#whenever he does they usually end up running from the cops
Text
IOTA Reviews: Representation
Oh, so NOW child abuse is bad. Could have fooled me last episode!
Let's get into the twenty-fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Representation
We start off with an English news report recapping the ending of “Revolution”, stating that Ms. Bustier is going to run for mayor, conveniently ignoring her attempted coup in “Collusion”. We also see that Gabriel and Tomoe are still uncomfortably focused on making Adrien and Kagami appear to be a couple in public, much to their dismay. While Kagami is visited by Argos (who once again sneaks up on her, like he usually does), Adrien realizes he can transform into his space form and see Marinette whenever he wants and transforms into Cat Noir, planning to reveal his identity to Marinette. Hey, did he even tell Ladybug about his sudden departure? Because it didn't go well the last time he left Paris without telling her (New York Special).
We then cut to Marinette right after the events of “Revolution”, going to the end of the year dance... even though when we saw Adrien and Kagami in London, the sun was still setting, and France's time zone is only about an hour later, meaning Adrien and Kagami must have flown there at ludicrous speed.
Meanwile, Argos and Kagami somehow got from London to Paris offscreen, and watch Marinette from afar, with Kagami revealing she knows she's Ladybug. They decide to tell Marinette that Felix knows who Monarch is in order to ensure his downfall. Nah, I'm just kidding. Here's the real reason they're coming to Marinette for help.
Kagami: My mother and Gabriel Agreste will never allow us to love each other freely. Only Ladybug can help us.
Yep, rather than prioritize the fact that Gabriel is endangering the citizens of Paris on a daily basis, Kagami is seriously more concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend being tampered with. This is like saying Lex Luthor is evil because he cheats on his taxes. Argos transforms back into Felix, and... oh, for the love of God... he disguises himself as Adrien in order to get closer to Marinette. You can't keep portraying Felix as this master of disguise if he only has ONE disguise!
Marinette sees “Adrien” and assumes he came back from London from her, assuming her boyfriend is much more active that the writers actually believe he is, so she tries to follow him while avoiding the guests at the party. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe learn their children are gone, so he goes to talk with Nathalie and—why the hell is she like that?
Seriously, this has never been established as something that happens when someone uses the broken Peacock Miraculous. Why didn't this happen to Emilie? She looks pretty healthy in her little coffin, and I doubt Gabriel is an embalmer.
Anyway, after Nathalie once again reminds us that she hates Gabriel, but not enough to call the cops on him, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and immediately detransforms back in order to akumatize himself into Nightormentor.
Nightormentor is a pretty average recolor of the Collector's design, which kind of makes sense, considering that Gabriel himself intended the Akuma for himself. The star pattern is okay, but there's not much I can really say. As for his powers, he's just another Sandboy, being able to force people to hallucinate their worse nightmares, only instead of a pillow, his weapon is a staff created from a pen containing the Akuma, with the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to boot. Why he didn't just give himself the same powers he gave Truth when he's trying to find Adrien is anyone's guess.
Cat Noir arrives at the Eiffel Tower to talk with Marinette, just as Nightormentor appears. The two fight, and after a few civilians get caught in the crossfire, Nightormentor escapes through Voyage. As Cat Noir heads to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at the advising of Max, Alya and Nino decide that the totally not useless Resistance should get involved.
While Marinette gives chase, Felix leads her into the school's art classroom, where he transforms into Argos and creates a Sentimonster using Kagami's ring. Felix and Kagami use the Sentimonster's power to do... uh... whatever the hell this is.
Yeah, this is basically a flashback, but the animators probably blew their budget needed for the new models on Ms. Bustier's baby bump, so we're getting this instead, thanks to the Sentimonster Argos created. There are several scenes of Cat Noir and Nightormentor interspersed, but like what I did with Marinette's flashback in “Derision”, I'll give you the summary before I talk about my problems with this.
When Adrien's mother and aunt, Emilie and Amelie, were born, Emilie (who was born seven seconds early) was trusted with the family heirlooms, the two rings we first saw all the way back in “Felix”. Even though this meant she would inherit the family name, Emilie didn't really like doing... whatever the Graham de Vanily family wanted her to do, but Amelie did. Eventually, while studying abroad, Emilie met Gabriel, and the two fell in love. Before marrying Gabriel, Emilie gave up her role as the sole inheritor of the Graham de Vanily family's vague legacy, while Amelie married a man named Colt to please her parents. Both couples wanted children, but it's heavily implied that Emilie and Amelie were infertile, so their wishes weren't able to come true. Emilie finally managed to get a bun in the oven thanks to the Peacock Miraculous, but this made Colt jealous that he couldn't have a child. Out of the goodness of her heart, Emilie asked Gabriel to give the Peacock Miraculous to Colt, in exchange for letting the Gorilla guard Adrien in the future. Using his own jealousy as a source of power, Colt got Amelie pregnant, though at the cost of his health. Colt figured this was the price he had to pay for using “sorcery”, and used this as an excuse to treat Felix like a monster and ordered him around using the ring containing his Amok. Felix himself was unaware that he wasn't human until Colt accidentally broke the ring (which wasn't one of the two wedding rings used to control Adrien and was an entirely different ring containing Felix's Amok), which he stole as soon as Colt died. This is meant to explain why Felix decided to steal back the Peacock Miraculous, in order to save his life. Felix later met Kagami, and the two explain that they need “Someone like Ladybug” to help them.
Now if your only information about this episode is through my summary, it seems simple enough. For everyone else who actually saw this sequence in the episode itself, I'm guessing your thoughts were about the same as mine.
youtube
Let's go over every problem I have with this scene, starting with...
#1: The Way Kagami and Felix Explain This
Let me just ask something: Why can't Felix just talk to Marinette about what he knows since he now knows she's Ladybug instead of telling her everything through this weird play? You can still tell Marinette all of this without your two-man show. In fact, why did Felix have to wait until he knew Marinette was Ladybug instead of just talking to her the next time he saw her? Yeah, you could argue it's easier this way, but like I've been saying since Season 4, Felix has had no excuse to wait this long to tell Ladybug about the fact that he knows who her greatest enemy is.
And why the hell is it presented this way? Why does Felix have to recontextualize the story of his family's history in the form of a play? Why turn it into a stereotypical fairy tale that leaves out the names of all the important people, like Emilie, Amelie, Colt (whose name I only learned through the transcript of this episode), and Gabriel? If it was like a hidden message Felix and Kagami wanted to convey to Marinette, that would make sense, but why do they have to be so cryptic when they're only putting this show on for one person? You could easily avoid a good chunk of the questions this raises if this was a show Felix and Kagami put on for the public that Marinette was able to learn the information from. Yeah, it still wouldn't explain why Felix can't just tell Marinette about who Gabriel really is, but at least it's something.
The way it all happens kind of reminds me of this scene from this old Halloween special I saw a lot as a kid, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular. In that scene, some of the kids act out a scene of this little girl's parents entrusting her with a flashlight to explain why she carries it around, in order to scare off any monsters she runs into, using the graveyard they were in as a makeshift set. This scene works a lot more because it's done in more of a tongue-in-cheek way, with some of the kids breaking character to boost their own egos (for example, the kid playing the mom comments about how responsible she is), and how one kid in particular gradually gets fed up with the whole thing. The scene does its job at delivering exposition in a way that isn't meant to be taken too seriously, and it's clear this is being done by some kids goofing around in-universe.
With this episode, it's clear that the writers want the audience to take this whole backstory seriously in spite of how absurd it all is. Seriously look at this.
We are seriously expected to take this backstory seriously when it looks like some theater major's midterm project. The animators want it to look artsy and unique for the sake of making it look artsy and unique. Why does it look like a play these two put together themselves if they're supposedly using a Sentimonster's power to do it? If the unnamed Sentimonster's powers is how Marinette is seeing all this, why can't it actually be seen as a flashback? Was it always intended to be a handmade play that was changed to the product of a Sentimonster at the last minute?
I get that the animators probably wanted kids to pick up on the visuals of the play, but even then, it makes it hard to really stomach the serious themes this backstory brings up, like infertility and child abuse, with the way they're presented. Not only do Felix and Kagami all play the characters using these white jumpsuits and masks, they also do all the voices, meaning that the only “dialogue” we hear from Colt is delivered by Kagami putting on a deeper voice. Let me repeat that: the only times we hear Colt, the abusive parent and all around garbage human being, talk, it's done by a teenage girl trying to make her voice sound deeper.
But hey, maybe the goofy voice will be overshadowed by the nuanced depiction of child abuse, right? Right?
#2: The Portrayal of Colt and the Double Standards Regarding His Treatment of Felix
I have never seen a single show struggle this much to convey a lesson as simple as “Child abuse is bad”.
When it comes to the parents in this show, terrible parents like Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe are almost never held accountable for the way they treated their children. If the writers aren't claiming they really love their children deep down, they're either downplaying how cruel they are at best or playing their behavior for laughs at worst. But here we are, the penultimate episode of the fifth season, and we finally have a parent who is unambiguously treated as a terrible human being with no redeeming qualities... and I still have problems with this.
This flashback really goes out of its way to let the audience that Colt was a real piece of scum in life. He only wanted a child out of jealousy, used his Amok to force Felix to do whatever he wanted, was heavily implied to have physically beat him at times, and blamed him for his poor health on his deathbed when he was the one who wanted to use the Peacock in the first place. Now that I think about it, why did Colt even use the Peacock to create Felix instead of Emelie? Was the episode so determined to paint Colt as a bastard that he wanted to be the one to create Felix himself?
The point I'm trying to make is that the show doesn't really explain why Colt was like this. Why was he such an angry man who treated his only child like crap? I don't know, because all the show's telling me is that he was just a dick. He honestly feels more like a caricature than anything else. He's only as terrible of a person he is in order to make the audience sympathize with Felix. I'm not saying that what Felix went through was okay, but it has the same energy as scenes of Gabriel talking to Emilie's body. It's mostly there to make the audience sympathize with an antagonistic character in spite of all the things they've done.
What's really weird is that even though the whole point of this play is so Felix can tell Marinette Gabriel is Monarch, so what does Colt have to do with this? I'm not saying he's not worth mentioning, but it makes no sense for Felix to tell Marinette about his abusive father before he tells her about Gabriel. It feels more like Felix wants to find a way to excuse his actions before telling Marinette about Gabriel being Monarch. And remember when “Derision” made a big deal about Chloe's terrible parents not excusing her actions? Funny how that conveniently doesn't apply to Felix in this episode.
In fact, let's talk about the elephant in the room: The fact that this episode aired right after “Revolution”, an episode that literally said a character living under an abusive and controlling parent was a fitting punishment for her. HOW THE HELL IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THAT? If anything, this episode really shows the double standards this show has about child abuse, how the only way your situation can be taken seriously is if you're a “good victim”. Chloe's a “bad victim”, so she doesn't get any sympathy when her mother outright says she's going to take control of her life, yet when Colt actually takes control of Felix's life, we're supposed to sympathize with him now. Why am I supposed to feel bad for Felix now when you just told me I shouldn't feel bad for someone in a similar situation last episode?
In fact, one theory I have about this backstory is that it was intended to kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. I believe that this episode wasn't just written to give us more insight into who Felix is as a character, but also to show the audience what “real” child abuse is like. As far as the show is concerned with Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe? They're not actually abusive parents, Colt is, so you should condemn his actions, and not those three. It's blatant double standards, which is nothing new for this show.
#3: The Way Amelie Just... Lets This All Happen
In my “Derision” review, I discussed how strange it was that so many people in Marinette's life did nothing to help her against Chloe, and the same thing applies here with Amelie.
This episode never really explains where Amelie was when Colt was abusing Felix, much less if she was even aware of it. At least with Marinette's parents, they didn't know because most of Marinette's suffering was at school. Amelie lives with Felix and Colt, so what's her excuse? She seriously didn't overhear Colt yelling at Felix or notice the orders Colt gave Felix? Was she just that ignorant to her child's suffering? Remember, this is supposed to be Felix's good parent.
In fact, does Amelie even know Felix is a Sentimonster? Yeah, “Emotion” established that Amelie knows Felix is Argos, but this episode doesn't really make it clear if she knows Felix is a Sentimonster or not. If it was clear Amelie knew nothing about what Felix really was, it would arguably make things easier to stomach, as she wouldn't know the power Colt had over him.
Instead, even though she's Felix's mother, the show doesn't really explain what she actually did when Colt was making Felix's life a living hell, especially since the flashback says that Amelie was forced to marry Colt, so you can't even say she was blinded by love here. Hell, I'm not even sure if Amelie knew the cause of Colt's untimely passing.
#4:This Doesn’t Really Do Much to Explain Felix’s Actions
Now before you say I'm being insensitive, let me make one thing clear: My issue isn't with the fact that this was done to get the audience to sympathize with Felix. The problem I have is that the backstory doesn't do enough to explain why Felix did the things he did.
Okay, Felix wants the Peacock Miraculous. Understandable, he doesn't want to die, so he has to do morally questionable things to preserve his life like betraying the only person capable of stopping the man who can kill him. What's less understandable is his plan to get the Peacock Miraculous from Gabriel. You'll notice that the backstory didn't mention Felix's first appearance, where he only stole the rings belonging to Amelie's family, and he didn't even think to look for the Peacock. Instead, it cuts from Felix realizing he's a Sentimonster to him striking a deal with Gabriel, not even mentioning that he gave Gabriel back one of the rings as part of the deal, which still makes no sense.
If Felix's goal from the start was to get the Peacock Miraculous, why did he bother stealing all of Marinette's Miraculous as a bargaining chip for the deal instead of the family ring? In fact, why did Felix even steal the ring and wait an entire season to trade it back to Gabriel for the Peacock a season later? And for someone who claims to care about Adrien, he really didn't see anything wrong with giving Gabriel one of the two rings capable of overriding his free will.
As a matter of fact, why the hell is Felix even so hostile towards Adrien? Why did he go out of his way to smear his reputation in his debut episode if all he wanted to do was make a bargain with Hawkmoth? In “Risk”, he mocked Adrien for how he talked, while Adrien himself was aware of how he made him look bad in front of his friends, and that's not even getting into how he made himself look like Adrien as part of his plan to betray Ladybug, which would have screwed him even more if Adrien wasn't already Cat Noir. For someone who claims he wants to protect him from Gabriel, Felix really doesn't care about his cousin all that much.
In fact, why does Felix even hate Gabriel at all? The show hinted that the two had a history, yet during the backstory, which I need to remind you, was told from Felix's perspective on the events, has a surprisingly generous portrayal of Gabriel. Did Felix know Gabriel was Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch during his first appearance? Does Felix blame Gabriel for how Colt treated him growing up? Does Felix hate Gabriel for how he treats Adrien? Did Gabriel intend to get Colt sick in the first place? Seriously, what is Felix's deal with Gabriel?!
youtube
How does a flashback organized by Felix himself do nothing to really explain why he did the things he did?
#5: The Fact That There Are STILL Several Unanswered Questions Here
For something meant to fill the audience in on several important topics, there are still so many questions about the history of the Agreste and Graham de Vanily families.
Other than the vague backstory about them being rich, we still know nothing about Emilie and Amelie other than them being rich and possibly infertile. We don't know if Amelie ever loved Colt, if she knew he was abusing Felix, or if she even knew if he used the Peacock to play god.
On a related note, why did Emilie and Gabriel decide to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a son instead of adopting? Scratch that, why did she specifically create a Sentimonster to give birth to like a normal baby? Was there some kind of Macbeth-esque guideline that Emilie had to give birth to a child in order for said child to get the inheritance? Did she use the ring to control Adrien like Gabriel does now? Seriously, this is the character the show's conflict is all based around, and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she was nice.
This flashback just makes no sense, and is such a stupid and confusing way to deliver exposition.
Anyway, during all this, Cat Noir and Nightormentor are fighting, and for the third time this season, Cat Noir attempts to Cataclysm him someone, even when he had Nightormentor pinned down. Nightormentor breaks free and hits Cat Noir with his magic dust, causing him to hallucinate... Cat Blanc?
Yeah, the script calls this form “Anticat”, but given how it looks like a reused Cat Blanc model coupled with the petrified people of Paris, this is clearly meant to bring Cat Blanc to mind. The problem is that NEITHER CAT NOIR OR NIGHTORMENTOR KNOW ABOUT THAT. Why would you remind audiences about an Akuma that technically never existed?
Better yet, is this what Cat Noir trying to his Cataclysm on people this past season (Destruction, Jubilation, Derision) has been building up to? The fear that he'll lose control? You could have fooled me, as he never really showed that much remorse for almost hurting people other than Monarch. Yeah, you could argue that because Nightormentor based his hallucinations off his victims' worst fears, but again, this fear had little to no buildup this season because Cat Noir never felt any guilt for Cataclysming Monarch after “Destruction”, and whenever tried to use his Cataclysm on other people, Cat Noir never really realized the weight of his actions. If you want to make a character arc about Cat Noir worrying about hurting people with his powers, go more into the guilt he feels for hurting Monarch and using that guilt to affect his actions. Don't just use some “Cat Blanc” nostalgia bait to convince the audience that there's been a character arc.
Nightormentor takes advantage of Cat Noir's emotional state to get his Miraculous, only for the Resistance to save Cat Noir by... throwing stuff at him. And this is how they defeat him. While Nino, Alya, Ivan, and Zoe distract Nightormentor, Kim and Max help Cat Noir focus, Cat Noir Cataclysms Nightormentor's baton.
Zoe traps the Akuma in a jar, Cat Noir doesn't take it, he heads off to detransform and confess to Marinette, only for the hallucination to still affect him since Ladybug didn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and even though he knows it's just a hallucination, he still uses it as a reason to not reveal his identity to Marinette, even after Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma herself.
The episode ends with Gabriel and Tomoe locking Adrien and Kagami in these white rooms while under heavy surveillance to ensure they won't escape, vowing to start “Operation: Perfect Alliance”. Because these two like using the word “perfect” more than they like subjecting their children to what one of my anons referred to as “white torture”.
Because that's a good way to keep your children under control: psychological torment.
Other than the stuff with Felix and Kagami, this episode was pretty dull.
There's just not much I can really say here. The plot was barebones, all Marinette did was listen to Felix and Kagami's story so the writers didn't have to involve any of them in the main conflict, and even Cat Noir confronting his akumatized father doesn't have a lot of weight to it because towards the end, it focuses more on Adrien's nightmare instead of his relationship with his father.
This episode is nothing more than a prologue for the final battle. It's only here to establish Adrien and Kagami's presence in London, Marinette learning Gabriel is Monarch, and even more setup for Gabriel and Tomoe's final plan. And trust me, the buildup will be far from worth it.
THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX
It's amazing. The only time this season Felix goes out of his way to actually help Ladybug, and he still screws it up. He abducted Kagami from her hotel in London without thinking of Tomoe hunting him down again when that was the entire plot of “Pretension”, only decided to tell Marinette he knows who Monarch is because he's getting in the way of his relationship with his girlfriend, did so in an unnecessarily convoluted way, and even though he made a big deal about not wanting to use Sentimonsters in his last appearance, he still used one to tell Marinette his life story instead of just saying “My uncle is Monarch”.
And if you think Felix will get a chance to truly redeem himself in the finale, think again, bucko. Other than a brief cameo, this is the last thing he'll do this season. Aren't you glad the writers made this character prominent for seven episodes over three seasons and did nothing else with him?
#immaturity of thomas astruc#iota#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug salt#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#cat noir#felix graham de vanily#argos#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#hawk moth#monarch#nightormentor#kagami tsurugi#nathalie sancoeur#tomoe tsurugi#emilie agreste#amelie graham de vanily#colt fathom#Youtube
438 notes
·
View notes
Text
Summary: Damian doesn't know how to feel--it seems that he never does. The voices that took the form of his mother, grandfather, his father, and sometimes, Grayson all telling him different things, telling him what to do with this weird feeling for you. Will Damian finally listen to his own whispering voice or will he submit to the voices of his mentors once more?
1 2 3 4
This is in Damian's pov and thank you to the anon (Not sure if you want me to tell people who you are) who had given me a supply of ideas so this is most likely not the ending but it is to the main storyline.
Damian through this entire fic--what sorcery is this? *His feelings.*
TW: Talks of abuse, the after scene of sex, self-doubt, Damian trying to figure out emotions, idiots in love, an open ending, and Damian finally making his own decisions.
He couldn't sleep that night, Damian didn't know what it was or if he could exactly pinpoint where this restlessness was coming from but all of the inevitable signs that he kept ignoring kept pointing to you. You, tucked into his side with his arm around you almost protectively, hand occasionally playing with his shirt--his shirt that you were wearing, the shirt that he had put on you.
This weird feeling would come to him while touching your skin, both inside and outside of him and it was coming from you as a whole. A flutter almost in your skin, he had already deduced that it wasn't your breathing but it was something else and he thought back to the story of how you had woken up on a random roof, one of the many causes of your plenty arrest and run-ins with the cops.
He thought about that, he wondered how you had done so but you had never said how you did so and he estimated that you didn't know either. Perhaps it was a survival tactic that your body had given yourself, to protect you from those that would wish to harm you but he didn't wish to harm you and he wouldn't do so on purpose--even accidentally if he could help it.
In this moment, this moment of silence and almost calm serenity that filled his usually tense and cold room, he could only think of this weird feeling that was being built up in his stomach. This aching, wanting, and pleading feeling that he was having whenever he was near you, this feeling to touch, to hold, to kiss, and--for whatever reason--to love.
It didn't feel right to him and tucked inside of his brain where all of these different voices rested during the night to torture him during the day, he could feel them getting ready to overlap and yell at him for this very thing that he was feeling. He could feel his mother getting ready to scold him, telling him that what he was feeling was nothing but weakness and he should cut out this weakness before it eroded and soured everything that she had built up in Damian.
Then it was his grandfather, the great and powerful Demon's Head that was telling him the same thing but was also twisting it in this foul way that made him flinch. This voice wanted him to use you, to try and find everything that you were capable of and harness it, tune it until it was as sharp as his blade, and turn it against everyone, even you when the time would come.
His father was the softer voice for once, not in tone or meaning but in what his own opinion was about what he felt for you, about you, and what the others felt. His father, his own moral compass, was telling him it was alright to feel this way, to want to let you in and to coddle and protect, to share secrets with you, he was telling him to be everything that no one else was to him for you.
Damian found himself at a crossroads, torn between his father and his mother and grandfather, in between Wayne and al Ghul, just the way he had been since he had arrived at his father's when he was ten. All of the voices were present even when he was young, growing louder and stronger as he got older, his own voice was small and little compared to theirs, barely even there in perspective, never a ruling vote--never a vote at all in the end.
Then that voice started to whisper in his ear, that started a few years after he ended up in his father's care, that voice whispering its own thoughts and ideas, its own ideals and opinions where the other three couldn't hear it in case they would get angry with what that voice thought. This time the voice was whispering truths, as it always was, planting the fact that both his mother and grandfather had fallen in love, had built these things that Damian could barely touch, and had remained just as strong as before with them, why couldn't he?
Grayson had whispered his ear before, had popped up in his brain as a newer voice and guided him all those months ago when fighting Raven's father and a figment of his grandfather. He hadn't wanted to betray his grandfather, ner would and the very thought made him cringe but Grayson's voice had guided him along and made the act for him when he defeated the figment.
The after-effects of the actions were worse, his grandfather's voice shouting out treason and betrayal, shoving his fingers into every small crevice of Damian's own insecurities and flaws, showing them out into the world with the intention of hurting him. You had been in there, his own feelings for you twisted and selfish, he wasn't putting the League, his team or even himself first, that was all because he was nothing less than selfish, undeserving of either inheritance that he would come to hold.
Why must this thing growing in his chest be so terrible that he couldn't feel it, even with it muted and trying to rage over the two who directly opposed and beat it away with all of the power that they held in their grasps? Every time that he felt it grab him he could hear his mother in his ear. "Stupid boy," she would hiss, the same way that she would when he would mess up in his later training, making small mistakes that could lead to death if he wasn't careful. Would this lead to death or destruction if he stayed right where he was with you?
He looked down at you, sleeping away your thoughts and he brushed his hand over your face, feeling you flinch and slightly jerk away at the ghosting touch, so light that most couldn't feel it but you had learned to tune in and catalog everything that touched you, even as you slept. He had found that out the first time that he touched you, he felt you freeze up, body ready to attack if he were to do anything, bow and arrow in hand if needed despite being sloppy and almost useless with it.
Wondering came with all of those flinches, he wonders how bad it was at your home, he ponders over which one of your family members could have done this to you and then he feels this side of him, the so-called demon side of him that Todd likes to call it, that rises up and thinks about returning the favor. Make it fair for them and he members what Starfire had told him when she caught him snooping, looking for files on both Raven and you, she told him that she knew about you was that you were a petty thief who had to fight for her survival after getting kicked out you family's home a few months prior.
Then those thoughts transform into the shock of how much he finds that you two are alike, different people who have gone through alternate but same experiences in your lifetimes. Two people who have only pretended to resent each other or he knows he had tried to resent you, he could remember those nights as he stared up at the ceiling damning the very essence of both you and sleep, neither letting him have an ounce of rest in the very hindsight of things.
He couldn't resent you or those tries had never worked out in his favor, every bad thing that he tried to pull out of your very being only transformed into something that he could look on in a reluctant positive outlook that he found didn't suit him in the slightest. From your snappy and sarcastic mouth to the way that you would space out at random he could pull out the fact that you were caring and considerate when it came to it and that whatever had built up in you had made you always try to please others even when others didn't try to please you in the slightest.
You shifted and Damian looked down at you, he felt something in him relax and soothe the longer his eyes laid on you and without meaning to, he could feel his lips curl up into a smile that he couldn't put down, his own autonomy working against him. His eyes roamed over you, that feeling of relaxation keeping hold of him as he kept looking over you, the very feeling of your hands against his naked body felt soothing on its own.
He remembered the way that you had traced the scars that had built up over the course of his life, the ones that had been inflicted by his own mother or grandfather, the ones handed to him accidentally by his father's wards, and the ones that he had been given by the rouges that swarmed the streets of Gotham and Jump City. He felt the pads of your fingers trace them and his immediate instinct had been to grip your wrist so hard that it snapped in half, to yell and insult you until you fell into tears but the thought of doing it made him recoil.
Instead, he let you touch him, feel him as you went, ghosting over each one still trying to not fully touch him and murmuring a sorry whenever you felt your fingers actually touch the skin. He had felt weak while on his back, he could hear the two opposing voices in his head yelling and scolding him for being in such a vulnerable and compromising position but Damian had done something that he rarely found himself doing, he ignored both his mother and his grandfather in the favor of letting go just for a split moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The team found you two this morning, you curled up in his sheets in nothing more than his shirt and your underwear and him with nothing but a towel covering his hips. Damian should have known that they would, when he checked the time he himself had been appalled by how late it was in the morning for him specifically. Though with you, it was normal and he could remember his words when he was told that.
Lazy, he had called you and in his mind, it was just another showing of how you had no place on this team, not as a member, not as an associate or helper, on those first few days you were nothing more than a burden put on this team. He had never seen you fight either, asking the other proved to be fruitless as they had only seen you fight the first day that you were here and then you had refused to fight in front of others since.
Embarrassed by how pathetic it was, he had thought and he thought back to the other night when e had helped you with the bow and arrow, you had been distracted and it had made you sloppy but he had snuck in when he was sure that nothing was bothering you but still, you failed to hit the mark. It was then that he thought you to be useless, your invisibility being the only thing good about you but you couldn't walk quietly and had the tendency to slip and fall over everything and anything without even trying.
He didn't see your appeal, why the others defended you when he had something against your very presence in the team, blind loyalty had been expected but not to the degree that they couldn't see how horrible you were at everything you tried. He didn't see your appeal until later that night when he had been forced to go to the fair with the rest of you, he had much stronger opinions than the ones he had given about going to the fair but he supposed that it was a good time to study each of his new team members.
It had been you that he stuck to the side of, it wasn't purposeful but it had happened so he had kept an eye on you throughout the night watching as you looked around the fair with mournful glances and a sad approach to everything that you had done. Up on the Ferris wheel he had watched as you looked down over the side, wonder and hard thinking coming through you and he had stopped it, there was no use for it, and not so public where everyone could see how weak you were on the outside as well as the inside.
Then there had been the cotton candy, pure sugar was what that was, would rot his teeth if he kept eating it but he would look over at his nightstand in the days to come and take a pinch, eating it and finding some parts of him enjoying the sweet sugary taste that it brought. He also saw himself thinking about the small confession about your family, you had been abandoned, left alone for a few months where you had gotten caught and thrown in holding for the night before you had gotten caught and taken by the team and haven't left yet.
It wasn't a puzzle, you weren't some kind of confusing puzzle at the end of the day but he still found himself confused at the sudden interest in you in himself. Then he had felt a certain urge, an urge that he had acted on that he knew he shouldn't have but he did so anyways, it was stupid and careless of him but never had he felt the urge to do something so stupid and so careless again in all of his years of truly living.
He watches as you shuffle off of the bed, grabbing the phone that rested on your lap first and then grabbing your pants as soon as your feet hit the ground. "I should be going," you said, your voice filled with embarrassment and Damian turns around but he knows that your not looking at him, probably can't from how red your cheeks were from the team bursting in.
Damian's sure that in a couple of minutes, he's going to get a phone call from Grayson, asking him to 'spill the beans' as he puts it, wanting to know what is going on with you two and he is already forming a plan in his head to get back at Starfire for even telling him what the banished alien princess had seen. He can already see the other phone calls he's going to get from his brot--his father's wards, all of them asking what they can, he reminds himself to threaten Grayson to not tell the others about what had transpired this morning.
Turning around, he widens his eyes a bit when he sees your breasts or more so the marks that covered them before you put on your bra, covering what he had done to them and Damian felt a weird sense of discontent at the actions but waved them away as nothing. He watched as you bent down and grabbed your shirt, the long sleeve was inside out so you wrestled with the fabric for much longer than needed before putting it on.
You looked up, eyes meeting his own and Damian hoped that his cheeks didn't flush with pink from the sheer guilt and slight embarrassment at getting caught looking at you despite you not knowing how long it had been. He followed your hands as they went to pocket your phone, watching as your pinky disappeared for a second, coming back a moment later but he knew that your nerves hadn't settled, perhaps you had just felt your appendage disappearing, or if it was just a chance of something in you making it come back.
You looked at him, almost expectant, he knew what you wanted but he also wanted to see how long it would take you to snap and get frustrated at his silence. "Are you going to say anything or not Damian?" Not long at all, with your frustrated sigh and the aggravated words coming from your lips. "This isn't like the movies you know," you said, your face serious but he could hear the underline joking under it, the poking and prodding that you two have done since that first meeting.
Hiding his amusement, Damian moved so that he was now slightly leaning on the desk that was placed in his room prior to him residing in it. "Did you sleep well?" He asked, continuing his question from before, this time without disruption.
The nod that he received showed that you were pleased enough, not getting exactly what you wanted but close enough to be satisfactory and he watched as you ran a hand over your face with a small unintended laugh. "Like a fucking baby," you replied, giving him the information that he already knew from you being tucked into his side.
He nodded at your answer, crossing his arms and ignoring how your eyes cast down to the towel around his waist made him feel on his face rather than just the inside of him that felt something akin to what he felt when he was inside of you last night. "That's good." Your hand when to the front pockets of your jeans, you weren't uncomfortable, he knew what uncomfortable looked like with you, this was more uncertainty and he wasn't sure what about. "Can you turn around so that I can get dressed or were you planning on watching?" He asked, a smirk forced itself on his face, unable to contain itself, much like the smile last night.
He watched as your face grew confident, hands going into your back pockets now and pushing out your chest, a cocky look on his face that made him want to laugh, knowing how quickly it would go away. "I could," you teased out. Damian looked at you, a challenging look on his face before slightly shrugging his shoulders and starting to undo his towel.
He stood there, slightly shocked at how long it was taking you to back out but it wasn't until he started to actually take it off that you had done so and Damian stopped himself from chuckling at your actions. "I'll see you later, have to deal with the vultures," you said, excusing yourself, not looking at him as you left and Damian only shook his head, turning to his closet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were correct when you said that the team were vultures, attaching their attention to him as soon as he entered the room, not saying anything, most likely out of fear of what he would do. They had stopped after a few moments, only glancing at him and whispering to themselves every few seconds.
Damian found you sitting with Raven, it was the most obvious choice of your sitting partner along with himself and maybe it was your knowledge that the purple girl would only ask once and would back off if you told her to. Raven wasn't a bad friend to him, he had been suspicious of her when he first met her, the witch being something that he wasn't used to and that first night when he thanked her for healing him had been a doorway for, what he childishly hoped, a long and prosperous friendship.
Sitting next to you, he found himself confused as to why he scooted his chair closer to yours, trying to make sure that at least the skin on your elbows touched or at the very least, your arms were touching each other. It was strange but it was the back of his mind that thought so, everywhere else in that organ of his thought nothing of this, this was what was right and this was what he needed to survive the morning.
A glass of milk was slid toward him and a quick flash of a smile from you was directed toward him from you as you held his own carton of milk. He had refused to share one with Garfield after watching him drink it straight from the carton like the animals that he shapeshifted into. It was disgusting and that very afternoon Damian had retrieved his own milk and threatened Garfield to not touch it or else he wouldn't be touching anything ever again and that would be very sad for both him and Raven.
Damian grabbed the glass and drank from it, watching you and Raven talk about nothing and everything at once. Useless chatter he had said once, his grandfather and mother had put that into his head and he still believes it but he could listen to you talk about nothing and everything for hours, that proved to be truthful on those nights that Raven wouldn't join you two.
You leaned back into your chair, briefly disconnecting your skin to his own and he wanted to put it back instantly, fix that small issue quickly and spend the rest of his morning in whatever peace he could manage. His peace being the eyes of the team looking at you two, still in a frenzy about what they had seen that morning, and you and him having skin contact for the next few minutes that you two would eat and socialize before going to the training room.
It sounded like a nice morning, a quiet and fulfilling morning that he hadn't had since his broth--father's wards had completely entered the picture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damian had found himself, over the years, growing fonder of Grayson than he should have been. Looking up to his father's eldest ward as the time ticked by, the man being someone who Damian felt he could actually lean on instead of pushing against in a defense to his own pride.
Grayson--Richard--had been there for Damian even when he shouldn't have been, refusing to be pushed away by him and always finding a way to worm his way under Damian's skin. Even now as Damian swiped through the holograms, warming up before the others arrived, his phone rang and Damian already knew who it was.
Swinging his sword through the last hologram, Damian sheathed his sword and walked toward where his phone was, pressing the answer button without looking at the caller ID. "I should have known that the alien would call you," he said in a greeting to Grayson.
A scoff came through the phone, a bit scratchy and Damian could only guess where Grayson was that the reception on his part was horrible.
If he estimated, probably be Todd's apartment.
"Probably and don't call Kori that," he said, defending the woman that Damain had caught him kissing on numerous occasions.
Damian looked down at the floor and shrugged to himself and at Grayson's words before sitting down on it. "Why not? That is what she is am I wrong?" He asked.
"It's rude, would you like it if I called your girlfriend a ghost?" Grayson pointed out and Damian could feel himself growing the type of annoyance that Grayson did when he called Kori an alien. Though he was more upset that Grayson did not call her what she actually was in difference to the fact that Damian was correct about what the alien was.
Rolling his eyes, Damian gave himself the freedom of slight rest and stretched out his legs. "She isn't a ghost as to where yours is an alien," he pointed out.
"Not that much of a difference than you think Damian." The sharp word rolled off of Damian, Grayson's slight anger was nothing less than unneeded and Damian treated it as such. "Anyways, when did you two get together? Kind of hurt that you didn't tell me first," he said, acting offended.
A scoff passed through Damian lips, you and he were not a couple and wouldn't be until something would give and he couldn't see that happening until one of you blew up again. "We are not together, we had." Damian felt almost ashamed of saying it out loud, not for the act alone but admitting that he gave in to his wants. "Sex after a confession and have not talked about it since," he said, choking on the first word. "And she's not my girlfriend," he added defensively.
A small teasing laugh came from Grayson and Damian thought about ending the call right then and there, "You keep saying that but I don't believe you," he said jokingly.
Damian rolled his eyes and stared at the training room walls. "Grayson if you don't get to the point of this conversation I'm hanging up," he threatened.
Another laugh came from the phone and from Grayson himself. "No fun. Are you going to ask her out?" he asked.
A frown etched itself into his face, Daian should have expected for Grayson to bring up a topic that he had avoided confronting with himself. "Haven't decided," he admitted to his closest confidant.
A gasp came from the other man. "What? What do you mean you haven't decided?" He asked bewildered by Damian's actions or the lack of.
"I would have thought someone as old as you would know what that means but if I must define it to you I will," he replied monotonously to Grayson, hoping that he would drop the topic but he should have known better with the man on the other side of the phone.
"Oh, I know what it means. Just why wouldn't you, clearly you like her and apparently she likes you as well," he said, confusion lacing his voice heavily.
Resisting to sigh heavily was a task that almost proved useless of how much Damian felt that he needed to use the sound rather than words to explain himself. "No use, she would be nothing but a distraction and she has proven so already," he said, admitting that you had been distracting him, more than needed but nothing that was unwanted by anything but the voices of his mentors.
A sigh came from the other side of the phone. "Look Damian, I get that your mother and Ra's had put something into your head that this, what your feeling is bad but it isn't. Crushes don't make you weak, and neither does liking someone," Grayson said and Damian felt himself being struck by the words and not liking that one bit.
A rise of needless anger rose up in him, replacing whatever he was actually feeling and he wasn't going to try and fix that. "If you have a point, Grayson, I'd tell it," he demanded.
"What I'm saying is, you should tell her baby bird, make that decision yourself don't let B or Talia or Ra's make it for you for once," Grayson said before hanging up, leaving Damian to think about his next move in whatever he had going on with you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole day had been wasted on thoughts of you and the overlapping screaming voices of his mother and grandfather, his father a more quiet booming voice but all three had managed to give him a headache. The headache had made him weaker in training, almost being defeated by Garfield and almost being destroyed once more by the bug after he had put its host down on the mat. Raven had come close, too close for his liking and the nick on his arm reminded him of his own failures. She shouldn't have been able to even touch him but she did.
It was all your fault, you made him weak and thoughts of you made him get hurt like he did against people who shouldn't have been able to even get a hand near him. You made him this way, you made him weak and touchable.
You made him feel like a boy: childish, weak and--
Normal, you made him feel normal instead of what he really was but in some ways, he didn't himself minding it as much as it should. He should be furious with you and he should take the advice his mother's voice had given him in his head, he should kill you and get it all over with and done.
It didn't sound very tempting or exceptionally pleasing but he should, get it over and done with before he got too attached and wouldn't do it no matter how much he should in the end. It should be a quick death, fast and painless, it was his own fault that he had gotten distracted with you no matter how much he wanted to blame you for his own downfall.
Footsteps came from behind him, they weren't as loud as Garfeilds and not as light but still noisy as Raven's. They were in between, enough practice and you could be just as silent as he was, it would improve your invisibility.
Damian was struck with a certain thought, he wondered how you fought. He had never seen you properly fight, your invisibility was enough for him to not see how you did so when you two fought side by side. From his observations, while doing so, he wondered if you tricked your opponents more than using combat, if you knew any at all.
Trickery seemed something you were exceptional at lately, perhaps you used what you used on him on them, making them falter at every turn.
You stopped behind him and Damian pretended that he didn't hear you and by the tapping of your foot, you knew he was doing just that. Observation was something else that you were surprisingly good at with him, you should be able to use that with everyone but you hadn't. Maybe he was just obvious or you chose not to, stubbornness making you sloppy.
Placing his hand on the doorknob to his room, Damian waited for you to say something. "Hey," you said, he could hear the waver, the loss of whatever confidence you had built up in you dying before those words had come from your mouth.
Turning around, Damian instantly crossed his arms but kept his back straight, hoping that the defensive position would stop from whatever you had in your possession from getting to him. "Hello, can I help you?" He asked. His tone was quite rude and despite his crossed arms protecting him from you, he still felt a pang of guilt from sounding so when he could see you losing even more confidence at facing him.
It wasn't right, he had done this before and had never felt guilt, never felt bad about saying these types of things to Grayson or Todd, definitely not to Drake who, in his own mind, deserved it. With you in front of him, with this sick and twisted feeling that had been growing in him for almost a year, it had made him feel this way and once more, normalcy seemed to be a common thing that you made him feel.
A scoff came from you, your own small defense against him that he had seen, one of many that would cause you to yell and get angry for no other reason than nothing. "I see you're still an ass, shouldn't have seen that changing," you replied sarcastically, head tilting in that way that made his stomach flutter, sure that every time he needed to throw up but nausea never came with that motion of yours.
He looked at you, face blank and an eyebrow raised, wishing that you couldn't see what you do to him as a person as a whole. "No, you shouldn't have," he said, winding if he should a 'duh' to the end of it the way that Todd would but he refrains from doing so. His father's second ward did it much better than he would, the dramatic that he is.
Now comes the part where you would tap your feet and your hands would go in and out of visibility, displaying your nerves to ask the original question so clearly and you had no idea that it was happening. "How does coffee sound?" You asked and he was almost struck with the idea to call you adorable in the way that you said it so meekly, yet another thing he refrained from, bashing his mind for even wanting to do so in the first place.
Nodding, Damian ignored the hope blooming in your eyes, the same hope that had taken over them last night before you two had branched to other activities. "It sounds nice," he said simply to your shy prospect of a date. Not that he would find it as one, he would rather take you somewhere more quiet and less crowded than a cafe. An art museum perhaps, you both liked art and maybe your jokes about them would make the whole thing better than when he would go alone.
He watched as you fought a smile, batting away his own in favor of watching you struggle to hide your excitement. "I know a cafe in Jump City," you mentioned nonchalantly, trying to pass off your expressions as nothing more than nothing, trying to hide what you were feeling and not doing a good job at it.
"Is it good at least?" He asked. Damian knew which one you were talking about, he and Grayson had built up a tradition of going there whenever he would visit. The tea was alright and everything else was adequate, nothing exceptional but nothing to complain about. He found it a good place to rest some days, he would sit there during the nights when the voices pounding in his head became too much to bear, the cafe was usually quiet and not very full whenever he would visit.
You nodded, your visible hands coming out from your pockets and starting to wave around as nerves went from invisibility to hand-talking. "Yeah, me and Raven go at least once a week," you said, mentioning your mutual friend.
A small hum came from the back of Damian's throat, consideration taking hold of him and he hoped that to this question you were going to say no. "Is she going with us or not?" He asked.
A small laugh came from you, hands still swinging about in perfect portrayal of what you were feeling, almost too easy to tell but still that feeling to call this act of vulnerability adorable came back to him. "No, she's not, it's a full moon tonight so she's getting ready," you explained to him, feet starting to tap now that your hands weren't saying your words better than you were.
He nodded, opening his door to go and grab a jacket, the windy weather making it chilly outside. "I see, let us be on our way then," he said, starting to head inside of his room.
"Now?" You asked bewildered and Damian looked at you, your wide and shocked eyes meeting his own calm eyes.
He let go of his doorknob and fully faced you. "Is that not why you brought it up." He walked closer to you, a small smirk from that morning coming back onto his face. "Or would you rather we do something else before we leave?" He asked, fully ready to take you by the head and smash his lips to yours, saving the small date for after he would take you to the museum.
To his disappointment, you shook your head. "No-no that's fine," you stumbled out, flustered at his meaning.
He nodded going inside of his room for his jacket and once he stepped through the threshold of his door the scolding inside of his head started.
Weak, one of them shouted.
Pathetic, another one joined.
He could hear his mother telling him that he was doing something that would break him later, demanding that he should end this useless charade and take out the thing n him that was making him act so weak. His grandfather approached the thing with a different view, wanting to use you like he had mentioned last night and Damian couldn't hear a trace of his father's or Grayson's voice, his grandfather and his mother drowning them out.
Damian shook his head as he opened his closet, grabbing his red jacket from the hanger that it rested on. He wanted to bat them out, make the voices leave him alone as he enjoyed himself with you. To do so he knew what he needed to do but, if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he could do so.
Years after years had he been under the stern and governing hand of his mother and grandfather, never letting up and expecting nothing but perfection from him as a young boy. His father hadn't or he had but not from him, Damian never truly lived up to the Robin name he bore, he knew that and so did his father.
Grayson had been stern but not expecting perfection, never too hard on Damian but never soft either, the almost perfect mix of what he needed and what he had growing up. Grayson had gotten to him more in the year that he took Damian's father's mantle, Batman had been Grayson's and Damian had taken on Robin and he felt more in place than he had in those years he spent by the side of his father.
Now, he would have to make his own choices without the guiding hand of his mother or grandfather or even without Grayson who had pestered him earlier about it relentlessly. Pointing out Damian's flawed upbringing from his mother and grandfather, an upbringing that was still impacting him so many years later.
Damian slipped on the jacket and started to walk toward the door where you were waiting, making his final decision.
This one, all by himself.
180 notes
·
View notes
Text
so in between the power outages and taking care of my grandma I rediscovered a book series
- it takes place in Moscow, starting in 1991
- yes, that’s the very end of the Soviet Union and the very start of the, uh, Bandit Nineties. The economy going to pieces, organized crime surging. Unless I’m mistaken, the organized crime wave ended with the successful crime bosses all becoming legitimate businessmen/politicians, so, you know, yeah. The organized crime won that one.
- (yes, I’m referring to Putin and his crowd. However, the book doesn’t. All the politicians are made up and whenever ‘the president’ comes up, he is left nameless. It’s not political except in acknowledging realities of the time)
- the main character is a cop, in the murder investigation department
- no not like that
- the main character is a thirty-two year old woman (at the start, the series continues iirc into her fifties)
- she is not athletic, has a bad back and bad blood circulation. Also anxiety / impostor syndrome, though that’s mostly unrelated
- she is an analyst, hired by a department head who decided to lean into the whole “we are not legally allowed to do police brutality anymore” thing and do things the smart way instead
- notably, the writer has, actually, herself worked in that, ah, industry, though I believe not in that specific postion. Still, she knows how it works, from formal organization to interpersonal dynamics
- the books are not traditional murder mysteries per se, in that we get clues alongside the main character and have the chance to decipher what really happened along the investigation. The story is multi-POV, shifting not only between the mc and her coworkers, but also between the investigation-ees, including frequently the murderer, frequently immediately named such in the narration. Of course the audience doesn’t get all the answers immediately, but still, it often becomes obvious who did it to the readers way before it does to the mc, and the tension lies more in “will she figure it out, and will it be in time for [...]”
- basically it’s a psychological drama centered around murder investigations
- the series is not what I would call copaganda, on any level. The mc herself does not take bribes (nor is she usually offered them, being too low in the hierarchy), nor does she really take full advantage of the “acquaintanceship” system the whole, er, society runs on, due to aforementioned anxiety / impostor syndrome. But the series is VERY frank about how the system works (not that any Russian/post-soviet reader is surprised by that, as it is VERY frankly how it works. My family has had nice things because of where our family members worked and who they knew, too), and the main character does go through acquaintances instead of official channels to find out information (often information that’s technically illegal for them to give her) approximately half the time. It’s Just How The System Works. Her boss runs on full acquaintanceship system, too, and there’s at least one investigation they “win” by acquiring blackmail on a politician through a con. (A rapist was being protected by his politician relatives...) Police brutality is acknowledged as a thing, Though It’s Illegal Now. Not defended, not condemned, just... there as part of the setting.
- the main character and her coworkers genuinely care about justice, putting away murderers, and so on. However, the series explicitly goes out of its way to reject black and white morality. The criminals are not “the bad guys”, the cops are not “the good guys”. It’s more... law vs chaos. It’s brought up that apparently some of the criminals the mc’s boss had put away later came to see him with a bottle of alcohol because in the process of investigation / arrest he got them out of a bad situation / saved their family / etc. Approximately all of the police structure is hopelessly corrupt, in the sense that the mc’s boss is also very much expected by his colleagues and superiors to play along - and he sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t, depending on the situation. In the case of a guy who raped a 12 year old girl he doesn’t, see the blackmail situation above. He’s buddies with at least one crime boss, with a “you know and I know but you just try to catch me” relationship. (He also lies shamelessly to that crime boss for a scheme where they get a chance to catch an assassin normally protected by the organized crime system)
- the main character’s love life is... very queer. Nobody’s gay (in the main cast, there are gay that-book-only characters later) (unless I forgot someone gay in the main cast, which is possible), but the mc is VERY on the aroace spectrum (complete with the “I’m not a woman, I’m a computer” “I am incapable of normal human emotions” not-quite-angst-as-she-has-just-accepted-it-as-fact-and-is-comfortable-with-it), and her overall situation is very Like That. She’s in a long-term sort-of-relationship with a childhood friend who has a crush on her, but also gets crushes on other women all the time, only to burn out quickly and come back to her complaining about his disappointment in women in general who are not her. This is normal and she is very comfortable in the relationship. Eventually (into her forties I think) they actually get married, because she gets the epiphany that she’s actually happy with him and loves him very much, and romantic feelings can get fucked given she’s not had any since teenagehood. She also sometimes sleeps with men who are not him, and flirts with more, sometimes for work, sometimes for personal reasons, only to inevitably conclude that yeah she’s Too Aroace For This. Zero jealousy is involved.
- other arrangements along these lines also come up in various books, and I think it’s this series that opened my mind way back when to the concept of “marraiage as a platonic cohabitation agreement”. A gay guy who’s married to a woman who has her own adventures and he his own, and they’re best friends and partners and each other’s shoulder to cry on about romantic troubles - this happened at least once.
- the series is occasionally stereotypically “crazy psychopaths” ableist, it certainly is in the first book, but overall it leans more towards a very... incisive take on people just being That Way (with no particular terminology involved). Like the main character’s anxiety (and probably autism tbh, though the writer seems unaware of the concept)
- there are many topics like that. Fatphobia gets a whirl many times, visibly without the writer having any idea that the topic is somehow political or controversial. She’s just writing what she sees, you know? Same with homophobia etc. The writer’s mission is to give black and white morality kick in the nuts and just write How Life Is, and she is just. Very good at it.
- like, the criminals aren’t always The Bad Guys. At least one murderer is a teenage girl who was abused by her father and so desperate to escape, she did Very Stupid Things (if wearing lipstick is as bad as murder...). Her father has understandable motives in turn, though not in an excuse way. The narrative is just genreally very... non-preachy and non-judgemental towards people involved, even people like professional assassins and (worse) professional big bosses who don’t give a second thought to stealing/conning people, and when caught in a blackmail situation because of it only hesitate some before escalating to murder over it, and mostly because of “what if I get caught”
- the understanding of everything is very... societal/systemic, in a very good way. No Shit People Who Live Here Are This Way, the books say every time, while also saying People Have Different Personalities And That’s Normal (and It’s Not The Personality That Makes A Murderer, It’s Personality In Systemic Context)
- like, it’s just... so good, holy shit. While also occasionally being bad in places where the writer is just kind of making shit up and the ignorance is audible (see “psychopath” ableism - the writer is doing her best to write her characters as people with coherent motivations and logic, but she just doesn’t know enough to nail it)
- there is so much... sympathy for like... mundane life situations. A character who’s driven to being an absolute piece of shit by living conditions of “five people in a single-room apartment including a disabled elderly relative you Have to take care of”. And nobody’s demonized? Like. Situations that just suck for everybody involved and nobody’s to blame, particularly. And if someone is, they still get sympathy.
- like... there’s a character who was denied an opportunity in Soviet Union because of the systemic antisemitism, but the guy who got to break her the news was very awkward about it and didn’t want to say the antisemitic thing, so he was ableist about it instead. Oops. That person is a bit character who played an unquestionably negative role, but they still get sympathy from the narrative for their choices - they said the worse-for-this-particular-person thing while trying to avoid, you know. The other thing that’s also very bad.
- i would like to reiterate that the main character is an autistic aspec woman with chronic illnesses who starts at thirty-two and progresses into her fifties over the course of hte narrative.
- (she loses her impostor syndrome along the way, as the book series is very much the “genius detective figuring it all out from tangential clues” genre and her achievements and reputation mount)
- oh yeah, to say that the series tackles sexism is to say that Karl Marx’s “Capital” tackles economic inequality. “People underestimate women and they really shouldn’t” is, according to the writer’s foreword, the original idea that sparkled the premise for the first book and then also the entire series. (”People underestimate fat women and they really shouldn’t” appears as a consistent sub-theme later on as a new prosecutor character enters the scene at some point and sticks around.)
- like, holy shit guys. I hadn’t realized how good it is (despite the... The Flaws...) until this reread...
#books#literature#marinina#theres also a tv series based on the books but i have no idea how good it is#i dont watch tv#anastasia kamenskaya my beloved
52 notes
·
View notes
Note
How dobyou think the mercs would react to getting yelled at?
Mercs getting yelled at:
Pyro:
-Really sad.
-Thinks that they are now a failure.
-Will cry.
-Or just kill you.
-Doesn't deal with it well.
-Very emotional.
Scout:
-Usually yells back.
-Escalates the arguments, doesn't even try to stay calm.
-After the argument they will get really sad.
-Although he does get mad, they still hate being yelled at.
-It makes them feel likes crap.
-Usually will cope by running or working out for hours, and then will ignore whoever they argued with until they apologize or until like a week passes.
-If it's something they're especially sensitive about he might even cry.
-Maybe even angry cry.
-Deals horribly.
-Will reluctantly apologize if they person also ignores them or is visibly hurt.
-If they person who they argued with comes up to him first, he will also reluctantly apologize.
Spy:
-Acts like they don't care.
-Usually will argue back and just add fuel to the fire.
-Has ended up in full blown shouting matches over dumb things.
-Will cope with this by smoking and drinking.
-Usually will just ignore the person, but if the person never apologizes, he will suck it up and say a half-assed sorry.
-Has been getting better with admitting that they're in fact wrong sometimes.
-Doesn't like apologizing, its hard for them but they will do it.
Engie:
-Tries to defuse the situation and turn the argument into a calm discussion.
-Really hates yelling since during his childhood yelling = violence
-If he can't he'll just try to walk away from the situation or take a break so they can properly discuss it.
-Will snap if the other person prevents them from doing this.
-And when he yells, he YELLS.
-The first time anybody heard him yell was after Soldier did something really dumb that almost got him caught by the cops.
-By the end Soldier was in tears and Engie was frantically apologizing over and over again.
-Tries to be the bigger person.
Heavy:
-Similar to Engie and tries to be the bigger person.
-But instead of trying to calm the situation down he just listens until they stop yelling, no matter how long it takes and then asks, "Are you done yet."
-Then he will calmly explain his side of the argument and stop whenever the other person interrupts him.
-Doesn't really mind, or at least that's what he acts like.
-Really hates being yelled at due to childhood experiences.
-Doesn't really cry or get super upset about it though.
-If he does get stressed from it, he will usually just vent to Medic, care for Sasha or just make some comfort food.
-Whenever he gets stressed, he bakes and cooks.
-Deals pretty well.
Soldier:
-Yells back or just gets really sad.
-If it's a random person who he doesn't really care about he will usually just yell as loud as possible.
-But if it's someone he cares about, like pretty much anyone on the team he will get really, really, REALLY sad.
-But only if the person is genuinely mad with him.
-If it's over something small he will just practically be a brick wall.
-Unaffected, still yells but that's a regular thing for him.
-If the other person is actually mad though..
-Will straight up cry.
-And then the team has to comfort and apologize to him.
-But any other person is free game.
-He will yell, (accidentally) start arguments and just be really intense.
-Not very good with these situations.
Demoman:
-Surprisingly mature.
-Will try to deescalate the situation and calm people down.
-Not afraid to step away for a sec.
-But if he's shitfaced they will cry and sob and apologize and just-
-They'll become a whole mess.
-Just very sad.
-And is usually shitfaced soo..
-But other than that deals pretty well.
Sniper:
-Acts unaffected, practically a brick wall.
-Calmly explains his side of the story and just waits for the person to stop yelling.
-Pretty much just seems unaffected.
-Immune to yelling for how long he lived with their parents.
-They yelled.
-A . lot.
-Actually feels like crap and a failure every time someone yells at him.
-But just bottles it up until he bursts.
-Won't cry, at least will try not to.
-Will hunt, smoke and isolate himself from other people.
-The team has picked up on this and does their best to help him.
-Surprisingly affective.
-Whenever someone yells at him, they get fucking death glares (and are maybe even "taken care of") by the entire team.
-Unless it is someone on the team, then they are forced to apologize.
-But over time with the help of the team, that blank face and uncaring response slowly turned into sassy comebacks and introjecting to prove their points.
-They've been getting better, feeling more confident.
-Deals with it pretty well nowadays, now that they have better ways of coping.
-Although they still do seem unaffected by arguements.
Medic:
-Doesn't really get mad or sad.
-And he isn't a brick wall either.
-It's obviously thinking of something.
-You just.. don't know what.
-They just look at you with that.. menacing smile.
-You think that they are planning to kill you.
-Occasionally will get pretty mad if the person was just picking a fight.
-But a majority of the time an unhinged smile will just unsettle the person enough to derail their argument.
-Either does that or just makes really sassy combacks or just jokes around.
-Never really takes arguments or fights seriously.
-In fact, it finds them just sorts funny.
-They've always loved debate and seeing people get mad, so they'll often just act incompetent or make sassy comebacks just to annoy them.
(Sorry for being being dead, i've been trying to improve myself over the past couple of days/weeks.)
#tf2#tf2 scout#tf2 headcanons#tf2 medic#tf2 pyro#tf2 engineer#tf2 engie#tf2 heavy#tf2 demoman#tf2 soldier#tf2 spy#tf2 sniper#tf2 red team#team fortress two#team fortress 2
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
watching through the original dragon ball. here are some of my thoughts so far:
goku gets shot by bulma in the face within the first 5 minutes of the first episode. she empties the entire mag of a pistol, and he's like "owie!" and then they move on. one or two episodes later, she pulls out an uzi and also empties the mag into him, and he's still fine. i make note of this because there have been multiple times where people pull guns on goku & friends and the friends are like "omg goku watch out, they've got guns!!!" and goku isn't just like "yeah, and? i've been shot before, only kinda stings"
goku's a goddamn troglodyte and i love that. there's multiple times where he calls technology "monsters" and "witchcraft", and he seemingly has very little concept of gender or decency. it's a running joke that goku pats people on the gents to tell what gender they are, which would be creepy if he wasn't a goddamn kid and seemingly completely oblivious to anything like that. later on, whenever roshi's being a pervert, goku just doesn't get it, and i'd argue he's kind of ace coded? idk
weird sexualization of bulma. would be fine if she was an adult, but she's like 16. a bit weirded out by this, but to be fair this isn't a unique problem to dragon ball; a lot of people talk about how common stuff like this is in anime/japanese media, but i think that westerners sometimes get a bit xenophobic about it and ignore how our own media frequently has similarly gross stuff. also a bit weirded out by how chichi is like, 10, and is introduced in clothes that look like a bad scifi pinup from the 50s. cringed out of my mind when yamcha was pretending to be into her so she wouldn't be mad at him . there's a bunch of small things that are usually played as gags but have some... uncomfortable, connotations, at least to my eyes. thankfully it never really like, goes all the way like some anime do
it's interesting in retrospect seeing yamcha being the first antagonist that proves to be of any real difficulty to goku, since y'know. he's fucking yamcha. kinda goofy to see him be actually somewhat competent, but to be fair the power scaling in this series is bullshit
agent mai is described by the wiki as being intelligent, but i'd contest that at least a little. you know that old joke that's like, "go hit on people with your ugly friend because then you'll look better by comparison"? i think that she's like, a normal amount of stupid. she could be your coworker at a dead end job who you talk to a lot, and while she's definitely competent at what she does, she's also just like, kind of a ditz. i also think that because she has a relatively serious, dignified manner of speaking, she seems smarter than she actually is. i think this is compounded by how she works with two of the dumbest, most bumbling motherfuckers alive, so her competence seems like genius in comparison. there's one scene near the end of the first arc where pilaf gives them both guns, and frankly if she were any smart she would've just fucking shot him for putting their lives consistently in as much danger as he has. i still love her though
i literally just got to the part with launch and i love her already. maybe it's my "i love the kind of woman that could kick my ass" showing but hholy shit, i love her dearly. like legit, her introduction is hands down the best part of the show so far, i especially loved it when goku beat up those cops. goku really said acab
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Black Bird (Apple TV+, 2022) Review
This show was great and all, but the most unrealistic part of it was Taron Egerton’s prison shirt. Usually prison wear is quite baggy, and for other prisoners in this show it is, but Egerton seems to have a clause in his acting contract that states he has to show off his big muscles on full display. Hence why he wears the tightest prison top possible, and I’m sure Egerton fans are nothing but pleased seeing him tense his guns, but I guess that is realism out the window.
Plot: As Jimmy Keene begins a 10-year prison sentence, he gets an incredible offer: if he can elicit a confession from suspected killer Larry Hall, he will be freed; completing this mission becomes the challenge of a lifetime.
Can’t remember myself getting so riveted by a crime show since....ever. I’m not really one to watch TV crime dramas, however Black Bird is such a well written, superbly acted show that hits themes of deep moral complexity. What really works in this show’s favour is it’s unrelentless well time paced. It doesn’t rush, it is a slow burn after all, however it keeps the central core mystery compelling throughout, as well as having relying upon being a two-hander about two men laying bare their true natures in thorny, anxiety-dripping back and forths.
Taron Egerton is absolutely sensational in this role, and again, I’m not simply talking about his veins sticking out of his muscles. It’s the emotion he shows whenever he listens to Larry’s ‘lies’ and stories, and the true horror and disgust he feels whilst still trying to hold up the act of being his friend. In the last few episodes especially Egerton lays it all dawn raw and its incredible to watch. Paul Walter Hauser is aptly creepy and unnerving as Larry, and his high pitch voice, though amusing and tad funny at first, amplified the uncomfortable notions every time he appeared on screen. Hauser makes Larry an absolutely vile presence, but also the script does this interesting thing where it allows Larry to have a mind-set of a victim, where whenever he does the horrible things he does, he manages to spin it around to seem like he had no choice. As if he was doing in in self defence. And naturally the knowledge and awareness of how messed up he is as a person and his lack of morality make for one of the most unpleasant criminal psychopaths in crime TV for a good while. This series also sees one of the final roles of recently deceased Ray Liotta, as Jimmy’s hard nosed ex-cop father who suffers from the constant feeling of guilt that he has failed his son. Having suffered a stroke, Liotta hits the stammering tone and frustration that comes along with a debilitating incident in a heart-breaking way. Whilst Hauser’s Larry provides feelings of disgust and spine chilling fear, Liotta is both adorable and sympathetic, and it is so sad that we have now lost this acting legend. Sepideh Moafi and Greg Kinnear round up the cast as the detectives trying to figure out the truth outside of the prison walls, and both do splendidly in their roles.
The main thing Black Bird suffers from is it is a tad short. Running at a total of six episodes, it wouldn’t have hurt having an extra episode or two to tie up a few loose ends. There is a guard in the prison who always makes things harder for Jimmy, as well as a Mafia boss who ends up feeling betrayed by Jimmy’s actions, and both of these side-plots end up going nowhere, and I feel should have led to more interesting conclusions. Regardless as a whole Black Bird is a fantastic crime drama. The methodical script is absolutely stellar, keeping you on your toes throughout, and always keeping you guessing. It’s an incredible true story and this is crime TV at its finest.
Overall score: 9/10
#black bird#taron egerton#paul walter hauser#Apple TV#black bird review#2022#streaming#crime#drama#jimmy keene#larry hall#ray liotta#greg kinnear#sepideh moafi#dennis lehane#black bird apple#apple tv+#tv show#2022 in tv#in with the devil#prison drama#mystery#tv series
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, I'm the anon who sent in that ask asking you to explain about the Slappy shanking post, and I just wanted to thank you for answering my ask, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's thought about what he's like in a fight XD
Until I saw that post, I always figured he would have to be one of those people you don't want to run into after dark or down an abandoned alleyway (especially if you owe Nosferatu something/have wronged Nosferatu in some way) if only because while he may not be outwardly malicious towards people, he still seems like the kind of guy that could easily make me disappear after kicking my ass :(
At least now I know to warn my friends not to accept his dinner invites should I go missing in advance lol
Helloooo!! Hiii! I loved your ask. Its always fun to ramble on about headcanons for slappy or hear some from others!
I've thought about Slappy and how would he fight. When I first saw Stair Wars it only confirmed to me that even when he has the opportunity to fight, he figures out a less violent and more obscure way of handling conflicts. He's very passive. Slappy is pretty disliked amongst bikini bottomites so he has every opportunity to retaliate. He just doesn't and he doesn't care to. Even with the kids picking on him in Terror at 20,000 leagues. He purposely chose to scare them in the least harmless way possible.
At most I think he'd take pleasure in folks being creeped out by him or he'd just hold a passive aggressive smile and quietly accept things (like the he did in the mid season finale when grandpat and granny tentacles were making fun of his poem)
If he absolutely has to fight then you know you wouldn't see it. I imagine he'd handle things quietly. Even when he has the opportunity to fight, he chooses a non-violent method in order to win. I can assume he just doesn't want to get his hands dirty. He's wearing a very nice suit after all. I don't think he wants to pay extra at the dry cleaners to get blood stains off of it.
I'm pretty sure slappy can get away with murder pretty easily in bikini bottom if he was to kill. The cops are too incompetent and there's plenty of characters in the show who have a kill count. But I'd rather think that while you can suspect him, there's just never enough proof to conclude it's him. You have a bad feeling about him and nothing more.
Slappy is different from other Peter Parodies. They usually are maniacal weirdos with an insatiable bloodlust. I do want to keep Slappy different. Him just being a seemingly harmless weirdo who usually minds his business or wants to join in whenever he sees something fun. I don't want to go too far with making him more murderous.
Still I think you'd be safe. One thing that's notable about Slappy is that he does try to help whenever he can. He tried applying for a job as an intern for the patrick show, he joined in the stair wars, he took the job managing the phone for the pat-a-thon. I've always sorta headcanoned that he considers SB and Patrick as his ""friends"" they are the only folks who dont seem to be actively mean to him which for him is kindness.
I'm assuming it's a similar case with Nosferatu. And for his friends, he'd do anything for them. Probably even murder <3 but don't worry. I think if you aren't actively mean to his friends then you don't need to worry about him ending you. He can tolerate if you are being mean to him but his friends? Now that's a punishable offense. You might not show up for work the next day. There is no body to conclude what really happened to you.
Anyways I doubt you'd beef with any of them so a walk in a dark alley way with Slappy is absolutely safe. He might try to creep you out by telling stories of murders and stuff that has happened in this alley way but for me that just sounds like a dream💖 if he does decide to kill me then I'd simply thank him <3 with a face like that he could get away with anything. He's too adorable to be guilty <3 even if he did actually commit the crime💕
Jokes aside this convo doesn't include cannibalism. That's a whole different can of worms.
He is a vampire's minion. All other vampire minions like Renfield for example eat bugs and whatever and slowly move up the food chain. Slappy is kinda gluttonous. Who's to say he wouldn't think of eating one of his own kind? Like that Peter Parody Mr. Sydney who was obsessed with finding "a new taste sensation". It's also an effective way of getting rid of evidence hence why you shouldn't accept a dinner invite from him. But would he actually do it? Possibly. Or maybe he likes fucking with you and his jokes about cannibalism get a little too close to comfort. You can never be sure if he really means it or not.
#he seems like a nice guy#Tho fr him murdering is rare but not unexpected#Ask#the spongebob connoisseur#spongebob#spongebob squarepants#sb#spongebon squarepants#spongebob meme#slappy laszlo#Slappy spongebob#Laszlo spongebob#the patrick star show#the patrick show
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Elle Fanning Faceclaim
Tyra Anderson (Mamma Mia 2 OC). Younger sister to Bill, Tyra lives on the island and is thrilled when Donna arrives because it’s someone new, someone to explore with – even if she does have a go at Bill for letting a stranger on the boat and sailing with them, because she could have been a serial killer! She enjoys singing and does so with Donna and the Dynamos from time-to-time.
Freya Driskel (A Darker Shade of Magic OC). Antari best friend to Rhy and Kell, Freya enjoys going on adventures with her fellow Antari when she can; she is trying to chronicle all that happens in the various Londons to create a story for them. She is almost as bad as Rhy for flirting with people. When not travelling she is usually found telling children stories in the hopes of making them smile.
Fallon Everhart (iZombie OC). Childhood friend to Evan, Fallon never really meant to end up working in the same precinct as his older sister, and yet she wouldn’t have it any other way. Glad that there’s a familiar face amongst the sea of people willing her to put a foot wrong as a rookie cop, she can be found in the morgue for a little breathing room. But, when people start turning into zombies, Liv amongst them, she finds herself wondering just what other surprises Seattle might have in store for them all.
Peyton Gleason (Gone OC). Loner Peyton had always wondered what might happen if children ruled the place, always half expected it to go better than in Lord of the Flies simply because she wanted to be optimistic about it all. However, when the adults disappear, and she finds herself face-to-face with a barrier – alongside Sam, Astrid and Quinn – things begin to slowly spiral out of control, and soon she’s left really wishing she’d taken her mother up on the offer of living in Canada instead of staying with her father.
Sadie Moreau (The Raven Cycle OC). Old family friend of Gansey’s, Sadie has always been a part of his quest to find Glendower. She moved to Virginia to help him with the search and found herself a job as a teaching assistant to try and help pay some bills – determined not to fully rely on the bank of her parents. She is thrilled when Blue joins the merry little band, and eager to get Gansey to admit his feelings for her.
Adalyn ‘Ada’ Nystrom (Grishaverse OC). Inferni Ada always hated how confining Os Alta was, and so she runs away, hiding herself in plain sight by joining up with the First Army. Here she meets Alina and Mal, and through a series of events she’d call unfortunate, ends up right back where she started. Refusing to leave her friend’s side, she sticks with Alina whenever she can, even when people like Genya recognise her.
Nadia Olsen (Baby Driver OC). Tech whizz Nadia finds herself caught up in Doc’s crime syndicate purely by chance and yet a part of her loves it, loves the thrill of getting through security systems and proving that not all of them are as well figured out as people might think. She is close to Baby, and the two of them are constantly trying to look out for one another when things go bad.
Siobhan Vickers (Batman movie franchise OC). Orphaned daughter of Bruce’s old friend, she ends up living with the millionaire instead of being sent to an orphanage. As a toddler, Alfred mainly raises her while Bruce is away, and upon her legal guardian’s return she is cold towards him. When the masked vigilante comes to Gotham, and she realises that Bruce’s injuries mysteriously seem to match, she finds herself acting as a kind of sidekick to him when he doesn’t realise that he needs one.
Natassia 'Nat’ Weeks (Lockwood and Co. OC). Lone agent Nat has a talent for sight and most of the time finds herself working with Lockwood and co. purely to keep DEPRAC off her back. She’s an old friend of Lockwood’s and knows about his past. She is an avid baker and can often be found with too many baked goods left around the house – much to her family’s delight and that of Lockwood and Co. as there are always extras.
0 notes
Text
Regarding Windshield Replacement
Seeking auto windshield replacement is not merely a cosmetic transfer. You are legitimately required in most states to take care of your windshield in good condition. Of which is why more than one glass company will end up being willing to work with you and the budget in buy to get the windshield fixed as soon as feasible.
Policemen are sanctioned to pull you over whenever they see that will there is a problem with your windshield. Mobile Tyre Fitting Reading does not necessarily even need in order to be very poorly damaged for all of them to accomplish this. The long, running crack or a small circular bullseye will be enough to draw their attention and earn an excellent regarding you. If an individual are lucky, the policeman only will offer you a warning and tell a person to get that fixed by a new certain date or perhaps face court-ordered fines. In case you refuse in order to fix your car or even take very long to do it, your own car could even be impounded until you get it repaired.
To stay away from this fate, a person should consult a new glass company concerning your issue if your windshield has endured any cracks or even other defects of which might give a cop concern. While a great auto glass plus replacement may end up being expensive, you should compare the price to be able to multiple police penalties or even the lack of your car. If you include the right insurance, your policy will cover payment into a glass company to your auto windshield replacement.
Why You May Need a Windshields Replacement
There are several diverse ways that a person can suffer damage to your windshield. Most people are familiar with the bouncing stone phenomenon. This is the most dramatic approach that your windshield can break. Nevertheless , several other elements can also be responsible intended for windshield damage.
Since any expert at a glass company can tell you, air heat can also participate in a part inside causing you in order to seek a windshields replacement. What may possibly start out like a mere nick may expand due in order to cold or hot weather stress. Inside cold climes, a few people have built the mistake of putting warm water on the frosted windshield inside order to increase the defrosting procedure. This may shatter the windshield, or at least severely harm it.
Just driving a car your car carelessly may also damage the windshield. If an individual go over some sort of speed bump too rapidly or simply drive your vehicle into a new roadside ditch, the particular force in the lump could shatter your own windshield or send out splinters running by means of it. Either way, you need to see some sort of glass company concerning auto windshield replacement unit.
At The A glass Company For Auto Windshield Replacement
Tend not to cringe at the price when the particular glass company notifies you in regards to the expense of auto windshield replacement. It is usually very which the car insurance organization is going to be willing in order to pay for the particular windshields replacement, in least partly. Insurance companies understand precisely how important it is definitely to keep a vehicle in good issue.
The Auto Windshield Replacement Process
? A repairman on the glass company will review the damage and possibly ask you many questions about it before he or she does other things. Repairers will always be particularly concerned concerning the size regarding the damage and whether or not or not it will probably be necessary to repair the windshield or perhaps buy a new toothbrush.
1 note
·
View note
Text
~ Dad Hwang Junho Headcanon ~
First and foremost it’s important to stress that family is by far the most important thing in Junho’s life, he’ll do absolutely anything to keep you all safe
He tries his hardest to fit his work life around his family life, doing most of his shifts during the day so that he can do the school run either side of it
Junho’s big on educating your kids, making sure they know all about road safety and stranger danger so that he can try and worry about them less when they’re out and about
Whenever your kids need him, he’s always there. Junho is a very affectionate dad, plenty of tickle attacks and throws up in the air to keep them laughing
Never misses an event at your kid’s school, if they get an award in assembly or parents evening, Junho is always the proudest one in the bunch
Junho shields his kids from his work a lot, he doesn’t like sharing too much about what he sees around them and risking scaring them
On his desk at work, he has a photo of the two of you and your kids so that he can always see you guys and relax when he’s dealing with a hard case
Speaking of difficult cases at work, if Junho ends up missing bedtime because he’s busy at work, he’ll tiptoe into your children’s rooms when they’re sleeping, with soft kisses being pressed to the tops of their heads to let them know that daddy is home
And then he’ll make sure that he spends time with you too to apologise for leaving you to look after the kids all evening long by yourself
When it comes to your kids, Junho is a bit of a pushover, if they want to paint his nails or draw on him, he’ll usually let them, sometimes even going into work with hot pink nails, having forgotten to take it off
Talking about his family for too long is a definite topic that will make Junho blush, talking about you all is most definitely a weakness of his
Every time he sees you guys, Junho’s stomach knots, he can’t quite believe just how lucky he is to have you all
Your family also absolutely adore Junho, they love the fact that he’s a cop and that he does such a good job of protecting you and keeping your family safe
You love seeing the looks the other mums give Junho when he shows up to the playground in uniform, knowing that he’s all yours
If he misses out on any family occasion, Junho always makes up for it, returning home from a shift usually with your kid’s favourite food to get them smiling again
He treasures everything that your kids make him too, cards, drawings, he keeps the lot in a drawer in his office at work
If you fall asleep in your kid’s room, Junho will always carry you across so that you can sleep comfortably in your own bed and let him look after the kids
Junho loves learning from you, how to cook your kid’s favourite meals, their favourite outfit combos, so that he can do all of the jobs that you do when you’re not there
He loves looking after them by himself too, giving you plenty of time to spend with your friends and family
Junho loves impressing you with how capable he is as well, if he’s not at work he’ll make sure that food is on the table when you and the kids come home
Being careful is his biggest priority with your kids, for example he’ll only push them so high on the swings before his instincts kick in and decide that it’s enough
He loves adventuring, taking them on walks up the mountain or down into the forest, showing them how beautiful the world can be
No one is a prouder parent than he is, that’s the one thing that Junho refuses to be beaten on
You couldn’t believe quite how lucky you were either to be able to call such a loving man the father of your children
Even though he loves being a dad, he never forgets about you either, making sure that at least one day a week is reserved for a date night between the two of you
He often gets caught at work humming along to the theme tunes of the kid’s television programmes that he just can’t get out of his head
Under the stress of work, Junho always makes sure to take the time to appreciate just how happy being at home makes him and how easy it is for him to relax too
Even if he does end up getting himself into trouble, he only ever does it to keep his family and his children safe
If someone dares to say something about his family that Junho doesn’t like, he won’t be afraid to put them in their place
When you want something from him, you get your kids to ask him on your behalf as you know that he won’t be able to say no
All of his friends loved, and hated, how much Junho enjoyed bragging about his family to everyone
Each day he always made sure to end it by reminding you and your kids that he loved you all
He would keep a photo of his family in the back of his ID card so that he had you guys with him when he was at work
He often had a bit of a soft spot for people who were trying to protect their kids, but unfortunately a job was a job for Junho
More than anything else, he loved being a dad, his children were his pride and joy in everything that he did
---
Masterlist
#squid game#squid game imagine#squid game x reader#squid game headcanon#squid game reaction#squid game scenario#hwang jun ho#squid game jun ho#hwang junho#junho#jun ho#wi ha jun#wi ha jun imagine#jun ho x reader#hwang jun ho x reader#kdrama#kdrama imagine
932 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can I request some poly! Shigadabihawks x reader if you don’t mind. You have amazing writing and you have written some amazing poly! I don’t care if it’s sfw and/or nsfw, it’s totally up to you. I honestly kinda wanted to see how hawks and Shigaraki got along in a poly relationship and how they interacted with each other because I can imagine how Dabi and hawks get along or dabi and shigaraki but hawks and Shigaraki would have a odd relationship, y’know. Sorry if this is odd and you don’t know what I’m talking about and I just want you to know that I absolutely love your work. You’re the first person I check everyday when I get on tumblr. 😘
Awwwww!!! You are so sweet, thank you so much!!! Yeah this makes a lot of sense, for the demon au especially I’ve been trying to work on showing off the dynamic between Hawks and Shig. I hope headcanons are okay!
| SFW
- Before you enter the mix, Dabi is really the only holding them together. He started off dating Tomura (who still insists he barely even likes him, usually after they finish making out) and then later Kei joined in. You’re still not sure how it all came to be since you get a different answer depending on who you ask and what mood they’re in.
- Tomura is only a bit tsundere with Dabi and Kei, never you. With you he’s more openly clingy and would never deny how he feels. He wouldn’t say it, but he appreciates you being around whenever Dabi and Keigo make him feel like a third wheel. Keigo has some similar experiences, but he’s just genuinely not bothered whenever Dabi wants to go have some solo time with Tomura. Or you, for that matter. Just isn’t the jealous type.
- They like using you to fuck with each other. If you’re hanging out with Dabi there’s a good chance Keigo will come along and just flat out steal you. Just pick you up and walk off. Because he can. Dabi is fond of teasing Tomura about how much he likes you, despite clearly also liking you. Tomura’s go-to is usually also to steal you, however he likes to get you to come willingly so you’ll blow off whoever you were with to start.
- Keigo and Tomura get along best when teaming up to irritate Dabi. Whether it’s playing keep away with you, hiding his stuff, distracting him when he’s trying to brood and do Dabi stuff, they really enjoy the power of their combined effects on him.
- The three of them teaming up to irritate you is what really gets them cooperating. They’re all gremlins, they steal your clothes to force you into skirts with no panties, they move your stuff around so you have to ask them for help, and that’s without getting into how often they fight over you, although that’s not so much to annoy you.
- Dabi developed a little habit of calling you, Tomura, and Kei his sluts and now he does it no matter who’s around and it’s really embarrassing but he absolutely does not care.
- While most of the time it’s Dabi and you holding Tomura and Keigo together, it’s not uncommon to find just the two of them off by themselves bonding over a common interest or even occasionally making out.
- They each have their own rooms, but you don’t. You bounce between theirs and your stuff is always scattered around. Yes, it’s annoying. No, they won’t let you have your own room. The four of you typically end up sharing one bed anyway, although the room itself changes.
- They’re not shy about the relationship, so it’s fairly often you get teased (albeit lovingly) about having three boyfriends. Toga really likes trying to force you to pick a favorite.
- Everyone thinks it’s creepy. Everyone. But Kei started calling you their “little girl” and just never stopped.
- They don’t really do PDA between themselves aside from the odd hand holding or rare peck on the cheek, but when it comes to you all bets are off. You’re constantly perched in someone’s lap or holding a hand or having your clothes fixed by someone else. To everyone else it mostly looks like they toss you around.
- Sometimes they’ll take you on dates, switching between doing them one on one or with the whole group. It’s hard to get Tomura to go out, though, since he prefers stay at home dates. When he’s not feeling it you’ll usually end up in a blanket fort eating takeout all together.
- One time. one. time. some stranger muttered “slut” under his breath when he saw you walking along in public with them. Dabi charred his ass so fast the other two were pissed at him for not being able to get a hit in.
- Despite all of them being gremlins, they really love you and will 10/10 go out of their way to make sure you know that. Literally anything upsets you and the immediate response is “Tell me why you’re not happy and I will kill it.”
- Most of their more genuine affections are shown in little things they do. Keigo likes to get you guys things, especially snacks he knows you like since he can go in public freely. Dabi is constantly fixing your clothes and hair and making sure everyone’s comfortable. Tomura always touches you softly (outside of the bedroom), always brushing his fingers along your cheeks or resting his head on your shoulder, etc. He’s also the most likely to casually touch the others in public.
- When it’s cold everyone piles up on Dabi and he pretends he hates it, but you always catch him smiling when he thinks no one’s looking.
- Kei loves using his feathers to tease everyone, slipping them under clothes before you can stop them or making them flit around your face. It’s annoying but his laugh is so cute you can’t even be mad at him.
- Tomura’s face always lights up before he can stop it when one of you comes to play videogames with him. He’s really bad at hiding how excited and happy it makes him.
- Since you’re the only girl and they’re kind of sexist, they treat you a lot softer than they treat each other. Doesn’t matter how strong you are, they’ll always think you’re weaker and they need to protect you. It might not seem like it when they’re teasing the hell out of you or tying you up or spanking you, but they go way easier on you than they would on each other in the same situation.
- Literally any sign from you that you’re seriously upset or overwhelmed? Done. No more. Only soft affection and very mild teasing for the week.
| NSFW
- The first time Kei joined in while Dabi and Tomura were fucking, he didn’t even participate. He just watched like a fucking creep. Still does that occasionally.
- They all have relatively high drives and absolutely no shame between each other, so it’s pretty often you’re just casually getting fucked in one of their rooms while another sits on the couch beside you and watches TV. May or may not comment on it.
- Sometimes they’ll make bets about you. See who can get you to cum the fastest one week or try testing how long it takes for you to come to them when they don’t initiate it and which one you pick. How much cum they can stuff you with and plug up before it starts leaking out. And so on.
- It’s very different if it’s just one of them, or if it’s two and which two, etc.
- Dabi likes to manhandle you. He takes his time, makes you wait and beg and then just completely destroys you for hours on end. After, he sits back with a cigarette and lets you cling to him while he strokes you and tells you you did a good job. It pleases him when you’re so fucked out you can’t form full sentences, and he’ll tease you for it for days.
- Keigo is similar in that he likes to tease, but he’s also sadistic. He’ll make you cum on his tongue and fingers until you’re begging him to stop and then he’ll force at least two more orgasms out of you on his dick. Afterwards he watches you twitch and leak his spunk for a minute before giving you god-tier aftercare. Runs a bath, gets you some water, etc. Once you’re clean he encourages you to take a nap, but it’s usually an excuse for him to take a nap because he’s also worn out but trying to hide it.
- Tomura gets too excited to tease for very long, but that’s only directly before the sex. He’ll have his hand shoved in your panties just toying with you for hours while he absently scrolls on his phone. Sometimes he’ll have you get yourself ready where he can see, only to completely ignore you until you let him know he can start. Once he’s going, though, he’s done with all that. He’s drooling, panting, flushed, pounding you into next week. He alternates between kissing you and spitting in your mouth because he’s too wound up to just pick a mood most of the time.
- That’s not to say you don’t have lots of times where it’s intimate and loving, but that’s not really the usual.
- The Dabi/Tomura combination is the more nasty of the three. Kei isn’t opposed to doing stuff to make you squirm when he’s in the mood but Dabi and Tomura l i v e for that shit. They’re almost nightmarish together, 100% okay with piss, impact play, period stuff, all things anal, etc. Of course you’re their girlfriend and they love you so they’re not about to do something that has you screaming or crying for real, but if you’re at least mostly okay with it and they’re confident it’s not breaking you, they’ll do pretty much anything. Anything to get you teary-eyed, begging them to stop, etc. as long as you’re not saying the safeword. For aftercare they’re very gentle and soft as they clean you up and put you to bed. Doesn’t matter what time of day it happened, they’re putting you in bed and snuggling you until you get at least an hour of sleep. When you wake up they’ll get you something to eat and make sure they didn’t hurt you beyond the usual cuts, bruises, and assorted mild scorching.
- Dabi and Kei usually go for more of a good cop/bad cop sort of arrangement. Doesn’t seem so bad until you figure out they switch the roles without any indication of having done that. It’s like they have a sixth sense for it or something. You’ll be crying and clinging to Keigo since he’s been nice so far only for him to bend you over his knee and spank you raw for it; meanwhile Dabi has gone from smacking you around and spewing filth to cooing and stroking your face. Their aftercare is mostly praise, they’ll tell you you did well and make sure you’re okay mentally since some of the stuff they say can get pretty intense. They’ll get you cleaned up and make sure you eat and drink water, and they’ll cuddle as long as you want and won’t go anywhere even if you fall asleep.
- Tomura and Keigo are the most interesting mix. It’s not often that it happens, but when it does they work surprisingly well together. Their different types of degeneracy and patience seem to blur together into a lethal combination that’ll have you getting whiplash from how they toss you back and forth. They’re not usually both participating at the same time; someone has to hold the camera, after all. Aftercare usually consists of a shower, snacks, and either you napping on their laps while they game together or joining in if they didn’t rock your shit too hard. On days when they’ve done this, you’ll notice the two of them interacting more and occasionally taking some time to be alone together…
- When it’s all of them you’re fucking in for it. Depending on the mood it can vary wildly, but for the most part it’s just a complete mass of writhing limbs and moans. You’re tired ten minutes in, more of the focus is on you than anything, you’re forced to cum over and over again, they each cum in or on you at least twice, and when it’s all said and done you’re covered in sweat, cum, possibly blood, and three sweaty, spent bodies. Usually after they have to peel your limp, half-conscious body off the bed and carry you to the bath. They’ll take great care of you, not that you’ll really remember it in your sorry state, and when you wake up the next day they’re more doting than usual. They’ll tease a little about how you’re sore and still just a little out of it, but that doesn’t mean they’re not checking on you and being extra attentive.
- The times when it’s all of you together but in a more romantic way, it’s like being surrounded by pure love. Everyone’s kissing, you’re all tangled together, it’s just really soft and intimate. Doesn’t last as long, but it’s insanely sweet and gooey. When finished, there’s lots of soft caring/cleaning up/cuddling for a while but it doesn’t have the same insane recovery time as usual. After everyone’s taken care of, the guys like to try pretending everything is normal, but it’s obvious they’re more clingy than usual. Definitely all sleeping together in a pile on nights like that.
- Sometimes one will join in just for aftercare. Kei enjoys seeing you a fucked-out little mess, so he’s always happy to help if it means he can see you destroyed for a minute first. Dabi likes the feeling of being needed and being able to care for someone, so he’ll help, especially cleaning you up and getting you dressed. Tomura loves the way you cling after, and likes to cuddle and nap, so he’ll come in late to the aftercare just for that.
#shigaraki x reader#hawks x reader#dabi x reader#shigadabi#dabihawks#shigahawks#shigadabihawks#shigadabihawks x reader#shigadabihawks smut#poly shigadabi#poly dabihawks#poly shigahawks#dabihawks x reader#shigadabi x reader#shigahawks x reader#poly shigadabihawks#shigaraki#hawks#keigo takami#dabi
808 notes
·
View notes
Text
s/o who is scared of spiders
Characters: Daichi, Kita, Kuroo, Oikawa, Bokuto, Terushima, Futakuchi, Ushijima
A/N: This is inspired by my terrifying experience with a spider last night. If anyone wants to know, spraying it constantly with B&BW fragrance sprays is very effective. Now, my bathroom smells like warm vanilla sugar.
✨Daichi✨ would hear your scream and immediately think it’s a home invader because he’s a cop. As he ran towards you, he’s glad he’s done all the exercising he’s ever had to do for this exact moment. Absolutely no one was going to touch you. “What’s wrong?! Are you okay??? Is someone dying??” He assesses the situation and immediately sees you pointing at a small spider in the corner. He’s completely stone-faced (with that look on his face whenever Hinata and Kageyama argued) because he got so worried over nothing; so, he starts to turn away. “Nooo! Please come back!” After much pleading on your part, he’d promptly kill it with a press of his shoe. Clean scene with no evidence. You’re still breathing heavily but don’t worry, he hugs you because you’re his baby. You may be embarrassed because you know that your fear is irrational, but he’s seen a lot of fear in his lifetime.
✨Kita✨ would be running because of the blood-curdling scream. Kita is usually calm, collected, and stoic, but he actually shows worry for the first time in his life. He notices how you’re curled into a ball with your eyes fixated on the mirror. His keen eyes immediately see what you’re freaking out about. “Please get rid of it, Shin!” Yeah, all the anxiety disappeared from his face and a relaxed demeanor replaces it. “It’s only a spider, it won’t hurt you.” “It’s hurting me spiritually.” Since Kita works in the fields, he’s perfectly fine coexisting with bugs so he’d walk past you calmly, pick it up in his palm, and show it to you. Of course, you yell in terror so he just releases it outside, a little farther away from the house. “It’s gone.” “You released it, didn’t you…” He’d nod nonchalantly. “What if it comes back?” “I’ll be here for you.” You sighed but smiled, unable to ever really be mad at him, “We’re making a pillow fort for defense.”
✨Kuroo✨ would be concerned because he’s never heard you scream like that before, not even with him. But as soon as this man sees that you’re freaking out over a spider, this man of science will rationalize that it’s not a threat. Of course, Kuroo would laugh at you at first, but then he’d educate you on why spiders are good for the environment. He would absolutely try his best to make you understand that the specific spider you were scared of at this moment was actually not dangerous whatsoever. He knows that you’d freak out with visual examples of harmless spiders, so he sticks to an audio lesson. By the end of his spiel, you’re okay with spiders. Kuroo would still be in a teasing mode as usual, saying, “I’m so proud of your character development.” You pout, “Can we still evict it, though?”
✨Oikawa✨ would probably hear your screams from across the house and think you’re being dramatic (as if he can totally judge you). So, he takes his time sauntering to you whilst you’re just hoping he’d hurry up. He would literally roll his eyes because it was probably over nothing. But as soon as Oikawa enters and sees the menace, he would scream just as loud and definitely possibly higher than you would. If you could handle his weight, he totally would’ve jumped into your arms at that moment. You two would stare at it from across the room, holding onto each other and crying together. “You kill it!” “No, you kill it!” If it moves an inch, you two are screaming again. Even the spider would be confused by the spectacle because all it did was exist. Meanwhile, you both contemplate relocating to Antarctica (aka the only place without spiders in the whole world). Instead of any drastic actions, you call Hajime to be the savior of the day. Unfortunately, you had to use Oikawa’s phone and Hajime let it ring.
✨Bokuto✨ is concerned at first - as he should be - but then he’d love the spider because it’s small and docile. His eyes would widen like an owl’s in wonder, creeping even closer to the little guy so he wouldn’t scare it. The large man would even pick the little creature up, much to your astounded horror. He also dares to get close to the spider in his palm, whispering, “Hey little guy, was my little owl scaring you?” You’d definitely be offended because it scared you first??? You’re in the corner pouting from frustration and betrayal, watching Bokuto admire it. Soon, Bokuto would absolutely be engrossed in a whole conversation with the spider as if it would reply, so he didn’t see you enter with a vacuum. Now he’s the one screaming because you killed his friend.“STUART, NO! He had a wife and kids!” “Okay, so?” Bokuto is in emo mode until you prepare a funeral for ‘Stuart.’
✨Terushima✨ is all cocky and arrogant when he tries to kill the spider for you. His signature smirk wasn’t even subtle or disguised as concern when he teased, “Awh, does my darling in distress need me?” Now you stop freaking out, opting to glare at him because you just want him to get rid of it. Your hand swats at him, causing him to tease you even more. He’d laugh at your expression and shoo you away with an easygoing smile, “Don’t worry, it won’t be a problem for you anymore!” You’re bouncing slightly in place as you anxiously wait for some relief. Little did he know it was one of those jumping spiders. So when it jumps to another location entirely, he jumps and screams from terror and confusion. Wild TERUSHIMA fled! You sighed in disappointment and promptly closed off that area of the house because your knight in shining armor refused to enter a rematch.
✨Futakuchi✨ would think your phobia is irrational at first, as most do. In fact, he wanted to tease you for it, but the look on your face melted his iron heart. A big pout rested on your lips and your eyes dropped in pure hopelessness. Now, he decided that the perpetrator should be eliminated as soon as possible for you to be happy again. He’d swiftly grab a tissue, kill it in one go, and flush it down the toilet. Let it be known that your phobia had always been made fun of, so your boyfriend killing it without any questions? Futakuchi would definitely notice the sparkling heart eyes you were making at him, so he’d chuckle, “Why are you looking at me like that?” With the most serious expression and tone you asked, “Can we get married now?” He’d chuckle and walk away, not taking you seriously. You’d scamper after him, whining, “No, no, I mean it! Come back!”
✨Ushijima✨ would be really confused by your fear. “Why are you scared of it?” His furrowed eyebrows and confused eyes weren’t mocking whatsoever. So, you knew he was genuine in his curiosity and confusion. After calming yourself down, you’d explain why spiders absolutely terrified you. While many considered your boyfriend to be dense - and to be fair, he was - but he knew the look of fear. He’s seen it with his opponents before. Silently, he just kills it for you. You breathe out in relief, “Thank you! How can I make it up to you?” He’d slightly pout, “Do I scare you like the spider?” Confused by his question, you tilted your head, “No. Why?” “Because you looked like my opponents.” You blinked a few times and began to laugh, “No, no, baby. You don’t scare me at all.” Afterwards, you make him lean in for a kiss, which he gladly accepts as reassurance.
A/N: y’all why did my autocorrect wanna write cow when I was writing Ushijima’s??? It knows bro.
©amesstm on tumblr // pls do not plagiarize, steal, or repost my content w/o permission!! BUT likes & reblogs are highly appreciated :)
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#hq captains#daichi imagine#kita x reader#koutarou x reader#ushijima x y/n#kuroo tetsuro x you#terushima x you#daichi sawamura#kita shinsuke#haikyuu koutarou#kuroo tetsurou#haikyuu terushima#ushijima wakatoshi#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader
236 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Glance Across the Street
Based on this request: “a race oneshot where he realized he’s in love with the reader. she’s doing something (singing, playing with kids, whatever) and he’s awestruck and the boys are teasing him after”
masterlist
Race is mid-conversation with his friends, mid-way through his bag of papers still left unsold. He should be focusing on talking to Albert and Jojo, and he should definitely be trying to get the last few of his papes sold before the night grows too old and he’s out of customers to swindle. He knows all of this, yet his gaze keeps slipping from his fellow newsies or passing bankers to rest on one girl down the block.
Y/N is selling papes too, her grin contagious as she manages to talk even the most persnickety of passersby into purchasing the daily newspaper. Her newsie cap is slightly askew, and Race’s hand twitches by his side as if he longs to fix it, to look down and see her flash him a grateful smile. Honestly, Race is starting to think that he has a problem when it comes to Y/N L/N.
As it turns out, Race is not the only one to notice this: although he attempts to quickly jerk his attention back to the conversation at hand, Albert and Jojo notice the fact that he isn’t quite responding on time and try to figure out what’s got his focus hooked. Albert follows Race’s line of sight and a vicious grin appears on his face. Race tries to look away hurriedly, pretending he was just following the path of a potential customer, but it’s too late- they’ve both seen.
Jojo loops an arm around Race’s shoulders, clasping the other hand firmly over his heart. “Well, if my eyes don’t deceive me, I think Racer here has a little crush.” Race scoffs, pulling away from the boy. “As if. I’m just trying to sell my last papes.” Albert rolls his eyes. “Is that why you haven’t sold one in half an hour? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’se trying to lose money.”
This is a fierce accusation for a newsboy who prides himself on his ability to make any deal to even the most unlikely of customers, and Albert knows it. So, when Race snatches his cap from his mess of blond curls, ready to swat it most brutally into Albert’s head, the red-haired boy is able to easily dart away in time to avoid the killing blow. Race tries one last time, but his attacks fall short when he hears a voice from behind him.
“What’s going on here? Why are you trying to murder Albert?” Race’s eyes widen in spite of himself, and he straightens up hurriedly, slapping his hat back on his head as if he’d just been stretching. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just having a, uh, friendly conversation.” Albert looks positively gleeful over this, but he doesn’t say a word. Y/N raises her eyebrows. “I don’t know about that. I’d swear there was going to be bloodshed.”
Albert may be willing to save him from the fires this once, but Jojo is not so generous. Instead, he casually leans on Y/N’s shoulder, practically savoring the way Race’s shoulders stiffen. Race does his best to ignore this, forcing a casual smile. “Well, maybe Albert deserved it. You know him.” Y/N tilts her head to the side, considering this. “I do know him. What’s he done now?” Albert and Jojo look between Race and Y/N like they’re watching a sports match, curious as to what explanation Race can manage without telling her the true reason for the near beatdown.
Race mentally stumbles for a moment, then comes up with a scrap of something. “He insulted my brand of cigars. I couldn’t have that, could I?” Y/N’s eyes glint with barely contained amusement, and Race thanks everything holy that his excuse held up. “Oh, I get it now. I’m sorry to interrupt the carnage.” Race grabs Y/N’s hand, pulling her away from Albert, Jojo, and their twin mocking expressions to continue walking down the street.
“That’s alright. Now, come on- I think I saw a few tourists. Think we can scam ‘em?” Y/N laughs as she follows him down the block. “Without a doubt. Is that them?” She jerks her chin towards a cluster of families pausing by a florist, all of them in the newest fashions. They practically reek of wealth, which makes them the perfect targets for newsies in desperate need of unloading some papes. Race nods, and Y/N’s grin widens. “Oh, this is going to be fun. Race you there, Racer!”
She takes off down the street, spinning past cobblestones. The sound of her laugh, lighter than a summer breeze, lingers by Race’s side for a moment longer. Although Race knows he should follow her and at least try to sell some of his papes before all of the tourists are gone, he feels stuck in place, unable to do anything except watch her go. There’s a smile tugging at his lips before he realizes it. He tries to stow this a second later, except it’s a little hard to be serious when there’s a girl like Y/N right next to him.
He manages it in the end, as he always seems to do. Race isn’t sure what happened to make him turn into this stumbling mess whenever Y/N’s with him, but the habit keeps seeming to stick. He hasn’t always been like this, it’s only a recent incident, but no matter what he tries Race can’t go back to seeing Y/N as a friend and a friend alone. Sometimes, he wants to knock himself upside the head, hoping that a brief concussion might restore his thoughts, although Race is fairly certain that even this hit might make him even more of a grinning idiot where a certain newsgirl is concerned.
Later that week, Race is hit by that same bout of hopeless staring, although this time it’s even worse than before. It comes over him like a wave, threatening to pull him under entirely. He had been turning the street, walking from one block to another in the hopes of finding some idiot with a purse full of coins who’d be willing to shell out a little more than usual to a newsboy on the street. Maybe this is why his crush hits him so hard- he’d had no time to prepare, nothing to center himself around except this sudden sight of the girl before him.
All of a sudden, there she was, talking to a group of kids she’d met on the street. They stare at her with the same sort of loopy smile Race wears now, like they’d follow her anywhere so long as she gave the word. Honestly, Race may get a little jittery around the Brooklyn boys or the cops when there are too many of them, but the hold Y/N has on him scares him even more than that. He’d do anything she asked of him, no matter what or how. He can’t run from that kind of influence, just go along with it and hope he didn’t get worse.
Y/N crouches down now, the edges of her skirts rustling lightly over the uneven cobblestones. She reaches out a hand to a nearby girl, one who would barely come up to her ribs unless Y/N was kneeling as she is now. The little girl presses a careful coin into the awaiting hand, and Y/N hands her a newspaper in return. Race can see her pointing out the different pictures on the front, explaining them with that same slow voice she gets when the night is late and drowsiness slips through every syllable. This time, though, she’s not tired, just speaking in a way that kids who barely know anything can understand. Maybe that’s all Race is, too, a kid with half a brain and some stupid lovesick gaze he can’t seem to shake.
Y/N stands up, stretching, as the little girl leaves. A few more kids linger by her knees, and she talks to each of them in turn, patience coming eternal even by the point when Race would have started getting a little restless had it been him there instead of her. One of the kids hands her a flower he managed to find from somewhere, and Y/N tucks it behind her ear, smiling as if it’s a jeweled tiara instead of a little sprig of a plant that’s more leaf than petal.
She turns now, as if she can sense someone watching her, and finds Race from where he’s hidden by the crowd. She smiles at him, the simple expression almost enough to knock him over. There’s a soft slight in her face, as if she’s a little self-conscious to be caught talking so eagerly with the kids, but Race could never make fun of her for a second. Instead, he lets his own smile widen in return, and Y/N looks almost relieved. She mouths something about catching up to him in a second, then turns back to the kids when one of them tugs at her hand.
Now that he’s been caught, Race should probably keep moving down the block, at least doing something to keep up the pretense that he’s just selling papes instead of simply staring with that same jump in his heart. However, he can’t quite convince his feet to move, like his body is perfectly fine with just watching her there. It’s just the way the light washes golden over her hair, the sunbeam force of her smile, the twist of her hand and head as she speaks. Race has seen the way the rich neighbours stare at artworks, entranced by mere brushstrokes. If that’s what it looks like to fall in love with a mere painting, then Y/N might be an entire museum full of masterpieces.
That describes it, doesn’t it? He’s in love. Stupidly, crazily, whole-heartedly in love. There’s no way to describe it. Race has had crushes before, on rich girls with silken bows and laughing girls who talk to him as they leave the factories after work. None of those seem even remotely close to the hold Y/N has on him now, like all those kisses and offered flowers were just practice for this.
Maybe he’s too lost in his own thoughts, or the way Y/N seems to call an entire city to her like the star of a show, but Race doesn’t hear Albert and Jojo appearing behind him until it’s too late and they’re already upon him. Albert is crowing at him, face wrought over with victory. “It’s official. You’re completely hopeless for Y/N.” Race moves to deny this, but it’s too late- they have enough evidence to tease him for the rest of his life.
Jojo looks almost incredulous. “Wasn’t it just yesterday that you was telling me about how you’d never spend too much of your time trippin’ over some goil? Look at you now! Albert, he’s practically thinking about marriage.” Albert pretends to be severely affected by this thought. “I can see it in his eyes. He might already be picking out the rings.”
Race rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what you’se talking about. Y/N’s a friend.” Albert and Jojo actually burst out laughing, and Race wants to hit them. “She’s a friend? Race, if you look at your friends like that I’m getting locks on the doors. You’se in love, and it’s hilarious.” Race fishes around for some excuse or retort, finds nothing, and resorts to the time-honored classic of trying to hit them. “Some friends you are. No wonder I like Y/N- she doesn’t do this to me.”
Jojo hoots with laughter. “He admits it! Truth at last!” Albert sighs dramatically. “Did you hear his voice? He’s overcome with emotion.” Race lets scorn drip into his every word. “Overcome with emotion? Where’d you pick that up- off a pape?” Albert scoffs. “No, I read it off the cover of a book in a shop window, like somebody respectable.”
A voice comes from behind them once more, and Race wonders silently why he has to keep finding himself in this exact situation. “Somebody respectable? Albert, no offense, but I have never once seen anyone do that.” Albert’s expression grows worryingly bright, as if he’s just had a terrible idea, and he turns to face a newly arrived Y/N with a grin. “I’d usually argue on that, but I want to make time for someone else. Racer here was just saying something about how he needed to talk to you.”
Jojo’s eyes glint, like he’s caught on to Albert’s plan. “Yeah, actually, he was. Said it was something very important.” Albert nods solemnly. “Very, very important. We’d better leave now, so he can say it.” The two boys exchange looks, then practically jog off, although Jojo makes sure to give Race a very obvious thumbs up before they go. Race is about to seriously consider murder, but then a hand lands on his arm and he’s brought back to reality once more.
Y/N considers him, one eyebrow raised. “Well, I do have to admit that I’m a little worried by how excited they looked about that, but I am a little curious. What do you have to talk about?” Race knows what he should say, what Jojo and Albert no doubt want him to do, but the words stick a little in his throat. He remains silent for a little too long, and Y/N crosses her arms across her chest. “Well? I’m waiting.”
Race searches desperately for something to say, anything, but he has no idea how to start. Y/N’s look of curiosity is starting to bleed away into boredom, and Race is gripped by the sudden terror that she’ll leave before he can say anything at all, despite how terrifying it is to even think about telling her how he feels. So, he leans forward and kisses her before he can talk himself out of anything else.
Now Y/N doesn’t speak, not at all, and Race can’t think about anything except the fact that he might have ruined everything, once and for all. Then her face splits into this incredible grin, and Race feels like the ground has broken up beneath him and he’s falling, falling, until he can’t feel anything at all. “That’s what you wanted to talk about?” Race doesn’t know what to say. Again. “Uh, yes.”
She laughs, and Race thinks that he could have gladly listened to that sound every morning. Let the sound of her laugh replace the church bells, and he would have happily attended every sermon. “You’re an idiot.” Race nods. “Yes.” He’s not sure that he’s supposed to be agreeing to this, but she’s got him caught in her gaze again and he feels as if he can’t move a muscle. “Kiss me again, and I might just forgive you for waiting this long.”
Race grins, his confidence finally starting to return to him again. “Well, I like the sound of that.” He’s not about to refuse her this time, so he reaches forward, gently guiding her face back to his once more.
#race#race imagines#race x reader#race oneshot#newsies#newsies imagines#newsies x reader#newsies oneshot#newsies live#newsies live imagines#newsies live oneshot#racetrack#racetrack imagines#racetrack x reader#racetrack oneshot#race higgins#race higgins imagines#race higgins x reader#race higgins oneshot
232 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gojo Satoru general headcanons
Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.
Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.
He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.
All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.
Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong.
This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.
That doesn't mean he did the work tho
Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work
Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him
A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone
Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman
Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because
He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further
He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.
Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop
Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay
He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys
He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight
It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?
He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically
He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it
He has really cold hands and feet
He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o
He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o
It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry
Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"
He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face
He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair
He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts
No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses
His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month
They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses
Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on
Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind
Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle.
He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know
He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.
So about his driver's license;
He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.
Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets
It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad
This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though
He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-
Gojo has a key
You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did
Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious
He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess
The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.
He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror
Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes
Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck
He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.
Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru
Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.
He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed
He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-
It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out.
Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.
He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral
Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in
Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it
Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it
Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine
Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"
I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there
As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco
He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever
He will literally just stare at you and giggle
It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why
Its because he respects women
He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.
The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one
He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art"
When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.
He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.
Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess
He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on
He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored
This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored
He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power
I canon him as being borderline sadistic
This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated
White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.
He is Sakata Gintoki
He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og
He's hella bilingual
Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine
He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan
Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months
Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week
Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality
Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.
Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o
Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn
#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru headcanons
959 notes
·
View notes
Photo
THE FINAL PRODUCT AHHHH. This took a lot out of me but I am so proud of how it came together in the end, ahhhh.
Here are the original sketches if you’re curious as to how everyone looked originally.
Obligatory ask for you to click through
And finally, finally, my headcanons below the cut, so ya’ll don’t have to be bogged down with them. Warning, it’s kinda long
Hi, I put off making pancakes to write this
Lucifer
Lucifer owns a private detective agency (Edit: It’s got a name now! Morningstar Detective Agency, courtesy of the lovely @impastaz309), and all the brothers are in one way or another involved in it
The agency works with the police in the more secretive cases, usually ‘important’ people going missing under mysterious circumstances, drug trafficking etc.
Though he’s the head, a lot of the time he’s handling paperwork which helps cover the brothers and his back, especially since some of the stuff they do, and links they have with other people and organisations, could be exploited at their expense.
He’s looking at satan btw lmao
Running a detective agency and also keeping tabs on his brothers is very hard ™ so Lucifer is just, tired, all the time. Please give him a shoulder rub and smooches
Mammon
Usually used as bait, believe it or not, therefore his existence is somewhat of a mystery. He has to keep a low profile.
If you asked someone in the street, unless they were really involved in the agency (which they wouldn’t be), has a high ranking in the police (unlikely), or any of the other organisations the agency associates with (probably not) they wouldn’t know he exists
Mammon is very good at his job, organising meetings with middlemen, smooth talking his way out of situations, getting even the criminals themselves to come and meet him without a mediator
He is only ever used when they agency or police know with absolute certainty that the person they’ll be catching will be arrested without fail - which is of course impossible to know, so it’s always a gamble when they pull Mammon out of the deck
Good luck dating him because this guy can’t really go in public for too long at a time
Leviathan
He works at a newspaper agency, or at least that’s what they want you to think
In reality the whole reporter business is a front, and Leviathan is an information broker. Or rather, the head of a small group of information brokers.
The city is big, and one person alone isn’t enough to cover everything, but man is his group efficient
Every address change, every telephone call made, every booking of hotel rooms, all of it, he keeps tabs on it all
The information he’s gathered has helped the private detective agency out in a pinch many times, and will continue to do so in the future
“I’m very very busy, so please don’t call me during work, sweetheart. Especially not this particular number, that’s only for emergencies, and even then, it better be life or death, okay? Okay.”
Satan
Works in a bar. Specifically, a bar in a kinda sorta illegal underground fight club. It’s very illegal don’t let anyone fool you
A lot of the more questionable people of the city frequent this bar, and let me tell you, some people cannot keep their mouth shut once they’ve had a few drinks.
Anything Leviathan or Asmodeus can’t catch (don’t worry I’m getting there), is usually picked up by Satan via a blabbermouth who had too much to drink that night.
Satan is also pretty chummy with a lot of the fighters, and has a tendency to be the one patching up the milder injuries after fights
Therefore, he has a lot of favours he can collect, so if Lucifer ever needs some muscle that goes beyond what Beel can provide, Satan in there recommending a few of the more... smarter(?) fighters at the club.
Please don’t scratch his bar, he is a very forgiving bartender, but ruining the mahogany imported from England will have him beating the shit out of you
Asmodeus
A bit of a celebrity, his rise to fame being both accidental and very useful
Think barbershop quartet, but he does a lot of solo work as well. The other three guys in the barbershop quartet are an absolute blast, and Asmodeus loves them to bits.
Originally, Lucifer was furious. How does he expect to work in the agency if he’s off singing at clubs and attending fancy parties? Then he realised something: Asmodeus can keep tabs on any of the more sketchy celebrities who slip through the net
So off into stardom Asmodeus went, attending lavish parties and singing at packed theatres, collecting dirt, formulating blackmail, getting only the best gossip and pulling favours along the way.
“Jen, hon, did you hear about Carter? Apparently, he’s sleeping with the daughter of the Chief of Police.”
“Wait a minute... Asmo, isn’t she married?”
“She is most definitely married.”
“Oh my.”
Beelzebub
Usually seen working with Belphegor, partially because, well, that’s his twin brother and he likes his brother, so why not?
And also because Belphegor always needs backup
Though he isn’t always with Belphegor, really, he’s just sent whenever Lucifer is wary of sending anyone in the agency somewhere on their own.
Think of Beel as a bodyguard of sorts. He is always there to stop things form getting physical if needs be, but he isn’t always enough on his own despite being an absolute powerhouse. So sometimes he’ll go around with someone Satan recommended too
They’re really nice actually, Beel was super surprised, you’d think they’d have no manners? (That’s because Satan gives you the nice ones Beel, thank him once in a while)
They also all think he’s a marvel of muscle send from the gods so ya know. And they all get him cakes from that bakery he loves, so they’re all good in Beel’s book
Belphegor
You know the whole good cop bad cop routine? Yeah, Belphie is both depending on who you need for that current situation.
Masterful in the art of manipulation, Lucifer uses him on the more tough to crack people who sit in the interrogation room
He is actually pretty good at shoving the fragmented pieces of a case together, weaving a story that gets the person being interrogated sweating bullets
Even when he is way off, he still manages to worm information out of the subject a lot faster than anyone at the police station. Point, private detective agency.
Like I said, he can be the good cop or the bad cop, though because he isn’t all that intimidating, he’s usually asked to be good cop
But dear lord he is a scary bad cop, and everyone in the police force and their mother knows it
If you got this far wow, hi, thanks! And you may or may not be happy to know I’m planning on another noir piece, this time featuring the undatables and maybe my mcs too idk yet
#nais doodles#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#obey me!#om! lucifer#om! leviathan#om! mammon#om! beelzebub#om! asmodeus#om! satan#om! belphegor#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me leviathan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#noir au#fanart
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.
For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell
fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one
i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft
that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you
tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again
as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams
jason: don't you dare put on weird shit
tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)
hear me out hear me out,
red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans
t h i g h s
holy shit yes.
SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe
superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'
does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom
it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.
I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?
as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)
somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.
and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!
babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence
babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to
JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT
again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song
The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian
oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag
soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"
i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage
Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?
don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)
What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk
stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.
This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it
This is canon now @nctxrejects
lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out
idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family
bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another
I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.
yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.
Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings
smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn
Duke was adopted by Bruce?
not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?
True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live
true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?
apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome
ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.
ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut
lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash
oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man
while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.
dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie
magnum hot take
hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth
thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)
why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???
what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones
oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no
I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked
yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends
"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years
i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.
BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them
lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.
I am in love with your posts your honour thank you
omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?
The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST:
1) clark
2) lois
3) oliver
4) dinah
5) john
Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian
yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
and what about it?
when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST
oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat
Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes
lmao i do too
I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it
he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.
you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank
babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)
ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something
that's a very good vocabulary upgrade
somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”
steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.
Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you.
Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious
babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks
In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97
lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)
You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.
bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers
How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?
horrible, next question.
I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid
yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
superman: so what do you do in your free time?
batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time
bruce and oliver be like
boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)
lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)
Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje
he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'
I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??
i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way
SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed
'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'
i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam
fair enough
#this is only like half of it#but at least you can get like a few answers#yanno fuck it#bataranswers#ask#asks#anon
215 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
gemini-care-barr
Gemini Care-Barr
mangalayatan-university-aligarh
Mangalayatan University
frosttippedsunflower
-Roll for Initiative-
jsab-lustedworld
thomas the paravoz