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#what a tough life lol
chryblossomjjk · 4 months
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the thought of not seeing them for 18 months hurts my heart fr
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stormblessed95 · 6 months
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So jimin spent his birthday with Yoongi the whole of yesterday and proudly showed us the snacks yoongi prepared for his birthday.. But he couldn't spend it with his supposed "boyfriend" Jk😪..Lmao jimin is putting himself out there showing who he cares about and spend his free time with and it's yoongi not your ship,But yet you jokers are still holding on to fake ship,jimin would spit on you shipping him with a family man like Jk who has a pregnant girlfriend at home. Stop being so embarrassing and give it up. Yoonmin is real and jimin truly loves yoongi not who you are shipping him with. You keep denying yoonmin relationship but guess who keep debunking y'all? Jimin exactly haha Such losers! Anyway happy birthday to jimin
Lol your hostile anon post worked! I'm converting! This is official a yoonmin blog (let's all just pretend that everyone who follows me doesn't already know that yoonmin are my biases so it lowkey can already feel like a yoonmin blog anyway)
Yoonmin is real! Yay! It's so nice that my biases are now also boyfriends. Good for them!
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ghost-bxrd · 1 month
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I absolutely adore your writing and I can’t wait for the next chapter of “What You’re Longing For You Claim To Abhor” to drop 😭😭 your prompts are always amazing I wish there were more fics
Aweee thank you so much 💚💚💚
And I’ll do my best to get the last chapter out on Sunday at the latest ✨ I’ve got a good portion of it written already, but Jason just doesn’t. Want. To go. Home. And at this point even I am screaming at him 😩😭😂
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crescentfool · 4 months
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
#lizzy speaks#hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023#but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me#so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s#it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything#and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are#all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it#for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i#some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol#but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more#it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves#as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like#wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!
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ambreiiigns · 1 year
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btw rick and morty makes me insane bc no one Gets it people who don't wanna watch it (like me! before my brother made me watch it in exchange of him watching sk8 the infinity w me!) are like ugh problematique bad #edgy dark humor adult cartoon for reddit bros 🙄 but then the reddit bros who watch it & became the main representatives for its audience are like haha pickle rick wooo you need high iq I Relate To Rick Sanchez Deeply and he's like the joker to them and he's a king and an icon of alpha males somehow???? but like. neither of those people understand that rick and morty is actually about Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. Everybody's Gonna Die. Come Watch TV?
#like yea the universe is huge and there's so many versions of everything that everything becomes replaceable and therefore worthless#and you can find joy in that or not. you can find a way to be happy despite it all or not#yes the core is nihilism. but then like. why are we ignoring the opposite approaches to nihilism shown by the titular characters#people will talk too much abt rick and not enough abt morty if u ask me but whatever. let's talk abt rick#why will people forget that what makes our rick the ''rickest rick'' (arguable ????) is not that he's the Toughest Smartest Whatever rick#but that he's the most human rick ? like. the fact that he was attached to his humanity and to the worth he found within it is what#kickstarts the entire show. bc he tries quitting science. and when another rick offers him the portal gun so he can live out that#nihilistic reckless life we see he refuses it bc it sounds Lonely???????? which it IS#so then the other rick takes away what matters to our rick. and that's what makes him the Alpha Male Genius that the reddit bros like#not his toughness his brains his big dick or whatever. it was all about loooove baybayyy and revenge i do love revenge#it was his heart that made him into what we see in the show <3 and what we see in the show is a pathetic weak miserable old bastard#but the reddit bros aren't brave enough to accept it#but whatever. next time we will be talking abt how much he loves morty and how he hates it so much bc it makes him weak#(as evil rick points out when they're looking over rick's memories and he tears up when he sees morty. which kills me btw)#(so much so that when rick can take out everything he considers toxic from inside of him he gets rid of his love for morty too)#and yet he loves his little buddy sooooo much it's what fuels him now. kinda. lol#is he still shitty. does he fall back in his own shit a lot. does he keep treating morty like shit. yea#there's no buts. the statements coexist#yes he will drunk call jessica to cry abt missing morty. yes he will dump morty for two crows#and also he's in love w birdperson. next time too#oh nay
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silenthillbunni · 12 days
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🐁☁️🌫️
#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant#nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it#it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer#ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know#it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are#but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom#bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park#i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that#i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none#my sisters havent talked for me in over a year#and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w#nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao#i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots#i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol?????#im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay#and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like#when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!!#im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing?#other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing?????#and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things#i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))
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writing-good-vibes · 6 months
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you know what they say about dead men
ever wondered why corey has daddy issues? look no further. another instalment of the road trip, at last, just in time for the one year ends anniversary !! divider by @/firefly-graphics
WARNINGS for corey cunningham x michael myers relationship, age difference, smut, unsafe kink practices, alcohol consumption, mentions of daddy issues, and mild mentions of unhappy/unstable childhood, implied child abuse and dysfunctional parental relationships.
taglist: @slutforstabbings @ethanhoewke @voxmortuus (if anyone else wants to be tagged in corey related things, just let me know !!)
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Wally Cunningham is dead; mangled in a motorcycle crash in 1999, leaving behind a wife and son. Corey had carried that with him since he was old enough to ask why he didn't have a daddy like the kids at school did.
Joan chose the details carefully, spinning a cautionary tale about how dangerous the world was, how his daddy wasn't smart enough to keep out of trouble, how it's so much better for Corey to stay at home, safe and sound, with her. To stay at home where she can look after him. And Corey believed her, for a while anyway. Why wouldn't he?
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In a dirty dive bar in Florida, Corey is finishing his fourth beer of the night before ordering another one. Michael sits stoically beside him, his gaze focused impossibly on the mirror behind the bar from beneath the trucker hat pulled low over his eyes.
Beneath the sound of shouts and jeers and idle chatter, the AC unit rattles steadily, keeping only some of the balmy heat at bay. Corey sweats, curls sticking at his temples and an itch working it's way down his nape, but he he doesn't take his cord jacket off.
"Hey, Wally," someone shouts. It's not an uncommon name, especially for men of a certain age. There's probably a handful of Walters and Wallaces in this bar alone, right?
Still, Corey glances over his shoulder, taking a long swig from his new beer.
The man who shouted had just arrived, and in the time it took Corey to turn around, he's snaked his way through the throngs of patrons to a table in the corner. He claps an older man heartily on the shoulder as he sits down.
Corey's jaw drops, and he dribbles some of his beer down himself.
The older man -- and he does look old, these days -- is startlingly familiar. Corey would know him anywhere, he's seen him a thousand times over in his dreams. He still has a beard, though it has long since greyed. He's wearing a bandana tied over long, equally grey hair. A motorcycle jacket is slung over the back of his seat. Of course he has a motorcycle jacket.
Corey wipes the beer from his chin and tells himself to stop staring, but he can't help it. Corey doesn't believe in ghosts, besides the ones that live in his head, but there's no other explanation for what he's seeing. No explanation that he's got the guts to take.
Because Wally Cunningham is dead. He was mangled in a motorcycle accident in 1999, leaving behind his wife and son. Corey has carried that with him every day of his life. He dealt with the school yard teasing and pushed the grief of every empty father's day deep down. He managed just fine when he learnt to tie his own tie and how to shave on his own. He managed just fine when Momma married Ronald and they all played happy families for a while until the precarious honeymoon phase passed. Corey has managed just fine.
So why is Wally Cunningham sat in a dive bar in Florida, laughing and joking, like he hasn't been dead for more than 20 fucking years.
For a split second, something like elation passes through Corey. That's his dad. His dad who was an All-American man. Who fought in Vietnam. Who would of taught Corey how to ride a trike, and then a bike, and then maybe even a motorcycle when he got old enough. Who would have played catch with him in the yard and coached him to join the baseball team. Who would have made Momma loosen her grip. "You can't keep your eyes on him every second, Joan. Let the boy live," his dad would have said. His dad who had loved him and it was just a terrible, tragic accident that tore them apart.
But then those familiar, safe daydreams fade, like smoke on the breeze. Like they'd never existed at all. His dad is alive, and he hasn't seen Corey in over 20 fucking years.
Without thinking, Corey gets up, leaving Michael sat on his own at the bar. In his haste, desperate not to lose sight of the old man at the table in the corner, Corey forgets to put his beer down, and his knuckles clench white against the glass.
"Wally Cunningham?" his voice is pitifully hopefully. It feels like a betrayal.
Wally turns away from his friends, a congregation of similarly aged-looking bikers with bandanas and bruised knuckles, and looks up at Corey, scowling. "Who's asking, kid?"
Corey swallows thickly around the growing grief in his throat, "I'm Corey."
Wally raises an eyebrow. For a long, disgusting moment Corey can see that his name doesn't ring a bell. The dots aren't connecting.
Until they do. "Corey? God, haven't you grown." Wally looks him up and down, taking in the sight before him. Corey wasn't vain, especially not now, but he has to resist the urge to shrink under his father's narrowed eyes. His hair is a little shaggy since he hasn't got around to trimming it lately, his thrift-store jeans are forever the wrong size, and his tarnished silver belt buckle glints just barely under the smoke-hazy bar lights.
"Well, it's been 23 years." 23 years of mourning only to find that the coffin was empty all along.
Wally nods in muted agreement. "What are you doing here?"
Wally's reserved reaction feels like the single spark that starts a bonfire, drawing in oxygen while Corey struggles to breath. "I should be asking you that. Momma told me you were dead, she said that you died."
Wally has the guts to chuckle, "She did? That doesn't surprise me, she always was fucking nuts. Well, boy, I'm still kicking"
His friends laugh along, but otherwise stay out of it. When Corey thinks about this conversation later -- and he will be thinking about it later, turning it over and over obsessively until he does something stupid over it -- he'll wonder how many of them knew Wally had a son at all. If he ever mentioned the life he'd left behind in Illinois, or if he wiped the slate clean with each state line he crossed. Just like Corey did nowadays.
Corey shakes his head as he connects his own dots, "You're not dead. You're not -- you've been alive this whole time."
Wally tries to be warm, but it doesn't suit him, "Not the brightest bulb in the box, are we? I guess you must take after me, son."
Corey's deep scowl says otherwise; Wally can see Corey is very much Joan's boy. He always was. "You left us, me and Momma."
"Son, your mother told me to leave, so I did. That marriage was a mistake, it's a good job I left her when I did, or I don't know how it would have ended, but it'd wouldn't have been good, I can tell you that --"
"You left me!" Corey shouts, cringing when his voice breaks. "You didn't just walk out on Momma, you walked out on me, didn't you?" His fingers tighten even more around the beer bottle, just a little tighter and --
Suddenly, Corey feels a presence behind him. He knows it's Michael, knows his outrage must of have stirred him from his thoughts and led him over, eager -- if Michael could ever be described as eager -- to be close by in case Corey makes a scene.
Michael clamps a hand down on his shoulder, pulling him away from Wally by a couple of paces. The friends sat around his table shift uneasily in Michael's hulking, scarred presence, a fact Corey revels in as he leans back into Michael's touch. His fingers loosen on the beer bottle.
There's a tense moment of silence as the reality of this strange situation settles over them all. It reminds him of the tabloid shows Momma used to watch when he was little, the ones she shooed him out of the room for: Long lost son, meet absent father.
Finally, "This a friend of yours?" Wally gestures.
Friend. Corey's lip curls into a smirk, "He's my --"
What exactly is Michael? Boyfriend sounds too juvenile, and lover too tender. Daddy crosses his mind, as a sick little dig, or my old man. He doesn't think any of those would go down too well here, though. Partner is ambiguous, but too formal. Accomplice is fitting, very fitting, but he can't go around saying things like that in public. Cult leader is what it feels like sometimes, but a bit too grandiose for their current predicament.
"Yeah, this is Michael," Corey settles on. The pause he used to gather his thoughts was loud though, and something like doubt crosses Wally's face. But he was never fucking there, so he can go fuck himself if he thinks his opinion matters now. He can think what he likes, for all Corey cares -- and oh god, he cares, he cares so fucking much it makes him sick. Wally's probably right though, in one way or another.
"So, what are you doing in this neck of the woods? You left Illinois?" Wally tries again.
Illinois is so far behind them in the rear view mirror that it scares him sometimes, but Corey is headed West, and he isn't stopping -- for anything or anyone -- until he reaches the very end of the line. "We're just passing through," Corey shrugs.
They talk for a while, but Corey doesn't sit down at Wally's table. He doesn't accept a drink when someone goes for another round. He sneers instead of laughs when Wally's friends try to crack jokes. He stays stood in front of Michael, leaning just slightly against him when Michael takes his hand off his shoulder. Michael doesn't complain, doesn't move, just listens silently to the faux-casual conversation going on in front of him. Waiting.
Against his already-scarce better judgement, Corey does agree to stay in town for a few days and meet Wally again tomorrow. They have a lot of catching up to do.
Corey doesn't believe in ghosts, but still doesn't shake Wally's hand when he offers it, scared of what it might feel like. So, instead he smirks, a crooked gesture, and turns to leave, taking Michael with him.
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The motel room is quiet and dim, the nicotine-stained bedside lamp casting a sickly yellow glow over the pair while the corners of the room stay shrouded in darkness. A safe and secret place to hide away.
Corey talks and talks, half to himself and half to Michael, wanting to purge every little thought in his head until there's nothing left.
"I don't fucking need him, I never needed him! I never needed him. I don't fucking -- oh fuck -- i got by fine, didn't I? That fucking piece of shit, never fucking needed him. I wish he really was dead, dead in the fucking ground. We should -- that's what we should do, I'm gonna -- please -- And who does he think he is? Talking to me like he didn't fucking walk out on me, on his baby. Can you imagine leaving a baby all alone? Leaving me with Momma. And he didn't even care -- he never fucking cared! -- didn't care that she was gonna swallow me whole. And he knew, he fucking knew, how bad M-Momma was and he s-s-still left me. He ne-ever loved me, did he? Because you wouldn't leave someone like that if you loved them. He never... he never... Why didn't he love me?"
Corey's talk turns into tearful babbles even as he keeps rocking his hips down against Michael's upward thrusts, fucking himself past the point of stupid. Rage and grief gnawing such a deep, deep pit in his stomach that he wants it filled immediately. Wants to fill it with the type of pain-pleasure that Michael delivers without even trying. Wants to choke on it, hot and heavy and ruinous.
But who was Corey kidding? The gaping black hole inside him wasn't new, it hadn’t been gouged out by tonight’s revelations. No, no it had been there for as long as he could remember, and it was Wally who had carved it out, taking it with him when he left and leaving Corey wanting.
"Doesn't matter, anyway. I don't care -- I don't -- I don't fucking need anyone. 'Cause I've got you, right? No one ever gave a shit about me, but I'm still here. I - I don't need them. Don't need anyone. I fucking saved myself. No, no, you saved me. And it's just me and you and we're gonna -- it's gonna be -- You'll never leave me, right? Please don't leave me, please don't -- I wanna be with you. I wanna... You wouldn't leave me. No, no, no, not like him, you're not like him -- you're more of a man than he'll ever be, and you're a fucking monster... Oh, god -- FUCK -- Oh, you can keep me forever and ever and ever and --"
Michael pushes him down onto his back. Corey chokes on a gasp as the angle changes and Michael sets a new, more ruthless pace. Ploughing into him -- too hard and too fast and too much -- as Corey's mouth stops working, his grief-stricken rambles melting into moans.
This happens sometimes, Michael losing patience when Corey runs his mouth, but usually Corey has enough sense to know when shut up. Corey's on the edge and he knows that Michael knows that, knows it when a rough, scarred hand closes around his throat, pressing dangerously on either side of his windpipe.
Corey sucks in a breath until he can't anymore.
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The motel room is quiet and dark, once Corey reaches over to shut off the lamp.
He's still sniffling quietly, his sweaty skin sticking to Michael's as he arranges the older man's arms around his shoulders. Michael keeps them there limply, silently, as Corey wraps himself around him.
Abandonment feels so much worse than grief ever had. Wally wasn't dead, he just never wanted Corey. Wally wasn't dead, Corey just wasn't good enough.
Corey's fingers clench. There's a knife on the nightstand, and in his duffle, and one tossed onto the floor along with his clothes. His fingers relax. There's a snub-nose .38 revolver in the glove compartment of their truck.
"He'd deserve it, wouldn't he?" Corey mutters, "Just like she did..." He blinks up at Michael through wet lashes.
Michael doesn't say anything.
He agrees, Corey decides, smiling.
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soepwashere · 1 year
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I made a motivational poster for myself
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aylunas · 7 months
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monthly existential vent post incoming lol guys i so desperately wish i had normal people problems … why can’t i be fussing over my turbulent love life or something why instead do my problems consist of the very soul consuming existential dread whilst i lay on my bedroom floor thinking about to what extent is life meant to be enjoyed and to what extent is it meant to be survived … why does every choice i am given make me feel like all the options are the wrong answer and i’ll always be sick tired absolutely depressed :!!2;&:@,@/£:& everything … feels so empty it makes me wanna cry so bad i always thought being alive was amazing and incredible and there was SO MUCH fun things to do but now all of a sudden . no matter how much i try everything feels like the colour and life has been drained out
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heartbeetz · 16 days
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I NEED to get back into oc f/os. I just remembered my old casino themed anthro shark guy. He never got a solid enough ref sheet (or lore, really) for me to feel comfortable making him one of my f/os but maybe I should remedy that at some point. Big Jack.........
#his name is Jasper Roulette but everyone calls him Big Jack#he's a ''professional'' underground gambler and great white 'card shark'#insists he's an ex crime boss but won't tell anyone what that entailed#well... he WILL. but it's a different story every time. always a lie and often over the top#nobody knows for sure if any of it's true or not. but pretty much everyone either 100% believes it or is too scared to contest it#bc his persona around other casino goers is this rough and tough type guy and he has the looks and talk to back it up#really though even IF it's true he's pretty harmless now. his whole thing is ''yeah I used to do that but I'm turning my life around''#which others are skeptical about but is mostly true. he's kinda just chilling#he's a cheat and a showoff and an asshole but he's more intimidating than he is dangerous#and he has way more money than he cares to do anything with (where he got it who's to say) so he doesn't mind just handing it out#he was the first character I made for a little game / visual novel I wanted to make at one point but ended up giving up on#it was just about sharks in an underground casino#the idea was you could play little mini games and have conversations with them#and if you made the conversation go in the ''right'' direction there'd be little collectibles that opened new paths#but it never went anywhere other than some ideas and a very rough drawing of Big Jack (which actually came first lol)#unfortunately I designed him IMMEDIATELY before I got super into Sparker as one of my f/os so he got swept under the rug real bad#sorry sharky 😔#roz posts
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holyviolence · 20 days
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omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.
#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for#the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity.#i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING.#i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier.#and that's when my dad finally said it.#:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they#are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i#also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way#but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not#politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people#i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a#good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect#my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people#the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and#if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder....#my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid#her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be#her friend.#idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad#bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change
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unbeleevable · 8 months
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lunasilvis · 5 months
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Gradually shifting into a sunnier mood and it feels kinda good 🌞 I also managed to fix an advancing mechanical/electrical issue today with my bass amplifier which was becoming a bigger annoyance by day :/ cheers to diy'ing household (or traditionally masculine) issues as a woman, forever
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hella1975 · 2 years
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the downside of being in a small town is 'ugh everyone knows everyone and i can't get away with anything' but the plus side is 'omg everyone knows everyone and no one else can get away with anything' like small town gossip solos any city shit you could try and match me with
#went to my piercing shop today that's done all my piercings bc my nose ring has been playing up and i wanted a new one#and i saw a girl ive not seen since pre-covid bc we did law together but she dropped it after a year#and she was so nice like we were friends but we werent exactly close but she recognised me straight away and hugged me and everything#it was so sweet#and i was like 'omg do you ever see any of the other law girls' bc being in that specific piercing shop i knew she'd run into our age group#and she was like 'yeah i literally saw [name] a few weeks ago!'#and for context [name] was like an absolute star pupil in every aspect of life#like she was minted she went to a nice school before college she was the smartest in our class she didnt drink#she was just perfectionist to a t and it was very frustrating for someone like me who's kinda all over the place lol#and from snapchat ive seen that she's been having a great time at uni#and i said that to this girl i was like 'oh [name] looks like she's having so much fun!'#and she got SUCH an evil grin like 'ohhh no she's not' AND PROCEEDED TO TELL ME SO MUCH SHIT SDJKHGKJDSH#i love harmless gossip i love bumping into people i like and finding out what everyone's up to i love being nosy#it was also quite a nice reminder that not everything you see on social media is representative#like turns out that girl has a real tough time at uni and i had it in my head that as usual everything was perfect for her#so yeah <3 small town shenanigans <3 it's not often i'll compliment my hometown but it has its moment#*moments
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everystephoftheway · 1 year
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camp cloudtop: chapter seven
Hello friends! I’m hard into the phase of fic writing of ‘ok we’re done introducing and now we just have to have things ~happen~ so what happens’ and I had no idea what was going to happen, but we got there! Thank you for sticking with me!
This can be found on ao3 as well.
After a successful hour in the pool, half the time as swim lessons and the other half as free time, next Vax, Keyleth, and their 7-9 year olds were headed out to the grass field for some games. 
“We should come up with a group name!” shouted Tyne, the boy of the gnome sibling pair. 
“Like a band!” Clemyn, his sister, added and he turned to nod enthusiastically at her.
“You know, what?” Keyleth looked over to Vax who nodded, offering an amused shrug. “You two can be in charge of gathering name ideas. Get an idea from everyone, and then we’ll vote.”    
“Awesome!” The twins high-fived and immediately turned to the kid next to them, brainstorming ideas. Keyleth could’ve sworn she heard something about goldfishes. 
As they finally reached the large field in the back of the grounds, a group of kids were already there with their counselors. These kids were older, most a good foot or more taller than Vax and Keyleth’s group. About fifteen feet across from them were big stacks of hay, each with a tarp with a target painted on it strapped across the front. As they got closer, Keyleth saw tall buckets filled with bows and a smaller bucket filled with arrows. The counselors setting everything up looked familiar.
“Hey, Vax. It’s your sister.” 
Vex’ahlia and Percy were standing by the bows, Vex fiddling with one and Percy twirling an arrow in his hand. 
“You’re not supposed to be here.” The drawstring backpack carrying their supplies bounced on Vax’s back as he jogged over to Vex and Percy, both of whom finally looked up and greeted him with smiles. Simon ran behind him, catching up and grabbing onto one of Vax’s hands.
“What, you’re not happy to see me?” Vex said with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m always happy to see you, sister. Did your schedules change?”
Percy nodded in the affirmative. “The canoes have sprung a leak. It’s not all that surprising. The things look ancient.”
“Hm. Well, just be mindful of where you have your kids shooting, alright? So far all of mine seem pretty agreeable, and I would hate to have to fill out all the injury paperwork on day one.” He looked down and smiled at Simon who looked away with a quiet chuckle, a bit shy. 
Vex scoffed. “As if I don’t know what I’m doing.” Then, with a brief glance to her left, Vex took the arrow out of Percy’s hand, raised her bow, and shot at the furthest target. There was a quiet whoosh through the hay as the arrow struck dead center. 
All of the kids started to cheer, including the little ones, and Keyleth happened to look back over to see Vex eyeing her. “Nice shot!” She gave her a thumbs up, and Vex simply looked away. 
“Whoa, can you do that?” Simon looked up at Vax who was the one to chuckle now. 
“My sister and I learned very early on that it was best if we had different skills. We were way too competitive to attempt the same things.” 
“And he just hated losing too much.” 
“Sure, we’ll let them believe that. Have fun, you all. And, seriously, watch where they aim.”
                                                                ---
“Has anyone ever heard of the game ‘The Floor is Lava’?” Keyleth looked over their group--now settled far enough away from Vex and Percy’s group that a wayward arrow wasn’t a concern--and while two kids raised their hands, the rest looked up at her as if she had tried talking in Abyssal. “Okay, well, never mind. Here’s the game.” 
She raised her hand to show a red water balloon that Vax had just blown up and filled to about the size of a melon. “You’re all going to be in pairs, and your goal is go from that cone,” she pointed to a purple cone next to them, “to that cone,” she pointed to a blue cone about six feet away, “and back without letting the balloon hit the ground.”
“Where does the balloon go?” the draconian girl, Lei’hava, raised her hand, but asked her question before there was an attempt to call on her.
“Excellent question. The balloon goes...” Keyleth gestured for Vax to come over, which he did, and he promptly angled forward, bending just a bit at the hips. Keyleth did the same, their faces now only inches away from each other. Keyleth had managed not to make any eye contact until right as she brought the balloon between their foreheads; he was smiling at her, expression relaxed and hands tucked behind his back. “The balloon goes right here,” she said, pressing her forehead to the balloon and letting her hand fall away. 
“You guys should do it!” Clemyn jumped where she stood. “Do the game!” 
“Oh. Uh...” Keyleth moved the balloon so she could look at Vax. “Do you wanna try?” 
Vax glanced over at their kids, all standing there excited, even Simon smiling in the back. “Why not?”
The kids cheered, and the two of them got into position again. The plastic of the balloon was sticky on her skin, the water sloshing about inside it making it feel unstable and disproportionally heavy. 
“Everyone count us down!”
All at once, the kids shouted, “Three, two, one, go!” 
Both Keyleth and Vax started moving their feet in a crab walk style, him going fast, her going slow.
“Wait!” Keyleth shouted and they both stopped, her hands out like she was balancing on a tight rope. “We need to think about this.”
“Right. What if we turned? One goes forward, one goes backwards?”
Keyleth thought about it for a moment before she nodded, squealing when the balloon bounced between their heads. “Shi--oot. Good idea. Can you go backwards? I’m not--.”
“The most graceful? I remember.” 
Keyleth’s cheeks grew rosy--totally from the sun, just the sun--the two carefully turned themselves into their agreed upon position. 
“Let’s start slow,” he said, and began taking careful steps backward. 
Keyleth matched his pace, hands still sprawled out, eyes locked on the balloon. They got about halfway to the second cone before Clemyn called out, “Faster!” 
“Faster?” Keyleth wasn’t so sure about that, but Vax’s steps started to pick up tempo and she had no choice but to follow suit.
“Come on, we can do this,” he said, voice low as he kept his concentration. 
“Right. Yeah. Totally. We can do this.” 
Now at a brisk walk, the two made it around the blue cone, slowing down a bit to turn and start heading back. The balloon was jiggling between them, but seemed secure. They got to no more than a foot away from the finish line when Clemyn again shouted, “Faster!” 
Vax and Keyleth couldn’t really see each other, each one a blurred, red Picasso version of themselves, but as if they knew what each other were thinking, they sped up at the same pace and ran past the purple cone. The kids erupted into cheers, and immediately started to pick their teams, a few of them playing boulder, paper, shears to determine who got which color balloon.
Vax took their balloon and placed it on the ground by their feet, standing up to offer Keyleth a high-five. “We make a good team.”
She gave him the high-five, nodding. “Yeah, we do.” 
“Mr. Vax, Ms. Keyleth, we’re ready!” Simon called after them, waving his snake plushy like a flag.
“Alright, let’s get you guys going. Everyone to the starting line!” 
Vax started to jog over to the far cone, ready to referee their race, and Keyleth went to take her spot at the starting cone. A cracking ‘pop!’ caused her to jump, and she flipped around to find an arrow stuck straight through where their balloon was on the ground; now it was just a bunch of scrunched plastic pieces and water soaked grass. Keyleth looked across the field and saw Vex smirking their way. 
Not knowing what else to do, Keyleth simply waved. Vex just turned her back, placing the bow in the box with the rest of them, and walked away toward her group.
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transsexual-divinity · 9 months
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I did it! Made it back home from my top surgery!!
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