#visual shock crew
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Hazbin Hotel: Let's Talk About Cursing!
Trigger warning for lots of cursing in this post (obviously) and discussion of canon abuse scenes
As I delve further into the Hazbin Hotel fandom, I’ve inevitably come across a variety of people who dislike the show for an equal variety of reasons. One criticism I’ve seen with some consistency is in regards to the cursing and yeah, I get it. That’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. However, the repeated claim that the cursing is only there as a—failed—attempt at bad, lazy humor got me thinking about why I personally liked the cursing, and why I think it serves a greater purpose in the show.
Now yes, some of the cursing does function as an arguably simplistic joke. The most common setup I’ve noticed is one that leans into a contrast in tone/personalities. We see this a lot with the polite, comparatively timid Charlie as she navigates her distinctly vulgar domain.
Charlie: “Hi, mister!”
Demon: “Go fuck yourself!”
The entirety of “Happy Day in Hell” plays with this contrast, setting up Charlie’s slightly skewed, but significantly optimistic perspective of Hell. We are shown again and again how her lyrics are contradicted or twisted into something less innocent through the visuals: a “revealing” street where it’s “hard not to stare” has BDSM going on in a nearby window, Charlie will “open the door” for her people and then literally does so... for a guy who’s already dead. (Or, you know, temporarily out of commission until he heals, or whatever demons do when they’re ‘killed’ by things other than angelic steel.) The entire point here is to contrast the happy, skipping girl claiming that there’s a “warm, fuzzy feeling” in the air with the actual environment of unchecked fires and decaying limbs. And yes, that can be amusing. Not necessarily for everyone as humor is highly subjective and dependent on context, but distilling this contrast down to the shock of a polite greeting getting a “Go fuck yourself!” in response is a kind of entertainment. Especially when Charlie’s reaction adds another layer: for me that’s a very funny—and currently relatable—expression.
We can potentially make the case that this humor format overstays its welcome, but I personally think the show does a good job of keeping Charlie’s cursing both simple and comparatively rare, so that when she is put into these contrast situations the humor lands better. The best example I can think of in the latter half of the show is Susan. There we get the whiplash of polite, trying-to-get-these-people-to-like-her Charlie reaching a breaking point to become “FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH” Charlie. It’s a moment that builds off of the earlier surprise of the courteous Alastor calling someone an “Ornery old bitch”—while Rosie is trying (and failing) to find a nicer way to phrase this.
However, as stated above I think the cursing serves more of a purpose than to just be funny for (some) viewers. Beyond those who simply find cursing distasteful, I’ve seen a fair bit of, “This is so stupid. No one even talks like that!” going around.
Except... I do? I talk like that.
See, I like cursing. I was born to former hippie parents and grew up playing MMOs, so cursing was something I became pretty acclimated to. Personally, I’m glad I was because I’m fascinated by language and cursing—for better or worse—is an integral way that many people communicate. I was taught to see cursing not as the Bad Forbidden Thing You Must Never Ever Do, but rather as just another form of expression, something to be used in moderation and under specific circumstances. Once I became an adult I already understood how I wanted to curse and when it was appropriate to do so. People at work are often shocked when I tell them I curse a lot because no, of course I’m not doing that at my job. That isn't considered professional in this space. Among my friends though?
We can sound a lot like the Hazbin crew.
Undoubtedly the most common curse in the show is “fuck” and its variations, which very much tracks with my personal experience among other people who curse. In fact, it’s so ubiquitous that it barely counts as a curse at all in some groups. It’s more of an easy, accepted way to add emphasis. Vaggie’s “What the fuck was that?” about Alastor’s commercial is a perfect example. She’s pissed and simply saying “What was that?” doesn’t carry the same weight, no matter how angry she may sound when she says it. Vox’s long “Fuuuuuuuck” at the end of “Stayed Gone” conveys an emotion you just can’t capture any other way. No dialogue at all would create a fundamentally different experience of Vox’s feelings and another non-cursing response is just gonna hit different. Not necessarily bad, just different.
“I don’t want to go to the party!”
“I don’t want to go to the freaking party!”
“I don’t want to go to the fucking party!”
The above represents three distinct characters to me and I think Hazbin Hotel gets that. Cursing isn’t thrown around randomly because something something cursing supposedly sells; it’s all linguistically logical. Characters curse when something surprising or bad happens, or when something unexpectedly good happens, when they’re angry, trying to be sexy, or they want to add that emphasis. That’s a lot of different situations where cursing can be useful and when you use “fuck” in your daily life a lot you become pretty desensitized to it. As said, for many it’s barely a curse at all. Which means that when you really want to curse you’ve got to up the ante. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that the two uses of “cunt” I can recall—a word that is generally considered far worse than “fuck” and makes a lot of people understandably uncomfortable—is used by two of the worst characters in moments that are meant to horrify the viewer:
Adam: “Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts / I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months!”
Valentino: “When I say you’d better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say...?”
This horror is especially emphasized in Valentino’s scene. The creators know this word is coming up and deliberately build towards it. Angel is currently being abused and has been reminded that Valentino “owns” him. The above question is a part of a trio that Valentino asks (a standard structure in writing), wherein the third option is the outlier/most shocking of the three. The animation leans into that shock, with the music building and Valentino grabbing Angel to pull him close right on the word “cunt.” Perez even puts emphasis there because he knows that this is a significant word that will change our understanding of Valentino.
Despite having hit Angel multiple times and taunting him with the contract, this is the moment Valentino stops playing the ‘nice’ employer. This is the real him. No more fake compliments and endearments aimed at Charlie, no more fake comfort/intimacy aimed at Angel. That “cunt” conveys a hell of a lot about how Valentino really sees them and when you have a cast of characters who are already cursing on the regular, it takes a word on that level to do that kind of work. If Valentino had said, “get that fucking bitch out of my studio” it wouldn’t have had nearly the same impact because he’s the kind of guy who uses "bitch" even when playing ‘nice.’
Adam’s line from “Hell is Forever” does very similar work. The scene needs a word to align with the horrific reveal that another extermination is just six months away, that conveys Adam’s deep disgust for Charlie’s people, and that still catches the viewer’s attention even though he’s the character (I believe) who curses the most. Here the music drops and Adam is a little closer to speaking than singing; there's this shift because, like with Valentino, our perception of him is shifting. This isn’t just some egotistical idiot who wants to be called “Dick Master,” he’s the leader of an army coming to gleefully kill them. Framing a whole world of people—people Charlie loves—as “cunts” while treating their murder as a holiday that can’t come soon enough creates an, 'Oh shit. This guy is actually a threat' understanding that you can’t quite get with anything else.
On a smaller scale, cursing does other character work throughout the whole show. I watched a number of cursing compilation vids for this meta (that was a trip lol) and again, cursing is not thrown in randomly. Each character has a unique way of cursing that aligns with their personality and motivations:
As said, Adam curses the most in the show which helps sell his truly over-the-top, irreverent personality. Linguistically, the amount he curses also allows for some fun grammatical play. Lines like, “Fucking love putting my name on shit, shit’s the best!” help convey the versatility of cursing.
Also as said, Charlie curses a fair bit but she’s comparatively polite and her cursing tends to be a result of genuinely big emotions—like saying “Crap” when she’s shocked and falls, or “Shit!” when Adam locks her out of the room—rather than sprinkled into her conversations as a modifier. That leaves space to create those moments of amused surprise when Charlie really let’s loose.
Sr Pentious curses even less than Charlie which fits his secretly gooey center. He talks a big game at the start of the show, but he’s actually quite bad at being, well, bad (especially the Amazon version compared to pilot!Pentious). His idea of getting one over on Alastor is ripping a bit of his coat. He loves his Egg Bois and “doesn’t want to live” without them. He has no desire to go into battle without minions/a big machine to hide behind and, of course, he’s the first to be redeemed. He's too much of a secret sweetheart to curse a lot.
Interestingly, Niffty doesn’t seem to curse at all. At least, not enough for me to think of examples off the top of my head. Right now I’m inclined to read that as an extension of her lived experiences/design—the cute 1950’s housewife archetype who is obsessed with keeping things clean doesn’t [gasp!] curse—as well as a way to maintain her legitimate creep factor. As said, cursing is common among the hotel residents and is a way for them to linguistically fit in. Niffty, however, is positioned more as an outsider (despite how much they all obviously love her): she’s actually scary in a way most demons aren’t and despite how weird this whole world is, she stands out as someone no one else can make sense of (even Alastor). If cursing is normal, Niffty is a character who is decidedly positioned as not normal.
Angel curses a fair bit, though his irreverence is conveyed more through innuendos. Angel is great at verbally twisting others’ words (especially Husk’s) to give himself a conversational advantage:
Husk: “Go fuck yourself”
Angel: “Only if you watch me~”
Husk: “You’ve come—”
Angel: [very loud orgasm noise]
Husk: “...to the right place.”
Meanwhile, Husk uses “fuck” plenty, but he’s also one of the few characters who use “bullshit" too. I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly revealing about that choice, but just giving him a go-to curse that’s otherwise used infrequently helps make his character distinct in a cast of other cursing characters.
Vaggie occasionally curses in Spanish, showing us her heritage if she used to be human, or a distinct knowledge/verbal preference if she’s always been an angel.
Heaven, as the ‘good’ side, doesn’t curse as a general rule, which leaves room for cursing to do more of that silent character work. We’re reminded of the stuffy, overly critical beings she’s dealing with when Charlie receives the combined judgement of the court for saying, “Fuck yeah!” In contrast, we understand just how shocked St. Peter is to see a Morningstar when he lets out an unintentional “Fuck!” The angry vindication of Charlie’s “That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!” lands harder after multiple scenes of very little cursing, and Lute’s “Some crack-whore who fucked up already? / He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth—” helps set her apart as an exorcist + Adam's second in command: her shocking violence comes through in her word choice too; words that supposedly don't belong in Heaven.
In what’s arguably the funniest line in the whole show, Lucifer undermines his dramatic standoff with Adam by going, “You mess with my daughter and now I’m going to fuck you.” Beyond just cutting the tension, that fits his bumbling, oblivious personality perfectly. Lucifer is crazy powerful and can absolutely wreck Adam. He also has none of the classy intimidation that, say, Alastor displays when he tries to convey that. This is a depressed himbo who makes ducks in his free time and settles on, “Hey, bitch!” when greeting his estranged daughter. Of course he’s going to accidentally turn a threat into a promise of sex.
Which finally brings me to Alastor, someone whose cursing is already understood well by the fandom. He’s characterized as manipulatively courteous, using manners to both hide his true nature and draw attention to his power—’You’re so beneath me I’ll just calmly sip my coffee and politely ask who you are, despite the fact that we've fought multiple times.’ This is a guy who calls people “My dear” and unironically insults them with the phrase “wacky nonsense.” So when he curses you can BET it’s gonna have an impact. It sure did for me. I had to pause the episode after Alastor’s first “Fuck you” because it was so shocking to hear that language from him. And that’s the point! The scene wants that reaction from the audience. The "Fuck you"s visceral anger contrasting the fake laughs he and Lucifer have been giving, the quick-fire exchange that’s suddenly cut short by Alastor’s choice of a direct insult, the fact that he’s officially dropping the polite veneer they’ve both been indulging in and raising the stakes before Charlie intervenes, the loss of the radio filter that otherwise demonstrates his control over a situation... all of it screams, ‘THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER MOMENT.’
"Fuck you” reveals that, for the first time in the show, Alastor is legitimately threatened by someone. Which makes sense given that, you know, Lucifer is the King of Hell. Cursing for Alastor isn’t normal, so when he does curse it’s going to reveal something about a guy who otherwise is obsessed with being unknowable. Having the King of Hell dismiss him is actually infuriating in a way Sir Pentious’ threats could never be and the exchange kicks off a rivalry that rattles Alastor in ways Vox’s never has. (Side note: is it any wonder people ship them? Character A making control freak Character B feel vulnerable is classic!) It’s no surprise to me than that the one other true curse we get from Alastor is, “I’m about to end your fucking life,” delivered to Adam who, like Lucifer, poses a legitimate threat and does end up beating him. I say “true” curse because calling Susan a “bitch” does similar work for him, but the takeaway is humorous rather than dramatic. It’s funny that the only people who can piss Alastor off enough to curse are the First Man/a powerful exorcist angel threatening his life, the literal King of Hell... and Susan.
So there’s a lot going on here, more than what many viewers might assume if they approach the show as just “stupid,” needlessly vulgar entertainment. As shown above, I don’t think the cursing is needless, especially given that, well... they’re in Hell. They’re sinners, supposedly the worst that humanity has to offer, so of course they're going to curse a lot. Does cursing mean you’re a bad person? No. Can you craft a hellish world that doesn't rely on cursing to convey a group's immoral nature? Sure.
Does it make sense that a writer would equate a sinful, irreverent cast with linguistic rebellion and would want to convey a certain vibe that, frankly, you just can’t get without dropping an F bomb?
Yeah, I think so. No one has to like that kind of creative decision, but it’s worth acknowledging it as a deliberate choice.
That’s all! Thanks for reading this fucking long post ✌️
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I finally managed to put my overall thoughts about Playboyy into words and hoooooo boy do I have a lot to say.
I watched the mdl ratings go down, the blatant hate towards the plot, the actors, the scenes, the sex. There was nothing that wasn't torn apart about this series and yet I wasn't phased for a second and I kept wondering why because usually get very passionate about defending the things I love.
And then I realized that this series is the cinematic embodiment of a very lonely path that I've been walking for decades and I am already very, very used to the shame around it.
Sex is not just my special interest, I also had the privilege to grow up with excellent sex education (thanks parents) and on top of that I never struggled with my (pan)sexual identity. Sex plays a significant role in my life. But I learned VERY quickly that I should keep this to myself if I don't want to be ostracized or bullied.
"You're autistic AND you like sex? You like porn? What the fuck is wrong with you??? That's impossible."
And all the comments I read about playboyy are exactly the same just in different fonts. Ew sex. Ew kink. Ew porn. Ew sex work. Sex can't have storytelling, plot, it's just for shock value. We all read it.
And sadly it's a very accurate representation of the role sex plays in our society. Which - ironically - playboyy exactly is about.
Playboyy is a visual collection of all the experiences of lives and people in which sex plays a significant role - even the lack thereof (looking at you zouey and all you lovely aces).
It's a collection of very important social commentary, with all the characters, sets, plots and visuals as a medium. Because this way, the points they make come across even stronger and draw out all the emotions they want us to feel - which is in the rarest cases, pure arousal. Because this is, in fact, storytelling. Even if many don't want to hear it.
Telling stories about sex is so stigmatized and shunned, it only has the tiniest place to exist freely. Just like sex itself. Every sex worker, sex educator, sex therapist, everyone who has a profession that deals with sex will tell you about it. The shame. The misunderstanding. Look at the state of sex work and porn in the world. It tells you everything you need to know.
And it's happening in the middle of the "modern" western society - Yes I'm talking about you, UK and I can't not plug this here:
*btw I am not a sex worker I'm just very passionate about letting people not just live their lives but giving them a CHOICE to do what they want or don't want to do
I existed in this tiny place for decades now and I got really comfortable in my tiny lil corner, but to see a show like this go "mainstream" talking about all the topics that tickle all the knowledge I collected over the years feels so amazing. And I can tell you, all you lil smartass purists, everyone involved in this show doesn't care an inch what you think, just like me. We're used to it, believe me.
I could go on for ages about how carefully all these topics of the show are treated but what I actually want to say is that I find it incredibly ironic that a show that depicts the struggles and stigmas about sex, exactly draws out the reactions and treatments it criticises.
If you don't want to join in on the fun, that's totally fine. I get that it's not for everyone (just like sex, he). But treating it as a piece of trash just because it's a thing you personally find icky is exactly the reason the issues Playboyy talks about exist in the first place. Hence you can thank your stuck-up ass yourself that debauched individuals like me get a gem like this to enjoy.
And the fact that it didn't just find a crew, but also the funding and the mainstream distribution proves that I'm not alone in this.
It's not my lonely little corner anymore and I'm absolutely thriving on that. Cry about it.
#playboyy the series#playboyy#playboyy meta#and no im not using tumblrs mature label for this because i like to love dangerously and want you to read it
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Barefoot and Bruised
ALL ABOARD THE ANGST AND DEPRESSION TRAIN! TOOT TOOT MOTHERFUCKERS
Buggy + OOC/Reader
⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ Depression, Character Death, Saddness, Angst
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"You can't do this to me Captian!" You sobbed out, Rage in your eyes as you stared at who you thought was the love of your life. There standing on the tiny life boat with all your stuff that had been pulled from your quarters as the crew, once thought to be your family leered at you and cackled at your pathetic state.
You had been with Captian Buggy in what you had thought was a loving relationship. You gave him your heart, your body- and this is what he does to you... sees you experiencing what could only be morning sickness and has you thrown out like a stray.
Standing there still in his sleeping shorts that he had worn when he fell asleep next to you the night before.
"Oh? The Cabin Whore things she can tell me what to do?" He laughed, the crew joining in as you felt your skin burn with embrassment.
"Y-You were the only one I was with" You choked out, Buggy's eyes not meeting your own.
"And with how easy it was- Would be surprised if half the crew was with you at this point. A few nice words and you fell in a mattress like a slut" He sneered. Your heart shattered then and there- he had been the only man you gave yourself too.. and he called you a whore?-
"B-But it's yours!- you know this" You pleas, but the clown waves you off. Instead reaching into his pockets to pull out a necklace- payment for your services..
"Could be anyones- But I'm not heartless. This should suffice as payment" He said cruelly throwing the necklace.
You sobbed as the jewlery hit you and fell to the floor of the boat. Looking back up at Buggy as fat tears rolled down your face- His cocky persona staring back at you.
"P-Please- You'll kill us" You said softly, Buggy laughing at this as he waved you off.
"If it truly is mine then- It will live!" He said with a laugh, the crew also laughing at you as the boat was lowered into the ocean. You sitting in the tiny dingy and staring up at Red Top as you floated towards the islands that Buggy had chosen to abandon you at-
Your eyes locking onto him as he stared down at you- sailing away.
That imagine would haunt him for the rest of his days.. watching you sail off with that heart broken and shell-shocked look on your flushed face. Wearing the shirt he had worn the night before and nothing else-
Cruel heartless bastard.. That's the only thing he could call himself after that day.
His own ego had done this- His pride in wanting to be a famed heartless pirate had made him throw away the only person he loved. The only person who loved him. He had regretted his actions, knowing you couldn't have cheated on him nor were you a whore- but his own insecurities more willing to think you'd betrayed him rather then being the father of your child.
He had wanted to find you- searching the East Blue were he hand abandoned you, hoping to see your face and drag you back with him.
But for 6 years he had failed- Growing in his status as a Pirate but he hadn't cared for it... the alcohol no better then vinegar and the food like ash on his lips. The success wasn't worth it- Non of it could quench his hunger like you did..
So jovial men a hardened and angry mess- Willing to burn everything to the ground with a simple hope of feeling anything again that wasn't self-hatred.
It acted as a tradion of sorts for him- Buying something from a vendor as a token of what it once was- before burning the village to the ground and ripping away all its valuables... Wasn't like he wouldn't get his money back at the end of the day anyway-
Today was no different, having his crew stop on a random island on the East Blue. He always went first, going into the village to search for you and when he failed, buying some trinket to add to visual representation of his failures.
As he walked, the world no better then to be in Grayscale thinking of which place he will destroy first a flash of blue caught his eye, craning his head to follow it quickly.
Buggy stared at the starving child- A feeling of pain hitting his chest as he stared at the miserable little thing. Her feet cut up and bare red from exposure with tried blood on them, Her skin which reminded him so much of your own was dirty, ashy and covered in deep blue bruises that seemed to paint her whole form. Which was only being covered by what was once a dress and now a tattered patchy mess- A breeze most likely ready to rip it and leave her bare to the horrors of the world.
The Clown watching as the blue was matted hair, sticking up and dirty from lack of washing. Attacked to it, a equality dirty little girl digging through a trashcan in an alleyway and pulling out bread that even in his reasoning wouldn't be suitable for a bug to eat let alone a little girl.
"What are you looking at Mister?" The little girl said defensively snapping Buggy back to reality as he saw ger holding the bread like he was gonna take it from her- it would have been funny if she didn't look so damn awful.. he look in her feature, trying to track why they were so familiar to him. A twisted scowl that hung low on her rounded race, a normal nose buttoned and high however tinted red like she had a cold- But it was her eyes.. oh those sad little eyes that told him all he needed, Shaped just like yours but with his unique color. The mop of matted blue hair also cluing him in-
But he could see on her face, despite how thin, the perfect mix of you and him- it damn near took his breath away to see her. In most cases he would even call her the most beautiful being in this world..
How could you let them be on the street? Let them walk around half starved and beaten so terribly?
Stepping closer to the alleyway that she was standing in, he looked over to see only trash and a wooden box- which he assumed she'd been staying in. Confused and hurt at not seeing your face as well.
Was she by herself?
"Where is your mother kid?" He scoffed anger biting his tongue, staring at matching ocean eyes like his own. The little girl glaring up at him apprehensive of him rightly so, clearly his words hitting a nerve in her little body.
"Shes Dead-"
Her words knocking the wind from Buggy's lungs and his anger turned to himself once more...
"Oh.." blinking back what felt like tears in his eyes he glanced away for a few seconds. The burn of her words echoing in his brain as guilt began to fill his hallow heart.
"How?" He said a bit sharply, seeing the child's body language grow a bit hesitant and defensive as she took some steps back.
"She was robbed and murdered for her necklace" She said truthfully. Buggy staggering at hearing this- remembering the gold necklace he had tossed at you when he left you on that damn boat. He had ment for you to sell it.. why hadn't you sold it!? You could have lived- He could have apologized to you, grovel at your feet and begged for forgiveness!
The child continued to stare at him- clearly able to tell he was in his own mind. It took him a few seconds to recollect himself, meeting her eyes again as he kneeled down to be more eyelevel.
"What happened to her body?" He asked calmly.
"Why should I tell you?" She shot back, almost pulling a laugh from the man. She had his attitude it seemed.. poor thing-
"Fair enough-" He mused "You're a rough kid" He said calmly. Staring her down- part of him wanting to reach out and take her in his arms, cry into her dirty hair and beg for her to forgive him for leaving her and her mother.. Grovel before this begging child- However his fear of her running away was stronger. If he did that she could escape and would have to rip this village apart to find her.
"...H-How do you feel about working kid?" He said softly, his voice wavering at his own words. The way he eyes shined at hearing the opportunity for money reminded him of his own- hungry.
"Really?" She said loudly, Buggy reaching into his pockets and pulling out a 10000 beri note. Holding it out to her which she greedily took- the note looking massive in her tiny fingers. He could practically see her counting how much food she could get with the bill.
"There is more, If you agree to work on my ship as an apprentice" He said calmly, The little girl holding the note highly in her little fist and looked at his skeptical. "That and I feed my crew really well. We do circus shows too and wear whatever costumes we want" He pitched with his kindest and most performance voice, watching her eyes light up at the idea. A grin stretching across her face and he damn near wept- The same smile you had.
"I accept Mister!" She said loudly, Buggy giving a stiff nod and holding out the small bag he had been holding for her to carry- figuring she would be suspicious if he didnt have her do something for her new job. That and he would most likely give the trinket to her anyway- along with anything she could ever desire.
"Whats your name?" He asked, watching her proudly take the small bag to carry. As well as getting a better look at her arms- so thin he could see the joints of her elbows.
"Aoko" She said proudly, Buggy damn near rolled his eyes- 'Blue Child...very funny (Y/N)' He though, Standing back to his full height and waving her forward towards the pier.
"Alright. Aoko.. Let's head to your new home" He said calmly, watching her skip forward with the bag. Unaware of her Father staring right behind her, as tears rolled down his panted face finally.
#x reader#one piece#one peice x reader#one peice live action#buggy one piece#buggy the clown x reader#buggy x reader
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Monkey D. Luffy - Is it a monster ?
Warning : nsfw-ish
Genre : fluff
Synopsis : "do you think you could do a continuation from Glue with Luffy. Like it being the perspective of the crew and the person who walked in (up to you who you think would walk in). Just like what they hear and their thoughts and maybe the next morning?" - anon
Reader : male (he/you)
A/N : Part ONE // Part TWO
"Did you say something ?" Asked Usopp to Nami.
"No ?"
"Weird. I clearly heard something." He said, focusing back on what he was doing until he heard another noise.
"Mh ?" Nami looked around.
"You heard it too ?"
"Yeah, but… I didn't sound like someone talking…" She frowned, still analyzing her surroundings to find the source of the weird noise.
"Ah…"
"Again !" They both yelled at the same time.
"Maybe it's Sanji ? Did he cut himself cooking ?" Supposed Usopp.
And so the two friends walked to the kitchen, only to see Sanji humming calmly, cutting with expertise his ingredients.
"No… it doesn't look like it's him…" Nami said, grimacing. Who could it be.
"Him what ?" A voice said from behind them, scaring them as they screamed.
"Zoro ! What is wrong with you !?" Continued to yell Usopp.
"What do you mean ?" Zoro asked, scratching his ear with his pinky.
"Didn't you hear it ? The noise ?" Nami asked, ignoring him.
"I thought it was the waiter being weird."
"We thought so too, but it isn't him." She said, thinking.
Usopp grimaced, already imagining the worst. What if it was a weird monster ? Coming to kill them ? Attracting people by making weird sounds ?
"Wait. Have you seen [Name] or Luffy ?" Nami asked.
"Ahh…"
"Do you think they've been eaten ?" Usopp asked. He was already shaking.
"What ? No ?" Nami blinked, what was he on about ?
"Last time I saw [Name], he was carrying Luffy to the bedroom." Zoro remembered aloud.
It clicked instantly for Nami. Not for her two friends apparently, who were walking toward the bedroom door.
"No wait !"
"What ?" Asked Zoro, hand ready to push the door open.
"I don't think we should get in."
"Why ? You think it's in here, Nami ?" Asked Usopp, hiding behind Zoro.
But Zoro didn't wait for an explanation, opening the door wide as Nami screamed.
"Get out !" You yelled, grabbing and throwing whatever your hand could reach to the door, scaring away the intruder.
Zoro closed the door quickly, eyes wide in shock.
"Wh- what did you see ?" Asked Usopp partially hiding his eyes with his hands. But Zoro said nothing, unsure of what to say. Nami was hiding behind her hands as well, blushing.
-
You woke up from your nap after a few hours, Luffy still on top of you, fast asleep and snoring, drooling on you.
Your dick was still buried deep inside him. You yawned, gently shaking him awake. Luffy whined, not wanting to get up just yet.
It took him a bit of convincing -snacks- to get him to move off of you, making you pull out of him with a sigh. It felt so snug inside him.
You quickly got dressed and walked out of the bedroom, walking toward the kitchen for a little snack.
You noticed Nami staring at you awkwardly, hiding her face partially with her hand.
As you entered the kitchen, Sanji greeted you.
"Coming for snacks too I suppose ?"
"Yeah ! I'm hungry !" Yelled Luffy, sitting next to Zoro.
Zoro shifted a bit, trying to focus on his beer as Usopp looked anywhere but at you and Luffy.
"What's going on ?" You finally ask, looking at Usopp. You had more chance to get him to spill the beans than Zoro.
"N- n- nothing." He said in a high-pitched voice.
Then, you remembered. Someone had walked in on you and Luffy.
"Is that you, who tried to get in ?" You ask, quickly thanking Sanji for serving you food.
"W- uh what ? N- no !" Usopp was quick to deny it, crossing his arms to visually say 'no' as well.
"What's going on ?" Luffy ask between two bites.
"Someone saw us, earlier."
"Oh." Luffy laughed. "Why ?"
"It was an accident !" Yelled Usopp, standing up.
"Pervert !" Laughed Luffy.
"It was an accident !!" Usopp repeated. "Plus it's Zoro who saw !"
"Idiot ! Why did you tell them !?" Zoro stood up as well, crossing his arms.
"I'm not the one who opened the door ! You are ! What kind of pervert does that !?"
Zoro grimaced.
"You thought there was a monster ! And you think I wanted to see that !?"
"Zoro is a pervert." Luffy said with a smile before laughing again as Zoro yelled.
"I'm not ! The waiter is !"
"Huh ?" Grimaced Sanji, not happy to be brought in the discussion like that. "What did you say ?"
"You're the pervert !"
Luffy laughed and you couldn't help but smile too as the two men argued. What Zoro had seen earlier was apparently now forgotten, too busy insulting Sanji.
#male reader#m!reader#one piece#one piece imagine#one piece x male reader#one piece live action#opla#opla imagine#opla x male reader#opla luffy#monkey d luffy x male reader#monkey d luffy imagine#monkey d luffy#Luffy x reader
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Isekai Yandere Strawhats X Black Fem Reader Ch 18
Masterlist
Minor spoilers!!!!
Luffy hadn't been this upset in so long. He couldn't even remember a time when he was so upset he didn't want to eat. Robin smirked at the commotion she caused, the energy in the room was intoxicating and Nami leaving was the icing on the cake.
Using her fruit to add an ear to Sanji as he rushed to follow behind her the smirk on her face turned into an animalistic grin. The fruit of her quiet labor had finally shown itself.
Matter all the months of reading the media she was born from, watching you with the crew and with the heart pirates, then creating multiple plans that slightly failed. She was overjoyed at the fact that this one was working out flawlessly.
Luffy complained and started little arguments with Ussop and Zoro. They all but rolled their eyes at their captain knowing it wasn’t about their card game but at the fact that you weren’t with them.
Robin decided to leave the room telling them she was going to get a drink, of course to bother Sanji.
The cook was smoking thinking about everything that would most likely happen over the next few days. Robin opened the door and smiled at him sitting down on a booth asking him for Coffee.
It was silent for a while, both waiting to see if the other would spark up the obvious conversation. Robin was going to be impulsive tonight so she spoke up.
“ Are you also upset with me?”
“ No… I understand. I understand the both of you.”
She hummed and took a sip of her drink, “ I think it’s in our best interest if Luffy is upset, he can use the anger with Kaido.”
“ But what about our alliance? It’s also in our best interest to be on good terms with Trafalgar. I don’t think it was a good idea to mention that Y/N was planning on staying with them until we got to Onigashima.”
“ Perhaps…”
It was silent again, Robin did agree with the fact that they did need Law, and as of now Law and you were a package; one wouldn’t be without the other. However, after Wano Law would be defeated and so far there hasn’t been any mention of the Heart pirates since.
You didn’t know that though, you’ve been here so long and haven’t caught up to the manga yet.
Robin had another bright idea.
“ Sanji… have you gotten to read the books?”
“ Yes, a few. Why do you ask?”
“ I know everyone thinks me mentioning Law and Y/N was a bad idea… which makes me wonder who read and up to what but after Wano.. Law is defeated.”
Shock spread over Sanji’s face and the cigarette he was smoking dropped to the ground. With how calculating and cunning Law was— including with how powerful his fruit was… who could defeat him besides his captain?
“ I know you’re wondering who.. it’s Black beard.”
“ The heart pirates are ambushed when we all go our separate ways, and the Kid pirates were dumb enough to think they would be able to defeat Shanks.”
“ Does Y/N know this?”
She shook her head and the cook sighed in relief. This would work out perfectly, you’d finally be just with them and Law wouldn’t even be a problem in their lives.
The conversation continued for some time before the lights went out and the crew were soundly asleep.
You were curious about what Law did in your world. He kept it pretty broad when he told you about it and you couldn’t help but spark interest in what he did.
You moved closer to him pulling his attention from the stars. “ I’m feeling bold and curious right now…” you started. You never took your eyes off the sky but you noticed the slight redness on his face which made you hopeful for answers.
“ I want to know what you did when you were in my world. Were you alone..?”
“ I was. I didn’t want to risk anything happening to my crew mates. It was pretty weird, the entirety of it. From getting there to seeing everything.”
Law remembered Robin telling him to visualize different things and to clear his mind before she left the room they were in. He felt his entire body spin but he knew he wasn’t moving and when he opened his eyes he was in a bedroom.
He was in shock, it was as if he used his own transportation power but when he saw pictures of you on the walls he realized he was in a new world. Law read every book on your shelf, and glee spread through him as he learned so much about you.
He heard movement a few hours later, people were coming home. He quickly grabbed an eraser and hid into the closet. He planned to use his power if someone came in and found his hiding place.
A little while later the door opened, for a moment he couldn’t recognize who it was. Different hairstyle, different clothes, and the person in question was faced away. Until they turned towards him, and low and behold it was you.
You were just as pretty as you’d always had been but the far off look in your eyes let him know this was only half of the person you used to be. That’s when Law knew he needed to do everything to get you back home, where you really belonged.
You were simply on auto pilot, doing routines your body had gotten accustomed too without really thinking about it. He grew angry seeing you like this, and even angrier knowing the Strawhats seen you like this as well.
They made into half a person in both worlds. You were trapped with no one to notice or care because to them you weren’t really missing. He would’ve hopped someone from your universe had noticed— especially your parents but it seemed to him that either no one cared or they couldn’t really see the change in your eyes and certain mannerisms.
Law used the erasure to leave your home, unable to continue watching you. It would break his heart even further.
He strolled the streets, hoping to be seen as normal but the strange looks that he got from basically everyone let him know he needed to change outfits and unfortunately get rid of his beloved hat.
Law scoured your town after changing, never forgetting leave his hat inside of your closet. He went to the library, the parks to continue reading his long medical books.
And after a days work he went back to your house, and into the crevices of your closet. He watched you as you ate your dinner in your room, just so you could catch up with a new episode of your favorite show.
When you left the room he decided to stretch until a pair of eyes met his own. Before he could make a sound multiple hands wrapped around him and covered his mouth.
Robin had appeared to tell him you had been searching for his since last night.
“ Interesting. I thought when you shifted people couldn’t tell that you’re gone.”
A lump in your throat had formed after that sentence. No one knows you’re gone but the ones who do have been watching you in the other world. They all knew that you looked broken but did nothing about it.
The urge to leave tonight settled inside you. You were done with the Strawhats, you needed to sever this link they’ve created.
Law noticed the gears in your brain turning and he quickly spoke up.
“ Y/N.. if you go I want to come with you.”
Your head snapped to him and your eyes widened, “ You want to come with me?”.
He nodded and you struggled for words. Why would he come with you? Could he be plotting with the Strawhats so you’re never fully out of reach—
“ I want to continue exploring your world.. and I Don’t honestly think I can live life without you anymore.”
The solemn energy had dissipated, both of your hearts were racing, waiting for the other to say something even more embrassing.
“ I-I don’t know what to say. I would love for you to come back with me but… you have a life here. You were born here, I’m a completely different case. Not to mention law, your crew.”
“ I would still come back. I just want to be with you.. as much as I can. Can we move the conversation to you either saying yes or no?”
Law was so embarrassed by the words coming out of his mouth. He was begging for your answer at this point, he didn’t want too much flying out of his silly little mouth without knowing how you felt.
You bit your lip. Law coming home with you? Being with you. He wants to be with you? You could hear your heart in your ears as you finally decided to answer him.
“ No.”
“ Great we can- No? Oh..”
A giggle made it’s way out of your lip and you latched onto his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss.
The eyes watching you from behind all widened and a collective gasp was heard by their captain and you. The two of you pulled away and Law angrily told them off as his entire face turned stark red.
After he was sure there was no more peaking he pulled you closer and you both continued to stare at the stars.
“ Would you sleep in my room…”
“ If you’d let me.”
“ Okay.”
“ Tomorrow?”
“ Yes.”
Night turned to day and Luffy was getting ready for Wano packing his stretchy limbs into armor. As much as he was joking and playing like usual you not being around made everything less funny.
“ Robin, Did you find Y/N !”
“ Y/N is with Trafalgar, we’ll see her tonight.”
He sucked his teeth and the crew gave one another looks.
“ Where are they?”
“ I’m not too sure, the book never mentions the heart pirates exact locations.”
He groaned and threw himself to the ground. He didn’t want to be nice to Trafalgar anymore, he wanted to play games with Y/N and cuddle her like he used to.
He thought that after all they did for you, you’d come to your sense and just have fun with him everyday. You were a priority in his life just as the rest of his crew mates and he thought he pushed far enough with you.
With every other crew member that he has he never needed to do too much to get them to join his crew. Why did you have to be so different? It’s not that he hates how you are, you being so different is what made him so attracted to you.
Everyone else knew how oblivious the boy was to his own feelings, seeing his mind overload itself trying to understand why exactly he’s so upset right now.
Luffy didn’t want to say it himself, deep down he knew the emotions he felt for you different then the feelings for his crew mates. He slapped his hand on his face to cover the redness on his cheeks.
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A/N: thank you for an overwhelming 400 followers <3 I’m still shocked that all of you like this series, and the amount of new people who come everyday makes me so happy. We’re obviously nearing the end but I hope with my next series you’ll support me further 🪄
#x black fem reader#one piece#one piece x black!reader#yandere strawhats#one piece x reader#x black reader#one piece headcanons#one piece imagine#one piece sanji#zoro x black reader#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar law x black reader#law x black reader#luffy x black reader#one piece angst
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Paper Rings… maybe someday….
A/n: This is the third post to my new blog so please be nice! I'm going to try to make this into a series so please show this story a bit of love and reblog!
Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Y/n 'Haze' Mitchell
Word count: 2.4k
Summary: Y/N and Jake don't hate each other as much anymore…surely a bit of the past was brought back…
Based of the song: Lavender Haze by Taylor Swift
Warnings: Sexual themed teasing, cursing, fluff, just very detailed visuals on Jake
Part 1 / Part 2
THIS IS NOT PROOF READ SO A LOT OF SPELLING MISTAKES!
I used @rosiahills22 scenario for this fic and the love and support i get from her is amazing! Babe thank you soo much and ily!
The bar is hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, all of them competing with the music that's in the atmosphere.
The crowd is young, students from the university for the most part. Jake winds his way through the warm bodies to order a drink - the dark local beer.
Cheap, like him.
Once you have told him.
You've been flying with the daggers for 3 weeks now. You still don't truly trust him but you both don't truly hate each other. He just wants to know why. Why you disappeared with a notice. Why you didn't say anything before you left.
Your old crew. Conor. Oh how badly Jake despised him. The ex that at every chance he got he hurt you. Like he didn't care about you at all. He didn't care about you, cheated on you at every chance he got with those local whores and feelingless bitches.
Conor never cared about you. At least not in the ways Jake would. Jake has always been for you since the start. He wanted to call you his.
He even informed you that his heart beat for her and it still does.
From the squad it was only him there. Silence from the pool table, something that never happens.
Hangman took a day off today, he never does that. First time in forever, he took a break.
For the last three weeks with you around there is nothing else on his mind besides you. For many years he's been mad, depressed even anxious since you left.
He wasn't the same Jake after you left. Not the funny, caring, charming and protective. Not to anyone but since you came back he's changed again.
Everyone could tell it as well. Even Bob said that this is the first time he hasn't called him Baby on board at least twice per week.
Hangman is being nice.
He thanks Penny for his beer with that smirky kind of wink not having to pay for his drink since some not aware traveler put their phone on the bar and made his way to the pool table.
If you wouldn't know him this sight would be sad.
A man alone in the middle of the day playing pool by himself but truly Jake found it relaxing.
He picks up a cue from a bench and leans it against the table, looking around, the students have mostly left now leaving the bar to quiet down something that the Hard deck barely experiences.
He pulls out the ball holder, leaning down to the whole on one end on the table as two delicate hands tap him one on each shoulder.
"Boo!" You say into his ear causing him to jump due to shock of finding you behind him.
"Jesus! Haze! Your lucky I noticed it was you or I would've poked your eyes out," he says still recovering from the shock, holding up his right hand with his ring and middle fingers forming a 'v' as he recreates a motion of poking at you.
"Works every time," you say still laughing while leaning against the table as he gets up.
He love your laugh. When you laugh he see your child self. That's all he needs for all his life. Your laughter was the sugar in his days.
He knows, you laugh when you feel safe. So that you laugh so very much in his company is a great compliment and something he wants more of.
"Okay Haze, enough of that I wasn't so funny," he says twirling you around to face him. His hands on your hips, ignite something in you.
It's a feeling you haven't felt in a fairly long time.
You know you look very lonely playing pool alone. It's quite sad actually," you say as that snaps the two of you out of your thoughts.
"Well then, I'm not alone anymore," letting go of you he takes a step to the left reaching for the spare cue handing it over to you
"Nope. No way Jake. I'm NOT playing pool with you," you tell him as he makes his way to the other side of the table.
"Come on Haze, remember how much fun we used to have, maybe chill the 'I don't care about anymore' act and play some pool with me," he tells you, handing over the spare cue.
"Jakob please no," you beg leaning against the wall behind you, groaning that you have to participate.
"It's just a little bet. $100, nothin' big," he says smirking and not surprisingly having one of those stupid toothpicks in his mouth.
"Nothing big my ass," you shake your head regretting coming to the hard deck this early.
"Okay so how about we do this our old style, teasing," he says and again the eye contact. Those beautiful green eyes shine upon you again.
"Like teasing in-"
"Yes Haze like teasing in bed."
"You're mentally mad Hangman."
"So are you."
"Fair enough," the gaze never breaks. You take a few steps forward so you and Jake align. The sent of that light scented perfume fills his nostrils. It's so, home, for him. So you.
"Game on, Haze," he tells you lining up the white ball and his cue about to break the balls apart until he feels your hand caressing down his abs causing him quickly to turn around.
"Haze." He murmurs into your ear looking over your shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
"You told me to tease you, just like the old days."
This will be a long and hard game…
This was a very long game to be exact. For Jake it probably was the most fun he could have but then the teasing, oh the teasing he suggested himself was driving him over the edge.
He was about to strike another ball in but that little whispers of yours as you run your hand along his thigh, "Remember those little purple panties you used to love ripping off me with your teeth. Mhmm those. Well you know seeing you lean over this table flexing all those muscles makes me want you to rip them off right now," and miss.
He missed. Your dirty talk all night was getting to him.
It's a new experience. Usually this would never happen. He always kept his head in the game. Or between your legs…. But because of his own game you were winning.
Oh and have I mentioned…the daggers have arrived and have no clue what the real aim of the game is.
You see Jake is really good a teasing has been this whole game. They way he quickly grabbed your ass while everyone was busy and not observant, causing you to hit the ball to hard that you miss your ball and the white goes in the hole.
Or when his hands wrapped around you before anyone arrived and how he tugged at the hem of you skirt and his teeth pulled on your ear as he lightly moaned into it causing you to feel like a puddle and hit the ball to hard.
But the time when his hands secretly went up your top while he was making sure no one was looking and lightly tugged at the purple material covering your tities from his touch.
And every time you let him.
Every goddamn time.
You let him tease you till the end and you tease him back.
"You know what I love about this Haze, every time you lean in front of me I can see those soaked little purple panties and the way you bend so well over this table I know I could bend you like a pretzel," he whispered into your ear, moving that lose strand of hair to behind your ear.
This time you didn't miss. You have one more ball and he has two, then the 8-ball.
"Good luck, bagman. I have this in the bag," you say, doing a little jump of victory as your ball goes in.
"Mhmmmm, keep dreaming Y/n. You can never beat the master," he says but then shock.
You hand is now on his crotch on that jean covered tiny bulge that has been forming.
But god. Your hand. On his crotch. You were touching him.
Not a big shock to be honest, he's been touching you all night. But the feeling. The feeling he got the second you touched him was…wow.
After all these years, the touch from your delicate palms still to this days ignites something in him.
The gulp he takes, you can clearly see his adam's apple shake. The grip on his cue tightens, causing those strong, powerful looking veins to form.
His eyes darken. Even though you lit a flame in him.
And his heart races. Many times he told you it beats for you and it truly does.
He still loves you.
"What Jakob, can't concentrate anymore. Might just easily give up and let me win," you say into his ear and quickly pull away from here as Coyote makes his way over to the two of you.
"Wow Jake, you gonna let the witch win," Javy says and then lays his gaze to you, " What you gonna tell me that you'll hang me by my testicles?" He says so confidentially and smirks, lifting his beer to his lips.
"No, just wondering if the Egyptian way of mummification works. You know, the one where they stick a very long stick up you nose and twirl it around to pull your brain out in little strands. But I'd like to find out can you use to strands to strangle someone even after you already killed them."
With a 'pfffttttt' Coyote spits out his drink like a fig cloud in front of him, spraying the beer from his lips everywhere.
"Really Haze. While I'm eating," Fanboy shakes his head, stuffing his head with Cheesy fries, utterly disgusted of what he just heard.
"Sorry Mickey," you say, tone completely changing from the cruelty in your voice that you spoke to Javy.
And look at that, Haze. A score," he actually fucking tricked you. He used the opportunity of you being distracted so you couldn't distract him and took the shot. And he didn't miss or the white didn't go in meaning he has another shot.
"Well then Hangman show me what you got."
No more teasing came with that. Truly it was impossible, all the daggers have now made their way to the pool table so any whispers or moves would be quickly spotted by more than one.
This also meant a fair ending. Which meant it was about to get real. Without teasing and distractions, this was a fair game.
1 ball belonging to each and then the black 8-ball.
Jake hits his ball but not in the whole, instead it spirals all its way across the table slowing down and stopping at one edge.
"Your turn."
It was a easy hit. Everything was so perfectly lined up for you. Maybe if there was a Jake, touching, kissing, whispering you would have missed but there wasn't.
And your ball went in.
"YES!"
"Now now, don't get so excited, Mitchell. The 8-ball still exists."
Did I mention even chances? Oh yeah, about that… Jake easily hit in his last ball.
He did it with ease. Well truly you wouldn't know. Your eyes focused on his flexing arms and how those veins you puddle over returned.
"Well look at this now Haze. We're in this even. It could be me or you. Probably me though."
Fuck. He was right. It will be probably him. The chances of you hitting it in from this aliment are impossible and if you hit the wrong way Jake's next hit causes him to win.
You couldn't be teasing each other but Jake… Well Jake was Jake.
"Come on Haze. Your not gonna make it. It's impossible. Boom, it's over for you. You gonna try even though I'm gonna win? Wow. Damn you have no chance."
You see Jake was just being annoying.
And it worked, you missed.
You fucking missed.
And with one light touch, he will send the ball in, winning.
And he does.
Jake fucking Hangman Seresin, just bet you $100.
"Oh would you look at tha'. I won Haze. Hand it over," Jake smirks, making grabby hands to indicate he wants the cash.
You reach into a pocket at the back of your denim skirt, reaching for your phone, grabbing two fifties from your case and slipping the phone back to its place.
"You know what Jake," you say handing the cash over, holding onto his wrist and his eyes fall upon you, "They should have called you hangover."
"Why so, angel?" He asks generally confused.
"Because you're giving me a damn headache," you say smirking and turn around, walking away.
Jake smirks watching you walk away for some reason proud and tall. They way he loves to see you.
He is so interested in you he only notices Coyote as his friend nudges.
"You know what Javy, I'm gonna marry that girl someday."
"Hey Bagman!" You call from the Hard deck door.
"You gotta keep your head in the game," you say smirking, holding up his watch in your hand.
He quickly grabs his wrist to notice it's missing but when he looks back up you're gone.
"Good luck with doing that mate," Javy says clapping Jake on the back, "She's impossible to keep or get."
A/n: And this is the third post for Haze and Hangman! Please reblog this post and give them love! Please tell me if you want to be added to the taglist and follow this blog since we're only getting started!
Tagging some friends:
@callsign-magnolia
@shanimallina87
@callsign-dexter
@rosiahills22
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#jake seresin#hangman x reader#hangman top gun#top gun hangman#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin imagine#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x y/n#jake hangman fic#jake hangman x reader#jake hangman x you#jake hangman imagine#hangman imagine#hangman seresin#hangman fanfiction
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ALRIGHT- DROPPING OFF A WHAT IF IN HERE!
What If (BR AU) : SMG4 lost all of his vision during the arc?
Since I can't stop thinking about this ass (curse this what if-) I'd consider making a fic about this <3<3
Title: Lost of sight, souls intertwined
Tags: Fluff/Angst/Comfort
Summary: Four with his permanent loss of vision, it's been too difficult for him to manage. But with a help of his crew and someone in particular helped him reach up and discover something new.
PART 1/2
Second Part
After the man in white and blue desperately helped his ex rival's loss of an eye, he gave up from all of his strength to heal his injury.
By the time Mario placed his hand on his shoulder, he stood by his side. "Mario believes in you!"
SMG4 grunts from the power he'd been releasing for three's eye, he felt himself getting drained off. In a matter of seconds, SMG4's abilities grew weaker giving up every power he had left.
*huff... huff...* everything started to go hazy, everything from his vision went blurry. Everything and all of it. Just to SAVE. His partner.
He did it all.
For love. For him. And to keep him alive.
His posture swifted slowly as he starts to lose his balance, from his mind where it gave him dizziness. His head and his arm had been damaged, and to both of his eyes...?
Almost falling down to the ground, Mario had quickly caught his best friend just as he was about to hit the floor.
Four wanted to open his eyes but even tho he wanted to... his visual view has lost its sight and its impairment.
He felt so weak, but he wouldn't give up. Because the battle with Niles is not over yet.
"I- I can't see anything..." he tried touching his own face, blinking twice, trying to feel his hands or even look at them. But it felt like the light source of the whole world, shut to his eyes.
Everything is black.
He felt numb.
"Guess I see what SMG1 is talking about." Four's fingertips touched to his skin, pointing to both of his eyes.
Mario's sad face formed at the blue's message.
Three opened his eyes, shocked that his injury has been fully recovered and with his vision clear again. He turned to look at his partner who sat beside him.
SMG4 seemed fine, tilting his head to the left seeing the angle from the view. Both of his eyes had been permanently damaged and could not be recovered due to its impact.
His optic nerve had been cut out from transferring what he could see, it has been completely destroyed.
He stared at both of SMG4's eyes in horror. How could this be happening to him now...?
"SMG4... I-" three wanted to speak, but Melony's words came out alerting the star trio.
"I got this! Go to the ship!" Melony with deity form on use, she swung the sword to her side. Mario and Three looked at each other.
It wasn't over yet.
They both nodded, Three started to carry SMG4 in bridal style with all the might and capability.
Three could carry Four without any struggle on whatsoever. (Thanks to his usual workout routine and liftings)
SMG4 couldn't process from what was happening, it happened so fast and counting with the loss of his view.
He'd been silent and confused with what was going on, he wanted to question who the person he'd been carried with.
"Come on Mario let's go!" Three spoke up, to now Four knowing that it was his partner who've been carrying him with strong arms. He winced after hearing three's voice.
"Ahh! Mama Mia! It's not working!" Mario aggressively pushed the buttons all in one try, they heard a clicking noise and it was... "TERRANCE?!" SMG3 saw his baby undangan knuckles, appearing from the side of the ship.
When Terrance quickly fixes the ship and had it working again, the trio including terrance went inside. Three slowly puts Four to the chair, assuring his company by placing his left hand brushing to his leg for comfort.
"Hey- hey- everything's gonna be okay dude. Just- just sit tight in there... you're gonna be fine." SMG4 stayed silent, he had no idea whatever sh-t just happened. Or he had completely lost his mind hearing what Three had said to him.
He had lost both of his sight of seeing, Niles still right after with the avatar with Three and him, and what three does is carry him to a safer place?
How crazy can that be? How- in the hell- could someone like Three possibly would also do everything to save Four right after saving his enemy?
They've both hated each other, they've been enemies for who knows what sh-tass years could there have, he knew how unbalanced or unstable their friendship with eachother have been. So why would he?
He'd been an asshole since before, so why would three? Speaking of it, he turned out to be a complete mess by ruining his own productions and the name itself.
He treated his name like trash, he hated Three's sudden succession, he'd been the one JEALOUS about him. So why would three? Why would he? Why couldn't three just left him there to die? Why can't he just ignore that Four saved him? Why?
Was it the reason for Three's development? Is he trying to give him the signals that- he MAY as well take it serious that three has been wanting to move on right after that 2020th wotfi? Right after EVERYTHING that happened, even without him having any simple hint of realisation that he just wanted to do some good quality contents than RUINING ANYTHING from SMG4?
"Take a hint." They say. And that hint wasn't even close enough. He was just too blind, too oblivious for the fame, fans, views, and his daily life with his phone sticking to social medias.
He had a hard time to recognice or even describe what a person has been feeling, he had no idea what consequences would face as soon as He assumed three of doing something bad.
Sure he was an extrovert. Without any knowledge of "getting to understand how someone feels"
It took too long for SMG4 to respond from whats been happening in reality at the moment, he had been stuck from his mindscape and couldn't say a word.
"Ahh! We've been downed!" Mario screamed to where it seems like the trios float in mid air. "Can someone ATLEAST tell me what the heck is going on here?" Four began to yell, brought up by three and Mario's suprise.
"The ship blew up! How are you not feeling any pain from that at all?!" The man in purple yelled back, but not the usually loud tone to SMG4.
"..." Four stayed silent again- how long did he zoned out? His whole body went numb during the explosion, and how is he still here?
"OI! I'm talking to you!" SMG3 tried snapping his fingers to knock out his senses, which it worked.
With Melony showing up again, Three and Mario cheered. Waving to the trios, she prepared herself to defeat zero once and for all. The anti memes showed up half away.
SMG3 thought of an idea, to where Mario had noticed after spotting anti memes on its way. "Don't do it SMG3! Remember how you and SMG4 had gone too coo coo crazy while using that?" He spoke in gibberish language.
"What? Don't tell me you want to use anti memes again!" SMG4 without seeing anything but pitch black, he can still have his sense of hearing.
"I..." there must be some other way-
Floating in the endless abyss, Three held Four's hand as Mario grabbed Four's shoulder. "Theres another way but..." (but?)
SMG3 gripped Four's hand tighter, much to his suprise.
Three used his other hand to pull out Terrance from his pocket. "Terrance...I'm sorry little buddy. We need you to save the world... please don't hate me... goodbye."
Terrance couldn't quite understand anything, but gave him a puzzled face right after Three hugs him. "I love you"
SMG4 heard Three's words loud and clear, it hurts to listen. He knows how Terrance meant to Three and how much Three meant to him.
Three lets go of Terrance, trying to hold back his tears locking his hand with SMG4.
"Three..." SMG4 whispered from his breath, rubbing Three's knuckles with his thumb. "We- we don't have a choice." Sniffed by Three, closing his eyes.
By harnessing Terrance's meme energy, it transferred to the avatar's body making Mario's head big. It was the only option to survive.
The time has now come to an end of Zero's defeat and Melony's victory. The world is saved by the hero. The crew were now in a hospital recovering for their bruises and injured parts.
In a room all alone, there was SMG4 putting himself to rest as SMG1 sighed looking at both of his eyes. "I told you, using your meme power alone would do damage to your body..."
"Can you even see me?" SMG1 asked him, unknowingly that the question made it a bit too harsh. "Ya think I could see any dim of the light or anything at all?" Four glared at the ceiling, not being able to look at the blue box or even visualize what surrounds him.
SMG1 coughed at his statement trying not to make everything awkward. "Sorry- I guess I'm getting a bit too old enough, still four. May I check your arm?" SMG4 hummed in response.
"What does my eye look like?"
...
Silence fills the air with SMG1 examining his eyes looking both sides and checking underneath his sleeve, taking off both of his gloves. The results were shocking to him.
"Both of your eyes has lost all of its vision. With what you can imagine both of it right now, would be plain white and emptiness. Your eyes are far too damage enough to be repaired, we don't have that kind of power to recover your eyes. I'm sorry."
SMG1 frowned at Four, seeing him helpless at this state he'd get even weaker from day by day without someone looking after him.
SMG4 blinked, it's all black. He can't see the light, he can't see anything, from where ever he looks. Nothing at all.
"What... else?" SMG1 touched his arm. "From your hand then to half of your arm, it- has a crack. You're gonna need meme energy for that, you'll have to wait for a couple of weeks for recovery. DON'T try to lift anything heavy or even trying to use them, it'll end up fracturing even more..." SMG1 used a cast and put bandages on his wrist then to his arm.
"But- what about my contents? What about Twitter? What about my fans? What would I even do without them-" "it's your choice to that out yourself."
SMG4 covered his stomach, hugging himself from the bed. "You won't be all alone just for taking yourself off from social media, you have your own crew here running their daily basis. How about you try figuring that out to yourself? Go live on."
SMG4 sat back up. "I won't be able to see what the whole world would look like now..." "I'm afraid so..." SMG1 sat next to him.
"But you're gonna be fine." "How are you so sure about that?" SMG1 smirked. "You don't think Mario and the others are here with you for no reason right?"
"You also have us, and even SMG3 can help" wait- SMG3?
A sound of a person screams at the hallway. "I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HIM-" with another high pitch voice of trying to refuse him by going any further.
SMG4 turned to the direction where the unaudible sound was coming from, from One getting down from the bed and opening the door.
Three ends up getting pulled back by SMG2 whose been holding his leg, he tried shaking him off by wigglingit. "Wait three!" "I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF HE'S ALRIGHT-" "SMG3! Wo-o-a-oa-AHH!!" Two held his leg tightly.
"SMG4 needs some time to rest! You can't interrupt him-" SMG2 tried his best to put out the reason to calm Three's impatient waiting.
"I just need to see him, I want to see if he's-" "SMG3?" SMG1 called out his name, shutting the door, making the two turn their heads. "Is- is he okay? Not like I care about him or anything-" SMG1 and SMG2 looked at Three unamused.
"He's alright, SMG4 is resting. Just a... just a fractured arm and lost of both visions, his arm will heal about a few more weeks. For his eye however, it's too late to save that now..."
SMG3 calmed himself down, letting Two go from his leg.
"Me and Two will check on Melony if she's doing fine, we'll both leave you two right at it" SMG3 nodded. "Oh and Three?"
"You should probably start looking after SMG4 for now, Four is already blind. The worst that could happen is him tripping over a flight of stairs. DON'T fail this as a Meme Guardian..." SMG3 took off his hat.
"I wont." SMG1 and 2 proceeds walking to the hallway, and Three watching SMG4 through the window. He knocks on the door. "Come in" Three opens the door and saw SMG4 sitting on the bed looking at nowhere.
"Uh- hey- SMG4 it's me-" closing the door behind him, he sat to a chair facing infront to the man in blue.
"How are your eyes?" SMG3 glanced at those white and empty faded ones, guilt and pity shook his guts. "It's all black, man." Four gripped his arm covered in a cast that One had put.
"Why are you even talking to me?" "What- what do you mean? I came here to make sure if you're doing okay! And now you're angry?" Three could feel his heart getting torn bit by bit.
"Do you really hate me THAT much? SMG4 I saved your ass back there, you saved me and my eye! And now you'd just expect this to yourself that I'll be the one to just- IGNORE you like that? What kind of sick joke is this?!" SMG4 couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he couldn't read what emotions Three has been giving.
"Look Four, I worry about you- SO many f-cking times- and I wish I could just ignore them" His tone lowered and started to go soft, suprising him.
"But I can't because we were both linked and we were meant to be the Guardians to the memes. You've never paid much attention to me, you've never paid much attention from the actions you use with other people, I know what and how manytimes you did to keep ruining my life."
"Then why?" SMG4's voice deepened. "What do you mean why? Call this horsesh-t talk but- you're still my partner. No matter how many times or how many things you've done by mistake, you're still here." SMG4 opened a gap from his mouth, wanting to say something.
Anything.
But- no.
SMG3 stared down to his shoes. Worried, upset, and sadness overwhelmed his mind. Staring down for too long, Four slowly moves his arms towards three and by accident.
He ends up slapping his face. "Ow-" "Oh shoot- sorry about that-" "Just what are you doing?" Huffed by three, in annoyance. "Well Mr. 'Dark-Blue'" -"it's actually purpl-" "I was trying to touch your face."
"Wha- m-mh- my- my WHAT now?!" Four faced at SMG3's side, with both of his hands still remains hanging. Gesture his way of showing something. "You better not do anything funny..." SMG3 carefully placed both of his hands to both of Four's wrist and did his best to not startle the man.
(What am I doing... this is ridiculous... either way... I just... need to buy sometime for his... company...) even now with three hesitating to let his partner's hands reach his face, he wanted to do this. Even tho how much he hated this.
With the man being blind, it would be hard for him to imagine what experience SMG4 can be feeling or having this right now. This hurt him so bad, wanting to hide it.
His eyes softened looking at his face. Then gently, little by little his newly paired gloves have now touched his cheeks.
*ba-dump ba-dump*
Three's cheeks started turning red, as Four's eyebrows went up as he felt Three's soft and smooth skin. It was his first time ever getting his hands touched from his face.
"Your, your face is smooth, and so soft, it's like I want to squish it-" SMG4 smiled at the end of the phrase mocking SMG3. "I only let you touch it just this once! It's not like I like it or anything..." Four's thumb brushed through the purple's mustache.
"You're such a tsundere SMG3! Until now" SMG4 giggled, not even noticing how close his and Three's face were. "N-no I'm not!" He huffed in irritation.
"Baka." Four's smile became bigger at the time Three said the line. "You are~" "OI! NOW YOU'RE JUST TEASING ME AGAIN!" SMG3 pushed both of his hands away with Four now laughing.
Hearing SMG4 laugh gave something what Three shouldn't have felt before. Something from that laugh, his smile, everything about it. Was special.
By the time Four stopped laughing, he shed a single tear. "I just like hearing that from you, all that I want to say is... thank you. And I'm sorry too" with Four fixing his position, and fingers fidgeting.
Ready to get hitten by bricks with cold responses, but never getting any. Three grabbed his right hand.
"You're welcome" He puts up a smile, but then the water from his eyes formed.
"And..."
"I'm sorry too..."
-
LEAVING YALL A CLIFF HANGER TAKE THAT!
#lizaluv#smg34#smg4#smg3#smg4 smg3#shygirl4991#smg3 coffee n bombs#mario#3's coffee n' bombs#3’s coffee n’ bombs#smg3 coffee and bombs au#coffee n bombs au#brewing romance#coffe shop au#revelation arc#smg4 revelations
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BLACK NOIR | EARVING (the boys)
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“Pandora’s Melody” (Black Noir x Fem!Reader)
| It’s your first Christmas Benefit since working for Vought and you’re starting to chafe a little at all the rules. Least the music’s finally getting good.
| SFW, office rules, workplace discrimination(?), Vought International’s dress code policy & casual disregard of The Crown Act
| Pic Source: The Boys (s1)
| 800+ words
“Don’t fuck this up,” Ashley had said, sweaty handkerchief that was far too drenched to mop anything else up clenched tightly inside her fist, and a closed lip smile straining her spotty red painted lips.
And for your part you’d smiled back, nodded your head like a heavily - and repeatedly - hit bobble head; eager to keep your position and even more desperate not to be seen as the unfriendly black girl lest you lose your job.
To your credit it’s not until far later in the evening when everybody’s inhabitions are totally fucked, the camera crews and reporters are gone, and even most of The Seven have left to do things far less beneath them than attending a company mixer that you loosen the hold your heart’s keeping on Ashley’s words just…a bit.
Suddenly the music gets a little less mind numbingly fucking boring too and your mood gets a little less sullen, and even with your mandatory three inch heels shackled to your feet you finally begin to feel the music. So bobbing along, and finally downing the singular glass you’d been nursing the whole evening, you find yourself searching out whoever’s creating the new and far more engaging melody.
Your heart almost stops when you realize it’s Black Noir at the piano, gloved fingers flying over the keys, quite literally the only hero still bothering to attend this thing.
When a quick glance up shows that even Mr. Edgar’s no longer in attendance - though never unseeing you’re sure - you start talking mostly out of shock. You’ve never really been this close to any of the hero’s before now.
“Good - ah - good choice,” you murmur, “Hapless is really just such a downer for a Christmas Benefit.”
Muscles tense and breath short, fingers clasped together behind your back like a vice, you wait a beat for his reaction.
When all he does is kind of glance your way though you nearly breath out a sigh right in front of him before catching yourself, and you feel so free that for a second you want to take your hair down from its “more professional” slicked back bun so you can really feel the music through you.
Instead you untuck your dress shirt to quell the urge. Fuck, your pantssuit was starting to feel increasingly more suffocating the longer you worked here. At this point you felt like you’d end up buried in the damn thing then forced to partially exist as a pantsuit wearing ghost for the rest of your forever unrest for good measure—
—annnd think positive thoughts. The music is good, you want to sway. You settle for keeping up your subtle head bop and adding a few soundless taps against your thigh to the mix.
After he doesn’t slice you in half - or some other such gruesome death dealing action - you take another few moments to identify the song Noir himself has begun playing.
It’s lovely, and as much as you want to close your eyes to visualize the song’s name a bit better in your mind you opt not to so you can continue watching the way that Noir plays.
It’s more graceful than you’d expect (but considering the way you’d seen him train that was a little foolish of you). The silent hero’s fingers move across the keys like a true virtuoso, hands gliding from note to note with hardly a thought but still exactly right. In the entire time that it takes you to place the song he doesn’t miss a single beat and doesn’t lose his tempo; not a thing about how he plays looks or even sounds off.
Normally you’d be remiss to label anything perfect, but if there were ever an exception…
…Noir’s playing was perfect.
A small smile stretches your plush lips.
Delightfully so.
“The Minute Waltz,” you say after finally placing the song, only shuffling in place a little.
Which is how in the next minute you end up seated next to him after his head had snapped to you - and honestly you’d half figured he’d stopped minding you by that point so you’d been plenty surprised to find out otherwise.
Black Noir had stared you into submission with exactly one incline of his head to convey his invitation in any clear manner until, with held breath and a prayer, you’d sat down beside him where he’d made room on the piano bench.
Then it’s touch and go as - with your heart firmly in your throat and hoping to god you don’t screw anything up - Noir takes to eventually wanting you as more than just a captive audience. He plays a few simple chords, pauses, then looks over to you until after not too long you begin copying him.
By the end of the function your heart’s settled and you can slowly, but steadily, get through the entirety of Gymnopedie No.1 - with Noir pushing the pedal of course.
He even gives you a little silent round of applause once you’ve played through it on your own.
Like that, Noir at your side and surrounded by all the drunk limp dicks you work with tripping and throwing up over themselves, is the first time you feel like a real part of Vought.
NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!
Um, I just wrote this tonight at random and with a cold so if there’s mistakes no there isn’t. Also, it’s Christmas and I figured I had a themed fic in me tonight so here you go and Happy Holidays (I guess)!
Don’t question how the Reader-Insert knows the names of these songs, it doesn’t matter.
btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!
#black noir#earving#black!reader#black y/n#black noir x black!reader#the boys x black!reader#christmas fic#black noir x reader#black noir imagine#x black!reader#the boys#the boys imagine#the boys black noir#the boys earving#the boys x reader#vought international
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꽃파당: 조선혼담공작소 - Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency - Whumplist - 🇰🇷
Whumpees: 고영수 (Go Young Soo) played by 박지훈 (Park Jihoon) // 마훈 (Ma Hoon) played my 김민재 (Kim Min Jae) // 도준 (Do Joon) played by 변우석 (Byeon Woo Seok)
Synopsis: A common blacksmith's son is kidnapped and selected to become the King of Joseon, but is unable to wed his childhood sweetheart, Gae-ttong, for her lowly status. He turns to Joseon's best matchmakers in request to make her into an eligible lady. (Google)
Genre/Tags: Period, Romance, Found Family, Royalty, Emeto, Gagged, Captive, Torture, Restrained, Trauma, Wound Reveal, Semi Comedy
Watch On: Netflix, Viki (Original), DramaCool, KissAsian
Note: Park Jihoon’s character is not in any way the main focus of this drama however he was the most whumped and I’m a ride or die Park Jihoon girlie so he is listed first 😘
TW: Emeto
⚠️WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW⚠️
고영수 (Go Young Soo)
1.01-1.06: none
1.07 : upset
1.08-1.10 : none
1.11 : upset (semi comical)
1.12 : kicked repeatedly, beaten, harassed, manhandled, traumatic memories triggered, roughly scratching on his arm, (flashbacks: harassed, scared, bloody lip), saved, emotional, concern for him, semi wound reveal ::: manhandled, struggling, gagged ::: thrown to the ground, intimidated, threatened, scared, near tears, roughly scratching on his arm
1.13 : anxious, (flashbacks: dirty, anxious, harassed, called an animal, hit repeatedly, had things thrown at him, bloody lip, cut cheek, anxious, wound reveal, scratching at his wound on his arm), crying ::: intimidated, threatened, anxious, fell to his knees, shaky breathing, (trauma response: rubbing perfume-like product all over his body) ::: intimidated, threatened, shaking, (traumatic flashbacks: manhandled, accidentally killed someone, covered in blood), crying, shaking
1.14 : shaking, intimidated ::: anxious, friend calmed him down (really sweet moment) ::: (flashbacks: intimidated, threatened) ::: anxious, shaking, traumatic memories triggered, (traumatic flashbacks [small cuts but all one scene]: slapped multiple times, restrained (rope), bloody, shaking, forced to aid in an execution, splattered with blood, scratching his arm, kicked repeatedly, slapped multiple times, verbally abused, curled in on himself, failed to escape, hung (rope) by his wrists, chin grabbed, struggling to breathe, blood coming from his mouth, crying, begging, threatened, weak, hand tied to a machete, out of it, crying, scared, shaky breathing, grabbed, blood all over his face), having visual and tactile hallucinations, anxious, emotional, crying, anxious, rubbing himself with the perfume product, flinching away from someone
1.15 : crying ::: manhandled, shaking, (traumatic flashbacks [breaks but the same scene] hunted, hiding, scared, hiding, hungry, desperate, scared, flinching away from someone x2), shaking ::: out of it, near tears, crying
1.16 : (flashbacks: anxious, flinching at being touched, looked after), surrounded, (traumatic flashbacks: hand tied to a machete, out of it, crying, scared), fell to his knees, crying ::: captive, told nobody would ever find him, called an animal, shaking, crying, shaky breathing ::: concern for him ::: taken, manhandled, concern for him ::: forced to kneel, nearly killed, surrounded, saved
마훈 (Ma Hoon)
1.01 : hit on the head (comedic)
1.02 : hit on the head (semi-comedic)
1.03 : none
1.04 : (nightmare: grieving his older brother)
1.05 : none
1.06 : fought (brief), pushed against a wall with a knife to his throat (he doesn’t rlly care), saved
1.07 : none
1.08 : concerned for someone, fought ::: angry
1.09 : none
1.10-1.11 : in shock
1.12-1.13 : none
1.14 : sobbing
1.15 : crying, concern for him ::: in shock
1.16 : fought, grieving ::: grieving, comforted
도준 (Do Joon)
1.01-1.07 : none
1.08 : emotional, (flashbacks: manhandled, crying) ::: emotional, traumatic flashbacks, crying
1.09 : emotional
1.10 : fought, arm slashed, hunted, arm treated, emotional
1.11-1.12 : none
1.13 : drunk, concern for him, gagging
1.14 : none
1.15 : crying
1.16 : none
———+———
MORE WHUMP LISTS >>> {x}
#whump#asian whump#whump list#whumplist#asianwhump#kdrama#kwhump#flower crew Joseon marriage agency#꽃파당: 조선혼담공작소
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Alien Fantasy-File 6: They're firing at us!
"Would anyone care to explain why we haven't gotten any reports back yet?! " The monarch shouted. Their bioluminescent body glowing with rage.
"We're trying to contact them your highness, but they're not answering back!" The communication unit replied. The entire crew felt a sense of dread as they saw the Monarch's glow intensify. They slammed one of their appendages against their seat. This was supposed to be a simple mission.
"Earth"...the Human's home planet. It was ripe of resources. Such a rich planet inhabited by a species that, in comparison to most of the Galaxy, was pretty weak and primitive. It was supposed to be a simple mission. Invade earth, display their might, ensure that the humans surrendered and let themselves be consumed by the light of the Mongeath Empire. It should've been simple. And yet, hours had passed. Not a single report back. Until now that is...
"Your majesty! We're getting a transmission!" The communication unit said. Quickly answering the call. The screen beamed to light, showing a captain that who's light seemed dim in comparison to the monarch.
"Ahh, Officer Ecta. I trust that you have good news to report? have the humans finally realized that resistance is futile?" The monarch asked. The Officer looked back at his crew, all of whom seemed to barely glow.
"Your majesty. I...." They stuttered. Barely capable of glowing brighter. An officer like them had to be brave in the face of their monarch. Dimming meant weakness. "We couldn't get past the clouds of their planet."
A moment of silence seemed to hover through the mother ship. everything within proximity of the monarch seemed to dim in anticipation for what was about to happen next.
"Care to repeat that, Officer?" The monarch hissed. Not believing what they were hearing right now. Another member of the Officer's squad piped up.
"Your Majesty. What our captain is trying to say is. It seems the humans were anticipating our arrival." The Monarch's glowing appendages curled in confusion. They knew they were coming?
"So why haven't we gotten word of their surrender yet?" The monarch asked.
"We haven't able to launch our attack yet, your majesty. We haven't even been able to get past the clouds." The officer reluctantly reported. A loud hissing sound seemed to come from the monarch, causing everyone in the mothership to freeze.
"Explain...." The monarch demanded.
"Right as our fleet began to close in to breach the clouds, several of hour ships got struck by explosions." The officer explained.
"They were everywhere, Your majesty. They all had different colors, Different sizes. The sky was full of them. Some our ships ended up getting shot down while trying to breach their clouds." One their crewmembers added.
"So you couldn't get past their cannons?" The monarch asked.
"I dare not say they are cannons your highness. We don't have a good view of what's going on down there. We've fallen back and retreated, but they still seem to be firing." The officer explained. "We have some recordings if you wish to see them."
The monarch looked at their officer with frustration, their glow intensifying so much.
"Show me..."
The screen changed visuals, showing the skies of earth. The entire communications unit nearly recoiled upon hearing the immediate bang from one of the explosions. The Monarch observed with shock. She could faintly see several explosions glowing from beneath the clouds. all being prefaced by a loud whistle before a "bang" followed suit. Soon, A window appeared on the screen. Displaying an S.O.S. signal.
"Your Majesty?"
"We'll get back to your later, Ecta." The monarch declared. Commanding the communications unit to answer the signal. The screen beamed and showed another member of the fleet. Their body was faintly glowing. they seemed to be exhausted.
"Your Majesty......E.....others.....arely made it......live....hip is broke....." The Monarch's anger seemed to intensify with each passing second. They could barely hear the soldier over all those explosions. they were MUCH louder down there. Most of the members on board were doing whatever they could to shield their auditory receptors. The soldier turned their camera to show the monarch what was going on. And the sight seemed to leave the monarch speechless.
They had a much better view of the explosions. Sure enough, the sky was filled with them. All with different colors and different shapes and sizes. A few them seemed to be shaped like what humans thought a star looked like. A few seemed to spell out something that the monarch couldn't quite make out. Numbers? 2....0.....Ugh....
The monarch's anger turned to confusion as the kept looking at the display. Their fleet wasn't trying to get past the clouds anymore as was explained earlier. So why were they still firing? Was this really what was stopping them? The monarch couldn't take her eyes off of the explosions. They had to admit, it looked beautiful. They could've kept looking at the explosions if the loud sound didn't snap them out of their trance.
".....on't know......o your ma......ewmates are wou....." The soldier tried to explain. Once more, his speech was barely audible over the loud explosions. Their hearts nearly stopped beating upon hearing a very loud explosion going off nearby. The soldier dropped their communications device and panicked.
"....are nearby...I need...." The soldier shouted and quickly scrambled to run away. But seemed to trip over the plants that were nearby. The communications device seemed to slowly lose it's signal until the call completely ended. The monarch stared at the screen completely stunned. She called the Officer back.
"Has our fleet tired to strike from another side of the planet?" The monarch asked.
"I've been getting reports of the rest of our fleet having the same planet your majesty. We don't see any ways for us to get past these clouds without our ships being damaged by these explosions." The officer replied.
"...And they're still firing?" the monarch asked.
"I'm afraid so. As of now, our ships are steering clear from the clouds, but they haven't stopped firing yet." The officer answered.
"Very well. I'll think of something. Keep me updated." The monarch commanded. Earning a salute from the officer before closing the call. The Monarch's light seemed to dim a little. What to do...what to do...
Did the humans know they were there? they hadn't gotten a transmission from their planet. Unless they didn't want them knowing that they'd be striking back. The monarch began thinking back to those explosions.
The shapes, the sizes. The way they seemed to cover the sky. Were they meant for defense? Was it some kind of ritual?
They looked so deadly...yet so beautiful...
----------------------
"That was amazing, Gramps!"
"Heh. Isn't it? Happy new years, champ!" The grandpa said. putting away a pack of his loudest fireworks.
"Dad, Are you trying to start a forest fire? What if someone was down there?!" The mother chided.
"Relax. Nobody ever goes down there. That forest is known to be filled with bears." Gramps chuckled while looking down at the cliff he had tossed the firework down in. "That's why you are never going there, am i right?" He said patting his grandson.
"So you're okay with bears getting hit by fireworks?" The mother asked bewildered. Gramps shrugged.
"Call it revenge for all the poor saps that got eaten by them." Gramps said while cackling, The mother could only shake her head in disbelief. The mother felt a tug on her sleeve.
"Mommy! Mommy! I saw another shooting star!" Her younger son said.
"Again?" The mother chuckled while lifting her son up with a smile.
"Yeah! I saw 3 falling at the same time!" Her son said with glee.
"Wow. You're getting a lot of wishes tonight, huh?" The mother chuckled. The family gathered at the cliff and continued watching the fireworks. all of them smiled as they looked forward to what this year had in store for them.
.....
"Mommy? Why is there so much smoke over there?"
#humans are space fae#humans are weird#humans are space orcs#aliens#science#fantasy#The Alien Fantasy
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Kanan’s Birthplace
Years ago, I used to have a Star Wars-themed website. I couldn’t keep it active (financially and content-wise) and my priorities had shifted, so I exported all of my articles and shut it down. A conversation earlier today with The Rogue Rebels reminded me of this article I wrote about the information shared at the Celebration Chicago’s Star Wars Rebels panel.
It’s a long article and most of it is outdated now, but there’s one portion in which I talk about the theory surrounding Kanan’s birthplace I wanted to post here:
Filoni's Storyboarding
It’s no surprise Filoni did extensive storyboarding throughout the final season in order to visually get across the story he had in mind, especially when it came to the parts related to the Force. There’s only so much you can pack into one episode, so it was crucial to get it right because the story depended on it.
“I needed them to be shot a certain way, so I would sketch constantly,” he said. “I would do all these drawings and hand them to the episodic directors and say do it like this. They shoot it beautifully, but I needed to give them insight because it was a difficult thing. And for a while, I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work, but the staging and the framing of everything helps the audience connect. And so, I really needed to have a close hand on most of what was going on in season 4 to really land it correctly because it was the first time we got to end a series in the animation division and there was a lot of pressure on that. It had to have a purpose, it had to have a true expression of what I was taught about Star Wars and its deeper meanings. I wanted it to resonate with George’s overall sense of structure and being for what he wanted in Star Wars.”
As he spoke about developing the story and trying to visually capture the events as he envisioned them, fans were treated to never-before-seen storyboards from season 4. Some lines of dialogue were blurred out probably because many things changed between the concept and final stages, including the parts pertaining to Kanan’s story.
In a past interview [with BOMM, 2017], Freddie Prinze Jr. made it sound like there was more to the story and said, “You will learn, quite specifically, that where you think Kanan is from, he is not. You’ll learn where his roots and origins are and what he specifically meant to the Jedi Order. Some of this story will be told and has already been told... through hieroglyphs in a cave. And you will start to discover more of that and discover more of Kanan’s connection to the planet Lothal, which he’s even questioned himself in episodes that have aired.”
We learned about Kanan’s connection to Lothal and why he and the Ghost crew kept coming back. As for the hieroglyphs on the cave walls, we didn’t learn much about them and how that pertained to Kanan’s story, if at all. At the time, fans were theorizing Kanan was born on Lothal, making his connection to the planet that much stronger.
Looking closer at this particular set of scenes from the episode “Kindred,” they might have been right. Ezra asks Kanan, “How does the wolf know that?” after Kanan reveals his birth name is Caleb Dume. In the episode, Kanan didn’t answer Ezra’s question directly. He simply approached the Loth-wolf with his hand extended out before him and said, “It has a deep connection to the Force, to the energy of this planet.”
But in the storyboard, Kanan starts to answer Ezra’s question. He says, “Because...” and the next line is blurred out. After squinting and trying to make the words out, I believe Kanan says in the lower left-hand corner, “I was born on Lothal.” Ezra looks shocked and starts to say, “What?”
My mind could be playing tricks on me and making me see what I want to see, but I still firmly believe there was more to Kanan’s story than what we got in the final episodes. Even if that’s not the correct dialogue, the emotions playing out on the page are completely different from the final version. Both Kanan and Ezra look genuinely shocked and it’s not just because they were transported to the other side of the world via a portal summoned by the wolves.
Speaking of which, after taking a closer look at the hieroglyphs in the cave, I couldn’t help but focus on the different portals and bridges above Lothal’s Jedi Temple. Then, a crazy thought came to my mind (and it turns out, the mind of a close friend last year). What if Kanan is from a different timeline? It’s a far-fetched theory, but the idea of sending an individual from a different time to stop something from happening at another point in time isn’t all that bizarre.
All that said, whatever else they had planned for Kanan, I hope we see it resurface in the near future. It would be fascinating to learn more about him and fill in some of the gaps of his past.
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Just watched the new helluva episode and..ugh okay opinions under the cut.
Some people are saying this episode is better than the others of season 2. And while visually it’s stunning and not as directly insulting as some of the others, I think this episode is one of the best examples of how these writers don’t understand pacing, comedic timing, or creating a coherent plot. The cuts between locations happen way too fast, some scenes feel like they were written under a minute just to add fluff (like the Moxxie hat fight, Blitz talking with the woman in the waiting room and the entire joke once again just being a character saying curse words or insults multiple times in a sentence, camera crews conveniently being at the hospital to see Stolas hurt for some reason.) Also god Stella. At least when they made her a one-dimensional boring villain she was competent at being one. Now she just looks like a whiny idiot so they could have her brother be there for no reason.
Speaking of which, that was a damn terrible introduction to Andrealphus. Unless your following updates about the show on Twitter, you don’t know who the fuck that is, why he’s here or what his connection to either Stella or Stolas is until now, there’s only been one passing mention she even had a brother before this. He’s just suddenly there with no proper introduction, and then Striker just appears now to kidnap Stolas in front of tons of other people (I guess him trying to kill Stolas with the angelic weapon hidden in the shadows didn’t matter that much after all) and take him back to an underground lair he has for some reason. He also brings up the classist system and Stolas’s bigotry but it doesn’t matter because he hurt the poor uwu prince baby 🙄 I swear it feels like this show is AI generated at this point, or at the very least the writers know that the pretty animation and shipping fuel will keep diehard fans around so they don’t actually have to make anything tightly written and can just do whatever random hodgepodge of scenes and dialogue they like. Which whatever its clear this show is just “the sex joke” show most of the time, but don’t then try to tell me this is some masterclass of writing and character development when the entire climax of Stolas and Blitz’s relationship problems at Ozzie’s was addresses ENTIRELY OFFSCREEN THROUGH TEXT MESSAGES. Even if you ship Stolas and Blitz, how the hell can you accept that? That’s the sloppiest way they could have handled that, I don’t even like this show and I feel disrespected lmao.
And just the way they tried to make us “feel” for their relationship this episode. Why the hell would Blitz be so shocked Stolas could get hurt, you literally fought Striker before because he was two seconds away from killing Stolas instantly otherwise?? You were hired to be his bodyguard in one episode! Like yeah maybe actually seeing it happen is causing the reality of it to sink in for Blitz, but everything we’ve been shown so far INCLUDING IN THIS EPISODE shows how much he does not care that much about Stolas and at best has a mild acceptance of him (at least outside of seeing stars which everybody’s already talked about how weird that entire thing was). I literally have no idea why we are suppose to be rooting for these two to get together at this point. It’s just watching uwu Stolas get hurt over and over again so we can pity the guy and wonder why Blitz wont love him boohoo 🙄 it’s annoying and not fun to watch. Also this might be more of a nitpick, but did anyone else think characters looked weirdly off model a lot in this episode? Like yeah the animation was impressive at some points during the action scenes but during regular dialogue it looked like it was done by a completely different studio than the other episodes, especially with Stella, Andrealphus, Millie, and Moxxie. Not sure what that’s about or if I’m just imagining it.
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss critique#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism
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Long day -Danny Wagner
A/n: FIRST FIC?!?! FIRST FIC. Please I hope you enjoy it there are probably a lot of grammar mistakes so sorry.
Genre: fluff
Pairing: Danny X reader
Warning: caring Danny, talk of being stressed, loving Danny, crying. I think that’s it ✨✨✨
Coming home from a long day was something you weren’t a stranger too, you often worked 10-18 hour days. School for 5 hours, tutoring some kids a few days a week for about 2 hours, then going to help out at your school theater department.
It was the end of November and The Madrigals, had decided (very last minute) that they needed a crew, specifically, a stage manager and about 5 or 6 people to open and close doors for entrance and exits. Today that had decided to promote you from lead student sound and visual to stage manager, and head reset.
“Can I get a crew check please” you said into the headset, you have never been this stressed out in your life. You were never a stage manager that’s always Maddies job but she couldn’t work the show and since you had years of experience you were next in line.
“Door 3 lily is ready”
“Door 2 Lexi is good”
“Light has the green light”
“This is crews places call. Places Crew.”
Until that point you were angry. Audrey who was on lights and Alex who was SUPPOSED to be at door 3 with Lilly, had been together all day. Doing a simple 1 person task that should take 5 minutes, into a 2 person task that takes them 15 minutes. 10 extra minutes that can’t be spared when we start the show in 20 minutes. They both liked eachother and while you supported them, you didn’t support the idea that they should be together 24/7 ignoring their responsibilities to talk. You had Alex to go to door 3 because the show was going to start.
“Alex I’m not asking I’m telling you to get out and get to you place. Like I told everyone else 5 minutes ago.” You said directly into the headset mic, staring daggers into Alex from across the room. Alex quickly got out and didn’t come back up till the end of the show.
But that was only todays problem, yesterdays problem consisted of you kicking someone out.
“You don’t know what your doing he-“
“Sage let Lexi do it she was here for rehearsal.”
Sage had decided to do crew, you had no fucking idea who they were. But they decided to NOT come to rehearsal, and only show up to the first real show.
“Lexi is to slow.” Sage had crossed the line, Lexi had been slow because they had limited body movement, that didn’t stop her from working hard and often didn’t need for their cues to be called but because they had them memorized.
“Sage get out, you don’t get to talk about my crew like that.” Sage looked shocked that you had said that and left.
You had finally made it home, unlocking the door, then walking in, before you could shut the door behind you, Danny had come up and engulfed you into a bear hug.
“I missed you, y/n so much.” He sat you down on the little bench that you guys had put there when you first moved in. Danny had taken off your shoes and taken your coat putting them away.
“Thank you” your voice came out broken, you hadn’t realized how physical exhausted you were from this week.
“Honey what’s wrong?” Danny had crouched in between your legs putting his hands on each side of your hip. The look he gave you was one full of concern and love. You had broken down a lot in the 2 years you were together but this one seemed different to Danny.
“I don’t wanna do this Danny.” It all came out of you, the tears streaming down your face. Danny quickly embraced you in a tight hug rubbing your back and shushing you. You’ve had trouble with expressing your emotions a lot, often times just not speaking and just wanting to be held and cuddled.
Danny had picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the bedroom. He got on the bed resting his back against the headboard and you on his lap with your head nuzzled in his neck.
“It’s okay love I’m here, ‘m not leaving” Danny hadn’t realized how tightly your hand was on his shirt until he looked down to see your knuckles had turned white. He gently lifted your chin up to see your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. He light kissed your forehead, melting into his touch
“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but if you want and when or if you’re ready I will listen.” You let out another sob, Danny had always been the nicest human being ever, going out of his way to make others feel better. Much like when he remembered that you get overwhelmed in really loud and crowded areas, and when you had told him that you wanted to see him perform he made sure that you had headphones to reduce the sound, a private area in front of barricade, or on the side of the stage, had told Richard that if you wanted to leave that he would take you to his dressing room, where there was food and drinks. Danny was whole heartedly the person that you pictured yourself with till the day you die. Sometimes you cry just thinking about how beautiful, perfect, and talented he is, and that you get to call him you Boyfriend.
You had stopped crying and rested your head on Danny’s chest, still having a death grip on his shirt.
“I love you Danny.”
“I love you Y/n.”
Danny had put on a movie, neither one paying much attention. Falling asleep after only a few minutes.
Nothing will ever beat the feeling of falling asleep in Danny’s arms. Nothing.
#danny wagner#danny gvf#Danny Wagner fluff#greta van fleet#gvf#greta van fic#jake kiszka#sam kiszka#josh kiszka#danny x reader#starcatcher
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Godzilla Minus One [ゴジラ-1.0（マイナスワン）] (2023)
If this is a Spielbergian heart-on-its-sleeve blockbuster, it bears no closer resemblance to any other than Jaws. The opening hews closer to Jurassic, the first appearance of Godzilla visceral and frightening. This is a remorseless creature that will crush and bite, depicted unflinchingly. Godzilla Minus One communicates the mythos of the kaiju in cogent, simple fashion: initially a large dinosaur-like creature, the nuclear test detonations at Bikini Atoll cause it to grow and mutate, becoming a force to be reckoned with. Through these changes, Godzilla itself becomes a symbol of the external forces which continue to weigh on Japan. The United States caused this problem, but remains strictly non-interventionist due to concerns over provoking the USSR, and instead allow Japan to suffer the brunt of the onslaught alone. In the film’s most shocking scene, after carving a swath of destruction through Ginza in Tokyo, Godzilla essentially nukes the district, his atomic breath unleashing a mushroom cloud of a fireball and a devastating shockwave. Black rain falls from the sky. It’s a jarring moment, indicating the very real and dire stakes. When Godzilla is out and stomping around, that impact can be seen and felt. But it causes unseen pressure as well. As with Jaws, the kaiju is largely hidden from view in action sequences at sea, or appears merely as dorsal scales protruding from the waterline. Lobbing mines at Godzilla in an early encounter and later seeing a ring of flotation devices surface feel like a nod to the Spielberg film, but also show how potent it can be to watch characters observing more so than direct action itself. Leave that to the imagination.
But also helping this impact is its effect on the characters we’ve come to love over the early stretch of the film: disgraced kamikaze pilot Shikishima is finally able to start to try and forgive himself as he starts to carve out a new life with another survivor Noriko and the baby she found. But all of this is gone in an instant. We are joined by a motley crew of characters who all have simple drives but feel whole nonetheless. This is a fight for life over death after a long and destructive campaign during the war treated bodies like nothing more than fodder.
THE RULES
SIP
Someone says 'Shikishima'.
Godzilla roars.
Shirō wishes he had served in the war.
BIG DRINK
The classic '54 Godzilla theme kicks in.
Newsreel footage begins.
Direct visual homage to the Honda original film.
#drinking games#godzilla minus one#godzilla#japanese cinema#takashi yamazaki#horror#action#action & adventure#drama
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How F-14 and F-15 pilots trained to take down the legendary Blackbird
Image created by Alex Hollings using U.S. Air Force and Lockheed Martin graphics.
Despite flying into the sunset nearly a quarter-century ago, Lockheed’s legendary SR-71 Blackbird reconnaissance plane was so far ahead of its time that even today, some 59 years since its first flight, there has yet to be a single aircraft to challenge its position atop the podium of fastest crewed jets in history. Throughout its three decades of service, the Blackbird famously had over 4,000 missiles of all sorts fired at it, and managed to outrun every single one.
But no aircraft is invincible and the Blackbird was no exception. With looming concerns about high-speed Soviet fighters closing the capability gap that insulated the SR-71 from intercept, the Air Force decided to pit its Mach 3+ Blackbird against America’s own best fighters, both of which have also become legends in their own right: the U.S. Navy’s Grumman F-14 Tomcat and the U.S. Air Force’s McDonnell Douglas F-15 Eagle.
And while no Soviet fighter or missile ever managed to catch up to the sky-storming Habu (a name pilots gave the Blackbird due to its aesthetic similarities to the pit viper of the same name), the same can’t be said for the simulated AIM-54 Phoenix and AIM-7 Sparrow missiles notionally lobbed its way by America’s top fighter pilots. Like any prizefighter with an undefeated record, the SR-71’s official tally may show only victories, but its unofficial training record is actually littered with defeats at the hands of its slower-moving (but highly capable) American fighter siblings.
But don’t let those simulated defeats fool you… because taking on the Blackbird and winning required a fair bit of meddling that stacked the deck in the fighter’s favor.
Related: How hypersonic drones could defeat missiles the same way the SR-71 did
The truth about air combat exercises (and what we can learn from their outcomes)
As Sandboxx News has covered at great length in the past, training exercises are rarely organized in a way that allows the superior platform to flex its distinct advantages to their fullest extent. Those sorts of exercises do occur in the form of platform and system testing, but the rules of engagement in complex combat training operations usually aim to level the playing field to some extent in order to give all pilots and crews involved some experience working from a tactical deficit.
In other words, commanders intentionally set the rules to give pilots experience fighting or surviving in uncomfortable circumstances, even if their aircraft are so capable that uncomfortable situations are unlikely. F-22 Raptor pilots, for instance, are regularly disallowed from beyond-visual-range engagements during training exercises against other fighters and are sometimes even required to keep their heavy drop tanks underwing when scrapping in close quarters – both conditions set by operational planners in order to nerf (or diminish) the Raptor’s greatest combat advantages.
(FLIR image from an F-16 of an SR-71 flying alongside an F/A-18)
But if you think the F-22 is often forced to fight with one wing tied behind its back, you’ll be downright shocked at the lengths SR-71 pilots would go to just to make themselves a viable target for America’s premier fighters. And when the fastest pilots in the sky got tired of losing and started breaking those training rules, not even the F-15 Eagle – the fastest fighter in American history with an unmatched modern air combat record of 104 wins and zero losses – could touch the legendary Blackbird.
Related: The King is dead: Why would America want to retire the F-22
Pitting the SR-71 against the Air Force’s F-15 Eagle
An F-15 Eagle from the 142nd Fighter Wing takes off from Portland Air National Guard Base in Oregon. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman John Hughel)
The McDonnell Douglas F-15 Eagle program might be described as an American overreaction to alarming assumptions made by the Defense and Intelligence communities about the Soviet MiG-25. When the first images of this high-speed new fighter reached the Pentagon in 1967, its massive turbojet nozzles, vast wing area, and broad, gulping intakes led many to believe it was the most capable fighter ever seen to that point. In response, the U.S. redoubled its development efforts for a new air superiority fighter that might be capable of standing toe-to-toe with what certainly seemed to be a new Soviet juggernaut.
Of course, the MiG-25 was nothing close to the high-performer the United States feared it to be, but by the time American officials found that out in 1976 (when Soviet pilot Victor Belenko defected with one), the monster they built to take it on – by then known officially as the F-15 Eagle – had already entered service eight months prior.
Victor Belenko’s MiG-25 (DoD Image)
However, as dominant as the F-15 would prove to be in air-to-air combat, even it struggled against the Habu’s elusive combination of speed, stealth, and electronic countermeasures.
In the books, The Complete Book of the SR-71 Blackbird: The Illustrated Profile of Every Aircraft, Crew, and Breakthrough of the World’s Fastest Stealth Jet, and, SR-71 Revealed: The Inside Story, former Blackbird driver and retired U.S. Air Force Colonel Richard H. Graham discussed his time flying high-speed sorties against the legendary F-15 over the Nellis Air Force Base training range, not far from the clandestine installation many of us know today as Area 51.
The intent of these exercises, which the pilots took to calling Eagle Bait sorties, was to give F-15 pilots valuable practice intercepting high-altitude and fast-moving targets that only the Blackbird could simulate.
“To maximize scare, high-altitude/high-speed intercept practice for the fighters against the SR-71,” Graham wrote. “We stacked the deck in their favor to avoid a multitude of missed intercepts, and consequently, wasted time.”
But as powerful as the F-15 was, it faced all the same challenges as the Soviet MiGs. In fact, in order to give the Eagle a shot at scoring a kill against the Habu using the longest-range air-to-air missile available to it at the time, the AIM-7 Sparrow, the Eagle drivers had to be given special permission to exceed the jet’s safety envelope.
“In order to get high enough to take a reasonable shot at us, F-15 crews were given special permission to do a zoom-climb to 50,000 to 55,000 feet before a simulated AIM-7 launch against the SR-71,” Graham recalled. Flying to these altitudes in an F-15 wasn’t just a question of power, however. It also raised concerns about pilot safety inside the cockpit. “They had permission to be above 50,000 feet for a maximum time of 90 seconds without wearing a pressure suit.”
As they’d soon learn, the Eagle also struggled with approaching the Habu from head-on because its targeting systems weren’t designed to be able to see something closing with them so quickly. As former SR-71 pilot Dave Peters would later recall, the speed gate (a filter set to narrow down radar returns to only legitimate threats) had been set to 1,500 miles per hour.
“We were casually warping along from 1,850 to 2,000. So, for them, we didn’t exist,” Peters said. Yet, even once that issue was sorted out, the F-15s still had a steep hill to climb.
As part of “stacking the deck” in the Eagle’s favor, the SR-71 crews were instructed to fly along a specific flight path at altitudes no higher than 70,000 feet and speeds no greater than Mach 2.8. They even began executing fuel dumps, leaving a massive streak of jet fuel in the sky to help the F-15s find them overhead.
Similar to the F-22’s dogfighting conundrum, these rules rounded off the sharper edges of the Habu’s capability set, giving the Eagle a fighting chance.
When that proved not to be enough, Blackbirds were instructed to fly over a designated point in space (called the intercept point) and even call out their approach to it over open radio frequencies at one-minute intervals starting five minutes out. This approach, however unrealistic, gave the Eagle drivers the window of opportunity they needed, rapidly scoring simulated kill after kill against the SR-71 as it zoomed by.
“After each mission, we would debrief by phone, and the F-15 drivers would report ‘four AIM-7s launched, four kills on the HABU,'” Former SR-71 pilot, Capt. Steve “Griz” Grzebiniak later recalled.
Related: Project Oxcart: Why you had to be married to fly the CIA’s fastest jet
Teaching the air-to-air champ a lesson
(Lockheed Martin)
Even with all of the allowances the Blackbird drivers made for their competition, just shaking one of the notional AIM-7 Sparrows launched by the F-15s was simple. The now-dated AIM-7 carried only a semi-active radar guidance system onboard, meaning it needed target information to be relayed from the launching aircraft all the way until impact.
The SR-71 carried an advanced electronic countermeasures system onboard that, among other things, has been said to be able to discern between radar transmission and even broadcast phantom returns that would force the engaging fighter to re-acquire the real target. Because of the Sparrow’s semi-active homing guidance system, the Blackbird could dismiss an inbound Sparrow with the flip of a switch.
F-15A “Eagle” of the 110th Fighter Squadron, 131st Fighter Wing, Air National Guard, Lambert-St. Louis IAP, Mo., launches an AIM-7 “Sparrow” missile, during a Weapons System Evaluation Program. (U.S. Air Force photo)
But as the F-15s racked up victories, the competitive spirit of the Habu drivers began to take hold… and finally, they decided to break a few rules to inject a bit of humility back into the fighter pilots below.
This time, they didn’t execute a fuel dump at five minutes out like usual… mostly because they were flying 16,000 feet higher (now at 86,000 feet) and much faster than before… now cruising at Mach 3.2. The F-15s never had a chance.
“In the phone debrief after the mission, the F-15 flight lead reported ‘four shots and four kills’ on the first pass and mumbled something about radar problems and no kills on the second pass,” Grzebiniak said. “Even with the world’s best planes, pilots, and missiles, it would take a golden BB [a lucky blind shot by the enemy] to bring down a Habu.”
Related: Sea Eagle: America’s plan to put the F-15 on aircraft carriers
The F-14’s AIM-54 Phoenix Missile may have been the real Top Gun
F-14 flying alongside SR-71 during refueling (Image via Haburats SR-71 on X/Twitter)
The F-15 wasn’t the only top-tier fighter in the U.S. arsenal at the time, and the truth is, the Navy’s famed F-14 Tomcat of Top Gun fame was actually better equipped for these sorts of high-speed intercepts.
While the Eagle’s AN/APG-63 was a highly capable radar, it fell well short of the massive power output and multi-targeting capability of the Tomcat’s AN/AWG-9 radar and fire control system. With around double the detection range of the Eagle’s radar and the ability to track 24 targets simultaneously, the F-14 could guide six separate missiles into six separate targets at the same time. Despite being based on a fairly dated design, there wouldn’t be a more powerful radar installed in a fighter until the F-22 Raptor entered service.
But perhaps even more important was the Tomcat’s armament, because the F-14 came equipped with the now-legendary AIM-54 Phoenix missile – the longest-ranged air-to-air missile on the planet at the time that flew with a combination of a semi-active seeker to take cues from the F-14’s radar and an active radar-homing seeker for terminal guidance. In other words, once the Phoenix was close enough to a target, it could rely on its own onboard radar to close in, rather than needing the launching pilot to maintain a lock until impact.
AIM-54 hits a QF-4 target drone during testing. (U.S. Navy photos)
Training intercepts that pitted the F-14 against the SR-71 were known by insiders as Tomcat Chase sorties, and were usually carried out over the Pacific, rather than the Nevada desert, thanks to the presence of F-14-hauling aircraft carriers at sea. As with the F-15, Habu drivers did their best to give the F-14 a fighting chance, flying along straight, predetermined flight paths at lower altitudes and speeds than they would normally do. They also maintained open radio communications, allowing the SR-71 pilots to guide the F-14s into their relative positions so they’d have a chance to fire their notional AIM-54s.
The Blackbird flew with its transponder on, and again, without its defensive electronic countermeasures engaged. But, again, even in these very favorable conditions, Tomcats struggled to find their mark.
“The 14s could find us but they couldn’t do anything until we modified and gave them times, route of flight, speed, and altitude beforehand so they could have a pre-planned setup,” Pilot Dave Peters recalled. “The 15s didn’t do that well for quite some time.”
A Fighter Squadron 211 (VF-211) F-14A Tomcat aircraft banks into a turn during a flight out of Naval Air Station, Miramar while carrying six AIM-54 Phoenix missiles. (U.S. Navy photo)
Tough as it was to spot the Blackbird zooming past, once the Tomcats did, the Phoenix missile was capable enough to pose some real problems for the Blackbird. With a top speed in excess of Mach 4 (except when put into a ballistic flight path into the ground, where it could exceed Mach 5), the AIM-54 had the speed and the range required to close with an airborne Habu, and thanks to its onboard radar seeker, it would be tougher to shake than the Eagle’s Sparrows.
However, there remains some debate about whether or not even the Phoenix could have found its mark in the Blackbird’s high-altitude domain.
“Another factor in our favor was the small guidance fins on their missiles,” Graham wrote. “They are optimized in size for guiding a missile to its target in the thicker air from the ground up and around forty thousand feet. At eighty thousand feet the air is so thin that full deflection of the missile’s guidance fins can barely turn it.”
Related: The best fighters America *almost* put on aircraft carriers
Tomcats, Eagles, and Habus… Oh my!
This picture of an SR-71 flying alongside F-4s and F-14s was too cool not to include, so just pretend those F-4s are F-15s! (DoD image)
At the end of the day, the Tomcat Chase and Eagle Bait sorties flown throughout the late 1970s and into the 1980s were about far more than the pilots’ pride. These exercises were about identifying technical limits (like the Eagle’s speed gate), assessing aircraft capabilities in circumstances outside the norm, and helping pilots gain the experience they need to exercise complex problem-solving in the heat of a high-stakes situation.
These exercises, like a great deal of military training, weren’t about finding winners and losers, they were about making everyone involved, from the ground crews, to command and control, to the pilots better at some of the most difficult, arduous, and complex jobs in warfare.
But that doesn’t mean fighter pilots didn’t take their chance to down a Habu seriously… and as you might expect, they took losing just as seriously.
“There was some animosity at first with both the Eagles and the Tomcats because they kept accusing us of not showing up,” Peters recalled about the times the fighters couldn’t find his fast-moving Blackbird. Listening in on the open radio lines, Peters couldn’t help but enjoy their frustration a bit. “They got a little huffy because nobody told them we weren’t coming.”
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Incorrect Quotes (ssenmodnaR Edition)
Now that it's been a while since "It's Gotta Be Perfect," SMG4's once again feeling comfortable with the idea of being more ambitious with his videos. Thankfully he has learned his lesson and won't be striving for perfection, and he also won't be trying to go it alone. Instead, he's taking inspiration from the man he was designed as a self-insert of and putting together a production crew (of actual employees, not enslaved Toads. That's another low point he doesn't want to go back to.
Next up on the applicant list is Baljeet, for some reason, who's been asked to put together a meme compilation as a test of his editing skills.
"Alright kid, show me what you got."
"Of course," he moves to hit the play button, but pauses to add, "I should warn you, however, that it is a bit... strange, at certain points." He hits the button before 4 can ask what he means.
ssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnar
FM: *gestures incredulously at a car* Who parked their car...
*the view shifts slightly to reveal a jpeg of a BLT under one of the tires*
FM: On my sandwich!?
Steve: I did!
FM: *gets so angry he explodes into a coin*
ssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnar
*MarioMario54321 and Tari face each other on a version of final destination, with MM wearing a Duel Disk and Clench transformed to fulfil the functions of one*
MM: You ready?
Tari: *grins* Born ready.
MM: Well then... *starts using the Yu-Gi-Oh! intro Yami voiceclip* It's Time to D-D, DD-D-DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *D-ing continues as he starts spazzing out*
Tari:
Clench: 'da fuk?
ssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnarssenmodnar
Elanore: *runs around in an office building, throwing raisins around like confetti* RAISINS! RAISINS! THEY USED TO BE GRAPES!
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Meggy: *wandering through what's clearly a Zelda dungeon for some reason*
Random Evil Wizard Dude: *appears from the shadows, pointing menacingly with a staff* Stop right where you are, Maddy.
Meggy: *gasps* How did you almost know my name?
Wizard Dude: I have approximate knowledge of many things.
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Desmond: *sitting on a bench, minding his own business*
Franky: *rises up behind him* I can smell you.
Desmond: *jumps up in shock while yelling in Homer Simpson's voice*
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MM: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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Perry: *assumes a fighting stance in the middle of a warehouse while Doof does an evil laugh off-screen*
Doof: You are too late, Perry the Platypus! I am now... *drives on-screen in a forklift* FORKLIFT CERTIFIED!
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*this would work better in a visual format, just picture Paige doing the same actions as the music video while Crabcake keeps showing up in the areas they point out in funny poses*
Paige: Now everything smells like salmon!
My shirts!
My couch!
My sheets!
If I had a couple more square feet,
I imagine this would not happen!
Everything smells like salmon!
Straight-up salmon.
Smell it from the bed to the door,
when you're living in a space that's not much more than a cabin,
well sometimes this happens
Everything smells like salmon.
FUCK IT UP ANDI!
Andi: *epic keyboard solo*
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Avatar Kirby: *reenacting Speed of Kirb...through the Showgrounds, while the SMGs watch him through the coffee shop's window with resigned annoyance*
SMG3: I'm not helping him if he pisses off Marty.
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*back at the Yu-Gi-Oh! duel, Tari and Clench have resorted to playing against each-other while they wait for MM to hopefully pull himself together*
Clench: ...Well this sucks.
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*The Abyss and Juliano are in the middle of a fancy restaurant...for some reason*
The Abyss: I poisoned one of our glasses, but I can't remember which.
Juliano: The way this dinner is going I hope it's mine.
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Mario: Fuck you, Baltimore!
Bob: If you're dumb enough to buy a new car this weekend,
Mario: You're a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill Hells Cars!
Bob: Bad deals!
Mario: Cars that break down!
Bob: Thieves!
Mario: If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Big Bill's,
Bob: You can kiss my ass!
Mario: It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker-
Bob: You'll fall for this bullshit!
Mario: Guaranteed!
Bob: If you find a better deal,
Mario: Shove it up your ugly ass!
Bob: You heard us right!
Mario: Shove it up your ugly ass.
Bob: Bring your trade!
Mario: Bring your title!
Bob: Bring your wife!
Mario: We'll fuck her!
Bob: That's right! We'll fuck your wife!
Mario: Because at Big Bill Hells,
Bob: You're fucked six ways from Sunday!
Mario: Take a hike!
Bob: To Big Bill Hells!
Mario: Home of Challenge Pissing!
Bob: That's right!
Mario: CHALLENGE PISSING!
Bob: How does it work?
Mario: If you can piss six feet in the air straight up-
Bob: -and not get wet-
Mario: You get no down payment!
Bob: Don't wait! Don't delay,
Mario: Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!
Bob: Only at Big Bill Hells!
Mario: The only dealer that tells you to FUCK OFF!
Bob: Hurry up, asshole!
Mario: This event ends the minute after you write us a check!
Bob: And it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!
Mario: Go to hell!
Bob: Big Bill Hells Cars!
Mario: Baltimore's filthiest,
Bob: And exclusive home to the meanest sons of bitches in the state of Maryland!
Mario: Guaranteed!
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*several robed figures stand in a circle around a chained up Teletubby*
Robed figures: Chanting in unison, chanting in unison, chanting in unison... (yes, they are actually chanting the words "chanting in unison" in unison. it's even an actual voice clip from the Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.)
Luigi: *opens a door to whatever room these guys are in, sees what's happening, and swiftly backs out the way he came*
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Hex: *dancing to Buck Bumble's theme music*
fucking Jerry the Goomba kid: Buck Bumble sucks, ya dumbass!
Hex: *the music stops with a record scratch and she slowly turns her head to look at him with a vacant expression*
A Few Seconds Later
Hex: *back to dancing, now with Jerry's burning corpse off to the side*
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MM: DDDDDD-DUEL! *finally done, he looks up to see that Tari got tired of waiting and left* Ah, crap.
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"...The hell was that?"
"That is what I said! Oh sure, give all the weird stuff to Baljeet! It definitely will not make no sense without context! I do not think some of them are even from our universe, and I am not sure how that is even possible!"
"Well...it's at least well-edited? Might work as part of a "Ssenmodnar" video or something, we haven't had one of those in a while. I'll, uh, I'll get back to you later, alright?"
After he leaves, Baljeet sighs and looks back at the monitor, "I need better clips."
#smg4 ocs#incorrect quotes#episode idea#i wish squid memes were real au#smg4#baljeet tjinder#smg4 fm#minecraft steve#mariomario54321#smg4 tari#smg4 clench#elanore haltmann#meggy spletzer#paige spletzer#crabcake the salmonid#andi finn#desmond the basketball#smg4 franky#perry the platypus#heinz doofenshmirtz#kirby#smg3#mario#bob bobowski#luigi#hex haltmann#jerry the goomba#the abyss#juliano
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