Comfort Zone
Matt Sturniolo x Reader
masterlist (series)
Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?
WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)
A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!
Comment to be added to the taglist!!
CHAPTER 5: Genie In A Bottle
Walking into school felt like being naked on a stage. Matt and I walked to our class with whispers clouding around us like smoke in a fire, suffocating me. I attempted to keep my composure, but overhearing everything made my feet stutter on the ground at an uneven pace.
“--she must give really good head or something.”
“Do you think she lost her virginity to him?”
“She’s not even that pretty. I mean, look at her!”
Every word was a devastation. I liked being looked over, no one analyzing my every move as if they knew me. Because, they didn’t. Now, that didn’t matter. Everyone was already forming their own perception of me–ones far from the truth.
“Don’t listen to them, okay?” Matt says. I nod my head silently as we step through the threshold of the classroom.
I plop down in the plastic chair. I brush my hair down as the static pulls it up to the back of the seat. Looking back towards the front of the classroom, I’m taken aback by the sight in front of me.
The classroom is still semi-empty, but every seated student is turned around and looking at me. Every single person turns back around quickly once I make eye contact. Except one.
The guy in front of me, someone on the football team of the school from my vague knowledge. “Hey, I’m Brandon. Heard you knocked up my boy Chris, hm?” He says. I feel my heart plummet in my chest. I’m speechless, not a single word forming in my mind.
“Brandon,” I hear Matt’s voice spit from beside me. “--turn around and shut the fuck up.” He threatens. I sit frozen in place, my body unwilling to even take a breath of air. The tightness in my chest is impossibly constricting.
Brandon scoffs, rolling his eyes at Matt before directing his gaze back to me. “Whatever, man.” He grumbles. “Didn’t even know you could talk, to be honest. Does Chris share with you? Does she give good-”
“Don’t talk to him like that.” I grit out from my clenched teeth. Who would want to talk to this idiot anyway? My blood boils as my knuckles crack from clenching my fists.
“Knew Jeffery called you a bitch for a reason.” He mumbles, turning back around in his seat. I sigh roughly, pulling my elbows up on the table and burrying my head in my hands. My hair creates a shield around me as I focus on the table in front of me. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. A sudden gleam of light catches my attention. I look down, seeing Matt’s hand sliding under my gaze, his phone lighting up in front of me. The glowing screen is opened on the Pokemon-Go game.
I bring my head up, looking over at him as he gives me a small smile. He looks down at the phone and back up at me. I let my eyes wander back to the screen, tapping on the animated creature.
_
Before I knew it, the bell signaling the end of the first block had rung. I snap out of my trance, looking over at Matt with his phone in hand. When my eyes shift, I see him already staring directly at me. His head is leaned against his propped-up arm, his whole body shifted inwards towards mine.
I watch as his cheeks shift to a pink hue, his eyes averting to his backpack on the desk. He pulls out a small pack of gum from his front pocket of his bag, holding out a piece for me. I hesitantly take the piece of gum, unwrapping it and placing the minty wad in my mouth.
He stands up, putting his hand flat out. I grab his phone, setting it in his hand as he laughs. I look around in confusion. What’s funny? The classroom is pretty much empty besides Mrs. Evans sitting and organizing papers on her desk.
“Your hand.” He says. I watch as he slides his phone in his sweatshirt pocket, bringing his hand back out. I place my hand in his as he helps me get out from the desk chair.
“Thanks,” I mumble. I drop his hand, noticing another student walking in for the next class. Looking at the time on my own phone, I notice two things. One, we only have a couple more minutes of passing period. Two, a text notification from my dad that skyrockets my anxiety.
“You get going, I’ll meet you in class–I’m just gonna head to the bathroom real quick.” I state. He nods his head as we walk down the hallway. Walking up to the restrooms, I see him lean up against the brick wall, pulling out his phone. “You can go to class, I’ll just meet you there.” I suggest.
He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll wait.” He says. I huff, nodding my head and walking into the bathroom.
As soon as I walk into a stall, I open my messages.
[From Dad: Don’t come home until you learn not to touch my shit. I’m fucking trying, you’re making it worse.]
I’m not even just not enough–I make things worse. My eyes become blurry with tears. I stare up at the ceiling, trying to blink the wetness back, failing miserably. The warm liquid darts down my cheek, leaking un-comfortingly into my ear.
Have I ever even been home? I wish she was here–maybe if she was here then things would be different. Maybe, he wouldn’t always be so bitter. Maybe, he would hug me. Maybe, my heart wouldn’t feel so broken through every single repetitive behavior.
Why does it still hurt so much?
I choke back a sob at the sound of the door to the bathroom creaking open. My eyes shut tight as I let out a sigh of pure exhaustion. It’s not even noon.
“Y/n?” I freeze hearing Matt’s voice. I hear his footsteps pattern against the tile flooring. I watch as his sneakers peek out from underneath the stall door. “--are you okay?” He asks.
I bite down on my cheek, hard. “Um, yeah-yeah, I’m…I’m okay.” I wince at my poor attempt to conceal the weakness in my voice as it cracks. I’m not weak, please don’t think I’m weak.
“You’re not a very good liar.” He breathes out. I let out a dry laugh, clearing my cheeks from the wet tears.
“I know.” I state. I hear him let out a heavy sigh.
“Let’s just take you home, okay?” He voices. I let my hand fly up to my mouth, but I’m not faster than the cry that leaves my lips. Home. What home? “--hey, hey, hey, we can go back and take Trevor on a walk–or anything you want, okay? Can you come out?” His voice is soft, breathier than normal as if talking with his regular voice would make me break.
I’m not weak. Am I? I shakily reach out, sliding the metal lock and pulling the door open. I keep my eyes trained to the floor with pure shame. I see his hand reach out, grabbing my own as he pulls me out of the stall.
I follow his lead out of the bathroom, seeing the empty halls barren of any students. Did the bell already ring?
_
The car ride back to his house was settled in a comfortable silence. I stared down at the text message on my phone, waiting for the words to not feel as if I was having a knife twisted in my back. But, each time I read over the words–it hurt just as much as the first time, if not worse.
I see Matt reach over me from the passenger door propped open. When did he even park? He unbuckles my seatbelt, grabbing my backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. I shut off my phone, clenching it in my hand as I step out of the car. I hear the thud behind me as he closes the door. “Come on, Trevor definitely misses you.” He says.
I squint my eyes at the bright surroundings. The thin layer of snow coating the ground reflects the sunny sky, making everything impossibly bright. Matt holds up his elbow as I let my hand twist around his arm.
He jiggles his keys in the lock of the front door, scratches from the other side being heard. The door swings open, revealing Trevor, wagging his tail from side to side like a helicopter. “Hi, Trev!” Matt says in the baby-voice. I feel the smile creep onto my face, not being able to contain the joy from the sight before me.
We both slide off our shoes, leaving them by the door. Matt walks forward with me still attached to his arm. I hear the light paws tapping behind us as we make our way into his room. His blinds are closed, a soft halo of light streaming in through the cracks. I breathe in the air, relaxing at the familiar scent.
My chest starts to feel lighter. I set down my phone on his desk, running my hands through my hair. Matt plops down our bags, leaning them against his wall as he stands back up, placing his hands on his hips. “So,” he looks around. “--what can I do to make you feel better?” He asks, rubbing his hands together.
His eyes meet mine as I suck in my bottom lips. “Honestly?” I start, meeting his soft gaze. “--distract me. Please.”
“Say less, I got you.” He says with a gentle smile.
_
The car ride had pursued with soft music playing in the back. I could hear him hum, strumming his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. We had been in the car for quite some time, but stopped as we pulled up outside of a large building.
I turn to face him as he pulls the keys out of the ignition. “What is this?” He scoffs, laughing dryly under his breath. “Out of my comfort zone, that’s for sure.” He mumbles. The building looks like some sort of fancy apartment complex, shooting up endlessly to the sky with large windows covering it almost entirely.
I hear Matt’s door shut, watching as he jogs around to my side of the car. I open the door, seeing him pout. I laugh softly, grabbing his outreached hand. “I’m gonna start putting child-lock on.” He says in a completely serious tone. My gut clenches as I lean into him, letting out a chain of giggles as he continues pouting.
“Yeah, okay.” I tease. I feel him squeeze my hand. “Now, what are we doing here exactly?” I ask. He sighs deeply, biting in his bottom lips.
“Well,” he opens the front doors, gesturing for me to walk in. I do so, turning around as he reaches out, grabbing my hand back in his grip tighter than before. “I, um…I’m kinda scared of, um, elevators?” He says, his voice sounding higher.
I nod, looking in front of us to see elevator doors and a bunch of buttons with different numbers to the side. I tug on his hand, but his feet stand in place as he gulps looking directly at the closed elevator doors. I walk back up to him, placing my hand on his chest. “You okay?” I ask.
He doesn’t look down at me, only shaking his head furiously. I bring my hand up, rubbing his shoulder. His eyes shoot down to mine. “Nevermind, let’s–” I cut him off, tugging his hand along with me as I pressed the highest number button, thirty-two.
“How about,” I turned back around, seeing his eyes fall down on me. “--we make a deal?” I voice. I see his eyebrows furrow as he starts rubbing along his jaw with his free hand.
“Deal?” I nod my head, “Yep–anything. Whatever it takes to get you on this elevator, within reason obviously, we’ll make a deal.” I explain. His eyes dart around, his hand now running through his hair that falls perfectly.
An innocent smile grows on his face. “I have three requests.” I push my head further, urging him to continue. He holds up his pointer finger. “One, you have to make sure I don’t have a panic attack on this death-trap.” He says.
I laugh, nodding my head. “Got it, what’s your other two wishes for your genie?” I tease. His nose scrunches up as his head turns to the side in embarrassment.
“Well…” he trails off. “I can’t think right now seeing the floor numbers–oh my god.” He exclaims, his eyes trained on the little screen above the elevator doors that shows the floor number it’s on.
I pat his chest, “Give me the other two later, hm?” He gulps, nodding his head. I hear the ding sound behind me, turning around to see the elevator doors sliding open. The backside of the elevator is completely glass, the other sides being metal.
I step in, hearing Matt’s feet drag on the floor before the elevator sinks in gently from the added weight. His grip on my hand becomes almost painful as the doors close. I squeeze his hand in my own, looking up to see him staring at the ceiling.
“Hey, what’s your favorite color?” I ask. His eyes are shut tightly, his head pointed up to the ceiling. I tug on his hand, drawing his attention.
“Huh?” He asks, letting out a large huff of air.
“Your favorite color?” I repeat. He shakes his head, his eyes darting all around the elevator. I feel him start to wobble on his feet, swaying. I grab his shoulder, letting our hands drop. “Hey,” I grab the back of his neck, forcing him to look down instead of up at the mirror ceiling. “Look at me, Matt.”
His ocean eyes gleam down at me, glossed over with fear. I bring my hands up, cupping his face as his hands clasp around my forearms. “What’s your favorite color?” I repeat. He shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly. “Matt, look at me, come on.” I plead.
His breaths come out more uneven. I feel my heart clench at the sight of his face twisting in discomfort. I reach my hand up, running my nails along his scalp. He lets out a heavy breath, leaning into my touch. He winces at the sound of the elevator beeping from going up another floor. “Do you want to get off, Matt? I can press a button right now, this can all be over.” I voice softly.
His head falls forward, his silky hair covering his eyes. “No,” he whispers, looking back up at me. “--I just need you to distract me, but I can’t think.” He looks around, whipping his head back at me as he accidentally gazes out the glass pane wall. “I…I don’t even know what my favorite color is right now, I can’t think, I can’t think.” He mumbles.
My eyes fall on his lips, my hands falling to rest on his shoulders. “Matt?” His eyes flicker to mine, his face relaxing as I stand up on my tip-toes, leaning closer. I feel his breath fan across my face, his eyes trailing down and back up from my lips to my eyes.
“Please.” He says. I close the distance between us, his hands holding either side of my waist securely. His lips move against mine passionately. He leans down, pushing his lips harder against mine. I stumble back from the sudden change of balance. He pulls my waist closer to his front side. I take a couple steps back, following his lead as I feel my back press against the cold steel wall.
He pulls away from my lips. I take a large gasp of air, my arms looping around his neck to hold myself up. He sucks in a breath, not hesitating before placing his lips back onto mine. A fiery heat swells in my body, tingles fluttering in my chest and stomach as I let his tongue dart into my mouth.
Our lips fit together in perfect sync, dancing like choreography imprinted in our minds. His hands squeeze around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. I hear a loud ring. We separate breathlessly as he rests his forehead against mine. I look up, meeting his eyes that are squinted from a soft smile.
I attempt to catch my breath as the elevator doors start to slowly glide open. I blush, letting my hands fall as a elderly lady walks in the elevator. “Hello.” She greets with a gentle voice. I wave back as Matt tugs my hand.
I walk in tow of Matt, watching as the lady laughs to herself as the doors close. As soon as the doors to the elevator close, I direct my attention to Matt. “Are we taking the stairs now?” I tease. He shakes his head, reaching out behind me.
“Nope,” he says, retracting his hand with a smile. I turn around, seeing a glowing elevator button on the main floor level. I turn back to him, raising my eyebrows with a smile.
“Trying to get me alone again?” I hear the elevator ping from behind us. His hands rest on my waist, back me into the empty elevator. He pressed me against the glass pane as I heard the doors shut.
“Honestly?” He says, moving the hair from my neck and gleaming down at me. “Yeah.” He states, crashing his lips back onto mine.
I tangle my hand in the back of his hair, tugging slightly at the root. He groans against my mouth, the vibration shooting tingles through my entire body. His hands squeeze up and down my waist, landing on my hips. He tugs me by the hips closer to him, making my body slouch on the glass wall.
He looks down at me with a smile. “Best,” he lands a kiss on my cheek. “--distraction,” his lips trail down my neck, leaving a wet kiss. “--ever.” he says. His lips trail up, making me shiver as they brush against my ear. I feel his teeth gently tug on the sensitive lobe, the hairs on my neck standing straight up.
“How do you feel about elevators now, hm?” I tease.
“Fucking love 'em,” he mumbles, trailing his hands up and down my sides.
_
The elevator ride had ended with sore lips and flushed cheeks. We had driven back to the house, settling on his backyard swinging sofa. We sat in the familiar position, my bent knees over his lap as he let his hands massage my calves.
The birds chirped happily as the sun loomed over us. I let the warmth sink into my skin, appreciating the moment. “What’s our other two wishes, hm? Aren’t I your genie?” I recall. I tilt my head down, watching him laugh softly.
“Yeah…” he trails off, scratching at his stubble on his jaw. “Hmm….oh!” He looks over at me with a proud smirk. “My second wish is for you to go on an official date with me.” He requests. I feel the anxiety bubble in my stomach from the excitement of his words.
“M-kay.” I responded. I feel an itch on my forearm, reaching under my sleeve to scratch the area. My fingers rub against the skin, my nails softly grazing my forearm. I feel a bump, the bump from my scar. Dad. “Hey, Matt?” I voice. I hear him hum in response, looking at me as I gulp loudly. “Can I–can I sleep over tonight?” I ask. The nerves rack down my body, my eyes starting to feel watery. I have nowhere else to go.
His lips tug up into a smile. “That was gonna be my third wish, of course.” He says. I feel my cheeks heat up as I look back up at the bright blue sky. My favorite color of blue, pale and soft.
“What is your favorite color?” I ask, repeating the question from earlier.
“Blue.” He says. I look down at him with a smile, “Me too.”
_
We had sun bathed in silence until Nick and Chris came home. When the two boys entered the household, they immediately brought ideas of what to do. We had settled on playing video games, Fortnite in specific. I had watched as Matt pressed the remote in his hand aggressively, cursing at the screen when bullets and explosions sounded.
“You think you’re ready to give it a shot?” He asks. I shrug my shoulders while sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t really understand it–I have no idea what I’m doing.” I say.
He takes his headset off, placing it over my ear and onto my head. He adjusted it, making one ear uncovered. “I’ll help you, come here.” He directs. I stand by the monitor, crouching down as he types on the keyboard.
I turn around, hearing him clear his throat. His hands grip me from behind on my hips. “Is this okay?” He asks, looking down at his lap. I blush, nodding softly. I feel him tug me onto his lap, his arms enveloping around my own. “Comfortable?” He asks, his breath fanning on the side of my head.
My insides feel as if they are burning with excitement as I hum in response. He laughs gently, caressing my cheek. “You’re so cute.” he compliments. I feel my eyes widen as I scrunch my nose.
“Shut up.” I whine. He dryly laughs at this, mumbling under his breath.
“Okay, so,” he brings his hands over mine, making my fingers twitch on the controller. The character starts moving as I hear Chris and Nick through the headset, cursing and arguing. Matt reaches up, pulling me closer to his chest as he hits the soundboard on the keyboard. “I can hear them, sorry that they’re so loud.” He says.
“Anyhow,” he shifts, guiding my actions as I begin to understand how to move the character.
_
The streams of sunlight had faded peering in from his blinds. I was still situated in his lap, but playing Club Penguin. He could tell when I had started to get stressed out from the overwhelming game, switching it and teaching me the cartoon penguin one.
“I can’t believe you’ve never played this before! I would’ve assumed you have–especially given that your favorite animal is a penguin.” He says. I feel his chest shake with laughter from behind me.
“DINNER!” I hear Chris shout. Matt taps my thigh as I get up from his lap. I feel my head get light, becoming dizzy as I sway on my feet.
“Hey,” he grabs my hips, pulling me against his chest as he stands. “--you okay?” He asks. I nod my head lazily, regaining full vision as my body adjusts.
“Just dizzy.” I remark.
“Here, let’s go eat. I know my mom will be happy that you’re here.” He says. She’ll be happy that I’m here? The statement makes my heart fill with warmth as my lips turn upward.
We make our way out to the kitchen, the aroma of food filling my nostrils. Homemade food. An actual meal.
“Ah! Y/N! I was hoping I’d see you around soon! I made meatballs–the boy's favorite!” Marylou exclaims. I smile at her excitement. She sets down the pan in the middle of the counter, a stack of plates next to it. She wipes her hands off on each other, walking over to me with open arms.
I laugh as she squeezes me in a tight hug. “Mom, don’t hurt her.” Matt says. I let myself fall more relaxed in Marylou's embrace as she loosened her grips slightly.
“I’ll get the baby pictures out.” She threatens. My eyes darted to Matt’s, seeing him wide-eyed. He holds his hands up in defense.
“Nevermind, I’ll shut up.” He says. Marylou pulls me back, even tighter. “Jokes on him–I’m showing you anyway.” she whispers loudly. I hear Matt groan from beside me, burying his face in his hands.
_
Marylou was not kidding. We had eaten dinner, mostly Chris yapping about random things. The meatballs were heavenly–a family recipe that Marylou was happily offering to me. His father still hadn’t come home, caught up in some type of work apparently.
We all made our way over to the living room sofa. Chris and Nick sat on one side of the ‘L’ sofa, while I sat between Marylou and Matt on the other side. She had a scrapbook in her lap, pointing at pictures of the young triplets.
“How did you tell them all apart?” I ask.
“Well,” she points to Chris. “--he has a birthmark on his back. Nick had always been a bit bigger, too.” Nick's lips tug into a straight line.
“What a lovely reminder.” He sarcastically remarks.
Matt leans, placing his elbows on his knees. “Y/n has a birthmark too.” He says. Marylou looks over at me as I pull my hair to the side. “It looks like a smiley face, see!” He explains, his fingertip touching gently on my neck.
“Oh! That’s adorable! Chris’s is just a blob.” She states, completely serious. I look over, seeing Chris throw his hands in the air. I laugh at his offense, Marylou turning over her shoulder to look at him. “--but he has such a cute smile! They all do!” She compliments. Nick softly shuts his eyes, shaking his head from left to right.
“Mom.” They all whine in sync.
“Do you have any baby pictures of yourself?” She asks. I shrug my shoulders. Did I?
“I think I might, hold on, I’ll go check my phone.” I get up from the couch, grabbing my phone off the counter. It’s almost ten, no notifications from my dad. I huff in disappointment, opening my near-empty camera roll. I smile, seeing a picture of me as a toddler.
The picture is sometime before I was ten. It was me, holding my moms hand. My mom was standing outside with me, we had just gotten back from a walk around the block. Her beanie on her head covered her thinning hair. She didn’t even look sick except for her deathly pale skin.
Mrs. Evans had taken the picture. It was back when she used to teach at my elementary school in the next town over. She had sent me the picture out of the blue as soon as I had arrived in Somerville. She had asked to meet up, which I had initially ignored. But, when she told me she had something she wanted to give to me that belonged to my mom, I couldn’t refuse.
It was my baby blanket, the one my mom had hand-knitted while laying in a hospital bed on bed-rest. She had been bored out of her mind. She had kept knitting, undoing the same ball of yarn to preserve material because we didn't have the money to buy more.
I watched her give up, her hands too weak to hold grip on the knitting-needle.
“Actually,” I sat back down, Matt’s arm wrapping around me. “--this is the only one I have.” They both lean, looking at the picture displayed on my phone screen.
“Oh…?” Marylou voices. Her tone grabs my attention, but Chris is quick to interrupt my thoughts.
“You only have one picture on your phone? How!” Chris exclaims. I feel my body go rigid. It’s the only picture I have at all. Matt’s arm that rests behind me curls, his hand rubbing on my shoulder. I let myself sink into his hold, letting out a soft sigh.
“You were just the cutest, huh?” Marylou says. I hum, not trusting my voice. I feel the cushion move from beneath me, watching as Matt stands up. He holds out a hand.
“Yeah, now, if you’ll excuse us–I don’t need her seeing us naked in a bathtub together. Goodnight everyone.” He says. Marylou laughs, giving me a wave with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Goodnight.” They all chime.
Matt pulls me up, holding my hand by his side. His feet slap on the ground softly as I follow his lead. He closes his bedroom door behind us. “Are you okay?” He asks. I nod my head, still unsure of my own voice.
“Come on, wanna borrow some clothes?” He asks. I look down at my body, looking back up at him as a smile clouds his face. “--well, more.” He laughs.
I shake my head, letting out a dry giggle. “I’m stealing your whole closet at this point.” I reason. He shrugs, rummaging through the clothes before yanking out numerous pieces of clothing.
“You look good in my clothes.” He points out. I feel my ears heat up as I let my eyes fall to my lap. “Here, a clean sweatshirt. I might ask if Nick has any bottoms for you–Madi sleeps over a lot, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” He walks out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts and the sweatshirt.
I greedily bring my hands down to the material, appreciating the soft material. It’s green, having stars embroidered on it. I look at the logo, seeing a price marked on it.
$325
My eyes bulge out, dropping the sweatshirt on the bed as if it was poison ivy. I hear the wooden floors creek, footsteps seeming closer and closer.
Matt walks through the door, tilting his head in confusion. He lets out a nervous laugh. “You good there?” I stand frozen, my mouth running dry. I shake my head. Matt walks over, setting a pair of PJ pants down on the bed. I feel the weight of the bed dip to my side, his arm curling around me. “What’s up–talk to me.” He urges.
I bury my face in my hands, embarrassed beyond belief. “Can I just have a different sweatshirt?” I ask. He nods, walking over and flipping through hangers.
“Do you not like that one? It’s one of my favorites.” He says, peeping over his shoulder to look at me.
I shake my head furiously. “No,” I let my eyes falter to the green sweatshirt. I look over the fabric, scared I may have even left a fingerprint. “--it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just…” I look back up at him to see him now facing me completely, a confused expression painted on his face.
“It’s just…” He repeats. He walks closer. I watch as his feet plant right in front of my own. I let my eyes wander up to his, seeing him standing in front of me. His face holds a quick sympathetic smile.
I let out a sigh, running my clammy hands over my thighs. “It’s just, I don’t even think I’ve ever held something worth three hundred dollars. Let alone–wear it.” And the fact that it’s his favorite weighed heavily on my subconscious.
HIs hand pets down the side of my head, lifting me up by the chin. My eyes meet his, a soft smile apparent on his lips. “I want you to wear it.” I open my mouth to reason with him. He stops me by giving me a warning look. “--wear it for me, okay? I trust you. Plus, it’s just a hoodie.” He says.
Yeah, a hoodie worth more than anything I own.
I feel his warm hand caress my jaw. His thumb reaches up, dragging my bottom lip down as he stares into me with an unreadable gaze. His thumb glides down, my lip revolting back to its usual position. I nod my head, hypnotized by his pale eyes.
He reaches over, setting something in my lap. “I’ll be back, I’m gonna go talk to my mom real quick. Do you need anything?” I shake my head. “--alright, I’ll be back in a couple minutes. Don’t miss me too much.” He remarks.
I roll my eyes, making him laugh. He walks out the door, shutting it softly behind him. I look down, grasping the green hoodie carefully in my hands. I strip from his clothes I had been wearing, leaving myself in just my underwear.
My eyes wander up, catching my own figure changing in his mirror leaned against the wall. I stand still, analyzing myself. Although I didn’t get to eat very much–I wasn’t very thin. It was as if my body learned to preserve any fat possible. I was grateful for it, it made everything not so obvious.
I looked like a regular person. My hands wander over my semi-dry skin. I hadn’t even remembered the last time I was able to just go out and buy lotion. My skin has always been sensitive, especially in the dry winter. Everytime my nails scratched over my skin, a red mark identical to the path scratched appeared almost instantaneously.
I pull the soft, heavy hoodie over my head. It drowns my entire arm, covering my hands. The waist of it falls slightly above mid-thigh. I pull the pants on, fitting them nearly perfect to my body. When’s the last time I had clothes that fit?
All my clothes were baggy. Partly because of how worn down they had become over the years. Also because it was a lot of my dads old clothes. I refused to steal–my anxiety simply wouldn’t allow it. However, I would often wander to the lost-and-found at my previous school, picking up an item if I needed it and it sat longer than a week with no owner claiming it.
I fold the clothes I had previously been wearing, setting them neatly on the nightstand. While setting them down, I hear a clank. Fuck, his cologne.
Immense panic devastates my entire body. I whip my head, seeing the cologne bottle on the floor, seemingly in one piece. A knock sounds at the door, “Are ya decent?” Matt says, heavy with his boston-accent.
My heart feels like it’s pulsing out of my chest. I reach over, seeing no cracks in the glass and sighing with relief. I place the bottle back in its original spot. “Yeah.” I answer.
The door props open, Matt walking in and shutting it behind him. “Are you okay? I heard something–did you fall?” He asks. He walks over to his bathroom as I watch him from the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, I’m all good. I accidentally knocked over your cologne–but it’s okay! It didn’t break! I am sorry for being so klutzy though.” I voice. He turns around, holding out a toothbrush to me with toothpaste on it. I take it, scrubbing my teeth as he does the same.
He stops for a minute. “You’re fine, I like that you’re so clumsy.” He winks, continuing to brush his teeth. I blush, spitting in the sink and holding the toothbrush cluelessly. He rines his brush, placing it in the cup next to the faucet. Taking the brush from my hand, he does the same thing.
I smile looking at his blue toothbrush next to my green one. I look over, seeing him smiling at me. A blush crawls onto my face as I quickly turn back to his bed. I plop down on his comforter, getting under the soft duvet. I pause, “Oh wait, what side do you sleep on?” I ask.
He’s already laying down on the other side of the bed, placing a folded arm behind his head. His eyes are shut, but he slightly opens one. “I don’t care which side unless you do.” He says. I shake my head with a nervous smile, snuggling into the sheets further.
I turn on my side, my back facing him as I curl into the pillow with my arms. The warmth curiates around me. “Actually,” I hear him shuffle, my body falling back as the mattress leans from weight. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me to his chest. “--I want whatever side you're on–if that’s okay with you.”
I nod my head. I feel him nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck. Shivers run from the bottom of my feet to the top of my spine. I let his body heat warm me up further, appreciating every ounce of warmth that my body desperately craved.
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