#what I really want to do at work is like. Talk about theories of the secular wrt to a battlefield defined by the NPS as sacred ground
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Wibta if I told my mom she loves a cat more than her own children.
I do feel like an asshole for this. I’m 17f and I have a younger sister 15F. My parents are married and for the most part good. When have a 12 year old cat that my mom just adores.
This part is all speculation, but when I very young like I was 5 or something my mom had an event that changed a lot. She stayed with her parents and would visits us. My grandparents would help out and no one really ever explained what happened to her but she lived there for like a year, she did move back in with us. My dad got her a cat to cope while she was away. The speculation is she had really bad post partum depression and had a break down. The reason I believe this/and this is my own theory, was when I was struggling mentally, my mom encouraged me to go to a therapist and they asked family history and she said she had struggled with depression/episodes and had tried medication but never stayed on. She just said when she was younger she had a hard time regulating emotions, and she wants me to worry about me and my own emotions. The post patrum comes from the fact that I asked my dad why did you two have kids and he admitted he wanted kids and my mom was more on the fence. I also find it weird she gets really nervous around Mother’s Day and will often try to not celebrate. (She always says she could be a better mom)
My mom is a good mom don’t get me wrong. She’s always encouraged my sister and I to try and do our hobbies. She’ll drive us where we gotta go. I know she works overtime when she wants to make sure we can do stuff for the family. It’s just sometimes, she seems more like a distant mom. She’ll listen to us, do anything asked, but idk how to put it into words.
But she really loves this cat. And I do love our cat too, but this cat and my mom are bonded. The second my mom comes home and the cat greets her and my mom picks her up and kisses her. She calls the cat her pretty princess and a hundred other nicknames. She calls me my dad and sister honey, bunny, and sunny. I know the cat actually makes my mom happy. Her eyes light up when she sees the cat. I know she looks forward to coming home to the cat. When we go on vacations she’ll miss the cat, or if she goes on a work trip she’ll always ask for pictures of the cat or ask to see the cat on FaceTime. She throws a small birthday party for the cat every year and makes a cake. For our birthdays she’ll ask what we want and sometimes she resorts to store bought desserts.
So this is where it gets bad. Our cat is now sick and probably has a year left to live. The vet told my mom she’s a good cat owner and has always done right for her, but with her age, treatment isn’t really the route because it’s not gonna prevent death, so just focus on making the cat happy and comfortable (this vet appointment was her 6 month check up.) My mom hasn’t been doing well mentally. She’s always struggled with mental health. She just seems to have a shakey mind at times if that makes sense. She very much before would hide her struggles, but we knew she’d have them. Before she would like stand still just gripping the counter with one hand. Now my mom is definetly depressed. She will come home be greeted by the cat, and go to her room and cry with the cat. She’s been just not happy.
My sister and I kinda decided to see if telling her we got good grades would cheer her up, and she’ll say good job and will sometimes offer to cook something or get something for us, but her eyes are just like very tired. (There is also an app she can use to check out grades but she never once used it and will just take our word face value) We’ve talked to my dad about this and he basically said that our mom has always loved animals (she use to work with her grandpa at a pet store he owned, but apparently her grandpa wasn’t a good person to most people in the family except her, so that was hard on her). I asked my dad what he thinks and says it’s normal for someone to be sad about this and that he’s gonna work hard or make sure we get all our needs handled. Which is nice, but I kinda wish it was my mom. I don’t feel dire need of anything, I’m just annoyed/jealous a cat can destroy my mom mentally.
My mom has gone over load for the cat. She cooks for her, makes her dinner buys the best food and mixes then. She often cries while cooking, and asks the cat if she likes the food.The cat doesn’t even know what’s happening.
I was looking at prom dresses online and asked my mom to look with me and she was just out of it. She would just say she’d like one or she’s not a fan but don’t let that discourage me. She’s just kinda lifeless. I try talking to her about it and she’ll aplogize and says she’ll get better. (It’s been like a week)
It boiled over when my mom’s sisters came over. (She’s the youngest. One sister has kids and one doesn’t) My mom tried to be happy and perky but ended up crying about the cat. Her sisters kinda said that she’s gotta be strong for her family and my mom just cried saying everything’s gonna be so much harder without the cat. I wasn’t in the room, they were in the basement, and there’s a vent where you can hear everything down there. My sister and I do easedrop to see what they say (her sisters are loud but we can never hear what my mom is saying without the vent. Normally we do it because my mom is a more different interesting person and again we don’t know our mom well. Away from us she kinda puts down the facade and actually talks). I was just angry. Her life isn’t hard. We’re middle class, if she wants to go to therepy she can afford it. We all deal with grief and loss. Yes I’m gonna be sad when our cat passes, but she is an older cat. I don’t imagine my life becoming “harder” other than my mom being depressed, but she is an adult who will heal from this.
After her sisters left and she was doing her night routine, I asked her if she loves the cat more than my sister and I. She said that’s not true and if she could do something more for my sister and I please name it. I told her that that’s the problem is that she does stuff for the cat without thinking, but for us it’s all asking us and she’s the adult she should know. She’s said she’s not a mind reader and she’s gonna rely on the information I give her to help me out where she can. I went to my room because ovbiosuly that conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I feel like my mom understands a cat more than her own daughter.
My dad came in a little while after and we talked. He assured me my mom loves me and this cat has been like an emotional support animal through the years. He mentioned my one friend who has an emotional support dog and compared them and told me that the cat has helped my mom emotionally with emotional regulation and just helps her steady herself. I asked if we were enough, or if my mom regrets having a family and she would just be happier if she just left us for the cat and lived by herself. My dad told me she loves all of us, but depression can be hard to navigate. I asked him about how he wanted us more than our mom and he just said that he was more excited, but my mom wouldn’t have had us unless she wanted us (which I don’t think is totally true.)
I went into my parents room and my mom was there with the cat. Again going to the cat for comfort. I told her I was sorry for saying she loved the cat more than us and she apologized for how her treatment towards the cat can seem that way and if I ever need anything please ask. It made me mad because she again is relying on me to know what’s wrong/ or ask, instead of her just idk taking initiative. I didn’t say that.
I get people can be mentally ill, but she’s also my mom. I do feel bad about telling my mom she loves a cat more than me, but I also don’t feel too reassured.
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This is going to be very long and sound a little crazy at first, and maybe a little mean but please hear me out…
I’m convinced that Taylor sometimes purposefully includes one line or multiple lines of poorly written or clunky lyrics in specific songs to make a point.
We all have seen some version of this with bearding songs like London Boy, a simple bop whose lyrics were immediately detected as sounding disingenuous, even with the general population (the locations she was signing about were the most touristy and too far away from each other to visit on the same day, etc, basically implying that she doesn’t actually have a long term local bf there that she spends a bunch of time with exploring the city with, etc).
But just like everything else on the album, I think she’s doing maybe a more in your face version of that. No holds barred.
So High School is an obvious example of this, with all of the early 2000’s hs imagery, she seems pretty blatantly to be mocking the idea the public has of her “living out every American girl’s high school fantasy” of dating the tall popular football player. With lyrics like “touch me while your friends play grand theft auto” (barf), etc, shes being clear enough that this is not a serious song.
This is the possibly controversial part, but I’m so curious to see what others think about this - I think another iteration of this on this album is the title track, The Tortured Poets Department. Hear me out.
(First, I want to reassure you that there are lines in this song that I really like and think are well written, like: “you’re in self-sabotage mode/throwing spikes down on the road” and “but you awaken with dread/pounding nails in your head/but I’ve read this one/where you come undone/I chose this cyclone with you”. And I fully agree with the idea that these sentiments are from Karlie’s perspective. Basically, when you take out the chunks I’m about to talk about this song makes way more sense and has a beautiful sentiment of undying love behind it - which makes the following parts stick out that much more!)
The first time I listened through the album, and this was the second song, I got terrified because I didn’t understand its place in the whole narrative and when I heard the first clunky line “scratch your head like a tattooed golden retriever” I got the ick. Then the bridge with no structure and no wit and no clever turns of phrase, no metaphor, just “you put my ring on the finger people put wedding rings on” and “that was the closest I’ve ever been to my heart exploding”. So over simplified and cheesy, and doesn’t sound anything like her writing, especially the caliber of her recent lyrics
I know art is largely subjective, but I insist there is no way that the same person who wrote Cowboy Like Me wrote these lines into her title track if she didn’t have a reason and a point to make. To make it clear that this isn’t a matter of genre personal taste, because I know CLM is a very specific sound and a style that music snobs often take more seriously - I love SO many of her candy pop bangers, they are infinitely more clever, articulate, and overall works of art by a true wordsmith than this. Karma, The Very First Night, etc are all a master classes in clever words and tight writing being tucked into an “unserious” pop song.
The lyrics I cited above to me sound like what haters believe her writing sounds like, even fans who make little jokey TikTok’s about her and make up a spoofy something to sing while in character - that’s what these lyrics sound like.
Im worried im being too harsh, but please stay with me because the more I think about the more genius I think it actually is.
In the context of the themes of rest of the album, (her being trapped, miserable, manipulated, ready to burn it all down, screaming to be seen) this theory became clear to me. I think she’s leaning into her public persona (in more ways than one, we’ve already seen it with the stunting), in a way setting a “trap” for her fans and the public, that will essentially call them all out on how they ignored the real her in favor of her pr narrative, making the album about paternity tests, etc, all of which I’m guessing will become very clear in retrospect, possibly after she comes out? (Of course it’s already clear to us now, which is another purpose of the beard songs including clunky writing - to signal to us that these are not serious and that she knows that we know that she knows (like Phoebe on friends lol))
Ultimately, this is (along with So Highschool) a classic beard song. When she writes in this voice, she embodies the most extreme versions of her public persona, not just the one she has cultivated on purpose, but also the one that people have of her that don’t know her (as she did in Blank Space), including those that don’t take her seriously - because her identity as a boy crazy psycho ex girlfriend is directly tied to people dismissing her art as vapid because, they’ve only ever heard her singles, they don’t know the full her.
That voice is the straightest, the most boy crazy, the most one note, and sometimes the most unsophisticated writer version of her that people have in their minds, including her fans - the fans that refuse to see her as a whole person, the real, that believe she is head over heals for big football boy, that believe “he knows how to ball, I know Aristotle” is a romantic line about how opposites attract, the fans that say they don’t “get” some of her most beautiful and well-written songs, the fans that don’t see her and haven’t been seeing her.
They didn’t see giant Taylor on the eras tour, they refuse to see all of her queer signaling, etc, and I think she’s making the bearding songs obvious to underscore the difference between her Taylor(TM) and Taylor(person) personas.
She knows that despite the fact that the lyrics don’t even come close to measuring up to the rest of the album, the public, and many of her fans, will make this song one of the most listened to simply because they are looking for evidence of her relationships from the past year. We’ve all commented on how insane it is that this layered, complex, devastating album is being reduced to the usual paternity tests. This is currently one of the top songs precisely because it is “about Matty”. And of course, So High School is one of the tops songs along with it because it’s “about Travis”.
The juxtaposition of the bearding songs alongside her beautifully written poetry of Prophecy, Peter, Whose Afraid of Little Old Me, Cassandra, How did it end, The Albatross, etc mirrors the juxtaposition of her two selves during the Midnights era.
She has proven the point that if they think she wrote every line of this song completely in earnest, then they see her largely no differently than her haters do, as a subpar writer who writes absurdly cheesy love songs praising trashy to mediocre, problematic men. By eating it up they tell her that’s what she’s good for, for being the subject of tabloids and warring fans who make this entire album about two (purposefully) mediocre songs and the men who “inspired” them.
She has proven her point - that a subset of her fans will be distracted by a lesser song simply because they think it’s about one of the greasy men that’s she been seen holding hands with. That they will ignore once again all of her pleas to be seen, that she’s in pain and caged, and has been driven insane by their willful ignorance. That they don’t appreciate her full potential and talent, that they don’t even see it, and just want to be confirmed in their ideation of her.
This song is essentially the “forget him(her)” pill at the beginning of the fortnight mv, but it’s a sedative for the fans, who are addicted to her straight narrative. Similar to Willow’s 13 chants of “that’s my man” that started off evermore, casting a spell of heteronormativity over everyone who wanted it, so that they could choose to just completely ignore the following 14 gayest songs ever written. Don’t pay no mind to her singing directly about women with zero male perspective - she said “that’s my man!” We’re good! She’s still straight!
Taylor in the fortnight mv had to a take a sedative to be able to go into the next room and write her bearding songs - ie she self medicates to deal with keeping up the straight persona and to get through having to release dumbed down songs to feed the masses. (I also see the pill as something forced on her, I think it represents both layers)
From the first time I watched the music video I thought the writing Taylor looked so miserable and the bearding songs are why.
In this room she’s trapped, churning out the songs that her fans expect of her, the songs that make her team money, the songs that make her money, but that she has to compromise her truth to create.
But when she frees herself she’ll burn the stories that weren’t true, the filler that doesn’t represent her.
I’m curious to hear other’s thoughts on this - have you ever felt like Taylor purposefully inserts off-sounding lyrics that are written in a different voice to make a point?
I want to reiterate that it’s not the entirety of either song that I think is terrible, I genuinely love bopping along to both So High School and TTPD (track). Like I said above, when you remove the clunky lines from ttpd (track), the song has another layer and likely gives voice to some Karlie insight that is beautiful and tragically profound. It’s the red herrings, the pieces specifically meant to tie this song to a bearding narrative, that I’m dissing, and the only reason they are suspicious in the first place is because I know how gifted Taylor is with the written word.
Taylor is such a skilled writer that she can embody the voice of the bad writer that dismissive ignorant idiots believe her to be, just to make a point!
I even wonder if maybe there is a second version of this song locked away in one of those drawers in the fortnight writing room that leaves out the red herrings and is a thousand times better than the bearding version we got.
I hope one day we get to hear it.
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TMAG Theory Board Update (EP 11-12)
Hi guys sorry about the late posting I've just started a new quarter of college and its been pretty hectic. also got into my school design BFA program so pretty stoked about that! Anyways lets get into the Episode Breakdowns because even though not a lot of lore related things happened I still have a lot to talk about
For the breakdown I'll separate each by episode in sequential order
What Happened in Episode 11: Marked
Celias Rude Awakening- we jump right into the weirdness straight away with Celia waking up on the side of the interstate. she indicates that this is not a weird occurrence and ends the scene by telling someone named Jack that she's "on her way." If you remember episode 8 after Celia and Sam talk to Gerry and Gertrude, she mentions stuff about wanting help with her own mystery. When Sam asks about it she says she's looking into Time travel, other dimentions and teleportation. Many people have theorized that maybe Celia is just a super heavy sleepwalker, but I think the she teleports random places out of nowhere. This could be a side effect of her reality hopping if this Celia is originally from The archives universe.
As for the identity of Jack I'm not quite sure about that yet. I cross referenced the name Jack with past episodes of TMA. The only thing that came up was Jack Barnabas from the statement about dating Agnes Montague (aka an avatar of the desolation and Jesus-like figure for the cult of the lightless flame) So Unless Celia is secretly Agnes of Agnes reincarnated , I can't find any way to link Barnabas to Celia. (if anyone has a theory feel free to send it my way.)
Sam Lore- this one is pretty minor story-wise but I thought it was interesting. Before the statement for the episode is presented we get some classic Sam and Alice Banter ™ most of it is pretty lighthearted but I noticed Sam mention something that could indicate he might be an amputee.
These could not mean anything and I find it weird that it hasn't been mentioned until now but thought it was kind of cool and I will probably be drawing sam with a prothetic leg in the future cause I really like this head-canon. It also begs to question if he is missing a leg. it might have anything to do with his past as a Magnus institute test subject but then again could just be a fun character detail added by Jonny and/or Alex .
The Statement- Getting into the statement we get another Ink5oul appearance. Also possible Ink5oul identifying as she/they. (and lets be honest being a fear avatar is pretty non binary core). I found this Episode gave me a feeling of a hybrid between the Vast, Buried and the Flesh some people are theorizing that is might be a new entity called the Deep but I think that the fear of the ocean could easily apply to the vast or buried. Not much to say about this story though pretty standard Magnus horror that also gave us a hint to what Ink5oul's goal could be/which entity they serve.
Post Bonzo- Gwen has a debrief with Lena after her first Externals Liason assignment and her meeting with Mr. Bonzo. Undoubtedly Gwen is still pretty shaken from her encounter, even arriving late to work due to sleeplessness. Gwen is able to ask Lena a few questions mainly she wanted to know who's name was written on the letter given to Bonzo
Lena is largely unhelpful but tells Gwen she should have worked it out by now and if not to pay close attention to the case load for the next couple of days. before the latest episode my guess was Klaus because that is the only person mentioned so far that the OIAR intends to kill. but more on that later
Marked- Now were getting to my favorite thing about this episode. This episode title can have two meanings. The first is the more literal interpretation. Tattoos are marking of the body and the case this episode was all about tattoos so easily a good name would be marked. But I believe this is a red herring meant to misguide listeners who have not consumed all 200 episodes of TMA because if you know the world of Magnus Archives the term Marked takes on a entirely different meaning.
In TMA the term marked is used to indicate that somebody has been influenced by one or more or the fears and are one their way to becoming an Avatar. I think this could be a coded way to tell the audience someone in the OIAR has been marked. I have two potential candidates
Alice Dyer- Alice has been having dreams about the Institute after her and Sam's adventure into the ruins. also she mentions feeling like someone's watching her (common to people influenced or fed upon by the Ceaseless Watcher/The Eye) My guess if she is marked it would be by the Eye.
Gwendolyn Bouchard: Probably the most likely culprit. The main way an entitly tends to mark people is through encounters with other avatars. Gwen has just had an encounter with Mr Bonzo last episode who I strongly believe must be an avatar of some sort.
What Happened in Episode 12: Getting Off
Aww Sam!!- Sam asked Celia out and it was adorably awkward. not much to say I just loved this interaction and I'm longing for a new Magnus brand office romance hopefully is wont be an agonizing slowburn that ends tragically like a certain pair of morons from Archives (I love you Jon and Martin but Jesus christ)
It's Bonzo time bitches!!- Probably one of the most gruesome Magnus statement I've ever listened to (good work Alex) Mr Bonzo completely annihilated some poor dude at his bachelor party. Based on the date of the Incident the I can confidently say that whoever Baz (the groom) was he was our mystery person the OIAR sent Mr Bonzo to get rid of. Along with some of the bloodiest imagery we learned a few things about Bonzo. The most interesting detail is that Bonzo has to be summoned by playing his theme song I think the CD of his theme song acts somewhat like the tapes did in TMA by materialising out of nowhere. Also fun fact you know that torn seam that is right down Bonzo's middle? that is actually is his mouth lined with rows sharp teeth so I guess I know that now (so fun) Moral of the story dont f*ck with Mr. Bonzo
Alice knows something: Theres been this recurring audio glitch throughout TMAGP thatnks to a few extremly observent fans we have started to relize that these glitches are not at all random and are actually letting the audience know when a character is lying (i actually reposted somones deepdive into all the istances of this glitch so far if you guys are intrested in knowing more) why i bring this up now is becuase since we know when any charater is lying we also know when they are being truthful if there is no glitch when they say somthing and at the end of this episode this interaction occurs
Alice goes ahead and makes a joke about this to annoy Gwen but the fact theres no audio glitch when she says "I know" means she does actually know who is behind the OIAR and is activly refusing to share it with Gwen or the others. What do you know Alice!?
and that's about it im already loving these next batch of episodes and am so excited to learn more (ERROR has to show up somtime )
thanks to everyone who resonded the poll on the last update I will continue to include drawings into the breakdown even if it takes me a little bit of time to post. anyways I wrote this all in one sitting and I'm about ready to pass out so thanks again and the ask box and comments are always open for discussion and theory crafting.
-Echo
#the magnus protocol#augustus tmagp#tmagp#chester tmagp#gwendolyn bouchard#jonathan sims#lena kelley#martin blackwood#norris tmagp#tmagp theory#ink5oul#tmagp fanart#tmagp spoilers#the magnus pod#magpod#tmagp speculation#magnus protocol#magnuspod#alice dyer#gwen bouchard#samama khalid#lena kelly#celia ripley#tmagp celia#rusty quill#alexander j newall#celia x sam#tmagp thoughts
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JAMES HETFIELD STUDENT TEACHER SMUT PLEASEE 🙏🙏🙏
How’d you know I already had this written?? 🤭
Music theory was my favorite college class. You could say it was for my passion for music, or my love for craft. Or maybe it was my strikingly handsome professor.
I was always in the front row, and he was always standing behind his desk. He had a way of talking that made me feel like I was the only one in the room.
Professor Hetfield. He was 40, with a handsome face and a muscular body. I preferred to say his name though, James. He was a handsome man.
The class had been going on for two months now, and I'd only ever heard him speak about the subject. I didn't know anything about his personal life, or what he did outside of school.
After class, I'd sit and wait for him to finish his work. He was always busy grading papers or prepping for the next class. When he finished, he'd walk over to me and we'd talk about what we had just learned.
"I'm glad you're enjoying the class. You have a lot of potential." He said one day after class. "Thanks, Professor,"I replied. "Call me James outside of school." He said with a smile. "Okay, James." I said with a smile. Before I could leave, he asked me to stay behind. "Hun, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked. "Sure." I replied.
He walked over and sat down next to me on the desk in front of his papers. "I've noticed you sitting in the front row every day. You seem to be very interested in the subject." He said. "I am, it's my favorite class." I replied.
"I'm glad to hear that. I have a proposition for you." He said. "What is it?" I asked. "I want to give you private lessons, just the two of us." He said with a smile. "Oh?" l asked."Yes, I’d like to teach you some things that I can't teach in class." He said.
"What kind of things?" I asked. "Things that will help you understand the subject better." He said with a smile. "I'd love to." I said.
"Great, we can start tomorrow after class." He said with a smile. Professor Hetfield walked in and stood behind his desk. "We could start now" I said softly. "What?" He asked. "I said we could start now." I said with a smile. "Someone's impatient." He said with a grin.
"Professor? Is it really grading papers what you want me to do?" I slipped my gaze down his figure. James nonchalantly adjusted his jeans. He sat down in his seat, leaning back with an exhale. His gaze was fixated on me.
He dropped the playful banter as he came to realize I understood what he was getting at. "Come here." He commanded, his tone changing.
Nervously, I swallowed, walking around his desk to stand in front of him in his seat. James watched me contently. "On your knees, now." He said, his voice low and soft.
I knelt down in front of him, my eyes glued to his crotch. I could see the outline of his cock through his jeans. “Don’t be scared, I know what you wanna do,” James teased, tucking some of my hair behind my ear.
I reached out and ran my hand over the bulge, my breath hitching. "Take it out." He said, his voice husky. I nervously unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, revealing a pair of boxer briefs that were straining to contain his hard cock.
I giggled softly, which seemed to get him off. I hooked my fingers into the waistband and pulled them down, freeing his cock. It was big, about 8 inches long and thick.
I wrapped my hand around it and started stroking it slowly. "That's it." He said, his voice low and husky. I looked up at him, my eyes meeting his.
Something about his lust filled eyes drove me crazy, and I could feel my clit pulse.
"Use your mouth sweetheart." He said with a smirk. I opened my mouth and took his cock in, running my tongue over the head.
"Oh fuck." He moaned, his hand coming to rest on the back of my head. I started bobbing my head up and down, taking more of him into my mouth. "That's it, suck that cock." He said, his voice low and husky.
I moaned around his cock as I continued to suck him off.
"I never knew you were such a dirty girl." He said, his hand tightening in my hair. I moaned again, taking more of his cock into my mouth.
James impatiently forced my face down as far as it could go. I choked for a moment, catching my breath. "Good job..." He groaned, allowing me to sit my head back up to regain myself.
I took a breath, letting the saliva drip from my mouth onto his tip. He let out a sigh as I bobbed him in my mouth again.
"You're going to make me cum." He said, his voice low and husky. I moaned around his cock, sucking him harder.
"Fuck... I'm cumming!" He groaned, his hand tightening in my hair as he came down my throat. I swallowed his load, savoring the taste.
"Fuck..." He said, his hand releasing my hair. I sat back on my heels, looking up at him with a smile. "You're a good girl." He said with a smirk.
"Thank you, professor." I said with a smile. "Don't thank me yet." He said with a smirk. He stood up and walked around his desk, grabbing my hips and pulling me over it. "Up against the desk." He said, his voice determined. I did as he said, my hands resting on the desk. He pulled my skirt up over my ass and pulled down my panties.
"You can do better than that, pretty." He said with a smirk, pushing my face down onto his desk. I felt his hands on my ass, spreading my cheeks. "Fuck... you're so wet." He said with a smirk.
"What a bad Girl. Sex with your professor? Such a dirty girl aren't you?" He said with a smirk. "Yes, professor." I said with a moan.
I felt his cock against my entrance. James grabbed my waist with his free hand, pushing into me with a shove. "Fuck! Professor!" I moaned, my body shuddering. He showed me no mercy as his thrusts were already quick. His hand on my back to keep me down.
"Fuck... you're so tight." He said with a groan. I clenched my eyes shut, my face smushed against the desk as he used me as he pleased.
My g spot was pretty much being abused. "You like that sweetheart?" James grunted. "Yes, professor." I moaned. He squeezed my ass hard.
"Fuck... you're so good for me." He said with a groan. Without warning, the feeling left as James pulled out. "Turn around." He growled. I sat up, turning to look at him.
James swiftly lifted me up, plopping me down on top of his desk. I laid back on the paper littered desk. He pushed me down so that my ass was on the edge of his desk.
"Open your legs." He said with a smirk. I did as he said, spreading my legs wide for him. James hastily grabbed me, pushing back inside of me.
I let out a loud pornographic moan, my head falling back. Once I had collected myself, I tightly wrapped my legs around his waist. I couldn't believe what was happening.
I watched him clench his eyes shut as my own professor roughly took me.
"Ahh, fuck…” I whispered, hearing stray papers and assignments falling to the floor. I felt his hands on my hips, pulling me towards him as he thrust into me.
"Fuck... you're so tight." He groaned, his voice low and husky.
I moaned, feeling my orgasm building up inside of me. "Oh, oh…" I moaned, my eyes rolling back. "Cum for me." He said with a smirk.
"Fuck... professor..." I moaned, my body shuddering as I came all over his cock. He let out a growl as he continued to fuck me through my orgasm.
"You can take it, I'm not ready to stop yet" He groaned, shaking his head to get the long hair out of his eyes. "You look so good when you cum" James choked out. "James please it's too much!" I begged, the overstimulation was shaking me to my core.
"You want me to cum? don't you?" He asked coldly. "Yes…" I pleaded. "Then you’ll wait..." He said with a smirk. He continued to use me, it was beginning to hurt a bit, but it felt so good. I couldn't say no to him, I wanted to see him get off.
James pulled out in seconds, grabbing my arms and pulling me hastily off of the desk. "On your knees, now, quick." He demanded. I dropped to my knees, my eyes locked on his cock.
"Open your mouth." He said with a smirk. I did as he said, opening my mouth wide for him. "You're such a good girl." He said with a smirk, his hand wrapping around the back of my head. I watched as he jerked himself off, aiming for my mouth.
"Open wider." He said with a smirk. I did as he said, opening my mouth wide for him. I felt his cock against my tongue, then the warm salty taste of his cum.
"Swallow it." He said with a smirk. I did as he asked, swallowing down every drop of his seed for the second time.
"Fuck... you're so good for me." He said with a smirk, "You can't tell anyone about this." He uttered, brushing his thumb past my cheek as he intently looked down on me.
"I won't." I said with a smile. "Good girl." He said, reaching down and giving my ass a squeeze before he walked away from me towards his desk to grab some tissues for himself.
"Why don't you come to my place? I think I might have some more work for you to do." James eyed me sharply.
I couldn't believe what he was saying. "I don't know..." I said, biting my lip. "Why not?" He asked with a smirk. "Well... I don't want to get in trouble." I said with a shrug.
"Oh, you won't." He said with a smirk, "I'll make sure of it." I nodded, biting my lip. "Okay…" I said with a smile. Leaving hun with a soft kiss.
#mustainegf#metal#reqs open#smut#request#smutshot#metallica#metallica headcanons#metallica fluff#metallica x reader#metallica smut#metallica fanfiction#thrash metal#heavy metal#james hetfield x you#james hetfield fluff#james hetfield smut#james hetfield x reader#james hetfield fic#james hetfield fanfiction#james hetfield
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Trying? Trying??? By learning. By succeeding!
(about this and my text under the cut)
this is very nice actually thank you so much <3 <3 and like, i probably do need to give myself more credit in general but also i am still very much learning and stumbling and figuring digital art out (and for the most part it is so fun)
I’m gonna ramble about this a bit so bear with me and also i apologize lol, but that art was done after a month of getting increasingly more frustrated with everything turning out so badly and eventually realizing that I was trying to 1. copy a certain look/style that i’ve internalized is what fanart and digital art should look like and is very far away from my style/comfort zone 2. i was trying to do everything digital allows without being comfortable with it or understanding it
so (and this took me a month to realize ? ??) i did what i already knew from doing acrylic and oil painting in the past and could somewhat easily transfer to digital without having to know more than the basics, like i didn’t use a lot of the things digital provides or allows for. i used layers for my own peace of mind but without actually needing them and did some color adjusting (honestly, the color adjusting digital lets you do is such a blessing to me) but the only fancy way i really utilized the medium was making it a gif (which is so fun and a lot easier than i would have thought, like honestly watch me make any future art into gifs too) but there are so many things you can do with the medium with settings/effects, different brushes, tools to use in the process etc that i just do not understand what they are or how to implement them so i am very slowly learning digital art as a whole new medium rather than just being able to use it to adapt what i already know
#sorry you just wanted to say a quick thing and i went on a whole rant (welcome to my blog tbh)#like i'll watch tutorials and they'll be like 'and i just did an overlay and then a multiply layer in a good color (:' and im like ??? wdym#'a good color' what color is a good color? like i can put those effects on my work but that's just me clicking a button without knowing wha#will happen really and like i watch speed paints and see them do stuff and im just ? HUH? what was that and why?#i also do not understand a lot of these concepts with traditional art tbh like people will talk about under paintings and im like yeah sure#i hear you however i also do not- i just place a color where it should be and that's that which i know is why my colors often don't feel#cohesive which is also something i need to learn which is blah- im basically just saying i actually do not know any theory or technique#even with traditional it is all just vibes and hoping for the best which in the long run just makes me very confused about what i am#actually doing and not confident at all i'll be able to do it again so u know#we're out here literally just raw dogging art without any thought#but it's also just i do not need to do all those fancy things but i would like to understand them and i am excited to see my progress now#i just really had a shitty month of making ugly things up until now okay so i was a little fragile when i posted that#but people have been so so nice about it and ive been crying for two days straight#also people have been so lovely about the colors and colors are deadass the hardest part about digital like with paint you often buy a set#that already match and then mix them if needed and they'll look nice together but with digital you're just on your own- no training wheels#ask#anon
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whats the point of leftist praxis if youre just going to be mean and cynical to everyone. literally if your politics aren’t grounded in Being Kind they are worthless to me. personally i dont want subsidized healthcare and fair wages because i read that theyre Correct in a book somewhere. i just think its a dick move to have a world where people cant afford to live. conservatism isnt Mean because it’s Bad, it’s Bad because it’s Mean.
#id rather serve soup with a kind well meaning bunch of old ladies who dont really get all that 'politics' stuff#but think everyone deserves a warm drink and a safe bed#than a million self righteous assholes who think if you aren't working 90-hour weeks and streaming marx straight into your skull#you're worthless to The Movement.#the latter group..... like girl you aren't a community organizer. you're just deeply unpleasant to be around.#if your service to your community is based in self-flagellation and musty old theory instead of love#then what are you doing. cmon. whats the point. you're gonna say all that just to turn around and be an asshole for no reason?#CHRIS FLEMING SAID IT BEST PER USUAL.#CALL YOURSELF A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER BUT YOU CANT EVEN GET ALONG WITH YOUR ROOMMATES.#anyways i am prepared for someone to reblog this and say that i'm tone policing#but this post isn't about the difference between being ''nice'' and being ''kind''#it's about the people who use that difference as an excuse to be neither.#so do your bad-faith interpretations if you want. if this upsets you you're probably the sort of person it's about.#(this is not a vague about any of my followers though it's mostly a general statement)#(prompted in this case by someone in my social work class)#(who's on a horse so fucking high she might as well be outside the gates of Troy)#rhi talks#sj#misc
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ok so today I had one of the most fascinating and enlightening discussions maybe of my life and I need to share bc it blew my MIND (warning: long)
here's the context. there is a friend I have. they are a pretty good friend of mine that I've known for many years now and I appreciate them as a person very much. lately I have noticed that they've been texting me fairly frequently. which, from my point of view, is once every couple of days. not because they had something specific to say, but just saying hello or asking how my day was.
I'm sure this was well-intentioned, but this was starting to get a tiny bit grating for me. we just met up in person literally two days ago! and you had texted me not long before that, too! nothing new has happened since then! my day has been quite boring, actually! I thought, in my mind, as I swiped away the notification—and immediately felt like an awful friend.
I knew from past experience that responding to the message would invite an immediate and not easily escapable conversation that, due to my poor multitasking skills, would distract me from work or require me to context switch away from whatever else it was I was doing at the moment—cooking, doing chores, watching TV—and worse, amount to little more than idle chit-chat about the same boring quotidian complaints as usual. I am not one of those people who thinks they're above small talk or don't see its social value, but I found myself thinking, am I the one who is being not normal here in not enjoying having this specific kind of interaction MULTIPLE times a week with the SAME person?
so recently, I've been finding myself routinely avoiding opening this particular friend's messages for fear of hurting their feelings if they saw that I had left them on read for a prolonged period of time. I had even gone so far as to avoid posting in a group chat in which we're both participants so that they don't realize that I have, in fact, been online, just not responding to them, specifically. my hope was that after enough slow responses, this friend would eventually get the hint and give up on trying to maintain a steady steam of conversation, but somehow this has not worked so far.
this was starting to weigh on my conscience. I realized that I will have to eventually fight my conflict-avoidant tendencies and just confront this friend directly, for the sake of both my sanity and our friendship. but how to do this gently? tactfully? without implying that I don't value their friendship or that I perceive them as needy or annoying? that was the tricky question. because I know that my friend isn't doing anything wrong! if anything it is probably me that is weird and antisocial and I probably just need to work on my social skills!
but not wanting to feel like a total asshole and hoping to go in with an informed and reasonable mindset (knowing full well that my understanding of social norms isn't always the keenest), I asked a different group chat for their opinion, hoping to gain some perspective on what boundaries they generally considered normal and acceptable to exercise. I phrased my question thusly:
how many friends* would you say you have where you text on a regular basis (say, multiple times a week) 1:1 just to say hi, about nothing in particular
*explicitly a friend, not a family member or SO
y'all. the responses were eye-opening.
there were four people who participated in this discussion, all four of whom were in different camps and had wildly different experiences:
0, and assumed most others were the same
0, but assumed most others were not the same
multiple, and assumed most others were the same
multiple, but assumed most others were not the same
1 was me; in retrospect, I am realizing that because I had assumed that these kinds of interactions were not typical, I had interpreted my friend's gesture as something much more significant than it probably was in their mind, which is to say something that they just happen to do with everyone they know and like—which created a sort of pressure in my mind not to let them down and caused a sense of intense anxiety when I found myself struggling to reciprocate. I am absolutely floored at the revelation that it is apparently normal and common for people to have MULTIPLE friends (not even partners!!! or family!!!) that they are talking to on a constant ongoing basis at any given time, and at the possibility that I was treating my friend's feelings with kid gloves when it REALLY wasn't that hashtag deep for them.
2 clarified that they never initiate these kinds of chats, but when others initiate with them, they're fairly comfortable with simply letting these kinds of pings go unanswered, assuming the other person will just move on to someone else without taking it personally.
3 confessed to me that they once tried to do something similar with me, and eventually gave up, but had felt a bit hurt and rejected at my lack of enthusiasm, because they assumed that I was doing this with other people, just not them specifically. they sympathized very strongly with my friend.
4 also recalled that they had at one point tried something similar with me, but sort of got that I wasn't one of those people who would be receptive to this style of communication and wasn't particularly bothered by this, agreeing with 2 that the expectation is not that the recipient HAS to respond, and that my friend should probably pay closer attention to the face-saving social cues I was sending by not responding or responding slowly.
but yeah, the takeaway from this conversation is that people's preferences and experiences and expectations when it comes to digital communication are WILDLY varied, and because both communication technology and the social conventions surrounding them are changing CONSTANTLY (just a few examples: are read receipts good or bad? what about typing indicators? online status? are emoji reacts or gifs/stickers an acceptable substitute for an actual reply? group chats vs. 1:1 DMs? synchronicity and formality of various communication methods like email and chat and video? are phone calls are still socially acceptable?) there are either no agreed-on norms or different camps of people have vastly different understandings of what the norms are
among the other highlights/a-ha moments of this discussion:
Friend 4 asked another friend who is even MORE extraverted than they are what their # was and they reported somewhere in the ballpark of 20-40 people in any given week which is absolutely buckwild to me (importantly, all four of us in the original group happen to be software engineers, a class of people notorious for their lack of sociability, so I have no confidence that I have captured a representative sample size even within this particular group—the numbers both 3 and 4 gave were still both in the single digits, though they are definitely the warmest and friendliest of the bunch)
I realized that one difference between me and 3/4 was that we fulfill our social needs quite differently? specifically, I mostly connect with friends over group chats, of which I have a handful that are quite chatty and at least one or two that I'm actively posting in on any given day. I also typically have at least one, often multiple, real-life social plans every week! I am, in fact, very satisfied with my social life, to the point where it is almost maxing out my social quota (especially recently now that I've started dating someone)! but anyway—I find group chats to be my ideal form of day-to-day communication because there's less urgency and pressure for any individual person to contribute if they're not feeling up for it, and ALSO in the case of group chats where at least one member is a straight man (which is the majority of them for me, and I call out straight men only because they are the only demographic I have historically had this issue with) there is less room for platonic interactions to be undesirably misinterpreted as romantic
3/4 expressed that they prefer 1:1 conversations because they feel more personal and they can be more vulnerable about sensitive topics, which I would generally agree with—though in several of my group chats, I personally do feel comfortable enough with all the members to share things about myself with the entire group just by virtue of having known everyone for a long time and having built group camaraderie, but they seemed to not be comfortable with this without having previously established a consistent 1:1 pattern of day-to-day communication (or maybe they meant they were uncomfortable with the group forum itself, even if they were cool with sharing with everyone individually)?
they also expressed that for them, frequent unsolicited checkins and 1:1 attention from a friend would feel exciting/flattering/validating for them, whereas for me it would feel overwhelming, especially if we weren't THAT close
I do use 1:1 DMs also, but for a very different set of use cases: 1) if I haven't caught up with someone in a while (read: weeks or months), in which case we'll often just not text super long and make plans to call or meet in person instead, or 2) if I have something specific to say, like "here's this meme/song/piece of news I think you'd like to see" or "I need advice on X" or "guess what happened that made me think of you" or "I heard X happened, are you OK?"
I found that whereas I have a very clear distinction between communication preferences with a friend (someone I talk to on a regular basis but don't have a constant line of individual communication with) vs. a significant other (more or less willing to do this, unless they preferred not to), such a boundary between a platonic and romantic relationship does NOT exist for all people which boggled my mind
but yes anyway. I am learning so much about the way people view socializing in the digital age and I am so curious to know more and I kind of wish more people talked about this more openly (specifically among friends! because in my experience this is something that is fairly common to sort out explicitly in a romantic context) because I think this is probably the kind of thing that no one talks about because people are either afraid of potentially hurting feelings or everyone is just kind of assuming by default that their takes are universal without realizing that no actually, many people have strong opinions on this that are the polar opposite of theirs
but my gut feeling is that there is a lot of completely unnecessary friction that could just be resolved if only we could agree that it's cool to be more upfront about what our communication preferences are without worrying about that being taken extremely personally by the other party? bc idk, every single person I talked to about this today was like holy shit this was a whole fucking revelation actually, I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before thank you for bringing this up
#cam thoughts#I still have to talk to original friend#but am thinking maybe doing this next time I see them in person bc I find it so much easier to convey tone not when typing#bc there is an external factor that I suspect may have to do with why they're suddenly reaching out so frequently and I want to be sensitiv#but now I want to know the answer to this question for literally everyone I know. Im SO curious what is actually objectively normal/typical#but my gut tells me that this is like#inherently a delicate question to ask bc it can really make it uncomfortably clear if 2 ppl are not on the same page re:their friendship#also I realized that most of this group are specifically SWEs who have worked ON a chat application in the past.#so of COURSE we all have super strong opinions about literally all of this which is hilarious#also I didn't want to say it but have I definitely been thinking *meme voice* is this attachment theory? this whole time? lowkey mayhaps.#also also if you're reading this and I ever left you on read please do know that I do feel bad about it and I am sorry#final postscript I do not mean to suggest that I never want to be reached out to or checked in on. just. my capacity for social threads#is extremely low so please don't take it personally if I cannot prioritize your message right away or scale back chatting to a slower pace#tl;dr everyone is normal and fine and just different and the sooner we realize this the healthier our digital social lives will become.
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Am I aroace or have I just been awake too long?
#rav speaks#its 2am and im listening to a mix of twice aqourus and J-metal girl bands while questioning everything in my life#anyway do people actually feel the way they describe in romance songs??#like idk ive had like 3 crushes in my life but like i dont think i could actually see myself in a relationship?#so either im aro or like I just have trouble imagining a relationship becuase ive been single my whole life#its like how sex is pretty interesting to me and id be down for it in theory but i cant see myself actually doing it#interesting in a im curious if its really all that people make it out to be#cuz it seems prettyyyy boring to me lol#specially since lesbo sex apparently takes agessss and i know for a fact i would not let a dick get anywhere close to me#anyway off topic#im trying to figure out if the way i feel about romantic relationships is the same way i feel about sex#like in theory id love to have a gf and like do datey things but like it seems like so much effort to get to that stage#got a dating app and im barely on it because ive realised i dont really want to actually talk to anyone#and like i was meant to meet up with someone today who when i first started talking to on said app i was like kicking my feet and blushing#but i noticed that im starting all the convos and decided i was just like fed up of that whats the point of trying to get to know someone#if they arent interested yknow. like they were meant to get a bus to my city and i was hoping they would just like tell me a bus time#and we'd go from there but nothing. so im just like. over it#and i feel like thsts probably not really how crushes really work?#its like i had a bit of a crush on a girl in my classes but once exam season hot and i stopped seeing her so regaually i just kinda forgot#i think she might be in 1 or w of my classes this term so maybe talking to her again will relight that but im prettyyyy sure shes staight#so prpbs better to loose the feels anyway#this is just a rambling mess now i really need to sleep#Maybe I'll figure myself out eventually but for now im gonna stick with grey aro cuz i think thst makes the most sense?#unless there are other micro aro lables i dont knoe of (very likely)#at least i know I'll always be an asexual lesbian even if i dont know if ill ever actually date girls#honestly life would be so much easier if i jsut loved my bestfriend it wojld be so cool if we could be in romantic feeling together but#alas we tried dating for lkke a week and i avoided her the whole time cuz i felt a deep deep sence of wrongness lol#its like again in theory i could see us as a great gf duo like if i was watching our lives as a show id be shipping us#but in practice its njst wrong#if anyone actually reads all of this you get a reward of uhh 🦎 goodnight!!
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I can't with the previous post. It's just so good applied to Levi, Lacie, Oswald and even Jack.
Levi has his hands tied by the Baskerville system that is a sort of scam by the Jurors‚ like every Glen. But he says "let's just create a change" and gives a will to the Core. And he does so with the full intention of changing the narrative, if just to avoid the boredom of spending eternity watching the same thing happen over and over again from a sit in someone else's mind.
Lacie goes along with it because of her desire to ease the Core's loneliness, but in her idea of the children of misfortune being a consequence of this loneliness and her feelings of doubt or reservations, perhaps, revealed even before the tree scene in the scene in which she talks about this with Oswald, we could interpret this as her desire to end the existence of the children of misfortune and thus the cycle.
Jack plays into this in his attempt to take the "real" world to the "Abyss" world, but when he most consciously twists the narrative the Jurors had settled was when he intently made the decision to take the power from the Baskervilles. And I do think it has to do with ending the very system that doomed Lacie and Oswald and he deemed cruel and like torture, but mainly it is so that no one would interfere with him in the future.
Oswald tries to destroy the new narrative Jack has or is creating first by trying to stop him, but later on by trying to stop Levi's schemes before everything happened, resettling the narrative he was controlled and doomed by, serving still as their tool. And then he literally faces the truth, in the most explicitly way no one ever has been told this in that "real" world before, and threatens to kill the instigators of that narrative. And then just renounces, in a lack of action that is him at his most active ("not with a bang but a whimper", how fitting is that?!!!).
Ultimately there is a middle ground but the narrative is changed for good. For better or worse. With uncertain future consequences. But it is changed, and it feels kinder. And as a thank you the source of every narrative, the ink and paper of the narrative, lulls someone who shouldn't have existed but changed the world to sleep by telling him a different story. Because that's it. They're stories, and Oz deserved to go with a kinder one, because the ink and paper of the narrative loves him. And it's so interesting how that works metanarratively too. The author tells the story, but the author tells the reader a story about the stroy telling a softer version of the story, so that the reader too will get it alongside Oz. That works on several levels and it's so so interesting.
#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I was thinking a couple of days ago about how Lacie states that to Oswald in chapter 101 and how it seems to hint towards her choosing#to go through it not just in an attempt to ease the Core's loneliness but also trying to end the cycle if the children of misfortune really#originate from that. Ultimately it doesn't seem to work because even after Vincent there had kept existing new children. It could be argued#that perhaps it's due to the Will's own loneliness and isolation‚ or to the Core now being more sure about what loneliness is‚ or maybe#the author just didn't think of it further. Even after everything that happens the existence of the children of misfortune is necessary to#access the Core‚ that will now speak through Jack's body‚ Jack's mouth. So maybe Lacie's theory is true. And I like to think it is‚#but I'm biased bc I like how it works narratively and I love the concept of the children of misfortune being like emanences of the Core#and the parallelisms drawn from it. Like with Jack. Lacie's attempt to ease the Core's loneliness + chance the cycle works so well with#Jack's own intention and methods but in a twisted way‚ which works so well with how he misinterpreted her desire in his will to keep living#The Core gaining a certain sense of personhood through Lacie works very well with Jack both gaining first and then losing it for the same#The Core having a vague feeling of loneliness that Lacie recognises and knowing to acknowledge it thanks to Lacie works well with Lacie#learning to do the same through Jack‚ and with both Jack and Lacie recognising that loneliness in each other and feeling some kind of#connection and understanding due to that‚ yet not knowing it in themselves until facing the other. How that dooms them both in some ways#And now it's the typical Core/Lacie/Jack parallelisms that get a thousand faces and mirages through the story#of which I always talk and that makes me end up talking about pretty much every character in the manga and Cantor's transfinite numbers#so I will shut up already. I've already talked a lot. And sorry for the post but I couldn't fit everything in the tags#and I don't want to lose the idea‚ I want to keep on thinking about it more thoroughly#Pardon also my denomination of the worlds. Understand the " in the nietzschean sense please#Also that goes to my future self if I forget but I think I'll understand what I mean with that#I'm myself after all‚ if slightly altered‚ and live inside myself#I think there was some other clarification I wanted to make and perhaps some correction but I can't recall right now#It doesn't matter much because this is a draft for future personal pondering‚#but I hope it's not too grave as to confuse my future thoughts or that at least I will catch it later on
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yes hello it is "having epiphanies about the lore" hours
#why can't i have epiphanies about the lore at like. 5pm#why does it always have to be when i'm either supposed to be working or sleeping#also hey how would people feel about me making videos to explain my lore theories/interpretations?#cause like. i'm really struggling to explain things in writing for some reason#but when i'm talking abt it either with someone or just like. talking out loud to myself lol it's easier#so lately i've been thinking what if i just recorded myself talking abt it and then posted that#rather than continue struggling to write it all out#idk i feel like videos are less accessible than written posts but maybe not#i could include visual aids!#and i could prolly write up a transcript as well#i'd have notes at least#anyway lmk if any of you have thoughts#bc i sure as hell do and i want to share them but i have adhd and it is Hard#personal#connecting the dots
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ok sorry for being a hater yesterday. I started reading some Ursula k le Guin essays and i have positive emotions again. i love her.
#sometimes I'm like I should engage Deeper with the things I read but then I'm like who likes a book report#I think about most books I read again and sometimes I don't think about them#The one I've thought about the Most Is this work book sacred ground about American battlefields lolol#Idk I think you could spend years on every single book and there's always more#I wrote this paper on Charles hirschkinds the feeling of history#And I keep thinking about it like#I took the easy option for writing the paper#And I think i was wrong to#I keep thinking back on the other question#Then again that question guided my next paper and so on and so forth#Oh my how do I miss school so badly already it's been almost exactly two months#I just don't THINK like that on my own#No matter how. Much I'm reading#Or even the stuff I write/present for work#Cuz it's all for the PUBLIX#what I really want to do at work is like. Talk about theories of the secular wrt to a battlefield defined by the NPS as sacred ground#and how that relates to the Def of sacred in like... Nagpra#and then like... also the relationship of this site to civil religion. And also representations of manifest destiny.#Etc.
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mourning a romance im dreaming of having
#romance is so fucking whack man#like ive spent a fukcing. WHILE. questioning my sexuality#i am purposely NOT looking over to gender#becuase i knwo if i started questioning that shit#itd take minimum like. 10 years and i do not want to go through that again.#but like romance is like#right now i have such an indifference to it in practice right#it just seems like too much work to find a couple#and for what#its so pointless to me right now#but in theory#i want that. i want to feel so strongly towars someone in a romantic way#its weird. its like#i WANT to want a couple#i wish something in me wanted to find romantic love as much as my peers#and its sending me into another questioning spiral#like. you say you like guys and girls but then you have other bi friends#and they are so active on the dating scene#like. one of my friends shows me this goth girl (really hot ngl) he matched with#and tells me he doesnt know what to talk with her about.#and im like just get to know her right? and if you dont have anything in common you can just. stop talking to her.#like logical right?? if the person and you dont share common ground why keep talking#and hes like. nah you dont understand#woman pretty#i need to talk to her. woman pretty#you wouldmnt understand becuase you-#and clearly cut himself off because the assumption is i would understand bc what#im not really attracted to girls if i dont talk to someone i have nothing in common with??#like these guys are my close friends#no hate to them honest but it felt shit
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I had this revelation while waiting for my train to work
If theres no such thing as thought crime, theres also no such thing as thought benevolence.
If you can't be persecuted for actions not taken from the privacy of your own head, you also can't be rewarded for it. What really matters is what you DO, regardless of how "good" or "bad" your thought patterns are.
You can read all the theory you want and argue on twitter all day, but if you don't actually do anything, you're not doing anything. Someone who buys a muffin at a local fundraiser bakesale does more for directly positive community action than someone who has all the "correct opinions" about political topics while refusing to even vote. An establishment democrat who kicks 20 bucks to a queer youth charity does more for positive community action than a communist who won't do anything that doesn't directly lead to some fantasy revolution
You can't replace action with thought. Yes you've read all of Marx and talk a lot, but do you actually like, DO anything?
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anyway, if the dlc doesnt include more information on the time traveled pokemon and what their existence means in terms of pokemon evolution as a whole, i’m gonna be upset
#i say anyway as though i'm not asking for more discussion on this topic (i am)#(i am asking for all the discussion i love this shit)#i've been theorizing for many years that pokemon exist in a world where darwinian evolution is a thing#like pokemon of the same species separated on different continents will change overtime to be unique from each other#and yes we got some hints of this with Alolan pokemon#but i think the existence of paradox pokemon really drives it home that this is the case for pokemon#OH MY GOD the pokemon Arceus created were entirely different from the pokemon we see today#how far back does it go? how much do the evolutions change?#scream tail doesn't evolve--what does that mean about wigglytuff?#or does its existence in modern times change its ability to evolve?#perhaps there were conditions in the distant past that would allow scream tail to evolve into its form of wigglytuff#perhaps not! perhaps overtime as scream tail became what we now know as jigglypuff#it adapted to its surroundings by developing an evolution which would help it#OK NO BUT WAIT.#[aliens guy meme] Extinction theory#a meteor YES ACTUALLY THIS WORKS--A METEOR LANDED ON POKE-EARTH DEVESTATING THE ECOSYSTEM#The meteor was made of or at least contained moonstone which transformed the scream tail descendants into wigglytuff#and they survived because of the stat buffs the evolution gave them!!#but did every pokemon make it? are their ancient pokemon that used to exist and were wiped out ??#sorry i should go to bed but aaaaaaaaaaa i want to talk about this!!!
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pairing: bf!peter x reader
synopsis: peter likes having you close to him. all the time
wc: 630 ish
a/n: surprise! another one oops. im rlly bored can u tell? cuddling prompt with peter. reader is a cheeky and annoying lil shit. one office reference. i saw a tiktok about this a long time ago and thought this would be a cute idea to write about. also does anyone know how cuddling works tho?? if ur laying on ur side, do u just lay on top of the arm ur crushing on? under a pillow? idk lol. anyways i hope u like :D
there's an ache settling in your right side that wakes you up from your sweet slumber. your head lays atop peter’s soft chest, his steady heartbeat against your ears. it was what lulled you to sleep in the first place. but with peter’s body practically being your own personal heater, the warm air filling the room, and the prominent soreness resting on your side, you began to feel uncomfortable.
“pete,” you whisper.
peter is entirely unfazed. his hold on you is strong. his face is towards you, mouth slightly ajar, letting out the softest of snores and drool out the corner of his mouth. although you love your cuddles with peter, you think he could actually suffocate you in your sleep. the boy loved to sleep, especially on top of you.
your limbs are tangled together. your left leg slung around his waist, arms around his torso, while his buff arms embrace your shoulders protectively.
ever so slightly, you begin to move your leg, retreating it back to your side as you push against his body and establish a more comfortable position. you snuggle further into peter as sleep wins you over once again.
it only lasts for a second when you wake from your boyfriend’s murmurs, he seems to talk in his sleep when he whispers your name. he huffs loudly and smacks his lips a couple of times with his brows furrowed. you feel his warm hand reach for the back of your knee to bring it over his crotch.
a confused look paints your face as you gaze up toward him. he’s asleep as dead. did he really just do that? you almost laugh out loud. his quirky behavior never fails to amuse you and has your stomach going in flips. he just wants you close to him. :(
but you think you’re funny, so you test out that theory one more time, this time blatantly stripping your leg away from him.
this gets a reaction out of peter. he seems to wake when he gusts an impatient breath, “no” and grabs your knee again, forcefully holding it against him.
in disbelief, you’re unable to contain your burst of laughter as you hold yourself up with one arm and stare at him wide-eyed, “what is wrong with you?”
“ph’shhh” peter knits his brows together, his eyes shut tight with a cute pout, as he blindly brings a hand to your face and gently shoves your head back against your pillow.
“peter-” “shut up.” he feels you lick the palm of his hand, “yuck,” but he doesn’t care to move it away from you. it’s only when you swat his hand away and settle back down against him to give him peace of mind. only for a moment, though. you have fun annoying peter, almost like a hobby. he’s halfway asleep when he feels you aggressively snatch your leg away from his hold.
“y/n!” peter groans, “stop it.” this time, your boyfriend pushes you on top of him, your entire body weight lays over his while he keeps a tight grasp on you, making sure to keep your leg over his waist and your head upon his chest.
his irritation riles you up, and you’re giggling through it all.
peter’s not having it though, not at all. he heaves another deep breath through his mouth, with the same grumpy look on his face, “why are you the way you are?”
you gasp, “me?!” “yes, you.”
not done yet, you flick his forehead, “you know, you’re so annoying sometimes, pete.”
he scoffs, “oh yea?”
“yea. a total pain in the-”
peter shoves his hand against your face and into his chest one last time, “ass.”
you decided you’ve had your fun but you’re too delighted to go back to sleep. too delighted to know that the boy you love and cherish always wants to be impossibly close to you all the time, conscious or not.
#m's clubhouse! 🎧#m writes ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･#this was fun writing#enjoy#peter parker#peter parker x y/n#mcu!peter x reader#peter parker fluff#peter parker imagine#tom!peter parker x reader#tom!spiderman#peter parker x reader#peter x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker fanfiction#spiderman#spider-man#spiderman x reader#peter parker smut#peter parker blurb#peter parker oneshot#peter parker fic#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland smut#tom holland peter parker#peter parker angst#peter parker writing#college peter parker
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Be louder for me
Genre: Smut
Content: 18+ Minors dni
Word Count: 1714
Summary: During a late night at the studio, things get heated, will the rest of the members find out.
A/N: I read through it but there could be a couple of things I missed
Afab!reader, Profanity, Pet names, Raw Sex, Public sex, Cunnilingus
It was late, you were starting to doze off. You were hoping that Chan meant it when he said five minutes. He had already told both Han and Changbin to go back to the dorm, it was extremely late. Even for them. “Channie how much longer” You whined failing to hold your head in your hands. He had practiced his part of the song so many times you couldn’t keep track. “Alright… I’m ready to record now” he nodded with a smile. “How long is that gonna take” You groaned pushing the red button to connect you to the sound booth. “About ten minutes… then we can go home” “Promise?” “No” “Ugh” You placed your head on the table trying to gather the strength. “Okay to record press the green button on the board”.You lifted your head looking at the board in front of you. What Chris failed to mention was just how many green buttons there were on this board. “This one?” “No the one on the top” “This one?” “To the left” “This one?” “Okay down one” “This one?” “Yup that's the one baby” He smiled sending you a thumbs up. How could you stay mad at him, he was just so cute.
“Cut” You pressed the blue button to stop the recording. “Scrap it” he waved off, running his hands over his face. You turned to the computer, taking the clip he just recorded and deleting it. He was frustrated, and rightfully so, this just wasn’t working the way he wanted it to. It was nothing you were doing, but him. He couldn’t hit the note like he thought he could. He was coming in too late and cutting off too early. “Honey you’re tired we should get you to bed” You yawned taking a sip of the energy drink you were sharing with Chan. It wasn’t doing its job, because with every sip you were feeling more and more tired. “I know” he groaned throwing his head back” “Let me try one more time” He groaned rubbing his face awake. You pressed the record button then pressed the voice button. “You want more monster?” “Yeah let me see if it’ll work” You nodded, grabbing the can and walking over to the booth. You opened the door and handed it to Chan. He reached, but not for the beverage. He took your wrist pulling you closer. Planting a kiss on your lips. “Chris” You gasped, you almost dropped the drink. The last time someone spilled anything in the booth you didn’t hear the end of it from-. “Let's put this down… before we get yelled at by Seungmin again” He whispered, taking the can from your hand and placing it on the side table that was in the booth. He turned back to you, placing a hand on your waist and pushing you against the wall. His plush lips placing butterfly kisses on your jawline, and down to your neck.
“Chris… what if someone hears us” “It’s soundproof baby… we could be as loud as we want” He smirked kneeling in front of you. Maybe it was the tiredness talking but you really wanted to test that theory. “What if someone see’s us” “Its four in the morning honey… who in their right minds is going to be here at this time” He was right. You really couldn’t be as loud as you wanted to in your daily lives. No with the boys constantly at the dorm, and your elderly neighbors complaining about everything you did back in your apartment. He pulled both your sweatpants and underwear down slowly. Taking them completely off and helping your leg onto his shoulder. Oh were you excited for him to hear just how good he made you feel. He kissed up your thigh closer and closer to you sopping pussy. How could you not be horny. Producer Chan was your weakness. You loved the way he spoke when he was in producer mode. So professional, so concentrated, so hot. He placed a single kiss on your clit before he began to suck and swirl his tongue around it.
“Oh my-” You moaned, grabbing his hair. Hearing your filthy moans turning him on quicker than anything. He’s been wanting to hear you so badly lately, already getting a little taste after one evening that he got the dorm for himself. He wanted more, he needed more. "That noise...keep making it." He encouraged bringing his fingers to your entrance not wasting any time to sink them into you. “Oh fuck” You moaned loudly throwing your head back against the soundproof wall. “Fuck CHRIS”. You only ever called him Chris on two separate occasions one, when you were angry with him or wanted him to understand how serious you were about a situation. Two, when you both were having sex and he was making you feel really good. You call him Chan and Channie, all day it wasn’t anything special anymore. Someone could say it could be confusing for him when you do it, but it wasn’t because it was all in the way you said it. One way you would say it in a stern serious voice in the other- “Chris” You moaned loudly tightening around his fingers as you felt that all so familiar feeling in your lower stomach.
“You gonna cum baby? You want to cum on daddy’s face?” He groaned roughly on your pussy, you bit you lip and nodded, he couldn’t see you. Not with his head buried into your heat, oh but he knew you. “Use your words my pretty girl” “Yes” You moaned out loudly tugging on his hair to keep him there in between you legs, but really he had no intention of moving. “Yes what… you wanna cum on daddy’s face and fingers” “Yes yes” You whined nodding you head. “Then cum for me… cum for me baby” He says, speeding up the rate in which his fingers dove in and out of your pussy, his tongue swirling around and sucking on your clit faster as well. You moaned loudly arching your back off the wall. Not a second later your were cumming on his fingers and face. “FUCK CHRIS” You scream feeling your legs shake subtly, threatening to give in right undereath you. Chris toke note of this and stood up quickly pulling down his pants and boxers. He pulled you closer and grabbed you by your hips picking you up.
You wrapped your legs around him and kissed his plump lips. “So wet for me baby” He whispered against your lips causing chills to run down your spine. You gasped feeling the tip of his hard cock rub against your clit and entrance. “You ready for me baby?” He whispered against your lips looking into your eyes hungrily. You bit your lip and nodded. “Yes” You whispered looking down. “Good girl” He smirked pushing into you, your mouth dropped open and you threw your head back giving him the opportunity to kiss your neck, and he took it. Placing messy kisses on your neck as you stretched around him. He held you still knowing you needed some time to adjust to him. You always did. You bite your lip out of habit. He shook his head looking at you. “No baby, don’t bite your pretty lips, I want to hear you, wanna hear how good I’m making you feel”
“Chris” You breathe out moving your hips against him. He knew you were ready, so he pulled out slowly and slid back in. “Fuckkkkkkk” He groans his eyes rolling back in pleasure. “You feel so good around me baby. So tight baby”.
You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer. “Fuck Chris feels so good… s-so big” You cry out kissing his neck sucking his soft supple skin. “Marking me baby… want everyone know i’m yours” Chan grunts picking up the pace slamming into you. “Yes” “Yes what baby” “Yes… youre mine” “I’m yours baby… and your mine… my pretty girl” He whispers his fingers digging into your hips as he fucks into you faster and harder, surely leaving marks to remind you of your sinful actions tomorrow.
“Ah oh my God CHRIS” You scream tightening around his cock. He groans leaning his head back. “Fuck princess you gonna cum… you gonna cum for daddy” “Yes” “Cum baby… cum around daddy’s fat cock” “Chris FUCK!”
Han sighed a smile on his face, for the first time in a while he slept really well, and all thanks to Chan releasing him early. As soon as he got back to the dorm he skipped his nighttime routine immediately laying in bed. The second his head hit the pillow he knocked out. He was definitely well-rested. Changbin walked in behind him with two coffees in hand. It was just going to be them too for now. Chan asked them to come in an hour before so they could go over the vocals and see if there was anything that needed adjusting. “Bin look at this” Jisung laughed seeing the length of the audio recorded last night. “He always does that… he always forgets to cut it off” Changbin laughed sitting down next to him. “Let's get just his part and cut the rest yeah?” Han nodded pushing the play button” “Ahh oh my God CHRIS” They both turned to look at each other in shock, it couldn’t be. Oh but it was, an audio recording of the two of you having sex. Having sex in the booth everyone had to use. “Gross” Changbin immediately paused it
“Dude” Han sighed running his hand over his face. “I know were gonna have to move studios again” “Not that… he didn’t record his part… he’s not coming in till later, we’re going to be behind” “That's what your worried about” “Yes… I don’t want to stay late… I value my sleep thank you very much”
#skz fanfic#skz scenarios#skz x you#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz fake texts#stray kids texts#bang chan#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader
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