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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 3 years

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Being Exiled with Tommy Headcannons!|| 🥀

irl/ in-game

Genre| angst + comfort

h e a d c a n n o n s||

Sypnosis|

Both you and Tommy ended up getting exiled together.

Artist| OliverSonder on twitter!!

Warnings] mentions of manipulation, character death, spoilers for Tommy’s Exile Arc and the Season 2 finale!!

[can be seen as both platonic or romantic!!]

||gender neutral reader!!||

(also this was not grammar checked and im to lazy to watch through hours of footage so if anything in here is wrong blame it on the DSMP Wiki OKAY LETS GO-)

So i think its pretty established that if you end up getting exiled with Tommy your one of two things.

- Really sweet and loyal friend that will stick up for in-justice and be there when someone needs you the most

- A total fucking gremlin that will steal your kneecaps and toes and eat your shower curtains in the middle of the night.

There is no inbetween here you guys.

I did end up going for Reader A, though. But you guys tell me if you want headcannons for a gremlin!reader because i will gladly do that!!

But anyways just... enjoy exile!

Exile|

- It was about his third day in exile when Y/N appeared through the nether portal, bags, pouches, tools, armor, etc. on their person. Tommy thought they either were here to beat him up or got exiled themselves.

- Tommy was pleasantly surprised when he learned that Y/N was actually there on their own accord, helping him through exile and being his shoulder to lean on. The first few days we’re rough, fighting back mobs in the night and farming crops all day. His clothes we’re starting to get dirty and torn by the time Y/N got there.

- Y/N ended up making a little bunker about 30 blocks from where they’re tent was, where they hid all theirs and Tommy’s valuables, such as armor, diamonds & iron, and rations. Although Y/N never gave into Dream and gave him they’re stuff, Y/N simply refused, they wouldn’t be giving in that easily.

- Most of they’re days are spent in caves mining away, chatting and fighting off Creeper’s as they tried to keep the moral high, always keeping Tommy company. Y/N never let him go anywhere alone, they we’re always with him, like his own bodyguard of sorts.

- One time they both find a Mineshaft though and got lost, they ended up at the surface two dayd later with torn clothes, cuts and bruises and we’re in bad shape. Thankfully Y/N had a brewing stand at they’re camp though, so Healing Potions we’re semi-easy to make/get.

- After the duo end up going to the artic though... things got... weird.

- Techno was not expecting to open his door to find the heathen Tommy and sweetheart Y/N at his doorstep shivering and begging to come inside, bags thrown on they’re shoulders as they teeth chattered from the cold wind and snow.

- Whenever Dream comes to visit Y/N always has to hide with Tommy, reassuring him that its okay and they’ll always be there for him, and protect him at any cost, which he highly appreciates.

- The ‘gapple-eating’ thing Tommy did was a cute, yet depressing thing. Seeing him hasitly munching on golden-coated apples was funny and caused giggles, but the meaning behind it always left Y/N with a lump in their throat and a hole in their heart.

- Whenever Tommy is in danger and calls for Dream, Y/N always has to stop him and bring him back to reality, making Tommy realize Dream isnt his friend, and never was. Many nights have happened where the two talk about Tommy’s feelings with Dream, not only for Tommy to vent and let everything out, but also for Y/N to understand whats going on in his head.

- When going into the Nether Tommy always grips Y/N’s hand, as his fear of lava and heights consumes him whole in that firey dimension.

- When Tommy gets up close to Dream in the cabin? Y/N is scared spineless, if people could see them, they’d see the palest, most terrified and worried being on earth.

- Y/N having a heart attack when Ghostbur slips up

- Ghostbur is just a whole thing and just. Y/N needs a break, okay?

- Y/N begrudgingly helping Tommy build his cobblestone tower outside of Techno’s cabin.

- Y/N apologizing soon after to Techno only for him to laugh and ruffle Y/N’s hair, saying he knows how Tommy can get anyone to any situation.

- Very rarely does Y/N ever leave Tommy’s side, when they do its usually to get supplies or visit they’re friends. So when Y/N was walking back to the Nether portal to see Tommy, Techno and Dream all standing there, looking like they’re about to slit the others throat, well...

- Nobody has ever seen Y/N drop kick a person so fast.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Y/N yelled, they’re sword at Dream’s neck, as he laid on his back, his mask covering his shocked expression.

“Answer. Me.” Y/N gritted through their teeth, pushing their swordfurther against the masked mans throat. Techno soon chimed in, reassuring Y/N that nothing to terrible happened.

“It’s fine, Y/N. He didn’t do anything, why not we head back home? Wouldn’t want that homeless man to be to scared spineless, eh?” Techno said, hand on they’re shoulder as he looked Y/N in the eyes.

The 3 walked back to the Nether portal, purple mist engulfing Tommy and Techno as Y/N stood in front of the portal. Back turned towards Dream, Y/N shifted they’re head and glared at Dream with eyes that could kill.

“Don’t do anything you might regret, you megalomaniac.”

- When Tommy and Tubbo decide to go fight Dream, Y/N is both excited and scared. They hope Dream will finally be taken down, but they dont want Tommy (& Tubbo) to be taken down as well.

- So like any amazing best friend, Y/N brews up a bunch of potions of Strength, Healing + Regen, Invisibility and more. Even if Tommy thought he was going to be walking out of there alone, he wasn’t going to be. Y/N would make sure.

- Y/N watched from afar as Tommy got his disc out of the jukebox, laughing in success. All Y/N did was clap quietly, making sure they’re Invisibility didn’t wear off. They we’re making sure Tommy stayed safe, even if he didn’t realize it. Y/N loved him with they’re whole heart, and everyone knew that.

- At Dreams secret base, Y/N was just getting there as Tommy took Dreams first canon life.

“Tommy. Stop. Dont do anything you might regret.” Dream snarled, looking at the teenage boy, his blue eyes dull, yet full of passion and vigor.

All Tommy did was pursue forward, as everyone waited for what was to come. Tommy took one step to close though, because Dream had decided that he had enough.

Dream brought his arm into the air, hand curled into a fist, he was about to hurl his hand into Tommy’s face when Dream suddenly fell to the ground, arrow in his forehead.

Dream was shot by Y/N

Y/N stood there, enchanted bow in hand, infront of the nether portal that swirled with an eerie purple mist. Y/N lowered their bow, staring at the man who tortured Tommy for weeks now. Y/N simply stepped forward and towered over Dreams corpse before it disappeared in thin air.

Lets just say Dream wouldn’t be hurting the blonde heathen anytime soon.

a/n: howdy everyone how we doing? Decided to do Tommy x Reader for this post, although i am MAJORLY simping for Wilbur atm and i have brainrot so that’ll most likely be the next post (if i dont do a pt. 2 for this one but even so WILBUR).

Anyways i hope i did racooninnit justice, i have no idea how to do headcannons since half the time i ramble (its the adhd) so this was new for me. Definitely not my strong suit but like you live ya learn. Also, sorry if i left out quite a lot, i might make a fic about this and include more events, but this is really long for headcannons (because of my layout) so i didn’t include to much. I dont want people scrolling for like 20 seconds to go to another post (i write on mobile so undercut is not a thing for me RIP)

Anyways have a lovely day and dont let Tommy eat all your gapples!!

#tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit fanfic #tommy x reader #tommy imagine #tommy fanfic #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #dream smp imagine #dream smp fanfiction #dreamer posts ♠️

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goldenpixel · 3 years

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Some quick tips for people who write fics and want to write about their characters smoking weed but don’t know anything about it

I’ve never heard anyone irl say “weed cigs” “cigs” or anything like that

The white cigarette shaped ones are called joints, the brown ones are blunts (blunts hit harder than joints do, this is because they are rolled in tobacco papers - same kind as cigars. If your character doesn’t smoke much/at all, a blunt could potentially make them cough so hard they throw up (I’ve seen this happen several times and it almost happened to me the first time I hit a blunt) this is also because most people also don’t have experience smoking tobacco, and that stuff still makes me sick sometimes)

If it’s a small glass thing, then it’s a pipe and it’s called “smoking a bowl” (the “bowl” is the part of the pipe where the weed goes in). Pipes are the really pretty ones that glass blowers make that have super cool designs and colors, stoners are typically very proud of their pipes

If it’s glass and there’s water in it, that’s a bong. Hit a bong wrong or hit it too many times, and your character can get something called “bong burps.” These aren’t pleasant, they’re basically just burps that taste like weed and bong water, and trust me, that’s not a good taste

If it’s a sticky, dark honey type thing, that’s wax, and you smoke it with a dab pen or a dab rig using a blowtorch to heat up the end of the pen or rig, and lightly touching the hot end to the wax and inhaling (these are also called dabs)(a ton of stoners have burn scars from handling blowtorches high)

Joint and pipes are, in my experience, the most common way to smoke weed. And dabs and pipes are the easiest to smoke in terms of how much they’re gonna hurt your character’s throat and lungs

The absolute easiest way to smoke is to shotgun (this is great for steamy fics). Shotgunning is when one person takes a hit, and then blows the smoke into the other person’s mouth. I’ve seen this done platonically and romantically (this is actually how I had my first kiss)

Weed makes people horny. More so girls than boys, but guys get horny too. Every girl I’ve ever talked to has been horny at least 90% of the times they’ve been high. And I’m not talking like in-the-back-of-your-mind horny, I’m talking like if you get high enough, girls will literally be sitting there dripping and guys will be hard as rocks, without having done or thought about anything to make them that way (again, this is much less common with guys, but it definitely happens). Not to mention weed makes you wayyyy more perceptive to touch, so the smallest touch to your thigh and you’re done for, girls and guys alike

If your character is taking edibles, they can take anywhere from 30 minutes to up to 2-3 hours to kick in (much much faster if taken on an empty stomach) and the dosage/amount taken will also determine how hard it hits (again, much much harder if taken on an empty stomach)

Edibles can knock out even the most frequent stoners, especially if taken on an empty stomach. For example, this past 4/20, my friend and I (who both smoke pretty much everyday for years now), took edibles on empty stomachs, and they knocked us on our asses so hard that we didn’t get off the couch for like 7 hours

And if you wanna be really fancy and have your experienced stoner characters tell your inexperienced character exactly what they’re doing, the two types of weed are called Indica and Sativa. Indica knocks you down, and Sativa hypes you up, this can be easily remembered with the saying “Indica: in-da-couch” (take a guess at what type those edibles I mentioned were). Most people smoke hybrids of the two, so they’re not totally knocked down or hyped up. And there are thousands of “strains” that have weird names like “morning mimosa” and “white yoda,” these are the different variations of hybrids that have been selectively bred and grown to be the exact percentage of indica/sativa, a lot of people have favorite strains

The end of a joint or a blunt after it’s been completely smoked is called a “roach”

The smell of weed may be strong, but it doesn’t cling like cigarette smoke does. A quick 15 minute drive with all the windows down will almost completely get rid of the smell in a hotboxed car

If your character could potentially be caught because of the smell, many stoners rub themselves down with dryer sheets to get rid of the smell (hair included)

You can smell a little bit of weed on someone’s breath, stoners with the potential to get caught chew a lot of gum

Depending on how much you smoked, how much you had eaten that day, and how high your tolerance is, people usually come down from a high after 4-8 hours (potentially longer if they smoked a lot and had no tolerance)

You can wake up still high, it’s a disorientating experience

Every stoner I know has a favorite lighter, this is the one they keep on them at all times. They’ve also got 1-2 car lighters, a nightstand/desk lighter, and a backpack lighter

Not everyone’s eyes get super red, it kinda just depends on the person. Most people’s eyes get red, but if they smoke daily, they probably don’t anymore

Weed can make you super cold (also really nice for fluffy or steamy fics), this leads to a lot of cuddling, because stoner friend groups rarely have things like personal boundaries lmao

Idk about other groups, but my group regularly jokes that we all make out every night, because we’re always passing a pipe or a joint or a blunt around

In that same vein, if one person in the group gets sick, everyone gets sick - side effect of all putting your mouths on the same thing. Sometimes this leads to sick smoke seshes, where you put on a good movie and all sit and smoke and be miserable together

Smoking in the morning right after waking up is called a “wake and bake” (most people say this quickly and it sounds more like “waken bake”)

Most people don’t really say “high” all that much, instead there’s a ton of slang words that mean the same thing like “baked” “zooted” “faded” “gone” “smacked” and if they’re both drunk and high, then the slang would be “twisted” “cross-faded” or “crossed”

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flowers-in-your-dustbin · 6 years

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Do ‘em all

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I think physical attraction is a contributing factor just as much as anything else is, it’s not the most important but I think anyone’s lying if they say looks don’t play at least some part.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely. Which even I’m surprised I’m now saying haha.

3. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Yes!

5. Are you in love?

Very much so.

6. Are you single this year?

Nope!

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can indeed.

8. Describe your crush

The most gorgeous, beautiful, meme-queen and emo you ever did see. Luckily for me she ain’t a crush, she’s more than that and mine

9. Describe your perfect mate

I just did.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Maybe not ‘love’ but a definite powerful connection of such, without sounding too cringe.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

It’d be nice someday.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends on the betrayal. Probably could pretend to on the surface, but not so forgiving underneath.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Not as easily as I thought I would, I joke that I am more often than I actually really am haha.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I fancy my girlfriend very much so xo

15. Do you have any piercings?

Just the lobes but they’re closed up now practically now haha

16. Do you have any tattoos?

I do, just the one but many many more I hope.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Depends where the in public place is, not constantly but the occasional is pretty adorable

20. Do you shower every day?

Yeah

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I hope considering she said she did over 9 months ago!

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I’d like to think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Already have lmao, wouldn’t dream of cheating.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Could be nice! Engaged at least

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yeah!

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Indeed they have

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yeah lol

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I’m aware of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Not my style thanks

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Nah, but liposuction could be good hahah would never actually do it tho

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Oh yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

I think!

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

nope nope, gold star bitches :)

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yeah!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yep!

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

‘Disliked’ may be a better term, if I can use that then yes haha

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Haha yeah

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yasssss

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Nope, my writing skills aren’t that impressive

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yea boi

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Right, we timed this before and my gal’s hands wander first but I also have the hormones of a teenage boy so probs 0.5 seconds at the right kinda time if you catch my drift

43. How long was your longest relationship?

this one now! so nearly 10 months and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

technically my gal now is my first girlfriend, was very close to another (unfortunately) but too closeted to want to go further. Had a couple of ‘talking to’ people that never got official too.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

046. How many times did you have sex last year?

can’t count lol

47. How old are you?

Eighteen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Whatever floats your goat, you do you… etc…

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her personality/cheekiness

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

My girlfriend is my first true love so I’d be like wtf are you apologising for get in here NOW!

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Just the one yeah x

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A fair few, there’s only so many times you can get taken advantage of until you run.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Who knows?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

55. Share a relationship story.

Mine and my girlfriend’s ‘song’ is quite a lil’ indie one, so I went and found whether I could buy the single. Couldn’t find it anywhere, but when I did it said it may be sold out… I emailed and they had TWO left! I bought them both of course, what a coincidence. I hope to get mine framed for us one day for in our house lol

56. State 8 facts about your body

1: phat

2: not as phat as previous

3: scars

4: innie

5: blonde hair

6: blue eyes

7: second degree burns have left pretty permanent tan lines for the past year

8: bruises

57. Things you want to say to an ex

blocked.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. thoughtfulness, 2. creativity, 3. make me laugh, 4. fooooood, 5. make me feel appreciated

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

look at my pp cba

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

like a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

their taste in memes/vines ;) jks, their eyes

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

dunno if I can write this as I have irl mutuals here hahah so I’ll keep that a secret

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

hand stuff, mouth stuff, gay stuff

64. What is your definition of cheating?

kissing/fucking/anything with romantic intent not for the person you’re with

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

routine is pointless, spice it up

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

the role-play where we don’t role-play lmao cringe

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

anything involving exploring, adventuring, good/deep conversation etc.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

the biggest lesbian you ever did see

69. What turns you off?

ignorance

70. What turns you on?

starts with ‘girl’ ends with ‘friend’

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

lol can’t relate I have night terrors instead of those clearly

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

my name ;) amongst ‘fuck’

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

continue to look after me and tolerate me haha

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

brunette

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

oh god there’s so many contenders all from one (the best) gal, some include surprising me at work/college as well as getting me a bear and spraying it with her perfume, there’s so many more tho wow

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

probs surprising my baby on her birthday at midnight with flowers (on a SCHOOL NIGHT!?!?)

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

as long as its legal and not nonce-y it’s got the all clear from me

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

can’t put that on here sorry hah

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

nothing really jumps out, not sure

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

today

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

1. my gal, 2. ruby rose, 3. Lynn gunn, 4. Frances bean Cobain, 5. Hannah Hart (always have always will leave me alone)

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my girlfriend I think

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my girlfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

not that we were together but I multitude of reasons

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I kind of am! she slid into the DMs (cringe-ing at myself)

#asks

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simemie · 6 years

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Seasons Tag

Tagged by @lyoufln :)

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

1. which season are you going to play with first? Whatever order they default to I guess. Or if I have to choose, spring because that’s what I consider the first season. I want to play them all eventually, no point in rushing and just playing one until I’m sick of it. 2. from what you’ve seen in the trailer, what are you most excited about? I don’t know, I guess I’m just looking forward to finding out more information at the moment. Will be cool to have new things to do with my sims. 3. what’s your favourite season irl? Whatever one I’m not currently in. 4. what’s your favourite flower/plant? I don’t really have one, I don’t know anything about flowers or plants so I don’t have a favourite. 5. are you going to create a new sim/family or are you going to keep your current household? Assuming it doesn’t break like it did with cats and dogs, I’ll keep playing the Cluiche save. 6. what would you like to see in this new add-on that we haven’t seen yet? I’m intrigued about this whole creating your own holidays feature and I hope it’ll be like the clubs in get together in that there’s a lot you can do with it. Also curious about the calendar. 7. how do you feel about not having a new neighbourhood? Disappointed because I would’ve liked one and I’m not confident yet that the other features will make up for it but it’s not the end of the world and I’d like to see what else the pack has to offer before passing too much judgement. 8. snow, rain, sun or wind? In real life? Sun with a light breeze. 9. favourite refreshing drink in summer? Pepsi max, though I drink that all year round. 10. favourite hot drink in winter? White hot chocolate. 11. walk through the forest or by the beach? The beach, too many bugs in the forest. 12. swimming pool or ocean? I haven’t gone swimming in probably about ten years, but swimming pool. 13. where would you like to travel if you could leave right now for a week? Literally anywhere. Somewhere hidden where I wouldn’t be found for a while. Maybe the woods near my childhood home, or the bottom of the local canal or something. 14. how is the weather today? Probably sunny, it’s kind of warm but not too hot. I haven’t opened my curtains yet. 15. what new traits would you like to see in the new add-on? Whatever, I just want traits that actually add to a sims personality and have a purpose. 16. do you like to play with supernatural creatures like vampires and aliens? and if so, would you like to have witches/fairies/elves? Not really, I prefer playing realistically. But of course I want the supernatural players to get more content too. 17. what is your favourite thing to do during winter? I like walking in the dark when it’s not actually late and spending time with my family on Christmas day. 18. ...during spring? The weather is usually pretty nice in spring. 19. ...during summer? Having people around. My mum works in a school so she gets quite a long holiday in the summer and it’s nice to have her home and spend time with her. 20. ...during autumn? I don't know, autumn is never good. 21. have you already pre-ordered seasons? and if you haven’t, are you going to pre-order it or wait until it comes out? I learned my lesson about pre-ordering with cats and dogs and city living. I pre-ordered both of them and didn’t play city living for like a month because I found the glitch where sims mouths wouldn’t move with their talking too annoying, and I pre-ordered cats and dogs and had to abandon my legacy and start a new save game because it wouldn’t work with the old one. Unlike some other games there is literally no incentive to pre-order sims games so I’m not going to any more. 22. in which neighbourhood are you going to play first with seasons? Willow Creek, because I’ll get it at the end of a round of rotational play and Rose (who lives in Willow Creek) is first in each rotation. 23. do you listen to music while playing? and if so, what are your favourite songs to play to? I don’t listen to music while playing. 24. what’s your favourite thing to do in the sims? creating sims, building, etc? Honestly my favourite thing is probably posting on this blog. I like playing families, building a family tree and seeing the genetics of sims and I like building sometimes but I have to be in the mood for it. When building I like trying to recreate buildings from other games rather than trying to come up with something from scratch. 25. what’s your favourite kit/pack/add-on? My favourite EP is probably cats and dogs, just because I’m a sucker for animals even though it wasn’t anything groundbreaking. Favourite GP would be parenthood and favourite SP is toddler stuff for the CAS items, though I struggled to find much use for the build/buy items (other than the little slide, that’s cute). 26. and finally, what add-on/pack would you like to see next? Maybe university/college for a paid pack. But the main thing I want is more stairs, which I wouldn’t want to pay for and would want patched in. Tagging anyone and everyone.

#simblr #tag

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kakihoden · 7 years

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(/ω＼)ﾟ.+(〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ.+°50 More Interesting Questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

tagged by @theempresskaizer and @incorrectmidc THANK YOUUU <3

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: FISH, especially Fried Tilapia. I dunno. I loved fish as a kid, but now just the smell of it makes my stomach churn. Oh, and broccoli. GDI the first time I tasted it was traumatic :’D

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: losing my pencils -- for a person who draws often losing these babies is kinda ironic, isn’t it?

3. Have you got any useless talents?: Uhm.... I can sleep anywhere. LOL

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: drawing.it’s literally the oldest hobby i have so :/

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: real people?! okay, dumb question. i kinda view people’s faces as equal, but there are particular people who stand out. i love looking at Eva Green and Angelina Danilova. my girl crushes :v

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: doodle doodle on the wall; wait for my mama’s angry call :’D

7. What is something you’re proud of?: uhm... I dunno. I don’t dwell much on myself on a positive light, so I haven’t really thought of the things I should be proud of. Unless it means something else? IDK lels

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: being self-righteous, or being too self-important. I tend to act cold towards people like these cuz duuuuuhhhh. I’d rather treat you like fart than say mean things cuz people like these aren’t really worth getting work up over.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: Back when I was a youthful optimistic fellow, I have, indeed proven myself able to be a leader, but now I just wanna be a follower. Energy-saving mode on unnecessary things :D

10. What kind of student are/were you?: When I was in high school, I was the overrated student. And it sucked because teachers placed high expectations against my will when in fact I am the lazy student who relies on stock knowledge to get through school life :v

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?:Yes.*blushes*

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: I used to run away at the speed of light at the sight of anything worm-like. >___<. I once accidentally touched a worm and it felt cold and slimy it was disgusting I literally threw a fit (LOL), but now I can tolerate them. Just... stay away within a one-meter radius D:

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: a looottt.

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I don’t drink alcoholic beverages to the point where I get wasted. But let me tell you a story: when I was a kid, Mom gave me a quarter kilo of grapes. I finished it in one sitting, but I got drunk so I hit my head on the door knob when I tried to stand up. I wonder what kind of drunk I am now? AT PARTIES? NOOO... I just stay at corners and try to avoid having to party. It’s not the party that’s bad, it’s the socializing. :’D

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: I fall in love with 2d men easily. And yes, it takes quite some time for me to trust someone nowadays, cuz I learned my lesson the hard way.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: just one close friend is enough. I get tired of people quite easily.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: *glances around my work area* Yep. I’m a slob alright. But that’s only when I’m too busy on something. Otherwise, you’ll often see me arranging my stuff here and there.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: a view of the sunset in a large window from a high place. and where a contrast of temperature is at its best <3

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I’m not that fond of kids because the kids in my neighborhood are brutal. They call me pancit canton (instant noodle) because of my hair :’’’’’’’’’D (I’m a 23-year-old bullied by 5-year-old kids)

20. What was your favorite book as a child?: I didn’t like reading, believe me. I learned to read quickly because I wanted to get away from books as fast as possible. LOL

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: uhm... mobile legends and despacito :x srsly what are those

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: what is. IDK... ಠ_ರೃ

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: I’d be with Hitsugaya Toushiro! (then will secretly glue us together again before one month ends LOLOLOLOL) Taichou! <3

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: I want to travel a lot to old places. Ah... it’s a life-long dream :3

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: I’m a peace-loving person, and I’m weak at arguments so I keep my mouth shut and let my brain become noisy until my thoughts settle down instead of speaking up.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: I live in a cave -- what even is the latest fad today

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: I was low-key emo back then but it only manifested in my music preference because I was keeping up a good school image. Now when I look back at that “shiny and brilliant student” facade I wanted to smack my younger self in the head (btw, my music preference never changed).

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: Bravery. It can take you far if you have it. I admire brave people.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): I don’t receive gifts anymore (too bad, will you give me a gift? XD) but my godmother often gave me dresses and clothes, and blue items cuz she knew blue was my favorite :3

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: I speak Filipino, English and not that fluent at Japanese (and currently taking a crash course at Bahasa Indonesia)

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: I’d choose countryside in a heartbeat!

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: none in particular.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: I do not like too much attention. I do appreciate it when someone notices me but if I get too much of that, it wears me out.

34. Favorite holiday?: Christmas!

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: there are days when I just go with the flow, but when the situation calls for it, I spend a night planning my days, especially trips. Yup.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.): Final Fantasy Advent Children. I’d love to experience that doki-doki when I see Cloud in action <3 and my nightly walks back at the province. The moon-lit road home, the fireflies, the silence, the nature -- I’d love to go back there and spend a good vacation. Plus the residents are really friendly

37. What hobbies do you have?: Drawing, procrastinating, sleeping, procrastinating, reading manga, and did I mention procrastinating?

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: what even -- then it’s not called superpower anymore, but rather just “power” LOLOLOL. I wish I could shut down my nose when someone farts XD

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: that I’m not actually intimidating and that I am indeed Filipina.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: how to answer this. also, still trying to figure out how I’ll dissect my building. -_-

41. Worst injury you’ve had?: I fell down the stairs when I was a kid and it damaged my knees. Now both knees hurt during the cold season.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: I like drawing gore?

43. Describe your sense of humor: dark! as a result of my depression, my jokes tend to be categorized as black comedy LOL. Also perv. :v

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I wish I was born in Japan, or renaissance England (^◇^；)

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: time management (/ω＼)

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: College. Why the hell did I have to pick Architecture major of all things? But I learned a few things so okay.

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): ugly tattoo. I don’t like having stuff on my face

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: I’m a pessimist irl. I’m actually a depressing human being hiding behind my drawings online ﾟ.+(〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ.+°

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: that I’ve inspired them. Ah truly a ray of light in this dark depressing life of mine (￣∇￣) .+°

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: my silence. me being silent to them often means I’m mad, or brooding, or being a bitch. LOL NO. that’s just my face ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

tagging! @emigotchi @confused-tofu @rimalupin @arimii @pumpkingamelodge @spyroeden @midnightuglystepsister @midnightcindy @kseifert @oh-my-otome and you!

#tagging game #been so long since I last did one #others #personal

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boardwalk-absurdist · 5 years

Note

All the numbers! 😊

Aaahhh thank you~ I haven’t done one of these in forever but I love them, so let’s go (under the cut)!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs~ I have one standard reliable water bottle that I carry with me, but I love me a clever/cute coffee mug.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars, natch.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy~

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Usually stuff like energetic, bubbly, and smart. They used to say gifted but around 4th grade they weren’t allowed to say that anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? None of the above, I don’t drink soda. The bubbles hurt my tongue.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh man this is an eternal struggle tbh. I think I usually dress a bit more grunge or boho, but I want to be pastel and goth as well? The others I could take or leave.

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, as long as they aren’t those Skullcandy kind with the squishy part that you jam in your ear canal. I hate those.

8. movies or tv shows? Depends on my mood and how much time I have.

9. favorite smell in the summer? This may be weird, but like…sun sweat? You know when you’re laying out comfortably in the sunshine and there’s a nice breeze and you sweat a lil but it’s like just warm? Also the ocean, I love the beach but I live nowhere near one.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Uh, avoid competitive people as much as possible by running in the opposite direction from the ball? Walk laps rather than play the game? I did not like gym class.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Nothin’. Sometimes I’ll have a donut or poptarts or pain au chocolat but usually it’s a lotta nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? “Players musicals”, a spotify playlist with songs from the 4 musicals my college theatre group did while I was there. Or on my iTunes, I have one called “Power Up” that is all my pump-up jams.

13. lanyard or key ring? …both? I have a keyring on my lanyard.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Ooh, the Haribo gummy frogs. With like the white part on the bottom? Idk what that shit is but I love it.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I know it’s a play but we did read it, and I loved it. Alternatively, maybe Brave New World? I found that one fascinating.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Curled up sideways in an armchair or with my legs thrown over one arm and my back against the other.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? In the summer, I always pick one pair of sandals with a fun pattern so I get cool tan lines on my feet. Otherwise, Merrell Mocs 5evr.

18. ideal weather? Sunny and dry, maybe with a light breeze, and in the mid- to high-70s. Either that or clear, sunny, and between 15 and -15 for like a perfectly brisk day.

19. sleeping position? I usually sleep on my side with my top leg flung out so I’m like half on my stomach. But I can’t actually sleep on my stomach cuz I have titties and they are Not Comfortable.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Literally anywhere and on anything. I doodle and write on p much any surface I am given.

21. obsession from childhood? …uh. There were several. But I guess Jerry Lewis was the biggie/most embarrassing.

22. role model? That’s a tough one. Probably Bonnie Bassler.

23. strange habits? I eat most foods around the outside and save the center for last. Like poptarts, waffles, sandwiches… I also have a tic where whenever I have my car in neutral I jiggle the stick shift back and forth to like prove to myself that I am in neutral. I’m sure there are more that I’m unaware of that I just think are normal, so hey, if you know me irl and you know of a weird habit that I missed, send it my way.

24. favorite crystal? Idk. Does tiger’s eye count? It’s my favorite semi-precious stone.

25. first song you remember hearing? LORDT I have no idea, probably a Bruce Springsteen song.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Lay in the sunshine. Or swim outside.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Play in the snow.

28. five songs to describe you? These are more songs describing what it feels like to be me, but: “Fear and Loathing” and “Teen Idle” by Marina and the Diamonds, “I Wanna Get Better” by Bleachers, “Yo Girl” from Heathers, aaaand “Carmen” by Lana Del Rey.

29. best way to bond with you? Work on a show together.

30. places that you find sacred? Difficult to say. I guess anywhere that feels like a liminal space.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Ooh okay so I have this black cropped sleeveless hoodie that says “never trust the living” on a tombstone and has a skull, I like to pair that with some burgundy high-waisted short shorts and tights with embroidered skulls and butterflies. Then those go with my platform black and white sneakers or my 6 inch platform boots with flames on the heels.

32. top five favorite vines? rOaD wOrK aHeAd?; I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN; …wow; “little diddy”; and either happy crismus or WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably “fair enough”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? “if you needed brain surgery, would you go to a general practitioner? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL BUYING FISH FROM THE GENERAL STORE” fishtopia may finally be dead but that fucking commercial lives on

35. average time you fall asleep? Like midnight?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I can has cheezburger?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. If it’s just for a few days, duffel bag. But I prefer to travel with a suitcase for anything longer than a week.

38. lemonade or tea? Lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Uh I guess lemon cake?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Oh! One time this girl tackled this dude allegedly cuz he wouldn’t share his beef jerky. The school was put on a code yellow while the security guard separated them.

41. last person you texted? Myself, to send some gel pictures from my phone to my laptop.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets. I have shitty girl pants pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? why must you hurt me in this way. I have a denim jacket that I adore, so I guess that one? But I really appreciate the aesthetic of bomber jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? Irish Spring. am cermet

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? I guess sci-fi.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? I sleep in my underwear.

47. favorite type of cheese? Cheddar or Gruyere.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? No clue. Strawberry, maybe?

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “Once you’re in it, it’s okay.” - This is How, Augusten Burroughs Alternatively, “How unlikely! Yet here we are.” - Spaceman of Bohemia, Jaroslav Kalfar

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? An inside joke with the Brit, I think.

51. current stresses? oh the thousands

52. favorite font? Currently I’m really feeling Book Antiqua.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Uh, fine? Clean? My nails are Ready for some new polish.

54. what did you learn from your first job? How to scoop ice cream.

55. favorite fairy tale? I don’t think I have one.

56. favorite tradition? So in my family, we have a routine for putting up the tree (we have a fake tree that we use every year). My dad puts the tree together, my mom rearranges and bends the branches to make it look more realistic, my dad puts the lights on, and then my little brother and I decorate it with all the ornaments. It’s a lot of fun and my favorite part of Christmas.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? An abusive relationship, getting help for depression/anxiety, and my mom’s attempted suicide.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I’m a p good writer, a decent swimmer, I can do cross-stitch/needlepoint, and I am very good at taking tests/learning.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? “Eat an entire ass.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Slice of life goofy high school comedy. Like Ouran, or the lighter parts of Fruits Basket.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? There’s a line in @scifigrl47‘s fic “Hollow Your Bones like a Bird’s” that has really stuck with me over the years: “It is the farthest from death that I can get, to decide, second by second, not to jump.” In a similar vein, the line “I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spat it out” from the original Avengers movie really made an impression. On a funnier note, the lines “I’ve frequently not been on boats” and “One can hardly eat cucumber sandwiches in an agitated manner” from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and The Importance of Being Earnest respectively never fail to make me laugh.

62. seven characters you relate to? Lordt that is so many. Okay. Alissa Meson from the Truth series, Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place, Lee Fiora from Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket, Shiloh Wallace from Repo! The Genetic Opera, Augusten Burroughs in his memoirs (not technically a character but I relate so hard), and Bo Burnham’s stage persona (it COUNTS dammit).

63. five songs that would play in your club? “1, 2, Step” - Ciara, “Night Fever” - The BeeGees, “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” - Journey, “Chelsea Dagger” - The Fratellis, and “Damn You Look Good And I’m Drunk (Scandalous)” - Cobra Starship

64. favorite website from your childhood? Quizilla, RIP

65. any permanent scars? Several on my hands (they used to be cat scratches but I picked at them so much they scarred up), two punctures from my cat biting me on my right inner forearm, and one biggun on my left asscheek from when I fell out of a tree and had to get 6 stitches.

66. favorite flower(s)? Poppies, lavender, fireweed, and forget-me-nots.

67. good luck charms? Not really? I have jewelry that I wear every day but that’s more a habit/ritual rather than for luck.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? LORDT okay so I worked at an ice cream shop two summers in a row, right? There was this DISGUSTING cranberry stout flavor, and a p gross ginger one, plus every time someone ordered a weird milkshake we’d make a little extra so we could try some. One time someone got like a large stout (the regular, not the cranberry, which was still nasty) and pumpkin milkshake with malt. It was horrid.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes as much pressure to bite through a human finger as it does to bite through a carrot.

70. left or right handed? Rightie.

71. least favorite pattern? Uh. I guess paisley? It doesn’t really do anything for me.

72. worst subject? Organic chemistry or physics.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Oooh so nutella and honey is DELIGHTFUL if you’ve never tried it. Also those parmesan bread bites from Dominos taste real good dunked in the icing that comes with the cinnamon twists.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Like a 4 or 5.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I genuinely do not recall.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Scalloped potatoes with cheese.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? Idk I kill all my plants. I have a lil sempervivum that I’ve kept alive for a few months though~

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery store sushi.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Lmao they both are bad but I’ll say driver’s license.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Are they not the same thing? I call them fireflies.

82. pc or console? PC. I grew up without a console so I lack the intuitive understanding of their control mechanisms that most people seem to have.

83. writing or drawing? Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Barbie I guess?

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology.

86. cookies or cupcakes? …cookies.

87. your greatest fear? Disappointing people who took a chance on me.

88. your greatest wish? If I tell you, it won’t come true.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My little brother.

90. luckiest mistake? Not applying for summer internships. Instead I just talked to the one microbiology professor and she offered me a summer job in her lab and it’s because of her that I’m at the school I’m at for grad school and have experience and all that.

91. boxes or bags? Uh. Bags I guess? Easier to carry.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight.

93. nicknames? My parents call me Squirrelle. Some people call me T (my real name starts with a T).

94. favorite season? Spring, I think. It’s so nice to come back out of the cold.

95. favorite app on your phone? I guess fb messenger, I use it the most.

96. desktop background? It’s a colored collage of Jareth and Sarah from pika-la-cynique’s “Girls Next Door” massive crossover series on dA.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? I dunno, like a handful? Some are totally useless.

98. favorite historical era? Probably the 80s.

#Anonymous #carmen answers #meet the blogger #thank you!#these are so fun

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ofthewind01 · 7 years

Text

Another Tag Thing

Tagged by @hyrulehearts1123 - am I supposed to be doing things?

...Yes actually. But screw that.

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people.

1. What is your nickname?

I don’t have too many, I prefer my real name (which I’m not revealing), but I have been called Windy and Sketch a lot.

2. What is your zodiac sign?

Taurus. Whoo.

3. What is your favorite book series?

I don’t read as many books as I used to, but the original Percy Jackson is up there.

4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Not really.

5. Who is your favorite author?

Uhm...unsure. Again, I don’t read a lot. NEXT!

6. What is your current favorite song?

Ok, my favorite song pretty much changes weekly, but right now it’s a mix of Dangerous (Left Boy Remix), Two Birds and Older and Taller (Regina Specktor), Animal (Minor Key Version, Chase Holfelder), and who knows what else.

7. What is your favorite word?

Puscilanimous is a fun word. I like that one. I like many words. Too bad I can’t always speak them right.

8. What was the last song you listened to?

Closer + All Star Remix (DJ Dwibbit). I don’t even know why but it’s not bad.

9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

The Great British Baking Show. It’s just so comforting, and honestly so much calmer than American Baking shows. Just so sweet and welcoming.

10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

I spend more time on Youtube than on movies. It’s kinda sad. That and I overanalyze movies way too much. That being said, I just found an amazing movie called Ethel and Ernest and I’d highly reccomend that as a feel good (or feel bad) movie.

11. Do you play video games?

Heheheh no

12. What is your biggest fear?

Being unnoticed or unsuccessful. Or that I’m not doing enough. Or FOBO.

13. What is your best quality, in your opinion?

Uhm... I’m quiet? I’m not loud and obnoxious. Or interesting.

14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion?

I’m too quiet, and really passive. And I have a weird way of jumbling the English language.

15. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring are especially pretty.

16. Are you in a relationship?

Good question.

17. What is something you miss from your childhood?

Times where kids in the neighborhood would play outside together. Nowadays everyone is inside on their devices.

I’m not blaming them though, it’s friggin hot and humid down here in the day.

18. Who is your best friend?

I’ve got 4ish irl best friends, and some good friends all around, but I’m hoping to continue making new ones.

19. What is your eye color?

Brown.

20. What is your hair color?

Brown. I’ve got the complexion of a turd.

21. Who is someone you love?

Family and close friends

22. Who is someone you trust?

Completely? Not many people. My parents? Probably?

23. Who is someone you think about often?

Characters I’ve made. It’s dumb but I think about fictional situations a LOT.

24. Are you currently excited about/for something?

I just started concepting a new comic that I’m hoping will be a success - right now it’s got a bit more potential than my other ideas.

25. What is your biggest obsession?

Writing and art, and Youtube. All good.

26. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

I watched a lot of PBS kids as a child, we didn’t have cable. But Fetch with Ruff Ruffman was a good one I always loved.

27. Do you have any unusual phobias?

Not really? I’m not that interesting.

28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

Behind. I want to work in film after all.

29. What is your favorite hobby?

Concepting, for art and stories alike.

30. What was the last book you read?

I haven’t read a book in a while =u=‘ I can’t remember. I’m probably going to read Les Miserables soon though.

31. What was the last movie you watched?

Ethel and Ernest. Great movie. Srsly.

32. What musical instruments do you play, if any?

I played French horn for a while, I could still pull that off.

33. What is your favorite animal?

EVERYTHING, mostly cats though. And dogs.

34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

I don’t pay much attention to tumblr.

35. What superpower do you wish you had?

Flying. Or wind. Both very useful. However, the process of growing wings is awful.

Trust me I would know.

36. When and where do you feel most at peace?

The beach at night.

37. What makes you smile?

Corny puns, being in good company, cracking bad jokes.

38. What sports do you play, if any?

I was in Marching Band for 4 years - IT’S A SPORT

39. What is your favorite drink?

Sweet Tea, original or wild berry.

40. Are you afraid of heights?

If I have no protection, yes.

41. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Arrogant people who will defend a point without compromise or insight. And sudden loud noises. And little brothers. Ahem.

42. Have you ever been to a concert?

A few, nothing hugely popular though. Mostly Christian stuff... I need to get out more.

43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

An artist? I didn’t think about jobs much, but I always wanted to create.

44. What fictional world would you like to live in?

Something peaceful. Zootopia would be cool.

45. What is something you worry about?

I worry a lot ok that’s not new. What other people think of me is a big one.

46. Are you scared of the dark?

Only when alone.

47. Do you like to sing?

I’ve been in choir since kindergarden - what do YOU think?

48. Have you ever skipped school?

Nope. I was a good kid. Good and boring.

49. What is your favorite place on the planet?

Not sure, I haven’t been too many places. Florida beaches are really nice though. And so are the North GA Mountains.

And LA is especially beautiful. It’s pretty much all of that rolled into one.

50. Where would you like to live?

Big city, big opportunities. Like where I live now - ATL.

51. Do you have any pets?

A skiddish cat and a younger brother.

52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

Early bird - I’m always the first one awake at a party. But I can play with the family pets then.

53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

Sunsets. You don’t have to be up super early.

54. Do you know how to drive?

Yep. Not the best though, I’ve hit a parked car before.

55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds, they’re not as clunky.

56. Have you ever had braces?

Yep. For 2 years.

57. What is your favorite genre of music?

I’m not picky, but Alt. is my favorite.

58. Who is your hero?

Too many people, my parents are up there with people like Malala Yousafzai and John Lasseter.

59. Do you read comic books?

Sometimes. I read a few webcomics, and run one myself though.

60. What makes you the most angry?

Sudden loud noises, and consistent loud noises. And arrogant world leaders. And arrogance in general.

61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

Real book, I do get a bit more bored with electronic reading. Plus, books can’t die.

62. What is your favorite subject in school?

Art! And calculus. Not sure how that works.

63. Do you have any siblings?

A younger brother. He’s awful.

64. What was the last thing you bought?

...food probably. I like food. I think it was Moes.

65. How tall are you?

5′2″. It doesn’t help I’m skinny and short.

66. Can you cook?

I can, with a recipe.

67. What are three things that you love?

Thinking, writing, drawing.

68. What are three things that you hate?

Loud noises, rampant childishness, and those who think that the first two will give them power.

69. What is your sexual orientation?

I’m somewhere between straight and ace. Does that make sense?

70. Where do you currently live?

Georgia! Come for the who knows what, die of humidity.

71. Who was the last person you texted?

@hyrulehearts1123 and another writing buddy. Yay writing buddies.

72. When was the last time you cried?

I think Sunday, for all of 10 seconds. I hate crying. I just do.

73. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

IHateEverything, as of right now. Having fun with that series.

74. Do you like to take selfies?

Sometimes, they don’t really turn out all that good though.

75. What is your favorite app?

If I had a favorite it would probably be iFunny.

76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

Pretty good, they’re great parents.

77. What is your favorite foreign accent?

Children with accents - it’s just so friggin cute!

78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

England, or anywhere in Europe really. I’ve never been there.

79. What is your favorite number?

Yours ;) jk I don’t have one

80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

Space. Galaxies are breathtaking.

81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

I’m pretty much the opposite of a daredevil.

82. Are you allergic to anything?

One type of obscure medicine. That’s about it.

83. Can you wiggle your ears?

Nnnnnope

84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

Pretty often, even if it’s not my fault. That’s not healthy is it?

85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

I like both too much to choose. Forest (when safe) is probably better though.

86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

“If you don’t feel stupid, you’re not working hard enough.” - My dad about working hard

87. Are you a good liar?

Occasionally. I wouldn’t let you know though.

88. What is your Hogwarts House?

Gryffendor and Hufflepuff. Gryfflepuff?

89. Do you talk to yourself?

More than I talk to real people.

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert. 100% Unless I’m around extroverts. Then I’m a dork.

91. Do you keep a journal/diary?

Only of story ideas.

92. Do you believe in second chances?

Yes, but it’s less likely someone deserves them after a long period of time of repeated actions.

93. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

Yeah, people can change. But people can also change back.

94. Are you ticklish?

I used to be... thanks friends.

95. Have you ever been on a plane?

Yeah, a bunch. Is that a new thing?

96. Do you have any piercings?

Nope, I hate needles. Hate them.

97. What fictional character do you wish was real?

idk. All fictional characters have pros and cons to bringing them to the real world.

I’m too analytical aren’t I? Let’s just go with Calvin and Hobbes. They’re harmless.

98. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope. I’ve only thought about one, but, once again, NEEDLES.

99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

When I switched from a public school to a private school.

100. Do you believe in karma?

Eh, not really. People make choices that affect them in the long run, that doesn’t mean it’s a supernatural thing.

101. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

Nope. I’m the only one with perfect vision in my somewhat extended family, until you hit some of my cousins.

102. Do you want children?

I couldn’t handle more than one kid. Maybe a dog will work instead.

103. Who is the smartest person you know?

My dad, personally.

104. What is your most embarrassing memory?

I can’t think of anything ultra-embarrassing right now, but I have a tendency to screw up the english language in strange and creative ways.

105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

Only once, a while back. I need my beauty rest.

106. What color are most of you clothes?

Solid colors, mostly T-shirts. I look like a middle school boy most days. Not fun.

107. Do you like adventures?

Sure! I’m up for failing miserably.

108. Have you ever been on TV?

I was almost an extra in a Netflix movie - my family was up in New York City and we stumbled onto a set, and got to take part in it. I don’t think the scene was in the actual film though.

109. How old are you?

18.

110. What is your favorite quote?

“Do not let anyone define you because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul.”

-My senior quote, from Ratatouille

111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?

Savory. Sweet isn’t bad though.

112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you?

Most of them have (not too badly though) at some point, but I love them anyways.

113. What is your favorite scent?

Home sweet home. Too bad you can’t bottle that one up.

114. Random fact you know?

Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour. Go try it.

115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships?

They’re painful and tedious, and don’t always work out, but if the relationship is strong enough you’ll perservere. Why do you ask?

PS screw tagging people. Just screw it

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hemsworths-chris · 7 years

Text

some tag games

stuff is under the cut

tagging: @tcrtarus, @ctaeth, @fleurrdelacour @jilys, @blcise, @nargles, @pctter, @infaernal, @petrichovr, and @franciskinloch; you don’t have to do these if you don’t want to

first one:

was tagged by @asoftdante!

if i were a month, i’d be: june or may or september if i were a day of the week, i’d be: tuesday or saturday if i were a planet, i’d be: mercury if i were a sea animal, i’d be: sea slug seahorse if i were a god/goddess, i’d be: hestia or athena if i were a piece of furniture, i’d be: a beanbag lmao if i were a gemstone, i’d be: turquoise or sapphire if i were a flower, i’d be: blue columbine corpse flower if i were a kind of weather, i’d be: sunny day with few clouds if i were a colour, i’d be: the color of the tropical sea if i were an emotion, i’d be: almost drunk happiness if i were a fruit, i’d be: strawberry if i were a sound, i’d be: laughter if i were an element, i’d be: fire if i were a place, i’d be: bookstore if i were a mythological creature, i’d be: phoenix if i were a taste, i’d be: spice if i were a scent, i’d be: vanilla/coconut if i were an object, i’d be: a laptop or a gel pen if i were a body part, i’d be: fingers, lips, eyes if i were a song, i’d be: non-stop / hamilton (oops) if i were a pair of shoes, i’d be: black low converses

tagged by @njmphadora (whose formatting i borrowed oops), and a similar one by @stagpotter and @ohpottecr

rules - put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people!

1. miss jackson // panic! at the disco feat. lolo 2. 96000 // lin-manuel miranda + obc of in the heights 3. i’m so sorry // imagine dragons 4. something wild // lindsey stirling feat. andrew macmahon 5. in your pocket // maroon 5 6. gold // kiiara 7. galway girl // ed sheeran 8. young and menace // fall out boy 9. smile // mikky ekko 10. angel with a shotgun // the cab

also some other songs i’m vibing to (as @stagpotter had in their tag): location // khalid; heaven in hiding // halsey; fourth of july // fall out boy; all i want // kodaline (yeah my taste is Basic)

i was tagged by @ilithiyas!

RULES: Using only song titles of one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag 20 people.

Artist/Band: Fall Out Boy What is your gender: You're Crashing But You're No Wave How do you feel: Where Did the Party Go / The Mighty Fall / Honorable Mention If you could go anywhere: Saturday Favourite Mode of Transportation: Moving Pictures / Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Your Best Friend: Golden / Miss Missing You Favourite Time of the Day: Eternal Summer / Calm Before The Storm If Your Life Was a Tv Show: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes / Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Relationship Status: From Now on, We Are Enemies / Alone Together / Caffeine Cold Your Fear: Growing Up / The Mighty Fall

tagged by @alrightevains and @asoftdante <3

you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (damn)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: tea

2. Phone call: don’t recall

3. Text message: group chat of friends on hangouts

4. Song you listened to: apparently run away by chase atlantic

5. Time you cried: don’t remember

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: single always

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: not in a relationship

9. Lost someone special: y e s

10. Been depressed: sorta, depends on how you define the word

11. Gotten drunk: off happiness? yeah. out of alcohol? no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14: aqua, the color of the hawaiian sea; navy blue, almost black; lime green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: many online, some irl

16. Fallen out of love: sorta

17. Laughed until you cried: ofc

18. Found out someone was talking about you: far too often

19. Met someone who changed you: loads of my friends

20. Found out who your friends were: almost

21. Kissed someone on your fb list: wha

GENERAL: 22. How many of your fb friends do you know irl: don’t use fb

23. Do you have any pets: I WANT A FUCKING CAT SO BADLY OML

24. Do you want to change your name: maybe idk prob not

25. What did you do for your last birthday: sleepover with friends

26. What time did you wake up: depends - 7:15 on schooldays, 10:30 on weekends/summer

27: What were you doing at midnight last night: snoozing

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the rest of season 4 of turn; fob’s new album; the start of high school

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a minute ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my mediocrity at everything

31. What are you listening to rn: distant conversation

32. Have you talked to a person named Tom: i don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: slow wifi

34. Most viewed website: prob tumblr rip

35. Mole/s: a few

36. Mark/s: a few

37. Childhood dream: becoming an astronomer or a writer, and it’s still the same

38. Hair colour: black

39. Long or short hair: medium

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope, i don’t Get crushes weirdly enough

41. What do you like about yourself: nothing, mainly? i can write decently sometimes and occasionally i get my shit together in debate

42. Piercings: one per ear

43. Bloodtype: i don’t know and nor do my parents rip

44. Nickname: more like mispronounciations

45. Relationship status: single, thankfully

46. Zodiac: sagittarius

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: turn: washington’s spies and the late show with stephen colbert tbh

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right ot left hand: right

51. Surgery: none yet

52. Piercing: again, one per ear

53. Sport: volleyball, used to swim

55. Vacation: i’m on vacation in india rn

56. Pair of trainers: nikes

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: something i wanna do rn - i like pasta lmao

58. Drinking: nothing

59. I’m about to: finish this freaking ask meme

61. Waiting for: july 11 when we get back, and aug 23 when school starts

62. Want: to go back to california

63. Get married: hopefully not

64. Career: astrophysicist? lawyer? writer?

WHICH IS BETTER ? 65. Hugs or kisses: haven’t gotten any kisses on the lips, but hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc i’m tol

68. Older or younger: idk? younger prob

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook-up or relationship: er? idk?

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t r o u b l e m a k e r

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: never had either

77. Turned someone down: probably on something

78. Sex on the fist date: i’m fucking 14

79. Broken someones heart: maybe prob not

80. Had your heart broken: on a shallow level

81. Been arrested: yes i’m secretly on the run bc i was arrested for murder wtf

82. Cried when someone died: no one i’ve known has died yet, thankfully

83. Fallen for a friend: not rly

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not rly

85. Miracles: sorta

86. Love at first sight: sorta

87. Santa Claus: nah

88. Kiss on the first date: perhaps, depends on circumstance

89. Angels: no, not rly

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: elena

91. Eyecolour: dark brown

92. Favourite movie: i love the now you see me series, and wonder woman was incredible

#about me #tag games #txt #not hp

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agallonofmilky · 7 years

Note

every number except 44

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Souncloudis your room messy or clean?Messy afwhat color are your eyes? Bluedo you like your name? why?irl name? sortawhat is your relationship status? singledescribe your personality in 3 words or lessdepressive lazy assholewhat color hair do you have?ehhhhhwhat kind of car do you drive?color?the one that goes where do you shop?at the storehow would you describe your style?i love pink and cute stuff thats itfavorite social media accounttumblrwhat size bed do you have? singleany siblings?yeah a sisterif you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?canada probably because its way more fucking calm favorite snapchat filter? face swapfavorite makeup brand(s)i dont use makeup how many times a week do you shower?oncefavorite tv show?atm?idkshoe size?43(convert it you dingus)how tall are you?185 cm or 6'1sandals or sneakers?sandals do you go to the gym?not regularly describe your dream datei hug them the whole time and we eat food. im a simple man.how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?20 liras(5 usd)what color socks are you wearing?black atm how many pillows do you sleep with?i have a bed filled with pillows do you have a job? what do you do?i used to how many friends do you have?irl? zero. internet? a fuck ton whats the worst thing you have ever done?i was born does that count? whats your favorite candle scent?hmmmm...idk man 3 favorite boy namesidk honestly3 favorite girl namesJenny, Jillian(boi u have a very cool soundin name) , Jessie (what can i say, i like the letter j i guess)favorite actor? Nic cage(jk jk its probably dwayne johnson or terry crews)favorite actress?that lad who played hermione was rad who is your celebrity crush?nic cagefavorite movie?idk atm its moana prolly do you read a lot?books? never heard of 'em whats your favorite book? idk maybe franz kafka -metamorphosismoney or brains? why not both?do you have a nickname? what is it?ulti typhlosion, ulti buddy , buddy, ulti, ultibutt, ultim80( @sailor-caesium whaddup) how many times have you been to the hospital?countless timestop 10 favorite songs1-the big black -the quick brown fox2-wonderlust- the quick brown fox3-Banned Forever - Renard4-owl city- fireflies 5-Carne Vale - homestuck6-Do you believe in magic - The lovin' spoonful7-Dragonforce - through fire and flames8-Necmiye Hanim- Dagda kuzu9-Noma- Brain Power10-Sunstroke project- Run awaydo you take any medications daily?no atm what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)oily how many kids do you want? one and a half(jk i want like, three)whats your go to hair style?no opinion but i like having messy hairwhat type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 2 floors so i guess small but we have a lot of rooms so who is your role model? @8owties and @potoobrigham what was the last compliment you received?You're adorable! by @magicnotradioactive what was the last text you sent?"if i must die let it be in the ass"how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?i never believed in that lad we didnt have that kinda shit in turkey what is your dream car?Volkswagen Beetle but with a good engine and some modifications opinion on smoking?i dont caredo you go to college?will what is your dream job?being an animator would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? rural i guessdo you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?no but i take those small ketchup and sauce boxes from mcdonaldsdo you have freckles? nahdo you smile for pictures?dependshow many pictures do you have on your phone? 2097have you ever peed in the woods?yup i did do you still watch cartoons?yeah boi do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?we dont have wendy's here but i love mcdonaldsFavorite dipping sauce?bbq sauce master race what do you wear to bed?anything have you ever won a spelling bee?a what(i never joined them bad luck i guess) what are your hobbies?drawing, hoping for the day inevitable death comes as fast as possible , watching animecan you draw?no next question do you play an instrument?no but i wanna play the transverse flutewhat was the last concert you saw? oh man it was very old i dont remember tea or coffee?next questionStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?never went to dunky boysdo you want to get married?yeah man what is your crush’s first and last initial?i dont have a crush atmare you going to change your last name when you get married? nowhat color looks best on you?im not sure but i like the old and dirty look so dark green tones and brown together do you miss anyone right now?i miss an internet bro but i dont wanna bother them twice in a post do you sleep with your door open or closed?dependsdo you believe in ghosts?nah manwhat is your biggest pet peeve?when someone says something over and over again or stay behind me and watch me whe i do something last person you called`my momfavorite ice cream flavor?idk maybe vanilla or caramel or melon regular oreos or golden oreos? regular chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?none please what shirt are you wearing?lets pass this i dont wanna explain what is your phone background?papi the harpy being a cutieare you outgoing or shy?HHEHHEHEHEH shydo you like it when people play with your hair?n o (not unless im ok with it atm)do you like your neighbors?there is this guy who wasted a whole year trynna convert a bus to a van they have my respect do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?yeahhave you ever been high?not actually but i had a lot of moments where i was acting high unknowingly have you ever been drunk?i drank alcohol but i havent been drunk last thing you ate? macaronifavorite lyrics right now"i dont want to set the world on fire,i just want to start a flame in your heart"summer or winter?winter day or night?night dark, milk, or white chocolate?milk favorite month? june because school endswhat is your zodiac signAradia who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and my sister and if i remember correctly, my dad(we were watching a movie and i couldnt hold it(hachiko y'all))(i did this on mobile test me binch)

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jordandrawings · 7 years

Text

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Jordan: I doubt everyone’s existence

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Jordan: I’d say 3, My mind thinks of weird things in the dark and I see things that aren’t there.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Jordan: I’d never want to meet anyone who loves them self so much it’s all they can talk about, they always make sure that their make-up is ok and that they’re looking “Perfect”. Trust me, I put up with this every day in school

4. What is your favourite word?

Jordan: i don’t know... uh... consent?

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Jordan: I’d say a Sakura tree.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Jordan: Nothing, I was to busy listening to music.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Jordan: A Dan and Phil “Cat whiskers come from within” T-shirt.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Jordan: A fan-girl... I guess.

9. Bright room or dark room?

Jordan: Surprisingly, my room is bright

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Jordan: Sleep.

11. Favourite age you’ve been so far?

Jordan: I haven’t really enjoyed any age of mine just yet, so I’ll just say when I was 1... I guess, Cause I can’t remember anything from that age.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Jordan: My dad.

13. Your worst enemy?

Jordan: Nearly everyone I know in school.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

Jordan: An 8-bit Sakura tree.

15. Do you like someone?

Jordab: Kinda... I guess, online.

16. The last song you listened to?

Jordan: The Milo Murphy’s law theme song.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Jordan: My irl friend’s bitchy friend who always tells me to shut up.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Jordan: As I just said... My irl friend’s bitchy friend who always tells me to shut up.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Jordan: I’d have @pyroisswag. I’d just tell her to get some sweets, give her the money and when she gets back we just watch cartoons and Dan and Phil for the rest of the day.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Jordan: Walking 2 miles.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Jordan: I’d look like myself except with shorter hair, no boobs and deeper voice. And I’d just live my life as normal.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Jordan: I can turn one eye in with out moving the other.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Jordan: Self confidence.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Jordan: A ham sandwich, I’m very plain when It comes to sandwiches.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Jordan: Online :3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Jordan: Tokyo!!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Jordan: I’d say: “Could you give it to someone else, give it to Rick Sanchez for all I care”.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Jordan: No one annoy me or anyone else I love. :3

29. What is your favourite expletive?

Jordan: I don’t have one

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Jordan: The doll my dad gave to me when I was a baby.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Jordan: I wouldn’t tell people in school about my youtube channel back in 2012.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Jordan: America, I can visit most of my friends!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Jordan: Edd Gould, He died to young

34. What was your last dream about?

Jordan: I think it was about Wander over yonder, I can’t remember my dreams when I wake up but I remember seeing a little chibi Lord Hater in my dream... That’s it.

35. Are you a good person?

Jordan: I can be when I’m not angry, sad or sleepy

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Jordan: 3 times, when ever I’d break my arm or leg. I broke my arm twice and my leg once, ON FUCKING SOFT PLAY!!

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Jordan: I have, I’ve even built some in my neighbours yards.

38. What is the colour of your socks?

Jordan: Black and Grey.

39. What type of music do you like?

Jordan: I like Electro swing, modern and old stuff, Basically anything that is catchy.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Jordan: I’m a sucker for Sunsets

41. What is your favourite milkshake flavor?

Jordan: Strawberry and Vanilla.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Jordan: I don’t support any, I hate foot ball and any sport ever created excpet for swimming and ice skating.

43. Do you have any scars?

Jordan: I don’t think I do.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

Jordan: I’m stuck between a voice actor, an animator, a character designer or a story boarder.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Jordan: My weight.

46. Are you reliable?

Jordan: I can be sometimes.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Jordan: Will I ever become what I want to be.

48. Do you hold grudges?

Jordan: Yeah. Again the principle at my school for being an ass-hole to my dad.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Jordan: A shibi inu and a panda.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Jordan: Talking about Sausage Party with my friends and what are dark fantasies are about

51. Are you a good liar?

Jordan: My facial expression makes it terrible but I disguise my voice.

52. How long could you go without talking?

Jordan: I don’t know, Never timed myself.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

Jordan: I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad hair style I didn’t like. I’ve had the same hair style ever since I was young

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Jordan: I have, It turned out ok.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Jordan: I can, Too much to list because I’m tired.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Jordan: Butter, just butter.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Jordan: Me as a star Nomad.

58. What would be you dream car?

Jordan: My dad’s car, it’s so cool!!

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

Jordan: I sing in the shower often, I once even sang a Steven Universe Medley in the shower.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Jordan: Yes.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Jordan: I don’t think I ever have read a horoscope

62. What is your favourite letter of the alphabet?

Jordan: I don’t know... Um... Y? I guess. Cause Why?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Jordan: Dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

Jordan: They’re so adorable!!!!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

*65. OK, how about, If you could meet someone famous, who would it be?

Jordan: Jack McBrayer, He’s basically the sweetest man on earth with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen!!

I tag: @pyroisswag and @hollywoodholly

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

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dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more.

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya.

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else.

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah.

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds.... ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other.

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks)

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!) anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until. yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...) ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world” ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess)

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade.

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh.

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.)

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me) but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that....

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that.

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it- idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk.

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first) i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” )

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it.

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is?

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.

#tf when youre your own therapist #hah yeah thanks tumblr for being my digital diary #cringey enough and private enough it may as well never be read by anyone #but still if some crazy dumbass read it all theyd know me all too god damn well #but its not like...anyone ive mentioned will ever fucking read it. even consider to #aka #if you stumble past this #i guess you can assume its not abt you #ugh #this didnt even help that much #time to try option c #ignore everything and numb it with some rad youtbe videos for another 4 hrs and crash asleep at 5 am and everything continues to be bad #but like bad tomorrow #sorry this was a vent post #a very long one over 6000 words #i am SO sorry if youre on mobile and the readmore didnt work

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propertyhold · 6 years

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8 Years!

Let’s just make this clear right off the bat: I’m not stopping this blog train! I’ve noticed that every time I open a blog post by talking about blogging, or life, or anything not explicitly house-related, inevitably a contingent of readers thinks I am trying to signal the end times. Not so! Relax! I am, however, immensely flattered and still amazed that anyone would find such an announcement even mildly consequential or distressing. But that’s not what’s happening so don’t work yourself up! It’s only Tuesday! We have the whole week for that! Pacing is key!

Here’s what is happening: Sunday marked EIGHT YEARS since I published the first post on Manhattan Nest. I think that’s almost a century in Internet-time? What a crazy thing.

Eight years is a long time, I think, for most people to stick with any one thing. Which isn’t to overstate the longevity here—I mean, this morning I fell down an Instagram rabbit-hole and discovered that Heidi and Spencer have now been married for almost NINE years, and that shit knocked me right back down to size. But still, 8 years is something. Can we just IMAGINE for a second if I had applied the same level of long-term commitment to, say, physical fitness? Who even KNOWS the heights of hotness I could have reached! I certainly don’t. But it’s sort of fun to think about.

It feels a little funny/wrong/weird/indulgent (maybe because it isssss!) bringing up this 8-year milestone at all, primarily because of all the things this blog is not. You’d think after this much time, I might have figured a lot of stuff out about blogging, or at least about my own blog, but the truth is…nope, not really. Stuff like…is there a goal here with this thing that I’m doing? Why am I doing this? How does it fit into my life?

You know that feeling that everything we do ought to be undertaken with a specific goal in mind? Yes hello. You get the degree to get the better job. You practice the sport so you can win the game. You stitch this piece of fabric to that piece because all the small efforts will add up to one hawt caftan, or whatever. But what if you don’t know if you’re sewing a caftan or a quilt or a circus tent or a throw pillow? What if you just kind of like the activity of it? That can feel a little aimless, because it is. And not very worthwhile, sometimes.

I’ve been lucky to meet and know a lot of bloggers over the years, and have always felt super out of place when a conversation shifts to posting schedules or strategies to grow follower counts or subscribers or newsletters or video content or sponsorship deals with the kind of budgets that have definitely never come anywhere near my inbox.* In 8 years, I’ve never been successful at sticking to a posting schedule for any significant amount of time. I’ve stepped away from it all for weeks or occasionally months when other stuff took over my life. I’ve never done any of the smart things bloggers do to organically grow traffic and increase shares and gain larger followings. I’ve never pitched myself to a brand. I’ve never created goals for blog-derived income or really any blog-related goals, period. Yet, 8 years. Here we are.

*For the record, pretty much all blog people I’ve ever met IRL are really cool and fun and smart and mostly talk about things other than blogging.

For a long time, I felt like I was doing this whole blog thing very wrong. Actually, not even a long time—I mean pretty much the entire time. Like I accidentally created this thing that had potential to be…something…and I never got my shit together to really figure out what that thing was. I’ve never been able to figure out if this is job, or not a job, or kind of a job but totally different than my actual job, or an extension of my actual job, or what. It’s personal, but how personal? It’s professional, but how professional? Sure, I think I should be entitled to make some money off of it, but how much money? And how? And at what cost? How much time is too much time to spend on something that isn’t how I make a living, but contributes to it? Could I make it a job if I really dove into it with everything I had? Would I even want that if it was an option? Questions like this are shockingly easy to avoid thinking too much about, but I think the consequence is creating an abyss of not-knowing-ness. Without the clarity of a direction, often you don’t really know what to do. I guess you can just stop, but if it feels good…what’s the harm in continuing? For eight years.

I don’t have an answer but maybe that’s because I’ve been considering the wrong question. Maybe it doesn’t have to matter all the time what something should be, because how often in life are we honestly allowed to just not really know? Through what other mechanism can I have fun shooting the shit about stuff in my life and get paid even a little bit for it? And interact with a bunch of awesome people who want to talk about it? And make some legit friends along the way and see some amazing things and learn so goddamn much?

Maybe it kind of already is what it should be, which is a collection of all those things. That doesn’t mean it can’t be more. That doesn’t mean it won’t at times become less. But recently I realized that I was looking back on my 8 years of blogging as story of underachieving, a collection of personal and professional shortcomings, of all the things I somehow never wrote about or didn’t complete, of taking for granted what I know plenty of people work really hard for. We tell ourselves harsh stories, sometimes. But that’s one perspective, and it’s a bad take. My idea of a big project when I started this blog was building my own desk, and now I’ve built a house—maybe what this thing should or shouldn’t be just isn’t all that relevant. The fact that we’re even talking about it at all 8 years in is worth something. The fact that it’s still fun is worth something. It actually feels like it’s worth a lot of somethings, at least to me.

This blog is, and has been, a source of incredible good in my life—this I know. And maybe a consequence of sitting for so long in that abyss of not-knowing-ness was the creation of this space, right here. This kooky little dimple of the internet where people are actually fucking nice to each other, and smart, and knowledgeable, and generous, where we can freely engage big ideas as much as fawn of pretty stuff and adorable raccoons. Sometimes I worry that acknowledging the rarity of that will come off as self-congratulatory, but honestly? I didn’t create it—you guys did. There have been almost 36,000 comments posted on this blog, and I don’t even think I’d need all ten fingers to count the shitty troll-y ones. Where else does that happen? I really don’t know, but it’s a real honor to be part of it here.

I don’t know what the next 8 years or 8 months or 8 weeks looks like with this blog, but I’d like to approach it with less concern about what I should be doing and more about what I want to be doing, since that’s pretty much all I’ve ever been good at anyway. It’s the internet, guys. We can do that kind of thing. And I hope you’ll come along for it, because I really like having you here. We have a nice time together, I think.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you for these past 8 years! Year 9—let’s do this thing.

8 Years! syndicated from findqueenslandelectricians.wordpress.com

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propertyhold · 6 years

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8 Years!

Here’s what is happening: Sunday marked EIGHT YEARS since I published the first post on Manhattan Nest. I think that’s almost a century in Internet-time? What a crazy thing.

*For the record, pretty much all blog people I’ve ever met IRL are really cool and fun and smart and mostly talk about things other than blogging.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you for these past 8 years! Year 9—let’s do this thing.

8 Years! syndicated from findqueenslandelectricians.wordpress.com

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