#well that would be today wouldn't it
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like we were so fucking robbed of seeing perez in the wake of saw vs events I want to see her getting out of the hospital and flipping tables and pointing a gun in ericksons face after being told that strahm is the lead suspect. I want to see her having a breakdown after strahms fingerprints come back dead. I want to see her hand twitching over her gun everytime she sees hoffman. I want to see her fucking losing it and desperate to avenge her friend and partner and to clear his name. I want to see the thought process that lead to her inviting known serial killer mark hoffman to the basement lab just so she could torture him psychologically before she had a legitimate excuse to shoot him. I want to see more of her and I want to see how strahms death impacted her the way the reverse impacted him.
#lindsey perez lindsey perezzzzz#we did not see nearly enough of her#she was so overshadowed by strahm in iv and then didnt even get to be a main character in vi#she showed up. psychologically tortured hoffman. and then she died (again).#realistically she's way better at hiding her insanity so I think she wouldn't lose it nearly as bad as strahm did#but I want just one little moment where she's on her own and she fucking loses it#forced to let your boss tell your best friend you're dead. he goes missing. is declared a suspect. turns up dead. no body to bury#more of her pov on these events please. please. please.#it would be so sanity inducing cause she KNEW it was hoffman. her last words to strahm was hoffmans name#and she knew him so well.... she must've known strahm went after him in the wake of her 'death'. the fucking guilt she must have felt#espeon cries#saw#i am so so sick in the head about her today
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BITCH 😭😭😭
#jossgawin#fluke gawin#joss wayar#thai actors#gmmtv#2023#byofftay#JOSSGAWIN HAVE FED ME WELL TODAY WHAT THE HELL 😭#first of all I love having the confirmation that they speak english when they're alone#their english is soooooo hot 🥵#SECOND OF ALL!!! joss being like 'wouldn't it be cute' YESSIR IT WOULD#THIRD OF ALLLLLL!!! their laughter and smiles after fluke eats the meat anyway 😭😭😭
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"They found each other in the wreckage of optimism, and it took them a decade to decide that hope was not enough to save the Golden Branch from itself. It was in a library, not an armoury, where the Apostolosian became the sword and shield of Integrity, a Divine who’d lost its Candidate.
Some climb into their Divines, others deploy them across the battlefield, or fight under the blanket of their shadows. But Integrity demands intimacy. It digs into the flesh of the willing, all metal and promises and penetralia, desperate to create an unbreakable unity. It is afraid, and wounded, and it cannot know the power it gives without seeing it first in the reflection of a Candidate's eyes: the loft, the velocity, the violence. And for the first time in centuries, Integrity doesn’t fear its Candidate. It moves with confidence, in muscle and ambition. It believes in Sokrates Nikon Artemisios."
(COUNTER/Weight 22: A Broken Branch)
Great episode to get to after recent palisade happenings. I obviously remember the "Integrity demands intimacy" but there's so much other great stuff here.... "They found each other in the wreckage of optimism" is just incredible.
Edit: Noting the wording of " [...] the Apostolosian became the sword and shield of Integrity" because Integrity literally is both those things - they are the armor Sokrates wears and the weapon they wield - but it positions them here both as a protector of Integrity and someone Integrity acts through (divines & candidates!).
And I love that this gives Integrity pre-Sokrates interiority I had honestly completely forgotten about. "For the first time in centuries, Integrity doesn't fear it's candidate" A divine afraid(!) of what it can do together with it's candidate, the power it gives. And then what Austin describes in pal29 comes to mind, which is like, "if there was a time when Integrity was like, you know, 'Finally someone has come to help me get out of this situation.' That is not what's happening here." It's interesting because that phrasing of if not the current but a past state("that time has come and gone ")... it still sounds like fear a little bit. And that obviously isn't the case anymore (I don't feel like typing out this Austin quote but he said something about the notion of immortality & change that made me real happy. I love that shit) & I'm curious to learn more about this hopefully.
I love Integrity & while I don't think of it as "the good one", it's fate is important to me because is still one of the sickest divines (which is really saying a lot with like, Perennial and Motion et al. around).
#Integrity is in the description for todays ep & I'm not sure if that's because they're just mentioned like hey btw. or actually relevant#But I shall find out. After I finish this faction game that is#counterweightposting#Palisadeposting#Palisade spoilers#I couldn't fit it in up there but more than everything else 'It is afraid and wounded' made me think of pal29. Likeeee#Also I was like Austin come on give people some credit when he said that bit abt integrity fans going but that's the good one#But 1) likely something he's actually seen? and 2) I can't lie I would like it to be on MBs side. This is my wouldn't that be sick? part.#But ultimately I want whatever happens to to be interesting. And there's things that aren't interesting to me and some of those -#- even fall under 'on MBs side' so like. WELL I'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.#I could elaborate on what's not interesting to me but it's a little. What if I jinx it. (not real) (I'm being extremely silly)#Those tags could've been it's own post tbh but I don't want to type it all out again.
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re: pokemans
o wait holdd on dfrifrij
WISHIWASHI YAKUMO 🤣😭😭
nah but for real may i offer u some creatures that are just. assigned. i do not imagine them as anything else anymore
(girafarig yakumo, rockruff garu, hisuian zoroark kuya)
#i didn't want to take the easy way out and give yakumo a snake based pokemon.... but i mean... if the vibe fit i wouldn't complain#unfortunately. the vibe did NOT fit.#seviper? no. arbok? nope. serperior?? do i see ANY part of yakumo that acts as smug as snivy looks? Naaaaaahhhhhhhh#WELL!!! UNTIL THERE IS A MORE FITTING SNAKE POKEMON. girafarig.#cue me scrolling down the entire pokedex staring at the tiny sprites trying to get a read on who would fit which clan member#i ended up collecting a lot of POSSIBILITIES but after a while i wasn't sure if they were more suited to BEING the character...#vs being OWNED by the character#for example. with blade. i just started putting all the little weirdos under his jurisdiction. WAILORD. LUVDISC. ALOLA EXEGGUTOR. CHARJABUG#ok maybe blade wouldn't be inkay but tell me he wouldn't absolutely love it and call it cute#i even found new pokemon . unknown to me. . but they seemed cool? so why not put em on the list#i gotta say i'm a lil upsetti that i couldn't find an appropriate vessel for aster. the closest i could get was meowth/persian#and that just feels. cheap. pardon the wording#drawing these guys catapulted me back in time to when i was 4 years old#p sure pokemon was one of the first things that got me to draw?#wow and here we r today#may just. draw more pokemans later. kimda wanna see altaria rei#pokemon crossover#yakumo#garu#kuya
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.
#robin processes emotions on main#would it be evil to stay home from family thanksgiving because I don't think I can do all my homework if I go. would it be selfish#it probably would be selfish#I'm just feeling overwhelmed tonight because I remembered All Of The Homework due on Tuesday next week and I was planning#to do most of that homework today but there's more than I thought and I also chose to do a thanksgiving dinner and online games#with the uncle who also stayed home from family thanksgiving this year. and it was fantastic and I wouldn't trade that for the world#but it was last minute and I'm SO OVERWHELMED NOW 😭#and I just DROPPED THE PIZZA SAUCE from the pizza he bought me and it was just the last straw folks. now there's pizza sauce#on the floor and tears in my eyes and my throat hurts. and I'm aware this whole upset is selfish but STILL#still#wellllll anyway sorry#big sniff#I'm fine and everything will be fine this is just a lose/lose situation#also I'm not feeling well physically and driving four hours tomorrow for a stressful event sounds really sucky :(#four hours round trip for like six hours in person
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do you have any rudy hcs lying around? asking for a friend 👀
Hey, there! Yeah, I was able to come up with some!
Rodolfo HCs
He actually prefers men over women. He will still date women, he has had crushes on them, after all, but he more often than not dreams about being with another man. This has caused him some distress in the past. Considering he realized he liked men very early on, he thought he was gay back then. However, later on he developed a crush on a girl and so he thought he was straight after all. The realization that he might be straight broke his heart because he really wanted to be into men back then. Yes, he was unaware that you can like more than one gender, so he felt bad when he had that crush on that girl. It took him another few years until he realized he could be bisexual. He met another guy who was quite the flirt, having flirted with men and women alike. Rodolfo didn’t mind that, but did question that guy about it. Once he had the answer of simple bisexuality, it clicked and he felt absolutely stupid for not having realized it sooner. To this day he’s friends with that person and sometimes still meets up with him.
Although he’s severely touch starved, he’d rather die than admit to that. No amount of touch could ever satisfy him. Besides, he believes that, just because he’s a man, he shouldn’t really be held in a comforting way, especially not by a woman. He’s a strong, protective guy, he has to be the one doing the protecting, and that includes doing the holding during cuddling as well. Sometimes he might be a bit grumpy because he just really wants to be held, especially when his stress levels are at an all time high. However, he can’t really swallow his pride and outright ask for it either, his partner would have to be the one to come up to him and make the suggestion. Fairly early on, he might refuse such advances from a female partner, but once he knows she won’t think any less of him for that, he’s more willing. If his partner is a man, however, then he’d be honored. Rodolfo genuinely believes that every man out there believes the same thing that he does in that regard, so he can appreciate a guy “willing to swallow his pride”. He doesn’t outright ask for cuddles, he will only hint at the fact he wants some with him. He could literally have a sleepless night, with being held being the only remedy out there, and he’d still not ask for any.
He’s not at all an outgoing person anymore. He used to be when he was a child, making friends left and right with just about any kid he ever found, but he outgrew that phase. No one knows why, not even he does, but he sometimes does miss being a people person, it would make some things a lot easier. However, he does have Alejandro in his life, who is an outgoing person that knows lots and lots of people. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything he doesn’t need to look for too long, Alejandro is usually right there. The two go way back with each other, having known one another for almost 20 years now. Whenever Rodolfo needs anything, Alejandro is the first person to know since he knows he can count on him. Although he usually asks Alejandro for someone who might be doing this specific thing or knows how to do it well, it’s usually Alejandro who helps Rodolfo regardless. Those two have grown very close with each other and can tell what the other needs without them even saying anything. Rodolfo does truly appreciate Alejandro for that, he’s never had a better friend than him. When Rodolfo moved, all Alejandro asked for was some beer and watching some movies together. Rodolfo would literally and figuratively die for Alejandro, but the latter usually tells him there’s no need for that. He’d much rather have Rodolfo take a break.
#cod#rodolfo parra#apparently this was exactly 666 words long#poor Rodolfo that was unintentional. I love him though#I hope these are alright. You didn't specify what kind they should be so I just went with whatever came to mind#y'all don't know how hard it sometimes is to come up with miscellaneous HCs for a character#it's a nice break from writing something for this and that kind of reader though#Rodolfo is such a sweetheart though it's hard to not like him#he really grew on me ever since I started writing. I didn't really care too much for him in the beginning#but that's the beauty of writing: It makes you consider characters you otherwise wouldn't really think about#nothing much to report today. except I've been watching cod cold war#I saw a post that compared Adler to America from Hetalia and it was so funny to me#so naturally I started watching the game because I was intrigued. I need to know who Mr America in CoD is#fascinating fella so far. I would study him like a bug under a microscope#however I feel as though he'd notice and put me in a situation. the way a scientist always puts a rat in a situation#not a very nice man but oh well. I'm curious to see where it's all going
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dance macabre
let us have this dance of macabre!
strums of lullaby accompany our steps
spectators of all kinds eagerly waiting in silence
people of all race, of all ages
humans and fae alike, mingling into one
isn't this what you always long for, my dearest?
rub away your tears, if you would
look above, my dear!
look how the ceilings crumbled,
forging a path upon the starry skies
under the sea of stars shall we waltz with grace
one step forward, two steps back
a tango everyone desires
now then, don your brightest smiles!
as we are the prima donna of this palace
knightly boots replacing glass slippers
briars and thorns, prettier than roses
mere infatuations and lust desist,
only loyalty alone shall exist
hush now, dear
do not loathe me amidst parada
cease your sadness at once
bury your soul deep within one’s eyes
never let those speckles of aurora
be tarnished by the mere sight of carcass
for I have bestowed you the honor
of taking my hand for this dance
moving in front ochos,
I whisper to you eternal happiness
a promise that’ll never go unkept
holier than the eternal slumber
oh, if only the crowd would cheer!
rather than rotting beneath our feet
but fret not, my dear
as we have a long night ahead of us!
#tw // disturbing themes#malleus x silver#mallesil#malleus draconia#silver vanrouge#ths is basically the bad ending of book 7#where despite everyone's efforts they r unable to stop his overblot#leading him to exhaust his magic till none is left#what happens when the caster's magic is depleted#what'll happen to those falling victims of his um#no one knows#but here i hc them slowly rotting & decaying#stuck in samsara of dreams; their consciousness slowly slipping away as death seeps in#as his magical reserve are getting thinner his time-stopping barrier would fade as well#and mother nature will took over the bodies; decomposing it w/ no mercy#w/ the last bit of his magic; malleus used it to wake silver for one final dance#and voila! here we are#no; there'll be no magic saving us this time#malleus is lying yall theres no 'long night' they'll die approximately after twilight lololol#sorry not sorry#his magic just wouldn't last for both of them any longer#as for how much time had been spent before that? i leave it to ur thoughts :>#'why the cinderella reference diasomnia is based on sleeping beauty' hv u considered tht perhaps the author loves cendrillon#no the author certainly did not research on tango steps & watching how to tango tutorials wdym#miè writes ✍️#miè's poems#one more thing!!#unlike the prev ones- this one was actually made today!!#so enjoy while it's still fresh!! fresh outta the oven!! >:D#....ths is the last one for today i promise
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Part 2 of my AINI doodles since starting the game!
#aitsf#aini#iris sagan#amame doi#kaname date#kuruto ryuki#ota matsushita#shoma enda#lien twining#andes komeji#my art#my greatest accomplishment might be getting a furry design for komeji that fits him well while keeping the spirit of the design#not an easy feat#anyways not much to say didn't get to play yesterday#but hopefully today well make some progress#cannot believe ryuki is actually in love with date#like i dont even think i ship it? like i think it would be a bad relationship but i think it is compelling narratively so far#ryuki is kind of obsessed (and like it makes sense date was someone to admire who seemed to care about ryuki on a deeper level)#and like post explosion thats like a level a trauma i cannot comprehend#idk tho date seems like he wouldn't be committal to that he likes validation though LOL#but hey im like halfway thru the game who knows where this will go#all of this to say i drew them over the supernatural image because that's what the end of explosion ending felt like
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getting increasingly annoyed about instructor saying I shouldn't compete in sparring
#it's so frustrating!! to go to a competition do a pattern and then sit there for 6 hours while everyone else does things#and like#it would be maybe okay if he gave me like a threshold of some kind#like ok in this much time or when you have done/are able to do X or when you are at X belt or whatever#just something! you know?#ntch#m#whining#tbc I still suck I would absolutely get wrecked#well today I would've been against a friend from our own school if I'd taken part and he probably wouldn't kill me but generally#he's brilliant and still went through it lol so I would probably be pretty fucked#however I still want to.#I mean I'd do badly but I don't actually think the risk of being like. maimed. is as high as instructor seems to think#and like there is another guy would fare similarly to me so it's very bullshit that I get treated differently imo#I think my bones are fine. probably.#I lift a lot I've been on T for almost 2 years I think it is fine.#a year ago I understood but the more time passes the more it becomes unfair
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It's babygurl's b'day 💞💞✨✨🎉🎉
#twisted wonderland#AAAAAA BOTH HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT AND BLOOM BROOM CAME HOME TO ME TODAY <333 I'M SO HAPPYYY!!!#AZUL I LOOOVVVVVEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUU 💞💞💞🥺🥺🥺 YOU TRULY ARE THE MOST TAKO BENEVOLENT OF ALL#NOW I HAVE ALL OF HIS BIRTHDAY CARDS (minus the platinum jacket cause I'm on EN server)#BUT OH MY GODDD HIS MAKEUP ON PLATINUM JACKET???? Beautiful. breathtaking. absolutely stunning. we shall be wed today#look at me. switching oshi from Jade to Azul#well maybe if the said certain eel would come home i wouldn't be so easily swept off of my feet by our generous tako 😤😤😤#anyway. i've risen just for this#arm is hurting but that's okay because anything for my be(loathed)loved babygurl 😌😌😌#twisted wonderland fanart#azul ashengrotto#kheyy's art
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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Laios wouldn't judge me or make me feel bad for being excited about things I enjoy.
#victor beeps#sometimes i feel guilty for being happy#i hate feeling like too much all the time#i always feel too weird for my best friend. i could tell i was annoying her tonight but switching topics so much#and when i got in i was infodumpping to my mom about resident evil and she just waved me off#we were watching that ''welcome to raccoon city'' movie and it made very grumpy#NOT the topic for today but i do NOT like that movie#just. i wouldn't get rid of my autism for anything it's a part of me and makes me *Me*#but it is still a disability and makes a lot of things hard for me and makes me feel Not So Great sometimes#i love my best friend and gc friends so much but i still feel like i can't be 100% myself around them#but laios would finally be that person!#he'd *get* me. we'd just get each other so well#he wouldn't get annoyed when i spoke really fast and bounced around on topics#he wouldn't wave me off or just want me to shut up#i think i'd finally feel truly loved and accepted and wanted#i didn't expect laios to remind me so much of myself!#to everyone else he's weird and off-putting and annoying#and i am too#but to each other we're so wonderful and perfect#we could be in love with each other in peace without ever worrying that we're too much for the other
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head against wall head against wall head against wall
#he's too young for this! she's too young for this!#they're all too young for this!! and too old for this! and too sick for this!#everyone is too everything for this! too anything for this!!#nobody should be going through this like what the fuck! what the fuck!!!#had an encounter today at work where someone finally asked me about the flag on my lanyard#and I thought we were getting somewhere but then she said something to the nature of#‘yeah idk :/ I just don't think people who aren't directly involved should be making judgements about it’#‘ 'cause we don't know all the context’#like sure! there is context! there is certainly more context! but it is definitely not the context you are imagining!#and even if that WEREN'T the context even if there WERE no history to any of this#even if the attack 3.5 months ago (3.5 months! 3.5!! what the absolute fuck!) were completely irrational and unprovoked#it still wouldn't justify this#nothing would justify this#like what more information are you hoping to find to make any of this okay?#what would you have to hear to make anything that's happening right now justified?#what could anyone have possibly done EVER in the history of ANYTHING to justify this??#nothing! absolutely nothing!! there is no extra context there is no secret information that suddenly makes this okay!!#‘well I'm sure they have a reason for it’ what the hell is wrong with you!!! 3.5 months of this!! what fucking reason!!#what reason could ever ever justify this!!!#ugh anyway I completely froze trying not to lose my top right there in the delivery room#and it's like. far from the worst anyone's said#but seriously...we're american we're LITERALLY funding this#how can you say we're not involved#how can you pretend this has nothing to do with us#anyways all that said I hope I do have a chance to talk to her again about this before she leaves#even if it's the tiniest seed of doubt about the propaganda she's been fed it's more than she came in with#...so yeah in the interest of diverting away from useless maladaptive tendencies here is a useless vent post instead#now back to work and esims#btw if you read this far 1) why 2) show me an esim/donation receipt and I'll doodle something for you as soon as I get the time#(probably only stuff I'm familiar with I don't think I'll realistically be able to do much beyond that rn but it's a genuine offer fwiw)
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