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#what are they catfish idk i don't know fish
simpingcowboy · 3 months
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Pedro boys and why I'm swiping left on their tinders
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This is all to be silly!! I love them all very much <3
Frankie Morales
His name there says Frankie (Catfish)....with his main profile picture being him holding you guessed it...a catfish. He doesn't have many other photos on there, with the exception of a few older military photos that are so blurry you can hardly tell which one he's meant to be.
The rest of his page is pretty empty aside from the music section, where you actually get the first real glimpse at what this man is about. While his music selection is very respectable, it does not overshadow the glaring issues with his profile.
In short, Frankie's profile makes you think "Am I dating the man? The fish? Or a catfish?" Swiping left fs.
Marcus Moreno
This one isn't his fault! His profile is perfect. No really. All the women at The Heroics made sure to help him with it! His photos are cute and show off all his best assets. The bio is a little cheesy in an endearing "yeah he's definitely a dad" way. The problem then? It's Marcus fucking Moreno!!! Leader of the Heroics!!!!!! On Tinder???? There's no way anyone is going to believe it's really him. I believe there's a verification option on Tinder now, but really...even then Idk. Unless he fully comes out on an interview or something to super casually mention he's on Tinder, it just ain't working. No one likes a catfish! (Sorry Frankie!)
Jack Daniels
Mr. "Tinder What?" himself!!!! Let's say he manages to figure out how to set up a profile and all that. It's gonna be inTERESTING to say the least. His photos are actually pretty solid. An intriguing mix of photos of him on the ranch and photos of him in the Statesmen HQ looking very well put together. Opening line is definitely "Save a Horse! Ride a Cowboy! 🤠♥️" Very on brand for him. Followed by something very pro-american about the flag or serving his country and honestly... that's where I'm gone 😅. We get to see a bit of Jack's political mind in Kingsman and let's just say i don't wanna know the rest of it.
I'm grateful this is Tinder and not Bumble. Because if Jack used the audio prompt and I heard that smooth Kentucky accent...forget EVERYTHING I just said. I would be taking a chance on him. Sorry 😔 I can't fix him, but I will have fun trying!!
Joel Miller
For namesake, we're gonna set this pre-outbreak. There's no time for swiping in the apocalypse. Profile isn't bad just very empty. He's not really trying and it's kinda obvious. His bio reads something along the lines of "Single dad of a spoiled teen" with mostly photos of himself and Sarah on his profile. A few photos of him and Tommy out camping or on a work site.
And as handsome as he is, the profile feels like something his kid forced him to make as a way of getting him off her back. I wanna sympathize and help her out, but I don't know I have the heart to attempt to win over this very clearly emotionally unavailable DILF. So for that reason, I'm swiping left.
Pero Tovar
If for some ungodly reason Pero was given Internet access and had a dating profile... it'd be a disaster. His bio reads something along the lines of "I don't open this app. If you wish to see me meet me at this pub" with approximate days and times he's there.
The first picture on his profile is a way too far away blurry shot of him training. If I was feeling brave enough to continue scrolling through his photos...the rest would certainly be borderline explicit highly suggestive photos of his torso and groin. And whilst I might think about it for approximately .25 seconds any remaining sense of dignity would kick in before I actually did anything about it. It'll sting momentarily, but I will be swiping left.
Ezra
Another man on this list who should absolutely NOT be given internet access. His photos are beautiful but uninformative...the only shots of him are blurred and artistically obscure. He pads the rest of his profile with photos of books he's reading and grainy shoots of the forest.
The bio...if there's a word limit best believe that Ezra has hit it. He used every given character at his disposal and managed to say very little with all of it. Something about a wandering spirit longing for companionship and a couple sexual innuendos for good measure.
While visually and verbally not the worst profile on this list, his pretension is so utterly palpable through the screen I actually don't think I'd be able to make it through the end of his bio without cringing...also his music selection is all just banjo instrumental???
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sharksa-shivers · 7 months
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Kristy, you are asking a shark this question, idk what you expected lol...
Kristy:(trying to help Sharky with his instincts)Ok so fish are-? ……Cmon, fill in the blank…Fish are…What?
Sharky:(amused, hungry and obviously fucking around)Great in a taco with cheese and sour cream.
Kristy:(annoyed)No! Cmon! Fish are-?!?!
Sharky:(hungry still, amused)Best in a sushi roll with soy sauce on the side.
Kristy:(trying to still work with him)Fish are???? Cmon, what are fish????
Sharky:(still hungry, smiling at the thought)Really damn good deep fried with some fries, hushpuppies and a coke…
Kristy:(staring annoyed)……No. Fish are friends. They are cute little friends. That was the answer…
Sharky:(thinks a moment, shrugs, amused)I like my answers better heheheh, speaking of, wowwwww i'm hungry, i really could go for some calamari or some catfish or some shrimp, ohhhhh, crab would be good too, ahhhhh-
Kristy:(facepalms annoyed, sitting down as Sharky keeps going off, glares annoyed over at him)……One more time, you know the answer now so just…say it, fish are-?
Sharky:(smirks)……….Really damn delicious grilled and then put in a sandwich…
Kristy:(just staring annoyed)….I give up…
Sharky:(hungry but still wanting to fuck around)Can we actually fucking get some food now are are you gonna keep dragging this out? ------------------ Alt version lol ---------
Kristy:(she tries to ask one more time)…Fish are…?
Sharky:(in that predatory mindset, hungry with a smirk)…Fresh prey…That you chase down…And kill, you feel them struggle as you eat em, loving the blood and every moment of it…
Kristy:(disturbed)………I regret asking…
Sharky:(just gazes at her, shrugs)You're literally asking me, a shark, what i think about my prey, like that's what you're doing and then your surprised by my answers…
Kristy:(upset)I don't WANT you to look at fish like prey…
Sharky:(still gazing, kinda awkward)……I don't know what i'm supposed to tell you other then "it's hardwired into my literal brain and dna" but uhhhhhh…I'm…Sorry, i guess…That…Fish are tasty as hell?
Kristy:(she just looks over)I…I dunno, maybe i'm the one being an asshole here but…i really…just…don't know…
Sharky:(thinks for a second, trying to fix it)…Yknow what, how bout this, cuz uhhhh, this is awkward for both of us now…I'm really fucking hungry-
Kristy:(interrupts, snarky)Wow, really? Never would've guessed…
Sharky:(amused but continues)I WAS SAYING…I'm starving and you're like…In a bad mood now, maybeeeeeee we go get burgers instead? I just…(faltering some)God, i really needa eat, i legit can feel my stomach rumbling heh…And burgers sound just as good as fish to me…
Kristy:(she sees Sharky's really trying and thus she sighs, caving and faltering herself, a bit nicer toned)…Yknow, that does sound good…You buying?
Sharky:(nods, laughing)If you want me to, yeah, just…Let's go already, ahhhhhh… ---------------- Lol, at least he's honest lmao... But ye, Sharky loves himself some fish...(no shit lol) Kristy gets more used to Sharky being like that as the series goes on but it bothers her alot cuz Kristy defs thinks fish are friends........Sharky just thinks they're tasty lol XD
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hellishboots · 10 months
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hey hey, how u doinnnn!!! I have 'em quick questions about the water dogs.
What's the difference between saltwater and freshwater eels? Do they have different characteristics, and where do they live?
What the FUCK is the Megdalon (<- is this the correct spelling???), you know, the big shark that roamed the waters a bajillion years ago. WHAT ARE THEY??? DO THEY HAVE GRANDSHARKS OR RELATIVES, IS THE BLOODLINE STILL GOING???
What do they mean by 'snake skin', and why do snakes peel them?
Are birds REALLY relatives of dinos? And which species of birds are the closest?
These little thoughts rattle in my brain like the DVD logo bouncing on TV, and you don't have to answer all of 'em, I just need answers! Anyways, thank u for readin!
honestlyy idkk y u asked me, the village idiot, 2 answer these questionz but oh boy i do love animalz so i will try my best! :3
1. i do not know much abt eelz, but i doo know abt electric eelz, here r some random electric eel fun factz! (these r just some of my favez, i loev electric eelz bc i have an electric eel oc;;; if any1 iz interested in any more info;;; id b happy 2 share)
they arent actually rlly related 2 true eelz, instead, theyre a speciez of knife fish thatz more closely related 2 catfish!
they breath air bc they live in murky water and if they had gillz, they wudnt b able 2 get enough oxygen.
they can jump out of water 2 shock their prey and their shock can get up 2 abt 650 voltz. :0 (the standard american outlet iz abt 110 voltz)
they use electrolocation bc they r basically blind. how doez that work? well basically, think echolocation but w electricity. they can identify other electric eelz, prey, objectz, and more w electrolocation! v cool! who needz sight when ur a living battery fishie?
2. idrk much abt the megalodon, but i do know that there r some ppl that think theyre still alive? wich, no. if u see a bigass shark, itz prolly either a basking shark or u just havent seen many sharkz b4. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3. snake skin iz just. snakez skin (idk if thatz what u were asking but yee). itz made up of keratin (same stuff that our nailz n hair iz made up of) and they shed it bc it doez not grow az the snakez grow.
4. i have no idea honestly, evolution iz...idk anything abt it.
thank u 4 the questionz! i loev talking abt animalz and sharing fun factz n stuff! if any1 wantz 2 ask me anything abt animalz, i highly encourage it. it doeznt even have 2 b a question u can just share fun factz or whatever, anything 2 fuel my special interest (i also liek plantz, especially flowerz) :3
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ziezie13 · 1 year
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Thanks for the tag @everythingbutcoldfire, I actually finished this one instead of getting halfway through and then leaving it in my drafts
Relationship status: happily single
Favourite colour: emerald green
Favourite food: mashed potatoes (when I was a kid the only thing I had planned for my wedding was that there would be mountains of mashed potatoes) Also a really excellent fish especially catfish, tuna, or salmon. I also grew up in a place with excellent trout, reddish, drum, and shrimp so those are all very nostalgic for me.
Song stuck in your head: nothing currently stuck in there but there are two that I have been playing in repeat which is unusual for me. Both are remixes, I'm Good (Blue)/Bebe Rexha, David Guetta and Shrekinem (Vavo mashup). Both of them just tickle my brain in a very pleasant way.
Last thing you googled: "team rocket", I dressed up as James for Halloween and wanted to see some poses
Favourite time of day: afternoon/evening aka the time when all the work is done for the day and I can veg out
Dream trip: I really really want to rent a boat and sail around the Mediterranean for a couple of weeks stopping at random islands
Last book/fic you read: Currently listening to the CU Hockey audio book series by Eden Finley and Saxon James. Each book is a smutty romance between two queer hockey players. I started crying when I got to the one with a demisexual lead because I wasn't expecting that.
Last book/movie you enjoyed: I will answer both. Last movie is RRR, I had heard it was great and a wild rise so I watched it blind and I loved it so much. The violence in the beginning made me very uncomfortable but I kept watching and did not regret it. I will not spoil it but this is the kind of movie where the protagonist punches tigers and also has time for a dance break in the middle. Just watch it. Last book is The Lies of Locke Lamora, I feel in love with the fantasy world based on Venice. Also Locke is somehow both a bit of a mary sue (i love a mary sue sometimes what can i say) but also things kept getting worse and worse for him that I didn't know how he was possibly going to make it out.
Last book/movie you hated: it is not so much that I hated these but I have complicated feelings and lots of opinions/things to say. Thor Love and Thunder felt like Taika didn't really know what story to tell so he just had a bunch of fun with his friends on set instead. Peter Darling frustrated me so much I wrote a whole essay about it. I loved so much about it and the things it set up were so compelling but it never followed through on any of those ideas. There were narrative conflicts that were completly ignored and the ones that did get resolved had zero build up. I finished this book feeling so unsatisfied it was painful.
Favourite thing to cook/bake: probably baked catfish or chocolate pie, also @beedragony taught me how to make esfiha and I have been making it a lot lately
Favourite craft to do in your free time: writing and bookbinding :)
Most niche dislikes: soft, fluffy pillows? Idk I like a firm squishy one
Opinion on circuses: oh my mom hated the circus, zoos too, because of the exotic animals being in captivity. My dad would take us by himself and she would stay at home. My feelings aren't as strong as hers but I don't particularly like the traditional circus either. I do love cirque du soleil though, I just find it to be amazing story telling!
Do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you’ve gotten lost?: I do have a good sense of direction and one of the first things I do when I get to a new place is figure out which direction is north and some kind of orienting marker like a river or landmark. When we would travel to foreign countries as a kid my mom never trusted my directions but I was always right and now she doesn't even question it. None of that stops me from using my gps everytime I get in the car though which drives my dad crazy for some reason 😆
Tagging: @chubsthehamster and @aryastark-valarmorghulis
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redvanillabee · 2 years
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4 for the weird asks.
I’ve been watching a lot of River Monsters recently and let me tell you, most of those sea monsters are just fucked up fish. You know there’s a little catfish in the Amazon that drills into flesh and eats up your inner organs??
Anyway, your thoughts 🫴
Sorry this took so long! So Q4: mythical creature you think/believe is real?
I sat on this question for ages because this honestly requires a level of knowledge of mythical creatures that I do not have. There are some common ones I can name, but I don't necessarily believe that they are 'real'.
I think I am far more inclined to believe that there are...intangible Ways of nature, forces you might call them, unspoken rules that humans should really not break. Things that are kind of beyond what our knowledge system can explain, but are there in nature. Does this make sense? Idk lol
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dreadpegasus · 2 years
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I'm from the South, so here's some of my favorite southern (or jus American things lowkey) things I think Jason would enjoy showing Salim;
It also gets more unhinged as it goes on
- The music, Especially the weirder, older songs. I can imagine Salim showing Jason some meaningful Arabic songs and Jason's just like 'She Thinks My Tractors Sexy' 🕺
- SWEET TEA, Ive been made painfully aware of the huge difference in sweet tea from the south and sweet tea from the west. Jason gets Salim to try some of his tea and Salim is just like ,?!:?2?????? How are you alive
- Fishing, Specifically noodling, Jason asks Salim if he wants to go fishing and he's like 'okay sure, but don't we need fishing rods?' And Jason's just like 'where we're going we don't need rods' and later is arm wrestling the catfish while Salim just watches from the bank amusedly
- State fairs, Very simple and domestic. Just the two going through, giggling at the ridiculously large pumpkins and squash, feeding animals at the petting zoo, maybe riding some rides. And can't forget the fried shit, ie deep fried butter, deep fried Oreos, among other deep fried shit
- The bipolar weather (+ 'I can smell the rain'), Salim and Jason sitting outside on porch on a clear sunny day just chatting away, and suddenly Jason's like 'its gonna rain' and Salims like '?? There's no clouds' and Jason just responds with 'I can smell it' with no further explanation and next thing you know, 10 minutes later it's a downpour ('Its rainin' cats and dogs out there.' 'No, Jason, it's raining water.')
- Weird terms, Salim boobin out over a broken thing that can easily be fixed and Jason's just like 'it don't amount to a hill of beans' as he goes to fix it and Salim is just like '???? What'
- Lightning bugs, I cannot even begin to explain the joy it brings me of the thought of Salim just seeing random flashing dots at night and Jason explains that there's literally just bugs that light up and catching one to show him <333 (idk the whereabouts of lightning bugs so let's just say Salims never seen them :o )
- Bonfires, Salim and Jason just outside on a warm summer's night, sitting in front of a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and just conversing about whatever comes up <3
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atheoryofmind · 3 years
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Flying down to the giant petri dish that is Florida next Wed... not thrilled with the timing, or the fact the delta variant is running rampant down there (Indiana could be doing quite a lot more to combat covid tbh but it's doing a fair amount better than Florida). But we don't know how much longer my grandma is going to remember who I am so we figure it's best to visit before the end of the year.
We're staying at my aunt's house who is, frankly, VERY well off. I was hoping to play with her new golden retriever pup (looks to be 8-9 months old, very sweet, very smart), but they'll be out of town the week my dad and I will be there and will take the dog with them :( So no pets at all for a few days, it will be a weird kind of lonely I always feel in homes without animals....
But at least we'll be going to an aquarium for a day. I'll take my sketchbook and see if I can get anything. I may end up just taking pictures with my phone instead- and then use those to draw from later. We will see. I will also take the opportunity to try some real seafood, bc what we can get in a landlocked state won't compare. I don't expect to change my mind on fish, but maybe shrimp or crab will be different idk. My dad will probably get fried catfish at some point, which always smells like a swamp and I can't imagine why you'd want to eat that but maybe I'll try a bite if he gets it. (For those who don't know, every time I've tried to eat fish I gag involuntarily. Popcorn shrimp made with minced shrimp and dipped in ketchup has been tolerable (not great but I don't hate it) and fake crab has also been tolerable in small amounts (Chinese buffet places make this crab casserole using the fake crab and load it with butter, mayo, cheese, scallions, and idk what else but that is actually pretty good and I'll get 2 helpings of that if I'm feeling it that day but so far that's the only kind of mild fish I've been able to eat consistently)... I just... can't... :(
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pinkhoodiemark · 7 years
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Hello lovely friend I am here to probe into your personal life I hope you don't mind (: for the emoji asks 🐶🚼🍭🍴🙈
Hello!
🐶 - Do you own a pet? I only have small aquatic friendsI have a betta fish name Pichitto-kun (or Peaches is what i tell my American, non-japanese, speaking friends who cant pronounce Pichitto too well). He’s also a jerk to my other fish.The other fish is from the same species as catfish but he’s tiny. His name is Mr. Miyagi because his whiskers reminded me of the karate kid master idk. Mr. Miyags is pretty cool.I also have a tiny shrimp named “Ebi-chan” (directly translates to shrimp-chan in japanese), but I only see him like 3 times a week because you really gotta search in the tank to find where he is. He’s also pretty cool i guess
🚼 - Do you have or want kids?ehhhh... like i cant even think about that right now because im still barely a student and im not near a career (or a relationship lul) but i think babies are so cute and it’d be cool to always be around them and call them family... but to be a MOM is just.. woah. I’d be a cool aunt
🍭 - Favorite Candy?my current favs are Haribo Gold Bears and Jolly Ranchers.
🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?My fav type is Japanese food. my current fav might be Okonomiyaki or Somen, but you can never go wrong with Ramen
🙈 - What makes you shy? c o m p l i m e n t s. Im so horrible with comments. Like im so grateful and honored to even be complimented, but omg my reaction (especially irl) is just so a w k w a r d. I just get shy and dont know what to say. Like saying “thank you” feels like so ingenuine that im actually so thankful so im just ahkfjhakefhakl
Send me an Emoji!! 
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