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peterrefur · 11 months

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Cracked teacup ⅏ Wilbur Soot x Reader

Summary: Y/N have eating disorder, and she try so hard to fight but not all days all good. Will see that and try help her every day. But one day she feels like she is a problem. That she is problem for Will and she try leave him but after really sad talk she understand that she is sick not broken. She is darling, not problem. Notes: Hey Mate!!! I’m Peter and I say right away that English is not my first language. I’m curious to hear your opinion about this work in the comments! Enjoy!

The story features: - Eating Disorders - Attempted self-harm

𝕋he door swung open, a warm, yellow light spilled into the room, casting a cozy ambiance that seemed to beckon people inside. Will sat comfortably in front of his desk, engrossed in conversation, when Y/N entered the room. She leaned in, her gaze sweeping over the man's computer monitor, hoping to catch a glimpse of the software he used for his work, but all she could see was Discord. Will chuckled and leaned back, his eyes closing as his laughter subsided. He let out a quiet yawn, stretching his body, a testament to the disrupted sleep schedule that working on the internet and enduring quarantine had imposed on them.

With his eyes still closed, Will continued to speak, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "But I'm absolutely certain that at the next MCC, we won't be teamed up together." Sensing Y/N's presence, he opened his eyes, noticing her standing there. "Y/N, is something wrong?"

"Y/N? Who's that?" one of the people in Will's Discord call chimed in with curiosity. "Do you have a girlfriend? Or is it a boyfriend?" he added playfully after receiving no immediate response.

"Tommy, let Wilbur answer. Mate, take your time," the oldest voice interjected, chuckling softly into the camera, while they observed Tommy crack open yet another can of Coke for the day.

"Y/N, do you want to talk to us?" Will asked, motioning for her to come closer. Y/N settled on the floor, resting on her knees next to Will's chair. "Hey, sit on my lap or go grab a chair. You shouldn't be sitting on the floor. I honestly can't remember the last time we vacuumed in here," he remarked, swiveling his chair to face her. Prompted by his suggestion, Y/N rose from the floor and perched herself on his lap. She positioned one earphone in her ear and was immediately greeted by two energetic voices and one subdued ‘bruh’.

"Y/N, are you Wilbur's girlfriend? I didn't know he had someone. He doesn't strike me as the boyfriend type," Tommy commented, taking a sip from his Coke.

"You, Tommy, seem like you never leave your room," she teased the boy, causing him to choke on his drink.

"WHAT! I don't leave my room! Look at this!" Tommy pushed his chair away from the desk, revealing his backpack adorned with symbols from The Legend of Zelda hanging on the door. He flung the door open abruptly and exited the room. Standing in the hallway, he shouted towards the microphone, "I'm leaving the room! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pee." He then made his way back to his computer, only to notice the muted microphone icon next to his webcam a moment later.

"So, Will has a girlfriend. Pog!" exclaimed the sleepiest voice in the conversation, the only person with their camera turned off.

"Seriously, I thought you were single, Will," remarked the blond man.

"Y/N and I are together," Will responded, turning his gaze toward the woman on his lap. "Since September last year, right?" He gently stroked her back as he sought confirmation.

"Yes, September," Y/N nodded, a warm smile directed at her boyfriend.

"Indeed, it was September. Just a few days before the new semester started, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend," Will recounted, prompting the sleepy voice to chime in.

"And what was her answer?" the voice queried.

"Is that sarcasm, Techno?" Will asked, looking directly into the camera.

"Me and sarcasm? Bruh, never," Techno replied, evoking a slight chuckle from Y/N.

"I replied with a 'yes,' but with the condition that I could use his computer for my university work," Y/N interjected, glancing at one of her open notebooks on the desk.

"And yes, She do use it, but I won't complain because she bought the RAM herself, so it's our computer," Will added, gesturing subtly.

"But truth be told, I didn't come here to interfere with your--" Y/N began to speak, but was swiftly interrupted by Will.

"You never interfere," he interjected, his words carrying a playful undertone.

"Perhaps," Y/N responded, stealing a quick glance at the monitor. "Do you want coffee?" she inquired, rising from Will's lap.

"Coffee no, but tea if I can." he replied, slipping the earphone back into place.

"Green or black?" she queried, opening the door and awaiting his preference, receiving a nonchalant shrug in response.

𝕃eaning her hips against the kitchen island, Y/N's gaze lingered on the kettle, its slow boil promising a comforting cup of tea for both her and Will. As she waited, her thoughts wandered to the fact that Will hadn't revealed their relationship to his friends. They had made a mutual decision to keep their love private, well-aware of Will's growing popularity and the scrutiny that came with it.

Being an online example of the "perfect boyfriend," they both wanted to shield their relationship from potentially uncomfortable comments or unsolicited opinions. Y/N understood the need for privacy but couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't mentioned her to his friends yet.

In the evenings, when she couldn't watch Will's streams directly, Y/N would often tune in on her phone, secretly observing him from the periphery of his online world.

She would wear her headphones, discreetly completing chores around the house while listening to his voice and enjoying the sense of connection. Occasionally, she would even bring him a drink or a snack, making sure to stay out of the camera's frame. It was her way of showing support and being there for him, even if he was unaware of her presence.

𝕋urning her attention back to the task at hand, Y/N reached for the box of teas and selected two green tea bags. As she held them in her hand, a memory resurfaced—a previous evening when they had enjoyed the same tea after a delicious dinner. A smile tugged at her lips as she reminisced, "That dinner Will made for us on our last date was incredible... I regret eating so much... If I hadn't indulged, we might have had leftovers for the next day too..."

Placing a tea bag into each mug, Y/N turned once again and cast her gaze upon the shelf above her. "That dinner tasted reminiscent of the one we had at a fancy restaurant for New Year's. It had a similar flavor..." She opened the cabinet, revealing her reflection in the glass. Her thoughts drifted, "Thank goodness I've stopped overeating... I've actually lost weight, quite a bit. But I still have these big thighs..." She reached for the honey, contemplating her body image as she prepared the teaspoons.

Suddenly, the sound of the kettle clicking off jolted her from her reverie. She blinked, surprised by the abrupt interruption, and hurriedly prepared the cups of tea. Pouring the hot water over the tea bags, she couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't acknowledged the changes she had gone through. 'Why hasn't he said anything yet?" she silently questioned herself, a hint of sadness creeping into her thoughts. "After all, the differences are noticeable. I've lost weight. I'm thinner..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "Maybe he has noticed but just didn't mention it? It's Will, he's not the best at expressing things like that..."

Chuckling softly, she recalled the early stages of their relationship when Will struggled to reply to even the simplest text messages. Wiping away a stray tear, she decided to distract herself by delivering the freshly brewed teas to their shared space. She walked towards the bedroom door, opening it, and then retraced her steps back to the kitchen to retrieve the beverages.

"𝕐es! And then she looked at me with such a smile, you know, 'maybe we should go back now'. Oh! I'm just talking about our New Year's date," Will recounted with a wide grin, his voice filled with fondness, as Y/N entered the room. Seeing her, he quickly cleared some space on the desk to make room for the teas. Y/N couldn't help but admire his radiant smile and felt a surge of gratitude that this remarkable boy had chosen her. Being with someone like Will felt like a true blessing.

"Thank you, darling. Another half hour, and then we can go to bed," Will said, his eyes fixed on Y/N as she returned with the honey. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and she accepted it with a smile.

"Simp," teased Tommy's voice through the earphones, causing Will to turn towards the screen even though he couldn't see it.

He knew immediately that Tommy was the one who had made the comment.

Y/N interrupted the momentary silence, requesting to turn off the camera so she could change. Will nodded, and his webcam transformed into a rectangle with his icon at the center.

"Thank you," she expressed, taking a small sip of her tea. She then walked over to the wardrobe to retrieve a t-shirt and shorts. Despite being in the middle of a call, Will's attention was captivated by Y/N. He smiled as he watched her begin to undress, and for a brief moment, their eyes locked. Will moved his mouse and glanced at her once more.

"You look beautiful," he complimented, his smile revealing genuine admiration.

However, his expression suddenly shifted from joy to a perplexed grimace that was difficult to interpret. "Can you turn around for me?" he asked, gesturing in a circular motion with his finger. Y/N's heart fluttered at the thought that Will had finally noticed her weight loss. There was a reason she had chosen to change in the bedroom instead of the bathroom tonight.

𝔸fter two spins, she faced her boyfriend, searching his eyes for signs of approval or perhaps even excitement. But Will's demeanor had changed. His grimace had transformed into a neutral face with a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

"You're skinny," he commented, breaking the uneasy silence.

"Have you noticed? Yes, I know my thighs are still large, but look at my belly and arms. See how I've lost weight," she responded excitedly, turning around again and pointing out the different areas of her body. Yet, her enthusiasm seemed to fall flat in the face of Will's subdued reaction. His neutral expression remained, and his gaze held a sense of concern.

"Are you starving yourself?" Will asked directly, his question lacking any concern for its potential insensitivity. "What you're doing isn't healthy," he added, removing the earphone from his ear as if needing to detach himself from the conversation.

Y/N felt a surge of mixed emotions. "But I don't feel bad. I mean, I could still lose more weight, but for now, it's okay. I'm not starving myself, but I am consciously limiting my food intake," she explained, hoping to convey her perspective.

"So, you are starving yourself," he stated more confidently, rising from his chair. Y/N shook her head, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the discussion. Despite Will towering over her, she could feel his concerned gaze encompassing her. In a hurried attempt to shield herself, she swiftly put on her nightshirt.

Will's expression didn't reflect anger or disappointment; instead, it bore a profound sadness that tugged at Y/N's heart. His gaze was heavy with worry, and she could sense that he genuinely cared for her well-being.

"You hear yourself?" Standing up from his chair, Will's confidence grew as he confronted the situation head-on.

𝕎ill's concern for Y/N's well-being grew more pronounced as he continued to question her about her eating habits. He mentioned her previous episode of fainting, which she attributed to a lack of fresh air. However, as he probed further, asking about the last time she ate, Y/N's uncertainty became evident.

Y/N paused, her mind searching for an answer. "Yesterday... or before yesterday, I'm not sure," she finally responded, her voice betraying her uncertainty. She quickly added, "But it feels good. And I'm not starving myself, but I am limiting my food."

Will's confidence grew as he confronted the reality of the situation. he looked at her with a mix of concern and determination. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, Y/N shook her head, feeling a wave of emotions crashing over her.

Will's expression, however, didn't display anger or disappointment as she had anticipated. Instead, his gaze held an unmistakable sadness. It was clear that his emotions were deeply rooted in his genuine care for her.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she reached out, her vulnerability laid bare. "Will, I didn't realize... I didn't realize you felt this way. I thought... I thought you would be happy for me," she managed to say, her voice quivering with raw honesty.

𝕋he room was dimly lit, casting a somber atmosphere upon the scene. He entered slowly, his footsteps barely audible against the creaking wooden floor. With a heavy sigh, he settled himself on the edge of the bed, facing her. The dynamics had shifted, as she now stood taller than him, both physically and metaphorically.

"What you're doing isn't healthy," he spoke softly, concern etched in every word. She met his gaze momentarily before averting her eyes, unable to hold his penetrating stare.

"How long?" he continued, his voice filled with a mix of worry and curiosity. "How long... have you been limiting your food?" His eyes never left her, searching for answers hidden within the depths of her soul. She glanced at him fleetingly, her gaze shifting away once more, as if trying to escape the weight of the conversation.

"I started back before the pandemic started," she murmured almost inaudibly, her words carrying the weight of a confession. He couldn't bear to see her struggle alone, and in an instant, he pulled her closer, holding her waist firmly as she stood between his legs. Pressing his face against her stomach, he whispered words of concern and love.

"Do you really feel okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency. "I'm not asking if you feel good about what you're doing. I'm asking if you feel good about this body you have now." His forehead rested against her belly, shielded by the fabric of her t-shirt. Her trembling hands found solace in his brown hair, hidden beneath a cozy beanie. Though she couldn't see his face, she knew his eyes were fixed on the floor, wide with a mixture of sadness and desperation. She bit her lower lip, her gaze lingering on the top of his head.

"Do I feel good?" she pondered silently, a torrent of conflicting thoughts flooding her mind. "No, I could be thinner... No... That's not true... I don't want to be thinner. I want to be slim. But I didn't want to see my ribs," she confessed inwardly, her hands tracing the contours of her torso, skimming beneath her breasts. "I didn't want to feel my ribs. That wasn't my goal."

ℍer legs gave way, collapsing under the weight of her emotions. She curled into herself, folding her body and clutching her knees to her chin, seeking comfort and protection. In that vulnerable moment, she uttered a feeble, 'no.’ Will's hand found its way to her head, his touch offering solace and reassurance. Her voice grew stronger as she repeated her denial, leaning into his leg for support.

"I don't want to force you to do anything," he spoke gently, his voice laden with empathy. "But I will try to help you, okay? Baby, look at me." Tenderly, he lifted her chin, revealing her tear-streaked face.

Will's own eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the pain he saw in hers. "I love you, and I will help you, but you have to want my help too," he implored, his voice trembling with emotion. Another tear escaped her eye, joining the stream down her flushed cheeks. With a slight nod, she rose from her hunched position, seeking solace in his warm embrace.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice laced with regret and vulnerability.

ꝋ

Y/N's senses were awakened as the aroma of the simmering soup wafted through the air, drawing her closer to the pot. "It smells beautiful," she commented, her voice filled with a hint of anticipation. "And it probably tastes just as good." Her words lingered for a moment before she reached for a wooden spoon from the nearby counter, gently stirring the contents of the soup.

"Yes, tomato soup. Probably one of the easier soups that will always smell good," Will remarked, emerging from the bedroom. "Once the pasta is done, we can eat." As those words left his lips, a slight faltering of her smile betrayed an inner struggle. However, she joined Will on the couch, both of them engrossed in their phones, immersed in a shared silence.

"Look at this!" Will's voice broke the tranquility, snapping Y/N out of her trance. She locked her phone and shifted her attention to her boyfriend's screen. "How cute," he commented, awaiting her reaction.

The image displayed a red cereal box, with the white head of an incredibly fluffy cat poking out, its large, endearing eyes capturing their attention. "Imagine. You open the cereal and... Boom! there is a cat. Do you complain or keep the cat to yourself?" he pondered, placing the phone on the coffee table.

"Complain, but keep the cat to myself," she responded, setting her phone down alongside his. Will erupted in laughter at her answer, rising from the couch.

"I'd love to have a cat, but I know I'm not responsible enough," he confessed as he made his way toward the kitchen.

Y/N observed his back as he deftly handled the pot, shaking his head in slight dismay. He moved towards the sink, preparing a strainer before returning to drain the cooked noodles. With deliberate care, he placed the strainer on top of the pot, allowing the residual water to drip away. Retrieving two bowls from a high shelf, he poured the noodles evenly into each, then walked over to the table, ensuring the pot rested on a placemat to protect the surface.

He glanced back at Y/N, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Would you bring the bowls and ladle?" he asked, pulling out a chair. Y/N nodded, rising from the couch, but her sudden movement caused her to stumble slightly, catching her balance just in time.

"Are you okay?" Will's concern was evident as he prepared to rush to her side, ready to offer support in case she felt faint.

"Yeah, I just got up too fast," she reassured, her step now more confident as she made her way into the kitchen. Will leaned against the dining table, his gaze fixed on Y/N as she approached, clad in one of his cozy jumpers. She placed both bowls on the table and settled herself in one of the chairs.

Will, still standing, poured himself a serving of soup, flashing her a gentle smile before pouring a slightly smaller portion for her. With a swift turn, he carried the pot away.

Y/N's eyes remained fixed on the soup before her, watching as the light pasta gradually sank into the vibrant red liquid. She observed a few scattered spices floating in her bowl, seemingly captivated by the swirling mixture.

𝕋he soup became her entire world in that moment, its presence overwhelming her senses. She felt her hands grow clammy, the room seemingly growing hotter. Perhaps it was the heat emanating from the oven, or maybe it was her own heightened stress. A dryness crept into her throat, urging her to eat, yet her trembling hands could not grasp the spoon. Opening her mouth felt impossible, and despite the enticing aroma, tears welled up in her eyes.

"Hey! I've been asking for probably two minutes if you want cream in your soup," Will interjected, crouching down and discreetly gripping Y/N's thigh beneath the table. His concerned gaze met her flushed face. She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the soup's captivating presence. "Everything okay?" he inquired; his voice filled with genuine worry. Once again, she nodded, her focus unbroken. "Do you want sour cream?" he asked, raising an eyebrow slightly above his glasses.

Another nod confirmed her desire.

Will straightened himself, taking her spoon and squinting at the box of cream. After a brief contemplation, he dipped half of the spoon into the container, carefully placing it in the soup and giving it a light stir. The cream detached from the cutlery, floating to the surface amidst the sea of noodles. A delicate dance of red stains adorned its creamy surface. Will took his seat across from Y/N.

"Enjoy," he said, taking the first spoonful of soup. "As always, no particular taste," he jested, attempting to lighten the atmosphere before proceeding to eat in a more conventional manner.

Time passed in measured bites and sips, their silence punctuated only by the comforting sounds of spoons clinking against bowls. Will's presence beside her served as a reminder of the unwavering support he offered, his presence offering a quiet reassurance amidst her inner turmoil.

𝕋he atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted, the once pleasant ambiance now invaded by a cacophony of intrusive thoughts and harsh voices that reverberated through Y/N's mind. The relentless chorus of self-criticism and fear echoed loudly, drowning out any semblance of peace or enjoyment. The voices seemed to merge into a distorted symphony, each one demanding, pleading, and accusing in equal measure. It was a relentless battle within her own head, a war waged between her desires and the suffocating grip of her inner demons.

'Eat!' 'He made it for you!' 'Why aren't you eating? Don't you like his cooking?' 'Eat!' 'He spent two hours on it!' 'Why aren't you eating! You're hungry!' 'Move that hand!' 'Take a spoon and eat!' 'At least get your hands out from under the table and put them on the counter!' 'Eat!' 'What's wrong with you!' 'Yes, don't eat starve yourself to death!' 'Just because you don't eat won't make you skinnier!' 'Will won't love you if you don't eat it!' 'He'll leave you if you don't eat this soup!' 'Eat this soup!'

'EAT THE SOUP!'

"𝕀 can't, I’m sorry," Y/N finally managed to utter, her voice tremulous and fragile. She instinctively moved away from the table, unintentionally bumping into Will, who had been silently observing her, his touch offering a silent source of comfort. He winced in pain but refused to release his hold on her, his arms enveloping her in a protective embrace. Sensing her distress, he nestled his face in her hair, a gentle gesture of understanding and reassurance.

"I'm sorry."

"Shhh... It's okay," he whispered softly, his cheek resting on the crown of her head. With tender movements, he caressed her shoulder and the back of her head, seeking to provide solace in the face. "Eat at least one spoon, please. If you want, you can run to the sink and spit it out. Please try," he pleaded, his voice barely audible, as if imparting a secret shared between them alone. Y/N reluctantly turned her gaze back to the bowl before her.

'I can escape. But I have to try it first.' she thought, her hand trembling as she cautiously lifted a spoonful of soup. Will watched her movements attentively, his face still buried in her hair, his touch a constant reminder of his unwavering support. As she leaned forward to bring the spoon to her lips, she felt Will subtly shift, hiding his face completely in her hair while continuing to stroke her locks. Tears clouded her vision, the vibrant colors of the soup melding with her emotions. A few strands of pasta seemed to blend seamlessly with her blurred surroundings.

She opened her mouth, closed her eyes, and before her taste buds could register the flavor, she swallowed, her eyes clenching shut even tighter as she stifled a sniffle.

Returned the spoon to the bowl, her hand instinctively moving to cover her mouth. 'Really good soup.' she thought, sensing the faint taste that lingered. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but with Will's comforting touch still resonating, she reached for another spoonful, her movements slightly more determined this time.

𝕆nce again, she brought the spoon to her lips, her mouth poised to swallow the contents. Yet, in a sudden surge of awareness, she snapped her eyes open, tearing herself away from Will's embrace and rushing to the kitchen sink, forcefully expelling the food from her mouth.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeated, her words punctuated by a slow, faltering retreat to the floor behind the kitchen island.

Will glanced at the spilled soup on the table, the chair, and the growing soup pool on the floor. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he approached Y/N with measured steps. Crouching beside her, he eventually settled into a seated position, gently pulling her body closer to his, enveloping her trembling form in a tender embrace.

"It's okay. You've tried, and that's what matters. You didn't run away. You gave it a chance, and I'm proud of you. Truly, I am," he murmured, his voice a soothing balm amidst the chaos.

Will buried his face in her hair once more, his gaze fixated on the expanding stain on the floor.

"I love you, no matter what. I'm proud of you," he reiterated, his eyes closing as he focused on the warmth and love that radiated from the woman in his arms.

ꝋ

Y/N sat on the plush couch, contemplating the enticing idea of ordering a pizza. It had been quite some time since she had indulged in this guilty pleasure. As she embarked on her journey to embrace a healthier lifestyle, pizza had become a distant memory, a forbidden delight. But tonight, a spark of rebellion ignited within her. She yearned to break free from the shackles of her strict diet and indulge in the sheer joy of devouring a slice of cheesy, saucy goodness.

With a mischievous grin, Y/N grabbed her phone and tapped open the pizza delivery web. The tantalizing aroma of freshly baked dough, zesty tomato sauce, and a medley of delectable toppings began to fill the air, even if just in her imagination. The mere thought of sinking her teeth into a warm, gooey slice of pizza sent waves of anticipation coursing through her veins.

As she scrolled through the myriad of options on the app, her mouth watered at the sight of the different crust styles, from thin and crispy to thick and doughy. The toppings seemed to jump off the screen, tempting her taste buds with their vibrant colors and enticing flavors. Pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers, and the ever-popular extra cheese—it was a paradise of pizza possibilities.

But as excitement coursed through her, a subtle voice of doubt crept into her mind. 'Should I really do this? Will it undo all the progress I've made? Can I truly allow myself this indulgence?’ Her conscience waged a silent battle against her desires, tugging her back towards the path of discipline and control.

Denying herself the simple pleasure of a pizza would only fuel her cravings and dampen her spirits. It was time to embrace the joy that food could bring, to revel in the sensory experience of savoring every bite without guilt or regret.

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she read the series of messages from Will. A mixture of relief, worry, and anticipation swirled within her. The initial fear of abandonment slowly faded, replaced by a sense of understanding and empathy. She realized that unforeseen circumstances had delayed his return, and her mind's worst-case scenarios had been nothing more than needless worries.

'I'm going to be late Uber cancelled my ride. You can go to bed.' send 23:22

A smile played on her lips as she absorbed the reassurances in Will's messages. The warmth of their shared moments, captured in the wallpaper image, resonated within her. It was a reminder of the love they had built together and the strength of their connection. She felt a surge of gratitude for their relationship and the unwavering support they offered each other.

'I'll probably walk back.' send 23:30

With a renewed sense of calm, Y/N placed her phone back on the kitchen counter and returned to the cozy embrace of the couch. The aroma of the freshly baked pizza still filled the air, providing a comforting backdrop to her thoughts. She knew that soon, Will would walk through the door, bringing with him the familiar presence that brought her solace and joy.

'I'm next to Sussex Square, I'll be in a few minutes.' send 00:13

As she patiently waited, the minutes ticked by. Each passing second seemed to draw them closer together, erasing any lingering doubts or insecurities. The anticipation of being reunited, of feeling his warm embrace, and of sharing the simple pleasure of pizza together, filled her with a deep sense of contentment.

'I won't go to sleep until you're next to me in bed' send 00:23

𝕋he minutes ticked by, she found herself drawn back to her phone, eager to read the last message she had received. Ten minutes had passed, and curiosity tingled in her fingertips as she reached out to grasp the device. With bated breath, she unfolded the message and absorbed its contents, her eyes scanning the screen with intent. Satisfied, she enabled the notification sound, placing the phone gently on the table before retreating back to the comfort of her couch.

Sitting there, her gaze wandered to the pizza box perched on the coffee table. Its tantalizing aroma permeated the room, tickling her senses and beckoning her closer. It had been ages since she had felt such a pang of hunger. An internal debate ensued as conflicting thoughts danced in her mind.

The chorus of self-doubt echoed within her: 'You'll gain weight.' 'If you eat pizza, Will may not return home.' 'If you give in and savor that cheesy delight, Will might turn his back on you.' Overwhelmed by uncertainty, she curled her legs and nestled into the couch, surrendering to its warmth, lulling her back into the realm of sleep.

Suddenly, a voice shattered her reverie.

"I'm back!" the familiar sound reverberated through the room, the volume heightened with excitement yet devoid of a scream. Y/N swiftly straightened up, her gaze fixated on the figure that had just entered through the front door.

Will, with his shoes and jacket still on, approached her with purpose. As he neared, his hand reached out, gently cupping her cheek, the tenderness of his touch causing her to lean into it instinctively.

Their eyes locked, and a surge of affection surged between them. In an act of love and longing, their lips met in a soft, lingering kiss. The sweet taste of their connection mingled with the air, creating an atmosphere of shared adoration. As they pulled apart, Will's voice broke the silence, his senses now attuned to a familiar scent.

"Do I smell pizza?" he queried, his curiosity piqued. Y/N couldn't help but smile, her heart swelling with warmth.

"Yes," she replied, her voice filled with both satisfaction and anticipation. "I ordered it to be perfect at midnight and it was, it can be a little now..." Before she could finish her thought, Will interjected, a hint of hunger and vulnerability evident in his words.

"I'm sick to my stomach. I haven't eaten since I left. Well, except for a few fries. But all we did was drink," he confessed, a touch of remorse coloring his tone. Without hesitation, he lifted the lid of the pizza box, revealing a mouthwatering ensemble of pepperoni slices. A mixture of surprise and delight danced across his face. "Pepperoni! What a smart woman you are," he praised, his eyes meeting hers.

𝕊eating himself at the table, Will beckoned Y/N to join him. With a wistful expression, she approached, her hunger momentarily overshadowed by a tangle of emotions.

"I'm not hungry," she admitted softly, her voice laced with a hint of apprehension.

Undeterred, Will reached out with his foot, nudging her chair gently. "Come on," he urged, his eyes brimming with affection. "This will be our little date." His words carried a subtle plea, a desire to reconnect, to bridge the distance that had lingered between them.

Her reservations slowly melting away, Y/N yielded to his persistence and eased herself into the chair. She looked into Will's eyes, searching for answers, for reassurance.

A myriad of emotions swirled within Y/N as Will once again urged her to heed the desires of her stomach. The rumbling of her body, a sound that had slipped past her awareness initially, resonated once more, reminding her of its longing.

"Your stomach says differently," he playfully remarked, an undertone of mischief lacing his voice. "You want to. I mean..." With a brief scratch of his neck, he sauntered over to the fridge, retrieving two bottles of water. With a heartfelt conviction, Will offered a gentle solution to Y/N's hunger. He settled himself in the chair next to her, his eyes fixed on her intently. As he flipped the pizza box, their eyes met, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"I can feed you," he offered, a tenderness resonating in his voice. Y/N gazed back at him, her words momentarily halted as he placed a finger against her lips, his touch igniting a delicate spark within her.

Y/N found herself captivated by his presence, her gaze drawn to his every movement. In one smooth motion, his hand cupped her chin, his thumb lightly grazing her lower lip. Their connection was electric, tangible in the air as he leaned in, their lips finding each other once more. Soft murmurs escaped his lips, filled with adoration. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, their shared breath dancing between them. "But we will save these caresses for the bedroom after we eat." As he pulled away, confusion flickered in her eyes, her mind grappling with the sudden shift in the conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N mustered the courage to express her thoughts. "Will, I..." Before she could continue, his finger pressed gently against her lips, effectively silencing her. His touch sent shivers down her spine as he watched her reaction, his head resting against his palm.

Words of love spilled from his lips, their sincerity unmistakable. With a tender caress, he brought their lips together once more, a promise of the passion that awaited them.

Yet, as he pulled away, his eyes met her confused gaze, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. Two slice of pizza remained, an oversight that had gone unnoticed until now. Y/N held the slice in her hand, her eyes shifting to Will, who raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, her gaze averted from the tempting food before her.

𝔸 knowing smile tugged at Will's lips, amusement dancing in his eyes. "A little, perhaps, but I'm not so drunk that I don't understand what's happening," he assured her, his fingers reaching for another piece of pizza. "If you threw the ball at me, I think I would catch it without a problem." His playful remark elicited a laugh from Y/N, a shared moment of levity amidst their complexities.

"You think?" she quipped, her tone teasing yet filled with curiosity. Will's laughter resonated through the room, harmonizing with the joy that swelled within him. However, his amusement waned as he observed Y/N chewing thoughtfully, savoring the flavors of the food. He remained captivated by her actions, his mind consumed by the simple act of her eating.

'She's doing it. She's eating! She! EAT!' Will's thoughts reverberated with an unexpected intensity, his focus laser-sharp despite the effects of alcohol. Every movement she made held his attention, fueling his quiet laughter. The realization that she was taking pleasure in the food before her brought him an immeasurable sense of delight.

With a lighthearted chuckle, Y/N attempted to bite off a string of stringy pizza cheese, her laughter ringing through the air. The sound lifted the room, a symphony of joy that transcended any lingering doubts or fears. In that moment, they were simply two individuals, reveling in the simple pleasure of shared laughter and a meal enjoyed together.

Amidst the infectious atmosphere, Will found himself compelled to express his emotions. Putting the edge of the pizza back into the box, he turned his attention to Y/N, their eyes locking once again.

"I love you, you know?" he confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability. Yet, as he awaited her response, her eyes conveyed more puzzlement than a resounding affirmation of love.

ꝋ

Y/N's attention briefly shifted to the surroundings of their flat. Mirrors were scarce, only finding their existence in a few select areas—a bathroom mirror, a cabinet mirror in the hallway, and perhaps a couple of small mirrors in eye shadow sets. The absence of mirrors in their living space added a certain mystique, as if it were a deliberate choice to escape the constant reflection and self-scrutiny that mirrors often invited.

However, there was one particular incident involving a mirror that Y/N couldn't forget, one that added a touch of ambiguity to the atmosphere. It happened on a day like any other when she returned from a shopping excursion, masked and laden with bags. As she closed the front door behind her, a jarring sound sliced through the air—a sharp crack of shattering glass. Momentarily taken aback, she tried to piece together what had just occurred.

With a sense of urgency, she hurried into the bedroom, her eyes widening in disbelief at the scene before her. Will stood there, a hammer in hand, nails gripped between his lips, and shards of broken glass scattered across the floor.

"It was an accident. I'm alright," he assured her, his voice laced with sincerity. "I was trying to hang a map."

Y/N's gaze shifted between the shattered mirror and the spot on the wall where a map once hung, a sense of skepticism creeping into her thoughts. The distance between the wardrobe door, where the mirror had been, and the wall seemed far greater than what was necessary for hanging a map. Even if Will were visually impaired, the disparity was significant enough that he wouldn't have accidentally struck the mirror. Doubt began to nibble at her mind, casting a shadow over his explanation.

Moreover, Y/N couldn't shake off the fact that breaking a mirror required a significant amount of force. It wasn't a mere tap or accidental bump that would cause such destruction. She had witnessed enough mirror mishaps in the past to know that intentional or not, the act of shattering glass demanded a deliberate, powerful impact. The pieces of the puzzle didn't quite fit together, leaving her questioning the true nature of that event and the intentions behind it.

The unanswered questions swirled within her, a silent tension permeating the air between them. Yet, in that present moment, as Will professed his love, uncertainty mingled with her emotions. She looked at him, her eyes reflecting both her love for him and the underlying doubts that had taken root within her.

It was a moment of internal conflict, the clash between the affection she held for Will and the nagging suspicion that something wasn't quite as it seemed.

𝕀n the intimate confines of her humble flat, devoid of a large mirror, she still sought solace in the reflective surface of her bathroom mirror. It was a quiet hour, displayed plainly on the screen of her phone - 02:34, a testament to her ongoing battle with insomnia. As she stared at the glowing digits, her voice filled the silence. "I really should fix my sleep schedule," she muttered to herself, feeling the weight of exhaustion and restlessness.

A sigh escaped her lips as she decided to undress, shedding the stolen shirt she had been wearing, a subtle reminder of Will's presence in her life. In the privacy of her bathroom, she examined herself with a mix of curiosity and self-critique. Her gaze drifted downwards, drawn to her own breasts, once comfortably held by bras that now seemed two sizes too big in the wake of the pandemic's toll on her body. A shake of her head expressed her dissatisfaction as she delicately unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor with a soft rustle.

Her hands found their way to the waistband of sweatpants, skillfully peeling them off in a single fluid motion, leaving her standing there in nothing but her panties and a pair of white socks. She studied her own figure, searching for signs of change and imperfection.

Her fingers roamed over her stomach, grappling with a sense of disappointment.

Her eyes then wandered to her thighs, which appeared disproportionately large to her, and further up to her breasts, which now appeared smaller and less appealing. Her arms appeared slender, almost too thin, and her shoulders elicited a touch of unease, their structure feeling too masculine for her idealized feminine image.

ℂompelled by an unyielding desire to scrutinize herself, she approached the mirror with measured steps, locking eyes with her own reflection. Her gaze was immediately drawn to perceived flaws, amplifying her self-criticism. She fixated on her eyebrows, deeming them less than perfect, and cast a critical eye towards the persistent bags beneath her weary eyes. Her attention shifted to her lips, her lower lip slightly more plump than she desired, while her upper lip seemed disappointingly thin. Her cheekbones, in her opinion, lacked the defined contours she longed for. Each flaw magnified in her perception, feeding her insecurities and deepening her self-doubt.

Stepping away from the sink, she sought a fuller view of herself in the mirror, her reflection capturing her entire figure from head to knees. In that moment of self-judgment, she uttered the harsh words aloud, condemning herself.

"You're disgusting,"

The words slipped from her lips, filled with a mixture of self-loathing and despair.

In that fragile moment of vulnerability, her gaze inadvertently fell upon Will's razor, its presence within reach. A dark notion, like an intrusive whisper, insinuated itself into her consciousness. She possessed an intimate knowledge of its workings, having observed Will's grooming rituals firsthand. The location of his razor blades was etched in her memory, an awareness that beckoned her closer to the edge of her own despair.

With a mixture of apprehension and determination, she approached the sink with a purposeful stride, the drawer containing the razor blades beckoning to her. As she slowly pulled it open, a pristine white and green box revealed itself, housing individually wrapped blades nestled in white paper.

She counted them with a sense of foreboding, realizing that there were twenty-one, indicating that Will had recently opened a new box and inadvertently left behind the remnants of the previous one. A spark of justification flickered in her mind.

"He wouldn't have noticed," she whispered, convincing herself that she could discreetly borrow one and replace it without detection.

Her confidence emboldened, she reached into the box with a steady hand, her fingers grazing the packaging of a single razor blade. But as she glanced once again at her reflection, it felt as if an unknown presence within the mirror nodded in agreement, silently urging her forward.

ℍer decision solidified, and she withdrew a packet, swiftly closing the drawer to sever any lingering doubts.

In her hand, she held the razor blade, its surface untouched and gleaming under the unforgiving bathroom lights. A profound question echoed in her mind, as she contemplated whether this razor blade encapsulated her entire world.

A resolute nod, as if answering an unasked query, escaped her lips. Her conviction deepened, her fingers securing their grip on the blade, furrowing her brow as she realized the urgency of choosing a suitable location.

Her thoughts raced, weighing the options. She couldn't bring herself to carve into her arm, not with the summer heat making concealment impossible. The visibility of her thighs, shoulders, and belly would surely raise alarms in Will's observant eyes. The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act.

The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act.

'What?'

'No.'

'I' Don't want to.'

"I don't want to!"

𝕀n an act of defiance, her voice rose, shattering the suffocating silence that enveloped the room.

"No!" she exclaimed, her words filled with a mix of determination and desperation. The razor blade slipped from her grasp, crashing onto the hard floor with a resounding thud that seemed to reverberate through her entire being.

A surge of adrenaline coursed through her veins as she swiftly covered the fallen object with her foot, as if seeking to stifle its presence, to drown out the clamor that threatened to consume her.

Her gaze locked with the glinting metal, the razor blade's surface seemingly alive, fixated on her like a formidable opponent in the midst of an unspoken battle. They engaged in a silent dialogue, their connection charged with an inexplicable weight, as if this encounter held the weight of the world.

A humorless laugh escaped her lips, tinged with a bitter irony. "He he..." she chuckled, the sound choked and strained. "Since I can't cut myself because Will would notice.... In that case, I don't want it. I don't know how to do it." she admitted, her voice laced with a mixture of relief and uncertainty.

Lowering herself to the floor, she huddled into herself, her knees drawn up, her gaze still fixated on the razor blade. Visions flashed through her mind, dark and haunting, as she imagined running the sharp tool across her body. In each scenario, Will's piercing gaze intercepted her actions, unleashing a torrent of anger and anguish. Yet, despite the vividness of these mental images, she found a glimmer of self-preservation, a thread of resistance that refused to be severed.

With a gentle touch, she retrieved the razor blade, her fingers lingering upon its sleek surface.

𝕎hy did the blade appear to bear a twisted smile, a sinister allure?

It was an unsettling sight, a reflection of the dangerous path she had narrowly averted. Closing her eyes, she summoned her remaining strength, releasing the blade from her grip. It cascaded into the waiting embrace of the toilet bowl, accompanied by the sound of breaking water, sinking slowly to the bottom. The pristine white water, once a symbol of purity, now mirrored the discord within her soul. A conflicting mix of relief and regret washed over her, as the swirl of emotions settled.

As she pressed the flush, watching the spiraling water carry the once-menacing metal away, a sense of calm seeped into her bones. It was as if the act of release, of letting go, brought her closer to a fragile peace. Nodding to herself, she returned to the sink, her eyes landing on the discarded clothes that served as a reminder of the dark moments she had just transcended. A soft chuckle escaped her lips, filled with a newfound lightness.

"It's time for a change," she whispered, tossing the garments into the waiting basket of dirty laundry.

𝕆nce again, she confronted her reflection in the mirror, her eyes red and swollen from the torrents of tears that had washed over her. An unspoken question lingered in the air, as she gazed at her own disheveled appearance. "Why are we crying? Why?" she uttered softly, her voice tinged with a fragile vulnerability.

Seeking solace, she found herself crouching once more, her hands clutching the edges of the sink for support.

"Everything is okay. Yes, that's all," she murmured, attempting to reassure her weary heart, to convince herself that she had made the right choice.

After a prolonged moment of introspection, she straightened her posture, deftly slipping her phone into the pocket of her pajama shorts. Casting one last glance at the mirror, she took in her disheveled hair, her eyes hollowed out by grief, and the trails of tears etched upon her cheeks.

"You're the problem," she whispered, the words a firm declaration, directed not at her own reflection, but at the inner demons that had sought to ensnare her.

ꝋ

𝔻espite waking up feeling low, Y/N's eyes fluttered open as she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead. The sight that greeted her was Will, his morning hair in disarray, his rosy cheeks accentuating his slightly sleepy eyes.

"Good morning, love." he greeted her, his lips curving into a warm smile. Their eyes met, and both of them felt a tender connection in that simple exchange. "I made us breakfast," he added, straightening up to take a seat. Y/N propped herself up on her forearms, the covers already pushed aside, and Will's cool touch adjusting her rolled-up t-shirt.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, allowing him to guide her to the dining room table. Will pulled her chair back and gestured for her to sit.

"Yes, quite well, actually. I think I fell asleep right after we finished." he replied with light laught, making his way to the kitchen counter. "I made scrambled eggs for us." He handed plates and cutlery to the table, and Y/N couldn't help but express her surprise.

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed, her voice laced with genuine appreciation. Will's thoughtful gestures never failed to warm her heart.

"Would you like tea or strong coffee?" he inquired, his gaze fixed on her silhouette as she stared at the plate with a hint of suspicion. "Y/N!" he called out, breaking her trance.

"Sorry, I was just lost in thought," she replied, flashing a smile in Will's direction. Instantly, his smile mirrored hers, the connection between them growing stronger. "What you say?" she tilted her head, curious.

"Tea or coffee?" he repeated, pouring a cup for himself. With a nod of confirmation, he began preparing his own coffee. Retrieving his mug, he turned his attention back to Y/N. His gaze shifted to her body, and a peculiar request escaped his lips. "Can you take your shirt off?"

𝕊urprised, she looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Will crossed his arms over his chest, his expression turning more serious than thoughtful. Arching his eyebrows in anticipation, he waited for her response.

"What?" she asked, clutching the edge of her shirt. "Why?" she asked, holding the edge of his shirt.

"Just want to see you," he answered, disregarding the coffee machine's signal that the coffee was ready.

"But you saw me last night," she pointed out, her hands clasped together tightly.

"Okay," she relented, seeing Will turn his back to retrieve his mug and carry both cups to the table.

"Thank you," she whispered as she watched him return to the kitchen. Y/N observed as he picked up a pan and simmered, carefully placing eggs onto it. His gaze lingered on the empty pan, contemplating something. 'How do I ask...?' he wondered silently. Shaking his head, he set the pan aside and walked back to the table, taking a seat and gripping his fork.

"That's too much," she finally spoke, taking a deep breath and lifting his gaze to meet hers. Embarrassment and affection intermingled as he beheld her.

Will took a deep breath, lifted his gaze. He looked at her embarrassed face 'Even when I'm angry I see beauty in her.' "I'll eat what you leave," he added, taking a sip of his tea. Y/N looked at him with a look as though he had just uttered the most heartfelt sentiment.

"Thank you," she whispered, reaching for her fork and taking the first bite of scrambled eggs. Will observed her, his own portion forgotten momentarily, as she savored each morsel slowly.

𝕋his morning, the tall brunette ate an extra portion. Y/N watched as he finished her, placing his plate atop his own. In one swift motion, he consumed the last of his tea.

"Can I ask you a question? Just a simple question, and I want a simple answer. Do we understand?" he asked, setting his cup down and gazing at Y/N with a serious expression.

"Okay," she nodded, her heart pounding, saliva diminishing. 'Is he going to break up with me?' she worried.

"What did you need a razor blade for?" he inquired; his tone laden with concern.

"What?" she asked, taken aback by the unexpected question.

"What the hell did you use a razor blade for?" he pressed, furrowing his brows, a touch of anger causing the nerve at the corner of his mouth to twitch and his left nostril to wrinkle. Retrieving a slightly bent white square from his pajama pocket, he exclaimed, "Bloody hell! Why did you need it? You didn't take it yesterday, and it's not the paper I left either!" He let out a breath, staring at the ceiling momentarily before composing himself.

𝕌nclenching his fists, he gently unfolded his hands, placing them on the table. "Sorry for raising my voice," he apologized, his gaze lifting as Y/N's muscles tensed, attempting to shrink away.

"I... I..." she stammered, her voice barely audible amidst the silence of the room.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice. It's just... Y/N, why did you do it?" he asked, looking at her intently.

"I didn't do anything," she replied, her voice barely a whisper, as if afraid of making any noise that might disturb the atmosphere. "What do you mean?" he inquired, extending his hand for her to grab.

"I wanted to, but I gave up. I threw it in the toilet. You can check. I can undress. I didn't do anything. I really didn't. Seriously," she explained, reaching for his hand at the end of her statement, but he abruptly turned it over. Surprise flickered across her face.

'He doesn't trust us.'

ꝋ

"𝕐ou crossed me and that's what's going to happen to you dude." she could hear Will live in the other room. For the first time since she had supported Will in his passion, in his internet work - she has no desire to watch her boyfriend play.

For the first time she didn't want to watch him.

"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to ensure it wouldn't reach the other room. She entered the bathroom, avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed, preparing to step into the shower. With the water running, she crouched down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back. It felt as if the water had the power to heal her, as if each droplet could wash away her troubles.

"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to not be heard in the other room though.

Seeking solace, she entered the bathroom, deliberately avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed and prepared to step into the shower. Turning on the water, she squatted down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back.

With each droplet that touched her, she yearned for a healing sensation, hoping that the water running down her back would wash away her troubles. Leaning back and sitting down, she allowed the water to fully drench her hair.

𝕋houghts swirled through her mind as she looked up at the ceiling, watching the glass shower wall slowly become veiled by the warm steam. 'Will always look so tired?' she wondered, her heart heavy with concern. 'Why does he always seem so sad?' She tilted her head back even further, completely soaking her hair in the streaming water.

As the steam filled the air, Y/N felt her forehead begin to sweat. Her breathing grew heavier, burdened by the weight of her thoughts. 'Why did I stop eating? Was it for myself or for him? Did I stop eating to seek Will's attention?' She shook her head, denying those possibilities. 'No... No... I wanted to lose weight, didn't I?'

Her internal turmoil intensified as she contemplated her worthiness of Will's love and presence. 'Why is he still with me? He's only growing tired and burdened. He doesn't deserve to suffer because of my problems. He deserves someone better than me. I'm not worthy of him. He should be with someone who won't make him miserable, someone who can energize him from the beginning of each day. I'm nothing but a burden to him...' Tears streamed down her face, mingling with the flowing water.

In her despair, she firmly believed that Will's sadness and exhaustion were a direct result of her presence in his life. She blamed herself for his fatigue, convinced that she was responsible for his lack of sleep and the absence of his daily smiles. She mourned the loss of his carefree laughter, which had once filled their apartment. Tears continued to mix with the water, symbolizing the anguish she felt within.

'I am the problem.'

𝔸s Y/N stood up, she adjusted the water to a gentle rain shower setting. The warm water continued to cascade down her body, soothing her muscles and providing a momentary respite. With deliberate movements, she massaged her hair, allowing the water to fully saturate it. Reaching for the bottle of soap, she proceeded to wash her body, her movements slow and melancholic.

Her touch lingered on the parts of her body that elicited self-disgust, a sad smile playing on her lips.

Rinsing off the soap, she reached for the 3-in-1 shampoo that she and Will had been using. Tilting her head back, she carefully avoided getting any soap in her eyes, watching as drops of water settled on the ceiling. Taking a step back, she immersed her entire body under the stream of water, allowing the lather to run down her back and cleanse her.

The repetition of the motion brought a sense of ritual and momentary solace. Finally, she turned off the water, the sound of its flow abruptly ceasing.

Moving to the end of the tub where the glass wall did not reach, she fixed her gaze on the wall, noticing the chipped blue-grey paint. A subtle smile graced her face as she stepped out of the tub, her feet making contact with the cold tiles. She reached for the towel she had left by the sink, wrapping it around herself.

Walking towards the fogged-up mirror, Y/N remained naked as she wiped the condensation away with her hand. Despite her efforts, her reflection still appeared slightly blurred. Drawing closer, she locked eyes with herself in the mirror, seeking understanding and acceptance.

"We are the problem."

𝔸s Y/N gazed at Will's peaceful sleeping form, she couldn't help but wonder about the dreams that occupied his slumber. Observing the subtle movements of his nose and the flickering of his closed eyelids, she pondered what scenarios played out in his subconscious mind. Carefully, she slid out of bed, mindful not to disturb the duvet and risk waking him. She changed into the clothes she had worn the day before and quietly crossed the bedroom.

Opening the wardrobe with a gentle touch, she retrieved her suitcase, lifting it to minimize noise from the wheels. Carrying the suitcase, she tiptoed to the living room and placed it softly on the sofa.

With a quick glance around the apartment, she moved towards the kitchen countertops. Retrieving her cup from the sink, she nestled it inside the travel bag, hidden from view. She then walked along the room's contours and selected one of the two fluffy blankets from a nearby basket. Returning to the suitcase, she carefully arranged the blanket over her belongings, creating a protective layer.

Y/N reentered the bedroom and cautiously opened the first drawer, swiftly gathering her underwear. She swiftly returned to the living room, placing the gathered items alongside the others in the valise. Closing the drawer, she hesitated before the second one, aware that its noisy metal-on-metal sound might rouse Will from his sleep.

She bit her lip, deciding against opening it, and instead reached into the last drawer, retrieving two dresses and adding them to the growing collection in the suitcase.

𝔾ently gripping the fabric in the bag, she covered her belongings and zipped up the zipper to secure them in place. As she glanced at the other side of the valise, her eyes caught sight of a jumper that she and Will had searched for long ago. It was a vibrant jumper with two mint-colored stripes in the middle. She held it in her hands, memories flooding back, before folding it and placing it back inside the suitcase. Finally, she sat down on the couch next to the packed valise, exhaling a heavy sigh.

The weight of her emotions and the uncertainty of her actions weighed heavily upon her as she sat there, contemplating the path she was about to take. Y/N listened to the quiet voice in her mind, acknowledging its encouragement and support. Her hands trembled, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within her.

"You're doing a good thing," she whispered, reinforcing her resolve. She glanced at the television, where her silhouette stood next to the suitcase in the dimly lit room.

𝕋he scene resembled a moment from a romantic movie, where the protagonist would seek solace with her best friend, crying and lamenting her ex's mistreatment. It was a portrayal of transformation, where the lead actress, initially perceived as unattractive, would eventually reveal her true beauty.

But this wasn't a movie.

Y/N had just endured one of the most challenging experiences of her life. Will would never be the villain, the ex-boyfriend to be forgotten and despised. She wouldn't seek comfort in her friend's embrace, belittling him and recounting tales of mistreatment.

No, Will wasn't bad. He cared for Y/N and tried his best to make her happy. Yet, she knew deep down that she didn't deserve his efforts. She didn't want to burden him any longer. She felt like a leech, draining his happiness and strength. She longed for things to return to how they were before—the pre-pandemic, pre-quarantine era—before she became a problem.

𝕋ears welled up in her eyes as the weight of her decision bore down on her. In the script, she would leave now, seeking refuge with a college friend, her best friend, or her parents. But the current state of the world made escape seem impossible. Y/N didn't want to imply that living with Will had been terrible; in fact, they respected each other's space and knew when solitude was needed.

Being in the same room, sharing silence, had been enough to bring them happiness. Sometimes one of them retreated to the bedroom while the other stayed in the living room, granting the necessary space. Y/N didn't want it to end, and she didn't want to run away from Will. She wanted to leave, to give him the chance to regain his happiness.

The conflicting emotions tugged at her heart, torn between her desire to make Will happy and her reluctance to abandon their life together. It was a painful realization, but she believed it was the right decision.

Y/N gracefully rose from the plush couch, her senses heightened by a hint of nostalgia as she embarked on a journey through her memories. With purposeful steps, she made her way to the elegant cabinet that housed the television, its glossy exterior gleaming under the soft ambient lighting. The shelves within held an assortment of books, each one carrying its own story and allure. Some had been devoured by her voracious appetite for literature long ago, their worn spines bearing the marks of countless reads. Others remained untouched, their mysteries waiting patiently to be unraveled. And then there was one particular book, a cherished companion during the early days of her quarantine, its pages worn and dog-eared from repeated encounters.

Carefully, she retrieved the books from their resting place, their weight feeling familiar in her hands. As she gingerly placed them in her suitcase, she made sure to leave ample space for the jumpers and shirts that awaited extraction from another drawer. A sigh escaped her lips, carrying with it a blend of weariness and anticipation, as she tenderly adjusted a strand of hair that had strayed from its intended position.

Her delicate fingers graced her nose once more, a small gesture of reassurance, before she summoned the courage to press the handle of the bedroom door.

As the door swung open, a soft glow of orange light spilled into the room, casting an ethereal aura upon Will's face. It was as though he had been plucked from the pages of a glossy magazine, the embodiment of timeless beauty and masculine allure. Retrieving her phone from the depths of her back pocket, she unlocked the device effortlessly, its familiar glow illuminating her face as she raised it to capture a moment frozen in time.

Through the lens of her camera, she marveled at the captivating image before her - Will. She smiled thinking of how beautiful Will looked at times as he looked down at her with sweat and slightly wet hair, how he gently slumped against her breathing hard, how they had both been lying naked in bed just looking into each other's eyes for hours. She smiled thinking about how Will looked in straight hair, how much he had changed during the time they had both sat locked in the house for days. She watched him, he furrowed his brow as if he was talking to someone.

Her gaze remained fixed on Will's slumbering form, observing his restless movements as he shifted onto his back. With a heavy sigh, Y/N moved towards the dresser that held the potential to turn a carefully crafted escape plan into a tempestuous argument.

ℍer delicate fingers lightly grasped the drawer, a mere touch setting the metal in motion, its faint creaking already audible in her ears. Each increment in volume served as a reminder for Y/N to proceed cautiously, to tighten her behavior as though walking on a tightrope of emotions.

Her gaze fixated on the partially opened drawer, a gateway to reclaiming her belongings. It beckoned her, teasing her with the prospect of liberation. The internal debate raged within her, contemplating the possessions gifted to her by Will. 'Should I take the things he bought me’ she pondered, her pause punctuated by the slow extraction of shirts, one by one. Her eyes oscillated between the clothes she had acquired for herself and those that bore the imprint of Will's generosity.

A moment of hesitation washed over her, prompting her to glance back at her partner. Will's peaceful countenance, oblivious to the turmoil that swirled within her, evoked a twinge of guilt. An innate desire to protect their tranquility whispered through her thoughts, urging her to reconsider her actions.

It felt reminiscent of the rebellious spirit one might possess while running away from overbearing parents, swiftly extracting funds from their wallets to purchase a bus ticket to freedom.

Y/N moved with caution, her actions imbued with a sense of both trepidation and determination. She meticulously selected the clothes that resonated with her, their allure and aesthetic appeal surpassing those left untouched atop the dresser.

Turning her gaze towards the glass of a picture frame displaying an ancient world map, a fragment of her reflection danced upon its surface. The vibrant glow of the streetlights failed to reach her, leaving her face veiled in shadow while her cascading hair shimmered under the soft illumination. A subtle shake of her head symbolized a moment of introspection, a solemn acknowledgment of the path she had chosen. With deliberation, she gathered the shirts and sweatshirts within her hands, arranging them with tender precision inside her waiting suitcase.

𝔸s the weight of her actions settled upon her, a sudden interruption shattered the stillness.

Y/N jumped, startled by the intrusive ring of Will's phone. Swiftly retreating into the safety of the bed, she found solace by his side, laying down upon the covers. The brunet, lost in the depths of slumber, mumbled incoherently, his subconscious reaching out in search of the elusive phone.

"Hello?" Will grumbled, lifting the still ringing phone to his ear. Annoyance tinged his voice as he pushed the device away, his finger gliding across the screen to answer the call. "What do you want?" he asked curtly, more irritated at being forcefully awakened from his slumber than by the phone itself. Y/N lay on the bed, her eyes closed, feigning the act of just waking up. She artificially squinted as she opened her eyes, observing Will staring blankly at the ceiling with half-closed eyes.

"I don't know. What time it is," Will groaned, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "No, I can't make it. It's Monday, and I have a class at thirteen. I just want to sleep," he retorted, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. Y/N had a few seconds to catch a glimpse of Joe's name flashing on the screen before the interruption abruptly ceased.

"Did I wake you up, love?" Will inquired, blocking the phone and placing it between their pillows. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Go back to sleep, dear. It's only five in the morning. We still have time." he reassured her, turning away and pulling the covers back. "Can you give me blanket, I'm cold," he requested, prompting Y/N to raise herself up on her forearms, allowing Will to arrange the additional layers of warmth.

As she felt his muscular frame become distinguishable again, a sense of relief washed over her, soothing her restless mind.

Y/N lay on her back, her gaze fixed upon the ceiling, her eyes wide with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. Her hands trembled slightly as she slowly maneuvered her legs to the edge of the bed, preparing to rise. Once seated, her gaze involuntarily shifted towards the partially open drawer. ‘If I close the drawer now.... Will will wake up; he's having a gentle sleep right now. I'm not one hundred percent sure he's asleep.’ she contemplated. Summoning her courage, Y/N stood up, reaching for the laptop resting alongside a keyboard and a few notebooks. ‘I'll come back for my college stuff,’ she silently promised herself, stepping towards the bedroom door and gently closing it behind her.

"Y/N?" Will's voice jolted her from her thoughts, causing her to pull a face upon hearing his inquiry. She promptly reopened the door, meeting his inquisitive gaze. "Where are you going?" he questioned, turning around and straightening his drowsy body. "Are you dressed?" he mumbled, his sleepy mind struggling to focus on the situation at hand.

𝕋he gentle glow of the street lamp illuminated him even more beautifully than when he lay upon the bed, casting a soft, yellow halo upon the entire left side of his body. He instinctively narrowed his left eye in response to the lingering luminosity.

"To the bathroom," Y/N responded, biting her lip nervously. Will sat up further, his sleepy demeanor giving way to a more alert posture. He shook his head while rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, momentarily resembling a cartoon character awakening from a deep sleep. His eyes widened as if a sudden jolt of realization had electrified his consciousness.

"With a laptop?" he queried lazily, pointing a finger towards the device firmly held in Y/N's grasp. She pressed her lips together tightly, nodding in confirmation. "Y/N, what are you planning? You're dressed to go out, and you have a laptop. What's going on?" he probed, moving towards the edge of the bed. An icy chill ran through his feet, reminiscent of plunging into deep water. He rose to his full height, stretching his body with a seductive moan, seemingly even taller than before. He had already opened his mouth to speak but halted his words upon noticing the open drawer.

His drowsy countenance swiftly transformed into one of alert sobriety. "Y/N?" he uttered; his voice laden with concern.

In response, Y/N took two steps back and closed the door behind her. Hastily, she dashed towards the suitcase, swiftly closing it shut. ‘Run. Run!’ a voice screamed in her mind as tears welled up, mingling with a cascade of overwhelming emotions. With each passing second feeling shorter than the previous one, she flung the suitcase off the couch and gripped its handle tightly.

Just as she rounded the corner, she heard the sound of the bedroom door opening.

"Y/N, what are you—" Will's voice trailed off as he interrupted himself, his gaze falling upon the suitcase and Y/N's anguished expression, on the verge of tears. They stood motionless, locked in a silent gaze, while Will took slow steps towards her. Each stride was preceded by the realization of Y/N's missing belongings. He gently grasped her wrist, his touch pleading.

"I'm scared now. What are you doing?" he implored, his voice trembling with uncertainty. A deluge of questions flooded his mind, eclipsing any semblance of answers. ‘What's happening? Where are you going? What do you want to do? Am I about to lose you? If I release your hand, will you leave the flat without a word of explanation? Am I on the verge of losing my love?’

No.

There was no answer in his head.

𝕋he room was engulfed in a heavy silence, hanging thickly in the air as Y/N and Will locked eyes. It felt as though the weight of the world rested upon their shoulders, their gazes penetrating deep into each other's souls. Their eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the raw emotions swirling within them. They knew that the next words spoken would unleash a flood of tears, a deluge of pent-up feelings.

"Please..." Their voices trembled in unison, on the verge of breaking down. Will's grip on Y/N's wrist loosened, an unspoken plea for her to join him in finding solace. Slowly, Y/N released her hold on the suitcase handle, surrendering herself to Will's guidance as he led her towards the couch. The room, shrouded in darkness, seemed to echo their internal turmoil.

As they settled down on the couch, a pang of realization struck Will. He looked around the dimly lit apartment, taking in the sight of Y/N's belongings packed neatly into a single suitcase. The magnitude of her intention to leave without a word pierced his heart. In that moment, he understood that his beloved partner, the other half of his very being, was truly prepared to walk away.

Their eyes remained locked, searching desperately for answers within the depths of each other's gaze. Tears glistened on their cheeks, threatening to spill over at any moment. They knew that the next words uttered would unravel their fragile composure, baring their vulnerabilities and fears.

"Y/N, dear, what..." Will's voice quivered with unspoken emotions, his lip trembling as he carefully chose his words. His hand, once holding onto her wrist, now tenderly intertwined their fingers, seeking a connection amidst the uncertainty. He sensed Y/N's reluctance to meet his gaze, her eyes fixed on the reflection of their fragmented selves in the blank television screen.

A flicker of apprehension passed through Y/N's eyes as she finally shifted her weeping gaze towards Will's tear-streaked face. She could see the traces of exhaustion etched into his features, beyond the mere physical realm. His weariness was a testament to the toll their shared struggles had taken on him, both mentally and emotionally.

"Can you explain to me what's on your mind right now?" he asked after a moment. Along with his question, the woman looked with wider eyes in front of her. She looked as if she was asking herself this question by moving her lips slightly.

"In my mind?" Y/N's voice quivered, barely audible, as if she was grappling with her own thoughts. She seemed to be silently questioning herself, her lips moving ever so slightly, searching for the right words to convey the storm raging within her.

Before Will could interject, a wave of determination washed over Y/N, compelling her to press a gentle finger against his lips, stifling any potential denial. "Can't you see it, Will?" Her voice trembled, filled with a mix of sadness and regret. "It's not about how you've changed, how you've taken care of yourself. It's about how I've changed you."

She withdrew her hand from his mouth, allowing her words to hang heavily in the air. Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over onto her flushed cheeks. "I'm destroying you," she continued, her voice filled with a blend of remorse and gratitude. "I appreciate your unwavering support, your presence. But it's a battle, a constant fight with myself. Every day, I strive to do better, to be more than I was yesterday, and..."

ℍer words trailed off, her voice choked with emotion. The weight of her admission hung in the silence, an unspoken question lingering in the air. Will's eyes mirrored the tumultuous storm brewing within him. Questions surged through his mind, seeking answers amidst the sea of uncertainty. What was happening to their once harmonious bond? How had their lives taken this unexpected turn?

The room stood witness to their shared anguish, the silent plea for understanding and the desperate search for a path forward. In that moment, they both knew that they had reached a crossroads, where decisions carried the weight of a thousand possibilities. They sat there, locked in an embrace of uncertainty, their hearts yearning for resolution, and their souls bracing for the impact of the forthcoming revelations.

"But I see it and-" she covered his mouth with her hand again.

Y/N's hand trembled slightly as she covered Will's mouth once more, her eyes pleading for him to listen, to allow her the space to express her thoughts. The room fell into a profound stillness, their intertwined gaze conveying a mutual understanding. Will, respecting her request, nodded silently, the faint hues of dawn gently caressing their faces, as if lending a glimmer of hope to their conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N steadied herself, her voice quivering with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "Will... I want you to hear me out, to truly understand," she began, her words weaving through the fragile air that enveloped them. "It's not just about the weight gain, those two kilos. It's about what they symbolize, what they represent in the grand scheme of our journey."

"Will... I'm trying to eat. I've put on weight! Yes, two kilos and I haven't noticed a difference in my body, but yes. It's a lot! However... It took me almost three months... No... It took US almost three months. Because it's our fight. But I'm the problem Will." Her eyes, brimming with tears, held an unwavering gaze with Will's, seeking solace and comprehension.

Will's gaze softened, his own insecurities momentarily forgotten as he focused intently on Y/N's words. He peered down at his pajama-clad body, feeling a pang of self-reflection wash over him. Y/N's voice, warm with affection, reached his ears, alleviating the weight he had carried upon his shoulders. "You are beautiful, Will," she assured him, her voice holding a tenderness that transcended physical appearances.

The weight of her words settled upon them, the unspoken acknowledgment that their struggles were intricately entwined. Y/N's voice grew more fragile, her emotions threatening to break through the surface. "But, Will," she continued, her voice laced with sorrow, "you're unintentionally destroying yourself mentally. Your relentless pursuit of my happiness has taken a toll on your own. I see it, Will."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, shimmering with unshed emotions. Her heart ached at the realization that her own struggles had become a barrier between them, casting shadows upon their once radiant connection. The weight of her own battles, coupled with the guilt of seeing Will bear the weight of her pain, bore heavily upon her conscience.

Her voice quivered with a mixture of sorrow and gratitude as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry for becoming your problem, for placing this burden upon your shoulders. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Before we were together, before I entered your life. I don't want my struggles to overshadow yours, to dampen your spirit." Y/N's voice trailed off, her words mingling with the unspoken desire for their bond to find its equilibrium once more.

Tears streamed down her face, a testament to the depth of her emotions and the love that still resided within her. She awaited Will's response, their intertwined fate hanging delicately in the balance, as they navigated the complexities of their intertwined journey together.

𝔸s they gazed into each other's eyes, a profound sense of understanding washed over them, like a gentle wave embracing the shore. Will tenderly wiped away Y/N's tears, his touch conveying both solace and reassurance.

"My love, look at me," he softly implored, observing her eyes closed in an attempt to shield herself from the overwhelming emotions. "Please, open your eyes, my darling." With his gentle strokes against her cheeks, Y/N gradually blinked her eyes open, meeting the unwavering gaze of the person she held so dear.

Rare were the instances in their shared history when Y/N witnessed Will shedding tears. He was not one to cry easily, his tears being reserved for moments of profound significance. Seeing him vulnerable in this way only reinforced her realization that she needed to address the impact her struggles had on the person she cherished most.

"Hey, don't dwell on those thoughts now," Will soothingly spoke, his voice laced with a tender affection. "Listen to me, my love. Right now, there is no room for that voice in your head. There is only room for my words, okay?" Y/N sniffled and nodded, her expression a blend of fragility and hope. In this tender moment, he sought to redefine the narrative that had haunted her.

"You were never the problem, and you will never be a problem to me," Will reassured her, his voice brimming with unwavering love and devotion. "You, my angel, my love. It's like a flu, just a bit more serious." He let out a gentle chuckle, the sound carrying a delicate warmth that enveloped them. "Yes, it's true that I am tired, more tired than before, but you are not the reason behind it. There are many things in my mind right now—the Twitch channel, YouTube, my music, my studies, and the nagging feeling of not being completely satisfied with what I'm doing. It's the culmination of all these things that contributes to my fatigue. But you, my love, you are not the problem."

A surge of relief and gratitude washed over Y/N's weary soul as she absorbed his words, their significance resonating deeply within her. She couldn't help but regret the delay in recognizing her own need for assistance, but she found solace in the fact that she had come to this realization on her own. Will's pride in her resilience and daily struggle against her inner demons only served to strengthen her resolve.

"Y/N, my love," Will continued, drawing nearer to her, their breaths mingling in the intimate space between them. "Every day, as you fight against that voice in your head, I am proud of you. I understand, because I too battle my own inner voice. 'Why bother eating when everything tastes the same?' But you know what? Eating together, sharing these moments at this very table, on this couch, it's my way of expressing my love for you. Because I love you, regardless of anything and everything. It doesn't matter who you are or what you may be going through. I love you every single day."

In the tender silence that followed, Will's words hung in the air like an ethereal melody, resonating with the profound depth of his love for Y/N. Each word he spoke echoed within her heart, reaffirming the unbreakable bond they shared. The weight of his unwavering affection wrapped around her like a warm embrace, soothing the lingering doubts and fears that had plagued her.

Their souls danced in perfect harmony, intertwined by a love that transcended superficialities. "No matter what you are or are not," Will declared, his voice trembling with emotion, "I love you every day." His words painted a vivid tapestry of acceptance and adoration, embracing every facet of her being. “With your hair styled, with a storm of hair. With sleepy eyes, with a beautiful baby face. In pajamas, in my clothes, in dresses, in shirts, trousers or skirt. I love you and never, no one and nothing will change that. I want to be with you." he said moving closer to give her a light kiss. "It pains me that I don't know how to convey this feeling in words. It's all good, but yet something hides inside me and wants to scream. It's fucking: weakness. I am weak... But. You are another part of me. Someone who makes me never feel alone, someone who makes me not give up in what I do. I love you, you're my Y/N." He said again kissing the woman who this time reciprocates his kiss.

In that intimate moment, their hearts beat as one, the world fading into insignificance. Y/N, overcome by a surge of profound emotion, reciprocated his kiss, pouring her own love into the tender meeting of their lips.

"𝕀 love you too," she whispered, her voice carrying a newfound strength born from their shared vulnerability. Moving away slightly, she rested her forehead against his, their breaths intertwining as they merged into one. Her gaze, filled with a mixture of love and concern, met his deep brown eyes, which now appeared darker than their natural hue.

"I want us to keep fighting," Y/N spoke softly, her voice a delicate plea. "But I also want you to fight for yourself, to remember the importance of self-care. Take care of yourself too, Will. Please." Her words held a gentle urgency, an acknowledgment of the toll their struggles had taken on both of them.

A flicker of understanding illuminated Will's eyes as he absorbed her words, his gaze mirroring her own concerns. "You're right, my dear," he replied, his voice carrying a note of determination.

"I think we need to take care of each other, my dear."

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