#watch me hate this later lmao
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there is a before and after, when it comes to knowing simon.
before, when you were young and carefree and loving him was the sun on your face, its light red behind your eyelids. easy, comforting, done without thought. sweethearts, you could have been; how many nights did you fall to sleep to the thought of him and all that you would one day have? a future, a family, a house and accompanying picket fence?
worst case scenario, you knew he would be different after he left. all the horror stories you'd ever heard about the military and what was awaiting him overseas, what he'd bring back with him. but — you knew him very well, simon riley, and he would be there at the very core, surely. shrouded, maybe, but you would find him. you would search, for him.
ghost is after. not yet, not technically, but to you he's no longer simon. that faraway look, when things you'll never come to know swim in the pit of his dark eyes, when he stares through you and yet can't bring himself to meet your gaze. love is not what you knew; instead it is the cold water from the shower, the chill it sends down your spine as you lean against his, curving into him as if your warmth could be enough for the both of you.
each time he returns, it's a little more drawn out of him. less room for you, taken up by ugly little things you don't stand a chance against. you reach for all that you can of him, for as long as he'll let you — but there comes a time when he, ghost, pushes you away, finally, and, maybe simon is still in there, shrouded, but he doesn't want to be found.
#i'm so interested in exploring knowing him before he joined#you watch the man you love go off to war and he comes back years later and won't look you in the eye?? won't show you his face anymore??#devestating 💀#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost x you#hate tagging shit lmao#idk what this is don't look at me byeeeee#writing
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Finished the first two episodes of PJO. Got thoughts (if anyone cares). Putting under a read more cuz it’s a bit lengthy
Before I go into the cons (cuz I got some unfortunately), the pros:
Aryan is so cute I adore him
I love the main trio in general. I think some of the acting isn’t always great but their chemistry and adorableness make up for it
I especially love the percabeth relationship. Walker and Leah did a great job showing that doofus Percy and irritated Annabeth relationship. Especially their early on “Annabeth looking down on Percy while he understandably flounders around.” I cannot wait to see more of them!!!
Saw someone on Twitter talk about the armor adjustment scene and how it could be a parallel to them later on as their relationship progresses and I hope so badly that they do that
Love Clarisse. Does a great balance between being unlikeable and being unenjoyable
LOVE Mr. D. Had absolutely no doubt that Jason Mantzoukas would crush this role and am glad to see it. Perfect level of unhinged and unnervingness. Literally the perfect person to play the role
It has a decent script. Not perfect, but I like how witty Percy is and there’s a lot of good written chemistry between characters and I found myself chuckling a lot, which is great as an adult with a show targeted towards younger audiences
The scenery is GREAT. I always have a hard time visualizing camp in my mind while reading and I think the show perfectly balances a normal summer camp with fantasy. Would’ve liked to see more of it, like a proper tour, but I know there’s not a lot of time. Hopefully we get to see more of it in later episodes
Great fight choreography. Wish there was a little more of it. Again, maybe they were cut for time but the fight scenes just seemed very rushed. But what we did see was so good. Especially loved Percy’s little duck and roll thing he did
Which brings us to the negatives. I wish I didn’t have any, but unfortunately I have a lot. I base these both as a fan of the books and as a show as a whole:
First things first, the pacing. It’s awful. It felt like a bunch of random scenes clipped together. There’s almost zero flow between scenes. It reminds me of watching the deleted scenes in the DVD bonus features and the weirdly long pauses between some scenes added to that. Nothing felt connected
To add to pacing, everything felt really rushed. As I said before, I get that timing is an issue, but I felt sped through everything. Considering it’s a tv show and we were promised more than was in the book, I didn’t expect so much to be left out. Nothing too important, but as I said before, it could’ve used better transitioning between scenes. I was left kind of disappointed and I can’t imagine not reading the books and being expected to follow this
On that note, explanations were iffy. It felt like they wanted to rush through explaining stuff to get to other parts which is fine for us readers but I think new audiences might struggle to follow. There’s a lot of information that the audience needs to know and I don’t think they properly addressed everything
One thing that comes to mind as I’m typing this is the wheelchair. They never show what it’s for. They introduce Chiron at camp as a centaur and have him be one for the entire time and so to an unknowing audience there’s just a random empty wheelchair during a scene. If they weren’t going to use it, they should’ve cut that out
The scene with the Cloven Elders felt unnecessary. I get they want to explore other POVs outside Percy’s but nothing that happened in that scene felt necessary to the plot. Barely anything happens and most of what happens is explained verbally through Grover later. I wonder if the scene was cut for time but it probably should’ve been cut altogether. It didn’t add anything except a tiny bit of worldbuilding and having them go INSIDE the tree was weird and not even from the books. There’s like a whole forest inside the forest which gives me Dodona vibes which it shouldn’t
As I said before, the acting isn’t great at times. That’s fine considering I was a House of Anubis stan once (hence the icon). Acting is honestly not the most important part of a show as long as they have interesting characters with good chemistry (which they do!) but still pulled me out of it a bit. Some of the delivery was kind of dry
There were multiple times when I thought the direction could’ve been better. It wasn’t necessarily the acting (although that was part of it). For example, which Annabeth says “you drool in your sleep”. She says it very monotonously and matter of fact and just stared at him unmoving which is fine cuz I think that’s how it worked in the book but I think it might’ve worked better if she said it more petulantly and hurried away. This is very nitpicky tho and is mostly just opinion
Speaking of Annabeth, though: I wanted to see her more! I get we will see her plenty throughout the season but I love her and would’ve liked her to be introduced sooner. She meets Percy earlier in the books so she could’ve been introduced sooner. I also want to see her and Chiron interact (which we will hopefully get ep 3) so we can see that father daughter relationship. (I did like the way she was introduced though. They did that really well. I just want to see her more🥰)
A note for the next ep promo: WHY did it spoil that they were gonna be meeting Medusa??! That was supposed to be a surprise and they just gave it away in the PROMO????
One last thing cuz I’m mad. I already made a separate post about it but THALL-EE-UH???? That’s literally how I pronounced it when I first read it and was repeatedly told it was wrong and it was TALL-ee-uh so I switched my brain over and NOW you tell me I was right??? I knew some pronounciations were gonna be wrong but I was PRETTY SURE about that one
I definitely had more thoughts while watching (some that are extremely nitpicky that I’m going to force myself to ignore) but I didn’t take notes while watching and am already starting to forget details. Overall, I did love it, but I think a lot of the love came from my existing love of the series. I first read PJO 13 years ago and it was the first book series I truly fell in love with and remains my favorite to this day. A lot of feelings are my love biasing me both positively and negatively, and it makes me wonder if I would have chosen to continue watching the show if I hadn’t already had that love. Honestly, I don’t think I would. However, I do plan on continuing to watch and support and hopefully the rest of the season goes well!
#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo#Gonna watch again either tonight or later this week with my brother#so I’ll probably add more thoughts later#i have so much hope for this show which is both a good thing and a bad thing#too many expectations can lead to great disappointments and I’m trying my best to contain them#because i#the things I do love I love very much#i just think there are some flaws that irk me a bit#please dont hate me these are just opinions and anyone who knows me knows I’m incapable of not sharing my opinions#they also know that I’m super negative about shows that I love#i always say I’m like a parent#i point out your flaws because I love you#(you can probably get an idea of how I grew up lmao)#anyways I said I was gonna clean the house so I gotta do that before my artificial dopamine goes away
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They’d really add Boimler and Mariner (two characters from WAY in the future) in SNW and still refuse to have an Enterprise episode
#star trek#star trek enterprise#star trek snw#star trek strange new world#star trek lower decks#papas mistakeria special#btw this is coming from someone who has not watched SNW (I'm still on my priest brainrot and will get to that later) so correct me if wrong#like damn at this point a mention of archer and gang for a split second would be so cool#proposal- have dominic keating come back as Admiral Malcolm Reed in one episode and it just goes from there#i'm desperate for enterprise content pls i need food#no hate to SNW btw I think it's cool and awesome. I still really wanna watch it sometimes later lmao
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theres something soooo important to me about ichi and aokis fight and ichi punching his glasses off and then him going a lil cray cray and then ichi calling him masato at those behated lockers. like hmm theres something so important about it to my 'any semblance of family makes me emotional' brain it makes me violent i think
yeah (tearful) (depressed) (agonized)
#snap chats#the ending of y7 still really gets me cause im a little baby who took it far too personally#ill spare everyone my villain origin story for once cause i know im just gonna get bullied to hell and back for it ☠️☠️#but yeah. i hate the absolute very end of y7's ending but everything before it... oof..... REALLLYY hits me hard....#i cant ever watch it normally i cant ever get through it and be normal afterwards#it just hurts i guess is how i can describe it LMAO I KNOW IM A BABY BUT SHUT UP#MY BABY FEELINGS ARE MY BABY FEELINGS GET OUT OF MY TAGS#on that note. hope to see Literally Anyone at the livestream later <3 ill make a post when its bout that time
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Me, struggling to maintain my principles that hating on straight people is more harmful to our community than helpful, when I see videos of young straight girls screaming MOTHER IS MOTHERING at Mitski shows:
#‘But how do you know they’re straight’ good point. However#From my own personal experience it’s straight girls who think they’re allies because they watch RPDR who act this way#Most often anyway#Either way whether you’re queer or straight#Let’s save that shit for drag shows yeah?#People kept doing it at Ethel Cain too and it irritated the shit out of me#No wonder she’s off most social media now and hates touring lmao#Time and fucking place people#Drag shows: have at it. Quiet intimate concert: shut the fuck up#The entitlement. The lack of concert etiquette. What the fuck happened???#Every day I feel myself turning more into a bitter old gay because the young uns don’t make life easy for me#And they’re not even that much younger than me lmao#People don’t act this way at Iron Maiden I’m just saying#Anyway. Must. Stick. To principles…#might delete later#personal#rant#vent#mitski#ethel cain
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going to go lie in some grass and scream into the dirt or smth and see if things are a little better after that
#nothing like waking up at 6am to study for an exam that you are unbelievably fucked for and then getting a call an hour before said exam#to find out that a friend of yours is missing. bc. that’s. so .#and i’m not even in the same fucking county. what am i supposed to do about this#and i was told by a mutual person who i am no longer friends with bc of a falling out that was similiar to this lmao and woah#idk if u’ve ever answered a phone at 11am on 2 hours sleep. half high from exhaustion. 2 a person talkin to you with Hate in their voice#but it’s wild#if i ever die from a curse or smth it’s bc of her#i am so v bad with not being able to do nothing and i can feel myself shutting down and can and don’t want to do anything to stop it#just got to get through these exams and hope that she’s found and ok. i just. idk. i’m just tired and i want to hug her and have her tell me#about her gf who i find so annoying but she loves and steal her socks bc they have cool designs and watch spiderman like we’re 15 again#three days. three fucking days she’s been gone and no one told me#i want to not have to miss ppl. i want to not have to do another reading in a church. i want to refuse to eat her terrible baking. i want to#listen to her tell me everything i do wrong in life even tho that’s kind of awful. i want to sleep. i want. i want#ignore this i just needed to get it out so i didn’t give out to ppl where it wouldn’t do any good#at least i found out what was being hidden from me lol#delete later
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think i'd actually rather die than read another fic where the main plot point is cas trying to make up for something "bad" he did
#if I wanted to see cas be ostracized and given the cold shoulder I would just watch the show#obv I stopped reading as soon as I realized what was going on i don't hate read lmao#istg tho fics where it's like ''cas messed up!! im sure sam and dean have never done that before how can he make it up to dean 😔''#like cmon now#it's even weirder in au fics cos in the show cas only fucked up cos he was certain what he was doing would fix smth#Or he was trying to save the winchesters#but in au it's just like. Oh there was a good job opportunity and dean said smth mean so he left FOR 10 YEARS#cas only ever left dean for personal reasons I think when he divorced him in s15#and that was after dean blamed him for pretty much everything going wrong ever and not showing any sympathy for his dead child#And he STILL came back to the bunker like 2 seconds later lmao#i get that translating things into au is hard but cas leaving for any other reason than he has.to is just so strange to me#just a rant post I'm done now <3#cas my best friend cas
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tw for ed talk in the tags so like,,, idk be mindful of that i guess if you happen to read the tags of this post? just need to vent to the void a lil lol
#tried vlogging today#one of those “day/week in the life of an artist/etc etc etc” vlogs#because i love watching studio vlogs but also i wish there were more from webtoon/comic creators so I was like except that like... y'all#it should be illegal for me to point a camera at myself 💀#Me: I'll do a vlog!#Also Me: forgets I'm ugly as fuck 🤡#this is why I don't allow people to take my photo lol#anywayyyy decided NOT to vlog bc literally No one wants to see *gestures to myself* any of this lmaoo#Also apparently it's time to double down on that diet 👍 :/#which is like: I already only eat like around 1200 calories a day or less most of the time wtf am I supposed to do now lmao#Anyway i hate getting reminders that despite having ED I can't lose weight and like... then what the hELL is the USE of having debilitating#eating disorder issues if I can't even lose weight while I'm at it 💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡#Funky's personal tag#please ignore this I'm just venting and don't got no one in my personal real life that won't get annoyed at me if I vent to them irl lol#delete later#lol tumblr is such a bad website it totally fucked the tags on this post lmao
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Thinking about how The Newsreader S2 will start apparently in July 1987, after The Newsreader S1 finished in April 1986, and a year of things will have happened???
Sorry I dislike time jumps so it’ll be like, of course Helen and Dale as newsreaders are successful (look at them) but it’ll be a shame to not see a year of all the characters’ changes and relationships. What has happened with Dale and his confusion, has he just focused on his work? Did Helen’s dad die? Have Noelene and Rob been dating? What’s happened with Tim and Dale? Why is Geoff still alive?
Too many questions. I hope they’ll find a way to answer them all of course, it’s a great show so I believe they’d pull it off and have done this for a reason. I just dislike when we miss out on significant things in the lies of characters I love. I guess the things that are left out will be filled by fic!
#the newsreader#don't usually tag my random newsreader thoughts#anyone else got thoughts on this tho?#maybe they'll do flashbacks if there's anything important#to not see anything significant and just see it talked about will annoy me personally lol#ofc dale will be in a gay bar so not still entirely suppressing though but stillllll#will it be like hello 1 year later he's fine in a gay bar now lmao#or 1 year later he's suppressed himself but now will unsuppress again#yeah I hate time jumps if I didn't say lmfao#watching the trailer is that helen dancing with that rich looking guy#when do I get a release date I'm suffering lol
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the modders in my fc being evil to my bnuuy (and hien lmao)
long explanation in tags if curious
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#zenos galvus#bastard man lmao#okay so HOPEFULLY people know why putting zenos in hien's clothes is fucked up and evil lmao#YOU KILL MY FATHER YOU SUBJUGATE AND TORTURE MY PEOPLE YOU STRETCH OUT MY PANTS#but anyway the lore of my rabbit he had a similar attack on his tribe which resides nearby garlemald's mainland#howlen (bnuuy in question) literally watched zenos slaughter his brother and mentor in front of him#and then zenos took howlen prisoner to which for the next four years of his life he was constantly tortured indirectly and directly by him#granted in the lore zenos has several times saved howlen's life but only bc 'hey only im allowed to torment him' reasons#so at the end of these four years zenos lets howlen loose to 'go get stronger and impress me when you come back'#howlen gets his ass kicked in ala mhigo but rather than kill him zenos is like. nah i cant thats my rabbit he can try again.#(the hien being howlen's bf is in the lore they bond over fucking hating zenos lmao)#('man he sucks' 'you have no idea')#fast forward to endwalker. howlen finally thinks hes killed zenos. finally. fucking finally.#but his own voidsent was not strong enough to fully devour and conquer zenos' soul#so later when howlen is in doma helping rebuild and is asked to go get some furs hes like 'yeah okie i havent practiced with voidy in a bit#so he goes and summons his voidsent and man. this bitch looks different. his original voidsent was wolf like and now its uhhhh#a mix of shinryu and zenos and neither howlen nor zenos are happy about this arrangement#'YOU CANT EVEN KILL ME RIGHT????' 'I THOUGHT I DID LEAVE ME ALONE ITS HARD'#but anyway tldr#zenos is fully convinced howlen is His and its so fucked up and evil and funny that my fc does this to him#*me minding my business as howlen* are you porting shinryu again#'yeah'
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I've gone through a character arc today. I'm... better(?) now
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#turns out shoving all my grief down and refusing to process it in fear of experiencing negative emotions is detrimental to me#i just went through all my pictures of cassy. experienced again what a loverboy he was...#cried again. twice. miserable experience honestly. i dont know how people do this more than a few times a year.#i have a few videos of him. including him watching a bird video on my computer.#unfortunately i never did capture his meow. which breaks my heart but there's nothing i can do about it now.#i'll just have to hold that sound in my memory. his obnoxious 'mraaaa' that could get comically long when he was begging for food#it hurts. but i'm allowed to remember that i loved him. i'm allowed to remember what he was to me.#an obnoxiously bullheaded cat that was strangely skittish at the same time.#it was annoying at the time but i treasure the memory of when he got out of my apartment unit#and i went chasing him up and down the stairs of the central area several times yelling 'cassy get BACK here!'#as he loudly did his 'MRAAAA' the whole time as he ran from me#my baby boy. tally loved him too. it hurts my heart that i cant communicate to her what happened.#no wonder she hates june bug so much. her friend disappeared & then a few weeks later theres This weird new cat#hopefully in time she can be friends with june bug too. there was a solid month or two where she haaaated cassy lmao#before a switch was flipped and she was grooming him every time he sat in front of her.#cassy may have lived for too short of a time. but he was very very loved. and i can see that in the records of him.#he was purring for me in the end. my sweet loverboy...#... i was going to try writing before work today but it seems like it's a grief processing day.#oh well. it's probably better for me overall.#negative/#sure. i guess.
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That hate anon i got is still really funny to me lmao
#I deleted the post but still it was so funny#*points* TWITTER USER#I would post it but I don’t want it to get attention plus I talked about it some last night#But I deleted it but most of y’all saw it anyway#But it was so funny I could just TELL they where a Twitter user from the race in bio part and thinking I was cultural appropriating#Btw I think everyone should watch OctoberrKs video on it bc they have a really good channel and videos go support them#They go over the topic well#Tldr anon said I was doing cultural appropriation with basing pogo on WELL KNOWN mythology with care and thought put into it-#-just because I didn’t have my race in my bio#Like?? Do kids now just NOT know Internet safety like I swear to god#But yeah it was funny lmao me and some friends had a good laugh about it#Like by the anons logic any kind of god of lighting or god of the underworld is cultural appropriation of Greek mythology#Also nyakuza metro is like RIGHT there just saying like bestie idk how to explain it but Ahit in canon has Japanese influences right there#Just wanted to make a new post considering the one I did last night was a bit messy and now I have a chance to organize my thoughts#Diversity win I got my first hate anon and they weren’t even correct about what they where talking about!!!🥳🥳🥳#Lmaoooo#grace post#Might delete this post too later? Idk I don’t wanna stir up anything even if the anon was in the wrong still I don’t like drama#I can see where they got the idea from but like??? Bro that’s not what the word means#Having a character based on another culture with care thought and research put into them is different then being intentionally malicious#Like I said *points* TWITTER USER
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despising something that used to bring you such great joy feels like mourning
#sally speaks#personal#got an email update for a fic i haven't kept up with for years for my past random and felt nothing but disgust#and that like immediately took me out because when did it become like that? when did i start hating it?#and tbf it's mostly from bad experiences in the fandom and not the source material itself but like...still#this is why I'm always so hesitant to get into new things#because what if later on down the line i regret reading/watching/listening to it? and then this devastation comes back to me#wow we gettin real sad at 2:30 in the afternoon today lmao#anyways i finally unsubscribed to the fic lol the author turned into such an arrogant prick it's sad
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i think the reason why people feel like marvel is in its flop era is NOT because of the diversity but because there’s no overarching plot binding all their stories together atm
#like wasn’t that marvel’s whole appeal??#watch all these movies so you can understand avengers and all the references and such#so that it could come to a head for endgame or w/e#so without that uhhhhhh what’s the point lmao#are marvel’s characters that interesting to y’all?? really?? you guys Like doctor strange and wanda??#like the fact that people still care enough to go watch it in theaters like. willingly. insane to me#especially when they claim to hate marvel 🤨 why do u keep giving them money then lol#not to blame the consumer but u know what i mean#‘omg i hate marvel’ ‘ten seconds later me and the bestie’ vibes#anyways.txt
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I was watching the Podalydès version of Cyrano de Bergerac this time from start to finish and... I'm so stupid xD
#I just realised due to the mole near his mouth that the actor playing Christian in the version I'm watching isn't Éric Ruf lmao#I was baffled by the fact that there being two recordings both used the same Christian; me being mistaken then makes sense#Now I'm super super curious about Éric Ruf. I like the other Christian despite how much he screams#but it's true that he doesn't feel as intense in his gazes as Éric Ruf is in those gifs and clips @ride-a-dromedary posted#I thought it was due to the recording but it's obviously him and now I'm even more curious about his Christian#Why are DVDs for theatre productions so expensive#I'm utterly unable to recognise people most of the time if not for specific characteristics#such as moles‚ scars or particular noses/eyebrows/bone structure. I rely a lot on their voices and how they move#So being like this I guess it makes sense that I couldn't tell the actors apart#But also I feel so terribly stupid. I hate not noticing these things hahaha#Cyrano de Bergerac#Christian#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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i really wish i could just intern in a writers room full time or something instead of going to my stupid competitive college doing things i dont care about with a completely sadistic workload for an insane amount of money just slowly killing myself over time for no god damn reason. that would be so much simpler and perhaps, maybe, possibly, enjoyable even. but i guess this is my life for the next one and a half to two years. haha. and for fucking what. to go into an industry where i'll be even more overworked and with higher stakes and where i'll just waste time rotting away for the foreseeable future for the sake of some dead eyed company or whatever else. really bleak existence if i do say so myself
#kibumblabs#negative#delete later#i really wasnt made to function in this world#really really wasnt#im not capable of normal work. a normal social life. any kind of aspirations come and go and in the end#im always unmotivated and hate whatever im doing. or i just stop doing it for no reason.#my obsessive tendencies are really over the top these days and i can not do anything outside a specific interest at the moment#i cant like things a healthy amount and distribute my time and focus evenly between things i just go all out on one thing at a time and#everything in the world is suddenly virtually irrelevant. or like. i still care about certain things but all motivation or effort put into#them just. dies.#this is the third summer in a row im realizing that ive spent alone just watching my health and my sanity get annihilated over time#and when i say health i really mean it not just my mental health. last year it was me becoming dangerously underweight (100lbs at 5'7) and#all the shitty side effects that come with that (constant stomach problems constant shakiness constant fatigue etc). this year my weight's#fine (probably thanks to testosterone) but my sleep patterns have become. well. not patterns anymore.#random intervals for tiny amounts of time. its really no wonder why im losing my fucking mind lmao#anyway im gonna shut up now. i'll delete this later cause i know im gonna regret saying any of it and cringe
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