Wylan: It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what that switch does, so I went down to the stadhall and I got these. All I had to do was pay 25 kruge and wait in line for 3 hours
Jesper, sarcastically: Wow! If only more people knew
Matthias: Everyone relax, he's lying. He doesn't have any poison.
Wylan: No, I don't have any on me. But I do keep some in the fridge back at the Mansion in the relish jar.
Jesper: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skulls and crossbones?
Wylan: Well, that's mayonnaise. That's a decoy.
Jesper: And the Mayo?
Wylan: That's shampoo
Jesper: You're telling me I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?!
Wylan: If you're using the mayonnaise, yeah... probably
It is my firm belief that one of the most important parallels in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom is that Wylan Van Eck had the potential to become Kaz Brekker, and Kaz Brekker had the potential to become Wylan Van Eck, in this essay I will -
wylan: *looks up* "omg mistletoe! did you know mistletoe is actually a parasite? they grow in big bunches up in trees and slowly suck all the nutrients out of their hosts :)"
Jesper, after Wylan doesn’t laugh at one of his joke: Sometimes I think, "Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?"