a vm pet peeve i have is that vex & vax are pretty clear that they do not like their dad & that they think he's shit - and i don't recall them using his surname (vessar) for themselves at all in cr1. but in some other contexts they're called "vex vessar" & "vax vessar". like vex said she would rip his blood from her veins if she could. they can just be vex & vax.

Layers of a Devil

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: “Eligos Venator.”

Eye Color: “Yellow.”

Hair Style/Color: “Long hair. Very long. Slight curl to it, but not really styled as much as I keep the bangs cut short enough to stay mostly out of my eyes. And the color would be black.”

Height: “Average for a hyur, short for what I am. Five fulm, eight ilm. Nearly nine ilm, but not quite.”

Clothing Style: “Business formal. I wear either equipment for the job at hand, my suit, or my suit. While I’ll wear less at home, you’ll never see me in anything less than a fitted suit unless something requires me to give that up for a time.”

Best Physical Feature: “My fangs.” With this, the man grinned, revealing a sharp set of elongated canines, slightly longer and thinner than the typical keeper miqo’te’s. “Inherited from a distant ancestor. I’ve yet to receive a complaint for how I use them when so inclined.”

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Your Fears: “Starvation, namely. My efforts are devoted to staving it off as much as I possibly can. Beyond that, being discovered and those in Garlemald who knew me being potentially put to the sword for my defection.”

Your Guilty Pleasure: “Can’t say I have one. Not out of a lack of things that please me, but out of a lack of guilt or shame. Have you seen me? I’ve absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.”

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: “There’s a few, but one of the biggest are people who refuse to accept the advancement of technology and how it might improve their lives. Some people just want to be miserable and let their quality of life suffer, as if that suffering is a badge of honor. It’s not. It is pure idiocy and unfortunately lends credence to Garlemald’s claims of other nations being uncivilized savages, unable to advance with time unless forced.”

Your Ambition for the Future: “Can’t answer that. I really don’t have any ambitions. No hopes, dreams, or the like. Mine all burnt up in that fire in Garlemald, and I’m still picking out the pieces and trying to forge a proper life from the broken parts.”

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: “Dammit.”

What You Think About the Most: “With how varied my jobs are? The one consistent thought that repeats would be consideration of what I’ll be cooking later, and how to best prepare and present what I’ve chosen as the dish for that day.”

What You Think About Before Bed: “Usually? Whomever’s in my arms.”

You Think Your Best Quality Is: “My intellect.”

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: “Single, for a group may be fun, but it doesn’t allow one to build a proper connection. Individuals meeting privately allows for more in-depth discussion, which forms a stronger bond.”

To be Loved or Respected: “Respect me. I don’t care if you hate me so long as you treat me with respect. I’ll extend the same favor in kind. Hatred doesn’t mean one should cease being polite, after all.”

Beauty or Brains: “In myself? I have both, thank you. But in others, I’ll pick brains. Beauty is quite fetching but it only truly shines when the mind behind it is able to polish it and bring out the best one has.”

Dogs or Cats: “Part miqo’te, here. Do you really have to ask? Of course I’ll pick myself first, and so we’ll go with cats.”

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: “Absolutely, and absolutely not. I tell no lies, yet I’ll let you believe what you wish, and lead you astray. It’s both part of the game and a way in which I keep myself safe.”

Believe in Yourself: “Of course I do. One of my first proper life lessons was to believe in myself and care for myself, because nobody else will. And if you haven’t learned that lesson yet, best to take notes and keep it in mind for when fortune decides to give up on you.”

Believe in Love: “Sure. Some people love others. I may not feel those emotions written in a book the way others do, but I’ve seen enough in my life to believe it exists in some form or another for other people. For me, it’s far more vague and I can’t say I’ve felt the same thing written in novels. I might be capable of it, or I may not be. Who’s to say?”

Want Someone: “I’d be lying if I said greed didn’t have a hold of me in many aspects, as I always desire more. More wealth, more technology, more power, and more company. But it doesn’t necessarily always translate in the way you might assume. I’m quite content merely learning about others and playing the role of tolerated observer.”

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: “Yep. Both as a performer once upon a time for a job, and as a janitor after hours, cleaning up after performances.”

Done Drugs:  “Also a ‘yes’ answer. I’ve dabbled in the past.”

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: “Oh, constantly. This is my life we’re talking about now. I may try to retain a certain sense of self and not compromise some aspects, but I keep most of myself concealed and act according to any contract I may be under. Too many mistake me for a soulless professional because I bury that part of me that isn’t focused on business when working, and so assume all there is to me is a hired devil carrying out their dirty deeds.”

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color:  “Black for me. Not because I like the color, necessarily, but it’s normal for business suits and considered classy. Showing up in a pale blue suit doesn’t have half the impact a fitted black suit brings.”

Favorite Food: “None. I still refuse to repeat dishes if I can help it. My list of recipes to try has not shrunk by much in comparison to how it has grown with recent travels.”

Favorite Game: “Poker, five card draw. I’ll fail the first three hands, depending on who I’m dealing with, but after that? There’s always a chance of failure, but I can win from there on out, typically. It just takes time to burn a few hands to get a read on what cards are left in the deck still, and which ones are safe to swap out or hold for later.”

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be:  “Don’t remember, quite honestly. I never celebrated it as a child. I just count up when the year counts up for convenience’s sake.”

How Old Will You Be:  “Twenty eight. Twenty nine. Somewhere in that range.”

Age You Lost Your Virginity: “None of your business. Let’s say I was a lot more wild in my days at the Academy.”

Does Age Matter: “I prefer to deal with those around my age range or elder, especially when it comes to business deals. No offense to those who inherited money young and want me to aid them, but.. not interested unless the terms are mine. I learned the hard way back in Othard that no matter how good the paycheck is, it isn’t worth it if I have to spend all of my time thwarting my own client’s self-destructive impulses that come about from being young, reckless, and never having experienced failure in their life prior.”

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: “In a word? Confidence. A lack of can ruin any mood and any evening, no matter how nice it may have gone before. Total self-confidence is hardly a must, but a certain level of it is required in order to ensure an evening goes well and doesn’t become awkward at any stage. Perhaps this is a tad too vague, but it’s hard to judge a personality without comparing it to another, and as each individual is unique, that’s an impossible task.”

Best Eye Color: “No preference. The body may be a reflection of the mind in some ways, but for traits one cannot help, they should not be held responsible for or find themselves excluded because of.”

Best Hair Color: “No preference. See previous answer.”

Best thing to do with a Partner: “Do you really need to ask? I leave it to your imagination.”

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: “Absolutely nothing that I’d tell an interviewer. You’re not getting a hit list off me. Not that you’d be able to find my bird anyways.” I feel: “Unfulfilled, and yet unable to progress due to my circumstances.” I hide: “Everything about me beyond my equipment.” I miss: “Not being surrounded by people who have never heard of basic quality of life conveniences.” I wish: “That I was immortal. What, did you expect some ‘pity me’ sentimental thought? First immortality, then the riches, and then I’ll consider.”

Tagged by: @vshesrexiv! Thank you for the tag!

Tagging: @mischiefandmystics @ffxiv-sunderedsouls @miqojak @zinniane @casualcatte @spellsandtales @thepyriteprince @placesyoucallhome @kich-rp​ @deadtail-ffxiv​ @desimirffxiv​ @thefreelanceangel​ @roguestly​ @maiden-born-in-snow​ @thegildedgun​ @wondereverlasting​ @ofswordsandseductions-ffxiv​ @bolt-from-the-dark​ @meepsthemiqo​ @yokasaris​ @yafaemi​ @lavender-hemlock​ @windup-dragoon​ @handofcards​ @va1kyn​ @neekaxiv​ and anyone I didn’t get with this that wants to do it!

Survey #475

(from two days ago, oops)

What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) I really like a steady rain tapping on the windows. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No, because I'm ugly. It's annoying because I've been wanting to take pics with Girt considering even as just friends literally none exist of us, but yeah. I fucking hate taking pictures of myself and it takes a billion and two tries to get a picture I deem "acceptable" anyway. Were you named after anyone? No. What was the last comic book you read? I don't and never have read comic books. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. All things considered, somehow my former best friend was the worst. She was homophobic, racist, extremely self-centered, drama-driven, excessively bossy, ungrateful... I will never be able to explain how our friendship ever worked. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Burn it. With certainty. We just aren't meant to live forever. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? 99% of my life has been Cringe. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Be distracted/not pay attention to the other, like by constantly using their phone. It's so rude. That would immediately make me lose interest in you. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? I dunno. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? I was absolutely going to college as a kid. Fast-forward to the future, I've dropped out three times and am going nowhere. Little me saw me as so, so much more successful. Do you actually iron your clothes? No. Unless it's a formal occasion. Do you rent or own your current home? We rent. Have you ever used cursive after school, aside from your signature? My handwriting is naturally mostly cursive. Do you have your groceries delivered or do you buy them yourself? We order our groceries for pick-up, so we have to go to the store, but not in. Do you have a gym membership? Sigh. I do, but Mom and I have really been neglecting going since my time with my personal trainer ran out... What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror, of course. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? I am. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? EW no, that shit grosses me out so much. If someone’s laughing, do you instantly think they’re laughing at you? Suuuure do. How would you react if your parents told you they were having another baby? Well, they're divorced, Mom cannot stand my dad, and she also had a complete hysterectomy when she had ovarian cancer, so like... Have you ever had a garage or yard sale before? How much did you make? Over the course of my life, we've had a few yard sales. I don't remember how much we made at any. Have you ever had to evacuate your home for any reason? No. Which mythological creature is your favorite? DRAGONS. I love dragons. Have you ever been to a butterfly garden before? No, but that sounds amazing. What's the biggest bird you've ever seen up close? Oh my god y'all, when I volunteered once at a wildlife rehab center, I was FEET away from some sort of falcon. Guys, you would not believe JUST how big birds of prey are. I was shocked and in total awe. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? More than once. Were you ever afraid of the dark as a child? I don't THINK I was? What is the strangest thing you’ve been asked? Something inappropriate that really pissed me off. What was your favorite game as a child? I was obsessed with the original Spryo trilogy and would play all three obsessively. What is the darkest thing you have seen on the internet? I don't know, dark shit. Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? No, but ugh Girt does that with his neck and it drives me insane alsdkjfaljdlfkwe. Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? No, my immune system is a legend. Are you afraid of mice? No, they're precious. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I go on vacations so irregularly that I can't really answer this. I've been on a vacation maybe twice in my entire life. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? God no. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? No. I don't like soup. Who can never fail to make you laugh? Absolutely my boyfriend. He's the funniest person I know. Have you ever been on a tour bus? No. Do you prefer listening to things through headphones or speakers? Earplugs. Are you listening to music right now? No; I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within. Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? Just one of them, but we were together at the time. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? Mom made pizza. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? Girt's mother has Covid. He's vaccinated, but nevertheless, he's still getting a test done just to be safe, and also because if he's contracted it, I might have it. And that means my mother could get it, which just cannot happen, even if she's vaccinated, too. The poor guy is really freaking out about it, but ASTONISHINGLY, I'm not panicking yet. Girt's health has seemed fine, I'm fine, so... We'll just have to wait to see what his test says. Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No; yes. I hate living in the suburbs, it sucks here. Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?' No. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. Do you have freckles? Do you like/dislike them? Not on my face, no. I have a few randomly on my body though. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Oh, plenty. Who is the latest great YouTuber you’ve discovered? The latest, uhhhh. I'd probably say John Wolfe as a truly "great" one considering I watch him regularly now. Do you read the Bible regularly? Yeah, no. All the Bible does is piss me off, frankly. Name three patriotic songs you like. I don't know about three, but I do shockingly like this one country song with a name I can't remember. All I know is it has "red, white, and blue" in the title. ... I think. Oh! There's "Deutschland" by Rammstein, even though it's not about my own country. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? Maybe at some point as a kid? Idr. Do you like the way your name is spelled? No, actually. I wish it was "Brittney." It's more true to the pronunciation. Do you believe in astrology? Not in the slightest, and while I really shouldn't care, like believe what you want, it's a genuine pet peeve of mine when others base their fucking lives around what positions some goddamn stars are in in an infinite universe. They make decisions based on bullshit being spat at them that might not be suitable. I know, it's stupid to care, but I can never seem to NOT roll my eyes when I see/hear people blaming their flaws and shit on this stuff. Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? No; I have very few. What’s the band that you love even though you know they’re awful? I can't help but love some Blood on the Dance Floor songs. :x Do you coo over other people’s babies? No, not really. Like I can acknowledge a cute picture and be like "awww," but it's nothing I lose my mind over at all. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? The only high school friend of mine I'm still actively friends with/is still in my life is Girt, obviously. Like I have HS friends on Facebook that I still very much love and will react to what they post and sometimes comment, but we don't really talk-talk. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ That's not something I can afford to do. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Do you know both of your biological parents? Which one do you prefer? I do, and I love them both. Do you store a lot of pictures you’ve taken that no one else has seen? I'm a wanna-be photographer, of course I do. If you had to name your kid after an American state, which would you choose? Probably "Dakota" for either gender. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have your normal dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. Do/did you doodle on your books at school? My notebooks and binders, ohhhh yes. Actual school textbooks, absolutely not. Who’d you last see in a tux? The groom and groomsmen of the last wedding I shot. Who’s the bravest person you know? Sara. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No.

@axelandriab​ thank you so much for tagging me in this bc seeing brand new questions I’ve never answered before is like a breath of fresh air

Do you prefer writing in black or blue pen? black

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? I think about this often and I always used to say city but I’m feeling more country now

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? guitar... please... if not that then I’d like to speak German fluently...

Do you drink tea/ coffee with sugar? nope (unless you count honey as sugar for tea, then yes)

What was you favourite book as a child? I honestly don’t remember reading books/having books read to me but it was probably Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Do you prefer baths or showers? I haven’t taken a bath in a good 6 years so I forget what it feels like (I don’t fit in my bathtub anymore... I’m too long) so I gotta say showers by default

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? either some sort of fairy, nymph, or shapeshifter 

Paper or electronic books? Paper

What is your favourite item of clothing? my denim jacket with all my patches on it

Do you like your name? nope :3) I think Rachel is a very boring, generic, uncreative White Girl name and if I ever get famous (which ain’t gonna happen) I’d totally go by a pen/stage name

Who is a mentor to you? pssh just any of my Rock and Roll Dads (i.e. Joe Elliott, Brian May, Kevin Cronin, Nikki Sixx, etc), I feel like They guide me somehow

Would you like to be famous? famous for something good? Yes. I’m such an extrovert like 60% of the time and I love oversharing and sometimes feel like I’d be good at handling fame. Plus honestly I don’t feel like I’ll be able to survive long in life unless I somehow get famous bc let’s face it I’m never gonna have a “real career” or be satisfied with any job or be able to make a living by constantly working (but then again I don’t have any talent that can make me famous either oops)

Are you a restless sleeper? yeah more often than never :3)

Do you consider yourself a romantic person? aesthetically romantic, sometimes, but I identify as aro. Romance irl just feels wrong, like it doesn’t mix well with me, like when you put a certain metal in water and it explodes

Which element best represents you? Earth? Either earth or water

Who do you want to be closer to? “My favourite musicians ;(” <<stealing this too :c just all the Leppard bois pls

Do you miss someone at the moment? Nope

Tell us about an early childhood memory? I had a computer class in kindergarten, and I remember on the very first day of it, the teacher taught us what a floppy disc was when introducing us to all the parts of a computer. This was in 2006, and I still have yet to use one.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Probably chicken and waffle pringles, but dipped in chili (GOOD)

What are you most thankful for? the money I have in the bank (even tho I try not to touch it), my driver’s license, not having a job right now, my therapist, my music, my hamster, being surrounded by green

Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes, Rick Ray of Sunshine Allen :3 that’s it :’3

Do you keep a diary or journal? Nope, even tho my therapist told me that journaling my thoughts is a big help, I kinda don’t wanna go back to doing that

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pen bc it flows easier

What is your star sign? Pisces

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy all the way, soggy cereal is a HUGE pet peeve of mine

What would you want your legacy to be? someone who was very interesting and did a lot of things

Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? honestly, reading is overrated. Even if the book is good, reading isn’t as hyped up as everyone on this site thinks it is. I do like reading sometimes, but I barely do. I read a lot in high school bc I had so much free time on my hands in class, but outside of school I can’t do it. The last book I read was a reread of The Princess Bride by William Goldman

How do you show someone you love them? *Lisa Simpson staring at plate* ??? Error 405??

Do you like ice in your drinks? yeah but not a lot. Maybe just one or two cubes to keep it cold but not to dilute it a lot

What are you afraid of? being stuck where I am forever, never escaping my family, never finding my path in life, whatever the hell is wrong with my mentality getting worse and impacting my life in a huge way, any health related problems, I could go on :3)

What is your favourite scent? Old Spice

Do you address older people by their name or surname? ...what exactly is this question asking? Depends on how casual I am with them/how well I know them

If money was not a factor, how would your life be different? I would NOT be living here that’s for damn sure :3) I would’ve been to so many different places by now and maybe I’d actually have a real life and actually BE an interesting person

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, bc the ocean is too salty and choppy and doesn’t smell as good as chlorine imo

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? “I’d pick it up, and if I saw the person who dropped it, I’d give it back to them” << true but then if i couldn’t find them then I’d probably go buy some records with it and put the change aside into my Concert Fund

What is one thing you’d want to teach your children? honestly I don’t think I’m ever gonna have kids, but I’d want them to understand that gender roles don’t exist, and neither do the opinions of society

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what and where would it be? ...I’m actually getting a tattoo next week... it’s going to be on the side of my right shoulder, a silhouette of a pine tree with an outline of a crescent moon above it

What can you hear now? The sound of the fridge runnin in the room behind me, my mom getting something out of a drawer

Where do you feel the safest? in my bedroom

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? whatever’s fucked up in my head like anxiety and trauma, etc

If you could travel back to any era in time, what would it be? if I had to travel back anywhere and stay there for the rest of my life, I’d probably go back 1979 to see the dawn of the 80s and live through them. If I had to go for a day then I’d probably pick the summer of 1988 or something

What is your most used emoji? probably 🤙

Describe yourself using one word? tough

What do you regret most? not going to see Def Leppard and Journey when they were less than an hour away 2 years ago. Yes, I couldn’t drive back then, so there was really no way I could’ve gotten there and back (and I could’ve BARELY gotten a floor ticket to begin with, it would’ve cost like half the money I had to my name), but with the Stadium Tour being delayed ANOTHER year I feel like 2 years ago was the only chance I’ll ever have had to see my favorite band :c so even though it was basically impossible for me to go, and a lot of the factors of that were out of my control, I still feel like I blew it, and wish I tried literally everything I possibly could’ve done (like just buy the ticket and figure out how to get there later, call everyone I could think of to try and hitch a ride). Even if I did so, there was still a VERY, VERY slim chance that I could’ve ended up going by some goddamned MIRACLE okay I’ll shut up now sorry I’m just still very upset even so much time later

Last movie you saw? in theaters? Rocketman last summer. In general? Uhhhhh I really don’t know, I think it was Love, Simon

Last TV show you watched? on tv? Rick and Morty. In general? I was watching The Young Ones on youtube today

Invent a word and it’s meaning? Scress (we actually made this up like 2 years ago)- it’s a game where you play chess on a Scrabble board while also playing Scrabble

8, 10, 15, 20, 22, 26, 37, 40, 41, 50, 51, 52, 59, 63, 70, 71, 93, 94, 95, 96, 75, 76, 88, 85! Sorry if you find this too much! You can be selective among these numbers! 💙💙💙

You fool, I will answer them all because I can lmao.

8. How would you define your craft?

Careful and observant, testing and expanding. A flow within myself that is ready to burst with energy and the results which follow as my life becomes more empowered by what has become a reality. Hedge in nature, energy which seems to attract various lovely other events in my life (people, situations, etc.). Green in which uh, things grow when I am not trying to grow things lmao. Divination as answers tend to become like a story to uncover and explore. Death as a concept which is all too familiar and continues to be relevant as I work within my life, craft, anything. In other words, simply finding different facets which define me and how to incorporate those to further be myself. Healing as a continuous aspect which not only shapes me physically in the present, but looking at all of myself that is constantly healing and expanding in nature. Along with others who seem to gravitate for guidance or curiosity. 

10. How long have you been practicing?

Unofficially or not really aware since 2009 ish? Mostly because I didn’t really think for myself, but only for others. Then around 2013-14 I became more aware of it due to finding out about my interests more. So about 10 years or so?

15. What was the last spell you performed?

Last one was doing another Lightning Growth spell onto myself (first one was geared towards expanding my healing capacities, second that I am talking about was geared towards my dream magic). Though I did it during a time where I was very exhausted from work training, so it took a slightly different effect until I got ample sleep in between (I was dozing really hard in between being awake, so it’s interesting to see how energy actually affects my physical state of being).

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

I have two favorites in this way: the first one is the very first crystal given to me which was a smokey quartz. It’s helped me through thick and thin, so it’s very imbued with my energy now. The second one is a labradorite because it was the very first one I picked out for myself at a store. 

22. Do you have an altar?

Not necessarily an altar, but a general space where I have most of my supplies at. In a place high enough for the cat not to grab them, but also it looks aesthetically pleasing to easily find things. I also have more items in other storage within my room, but it’s more protected because feathers or more breakable items.

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

I know I simply started learning about cartomancy with playing cards, and gradually integrated myself within the Tumblr folks I was following to then create this blog as I learned more all around. Placing names to things I had been doing all along.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Observing more of my surroundings, admiring what is around me and taking note of the little things. Because it’s living in the moment and finding those things which make one happy, which cause another to be off guard, or simply living life without truly noticing. One never knows when a small gesture, word, or anything in that interaction will come back for a small thank you.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

This one right over here. I am pretty sure it was successful, though since it has since given more than one person as I go about the world. I think I did this one a year or two ago, though before that I did a ritual? Which that one is over here, which was in 2017 or so. That one was also successful for the end results.

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Uhhhhh, let me think. Sometimes I think different times when I had really good intuition to check up on people and it was like a life-death type of thing for them. Witchcraft wise I suppose it would be when I was learning about different deities and how they approached me lol. Because they really had to get my attention due to not really feeling their energy as much whereas most people would be overwhelmed. There could be something else but brain.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Depends on how I am feeling, but sometimes doing readings or doing some venting artwork seems to help me out. Though meditation when I have a good half an hour also works.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

Hmmmmmm, not as much by myself? Because I seem to be well covered for those things not to happen. But if I am with someone else who attracts those types of experiences? Then yes lmao. Watching a shadow crawl from the door to under the bed during a sleepover whilst seeing this happen, just makes me nervous as heck. I am not a fan of horror movies at all for this reason.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

I think I answered this a while ago, so let me think of another one. Oh, when people repeatedly don’t listen to the divination advice given by more than one reader. Especially because one can tell they want to see a different answer that verifies what they want to see. 

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

Mostly unsure when I did my first spell, because there was a lot of general stress around the house and I wanted something to become better during this time. I thought romantic of course so I could just cuddle away from the problems. So I was unsure that my ideals would be crushed basically. 

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My tarot card of choice is an interesting question. So for the card I would say those birth cards of mine The Chariot and The Tower. Because it does relate to my life in general in how I go about my life and I tend to simply appear to others dramatically or during crisis times. Plus depending on the deck I use, it tends to expand upon those traits in various angles.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

The folks that I meet along the way and being able to continue down this path without a set end goal. Just living life and changing along the way, whilst looking at others at various stages who are succeeding in their own manner.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

I would say look at those who are being overly reckless or not really sure of their own limits and hurting themselves/others in the process. So much drama that seems to happen between the community which would be easy to solve if there wasn’t so much misinformation spread around or simply respect for all the differences we have. Because folks really need to be true to themselves rather than take from others due to ‘aesthetic’ or ‘curiosity’ or ‘foreign what’s this uwu’ without asking if it’s really okay.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

If they want to reveal themselves to you, then that’s great. If they want one to explore and come across them in curiosity, then great. If one never figures it out because they are living their life, then great as well! If one needs another person to verify who is it through several folks, then great. 

There’s no time frame when one has to discover this and depending on the individual there’s also the possibility that they don’t have one. So that is only one deity out of literally hundreds one can connect with. If it’s right for you, then explore. 

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

A lot of the techniques that I learned for meditation came from the Headspace app honestly. I had tried the first ten days and decided to try it more long term for some monthly payments. So I tend to basically relax the physical body whilst dulling the senses, then I can focus more on breathing while thoughts come and go. Sometimes I go more visual once I am done examining my body overall or I do some astral - shadow - past life work doing that.

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

It has come easier to me over the years, though I always did have a pretty active imagination to boot lol. But it really depends on whether I am focusing on visual, daydreaming, or sleeping. Because the visuals seem to be different between the three of these? Otherwise it’s been fun trying to write out what I see because I’m writing like am not exactly a novel type of visual. More of a stated fact in the moment.

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

I prefer day in regards to enjoying a lovely morning in quietness, but I also like nighttime because it’s easier on my eyes and I tend to draw inspiration as well? So yes.

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

It’s re-defined me as an individual and has honestly expanded my knowledge both in the metaphysical manner and within my everyday life as well. Seeking interest in history, concepts, mysteries which I would have loved to have when I was younger.

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

I tend to find inspiration based on research, art, written experiences from others and delving within myself on what feels correct. Because not everything I have learned I have put up for the world to see ;)

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I think, it’s a path which has been carved throughout the different past lives and those experiences passed down to myself currently in messages, lessons, the need to discover. I don’t know what is unique about it other than it’s not one that other folks would find to be easy. It’s taken time, effort, and most of all trusting myself throughout all the decisions made no matter how successful or how much failure has been found doing so. 

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

Hmmmmmm, I like to leave little astral letters to deities because it makes me think more of what I want to say to them. Sometimes astral, music, messages or enjoying the little things that I think they enjoy as well. Knowing that I appreciate them being there for me and trying to continue improving myself which lets them know I am thanking them whenever possible.

So, I finally watched Boku No Mirai. I wasn’t able to the day it came out because I was in class all day. By the time I got home I basically sat in complete exhaustion until I passed the heck out. BUT my feelings under the cut. Note: It is currently 9am, I am sleep deprived and slightly sugar high. It might get a little off track.

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to watch this last movie or not. I, like the rest of you, am tired. So, so tired. I was afraid that it would make me angrier than I have been. It’s been three years. I just wanted it to end, but I was afraid of it ending.

I loved it. I cried five times throughout the movie. I was able to appreciate Meiko as a character. The thing that I was worried about the most and hated the most about Tri was rectified.

Does that mean I don’t have my problems with Tri? Heck no. But I’ve been angrier at Loss. But let me go through it.

I watched 4 of the 6 movies with my friend and fellow rp partner @spiritxgun and maybe he can speak of his own thoughts and feelings on the movies. We marathoned Digimon 01 together and went straight to Tri. We initially only meant to watch the first two movies. The first because I thought it was good. The second because it centred around Mimi, and she is the whole reason we watched. Since 02 barely has Mimi in it, there was little point in slogging through what I considered a terrible series just for 2 episodes where she was actually featured as a full character and not just seen for 3 seconds.

But Boku no Mirai crept up on us and I asked him to watch with me, and since we were going to watch the ending, why not the whole thing. Cue marathon. Anyways, sorry for the long sidenote.

Going back to the Real World, the kids have a quiet moment as they basically wait for what to do next. There’s a lot of unsureness and waiting. But there was a good scene with Yamato and Gabumon that I’m glad was there.

I’m not sure why Ordinemon preferenced going after Meiko on the pier and not Hikari in the bed. Ordinemon is 50/50 both their partners. Maybe Meiccoomon just held stronger influence. That’s likely it. Now it’s a desperate race to defeat Ordinemon.

I’m actually quite happy that Homeostasis wasn’t made out to be evil. Or that Yggdrasil necessarily went crazy. She was just doing what she thought was best, and I think it was rather kind of her to take the time to warn the children they were going against what she thought was against everyone’s best interests for peace, order and balance. Others may not see it as kindness, but that’s what I took away. These were her charges and while she doesn’t have a full range of human empathy, it is required, I think, to some degree to keep balance.

It just turns out the kids didn’t want her balance if it meant rebooting everything all the time. You know what? Good on them. I was starting to get annoyed that it felt like the kids were just caught between two feuding gods and had no business doing anything. So being proactive and fighting against her wishes was wonderful.

I also loved that Hackmon actually felt the most empathy toward the children. At least that seemed to be what was hinted with his words of ‘this isn’t what I wanted, either.’ Of course I can’t quote verbatim.

Actually, thinking of Hackmon and how James was surprised at Hackmon being Jesmon, I realized that we never saw Alphamon’s other forms. Any of them. Coupled with that, the mystery of the fake Gennai since Gennai was being kept with the 02 kids. Maybe Fake!Gennai is Alphamon?

Both of us wanted Fake!Gennai to die. Both of us thought at the same time how hilarious it would be if he got caught in the crossfire while gloating and just ceased.

I’m glad actually that one of my fears was proven wrong. I was hoping that Tri wasn’t just an excuse to establish the formation of the Royal Knights. That somehow Homeostasis wasn’t going to be overthrown for Yggdrasil, that constantly malfunctioning thing and get established a round table of knights that never seem to get along and always feud with one another and fall apart at the seems, replacing the concept of a Digidestined/Chosen Child for that.

I’m happy that the world isn’t idyllic and perfect like 02′s epilogue depicted. I hated it. Even as a child I thought it was too simplistic and fanficcy. Of course it sucks that everyone but the Chosen detest digimon now, but at best I expect an uneasy acceptance of digimon with fluctuating parts hate, neutrality and like for digimon as the world comes to terms with the idea of the Digital World existing alongside theirs.

I’m also glad that the memories of the digimon were restored. I know a lot of people hate the idea of their memories coming back. But it wasn’t the idea of the memories coming back that irked me. It was the status quo of the relationships not changing. At all. None of the digimon acted any differently or formed different relationships with their partners despite the lack of memories. Gatomon/Tailmon retained her Champion form despite the reboot making it so that in the new Digital World’s history she no longer had to struggle under Myotismon. But it seemed like the reboot wasn’t a complete clean slate. The history still affected the digimon in some way, and I think that was a hint that the memories would return. That something would be restored. I just wish there was a more visible contrast to there being a change in the first place. But I would have been just as angry if the memories had been returned in the same movie it was revealed they were definitely lost.

I’m sorry but Memory Loss for Drama/The Sads just is really a pet peeve of mine. I am who I am because of who I was, and my memories are a testament to that. So such a concept as one’s memories is important to me, personally. I don’t expect anyone else to share my feelings on the matter.

Regarding Wizardmon, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I think it was great how he was shown, but considering his hat was on the poster I would have liked to see him have more screen time. But seeing him there still made me cry and whisper soundlessly to James and somehow he still heard me through my microphone. How, I have no idea because honestly I was that quiet.

Since we’re talking about characters making appearances, I’ll also talk about the 02 kids. I am one of those people who don’t really give a fuck about the 02 kids. Sorry, but they more annoy me than anything. Except for maybe Iori and MAAAAYBE Ken. Maybe. If I hadn’t known that Tri was supposed to focus on the 01 kids I’d be more upset. But since it was very clearly established it wasn’t going to be on the 02 kids, I was satisfied with the idea that the kids probably wouldn’t actually be SEEN until the 6th movie and lo and behold I was right.

The movies do actually a good job with never letting us forget that the 02 kids are missing. But it was very evident we wouldn’t see them until the end. Why the 01 kids never wondered why they were absent, I’m not sure. I figured they moved to go to different high schools. An explanation just for clarity would have been nice.

The password for unlocking Meiccoomon’s memories was good, man. James was there speculating it would be Meiko’s name. But he figured that would be too simple. When he asked what I thought, I said ‘Ta much’ and TA DA! I win~

On Mimi, I was actually super happy that Mimi was so empathetic and passionate in this movie. I loved how she picked up Koromon. I wanted her to comfort him more. There wasn’t a lot of her in terms of screen time, but I was happy with what was there. It felt very ‘her’ to me, or how I always saw her to be.

The pacing was better than the last two movies. The animation budget seemed to be better, but I think there were a few quirks of what felt like a running-low-on-budget production, but it wasn’t as bad as that frigging montage of stills in Loss. That took both of us out of the story.

The second reboot itself felt a little iffy. Maybe I’d be more pissed if I hadn’t immediately thought of the concept that they already justified such a possibility with their more philosophical discussions previously. Plus it was definitely in line with Homeostasis and what she would do. Going back to Hackmon, I’m glad someone, even if it was Meiko, finally brought up the idea of whether or not Homeostasis even cared about them as people or was heartless, and going after Hackmon. Hackmon, likewise, I’m glad told Meiko to shut up about apologizing. But in a nicer way.

There was no repeat of conversations unlike Symbiosis, which started feeling repetitive. So that was good.

Both Maki and Daigo seemed to have died. Maki I stopped caring about, though I recognize the tragedy of her character. A Chosen fallen into despair and gone astray. She was abused and cracked under pressure of being a pawn. Daigo got his heroic farewell and I wouldn’t have been happier any other way. Even though he was the favourite of the newcomers. I just wanted him to be happy, but if he can’t be alive and happy, I’m glad he’s at least still happy while dead.

Orinemon’s ass shots were distracting. There’s no getting around that. Seriously who fucking flies like that? How is that natural looking in any way shape or form? It’s not aerodynamic by any means. Sure, her wings double as hands doubling as digimon n stuff but feetwings still need aerodynamic everything to fly properly. Legs down and bent over is not that.

I’m glad at least it felt like no other character got that treatment. Lillymon once with the flying I guess. But they could have been so much worse with Angewomon and Rosemon and they weren’t.

Yamato’s quip about shooting for space irked me. I’m sorry but why the fuck? Just a casual ‘lol I guess I’ll be random and quit my music career to 1-Up/Emulate Taichi’. You did NOT earn that! GTFO with it you are still a musician to me and always will be. Shoot for the stars in your music videos you absolute loser dweeb.

10 More Questions!

I was tagged by @summerkiska to do another 10 questions. And such awesome questions they are! Thank you for the tag, and I hope it helps with the getting to know each other. :)

My 10 Questions

1. What’s a line in your current WIP that you’re proud of (or just like a lot)?

Oh. I was going to post a whole passage but then I realized that “like a lot” meant liking that one line a lot, not a lot of lines that you’re proud of. ;)

Okay, well, let’s go with this line from a recent Emo Pistols chapter. 

But there is no one around to answer your questions, and the musty old store with the piles of junk under dim lighting and the wizened shopkeeper with the creepy laugh has been replaced by a shiny new coffee house with skinny and damp baristas who set your tall mocha frappuccino on fire as they serve it to you, saying, “This is for your bad taste in glasses!”, and you walk home with a heavy heart, knowing that you have to use the flaming coffee to dispose of your loved ones, who leer at you as you enter the front yard, saliva dripping from their lolling tongues as the smell of your brain reaches their nostrils.

2. What’s a question that you wish people would ask you about your writing? (And what’s the answer??)

Hmmm. Once someone told me "I know you like Sims stories but you have the talent for original fiction", which my reaction was something like, "Oh, my Sims story about a narrator with no gender or name traveling around various universes with its friend the darkness, a conscious bit of the void who can wear anything as a skin, isn't original enough for you?"

So, maybe the question would be "Why do you write Sims stories?"

And my answer would be because they're extremely fun and addictive and I love improvising with the game and I love taking the screenshots and editing them and putting the pictures and the words all together to tell the story. I love seeing what I can come up with based on the game and all its absurdities. It makes me really really happy.

And also over the years people in the Sims community have sometimes come out of the woodwork to tell me what my work means to them, from helping them get through their mother dying from cancer to helping them deal with their own feelings of isolation and anxiety, and that their life is better because my Sims stories exist.

3. What’s your favorite part of the writing process? 

I guess actually writing? There’s not much else to the process really for me. I don’t usually plan or do outlines or anything. I just start typing, and I see what happens.

I’ve noticed that outlines and plans are big around here, and I think that’s cool because I like it when people’s brains work differently from mine and I get to learn about things that I haven’t experienced and read things that my brain would not have come up with. But the most outlining I’ve ever done is a few lines of “hey, this could happen maybe” before starting a new chapter, and I haven’t done that since...2011?

I just kind of....feel the story out? I reread what I’ve already written constantly, and I feel what the story wants. I don’t know how to say it, really. A lot of writing is subconscious for me. I start typing, and I get in the zone, and it’s like everything is green and golden and beautiful and the story is flowing through my fingers and I’m one with the universe and on the good days it can be like seeing the face of God.

4. What song best fits the theme of your WIP main character? (And why?)

Seth has hundreds of songs across dozens of playlists, but two stick out. Old school Seth’s main song was Possum Kingdom, by the Toadies. Emo Pistols Seth is the healthiest and least murderous version of him I’ve written, so Arsonist’s Lullabye by Hozier is more his speed. 

Possum Kingdom fits perfectly with his role in his first story, In the Valley of the Sun, where he was the villain and he was intent on killing the main character and then bringing her back to life with ambrosia and keeping her with him forever. :)

In Emo Pistols he’s the main character, and he’s writing letters to two penpals. He is actually trying to work on his issues and figure things out. He’s had a lot of trauma around fire in his life. You can read about him as a teenager here - Eggshells. His father was blamed for a fire at the factory where he worked. 10 people died in it. His father survived, but he was severely injured and his mental health never recovered. The kids he went to school with did not let him forget that.

In Emo Pistols he’s an adult and married. He became an alchemist, and he was working on experiments in his lab when a fire broke out. He almost died of smoke inhalation, and the trauma reawakened the scars from his childhood. Same backstory as Valley. Just at this point in Valley, he went to the dark and became the villain. In Emo Pistols, he’s trying to, well, keep his demons on a leash. ;)

Okay, I am verbose and this is getting long, so I'll put a cut.

5. What habits or rituals do you have for writing sessions?

I have to take a shower and eat first, because I need clean hair and calories to write, and then I always have a playlist relevant to the story I’m working on going.

6. What’s one piece of advice you wish you were given when you first started your writing journey?

I don’t know what advice six year old me would have understood. But I guess...I grew up with people who loved my writing. My teachers and the other kids at school always praised my work, like to the extent of giving me a standing ovation in 8th grade when I read my essay on beauty out loud. So the first time I got hate online it was a totally new experience, and it knocked me sideways. 

I don’t know that I would have wanted someone to tell me this though. I had to learn it the hard way, but that means that I’ve really learned it and that I’ve taken it to heart and that I’ve struggled to come to terms with it and that I can empathize with other people in that situation. But the advice I would give a young writer who came to me now upset about people hating their work is this:

Our view of reality is curved around our ego. Our experiences and prejudices and problems are the lens through which we see the world. Other people bring their own stuff to your work. You can listen to them and see if what they say has any merit, but remember that they may not be seeing your work at all. They may only be seeing themselves reflected back at them. What they say has no bearing on the value of your work, which is of infinite worth just like everything else in creation. 

Also, after seeing a movie or watching a TV show that you like, go and look at what other people say about it. You’ll see that some people seem to have watched something entirely different than you did. The work is the same, but we all see different things when we look at it. It’s up to you whose view of your work you let in.

7. Who was your first book character crush? (Or if you can’t remember, who’s your favorite book character crush?)

Sherlock Holmes. My sixth grade literature textbook had a play version of The Dying Detective, and I immediately fell in love. We didn’t have the internet then so I didn’t write it and publish it online, thank goodness, but I had self-insert fanfic daydreams of going back in time and chilling with Holmes and Watson all the time.

8. What’s one of your writing pet peeves?

The arguments in the writing community. I don’t know, I guess it’s because I grew up in Appalachia and went to rural working class schools and didn’t get socialized into mainstream American middle class culture or something, but seriously, guys. All the genres can be special. All kinds of books can have worth. You don’t have to insult other styles and writers and books. You don’t have to show off whatever it is you think you’re showing off with “literary” stuff and you don’t have to show off your “common man” cred with yelling about how much you hate classics and literary fiction. Just chill. Let other people read and write what they want. It’s not that important.

9. Who’s your favorite character in fiction that you loved to hate?

This is hard. I don’t like hating. I like liking people and things. But I guess if there is one that gets mentioned around here fairly often in conversations with the spousal person, it’s book five Harry. And even that’s not hate. Dude had a reason to be annoying and emo and whiny, and really all it needed was an editor to slim it down some.

Kylo Ren is annoying, but that’s not hate either. He’s too pathetic for hate.

Going back to Harry Potter, Umbridge, maybe? She’s a good representation of everything I dislike in humans, and a much better villain than Voldemort.

10. What are you currently trying to work on when it comes to growing as a writer? (And how’s it going??)

Hmmm. This is a good question, because actually I don’t know.

I was reading something online and for some reason there was a line break in the word sunlight, so s was the end of one line and unlight was the beginning of the next. I looked at “unlight” for a while, and now I’m all about words that make the spellchecker yell at me. Like in Emo Pistols Seth talks a lot about the sun wanting to eat him, so there’s teethlight and sunbelly. Toomuch and notenough. Me and notme. Starteeth halos. A chapter of Surreal Darkness is titled The Unswallowing Place. I want to stretch the language and make it do tricks. 

I think it’s going okay. I’ve been writing for a long time, and at this point a lot of it is muscle memory. Like I talk about how much I love taking hours to find the right word, but really it doesn’t take that long anymore. I guess now instead of finding the right word, it’s more like “How can I combine words in new ways and make them do new things? How can I take cardboard and caramel and doors and the sun and make them explain what it means to Seth to be human? What can I do with the edges of the Sims 4 worlds and making my characters walk in the flat places with painted-on mountains and trees, and what can I make that say about reality and skins and being and friendship?”

Hmmm. That probably sounds terribly pretentious if you don’t know me yet, lol. I like to think that it’s not, though. I guess you can read it and see how it looks through your experiences. :)

Okay, now I have to do the 10 questions thing. I'll tag @etherayy, @lazyfox411, @fuckenwhatever, and @somethingwriterly. If you don't wanna do it that's perfectly fine.

1. When did you first become interested in writing?

2. How did the idea for your current WiP come to you?

3. What other authors/life events/etc. influences your writing?

4. What are your hopes for your work? 

5. What would you want the book cover for your current WiP to look like? (If it's not a book, then any kind of illustration pertaining to it.)

6. Have you noticed any repeating themes or imagery in your work? If so, what are they?

7. What are your writing strengths?

8. What have you learned about yourself through your work?

9. How would you define art?

10. What's your favorite word?

Ask Meme

I somehow completely destroyed that last post.  R.I.P. this isn’t my night

*Whoops, I somehow posted this before it was done.  

Questions from this.  Actual asks under the cut.

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? The first one I actually wrote fanfiction for was Inu-Yasha.  But the first one I read fanfiction for was Ranma ½.  

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in? Undertale, absolutely. <3

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in. Okay, so Inu-Yasha/Kagome or Kouga/Kagome, Peach/Bowser, Sonic/Sally, Garrus/Shepard, Misty/Ash (AAML, yo), Lucy/Loke (Fairytail–NaLu also accepted), Kirito/Asuna, Alistair/Warden, Fenris/Hawke, what else do I ship, I mean I feel like I ship everything.  

I’ll list the Undertale ones below on 11.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in. I’m not adverse to most ships, but Garrus/Tali is a hard no, as is Ash/anyone other than Misty (but I don’t pay attention to the pkmn anime enough to care).  Also don’t like Peach/Mario (Peach/Luigi is weirdly okay), Sonic/Amy (but I don’t keep up with the Sonic fandom either), Kirito/Sinon or anyone but Asuna.  

NoTPs for Undertale are Soriel and Papyton.  

11. Who is your current OTP? My favorite OTP is an OT-me.  ;)  Gimme me/pretty much any skeleton.   I’m into Frans.  I don’t mind fontcest/selfcest if it’s interesting and in-character; I think my biggest pet-peeve with it is how out-of-character most fics portray them.   Aside from Undertale OTPs, my biggest OTP will always be Garrus/Shepard.

12. Who is your current OT3? A honeymustard sandwich with yours truly.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs? Sans and Paps–any and all iterations.  Undyne and Papyrus.  Sans and Grillby.  Stretch and Crooks.  

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it. SSLL, definitely.  It’s one I didn’t expect to be popular, yet somehow it is??  I think it’s just because there’s a buncha sinners out there that wanna date all the skeletons just like I do.  I really like it because it’s such low stress.  I love all of the characters, and even when I second-guess myself on chapters, everyone always sends me such encouraging comments.  And then they draw fanart!  And I want to print it all out and cover my entire wall with it so I can just stare at how talented everyone is–and how they decided to share their talent with me by bringing a scene to life!  I love love love hearing/seeing what people enjoyed about it.   But I guess what I like the most about the story itself is that it’s about finding friends that support you–no matter what.  It’s mostly light-hearted fun, and the Lady does develop as she spends time with the skeletons.

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of? Oh man, I’m happy with whatever scene you guys liked the best!   But something I’d really like to see is the Lady wearing Sans’s jacket while he has his arm around her from the last chapter.   And honestly, I’d really like to see some fanart from (You) Fell Underwater once I get that going because I’m super hype for Oceanfell Sans.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you? I listen to those 1-hour Undertale fan songs while I write.  Mostly Waters of Megalovania or a Horrortale one (Snowy Forest, maybe?), or  SharaX’s Dusttale remix.  If it has words, I can’t concentrate, so I guess I use the repetitive song to block out everything around me.  

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

– A Puzzle Just For Me   (Explicit; Mob!Sans/Reader) – Dalliance (Explicit; Frans– non-con warning) – Osteo-Citation (Sans/Reader/Papyrus poly; eventual Explicit but slow burn) – Sooner or Later, You’re Gonna be Mine (Mobfell Frans; Mature) – The Party Incident and Other Embarrassing Anecdotes (Sans/Reader; eventual-Explicit but slow-burn)

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

@thebananafrappe  (<– writing goals) @nihilismpastry @jolie-in-the-underground @nighttimepixels @with-a-whisper

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!  (+fanfiction pet-peeve per request)

One thing I love is the community and how nice people can be!  How there’s so many AU’s in Undertale, and how amazing everyone headcanons are.  I love that we can all get together and have fun creating something and sharing ideas!

But I also really hate when people are dicks.  I see it happen to plenty of people, my friends, and yep–me too.  They don’t like a ship or they decide to shit on someone’s writing without giving proper constructive criticism, or they just want to rant about how much they hated a character’s decision to do something, as if that character has personally affronted them.  They tend to take Reader-inserts too personally, and when people leave negative comments… well, I just think that’s shitty.  

Seriously.  If you don’t like a fic, or don’t like something about it–just hit the back button, buddy.  Stop reading.  Don’t send something with the intent of shitting on someone’s day just because you’re an asshole.  At the end of the day, we’re all just fans.  We typically don’t get paid to write fanfiction, so we’re just doing it for fun–and to share ideas and stories.  You won’t like everything you read, but why ruin someone else’s confidence because of it?  Why can’t we just build each other up instead of constantly trying to tear one another down?  I’m sure we’ve all got enough negativity in our daily lives, so why bring it into our fandoms too?

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

“Layers” Character Meme 

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Charles Harris Wilson Charon

Eye Color: Bright blue

Hair Style/Color: He inherited the same ginger-red as Martha. Likes keeping it short, but can’t manage to cut it often enough for it to be as neat as he’d like. Habitually tries to finger-comb it over at intervals. Post-ghoulification, just doesn’t care. Touching it might lose him the last of it.

Height: 6′4″ (+ - I haven’t completely nailed it down, but he’s about a foot taller than LW. Mine was female and I pictured her being fairly small, so I tacked a foot onto that, but I don’t think the male models are much taller. He could be anything up to 7″ depending on how you view your LW?!)

Clothing Style: Provided he has a choice, he likes pre-war casual - going on game options only, parkstroller or spring - but the red shade is a bit much, switch it out for something lighter. He’s awkward in that he doesn’t like short sleeved shirts but he doesn’t like long either, so he has to roll long ones to the exact right place. Post-programming, he doesn’t even entertain the notion of casual clothing. Always armored, light enough not to weigh him down (his agility is already pretty poor). 

Best Physical Feature: Probably his eyes. Which backfires pretty spectacularly when they’re the only thing he retains in ghoul form and they become creepy and too-real compared to the rest of him. He used to have a nice smile, but it was the rarity of it more than anything. It felt odd to smile - when he was surrounded by misery - even when it was his natural reaction to someone or something, so he had a habit of clenching his back teeth and trying to suppress it. The result was a kind of reluctant, delayed half-smile that made him look shy, and a certain type of lady liked that.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Younger: Losing his family or something happening to them, losing his own identity after he was bought by them. Older: Nothing - he’s not allowed to be afraid of things, it might impair his usefulness.

Guilty Pleasure: Younger: Stealing smokes from dead people. Slightly less guilty if they’re slavers. Older: None. Still does that, but no longer guilty. Every selfish thought he has produces a faint sense of guilt. Vague, fleeting thoughts of his own preferences, that kind of thing.

Biggest Pet Peeve[s]: Younger: More like an intense hatred; slavers pushing around people weaker than them, which he took to be women, children and the elderly. He got his ass kicked more than once trying to step in for them. Older: Employers who don’t know how to watch their own asses. He can only do so much; he’s one ghoul, not your guardian angel.

Ambition for the Future: Younger: Escape somehow, free his fellow slaves, clear out Paradise Falls so no one else ever gets taken there. After that, he never intended to go home. Fuzzy memories of cannibalism and incest no longer seem part and parcel of living. He’d rather go find his own home. Older: Haha, that’s funny.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: Younger: “Collar’s still there.” Older: “Is [Employer Name] still alive?”

What They Think About the Most: Everyone else. This is pretty consistent. He can’t be called a Mom Friend at any point, but he has a natural inclination to look after anyone who needs it. Y’know... a real man protects his family, and all.

What They Think About Before Bed: Younger: He’s probably been worked to instant unconsciousness. Older: After the security of the area, his thoughts wander as far as they can. Sometimes he tries to count his employers backwards, hoping he’ll break through that strange barrier he senses somewhere in the past. Why doesn’t he remember anyone before that?

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: Younger: He knows he’s a grounding influence. He’s good at projecting a calm aura. Older: His shotgun.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Group dates sound fun. That takes off a lot of pressure and seriousness; and it’d be nice for a girl to have another girl to talk to, right? Maybe single dates would be better after something like that. Of course, older... neither. 

To be Loved or Respected: Younger: Both. Older: Respected.

Beauty or Brains: Younger: He’d like to say “brains” but he’s an absolute sucker for pretty girls. As long as they can tell a mole rat from a deathclaw, they’re probably good. Older: Definitely brains. Even if anything else weren’t hypocritical, he’s a lot more relaxed around someone who won’t get themselves killed.

Dogs or Cats: Dogs. There aren’t supposed to be any cats left, Todd.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: Younger: Rarely. Older: Never.

Believe in Yourself: Younger: Oddly, yes. He’s confident for someone with a bomb round his neck. Older: Yes, but in a much more practical sense.

Believe in Love: Younger: What’s not to believe in? Older: ... 

Want Someone: Younger: Eventually. He’s a little commitment-phobic, but I think that’s understandable when you were engaged to your sister as a kid. Older: Pointless to think about. No.

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: No.

Done Drugs: Younger: (sheepish fidgeting, awkward smile)  Older: Yeah, occasionally - but he almost sees it as medicinal. Firefight taking too long? Employer tiring out? Psycho. Finish it.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Never - never been able to. If he were, he might have seemed less like a vault tec ad come to life in his younger years.

LAYER SEVEN: AGE

DOB: Between 17 and 30+ depending on timeline point. I talked to Nimriel about this yesterday - I think averages out about 26, assuming we’re post-F3. But he stops counting then, since he’s technically immortal and never any closer to death. The only thing that changes anymore is the amount of unmarked skin he has left.

How Old Will You Be: ^^^

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 15. He’s a little ashamed of that now.

Does Age Matter: For what? For friends, not at all. For proper, long term partners, definitely. He’s a little shallow and won’t go much older than he is, but neither will he go much younger, and by “much”, I mean she has to be a grown woman with the maturity to match. He’s not interested in teenagers, they’re still kids, and kids shouldn’t think about that stuff. Obviously, older!Charon doesn’t give a fried fuck, his employers could be 19 or 90 as long as they’re breathing.

LAYER EIGHT: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: Younger: Genuine, kind, caring, monogamous. Seriously, he has the out of touch mindset of a 1950s poster for a new oven, besides the intense misogyny. That said, he still thinks women have a certain sort of role; he sees it as his job to keep her and the children safe, and hers to take care of the home they put together from within. That means more making sure everyone eats more than polishing the silverware, though. It makes a little more sense in a Fallout setting; having one of them focused on defence and one on offence is pretty logical. He wouldn’t want anyone he loved to be the one getting covered in raider blood. Older: This isn’t really something that ever crosses his mind, but he does admire people with a purpose.

Best Eye Color: Doesn’t matter. He’s weak. 

Best Hair Color: Again. Weak. But he likes blondes.

Best thing to do With a Partner: Younger: Never really had one for any extended period of time, if you catch my drift - but he’d probably like to travel with them. He loves seeing new places, but it’d be nicer if he wasn’t alone. Older: Survive?

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: [no words - just an image of an empty landscape view and the sun shining on it. seems to be the area surrounding Paradise Falls, but not viewed through a fence]

I feel: Younger: “Lucky.” (I know. But it’s the truth. He’s constantly thankful to still be alive after every owner and every fight). Older: “...”

I hide: Younger: His despair. That’s not something others ought to see, especially if it might affect them. He’s not as certain as he seems about being free one day. Older: Nothing, but he has nothing to hide, really. Just ask.

I miss: Younger: ??? How can he miss anything, when he never had it? Older: He has a vague sense that he used to be capable of a higher level of empathy and independence, but he’s not sure what that feeling is based on. If it’s true, it would be nice.

I wish: Younger: “I could get out of here.” Older: “...”

i was tagged by the wonderful @tcstu! thanks for the weird questions! :D

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 10 questions of your own, tag 10 people.

1) If you could choose another way for human beings to relax and re-charge besides sleeping, what would it be?

i’d probably make something like work be the thing that recharges humans. we get rest by creating? revolutionary! 

2) If you could invent a new body part, what would it be and why?

since i’m a wheelchair user, i’m constantly wishing i just had an extra way to carry stuff, so, i’d probably just add another arm. i’m tons of fun and creativity, i know.

3) Have you ever written a story based on a dream?

hah! no! my dreams are somewhere between uneventful and bizarre (i.e., my mom coming home with too many Snickers bars and both of us being genuinely disturbed at the surplus of candy), so i don’t think i could make much of a novel from one of those.

4) Which character, either yours or someone else’s would make the worst roommate?

of my characters, i’d say that Keralynne of Chesed would be the worst, what with being raised a princess and all. 

of the characters of others... call me basic or whatever, but Margo from Paper Towns would be... interesting to have as a roommate. 

5) What was the first book you fell in love with?

Mine for Keeps by Jean Little was the first book that ever made me cry. as a disabled little girl, reading a story about another disabled little girl really, really made me feel like this was a world where i could live and thrive.

6) How did you come up with the idea for your current WIP(s)?

18 Years came from a few places. one of my best friends calls me a badass because i live and try to be the best i can be even though i’m in pain. Around that time, I met my friend Allie, whose Twitter bio is “my life is dope and i do dope shit”. and around that time, my mom was watching tv, and i heard “Chesapeake” and thought that would make a nice name. so, that’s when Chessa and her story were born! 

moments ♡ was my first foray back into writing after my years-long hiatus for college. it started out as just some oneshots, and it stayed just some oneshots, honestly. 

Apple of My Eye is a fanfiction based on the name that the artist who stars in the fic used in a song. it’s just a sweet little romance story, really. i wrote it because i needed to practice a few things, and i figured i might as well do that with fic where i could work on building up an audience while i practiced!

“Portland Autumn” is a short story based on two nonbinary characters, one of them being asexual and the other being aromantic, and they meet and have their stories together in Portland. in the autumn. 

7) What cancelled TV show or book series would you like to bring back?

stick with me here, but Lifetime had this show called Side Order of Life that my mom and i were OBSESSED with, and it was cancelled after one season! nobody i know has even heard of it, but it was our favorite, and i’m still bummed -- literally ten years later -- that it stopped happening. 

8) Which fantasy world would you want to live in forever?

Fairy World from The Fairly Odd Parents

9) If you could design your own planet, with no limitations of our current reality, what would it be like?

i’d probably just design a planet that’s wheelchair accessible and has battered chicken vines or something? i don’t want much, honestly. 

10) What WIP have you worked on the longest?

i have ones on my list of future projects that i’ve been dreaming of since high school, but of the ones i’m writing right now, i’ve been working on moments ♡ the longest.

my 10 questions! 

1. do you have a go-to writing snack?

2. the last thing you wrote on paper?

3. do you have any links for promo? a blog or Wattpad or something? if so, drop them here!

4. what song do you associate with each of your works in progress?

5. what’s your biggest writing pet peeve?

6. your favorite work of fiction (book, movie, play, tv show, etc.) of all time?

7. would you rather your work mean a lot to a few people or a little bit to a lot of people?

8. what’s the nicest name you’ve ever heard?

9. how do you feel about research?

10. all of the hugs or avoiding human contact?

ok, for my 10 people, I’m tagging... you! it doesn’t matter who you are or how many followers you have! please, do this! i have been the person who sees a thing i want to do but isn’t tagged before, and it sucks, so if you want to answer my questions, just do it! and tag your humans! :D

I can’t wait to hear your answers! As always, no pressure to reply. If I didn’t tag you and you would like to participate, feel free to jump in!

Excerpt ~ Top Secret by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

Bestselling authors Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy return with their first Male / Male romance in 3 years.

LobsterShorts, 21

Jock. Secretly a science geek. Hot AF.

  LobsterShorts: So. Here goes. For her birthday, my girlfriend wants…a threesome.

 SinnerThree: Then you’ve come to the right hookup app.

 LobsterShorts: Have you done this sort of thing before? With another guy?

 SinnerThree: All the time. I’m an equal opportunity player. You?

 LobsterShorts: [crickets!] 

  SinnerThree, 21

Finance major. Secretly a male dancer. Hot AF. 

SinnerThree: Well, I’m down if you are. My life is kind of a mess right now. School, work, family stress. Oh, and I live next door to the most annoying dude in the world. I need the distraction. Are you sure you want this?

LobsterShorts: I might want it a little more than I’m willing to admit.

SinnerThree: Hey, nothing wrong with pushing your boundaries…

LobsterShorts: Tell that to my control-freak father. Anyway. What if this threesome is awkward?

SinnerThree: Then it’s awkward. It’s not like we’ll ever have to see each other again. Right? Just promise you won’t fall in love with me.

LobsterShorts: Now wouldn’t that be life-changing…

Q&A about Top Secret:

Q: Have we met these characters before in another book?

A: No! These guys are brand new, and we can’t wait for you to meet them.

Q: Is this story MM? Or is it a MMF / MFM / menage?

A: This book is MM.

Q: Is this a love triangle story?

A: Not really. You’ll see.

  Goodreads: https://geni.us/TopSecretGoodreads 

Apple: https://geni.us/TopSecretApple 

Kobo: https://geni.us/TopSecretKobo 

Nook: https://geni.us/TopSecretNook 

TOP SECRET by Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy

Chapter One

Keaton

“Look,” Annika whispers in my ear. Under the table, her small hand squeezes my thigh, while her cheek gently nudges my chin toward the doorway. “He’s cute.”

“Subtle,” I tease before giving the object of her attention a cursory glance. He’s just a tall guy with brown hair, nothing special as far as I can tell. “How about we save this conversation for later?”

She rolls her eyes. “We both know there won’t be a conversation, Keaton. You like playing along, but you won’t actually go through with it.” This time she forgets to lower her voice.

“Go through with what?” one of my frat brothers asks from across the table. Tanner, Judd, and I had popped into the campus Starbucks for a caffeine fix after practice. Annika’s next class is directly across the street, so she’d come to say hi before class.

“Nothing,” I tell Tanner.

If you can call your girlfriend wanting a threesome with another dude “nothing.”

Yup, my girlfriend wants a threesome. And here I’d thought that, after six years together, Annika couldn’t surprise me anymore.

She and I have been inseparable since junior year of high school. I know every last detail about her, from her food preferences to her pet peeves. I know she gets anxiety in long lines, that she sneezes any time she gets a whiff of cinnamon, that she loves the beach but hates skiing.

What I didn’t know was that my girlfriend fantasizes about threesomes. The first time she brought it up, I thought she was kidding around. Annika Schiffer, heiress to a home-furnishings fortune, wants to bang two guys at the same time? Yeah right.

My girl is the president of her sorority, wears a pearl necklace (and not the fun kind) on a daily basis, and made me wait until we were eighteen to lose our virginities to each other. Don’t get me wrong—she’s not some uptight rich bitch with a stick up her butt. She’s fun and warm and fierce when someone tries to mess with her or her loved ones.

But she’s also… I’ll just say it: vanilla.

I didn’t think she was serious about the threesome thing until last week, when I’d asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she brought up the idea again.

I move my lips to her ear so Tanner and Judd can’t overhear. “Don’t you worry, babe, there’ll be more than just a conversation,” I rasp.

She shivers, and then flashes me a dazzling smile. Her face is flawless. Classic features, pouty lips, and smooth skin that’s just the right amount of dewy. She works hard and spends a lot of money for that skin. I’ve been in her bathroom at the sorority house, so I’ve seen all the products she puts on her face to keep it looking so perfect. Not to mention the monthly facials, which require her to fly to New York every month because this little college town we live in doesn’t have a “competent aesthetician”—her words, not mine.

It helps that her father owns a helicopter that can accommodate her monthly treks. I’m not one to judge, though. My dad has his own jet.

“I can’t wait,” she says before hopping off my lap. “Come over tonight after practice, okay, baby? I have to go to class now.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, boys.” Annika’s hand flutters in a wave on her way to the door.

“Later!” Tanner calls after her. And if I’m not mistaken, he takes a longing look at her ass.

“Dude,” I say. “If you’re going to eye-fuck my girlfriend, you could at least be subtle about it.”

“Why?” Tanner argues. “She’d be flattered. And you should know how good you’ve got it. Besides, I’m harmless.” He flashes me a big smile. “What are we doing this weekend, anyway?” Tanner asks. “The Presidential Dance-off, right?”

I shake my head. “That’s, like, in two weeks, man.”

“Really? Why did I think it was sooner?”

“Because you’re stupid,” Judd offers helpfully.

Tanner gives him the finger, before turning back to me. “Do you know what you’re doing for yours yet?”

I have no clue. And no, dancing isn’t an actual requirement for our fraternity’s presidential race. But it used to be. A few decades ago, the candidates running for frat president decided a dance-off was the only way to decide who was more fit to lead. Hence, the Presidential Dance-off was born. On our living room walls, there are old photos of well-dressed men with slicked-back hair and girls in poodle skirts on their arms.

My fraternity has long-held traditions that began well before the invention of the red Solo cup. But these days, Alpha Delta has evolved. Or devolved, depending who you ask. Instead of perfecting his twist and his mashed potato, the presidential candidate is expected to dazzle the other members by planning a kickass event. I’m talking epic. Monumental. The kind of party that will be remembered for years to come.

Although, like dance moves, I’m not entirely sure that party planning is a solid indicator of what makes a good president. Sure, frats throw a lot of parties, but there’s a social committee for that.

The role of president is actually pretty lame, according to Reedsy, our current prez. He pulled me aside after I threw my name in the race and admitted that it’s a boring gig and that I should reconsider. “So much fucking responsibility on your shoulders, dude,” he’d bemoaned.

For a moment, I’d almost bailed. To be honest, I’m only running because my dad was president of Alpha Delt in his heyday, and my granddad before him. But that’s also the reason I couldn’t bail. My father would lose his shit if the Hayworth legacy ended with me.

So I have ten days to plan a legendary party.

“Maybe I can just hire an event planner?” I suggest.

“No way.” Judd’s response is immediate. “If that fuckhead Bailey finds out, he’ll have you impeached.”

“You can’t impeach someone until he’s elected,” Tanner points out.

Still, I don’t want to be accused of cheating. What a pain in the ass this whole thing is. “We can brainstorm about this on Sunday night. We have a game to win on Saturday.”

“Oh, we’re going to win,” Tanner promises.

But I’m not so sure. Not only am I worried about the Northern Mass offense, I think my father is driving up for the game. So winning isn’t even enough. If the Northern Mass players aren’t crying into their helmets after the fourth quarter, my father will still give me hell at brunch the next day.

And here I thought weekends were meant to be relaxing.

“Fine,” Judd says. “We’ll talk about your campaign after the other meeting on Sunday night.”

“What other meeting?” I search my brain and come up empty.

“Pledge Committee,” he says, gulping the last of his coffee.

Oh, phew. “I don’t have to go to that one. I’m not on PC this year.”

“But I sent you that email?” Judd whines. “I told you I need you there. Initiation night is coming up and my committee is lame.”

“Who’s on it, anyway? What do you have planned?” Note to self: be conveniently unavailable on Sunday night. There is no way I’m sitting on the Pledge Committee again. Dealing with last year’s pledge class was a total pain in the ass.

“There’s Ahmad, who’s smart but boring. Paul, who’s just boring. Owen, who’s fun but not exactly creative. And Paxton, who’s just a tool.” He sighs. “Whatever. At least Bailey isn’t on it this time. Remember what a buzz kill he was last year? I fucking hate that guy.”

No big secret there. Judd’s had it in for Luke Bailey ever since the guy rushed Alpha Delt sophomore year. And say what you will about Judd, but he’s not an asshole unless he feels you’ve given him a reason. He’s a bro to the core—he believes in male bonding, high fives, and, in his mind, a friendship isn’t official unless you’ve bled together, partied together, and nursed your twin hangovers the morning after.

Luke Bailey doesn’t subscribe to this philosophy. The moment he scoffed at Judd’s attempt at a fist bump, he earned himself an enemy in Judd Keller.

Since then, their tumultuous acquaintanceship has only gotten worse. Luke is a cocky ass when he wants to be, and Judd hates feeling like he’s being mocked or judged.

Oh, and then Bailey banged Judd’s ex. So there’s that.

“You exert too much mental energy on that guy,” Tanner informs Judd. Tanner’s a psych major, so he’s constantly dishing out (pretty good) advice that everyone mostly ignores. “Holding onto anger isn’t conducive to robust mental health.”

“First of all, say the word robust one more time and I’ll clock you. You know how I feel about that, bro.” Indignation flashes in Judd eyes. “And second of all, Luke Bailey screwed my girlfriend! I’m never not gonna be angry at that prick.”

“Ex-girlfriend,” I hedge, but it earns me a deep scowl from Judd. The two of us are teammates, and I do feel loyalty to him, but I’m also not afraid to call it like it is. “You and Therese were broken up for months.”

“Me and Therese are never broken up. Sure, we take short breaks, a hiatus or two. But she’s my girl,” Judd says tightly. “Everybody knows that.”

“Bailey says he didn’t,” Tanner says.

“That’s bullshit. He’s a liar. And now he’s trying to screw K over!” Judd growls. “He joined the presidential race to get back at me. I just know it.”

“You think?” Tanner looks skeptical. “Because that would be sociopathic lengths to go to just to spite you.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a chuckle. “Bailey’s a prick, but I can’t see him taking on the huge responsibility of running a fraternity just to flip you the metaphorical bird.” Although if I’m being honest, I don’t know why Luke Bailey is running for prez. The guy hasn’t shown much interest in frat activities since he joined us.

“He totally would,” Judd argues.

“Hey, we got class now,” Tanner reminds our sulking buddy. “We should book it over there.”

“Fine.” Judd scrapes his chair back and gets to his feet. His cloudy gaze meets mine again. “I’m serious, man. Bailey is bad news, and we need to kick his ass in this campaign. There’s no way I’m letting him be our president.”

“Don’t worry. He won’t be.”

Once my friends are gone, I let out a tired sigh. I don’t particularly care about Judd’s beef with Bailey at the moment. I have a football game to win, a campaign to plan, and a father to impress.

And a girlfriend to please.

I go up to the counter to get a refill, then settle in my cozy corner of the coffeehouse and open the app I downloaded last night. I hadn’t lied to Annika earlier—her birthday request is in the forefront of my mind. I just need to do some investigating first.

Welcome to Kink!

Add a profile pic.

Add bio.

I’d wanted to fill all this out last night, but my frat brothers suckered me into an epic session of Red Dead Redemption that lasted till three a.m. Now I quickly scroll through the camera roll on my phone until I find a suitable one. It’s of Annika and me, taken in Easthampton last summer. She looks smokin’ hot in a teeny string bikini, and my abs are looking tight, if I do say so myself. I crop out our faces and load the photo.

I skip the bio for now, because I’m feeling impatient. I want to see what this app has to offer more than I want to break my brain thinking of one hundred and forty-five characters to describe how my girlfriend wants to bang two men at the same time.

Actually, that’s pretty much the gist of it.

Still, I’m curious to check out the goods. Kink is more hookup app than dating app, and I’m pleased to discover it lets you search for users who’ve expressed interest in certain arrangements.

I click on the threesome box in the search section. There are an eye-opening number of options, combinations that hadn’t even occurred to me. Annika wants another guy, though, so I ponder the easiest combos.

m/f/m

m/m/f

My finger hovers over the m/f/m button. The other option means the men are allowed to touch, I think. It’s the moment of truth. Some guys would hate this idea. I don’t, though. I’m a scientist. Experimenting is what I do.

I even dreamt about sex with men once. Or twice. I never mentioned that to Annika. But why would I? I’ve also dreamt of meeting a dragon who smoked clove cigarettes. The things my brain invents while I’m sleeping aren’t newsworthy.

But I’d be lying if I said that Annika’s shocking birthday request turns me off. I’ll try anything once. And the app lets you click as many boxes as you want. So after looking over my shoulder once more just to make sure nobody I know is watching, I tap both options and usher in the possibility of taking a walk on the wild side.

The threesome has to be with a stranger, though. I’m certain that any one of my frat brothers would be down to help me give my girl a night to remember. Well, except Dan, who’s only down for dudes. And, well, Bailey, who thinks I’m an ass. I think he’s an ass, too, so I guess we’re even.

But I can’t do this with someone I know. What if the whole night is awkward as fuck? If it’s a brother, I’ll still have to live with him. If it’s a teammate, I’ll still have to see him in the locker room.

And then there’s the opposite scenario. What if it’s not awkward as fuck? What if I like it a whole lot?

Yeah, I don’t want my buddies judging me. A stranger for the win, then.

I lean back in my chair and start swiping.

from WordPress https://joycemerces.wordpress.com/2019/04/30/excerpt-top-secret-by-sarina-bowen-and-elle-kennedy/

"Hello? HELLO?!" Are Your Phone Skills In Line?

I am on the phone every day of my life, most of us are. We send messages and receive messages and often we don't think about the power of a well-thought-out message or a well-spoken reply to a message.

I have been greatly disappointed by the quality of the phone messages I hear and the messages I receive. It is time to improve the way we communicate on the phone. I want you to make a great impression on the phone and I have some tips for helping you do that.

I also started thinking about how much money agents lose with less than stellar phone communications. Let's talk about some of my own pet peeves about doing business over the phone.

Greetings that Don't Communicate Professionalism.

First, a pop quiz. What's the best way to answer the phone?

"Hi."

"Good morning."

"Good morning. This is Denise. How may I help you?"

While we're all answering #3, you would be shocked, stunned, and surprised to hear how some people answer the phone—with none of the above.

How do YOU answer your telephone?  Is your greeting welcoming?  Does it let the caller immediately know they are dealing with a true professional?

For example, in our office, we answer the phone, "Good morning, The Lones Group. Denise speaking. How may I help you?"

This allows the caller to know that they've reached the right company and the name of a helpful person who works there.

Poorly Communicated Outgoing Calls

What about when you make outgoing calls?  When you call somebody and they answer the phone, how do you begin your request for what you want?

I am constantly stunned at just how bad people's outgoing phone etiquette is. I hear people all the time call our office and say, "Hi, oh, uh, is this The Lones Group?"

This caller is not listening. We've already identified ourselves as The Lones Group in the greeting. This caller is not focusing on their telephone call. When you make a call, listen!

Constant fumbling when you're on a telephone call drives people absolutely crazy. When you make a call, identify yourself!

When I call someone, I say something like, "Hi, this is Denise Lones. I'm calling for Mary Smith."

Note I do NOT just call and say, "Hi, is Mary Smith in?" The reason I don't do this is because 99% of people are going to come right back and ask, "Who's calling please?" You may as well answer the question before it's asked and save time.

Not Slowing Down

Have you ever asked someone for a telephone number and they rattle it off so fast that you have to ask them a second time? Then, they do it again. You may even have to ask a third time.

Please, please slow down when you're on the phone. Not everyone can listen at the speed at which you speak.

Bad Phone Messages

This is another huge pet peeve of mine. I cannot tell you the number of messages I get that say this:

"Hi Denise, it's John speaking. Give me a call back. Bye."

First, always leave a number. I may be on the road when I get the message and don't have your telephone number.

Second, be clear as to how important this call is. When I place a call to someone and it's not time-sensitive, I will say:

"Hi, this is Denise calling. John, I'm calling to find out _____. Don't worry about calling me back today. The deadline isn't until Friday. My number is 360-527-8904. Thanks!"

If it is time-sensitive, I will say:

"Hi, this is Denise calling. John, I'm calling to find out _____. The deadline is later today, so I'd appreciate a call back as soon as you can. My number is 360-527-8904. Thanks!"

Bad Greeting Messages

Have you listened to yourself lately? Pick up the phone right now and dial your voicemail. What do you hear?

Believe it or not, I hear greeting messages like this all the time:

"Hi, obviously I'm not here. Leave a message. Bye."

Is that professional? No. Is that the right image you want to create for your business? No.

A message should be complete. You're running a professional business, so your greeting should reflect that.

It should tell them when you're going to get back to them. If you're off and can't return their call until you're back, they need to know that as well.

Your greeting may sound like this:

"You have reached Denise Lones' phone. Thanks for your call. It is Monday afternoon. I will not be returning calls until Tuesday morning. Please leave a message and I will get back to you first thing Tuesday."

That's a complete message. It tells you that the message has been recently recorded. This communicates loud and clear that my business—and your call—is important to me.

Cryptic messages don't work.

Lack of Tone and Energy

There's nothing worse on the phone than a voice that subtly communicates boredom or annoyance. On the flipside, I can tell a lot about people from their voicemails—their energy, their confidence, their professionalism.

I've literally hired people from the sound of their voicemail. If you have a blah voicemail, then you're not going to impress me. Put some pep and energy in your voice.  Smile when you speak.

About six months ago, I walked into a real estate office and the office manager said to me, "Denise, I've always remembered you because of what you say when you call my office."

What she was referring to is the way I would always say, "Good morning Mary. This is Denise Lones."  I always said this with pep and energy in my voice, and I ALWAYS use their name before mine.

And finally the NUMBER 1 mistake agents make with the phone. They DO NOT return phone calls in a timely manner. I could write a book on this one! Return your calls promptly.

That's how to be remembered.

Starting today, pay closer attention to how you answer the phone, how you leave a message, the tone of your voice, and how you ask for people. Phone etiquette communicates who you are.

It is the first impression people will get from you. Make it a good one.

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By Denise Lones CSP, M.I.R.M., CDEI - The founding partner of The Lones Group, Denise Lones, brings nearly three decades of experience in the real estate industry. With agent/broker coaching, expertise in branding, lead generation, strategic marketing, business analysis, new home project planning, product development, Denise is nationally recognized as the source for all things real estate. With a passion for improvement, Denise has helped thousands of real estate agents, brokers, and managers build their business to unprecedented levels of success, while helping them maintain balance and quality of life.