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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

Note

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

#lib3rtin33

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notcanoncompliant · 4 years

Text

Rookie

Hey hey, just a little nothing-drabble, the prequel to Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

(takes place nine years before DWMAT; Peter's 20)

**************************************************

Tony hates these things.

“Okay, it’s been two hours. Can I retreat to my fortress of solitude now, wash off the sleaze?”

“But why would you waste a perfect opportunity to continue showcasing your effortless charm.”

“...Sarcasm doesn’t become you.”

Pepper smiles like he said something particularly funny, loops an arm through his. “Come on, another hour of schmoozing and then they’ll all leave and you can complain to JARVIS for the rest of the night.”

Tony sighs, puts on his ‘schmooze’ affect, and lets himself be pulled back into the crowd.

Since he’s been sober, hosting these little shindigs has become significantly less fun. It’s easier to be ‘effortlessly charming’ after a few glasses of champagne, but he’s still going to put on a good enough show to appease his business partner and every bureaucrat and/or military man that approaches. If only to avoid Pepper’s wrath.

The next half hour passes slowly, making nice with every stuffed suit and their wives (or lovers, or escorts; it’s hard to tell, sometimes), discussing politics Tony cares nothing about, gossip he cares even less about, and occasionally business. Nothing interesting, nothing to make this gala stand out from any other.

He's most of the way into social lethargy when he and Pepper are approached by someone new.

“Ms. Potts, Mr. Stark, I hope the evening’s treating you well?”

The man before them is forgettable in a way that feels too perfect; simple black suit, government-special haircut, mildly attractive features (but nothing that would immediately draw the eye). Tony has no idea who he is, and according to the bemusement hidden under the pleasantry of Pepper’s smile, she doesn’t either.

“Very well, actually,” Pepper says, extending a hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“We haven’t,” the man says, just as pleasantly, taking the proffered hand in brief shake. “Special Agent Phil Coulson. This is Peter Parker, soon to be agent.”

Pepper smiles graciously, and the two embark on a conversation that’s one part small talk and one part business that Tony tunes out almost entirely in favor of taking in the very much eye-catching young man standing beside the agent.

Peter looks uncomfortable, a little awkward, like he wants to tug at his shirt collar or his tie, adjust himself in some way that will erase the stuffiness of the room, but he’s beautiful. A little on the smaller side, but the sleeves and shoulders of the suit jacket are just a little tight, same as the fabric of the pants around his thighs; there’s definitely something worth seeing under all that generic government nothingness. Looks to be fresh out of college, if that; a very new recruit. He’s certainly something special from where Tony’s standing. That dark chocolate hair, intelligent honey-brown eyes, peachy-pale skin.Tony wonders if he’d taste as sweet.

He doesn’t need champagne to want to put on the charm for this one.

He steps a little closer, ignoring the covert warning pinch Pepper delivers to his arm (she does it without breaking the flow of conversation; his best friend is a consummate professional, and it works out for Tony in moments like this...not that there have been many lately).

“First time?” he asks, quiet but casual.

The kid’s cheeks turn a little pink, the corners of his mouth quirking up. “That obvious?”

“You look about ready to peel that suit off.”

Whoops. He hadn’t meant to play his hand quite so quickly, but the words were out before he could stop them. Tony blames his lack of alcohol and lack of recent ‘activity’, nothing to do with those gorgeous eyes, that gorgeous everything--

“You look about ready to do it for me.”

It’s quick and quiet, but confident.

Okay.

“That obvious?” Tony says, fighting a smile, and Peter’s face colors a little further.

God, the kid’s going to be a terrible agent if he doesn’t get that under control, but Tony’s certainly not going to count it against him, not right here, not right now. Not when Tony’s being about as subtle as an anvil to the head, laying all his cards out like he’s nineteen and trying to piss off his dad by wheedling his way into some stuffed suit’s pants.

“How about a tour?”

Peter looks like he’s going to laugh, but he just clears his throat.

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony very nearly offers his arm to the younger, just to see the vein in Pepper’s temple throb, but he’s already going to get an earful for this later.

He’s a little surprised Agent Senior hasn’t reacted, until Coulson smiles and says, “A moment, please,” and Peter goes to his side. Whatever the agent says makes Peter nod shortly, looking slightly sheepish and a little more flushed.

Peter rejoins him, and Tony smirks. “Shall we?”

***

They shall.

The tour is quick, a redundant round about the gala space, and a brief peek inside the public lab on the same floor (the one containing zero access to sensitive info, of course), lots of tense, bullshit small talk (lots of ‘oo’ and ‘oh’ and ‘that’s interesting’) and it ends in the elevator.

Tony slaps the lock button when they’re inside (it’s his building, he can monopolize the elevator if he wants) and then there are hands wandering under his jacket, shoving it off his shoulders, and he’s being pushed up against the wall, Peter’s mouth finding his.

It’s been a long time since anyone manhandled Tony at all (since anyone ‘anything’ed him at all), so he can’t be held responsible for the gasping moan that slips out into the kiss, the groan when Peter plants one hand in the center of his chest, holds him in place and uses the other to massage him just the right side of rough through his suit pants.

“I thought I was the one doing the peeling,” Tony rasps when they break apart for air.

Peter smirks at him, “Do you want me to stop?”

“Absolutely not.”

He absolutely doesn’t. And Peter doesn’t stop, until Tony’s gasping his name and bucking into the younger man’s mouth.

And what kind of host would Tony be if he didn’t return the favor?

***

After, when they’ve left the elevator (looking very debauched), Peter’s handed him his jacket and his phone that’d ended up on the floor in the scuffle and they’re about to re-enter the fray, Tony makes another impulsive decision.

“I think we should do this again sometime. In a bed. Maybe with dinner first. If you’re amenable.”

Peter smiles at him, a little bashful, a little amused. “How about we revisit that when we see each other again?”

Oh, well. “And when’s that gonna be, rookie?”

If anything, Peter looks even more amused. “Pretty soon.” And then he’s gone, melting into the crowd more seamlessly than Tony would’ve expected from someone so unused to it all.

Sighing internally in a blend of post-orgasmic pleasure and lightly stinging disappointment, he goes to find Pepper.

***

They do meet up ‘pretty soon’. A week later, Tony’s sitting in Pepper’s office with Agent Coulson and soon-to-be Agent Parker, going over exactly how Peter managed to break through SI’s impenetrable security network with nothing but some brief contact with Tony’s phone.

Tony would’ve been more upset about the breach if it hadn’t come to his attention in the form of Peter’s phone number and the words ‘See you soon - The Rookie’ scrolling across every screen in his personal lab.

He might just be in love.

********

Everything Tag List: @starkercrossedlovers, @silkystark, @hoeforthegays, @the-amazing-spidertwink

@starkerstories (I know you wanted to see the sequel, but in case you were down for the prequel, too lol)

#starker #tony stark x peter parker #DWMAT verse #starkerflowers fic #this is literally nothing #like i just needed go get it out #sorry for the lack of detail #nff #kinda

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happyhearthooligan · 4 years

Text

Master List Oct Edition 2019

(2/2)

This half contains the Yandere Month Special, Classic Undertale headcanons, Multiple AU asks, other headcanons that didn’t quite fit the first half, and franstastic-ideas’ other posts

The first half contains AU-centric headcanons excluding Classic Undertale

franstastic-ideas - October Content (Continued)

------------------------------------------------------

Yandere Month

Oct 3

Frisk is on an ambassador trip?

Mafia Yandere hcs on both our sweet Frans ♡

Yandere King Sans and his Lady Ambassador!

Cryptozoologist Frans but… yandere~

More yandere for me please! have you heard of Echofell?

What about Murder Frans (Murder Sans x Frisk)

Ink x Draw? (InkSans x InkFrisk) but yandere???

Yandere Error x Core?

Horrortale brothers in the least to most nuttiest yandere spectrum?

These are my questions about the yandere skeletons…

Oct 4

Yandere version of the Convergence AU?

Any headcanons for yandere Storyshift bros?

Yandere lamia??

Oct 6 - How about a yandere Frister?

Oct 9

Haven’t really seen much yandere!G!Sans. Could you do that?

Yandere Headcanons on Nightmare and Dream?

If a female touched his lady as a platonic gesture? (Yandere!G)

If G!Frisk somehow found out how Yandere G can be

Oct 10 - Yandere Outertale?

Oct 22

Yandere cuddles with the Swap brothers

What would Yandere Dance be like

Oct 23

So what about a yandere Dusttale story

What would Yandere WraithTale Sans do with Rosalyn

Killing is extremely rare and saved for severe occasions

Oct 24 - If Chara escaped and Papyrus was unable to find her?

Oct 27 - "He wouldn’t sleep until she was found"

Classic Undertale

Oct 1

Imagine Sans never confessing

Frisk & Chara hear a lot of puns and knock-knock jokes from Toriel

Why does UT Chara hate humanity?

Does Frisk or Chara have a backstory

Thoughts on Asgore and Toriel coming back together

Oct 2 - Canon fact or a fan theory, Frisk fell 100 years, after Chara

Oct 3

Some Papyrus x Chara x Asriel hcs

Chasriel and Frans double date?

Oct 4

Frisk and Sans reconcile after getting into an argument?

How about some Gaster x Frisk x Sans hijinks?

Accidentally ripping your pants in front of your S/O

Oct 5

Other than losing Frisk, what does Sans fear?

Is Chara a tsundere?

Oct 6 - Why did UT Frisk climb the mountain?

Oct 8 - Sans’s Reaction to Papara In a Nutshell

Oct 9 - If Frisk did a genocide run and she had to kill Sans?

Oct 10

Frisk can flirt with Goat Mom and canonically flirts with Papyrus

Why Sans was creeping around before introducing himself?

Oct 11 - What are Frisk and Sans’ favorite seasons

Oct 12

UT Frisk as someone who flirts with pretty much everyone

Is UT Sans was a bit more eccentric and wild about his work?

Would Pap ask Chara about letting him in the Royal Guard?

Oct 14

What does Papyrus think of Grillby himself?

Do the Charas like to play with their Asriel's ears?

Asriel will state that Chara "wasn't the greatest person’

How do you think Asriel and Papyrus feel about each other overall?

"Prone to random bouts of stupidity when Chara is involved."

"And they have to share". Do you mean Chara or that one braincell?

When Asriel and Papyrus are competing, how does Chara react?

Chara's reaction to Sans’ secretly trolling Pap online would be?

Oct 21 - Do the skeletons have peeves that their human lover does?

Oct 22

How would Gaster and Sans respond to a third rival

How Frisk/Chara felt about Alphys’ crush on Toriel and Asgore?

Undertale cuddles? o3o I want more of those!

How you think Frans would spend a rainy day

How about surprise kisses? Chara initiating their first kiss?

Would Chara be the one to tell Papyrus about his cooking?

Has Sans or Papyrus seen natural disasters while on the surface?

Would Chara tell Pap Undyne’s feelings of him and the Royal Guard

Oct 23

Can we have some of that Frister cuddles?

What would Sans and Mettaton's relationship be?

In Undyne and Alphys' wedding. Frisk caught the bouquet!

Frisk/Chara receive X-rays. How do their boyfriends see it?

Papyrus with a human anatomy book of undeniable proof

Oct 26 - If Frisk put herself on a near death state to save someone?

Oct 27 - Paps has told a skele-ton of puns in the game

Oct 28

"Papyrus thinks his jokes are better than Sans’s." Does Sans agree?

Do you think that Chara met Dr. Gaster?

Perhaps Sans and Flowey aren’t the only ones aware of the resets

How do you think Chara behaved at first towards the Dreemurrs?

Papyrus' reaction was when he found out that MK was a fan of his?

Oct 29

When you check the family photo, Chara's response would be "..."

Do you think that Chara cuddled with Asriel?

Oct 30 - "Papyrus feels the need to inspect them… just in case."

Multiple AU Headcanons

Oct 1 - More Gpapara headcanons please! Child of the ruins too?

Oct 2 - Frans AUs reacts to Frisk suddenly dying and not resetting?

Oct 6 - Is Gaster Sans' older brother in these AUs or something else

Oct 8

In order from least to most, who are the ten biggest tsunderes

UT Frisk and US Chara when bfs are telling puns to other women?

Minus HT Sans, who are the most protective/possessive?

Oct 9

Skelebros react to someone very openly checking out their ladies?

Soft UT Papara, soft househusband Green, and soft UF Papara

With each Papara and Frans couple, who kissed who first?

Oct 10

Skelehusbands favorite places to kiss on their wives?

What would Older/Married Skelehusbands give to Younger selves?

Seeing his favorite human trying on his scarf

How do the Sanses react once Frisk starts aging...

What would their skeleton lovers react to "that time of the month"?

Oct 11

How do the Sanses feel if Frisk had a previous love interest...

UF, US, and SF Sans and Frisk are pregnant but the girls don't know

Would Soul sensing be the same in reverse?

Aww, man. I was hoping for them to freak out or something

Where do their wives like to kiss their favorite skeleton?

Lol, I can only imagine how freaked out they'd get. :3

If “previous love interest” caused Frisk to have a negative reaction?

Oct 12

Do the Frisks squish their Sans' faces?

What if the first kisses where started by the cutiebones’ lovers?

Do any of the Frans/Papara couples get into arguments

Is there a human that likes the Gaster AUs?

How did each version of Sans and Papyrus go about soulmates

When did the Sanses realize that they were in love with their Frisk?

Chara had to deal with their ex-lover. Papyrus' response??

Oct 13 - Most Papyri refer to themselves as "the Great Papyrus”…

Oct 22 - Frisk/Chara with whom they refer to as a "boy friend"?

Oct 27 - Have the Sanses/Swap Papyruses always liked bad jokes?

Oct 29

Do UT Chara/US Frisk have doubts that the Royal Family loved them?

Frans/Papara confessions where Frisk/Chara confess?

Chara responds to receiving a bouquet of flowers/chocolate

Other Headcanons

Oct 1

Monster Hunter Chara and Monster Papyrus?

Can I ask for FellGFrans? or FellGPap?

Persephone/hades-esque headcanons for both Frans and Papara

Would HT Frisk ever fall in love despite him keeping her captive?

Oct 2

Your pacifist horrortale...but swapped?

Reaper and Frisk as Hades and Persephone X3

Oct 3 - I was wondering if you’ve heard of an AU called Farmtale

Oct 4

A modern war AU where Sans is a spy and so is Frisk

Any HorrorFrans/Papara hcs you could share with us?

About that Lamia AU... what would be the next step to courting

Horrorswap Papara please

Oct 6

Is Gaster Sans' older brother in these aus or something else

Snippets from Feeling Bonely without you?

Wild West AU love triangle between Grillby, Chara and Papyrus.

Skeleton bachelors in the HarvestTale/FarmTale soul events

Oct 10 - Horrorswap Papara proposal

Oct 12 - In Outertale, Sans shows Frisk where shooting stars fly by

Oct 13 - What is Henri's relationship with Frisk?

Oct 20 - What's your ideas about Core! Frisk and Error?

Oct 21

Headcanons for semisolidmind’s Aslyumswap

Narrator-Chara AU headcanons?

“The Villain I Appear To Be,” does Frisk feel remorse for hurting Sans

Oct 22

Swapfell Papara/Frans cuddles?

If the Convergence AU was a Papara reverse harem?

Oct 23

More cuddles! Outertale Papara/Frans?

AUs where Chara and Frisk are "joined at the soul” explanation

Oct 28 - "Chara and Frisk are attached via soul", an alternate view…

Other types of posts

Oct 1

Written Horrortale, Gastertale, or Underlust Papara?

Punctuation

Is this Reapertale? Or maybe it’s Greektale…?

Can we take one of your prompts and write a fic of it too?

How to be you???

Written HCs on love confessions or marriage proposals?

A recount of my AUs:

Your thoughts of HCs for the Six-Bones AU?

Oct 2

Have you read “Sooner Or Later You’re Gonna Be Mine”

How’d you do that?

Reading through your posts about Crypto!Frisk, and I wanna say…

Oct 3 - Is Frister a ship exclusive to Cryptozoologist au?

Oct 4 - Opinion about the Papyton (Papyrus x Mettaton) ship?

Oct 5 - Just imagine Flowey having the voice of Lil Gideon.

Oct 8 - Good news! My application’s been accepted

Oct 10

Would you ever be willing to write a Papyrus x Frisk fic?

Would it be okay if you could write about yandere Flowerfell?

Oct 12

I heard Flowerfell was based off of the writer and his partner

If you were to choose between Frans and Papara

Oct 21

Welcome back friend! how was your break?

HEY! It's been a while how are you doing?

Welcome back! Hope things have been well! :3

Are all AUs accepted here?

Oct 22

How do you feel with Monster Kid x Frisk?

Why do you like the idea of Chara being evil? (no hate)

Thoughts on Friskriel?

Rosalyn makes me think you don't like tsundere characters

Oct 23

When a tsundere character becomes abusive

I actually have the same feelings about Tsundere

‘I hate all tsunderes and everyone that likes the trope’, is not true.

Opinion of the AUs where Chara and Frisk are joined at the soul?

I don’t have many headcanons about the characters of Deltarune

Oct 24 - About the Author

Oct 26 - Status Update 10/26

Oct 27

Why you should share your ideas with the world

Do you know Ragnartale by @naomyart ?

Oct 28

I have a phobia of injections

Well, it’s over and done with, until next year at least.

All the stories I wrote in the past, I still have them

Oct 29 - I think one of the most insulting responses you can get

Oct 30

Hey there! Where can I read your stories?

Sometimes my mother will ask about how my writing’s going

------------------------------------------------------

November's list is going to be of a similar size to this, so expect the next one being split into two as well!

#Master List #franstastic-ideas Master List #Haven't finished final inspection yet

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franstastic-ideas · 4 years

Text

Master List Oct Edition (2/2)

This half contains Yandere Month Special, Classic Undertale Headcanons, Multiple AU asks, other headcanons that didn’t quite fit the first half, and Franstastic-Ideas’ more personal posts

The first half contains AU-centric headcanons excluding UT

Yandere Month—————————————

Oct 3

Frisk is on an ambassador trip?

Mafia Yandare hcs on both our sweet frans ♡

yandare King Sans and his Lady Ambassador!

cryptozoologist frans but ... yandare~

more yandare for me please! have you heard of echofell?

what about Murder Frans (Murder Sans x Frisk)

Ink x Draw? (InkSans x InkFrisk) but yandare???

Yandare Error x Core?

Where do the Horrortale brothers fall in the least to most nuttiest yandere spectrum?

These are my questions about the yandere skeletons [1. reasonability, 2. saying No, etc]

Oct 4

yandere version of the convergence AU?

Any headcanons for yandere storyshift bros.?

yandare lamia??.

Oct 6 - How about a yandare frister?

Oct 9

Haven’t really seen much yandere!G!Sans. Could you do that?

Yandere Headcannons on Nightmare and Dream right?

But, what if a female touched his lady as a platonic gesture? (Yandere!G)

If G!Frisk would somehow found out how Yandere G can be if needed to

Oct 10 - yandere outertale?

Oct 22

yandare cuddles with the swap brothers

What would Yandere Dance be like

Oct 23

So what about a yandere Dusttale sotry

What would Yandere WraithTale Sans do with Rosalyn

Killing is extremely rare and saved for severe occasions in my yandere-verse

Oct 24 - If Chara escaped and Papyrus was unable to find her?

Oct 27 - "he wouldn’t sleep until she was found"

Classic Undertale————————————

Oct 1

imagine Sans never confessing

Frisk and Chara hear a lot of puns and knock-knock jokes from Toriel

why does UT Chara hate humanity?

Does Frisk or Chara have a backstory

thoughts on Asgore and Toriel coming back together

Oct 2 - canon fact or a fan theory, Frisk fell 100 years, after Chara

Oct 3

some papyrus x chara x asriel hcs

chasriel and frans double date?

Oct 4

Frisk and Sans reconcile after getting into an argument?

how about some gaster x frisk x sans hijinks?

Accidentally ripping your pants in front of your S/O

Oct 5

Other than losing Frisk, what does Sans fear?

Is Chara a tsundare?

Oct 6 - Why did UT Frisk climb the mountain?

Oct 8 - Sans’s Reaction to Papara In a Nutshell

Oct 9 - If Frisk did a genocide run and she had to kill Sans?

Oct 10

Frisk can flirt with Goat Mom and canonically flirts with Papyrus

why Sans was creeping around before introducing himself?

Oct 11 - What are frisk and sans’ favorite seasons

Oct 12

UT Frisk as someone who flirts with pretty much everyone

Is UT Sans was a bit more eccentric and wild about his work?

Would Pap ask Chara about letting him in the Royal Guard?

Oct 14

What does Papyrus think of Grillby himself?

Do you think that the Charas liked to play with their Asriel's ears?

Ariel will state that Chara "wasn't the greatest person’

How do you think Asriel and Papyrus feel about each other overall?

"prone to random bouts of stupidity when Chara is involved."

"And they have to share". Do you mean Chara or that one braincell?

When Asriel and Papyrus are competing, how does Chara react?

Chara's reaction to Sans’ secretly trolling Pap online would be?

Oct 21 - do the skeletons have peeves that their human lover does?

Oct 22

How would Gaster and Sans respond to a third rival

How Frisk/Chara felt about Alphys’ crush on Toriel and Asgore?

Undertale cuddles? o3o i want more of those!

How you think frans would spend a rainy day

How about surprise kisses? Chara initiating their first kiss?

Would Chara be the one to tell Papyrus about his cooking?

Has Sans or Papyrus seen natural disasters while on the surface?

Would Chara tell Pap Undyne’s feelings of him and the Royal Guard

Oct 23

can we some of that Frister cuddles?

What would Sans and Mettaton's relationship be?

in Undyne and Alphys' wedding. Frisk caught the bouquet!

Frisk/Chara receive x-rays. How do their boyfriends see it?

Papyrus with a human anatomy book of undeniable proof

Oct 26 - If frisk put herself on a near death state to save someone?

Oct 27 - Paps has told a skele-ton of puns in the game

Oct 28

"Papyrus thinks his jokes are better than Sans’s." Does Sans agree?

Do you think that Chara met Dr. Gaster?

Perhaps Sans and Flowey aren’t the only ones aware of the resets

How do you think Chara behaved at first towards the Dreemurrs?

Papyrus' reaction was when he found out that MK was a fan of his?

Oct 29

When you check the family photo, Chara's response would be "..."

Do you think that Chara cuddled with Asriel?

Oct 30 - "Papyrus feels the need to inspect them… just in case."

Multiple AU Headcanons—————————

Oct 1 - More gpapara headcanons please! child of the ruins hcs too?

Oct 2 - Frans aus reacts to Frisk suddenly dying and not resetting?

Oct 6 - Is Gaster Sans' older brother in these aus or something else

Oct 8

In order from least to most, who are the ten biggest tsundere

UT Frisk and US Chara when bfs are telling puns to other women?

Minus HT Sans, who are the most protective/possessive?

Oct 9

skelebros react to someone very openly checking out their ladies?

soft UT papara, soft househusband green, and soft UF papara

With each Papara and Frans couple, who kissed who first?

Oct 10

skelehusbands favorite places to kiss on their wives?

What would Older/Married Skelehusbands give to Younger selves?

how sanses react once frisk starts aging and eventually pass away?

what would their skeleton lovers react to "that time of the month"?

Oct 11

How the sanses feel if frisk had a previous love interest that broke off

UF, US, and SF Sans and Frisk are pregnant but the girls don't know

would Soul sensing be the same in reverse?

Aww, man. I was hoping for them to freak out or something

Where to their wives like to kiss their favorite skeleton?

Lol, I can only imagine how freaked out they'd get. :3

If “previous love interest” caused Frisk to have a negative reaction?

Oct 12

Do the Frisks squish their Sans' faces?

what if the first kisses where started by the cutiebones’ lovers?

Do any of the Frans/Papara couples get into arguments

Is there a human that likes the Gaster AUs?

How did each version of Sans and Papyrus go about soulmates

When did the Sanses realize that they were in love with their Frisk?

Chara had to deal with their ex-lover. How each Papyrus respond?

Oct 13 - Most Papyri refer themselves as "the great Papyrus”…

Oct 22 - Frisk/Chara with whom they refer to as a "boy friend"?

Oct 27 - Have the Sanses/Swap Papyruses always liked bad jokes?

Oct 29

Do UT Chara/US Frisk had doubts that the Royal Family loved them?

Frans/Papara confessions where Frisk/Chara confess?

Chara responds to receiving a bouquet of flowers/chocolate

Other Headcanons————————————

Oct 1

Monster Hunter Chara and Monster Papyrus?

can I ask for FellGFrans? or FellGPap?

Persephone/hades-esque headcanons for both frans and papara

Would HT Frisk ever fall in love despite him keeping her captive?

Oct 2

your pacifist horrortale...but swapped?

Reaper and Frisk as Hades and Persephone X3

Oct 3 - I was wondering if you’ve heard of an AU called Farmtale

Oct 4

a modern war AU where Sans is a spy and so is Frisk

any horrorfrans/papara hcs you could share with us?

About that Lamia AU... what would be the next step to courting

Horrorswap Papara please

Oct 6

Is Gaster Sans' older brother in these aus or something else

snippets from Feeling Bonely without you?

Your wild west au love triangle between Grillby, Chara and Papyrus.

skeleton bachelors in the HarvestTale/FarmTale soul events

Oct 12 - In outertale, sans shows frisk where shooting stars fly by

Oct 20 - What's your ideas about Core! Frisk and Error?

Oct 21

Headcanons for semisolidmind’s Aslyumswap

Narrator-Chara AU head cannons?

“The Villain I Appear To Be,” does Frisk feel remorse for hurting sans

Oct 22

Swapfell papara/frans cuddles?

If the Convergence AU was a Papara reverse harem?

Oct 23

more cuddles! outertale papara/frans?

In the AUs where Chara and Frisk are "joined at the soul” explanation

Oct 28 - "Chara and Frisk are attached via soul", an alternate view…

Personal Thoughts————————————

Oct 1

Written Horrortale, Gastertale, or Underlust Papara?

Punctuation

Is this Reapertale? Or maybe it’s Greektale…?

can we take one of your prompts and write a fic of it too?

how to be you???

written HCs on love confessions or marriage proposals?

A recount of my AUs:

Your thoughts of HCs for the Six-Bones AU?

Oct 2

Have you read “Sooner Or Later You’re Gonna Be Mine”

Reading through your posts about Crypto!Frisk, and I wanna say…

Oct 3 - Is Frister a ship exclusive to Cryptozoologist au?

Oct 4 - Opinion about the Papyton (Papyrus x Mettaton) ship?

Oct 5 - Just imagine Flowey having the voice of Lil Gideon.

Oct 8 - Good news! My application’s been accepted

Oct 10

Would you ever be willing to write a Papyrus x Frisk fic?

Would it be okay if you could write about yandere Flowerfell?

Oct 12

I heard Flowerfell was based off of the writer and his romantic parter

if you were to choose between Frans and Papara

Oct 21

welcome back friend! how was your break?

HEY! It's been a while how are you doing?

Welcome back! Hope things have been well! :3

Are all AUs accepted here?

Oct 22

How do you feel with Monster kid x Frisk?

why do you like the idea of chara being evil? (no hate)

Thoughts on Friskriel?

Rosalyn makes me think you dont like tsundere characters

Oct 23

When a thunder character becomes abusive

I actually have the same feelings about Tsundere

‘I hate all tsunderes and everyone that likes the trope’, is not true.

Opinion of the AU's where Chara and Frisk are joined at the soul?

I don’t have too many headcanons about the characters of Deltarune

Oct 24 - About the Author

Oct 26 - Status Update 10/26

Oct 27

Why you should share your ideas with the world

Do you know Ragnartale by @naomyart ?

Oct 28

I have a phobia of injections

Well, it’s over and done with, until next year at least.

All the stories I wrote in the past, I still have them

Oct 29 - I think one of the most insulting responses you can get

Oct 30

Hey there! Where can I read your stories?

Sometimes my mother will ask about how my writing’s going

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holy... Cow! This took a while. But, November's list looks like it's going to be of a similar size to this, so expect the next one being split into 2 as well!

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9noryn · 4 years

Text

New answers!!

From questions asked in the ask-the-incuwives channel in the Seduce Me Discord Server!

From abil: if your husbands had to stay in the abyssal plains after the events of the war, how would you feel? would you be okay with it?

Noryn would pack up and move with him lmao she's not attached to places, more so people so; of course there has to be a lot of talking and planning together, but she's pretty down to continue making things work from the plains side. She wouldn't have to worry about being found by Angels and get obliterated, big plus. She'd miss her sigil witch brother and her friends in the human world though; but she'll easily think about video calls and gaming and visits. The big make or break would be whether she can get hooked up with high speed internet in the abyssal plains

wait i just realized... the abyssal plains doesn't have internet yet

noryn's not gonna like this one bit; neither would matthew

two gamers, in a dimension without games

((first order of business is to invent internet and get connected to human world, the first demon world hacker))

Bonus:

Midnight: Noryn starting up a tiktok channel for tiktoks in the Abyssal Plains that only the incubi and the wives see LOL

Midnight: no, she vlogs

Zio: hey demons its ya boi

More under the break!

From tkdigiboy: how would you react if one of the boy's ex-bf/gf or 'playmates'(sex for energy) came to visit or hang. would you let your husband do a one time fling for energy?

noryn's been friends with her exes, and their exes; so as long as things are chill, it's just like meeting anyone else from someone's social circle. it only gets weird if it's like... this person distracts matthew away from noryn a lot or otherwise gets in between her interactions with him

e_e they don't even have to be past lovers, anyone that does that will get on noryn's nerves and make her go on a jealous gifting spree, where in a fit of jealous frustration she buys a bunch of very thoughtful gifts for matthew to give to him later

regarding the one-time fling: emergency sure; but like, consent and all is one time and case specific

like if matthew is blowing up noryn's phone like "iM dY INNg OF SEX STarVaTION AND yOu'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD" she'd be like ? ?? ? bE SAfe FIRST AND WE CAN TALK LATER

From Kantah: ooh what are the wives' hobbies? :0

Noryn hobbies: being an internet gremlin; tea brewing, drink mixing, bartending/barista; dabbling in potion making

From tkdigiboy: To noryn/zio: how well do you get along with simon and his wife?

pretty well!! though she thinks of simon and simone as mika's pets so whenever she visits mika she likes to try to befriend them and get matthew to play with him :> simon's a lot less of a rascal when noryn can give him the attention he seeks

From Diva: how long does it take Noryn to find out Divana’s favorite bubble tea since she cant magically know like usual [cause she’s a collective ton of different personalities]

Diva: Zio wait how long does it take for Noryn to figure out Divana's fav bubble tea after she god damn blue screens

Noryn: -sits there with window xp error noises going off in her brain-

Divana: I think this one died

Zio: poor baby; noryn would probably just blindfold herself and randomly mix ingredients and hope for the best. serving a chaos demon aint easy

Diva: Especially when Noryn Knows Alot of Things™️

From dari_baguls: Idk if this is more for Zio or Noryn buuuut do you really have the cat stalkings Noryn wears in the game? I cried when I saw Noryn cause I also have the same stalkings and also (at the time) had short hair TvT just wanna know for research purposes

i do have them irl! Her outfit is based off of what i wore when the game was being made

She’d look like this in present day

Gotta refresh noryn’s design cause it’s very undergrad student vs her now working bartending professional :9

From Diva: Oh no Noryn and Divana in the same room fucking around with potions

Zio: POTIONS POTIONS POTIONS in carrie's kitchen no less

Diva: Many things went wrong that day

Diva: M a n y

Zio:

Noryn: "can i come over to make sum poshuns"

Carrie: "Of course,you dork"

Noryn: "Also Divana will help"

Carrie:

Diva:

Read at 3:45 pm

Zio:

Noryn: "henlo? carrie u ther"

From tkdigiboy: Question to zio and kary: how do you 2 handle your husbands when their doing their usual routine towards eachother

Karygurl: Start making bets, make popcorn :D

Zio: when sam and matthew bicker; noryn stands aside and lets them get through their system if it's between them specifically; otherwise she's a participant in the bickering LOL they're a lot like rascally friends, and noryn is also a shit starter

Zio: i headcanon that iri or twila like to occasionally stir the pot, like drop a small [controversial hot take] and watch the boys mcfreakin lose it

sam, matthew and noryn are all competitive casual gamers shit's going down there's no allegiances

From ☁bunny☁: jumpin in here: for all of the incuwives creators, especially zio n kary, how do you guys feel about people writing about ur ocs in their own stories? or drawing them? im writing my own interpretation of the story with my self insert and i love carrie and noryn dearly and would love to include them (and the other incuwives) but id only wanna do it if its cool with their creators first !

Karygurl: I mean please do!! I bookmark and save EVERYTHING that has even a tiny whiff of Carrie in it, I'm honored anyone would want to include her in anything ever

Zio: im flattered if your inspired to write in or draw my characters!! let me know if you want to collab too

Zio: do it do it; shout outs and cameos give me life

Karygurl: SAME Zio

Zio: plus if there's no story conflict, im down to adopt new dynamics/lore/etc from what people create

From Mari: What kind of things would you do to make your husband laugh?

To laugh? noryn would be an utter fool lmao and tell him an embarrassing story about herself (she's had a whopping 9 lives worth, there's no end to headass decisions and shenanigans when it comes to her); something like

Noryn: "Babe have you seen our dog"

Matthew, pouty but still hanging in there: "Huh? She's in the other room, right?"

Noryn: "Now watch this. Bijo, cuddle attack!!"

Distant pitpattering on the tile gets closer until Bijo, the apron wearing shibe, gets ready to jump with a soft woof

Bijo full-body slams into noryn

oh my god, noryn would do unintentional slapstick when trying to show matthew some new trick or skill

tkdigiboy to zio: pet peeve with matthew

probably him being a touch too open-minded and overly generous with his time to the point that he wears himself super super thin and tired. he's kind of that extreme of being too self-sacrificing?

Noryn reminds him that he doesn't owe everyone he comes in contact with that kind of life-changing attention and focus, especially if those people take advantage of his kindness.

Noryn is very much "i have limited time and energy in this one body, I focus on saving the one person I can" whereas Matthew is the "I want to brighten everyone's day, and give them what I didn't have or give them something only I can provide"

While they have similar tastes and interests, their perspectives help the other grow into a healthier, better person.

#noryn answers #incuwives #carrie #divana #((oh goodness yeah im still alive and i love noryn #i named my palico in monster hunter world after her))

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