#what happened to fearne absolutely kills me too
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I think the fans are underestimating how differently people can process things.
I am consistently seeing posts say "Ashton/Tal were repeatedly warned the shard was not for them/will 100% kill them", when this was absolutely not the case, and, more importantly, it is very likely for groups of people to completely misinterpret the warnings. Even if they've known each other and loved each other for a decade.
I certainly thought the warnings were not clear or frequent enough so I was shocked like lightning in the latest episode that they were meant to be absolute death flags.
Please note that I'll mostly refer to the fictional characters, I don't want to bring the people behind the characters too much into this.
First, I would like to point out, the show takes place over weeks and months with plenty of breaks and interruptions. That is plenty of time and opportunity for memories to get faded, muddled, crossed-over with other memories, etc.
The "warnings" happened two weeks to a month ago. And even when they were fresh on the cast's mind, here are the warnings verbatim (bold is my emphasis):
But be warned, holding the strength of the two in one vessel might sunder it. You bear the dormant strength of the empress. Find and bestow the might of the emperor.
- Evontra'vir, episode 74, aired October 5th.
The conversations move on to unrelated things with no followup.
Ashton: He also said it might be dangerous for these two shards to intermingle. Or he didn't say dangerous, he said that-- it could destroy me.
Orym: --A chance the vessel could break.
Laudna: --The vessel <air quotes> could break.
Fearne: Wasn't there something if you put them together with the right thing that it'll be okay?
Ashton: It might come together and be okay, yeah.
--
Dancer: Maybe if it were to meet one of its own ilk, it could awaken.
Allura: What you said as a point of warning likely is true. To have both within a singular vessel, it's possible one could survive, but it's also highly possible that it would rend you into a thousand pieces.
--
Allura: We're in a strange area of experimentation and unknown knowledge.
--
(after finding out Ashton has a fascimile of a Luxon beacon in their brain)
FCG: So he's got two things in him or them?
Allura: It would seem, which is why I'm a bit--Well, you're either the greatest weapon we could hope for in this time, or will be our end. I couldn't tell you.
Orym: Boy, maybe we don't add a third thing.
Ashton: I was put together by bits and pieces. This was not an intentional thing and it, I honestly shouldn't have survived it. It was, literally, I was put together with junk.
Allura: In an odd way, your fragmented nature might be what keeps all of this in check. ... Perhaps we don't put another powerful entity within your form.
- Various, episode 76, aired October 19th.
To me, these warnings were not clear in the slightest.
To me, these warnings were interspersed with so many words like "possible", "might", and "chance" that I completely misinterpreted the situation as "For Ashton it is dangerous but doable" instead of "The Game Master is telling you Ashton's character sheet will be ripped up."
This is the problem with using in-character voices and using descriptors that imply chance or flexibility. They can drastically weaken the meaning of a phrase such that people like me will mistake it for something else.
Because that's how my brain works. "May", "chance", "perhaps" suggest to me a reasonable set of odds for an action and does not come across as the grave warning a game master would want.
And as a reminder, these muddled warnings were weeks apart and weeks away, which can make remembering the meaning even worse if you've already misinterpreted them. That's why I was 100% on board with Ashton taking the shard. It seemed reasonable but dangerous, so when Matt said "I warned you." in that grave tone and with that grave look I was thrown for a loop. I went "oh no! those were serious warnings!?" and the panic started setting in.
Also a contributing factor was the pressure and lack of communication from Bells Hells.
Fearne did not want the shard, and finally stated that thought aloud to Ashton. For Fearne and Ashton, that meant the only choice left was Ashton, because, for one reason or another, the 5 other people in Bells Hells repeatedly assumed and pushed the shard onto Fearne and wrote themselves out of the equasion. FIVE characters absolved themselves of being active participants. Once the idea of Fearne came to mind and this Emperor Fearne/Empress Ashton/Callowmoore shipping dicotomy, Bells Hells just stopped talking about it and never once considered if any of them should take the shard should Fearne refuse.
So... yeah that's how my brain works.
#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#c3e77#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#bells hells#evontra'vir#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#communication breakdown#tl;dr Bells Hells needs to talk to each other more instead of just assuming how things will be#do you want explosions and dead PCs? that's how you get explosions and dead PCs.#people will think differently and can misinterpret what you say#even this loving group of 8 people can misinterpret each other despite being together for like a decade#tbh I thought the shard going to Orym would've been ideal#I might repost this for the Monday crew idk
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Finished Ep33, have some Thoughts
obviously spoilers ahead
So like, I know people are upset (I am too, Orym and Fearne are my favorites) but like... Death in Critical Role (or really any other well run DND show) doesn't affect me as much as it would in other forms of media. It's tempting to think of it that way, and trust me I'm the Biggest Baby when it comes to character death in fiction, but there are some essentials of the genre and this cast that make it a little easier for me, and I thought I would share my thoughts for anyone who might be hurting.
1 - in a well run DND game, death is always a temporary status if the player wants it to be. A good DM will work with players to bring back characters if the player really and truly doesn't want them to go (it might take awhile, but there's always options, some more dramatic than others). The death of Mollymauk comes to mind here, because Taliesin clearly was calling the shots at all times on how to proceed after Molly's death - he clearly made a character that was designed to be a book end to Molly's story. He even gave Molly funeral rites ("I made the earth remember him"). That was a beat he CHOSE, Matt didn't make him do that. Same with his rebirth at the end - it was his choice to use divine intervention, and his choice to act out how Kingsley behaved. These decisions are player driven, as they should be in a good game.
2 - this cast is very good at checking in on each other and reading each other's moods. When it becomes clear to Liam that Orym isn't going to make it, you can see Liam get up and walk around the table a couple times, and pretty much everyone checks in with him, holds his hand, whispers something to him, or gives him a hug. He's in a supported place. Ashley looks more stunned after Fearne's death so she doesn't get up, but I have no doubt that there was much the same comforting and checking in after the cameras stopped.
3 - these events were consequences of the player's actions, not decided by a writer's room. I get mad when characters die in say, a TV show, because it doesn't always feel justified. You know that the actual character did not make any of the calls that lead up to their death, it was decided by an author (or worse, a committee, or a series of authors that don't communicate well with each other). But Bells Hells were in that situation because of choices that the players, who know their characters best, made. It's tempting to think that when a character dies, it was somehow unwarranted or unfair, but when is death ever fair? At least in DND players are masters of their character's decisions.
4 - IF a player decides not to pursue bringing their character back, it doesn't mean they are gone from the table forever. In other media, when that character dies we don't get to see that actor anymore, but in DND they get to come back as a new idea with new fresh things to play with, and as much as I love the characters what I ultimately come to CR for is the interactions between these particular people. Liam and Ashley will still be there no matter what happens (even if they are off camera for a little)
5 - DND is a conversation, not a competition. The DM is not "out to get" the players. This encounter was absolutely something Bells Hells could have overcome (in fact it sounded like they got close!), but the dice were not on their side. You can tell Matt is doing his best to keep the fight balanced - Otohan moves constantly, doesn't focus on any one player. Even her multi attack she frequently splits up to use against multiple people instead of just focusing all damage on one person (which is what she would do if Matt was trying to get someone killed). I've seen people speculate that Ashton going down in the first round scared the group so much that they focused more on running than fighting, making Otohan seem stronger than she probably was, and I agree. This was not an unwinnable fight.
6 - just because a character dies doesn't mean their story is over. If Liam or Ashley decide not to bring Orym and Fearne back, their stories don't just end there. Again, look at Molly. Or Vax! Matt will find ways to keep their threads in the narrative even if the characters aren't.
I'm not saying that I don't want Orym or Fearne back (I DO THEY'RE MY FAVES), but I understand this a little better, and it doesn't hurt the same way for me that other character deaths might. We have no idea what is going to happen this week (who knows what Imogen's power can do now that it's unlocked?!), but I feel comfortable knowing that whatever happens is something the players are on board with.
#cr spoilers#crit role spoilers#cr speculation#character death#orym of the air ashari#fearne calloway#episode 33
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campaign 3 episode 25: fresh cut grand theft auto
mala: happy pride month...?
"sorry max"
ANIMATE?
okay that's sick as fuck
"fire" jglkdfjgkldf
I somehow forgot about taste of tal'dorei
I JUST noticed what sam is wearing
matt is going a face journey with everything erika says about this place
robits
I have missed the last ten minutes bc I was getting a screenshot of the last time sam wore that
Who Just Burped
"sephora-like blast"
oh look my secondhand embarrassment says it's time to go make food
also 90% of this is absolutely wasted on me bc I've never been to Medival Times and I don't drink
like I appreciate a good lore drop but the spa in EXU Kymal hit more for me
"lore! lore! lore!"
okay I'm paying attention now
birdie and ollie
apparently this episode is ~5 hours long but after the last episode of calamity it's a baby
"does she feel real?" "yeah, sure"
"it says fuck"
shoutout to me after I gave birth angrily stating the year and who the president was to prove I was cognizant despite my 103F fever to get them to listen to me
(it didn't work)
the disappointment
"and drink heavily"
travis
chetney
[kanmi voice] fuck you, you're not a royal
"and he's also here"
oh she's trying to butter imogen up, 100% forgot they're in a fight
"you do not have a flesh tongue and I do not cross my eyes"
oh shit oh shit
Meet At Joe's
"I know you're going to anyway, but try not to look like tourists"
"why not"
fearne
FEARNE?
fearne has a vex commemorative plate lksdjflsa
"would you like anything in return?" ashley
"comic sans is an odd choice"
laura's gonna kill sam in the parking lot
delilah go bllleahhhh
I can't believe dwayne johnson would do this to imogen
right after I typed this someone made the exact same joke in discord skdfjsl
"a heartbeat or something" fcg
fcg are we projecting
laudna :(
someone hug the dead lady
tot holder
everybody trying to get imogen and laudna back together
twitch I'll kill you
"that lady's got a lot of love in her"
"I SAW THIS. POTHOLDER. AND THOUGHT OF YOU."
"whitestone is for lovers" skdlfjslk
JOSTENS IS NEVER DOWN
("quinn nobody's gonna get that" that one was for high-school me)
HE PAWNED THE RING
fdlskj dorks
sergeant slaughter
SLEEPY OMAR that's all I need
gonna beat up fcg until he admits he's a person
I have straight-up zoned out for 20 minutes
"furiosa style" caleb style
"I'll figure it out" she will not, she will pop out of polymorph and lie badly
chetney calling fearne princess is giving me grunthor calling rhapsody duchess and if you get that reference I'm so sorry
Big Fearne Energy
YEET CHILD
Mike Hunt
matthew say the names out loud BEFORE the game
the spirit of purvon
I just realized this is literally just chorizo from far cry 6
"he's got LITTLE WHEELS"
erika ishii, known chaos goblin
taliesin jaffe, known erika ishii enabler
I didn't think he was actually gonna go in but he did
"let her step on me" marisha no
A Rock-Based Apology
....pebble and the penguin
"I've definitely learned my lesson" immediate hysterical laughter
"I really wanna steal a crawler machine"
ashton is proud of you, better reload
grand theft fcg
travis is a combination of "WEREWOLVES GDI" and "STRATEGERY GDI"
laura ur vex is showing
liam hears it too
wait what happened I zoned out again
#critical role#spoilers#crititag#liveblog#reaction post#full disclosure I was playing improbable island
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CR ep 3.06
Gosh, what a nice exposition episode.
It's times like this when you can see how many of the cast is just billowing with storytelling chops, because this episode did things with pacing that felt natural and half-unconscious and clever all at once. (You can do really smart pacing things in an improv format, but half the time, when it happens, it's not even on purpose -- it's instinctual reaction to how things feel they ought to fit together. In this case, a lot of it was Matt intentionally planning, but not all of it by far.)
I think the big thing we saw this week was the group coming closer together, learning more and more about each other, while simultaneously getting bits and pieces around the edges of the secrets they're still keeping. It felt intentional, even, storycraft-intentional. We started an episode with seven new friends sitting down at a drinking game to learn each others' secrets and ended it with one member of the group lying to the others about a family thing that had just come up, his family that was the very first thing brought up in that drinking game, and once again the pure cinema of chance feels like scripted television yet again.
Literally every person in this episode (except Imogen, I think?) lied or hid or tried to subterfuge at least one thing. And I think I like it so damn much because every single person in this episode was also so damn honest, y'know? We learned so many things! Most of the things we learned from the individual characters seemed truthful, even. I still give Laudna like a 30% chance of being Secret Vesper de Rolo, but yeah, killed and then reanimated by the Briarwoods sounds 100% believable to me. Yes I want to know all about Ashton's ragtag group of childhood friends and occasional lovers who left town and left them behind, but nothing he said about them rang false, just evasive. Ditto most of the others; FCG was absolutely playing squirrel to get out of answering questions, and Fearne just hates being pinned down, but dodging questions or not, I don't think anybody really lied except Fearne, and she got caught within ten seconds anyway.
Ugh, and I was wide awake this week until I started trying to think through this post and then I started dozing off on the keyboard again, but a few bullet points I want to mention while fresh in my mind:
CLASS WARFARE CAMPAIGN what did I fucking tell you, their new allies are literally a cell of devout, possibly terrorist anarchists. The ruling class literally hide their identities from the people. So much more of this to come.
I'm sure peoples' mileage may vary, but I absolutely love Laudna and Imogen and the fact that even six episodes in there's been no definite answer to the question of whether they're fucking or just Really Good Friends. Their room is small! There's only one bed! Who knows???
Ahahahahahahahha holy shit Laudna's warlock patron is Delilah Briarwood, I cannot fucking wait to see where that plot goes.
I have the vague suspicion that events are converging to give Dorian a chance to step out gracefully, which I admittedly regret. This is the class warfare campaign! I love having a character like Dorian, who is very rich, in the middle of all these working-class and straight-up-poor motherfuckers. I love seeing that intersection! I'm hoping his brother adds to it and that also doesn't take him away too far.
My words keep going sideways so that is tonight's post-ep post and we will see about next week when it happens.
#cr spoilers#episode 03.05#if any of these sentences stopped being a sentence halfway through#please forgive me#I am SO tired
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for dorym prompts: the fact that only the ExU crew know Dorian's real (first) name?? Can only imagine it'll come to bite them?
(i have so many thoughts about this and i really might write a longer thing of this concept at some point? but here's this for now! protective orym and fearne my beloveds)
It took Dorian... too long, maybe, to realize what was happening. It had just been so long, that it took the man who was waving at him a few tries to get his attention.
"Bronte! Hey, Bronte!"
And when that word finally pierced Dorian's brain, it triggered a deep, uncomfortable panic, one that he thought he had left behind, at the same time that he left that name behind. And he froze.
The young man- and, god, Dorian couldn't even remember the man's name, let alone how they knew each other- either didn't notice the panic or didn't care, and took Dorian's eye contact, apparently, as an excuse to start approaching him. The smile on his face did absolutely nothing to hide the calculating, almost predatory glint in his eyes, and Dorian could feel himself moving backwards in time, back to being a scared little kid who never did anything right, back to never being what his family or his peers expected of him, back to being the person who was never, never, enough.
"We all wondered where you went, Bronte," the man continued, still getting closer, and that name coming out of his lips felt like poison in Dorian's veins.
He stumbled back a step, and his brain wasn't going anywhere besides get away and don't say that name, but he couldn't find his voice to be able to make either thing happen. Typical Bronte, claims to be a performer but doesn't even know how to speak when spoken to. Typical Bronte, never says the right thing at the right time, never acts the way he's supposed to, never good enough.
And then, suddenly, he wasn't alone.
Fearne, standing at her full height in front of him, blocking his view of the man almost completely, and Orym, standing beside him, sword held in his clenched fist.
"Can we help you?" Fearne asked, voice soft and sweet, but the snakes on top of her staff were already starting to curl and hiss.
"You leave and come back with a group of freaks, is that right, Bronte?" the man asked, stepping to the side and ignoring Fearne completely. "You know, your mother invited me to dinner this week. I'm sure she'd love to see you."
Beside him, Orym growled. "I don't know who the hell you are," he hissed, "but you need to leave. Now."
"You're a little confused," Fearne said, and there was a smile on her face but none in her eyes. "Dorian, do you know this guy?"
"I... no," Dorian said, and he was almost surprised to find that his voice was working again. His hands were trembling, but he could speak.
The man scoffed. "Dorian? What kind of name is that?"
"It's his name," Orym said, and the look in his eyes made Dorian realize that he was moments away from stabbing this man.
Fearne took a step, closing him in between her and Orym, and finally, finally, the man started to look uncomfortable. "We don't want to make a scene," she said, "and I don't think you do, either."
Orym moved, too, putting his small frame directly in front of Dorian. "I would leave now, if I were you," he said, practically spitting out the words.
The man scowled, but he seemed to finally notice Orym's sword and Fearne's snakes. "Fine," he said, and then he looked up, right into Dorian's eyes, and added, "I'm sure your mother will be glad to know that her dear Bron is back in town." And, with a final sharp smile, he turned and walked away down the street.
Dorian stumbled, all of the energy leaving his body at once, but at the same moment, Orym and Fearne appeared on either side of him, Fearne with a supportive hand on his shoulder and Orym with one on his hip.
"We can still go kill him, if you want," Fearne said, and her tone was light, but there was an undercurrent of intensity to the words, and Dorian knew that she meant them.
"No," he said, shaking his head, trying to get rid of the foggy panic. "No, that's... That would be worse, I think." He blinked, then, looking up, and asked, "Where are the others?"
"We told them to go ahead," Orym answered, and he was doing nothing to hide the quiet rage on his face. "Imogen could feel your... your panic, so she pulled the rest of them away."
And, okay, maybe Dorian would have to unpack that later, the fact that his feelings were loud enough to broadcast right to Imogen, but for now, he just let himself be grateful.
"We heard him say that name," Fearne said, "the one that isn't yours anymore. Are you alright?"
"Not really," Dorian answered, and it was surprising, how easy it was to admit that. "Hearing that name come out of his mouth... I just froze. I don't know what he would have done, but whatever it was, I wouldn't have stopped him."
"But we heard it, too," Orym said, reaching up and grabbing Dorian's still-shaking hand in his.
Fearne nodded once, and reached down to hold his other. "And we stopped him, so you didn't have to."
Dorian exhaled, letting the feeling of their hands in his ground him in the moment. He was Dorian, here on a mission for the Air Ashari with two of the people who were more of a family than he had ever had. "He knows your faces now," he said, voice soft. "If he tells anyone else about you, then-"
"Then we'll handle it," Orym cut him off, squeezing his hand. "We're in it together, Dorian. Whatever it is."
"Always," Fearne agreed, soft, and finally, Dorian let himself smile.
He was Dorian Storm, and no one was going to take that away.
#critical role#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#fearne calloway#critical role c3#critical role fic#exu trio#anonymous#ask me#mine#genuinely LOVED writing this one so i hope you like it!!!#it's about chosen names and chosen families and the intersection of those things....
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My final critical role C3E1 thoughts 😌
Imogen and Laudna Imogen and Laudna IMOGEN AND LAUDNA
The new set is spectacular 😍🤌🏻✨
Not one but TWO he/theys - we are truly blessed on this DAY
Ashton waking up in a place 'people go to be forgotten' I -
Molly 😭
Fresh Cut Grass is fucking KILLING me 😭😭😭 fave character???? MAYBE
You can tell Matt has put so much effort into this world - every description, every interaction, makes me so thrilled to witness more of its secrets and dark corners 👀💕
ROBBIE AJDHDHSKFHS THIS MAN IS AMAZING - CAN HE STAY FOR THE WHOLE CAMPAIGN??? PLEASE 😭🤌🏻
Does this mean we might see Dorian's bf Dariax??? Matt's RIGHT THERE I MEAN -
Opal and Fyra-Rai guest stars - I mean it has to happen right??? Aabria too!!!
I'm up to E6 of EXU so I gotta catch up 👀
Fucking THRILLED to see Fearne again
Liam playing a short character all Campaign is absolutely amazing!! I can't wait to explore more of Orym's character and to see how he developes 😍
Fuck I gotta catch up on C1 to see the introduction of Travis' character 😭 I already love him though
Overall I'm just loving that they're all having so much fun together 🥰
What an AMAZING first episode
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EXU 02: The Oh No Plateau
Okay, I did watch this episode live, but I forgot to publish my liveblogs the day after! But here are my liveblogs for Episode 2 of Exandria Unlimited--the aptly titled “Oh No Plateau.” I absolutely loved some of the character lore that we got in this episode, and I’m so curious (and excited!) to see what will happen in the next episode!
- Stage name?? Is Robbie trolling us or is Dorian Storm actually just a pseudonym??
- The Dariax vs. Mister rivalry is so funny dghdjkl and I love Matt’s mannerisms as Dariax so much
- DEXTERITY SAVING THROW? A DART TOWARDS FEARNE? UM...
- Opal: “My brother and I...” Dorian: “Adopted brother!” has the same vibes as that one scene in Ragnarok where Thor goes “We’re brothers” and Loki responds with “Adopted” DFGHJK
- DORIAN TAKING A SWING AT THE UNCHARMED GUY RUH ROH
- “Praise Taliesin, this is a good die” HELP this is my new favorite phrase, I love Aabria so much!
- This Arthur guy just going along with Opal tying him up is so funny... also “whip it out” is definitely a um, phrase in this situation
- “I’ll teach you later” ;)
- “You know a lot.” “I know a few things!” “That’s what I said, I’m trying to compliment you!” I loved this Dariax and Orym exchange so much lmaooo
- VIBRANIUM, I AM READY FOR THIS CROSSOVER
- Dorian saying “before my people fell,” is he referring to genasi/genie-kin or like his specific kingdom of people? I’m looking very curiously
- KEYLETH MENTION
- “I made this bitch magic and she’s asking me to leave” so Opal’s twin sister is her patron? I wonder how that works/how that happened...!
- I love Fearne so much, just her voice and personality are so soothing and lovely (Also, the fact that she is chaotic neutral is so funny dfghdjkl I cannot wait to see that manifest even more throughout these episodes!)
- “We killed a couple of people” “Well, we killed their vibe” “By killing them” LMAO DFGHDJKL OPAL TRIED SO HARD TO SAVE IT
- Wait, did they find Little Mister in the murderous crater?? Did Fearne somehow...create him, with some druidic ability? I want to know more about Session Zero, I wonder if they will have a “Talks Machina” Wrap-Up for EXU!
- Dorian: “If Orym wants to help you, I want to help you.” / Dariax: “And if [Dorian] wants to help you, I want to help you.” / Opal: “Me too.” I love how ride or die this whole crew is for each other already, it’s so precious!
- AN EARTHQUAKE?? This must be one of the tremors that Jhosso and Reyan were talking about earlier!
- Dariax touching the crown and his eyes going black WHAT DOES IT MEAN
- Okay I wasn’t liveblogging this part but now I am because Little Mister has been forced into his true fire elemental form, that’s so freaking cool actually
- Fearne holding onto Opal’s belt to protect her 🥰
- “I’m sorry, did I fucking stutter?” ASHJKLDJ I LOVE AABRIA SO MUCH
- “Maybe don’t yell at it” “Oh wow, from you?” Dariax and Opal have such a good friendship looool, I love their chaos vibes so much (and yes I know like half of these liveblogs are just quotations but so many of them are iconic)
- WHAT IS THE TED AND OPAL RELATIONSHIP, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON
- I love how freely Aabria gives away inspiration, it’s genuinely so fun!
- This entire “ash hole” conversation has gone off the rails so quickly DHJKDLHNFJ LITERAL CHAOS CREW
- Oh god, Orym has two points of Exhaustion now, doesn’t he? What happens when it gets to three points of Exhaustion...?
- I love Dorian so much, this Dissonant Whispers play on Mister is so great, Robbie plays bards so well!
- DARIAX JUST ATTACKING MISTER AFTER THIS DRAMATIC MOMENT
- Oh he got a Natural 1, okay 🤣
- “I probably died many times” um. is Fearne okay??
- I have not seen Campaign 1 yet but GILMORE !!!!!
- Ted is in a low, dark, place? And frustrated? And saying/thinking that Opal will always be protected from herself by Ted? What goes on on this here day, I am so curious about that relationship and I remember Aabria mentioning in an interview that Opal’s backstory played a bigger part in these eight episodes than initially expected so I can’t wait to see how that unfolds!
#exandria unlimited#exu spoilers#THE END OF EPISODE STINGERS ARE SO GOOD#AABRIA MY BELOVED#exu liveblog
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i got u: one.
i. gap
Fearne Phillips was a bitch.
That’s what the guy who hit on her last Christmas at a sweets shop in Surrey said when she wouldn’t give him her number.
That’s what Simon Elliott cried when she broke his arm for calling her best friend fat.
That’s what the media thought when she refused to speak about why her relationship with Louis Tomlinson had ended.
That’s what Jessica from Teen Scene Magazine was currently thinking when she refused to give young girls tips on how to seduce men.
Fearne Phillips was one of a kind. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. If she was uncomfortable, she was going to let you know. Most people called her reckless for it. Others called her iconic. She didn’t see herself as either of those things.
She saw herself as one thing: tired. Tired of having to be perfect. Tired of having to be prim and proper. Tired of being told what the projected sales and media trends would be if she acted a certain way. She just wanted to be Fearne.
She wouldn’t get to be that for another month. She had a few more festivals to get through before she had an entire year off. She couldn’t believe it.
Fearne had signed a record deal at eighteen and essentially grew up in the spotlight. They saw her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. That decade of stardom had its ups and downs. The worst of it was five years ago when things started to go south with the love of her life.
Sometimes things don’t always work out according to plan. That job at that high profile modeling agency is less about fashion and more about having the ability to memorize multiple coffee orders. That asymmetrical bob that looked adorable on the girl on the train somehow got turned into a shaggy looking bowl cut. That attractive guy from accounting who said he was actually going to call doesn’t end up calling.
Long distance relationships are one of those things that don’t always work out as they should. Three little words are whispered through telephone lines instead of being said face to face. Beds are shared with computer screens instead of warm bodies. Feelings of contentment are replaced by worry and doubt.
Relationships become plagued with catastrophic fights about minuscule things. Calls start to get shorter and text messages begin to stop. That feeling of love once shared starts to dwindle down to nothing.
A type of exhaustion sets in that never can be satisfied. It doesn’t go away with a weekend in bed or trip back home. It settles. It latches onto every fiber and festers until it’s too late. The mind, body, and soul become infected and a monster is created. Once it’s released, there is no hope for humanity.
Fearne Phillips and Louis Tomlinson knew that monster too well. It’s what started to transform after four long years of a relationship on the road. She was never home and he could never get away. The lack of affection and time spent together took its toll on the young couple. Before they knew it, it was over.
It didn’t just end though. It blew up. It was plastered over every tabloid magazine in the country. It was broadcasted on the morning news. It was all over the Internet for her to relive day in and day out.
That first year was the hardest. She lost herself completely. She broke his heart and she could never forgive herself for it. Why? Because Louis Tomlinson was the greatest man she had ever met and he didn’t deserve what she put him through. He deserved better and always would.
As time moved on, the only things she could rely on to keep her from falling apart again were her friends and her job. Her soul sister, Samantha Jane, fought off any man who tried to get close to her while her manager, Declan, did his best to keep her focused on her music. Her older brother, Archie, was just along for the ride. When the going got tough, he stepped in and nursed his baby sister back to health. She didn’t know what she’d do without them.
Every year, she found a way to repay them for putting up with her. This year she managed to get them VIP passes to a handful of festivals throughout the UK. They were currently attending the Glastonbury Festival. Well, Samantha Jane and Archie were attending the festival. Fearne was on the clock. She had been tucked away in an oversized tent answering the same five questions for various media publications. She wouldn’t get to join them until after her set.
Declan did his best to keep her happy but she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone else. She needed a recharge. The last one did her head in.
“I’m not doin’ another one.” Fearne looked over at the bearded man beside her. “I’m done.”
“I’m takin’ care of it,” Declan said — thumbs flying as he typed away on his phone. “Got her editor’s number. She’s a friend of Jimmy.”
“That was just bull shit.” She said. “I didn’t overreact, did I?”
“Shite reporting.” Declan glances up. “If you were a twenty-eight-year-old lad, you’d be labeled a legend... absolutely killing it.”
“Right?” Fearne ran her hands over her face. “Made me come off as a proper slag. I don’t even know any of those men. Would you want your niece to read an article where her favorite celebrity tells her how to sleep around with men? I know I wouldn’t.”
“I’ll take care of it, Fearnie. Don’t worry pet.” Declan winked. “Now head toward the end of the tent.”
“I’m not doing another interview.” She sighed looking up at him. “I will punch someone.”
“It’s with Radio 1,” Declan explained. “Probably with Scott who you haven’t seen in ages. He won’t do anything to harm ya.”
Fearne thought about it for a moment. “ I do like Scott.”
“And you won’t punch him because he’s a good man. You’ll be fine.” Declan said urging her to start walking.
“I just want to clarify that I wouldn’t be upset if she hadn’t been so rude. Young women should know how to navigate the dating world but they shouldn’t be treated as if their only important role in life is to be a side piece for a man.”
“Yeah, yeah all that feminist shite,” Declan mumbled dryly.
Fearne shoved him playfully. “Fuck right off, Declan Jay.”
“Easy there, Pip Squeak.” He said stabilizing himself.
“I just don’t like people who make female celebrities out to be tarts because they’ve got male friends. I’m more than that.” She sighed.
“You do know you don’t need the validation of some teenage tabloid, right? You’re Fearne motherfucking Phillips.” Declan said with a cheesy grin. “The girl who nearly got kicked of secondary school for getting her nose pierced. The girl who sold out the O2 four nights in a row during her first arena tour. The girl who outlasted every single guy on Lads on Tour last summer.”
He continued, “Lionesses like you shouldn’t worry about sheep like her.”
Fearne opened her mouth to say something but decided to walk away instead. Sometimes that man knew exactly what to say to help her refocus. She decided to give him what he wanted. She made her way towards the northern end of the tent to a table dedicated to the BBC’s finest radio station. Declan started to ramble on about how lovely women were in hopes of making her feel better. He didn’t need to say anything but she appreciated that he had.
“Fuck.”
Declan stopped abruptly leaving the woman standing beside him confused. Without saying another word, the six-foot-tall man wedged his body between her and their destination.
“What the fuck, Deco?” Fearne asked.
“Mental health check.” He said crossing his arms over his chest. “0-10, how we doin?”
“I’m fine.” She said not understanding his sudden change in mood.
“That’s not a number.” Declan sighed.
“Why? What’d you see?” Fearne asked attempting to look over his shoulder.
“Just want to make sure me girl is fine after that last one,” Declan explained. “Have you calmed down a bit?”
“Oh, I’m still annoyed but —“ Fearne said standing on the tips of her toes trying to look over his shoulder.
“Need a number Fearnie.” He said calmly.
“Bout a six.” She said knowing that anything lower would set off the alarm bells.
“Good.” He nodded before handing over her phone. “Text Arch and SJ bout what they’re up to now, yeah?”
Fearne smiled swiping her cell phone from his hand.
“Promise you’re gonna stay at a six no matter what happens?” Declan asked.
“I’ll try me best,” Fearne said, eyes glued to her phone. “Don’t know what you’re so worried about Deco.”
“Horan’s here,” Declan said relaxing a bit.
“When is he ever not here? He loves this festival.” Fearne said smirking at something her best friend had sent. “Where’d ya see him?”
Declan nodded behind him. “At the Booth.”
Fearne looked up. “He is the most efficient producer at the BBC so that makes sense.”
“You’re going to have to speak to him,” Declan said. “Still gonna be a six?”
“Niall Horan is a ray of sunshine,” Fearne said still not getting what the big deal was. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Fearnie, I need you to —“ Declan started to say.
“Give me five more minutes with Samantha Jane and I’ll do whatever you want. Okay? You go check in or whatever it is you do and I’ll be your perfect pop star.” She said with a weak smile.
Declan didn’t respond. He turned around and headed toward the makeshift radio studio. He was on edge. Niall Horan was a legend. He always brought the party wherever he went. He also was the sole producer of the show Fearne’s ex-boyfriend hosted. The two were rarely seen without each other — especially during festival season.
Before he had a chance to scope out who was working, a firm hand latched onto Declan’s shoulder. He turned around to find a dark-haired Irishman smiling back at him.
“Well look who the fuck it is.” Niall’s thick Irish accent called out.
“Are you ever not working?” Declan joked as he pulled his old friend into a hug.
“You should know I’d never miss out on the Bury, Deco,” Niall said with a laugh.
The two friends briefly caught up as arrangements were made for the interview. Stories about touring and family members were shared between the men. The reason they were connected was carefully being avoided. Declan knew he needed to bring it up but was worried about the answer.
“So um, is he here?” Declan said in a low voice.
“Yeah but he’s not doing the interview. I uh made sure of it. It’s Matt.” Niall said softly. “How’s she doing?”
“Just came out of a rough one so I need something to cheer her up,” Declan said glancing over at Fearne.
“The lads went to the loo so it’ll be a bit but we’ll take care of our girl.” Niall smiled. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks, Ni.” Declan nodded.
“Just looking out for both of ‘em,” Niall said.
“Fearne,” Declan called out.
Fearne looked up from her phone and found two sets of eyes watching her closely. She put a brave face on and headed towards them. One more interview to go and she’d be free. One more interview with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and she’d be free. She could do it. She knew she could.
“Fearne Phillips, who’d ya sell your soul to because you haven’t aged a day, love,” Niall said with a smirk.
“If I told ya, I’d have to kill ya,” Fearne said stepping into his warm embrace.
“I can’t believe this motherfucker is still your minder. Would have ditched him ages ago.” Niall said as he squeezed her tight.
“Ehh, I’ve grown quite fond of him,” Fearne said with a smile. “Lets me do whatever I want.”
“Oh, I believe that.” He smiled.
Fearne stepped back, “I like the hair change. Suits you.”
“Makes me more distinguished,” Niall said before leaning in close. “All the birds are into it.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Haven’t changed a bit, Ni.”
“I have to get shit ready so why don’t you take a seat on the ol’ sofa and I’ll let you know when we’re all queued up.” He said with a wink.
Fearne looked over to find a lumpy old couch with two teal pillows sitting across from a makeshift soundboard. Heat rushed to her cheeks. She had some very fond memories from a couch that looked almost identical to the one staring back at her.
“Ni is this —-“ Fearne started to ask.
“Fuck no.” Niall cackled. “We got rid of it after um that.”
“Oh… well, it wasn’t that comfortable anyways.” She said shyly.
“He begs to differ,” Niall said with a smirk.
“How’s he doing?” Fearne asked — surprised at the words that had just come out. She didn’t know whether she was being polite or if she genuinely cared. She hadn’t thought about him in a while.
Declan and Niall looked just as surprised as she did.
“Still the same pain in the ass we know and love,” Niall said with a small smile.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” She smiled going back to the messages on her phone. She needed to prevent herself from saying anything else unexpected.
Fearne Phillips hadn’t thought about Louis in about a year. She’d see his face when certain songs would come on the radio. She’d hear his laugh when certain jokes were told. But she hadn’t seriously thought about the man she had loved in quite some time. She did wonder how he was but never intended on asking about him. She wasn’t the type to fawn over exes. After the breakup, she would move on as quickly as she could. Louis was different though. He was her best friend.
Seeing Niall was a great reminder of those days.
She was in the middle of explaining what had happened to her brother and best friend when she noticed a group form at the table across from her. Hushed voices were talking quickly. Something was wrong but she wasn’t going to let it get to her. She promised Declan she would stay at a six and that was one promise she couldn’t afford to break.
Her phone started to blow up as her two favorite people started weighing in on the situation at hand. She knew she could count on them to keep her distracted and that’s exactly what they did.
“Now then, let’s get this show on the road, Phillips.” A voice called out pulling her away from the conversation on her phone.
As she looked up, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Standing in front of her in a pair of muddy wellies was a man she hadn’t spoken to in ages. A man she dedicated two entire albums and an endless amount of notebooks to. A man whose face was now covered in facial hair and laughter lines. A man she had truly missed.
“Tommo,” She beamed taking her in ex-boyfriend’s appearance. “What the fuck are you wearin’ mate?”
“What?” The young man asked looking down at his outfit. “I look goddamn sexy, Phillips.”
Fearne shook her head standing up. “Look like you should be helping me nan with her back garden.”
“Oh fuck you.” Louis chuckled before pulling her into his arms for a hug. Her body effortlessly molded into the places that used to be called home. Everyone around them stood with bated breath unsure of how this interaction was going to turn out.
“Are you giving the interview then?” Fearne asked forcing herself to let go of his body.
Louis fought through a fake smile. “Unfortunately.”
Her hazel eyes lit up. “This is going to be brilliant.”
Something about the way she spoke caught Louis’ attention. She seemed tired and on edge. It had been a while but that man knew her better than anyone else. His eyes scanned her face for answers but fell short.
“Whatcha lookin’ at punk?” She said narrowing her eyes at him playfully.
He shook his head before stepping in close, “Y’alright?”
“I’m fab Lou.” She faked a smile. He didn’t buy it. Before he could dig a little deeper, papers were shoved in his face as a camera was slowly being set up.
Work was to be done.
Louis slid into the spot beside her on the couch. He rested his elbows on the tops of his legs as he studied the list of questions he was supposed to be asking. Fearne studied his face. She almost couldn’t believe it. His boyish features were no longer present. A week’s worth of stubble and some late nights in the studio had left him looking much older.
As he looked up to ask Niall a question, Fearne got a glimpse of his baby blue eyes. They were just as warm and inviting as they used to be but something was a bit off. She knew the look in his eyes all too well. It was the same look he had when he met her dad for the first time. It was the look he had on their first weekend away together. It was the same look he had the night he told her he loved her.
Despite his efforts to try to play it cool, there was no denying he was nervous.
Hoping to remedy the situation, Fearne nudged his leg gently with her own. His eyes left the commotion surrounding them and focused on her.
“See anyone play yet?” She asked with an inviting smile.
He knew what she was trying to do. He appreciated it. A wave of nerves had hit him when Matt said he couldn’t do the interview. He didn’t think he could do it either.
Fearne Phillips wasn’t just another musician at a festival that he needed to interview. She was his greatest love story. Every memory from his twenties had her in it. He didn’t need to fall in love ever again because nothing could compare to the time he spent with her.
Once they split, those memories were too much to handle. Her music disappeared from his show. Her albums sat on his shelf unopened. He couldn’t bring himself to be around things that reminded him of her. He wasn’t strong enough.
Seeing her after all this time was unlike anything he had ever imagined. His pulse began to race, butterflies took flight, and every day spent missing her seemed worth it.
“I went with Fiona and Jack to see Cage earlier and I saw a bit of Cold War Kids but that’s it.” He said putting on a fake smile. “What about you?”
“I’ve been stuck in here all morning.” She said sounding disappointed. “Probably won’t see anyone until after I get off stage.”
“You need to fire that minder of yours,” Louis said glancing over at Declan. “He’s overworking you.”
“Tell me about it.” She sighed.
“You sure you’re okay?” He said in a low voice.
Fearne raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”
“S’been a bit. Just nerves.” He grinned shyly.
“It’s just me, Lou,” Fearne said.
“Yeah, multi-platinum award-winning international superstar Fearne Phillips,” Louis said glancing down at his sheet of paper.
“Oh, you mean the same Fearne Phillips who can’t figure out how to build a fucking bookcase.” She said with a smirk.
His face lit up. “You still have it?”
“All me books are in piles on the floor. Samantha Jane nearly wrecks them every time she’s drunk.” Fearne admitted shyly. “The wood bits are under my bed. I’m convinced they didn’t put all the pieces in the box as a ploy to get me to buy another one.”
Louis bit back a smile. Three weeks after they met, Fearne bought a bookcase for the flat she shared with Samantha Jane. The girls were on an independence kick. They wanted to prove they could do things on their own. Samantha Jane orchestrated the completion of a bathroom remodel while Fearne focused on furniture. She got everything done but the bookcase.
One Friday night, he attempted to ask her out on a proper date but she asked if he wanted to come over instead. She rambled on about their new flat and her struggles with the furniture and how she couldn’t let her brother know she needed help. Without a second thought, Louis picked up a pizza and made his way over to help.
Things had been going well. He was already smitten and it hadn’t been that long. When they were almost finished, Louis realized he needed to figure out a way to continue seeing Fearne. Thinking on his feet, he slipped a piece of hardware into his pocket when she had left to get another beer from the kitchen. If it was missing, she couldn’t finish the job. If she couldn’t finish the job, he figured she’d be in need of his help once more.
Five years and one hell of a ride later, that piece of hardware was still buried in the drawer of his bedside table.
“Why not throw it out?” Louis asked genuinely curious as to why she kept it. He had asked himself the same question plenty of times. There was never a good enough reason to do so.
Fearne just shrugged. “Stubborn, I guess.”
“Fuckin’ Northerners.” He shook his head.
“They’re the worst.” She smiled. “Right?”
Louis laughed. “The fucking worst. All about their footie and Oasis.”
Her eyes lit up causing a smirk to form on his face. “You shut your bastard mouth, Tomlinson.”
“Oi love birds, we’ve got bad news.” Niall interrupted. “The camera isn’t working so it’s only audio.”
“Not a problem,” Fearne replied. “No one really needs to see my manky ol’ wellies anyways.”
“What she really means is her manky ol’ mug.” Louis popped off playfully.
Fearne glared at the man sitting across from her. “Like you should be talking, garden gnome.”
His mouth hung open in shock as she giggled to herself. Before he could defend his wardrobe choice, he was forced to get the interview started. He shot her a glare before clearing his throat and testing the microphone.
“Testing, testing. Tommo’s about to interview the biggest brat at Glastonbury.” He enunciated.
“How very dare you.” Fearne glared making the boys around her laugh.
Getting the all clear from Niall, Louis cleared his throat and went into interviewer mode.
“We are at the Glastonbury Festival with the ever so lovely Fearne Phillips,” Louis said as his crew cheered.
“Oi oi,” Fearne replied with a genuine smile on her face.
“You’ve got to talk into the microphone, love.” Louis teased. “S’not like you been doin’ this all morning.”
Her face lit up at his jesting. A playful glare and bare middle finger made their way into the interview.
“Anyways, y’alright Fearnie?” He asked with a smile.
“Doin’ just fine Lou.” She replied with a nod. “You?”
“Couldn’t be better.” He blushed. “How’s the festival been treatin’ ya so far?”
“So far so good. Nothing beats festival season if you ask me.”
“I hear that.” He laughed. “This year’s lineup is pretty ace and I’m told that’s why it sold out in a matter of minutes. Anyone you’re looking forward to seeing?”
“The highlights so far have definitely been The Wombats and Wiley.” She said adjusting the microphone in her hand. “Today will probably be The Kooks if I can make it happen.”
His eyes locked with hers. That was their band. The first band they saw together. The band that constantly crept in and out of their relationship. They couldn’t listen to a song without thinking of each other.
“Think they’re gonna pay ‘Gap’?” He asked with a smirk.
Fearne rolled her eyes. Every single time they saw The Kooks play, Louis made a bet on whether or not they’d play his favorite song. The reward always changed but his side never did. Unfortunately, he was always wrong.
“Mate, come off it. You’re never gonna hear ‘em play ‘Gap’ live.” She said with a grin. “Just not meant to be.”
“I think it’ll happen. So, what’s on the setlist for you today? Anything off the new album? Or are we sticking to the classics?” He said smoothly navigating the conservation in another direction.
“Um, well it’s a bit of both. A few oldies might make their way back on stage. A lot from the album we just toured with.” She said trying to picture the list of songs she had decided on. “I actually have a brand new song that I was hoping to test out.”
“Oh my days, you heard it here folks. Everyone at Glastonbury is going to get a Fearne Phillips exclusive.” He teased. “Is this the first time it’s going to be heard by virgin ears?”
“I mean my brother has heard it at least twenty times so…”
Louis couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think he’ll appreciate that one. Arch, I’ll make sure Ni edits that out for ya, mate.”
“I’ve had to endure his obnoxious snoring for the past three days. He can handle some teasing — it’s the least he could do.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Arch is here?” He asked sounding surprised.
Fearne shook her head, “I should not have told you that.”
Louis’ eyes crinkled as a knowing smile took form. The bromance that had formed between him and Fearne’s brother was unlike any other. Whenever they were together chaos ensued. They had tried to keep in touch after the break-up but it was too difficult.
“Um, I think it’s time to wrap this up, Fearnie. Another Phillips needs to my attention.” Louis said with a playful wink.
“He’ll be going on about that for weeks.” Fearne laughed.
“Good.” He grinned. “We all know you are a veteran of the festival. What are some tips and tricks you’ve learned through the years that some of us more novice attendees should know?”
“I’m amused that you consider yourself a novice, but um make sure you stay hydrated throughout the day. Come with a group you won’t get angry with after five minutes of being with them.” Fearne said trying to think of advice she’d want to hear. “Keep a list of set times and emergency contacts accessible at all times.”
Louis opened his mouth but she quickly cut him off.
“Oh, and don’t take an open bevvy from anyone you don’t know!” She rattled off quickly.
His eyes crinkled as he bit back a smile. She hadn’t changed a bit. Before he could tease her for her maternal instincts, a hand signal was given meaning he needed to move a little quicker. He started asking questions sent in by fans. Before the pair of exes knew it, the interview was over.
“That’s a wrap,” Niall said leaning over the portable soundboard. “Well done.”
“What’s next for you?” Louis asked as a couple of interns started to gather up the microphones.
“More bull shit.” She mumbled leaning forward. “That I really don’t want to do.”
“Why haven’t you fired him?” Louis said his voice low and concerned. “He always does this to you.”
“He’s been me best mate for ages. It’s not all his fault. The team expects the moon.”
Louis shook his head. She really hadn’t changed. She was still the same girl who worked too hard for people who could care less. She was constantly being thrown in a thousand directions and never got a chance to take a break.
“Interview before you wanted me to give teenage girls advice on how to pick up men.” She said sounding glum. “Said nothing about my foundation or charity work. Nothing about how my profits for the last two tours went to music education and girls’ clubs throughout the UK.”
She turned towards him. “You were photographed with this man, this man, and this man. How’d you get them in the sack, Fearne? Give our readers a tutorial on how to lure babes in.”
“I’m fucking tired, Tommo.” She sighed. “Same ol’ shit.”
The exhaustion in her voice ripped him apart.
He reached over to comfort her but stopped halfway. He didn’t know if he should. That wasn’t his job anymore. He wasn’t her protector or confidante. He was the one who threw in the towel when things got rough. He was the one who left her in a hotel room in New York because he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t be in a relationship with an empty bed relying heavily on FaceTime calls and red-eye flights.
He couldn’t be the man she needed and that killed him.
Louis knew he needed to say something though. The look on her face was a look he had seen on more than one occasion. He knew she needed to know that someone was in her corner — that someone was proud of her. However, he didn’t know how much merit he held when it came to Fearne Phillips Fan Club.
He opened his mouth to say something but Declan snagged her attention away. He rambled on about potentially squeezing one more interview in. Fearne tried to argue but her manager wasn’t having it. It’s what the team wanted. His phone started to ring putting a pause in the conversation.
“Have you eaten?” Louis asked pulling her attention away from the situation that was taking place.
She shook her head. “I’m supposed to meet up with SJ and Arch after this.”
“Don’t let him make you do anything else without eating.” He said softly. “The mini shepherd's pies at the booth by the toilets are just like the ones back home. I highly recommend them.”
“I really just want chips. Do they have them?” She asked sounding hopeful.
“Yeah pretty decent too —especially with a pint.”
“Can’t have one of those yet. Still on duty.” Fearne groaned.
“Same here.” Louis smiled.
“What’s on the books for the rest of the day?” She asked trying to take the attention off her.
“A few more interviews and then just chillin’.” He said making her smile.
“You seriously have the life, mate,” Fearne said.
“Best job in the world.” He winked.
“Tell me about it.” She said with a grin.
“What times your set today?” He asked cautiously.
“Five,” Fearne said mid-yawn. “Or so I’m told.”
“Excited for it?” Louis asked.
“Are you always in interview mode?” Niall asked walking by. “Give the girl a break.”
“Yeah, give the girl a break.” Fearne laughed leaning back against the couch.
“Fuck off.” Louis blushed. “Both of ya.”
The pair of adults sat quietly for a few moments watching people work around them. Declan stood off to the side with his phone pressed to his ear. Niall was glued to his laptop trying to fix some kind of recording issue.
“Arch is going to be so happy to see you,” Fearne said.
“Missed that man,” Louis said turning towards her.
Fearne yawned again. “Think Deco will notice if I slip away for a quick snooze?”
“Ehh I’d give him about fifteen minutes before he actually notices,” Louis said leaning against the back of the couch. “I’ll create a diversion for you.”
“You’re the real MVP, Lou.” Fearne smiled.
“Kooks are on at seven, yeah?” He asked with a yawn.
“Uh, I think so.” She yawned back before closing her eyes.
“You really don’t think they are gonna play ‘Gap’?” Louis asked watching her face. She was even more gorgeous than he remembered.
“When have they ever?” She replied.
He scanned her face once more before responding, “You never know anything could happen.”
“Fearne, we have to — shit… is she asleep?” Declan’s voice called out from in front of them.
“Come back in twenty and she’ll be ready to go,” Louis said taking his eyes off the woman beside her.
“Fearne, we have to go. Russell wants a quick word.” Declan said walking towards the couch.
“Tell Russell he can fuck off,” Fearne replied dryly.
“He writes my checks so I can’t do that,” Declan said as he slipped his phone into his pocket.
“Actually, mate, she’s the one who writes your checks.” Louis nodded towards Fearne. “Without this one, you lot wouldn’t have jobs.”
A small smile formed on Fearne’s face as she opened one eye to look at the man sitting beside her. If there was one thing she loved about Louis Tomlinson, it was his ability to stick up for the people he cared about. No matter what the circumstances where, if you meant something to him, he’d have your back for life. It was nice to see that despite everything that had happened between them, when it came down to it, he still cared.
“Easy there, Lou. We all know how this fight ends.” Fearne said patting him on the leg.
“Still doesn’t make it right.” He mumbled shyly.
“We need to go,” Declan said ignoring whatever moment was being shared.
“I’m not doing anything until I get food,” Fearne said as she stood up. A smug smirk formed on Louis’ face. He always liked when she took his advice and stood up for herself.
“We have to talk to —“ Declan started to say.
“Fuck Russell. I’m starving.” She said placing her hands on her hips. “I’m eating with my brother and SJ. Fuck I’ll even take eating with Tommo and Ni. I need food.”
“Diva,” Declan mumbled as he pulled out his phone to send a quick update to her team.
“Up for some grub?” Fearne asked nodding at Louis.
“You American now?” Louis teased making her blush.
“Lived in LA for a month and she thinks she’s a Yank.” Declan joked — eyes never leaving his phone.
Louis laughed at the light jesting.
“Fuck you,” Fearne mumbled shyly.
“Tommo, we are about twenty minutes out for the next one,” Niall called over to him.
“So that’s a no on food,” Fearne said with a weak smile.
“Kooks at seven?” Louis asked as he stood up.
“If I can make it, yeah,” Fearne said leaning in for the hug.
“Brilliant,” Louis said as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Good to see you, Lou.” She whispered in his ear.
“You too, Fearnie,” Louis whispered back.
And like that, she was gone.
Louis stood quietly as his mind attempted to process what had just happened.
Niall walked over and closed the space between them. He patted Louis’ side gently. “Talk to me.”
“Did that really just happen?” Louis asked — his voice low and full of disbelief.
“It’s just Fearnie,” Niall said. “You can breathe now.”
Louis exhaled loudly as he turned towards his best friend. They had talked about this moment hypothetically on weekends away and drunken nights out. Never in a million years had he anticipated running into her again. He had made a point to avoid her at all costs. He just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her after everything that happened. It hurt too much.
“You did good.” Niall smiled. “Take a ten and call Mum, yeah?”
“She’s in the middle of the lunch rush at the diner,” Louis said checking the time on his phone. “And besides, a woman like Fearne Phillips deserves more than a ten-minute analysis with Sadie.”
“Okay,” Niall said gnawing on his lower lip. “Um, tell me what you need. A break? A pint?”
“I-I-I don’t know,” Louis stuttered not sure what he needed to do to get his heart to stop pounding. He cleared his throat and looked around the tent. “Let’s just go on with the show and deal with it later.”
“Lou--” Niall sighed.
Louis faked a smile and patted his best friend on the stomach. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”
“Fuck, Tommo. We don’t need a repeat of--” Niall started to say as Louis placed a hand on the Irishman’s shoulder.
“S’not gonna be like last time,” Louis said unconvincingly. “Let’s just uh focus on the next interview.”
“Alright.” Niall sighed. “If you need a minute, you have to tell me.”
“Ni, fuck off.” Louis smiled. “I’m good.”
But Louis Tomlinson wasn’t good. His body went into autopilot for the rest of the evening. Cheeky banter, a flirtatious wink, and his outspoken behavior were thrown into each remaining interviews. The show went on as usual.
Louis Tomlinson’s mind, however, was nowhere near the musical festival. It was grounded at Customs at Heathrow the day things ended. It danced around that chippery in Brighton they went to in the summer. It flew across the States making pit stops in Denial and Despair. It sat on his mum’s couch as she laid into him for giving up so easily. It froze when it remembered the way she would stare at him when he told a story — as if she’d never heard anything like it. It stressed over what he was to do next.
Did he call his mother? Did he get drunk and try to forget the woman who was unforgettable? Or did he give in to his desires and watch her play for the first time in ages?
Because that’s really what he wanted to do. As soon as she walked away, he wanted to be beside her. He wanted to hear her sing and watch her perform. He wanted to make her laugh and have her call him a bastard when the tiniest things inconvenienced her. He wanted so many things that he hadn’t wanted in years and that was terrifying.
Louis couldn’t believe what he was about to witness. It took three pints and two shepherd’s pies to convince himself to walk across the venue to stand side stage for one of the biggest acts in all of England. He was hoping the liquid courage would get him through the songs he knew were about him and the ones he hadn’t heard yet.
“You sure about this, Lou?” Niall asked as they claimed their spot.
Louis laughed nervously, “Not in the slightest.”
“We can uh go hang around until it’s time for The Kooks.” Niall offered knowing this was a big step for his best friend.
The drum kits were being switched out as the crowd started to grow in size. The two men shuffled out of the way as crew members worked as quickly as they could to get things ready.
“I am at a music festival and ‘ve barely seen anyone play. Can we please just watch a set?” Louis groaned annoyed.
“We can go pick another one,” Niall said. “I’m sure some indie group is playing across the way.”
“You knew as soon as I saw her I was going to be drawn in again,” Louis said. “Haven’t listened to her sing in five years. First thing I thought of when she walked away was that I’m going to see her set today. Don’t know what it is about her, Ni, but I have to be here.”
Niall nodded knowing it was inevitable. Once Louis set his mind on something he rarely changed it. “Can you give me a signal if it gets to be too much?”
“God, you sound just like Liv.” Louis laughed thinking of his sister.
“Why’s that?” Niall asked confused.
“Ever since she was twelve, Olivia decided she needed to look after her big brother,” Louis explained. “Mum was busy with the diner. Dad was non-existent. When I’d come home from uni, I’d try to make sure things were in order around the house. Liv would always try to take care of me.”
“On my first Fearneless Christmas, we went to me Uncle Tim’s house. I drove Liv while Mum drove the others. She was going to stay at Aunt Margie’s while me and the girls headed down to Dad’s.” Louis continued. “No one really said anything but they were keeping an eye on me. Liv told me that if I needed a break to come squeeze her elbow and she’d intervene.”
“She’s a smart kid.” Niall smiled. “How’d that turn out for you?”
“Pop and Gran knew better to bring it up. Aunt Margie gave me a little cuddle when we finally went inside. Fuckin’ Uncle Tim and his twat of a girlfriend were only concerned with what I was going to sell to the media about the relationship. ‘Did Fearne do this? Did Fearne do that?’ Absolute bull shit.”
“It didn’t get to me until his girlfriend’s daughter started to slag her off. It took one squeeze and Liv was making an excuse to get us both outside. She stole me keys and drove us to a park nearby. I cried in the passenger seat and she just let me. She didn’t try to make things better. She didn’t try to change the subject. She just let me know it was going to get better.”
Niall couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming story. The bond between Louis and his siblings was truly one of a kind.
“She’s gonna flip when she hears about how today went,” Louis said with a soft smile.
Guitars were being brought in and an ancient looking rug was being placed center stage.
“How bad are the songs?” Louis asked in a hushed tone.
“Nothing you can’t handle,” Niall said. “We still haven’t talked about earlier.”
“Can’t we just debrief tomorrow morning like we do every festival?” Louis asked rolling his eyes — not wanting to have analyze everything that had happened earlier in the day.
“This isn’t like every festival.” Niall pointed out.
“I survived the interview. I can survive the set.” Louis said trying to convince himself more than anything.
“You sure about that Tomlinson?” The voice of a woman he never thought he’d run into again said from beside him.
Standing in all her glory was Fearne's best friend, Samantha Jane Wilkinson.
“Sammy J!” Niall cheered as he made his way towards the tall blonde. “Lookin’ good babes.”
“You are like a fine wine, Horan.” The woman said kissing his cheek. “Better with age.”
Niall Horan’s infamous laugh filled the air as she moved towards Louis. Without saying a word, she pulled him into a hug. He placed a brief kiss on her cheek before saying hello.
“So Tommo, who the fuck did you bribe at the BBC to get that interview with Fearnie earlier?” She asked as she pulled away.
“No one,” Louis said feeling his chest grow tight. He knew how her mind worked and he couldn’t say that he had missed it.
Samantha Jane had always been overprotective of Fearne and wary of anyone who got too close. Her brash and boisterous attitude constantly clashed with Louis’ causing a love-hate relationship to form between the two.
“Really?” Samantha Jane asked unimpressed.
“Matt had some dodgy meat and is still shitting his brains out as we speak,” Louis explained.
“Right.” She replied dryly.
“Go check the loo for yourself,” Niall said trying to help Louis out. “I had it planned so they’d never see each other.”
“So it was fate, then?” Samantha Jane tilted her head. “Interesting.”
“How ya been, babe?” Niall asked trying to change the subject. Louis didn’t need this kind of talk filling his already confused head.
“Fab. Just livin’ the life.” She smiled sadly. Both men took note of it. “How bout you guys?”
“Can’t complain. Living the dream every day.” Niall said rocking back on his heels.
“Just keepin’ busy,” Louis said.
“If you want to see Arch, he usually stands on the other side.” Samantha Jane pointed out.
“Oh yeah?” Louis asked turning his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Fearne’s older brother stood with a drink in his hand as he talked to a pair of blondes.
“Him and Fucktard don’t let me near them when she’s on stage.” She explained.
Louis turned towards her confused, “Why?”
“No idea.” Samantha Jane sighed. “It’s Declan’s doing. Apparently, I’m a distraction.”
“Why the fuck is that man still around?” Louis crossed his arms over chest.
“You know how she is.” The woman sighed as she settled into a spot beside him. “The team thinks he’s good at his job and we’ve been mates since we were in nappies so he’s here for good.”
“Fucking bull shit, if you ask me,” Louis mumbled.
“At least that’s something we still agree on.” She said.
A small huddle formed near the stairs leading up to the stage. Microphones were being checked while a sea of people waited anxiously for Fearne and her band to take the stage. Louis almost couldn’t believe his eyes at the size of the crowd that had formed. If there was anyone that deserved that kind of recognition, it was her.
Before he could get caught up in the insanity of it all, Louis felt someone nudge him. The blonde woman beside him moved a bit closer to him before speaking in a low tone.
“Don’t know what you did, Lou.” She said placing a hand on his shoulder. “She came back like a bloody schoolgirl.”
“I-I-I didn’t do anything.” Louis sputtered.
“She was giddy, mate. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen her genuinely happy.” Samantha Jane smiled.
“When you barely get any time off and are living out of a suitcase, I could see that bein’ true,” Louis said.
“She’s getting time off so it’ll be good for her.” She said.
“Until something pops up and she has to do it or Russell will be up her arse about it,” Louis said as he watched Declan appear across the stage.
“She needs new people around her but she won’t listen to me when I try to tell her.” Samantha Jane said sounding a bit disappointed. “I guess I did that to myself though.”
She cleared her throat hoping it would distract him from what she had said. “Anyways, I don’t know what today means or if this is going to be a reoccurring thing.”
Louis looked at her confused. “What are you on about?”
“She’s not as strong as she looks so if whatever this is going to be goes south again, you’re going to have to answer to me this time. Got it?” She stated with a bit of malice.
“Something has to happen before it can go south.” He shot back ignoring the thoughts in the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to go there. It was too soon.
“I know I’m jumping the gun but I can’t lose her again.” Samantha Jane said. “She’s all I’ve got.”
“Don’t worry, Sam. I wo—“ Louis started to say before he was drowned out by the screams of the crowd.
The fiery brunette who held a special place in his heart raced past him and took her place in the center of the stage.
“Glastonbury,” Fearne yelled out. “How the fuck are ya?”
A smug look formed on his face. She hadn’t changed a bit.
Samantha Jane leaned in and cupped her hand over his ear before she spoke. “Our girl has become one hell of a performer. You’re in for a treat.”
Samantha Jane was right. Fearne Phillips was one hell of a performer and Louis nearly regretted staying away from her music for the past few years. Her stage presence and artistry were truly one of a kind. She really was one of the greatest artists of their generation. Louis spent the entirety of her set absolutely buzzing. Music festivals were tough for him. It was a lot of work and very little play so when he got the opportunity to see a set he tried to make it count.
Oddly enough, watching his ex-girlfriend sing songs about him and their past had proven to be worth it. He followed Niall down the stairs as crew members rushed past them to start taking things down. Samantha Jane followed behind him typing away on her phone.
Niall opened his mouth to ask what was going to happen next but the leggy blonde in the back beat him to it.
“You lot stayin’ for Kooks?” Samantha Jane asked looking between the pair of men.
“Uh, yeah,” Louis responded without missing a beat.
Niall shot him a concerned look but Louis dismissed it.
“Boss Lady wants us to head over there and she’ll meet us there. That alright with you, Ni?” She asked focusing back on her phone.
Niall looked at Louis. “You sure bout this?”
“He survived the interview and the set. Tommo can do anythin’.” Samantha Jane teased.
“Oh fuck off,” Louis said with a laugh.
“Arch will be absolutely chuffed to see ya both.” She smiled slipping her phone into her bag. “Glad you said yes. Boss Lady wasn’t gonna let me walk by meself anyways.”
“She runs a tight ship.” Niall joked.
“You have no fucking idea.” She rolled her eyes.
The group of adults made their way out of the backstage area and onto the festival grounds. They had thirty minutes to walk across the field, reunite with their friends, and claim their spot.
As they reached their designated meet spot, Niall and Louis shared a look that was usually reserved for “on the air” moments. It was a way for Niall to check in on Louis without drawing other people’s attention. He signed that he was good allowing the Irishman to take a sigh of relief.
“So Nialler, gotta life or death question for ya. Are you single or what?” Samantha Jane asked.
“Why? You down?” Niall smirked causing a pretty serious blush to form on the young woman’s cheeks.
“She’d eat you alive, mate,” Louis said shaking his head.
Samantha Jane tilted her head to the side. “He could handle it.”
Niall shifted on his feet not realizing how much damage a gaze from Samantha Jane Wilkinson could cause.
“He’s my baby. You’d destroy him.” Louis said glancing over at his best friend. “Can’t be havin’ that.”
“I thought you were trying to get with Declan,” Niall asked finally finding his voice.
“No. He tried it on with me.” Samantha Jane said. “And then Fearnie but uh that didn’t go over too well.”
Louis stayed quiet. He always had a feeling that Declan was a bit smitten with his missus but he could never prove it. Hearing he tried something with Fearne after they split wasn’t surprising in the slightest.
“That’s a story for another day.” Samantha Jane said before clearing her throat. “So, you lads seeing anyone?”
“Do you ever keep it in your pants, SJ?” Archie Phillips called out catching everyone’s attention.
“Like you should be talking.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.
“Not my fault, ladies love me,” Archie said smugly. “Unlike you.”
“Arch, leave her alone,” Fearne said hitting her brother across the stomach.
“Yeah. Leave me alone.” Samantha Jane retorted childishly.
“As you get older, you think to yourself that maybe today will be the day when they grow out of it. That maybe this will be the moment of clarity they need.” Archie said looking around the group. “But then it hits you, they’ll never change.”
“They are always going to be annoying little sisters.” Archie winked at Louis.
“Little sisters really are the worst.” Louis laughed as he moved towards the man.
“Bring it in bruv.” Archie smiled with outstretched arms.
“It’s been too long.” Louis smiled as the two men embraced.
“Tell me about it. You’re almost an old man now.” Archie said making the others laugh.
“Like he should be talking.” Samantha Jane mumbled.
“Oi, watch it, Sammy.” Archie glared.
“How the fuck is City at the top of the table?” Louis asked stepping away from the man who was like an older brother to him.
“Because United doesn’t know how to play football.” Archie deadpanned making his sister laugh.
“Let’s not talk football.” Samantha Jane sighed.
“Just because you guys picked a shit team—“ Fearne started to say before Louis cut her off.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because at the moment you’re doin’ well for yourself doesn’t mean you can be all high n’ mighty, Phillips.” Louis teased.
She threw her hands up in defense. “Sorry, didn’t know it was a touchy subject for ya.”
Louis rolled his eyes while the people around him laughed.
“Question for ya though, how are the Donny Rovers doin’?” She smirked knowing his other football team wasn’t doing too well either.
“Oh fuck you.” He shook his head.
“That was a low blow, Fearnie.” Archie sighed. “That’s the man’s pride and joy right there.”
“Seems to me Louis doesn’t know how to pick a football team.” Fearne smiled making Louis blush.
“You have one good season and you think you’re hot shit.” Louis shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“How many times has United won the title since Fergie left?” She shot back making Niall laugh.
Louis attempted to defend himself but he couldn’t. A pleased look formed on his ex-girlfriend’s face.
“We’ve got all night to watch you twos flirt with each other. I need me a pint. Anyone else keen?” Archie teased.
Everyone in their small group had agreed that a pint (or two) was needed.
“I’ll go with you to get one,” Fearne said quickly.
“It’s okay. Deco and the Irish One can come with me.” Archie said thinking on his feet. Keeping his sister safe was a top priority and having her walk around in a crowd of festival-goers didn’t seem like a good idea.
“You sure about this?” Niall asked looking over at Louis.
“Yeah. What he said.” Fearne said giving her brother a confused look.
“SJ can play minder. Make sure everything goes smoothly. No more football talk until we get back. Sound good?” Archie said giving his sister a reassuring look.
“I don’t know if that’s smart,” Declan said moving closer to Fearne. “Maybe I should stay back too.”
Louis kept his eyes on Fearne’s face. She was not having it.
“It’s fine. Go with Arch.” Louis said stepping in. “We’ll behave. We’re adults now.”
“I’ll take care of your babies.” Samantha Jane said catching onto what Louis was trying to do. “We’ll be good, yeah?”
“Alright, let’s go boys,” Archie said turning around.
With that, Fearne Phillips found herself alone with her best friend and her ex-boyfriend. It was such a weird feeling. She never thought she’d get this moment again. She turned to say something but Samantha Jane just shook her head.
“What?” Fearne asked confused.
“He’s got to go.” Samantha Jane said with a serious look on her face.
“Sam, I can’t—“ Fearne sighed knowing what she was referring to.
“At least tell Arch. He deserves to know.” Samantha Jane said.
“We can talk about this later,” Fearne said glancing at Louis shyly.
“He knows you can take care of things on your own so why was he was so keen to stay?” Samantha Jane pointed out.
“Because I’m here,” Louis said. “He’s always been a jealous twat.”
“But he’s good at his job,” Fearne said as if that were a good enough reason.
“You deserve better than that,” Louis said with a sad smile.
Fearne felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew Louis was right but he didn’t know the whole story. In an attempt to change the subject, Fearne cleared her throat and threw a fabricated smile on her face before looking between Louis and her best friend.“Guess what this twat asked me today during the interview?”
“If he fucking brought up ‘Gap’, I’m gonna lose it.” Samantha Jane said looking over at Louis.
“Still thinks they are gonna play it.” Fearne laughed making Louis blush.
“You never know,” Louis said defending himself. “Today’s been a wild card of a day. Anything could happen.”
“Okay, Ellie Goulding.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.
“I bet — “ Louis started to say but Fearne’s laughter stopped him.
“Fuck, I’ve actually missed this.” Samantha Jane said amazed by her own words. “You just like losing, don’t ya Tommo?”
“They don’t play it, I’ll buy you a pint,” Louis said sticking out his hand for Fearne to shake. “If they do, you owe me.”
“You could have spiced things up a bit, Lou. That was like child’s play.” Samantha Jane added.
Ignoring her best friends commentary, Fearne reached out and shook his hand. She noticed his fingers lingered against hers longer than they should have. It was interesting.
“Since you two are gettin’ on quite well, mind if I bail? I see an eight with a beard makin’ heart eyes at me.” Samantha Jane said nodding a guy standing nearby.
“Keep your phone on,” Fearne said looking over her shoulder at the group of people the stranger belonged to.
“Yes, Mum.” Samantha Jane said adjusting her top.
“No drugs,” Fearne said sternly.
“Yeah, yeah.” She said slipping her phone into her bag.
“I’m being serious SJ,” Fearne said grabbing onto her friend’s hand.
Samantha Jane looked her in the eye. “ No drugs. I promise.”
“Have fun.” Fearne nodded.
The blonde leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before disappearing into the crowd.
“I can send Niall after her when he gets back if you want me to.” Louis offered.
“If she’s not back after the set, I’ll take you up on that,” Fearne said with a soft smile.
Louis nodded as he moved a little closer to her. The pair of adults stayed silent as mobs of people moved around them. It was almost surreal. After all this time, they were going to be watching a band that had basically defined their relationship.
“I can see why Georgette is obsessed with your latest album,” Louis said breaking the silence.
“Oh Georgie, bless her.” Fearne smiled. Louis’ middle sister was always her favorite.
“Might have to pick myself up a copy of the ones I’ve missed.” He said with a smile.
“I think this next set is going to be much better than what you just watched,” Fearne said unable to accept his compliment. Louis has a very strong opinion when it came to music so knowing he approves of all the songs that were influenced by him was something she couldn’t quite comprehend.
“You’ve done well for yourself, kid,” Louis said softly.
“Thanks, Lou.” Fearne blushed.
A brief silence settled in once more as new groups formed around them. She moved a little closer to him. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to bring something up but he was holding back. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew it had to be serious because biting his tongue wasn’t one of Louis’ specialties.
“You alright?” Fearne nudged him gently.
“Ye-Yeah.” Louis stuttered. He cleared his throat letting her know he was lying. Fearne didn’t press the matter.
She just nodded as she looked up at him.“I’ve got like two more festival dates and then I’m off for a year. Can you believe it?”
“Fearne Phillips actually gets time off? Blasphemy.” Louis replied dryly.
“Shocking, I know.” She laughed.
“What are you gonna do?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest.
“Um, sleep.” She shrugged. “Haven’t had a year off since I started. I’m overdue on this whole sleep thing.”
“You’re right about that.” He laughed softly.
“I dunno what else. Maybe head home and get back to me Northern roots.” She said turning on her true accent.
“The North better prepare themselves.” He said.
Fearne giggled. “Been back recently?”
Louis shook his head. “No, but hope to soon.”
“I’m sure they’re missing ya.” She said.
“They get to hear me every afternoon so they aren’t missin’ me that much.” He said with a shrug.
It wasn’t long before a group of guys beside them recognized her. She sent a tight smile in their directions before moving closer to him. He moved to the other side of her body acting as a buffer from the group of men.
“Fifty quid, we get papped and sent to The Sun tomorrow.” She mumbled nodded to another group of people that had spotted them. Mobile phones were out and photos were being taken.
“Britain’s next It couple,” Louis said.
Fearne laughed. “Fearne Phillips reignites illicit tryst with scorned ex-lover Louis Tomlinson.”
“Louis Tomlinson smokes out pop star ex-girlfriend Fearne Phillips during festival love fest.” Louis rattled off.
“Remember when they thought we shagged in me car after that god awful trip back home?” She snorted remembering the unflattering paparazzi pictures.
“Never heard the end of that one.” He blushed.
“We got into some trouble, didn’t we?” She said looking up at him with a happy look on her face.
“Wouldn’t change it for the world though.” He nodded.
“Maybe less fighting,” Fearne said softly. “But I agree.”
“But the fighting brought us closer.” He said with a sigh.
“You are right about that.” She said with a nod. No matter how bad the fight was, no one went to bed angry.
“I wanna see you when you get back from being home,” Louis said leaning in close. He didn’t know why those words chose that moment to escape from his mouth but he was happy that they did. “Might be too forward but I don’t give a fuck.”
“Why’s that?” Fearne asked confused.
“Your accent gets thicker and you get more annoyed with the City.” He said smugly.
She laughed to herself. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”
Before Louis got the chance to confirm plans, someone nudged him. He turned to find Fearne’s brother with two fresh pints in his hand. He graciously took one before making room for the other boys to join in.
“No tears? No blood? No fightin’?” Archie asked looking confused. “You lot alright?”
“Fuck off, Arch.” Fearne sighed. “We’re capable of being friends. We’re adults now.”
“Where’d SJ go?” Declan asked handing Fearne the extra pint in his hand.
“Off to suck some fella’s face off,” Fearne explained.
“But she --” Archie started to say sounding worried.
“She promised she wouldn’t,” Fearne said knowing what her brother was going to ask.
“I offered to send Ni after her,” Louis said before taking a sip of his drink.
“She’ll be fine boys.” Fearne faked a smile. “Let’s focus on the show.”
“You’re too trusting, Fearnie,” Declan said. “She comes back on one, that’s on you.”
The young woman opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. It wasn’t worth the argument. Instead, she gripped her drink a little tighter and made her way to an open area that was away from her friends. She didn’t need the boys to ruin the rest of her night by making her feel guilty for trusting Samantha Jane. Unlike them, she always Samantha Jane the benefit of the doubt — even if she didn’t always deserve it.
Without a word, Louis moved from his spot beside Archie and took up the space beside his ex-girlfriend. Her body was tense until she realized it was him. Her actions didn’t go unnoticed. When he focused on Fearne’s face, he knew something wasn’t right.
Louis leaned in close. “She’s gonna be fine.”
“Even if she wasn’t, it’s not like they are gonna be the ones helping her when she’s coming off a bad trip. Or holding her hair back when she’s spewing her guts out or keeping her hydrated the next day.” She mumbled. “It’s not like they actually give a shit.”
“She’s lucky to have you.” He said sincerely.
Fearne could feel her cheeks grow warm. “Actually, I’m lucky to have her.”
“That’s true. I know this isn’t me place but I uh meant what I said earlier about Deco. You deserve better.” He said taking a sip of his drink. “He’s a fucking twat.”
“Biggest twat on the fuckin’ planet,” Fearne mumbled. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”
Louis laughed making her smile. The lights went out on stage alerting the entire crowd that things were about to kick off. Archie and the boys made their way over to where Fearne and Louis had been standing. A bit of mindless chatter began amongst them as they waited for the show to begin.
Intro music began sending a wave of electricity throughout the crowd. Fearne felt herself move closer to Louis. She couldn’t believe this was happening. After all this time, they were back together and about to watch their favorite band.
“Lou.” She said nudging him.
“Hmm.” He mumbled looking over at her.
The look in his eye was something she’d never forget. Louis had a way of making her feel like the most important person in the world whenever she spoke. It was something she had missed.
“I’m glad we ran into each other.” She said.
His cheeks grew warm from the sincerity in her voice.
“Past few years, everyone has asked me what I thought would happen if we saw each other again and this has honestly been better than anything I could ever imagine.” She admitted.
“I guess it was a good thing that Matty nearly shit himself.” Louis joked making her laugh.
“Thankin’ me lucky stars for that.” She winked.
“Mum isn’t going to believe the day I’ve had.” He said with a smile.
Before anything else could be said, the kick drum kicked in causing the crowd to roar with excitement.
The rest of the night felt like a dream. She couldn’t have asked for a better weekend. She was surrounded by good food, good music, and good people. A few more drinks were shared before everyone parted ways for the night.
Fearne Phillips didn’t know how it happened but she felt rejuvenated. It could have been because her work duties were over. It could have been the fact that her vacation was only two weeks away. It could have been the small reunion with a man who made up so many memories from her past. She didn’t know.
She did know that she wasn’t the same person as she was when she woke up that morning. That was something to be happy about.
As she got ready for bed that night, her phone buzzed on the counter of the caravan’s bathroom. On the screen was a number she hadn’t recognized but the message gave the sender away.
Tuesday. Stags Head. Lunch is on me even though you lost, loser. x
A goofy grin formed on her face. She quickly shot back a reply before adding his new number to her phone.
Maybe being friends with Louis wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.
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Show of the Week - Darksiders 2
Next one giffed and transcribed! Let me know if there are mistakes!
Also @outsidexboxofficial, is that Andy under that mask?
(Jane)
Hello and welcome to OutsideXbox’s Show of the Week. It’s a show, it’s weekly, and this time we’re all about Darksiders 2 and its hero, death.
(Andy)
Death, that reminds me, Mike died.
(Jane)
What?
(Andy)
Yeah, yeah, he died. He said that we should claim on his life insurance to use the money to build a better studio.
(Jane)
But, how, how did that happen?
(Andy)
Uh, that lighting rig. Remember from last week that fell on him.
[Dramatic/sad music plays]
(Jane)
Oh. Well I guess we’ll have to just try and move on and what better way than with our game of the week. The original Darksiders, released back in 2010, starred the first of its four horsemen of the apocalypse. That was War, who was framed for starting Armageddon too early. Now in Darksiders 2 you play as his bony brother, Death.
(Death)
The tree of life is where I will find my brother’s absolution.
(Jane)
As Death, you are out to clear War’s name and you’re going to do it with crunchy combat, nimble platforming and lot of lovely loot. Like the first game, Darksiders 2 does a great job of spicing God of War like action with a Zelda style hub and dungeon structure. New though is the Prince of Persia like platforming for clamboring around and the loot system for kitting out Skullface McNoMouth with ever better weapons and armour. As this grim reaper, you’ll be harvesting more random item drops than human skulls and among the rarest are possessed level weapons. These are weapons you can individually level up by permanently sacrificing other items to them. Very cool. And that’s all without delving into the skill trees that let you summon ghouls and crows or Death’s unholy winged reaper thorn. Darksiders 2 is an enormous adventure, with masses of variety but does credit to its many inspirations. For that, it’s out game of the week.
(Mike)
So here I am, genuinely dead. In limbo, killed after the pilot. And waiting for death to come and claim me. Um, I should probably check out this handbook for the recently deceased and see what I’m up against. Turns out I can challenge death to the game of my choice for a chance to claim back my soul.
[Electronic music plays]
(Mike)
How are you so good at this? You don’t even have ligaments!
(Andy)
What are we going to do for content now that Mike’s dead? He was supposed to do this feature, what is the deal with FPS’s? I was looking forward to that.
(Jane)
I, uh, guess we could contact him beyond the veil and see if he’s got any ideas for content.
(Andy)
Yeah, good idea. Let me call the psychic hotline.
(On the Phone) Hello? Uh yes I’m looking to get in contact with my friend Mike. He’s dead you see. Yeah. About 5’10, curly hair, doesn’t wear hats. Yes, yes, that’s the one.
(To Jane) Apparently, he’s left a message for us.
(Mike)
Alright guys sorry I can’t come to the phone. Currently locked in competition with the Grim Reaper in a selection of Xbox 360 games. Tell you what though, I had a snoop around his IMDB page while I waited for him to turn up. This guy is prolific. Turns out Death features heavily in video games and not just in the “I was repeatedly capped by a 12-year-old Call of Duty prodigy” sense either. The skeletal personification of Death, the Grim Reaper, must have a great agent because he’s more ubiquitous than Fearne Cotton. And very nearly as skinny too. Death might have a rare starring role in Darksiders 2 but arguably his most famous gaming appearance is in The Sims. Turning up like an unwelcome party guest to claim the souls of your neglected, malnourished, urine saturated virtual people. Previous games allowed other Sims to plead for the life of the victims but as of The Sims 3, the first in the series on Xbox 360, you have to beat him at Chess. If he’s not too busy playing Burnout Paradise, that is. Of course, when it comes to beating Death you can take a more hands on approach and thump him until he gives up. In Dante’s Inferno, the Reaper gets his bony arse handed to him within the first ten minutes of the game. Which begs the question, if his scythe isn’t powerful enough to kill a single puny poet, why does Dante bother to steal it and use it for the entire rest of the game? By and large, Paperboy was filled with pretty believable occupational hazards for a newspaper delivery boy. Dogs, skateboarders, the gradual decline of the print media, that sort of thing. Something of a surprise then to see Death turning up in suburban America with the express intention of clotheslining you off your BMX. Classic PC adventure game, Grim Fandango, featured an entire bureau of Grim Reapers of which hero Manny Calavera is one. In his role of Death, he acts as a sort of travel agent to the afterlife. Wonder how in competes with the ones offering a weekend call through with flights for less than 500 quid. Death’s a regular in Guitar Hero turning up as the “Grim Ripper” in no less than four of the games. Naturally, rather than a regular guitar he plays a heavily modified scythe. And it turns out you can perform fancy fretwork even if you have no flesh on your fingertips. Final Fantasy VII had a variety of weird and wonderful summons and while Hades shares a name with the Greek God of the Underworld, he’s the opposite of a strapping, bearded deity. With that hood and skull for a face, he’s clearly the Grim Reaper. Though he swapped his scythe for a more unwieldy cauldron. Perhaps he reaps souls with salmonella instead. Wouldn’t want to put money on which end it would come out though.
(To Death) Ah, friendly reaper inbound, right? Yeah? You know? Reaper? It’s ironic, right?
(Andy)
Well, I guess we should go through Mike’s will.
(Jane)
Yeah, right. Um. Huh, it looks like it’s just instructions on getting an achievement in Darksiders 2.
(Andy)
Weird, what does it say?
(Jane)
To whom it may concern, how are you? I am fine. If you’re reading this, I’m already dead. If you knew me, Mike Channel, in life you know I was a selfless, thoughtful kind of guy. That’s why I want my Last Will and Testament to bequeath ten easy gamer score on everyone. Or at least everyone who is playing Darksiders 2. The Triple Lindy is an easy but secret achievement and unlike most of Darksiders 2 ‘chivos it’s not one you’ll pick up just by completing the main quests and collecting all the collectibles. A few hours into the game, when you’re on the Heart of the Mountain main quest, you get access to The Foundry. As you’re working your way through this dungeon, you’ll come to this enormous open area over a big pool of water. On this wall to your left, up high, are three balconies. Now, you’re going to take Death for a swim. Jump in the pool, climb up the wall using the vines and your death grip power, turn right at the top and take a high dive back down into the water below. Swim back to the wall with the stroke of your choice, climb back on up and take a left at the top. Find the next balcony and take another dive. Try a somersault on the way down. Then it’s rinse and repeat, literally ha ha, as you reclimb the wall, go left again at the top and go for a triple pike back down into the water where you’ll find ten sweet gamer score waiting for you. So, there you go, my final gift to the world. Remember me for that, okay? And not whatever you find in my flat.
(Mike)
(singing) Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you.
[Sounds of bells and whistling wind]
(Mike)
HA! In your face Death! You should have rubbed it on your cloak, see ya!
(To Andy) Ahhhh. I’ve defeated Death and managed to breach the barrier between the land of the living and the land of the dead. So, all I’ve gotta do now is finish my earthly business and then I can rest in peace.
(Andy)
Well Jane’s gone for coffee, do you have time to do the feedback with me?
(Mike)
Yeah, I’ve got five minutes.
(Andy)
In this week’s comments, we hear what you make of subterranean bounty hunter adventure Star Wars 1313 which may or may not be the salvation of the floundering Star Wars franchise. On Facebook, James Chiswell-Carter said “As far as I’m concerned, it can’t be as bad as Star Wars Kinect or Episodes 1-3, sticky tongue out face”. While Paul Lawrence asks “What was wrong with Stars War Kinect? Hahaha, fooled you, yeah it was rubbish!”. Aw man, classic bait and switch there. He sent us one way than bam, went the other.
(Mike)
Jedi mind trick. In a feedback for Andy’s preview of 1313, DivineJayBob says of the placeholder protagonist “stick a hipster beard on him and he looks a bit like Andy. Maybe Andy’s Boba Fett”.
(Andy)
Yeah, I don’t see it.
(Mike)
How do you feel about hunting bounties?
(Andy)
Ambivalent at best
(Mike)
Yeah, not a big fan of coconut either. Also on your Star Wars 1313 preview, Craig Dav… urgh, David Craig… [interrupted]
(Andy)
Oh god, not this again.
(Mike)
And John Brogan… [interrupted]
(Andy)
Yeah I was doing a… [interrupted]
(Mike)
And SpazzidNinjaDude all took issue with your pronunciation of coruscant.
(Andy)
And that was the best take we got.
[clip of Andy saying the word “Coruscant” in more increasingly bizarre ways ending with saying it as “Karen Carpenter”]
(Jane)
Dear insurance agency, as you can see from this episode of Show of the Week, Mike is definitely definitely dead and that’s why we as his close friends and beneficiaries of his estate should receive his life insurance pay out in full.
(Andy)
Thank you for watching.
(On the phone) Mike? Yeah, they bought it.
(Jane)
Camera’s still on.
(Andy)
It went off without a hitch.
(Jane)
Camera’s still on.
(Andy)
Oh, sorry, sorry.
(On the phone) Yeah, so we’ll split the money three ways.
(Jane)
Still on!
(Andy)
Oh, yeah sorry, sorry. Illegal things are the best!
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exandria unlimited episode 1: bacon lips rob ships
mala: cr is over, time for new cr
THE NAMELESS ONES why is that such a cool title
oh I really like this twitch frame thing
ashley. ma'am. I'm already gay.
aimee's fun buns
Comfy Matt
omar is a terrible co-star
oh no omar found the treat pocket
oh just let him go lmao
oh what is THIS
what kind of HBO intro
(this is not a complaint)
who had air ashari on their bingo card
art!!
ANIMATED ART??
the keep!!
(is anyone still in the keep)
cries
mala: liam going straight back to his ex
bard? bard???
bard!!
oh ashley's out to kill me
a FAUN??
I've known Fearne Calloway for twenty seconds and if anything happened to her -
liam's chinhandsing is me
FIRE MONKEY
I can't believe fearne's familiar is a chimchar
DORF
mala: Ferne: uwu
Little Mister: O{}O
I really like these character cards
matt: five
aabria: thank you rnjesus for this gift
I have had Opal for twenty seconds
"he's been practicing"
Monkey and the Angry Man, coming this fall
"it's canon now"
[travis voice] we should animate this
"we don't have to do the sound" too late
we lost matt
I cannot remember the last time I had to do the finger-snap-instead-of-laughing but HERE WE ARE
oh he's a BITCH I love him
"I am WILDLY UNCOMFORTABLE but I like the attention"
ashley's dice confirm what I've been saying for a year
"going off the rails" "we didn't start on the rails, you're good"
matt SAID he was gonna be the chaos center of the group
psychonauts gman. "I am a gardener. I am gardening."
"none of you look rich" opal: you take that the FUCK back
opal is extremely committed to her aesthetic and I love her for that
posca quick hide in a trash can until they go away
couldn't she just. step over him.
"do you want to do crimes with me?"
"maybe a really cool hat" matt really is travis' avatar in this game
dariax is the meat man
"do you have TWO daggers?"
"highfalutin" marisha's influence rears its head
"she's right about everything she said about this city" liam
me: these new designs look familTHEY GOT THE DC GUY
"bitch have you seen the ocean??"
she's from byroden?!
imagine not having watched c1 and not having extreme emotional reactions to "air ashari" or "byroden"
can't relate, am in distress
"I'm not becoming a criminal, I am babysitting"
common and elvish!! half-elf??
oh no
"some things are just for the audience" thank u aabria
don't give him that kind of responsibility
red cape? kingsley's person???
opal joins the thieves' guild
this is gonna ruin the word "food" for me the way c2 ruined "up", isn't it
("nein" and "nine" were already ruined by the sasha nein livejournal years and years ago)
why did I think it was a good idea to eat frozen lemonade while I watch this, I just started laughing and my WHOLE jaw siezed up
wait I missed a bit, BLIGHTSTAR?? that's so fucking cool
BOAT DOOR
steal the ship, STEAL THE SHIP
"travis, that one's for you"
"the bottom goers"
hmmmm, oh no
oh boy I hate THAT
OH BOY I HATE THAT
I should not have done the leviathan dlc today, I am On Edge
liam and his boots
LIAM forgot about LUCK
liam: nine
aabria: wrong campaign
oh it's salesa's ship
aabria's face at "put it on"
matt has such a good poker face and thus far aabria has NONE in the best possible way
"the nicest thing that's been wiped on you all day"
POTACK
lmao liam
me: hm I wonder if I can check the tal'dorei campaign setting about this item
tal'dorei campaign setting: is propping up my monitor
(I finally retrieved it, I'll suffer until I find something else)
time is a sandwich
chimchar vs scolipede
mala: Aabria: you guys could be intelligent
The Players: absolutely not, get out of here with that shit
"I have disadvantage on stealth" not fearne, just ashley
aabria's face every time one of them tries to hold it brings me so much life
AABRIA IT IS ONE AM
I'm never safe
MINIS MINIS MINIS
I love all the more or less neutral/muted color minis and then PINK
ICE KNIFE
"alright, moses"
Evil Circlet Bjorn
he's blocking her whole calf
THREE
catch me getting dagger resin molds just to make opal's pearlescent daggers
nutshot hdywtdt
aww matt finally got a hdywtdt that he didn't have to give himself
(that sounds more pathetic than I meant for it to lmao)
the HISSERS
"matcha mochi" child calls me mochi bc she doesn't pronounce words
good all the time yet
"I am nimble like a dancer"
"I attack the knob"
"I need you to pick another number"
I just think it's really unfair of aabria to put a level two party up against such a high-level enemy like a door
"we did it, we tired her out!"
Scary Purse
oh sh
lmao liam memed on himself
knowing who She and Her Friends are makes those little bits of conversations really satisfying
oh shit she said she loves a stinger
oh SHIT
#critical role#exandria unlimited#spoilers#liveblog#crititag#exutag#oh I gotta make that a tag bundle that's way too much to type
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