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layce2015 · 1 month

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The Boys (Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader)

(A/n: I wanted to say that writing this fic, I believe is gonna be the most mature, violent and sexual I’m gonna get in this story. If you have not watched this show, go to Amazon Prime and watch the show. If you are under the age of 18, probably do not read this.)

Next Chapter / Masterlist

1944

I was sitting in the waiting room with my husband, waiting for the nurse to call me. Few days ago, I had received a phone call from the doctor's saying that I needed to come in for a visit and it made me nervous as I am usually good on keeping up with my health.

I sighed as my husband, Adam, looks over at me. "You okay, honey?" He asked me in a concerned voice. "Just wondering why I am here." I said. "Did you miss an appointment? Or a shot?" Adam asked me and I shake my head. "No...at least...I don't think so." I said, thinking, then the door to the back of the office opens.

The nurse walks out of the door and looks at her clipboard. "Ms. (L/n)?" She said and I raise my head. "The doctor will see you now." She said and both Adam and I stand up.

We follow her to one of the back rooms until she stops in front of a room and opens the door. "The doctor will be with you soon." She tells us and Adam and I walk into the room and I sit in one of the chairs, Adam takes the chair next to me. He pats me on the back, soothingly, as I sit there and try to figure out what the hell this could be for.

Eventually, the doctor came I but the thing was, he didn't look like my normal doctor. My normal doctor was an older, balding man, this doctor was young and with a head full of dark black hair. "Hello, Ms (l/n)." The doctor said and I give him a confused look.

"Um, are you new? I've never seen you before. Where's Doctor Jefferson?" I asked him and I could've sworn I saw Cole give a nervous look at this new doctor. "Doctor Jefferson is on vacation. I'm Doctor Miller. I'll be taking over while he is on vacation." The young man said and I eyed him a bit but gave a reluctant nod.

"Anyway, it seems you are needing a shot for this new disease that's been going around, thanks to this horrible war we got." Doctor Miller said as he goes to the table near him and picks up a syringe with some blue liquid in it.

"New disease? I've never heard of a new disease." I said and Doctor Miller comes up to me, needle in hand. "Trust me, you need this, ma'am." Doctor Miller said but I felt like something was off. "No, I, uh..." I stammered, nervously, as I stand up but then Adam stands up next to me and places his hands on my shoulder.

"Adam?" I said, confused, as he starts to hold me in place as Miller comes at me with a needle. "Sorry, honey, but you need this." He said. "What are you talking about?!" I asked when Miller inserted the needle in my arm and I let out a yelp.

He pulls the needle out of my arm and I look at him. "What the hell did you just put in me?" I asked him just as I started to feel pain all over my body. I yelled then screamed as I doubled over and fall to the ground. I look up at Adam, and through my tears, I asked. "What did you do?" I asked then I screamed again.

"Honey, this will be a great opportunity for us. For you. And this is was the only way." Adam replied. "Why? Why me?" I asked as I felt another wave of pain. "Because Ms (y/n) we need someone like you." Miller replied and the pain subsides but I start to feel light headed then I pass out.

I groan as I slowly open my eyes, my vision was blurry but it seemed all I could see was white. I blink several times before my vision becomes clearer and I could see a figure standing before me.

I gasp and sit up to see Doctor Miller, if that was even his real name, in a white coat with a clipboard in hand, staring at me. "Where am I? Where's Adam? Who are you, really?" I asked, in a quick panicked voice.

"As I told you, I am Doctor Miller. You, Ms (y/n), are in the secret lab of Vought Tower. As for your husband, he is having a talk with my boss." Miller informed me. "Vought Tower? Why am I here?" I asked. "Because we have developed a serum, called Compound V. It gives the subject powers beyond our wildest dreams. And you, are among the first people to be injected with this wonderful serum." Miller explained and I raised an eyebrow at this.

”But why me?” I asked and Miller smirks. “Because you are the perfect woman for our idea of a female hero.” Miller said.

Present Day

I gasp, sit up and look at my surroundings, realizing that I was in my living room on my couch. I sighed as I try to shake off the terrible memory I just relived in my dream and looked over at my TV, seeing news coverage about that stupid hero group, The Seven, promoting their new movie Dawn of The Seven.

One of the news reporter had that prick of a leader, Homelander, talking to him and asked him a question, I am sure this guy is tired of hearing. "How could you not know all along that Stormfront was a Nazi?" the reporter asked and I could just tell by the look in his eyes that Homelander was exhausted and annoyed at the question.

But I can't say I blame the reporters for asking this question. It was a huge scandal last year that the newly added female hero, Stormfront, was a Nazi. And, to my surprise, she use to be Liberty who was someone I met years ago and use to work with. "Well, I am just a man who fell for the wrong woman. Uh, but, uh...out of crisis comes change. So I spent the last year really slowing down and reconnecting with myself. And I am very excited for everyone to meet the real me." Homelander replied and something about the look in his eyes made me feel a bit unsettled.

It could be just the pressure this man's under or he is really crazy, what the fuck do I know?

I rub the sleep out of my eyes then get up and head into the kitchen to grab something to drink. After grabbing a can of soda, my cellphone rings and I pull it out to see that my old friend, Bethany, was calling. “Hello.” I said. “Hey, (y/n). Was just checking if we were still up for lunch tomorrow?” Bethany asked me. “Yeah, yeah, I am.” I said, tiredly.

”Oh, did I wake you?” She asked me. “No, I just woke up from a nap…” I said. “Nightmares again?” She asked. “More like revisiting my past.” I said. “Is there a difference?” She asked me and I chuckled. “Well, there was some good.” I said. “I hope meeting me is one of them.” She said. “Hmmm, I don’t know…” I said, thinking. “Bitch, I better be.” Bethany said, in a fake offended tone, and I laugh again.

”Still as spunky as ever at your age.” I remarked as Bethany is in her sixties. “You’re only as old as you feel.” She said. “You got that right.” I said. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” She asked. “Yeah, I’ll see ya.” I said. “Alright have a good night.” Bethany said. “You too.” I said and I hang up then sighed again.

After turning the TV and lights off, I got a shower and started to get ready for bed. I sit on the side of my bed then look over at the bedside table to see a picture of me and Ben, AKA Soldier Boy. It was of me and him at some sort’ve movie premiere, I think it was one of his movies I really can’t remember which one as he did a fair amount of movies. He had his arm around my waist and I was hugged up to his side, both of us smiling for the camera.

You would’ve thought we were the perfect couple, the one people would aspire to be.

But we were far from perfect.

Ben and I always had our ups and downs over the decades. We always seemed to break up constantly, so much so that I’ve honestly lost count. But we always seem to go back to each other. It’s probably fucked up for me to say, knowing how he was, but he was the best man I’ve ever been with.

Sure, he could be rude and crude, full of himself, a flirt with any woman that had caught his eye, and was violent to people, including to some of our teammates, at times but…I couldn’t help but love him. He had his moments with me where he was honest, caring, and sweet in his own way.

I stared at the photo then set it on the table then looked up at the wall where I have his shield mounted. “Goodnight, Ben.” I muttered to the shield, as if he can hear me, then I start to get into bed and start to fall asleep.

Flashback

Miller left me in this godforsaken room after they had tested me on what abilities I can do. I was curled up in the fetal position on my bed when I hear the door to my room opening. I turn my head and see that it’s Adam that came in. I glared at him as my anger was growing.

”Hello, darling.” Adam said, cautiously. “Don’t call me that. Not after what you did to me.” I growled as I turn my head from him. “Oh, honey…” he said as he comes up to me but was pushed back by an invisible force. He looks surprised by this then looks at me. “Oh, I’m guessing this is one of your powers?” He asked me as I glare at him.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” I asked him, angrily. “Think of it this way, darling, we’ll live that lavish we’ve always hoped for.” He said to me. “I wanted that but do it the proper way!” I exclaimed. “But this way is so much better and you’ll be famous. Everyone will know your name.” Adam said, excitedly.

“You know I hate being in the spotlight. Why the hell would you think I’d want to be famous? Let alone superhero level of famous?!” I spat, angrily. “It won’t be that bad. You’ll see, once you get started, you’ll actually start to like it. You might even make some new friends.” He said, sounding like he was talking to a child, and I begin to shake at this. Then I go to slap him but he was shoved back by an invisible force and he falls back and hits the padded wall.

“What the hell?!” He exclaimed. “Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m a child!!!” I shout as he scrambles back to his feet. “I’m just trying to help you.” Adam said. “Help me?! You’ve completely ruined my life!” I shout, livid. “Don’t be so dramatic, darling.” He said, waving his hand vaguely.

I growled under my breath and bared my teeth. “Get the hell outta my sight. Right now!” I screamed at him. “Oh, come now, (y/n)! Don’t act like a child!” He said and I stare at him. “I want a divorce.” I whispered and he stares at me. “You don’t mean that.” He said and I felt a tear run down my face. “I mean it. I don’t want to see you anymore.” I said then his face turns from concern to determine.

”Well, it’s not gonna happen, my dearest. We made a vow. For better or worse, remember? And also, you being a divorced woman? Your career will be ruined before it even started. People will look down on you.” Adam said and I glare at him again as my eyes begin to fill with unshed tears.

”I hate you.” I growled at him and he gives a small smirk. “You don’t mean that. You’ll see in time, this was what’s best for you.” He said then he leaves the room. Once the door closes behind him, I crumbled to my knees and begin to scream and cry.

Present Day

The Next Day

*3rd Person POV*

“You must be having a fսcking laugh. That little cսոt crawled up a guy's cock and blew him to bits. He almost killed Frenchie, and you're just gonna let him go 'cause Stan Edgar asked nice?” Billy Butcher asked Hughie, angrily. The night before they had captured an out of control Supe that was causing problems and brought him in to this company by Neuman that deals with out of control Supes. “Supe collateral damage is down 60%.” Hughie tried to assure him as Frenchie and Kimiko were sitting off the side into their own desks. “Oh, come off it. That's that twɑt Neuman talking.” Butcher argued.

”She has locked up more Supes this year than every other year combined.” Hughie argued. “Then you're a fսcking twɑt. Hughie, you're working with Vought! I'm...” Butcher argued until Kimiko made a loud, discordant music with her keyboard. “Fuck me. I should've done Termite when I had the chance.” Butcher growls.

“Look, look, look, things are good. We're actually winning.” Hughie said. “Winning, are we? Locking up a couple of nobodies ain't winning. They got all the money and all the power, and they want us dead. We're outmanned and outgunned, and we got to put them cսոts in a box before they do it to us.” Butcher shouts. “If you would just compromise a little bit...” said Hughie and this angers Butcher.

"Compromise? Fսck you. Your whole life's a compromise.” Butcher shouts. “Hey, at least I have a fսcking life!” Hughie shouts but then stops when he realized what he said as Butcher glares at him. “I didn't mean that. Look. Look. Can we just stop dancing around this? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left.” Hughie said as Kimiko continues to play her keyboard.

”You think I give a shite?” Butcher asked him. “Yeah, I think you do. I think you're pissed that M.M. and I both left.” Hughie said. “M.M. was a bit of a loss. You not so much.” Butcher said then he chuckled a little. “Butcher...it's been a year. You can stop all this. It's okay to stop. To move on. She would've wanted you to.” Hughie tells him as the keyboard music continues until Butcher couldn’t take it anymore.

”Oi, Stevie fսcking Wonder! Will you knock it off? You're doing me fսcking head in! Jesus fսcking Christ. Everyone's losing their fսcking minds.” Butcher shouts and Kimiko recoils back as Frenchie turns to her. “Hey. Forget it.” He whispers to her. “Or maybe they're just trying to be happy.” Hughie argues and Butcher glares at him again before he walks off.

Then Hughie turns to Kimiko. “I thought it sounded great.” He tells her as the door to the office opens then closes and Kimiko smiles at Hughie before she continues to play on her keyboard.

*(y/n)’s POV*

I laughed at the story Bethany was telling me as we sat at a table in this diner, eating lunch. “I mean, it was terrible! Made a mess everywhere!” She tells me, recounting the chaos her two year old grandson did at her house. “Sounds like tyrant.” I joked. “Oh he is but…he does have his cute moments and then I love him all over again.” She said and she gives a smile at this and I smile back.

”Must be nice.” I muttered. “Well, you could have that! My granddaughter told me about these dating apps people use nowadays to met people.” Bethany said and I groan and roll my eyes. “Beth, no…” I groaned and Bethany gives me a frown. “Oh, c’mon, you should met someone!” She said and I shake my head. “No.” I said. “Why not?” She asked me.

”I said no, Beth. I just…I’m not interested.” I said and Bethany gives me a sympathetic look. “Ben really did steal your heart, didn’t he?” She asked me and I frown and set my cup of coffee down on the table. Then she reaches over and places a hand over my hand. “I’m sorry. I know that it’s coming up on the anniversary of his death and it’s always hard on you. But I just…I just want you to be happy. See you smile again.” She tells me as she pats my hand.

”It’s more than he stole my heart, he was my other half. And I just feel…empty…” I said then I sighed. “Maybe we could do something for him on the anniversary?” Bethany suggests and I look over at him and give a small smile to her. “That does sound nice. I might look into that and let you know.” I tell her and she smiles at this. “Okay….” She said and I feel this overwhelming sadness taking over me.

”Excuse me.” I said, doing everything in my power not to burst into tears, and then I head to the bathroom and walk over to the sink. I take a deep breath then let it out, slowly, and look at myself in the mirror. And the moment I look at myself in the mirror, I start to cry.

After I cried in the bathroom for a bit, I clean my face then head back out and finish with my lunch with Bethany. She leaves and I sighed and run my fingers over my eyes as I hear someone take Bethany’s seat. “You’re early.” I said, plainly. “Well, would’ve been here sooner but your friend kept sticking around.” A female voice said and I raise my head up to see Queen Maeve sitting across me, wearing civilian clothes instead of her hero gear.

"You okay?" Maeve asked me, her eyes narrowed with concern. I raise an eyebrow at this then nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...didn't have a good night sleep, is all." I said and I pull my bag towards me, dig into it and pull out the file. "Here is all the information I can give you." I said as I hand her the file.

"Whatever it was that killed Soldier Boy. I'm sure it will kill Homelander." I said as Maeve takes the file and opens it to read it. "I’m sure you know the crap Vought put out about his death is bullshit.” I said and Maeve nods. “I had a hunch. But to be sure, you didn’t see anything or how he died, right?” She asked me and I shake my head. “No, I didn’t. All I remember is that I was fighting alongside him then I was knocked out.” I said and Maeve nods as she closes the file and puts it in her own bag.

"Okay, well, I'll give this to Butcher and I'll see what I can do." Maeve said and I nod. "Just tell your friend that I don't want to be bothered by this. I want to be left alone." I said and she nods. "I understand." Maeve said then she stands up, walks up to me and pats my shoulder. "Thank you." She tells me and I smile at her. She smiles back at me then walks out of the diner while I sit there for a moment before I get up and walk out of the building.

Flashback

“Just follow the answers we gave you and everything will be alright.” Miller tells me as we stand in a back room area. We were in this grand ballroom and Vought wanted to introduce me as the new superhero, so they brought me and Adam into a back room to go over basically my script for questions that the press would ask me.

It had been a couple of months since I got powers and during that time they had to test me and see what kind of powers I would develop. It seems I have strength, the ability to move objects without touching them and some sort’ve shielding powers. They even came up with a name for me, Mystic Shade, and a backstory for me because if they told my real backstory that would make them look bad.

Now my story is I was born with these powers and ever since seeing this awful war that is going on with Germany, I wanted to help out anyway I could.

Vought came up with this to not only give the men someone to oggle at but someone the women could look up to and maybe have them want to help in the war as much as they could.

I stand there as I fidget with my fingers and looking down at my outfit, which was inspired by the nursing outfit the women wore and knee-high white boots. The little white tiara that adorn my head was slipping forward and I push it back in place.

”Darling?” Adam asked me and I look over at him as he holds my hand. I scoff and yank my hand out of his. I was still angry with him and we haven’t really talked much, only time we got together was when we went to bed but nothing would happen except just sleeping the night away.

I look over at Miller and nodded and he smiles then walks out of the room. “How long are you gonna keep acting like this?” Adam asked me. “Just because I can’t divorce you, doesn’t mean I’m gonna forgive you either.“ I replied. “You can’t stay mad at me forever.” He tells me and I turn to him, lean into him as I stare him into his eyes. “Watch me.” I challenged just as the door opens and a young woman comes in.

”Mystic Shade? You’re needed out there.” She said and I take a deep breath and follow her out of the room, leaving Adam alone in the room.

I walk up to the stage as Doctor Vought was at the microphone, talking. Then he turns to me and holds his arm out to me. “Now please welcome the new hero, Mystic Shade!” He said and I push back all of my negative emotions and smile and wave as I walk up to him while the crowd applauded.

I go to Dr. Vought and he shakes my hand then kisses both of my cheeks then leads me to the microphone. Once I get to the microphone, Dr Vought said. “Now, Mystic Shade, will be taking questions.”

And a flood of voices saying over here, over here chanted out and Vought points to a random person. “Yes, you there!” He calls out. “How does it feel to be selected to join by Dr. Vought?” A male voice called out. “Um, it is an incredible opportunity here. And I’m very excited to join.” I replied then more raised hands and voices. Dr Vought pointed out to a different man.

“When did you first discover your powers?” The second man asked me. “I was about fifteen or sixteen years old when I found out. I guess I was alway born with them it just didn’t develop until I became a teenager.” I replied. “And what are they? I mean, what can you do?” The man asked. “Well, I’m strong, I can move objects without touching them and I can make shields to protect myself and people around me.” I replied and there was a series of ooh’s and aah’s across the crowd.

Then another round of hands shooting up in the air and Dr Vought points at another hand. "So, are you gonna help out with the war? If so, how does it feel to be the first woman to be out in the field?" The third man asked. "It is something I never would've imagined but I want to help out not just the country but the people who are involved." I said then another man calls out.

"So what's it feel like to achieve everything you hoped for?" He asked and I paused at this. Truth is I didn't achieve anything, this is all a lie. I wanted to scream that out so badly but I couldn't as I stood there frozen. "I-I, uh..." I stammered then Vought comes up to me and places his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sure she feels fantastic. She's being very modest right now. Not being used to this kind of attention can make anyone freeze. So let's give a hand for our new hero!" Vought said and there was applause and I give a small, weak smile.

Minutes later, I walk out on the balcony and took in a deep breath then let it out. Being in that ballroom suffocated me. I lean against the stone railings of the balcony and took in some quick breathes until anger rose in my chest and I slam my fists down on it, making the stone crack. "Whoa-ho, remind me not to make you angry." A male voice said, a bit of a laugh in his tone.

I jumped at this, not expecting anyone out here, and look to my left to see a man, in a army uniform with a long coat, standing some feet away from me. "I'm not in the mood to talk." I grumbled and I look out on the balcony. "I figured. Saw you up on that stage....and well, here..." he said and I look over at him and see him holding a bottle out to me. "You need this more than me."

"Did you steal that from party?" I asked him. "More like borrowing." He said, shrugging, and I chuckled a bit then take the bottle from him. "Thank you." I said and I begin to drink from it. "I'm guessing rough day?" He asked me. “You could say that.” I muttered and I take another drink from the bottle.

“These Vought parties are never what the public thinks they are. The only good things here are the food, the booze…and the pretty women.” He said and he gives me a flirtatious smile. I giggled a little and smile, which I just realized is my first genuine smile I’ve made in months. “I’m flattered but…I’m married.” I tell him and he has a surprised look on his face.

”I don’t believe that.” He said and I raise an eyebrow at him. “Oh? And why is that?” I asked him. “No sane man, especially a husband, would leave you out here on your own.” He said and I laugh a little again. “Maybe, I wanted to be alone.” I said and he shrugs a little. “You may have a point. But, even so, shouldn’t be out here alone. Some stranger could try to chat you up.” He said. “Like you?” I asked him, smiling, and he chuckles.

”Yeah…” he mutters and we share a small laugh then he holds his hand out to me. “I’m Ben.” He introduces and I take his hand. “(Y/n).” I said as we shake hands. “(Y/n), beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He said and I give a bashful smile to him. “Thank you.” I said then he kisses the back of my hand and I felt my heart leap in my chest.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time, not since I married my husband.

“So, you happily married?” He asked me and my smile falters. “Judging by that frown, I’m guessing not.” Ben said and I sighed. “Just…going through a tough time right now.” I said. “That’s why I never married, when the tough times come in, there’s nothing to tie you down.” Ben said and I nod at this. “I’m starting to think that’s a good idea.” I said before I drink from the bottle again.

At that moment, we hear the door open behind us and I look over my shoulder to see it was Adam. “There you are.” Adam said as he comes up to me. Then he looks over at Ben and seems surprised. “Oh, I see you’re talking to your teammate.” He said and I furrow my brow. “Huh?” I said and Adam places an arm around my shoulder. “This is Soldier Boy. Your partner in the war.” Adam tells me and I was surprised by this.

I have heard the name Soldier Boy but I didn’t know what he looked like since I was trapped in that lab for the last few months.

I look over at Ben and he gives me a smile. “Surprise?” He asked me. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me for not recognizing you, sir.” I said to him. “It’s fine, just don’t go forgetting my face now.” He said, smiling, and I chuckled. “I most certainly will not.” I said and he nods.

”Well, I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sure I’m needed in there.” Ben said as he gestures to the door. And I felt a little sad about him leaving, I was kinda enjoying his company. “You two have a good evening.” Ben said as he walks over to the door. “And you as well.” Adam said then Adam turns to me as I look out on the balcony.

”I see you already starting the night off.” Adam said, gesturing to the bottle of champagne in my hands, but I don’t respond as I look over my shoulder in time to see Ben go to the door. It seemed he sensed me and he looks over his shoulder at me then smiles and gives me a wink before he walks in.

My heart absolutely fluttered at this and I felt my face go red before I look back out on the balcony

Present Day

*3rd Person POV*

"I heard Termite walked. My lead was good. What happened?" Maeve asked, annoyed, as she walks into Butcher's office. Butcher brings up his glass of whiskey up to his lips, stops as he looks at her then shakes his head. "Don't ask." He grumbles and he drinks from his glass.

"Well, we got to talk. I think I have something, thanks to my informant." Maeve said and she hands him a folder. "Informant?" Butcher asked as he takes the file and opens it to see some pages of information and pictures of Soldier Boy. "Soldier Boy. So what?" Butcher said as he looks up at her.

"Remember how he died?" Maeve asked him. "Stopping a nuclear meltdown in Ohio. '83, '84, I think, got buried beneath a reactor. Always thought it was bollocks." Butcher said. "Yeah, you thought right. Read." She tells him and he reads the file.

"What's B.C.L. RED?" He asked. "If you believe the rumors, it's the thing that killed Soldier Boy. My informant said it's some kind of gun or weapon or something. Had to have been a fսcking H-bomb. He was nearly as strong as..." Maeve said as Butcher looks through the file and looks at some pictures.

"If we can find this...weapon or whatever it is, maybe we can use it to blow Homelander's fսcking brains out." Maeve said. "If it is real, not some fսcking fable." Butcher said then he picks up the team-up picture of Payback. "Payback." Butcher mutters before he scoffs. "What a bunch of fսcking wankеrs." He said as he stares at photo. "When The Seven passed them as the number one super team, Crimson Countess sent me a box of cat shit. But not all of them were bad. She was a close friend of Soldier Boy and his ex-girlfriend." Maeve said as she gestures to the photo and points at the red-haired woman in the red outfit who was standing on the right of Soldier Boy.

"And, uh, Gunpowder was his sidekick." She said as she points at the young teen who was standing at Soldier Boy's left. "If anyone knows what happened to him, they do." Maeve said while Butcher noticed Noir in the photo. "Your mate Noir was in Payback. Why don't you ask him?" He asked her and Maeve scoffs. "Even if that walking tumor could talk, it wouldn't be to me." She said and Butcher looks at the photo again and noticed a woman standing on the other side of Gunpowder.

She looked about in her late twenties, her long (h/c) hair was braided and she was wearing a dark blue body-suit and a gold belt and knee high boots, a matching cape on her shoulders.

"Is that...?" Butcher started to ask and Mavee nodded. "Mystic Shade, yeah." She said. "Haven't heard that name in years." Butcher said and Maeve shrugs. "She retired sometime after Soldier Boy's death. She was fucking Soldier Boy." Maeve said as Butcher flips to another photo and this one was of Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade together. They were both smiling and Mystic Shade was hugging Soldier Boy as he had an arm around her waist.

Butcher then looks at Maeve. "Well then, I should be visiting her, not these two knobs." Butcher said but Maeve shakes her head. "No, Mystic Shade is off limits." She said, firmly, and Butcher gives her a curious look. "And why is that, princess?" Butcher asked and Maeve just glares at him.

Suddenly, it clicks with him. "Mystic Shade is your informant, isn't she?" He asked and Maeve averts his gaze and he smiles, knowing he was right. "Fine! Yes, she was the one that gave me this information. But she told me, specifically, that she didn't want to be questioned because this is all she wanted to give." Maeve said and Butcher watches her. "So, please, don't go bothering her." Maeve demanded.

"Well, well, well, didn't know you had such a soft spot for Mystic Shade." Butcher said and Maeve sighs. "We've been in communication for almost a year. Then when she heard about Homelander and all the fucked up things he's done and how I want him gone, she provided this." Maeve said and Butcher gives her a look that basically said he knew there was more to it.

"Fine, she was one of the heroes I looked up to when I was a kid, okay! Unlike most of these assholes, she actually cares about people." Maeve said. "Oh, I doubt that." Butcher said. "Doubt it all you want but it's the truth." Maeve said as she digs into her purse and pulls out a little bag. "Here." She said and Butcher takes the bag, unzips it and sees small vials of green liquid.

"What's this?" He asked her. "It's Temp V. One shot makes you a Supe for 24 hours. I mean, they think. It's still in R&D." Maeve said and Butcher gives her a look. "Oh, great, so powers, maybe. Maybe my bollocks swell up like footballs. Yeah?" Butcher said, sarcastically. "Payback may be a bunch of fսck holes, but they're strong. And they're dangerous. If you're going against them, you're gonna need it." Maeve warns.

"And what makes you think that me, of all people, would want to turn into one of you?" Butcher asked her as he takes a step closer to her. "This is our best chance to kill Homelander. Don't fսck it up." She said.

*(y/n)’s POV*

I sat at the table of my kitchen, staring at the letter I had received in the mail today. I sighed as I reread this damn letter from an old teammate of mine.

Mystic Shade,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know it has been years since we’ve talked or seen each other but I wanna discuss something with you. I can’t do it over the letter, I want to talk, face to face.

Voughtland is having a in memory of the anniversary of Ben’s death tomorrow and I’m gonna be there as a special guest. I’m hoping you could come and I’ll even tell my agent that you’re coming so you can come backstage for free.

I do hope to see you there.

Crimson Countess

”Shit.” I grumbled as I look at the letter. Countess and I were never really close, so her asking to talk to me is beyond weird. But curiosity did peak my interest so I decided that I’ll go and see what she wants.

@winchestergirl1720 @deans-spinster-witch @mimaria420 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @kitsun369 @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @deangirl96

#fandom #fanfic #fan fiction #reader insert #fan fic writing #jensen ackles #x reader #soldier boy #the boys #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x reader #reader imagine #superhero #the boys tv #tv show fandom #tv shows #tv ships

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zoeysdamn · 1 year

Text

Bloodied petals - Xavier Thorpe x reader | Part.2

Summary: Denial and weird roommates aren’t helping your health to improve. During the Poe cup, Xavier starts to suspect that something is wrong.

Warnings: angst, mention of blood, swearing.

A/N: definitely not proof-read and English isn’t my mother tongue, but the hype for the angst™ was stronger Also, shitty timeline, I have legit no memory of how long days pass in this show.

[Masterlist] [Part.1]

A few days had passed since that night. The frequency of the coughs hadn’t died down, although it was always quite unpredictable. Some days were easier than others, you only sneezed a few petals here and there; but some others were filled with sharp pain in your chest, uncontrollable coughs and whole flowers throwed up at the worst moments. You even started to feel lightheaded sometimes, as the unforgiving pressure on your chest squeezed harder and harder with every cough.

Thankfully you always managed to excuse yourself when you felt the pressure of a rough cough starting to build up in your chest. Like now, you were kneeling on one of the restroom’s floors, bent over the toilet sink and throwing up everything you could to try to free your lungs at least a little. Silently praying that no one was around to hear your choking sounds, you managed to throw out the last flower out of your throat. Wiping your mouth with the back of your trembling hand, you flushed the toilet, watching the white petals coated in blood being washed away. Sighing, you closed the toilet lid and sat on it, burying your face in your hands. Those last days had been hectic and your condition hadn’t improved the slightest. It even seemed worse than before, with some violent setbacks like now. It sometimes felt so hard to breathe for a few minutes, while you had never experienced any serious health issues before.

Maybe it was the stress; after Rowan’s aggression at the fair, Wednesday’s allegations about his death, then him being expelled, nothing made sense these days. Xavier hadn’t mentioned anything from that evening in his dorm. The day after had been a little bit awkward, but then the both of you acted like nothing happened; still, you started to put some distance between you. Firstly because you didn’t want to make things more weird, and second because you didn’t want anyone to know about that strange condition of yours. Plus, the sensation of aching lungs seemed to be worse every time you were around him. It surely didn’t mean anything, but it was a good excuse to avoid him until your health improved.

Checking your phone you noticed that your next class was about to start in a few minutes. So you gathered yourself, wiped the last remaining traces of tears or blood on your face, and got out of the restroom.

You slid on your seat in literature class just in time before the teacher started their lecture. Trying to pull out your notes and pen the more discreetly you could, you didn’t notice the worried look Xavier gave you from across the room. It wasn’t like you at all to be late for class. Even less to be so clumsy, he noted internally as you dropped your pen for the third time in five minutes. Xavier frowned. Something felt off about you and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about it deep down. You had left his dorm hurriedly last time ; he didn’t know exactly why but he still had the feeling he had something to do with it.

So when class was dismissed and all the students exited the room he rushed to catch you in the corridor.

“Hey,” he called softly when reaching you.

Your head whipped in his direction, eyes wide. You had been so deep in your thoughts you hadn’t heard him.

“Hey,” you breathed back. His sudden apparition had almost startled you.

Xavier opened his mouth, about to say something but then he noticed your wince at the loud barks and laughs of a few werewolves students passing by. The quad was full of students at this break time, and your recent lack of sleep made you irritable to the ambient noise.

So he grabbed your hand and muttered something about the place being too loud as he gently tugged you in a corridor. The sudden contact had made your heart race despite the familiarity of it; you silently prayed that he couldn’t feel your racing pulse under his long fingers, delicately wrapped around your wrist.

The two of you finally reached one of the corridors above the quad, much quieter than the place full of students. When it was clear that no one else was up here, Xavier let go of your wrist and turned to you.

“Hey,” he repeated, “are you alright?”

The sudden question made your heart start to race in panic. Has he noticed something? Did he find a petal in his dorm?

“You were late in class earlier,” he clarified at your lack of response, “you overslept or something?”

You almost sighed loudly in relief. “I- yeah I overslept this morning,” you lied with a small smile - you hoped it was reassuring enough. “Enid must’ve forgot to wake me up ah ah.”

Even if you laughed about it and brushed it away, Xavier was still not fully convinced. You were a decent liar to anyone else, but not to him, he knew you too well for that.

“Look, about what happened last night in my room…” he started awkwardly, licking his lips nervously, “I’m sorry you left so suddenly.”

You looked at him, eyes wide. “I- no that’s okay,” you stuttered, surprised he brought that up. “I had stuff to take care of, anyway.”

“Really?” he asked immediately, narrowing his eyes.

Taken aback by his fast response you could only stare at him, mouth slightly agape and lost for words. He was totally not buying it.

“Because you left in quite a hurry,” added Xavier, crossing his arms over his chest.

You looked away, licking your lips nervously. Why couldn’t he drop it? Or at least, figure out what had been bothering you? Maybe it’ll help you understand, because you weren’t so sure of what had hurt you so much either.

“It’s nothing, okay?” you mumbled quietly, still looking anywhere but at Xavier. “I just…I didn’t want to be too much, that's all.”

Too much, or overstepping in your fascination for Wednesday, you thought internally. But then, a hand came to cup your cheek and turn your face back to Xavier.

“Hey,” he said softly, and his voice made you look up at him. His warm brown eyes bore deep into yours, like a reassuring presence. “You will never be too much, okay? Not to me.”

You lightly gasped at his words, you didn’t even realize you released a breath. The tension that had been building inside your chest, full of anxiety and stifling sorrow, suddenly disappeared. Like his words were enough to blow away the petals that were threatening to come out your mouth.

“I know I acted as an idiot, okay?” he continued. Though his hand never left your cheek, and you were internally grateful for that. “I shouldn’t have dropped everything to start sketching while you were there.”

This felt like a cold shower. Ah, so that was what he thought he did wrong. Maybe it was, but the memory of what happened was still painful to you.

“I can’t stop you from drawing Xav,” you said, reluctantly pushing yourself away from his touch. “It wouldn’t be fair of me.”

Xavier frowned at you as you readjusted the strap of your bag over your shoulder, like you were ready to go. Never in all the years he had known you, you had ever fled his company. Yet, his presence seemed to make you uncomfortable now. Shit, how much of a prick had he been?

While he was stuck in his internal debate, you sighed. Of course, this topic was over for him. So you turned and started to walk away from him. That made Xavier snap back to reality, and a sliver of lucidity suddenly hit him.

“This is about Wednesday, isn’t it?” he called from behind.

That made you stop dead in your tracks and snap your head to him, eyebrows raised high.

“What?” you whispered.

The fact that it had made you react was maybe a sign that he was somehow right. As your mind tried to understand it all, the look of surprise on your face somehow reminded Xavier of the sadness that had emanated from you when you had left his room that night. It made his heart squeeze because he knew it was because of him.

“I- I know her. From before,” he explained, unsure about how to present things. “I met her when we were kids. She saved my life”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked perplexedly.

He opened his mouth once, twice, searching for the right words. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted.

Your throat felt suddenly tight. Like something bitter was stuck. “Is that why you admire her so much?” you asked, and you hear your voice crack a little. Hopefully with the distance, Xavier wouldn’t notice.

He didn’t. “I don’t know,” he repeated, still unsure of himself. He seemed as lost as you. “I just want to get to know her, you know?”

Deep in your chest, you felt your heart crack a little. It felt like the lightweightness you had felt only a few minutes earlier were gone, leaving your rib cage feeling like it was crushed by vines.

And yet, you couldn’t help but swallow everything, the bitter taste, the petals that started to gather in your lungs and the burning sensation of tears, and put on a brave smile.

“Well then, good luck Xav,” you smiled, hoping that your lips wouldn’t wobble too much. “I hope you’ll succeed in that.”

After all, you were his best friend. It wasn’t fair of you to stop him from reaching new friends, you had never had any problem with any of them before. But once again, none of his other friends had captivated him like that.

As you walked away once again, you heard him call you again.

“You’re still my girl, you know that right?”

His words made you stop. Slightly glancing behind your shoulder, you could see his sad eyes plagued with guilt; but you knew better, and recognized the sparkle in them. The unmistakable sparkle that twinkled in his eyes when you were speaking in hushed tones together, sharing secrets and moments, only the two of you. When he called you his girl, like he started to years ago. The two kids whose guardians were too busy to properly take care of, who swore to have each other’s back.

The familiarity of the nickname flooded your heart with warmth, and to Xavier’s relief it also made your lips curl into a fond smile.

“Yeah,” you answered softly, “I know.”

Walking to your next class, you felt lighter than before. The oppressing sensation of your lungs being squeezed was still here, always crawling behind your rib cage, but it felt like there was a little less pressure than before. Maybe there would be fewer petals today.

“Ah, there you are!” cheered Enid the next day, as you joined her on the yard after one of your classes. “Guess what! Wednesday agreed to substitute for Yoko’s role as co-captain for the race!”

“Really?” you asked, giving your gloomy roommate a surprised look.

“I never turn down an occasion for a crushing revenge,” she said flatly.

“It’ll be a roomie's bonding time!” squealed Enid, looking at the both of you excitedly. “All three of us, competing for the Poe cup!”

Wednesday raised her eyebrow at you, “I didn’t take you for the type to indulge in those childish games, Y/N. You just lost my entire respect.”

You shrugged, still unaffected by your new roommate’s brutal comments, “The school’s offering an occasion to legally try to drown other students, I’d be stupid to not have fun in that.”

“Fair enough,” she observed sharply. “You’ve regained my respect.”

That made you chuckle. Even if the apparent infatuation of Xavier for Wednesday pained you, you genuinely enjoy your new roommate’s company. She was weird, but again, everyone kind of was at Nevermore.

“What are you and Xavier to each other?” asked Wednesday suddenly.

The unexpected change of subject made you choke slightly. You had definitely not seen that one coming.

“Excuse me?” you said perplexed.

“I asked about the nature of the relationship between you and Xavier Thorpe,” deadpanned Wednesday.

God, why was her question making you so uneasy suddenly? You had never minded to bring the subject up, after all rumors at Nevermore were frequent and you were indeed close with him. But after what had happened - or almost happened - last time in his room, you weren’t so sure of what to say. Licking your lips nervously, unsure of how to present things, you turned to your other roommate silently pleading for help. But Enid only giggled excitedly.

“They’re best-friends to lovers' material,” she said with an amused smile.

“I don’t understand a single word you had just said,” sneered back Wednesday.

“We grew up together,” you finally said to interrupt Enid from spilling all of her theories about the two of you. “We’re close friends that’s all.”

The blonde werewolf gave you a wicked smile, “Suuuure you are.”

Rolling your eyes, you refocused on Wednesday, “Why are you asking?”

She only narrowed her eyes at you, “Gathering intel on potential suspects, that’s all.”

That brought a nervous laugh out of you, “Excuse me, what?”

“Nothing for you to worry about,” she snapped back, “if I ever need information about him I know who I’ll need to bribe,” she finished before turning and walking away.

You stood here dumbfounded for a moment, before coming after her.

“Hey!” you called her as you caught up with her until you were now facing her. “I don’t know what you’re suspecting of, but Xavier’s innocent, alright? And I won’t tell you anything if you’re trying to drag dirt on him, okay?”

Wednesday stared at you before answering, “You’d make an acceptable person if you didn’t let your emotions cloud your judgment so pathetically.”

“Thank you for the advice about social skills,” you said dryly, “but also, none of your damn business.”

She only shrugged and stepped away. “He’ll come to me anyway, considering he’s acting like a sad puppy for some reason.”

As she walked away, her words rang in your head. The harsh squeeze on your lungs it suddenly triggered was proof enough that she was unfortunately right.

The day of the Poe cup came around faster than you expected. Still, you were glad for the occasion to drift your mind away from the plaguing thought of your concerning condition. Enid and Wednesday were still unaware of it; when the coughs had started to shake you awake at night, your silencing spell had come handy. Now you cast it almost every night to prevent your roommates from hearing your gruesome choking.

“Aww we match!” clapped Enid as you and Wednesday joined the rest of the team in your cat costumes.

“Don’t get used to it,” groaned the Addams.

“So, are we ready?” asked the werewolf, “Everyone knows what they have to do?” At the collective nod, she cheered again and all the team members took place in the canoe.

“I thought you’d be co-captain, Y/N” observed Wednesday while grabbing her paddle.

“I’m much more useful at the back, trust me,” you said with a grin, “witch powers.”

That almost brought the tiniest smile to her face. At least Wednesday seemed to enjoy the competitive aspect of the race. Glancing to your right to the Joker's canoe, you caught a glimpse of Xavier at the front of the boat. You looked at his face painted in creepy clown makeup, and for a brief moment, you thought that he was actually pretty attractive like that. Shaking your head to chase the intrusive thought you mentally scowled yourself. Now was not the time! Despite that you glanced at him once again; only to feel your heart squeeze a little more at the sight of him looking to Wednesday. His words a few days prior rang in your head. You’re still my girl, you know that, right? Yes, you knew. But even if you were his girl, his oldest friend, it wasn’t you he was currently staring at like you were the only person in the world. You couldn’t hold back the cough that pushed itself out of your throat violently this time. The intensity of your coughing fit was new, shaking you so hard you ended up bent in half with your hand clutched on your mouth, trying to tune down your stifling noises.

“Y/N, you okay back there?” called Enid from her seat.

The wet sensation on your hand made you wince. “I’m fine,” you wheezed, “ ‘s nothing”

As soon as the coughs calmed down, you threw whatever you had regurgitated on the canoe floor before anyone could notice. Lifting your head up to recompose yourself, you caught sight of the face of your best friend, concerned in his eyes.

‘You alright?’ you saw Xavier mouth.

The only thing you could do was to nod before the sound of a blown horn indicated the start of the race. Without wasting a single minute, every team started to row like their life depended on it. Your eyes briefly flickered to your feet; between them laid three whole white lilies tainted with blood. You gulped. Now was really not the time.

After an eventful crossing of the lake, where you had your head almost chopped off by the Joker’s ax, your team finally managed to reach the island. While Wednesday ran to find the flag, you stayed to ensure nobody tried to sabotage your canoe – as Enid did to the Joker’s.

As you saw the two other teams coming back with their flags and sail again you started to worry about Wednesday. Has something happened to her? Before you and Enid started to talk about who should check on her, she appeared again, flag in hand.

“I got it, let’s go!”

All of your team jumped in your canoe in a hurry, and left the island in the blink of an eye.

“We’re far behind everyone else!” shouted one of your teammates. “We’re not gonna make it!”

“Y/N!” shouted Enid, “Think you can give us a little push?”

Immediately dropping your paddle inside the boat, you inhaled deeply, “I can! Brace yourselves ladies, hold tight!”

Trying to slow down your breathing you concentrated hard, reaching down to your powers and started to mutter the words of incantation. The water at the back of the boat suddenly started to shiver, and the next thing your team knew, the canoe was propelled onward by a hard push. They all gripped the edges of the boat to steady themselves as you gained speed, rapidly gaining a foothold your opponents.

“That’s amazing!” screamed Enid over her shoulder, “How long do you think can hold this?”

Deep into concentration you tried to not break the spell, “Long enough for us to reach the shore if everything goes smoothly!”

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a move in the water. One of the sirens.

“Wednesday!” you called her, “Eight o’clock!”

She whipped her head, immediately identifying the threat and nodded sharply. Thing crawled out from under her seat, and dove into the water. Oh, you loved that hand.

The outline of the shores were noticeable by now, so you reached deeper into your powers to try to give your boat a little more speed. The canoe accelerated again, going past Bianca’s team's flowing boat, but as you thought you could make a home run of this crossing, a violent cough startled you. The sudden stop in the push of your power shook the boat, your other team mates screaming in surprise while you tried the hardest to breathe.

“What’s going on?!” asked Enid.

Failing to swallow your coughs you could only hope for this fit to be a brief one, “Don’t cough stop,” you wheezed from your seat, “start cough cough paddling, we’re almost there!”

They all grabbed their paddles and started to paddle like their lives depended on it. You tried to keep up their paces, but the unforgiving coughs were weakening you too much. For a moment, you wondered if you weren’t going to pass out in the canoe. But then, as you approached the shore the euphoria of close victory on the boat gained you, and with a rush of adrenaline, you jumped out of the boat with your teammates, rushing to the finish line.

Cheers echoed everywhere around you, congratulating the Ophelia team. Even the feeling of petals scratching in your throat couldn’t ruin your joy for once. You knew swallowing it down was coming to bite you later, and that you were going to spend the evening throwing up petals and blood, but for now you wanted to feel normal.

Below on the shore, as the other teams reached the land Xavier’s eyes landed on a white and red spot on the ground of the black cat’s canoe. He frowned at the bloodied flowers, especially when he realized they were where you had sat. How did the flowers end up here?

Whipping his head in the direction of the joyful cheers, his eyes landed on you, your broad smile as Enid’s arms were thrown over your shoulders. It had been a long time since he hadn’t seen you smile like that.

But the way you turned away your face and covered your mouth with your hand to cough, just for a few seconds, didn’t escape him. Nor the slight smudge of blood dripping on the corner of your mouth just before you wiped it.

His eyes flickered to the blood-coated flowers in the boat, then back to you and a cold feeling suddenly sank inside of him.

Something felt off. Xavier didn’t know why yet, but something about you was very, very wrong.

[Part.3]

A/N: this was supposed to be a two-part one shot. Well, guess I'm writing a whole fic now Y'all are CRAZY about sad artistic blorbo Xavier and I love you for that sjgkgurgirge thank you for all the kind comments on the previous part QwQ♥

Hope you’re all doing okay, take care of you ♥

Taglist:

@apocalypticnova ; @libdarkheart ; @ameliabs-world ; @certifeidlovergirll ; @aeisnoa ; @cat-loves-music ; @coolchick333 ; @eringaitskilll ; @flowersownme ; @sweaterxav ; @sssleepless ; @l4venderia ; @eileen201804 ; @persipeonii ; @coldheartedmar ; @chaosfrisur ; @littlebabyk

Plz tell me if I’ve forgotten you in the taglist (or if you wanna join!)

#xavier thorpe #xavier x reader #wednesday #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #xavier x you #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe angst #hanahaki disease #no beta we die like men

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sevcasejay1chicago · 3 months

Note

Hi! Very happy to see you posted again.

Would love to see another Matt, Jay, and Kelly fic w/ morning sickness— maybe a follow up to the last one— where the reader’s morning sickness has gotten worse and one day after waking up in the middle of the night very ill she gets really shaky and lightheaded and the boys try to figure out if they should call 911, call Will, or drive to the ER.

Please no rush— you’re under no obligation to puts fics out fast. Health comes first. I hope life gets better for you soon <3

Here’s the part two you asked for FOREVER ago. I’m sorry for the wait my love!!! I hope you enjoy!!

Morning sickness- Jay, Matt, Kelly

Warnings: vomiting, SUPER fluffy

——————

You all hoped the morning sickness would go away. The boys hated seeing you so scared all the time. You were scared to eat, drink, sleep, and sometimes move. Even after you hit your 14 week mark, it just seemed to get worse. The boys refused to leave you, unless they absolutely had to. Matt and Kelly had decided to take different shifts at 51 to ensure that someone was always with you incase Jay got called in on a case. The intelligence unit was very forgiving and caring, trying their best to not pull Jay away from you unless Matt and Kelly were both home. Things seemed to flow better when two people were home with you. Someone always had you attached to their side while the other could do things to help you and keep up with things around the house.

One day, Kelly ended up needing to head to the store for you while Jay and Matt were at work. You both agreed that you could manage by yourself for the length of time he would be gone, though you weren’t completely confident. You had been feeling pretty sick and had yet to keep anything down, which led Kelly to go get a few things that you could sometimes keep down since you seem to be out of all of those things. You didn’t want to be any more of a burden than you already felt like you were, which made you agree to him leaving for a few minutes.

Everything went fine for the first 10 minutes, until the nausea got bad. You immediately texted Matt, letting him know you weren’t feeling good, as he was the one keeping track of all of your medical issues. In his worry, he decided to head home early, though he did not tell you that. He knew you were having some strong emotions with them changing their lives to take care of you, but he just couldn’t bare to be away from you any longer. This is the worst day you’ve had in a couple days.

Meanwhile, Jay had barely had the chance to set his keys and wallet down on the kitchen counter when he heard running footsteps. Assuming that he was alone since Kelly’s car was gone and you were never alone, Jay crept up the stairs with his gun in hand. He was quick to holster it when he heard vomiting coming from the master bathroom. He knew it could only be you. The sight of you shaking while trying to hold yourself up broke his heart.

“Oh god.” He whispered, heart pounding at the sight of your weak form. “Sweetheart. Sweetheart. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.” He said, running to you. He grabbed the hair you were trying to force out of the way, noticing how it was falling out of the hurried bun you threw it in. “I have your hair. It’s okay.” Jay shushed, rubbing your back and caging you between his legs.

Seconds later, Matt ran in. He could hear the commotion coming from the entryway. “Oh sweet girl.” You blindly reached for him as you heard his voice. “Aw, that’s alright. It’s alright. Just let it out.” Matt cooed, hating to see you so distressed as you heaved violently in Jay’s grip.

Jay leaned forward a bit when you started shaking violently, barely holding yourself upright. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I gotcha.” Jay soothed, strong arms coming around your chest after he let Matt take your hair.

You coughed, heaving in air during a little break. “Mmm, I don’t-“ you broke off into a sob that turned into a gag.

“Oh baby. I know. I know.” Matt shushed, petting your hair back. “It’s alright. It’ll be over in a minute.”

Simultaneously, Jay was whispering in your ear. “It’s alright. We’re here. We’re here. I know sweet angel. I know.” Jay soothed, kissing your shoulder.

“Mm-make it s-st-stop.” You grunted out, clutching your stomach.

“Shhh. I know baby. I know it’s uncomfortable and it hurts. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Matt shushed, seeing that Jay was doing everything not to break at your cries. He was a strong man, but you turned him into jello in your hands.

“Oh God.” Kelly said, sliding through the door. “I was gone for 30 minutes. I’m so sorry baby.” Kelly explained before coming to sit on the lip of the tub on your left. “It’s okay.” He soothed, taking the hand you reached out to him. You seemed to finally start to empty, mostly dry heaving. “Yep. All out baby.”

“You all done?” Matt asked, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe your face clean.

Instead of answering, you tried to push yourself to your feet to rinse your mouth out. “Whoa whoa. Don’t get up. Your pale and shaky. Just sit right here and let me rub your back, yeah?” Jay said, catching you by the waist and sitting down with you. You turned sideways in his lap, allowing him access to your back. “There we go. Oh I know it. I know your stomach hurts. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed as you whimpered, kissing your temple.

You looked at Matt through hazing, tear filled eyes. “Aren’t y-you s-su-supposed to be at w-work?” You managed to get out, trying to wrap your brain around what was going on.

“Shhh don’t try to talk. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine babe. Let’s worry about you and talk more later.” Matt shushed gently, worried about how pale you were and how sluggish your eyes and brain were. They needed to get some sugar in you. “Think your completely done? Maybe we can try some Gatorade.” Matt said.

Just the mention of putting something in your stomach had you heaving again. You pushed off of Jay and leaned over the toilet again, heaving hard.

“Oh. Okay okay. It’s okay baby.” Jay soothed.

“That a girl.” Kelly praised, clutching your hand again.

“Hurts.” You wheezed out, clutching your stomach with your free hand.

“Yeah. I know baby. I know it hurts. It’s okay.” Matt soothed, looking to Kelly. “Think we should take her to Med or call for help? She isn’t looking good.” Matt said, knowing you likely weren’t actually hearing him as you went through another round of violent heaving.

Both boys looked at you as you sucked in air, finally calming your stomach some. You stared off into space, seeming to lose track of reality.

“Baby. Are you okay?” Kelly asked, cupping a hand under your bicep.

Jay felt you sagging and immediately pulled you into his chest. You were hot from all the puking, but you were barely sweating. “Call Will. Tell him to bring an IV bag over here. She’s dehydrated.” Jay instructed, standing with you in his arms. You whined at the sudden movement, but clung to Jay’s neck.

“No. I’ll drive your truck with lights. Matt, call Will and have him get a room ready at med.” Kelly said, using a tone that left not room for arguments.

The ride was fast and Will barely had the room set up to check the baby and get you hydrated before Jay was running in the door with you. Nat saw you being carried through the door and ran into the room, helping put the baby monitor on you while Will put an Iv in.

Hours later, the baby seemed to be settling and you were starting to come around. You weren’t happy that you had an Iv in your hand, but you were pleased to see Jay and Matt sleeping peacefully while Kelly stood with his back to you.

When he heard you shuffle around in the bed, he quickly wiped his face and turned to you.

“Oh baby. Hey sweetheart.” Kelly cooed, barely above a whisper. He immediately came to your side, taking your hand.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, wiping left over tear tracks off of Kelly’s face after he kissed you briefly.

“I’m sorry I left you.” Kelly whispered, bottom lip quivering as he spoke.

“No no no.” You whispered. “Come here.” You demanded gently, tugging him into the hospital bed with you. “It’s not your fault. You were trying to take care of me the best you could. I should have spoke up.” You said, cuddling into his side, careful of the wires and tubing.

“Damn right you should have.” Jay mumbled, staying seated as Matt laid resting on his shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again.” Jay whispered, pout on his lips.

“Yes dear.” You replied, hiding in Kelly’s chest as Jay gave you his “dad” eyes. The “you just wait” eyes, but not in a good way. You knew he was playing, but you also knew you scared the crap out of your lovers. You just hope this kid chills out.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

@celtic-shadow-wolf

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #matt casey #kelly severide #jay halstead #fluff #matt casey x reader #jay halstead x reader #comfort #kelly severide x reader #emeto fic #emetophobia tw

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strang3lov3 · 16 days

Text

Edit 4/5/24 - Aya’s taken my fic down, and I promised to take down my posts about her plagiarism if she’d apologize to me for hurting me. She didn’t, so these posts are staying up. I blocked her and let her know she’s more than welcome to send an ask from a side blog apologizing. This behavior is unacceptable.

Update about my plagiarized fic/ayadrafts (original post here)

Tw-fatphobia, violent threats

First, I wanna say thank you to everyone who is showing up and sticking up for me. Eddie stans, Joel stans, writers and readers both. I love and appreciate you so much. I know a good amount of you have reported ayadrafts and that’s awesome. If anyone in the comments is able to let others know how to do the same, that would be greatly appreciated.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how to update this so I think we’ll just go through the timeline.

Explanation below.

Last time I talked about this yesterday where I wasn’t responding to an ask, I showed screenshots of ayadrafts’ messages with others, how she laughed at both them and me. I posted and reblogged with screenshots of countless deleted comments. That was in late afternoon. During that time, people repeatedly commented on Ayadrafts’ post calling out her blatant theft of my work and even alerted blogs that had reblogged/liked her post that it was stolen from me. Ayadrafts has admitted to stealing my fic, but simply does not care or feel bad.

What I did not see and what I do not have screenshots of is Ayadrafts telling individuals to k*ll themselves. It seems that she gets a comment, replies to it, and then deletes both within seconds. Multiple people, both friends and strangers have let me know that this was taking place.

As if she could not get any lower. Laughing in my face, mocking my work, and then telling people to k*ll themselves? Absolutely abhorrent and frankly, fucking cruel.

But apparently others who were defending me were cruel right back to her. From what I’ve heard, I believe people who were commenting remained fairly civil, even if ayadrafts herself did not like the comments. I’ve received asks about this and I’m disappointed to hear that people were in her asks calling her a fat cunt and other abhorrent things. That’s a low blow and does not reflect me or my values.

Believe me, I understand the anger. I’ve never met someone so antisocial and uncaring. I am angry too. Fucking livid. But that doesn’t give me or anyone else the right to say something just as heinously cruel back to her. I don’t condone anyone being sexist, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, or hateful on my behalf. None of these things will ever be tolerated by me, even if they’re being used to “defend” me. Not okay with that in the slightest.

Take the high road, don’t give this person any more ammo to be any more cruel and atrocious than she’s already being.

After this, ayadrafts disabled replies on her post of my stolen fic for the night and everything quieted down for the most part. Today, I see that she’s got those replies back on and is likely looking for another fight, blocking and unblocking people. Because, like I said yesterday, it is evident that she has a clear need for negative attention, and all of this is a game to her.

If you wanna participate in that game, you’ve got my consent. Spam the shit out of her, annoy her through posts like this and this. I don’t care, because frankly I am past the point of sympathy with her, and I think I’ve been way too forgiving up to this point. Maybe she’ll cave and delete my fic like I’ve repeatedly asked her to do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But it’s entirely possible she won’t, and that she’ll double down even harder, and that by continuing to fuel the fire she’ll only debase herself further and in doing so make us all feel worse. Were you all drained watching this go down yesterday? Because I sure as shit was.

So at some point I might ask you all that we just drop it, for both the sake of my mental health and your own. I think we’re all unbelievably hurt and upset, but we need to be able to walk away at some point. The reality is, we can keep this going forever but hateful, spiteful people like this don’t often thrive long without something to feed on.

I’ve reported her post multiple times, tweeted at tumblr, and I’ve heard nothing but crickets. It is what it is.

#strang3lov3 #ayadrafts #Joel miller x reader #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x reader smut #discourse #tw discourse

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kckt88 · 5 months

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Petitions & Final Tributes.

Summary:

Rhaenyra returns to Kings Landing to defend Luke's claim to Driftmark and Aemond delivers a tribute to his nephews.

Warning(s): Anger, Swearing, Violence, Death & Mentions of Sexual Actions.

Word Count: 2605

Author Note: A companion piece to Wedding & Consummation/Arrival(s)/Mother & Father/The Hand, The King & The Dragon/Dragonstone/A Time for Grief/The Gullet & Harrenhal and the Rivers, but can be read as a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

“Vaemond Velaryon is coming to Kings Landing to petition for his right to claim Driftmark”.

“Lord Corlys isn’t even dead yet, and the vultures already circle” muttered Vaera.

“He means to challenge Lucerys’ claim as heir,” said Otto.

A young squire entered the room, nervously wringing his hands.

"Apologise Lord Hand, but the dragons Meleys, and Moondancer have landed at the dragon pit."

"Oh, Do you suppose she has come to petition herself or claim Baela as heir?" asked Alicent.

It was a good question. Rhaenys has ruled in the absence of her husband with Baela as her ward, so if anyone had a claim, it could be Rhaenys. And Baela was the true born daughter of a Velaryon. But Vaemond would no doubt argue against both of them as they were women.

"Rhaenys is smart, she knows that Vaemond has more of a claim than her” said Aemond.

"Baela is her ward, and she is the trueborn daughter of Lady Laena. Baela would be a good option to rule” said Vaera.

“I doubt Vaemond would accept Baela being named heir,” said Otto.

“What of Rhaenyra?” asked Aemond.

“No doubt she will fight for Luke’s claim. What choice does she have” replied Vaera.

“What of Viserys?” asked Alicent.

“The King is far too ill to sit the Iron Throne. As Queen it shall be you who sits in judgement over who shall claim Driftmark” said Otto firmly.

In the last two years, Viserys health had seriously declined. He appeared almost skeletal, his flesh decaying at a rapid rate. He’d lost his right eye and most of his cheek, he spent his days in bed so dosed up on milk of the poppy that he was barely coherent.

He had no idea who he was, or where he was. He also had no idea who anyone else was either. Several times he’d mistaken Vaera for his beloved Rhaenyra. He’d even grasped her hand once and breathed ‘Rhaenyra. My only child’. Vaera stopped visiting him after that, and she certainly never told Aemond what he’d said.

Later that day, Vaera was pacing around the nursery she really didn’t want to see her mother or Daemon, but she had no choice, no doubt they’d heard of Vaemond’s plan to petition for the right to Driftmark which would essentially call Luke’s legitimacy into question as it was announced earlier in the day that they were on their way to Kings Landing.

“I hate feeling like this” muttered Vaera.

“How do you feel?” asked Aemond.

“Upset. Confused. Angry. Pick one”.

“Try not to worry Issa jorrāelagon” replied Aemond (My love).

“Easier said than done I’m afraid”.

“I know things with your mother and Daemon were never easy. But the petition tomorrow is important. We have to be there” said Aemond.

“I know we do, that was never in doubt. I just hope they don’t stay too long. This is our home. Our children’s home and I don’t want them spoiling our happiness”.

“I can assure you that won’t happen and if they even try, I’ll see their tongues ripped from their mouths” said Aemond.

“So violent” muttered Vaera as she pressed a kiss to her husband’s lips.

“Oh, you have no idea. But for now, let’s just focus on getting the petition out of the way and not worrying about anything or anyone that comes along with it” said Aemond.

“With you by my side. I’ll try” said Vaera.

“I’ll always be by your side” exclaimed Aemond.

“You are joking right?” asked Vaera stunned.

“I’m afraid not Princess. Your mother has requested to see you, she has also asked that you bring the children”.

“Apologise but you can tell my mother that I do not wish to see her, and she will not be seeing my sons” said Vaera firmly as she gently brushed Aemon’s hair.

“Princess” said the maid bowing respectfully before she left.

“She requests to see you now?” snarked Aemond as he lifted Rhaegar onto his knee.

“I have not seen or heard from my mother since our wedding. She didn’t even come to see her grandsons when they were born, but she can come to Kings Landing to defend Luke’s claim to Driftmark” snapped Vaera as she started braiding Aemon’s hair.

“She’s up to something” replied Aemond as he bounded Rhaegar on his knee, his son squealing gleefully.

“No doubt she wants to see me and the boys, so she can pretend to be the doting mother and grandmother to sweet talk me into standing by her at the petition as a show of support”.

“A pointless endeavour if I ever saw one” muttered Aemond.

“Not a chance will I give in to her whims. I mean can you imagine the trouble it would cause if I was to stand by her” snapped Vaera.

“It would definitely keep the court gossips busy” said Aemond.

"Amongst other things" muttered Vaera.

Vaera could feel the cold glare of Daemon as she stood next to Aemond, Helaena and Aegon in the Throne room.

“Looks like he’s about to piss himself” muttered Aegon as he nodded towards Luke.

Vaera tutted at Aegon’s comment, but now it was time for the petitions to begin.

Vaemond spoke first. When Rhaenyra interrupted him, Vaera was actually pleased that Alicent put her in her place. Did she really think she could just interrupt him? If he had interrupted her, she would have raised hell.

But he was done, and it was her turn.

“If I am to answer this farce with any sort of grace, then I should start by reminding the court that almost twenty years-“

“-King Viserys of House Targaryen, the First of His Name, King of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm" said Ser Erryk loudly.

Vaera shook her head in disbelief.

It was over.

Vaemond was never going to win against Rhaenyra, not now Viserys had miraculously roused himself from his medicated stupor to come to the defence of his favourite child.

It took an age for the ailing King to reach the Irone Throne, but he made it, albeit with some help from Daemon.

"I do not understand why petitions are being heard over a settled succession. The only one present who might offer keener insight into Lord Corlys' wishes is the Princess Rhaenys" said Viserys between pants and gasps for air.

"It was ever my husband's will that Driftmark passes through Ser Laenor to his, trueborn son, Lucerys Velaryon. His mind never changed, nor did my support of him. As a matter of fact, Princess Rhaenyra has just informed me of her desire to marry Jace, and Luke to Lord Corlys’ granddaughters Baela and Rhaena. A proposal to which I heartily agree" said Rhaenys.

Naturally, Vaemond was furious at his failure to seize control of Driftmark.

“You break law and centuries of tradition to install your daughter as heir. Yet you dare tell me who deserves to inherit the name Velaryon. No. I will not allow it."

"'Allow it'? Do not forget yourself, Vaemond. Lucerys is my trueborn grandson, and you are no more than a second son of Driftmark" snapped Viserys.

Vaemond was aghast at the King’s words.

"That is no true Velaryon, and certainly no nephew of mine!" yelled Vaemond as he pointed towards Luke.

Vaera reached for Aemond's hand.

"Go to your chambers. You have said enough," ordered Rhaenyra frowning.

In all her faults, Rhaenyra never tolerated anyone for calling her children bastards, not even Vaera. But that was then, this is now, and much had changed.

"You may run your house as you see fit, but you will not decide the future of mine. My house survived the Doom, and a thousand tribulations besides. And gods be damned, I will not see it ended on the account of this-"

Vaemond paused.

"Say it” urged Daemon smirking.

"Her children. ARE BASTARDS! Even the one standing over there that calls herself Targaryen, they are the products of their WHORE mother!" screamed Vaemond.

Aemond squeezed Vaera’s hand.

"I will have your tongue for this!" hissed Viserys.

But it was too late.

Daemon sliced Dark Sister through Vaemond's skull like it was jelly. Alicent, Helaena and Aegon all back up in horror as Vaemond's lifeless body hit the stone floor, but Vaera and Aemond stayed put, staring down at Vaemond’s decapitated corpse as the blood pooled across the stone floor.

Vaera looked at Daemon who smirked at her.

"Disarm him!" yelled Otto.

"No need," said Daemon as he turned away and cleaned his blade.

Viserys soon fell back onto the throne groaning and Alicent ran to him.

"Call the maesters! Please, my love, you must take something for the pain” urged Alicent as she helped Viserys to his feet.

"I will not cloud my mind. I must make things right" gasped Viserys as he was escorted out of the Throne room by a maester and Ser Erryk.

“You look beautiful” muttered Aemond.

“What are you after?” asked Vaera smiling as she placed a gentle kiss on Aemond’s jaw.

“My wife. Moaning my name as I fuck her. Hard” whispered Aemond as he nuzzled the side of Vaera’s face, ignoring the gaze of his mother.

“Mērī lo nyke kostagon bībagon aōha orvorta ēlī” (Only if I can suck your cock first).

“Nyke kostagon rȳbagon ao” said Aegon grimacing slightly (I can hear you).

Vaera blushes as Aemond presses his lips against her cheek just as Rhaenyra entered, with Daemon and the children following.

Soon the King entered, and everyone rose from their seats as Viserys was carried to the table.

"How good it is to see you all tonight together" wheezed Viserys once everyone was seated.

"Prayer before we begin. May the Mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the Smith mend the bonds that have been broken for far too long. And to Vaemond Velaryon, may the gods give him rest”.

Vaera hadn't closed her eyes, but Aemond had. So, he hadn't noticed Daemon's smirk when Alicent prayed for Vaemond.

"This is a cause for celebration. My grandsons, Jace and Luke, shall marry their cousins, Rhaena and Baela, to further strengthen the bond between our families. A toast to the young princes, and their betrothed" said Viserys.

Vaera saw Aegon lean over to Jace and whisper something to him. By the reaction Jace had, Vaera could only imagine how lewd Aegon had been.

"And to Lucerys Velaryon, future Lord of the Tides!"

"Hear, hear!" said Daemon loudly.

More whispering before Jace snapped.

"You can play the jester if you wish but hold your tongue before my betrothed"

Aegon looked over at his brother with a smirk and Vaera tried to hide her smirk.

Viserys seemed keen to start another speech. "It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces most dear to me in all the world yet grown so distant from each other in the years past. My own face is no longer a handsome one, if indeed it ever was. But tonight, I wish you to see me as I am”.

The mask came off, and Vaera was still horrified by the sight of his disintegrated cheek and hallowed out eye socket. Rather poetic though, to be missing an eye. Given his lack of reaction to Aemond losing an eye.

"Not just a king, but your father. Your brother. Your husband, and your grandsire. Who may not, it seems, walk much longer among you. Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown ... then for the sake of this old man who loves you all so dearly" said Viserys.

Quite ironic coming from the man who divided the house in the first place, by marrying Alicent Hightower instead of Laena Velaryon. But then again if he didn’t, Aemond wouldn’t exist, and neither would their sons.

Rhaenyra stood and made a toast for Alicent, which earned an eye roll from Vaera, then she had the audacity to make another toast.

“A toast to my daughter Vaera and my grandsons Aemon and Rhaegar, whom I have yet to meet, I wish them health and happiness” Rhaenyra.

“Who’s fault is that?” muttered Aemond.

“My love, leave it” begged Vaera.

Aegon seemed to have unfished business. For he whispered something else to Jace and he stood, angered. Aemond quickly stood in defence of his brother.

"Jace, no," whispered Rhaenyra.

So Jace raised his cup, looking at his two uncles.

"To Prince Aegon, Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other in years, but I have fond memories of our shared youth. To you and your family's good health, dear uncles. And my sweet sister of course"

Vaera noticed that Aemond seemed somewhere else. Fond memories? He couldn't think of a single one with Jace involved.

But Helaena stood to make a toast, and his attention was now on her.

"I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They'll soon be married. If they don't fall in love like Vaera and Aemond did, it won't be too bad. Not every relationship can be that wonderful. But it isn't so bad, mostly he ignores you. Except sometimes when he's drunk,” said Helaena.

“Apologise for the interruption. But Prince Rhaegar is calling for his mother,” said Mayla.

“If you’ll excuse me Your Grace” said Vaera as she gave Aemond a kiss on the cheek and swiftly left the dining room.

Having little to no idea of the chaos that would soon erupt in her absence.

“Jēda syt ēdrugon issa dōna byka zaldrīzes” whispered Vaera as she tucked Rhaegar in his bed, making sure that he had his stuffed dragon teddy within his reach (Time for sleep my sweet little dragon).

“Avy jorrāelan muña” muttered Rhaegar as he closed his eyes (I love you mother).

“Avy jorrāelan tolī” replied Vaera smiling (I love you too).

Vaera checked on Aemon who was fast asleep, his hands clutching his favourite blue blanket to his chest.

“Don’t forget to keep the fire going. Aemon doesn’t like the dark” said Vaera.

“Yes Princess” replied Myla.

“Goodnight Myla” said Vaera quietly.

“Goodnight Princess”.

Vaera closed the door to the nursery and crossed the corridor to her shared chambers with Aemond.

Deciding to forgo bathing until the morning, Vaera had barely changed into her shift before her husband came storming in.

“A-Aemond. What’s wrong?” asked Vaera.

“Tell me you love me” muttered Aemond as he pulled Vaera too him.

“I love you”.

“Tell me you need me” begged Aemond as he lowered his head and pressed his face into Vaera’s shoulder.

“I need you”.

“Tell me you want me” whispered Aemond placing gentle kisses along the column of Vaera’s neck.

“I want you”.

“Hm” muttered Aemond as his fingers began untying the laces of her shift.

“I-I haven’t bathed tonight” said Vaera shivering as the shift slipped from her body, leaving her standing naked.

“I don’t care. I need you. Please” muttered Aemond as he began pulling off his own clothes.

Vaera nodded wordlessly as Aemond kissed her, walking them backwards towards the bed.

As Viserys lay on his bed wheezing into the darkness, he knew his time had come.

His family was finally united, and he could leave this world with the knowledge that House Targaryen would continue. The blood of old Valyria would live on.

“A-Aemma. I-I’m coming”

She’s here. She’s come for me. I’m ready. Take me with you.

“M-My love” whispered Viserys his hand stretched into the darkness.

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #aemond fanfiction #aemond x oc #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #aemond fic

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goblintoothfairy · 1 month

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I've just started working with teenagers who come from rough backgrounds, have mental health and behavioural issues, and struggle to stay in school. A couple of the boys can be pretty bigoted - racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, you name it - but one especially is.

We took a few of them out to do some activities and had a pretty fun day. This kid who didn't know that I'm queer and trans was saying all day about how he liked me. Then he gets back to the centre and out of nowhere starts talking about how he hates gay people, how he beat up his brother for being gay and how it's not natural.

So I sat down with him and we talked about it. I listened to him say a bunch of slurs and spout more homophobic shit before telling him that I'm not straight.

I didn't know how he'd react - a few people thought he might get violent. But he listened, and asked questions. About my identity, about when I 'chose' to be gay, all of that.

We talked for a while, and he concluded that he was OK with lesbians existing but he was still disgusted by gay men. Evidently we've still got some work to do on that. Then he said: "But I hate trannies, though."

I didn't know how to react for a second. I hadn't planned on coming out to him - I didn't think I could do it safely, partly because of his beliefs and partly because of wider attitudes about trans people in the UK at the moment. But I told him: "I'm trans, actually."

He put his head in his hands and seemed embarrassed. Good. His mate looked at him and asked why he decided to say that.

And surprisingly this kid listened to me again, and genuinely seemed to want to have a discussion with me. He told me about his beliefs about trans people and I heard him out, and then challenged them. I talked to him about dysphoria: "how would you feel if you woke up with tits tomorrow?" We discussed my nonbinary identity (predictably, he made an attack helicopter joke). And I told him about how I don't feel safe at night because of being trans - something he could relate to, in a sense, cause these kids deal with a lot of violence.

Sure, he was still saying a bunch of homophobic and transphobic stuff. But he told me that even though he doesn't like queer people, he likes me. And I think that that cognitive dissonance alone could spark a change of attitude in him. It's going to take time, and a lot more conversations. But I have faith in him, I think, and I'm proud of him for sitting down and talking with me.

It's really fucking scary being a trans person in education right now. Hearing about the education guidance targeting trans kids, reading all of the TERF rhetoric in the news and on social media, hearing about all of the shit going on in the US... It's enough to make you want to quit, and I don't blame queer educators for quitting. But even though it can be shit being the unofficial representative of your entire community, I'm honoured that I can be here and hopefully, eventually, change some of these kids' minds.

#trans #transgender #education #queer education #lgbtq #queer #lgbt #tw transphobia #tw transphobes #nonbinary #uk education #schools #teachers #teaching #personal #tw homophobia

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xbl00dy-r0s3x · 10 months

Note

Hi lovely, hope you're doing alright!! May I request Hobie x reader who's having a rough time mentally ( I call em bad brain days) and they're having a rough time with school (college finals), crazy bs at the day job (customer service fucking blows lmao), and in their dimension they have a shitty guardian ALONG with dealing with being a spidey. After patrol Hobie swings into his place and finds them having a really bad panic attack (and he's freaking out cuz he's never seen them like this before). They're trembling like crazy, hyperventilating, really warm and crying and it just sets his Spidey sense OFF. He talks them down and comforts them from a distance then when they ok it, he comes closer to provide physical comfort...letting them touch his accessories (he hands them one of his bracelets for sensory purposes to help bring them down), play with his rings, etc. He just cuddles them to his chest, providing words of comfort.

Sorry if this is too specific, I may have gotten a lil carried away lmfao.

Anyway stay freaky, have good vagina, I love ya!!

(honey anon)

A lil mental health awareness story, I like it(I hope I do good man, it’s been a minute since I’ve written) Let’s see how this goesssss(I might’ve went off script a lil, apology in advance if I did)

Bad Brain Day

“These finals are gonna be the death…” you sighed while studying for your math final. You barely got through AP Literature review packet(that was on stuff the teacher regrettably didn’t cover😒😒) and you hoped to god(or whatever you believe in) that you passed your 3 other finals. The past two weeks working at the little cafe a block from your college wasn’t any better.

Some customers were nice enough to realize you were sleep deprived and not ready to deal with bullshit, but apart from them, the rest were hell. It went from getting yelled at constantly, to being tripped by a group of high school girls and spilling hot coffee all over their uniform, to even someone random dude being racist and spitting in your face before throwing his money and his coffee at you.

It didn’t help that most of your friends were all busy, two or three actually checked on you from time to time to make sure you were doing okay mentally(you tend to have bad things happen around finals week) and the one person you tried to talk to about the “debts” that you owed them for raising you was unreachable. You tried texting, calling, hell you even tried zoom calls and e-mails, but to no avail, you wouldn’t be surprised if the motherfucker withdrew a couple hundred dollars(that you didn’t have) as his payment this month(like he usually did).

And the countless times of having to disappear from class and work to go deal with some bad guys in not only your dimension, but Miles and Pavitr’s dimensions as well hadn’t helped the stress that was starting to build up, even Miguel started to worry when you’d show up more sleep deprived then the last time you were there. Eventually he told you to take a break from the spider society so you didn’t get hurt and you were thankful, but it wasn’t like the bad guys in your dimension would ever let you catch a break.

Which leads to today as you were studying for your last final, you started to feel your chest close up and your eyes started to water. “No, not again,” you groaned internally as you went into another panic attack that started with you in your little spinning gamer chair to being on the floor in the corner of your room. You were violently shaking, trying breathing exercises to calm yourself down, but to no avail. As you were starting to calm down from the attack, your anxiety spiked as you heard a knock at your window.

‘F-fuck. Who is it? I-I can’t deal with this and another person right now,’ you thought as the person knocked again. “Y/n? Y’kno is rude to leave company waitin’,” said Hobie as he opened your window and saw you in the corner. ‘Oh shit,’ he thought when he saw your state. Your hair was messy, you were crying, but it didn’t hide the eye bags that you had from the lack of proper sleep, and your clothes made you look more bummy then you thought it did.

“Hey love, you doin’ okay?” he said in a softer tone than before as he sat on the windowsill. You slightly shook your head no. “Y’kno… I’m not the best with words so is it ok if I play my guitar a little?”

You thought he might play some of his punk music he’s been practicing, so you were a little off put by the request, but you slowly nodded yes, wiping tears that wouldn’t let up as you hoped you didn’t make the wrong decision. To your surprise, he strummed his guitar strings softly and it was one of the songs he’s heard you have playing when your really stressed out that helps prevent these attacks from happening as often.

As time went on, you felt more and more relaxed, eventually letting him come sit next to you and gave you one of his bracelets to mess with. After a bit, you ended up between his legs and had started messing with both of his hands, admiring how the rings complimented his skin and his surprisingly nice nails that he’d let you paint from time to time. While you were in your own world of mind fog from the panic attack, his voice brought you comfort as he mumbled some words of comfort that sounded a little jumbled by his accent, but you loved it nonetheless.

You laid back against him while opting to mess with just one of his hands, his other wrapping around your waist and pulling you in closer to him, letting you know you were loved. Soon enough, you both fell asleep, with him leaning his back against the wall and you leaning in to him. Little did he know, he was gonna have a crock in his back for a while, but he’ll think it’s worth it after what he accomplished the night before.

I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO END THIS SWEETLY BUT YKNOW WHAT, I LOVE IT AND HOPE YOU DO TO, Much love and light, have a great rest of your day, my lovelies (I did try to capture hobie’s accent/slang and his pronunciation of words, I hope I did well)

#hobie x reader #hobie brown imagine #spider punk #hobie brown headcanons #hobie brown #hobie brown x you #spider punk x reader #spiderpunk x reader #across the spiderverse

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

Text

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 31 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

Summary: Loki hated being Odin's son but he might just be not.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, violence, guns, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

As you awakened your vision seemed blurry. You tried to adjust to your surroundings because your mind felt hazy and then suddenly it came rushing back to you, you were going home with Loki and the car had broke down, he asked you to text Steve and Thor, then he stepped out and you remembered him being shot, your eyes filled with grief at the memory.

What if he was dead? What would you do without him? You looked around and the place reminded you of that den Odin had made at the center, it looked eerily similar. You tried to stand up but your hands were tied together and so were your legs, you tried to scream too but there was a duct tape over your mouth. They had you lying on top of a slab made of rocks.

Looking down you noticed how your clothes were drenched in blood, were you hurt? You couldn't really tell, you didn't feel any pain either, not in the physical sense atleast, you just wanted Loki to be okay and alive, you just wanted to hold him one more time, you wanted to kiss him and you wanted to love him. He can't just be taken away after everything you both have been through, especially not by the hands of those same monsters who had ruined him so badly that he was afraid to even feel love.

"You know whose blood is on your body?" You heard Odin's voice from behind you and froze, you remembered seeing him before you fainted. He circled around you and you wanted to scream out of fear, he laughed as he noticed your shivering form. You winced as he ripped the duct tape off your mouth harshly.

"It belongs to that impotent slave of mine. It's filthy and illegitimate just like his existence" your eyes welled up as he said that. How could he hate his own son? That too someone like Loki, he was the kind of man who would have done anything for his loved ones, he would have sacrificed himself for them if they had given him the love that he truly deserved.

"You're all fucking evil and deserves to rot in hell" you mumbled, anger laced every word you spoke. You heard James, Clint and Odin chuckling.

"Where's loki?" Your voice choked on your tears as you questioned, you were worried sick about him, your heart refused to stay still, you just wanted to see him.

"You know I really wanted to bring him back to Asgard, he was a good slave, though incompetent at times, but then he betrayed me and how. I would never forgive him for that" Odin mumbled nonchalantly.

"He's your son, how could you do this to him?" You weeped as you questioned, your daddy didn't love you but he hated your mommy more and he never hurt you like this, you couldn't understand how Odin was capable of abusing his own son in such a cruel manner.

"My son? Oh no no no…he's not my son, he was the curse, he was the reason why I was banished from my kingdom, it was because of him I ended up here" your eyes widened in shock as he said that. What did he mean?

"What do you mean?" You asked him but he laughed again. He gestured to his men and they dragged Loki in front of you, he was bleeding from the wound on his shoulder and he was unconscious, you feared that he wasn't even alive anymore but then you saw his chest heaving slowly and it made you cry even harder, he was in pain and you couldn't do anything to comfort him.

"Look at him so weak and easy to break, Thor wouldn't even flinch if a bullet was to pierce his heart even, but then he's my own son unlike this swine" Odin menacingly stepped towards Loki and it made you scared so you started to scream.

He turned Loki on his front to step on the gunshot wound and the sheer pain brought him back to consciousness, he seemed confused for a moment before everything came running to him. He seemed paler than usual, he had lost a lot of blood and you feared he wouldn't make it. He turned his head to look at you and his eyes welled up. He was supposed to keep you safe but he failed again.

"Wake up princess, it's time to die" Odin kicked him in the stomach and you saw Loki coughing out blood.

"Stoppp pleasee.. stoppp just stop ..pleasee you can do whatever you want to me ..just dont hurt him pleasssee" you cried and screamed your words out, but your beggings only managed to make them all laugh.

"A woman is going to protect you now huh? If Laufey could see how low his son had fallen, he'd sacrifice you again" Loki looked at him shocked as Odin said that. All those years Frigga told him that he wasn't his father's son but he never really believed it, Frigga and Odin were all he knew for as long as he could remember, he always thought Frigga said it to appease him whenever he felt evil just like Odin.

"Laufey?" He whispered and Odin laughed in response before he spoke again.

"Before you die and are sent to hel ,let me reveal something, you never wondered why I treated you so poorly? It was because you never were my own blood Loki, you belonged to my sworn enemy. You are laufey's son" Odin raised his voice

"Laufey's son" he mumbled to himself and Odin smiled. He squatted down and gripped Loki's hair then he pulled on it as harshly as he could.

Loki knew about the story, the crazy story that Odin had made to justify all this, he always said that the King of Jotunheim Laufey had joined hands with the Norse goddess of witchcraft Freya and she cursed Odin to banish him to midgard. He couldn't go back until or unless he'd fulfill the nine human sacrifices, then only the gates of nine realms will reopen and he'd be taken back to Asgard.

What he didn't know was that in order to put the curse the goddess needed a sacrifice from Laufey himself, she needed his most valued possession, he wanted to get rid of Odin so desperately that he chose to sacrifice his own son. Loki.

"You were just a pawn Loki, for him and for me as well, you were born to cause suffering can't you see? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you"

Odin spat at him, you just wanted to get out of the binds and crawl to him, you just wanted to hold him and take him back home but it wasn't possible, you didn't think you both would survive or live to see the next day.

"Lolooo" you mumbled as you whimpered so he looked at you, he didn't care whose son he was, it didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered except you. He tried to get up but his puppets came forward and they started to beat him again, he was getting brutally hurt but he didn't make a sound. However your screams did echo through the den.

"Please stoopp please stop..pleaseee let him go" you kept begging them and James stormed towards you to hurt you.

"Master can we fuck her before she's killed, I want a taste" They both sneered in your direction, their lustful eyes made your skin crawl but you knew you'd allow them to do anything as long as they weren't hurting him

"You both absolutely deserve the reward my children but I'll take her first, it's been a loooongggg time since I have fornicated"

You looked at him shocked, he was evil in his pure form, you knew that with certainty but you were still taken aback as he made his intentions clear.

Loki's fists clenched and he watched Odin take his shirt off, he watched the bastard prey towards you and he knew if he wasn't going to get up and fight for you today then everything that he had ever done in his life for you would end up meaning nothing.

Before Odin could put his fingers on you he was grabbed and turned around furiously then he was punched right in the face, Loki grabbed the man by his hair and threw him around like a rag doll. You always knew that he was strong, not just mentally but physically too. You had never seen another man beat him in fights, he was always the stronger one but you couldn't even comprehend how he had such a strength after being shot and after losing all that blood. Unfortunately he was still outnumbered, Odin called for help so his puppets came forward and attacked Loki again.

They were going to shoot him again because James took the gun out and cocked at his head but before he could pull the trigger and destroy your whole world in a second you heard Thor's voice. He was there. He had found you two. Thank God he was there.

"If you need her alive, you're going to back off my brother" Thor yelled, he had Natasha by his side with his own gun pointed at her temples.

"He's not your brother " Odin yelled at him and for a second you watched Thor's eyes flickering with an emotion you couldn't describe but then he was enraged again.

"He's my brother you bastard..now back off or this whore of yours is going to die"

Odin chuckled as Thor threatened him.

"I cannot believe that you're my own, can't even make an excuse for you"

Natasha saw that Thor was distracted so she elbowed him in the stomach and the gun slipped from his hand, she picked it up immediately and pointed it towards Thor. That's not what you all needed, you were all going to die here and you feared nobody would be able to find what even happened to all of you.

"That's my girl, still as feisty as I remember" Odin walked towards her and hugged her, she smiled as she hugged him back but Odin took the gun from her and then he slapped her hard, it didn't shock you though. He was a psychopath that didn't give a shit about anyone.

"Worthless whore, got caught by that moron, you told him about the place didn't you?" she started to cry as he questioned her.

"None of you possess the quality to live in Asgard, none of you" Clint got offended by Odin's words and Loki used the opportunity to twist the gun away from his own head, you heard the gunshot roaring, your heart almost leaped out of your mouth but you had nothing to worry about, the angle of the gun accidentally shot the other minion James.

The havoc was enough for Thor to charge at Odin and Loki had managed to disarm Clint. You saw them hurting those men the way they had hurt them all these years, you didn't even want justice anymore, you all should have gotten it all those years ago but you didn't. Loki and Thor took turns with Odin and Clint, all that anger and frustration, years worth of pain that they have suffered was enough to keep them going.

You flinched as you heard another bullet firing, Loki had managed to shoot Clint while Thor tackled Odin all by himself, Loki walked towards you to get you out of the binds, he untied your hands and legs as quickly as he could.

"Lokii you're bleeding so much" you cried so he cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

"Hold on for me baby okay, just hold on" he mumbled softly, he was asking you to hold on even though it was his life in danger here..

"Enoughhhh...just stoppp ..enoughhh" you heard Natasha's voice amidst all the commotion and it made you look in her direction, nobody was watching her and she had gotten the chance to grab the gun that Odin had dropped between the fight. Odin smiled and he was about to walk towards her but she shot him, right in the chest, right where the heart should be. Too bad he didn't have any.

She fell down on her knees as Odin collapsed, his lifeless body made you happier than anything else could have at the moment.

"Why did you do that?" Loki asked her, he was confused by her actions.

"I'm done..I'm done with all of you..I just want to go back to my son, it's done. It's over okayyyy? Okayyy?" She screamed her words as she cried profusely.

"I just want to move onn please"

A few minutes later Steve arrived with a bunch of cops as well as the ambulance, you probably would have rejoiced all of their deaths if it wasn't for Loki who was barely alive himself.

"There's a child drugged and tied up deep into the cave, get her out ..pleasee" Loki informed Steve before they laid him down on the stretcher to take him to the hospital.

"Keep talking to me okay..please keep looking at me" you whispered softly as you sat by his side, they were taking him to the nearest hospital but it was still far, Odin had taken you both so far out of the city.

"I love you sweet buttons, you know i love you right? I'll always…love you ..even if I'm not here ..I'll continue to love you" his voice came out so weak but his tone held the tenderness you had felt in the last few months, you cried as you heard him, life was getting better, you both were getting better with each other, especially him, he was finally getting the acceptance he craved all his life but those monsters couldn't let him have it.

"Stop talking like that please..please don't do th…I can't ..I can't do this without you"

"You can baby, you're the strongest girl, my best girl, I'm so proud of you..and I'm so sorry i failed again" you shook your head as he apologized, he was trying to say everything as if this was the last time he was talking to you. Thor started to sob like a child and that made you feel even worse.

"Heyyyy ..you fucking oaf, you're going to take care of her okay? Take care of yourself too while you're at it" he forced a chuckle as he spoke to Thor

"Shutup lokkkkiii, you'll be fine, stop being dramatic" Loki smiled as Thor said that then he turned to look at you again, you had his hand in yours and you felt him squeeze it tightly, as tightly as he could, he was starting to lose consciousness.

"Do the doc..umentary, tell them all about you…and do tell them about us yeah??" He whispered softly

"Please don't talk like that..Lolo please" you placed your head down on his chest and his eyes never stopped dripping.

He thought you were strong but you knew he was the only reason why you were still here, why you were able to move on with your life after your mother died, he was your hope for all those years when you didn't have him because you knew you'd get to see him someday but all of that will be gone if he would die today. Without him you'd never see the world the same way, you'd never see the light that only his presence could bring in your life.

"No matter what happens..it's going to be me and you for life okay? Never forget that, never forget meee sweet..heart"

That was the last thing you heard from him before he shut down completely, his grip on your hand loosened. His heart had finally stopped beating and so did yours, because he had your heart with him. It didn't even belong to you, it never really did. You watched Thor breaking down as the doctor tried to revive him but you couldn't even cry or react to his lifeless body, you felt numb.

He had your heart, he took it so you didn't know how you were supposed to go on without your heart. How does one do that?

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist :

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @blog-the-lilly @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @huntress-artemiss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki alternate universe #loki au fics #loki fics #dark themes

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bi-shop · 1 year

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I wish the community acknowledge that Penny canonically has bipolar disorder. Like, it's not through word of god or implied, it's an actual detail.

I'll be going into full detail on why it matters. Legoland spoilers under the cut!

To make things clear, it's alright if you only learned about Legoland through its summary or heard it from other people, or you don't follow Legoland at all and have your own interpretation of Penny. I just want you to know that if you're going to write the Sad, Soggy Creature that is Legoland Penny Lamb, her having bipolar disorder should be taken into account.

It matters because I see Ezra's ADHD being acknowledged and accepted; which makes things a little bit iffy when I don't see the same acknowledgement for Penny's bipolar. When I see discussion of her being neurodivergent, I never saw anyone say that she's bipolar.

Now, I'm not accusing anyone of bipolar erasure. I don't blame you if you didn't know, or forgot! It's a small detail that's dropped in an almost 9k word book, and is never brought up again.

But that's why I'm making this post. Not only because that there's representation of a stigmatized disorder, but because it's important to understanding Penny as a character. It's the small bit of logic that helps tie the chaos of Legoland together. It contextualizes her actions and behavior.

I don't have bipolar, so I cannot judge the justification of the representation. What I can say though is that Penny's not depicted as erratic, violent troublemaker. She's a lonely, struggling high schooler that attracts the trouble, not cause them. Especially that she's only hostile when provoked. And the only time she actually harmed someone? She regretted it.

Which says a lot since this script was written around 2004-2006; not exactly a good time when it comes to mental health representation.

To set the foundation, let's talk a bit about bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows. There's several types of bipolar disorder but for brevity we'll elaborate on the first two types: Bipolar I and Bipolar II.

Bipolar I is characterized by manic and depressive episodes, and Bipolar II is characterized by hypomanic and depressive episodes.

What makes hypomania different from mania is that it's milder. It doesn't mean Bipolar II is the 'milder version of bipolar' across the board—since depressive episodes are commonly reported to be worse in II—it just means they don't get psychotic symptoms or be hospitalized.

Mania is bad. That's all I can say, it's just bad. Yes, you feel euphoric and on top of the world, but you'll be more impulsive, irritable, and have racing thoughts. There's a lot more to it, but generally, bipolar disorder is called a disorder for a reason.

So how does this apply to Penny? Well, she experiences mania, not hypomania, so I'm going to say that she experiences Bipolar I.

In fact, I could go ahead and say that the entire Johnny Moon thing was a manic episode in and of itself. Even before the JK-47 trip, Penny experienced mania after finding out about SevenUp.

So let's go through the symptoms one by one:

Decreased need for sleep

The last one is included, not just because she couldn't sleep when she needed to take a nap, but because they really went on the trip for 7 days, which is what manic episodes at least take.

Elevated or expansive mood

Penny experiences the euphoric feeling that is common in mania, having heightened energy and being intensely excited. Especially that she would come out of a depressive episode before ramming into a manic one.

Let's also not forget that she wrote a letter to Johnny 3,567 times.

Irritability, hostility, or aggression

I don't know what happened here either.

Impulsive risk behaviors

Dropped everything to go to another country just to talk to someone.

It's worth to mention that she did drug trafficking, which was what sent her to probation.

Talking excessively

This entire monologue showcases other symptoms of mania, like racing thoughts (she went through six different topics after mentioning Uranium), pressured speech (she talked fast), and being easily distracted (Penny darling I'm sorry but your speech was not coherent in the slightest)

The symptoms Grandiosity and Delusions are up in the air, mostly cause I'm not sure if the only example I have for the two counts. I think it's delusional to try to change a celebrity by talking to them, and calling herself Johnny's 'greatest fan', but that's it. I'm sure Penny experiences those two to a degree.

Alright, Penny experiences mania. So let's go to the other side of the spectrum; does she experience depressive episodes?

While there's not a lot of explicit information, there are stuff that alludes to her experiencing depressive episodes. She said she felt 'half-dead' for a year after receiving Johnny's letter, which screams 'depression' to me.

Also there's this entire block.

It's important to note that she was taking Paxil, which has potential negative side-effects for people with bipolar including increased suicidality in teens. Not the best medication for her disorder. (It does take trial and error for people with bipolar to find the correct medication.)

It's wonderful because Penny's episodes are actually episodes, it's not the terrible inaccurate depiction of bipolar as being just 'mood swings'. She goes through a manic and depressive episode for more than a day.

Besides, her mania isn't just 'happy' or just having high energy. It changes her judgement, activity and everything, which is important to represent in characters with bipolar disorder as people will have this simplified notion of thinking bipolar is just 'feeling happy then sad then happy again'.

So, our darling canonically has bipolar disorder that is kind of a bit glossed over in the community and is never brought up. So, what's next?

Well, I want to see people making Penny both bipolar and autistic. I want to see stories or headcanons of the choir trying to help with her manic or depressive episodes. I want to see a story of Jane following along with the intoxicating feeling of manic euphoria before finding out that she's feeling more irritable and overwhelmed. I want to see her get therapy and correct medication, goddamnit.

Other than how it's a goldmine of unexplored fancontent that should be dug up, it's also representation for a stigmatized disorder.

#suicide mention #tw suicide mention #ride the cyclone #legoland #penny lamb legoland #penny lamb #penny rtc #rtc #like come on imagine jane having a manic episode #the choir seeing her being more excited and talkative and thinking 'wow maybe she's finally coping with the despair of being forgotten'#before finding her trying to touch a bonfire

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anouri · 2 years

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it starts with bloodshed, always bloodshed, always the same running from something larger than yourself story

giovanni gasparro // roberto ferri // richard siken

#web weaving #roberto ferri #giovanni gasparro #sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it were mine #violent feelings are good so i have heard for your health #what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?#love as consumption #love as violence #doomed love #mine #hands #tw: blood #tw: violence #tw: injury

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nickynop · 2 months

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(Tw: mental health, blades, just in general violent stuff)

The escape. (Codependent pt 7)

'This will work. It just has to work.' you thought to yourself. You were sat back waiting for the usual sounds of the guards. Internal clock telling you it wouldn't be long before they showed up. Anticipation rolling around in your body, making your skin crawl. Adrenaline was fighting to take over, it wasn't clear if you wanted to throw up or run laps.

Long laps, like the laps you used to do around the dauntless facility. It hurts, you'd give anything to be there right now, exhausting yourself with running, waving at your friends/coworkers.

'Please, please work.'

You just had to get home, even death didn't feel like an actual option. It was such a need that swelled around your chest. Fingers starting to tap on the ground to try and release some of the energy.

"Hey" you heard the word but for some reason your brain didn't focus on it. "Hey y/n... You need calm down." It came from a quiet but gruff voice, and this time it snapped you out of your head. You flicked your eyes up, looking over to Eric who just stared back "If they see you all jittery they're gonna be suspicious." he said, voice going lower and softer. "Take a breath." He was right, of course. It took a bit to reply but eventually you managed to choke out a "Right.". It felt like you were chewing on the word with the struggle you had forcing it past the lump in your throat.

You spent the rest of that time trying to calm your breathing and anxious stomach. You thought you started doing pretty good until you heard the door unlock and start to open. Your hands clenched, all the feelings rushing back, all you could do was try and mask it. Keeping the rest of your body loose and tired looking. Both of you were slumped against the wall. Eric pretended that their entering had woke him up.

He must of done an okay job, they didn't look twice at either of you. Just came over and started picking you both up to drag you away.

Once they started actually moving you, your heart leapt and you gave one last subtle look at Eric. Hoping he could hear your thoughts of the wishes-no, prayers of good luck. His eyes were borderline unreadable, he just looked at you like maybe it was the last time. And maybe it was.

Your head spun the entire way to your room. Making sure it had the plan clearly set up and that you would be able to do every step. You didn't even really register when you entered the room, not realizing you were there until you felt your legs getting restrained.

The reality that it was time started hitting you. 'fuck this is it' 'it's all up to this day' were the thoughts that poured through your head, just a bit longer then you would be ready to unleash hell. Fighting to keep your breathing easy as you tried to subtly look around, looking for anything you could use to aid your escape and hell making. There were plenty of big objects but not a lot that you could see getting your hands on for your initial release.

Attention snapped to your side as the doctor rolled over a tray over next to you. It had a lot of scary sharp things on it. The fuck was his plan for you today? You pondered it for a moment, having all the worst images enter your brain before again deciding you couldn't stay to find out.

Looking at the things in the tray you decided needed one, but how to get it? I mean your hands weren't tied up yet, sure. But those big guys are still in here to see you if you make a hasty grab at it. You'd have to be really sneaky, and patient. Which proved difficult. Time felt so slow waiting for any possible window allowing you to grab anything.

It was an anxious agony trying to stay calm. There were a few times your brain yelled 'Now!' but immediately followed by a 'no, no wait, not yet'. This repeated for awhile until you noticed a true opportunity present itself.

The doctor was currently working on getting a bunch of syringes filled with unidentifiable liquids. And the guards were taking their attention away from you, whispering to each other. Was this the moment? Fuck you had to be quick if it is. You watched as the two men turned around, checking some sheets on the door while still whispering. Their own distraction from you only lasted a few seconds, but it was long enough. You reached your hand out and grabbed something that looked like a small saw, bringing it back and tucking it under your thigh by where your hands are usually restrained. By the time they turned around you looked like you had a few seconds ago.

And to your relief they didn't even question it. The doctor slid his other tray over, none the wiser. He grabbed your forearm, lifting it to start putting I.V.'s in. Not letting them run yet, just getting them in place. As usual he was rough.

As soon as he got them where he wanted he looked at the men "I'm ready for their arms to be restrained" the men nodded, walking over instantly to do so. As usual they had your hands at your thighs, right next to where you put your little tool. Thank God.

Once they were done the doctor dismissed them. And they nodded at him before turning to leave the room. 'Back to Eric now" you thought to yourself. Counting on their routine to be the same.

And it was. As usual they left quickly, and once they were gone the doctor started speaking "I've got a special treatment for you day. One I've been itching to try." his voice was horrid. Slick with malicious intent. It pissed you off. He turned around again, getting something on his computer turned on, mumbling to himself. You took this moment to slide your fingers under your thigh, pulling out the very tiny saw and pointing it up towards you. Slipping it in-between your straps and actual skin.

Quietly but quickly you started moving it. Trying to make quick work of the material.

When he turned back to you, you slowed. Not stopping but trying to make sure the movement didn't catch his eye. He strode back over. Looking over his syringes. Probably trying to decide which one he wanted first.

You were starting to break out in a sweat, gently pulling the arm that was trying to free itself, putting pressure against the now weak attachment it had. He finally put down his hand and picked one up.

That was the moment. As quick and as chaotic as the day they took you. Your hand holding the saw broke free, swinging up.

His head shot towards you but before he could do anything you slammed the saw down onto his shoulder. Pulling back to it cut through clothes and flesh.

A scream rang out from him as he stumbled back a bit, half out of shock and half out of pain. You took those moments to bring the saw down to your other restrained wrist and legs quickly cut it free. It was easy when you had the entire strength of an arm to push through them. Quickly removing the I.Vs you hopped up, turning your attention back to him just in time to see him start to charge you, you didn't need to see his eyes to tell he was fucking pissed.

Yelling back, you also started charging. When he got close enough to swipe at you, you easily swayed back, years of being dauntless still keeping you quick. You then leapt forward, kicking him in his chest. He stumbled back more, exposing all the important parts of his body. You took that moment to lean forward again, delivering a swift punch to the throat. He may be the enemy but it's clear he definitely doesn't have any sort of combat training. He immediately bent over, coughing and grabbing his throat. He was gonna be the easiest part of all this. Heart pounding in your chest and ears, you then reached down, grabbing his head roughly and slamming it into the table next to you. The adrenaline was definitely working, you felt strong and got proof of the fact you were when his body fell to the floor, limp. You stood over him for a few seconds, waiting for any sign of movement. There was nothing.

He was out cold. And now you needed to move to the next part of the plan and get those guys to leave Eric's room and come back to yours. Standing back, body shaking, you turned your head till you see the very obvious alarm button. Stammering forward, you lifted your arm and slammed your elbow into the glass till it broke so you could hit the alarm. A few seconds after hitting it, a horrid alarm sound started blaring, accompanied by a flashing red like through the room.

You knew there had to be those guards on their way back. Which means the first part of the plan had worked. This knowledge seeped into you. As it did, a wave washed over you. It took you from feeling like you were shaky and gonna hurl, to nothing. You didn't feel scared or mad, not even happy. You just felt focused. Ready for this to be over.

You let out a smooth breath and headed over to the syringe tray. Picking up two syringes, one that looked like the stuff they made you feel like you caught on fire and the other was a mystery. Hopefully it was something that would be helpful to you. Holding them both in one hand, you hurried to the other side of the room. There was the big stuff you had seen earlier, you picked up one that seemed to have good weight and sturdiness. No idea what it was but it didn't really matter now.

#eric coulter x reader #eric divergent #eric coulter #divergent x reader

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straighttohellbuddy · 2 years

Text

the red means i love you {c!Technoblade}

Summary: Yandere!Technoblade. Fake gods are worshiped with wine and flowers; real gods require blood.

Need to Know: They/Them. Yandere!Technoblade / Enabler!Reader. established relationship. DARKFIC & LIGHT SMUT PLEASE READ WARNINGS VERY CAREFULLY !!

A/N: 2755 words. hey holy shit read the warnings i mean it. this really isn't for everyone. but anyways i started this months ago lol and it makes me feel some type of way. probably OOC as all fuck. if you do end up reading this, 1. is it coherent? 2. is it any good? :/

Warnings: Romanticisation/Rationalisation of Yandere Behaviour; NON-GRAPHIC SMUT (no genitals specified), GRAPHIC KNIFE-PLAY BLOOD-PLAY AND PAIN-PLAY, SEMI-VIOLENT BODY WORSHIP?? OBJECTIFICATION. Violence. Scarification. Bondage. Mutual Obsession. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Citrus Scale: ❤️ GRAPEFRUIT ❤️

{ yandere!dsmp masterpost }

He gets antsy in isolation; the voices are hungry, and fresh bruises will never compare to cherry-red blood on the snow, on his hands, like wine the way you'd seen him savour it before the regret flashes across his face. Blood for the Blood God cheered like the fleeting high was worth the exhaustion the whole ordeal brought with it. You'd seen it time and again; violence simply for violence sake was tiring. It's been a long time since he'd felt like killing for anything or anyone that wasn't you, and since you're by his side in the tundra, there was little reason for him to jump to violence, or at least, violence you didn't relish in.

Because you basked in reminders of his power, finesse, how easily he could wreak devastation, and there was something thrilling about when he turned those skills upon you, knowing he loved you too much to break you beyond repair. But there was also something intoxicating when he almost would, when he'd spend days lavishing praise upon you as he cared for you, tended to the wounds he'd inflicted, nursed you back to health.

In the split second after he'd land a hit while sparring, and he's breathing heavy, eyes wild, and the pain hasn't hit you yet, you see the way his eyes light up. This time it had been a deep gash in your cheek, which had genuinely startled you, and he turns immediately, apologising, saying he lost himself in the moment.

"Don't worry about me," you tell him as he takes your face in his hands, the contact stinging as blood begins to seep from the wounds, "you wouldn't kill me," you assured him, and it's as if he needed to hear the words out loud to believe them, his gaze softening, your hands resting on his hips, "and if you did, we both know you would have your reasons."

"You're so..." but he can't even finish the compliment, syrupy affection in his eyes as he looks at you, still holds your face. He can't find the words in this moment, cant say what you know he's thinking, 'you bleed for me' but you can still hear it. His gaze is endearing as he looks at his own hand on your cheek, before holding it up in the sunlight, your blood shiny and slick on his fingers.

You take his hand in yours, love unspoken but well heard as you softly kiss his knuckles. Carefully, you bring his hand back to your cheek, the stinging wound and the warm, red proof that you were alive. When you pull him in for a kiss, he's holding your face tighter this time, the pressure searing beneath his touch as you kiss him; the tense set of his shoulders had eased, however, and to you, that's all that mattered.

The moment, he tells you later, soothed the voices, at least for the time being. You, stretched out next to him in bed, carefully applying bandaids and ice packs to your more recent training wounds, make a noise of interest.

"I don't like hurting you like that," he admits, voice low, sounding almost remorseful. Instinctively you turn your attention from your bandage application, to him, curling an arm over his chest, resting your chin on his shoulder.

"Like what?" Because he's not one for admitting remorse, especially not about something like this; you've got well cared for scars to the contrary.

"Like in a way we haven't discussed," it takes him a long moment to find the words, but you know its still not entirely the truth; as if your awareness of the altercation was crucial to his enjoyment of it. He got caught up like this a lot, when injuries were accidents. The problem was that it wasn't his intention, it wasn't premeditated; you never minded the lack of warning, he'd had your complete trust for as long as he'd had your heart. You knew what he was capable of, but that he loved you, that's why you trusted him. He, however, knew what he was capable of, and loved you, which is why accidents scared him half to death.

"But it felt good, didn't it? Better than usual," as you say that, he looks to you, sharp and calculating, gaze focused on the patching job he'd done on your cheek earlier, "do you want that? The blood?"

"I don't need it," he says softly, kissing your nose, "I like what we have, I like training with you, you don't-"

"But do you want it?" You ask, reaching up to touch his cheek, your fingertips feather light as you trace where the scar would be on him, and his eyes close for a moment. He leans into your touch.

"The things I crave," he begins, before amending with the faintest smile, "the things other than you, don't matter out here; I'm keeping us safe. The violence for the sake of blood, it's exhausting to keep searching for," he groaned faintly, before adding, "and dangerous," his gaze slides to you, and you know he's not concerned about himself. You, however, held his face for a long moment.

"And what of blood without violence?" You ask softly; he goes very still, breath caught alongside the thought, "Blood for the Blood God," When you lower your hand to his chest, his eyes open. Dark and thoughtful, there's hesitation there, confusion almost.

"You don't know what you're offering," his tone is like ice water, a shock to your system with how cold it is. There's no warning when he sits up, out of your embrace, leaving you cold and confused, "I'm trying to keep you safe." Accusatory, as if you're in the wrong, as if you should know better.

He leaves before you've even formulated a response, tense and seemingly furious and you have no idea how or why the situation changed so dramatically. It's always hard to try and sleep alone nowadays, but you don't have much of a choice.

Techno comes home still wreathed in the heat and horrible sufler smell of the Nether, sweet words on his lips as he curls into bed beside you. None of them are an actual apology, but he's got a talented hand between your thighs as he tells you he loves you, and it's enough to ease your fretting, half asleep mind for the time being.

It seems safer to leave that topic well enough alone for the time being, but it doesn't leave your mind. The thoughts that begin to haunt you encroach on every part of your life. Intrusive, idle chatter starts up when you're training and the sun glances off his blade and catches your gaze, and won't shut up as you're preparing dinner together, and the chatter roars with approval whenever you so much as get a paper cut. Perhaps this is what it's like to experience the voices that clamour for blood and violence in your love's head, though more and more you're sure it's your mind's way of encouraging you, because there are moments where Techno looks at you, eyes dark with a barely concealed desperation, and all thoughts in your mind go silent.

"Don't look at me like that if you're not going to do anything about it," you teased, catching him in one of those dark, thoughtful moments he was becoming increasingly prone to. Techno, however, is pointedly quiet, averting his gaze, light from the fire making him seem somehow even more dramatic, "you've been trapped in there a lot lately," settling yourself on the sofa beside him, you curl up by him, cheek against his shoulder.

Still, he remains quiet.

The crackle of the fire fills the otherwise silent room, though Techno shifts to wrap his arm around you, pulling you a little closer. You feel when he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

"Wish I could be trapped in here," he mumbles against you, drawing circles on your shoulder with his finger, "figure out how you live like you don't feel fear."

"I have you," you respond with absolute, blunt sincerity.

"What?" It sounds as if he genuinely didn't expect your response.

"I have you," it comes out a murmur, angling your face to his, nose to nose as your gaze locks with his, "why would I ever feel afraid." His pupils are blown so wide with want that you're half afraid you'll get lost in them. He must feel the erratic beating of your heart, must know the thrill you feel in this moment -

"You should fear what I want to do to you when you say things like that," his voice is low and you feel like you could melt at the implications, which was probably not his intention, but you didn't care.

"And yet you don't even do anything," you sighed languidly, eyelashes fluttering as you find your gaze dropping to his lips, "what a tease -" but then there's two fingers in your mouth, effectively shutting you up.

"And if I tore you apart, would that make you happy?" He practically snarls, but you angle your head to make sure he can see the dreamy look in your eyes. After a few moments of intensity, he moves his hand from your jaw, your mouth, to grip your thigh, to pull you closer.

"Is it what you want?" You feel elated, all kinds of heady and fire-warm. This is the precipice, the moment where he yet again understands you truly mean you'd do anything for him, and his hesitation will evaporate -

"More than anything," he admits, as if his honesty had left him breathless, and he kisses you hard before you have time to think. Pulling you into his lap, he takes the opportunity to fist his hand in your hair. When he pulls hard, it's the first of many wonderfully aching, stinging, bruising moments of the night.

And you learn that there is no blood without violence, not for the Blood God...

There's a sharp pain the moment the blade first breaches your skin, metal along your sternum cool before the pain brings with it heat. You try to bite back your yelp, but can't quite manage it. You've been cut before but never so deliberately, not by someone who looks at you like Techno does now. Techno, sitting carefully on your thighs, doesn't seem to acknowledge it; he drags the blade down the centre of your chest with an almost agonising unwaivability, tears springing to your eyes, trying not to squirm, to make the pain worse.

"Techno," you whimper, his name escaping you almost involuntarily, nervously tugging at your wrist bindings above your head. There's something dark and strangely detached in Techno's gaze as he meets yours.

"I'm okay," you murmur unconvincingly, "I- it hurts more than I thought it would is all, I'm sorry I'm-" though for all your babbling you don't even consider asking him to stop. He presses the flat side of the blade to your ribs and reaches out with his free hand to carefully wipe away your tears.

"You're so good," there's something hungry in his eyes, "so good to me... beautiful like this." And something clicks in your brain; you'd do anything to keep him talking to you like that, looking at you like that.

"More- please, again," you choke out, a desperate gasp as pain and pleasure weave together in your mind. Something about the way you've already begun to beg has his breath catching in his throat, an animalistic noise escaping him. Already his self restraint is all but shredded; before you knew he'd hesitate, or check in with you, but now -

"More what?" A demand for an answer. The blade is ice cold and feather light against your skin.

"Blood, please," stutters from your lips as you try to lean up to kiss him. Instead, he keeps one hand firm on your shoulder against the table, wearing a pleased smile as he instead dips to keys you, "my love, make me bleed."

He seems to derive pleasure from the way you whimper against his lips, your faint noises of pain as he carefully carves into the skin of your sternum while kissing you. It's starting small, he tells you, at least for now, having left a simple geometric pattern on your sternum that he admires as he fucks you. He lavishes you with praise, works hard to get you off but leaves you a bloody mess until well after the afterglow has faded.

When he tells you it will leave a beautiful scar, something inside you lights up with joy, with love.

"I can take more, I -" already you're babbling, offering. He hasn't untied you; the ache of your bound wrists is comfortingly familiar as you allow yourself to be taken care of.

"Don't," Technoblade warns you firmly, looking up from where he's cleaning and dressing the wounds. Even so, he seems calmer and steadier than he's been in a long while, as if granted a brief moment of mental peace after what had just occurred.

"You keep offering something very dangerous, but maybe your naivete is part of why I find you so precious," he pauses for a long moment before leaning in to press a kiss to the edge of the bloody pattern he was responsible for. A thin line of your blood shines by the corner of his mouth as he pulls back and smirks up at you. You're desperate to kiss him, but you knew it would interrupt his care, and you'd probably remain restrained past the point of it being enjoyable.

"Did it help?"

He is quiet for a long moment after your question. Finally, he spoke.

"How much did it hurt?"

"What?"

"Tell me how much it hurt," there was an unexpected dark edge to his voice now, something pleased and almost smug. He's holding bandages but his hands have stilled, "when you begged me to carve into you like that," it's that hunger again, the same you'd seen the moment you'd winced and gasped and squirmed once he'd finally put the blade down in favour of admiring his work, now free hand between your thighs.

Now he's just... admiring you, bound, marked, still comfortable at his mercy. Looking at the angry red lines in your skin, he can see the blood slowly seeping from them, his personal form of art. Carefully, you wet your lips, shifting the barest amount against the still bloodstained linens.

"It was awful," you murmur honestly, "it still is kind of unbearable, more than I expected." He blinks slowly, hands still hovering inches away from your torso. He hears it, you know he hears it, the way you speak so carefully about the pain without a hint of negativity. He's a sudden rush of movement, kissing you with newfound intensity, one hand coming to cup your face while the other he presses flat against the still fresh wound.

"I could kill you, you silly, porcelain thing," he groans, as if turned on by the very idea he's warning you about.

"Could you?" A breathless, wanton gasp escapes you, and it turns to a pained whimper as he presses against the wounds more insistently, which he echoes with a pleased noise of his own, "please, I need you to -"

For the first time in a long time the voices seem sated. They've had their fill of violence, of blood, of you, they're practically sick with how they've gorged themselves on all you've offered for them. But Techno himself? He loves to know just how much it hurts, and loves to make you beg for it nonetheless. He loves knowing how far you'll let him go, how much you'll endure and still ask for more. He loves the proof of your devotion. He will never get enough.

And you?

You want to wear the scars like the proof of your love for him, with pride. You now understand and appreciate the pain he's inflicted on others in your honour. You relish in knowing you can satisfy all he craves in a way that no-one else ever would.

But mostly, you crave those moments, the bloody handprints he leaves on your thighs, the gentle way he caresses the ice cold blade against your skin, and the look in his eyes as you whimper, like you're the only thing in the world that has ever mattered.

#technoblade x reader #technoblade imagine #techno x reader #techno imagine #c!technoblade x reader #c!techno x reader #c!technoblade imagine #c!techno imagine #yandere technoblade #yandere c!technoblade #yandere techno #yandere smut #yandere c!techno #cyltlanp #Spotify

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megnificent-reads · 3 months

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A Court of Wings and Ruin - Christ alive/5 ☆

Warning - this review is 1.2k words, and 98% negative. If you love SJM and the ACOTAR series, love that for you /gen. However, for your own mental health, I genuinely would not recommend you read this. For everyone else, and those who hate-read, Let's begin!

~~~

Okay, so I actually rated this 2 stars on Goodreads because I didn’t hate it the whole time but, I’m mad about it so it gets a special rating. ♡

I honestly lament when I was excited to read this book. Being what I refer to as a Lucien Lover (nuanced), I enjoyed a good bit of the beginning of this book. That’s not to say I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of the first 100 pages of this book.

So we start with Feyre in the throes of rage, becoming a master manipulator. Now, before I put just a minute or two of thought into it, I loved it. I love a girl tearing shit apart and using intellegence as a form of strength. However…

Anybody think she was doing a little too much…?

Like, okay, Tamlin fucked up. Big time. I will admit justice is needed! Love when women take back power! But not only dismantling his entire country but turning everyone against him for things that he actually did not do? Crazy! He sucks! But people still live in that country. We still need order! His life is ruined now and I don’t necessarily think all that was necessary.

Tamlin sidebar: “my father and my father’s father did the Tithe, so I’m going to do it.” Didn’t you acknowledge two books ago that your father sucks absolute ass? What fucking sense does that make? How in the first book was he the Perfect Moral Man that now can’t see the very evident immorality in the shit you’re doing. Anywhoozers.

So, Feyre has her cool girl moments and returns to the Night Court. In book one, I was bored out of my mind until we arrived in Rhys-land. (Good one). This time, it was like the moment we arrived here the magic was lost. I was no longer excited to read. And honestly, I think the big issue was actually our beloved bat-boy, Rhysand.

I don’t know her personally, so this is not an attack on her character, but I’m starting to feel like SJM writes Rhysand based off of her fantasy version of what a man is like. Dominating, but soft and loving. Perfectly moral. Capable of evil, deplorable things, but too loving of people and their dreams to be that way. I’m going to be referring to it as PMS (Perfect Man Syndrome).

Many of her men (sorry, males) are unfortunate PMS victims, but Rhysand is by far the worst. I wish I had underlined it when I was reading so I could cite it, but there’s just something about his actions. He is PMSing so hard that he doesn’t develop at all. He was old enough to be grown during the faerie-UK version of the Amercian Civil War where of course he was anti-slavery the entire time despite being raised by people who appeared to be violent racists. Good for our educated king. He also, of course, runs a sanctuary for abused women.

Of course, I’m not saying that being anti-slavery and supporting abused women is bad. I love it. But like… be real with me here. I know that this is fictional. It’s not real. We can be happy here. But can I have some dimension, please? This man is the personality version of Flat Stanley. We had two conflicts between them since they got together and both were resolved by Rhys nearly getting on his knees and saying everything is his fault and he’s so sorry. The first conflict was just her thinking she stepped out of her Womenly Line and him not even knowing there was an issue.

He’s just so. Fucking. Boring.

Moving on. ♡.

Let’s talk about what makes me so goddamn angry about this book. I’ve seen complaints about SJM where other people are saying that other people call her books feminist literature. I personally have never heard anybody say that, but if I did, I don’t know if I would be able to control the rant that would ensue.

I’m willing to have a civilized conversation, but I don’t remember Feyre actually doing anything. Yes, SJM puts her women in positions of power. Do they use said power? Maybe once or twice.

Amren is an ex-god with powers above any character we’ve met so far. We see it used I think once. The rest of the time is spent talking about her power and her holding down the fort at Velaris while everyone else is off to war.

Morrigan - also very powerful (described only). I remember her power being “truth” and never elaborating on that. She is a known soldier, that doesn’t fight.

During the two huge battles, Feyre, Nesta, and Morrigan are on the ground while Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are in the air fighting. After the first battle, Feyre is seen tending to her beloved mate’s wounds, Nesta is fetching water for Cassian, and Morrigan is getting mad at Nesta for wanting to fuck Cassian. So strong of all of them.

Azriel is there doing… nothing. Which he has a habit of doing. Speaking of habits, SJM will create characters that I like because I’m excited to see how they will grow and develop.

She then proceeds to do nothing with them.

I know more books are coming, as they will with SJM until the end of time, but it’s starting to drag. I love Elain. Well, I love what Elain could be. She’s a seemingly fragile, docile character. With her Seer powers, I was excited to see her notice the world around her sucks and develop into somone capable of holding their own. Instead, she uses her powers to relay some cryptic messages that no one heeds or even tries to, then she “snaps out of it” and can’t really do anything else.

Azriel has a tragic backstory and seemingly a big story to tell. God, I wish I could ever fucking hear it.

This is getting exceptionally long, but I remembered I had a list of things I wanted from ACOWAR and didn’t receive, so I’ll pick one more thing off.

The Ouroboros. Out of all symbols, the Ouroboros is my favorite. Cycles and inevitability and all that. We spend a good chunk of this book leading up to Feyre retrieving this. It drives everyone mad. Only the strongest can look in it and survive. I was so excited to see what she saw! What the battle with herself would be like! How does she overcome it?

I guess we’ll never know.

She ended up seeing… herself? I guess she wasn’t previously aware of her flaws and then simply accepted them. Would love to have seen it!

And to finally end this review, I think the Ouroboros is a good symbol of every issue I have with this book. There’s so much build up and excitement that ultimately leads nearly no explanation. It’s like there’s ideas and concepts but then no idea how to execute them.

I won’t be reading ACOFAS or ACOSF or anything else. I already didn’t want to, then I found out about the pregnancy thing and. Yeah. I think I’m good off that.

#books #book review #acowar #acowar spoilers #acotar spoilers #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #bookblr

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hard-boiled-criminal · 3 months

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Brimstone from the Throat

Chapter 2 - Baldur's Isekai

< Ch 1 | Ch 3 >

Masterlist

Ao3 Mirror

Pliiing…pling-pling-pliNG-pLING-PLING. The rising notes of a plucked violin could be heard in the otherwise silent room as you sat there, steadily tuning your violin. Bing-bong-bong-bing. You smiled in satisfaction at the sound of the four perfectly tuned strings, softly humming after being plucked one final time. And then you purposefully altered your e-string, tuning it to be an e-flat instead. You’d always loved the solo in Danse Macabre with how the violin was purposefully out of tune to create that haunting tritone, the diabolus of music.

You pulled up the song on your phone as you stood up and let it begin to play as you readied your violin on your shoulder, bow in hand. You took a deep breath and put your bow to the strings, playing along with the music. You swayed along to your playing, letting the natural movement aid in your pushes and pulls with the bow.

You played the final note and stood there, relishing in the aftermath of a piece well-played. With a satisfied grin you gently moved the violin off your shoulder.

«That was lovely.»

You startled, hearing a disembodied masculine voice in your head, instinctively tightening your grip on your violin, afraid of dropping it.

“…Thank you? I suppose?”

Your eyes darted around the room, understandably confused and a bit freaked out at the situation.

«Ah, yes, one should introduce themselves when first meeting an other,» the voice, low and smooth, spoke in dulcet tones. «Thou mayst calleth this one Astaroth. A pleasure to make thine acquaintance.»

‘Astaroth? I feel like I’ve heard that name before…’ you thought to yourself.

«Yes, there is a chance thou hast heard of mine name before,» the voice responded to your thoughts. «If thou art willing, there is a request I wouldst ask of thee.»

“Wait, wait a minute,” you backpedaled. “Look, buddy, I have no idea what’s going on. Am I going crazy? I must be. I’m hearing a voice in my head and talking to myself.” You laughed to yourself. “Ok, (y/n), no more late-night horror for you—you know it always gives you nightmares, and now they’ve started seeping into the land of the living.”

«I assure thee, thou art of good health, thy mind included,» they spoke again, further dashing your hope of there being a sane explanation for this. «I only ask of thee to first hear mine plea.»

“…Fuck it, whatever. Go ahead.” You sat down, violin hugged tight to your chest. You must be dreaming, so you might as well let it play out.

A sigh of slight disappointment, though not malicious, came from the voice, «‘Twould seem thou still hast thy doubts, yet I thank thee all the same,» a pause and then they speak again, «I am knownst as Astaroth, a demon lord of the Abyss. I have cometh to thee in search of aid for thou hast magickal potential untapped and untampered with, and thou hast not been influenced by an other entity.»

“Okay, maou stuff, classic anime, gotcha,” you nodded, playing along with whatever dream scenario your subconscious mind has come up with.

«I knoweth not what thou speakest of, but mineself senseths no hostility, so I shall taketh thy words as positive.»

“Cool. So, what didja wanna ask me?”

«I require’st thine aid in—Zshaa!» They interrupted themselves mid-sentence with a surprised and desperate shout, a sound reminiscent to the violent crash of a wave.

The air in front of you rippled and you froze, a scream stuck in your throat as the space in front of you tore to reveal a black void.

«Quick—!» The voice was barely able to shout out a single syllable before it was abruptly cut off at the same time a giant tentacle emerged from the dimensional rip. You pressed yourself against the back of your chair as it shot towards you before everything went dark.

…

You awoke to the feeling of your mind being pulled at, an unnatural force compelling you to wake. It was a sensation unlike anything you had experienced before. It felt as if your brain got whiplashed while your body held still, with a pinpoint headache forming at the center of your forehead.

‘If this is what it feels like to open your third eye, then I’m never opening it again.’

This was your first thought as you were forced to consciousness, your eyelids flickering open, lacking the usual heaviness felt when being woken up.

‘…why is there a person-sized Cthulhu in front of me?’

Your second thought was about this strange creature in front of you, slate-purple in color with four tentacles in place of a mouth. You watched in morbid curiosity as the Cthulhu raised its four-digit hand and reached out towards you.

‘Is Cthulhu asking for an E.T. moment? Well, far be it from me to deny him.’

You tried to raise your hand, but found it trapped underneath something. Attempting to look down and see what held your hand hostage was met with failure as your head was suddenly snapped back up to face the creature head on. You started to look around in a bit of a panic, not understanding why your body was being pulled around. That panic increased tenfold as you watched the Cthulhu hold up a fleshy, leech-like creature and slowly bring it towards your face with its other hand. You tried to back up against the odd-textured surface behind you—solid in some places and squishy in others.

You tried to close your eyes, but they wouldn’t listen to you. They were being held open as the leech came closer, closing in on your eye. You could see it clearly: tentacles sprouting from its lips, serrated teeth forming a circle within its mouth, a high-pitched screech growing louder as it came nearer. You couldn’t tell if the screech was from it or if it was your own. Frozen in place, you could only watch as it leapt forward, grasping your eye.

You can’t recall what happened after that, now finding yourself spread out on the ground, the beginnings of a migraine forming behind your eyes. You sit up slowly, legs bent and splayed to your sides, hand resting on the floor in front of you. You stare ahead blankly, looking but not truly seeing what’s in front of you. You sit there in silence, minutes passing by, all sounds around you muffled to complete unintelligibility.

“…What the fuck,” you shakily whisper, but no one was around to hear it save for you.

Your senses slowly come back to you, letting you begin to process all the stimuli assaulting you. It was warm—hot— sweltering in the dimly lit room. The sound of roaring wind can be heard through the walls, interrupted by rumbling roars and quick, intermittent explosions.

«…ng one? Young one, art thou able to hear mineself?» You hear the warm voice of Astaroth, the only thing that’s at least slightly familiar right now.

“Astaroth?” You weakly ask. “Wha-what’s going on?”

You hear a sigh filled with relief and guilt pass through your mind. «I must apologize to thee, young one,» his voice is low, sad, and filled with utmost remorse. «’Twould appear that mine defenses were lacking, for a nautiloid breached mine channel and hadst used it to taketh thee. Thou art in a realm different from thy home, connected to a material world far removed from thine own.»

“I’m what?” ‘A different realm? A material world? What the fuck is happening?’ You glance over the dark room you find yourself in, trying to discern what exactly happened. You see your violin and bow scattered across the floor, both close enough for you to reach over and grab. You hold your instrument close as Astaroth continues to speak.

«…I am truly sorry, young one. More shall be discussed yet that must wait for a later time. I senseth the approach of three beings whose intentions I knoweth not.» He pauses for a brief second before taking on a serious tone, not unlike one of a commander. «Unto thee I swear this: For as long as thou art willing, I shall protect thee until the time hast come when thou returns to thine home. On mine name and on mine honor, I commit to this oath.» His tone then returns to a much softer one, gentler than anything else you’ve heard from him. «’Tis mine own fault thou art in this predicament. I shall aid thee. Thou wilt not be bound to fulfill mine request, though I hope thou shall consider it once there is time laid before us to allow us to speak.»

“I—I still don’t really know what’s going on, but thank you, Astaroth,” you can feel yourself begin to smile, “I’ll put my trust in you.”

You feel a gentle warmth bloom throughout your body, starting at your chest.

«Of course, young one. Now be on thy guard. The three of whomst I hast spoken of have arrived.»

You nod and stand up on mostly steady legs. ‘You can do this. You have a demon lord in your corner, after all.’ You hold your violin by its neck in one hand and hold your bow like a sword in the other. You really don’t want to damage it but if you can poke that squid-face’s eye out with it, then so be it.

Across the room, the sphincter-like portal opens by twisting apart from the center. The motion combined with its design made you want to retch. More light filtered in, enough where you could clearly see the finer details of your surroundings. Three humanoid figures entered, weapons drawn—well, one of them just held their fists up but to each their own. Then, you got a good look at them.

By the gods, they were beautiful. Three gorgeous femme figures: A pale one with dark hair tied in a long braid, one red-haired and green-skinned with black markings, not human but you shouldn’t be surprised after seeing a Cthulhu-type creature earlier, and finally a dark elf—a drow, skin purple and hair white as snow.

Your appreciation is sadly cut short when they point their weapons, or fists, courtesy of the drow, at you. Violin and bow still held tightly, you raise your hands: the universal sign of surrendering, or at least you hope it will translate as such in this different realm. Then the drow speaks. It’s a language unknown to you, its syllables filled with as many consonants as seemingly possible, including sounds you aren’t even sure your mouth can make. You stare, eyes wide open and flickering between the three of them.

“Uhhhhh…”

«Ah, yes, I hadst almost forgotten. This may feeleth a bit strange to thee, but it shall allow for you to understand the tongues of this world and its realms, to an extent,» Astaroth said, though it seemed the people in front of you couldn’t hear his voice, or they at least made no indication of hearing him. You feel a gentle touch to your temples, that same comfortable warmth you felt earlier spreading throughout your head and easing the small migraine to nothingness.

You see the drow open her mouth again before you flinch at a sharp pain in your mind in the same place as the migraine you had just been relieved of. You see flashes of one of those tentacled beings putting a leech in the green one’s eye before floating over to do the same to you. These aren’t your memories. You open your eyes, not realizing you had even closed them, and see the drow clutching her head, wincing in the same way you are.

“Looks like you’re in the same boat as us,” the drow says.

Your eyes widen a bit, amazed that you can understand her. You can still hear her speaking that odd language, but it is almost like it’s being automatically translated in your head.

“First things first, we need to get to the helm to get off this ship,” she continues. “You should join us. We infected should stick together, don’t you think?” She smiles kindly at you.

“Chk! We cannot afford to pick up any more strays, istik!” The green one, sounding very annoyed, directs her gaze to the drow.

“More allies means more firepower, right?” The drow tries to placate her.

“Hmph. This one looks pitiful. If they fall behind we leave them. I have no interest in the weak,” she turns around after spewing some harsh words at you. “We have no time to waste. We must get to the bridge now!”

As the green one starts to walk out of the room, the drow smiles sheepishly at you while the ravenette stares at you, appraising you, with arms crossed.

“Ah, don’t mind Lae’zel,” the drow says, “I’m sure she just stressed. We don’t want to get left behind, so let’s get going, yeah?”

“Oh, uh sure. Yeah,” you clumsily agree and step towards her.

She gives you a confused look but shrugs it off in favor of following the one you now know as Lae’zel. The pale woman eyes you one last time before joining her. You quickly fall into step beside them, the three of you trailing behind Lae’zel.

«Looks like you’re able to understand them now. I’m glad.» Astaroth speaks in what you presume to be his native tongue. His language is beautiful, sounding like softly droning ocean waves. «I’m afraid I was unable to, for a lack of a better term, import the ability to speak these languages into your mind. It is much more difficult to implant such finite muscle memory paired alongside their respective reverse-translation routes.» He hummed in thought, «This will take some time for me to formulate but I will grant you the ability to speak common as soon as possible.»

‘Ok, cool, but a quick question. Why did your speech pattern suddenly change?’ You ask him.

«I’m a bit embarrassed to say this but my knowledge of your language is a bit outdated. How I spoke to you is the most recent knowledge of your language I have,» he explains, sounding a tad sheepish. «If you would allow me to look into your mind, I could begin to compile an updated vernacular.»

‘As long as it doesn’t hurt, then sure, knock yourself out.’

«Thank you. Hopefully this will help quicken my composition process to allow you to speak freely. But for now, I’ve been seeing that drow stealing glances at you.» You turn your head to see and end up meeting the drow’s eyes. «I’ll leave you to speak with your new companion. Fret not, though, I’ll be here should you need me.»

Locking gazes with the drow seemed to be all the permission she needed to strike up a conversation with you. “Well, I think some introductions are in order. As I said before, that’s Lae’zel,” she pointed to the grumpy red-head. “The quiet one is Shadowheart,” she points at the ravenette this time, “and you can call me Tav.” She smiles at you, “and what about you? What’s your name?”

“…(y/n).” It’s just your name, so you shouldn’t need to rely on a translator, right?

“Huh, never heard that one before,” Tav taps her bottom lip once. “I like it! Exotic and pretty!”

“Silence your mindless chatter!” Lae’zel shuts down your introductions. “The bridge is just up ahead.”

Speech key:

«Astaroth»

(“Tadpole talk”)

‘Thoughts’ - can be to self or Astaroth, depending on context

“Spoken aloud”

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#astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #BffT

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