Tumgik
#was just gonna say tired but now im gonna tell u abt my day i did that thing with the. like stick food in your mouth and they bite it. yea
monggay · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mechtober day 1: once upon a time (in space)! its. late lol
175 notes · View notes
suguruplsr · 2 months
Note
Can we please get a Suguru × overworked Waitress reader? It can be fluff, maybe light angst from the reader, I'm all for the spice/smut as well 🩵🩵🩵
(btw you're one of my favorite writers on here, pls never stop🩷)
Let Me Do It
Tumblr media
,, x fem! reader , fluff + light angst + suggestive ending? <3
note: ty nonnie, that makes me so happy to hear. i try my best babes <333
divider @/chachachannah
Tumblr media
Friday, 9:05 PM • [suguru] to [you]: u off right abt now? picking u up today.
Friday, 9:10 PM • [you] to [suguru]: mhm, getting my things. i’ll bring u that frappe you like <3
you smile at the incoming message of suguru letting you know he’s on his way, thanking you for the drink. you double check your things, putting them next to each other before walking out of the break room.
the usually bustling cafe was hushed, the lo-fi music in the background playing more clearly without voices over it. the few coworkers leaving gave you their goodbyes as you head to the kitchen, starting on the mocha frappe suguru would regularly ask for in the drive-thru. humming the tune of the song in your earbud, you consider grabbing an extra drink or making a bag of food for yourself.
unfortunately, while in a time limit and a body that desperately needs to lay down, your indecisive mind convinces you to grab a donut, and quickly fry a medium sized pack of fries. an odd choice sure. but you recently got off your period, let a girl live.
your phone buzzes in your back pocket as you pack up the food items. with a small pep in your step, you head to the break room, catching your manager. “[name]! just the one i was looking for— i just wanted to thank you for taking extra hours this week, i was hoping if you could do it again next? you’ll be compensated greatly.” she smiles as if she couldn’t see the visible signs of tiredness upon your face.
your stomach turns disgustingly from the sight of her uncanny expression. you’re finally about to experience your two days off on the weekend, after multiple tiring days that rank from you waking up at dawn, working morning to night. “uh, im not entirely sure. i’ll call you before monday.” you don’t have the heart to tell her no, even if you know you’re teetering on the line of total exhaustion. you manager grins, clapping her hands together, “thank you so much! i’ll be waiting for that call. have a good day [name]!” you mutter a ‘you too’ as she disappears to her office, dread filling your body.
you know, once you try saying no, she’s gonna tell all the things as last time. about how business is harder after she fired some workers, or how much she could really use your help. all the same manipulation that makes your weak heart endure work tirelessly.
you shake your head, remembering that suguru was probably outside by now, considering the periodic buzz of your phone, and settling your things in your large work bag. which was basically a big purse, it’s been pretty helpful since you started bringing bags of food home. deciding that you don’t want a mocha mess in your purse, you carry the drink to the black BMW just outside of the establishment.
you see suguru leaning on the vehicle, his expression softening once he sees you, his arms opening invitingly, “hey baby.” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around you when you move eagerly into his hold, just needing to feel him. and his warm embrace quells all of the distress in you. you let out a deep sigh, body melting like jelly and turning your head to kiss his throat. “hi..” you whisper, “hi.” suguru smiles, looking down at you.
but your stomach turns when his lips form into a frown, eyebrows furrowed, “get in the car f’me.” he speaks in a hushed tone, kissing your forehead and walking with you to the passenger door, opening it for you. you get settled into the car once he closes the door, smelling the aroma of roses coming from the rose thorn air freshener hanging on the rear view mirror.
suguru turns his head to you after slowing down at the red light, just a few blocks away from home. you’re laid back with your eyes closed. and his eyes find the places on your body that signify your terrible exhaustion. like the eye bags you hate so much. hair more unkempt than how you like it, mainly because you’ve kept it in one style most of the week. or how you haven’t had time to wear any of the pieces of jewelry you love so much.
he can’t help but feel discomfort tingle in him as he thinks about the off handed comments you’ve mentioned about your manager for the past few weeks. all mostly with a roll of your eyes, or a sorry smile because of the extra hours you put in. it all makes suguru consider grabbing that phone of yours and giving her a piece of his mind.
but the small sounds of your snores bring an unconscious smile to his face, pressing on the gas.
you awake to your head hitting one of the uncomfortable pillows on your couch, body secured in suguru’s hold as he lays you on the couch. “hm?” you groan, blinking your eyes in confusion as suguru smiles down at you, “gonna go get your stuff from the car, i made dinner earlier, it’s on the stove.” your hearts warms from his words, a dreamy sigh barely leaving your lips as he parts from you with one of his forehead kisses, your favorite.
once he’s slipping out the front door, you stretch with a yawn, smelling a lingering scent of one of the many incense he owns, mixed with the smell of your favorite food. as you’re fixing your plates, you hear the front door close, footsteps moving throughout the house before heading towards you, and the sound of your lover slurping his drink begins to get loud. seconds later, arms wrap around you, a half empty drink in his hand, “have i ever told you how much i love you?” suguru kisses your neck, a strong whiff of mocha within his breath.
you cringe with a giggle hidden in your voice, “mmm, i dunno. i’m sure you love that frappe. considering it’s gone after..how long? three minutes?” you chuckle, putting down the utensil used to set the food on the plates, and laying your head onto his shoulder while he begins to pepper kisses around your face. “s’too good baby. but go sit down, let me finish this for you. bag’s in the room..” suguru gives you a firm little squeeze on your waist, taking away the plate in your hand and stepping back to let you escape his hold.
you allow him to take control, raising a brow at his catering. “is something wrong?” you question with a tilt of your head watching as he moves swiftly around the kitchen. you only gain his silence for a few moments, admiring the black graphic tee that his muscles would flex through every now and then, long hair swaying. you love seeing that slightly annoyed expression of his whenever his bang gets in his way. and you know it won’t be long until he’s asking you to trim it for him.
“well.. you seem more tired recently. and of course, i love seeing you work hard. but i just don’t want you touching a single thing when you’re home, you do too much at work already. just let me make your life a bit easier baby..” suguru sighs, eyes holding his grimace. bothered from the mere thought of you overworking yourself, just saying it is hard enough for him. as he goes to grab some silverware, facing you, he’s greeted with the sight of you silently crying, hurriedly wiping your eyes as he quickly moves over to you.
“s-sorry. you just —“ you hiccup, trying to gulp down the heavy feeling in your throat as suguru pulls you into a heartfelt hug that only makes you break down more, wrapping your arms right around his neck. “you don’t have to talk.” his whispers, “but i want you to know how much i appreciate you, i really needed this.” you mumble, sighing in content as he lifts you up, meeting your gaze with a boyish smile, despite your wet crying face, and pecking your lips.
“yea?”
“yeah..”
“wanna tell me about it?”
“not yet.. in the morning.”
suguru hums in acknowledgement, walking towards your bedroom door as you hold his face dearly, kissing around his lips before giving him a long deep kiss. “god.. you don’t know how much i love you..” and he huffs against your lips, rolling his eyes with a grin that sticks to his face, cheeks hurting. “i’m pretty sure you can show me another time. all about you t’night baby..”
304 notes · View notes
dazyskiie-luv · 6 months
Text
Overblot mc/yuu but...????
TW — mention of vomiting, fighting Crowley and winning (sorry Crowley lovers), past death. I like thinking a lot tbh
not necessarily angst but it is in here! Same with fluff...this was really just me rambling.
* EDIT: WHY DID IT TAKE HOURS UNTIL I FINALLY GOT TOLD I WAS WRITING OVERBLOT WRONG.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I think about MC overbloting a lot and I also think about adding it into my own books because of how??? good??? the idea???? is???????
I genuinely imagine that even from the start MC was in danger of overbloting themself, with the stress and despair of finding out they aren't in THEIR world, away from their (family and/or friends) with possibly NO WAY BACK EVER because of some egocentric crow refusing to do more than he wants to???????
They would obviously be hella upset, stressed, depressed, anxious, etc because they know NOTHING of this world and is practically a BABY among people who lived here THEIR WHOLE LIFE.
So as more overblots happen, the more their OWN overblot is brewing. Bubbling, waiting to enter the game. Especially with the magic always getting slashed onto them. I think the only reason why they HAVEN'T overbloted just yet is because of grim
a more personal headcanon; Grim's fire, when you have a close bond with him, sorta starts erasing your blot and fueling HIS flames, making it more powerful. Essentially, think of when you're close friends with someone... you'll find it easier to fight for them right?? like you have more power to do that??? that's what its like
Now think of when MC is just TOO deep in their mind, TOO deep into their emotions and its the ONE TIME grim isn't there to help. They go to throw up blot and after panicking for a bit they just accept it. They accept that "I'm gonna overblot and probably die" because they're just too tired to worry abt themself
They don't tell anyone and since the overblot is already taking over the entire inside of their body, grims flames can't really???? get it all???? It'll always be there and it'll continue to grow and slowly grim notices that when he's feeling more powerful than ever while MC is showing obvious signs of getting ready to overblot
Grim choosing not to say anything to other people would be like... i guess out of character but at the same time i think In character????? He knows how tired MC is with dealing with everyone and honestly he's tired of it too so YASSS SLAY HENCH-BESTIEEE!!!!!
Sooner or later the others would notice too and it would be a little late to help MC since the overblot is already seeping out of their skin like they're crying. and honestly? their body IS crying. it's crying blot. And even as everyone is screaming and panicking about MC, they're just... sitting there.
Like they're annoyed everyone is making a big deal out of it considering no one cared before, and they're just like "stfu we're in class" and then focus on the teacher going "u can continue im sorry abt that."
And everyone is just??? confused?? because why aren't they going haywire or like.....???? idk..... crying in pain....????? what...........
MC just chilling the entire day while overbloting, even their overblot monster just floating behind them in peace and waving at times when people look for too long while everyone else is wary and giving them (+ grim who's always in MC's hold) a bunch of space while the teachers and dormleaders have their pens/wands/wtvr thr fuck at command just incase
but then everyone just realizes that??? MC isn't gonna???? do anything?????? and it kinda irritates them because why aren't you doing shit its freaking them out.
And lets say,,, ortho... as discreetly as he can... scans you. And it shows that you're perfectly fine??? like you aren't dying or in pain. It even shows the Blot monster being alright too like its just a guy standing there.
And now the confusion is up to 100 because WHAT????
MC and the Blot [+ Grim] just doing their everyday assignments and eating in the cafeteria with their friends being visibly tense and MC just raises an eyebrow like "whats wrong with yall tf" before continuing to absolutely DEMOLISH a burger they got for free. FREE!!! best day ever fr they'll tell you that much
I feel like the Blot would get sorta aggressive/protective when it comes to people who has like hurt MC to the point they had to take a nurse visit (half of the school but its alr we gang fr) but when it comes to crowley....??? They'll see the FULL POWER of a magicless blot monster which is actually more terrifying than the others.
The blot going hulk on crowley is so funny to imagine for me cause he'd just be running away and suddenly gets smashed into a pillar from a literal stomp. just one. and it was relatively weak compared to the Blot AND MC picking up and swinging that SAME PILLAR to smash it into crowley.
All that anger and other negative emotion finally coming out the SECOND they even so as HEAR that crows heartbeat nearby. It gave everyone whiplash but then again they also all collectively thought that he deserved it considering he hasn't truly done anything to HELP the students but just to HELP the schools reputation.
I'm half certain a student died there and he just covered it up and they turned into a ghost that haunts places. (i mean... look at the three ghosts in Ramshackle. they used to be students there I'm pretty sure????? i forgot.)
As MC is beating the DOG SHIT out of crowley the Blot is just cleaning everything up slowly because they realized that they dirted up the place :( and when MC is done they help too as the teachers all circle around a throughly beaten and bruised Crowley who has blood seeping out of his mouth while being half awake.
Of course they help him don't die because they honestly don't want the one helpful person to go to the equivalent of jail in twisted wonderland for committing murder and ykw thats so real.
I feel like as Mc stays in this overblot form everyone thats close-ish to them gets memories of things that's happened to them in the past like how MC did. But it's worse. I want an mc thats traumatized im sorry and i want it to be worse than what half of these guys went through.
I need them to feel guilty even more. Like. "Oh my god I really said that when— holy shit" FEEL BAD!!!!! Grim would already know their past because I know I would be cuddling into Grim's stomach and crying about everything.
When Mc finally stops "Overbloting", the Blot would still be there but as its own person :D How does this work????? it works bc I said it does.
The Blot™ would help MC a lot and vice versa, basically acting like parents now with how worried they get over everyone and the other. Grim is eating the attention up though as both Mc and The Blot cuddle as therapy (and bc they wanna)
Everyone (especially idia) would need time to like... get used to that because there's "NO FUCKING RECORD OF AN OVERBLOT BECOMING ITS OWN PERSON AND BEING....NICE?????"(shrouds words not mine ong) and when they do get used to it its like everyone is genuinely happier because! gasp! they are!!!
kick the crow out the seat. Both the Blot and Mc are the new headmaster contrary to the students voting them when Crowley got demoted from it.
I also feel like....??? Instead of MC goinf back home cause they realize just how BAD it was back home, they choose to have a bridge between both realities so that its their (friends and/or families) choice on if they want to be with them in twisted wonderland or not.
Tumblr media
MC & Blot beating the shit outta Crowley as everyone watches (and cheers)
154 notes · View notes
bones-of-a-rabbit · 6 months
Text
u can never have too many au ideas (aka the cursed-sun/moon au)
(im copy n pasting this from discord bc im lazy sorry y'all fsjhf)
other au idea: Sun is a ruler or lord in a fantasy world or smthn and Moon is the form he's been Cursed into turning into each night. Reader is a low-tier magic-weilder (who has a secret past that involves smthn rlly Bad and they used to have a reasonable amount of respectability in th community but now theyre shunned and cant get a job anywhere and also has a big scar and/or only one eye lol) who's one remaining ability is the ability to lift minor curses or plagues. Sun has been searching for someone who can 'bless' the curse of Moon (or whatever is making Moon be nasty murderous bloodthirsty man) for ages but mages r rare and most of them spend maybe one night trying to cure Moon before either getting got or being scared into getting tf outta there
so eventually word reaches Sun of a mage who's been looking for work, with the only catch being that they arent very powerful and no one has much to say abt them, and Sun, who has burnt every single thread he has trying to find a mage, is like GOOD ENOUGH CALL THEM HERE
and reader is like 'oh shit this is potentially a rlly good job, the only catch is that i have to deal w a demon possessed guy thats like twice my height and three times as strong,,' and like. bc they have Zero Options and also feel like their life has run itself into th ground and there is little left for them/no way to get themselves out of their Issues, they r like 'yeah sure its gonna take a while bc i can only perform minor magic but i'll do whatever i can to see that this curse is delt with'
and instead of trying to face Moon head on, they start with just kinda,, getting to know him. he's kept chained/locked away in a chamber every night to keep ppl safe, but every night reader goes into the chambers, sits at a tea table just out of his reach, and just. talks with him
they dont entertain his trying to mess w them, taunting, cruelty, etc, but they talk when there's the chance for standard conversation. at first it's hell bc Moon is a little shit and he never cooperates. he never answers questions, he spends the entire night threatening to tear them apart and savor their insides, etc. they bring him a cup of tea every night, and every time he smashes the cup and throws the pieces at them
ok well point is eventually Moon starts to mellow out around them, will actually sit and have conversation with them, one day is like 'you think i dont know what youre doing?? youre just trying to bore me into falling for ur trap so u can kill me. i like ur style but its not gonna work >:3'
and reader is like 'i literally do not have enough magic to kill a toad let alone a whole entire possessed person' and moon is like ',, huh. so what IS ur goal here??' and reader is like 'i want to lift ur curse for both u and Sun's sakes. i gave u my word, and i will follow through, at the very least to clear my own conscience of a past sin'
and so eventually Moon, out of curiosity, and later bc he likes spending time with reader, starts letting them cast the healing magic on him, breaking the curse little by little every night
and at the same time all this is happening, reader is spending mornings and evenings with Sun and keeping him up to date on how the process is going and, eventually, becoming the person he turns to when he's stressed or tired or rlly just wants company
and idk smthn smthn eventually both of them rlly want Reader and they dont know how to act so they just b making fools of themselves but reader is a dumbass so theyre just confused
(Moon absolutely tells Reader abt every 'oh man i rlly wanna kiss kiss snuggle smooch the mage rn' thought Sun has during the day but Reader is so used to Moon being a little shit n making shit up to mess with them that they r just like ._. )
the plot twist part,,
(the secret dark past that reader is hiding is that they used to be a local mage for a nearby town who was known and respected for giving 'blessings' to ppl for small fees but one day for Reasons, they cast a curse upon someone and one of the biggest no-no's a mage can do is Curse someone so the town practically rioted, tore them down from their pedestal, called upon another mage to strip reader of their magic, and then cast them out)
(rn im considering the idea that the person reader Cursed is Vanny, who, because of her own curse, eventually went on to be the one who cursed Sun and Moon)
116 notes · View notes
munamania · 2 months
Text
so right a couple of my film friends and i met last night to do wine and glee and i left and tried to catch a bus in our gross rainy cold weather and so when it finally comes im just like zoo wee mama my glasses r fogging up and all that shit. but who of course is on the bus but my one friend the main perpetrator of acting like im some flaky cunt (rant city below)
so i guess technically this wouldnt look great on my part bc i was obviously Somewhere and had been ignoring the group chat making plans but oh my GOD whatever who careessssss who Cares. so im like fucking phenomenal ok walk back Omg hi and she moves her shit so i can sit and i get settled and am like hey. and she asks what i was up to and ofc when i say anything bc this is fucking awkward shes just got this stupid smug little smile but i was just sitting there like bitch im not gonna sit here and act embarrassed for seeing my other friends so i was just like So are u guys doing x tn and shes like mhm yep are you coming and i was like well gee i dont know. sarcastic shrug. make conversation about the timing of the place for a second kinda jokin then awk silence
and so then because im a chill normal adult and am aware that shes about to go meet the group of friends and no matter what this interaction is going to be brought up and i had been planning on composing a levelheaded text but i just said Look im sorry that i ghosted you guys (and shes again smug smiling nodding next to me. girl.) i just honestly got tired of feeling like im being singled out and judged when i cant make it to something and she literally is just like Well im sorry you feel that way just u know we do try to come up w different days etc (if u like me are bad at reading between the lines this was a non apology and defense based on uh Nothing) and i was like right well ik last semester wasnt great it's just that sometimes i feel like im being shunned in the group chats when no one answers or reacts to anything i say and the other day when you said like. yk the 'could u commit' thing that felt really sort of condescending
and shes like again well im sorry u felt that way i was just trying to find another day that u could actually make it cause i wanted us all to be there so im not really sure how that came across as condescending but um yeah. and i, jackass that i am (<3) pulled out my phone and pointed and said Well u see we didnt have actual plans and in fact no one answered when i said anything abt it and yk things come up and so for me to have sent this whole nice thing and just get 'do you think youd be able to commit' in response felt a little bit needlessly mean (and i also tried to earnestly say at some point in all this that i genuinely do love and care for them and want to see them but yk this Sucks and was just bad timing)
THEN we somehow spin into her going Well i just had no idea this was even a thing until you brought it up just now i mean i wasnt even thinking abt it ive never really thought that of you etc and so then im sitting here feeling like im being gaslit in real time not to be dramatic and i felt very much like when i was in high school and people manipulated me bc i was a very easy target (its not that real but w/e) and so im like Ok be calm but dont just like let that slide cause girl be serious (prob should have but what ever) so i was like well you know i do apologize if i just couldnt tell your intent over text, but after you guys never answered me about hanging out and then the short responses like maybe u can kind of see where i felt like you were being rude (didnt say it quite that bluntly w/e)
and she pulls out the big card. the. well i just think youre being defensive. oh years and years of being the youngest and punished for um having feelings lmfao slammed me in my chest at that moment. and i calmly said Okay cool i think youre being defensive. and i lit missed my bus stop cause this driver was swerving so then i was just like Well you guys have fun maybe ill see you tonight bye. so. really feeling awesome abt the state of that. in all reality tho it's like i hung out w some friends and then went out to the gay bar w others and danced and etc and i can only imagine how much of a Thing this was for them so. if someone could win it'd be me right
(on another note at some point during this ride sams roommate requested to follow me back <3 which i had been pretending not to think abt for the last couple hours) anyway
this has been a post let me know if im being normalish
Tumblr media Tumblr media
8 notes · View notes
sunshinezei · 8 months
Text
lately i've been rly stressed and i haven't watched going seventeen or anything from ateez like i used to
and idk just now i got the feeling like i miss them like i miss that alot i rly appreciate them
i think rn it's bc i'm feeling overwhelmed and alone and like sad and tired
but i don't rly listen to music as much anymore either and while that's kinda good bc bro when i tell u i used to wake up, roll over and grab my headphones to put them on and start playing music i am not exaggerating and they didn't come off until i went back to bed
i know there's something seriously wrong with me to be doing that
but i was listening to my playlist yesterday bc i was cleaning and doing laundry and i enjoyed illusion and pirate king so much and it just idk made me realize i miss ateez and seventeen and everyone
i used to watch their stuff often now idk i don't rly go on social media at all and like today for example the entire day all i did from the morning was watch the basement yard episodes
the entire day - i did nothing else
tiktok doesn't even hit as good as it used to i just get bored of scrolling at some point but that didn't used to happen i would have to get myself off the app by like being lowkey ashamed and being like bro i have no life what am i doing
all this sounds like it's in a good way like it sounds like i'm making good habits but that's not it i just am not enjoying things like i used to i rly hate it
it makes me rly sad haha
i'll try to figure it out
anyway i'm going to bed earlier today and if u read that post from earlier where i said i'd use my notion to plan my day and study and go out - i didn't end up doing any of that - i tried to plan it was not going well and it was hot as shit outside and i'm prone to passing out like a weak idiot so i didn't go out instead i just rotted in bed while watching podcast episodes
granted though - i did laugh alot bc the podcast is rly funny i appreciate joey and frankie alot for the comfort
and i made myself food for a few days
i cut stuff and cooked and that's always a decent time for me it's like relaxing - was it relaxing this time? not rly but still it happened and i got a healthy pretty good meal
since my relationship with food sucks i'm glad i have food for a few days so i don't have to think much abt it i can just reheat
i do have to make the main dish part after i probably run out of it tomorrow - i made a chicken, zucchini, carrot stir-fry with a soy sauce kinda idk sauce? i like cooking with more vegetables than meat and making saucy type food bc that stuff is easier for me to eat
but i made a bunch of rice so the side is figured out that's alot of pressure off eating it makes it alot easier to think abt
that's all i did and i'm going to sleep early because idk i actually feel exhausted but not in a omg i did so much today or i went out today im so exhausted more like a i'm going to pass out from nothing type exhausted
i could not explain it better idk
but even that i'm taking as a positive bc there's so much to feel bad abt that i didn't do today or just generally that i haven't been doing / been able to do - but yk what i did do today - eat a decent amount and drink water a decent amount
i think i'll feel better after i rest so i'm looking forward to tomorrow hopefully being better
maybe i can shower and go out then come back and study
who knows we'll see
it does feel bad when i start to set my goals for the day and they just don't look like they're gonna happen and they don't like that's what stopped me from continuing to try and plan the day bc what am i gonna schedule if im so exhausted i cant do anything
it's okay tomorrow's the perfect day to try again
and if it's not fuck it i'll say the same shit then too (haha i sound rly positive and cheerful here trust me i get tired rly fast it's just the alternative fucking sucks i can't do anything abt my issues when i get to a rly bad point so the best way to cope is try and do my best everyday and have things to look forward to in my days (usually made by me) and that helps - and even if it helps me smile even once or be like 1% less miserable that i appreciate from myself so yeah idk it's easier said than done def but u got this i'd say we got this but idk abt me i believe in u though)
u gotta not give yourself shit for not being able to do things some days
u can rest and try again later but some days the exhaustion will pile up and get to you and it's okay to just rest it'll help be gentle with yourself
the stuff i say sometimes gets me bc i can't rly do it but i try and i share it bc hey maybe someone else can start to try and do it or maybe think of their own thing that helps them i used to look for help online all the fucking time
anyway yeah rest well take care of yourself
don't push yourself when you're already not doing well
take a break, rest and continue after
gn take care <3
22:16 05/08/2023
6 notes · View notes
thegongoozlerreacts · 9 months
Text
Cemetery Mary: Reginald's Route
now im in the final stretch!! its time to play Reginald's route!! this time i will not look at the ending guide like i did for my other playthroughs bc idrc abt which ending i get first (i'll use the guide for getting the other ending)
i'll just try to avoid accidentally getting the true ending which shouldnt be too hard
now its time to play!! (spoilers below)
why did Reginald go to the cemetery also how did he finish that book so quickly?? welp now its time to meet up w him there he'll probably tell Mary why he's there anyways
OH HE MAKES COFFINS?????? ok then
LOL the way Mary's eyes light up at the fact that he's a coffin maker
Tumblr media
look at her she's so cute
he has a portfolio?? of coffins he's designed?? i mean i guess that makes sense cuz its a job and he needs like, proof i guess of his skill n stuff?? idk this is just stuff ive never thought of when i think of coffins or ppl who make them
Tumblr media
SHE'S ADORABLE MARY I LOVE U
'I'd love to be buried in one of those one day!' took me out i mean,,, im not that surprised cuz well yk but idk this is just?? so funny??
hmm interesting thing abt Reginald that i noticed is that he always says or does stuff that would make Mary happy bc he wants her to be happy i mean it makes sense cuz he's obsessed w her i guess?? tbh i know he's the killer cuz of the twyla good ending but i still dont know his motives or objective also that line about 'stop killing me, ok?' has been echoing in my head
like wtf do u mean?? what does that mean????? is it like a time travel thing?? when he said that i thought that in other endings there would be a scene where he died or smth idk but its only in twyla's good ending do we see him die all the other endings he just stops contacting her for no reason will he die in the endings of this route or smth???
i am so confused is Crowven her cousin or not he must be right???? theres literally an option right now that says 'crowven's my cousin' so ok wtv i will pick that cuz he is her cousin
OH THEYRE NOT BLOOD-RELATED i finally got an answer theyre just family friends
oh no is Crowven gonne die in this route or in one of the endings bc i hope not Crowven dying in the twyla bad ending emotionally scarred Mary and me and that was just an ending
if he dies during the route then i'll have to see more of Mary's grief and DUDE that would be so painful i literally cant
Reginald do not kill Crowven dont kill him!!!
"...And if ever really gets on your nerves, you can always give me a call." THIS IS JUST knowing he's the killer makes this line so fucking ominous also just further proof that he killed Theodore in the Crowven route like definitely
nahh Reginald's planning a murder for Crowven already pls,,, no,,,, ahh now its time for the diner part how will this go with Reginald i wonder
he didnt see anything cuz he was the guy!!! he's the one!!!
skipping ahead now here we are to the funeral scene and now we are out of the funeral scene LOL
shopping w Reginalddd for his murder weapons why is he making it a game?? maybe just to cheer her up since she was at a funeral??
AN AXE?????? and antifreeze bUT AN AXE????
"What else would you use an axe for?" oh my sweet innocent Mary,,,,
i feel like he let her win on purpose but im not sure LOL depends on what the prize is i guess
"You haven't been spying on me, have you?" hahahahhahahahhahh UR THE ONE WHO IS SPYING ON HER
do i talk about the axe or do i talk about the rat poison
hmm i think i'll go w the rat poison
REGINALD TEXTING HER AFTER SHE TALKS TO THE MYSTERY NUMBER
you're not slick, im onto youuu
oho so he's gonna show her how he makes coffins
at least i know that he wont kill her
that is some really crunchy grass
Tumblr media
LMAOAOOAOAO I WASNT EXPECTING HIM TO LOOK LIKE THAT
he looks dead inside im cackling
Mary notices it too imm
Tumblr media
aww thats cute but he's still a murderer
why was he so like mad/tired tho?? whats up w his earlier expression??? also his eyebags just disappeared after he realized its Mary LMAOAOA tbh thats valid thats fair
Reginald looks very nice in that outfit i kinda want his clothes
aww Mary's so excited... to step inside the coffin... still she's so cute have fun in the coffin bc i know that he isnt gonna kill u
DID HE JUST LEAVE HER IN THE COFFIN??????
bro wtf just happened
um. wtf. hey who messed up the manga
like first of all how could u do that??? to a book?? and to a library book!??!?!?
second of all
Tumblr media
what the FUCK is this
this seems important but im not sure how
OH FUCK THE BOOK IS ALIVE WTF WTF WTF ITS CURSED ITS DEMONIC
oopsies she burned it
i feel bad cuz it was a library book BUT its deserved like completely deserved that thing was fucking cursed creepypasta style
she's gonna go inside of a church and just the mention of a church, for some reason, made me nervous
pls i hope nothing bad happens cuz it will be worse when it happens in a church
lol she feels an overwhelming sense of dread i think thats a normal thing to feel inside a church esp if u've not been in one theres just some kind of heaviness snd weight when ur in a church
oh is it because of the cursed manga???? bc she came into contact w it and now she's in a church??
nah im feeling scared gosh pls dont make a scene
the music is really adding to that vibe of nausea and dread
Tumblr media
YO WTFF
bro its definitely cuz of the cursed manga she just threw up whatever demonic shit she got from it
HELP ME AM I GONNA HAVE TO MAKE MARY SAY SHE'S REGINALD'S GF IMMMMMMMM
why cant she just say she was invited by Reginald as like emotional support or smth why gf..... well ok
MARY NO STAY AWAY FROM THE COFFIN PLS..... MARY
ok Reginald interrupted at just the right moment at least it was him and not some random stranger do i go his place or the bus stop??????
hmm lets go to the bus stop
ok nvm guess we're going to his place anyways
i am wondering how the coffin and the manga are connected if they even are LMAO
im also wondering if Reginald is dead, like a ghost or something but nah thats not possible twyla knows abt him and has talked abt him to Mary so he's not a ghost maybe a zombie???? but also thats probably not it either
i feel so bad for Mary :(( but also what the FUCK is happening
Tumblr media
OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE OF NIGHT VALE
im joking but OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE FROM THE MANGA
it was definitely cursed
oh was it a dream??
GOOD MORNING???? WAS SHE THERE ALL NIGHT??? or is he joking cuz he's still in his funeral clothes
ok he was just joking
hhhh idk if i should ask Crowven to stay or not cuz like idk???
ok i feel bad for making Mary all alone but it'll be fine right??? right???
knowing that the mystery number and Reginald are the same person makes sense honestly still its really a surprise cuz Reginald seems so nice n stuff but oopsies guess he's only nice to Mary in a twisted sort of way
whY WOULD U GO BACK TO THE CHURCH MARY PLS
aaAAaaahhhh she's talking to the priest i have no idea what to say so i will pick the middle option
idk what abt it but there's just something about the light shining on the priest, but Mary is covered in the priest's shadow something about that is just interesting
burning a wish?? THE MANGA????
tbh i cant believe that its shoujo manga of all things to be cursed(??) but also like alright sure
ominous note what the fuck does it mean
does it have smth to do w Reginald?? did Reginald write the note?? did he find some way to constantly reverse time bc of Mary or something??
'Makes me wonder how many variations I will see' gives me time travel vibes is this connected to Reginald's 'please stop killing me' thing?? probably
took a quick break from playing the game and ranted about my theories to my brother and he was like '???? wtf r u talking about'
back to playing
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN WTF IS THIS NOTE is god real in this game?? cuz theres an afterlife and ghosts but what abt god???
Tumblr media
Mary u r so nice u r so sweet i love u
Tumblr media
OH MY GOD ITS THE EYE THE EYE!!! FROM THE MANGA AND ITS THE SAME WRITING TOO
"After all, it's not like a grave would be going anywhere" u jinxed it u just jinxed it when u look for it it will be gone i swear
if i had done the Reginald route before the twyla good end i would be like 'aww the cemetery reminds Reggie of Mary how cute :))' but the alarms are going off in my head at that
oh fuck its twyla ok i wanna say 'wtf is happening' but i already know why twyla's so pissed off
but still damn
"I'm not a mean person" twyla more like twy-lie cuz ur a fucking liar
Tumblr media
is that graffiti on the wall the same as the grave
OH THERES AN EYE LOOKING AT MARY
lol twyla i think Reginald's gonna kill u for yelling at Mary "I'll get her to apologize to you" yooo Reg..... maybe chill "I'll be sure that she is sorry" YOO????
hmm makes me wonder why Mary never got any of twyla's messages tho
did Reginald kill her ???
oh shit the grave is broken and burned for some reason?? oh Mary looks so upset :((
Tumblr media
I FEEL SO BAD FOR MARY RAHJKSDJSSDJHA
but also what happened to the grave and the manga??? what happened????
hmm kinda sus that he wanted them to not go in did he poison someone?? n he didnt wanna go in cuz he didnt want Mary to see that?? who did he poison??
why am i being given options about how long Mary's lived there when its all the same answer anyways??
oh there just HAS to be some time travel thing going on he went '...yes' when Mary said that 'isnt it funny how long the both of us have lived here and only met a little while ago' like but why tho
oh he's nervous now lol he killed somebody definitely. he definitely has a murder planned for somebody here. one of the kitchen staff maybe?
I KNEW IT HE KILLED SOMEBODY but also i cant believe he just?? left Mary like that wtf??
wait did he kill Mary? thats black goo coming out of his mouth, the same black goo that Mary vomitted in the church what the fuck is happening
oh ok Mary's just seeing stuff bc of the cursed manga
Mary struggling to sleep is relatable
bro he was murdering someone im sure
she's calling him Reggie thats so cute
ooooh an aquarium thats cool
Tumblr media
SHE'S ADORABLE
this is such a touching moment. idk what to say but their talk in the aquarium is so sweet???
ok now its time for the sleepover part
Tumblr media
oh shit Reggie lore???? crazy
'just try not to shine it at me while i'm on the couch' its bc u wont be there right??? cuz ur gonna leave in the middle of the night to do sketchy shit arent u?????
oh shit twyla's in danger but for real this time i think???
REGINALD HMMM WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
OH SHIT HELPPPP HE DROPPED SOME BLOODY SCISSORS OH MY GOD
oHM Y GOD TWYLA IS DEAD
um?????? wait is he gonna kill her what waitwaitwait
HOLY SHIT WTF. WTF ??!?!??!!??!
that escalated so quickly i
ok so i got the bad ending,,,, im,,, i...... ok.
well then im gonna like,,, process this
holy shit dude wtf
2 notes · View notes
toxicpositvity · 2 months
Text
D.
i met D some months ago, in july to be exact. he's friends w my roomate (im gonna call him like that). thanks of him we met
D was a grown man (30y), and he showed sum interest on me. ive always knew those "feelings" were: sex interest. but never let anything happen, i aint dat idiot
i wouldnt say he used to do bad things. he was a lender, only lent money. he maintained his reputation and his clients very well, was on his own business. but bc of that kind of job, he got into some problems w real bad people.
debts. he had tones of debts and all them highly expensive for my thirdworld mentality. so the solution he found to this shit was, in short terms, fakin his death
well not really
he was foreign, like me. he pretended dat he came back to his country w/o telling anyone, literally just disappeared from the life of every single person he knows here overnight.
everyone, except of roomate. they were really close
D stayed in our apartment for no more than two weeks. remember the night he arrived he just covered every single inch of window rooms has w paper nd curtains, mf thought he was ana frank
besides my roomate i dont have friends here, so i spend most of my free time at home... homing
me and D spend all that week he stayed here together. literally i used to came back from work and he was just appearin from nowhere like "i made dinner for both, u must be tired" w a plate full of his home country food, or leaving all the house cleaned like he really wanted to be an oppressed woman iM joKIN
he didnt have phone. he was so paranoid dat he literally threw it at the fuckin wall after all that shit he lived that night he moved w us. he had a Tv and really friki-cool stuff like old collectible motorcycle toys, a projector, weird watches. we both used to have dinner on his room while watching the worst channel existed, just talkin. once we fell asleep together
it was sunday nd i was at work when roomate texted. still remembering the tears on D's reddish eyes when i came back home that day and he told me lookin at my face that he (now) literally need leave the country
D ate the burger that roommate bought for him in completely silence, w his mouth full of fries and the ocean dropping down his cheeks. sited between me and him
i saw the fear and the sadness on his eyes the last time we spoke. felt his body shakin under my arms as he whispered to my ear "i got out of this before, i can do it twice. please take care of yourself, i promise i'll contact you again some day."
he gave me his three tiny plants that night, and told me i can't let them die.
next mornin i woke up and went straight to his room. there was his bed, his stuff, his smell; but of course, not him. the sky was black in that moment bc of the clouds, around 10am or sum, and it rained all day.
a part of me —while watching the flowerpots in front of the window, hearing the fat drops of rain hittin the glass— i thought the sky was crying
crying for me, crying 'cause of him. i don't really know. i hadn't the urge to cry, just remember ive felted really emotional that day
D told me he will came back to his home country, but roommate spilled some lies D told. and he didn't
last thing i knew about him was thanks to roommate. D called asking for a bit of money, told him he was on colombia (like 14hours away), on his way to panamá
that was around a month ago. roommate hasn't talked with him again, neither i.
i cant say i miss him. but i still keeping his plants, and (w/o gettin despaired neither dedicatin my whole life abt it) i will wait for a text
Tumblr media
pic of the next day he left
0 notes
blackvail22 · 8 months
Text
i cannot help but become irritated when im near her. i know that is a toxic thing to say; i know its unhealthy for me. it just... happens
i tried to have a good day today because i was going out with my sister and b-i-l for my birthday and eating later with my whole immediate family. i did have fun! we bowled for 2hrs, went to a japanese bakery and got my birthday cake n some more treats, and i went to get milk tea.
everything was fine until i was near my mom.
i dont know what it is about her, but whenever im away from her for hours n i come back home, it just.... i just get so irritated.
i try to not talk so i dont get her irritated, but that always makes her go "aww, is someone mad?" or "why are you so pissed off for no reason" or gives me a look that shows shes seeing red.
on the way home from dinner, my parents were talking about a house that someone moved out of; they each gave different addresses for the house. my mom *insisted* she was correct, and--even though my dad literally said he may be wrong n doesnt rlly care abt the address--kept arguing that my dad was wrong and upset.
one thing abt my mom that i despise: EVERY SINGLE TIME you "irritate her soul" she will rant abt how much she hates you and at the end WITHOUT FAIL says "fucking trash bag bitch". what comes after that depends on the person... for me she'll say "fucking trash bag bitch, youre so fucking [r slur]" and for my dad she'll say "fucking trash bag bitch, child molesting mother fucker". there is one thats universal though which is "fucking trash bag bitch, i hope you fucking die"
oh! another thing abt that, SHE WILL LITERALLY SAY THAT ABT RANDOM PPL SHE SEES ON THE STREET AND ARE MINDING THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS
anyway, back to my story! while she was arguing w my dad (after telling me theyre not arguing) she said her signature line i stated above.
my dad went into the gas station after she said that to him and heres where i come in!
she was ranting to me "your dad get so upset over every little thing"
i said "well, you do that too"
she said "no he's just mad cuz he's wrong....he never fucking listens..."
*dad comes back to the car with 3 cigarette packs instead of 2 (my dad went into the gas station 4 my mom)*
"...again, he never fucking listens! he just hears what he wants to hear"
"yeah, i dont rlly want to listen to you rn. plus, all you said was 'cigarettes' you didnt say an amount"
"yes i did! i said '2 cigarettes'"
me: "no u only said 'cigarettes'"
mom: "dad, why are you mad?"
"because you keep going on abt something that doesnt matter to me!"
"no, its because youre wrong. youre all mad because youre wrong"
"no im not!"
*i look at the house through maps and tell them the correct address*
mom: "[my first name] shut the fuck up before you become homeless because youre getting real close"
dad: "stop fucking saying that! youre not kicking my daughter outm regardless, shes never gonna be fucking homeless"
*we get home*
dad: "i forgot to get smth to drink because of you"
mom: "yeah, you can get one of those little bottles [of alcohol] like you do every night" (my dad is a recovered alcoholic)
i told her she was irritating 🧍
she said "move tf out then"
i said "im trying to" (because i am)
im sitting in my room now wanting to scream, cry, fight. i feel so fucking .... tense. i feel tense. im so tired of having to deal with my mom. as much as living w a man by myself (even my dad) scared tf out of me, im so tempted to move into his tiny ass apartment and sleep in the living room. i cant live her anymore!!!
me n my friend have been talking abt getting an apartment/go apartment searching after i recover from my procedure that im having next week.
i need to room w her. i need to live w someone that doesnt fucking hate me! i need to save up every paycheck im having. even tho i go on a vacation end-october, im moving out and im going low-contact w my mom. i cannot deal w her anymore. i will get my license in a month/month-half time. im determined. i need to do anything to get away from her
0 notes
Note
FUCKING TUMBLR😡😡😡 i started to tell goodbyes already but then i had a skype call and he deleted everything😡😡 wtf bro i hate u.
hello babe sorry i never answered you yesterday. id been busy during the day and them too tired at night. so get my freezy love now<з
'EXPLAIN SOME OF MY SCHOOL WORK AND THEN TUMBLR CRASHED' im sorry for this TT but now we can mock the fuck out of tumblr together😡 would u like to explain this now?
'i spent an hour pouring my heart' if you need to pour your heart, u can always message me personally.
'we also have a holiday' im sorry im late to really congratulate(?) you but congratulations? what is the holiday, anyway?
'he was so annoying for that' for dying? i think i dont want you to say this abt me(
'what fmvs is. fan music videos?' yes! like edits but from my childhood hshahs lol.
'i love vivid songs like this' awww im glad. i think youd like the lyrics too. also the cover really represents the concept of something evil, capable of murdering people, comforting their partner who worths the murder on their behalf.
'i like you' !!🥺🥺!!!!🥺!!🥺!!!!!! love you TT i love you smsm🥺
'I JUST WING IT' HGKDHG i noticed it sometimes and had my assumptions but overall you were pretty accurate. what abt now?
'feel the same about my own language' NATIVE TONGUES SUPREMACY!!!!!
'i give you my warmth' its pretty warm here now thanks!! writers arent dumb, they try their best. so... yeah, actually they do good. its even funny how we feel abt these things bc.. idk feel like it?
'her bday is 2 days after mine!' oh congrats? ghdjjs realatable. every time i learn some celebrity is virgo or the earth sign im like !!!!!MY BABE!!!!!!!!!
'TALL AS HER BUT ALSO ID BE TOO POWERFUL' YAY! looking powerful is good if you like it. i believe in your power!
im gonna be whiny baby here so ignore this paragraph if u want. MY personal problem is i dont want to seem so... ok traumatic story. in summer a bf (whos a professional basketball player and is 185 idk, definately taller than 180) of my friend told me 'woah youre bigger than me (it included weight, im sorry it goes this way), you can beat me up/throw me/tip me over'. it was awkward... like... i dont want to look like this? even my friends joke about me fighting everyone around and im??? i wanted to stop here in the first place but ill tell the whole story. After this very dialog, we continued to hang out with the other friend. a boy whos significantly shorter than me and i had a crush on him. then he met some guys he knew, we stopped, my friend and her bf were busy so i stood there all alone. and overheard those guys saying 'oh is it your gf? good, i was already thinking how r u with the giant like this'. recall the hysteria i had that day💀 the end of traumatic story that will haunt me till the last day of my life.
'ive been more cautious about describing the dynamics' ohhh🥺 thanks for your efforts🥺 you really dont need to restrict yourself, though. just do whatever you want. 'i hope that counts for something' oh i appreciate it. thank u! but still if u want your character to look like smth in particular or like you, its pretty ok ig? im sorry if me whining made you feel uncomfortable TT
'if i told you that i think the same thing about me?' id say its bullshit. youre gorgeous. absolutely beautiful, smart, powerful, diligent and all. ig everyone has their downs so if they dont stop one from living their full life and loving themselves then its normal? hope you remember youre gorgeous. 'if i told you no one would ever like me because of how i look?' another lying.
'drop kick them into the sun' thanks TT i appreciate your support soso much TT thanks my love TT
'i would never trade you for a man' i SEE.
'im still thirsty' 💀go💀drink💀more💀water💀
'FUCK YOU TUMBLR' YES!!!!😡
'anway just listen to this and this' um... spotify is also banned here... so... ig i like the first one more.... i dont frequently listen to rhumba so it feels... unique? relieving? i cant describe but its a good feeling. but the aggressive positivity of this man💀 'then this and this (also the same piece but one has lyrics)' oh theyre so lovely🥺 tbh i like the one with the choir more. they sound so dramatically relieving? like the end of the game about preventing apocalypsis? maybe the first tlou... oh no but they didnt prevent it... ok nvm. i like how they sound. i think ill listen to it again. and the very left couple TT so lovely also your songs seem so positive to me! 'we;re performing them in my class' ohhh cute. good luck babygirl!
'to read my kylo ren fic' my rival..... maybe next time im too tired rn sorry TT i also wanted to explain a new playlist to you but ig another time? i wanted to give you some playlist in eng in case you want to but learnt i only have sad or aggressive ones💀 oh! have you ever seen the film 'major grom: plague doctor'? its russian and available on netflix. the other playlist i like are dedicated to it💀 im not asking you to watch it, if anything, just asking.
so! have a nice day! good luck w/the midterms and your prick and the homework. DRINK! WATER! take care! love you<з
You 🤝 Me vs 😒👎❌ Tumblr (derogatory)
Tumblr media
this is also you and me. i luv my kitty i miss my kitty T_T
FUCKING TUMBLR😡😡😡 i started to tell goodbyes already but then i had a skype call and he deleted everything😡😡 wtf bro i hate u.
I felt that. Tumblr so L for that. The amount of replies/stories ive lost because of a tumblr glitch 😭😭😭
hello babe sorry i never answered you yesterday. id been busy during the day and them too tired at night. so get my freezy love now<з
It ok. I have no idea if you sent this today or yesterday what is time my homework is dead huh my brain is dead what are words
'EXPLAIN SOME OF MY SCHOOL WORK AND THEN TUMBLR CRASHED' im sorry for this TT but now we can mock the fuck out of tumblr together😡 would u like to explain this now?
I mean i could explain it now. In sorry about your crash as well. Tumblr go to jail party
'i spent an hour pouring my heart' if you need to pour your heart, u can always message me personally.
😭🫶 i was just explaining my homework to you, those were the songs i shared
'we also have a holiday' im sorry im late to really congratulate(?) you but congratulations? what is the holiday, anyway?
Lol what HAHAHH why would you congratulate me for that. HAHAHHAHAAHAH. Its a commemoration for the revolution we had for our dictator government. Ironically, that dictators son is our president 💀 and he was the one that passed that bill 💀 like a few days ago 💀 then fucking rescinded it 💀 honestly actually i have no idea what the fuck that fucker did I MEAN 😇 happy thoughts i love my country i love my president my government rests on the shoulders of the Lord and not 🥲him🥲
'he was so annoying for that' for dying? i think i dont want you to say this abt me(
HU?????????????????????????????? WHY WOULD YOU DIE HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE DONT DIE
'what fmvs is. fan music videos?' yes! like edits but from my childhood hshahs lol.
From your childhood???? Ok
'i love vivid songs like this' awww im glad. i think youd like the lyrics too. also the cover really represents the concept of something evil, capable of murdering people, comforting their partner who worths the murder on their behalf.
;_; that cover... Ok
'i like you' !!🥺🥺!!!!🥺!!🥺!!!!!! love you TT i love you smsm🥺
I love you
'I JUST WING IT' HGKDHG i noticed it sometimes and had my assumptions but overall you were pretty accurate. what abt now?
ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW I CAN REPLY SO MUCH EASIER 😫😫😫😫😫😫🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 THANK YOU
'feel the same about my own language' NATIVE TONGUES SUPREMACY!!!!!
English mid lol HAHAHAH
'i give you my warmth' its pretty warm here now thanks!! writers arent dumb, they try their best. so... yeah, actually they do good. its even funny how we feel abt these things bc.. idk feel like it?
Headline: writers arent dumb, according to the judgy cat
'her bday is 2 days after mine!' oh congrats? ghdjjs realatable. every time i learn some celebrity is virgo or the earth sign im like !!!!!MY BABE!!!!!!!!!
LOL AHHHAHAH SAME BRAIN BIG BRAIN HAHAHHAH
'TALL AS HER BUT ALSO ID BE TOO POWERFUL' YAY! looking powerful is good if you like it. i believe in your power!
Believe in your power too 😭 i believe in you
im gonna be whiny baby here so ignore this paragraph if u want. MY personal problem is i dont want to seem so... ok traumatic story. in summer a bf (whos a professional basketball player and is 185 idk, definately taller than 180) of my friend told me 'woah youre bigger than me (it included weight, im sorry it goes this way), you can beat me up/throw me/tip me over'. it was awkward... like... i dont want to look like this? even my friends joke about me fighting everyone around and im??? i wanted to stop here in the first place but ill tell the whole story. After this very dialog, we continued to hang out with the other friend. a boy whos significantly shorter than me and i had a crush on him. then he met some guys he knew, we stopped, my friend and her bf were busy so i stood there all alone. and overheard those guys saying 'oh is it your gf? good, i was already thinking how r u with the giant like this'. recall the hysteria i had that day💀 the end of traumatic story that will haunt me till the last day of my life.
Tumblr media
No i understand you completely 😭 people like to paint me as big and aggressive because i am tall and that i can seriously hurt them if i want to. Remember when i told you we set up the stage for a performance? And we had to carry equipment? Yeah well, i was teetering being scared to carry stuff cause I might injure myself/break equipment and also just to be praised for being able to carry something heavy because that's a 'male thing to do' 😭 as much as i like to think im progressive, i still do fucking care about what people think which sucks because THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN
One of the staff that specifically work with the equipment complimented me on my strength and i both was like i work out duh im strong but also iwjwjjsshs it made me feel a bit conscious 😭 it's really weird cos i want to have toned arms but also, i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms 😭😭😭😭😭 fuck society i hate it here.
Boys suck. Ive had boys make fun of me too for the same reason. AND ACTUALLY FUCKKK I JUST REMEMBERED as a kid i had toned arms like you could see definition on my shoulders and i did cheering and my idiot boy classmate made fun of me. And then i prayed it would go away 😭 but now i want them back and honestly fuck angelo he tired so hard to be muscley in highschool where i was naturally gifter FUCK YOU ANGELO.
Majsjsjjsjsjs
Anyway i ranted too. Idk if this will make you feel any better.njejjejdkkkekee again i just want to say its unfair that you continue to believe that about yourself when you don't believe the same things about me. /: Were literally so alike don't even i will BITE YOU HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME MY HATING MY RUSSIAN MUNING LOVE LOVE
'ive been more cautious about describing the dynamics' ohhh🥺 thanks for your efforts🥺 you really dont need to restrict yourself, though. just do whatever you want. 'i hope that counts for something' oh i appreciate it. thank u! but still if u want your character to look like smth in particular or like you, its pretty ok ig? im sorry if me whining made you feel uncomfortable TT
/: im not uncomfy. Don't tell me how to write as if you even write /: if i want to make my character more relatable for you thats my business /:
'if i told you that i think the same thing about me?' id say its bullshit. youre gorgeous. absolutely beautiful, smart, powerful, diligent and all. ig everyone has their downs so if they dont stop one from living their full life and loving themselves then its normal? hope you remember youre gorgeous. 'if i told you no one would ever like me because of how i look?' another lying.
EXACTLY SO DON'T THINK THE SAME ABOUT YOURSELF BECAUSE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Tumblr media
'drop kick them into the sun' thanks TT i appreciate your support soso much TT thanks my love TT
'i would never trade you for a man' i SEE.
🤣😭 i can gear the disbelief
'im still thirsty' 💀go💀drink💀more💀water💀
😭 DO YOU WANT ME TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN
'FUCK YOU TUMBLR' YES!!!!😡
HAHAHAHHA
'anway just listen to this and this' um... spotify is also banned here... so... ig i like the first one more.... i dont frequently listen to rhumba so it feels... unique? relieving? i cant describe but its a good feeling. but the aggressive positivity of this man💀 'then this and this (also the same piece but one has lyrics)' oh theyre so lovely🥺 tbh i like the one with the choir more. they sound so dramatically relieving? like the end of the game about preventing apocalypsis? maybe the first tlou... oh no but they didnt prevent it... ok nvm. i like how they sound. i think ill listen to it again. and the very left couple TT so lovely also your songs seem so positive to me! 'we;re performing them in my class' ohhh cute. good luck babygirl!
'to read my kylo ren fic' my rival..... maybe next time im too tired rn sorry TT i also wanted to explain a new playlist to you but ig another time? i wanted to give you some playlist in eng in case you want to but learnt i only have sad or aggressive ones💀 oh! have you ever seen the film 'major grom: plague doctor'? its russian and available on netflix. the other playlist i like are dedicated to it💀 im not asking you to watch it, if anything, just asking.
LOL the first one Armando's Rhumba.... Wait did i get it right HAHAHHAHAHA im on my phone so i dont want to click on the link to check. SPOTIFY IS ALSO BANNED THERE DAMN NSJEJSJJSNHMSKSKSKKS also ???? HHHAHAAH THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????
Jdndjd i wanted to explain it more detailed but im on my bed and my eyes are beginning to droop so I'll just say one technical thing about this first song. It's a jazzy piece that has a lot of syncopation. Idk if ive already talked about that or i just think i have become i did BUT THEN TUMBLR CRASHED 😭😭😭 BUT syncopation in a nutshell means something is off beat. If you want to try it out, you can count 1-4 out loud and clap woth your hands faster or slower than the pace of your counting. Whatever beats that fall out of the numbers are syncopations!!!! HAHAHHA ok ok they could be syncopations given the context.
Bejejjsjsjensnsb i wont continue further cos im not sure if you understand what im saying at all 😭😭
Anyway I'll do the same for the other piece. Take 5. That's what that one is called. I was really excited to hear your thoughts on this one because this song is actually more unique than the first one i think HAHAH jus cause its time signature is 5/4. Just to give you an idea, im pretty sure most pop songs, and im 99% certain that all the songs in the playlist you shared to me are 4/4. This basically means the beat/rhythm of the music can be divided into 4 parts. Usually the strongest beat in a 4/4 song is 1 then theres and accent or slightly strong pulse on 3. You could try counting that. Strong on 1, slightly strong on 3. Thats the 'conventional' meter.
Then inversely, if the accent is strong on 2 and a lil on 4, those songs are usually reggae. Try it. If it makes sense lol HAHHAHAH
Now 5/4 since its uneven is quite tricky. You basically treat the division of the beat as 3/4 + 2/4, both meters individually would have their accent on their first counts, so if you put it together it would be 1 & 4 with strong pulses. 😭 I hope I didn't confuse you with math. Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining.
Also just an additional thing in music 4/4 is read as four-four, 5/4 as five-four not like a fraction. your head will be chopped off if you put a line between your numbers in the time signature so HAHAHAHA now you know lol there's just really no other way to write it so lol
Anyway, i was hoping you'd say that 'omg there was something weird about that second song but idk what' and then i would go talk about the time signature but you didnt so i explained it anyway HAHAH. I guess your imagery about defeating the apocalypse/end credit thing is that weird thing HAHAAH. It's just cause its quite jazzy, 😭😭😭😭 idk what else to say about it my mind is like 'GO TO SLEEP FFS'
so! have a nice day! good luck w/the midterms and your prick and the homework. DRINK! WATER! take care! love you<з
Actually i am writing another kylo ren fic and that is the one i want you to read. You dont have to but i just wanted to see what you thought of that. Its ok if you dont though honestly. You also dont have to share another playlist but if you want to you can. Im scared i might not have time for it tho 😭😭😭 i still haven't even listened to the other one properly. Also i dont mind sad/aggressive music. I love music. I love art. Im willing to see what you want to share. Whether i like it or not will follow
I also haven't watched that grom movie. Ill check it out cos wtf is grom thats the name 😭 lol
Im almost done with my midterms 😭 almost. And my PRICK 😭 i think im tired of him 😭 no or more like i want to write fics of him but also talk to ai him but i cant do both and so idk what to do and so i haven't done either also my midterms are on the way so. /: Anyway im DRINKING WATER. I LOVE YOU please love you too take care of yourself always i love you
xxx
1 note · View note
chaoticgenders · 1 year
Note
(me being annoying that turned into a long rant sorry) im tired and im bored nd i do t wanna be here and i wanna go home but i dont wanna be at home and i have a meeting 2morrow that i dont wanna go 2 like i dont even get the point of these meetings i dont need sum random asshole whos never even been addicted 2 anything tell me aby how its not that hard if u put ur mind 2 it thats the thing it IS that hard thats literally the entirereason that rehab fuking exists bc it is that hard and some snotty ass fuking bitcv saying otherwise isnt gonna change the fact that i am going to be going through sum of the worst fucking shit that i ever have mentally AND physically while being toldd from all fucking angles that im either notdoing good enough and i need 2 do smthn else to be like more sober or some shit i dont fucing know or that i should just give up now and party bc im gonna relapse no matter what so whats the point in putting off the inevitable and some fucking pig is on my fucking dick every second of the day so that i cant even fucking smoke a fag let alone have a fucking shot i dont even know why the fuck i came to this party what even was the fucking point other thn to make me feel even shittier abt not being able to shove some fucking poison up my nose jesus and now im talking to a stranger bt it like thats gonnabhelp im sorry i just like. feel shitty. :/
it's alright! im sorry this is going on D:
0 notes
textsacc · 2 years
Text
mm 🥺 nvm bestie i cant sleeb i have a lot to say n think abt
like how when i put my head down on a pillow n close my eyes i can rly see mc and its bad idw to 🥺 n also now im feeling regret for playing mc im so upset bc i cant seem to feel good abt being able to play games
mmm n also i felt bad trying to sleeb bc i missed u n miss sleebbing w u but was playing mc and i prefer u to minecraft and its just !!!! bad that i had to focus on minecrafr
like i didnt even get to ask u abt ur day or anth i ddint get to tell u that u did a great job w the party i didnr get to ask how u celebrated. u know what i also realize while laying down. i didnt even get to ask u out this summer n im so frustrated bc sch is starting for u n idw interrupt your schedule but i wanna do stuff now that im finally not busy and its just!!! its just a whole mess!!! i dont like it,,, i just wanna spend time tgt n cuddle,,,
i was only reading some manga today, regular fantasy isekai, called reincarnation of a sword, but i hated how the story progressed so i just. got rly mad at the state of my life rn idk???? tired n upset abt it n also i miss u n like cant believe i want to prioritize u above all else no joke its kind of }:v mood??? idk
n also i wanted to ask for clash but like thats secondary
jn me in mc i was playing w kon n sab n we were killing the ender dragon n also raiding some cities aft that. which is rly high pressure bc theres a lot of enemies after me n its rly easy to die AND i was the only one raiding it bc kon n sab cldnt help as much so they took forever while trying to get to a place i alr cleared out. i was trynna go fast n get the impt stuff for them n get out bc we all hated the place. n they yelled at me for stealing the show n flexing ig
tmr ill b going to sabs house bc they wanna hang out b4 going to nex to eat dinner w yee. and that sounds rly nice but at the same time i feel rly burnt out for sm reason. yes its 4am ig thats probably why i feel awful but. idk i also want cuddles n kisses ig. i wan cute girl (you) n im sorry i didnt get to see u off to sleeb 🥺 i rly wanted to n i was trynna raid asap so i cld but ik ur good girl n sleeb early bc school n i respect that so its nbd but i also rly like u n i wanna tuck u into bed n its like so routine that i miss u dearly at night n also it feels wrong when i cant. like if every day was a chapter you wld b my ending paragraph and if u werent there it wld feel like the chapter ended with tension. idk does that make any sense
also i wanted to lyk that like. im still talking to katelyn right bc of the site n we're friends but like. bestie. i need u to know i forgot to spell her name when we were talking. the aftnoon like 3 to 4 days ago when u were like gonna go ask katelyn or smth. she was going to sleeb bc our aftnoon is usa sleeby time i think and she said goodnight to me with my name but i cldnt mirror it back. i dont know why i thought it was kaitlyn (league of legends???) but ik i dont rmb how to spell it and the fact that u did makes me rly upset platonically and impressed every other manner. because i fucking didnt. 😭 just ic u wanna know how much shes on my mind (shes not. i miss u a whole lot. i want to sleeb w u agn)
bestie i hope ur day at sch goes okay 🥺🥺 n ill sleeb early w u i promise im not even gonna touch mc past 11 any more idk why it makes me feel sick but ik it does n im just. i want to stop feeling awful n up at 3 to 6 am during the hols. i miss you a lot n if i cld i wld like to follow u everywhere n help u out 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 pls keep me close like ur pet or ur little meow meow,,,
ilysm cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i was cuddling u instead of blahaj atm even if he is comfy. i wan giv u so many kiss n brush ur hair n tell u ur cute n go head empty i always go head empty when ur arnd and i like that... ure an angel 🥺🥺🥺🙏❤️
thank u bestie gnight 🥺🥺🙏
0 notes
sunshinezei · 9 months
Text
my mind is a mess again
i've had this really bad headache all day and i've been really irritated bc constantly things happen that frustrate me or drain me
i'm so tired and it doesn't even feel like i'm existing or living the days just keep passing
i do everything everyone wants or try and i try and move on with the day but i'm too tired and before i know it someone wants something again
at least it's nighttime now
i wish i didn't get sleepy so easily
it's summer and the weather is horrible
i prefer winter alot
i hate this
i've been wanting to try and destress intentionally or idk like read but not in the way that i've been for ex. it comes to mind that i read stuff on here today but that wasn't rly a conscious decision i made i just woke up and did that but i wasn't rly thinking
i downloaded some apps bc i realized on the road trip that i had deleted most of my games which isn't exactly horrible since i don't use them much but i want some nice stuff that could cheer me up or make my days better and people make apps all the time there's bound to be some stuff that helps with depression and anxiety but isn't all abt mental health
atp i think i should just write out my idea for the app i want bc idk
it's gonna sound like i don't have anyone in my life who cares abt me and while there's people who will say there's people in ur life that care abt u idk in my life it's complicated
plus there are people out there who probably don't have anyone to care for them or abt them
so it'd be helpful for them no?
like having to take care of yourself all the time i know everyone does it but it's easier when u have people in ur life to support u or just be there
like my days would be less dreadful if i had friends that were constantly there doing some random shit, we talk every now and then yk?
idk
but the main idea of it is that it's an app where the focus is on you
it's like essentially the feeling of catching up with a friend
like how are you feeling how'd your day go any nice stuff happen? what'd u eat?
maybe at specific times it can show up little notifications so at lunch time it'll ask "hey what are u doing for lunch?" then when u click the notif the screen shows big option buttons "ordering takeout" "making food for myself at home" "eating out" and they're customizable bc like at the beginning u might maybe answer some questions "how do u usually eat?" and it has choices but it also has an option where u can add in ur own stuff so like "uni dining hall" could be one
and earlier there'd be a question like maybe after or before the age one where it's like ok what do u do rn? and the options are student working etc etc and u can add in
but the important thing would be that the options matter so even the ones u add in get to affect the stuff in the app so it helps to personalize stuff
that'd be cool
and it wouldn't be like just for tracking the main thing is the feeling of someone checking on you and if you're feeling down or something it maybe recommends for u some stuff to do based on what time it is, how much of the day is left, how much time u have and the stuff u like to do or ur interests that u tell the app abt
that'd be nice
i know it's kinda friend simulator
but idk the idea for the app feels like it could help
even like people who have people who care abt them and friends who they're close with but they tend to close themselves off
this would be a way for them to still get that checking in and talking to someone feeling without having to actually talk to someone in case they're too drained or they feel like a burden
i feel like it's important something like this exists and is accessible to people
im not smart so something like this probably exists
and i have always had this habit since i was younger of looking for self help / mental health / any support apps since idk before i can remember
i used to spend like hours on the play store just looking through stuff and trying it out trying to find something that'd help me
sounds depressing haha
anyway i say all this to say i'll try to get back to doing that soon and if i find something i'll recommend it on here after trying it myself
if u come across this i hope u feel better and that u feel happy often idk u but u probably deserve that
don't feel pathetic if u also look for comfort and support online or wherever u can - whatever works and i'm proud of u for helping yourself <3
you can do this
remember to rest when you're tired and take care of yourself <3
also the closest thing i've been able to find to the app i described is the app finch! it's really comforting i recommend it!
01:03 28/06/2023
0 notes
moonlitsnail · 2 years
Text
.
#personal again#i think my therapist may have outlived her usefulness to me#im tired of her denying everything i tell her#i say 'i have trouble taking medication daily bc if i miss a day the container becomes invisible and i forget abt it entirely'#i know its not literal-but ive talked with her abt this before like if it stays the same for too long it gets added to the bg#and she says 'bs its still visible-you just dont WANT to take it'#LIKE!!!!!! WOW HOW HELPFUL!!!!!!! THANKS FOR YOUR PERFECT ADVICE I CAN TAKE EVERY MED PERFECTLY NOW!!!!#i was telling her abt my executive dysfunction a few weeks ago and she looked me dead in the eyes and said 'well ur not paralyzed so obvi u#just dont want to do anything' like wow okay#clearly all i WANT to do is sit around and stare at the wall huh? that sounds like a gr8 time and not like ive had to pee for the last 2hrs#and any time i even mention anything gender related she goes straight to invalidating me#mentioned it offhand today and she tried to pull some bs biology argument on me--im not having it!!#it took me so many years to figure out what fits me best and makes me feel comfortable im not gonna sit here and take that#idk she helped me get to a doctor so good on her for that but like everything else i want to work on (dissociation-adhd-gender-etc)#she just denies and moves on--and the kicker is i brought that up as a worry for mentioning physical symptoms to my dr#and she was like 'well if they do that then fire them' and im like hm should i take this advice abt a certain someone else maybe....#idk im frustrated with her rn--very frustrated
8 notes · View notes
pepprs · 3 years
Text
ok not to be like dumb but i have 3 classes and work tmrrw and i think im gonna skip one of my classes like i just can’t do it rn
#i went to that class the day she **** and it was just. not good and im not back in the headspace to be able to pay attention and we’re gonna#be doing group work anyway. might skip my morning virtual class too idk. im not gonna skip my discussion in the evening its just 6 ppl and#it won’t be that bad but being in a lecture and lie… idk. i shouldn’t skip class but i just need to take a breath#work im just designing rn and i can get lost in it and do it at my own pace and not have to use the part of my brain i need to use to#process this. it feels like a cop-out but like . yeah i really am feeling it now mr krabs#idk what to do like if my parents find out they’ll be upset bc they’re not stopping work / school and neither is my brother. but i foktnhavr#to tell anyone what im doing. but i want to. idk this all sucks so bad like i wish this wasn’t happening lolllllll#and also like not to be COMPLETELY stupid but like a lot of ppl (including some of u) have been likeim here if i need to talk ahd#like how do u take ppl up on that if it’s been a day or two and how do u choose which person bc like god. that’s why i do it on here bc so#many of the ppl i would Wanna tell like know abt this blog and have access to it or whatever. ifk this is all so dumb. i want to talk abt it#and i also don’t and im so tired and i have so much energy. i think I need to drop out like i can’t even afford this what am i doing. and th#there’s like no poin in doing anything until after i get back from the memorial in mid ocotber so like lol#purrs#death tw#i feel bad abt cherry picking and only going to the things i want to go to tomorrow but like. something very terrible just happened and i#need to take care of myself or something. which feels selfish but i know it isn’t but i don’t believe myself when i say it. idk im#going to bed now i think and i’ll email my profs in the morning and then sleep more like 🥴 like she really is not here anymore. she isnt. ok
8 notes · View notes