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#vinnie draws death note
milos-journal · 1 year
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The Everyman
Ok, so awhile ago I made a post that was like "What if I made a long rant post on Vinnie Everyman" and that's essentially what this is. Some notes first, I'm sick so unlike the Asher Family post the art for this post is traditional sketches because I've tried hard to do digital, full drawings and it just is not happening no matter how hard I try. This post is also VERY loosely drafted, so it may be a bit ramble-y. One last warning, this will be talking about the canon events of EMH. If you don't want spoilers, are fictionkin/a system/an IRL, or are simply triggered by some of the events/topics discussed and shown in EverymanHYBRID, please be careful reading this post.
Now from there, I can get started!
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Vinnie Everyman feels like a character that is either looked over or deliberately excluded when talking about EverymanHYBRID. Whether it is fandom culture just wanting to mash their favorite characters faces together or it's simply many viewers do not find Vinnie as interesting next to Jeffrey and Alex and their family troubles, Evan struggling with possession, or Steph's long-term struggles as expressed in the tumblr blog CANYOUSEETHEWORDS. Which, both are valid in all honesty. It is fine to not like a character. What this blog post seeks to refute is a claim that seems to consistently circulate around the EMH fandom - that Vinnie is a snake and backstabber.
Which, is partially true, which will be elaborated on a little later. However, Vinnie has all the makings to be a tragic character just like Evan and Jeff, but is often swept under the rug and treated as cruel simply because he did what he thought he needed to survive.
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Vinnie Everyman is viewed best when you take him as you do many protagonists, especially in Slenderverse: A representation and vessel for the viewer. His actions make the most sense when the audience puts themself in his shoes.
Obviously, at surface level, Vinnie is a bad person. He conspires with a demon, leads his friends to death, and seemingly feels no remorse until it is far too little too late. So yes, Vinnie is, by all definitions, a snake. But one must put context into his actions.
Looking back on the series, it should be kept in mind Vinnie is entirely led astray by HABIT. While it is not directly said but rather implied multiple times, one time I would like to note is almost all of the video "Lexi", but especially the part where HABIT highlights Vinnie is the guardian, however that is simply not the case, as seen by what he wrote for the role of guardian.
"THE GUARDIAN SHALL LOSE HIS HEART AND THEN HIS BLOOD AND FIGHT TO LOSE ALL HE LOVES"
"THE GUARDIAN SHALL DEFY A GOD ONLY TO BE DEALT A FATAL BLOW"
These lines paint the Guardian as a martyr like figure who is dealt repeated emotional blows, only to be killed. However, these lines almost wholly fit Jeff plenty more than they do Vinnie. His "heart" can be easily put as Jessa, and his "blood" as Alex, since they are blood relatives. Jeff during the series consistently pushed the viewers to search for answers while he also searched himself, which would be his fight.
However, the role Vinnie better fits, the Voyeur, is cruel in description and a lot more true to Vinnies intentions.
"THE VOYEUR SHALL WATCH FROM AN EMOTIONAL DISTANCE, INSISTING UPON MAINTAINING THEIR STRENGTH."
"THE VOYEUR SHALL REMAIN IDLE TO ALL WHO SEE, HOWEVER BUSY HE MAY BE BENEATH"
"THE VOYEUR SHALL SWALLOW JUSTICE’S SWORD"
HABIT, by telling Vinnie he is the guardian, is not only making Vinnie a trustworthy figure in the viewers eyes but making Vinnie feel like he is the victim. By saying he lost his love and his blood (which could be his found family, or his friends, or simply the amnesia that made him forget his family) he no longer is not a victim. On top of that, he's now framed as a martyr in the situation.
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To circle back, Vinnie is not only manipulated consistently throughout the series, he's also someone the viewer sees themself through.
With the knowledge Vinnie was intensely manipulated by HABIT in many ways, it is understandable to follow his whims. While he almost certainly is not a trustworthy figure from the start, he certainly is a threatening one. The possibility HABIT threatened Vinnie into submission is certainly high, and honestly, given the situation, many people would throw friends under the bus to literally save their life.
As easy as it is to go "Not me!", and the scenario is certainly not a realistic one, what Vinnie goes through is understandable if one thinks of EMH as more allegorical.
Putting HABIT in the position of just an awful person, and Evan as an idealized version of said awful person (an interpretation of EMH I personally subscribe to), the situation is a lot more easy to digest.
Its easy to follow trustable people, and even, in the case of EMH canon, people who hold a position of power, even if the person effected knows its wrong. Given the circumstance Vinnie is manipulated and threatened, its easy to fall into the trap and dig a hole too deep.
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(geddin loser, im reliving horrific trauma)
All in all, Vinnie as a character when analyzed is interesting and well rounded. While he intensely stabbed his friends in the back, the way it was framed for him, the other option was to fall to whatever may have been threatened.
Sorry if I rambled plenty or if none of this made sense, as mentioned earlier I am intensely ill and in between school and such I did not and likely won't have the free time to make this post, so I decided to post this while I can. Thank you for reading this far at all, I appreciate it! :-)
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okay-sky · 1 year
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got tagged in a music tag game by @chamomileteafuel (ty for tagging me! 🥰) so look under the cut for an insight into my shitty music taste lol
tag game rules: shuffle your library, list 10 songs, and tag people
im gonna preface this by saying i dont really listen to music much except for when im driving, and a lot of the times i dont even put music on or have @hajinjin13 pick the tunes, so this will probably be. hmm. quite something!
soldier, poet, kind by vinny marchi (hajin showed me this song and it always makes me think of geralt, jaskier, and ciri? beautiful song)
zydrate anatomy from repo! the genetic opera (oh yeah this one’s good. listened to it on the eternal jukebox for like 18 hours straight to draw a royed comic a few years back, good times)
the fishmonger’s daughter from netflix’s the witcher (don’t look at me all of jaskier’s songs from season 1 of the witcher are so good and so funny, joey batey did such a good job)
we have candy by die antwoord (i saw die antwoord at red rocks from the second row bc my bestie loved them and wanted me to come along, and fell in love with their shit on the drive to colorado)
アルミナ by nightmare (death note opening, weeb confirmation✔)
period by chemistry (fmab opening, further weeb confirmation ✔ ✔)
she’s so nice by pink guy (the pink season album was the soundtrack to my junior year of college and yeah every song sucks but also every song is so funny)
ashes by the longest johns (we love a good sea shanty in this house and the longest johns has some pretty fuckin good a capella sea shanties)
state of the art by gotye (gotye came onto this earth to make a handful of amazing songs and then disappear never to be heard from again and i respect that)
キミの記憶 from persona 3 (the persona soundtracks GO SO HARD and this song is no exception)
i already tagged hajin but also tagging @amaisart, @shly (if you even go here anymore), @anzukero, and @tallphonse
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a-flickering-soul · 3 years
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EverymanHYBRID And Deer In Media: In Five Parts (click for individual comparisons)
Deer are both a symbol of fragile purity and the untamable wild–here, we examine deer in the context of man, where deer come to represent the urge within us to abandon the conscious ego for the subconscious id. The deer is a symbol, too, of rebirth, of transformation, of shedding and regrowing its weapons each year. To kill, to be reborn, to choose to be monstrous through our proximity to humanity. Is there not something pure in surrendering to animal instinct? If deer are the twin themes of innocence and wildness, then we in turn are the juxtaposition of humanity and monstrousness–our actions made monstrous by the attempt to temper them with humanity.
(transcript, analysis, and sources below cut)
1: The Secret History & EverymanHYBRID--Bodies
The Secret History, on the killing of a man in a hallucinatory bacchanal:
"'Henry,' I said at last. 'Good God.' "He raised an eyebrow. 'Really, it was more upsetting than you can realize,' he said. 'Once I hit a deer with my car. It was a beautiful creature and to see it struggling, blood everywhere, legs broken ... And this was even more distressing but at least I thought it was over. I never dreamed we'd hear anything else about it.'"
EverymanHYBRID, "Ryan and the SEVENTRIALSOFHABIT":
A shot of a deer's dead body at the side of the road at night, looking crumpled and not quite right. The captions read: "Jeff: It's a fucking deer, dude. (Evan: See it?) Yeah. Something cut its belly open. (Evan: It cut its belly open the wrong way.)"
Parallels drawn:
Consider this one an amuse-bouche. Henry draws comparisons between a man he killed to a deer he accidentally hit with a car, mildly naming the incident ‘distressing’. There is a lack of human empathy, of guilt over killing a fellow man. In comparison, Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie at this point in the EMH plotline have not yet become hunter or hunted–they have not yet been warped by their roles in this iteration and can acknowledge the upsetting nature of the events that befall them. Henry has tasted that amoral nature and is less human for it, more visibly willing to shed that veneer of attempting to care about other people. Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie have not yet reached that point.
2: “Whoso List to Hunt”, EverymanHYBRID, and The Secret History--The Chase
"Whoso List to Hunt", on hunting a fabled white hind:
"I am of them that farthest cometh behind./ Yet may I by no means my wearied mind/ Draw from the deer, but as she fleeth afore/ Fainting I follow. I leave off therefore,/ Sithens in a net I seek to hold the wind./ Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt,/ As well as I may spend his time in vain. And graven with diamonds in letters plain/ There is written, her fair neck round about:/ Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am,/ and wild to hold, though I seem tame."
EverymanHYBRID, "Slushpops and Surprises”
A shot of white text on a black page, "[Enter the tragic hero and his unattainable companion.]"
The Secret History, on hallucinations experienced during the bacchanal (bold for emphasis):
“‘Camilla said that during part of it, she’d believed she was a deer; and that was odd, too, because the rest of us remember chasing a deer through the woods, for miles it seemed. Actually it was miles. I know that for a fact. Apparently we ran and ran and ran, because when we came to ourselves we had no idea where we were.’”
EverymanHYBRID, “December & early January”:
A shot of Vinnie, hand covering his face in shock, as he sits and listens to Jessa’s last voicemail before she went missing. Jeff can be seen in the background, listening in silence. The captions read “[Jessa’s voice, recorded]: Steph, that thing you were talking about, I saw it...he’s real, he’s right here. What the hell does he want? I think he’s following me.”
Parallels drawn:
The deer symbolizes wild nature, something that man cannot obtain, touch, or capture without abandoning something of his own humanity. Similarly, deer represent the unattainable prey. Noli me tangere, says Caesar’s unattainable deer– touch me not, no matter how hard you may attempt to catch me. Jessa of EMH is deemed the unattainable companion and Jeff’s driving force to discover the truth behind the situation they’ve been placed in–it is Jessa, dangled in front of him after she goes missing, that leads Jeff down the path that inevitably leads to his own death after uncovering too much. The deer is to be chased, to be hunted, and never captured. Camilla from The Secret History believed herself to be a deer during the same hallucinatory bacchanal that cost a man his life, and led her brother and friends on a chase spanning miles. Jessa was hunted by an unknowable force, then used as bait to draw her partner down the path to his own death. Unattainability, the shape of something fleeing in front of you, elicits a powerful reaction to follow, to hunt, to chase. Jessa fell victim to that reaction. Camilla, and the white hind, did not.
3: The Myth of Diana and Actaeon, EverymanHYBRID, and The Secret History--Madness
The Diana and Actaeon Fountain at the Caserta Royal Palace:
The detail of the fountain shown depicts the pivotal scene in the myth of Actaeon and Artemis, where Actaeon, mid-transformation into a stag, is killed for the slight of viewing the goddess Artemis nude.The sculpture shows the transformation in no mercy, plain in its depiction of Actaeon’s pain and terror, and the simple ferocity of the hounds that surround him.
EverymanHYBRID, “May & June”:
A shot of Jeff, blood spattered across him, speaking with a shocked and angry tone. The captions read, “Jeff: Why were we doing that? That was...that’s not what we were looking for. We knew damned well that wasn’t what we were trying to kill. (Vince: Close enough.) It was a deer! It was a fucking deer! I tried to pull you off, you tried to punch me in the fucking face!”
The Secret History, on the Greeks’ view of beauty and terror (bold for emphasis):
“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful to souls like the Greeks or to our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? Euripedes speaks of the Maenads: head thrown back, throat to the stars, ‘more like deer than human being’.”
Parallels drawn:
Most depictions of Actaeon, sculpture or painting, usually show him with antlers or a deer lower body, leaving his head and face a recognizable human shape. However, the sculptor here decided to subvert expectations and leave his body human, giving Actaeon the animal head of a stag. The loss of control and the descent from human to animal is not glorified or made palatable by the mere addition of a crown of antlers--there is only the one constant, fear, that follows him all the way down. Madness may be defined as a loss of control, and there may be something beautiful and terrifying in feeling your sanity slip through your own fingers. Jeff, Evan, and Vinnie are overtaken by brief, inexplicable madness and tear apart a deer as they come dangerously close to uncovering exactly who and what is hunting them. They skate close to seeing soemthing they shouldn't see. It is only Jeff who looks up, shocked by the blood on his hands, and voices his fear. Vinnie, apathetic, lets it go. But Evan, houndlike and irrational, defends his kill.
4: EverymanHYBRID & Hannibal--Warnings and Temptation
EverymanHYBRID, “May & June”:
A shot of Evan, spattered heavily with blood, standing with shoulders caved in protectively. His left hand is raised to his mouth, with his hair covering his eyes, and he is licking the blood off of his fingers.
“Shot Through The Hart, and Hannibal’s To Blame” (bold for emphasis):
“In my post about ravens, I talked about how it’s not always easy to tell what the Ravenstag really means. Is it evidence of the Hannibalesque elements of Will’s soul? Or a warning of those parts growing within him? Does the Ravenstag urge Will forward on his journey, or warn him of what’s to come?”
Hannibal, Season 1, Episode 1 “Aperitif”:
A shot of the Ravenstag, staring directly into the camera with one hoof up, as if to approach. There are black feathers interwoven with its pelt and its eyes have an uncanny shine.
Parallels drawn:
On a naturalistic note, deer are skittish creatures. They have thin legs and a sleek body, made for running. A small head and big eyes, placed wide-set to see coming predators. Keen ears. They are ready at any moment to sense danger, warn others, and flee. When a deer does not move, it is either safe or sizing up its options, either accepting where it is or preparing to run. Deer, staring directly at the viewer, come as a sympathetic warning to flee or, in its dark eyes and firm stance, a temptation. Me tangere, they say. Come closer. We are one and the same. In Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal, the commanding presence of the Ravenstag serves as both a warning and a beckoning temptation to turn his feet down the darker path. It is otherworldly, black-furred and feathered, and yet a warning of events rooted in the real world--does Will understand what danger he is in upon meeting Hannibal and take the warning, or will he ignore it, sensing that same darkness in himself, that same potential for corruption? In EverymanHYBRID, it is that same killing of a deer that hints at that same potential for darkness growing inside Evan. He licks at his fingers, animalistic, fully ignoring his own Ravenstag warning signs for the delight of the hunt. Is he Evan anymore? Or is something else growing inside him?
5: EverymanHYBRID & Hannibal--Predator and Prey, or the Final Act
EverymanHybrid, “:D”:
A shot of HABIT, looking up a set of stairs with one foot on the bottom step. In one hand down by his side, he is holding a knife. His posture is tilted forward, poised, ready to spring into action, like that of a hunter.
“Shot Through The Hart, and Hannibal’s To Blame” (bold for emphasis):
“The idea of deer as symbols of rebirth also stands out to me. Hannibal is a series obsessed with becoming and transformation. People start one way, and are reborn as something completely other by the end of the show. There’s even a character sewn up into a deceased pregnant horse in the hopes that when she’s released, she will be literally reborn as something different. It’s thus a neat fit, this significance of deer with the themes of the show.”
EverymanHYBRID, “:D”:
A shot of Jeff, looking up and to the side with an expression of caution and fear. His eyes are unnerved, squinting as, from offscreen, HABIT’s hand plays idly with his hat.
Parallels drawn:
The first and final incarnation of the deer is, of course, prey. Beyond and before any symbolism of innocence and wildness and warnings, deer are prey animals, to be hunted and devoured. And yet, in keeping with the concept of contrasting symbolism, deer are not helpless. Yearly, they shed and regrow their antlers in a transformation of horn and blood. At the climax of EverymanHYBRID, the final reveal, the final transformation, comes to fruition. HABIT, formerly Evan, takes its place as the Hunter, the archetypal predator, with Jeff shown most prominently as the Prey. Jeff’s luck has run its course, with him in the chair as the sacrificial prey-victim to fall to HABIT’s knife. HABIT, reborn, reiterated, made incarnate through Evan’s unwilling transformation, is poised to start the hunt. This is the big reveal, the crux of the transformation, Actaeon caught mid-transfiguration and the bloody sloughing-off of velvet humanity to reveal perfect and gleaming antlers. This is what it comes down to, time and time again. The hunter and the hunted. The wilderness embraced and the wilderness captured, and the monstrosity in that act.
Works Cited
Callimachus. Actaeon and Artemis. C. 220 BC
Fuller, Bryan. “Apetirif.” Hannibal, season 1, episode 1, NBC, 4 Apr. 2013.
Koval, J., Caffarello, V., &; Jennings, E. (Directors). (2011, July 12). May & June [Video file].
Koval, J., Caffarello, V., &; Jennings, E. (Directors). (2012, October 9). :D [Video file].
Tartt, Donna. The Secret History. Penguin, 2006.
Uhminuh. “Shot Through the Hart, and Hannibal's to Blame.” Read the Rude, Wordpress, 19 July 2020.
Wyatt, Thomas. “Whoso List to Hunt, I Know where is an Hind.” c. 1530.
Honorary mention to this fanart by @/rrhaes that started this whole spiral
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sweetestlamb · 3 years
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No Limits
Summary: Today's episode but minus the lies and with extra sexual tension but it gets resolved, somewhat.
Author's note: Today's episode called me a 🤡 too so in between writing my update for BMTL I wrote this drabble to ease my pain I love that the show keeps teasing us I really do it's delicious but I just wanted them to kiss sooooo badly today so here we go! I could keep going if people like 👀👀👀
P.s. Can an Italian tell me what exactly Vinny said to her in episode 3? Netflix says it was stupid idiot but that's stupida idiota and that doesn't sound like what he said to her in the clip. Help a writer out 🥺
She doesn't know if her father would be proud of her, or what she's been doing after turning away from Babel and reforming into a "good guy", it's borderline sanctimonious to consider herself a hero when she had spent most of the night torturing people. The ominous sound of toxic gas flooding the car still swooshes in her head, there was a moment when she'd truly considered going through with it.
Committing murder.
And he hadn't moved a single muscle to stop her, hadn't even uttered her name to pull her back in on the straight and narrow path to righteousness. In the end that had been enough to stop her, he trusted her enough to make the right decision. Every fiber of her being wanted to snuff out their lives the same way they had done to those innocent suffering families, but it was a line she couldn't return from. She should save it for a special occasion, they weren't worth tainting her soul. But there was someone else who was, Babo.
When the opportunity came, she wouldn't hesitate. Her father would have to look away because she wouldn't be stopping that time.
Before she realizes it they are outside her house, her late father's house and he's telling her good night. She'd ran out of excuses to keep sleeping at his apartment. Wanting to see him first thing when she woke up wasn't a reason she could say out loud to him, at least not sober. She was no longer scared of bumps in the night, being alone seemed more terrifying now.
"Drink with me." She whispers instead, falling back on a tried and true plan. They have become regular drinking buddies, using alcohol to cope and detach from the heinous things they see and do daily.
He looks over at her, wistful and searching before nodding solemnly. He unbuckles his belt and slides out of the car, though it is marginal she can see the hesitation in his movement and the night catches up with her. The blood is soaked into the pristine white of his collar, she recalls the hollow feeling in her chest when he didn't answer her calls and she was left with her torturous imagination. His possible death making desperate tears fall despite promising herself she wouldn't cry again.
She makes her way to the bathroom as soon as she enters the eerily quiet space, noticing the way Vincenzo peeks around the corner always on guard and she's thankful for his presence. With him, she's safe.
Pulling open her medicine cabinet she collects packets of gauze, a small bottle of antiseptic alcohol and a bandage, holding the small bundle in her arms before walking back to the living room. She finds him staring at the embarrassing photos of herself that her father had hung on the walls, she couldn't bring herself to take them down. There was so little of her father left.
"Don't let the hair fool you, I was still a heartbreaker back then. I had boys chasing after me." She lies with a smile and when he turns to look at her with those huge eyes she pauses mid step, his eyes survey her face in a distracting sweep before he smirks and walks away.
Maybe summer has come early, that would explain the sudden overwhelming heat that curls around her.
Shaking herself from her daze she calls out to him, "Hey! Come here before you bleed to death. I don't want the mafia coming after me."
The look on his face is his patent I'm going to refuse because I'm a pouty baby look and she intercepts it as she has become custom to doing, grabbing his hand and yanking him over to the kitchen table. For someone so intelligent he still hasn't learned that his refusals are futile around her.
"I'm fine. It's a shallow wound, it'll stop on its own." He argues and she wonders how many other times he has simply left a wound to fester and painfully heal on its own, was that his penance?
She shakes her head, "Why suffer when I can help you? Stop being so stubborn you're reminding me of a certain patient who you love scolding." He grows chillingly still at her words, and again a thought tingles in her mind that there's something she's missing but she presses it aside and pushes him down into the seat.
He doesn't put up a fight, going a little too easily.
"Open your shirt."
He stares at a point on the wall across the room, not responding to her command at all at first and then he looks up at her with dark eyes. She swallows deeply, raising a single brow.
When he continues to look at her without obeying her instructions she grows impatient, repeating herself, "Come on open your shirt I need to clean the wound."
Still he doesn't react and she carelessly tosses the supplies on the table, reaching out with steady fingers to unbutton his starched white shirt. He discarded the jacket earlier, so there are less layers obstructing her way. His face is unreadable as she grabs the smooth button and slips it through the hole, she gets two buttons undone before reaching the center of his chest and as if jolting back to life he suddenly grabs her hand halting her movement.
She stares at him in question, hands still on the button before he sighs at her, "I can do it myself." There's a tightness in his jaw that she can't explain and she has to stomp out the desire to run a finger across that sharp jawline.
"Okay. You do it."
Looking away she tries to give him some space but the sounds of him undressing capture her full attention and she feels her eyes shifting back captivated by the fluid motion of those dangerous hands. Knowing what they are capable of does nothing to douse the fire under her skin. Frustratedly he has a thin white shirt under the dress shirt and she can only faintly see his toned body through the material. She stares harder willing herself to develop x-ray vision, unfortunately those powers do no manifest.
"Surely I don't need to get shirtless right?" He inquires with a smug air and she glares at him, they've been playing this game for a while now. Longer than two adults should be as far as she's concerned.
In lieu of responding she picks up a fluffy cotton ball and saturates it in alcohol before dabbing at the blood on the nape of his neck, as she swipes higher he hisses at the sting and she remembers what her father would do for her when she was young and had scraped her knee. Leaning over his shoulder she puckers her lips and blows, cooling the burn.
She continues this until the cotton is soaked from the dried blood and alcohol and blowing one final time she draws back, this time she feels smugness simmering in her belly. His eyes are blown and pointedly looking away from her, she notices his tight knuckle grip on the seat of the chair as well.
"I'm all done." She announces moving away walking to the small garbage in the corner of the room. His breaths are loud in the quiet of the room, her heart echoes in tandem. Taking a deep breath she speaks without turning around, "You remember where the clothes are right? Get changed so we can drink."
She moves to the fridge to take out the platters of food they had purchased at the market earlier and the bottles of makgeolli, it was that kind of night.
He looks soft and harmless when he comes back out in a large knit sweater, without gel his hair flops across his smooth forehead and she's still not used to this sight, there's a level of domesticity that she's never had with another person. A man.
"I'll go change too." She whispers sidestepping around him, her hands brushing against his.
It's easy to get lost in their escape, slamming back gulp after gulp of the strong cloudy rice wine until her thoughts start to blur and she doesn't know what she's saying out loud and what's only privy to her brain.
When she hears herself monologuing her thoughts as she had ran into his arms in the underpass all she can do is scream internally, she can blame the alcohol but only for lowering her inhibitions really, it hadn't manifested the thoughts.
He looks stricken and oddly amused by her musings until she tells him to get up. That smile is wiped clean off his handsome face.
"I need to test it. Come on stand up." His reluctance is noted but unable to deny her once more he stands, a long suffering look on his face.
She tells him her plan, it sounds crazy even to her but for some reason he doesn't refuse or question her at all. Agreeing to all her stipulations and she's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially not an Italian stallion.
Ten seconds.
That should be enough to hold her over tonight after he leaves her alone. If she can't lay beside him she needs a tiny piece of him.
Taking a running start she dashes across the small distance, slamming into his hard chest enjoying the juxtaposition of his solid body through the soft sweater. He smells amazing, even without his clothes that expensive cologne still lingers on his skin and she nuzzles into his shoulder. Curling her arm around his body she drags him tighter against her chest, her nipples pebbling with the close contact.
It's been longer than ten seconds and she knows she should stop.
But she really really doesn't want to.
Twisting onto his other side she prepares to let go, already regretting it but her sober thoughts are now pushing to the surface and she realizes what this looks like. Peering up at his face she expects to see that unreadable face again, he's annoyingly good at hiding his true emotions it makes her second this all the time.
Her insides churn when she sees the very face she expected. So she detaches and takes a step back prepared to dismiss this whole ordeal, the words denying her feelings for him already on her tongue when the biting sound of wood scraping against the floor fills the room. Jumping a little at the noise she glances over to the direction of the sound and sees his hands holding the chair in a punishing grip. He immediately releases the object at her glance but it's too late, she's already connected the pieces.
"You're holding back." She confidently states stepping back into the space she'd only just abandoned.
She doesn't ask why, that much is all too obvious.
I didn't want you to get hurt.
Being with him will put her in danger she's seen enough mafia movies to know that friends and love ones are always the first to be taken as leverage. So he'd decided all on his own that this, couldn't be and she was better off without him.
"Stupid idiot." She tries her best to repeat those explosive words with the same emphasis he's used when he had spat her in face not too long ago, watching with satisfaction as surprise shrouds his face as the Italian glides off her tongue. She'd been practicing for a while now, mostly curses words.
Fanculo, was still a favorite. What a fun way to say fuck.
She doesn't give him a chance to question her sudden switch in languages, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer, even more so than the hug they'd just shared.
"We're supposed to share everything, even passion." She boldly declares watching with fascination as he still tries to hold on to his semblance of control, the chair squeaks loudly under his hold and she lunges forward putting them both out of their misery.
It feels like coming home.
If your home was a sauna built on an active volcano.
Unlike their hug earlier this time there's no hesitation as soon as her lips touch his liquor moist ones he's already opening up and devouring her tongue. His immediate response makes her hungry for more, peeling his lips open with her teeth she sucks the remnants of the wine from his mouth, eagerly lapping and searching for more. He grunts at the rough treatment but doesn't back off, rather he sinks those capable hands into the depths of her hair caressing her scalp as he tugs at her head, tilting her to the right and moving instantly to the left slotting them even closer together.
The sound of their kissing is messy and loud, echoing in the still of the night.
She breaks apart with sloppy pop, gasping for air and his flushed red face greets her looking every bit as wrecked as she feels.
"Already regretting it?" He teases with an edge that's a bit too real and she yanks him forward, pressing him down into the chair and crawling onto his lap, legs straddling his thighs and their cores meeting through torturous layers. She's burning hot and moist where he's aching hard and rigid.
"Regretting waiting this long." She replies in a clear challenge waiting to see what he'll do.
"We shouldn't do this, partners is enough. You're already in enough danger as is, if they find out that we're..."
He trails off unable to finish the sentence but his clenched jaw speaks volumes. She chuckles coyly from her spot in his lap.
"What? What are we doing? What do you wish we were doing Mr. Vincenzo Cassano? Fucking? " She grinds down into his groin simultaneously and instantly he grips her hips, halting her movement with a bruising hold.
"You're playing with fire." He warns her, she can hear the metallic click of his ever present lighter at his words.
She should be scared of him, he was a world apart from what she was used to even when she'd been working with Babel, manipulation and bribery those things she could do without batting an eye but murder and torture? She'd had never done anything like this before, never. Not until this Italian Korean enigma had walked into her life and shaken it up like a margarita in a mixer. Was she making the right decision? She had no idea, right and wrong had become blurred a long time ago for her. All she knew was that the idea of not kissing him for another second made her want to pull her own hair out.
"I trust you not to burn me up. Too badly."
His eyes flash dangerously at her words and this time he's the one to initiate this kiss, cupping her head gently and dragging her into a sweeter embrace, a simmering heat now licking at her skin. She moans softly as he slips a wet tongue into her mouth, stroking at her back before pushing his hands up the back of her shirt, his hands are sweltering hot on her naked skin and she arches at the rough touch. They kiss languidly breaking apart only to come back together, each kiss wetter and more mind numbing than the last. With soft suckles to her bottom lip he pulls away, she stares at his soft smile as she chases after his retreating lips. Not ready to stop yet. She won't be ready for a long time.
He glowers at her and she waits impatiently for his next move, with strong arms he lowers her onto the table dishes clanging as he shoves them to the side laying her down like she's his last meal. She expels a loud breath allowing herself to be placed on the table, gasping as he stands looming over her.
"I'm the one in the mafia so why am I terrified of you?" He whispers too honestly, looking devastated as he stares at her helplessly all too ready to bolt.
"You don't want to get hurt."
He stares at her with liquid eyes emotions all but spilled across his face, with a whimper he closes the distance between them once more with her guiding hand on his back, this time they meet in the middle surrendering to the flames.
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jcmorrigan · 3 years
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Somehow, I can imagine Vinny, Al and Victor ""adopting"" Taylor so...👀
I’m just going to do this one off the top of my head and see what happens
-Taylor was accepted into RMU, but oh no! They don’t have enough money to cover the dorms. Their parents are just “It’s too bad you don’t have any friends in G4 to stay with″ and Taylor realizes...oh no...I have friends in G4.
-They didn’t want to admit how much they actually hoped Revenge House would accept them when they called. Taylor will tell anyone who asks that they called for the sole purpose of getting shot down and ruling this out.
-Vincent: “I see. Well - “ Albert: “YES” Victor: “I’ll fix up the guest bedroom” Vincent: “...I guess you’re staying with us then”
-There are a few house rules. Don’t go in the basement (there are cyborgs in there). Don’t roam the house after curfew (that’s when we let the cyborgs out). Don’t feed Winston (Taylor isn’t sure if this one is a joke or an actual warning).
-Otherwise they get a pretty nice bedroom, soft bed, quality blankets. Not soundproof and they can hear the screams and weird metallic noises from the rooms two floors down, but hey, they won’t complain.
-At first, the guys pretty much leave Taylor to their own devices. That’s the nice thing about them being a legal adult: they don’t actually have to be good or attentive parents
-Victor and Albert are the two who pay them the most attention. Victor actually carries on conversation like a normal person. Well, mostly. He still always kind of sounds like he’s gathering information to use for nefarious purposes, but Taylor’s used to that by now. Also being called “my dear Taylor” was offputting at first but now they see it’s a genuine term of affection.
-Albert is...an interesting guardian. He’s always approaching Taylor to talk about non sequiturs, usually morbid, and Taylor has gotten used to this and kind of enjoys it. “Speaking purely in hypotheticals, what do you think tastes better: the spleen or the lungs?” “Spleen. Why are you even asking me this? That one’s obvious.”
-But weirdly Albert is in exchange the one who actively cares the most for Taylor. He makes sure they’re stocked up on supplies, and by that I mean Taylor enters their designated bathroom to find no fewer than twenty toothbrushes, all different colors, bound with a ribbon and a note that says “Pick your favorite! ~AK”
-Also instead of taking them shopping for new college wardrobe, Taylor is awoken at 6 a.m. by a phone call from Albert. “I’m at Hot Topic and they have an assortment of androgynous leather accessories. What’s your size?”
-Vincent and Taylor don’t interact much, at first. But they develop a relationship based on their lack of relationship. They both enjoy the value of comfortable silence. They can be in the same room doing separate things and know they don’t have to bother with greeting one another outside of a quick nod or 0.2 seconds of eye contact.
-Right away, though, they all make it clear that Taylor gets free food. The trio does their usual routine of making extremely high-quality luxury food and just lets Taylor chill out doing nothing until the dinner bell rings. The catch is that some of these things, they weren’t sure were food before this, but hey, turns out they don’t hate sashimi.
-Classes start. Every day when Taylor gets home and brings their books and assignments of the day to the dining room to study, Albert and Victor flock around them. Albert: “How was school? Did you make any lasting memories? Do you have an ARCHNEMESIS yet?” Victor: “Does Professor Browne still have a stick up his ass, metaphorically speaking? Has anyone of your preferred gender asked you out yet?”
-Until dinner time, the dining room is Taylor’s study sanctuary.
-They know better than to bring friends home, however. Not a single college pal who’s entered Revenge House has left with at all a good feeling. Some of them have considered calling the cops because there’s no way these people aren’t going to murder Taylor in the dead of night (sillies...Taylor’s the one person they WON’T murder in the dead of night)
-And as for dates? Unfortunately, the few times Taylor has been asked out, they’ll keep it secret and arrange a meetup at a neutral location and show up at the restaurant only to, halfway through the date, realize that they can spot distinct flashes of pink, red, and black positioned around the restaurant like the Bermuda Triangle and greeeaaat, their guardians followed them to spy on the date.
-Which isn’t always bad because one time somebody actually tried to take advantage of Taylor in the alley out back of the restaurant and before any articles of clothing could be forcibly removed, the offender practically explodes from the impact of being shot by Victor, punched by Vincent, and stabbed by Albert at the same time (the bullet almost clipped Albert but it was worth it)
-Taylor’s never sure how to introduce these people. Parents? Guardians? Friends? Roommates? Usually, it ends up something like “This is my...this is...this is Vincent. He’s Vincent. That’s it.”
-They go out as a “family” unit sometimes, usually to dinner or something where they can all just have conversation. There’s usually going to be some rando who walks past the guys and goes “Your daughter is adorable!” and Albert pulls out a rather long and wicked knife while saying “Their preferred pronouns are they/them, and I HIGHLY suggest you respect that.” Victor and Vincent glare on in the background.
-Taylor is torn because they like having guardians who respect their gender identity but also some of these people are just making honest mistakes
-Victor: “I just want to warn you that when you engage with other college students, you may be pressured to try smoking, drinking, and other narcotics. In a strange environment, any of these may be laced with poison or spiked with different drugs. Here in Vincent’s mansion, our stashes are always pure, so if there’s anything you want, just ask us and we will get you a safe supply.” (Though “safe cigarettes” and “safe hard liquor” are oxymorons to a 19 y/o but Victor is trying. Taylor doesn’t even want any of those things)
-Sometimes, though........Taylor has to be the parent figure to these three
-They might end up trying to drink away their sorrows, falling asleep in a vomit-covered living room. Taylor will clean up any obvious mess and get them some pillows.
-Taylor: “So, did you ever want to...talk to me any more about the childhood stuff that was bothering you?” Albert: “...Yes”
-One night, though, they make a big breakthrough. They find evidence for the Myers revenge scheme and confront Vincent with it.
-Vincent tells them everything. Not without getting a little emotional.
-Taylor’s just like “Oh.”
-Somehow this turns into a hug.
-The guys FORBID Taylor from getting directly involved with Myers. That said...they do act a consultation role sometimes.
-Eventually they meet some of the basement cyborgs. Also they’ve gotten pretty friendly with the Dream Eaters. If all the guys are out of the house and Winston is doing his usual hermit thing, Taylor will be “babysat” by a group of awkward yet well-meaning monsters. (The Dream Eaters have been instructed to keep the cyborgs from eating Taylor, though, and they’ve had to actually step in several times. The Dream Eaters also like the taste of human flesh but Albert said this one is NOT FOOD so they respect that.)
-Those days when the guys come home dragging a corpse/an unconscious person, and Taylor catches them, and the guys stare at them like deer in headlights until they say “I never saw this. Carry on.”
-At some point, though, Taylor decides they want a little more, so they suggest “Do you guys wanna go to the mall and catch a movie?”
-Cue a mall trip that involves Vincent criticizing all the secondhand clothing, Victor flirting with the cashiers at every boutique, and nobody knows exactly what Albert is up to but there’s blood leaking from the dressing room so let’s not ask.
-They go to see a fall blockbuster that Taylor really enjoys and the three guys are having varying degrees of enjoyment toward. If it’s got deep themes, Vincent will be happy. If it’s got romance, Victor will be happy. If it’s horror, Albert will be happy. If it’s a superhero film, NOBODY BUT TAYLOR IS HAPPY (so they kind of like taking the guys to Marvel stuff to annoy them on purpose)
-They talk the guys into accompanying them on other Taylor-style adventures. Like bowling. Bowling was either the best or the worst idea they had, because it turned into a four-person DEATH MATCH. (Figuratively, this time. Maybe literally next time.)
-Vincent draws a HARD LINE IN THE SAND at pizza, though. He will not even look at a pizza, let alone eat one or enter a pizza establishment.
-After some months, Taylor and Vincent are conversing more, but it’s usually Taylor asking questions about how the legal system works because Vincent can explain it better than anyone else and in a way that doesn’t fly over Taylor’s head.
-Sometimes, though...Taylor gets sick. The first time, they didn’t actually expect any of the guys to do anything about it. But Vincent drops off hot meals without a word and leaves, and rude as he is, the food’s always DELICIOUS and particular faves of Taylor’s. Victor is the “Text me if you need anything, sweetie” guy who will drop everything if Taylor needs an ice pack or a barf bin. Albert will sit in the room at a safe distance to talk to Taylor about random things and make sure they don’t get lonely. Also, Taylor will have weirdly no nightmares whatsoever, and they know Albert has something to do with this.
-Sometimes...Taylor is sad. All three of the guys will sit around them, encouraging them to talk about everything that’s bothersome. Brief hugs will be exchanged (Victor’s are a bit too tight since, y’know, metal arms, but that’s fine by Taylor). And then if there was a particular entity that caused the sadness, well, that entity might end up dead in a pool of blood in a back alley later.
-There’s also a contract on the table stating that if Taylor is ever incarcerated, then Vincent, Victor, and Albert will break them out of jail at the earliest convenience. Taylor isn’t sure when this will ever have to be used but they’re glad it’s there.
-They make an even more amazing meal than usual for Taylor’s birthday and spend way, WAY too much on gifts. Some of which aren’t even things Taylor wanted (”It’s...a baseball bat with barbed wire around it. Uh...just what I always wanted? Thanks, Albert.”)
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charmmycolour · 2 years
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I posted 2384 times in 2021
40 posts created (2%)
2344 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 58.6 posts.
I added 167 tags in 2021
#milo murphy's law - 20 posts
#balthazar cavendish - 20 posts
#mml - 20 posts
#vinnie dakota - 19 posts
#dakavendish - 19 posts
#archive of our own - 17 posts
#ao3 - 17 posts
#my fic - 12 posts
#balthazar cavendish/vinnie dakota - 12 posts
#fic - 11 posts
Longest Tag: 59 characters
#when i get enough courage to infodumping in the first place
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Milo Murphy's Law Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Balthazar Cavendish/Vinnie Dakota, Balthazar Cavendish & Vinnie Dakota Characters: Balthazar Cavendish, Vinnie Dakota, Savannah (Milo Murphy's Law), Brick (Milo Murphy's Law), Milo Murphy, Melissa Chase, Zack Underwood, Sara Murphy, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Amanda Lopez, Mr. Block (Milo Murphy's Law), Elliot Decker, Aloyse "Rodney" von Roddenstein, Orville von Roddenstein, Calvin the Cat | Agent Kitty (Phineas and Ferb), Dennis (Milo Murphy's Law), Hildegard (Milo Murphy's Law), Gretchen (Milo Murphy's Law) Additional Tags: POV Multiple, Post-Season/Series 02, Angst and Feels, Some Humor, Domestic Bliss, Drama & Romance, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Action, Time Travel, Denial of Feelings, Amnesia, Mystery, Secrets, Shock, Revelations, Separation Anxiety, Developing Relationship, Creative License, Alternate Universe, Psychological Drama, Abusive Parents, Backstory, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sex
Summary:
After Cavendish and Dakota get involved on a mission of the Bureau of Time Travel by accident, a series of unfortunate events tear them apart from each other.
Now, they must figure out what is truly important for them and what they are willing to do to achieve it.
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39 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 02:56:14 GMT
#4
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So like a millon years ago I used to do art and stuff...
(This drawing is actually from @lonelylittleships, I just did the digital color)
70 notes • Posted 2021-10-15 01:22:20 GMT
#3
could you please do 🧬 cavendish and dakota
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I’m not very good doing fusions, sorry! I hope this is good enough.
(From this request list.)
81 notes • Posted 2021-04-20 02:51:29 GMT
#2
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I’m VERY excited to announce a big, big project I have been working on for months (last March/July, go figure!)
A Normal Life is a story that includes a fic, for which more than a thousand pages had been already written; plus several pieces of art including chapter illustrations and concept art. With the help of my beloved Team Cavota server, I have been refining the concept and working hard on creating a unique experience. Though I have done projects before that were pure love children (Lonely Together comes to mind the most), ANL will elevate the stakes in terms of plot and the intrinsic mystery is building. I hope whatever decides to read it funds it interesting.
This cover has been carefully crafted, and is full of details and references I hope you can speculate about. Anything interesting you catch, I’ll be very excited to hear!
I want to send a huge thanks to all my readers that keep encouraging me to write. To everyone in the Team Cavota server (even people that left) for their invaluable help and support. And of course, @jcmorrigan who is still the reason I am an author and today I can share this cover with you.
Thank you all.
I hope you have fun digging for clues 🧸
94 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 02:03:13 GMT
#1
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Ta-da!
I have made this humble fanart for my friend (and angel) @lonelylittleships, based on her amazing fic Mysterious Music!
It’s an incredible story with a nice mystery, a lot of wonderful interactions and, of course, full of Dakavendish vibes. I’m really honored to have been given the opportunity to illustrate this piece, and I hope you like it.
Can you guess what is Cavendish so scared of?
Thanks for the collab! I love the story.
107 notes • Posted 2021-02-15 15:41:57 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years
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december 23 - ricky horror
title: one in seven
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its official where i live! marry christmas and happy holidays to yall. i hope you all have a great day and enjoy the last couple fics of the year! thanks again for reading and sharing, i love you all and wish you all the best in 2021.
prompt: Notes and gifts from a "secret Santa" take a strange turn
request from: n/a
tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @joeynihil @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @thisplace-ishaunted @xyours-eternallyx
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one week. thats all that was left. five days till christmas day and i was all but turned off by the idea of gifts and celebration and parties and everything else that came with the holiday. i think my secret santa knew that though, whoever it was. dont get me wrong, i didnt mind being on the road for christmas, i didnt like the day, and i didnt have family to spend time with so it didnt really matter. but little did i know at the beginning of this that everyday i would wake up to something weirder in my stocking. and not even in a bad way, cause the two things id received already were super awesome.
and yes, it was the guys idea to put stockings up and do secret santa. that way we each got something small the seven days before christmas and the day of we would ultimately find out who our gift giver was over dinner as they gave us one final larger present. and dont get me wrong, i was an excellent gift giver, already two days in and vinny had loved the two things i had secretly slipped into his stocking but i was getting more impatient. i wanted to know who was getting me things only a few people knew i wanted. and ultimately i wanted vinny to know who was giving him his gifts.
when i got up today i wasnt exactly sure what i was going to be pulling out of the stocking hanging outside my bunk. the first day i had gotten a skeleton hand mug, the second day i had gotten a bag of death wish coffee, and i really just wanted to know if the theme would continue. maybe this person was trying to tell me something. i laid in my bunk as my alarm went off, silencing it almost immediately since i was awake already, just staring at the ceiling. i tossed the blanket off and slid out of my bunk slowly, looking up at chris as he leaned back into the opposing one, sipping out of his Starbucks cup from yesterday.
"morning."
i said and he held his cup to me in cheers.
"morning."
he said groggily.
"you check your stocking yet?"
i asked and he nodded.
"yep, todays was a voodoo donut and a starbucks giftcard."
he said with a smile and i laughed.
"guess you get it twice a year now huh."
i said and he nodded contently,
"whats in yours?"
he asked and i turned around, my eyes going wide at how thick it looked. i drew my brows and reached my arm into it. i felt something soft graze my hand before pulling it out.
"awe, its so cute."
i said as i pulled the plush bat out, taking the black silk eye mask off of it and petting its head. i showed it to chris.
"either my secret Santa thinks i sleep too much or not enough."
i said with a laugh, putting the eye mask into my bag next to the coffee and mug. chris laughed a little bit as ricky slid his curtain over from behind him.
"what you guys talking about?"
he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"y/n's concerned with the gifts from her secret santa."
chris answered and rick raised a brow.
"how come?"
he asked and i shrugged, hugging the bat to my chest.
"ive gotten two things of coffee so far and two things to sleep with. im getting mixed signals to say the least."
i said with a laugh and he nodded, jumping down from his bunk with a thud.
"maybe they think you needed something to help you keep up the good work, and something to help you relax. you do work harder than all of us combined."
he mentioned, making me smile.
"thanks rick, i guess ill just have to wait another few days and ask when i find out who it is."
i said and he nodded.
"guess so."
---
"okay, this is getting more and more confusing."
i said, unwrapping the fuzzy blanket, holding it out to look at what was on it. the whole thing was solid black with alchemy symbols, pentagrams, crystal balls, and the likeness on it in bright pastel pinks and purples. it was really cute and matched the bat perfectly. all this stuff just had me wondering what i could be getting at dinner. i knew this blanket wasnt cheap, it had a black craft tag on it after all.
"whats confusing?"
vinny asked, holding the new bulls jersey in his hand.
"the theme of these is a little skewed to say the least."
i said and he shrugged.
"that looks comfy."
he said, running his hand over the side of it and i nodded.
"what else have you gotten?"
he asked and i sighed.
"coffee, a mug, a plush bat, a sleep mask, pastel bath bombs, a coffee and honey face scrub mask, fuzzy black and pink socks, and now this blanket. its like a care package."
i said and he shrugged.
"guess youll just have to find out at dinner, which we should probably get ready for."
---
as we all sat around the table i watched intently as we went down the line, each person giving their last gifts.  justin had chris, chris had ryan, ryan had aj, aj had justin, i had vin, vin had rick, and finally rick had me. as he got up he reached for a large box and my eyes went wide.
"okay y/n i know all week youve been trying to figure out what the hell this all could be leading up to but i asked all of the guys if we could pitch in on something so its not just from me."
i drew my brows.
"we all know you work ten times harder than the rest of us so we all wanted to do something special for you."
he said, setting the box down in front of me on the table.
"you guys didnt have to do that. you guys put so much into the band, im nothing special."
i said and he sent me a disapproving look.
"but you are, without you none of this would work. so as a thank you from all of us..."
he said, pointing to the box and i moved slowly to open it, all of them watching me intently. i ripped the paper off first, then going in to rip the tape off it and popping the sides open one at a time. when i pulled the tissue paper out of the way i drew my brows. in it was a large wooden box.
"okay?"
i asked, pulling it out and setting it on the table in place of the carboard box.
"open it."
chris said from across the table and i pushed the gold tab up, lifting the lid. as soon as i saw what was in it my mouth dropped. i wanted to inspect it more but my vision was going blurry at the tears behind my eyes.
"you guys."
i said, closing it and standing up to give rick a hug.
"so i take it you like it?"
he asked and i nodded against him, pulling away and wiping the tears off my face.
"its beautiful."
i said, opening the box back up and looking over the kit of art supplies. there was everything i could ever ask for in here: a water color palette, gouache, oil pastels, soft pastels, colored pencils, drawing pencils, two sketch pads, brushes, the whole nine yards.
"we wanted to get you something that you enjoy and that relaxes you. this whole week ive been building up stuff that could make you comfortable during or after a long work day: comfy stuff to sleep with, coffee when youre running around making sure we're all in line, spa stuff to help you chill at home. they all helped with this idea but we thought it could be something to get you out of the real world when youve had enough. and now youll think of all of us when you use it."
he said with a wide smile and i couldn't help crying again.
"you guys take such good care of me."
i said through a sniffle as vin leaned over and hugged me, then Justin leaned in and did the same, pretty soon all of them were standing around me in big a group hug.
"we love you y/n, we wouldnt get anything done without you and we're so glad to call you a team member and most importantly a friend."
rick said, as they all stood back up and went back to their seats.
"thank you guys, for everything. and thank you especially for making this a special christmas, the most special christmas ive ever had."
he squeezed my shoulder gently.
"youre part of the family now y/n, and we wouldnt want it any other way."
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fxreverfame · 3 years
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Kai Anderson
information provided by : [xxx]
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Kai Anderson is a cult leader from a Michigan suburb. He is a character in Cult portrayed by Evan Peters. Before he was radicalized by personal trauma, he was a typical internet troll who hadn't realized yet the power in manipulating emotions. His following was known as FIT, which expanded as he continued reeling in new recruits with his gifted charisma. What Kai started as a small group of locals had metastasized as he became increasingly prolific in the political media. He was hellbent on spreading chaos to take over the world, only to have his ego be his ultimate undoing.
Background
In 2014, Kai returned home after getting a degree in religious studies. His father was a lawyer who was injured in a motorcycle accident and was paralyzed from the waist down. This caused him to abuse his wife and accuse her of an affair. He is also seen verbally abusing Kai. He spent of his time there alone, lurking on website such as r/RedPill on his laptop.
Kai states that before the accident his father was firm but fair with them and his mother. One night Kai hears muffled arguing and gunshots. He finds that his mother, no longer able to stand the abuse and accusations, has shot his father she then turns the gun on herself and pulls the trigger in front of Kai. Clearly in shock, Kai calls his older brother, Dr. Rudy Vincent, who convinces Kai that the best course of action is to cover up the murder-suicide. He reasons that they will have to sell the house and that their sister Winter will not be able to finish college due to the loss of their parents' income. He has also just started his practice and doesn't want to explain to clients that his parents murdered each other. After locking pinkies, they put their parents' bodies in bed, cover them with lye, padlock the door and leave them to decompose.
When Kai asked what he should say to Winter, Vin tells him to wait and tell her when she returns home for Thanksgiving. When Winter returns home she is understandably upset that they have kept their parents' deaths from her. She threatens to turn them in but Kai uses Vin's logic on her saying who will pay for Vasser. Three years later and the bodies are still in the house. Kai admits to Beverly that he still talks to his mom. Despite their status, he still talked to his mother's decomposing body, usually holding her hand. He also talked to the corpse of his father, still blaming him for what happened and that he gets pleasure from watching him decompose. At one later point in the season he promises his mothers rotting corpse that he will become something for her.
Sometime after the horrific death of his parents, him and his sister both fall of the deep end. They both practically live in their basement, where they spend most of their time venturing on the dark web trolling alt-right extremists, often posing online as one of them. They'd test the limits of how crazy these extremists could be by proclaiming beliefs they'd pretend to have as part of acting their role. One night while doing this, an ad popped up for "Pastor Charles Judgement House." It's an evangelical hell house, led by the crazed Pastor Charles.
On Election Night, Kai walks in on a bound Gary Longstreet urging him not to scream too loud in his current predicament lest he attracts the wrong kind of attention. Kai manipulates and riles the humiliated man up and convinces him to sever his own hand with a saw so he'd be able to cast his vote. Kai accompanies the injured Gary to their local voting booth. He watches with some amount of glee as Gary shouts: "Welcome to Trump's America, motherfuckers!".
After Election Night, Kai begins drawing all kinds of people to him. He requests Harrison Wilton as his personal trainer and calls him strong. Kai is quick to point out the humiliating aspect of Harrison's work situation: being constantly humiliated by his boss, Vinny, for being gay. He wins Harrison over by advising him to reject labels and promises to always be there for him no matter their differences. After Kai's first session with Harrison, Kai masturbates in the gym shower and lures Harrison in to watch him. As his sessions with Harrison are ending, Kai notices that his trainer sounds a lot like Vinny. When confronted Harrison almost tearfully admits that his life is in tatters, that he's nobody going nowhere. Kai convinces his first devotee that 'nowhere' is the ideal jumping off point. That night Kai assists Harrison in murdering Vinny and disposing of any evidence linking them to the crime. Meadow walks in on the pair of them dismembering Vinny's corpse. Kai is able to sway Meadow to his side by praising her artistic abilities (designing eerie ghoulish clown masks) to the sky.
Kai becomes interested in news reporter Beverly Hope. He discovers that after repeated live 'pussy grabbing' taunts Beverly assaulted one of her hecklers and was forced to seek psychiatric counseling. He catches the frustrated reporter slashing a rival's tires and advises her on how to do it more efficiently. Kai invites Beverly to dinner and impresses her by accurately stating her problems. The aspiring leader next explains his philosophy to Beverly and offers to make her his spokesperson and partner. Realizing that as a reporter Beverly requires proof, not just words Kai requests a few days to deliver said proof. After having seen footage of her hated rival Serena Belinda's gory demise, Beverly realizes that Kai made it happen. The rage-filled reporter seeks Kai out and proclaims she's ready to believe in him. Kai hugs Beverly close and once again promises her an equal partnership.
Personality and Appearance
Prior to his parents' gruesome deaths, Kai appeared to function normally and was, by society's standards, an average teenager. After witnessing his mother and father's murder-suicide, and then the Biblically-motivated violence of Pastor Charles, Kai snapped and became mentally unstable, obsessed with the lust for power. By the events of Cult, he is 30 years old and has shoulder-length hair dyed blue, which he sometimes ties back in a bun. He appears to be very muscular and has a lean build sporting toned abs and biceps. He is fair-skinned and frequently switches between the attire of a cult leader and, when in the face of the public, the suit of a professional councilman.
Embodying a terrifying blend of toxic masculinity and manipulative charisma, Kai is obsessed with the concept of fear and aspires to use it to manipulate people. He states in his speech that his desire is to release chaos to achieve change, suggesting he is delusional. He is noted for holding the mentality that "not everyone can be saved", and that in order for the world to flourish and regrow, "the world should be burned down to rebuild another one".
Kai tested as a genius when he was a young child and was invited to join Mensa, but declined because, according to him, he was also very troubled. This would appear to be true, as Kai has demonstrated all the signs of a sociopath: he is extremely manipulative and charming, is devoid of a moral compass or a conscience, and has absolutely no feelings of empathy or remorse towards other people. He appears to lack fear, as evidenced by when he harassed several Latin-American workers on the street in order to intentionally be beaten by them, employing Harrison and Meadow Wilton to record the inciting violence as a means of furthering his political agenda, which revolved around gaining the racially motivated fear of the public. Despite this, he is described by his sister as having severe paranoia - a fact supported by Kai's exceeding detachment from reality and inability to distinguish between what are his hallucinations or actual people, including seeing and communicating with visions of other cult figures in history, such as Charles Manson.
His harassment towards ethnic minorities and the LGBTQ community are incisive elements for him being perceived as a racist and homophobe, although it is not entirely clear whether he is actually biased against them, or just exploits pre-existing prejudices and tensions to create chaos in the surrounding environment. He is, however, openly misogynistic, viewing women as inferior to men, and holds the belief that they are incapable of holding places of power and importance in society. Despite this, he has displayed a sexual interest in both males and females, though it is unclear if he is actually attracted to them or just uses sexual orientations as a means to further entrance others into following his deranged viewpoints. He intentionally masturbated in front of Harrison Wilton in a gym shower as a means of attracting him to join his cult, and later shared a one-night-stand with Detective Samuels for the same reasons, who he was able to convince that "sex with men is better than with any woman"; additionally, he describes Samuels to his sister as being "quite attractive". Interestingly enough, he is responsible for neither of these men's deaths, unlike other members of his cult that he directly targeted.
Kai may be aroused by the concept of incest, as he attempted a threesome between himself, his sister, and Samuels as a means of giving birth to a "Messiah baby". After Samuel's inability to become aroused by the situation and his sister's refusal to partake in the act, Kai has since come to believe that his son is Oz Mayfair-Richards (per the influence of Ally Mayfair-Richards, who has fed him this lie as a means of self-preservation).
Story
Kai was watching the 2016 election alone in his basement and was delighted by the news of Trump's victory, while his sister Winter was devastated by it, having worked for Clinton's campaign. Kai went to Winter's room to gloat about the win and they proceed to lock pinkies.
Later, Kai attended a city council meeting, which Mr. Chang serves on, about security for the local Jewish community center. Kai states his objections, talking about using fear to control people, though the council disagrees with him and the motion is passed. Kai is later seen harassing a group of Hispanic men on the streets by filling a condom with his urine and throwing it at the men while yelling racist slurs. The men beat Kai up while an unknown person records it.
After his vicious beating Kai, wearing a suit and an endearing armbrace is interviewed by various reporters in front of city hall, as he intends to propose himself as a city councilor. The Trump supporter is quick to point the finger at those 'dangerous illegal immigrants' for his mishap and further stokes the fires of ignorance and hatred. Later Kai just happens to show up at Ally's newly fortified house. Sensing that she's very uneasy he does his best to augment the woman's sense of unease even more.
Kai shared a moment of kindness with Ally as she was attacked by protesters outside her restaurant, stating how he took care of her as promised. Subsequently, Kai recruited both Meadow and Harrison Wilton, performing the pinky ritual with each of them individually. The young man spurred the couple to reveal their deepest fears and desires, but not before unleashing his own anger on Meadow, accusing the woman of wasting his time. Kai Anderson is sent to jail as Ally submitted him to the SWAT team. Kai recruited a fellow inmate and used him to simulate himself and escape prison. Kai then visits Ally Mayfair-Richards at her senate campaign, only to be shot by Beverly.
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tommynikkivincemick · 4 years
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three way call — part 9
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Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.
Author’s note: What’s up fuckers, it’s been a minute! Sorry for the long hiatus, but shit’s been fucked! But now I’m back and will hopefully be writing more. This will probably be the last chapter of three way call, but I’ll totally write an epilogue if y’all would like one. Also sorry if I forgot anyone on the tag list, I haven’t been keeping up with requests very well. Sincerest apologies. Enjoy.
Warnings: Language, alcohol, mild violence, the usual.
Over the following weeks, Tommy, Y/N, and Nikki became inseparable and the Terror Twins became the Terror Triplets. The trio would constantly be touching, kissing, cuddling, sitting on top of each other, or excusing themselves to go have sex. They knew how each other member of the throuple liked their coffee and what kind of cigarettes they smoked, how they tossed and turned in bed, their preferred brands of beer, and what toppings they liked on their pizza. Y/N knew that Nikki didn’t think Crown Royal was worth the money as far as whiskeys went and that Tommy preferred sativa over indica because it didn’t make him feel as hazy. Nikki knew that Tommy didn’t like cheap vodka when doing shots because he’d thrown it up so many times before and he knew that when Y/N made the coffee, it somehow tasted better despite being made the exact same way by everybody. Tommy knew that Y/N only used Sally Hansen nail polish and owned every shade of red ever made, or so it seemed, and that Nikki only burned dragon’s blood incense, only from this weird little hole in the wall shop downtown.
To Vince and Mick, the closeness was nauseating. Vince was tired of fourth wheeling in his own home and tired of being kept up all night and some of the morning by “Oh Tommy, oh Nikki, oh Y/N,” and the pounding of the headboard on the wall. The most blissful times were when Y/N was at work or the trio decided to spend the night at her apartment instead. However, when Y/N was away, the boys had begun to play, testing boundaries romantically and in the bedroom at all hours of the day. Even band practice has changed; Nikki with his perfectionist tendencies harped on Vince and Mick as usual but suddenly everything Tommy did was perfect. In Tommy’s eyes everything should be dialed back a bit, unless it was his drumming or Nikki’s bass.
“I’m so sick to death of those three,” Mick said one day while the Twins were visiting their third at work.
“Oh, shut up, you don’t even live with them! They’re so far up each other’s asses, you can’t even tell where one ends and the others begin at this point,” Vince bitched.
“Don’t get me wrong, Y/N is great, and I’m glad they’re all happy, but when it affects the band is when I draw the line.”
“I know! Nikki and Tommy have been skipping practices and they’re god damned lucky all of our gigs have gone smoothly. I mean, hell; Sixx is supposed to be the leader of this band and who was it that had to call back that Zutaut guy about scheduling a meeting with those record exec guys? Fucking me! I mean, we call Nikki the leader, we call Y/N our manager, and Tommy’s the second in command, so they need to start fucking acting like it if we’re gonna score this record deal.”
“Should we break them up?” Mick asked, a devious sparkle in his eye.
“Absolutely not. Good material has been flowing from Nikki like fucking water; have you read the lyrics for new piece? ‘Looks That Kill’, or whatever? It’s bitchin’, and I don’t even care that it’s about Y/N. He told me what he wants for the instrumentals and it’s gonna be awesome, the whole next album will be.” Vince gushed.
“They’ll tire themselves out eventually,” Mick sighed, “Until then, we suffer, and also tell them to get their shit together.”
Meanwhile at the record store, Y/N swore she was about to throw her lovers out of the store.
“When’s your lunch break?”
“When does your shift end?”
“We miss you!”
“Just close the store for a little while, we won’t tell...”
“Yeah, come on, baby, live a little!”
She loved Tommy and Nikki— really she did— but today they were making her want to tear her fucking hair out. The Twins were especially needy today and it seemed like their whining and pleading wouldn’t ever stop.
“Guys, you’re gonna get me fired, stop it!” She hissed, slapping Tommy’s hand off of her ass.
“Your boss is never even here! Nine times out of ten, you’re the only one working in here,” Nikki reminded, taking another cherry sucker from the bowl on the counter, and watching as Tommy slid behind her again.
“Yeah, but there’s customers here and sometimes the owner’s son comes by to check in and... and...” Her eyelids fluttered and her train of thought went off the tracks as Tommy began kissing her neck and nibbling her earlobe to distract her, “Tommy! I’m gonna slap you in the face if you don’t stop it!”
“But don’t you like it?” He whispered.
“I love it, that’s the problem. You two go home and I’ll see you in an hour for lunch, yeah? I’ll even call in sick for the rest of the day and have what’s-her-name cover for me.”
“Fine,” Nikki pouted, “You promise?”
“I promise, lover,” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently, “But I promise nothing if you two don’t get out and let me get some work done.”
“C’mon, Sixx,” Tommy huffed and leaned down to give Y/N a kiss on the cheek, “See ya later, sweet thing.”
“Later, babes,” She smiled and waved goodbye as they left at last.
She sighed a sigh of deep relief and sank into her chair that sat behind the register. Finally she could take a breather and get some work done. Then the phone rang.
“Mötley residence, Mick speaking, can I please speak to Y/N?”
“Black Cat Records, Y/N speaking, what’s up, man?” She greeted.
“Are the boys still there?”
“Nope, just left. Why, did you need something?”
“No, no. They’ll be home soon enough, I’m sure. We’re having a band meeting later, though, and you need to be there, too.”
“Yeah, got it. Good news or bad news?”
“Little of both. Well, little bad, lot of good.”
“Okay, I’ll be off in a little under two hours and I told the boys I’d call in for the rest of the afternoon. See ya later, Mars man.”
“See ya later, Terror Triplet.”
She chuckled at the name and hung up. As she stuck price labels on a new shipment of records, she wondered what the news could be. The rest of the morning drug on slowly with few customers and boring music on the radio. No Mötley Crüe, that’s for sure. Finally, it was time for the lunch break. Y/N made a quick call before she left.
“Hey, Sylvia? Can you cover me this afternoon? Yeah, yeah, band stuff, you know. Yeah, I’ll tell the boys you said hello. Thanks, hun, I owe you one.”
She was lucky her coworker picked up and was even luckier she agreed to cover her. Even though her boys annoyed her, she still couldn’t wait to go home to them. Y/N was also anxious about Mick’s news. There was so much on her mind that she couldn’t even pay attention to the Blondie song that was on the radio as she drove to the Mötley residence. She climbed through the window of the apartment to find all of the boys laying around the living room in various states of undress.
“Why are you all half naked?” She snickered.
“It’s hot as balls, babe. Our AC broke, I think,” Tommy whined.
“Did you hit it?”
“A little,” Vince sighed, “It didn’t help.”
Y/N hummed to herself and went to the other window, kicking the air conditioning unit as hard as she could, to no avail.
“Damn, that usually works. Oh well, is there cold drinks in the fridge?”
“Yeah, Vinnie went grocery shopping today. We got beer, Diet Coke, bitchy wine cooler things, and some other shit,” Nikki replied, fanning himself with a random piece of sheet music.
She kicked off her shoes and shirt and grabbed a Coke from the fridge, sitting on the floor between Nikki’s legs and leaning her head on his thigh.
“Why are you wearing these leather pants, babe? Aren’t they hot?”
“Fashion before function, sweetheart,” The bassist shrugged.
“So Mick,” Tommy piped up, “What’s your big news?”
The guitarist sat up in his chair, and cleared his throat.
“Good news first. Do you guys remember that Zutaut kid?”
“Dorky rugby shirt?” Tommy asked.
“Yeah, that’s the one. He talked it over with Electra and called today saying they want to sign us as soon as possible.”
The boys and Y/N erupted in a chorus of whoops and hell-yeahs.
“So what’s the bad news? I don’t think anything can sting after that,” Nikki grinned.
Vince shifted uncomfortably before addressing the rhythm section and their lady love.
“Nikki, Tommy, Y/N, let me start by saying we love that you guys are happy together. But me and Mick feel that you’re letting this relationship consume you a little too much. Nikki, you’ve been letting Tommy get away with murder during practices. Tommy, you’re going soft with Sixx and Y/N, man. And Y/N, you’re our manager, but you’ve been devoting more of your time to the guys than the band as a whole. You should have been the one to talk to Electra and tell us we’re getting signed, you know? But we’ve been having to pick up the slack and that sucks.”
The trio nodded guiltily. They knew their priorities were a bit skewed as of late. Y/N had been meaning to call Electra for days, Tommy had been slacking and not taking his position as second in command seriously, and Nikki was too in love to whip Tommy into shape again. It wasn’t fair to Mick and Vince, and they knew that.
“Yeah, I mean us being together makes us happy, but maybe we should’ve considered if it would be good for the band,” Tommy sighed.
“Maybe taking a break would be the best thing for the band,” Y/N mused, words soaked in sorrow.
“Hey, no! You don’t have to take a break from each other, just even out your priorities a little more, you know?” Mick offered, “Tommy still acts like a ten year old but has more grown up moments since you guys started this. Nikki broods less and the creative juices really seem to be flowing. And you seem really content, and me and Vince don’t want to take that from you. You just needed to be straightened out. It’s cool, just focus on the band more, okay?”
The three nodded and sighed in relief. Y/N excused herself to go lie down because it had been a long day, and Nikki followed. Tommy would have, but insisted that Nikki’s bedroom was too stuffy for the Los Angeles heat with no air conditioner. The bassist opened the window in his bedroom to allow for some air flow as the manager removed her shirt and pants to lie down on the dark sheets.
“Were you serious when you talked about us taking a break?” Nikki asked, sitting on the floor beside the bed.
“Only half. If it would be better for the band, I think we could all agree on it. But it would kill me not to be with you and T-Bone anymore,” She whispered.
“Yeah, I get it. I don’t think I could go back to not being with you two dumbasses,” He cracked a smirk, “The bed’s too big without a couple extra warm bodies next to me.”
“I bet you’d write some killer breakup songs, though. Everybody loves a heartbreak,” She joked, fanning herself with a magazine from the table.
“I wouldn’t love this heartbreak,” Nikki sighed, leaning his head on the mattress, inches away from hers.
She took the memo and kissed him deeply before the sounds of chaos erupted from the living room.
“Damn it, Tommy! Don’t drink all the beer!” Vince whined, “Grab another one and I’ll... I’ll shoot you with a staple gun!”
“Did you leave your bag out there?” Nikki whispered.
“Mhm,” Y/N hummed.
“Is your staple gun from the store in it?”
“Mhm, wh—“
There was a metallic pop, followed by shouting.
“FUCK, BLONDIE! YOU MISSED MY EYE BY AN INCH!” Tommy shrieked.
“HALF AN INCH!” Vince yelled back.
“Oh, fuck,” The couple in the bedroom sighed in unison, before going out to join back in the chaos.
Tag list: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1 @cranberribread @princesadeltoro @prostidudes-for-justice @miriampraez @tarahell @n-osebleed @valentines-in-london @bohemian-war @cuntlord0606 @holding-on-to-my-youth @abbysdogcollar @deacontaylormercurymay @fuckyeah-motleycrue
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vinnie-cha · 2 years
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stop asking who’s the man and who’s the woman in gay relationships and start asking which ones the serial murderer and which ones the one trying to catch them
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Instagram | Twitter | Etsy | BigCartel
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clamydomona · 5 years
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Veronica Mars Season 4 (Spoilers)
I had zero expectations going into this season, didn’t watch any interviews or trailers or look up spoilers because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Most revivals I watched in the last years were ony so-so and most of the time when I was looking forward to something I ended up disappointed. Wth that in mind, I enjoyed a lot of what I saw.
Positive stuff:
- I loved that Veronica had a new dog that she named Pony, but I’m disappointed that he didn’t get to go on any of her snooping adventures with her like Backup in the old days.
- I’m glad that Wallace ended up married and with a cute baby and a good job and that he seems genuinely happy, that guy deserves it.
- I could listen to Cliff for hours and still enjoy his relationship with Keith and Veronica immensely. I like that he seems ridiculous but good at his job at the same time.
- Same goes for Vinnie. I can understand why the police chief is reluctant to trust PIs if most of her interactions are with Vinnie. Less so with Keith and Veronica. But at least she seems more qualified for her jobs than the Lambs ever were.
- I enjoyed what we’ve seen of Dick, but I’m glad that it wasnt more than that.
- Big Dick’s right hand man reminded me so much of Mike from Breaking Bad I sometimes confused those guys.
- The thing I enjoyed most of all was Veronica and Keith’s relationship, their teamwork and their banter. That was one aspect of the show I liked the most and I’m glad this season had so much of that.
- Logan’s character development was great as well. I loved that he ha help working through his issues to move beyond his anger and resentment that drove him so much of his life, while still being enjoyable and recognizable as a character. I also absolutely loved the scene where Logan came home with blood on his shirt, acting like nothing happened. And that Logan seemed to have very positive relationships with Keith and Wallace, after their earlier animosities.
- I also liked that scene where the murder heads were all arguing about who really killed Lily. Seems very reflective of all the True Crime culture nowadays.
- The mystery was interesting enough and not as convoluted as some of the previous mysteries.
- I also enjoyed many of the Leo-scenes, there was some pretty good banter and I liked how they snapped out of their drunkenness to draw their guns withing two seconds. Could have done without the sex dream, though I never for one second thought that thing was real.
- Nicole was a very fun character and I’m sad that her storyline ended the way it did.
So-So stuff:
- While pizza guy Penn was an interesting character, after a while he became very annoying being featured so heavily.
- Matty was interesting as a mirror of Veronica’s teenage self, though I’m not sure I would have let her be unsupervised in the office after some of the stuff she pulled beforehand.
- While earlier seasons were certainly violent enough, I could have done without so much casual beheading. Seemed way over the top for me.
- After watching Jason Dohring in iZombie, I was relieved that his head didn’t look as tiny in comparison to his very defined torso as it did in that show. For some reason that was extremely off-putting to me last year.
Negative Stuff:
- Why so little Wallace? They could have found something for him to do, it can’t be that hard. Also I’m disappointed that he was treated as so disposable by Veronica. She treated spending time with him more as an obligation than anything else. Was that the same in the show, it’s been a few years since I saw that.
- No Mac. She was missing so much.
- Why they felt the need to rob Weevil of every positive thing in his life and regress him to the character he was in season 1 I will never understand. I understand that the falling out between him and Veronica was described in the books, but without knowledge of those, their relationship this season just seemed very weird.
- Why the hell did we spend so much time in the first episode with the spring break kids before the bombing, when nothing of that seemed to matter, the scenes could have been cut out and the story would have been just as easy to follow?
- Why did none of these people, except the brother of the congressman and Matty, seem in any way trauamtized or sad that they lost their friends/family in a bombing when they instead expected to have fun partying?
- Why was Veronica belitleing Logan’s therapy so much? Didn’t their relationship fall apart numerous times because of his destructive tendencies? Shouldn’t she be happy that he sought help, even if she is incapable of getting it herself (when she, let’s face it, probably needs it more than any other character apart from Logan)? After a while I honestly didn’t understand why Logan wanted to be with her, when in earlier seasons it was mostly the other way around.
- Is Logan an addict of any kind or not? I thought he was, since he was a sponsor in the movie, but he drank (and did drugs, did I understand that “E” correctly?) with Nicole, Veronica and Dick in one episode, so I guess not?
- If for some reason the show gets another season, it’s reasonable to expect that they will drag out Duncan again, right? He’s the only ex-boyfriend they haven’t used in any of the newer incarnations of the show.
 And then the ending:
I wasn’t spoiled, but it did not exactly come as a surprise to me, because Rob Thomas so fas has been incapable of writing a relationship that survived a whole season intact (at least on Veronica Mars and iZombie, I don’t know about any other products of his. I learned not to get attached to any of Liv’s reationships, because why bother when he kils all of them off anyway?). I honestly thought there was a bomb in her car when Logan reminded her on Skype to move it and expected the bomb to detonate when she went to move it while the cartell guys were watching her apartment. I expected the other shoe to drop the whole episode, so I couldn’t even get into the wedding because it was so obvious to me that the whole thing was far from over without any explosion in the finale.
I wasn’t surprised that the bomb went off, though I am surprised that the show seriously went there and appearantly killed off one of the main reasons people still want to watch the show. After watching so many supernatural shows (and a few soaps), I remain highly sceptical that he’s actually dead without showing the explosion itself, the body, the funeral or anyone mourning at all. Especially after they did something similar in season 2 but didn’t kill off Keith.
But after catching glimpses of interviews going around, I am stunned that the death at least seems to be intended to be permanent and I don’t get that argument at all. Why the hell is it necessary to kill of one of the main attractions of the show in order to “save” it? Who wants to tune into a show that killed off one half of a couple that became an essential part of that show? Seemed to me more like he wanted to make sure he would absolutely not get another season, and providing extremely shitty closure in the process. It just didn’t seem like the show to me. In previous finales, while Veronica went through harrowing experiences, the show still managed to end on a somewhat positive note (which might arguably be the case with Keith getting healthier and Veronica willing to see Logan’s therapist, but all of that seemed extremely hollow to me). Plus, the death was so tagged onto the case storyline, not intrinsic to it at all, but just added after the resolution. Random deaths might be true to real life, here it just seems to be shock for shock’s sake, but not necessarily good storytelling. Furthermore it’s just depressing to pile on more and more trauma onto Veronica without any of the relief of healing.
Also, I completely disagree that the show would not be interesting anymore with a married Veronica. Why couldn’t the conflict and drama come from the cases itself, while her private life was stable for once? I’ve really grown to hate this notion that couples are not interesting once they are in committed relationships, so they have to do will they/won’t they, cheating and love triangles. I’ve read tons of fanfiction that somehow managed it, why are so many showrunners incapable of seeing any appeal in that at all? Honestly, the show would have been more innovative if it had let Veronica be married and at least a little attempting to overcome her trauma. But I guess a happy Veronica is not an inspiring Veronica to the showrunner.
I honestly think Rob Thomas overestimates Veronca’s appeal as a character without any of the other elements. No Neptune, not Keith, no friends, no Logan, just Veronica going around solving cases does not sound appealing at all to me. If he wants something like that, it would probably be better to create a whole new show based on that kind of premise, or write this season like that to begin with. Just kill off Logan off screen in a war and start Veronica as a lonely and depressed PI somewhere other than Neptune if that’s what Rob Thomas wants to write so much.
I really have to thank the absolutely terrible finale of HIMYM. After completely screwing over my favorite couple, I just stopped being invested in any couple to the degree I was before. I never assume anymore that the story will go in the direction I expect it to go, no matter how obvious that outcome seems to me, because who knows how differently the showrunner envisions their work and what they see as “good storytelling” (which somehow often means killing someone off right before the end, how fun!). I am kind of surprised by how angry I am about Logan’s death despite my low expectations and diminished investment in the couple since I first saw the show. At least here I can ignore the ending much more easily than in HIMYM.
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fantabulosogamedev · 5 years
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A Big Change, and a Quick Status Update
Hey everyone!
I’ve been hard at work on the demo over the past several months, and I’m happy to say that it’s nearly complete in an unpolished beta state -- currently, all that I have left to do is implement sausage leveling and polish up the geometry and effects...or at least, that’s what was left until a couple days ago.
Something I’ve noticed recently is that a lot of people seem to be mixed up on the purpose and the goals the game, mostly due to my own mistakes explaining it.  Some people think that I’m still working on the Dark Souls-Platformer Hybrid, named The Fantabulous Game, and others think that Le Fantabulous Game v1.0 is going to be a proper revisit of the egglike genre.  And, on top of this, there are people who dislike the (quite frankly, cringe-inducing) use of the word “Le” in the title.  This is something I hoped would be endearing to fans of the original v0.9, but even Vinny himself hid the word “Le” when he showed the trailer, accidentally hiding the fact that the game’s going to have a Kickstarter.  (As a sidenote -- I’m so so grateful that he mentioned it at all, let alone showed his viewers the trailer or mentioned it twice, especially since it’s brought this issue to light.)
So, long story short: I’m finding that the name of Le Fantabulous Game is confusing to people; at best, it causes people to mistake LFG for TFG...and at worst, results in people treating the game like a free egglike, or even worse, as shovelware and trash for those less interested in the genre.  I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into making a real game, and the title has seemingly been holding it back.  So, without further ado, I’d like to announce that Le Fantabulous Game is being renamed.  The new title?
Fantaria: The Quest for Sausage
I know some people are going to be upset about this change, but this is something I need to do both for my own continued passion for the project, and for its ability to draw in new fans who haven’t heard of the original -- I certainly don’t want them looking up “Le Fantabulous Game” and finding the video of v0.8 and thinking that’s all it is, after all.
So, to officially clear up the confusion: Fantaria is an FPS/Collectathon Platformer hybrid, named after the continent where the game takes place.  You play as a mysterious alien who fell from the sky in a capsule-esque egg, who the Spherefriends dub as Capboy.  Capboy quickly gets roped into the surreal politics and supernatural threats of Fantaria, and slowly begins to unravel the secret power of the Sausages which the denizens of the island find so alluring.  The gameplay’s inspired by games like DOOM16 and Banjo Kazooie, with my own unique gameplay elements to boot.
So with that out of the way, I’d like to give you guys the lowdown of what’s done for the demo:
Fightyplace-3, “Mount Sphonk Summit,” has a complete structure.  This level is what will comprise the majority of the demo, and features five separate enemy types along with a hybrid of platforming and combat gameplay.
FP-3 still needs some polishing both visually and audibly.
The boss of FP-3, who I’ll be keeping under wraps, is nearly complete and simply needs some slight polishing and a death animation.  Mechanically, it’s 100% complete, with two phases.
Four weapons (including melee), each with a primary and secondary fire
Three unique abilities: 
A tattle, where you get a small blurb about the enemy you’re looking at based on the spherefriend you have equipped
A slipdash, letting Capboy become invulnerable to all damage while dodging in the currently held direction
Mind control, allowing Capboy to seize control over a stunned enemy.  Note that this ability will not be present in the demo due to not quite being up to the stability standard I’d like it to be, and will instead be replaced with a new ability I’ll discuss below.
All of this content is being consistently tested for quality/enjoyability as I make it, so this should all be much more stable and fair than things in v0.9 were.
And, as for what’s left to do beyond the mentioned polishing:
Implement Sausage Leveling, where Capboy can spend collected sausages in a menu to upgrade his weapons and abilities
Implement corresponding upgrades for every ability and weapon -- note that skill trees will be very limited in the demo compared to the final version, due to only having one level’s worth of sausages, and will be more potent and generalized.
SFX and death anims for Vineborn enemies
Create skyboxes for FP-3 and FP-Boss
Write up kickstarter info
Record Q&A video -- this has been so delayed because my overhead light went out in my apartment, so I’ve been waiting for a day that I have time to record and have the sun lighting things up well enough.  The video’s scripted, and based on the weather it can be out hopefully tomorrow?
So, home stretch!  Due to this name change and general refactoring, there is a decent chance that the Kickstarter will be first week of May instead of April, but I’m sure you guys can handle waiting just a little bit longer.  If you’d like to join the server and talk about any of this, you can check it out here: https://discord.gg/Y4R8d3K
Thanks for reading, gang, and I’ll talk to you guys again soon! -Fantabuloso
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littlecrookedheart · 5 years
Text
Amen, Amen • The Fraying
Catch Up : Reckoning | Rum on the Fire | Like You're Made of Glass | Unfolding
Character(s) : Noah Marshall, Jane Marshall, Matt Pivouz (OC), Vinny Trovato (OC)
Rating : MATURE. THIS STORY WILL NOT BE NSFW, but it will be dealing with mature themes, such as death, possession, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, murder, and other graphic elements. Language warning. Please read at your own risk. I’m issuing a general trigger warning for the entirety of this story. *This chapter deals heavily with abuse. Please be aware of this before reading and do so at your own risk.
Time : This takes place 14 years after Jane’s death and roughly 5 years after the events in ILITW. Noah is 22 years old.
Word Count : 6,594
Author’s Note : This chapter was a rough one. We peek back into Noah's past and his new friendship with Matt, and we get to see some twisting of the tides when it comes to what they've been dealing with.
Key : Perspective switches will be marked with ** | Time jumps will be marked with –
Soundtrack | Chapter Inspiration
**THIRTEEN YEARS AGO**
"Honey, I know this is hard, but we told everyone six, and it's five thirty. We have to go."
Mom's sitting on the couch, staring into space like she always did after Jane left. Dad has a hand on her shoulder, a rarity then, she'd never let anyone touch her. I haven't hugged my own mother in fourteen years. Specifically, five thousand, two hundred and one days.
"Honey, we really-"
"I'm coming, okay?!" She's yelling, pulling her purse strap onto her shoulder and she spins around, finding me. "You'll keep your mouth shut."
I'm nine, and I don't know what she's talking about. I'm nine, and the tone in her voice wants to gut me like a wild animal. She's got me down, I guess. That's the moment when I found out that I was alone.
--
"Noah!" Katai stumbles over to me, holding out a snickers bar. "Brought you this."
They put it on my lap, because I won't look anywhere but down, and I say, "Thanks."
"Yep! Had it left over from Easter."
And that's kind of weird, because it's been months, but I just smile, because I'm nine and it's fine.
"Your mom is crying a lot."
"Yeah, I know."
"She misses Jane, huh?"
I nod, because so do I, but I can't say so. I can't deflect mom's pain.
"How come they wanted this memorial thing?" Katai asks, opening the snickers and taking a bite. I don't mind, and I break it in half to share.
"They think it'll be good for Jane's friends I guess," I say, shrugging.
"That's kinda dumb. I think they think it's good for their friends, not Jane's. Jane's friends are always talkin' about her."
"Katai?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you stay my friend?"
"Whatcha mean?"
"Nobody else talks to me..." I'm trailing off, scraping my foot in the dirt. "Nobody wants to be my friend anymore."
"That's not true!"
"Then how come I never hang out with you guys anymore? How come Lucas stopped asking me to trade cards? How come Ava and Andy ignore me in class?"
Katai sighs, standing up and stomping in front of me, pokes me on the head.
"Ow! What the heck?"
"Noah, you gotta stop worryin'. And I'm always your friend! You stopped coming to my house on Saturday mornings and I still think me and you are friends!"
Katai is right, I think, because I'm nine and I don't know the future. So I hug them, because they're my friend.
**PRESENT DAY**
And now they're gone.
--
Less focus on the fact that I almost killed Matt back there. More focus on the drawing. It's in my hand, probably being held too tightly, and Matt's on the front steps, sitting next to me.
"Noah?"
"Hm?" but I'm not really paying attention. Feel the pencil marks. Feel the fibers. Feel my heart falling. Vinny's voice in my ears.
Help him.
"I don't care about that thing back there. It couldn't be you when you're right here," Matt says, putting a hand on my shoulder. This time, it's not a dagger. And I take a breath, because I don't know what that means. Because I'm twenty two, and I have one friend. Because Katai is dead. Because Matt is the only thing I know exists right now. Because I trust him, somehow. Because fuck this.
"But you saw me."
"I saw something. Looked like you. But I trust this version of you, not that thing. Do you want to kill me?"
Shake my head, count to seven. All I want is to let go.
"Right. Couldn't have been you."
Truth is, I'm not so sure. We find misery to be so fucking captivating because we look deep within her and see ourselves, an abysmal mirror just aching to hear 'bloody mary.'
Maybe that's where I fucked up. Stood in front of it so many times it started to reflect. Begged too hard. Fought too long. Think I could call for her? Say her name in the bathroom, close my eyes and hope she appears? Think I could suffocate? No, that's too easy.
And yeah, I'm ready to fall. Fuck, just as much, I'm ready to fly. But I'll keep on tightening the clutch around my own neck, because wanting is as honeysuckle as the idea that things will change, and I know better than to give into false hope. I know better. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
"You have nice eyes."
What? I know my eyebrow is raised and furrowed, and of course, I'm looking away. My ears are burning like skin on a fucking stove top.
"Sorry, not like...my mom always said you can tell a lot about people by their eyes."
"You believe that?"
"You don't?"
No. Because I don't believe in anything that isn't absolute. Because I'm twenty two, and I've had to raise myself. Because I've tried and tried, and all I've ever learned is how to barely drag by. Maybe that's just what I'm made for, half empty glasses of murky water, shards of glass, forgotten promises. Whispers. Pain. Maybe I need a bloody mary.
"Anyway..." He's standing up, dusting off his coat. "We should go."
"What? No," but I don't know why I said that. Neither does Matt, according to the look on his face. "We're supposed to be here. Vinny wanted us to come here."
"Yep, and then something tried to kill me," Matt says, pulling his collar down to show me the marks. I know they're there. I know he's burning, too.
"You can go. I'm staying." Like somehow I've got a key, like somehow it's my place to stay.
"I'm not leaving you, shit head." He turns around, making his way up the stairs. He's looking over his shoulder at me, waiting.
So I meet him at the front door, and I notice his eyes are bloodshot, but they're gleaming. Like emeralds and gold and all of the things you'd want to find. I don't know what that means for him, I just hope it's better.
It's still dark inside, just like it was an hour ago. Except this time it reeks of sulfur, like it's been embedded into the walls, seeping up through the floors. Pull my shirt over my nose, make my way in to Matt's old room.
**
Noah slid across the floor near the bed, sticking his arm back into the compartment where Vinny had hidden the items. He felt a small knob, and turned it, almost as if it were a door. His face turned in confusion, but he pressed inward, which lifted an entire floorboard.
"Holy shit," Matt whispered, scrubbing his face with his hand. "How is this here?"
Noah shrugged, backing up and kneeling, prying the board upward with his fingers. Under the wood was a scatter of papers, stuffed in with small toys, a costume conductors hat, and a small photo album.
"I've seen that before," Matt said, pointing to the album. "Maybe in a dream or something, I don't know. It's familiar."
Noah handed it to him, scooping the rest of the contents onto the floor. Matt forced the window open, a cracking sound coming from the sealed panel.
"These aren't letters, they're pages from someone's journal," he said, grabbing a paper as he fumbled to the old bed, landing with a creak.
"Why are they in envelopes?" Noah asked, frowning in confusion. Matt shrugged and passed most of them to him instead, focusing on the photo album.
Noah opened the seals, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he read the first page, a sickness forming in his gut as his eyes skimmed the words. And then he knew exactly why they were hidden, and why they'd been in envelopes. He grabbed the few Matt had sitting near him, pulling them to the side.
Noah heard a small click from the doorway, looking up to see Vinny.
"Um...Matt?"
Matt held the conductors hat in his hand, running his thumb over the embroidery. "Hm?"
"Matt, look."
Vinny sat on the edge of the bed, silently, radiating a deep violet glow, almost like smoke. Instead of sulfur, the room smelled of licorice.
Matt's eyes glistened, his hands outstretched toward him. Vinny shook his head, moving his hand in the air as if he were smearing it, and was gone.
"Where'd he go?"
"Wherever he exists, now," Noah said, realizing that Vinny had shuffled through the envelopes, a handful of them pried open already.
Matt began to cry, trying to shake it off. Noah stood on his knees, putting a hand on Matt's shoulder. He seemed to crumble, as if he were paper, shifting and sobbing.
**
I don't know much about friendship, not outside of Katai. I don't know much about miracles or helping people or how to console the only person in the world who cares about what you're going through, but I can tell you how to crack the sky. I can tell you how to beat the demons on good days and how to drown them out on bad days. I can tell you how many puffs are on each of my cigarettes before I light them, and how many times Matt has cried for Vinny in the last twenty four hours. I don't know if that's right, if he's crying for him or because of him, but as cheesy as it sounds, I've never seen anyone love anyone like that. Just me and Jane, and now Matt and Vinny. I don't know if it feels good to know that.
I don't want Matt to know about these journal pages. They're too hard, too dark, darker than any brother should have to read. Vinny was twelve. Too young for this. Hell, you could be eighty and be too young for this. But why did he want me to find it? What good will this freaky drawing do me if I don't know what it's for?
Matt's quieting now, he's standing up and handing me the photo album.
"What is it?"
"Fucked up, open it."
These are pictures of Vinny and Matt, laughing and playing. This one may have been for a Christmas card. And here's their mom, and then again on her wedding day to Pete.
"Pete wasn't your dad?"
"Nope. Keep going."
So I do, and they seem to morph, their faces becoming warped and solemn, bullet holes appearing over their skin. I'm looking up at Matt, who gestures to keep flipping.
And then I see it, and my blood goes cold. Me. Jane. Jane. Vinny. My heart drops, if it falls and nobody is around to hear it, will it make a sound? Will Matt hear it? Does he see? Me. Him.
"What is this?"
"A lie," he says, grabbing the photo album. He palms the drawing of Jane and Vinny in the church and holds it up to a photo where they stood positioned the same, except not in a church. Instead, they're on a playground, and they look happy, like they're best friends.
But I grab the album back, turning the plastic, staring in utter fucking disbelief at a photo of Matt and I, sitting in his old room, the one we're in now. Because this photo is of today, not years past, not a fabrication. This photo is real, and so are we, and none of this makes any fucking sense.  
I'm shoving it at him, my throat closing in, and I rush to the front door, fleeting for my last god damn nerve, get me out of here. Get me out.
I duck past Jane, humming that annoying fucking song, grab the handle, grit my teeth as it burns my palm, twist the handle and slide down the hill.
But Jane is here, too. She always is, isn't she? And I can't breathe, and I'm clawing at my mouth, thick, rough strings sewn through my lips. I'm coughing, sawdust puffing out of the seams, and Matt's yelling for me.
**
"Noah!" Matt shouted, jumping down the porch stairs.
Noah was doubled over, eyes blood red, segments of  black wire embedded into his lips. Matt grabs a pocket knife from his coat pocket, bending the wire open. He's got one hand on Noah's shoulder, the other prying the material from his mouth.
Finally, he coaxes away the last of the wire, and Noah bends over, retching, spilling sawdust and larger wood shavings, black beetles and maggots spawning from it.
Matt helps Noah sit on the ground, hand on his back. "Can you breathe?"
**
"Yeah," I say, because physically, my airway is open. But no, no, inside, my chest is full of stuffing, like I'm fucking taxidermied, like my twin cradle has expired and decayed and all that's left is carcass.
Catch my breath, breathe, one, two, three, four, five, six-
"I know it's not a great time," Matt says, leaning forward, "Why were you humming that song?"
God damn, they've got me on display, don't they? Like they feed on my misery, but that's just how it goes, isn't it? Because I know I didn't do anything other than choke on that dust, but Matt heard a melody. Talk about insanity.
They get a laugh out of turning me into a puppet.
Like this is a big top circus, and I'm the acrobat, walking a tightrope made of rusty metal twine, like a noose that couldn't be unraveled, a scream that never left my last motherfucking breath and good god, I don't know how to put one foot in front of the other.
I don't know what an anchor is anymore.
"Hey, it's okay." Matt says, pushing a smile.
Maybe I do, after all.
**FOUR YEARS AGO**
I'm standing in Dr. Ripley's office, staring out the window. I remember this moment like the back of my hand.
"Okay Noah, have a seat," he says, keys clicking beneath his fingers as he finishes typing an email.
I sit down, but still face the window, watching breezy whisps of snowflakes dance down from the sky. I have always loved the snow.
"Today I'd like to get personal, are you open to that?"
Personal. Was discussing Jane's death not personal enough? I can tell him the detail of how the sky bends before it breaks but I can't get personal, not enough to satiate him.
Nod, agree, just get through this meeting.
"Tell me about your family dynamic."
Ha. Good one. I look at him forlornly, I guess he isn't kidding.
"It's fucked."
"Care to explain the extent of how fucked, exactly?"
"Sure. I'm Noah, I'm in a mental ward. Jane was my sister, she's dead now. My parents got divorced when I was ten, Dad cares but not enough, he's got a new family in Minnesota or some shit. He sends me a check from Jane's life insurance every month, wants me to keep it for college."
"And your mother?"
"Darlene is a god damn snake," I say, meeting his eyes. They're kind and blue, as they should be, as you'd expect from someone like him.
"Would you like to elaborate?"
I sigh, big, annoyed but not at doc, more at Darlene, that evil sack of-
"Noah, take a breath. You're shaking."
Oh fuck, I am, aren't I? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
"Sorry. She just, uh..she's not good."
"Was there ever any abuse? I have a note here from one of our first sessions, you mentioned that she'd have backhanded you for speaking up for yourself."
"She'd backhand me if I said nothing at all."
And it's true, she would. She loved the swipe of her hand across my face, the way it made me jerk backwards. She'd choke me with her poison any chance she got.
"When did that begin?"
"The night Jane died. We all got home, everything was quiet. It's weird, I actually could swear I remember this in black and white."
"That isn't abnormal. Please, continue, if you feel comfortable."
Ripley never pressures me to spill my secrets. Half of that, I think, is because he doesn't believe me. The other half, if I had to guess, is that compared to the other kids in here, I'm a walk through the park. Kid sees dead sister, is thrown into a depression after best friend dies. How's that for a headline?
Imagine walking through the park with snow like this. The idea of the crunch nearly gives me shivers. Man, I miss the snow.
"Like I said, it was quiet. I was on the couch, Dad was in the kitchen getting something but I can't remember what. I could have sworn I heard the sound of Jane's shoes, I turned around and of course, she was dead, so nothing was there. Darlene asked me what was wrong. I said, 'Nothin', mama. Just thought I heard Jane.' and her face did this weird, ugly thing, and she knocked me out of my seat."
"Did your father react?"
"I started crying and he ran in, checked my face and yelled at her. I don't even remember what he said. I just remember looking up and seeing Jane."
"A photo? Or perhaps, do you feel, she was visiting you?"
Visiting. Right.
"Not a picture. Like, whole Jane. Sitting across from me. When we were kids we did this thing to like, make our twin cradle work. We'd press our pinkies together, and like, it wasn't big. We just always did it. So I held up mine, and she did the same, but I felt it ice over inside. And then she was gone."
Doc shifts in his seat, opening a bottle of water. "What's your twin cradle?"
The space only we know, I could say. The place Jane lives, but it's nothing now, just like she is.
"It's nothing. Kid stuff."
He nods, smiling. "Your mother's behavior never improved?"
I pull up my shirt, showing him four cigarette burn scars on my ribs. Then to my shoulder, where a there's another scar, a line across it. The misshapen angle at the edge of my collarbone. Sit back. Count to seven.
"Noah, did your father try to get custody of you?"
"Nah. He said, 'kids need their mother.' But I didn't, not at all. Darlene might have done all of this shit, but the worst thing she's ever done  is blame me."
"For the divorce?"
"Well, yeah. But Jane's death."
"Your mother blamed you for your sisters aneurysm?"
Shit.
"Doc, no offense, but if I told you how Jane really died, you'd keep me in here forever."
"I can't say you haven't piqued my curiosity," he laughs, handing me a bottle of water and my little plastic cup of pills. "I won't think differently of you if you tell me. How about....off the record?"
"You mean it won't go in the notes?" I say, swallowing the shapes.
"Exactly. But, again, only if you're comfortable."
"Jane didn't have an aneurysm. Something killed her, but not me, not any human. Something evil."
Ripley took a breath, nodding. "Stranger things have happened. And Noah, for what it's worth? I believe you."
** PRESENT DAY **
--
"I need a pack of cigarettes," Noah says, a few paces behind Matt, who repeatedly kept slowing down for him to catch up.  
He pointed ahead to the corner shop, Matt nodded in agreement.
"Probably something to wash that wood dust out of your mouth too. Cigs, though? You need to smash that shit, you know."
"Yeah, yeah, tell me more."
Matt rolled his eyes, a coy grin on his face. "I just want to keep you around as long as I can."
"I could quit smoking and get hit by a car next Tuesday. I could get stabbed tonight. Fuck, Jane could kill me in five seconds from now."
"Whoa, dark mood, much? Besides, none of that's happening to you."
Noah shrugged, "I mean, you can't possibly know that. But I appreciate the sentiment."
"You're right. Just maybe don't smoke in your house? It's not...great smelling in there."
"Eh, chalk it up to the other list of compliments from fancy ass Matt Pivouz," Noah laughed, pulling the last cigarette from his pack. He shrouded his hand around his face, trying to block the wind as he flicked his lighter.
"That's my new title. Every time you speak to me, address me as first name, 'fancy ass,' last name, 'Matt Pivous.'"
"Why are we friends?"
Matt elbowed him, snorting as they approached the corner store. Noah sat on the bench against the brick wall, looking up at Matt as he relaxed against the post of a street light.
"You've never smoked?" Noah asked, warming his hands on his pant leg.
"Nah. Once you've conquered heroin, the rest seems like a tease, anyway. I don't want to be addicted to anything that could kill me."
"Well shit," Noah takes a final drag, grinding the cigarette against the sidewalk before stuffing it with the others in his pack. "You'll never be able to have anything good in life, then."
"Oh, is that so?"
Noah stood to his feet, tossing his cigarette pack into the trashcan. "Yeah. We get addicted to anything that makes us happy, makes us feel any kind of good. Makes us...normal. You don't want to risk dying? You'll never live."
"Spoken from the very wise and thoughtful Noah Marshall, who spends his days wearing a striped beanie hat and leaving beer cans on the floor."
"Hey, beer is good. And leave the beanie out of it."
Noah pushed open the glass door, walking in as Matt waited on the bench.
Remy glanced up from behind the counter, giving Noah a small wave.
"Out of Camels?"
"And dignity, but who's asking?"
"You're a weird guy, Noah. I'm surprised that your last pack lasted you four days," he said, sliding a new one over.
"I, uh.."
"Shopped somewhere else? A pity," Remy laughed, leaning over the counter. He grabbed a snickers bar and placed it atop the box, gesturing to Noah. "We all need a pick me up, sometimes."
Noah smiled, handing Remy the money, and turned out of the shop.
"Homeward bound!" Matt shouted, his long legs carrying him quickly across the crosswalk.
Noah shook his head, suppressing a laugh. he tore open his snickers, taking a massive bite.
Matt froze in his tracks, so abruptly that Noah nearly knocked into him.
"What's up?" Noah asked, as Matt turned around slowly to face him.
"Keep your head down. Do not look up.  You hear me?" He said, making eye contact. "Let me handle this."
Noah nodded, his brow furrowed, and kept his head facing the concrete, following Matt's footsteps while he ate his candy.
His concern quickly faded away, a swarm of black bugs coating the ground. He rubbed his eyes, following Matt's request, keeping his head down.
The town seemed to wash away, darkness seeping in and overtaking everything around them. He was having a hard time keeping track of where Matt's shoes ended and where the bugs began, using the sleeve of his jacket to cover his nose, a heavy metallic scent surrounding them.
"Fuck you!" Matt yelled, and Noah's face instinctively shot up, looking around in horror at the scene Jane had painted for him.
A world of black, never ending darkness, and nooses swinging from the sky, his group of childhood friends dangling from them, blood beginning to boil up from the ground.
**
Matt swung punches through a thick mask of decaying membrane, the familiar low howling splintering in his ears. Trying to recite prayers in his head, he closed his eyes, quickly thinking of Vinny and the moment picking berries. A light, dim as it may be, appeared in his mind, guiding him further through the forest of sludge, his arms like hot shears as they cut through it.
The sound of wailing grew louder with each movement, piercing the air with a shrill burst of noise.
"Fuck you!" He screamed, his arm smacking into the same solidified figure he encountered at his mother's old house.
"Get away from me," he demanded, looking past the figure, its laugh taunting him.
He looked back at Noah, who broke his agreement to keep his head down, seeing him fall to his knees as he watched his friends hang from above.
Matt called out for his brother, but to no avail, flipping off the figure in front of him as he ran to Noah's side.
"It's not real," he said, breathing as if he'd been running for hours.
"It's my fault," Noah cried, his face coated in tears, shoulders heavy with each sob, "They're gone and it's my fault."
"No, they're not. Come on, look at me."
Matt grabbed the sides of Noah's face, staring into his eyes. "I know you're in there. Find me! Listen to my voice!"
Noah's eyes rolled back, a scattered web of black mold covering them, taking them back into his head. Matt grabbed Noah's shoulders, shaking him violently.
"No, no no no! You get your ass back here, Noah!"
Noah's body began to crumble beneath him, the darkness bubbling up, taking his remains with it.
Matt's knees hit the pavement, his body covered in soot and blood, vigorously wiping the remnants from his eyes. He collapsed entirely, his head pressed into the sidewalk.
"Noah, fuck. Come back to me."
His mind flashed visions of Noah's body eroding under his fingertips, the scent of ash and dirt clogging his sinuses. With everything he was, Matt cried, harder than he had for Vinny, harder than he had for himself.
"I'm ready," he whispered, shakily outstretching his arms to the sky, "Come
on, Vinny. Help a guy out."
His body flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning around to see Noah's face.
"You okay?"
Matt looked up, eyes darting around the evening sky and the world around them.
"Wh-What?  What happened?" he muttered, his face stained in anguish.
**
"Keep your head down. Do not look up.  You hear me?" He said, making eye contact. "Let me handle this."
I'm nodding, chewing this delicious Snickers. Let me tell you, I love Snickers.
"Fuck you!" Matt's screaming, and I'm looking up, looking around. Everyone's dead, hanging like ornaments, black, hot blood coming out of the ground. And bugs, so many fucking bugs.
But there's Katai, at the edge of it all, holding a hand out to stop me. So I stop, and they disappear, with everything else.
What the hell was that?
Matt's in a crouched, fallen position on the ground. I don't know what the hell he's doing. Put a hand on his shoulder, idiot.  
"You okay?"  
He's looking up at me like he's just seen into the eye of hell.
"Wh-what happened?"
"Um...what..what happened for you?"
And he's hugging me, like I've never been hugged before, like I'm somehow a light for him, and he can't stop filling his darkness.
So I'll hug him back, because he's my friend. I'll hug him the same way, because I'm twenty two years old, and Matt's the only thing I know exists right now.
Finally, he's pulling away, wiping his face. "Nothing. It's not important."
I don't know how I know this, but I know he won't tell me. I could beg him and he wouldn't tell me. Call it a hunch, but I think he saw me die back there.
"Matt, is everything okay?"
He nods, smiling at me.
"Everything is great. Let's get back to your place before it rains."
**
--
In front of Noah's door stood a middle aged woman, her short blonde hair blowing wildly in the wind.
"Who is that?" Matt asked, his voice low as he raised an eyebrow, turning to Noah.
"Darlene. My mother." Noah grit his teeth, jaw clenched, not meeting her gaze.
"You don't talk about her."
"She's nothing to me," he said, gathering his jacket closer to him. "She stopped caring about me the moment Jane died."
She crossed her arms, huffing as he and Matt approached. "Where the hell have you been?" She barked, flicking her arm outward, shrugging to the sky.
Noah stepped back, glaring at her. "Why are you here? Did Ula call you?"
"What?"
"Ula? ....My neighbor?"
"No, that woman did not call my phone. Why the hell would she call me, Noah?"
He shook his head, "I was just asking. What are you here for?"
"Noah, you need to get your shit together, there's a pile of cigarette butts spilling over this ashtray, I bet it smells like a god damn bar in your house-"
"Darlene, why the fuck are you here?"
"Oh, that's lovely. I raised my son to curse at his mother! Another fantastic result from my only living kid." She whipped her head around to face Matt, grimacing as she eyed him over.
"I'm Matt," he said, outstretching his arm to shake her hand. Noah glanced sidelong at him and he pulled his arm away before Darlene could react.
"And you are?"
"Noah's friend."
"Ha! Right. And you're here because?"
"Don't question his welcome. Why are you here, Darlene? I'm not asking again."
She turned to Noah, her eyes like brands on his skin. "I'm going out of town. You know the garage code. You need to come over on Wednesday and water my plants."
"What? I'm not doing that," Noah muttered, Matt noticing the way Darlene positioned herself to tower over him despite her slight frame. Noah was a solid foot taller, but the way she projected herself was the kind of intimidating that isn't always worth confronting, and Noah shrunk in her shadow.
Matt squared his shoulders, tensing his jaw as he watched Noah's body language, feeling protective over him. He knew that he'd do anything he had to, but in the same breath, he knew he couldn't shield Noah from her words.
You can deflect a bullet, he thought, but you can't make a sponge stop being a sponge.
"You will do that. Responsibility. Your father is sending a check to the house for you, come get it Wednesday, but do not step foot in my house unless you can do me that simple favor."
"Where is dad? Can you give me his number?"
"Noah, you don't even have a god damn cell phone, what do you need his number for? He sure as hell doesn't want to talk to you."
"I'm sensing a lot of animosity-" Matt started, Darlene swatting the air in his direction.
Noah took a breath, about to say something, but over Darlene's shoulder was Jane's face, standing behind her, the ground beginning to quake under their feet. Noah quickly found Matt's eyes, sharing a look of panic, Darlene seeming unphased as she continued to yell at him.
Jane's body seemed to root itself in the cement, branches snaking outward, splitting the ground beneath her. She howled, her voice like a curse, as if it could crack open the atmosphere and darken the sky.
Noah slammed his eyes shut, tapping his fingers on his pants, counting sevens.
"Noah, do I need to call that quack? What was his name? Ripley? Do you need to be in those four walls to straighten yourself out?"
He opened his eyes and Jane was gone, Matt's face crowded with confusion. And then he realized what she'd said, and quickly blurted, "You can't-"
"Oh, I can, and I will. You've got five boxes of shit at my house. Take them with you Wednesday. The garage code is Jane's birthday, as you should know."
"You mean their birthday?" Matt perked up, ignoring a stern look from Noah.
Darlene blinked at him, an irked, firey look on her face. "Excuse me?"
"Jane was Noah's twin. Which makes that his birthday too."
She smirked, scoffing. "Who are you to speak for my family?"
"Matt, don't-" Noah sighed, but Matt cut him off, speaking directly to Darlene, his eyes raging.
Matt's hands shook, lungs full of anger, composing all of the pain and rot and thoughts into one single outburst.
"Who are you to think you know the first thing about what it means to be family to anyone? You fucking abandoned your son because you decided to quit being a mother. And now what? Come to his doorstep, talk to him like he's shit? Treat him like he's not worthy of you?"
"He owes me!" She yelled, her face splotching red in anger, "He is the reason my baby girl is gone!"
"You weren't even a mother to one kid, what makes you think you ever could have handled two?"
Darlene's eyes widen, her face going sour as her hand wound back, smacking Noah across the face. He stumbled back, pressing the back of his hand to his cheek, the coolness from the air soothing the heat from the impact. She spit at Matt's feet, stomping to her parked car.
"I have no children," she hissed, slamming her door before peeling out of the parking spot.
Matt directed his attention to Noah, whose face had a large red welt forming over the skin.
"I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea-"
"...'s fine," he said, quickly unlocking his door and ducking inside, Matt following quickly behind.
"It isn't," Matt said, grabbing an ice tray from the freezer and cracking the cubes out, bundling them into a hand towel from the counter.
"Here," he pressed it gently to Noah's face, wincing at a bruise beginning to form near the top.
"Thanks," Noah mumbled, taking the ice from him.
"You okay? Fuck, Noah. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Seriously. I would have wound up with one of these any way you spin it."
Matt leaned forward, dropping his head in his hands.
"Is she always like that?" he asked, standing up and tossing his jacket on the chair. He started gathering trash from across the floor, Noah rolled his eyes, knowing he couldn't stop him.
"Let me help-"
"No, ice your face. I need to keep busy," he insisted, rummaging through cabinets to find cleaning supplies.
**
Of course, she's always like that. But how do you tell someone you're a pawn, a marionette at the end of a fraying string, the sum of words and ill wishes cultivated by your own mother?
When I was a kid, they always said sticks and stones could break our bones but words couldn't hurt us. I mean, they said that shit constantly, like they could speak it into existence. They were wrong.
Because I'm a concoction of insults and burnt edges, I'm a stick of dynamite lit from both ends, I'm a cracked panel, a shattered window, a busted tree branch. I'm everything they said wouldn't happen, I'm the whispers in the hall, the casket lining stained with embalming fluid, I'm the punchline of this god damn joke.
Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone.
How do you tell someone you're sorry? Like me, standing over Jane's empty grave, tossing a daisy on top of her pink casket, wondering if perhaps, maybe, in some other universe, she's in there. Knowing that her body is a conduit. Jane. My twin. She'll never know peace, she'll never know rest, she'll never get to meet the angels and touch the pearly gates like everyone always said she would. Instead she'll rot, just like me. Just like me.
Maybe we are still connected, after all. Bittersweet can't exist without the bitter, I guess.
"Yeah, she is," I say, because Matt needs an answer, I can see it crawling in his skin.
"You deserve better," he tells me, but he's wrong.
We paint karma so pretty. Wondering if we deserve this thing or that thing, must deserve the good more than the bad, must keep being good to get good.
Truth is? We deserve all of it. Whether it's heaven or hell, the sear or the healing, because we're human and we're all so fucked up.
But what does that mean for sanity? Because it'll dig its claws into you and shove you over the edge one way or another.
I'm fucked up, and so is Matt, and so was Jane, and so is Darlene. Maybe I haven't cried bloody mary this time, but yeah, I deserve it.
There's something so sinister about Karma. She'll rip through your skin if you let her.
"What about your dad?"
"I think he's in Milwaukee," I say, but I can't recall where he is. Some place starting with M.
"Was he an asshole?" He's tying a bag of trash, tossing it onto the porch.
"Nah. He just got sick of me."
"What?"
"When he picked me up from the facility. I told him the truth," and I did, and he hated me for it.
"That what? You see Jane?"
I'm nodding, and fuck, this welt hurts.
"He told me not to tell Darlene, to just...swallow it."
"That's why you got so good at hiding."
No, I go so good at hiding because everyone thinks I killed Katai.
"You didn't, though," he says, filling a glass of water.
...Did I say that out loud?
"Katai was like, your best friend as a kid, yeah?"
"Yeah."
He can tell I don't want to talk about them, glancing at me and giving me a small nod.
"Should we, uh..talk about Jane? What just happened out there?"
"I'd rather we just...didn't," I say, and that's true, because it won't help. It could never help.
"Good plan," he laughs, smiling at me from across the room.
I just close my eyes, letting the day take me.
"Go get some rest," he says, knocking my feet off of the table. "I'm here if something tries to fuck with you."
It isn't that they're gone with Matt around, because they're not. I feel them even more now, like thick needles puncturing my skin, building up in my brain, ready to explode. But I feel stronger, somehow, like maybe I can actually beat this. I know better, I do. But this is the most hope I've felt in awhile.
God, if you're real, if you can hear me, don't let it be for naught.
I'm in my bed, covers pulled up to my chin, curtains open for light. And my mind goes to Vinny, and the things he wrote in his journal.
** THREE YEARS AGO**
--
"Do you think you're better?" Dr. Ripley asks, crinkling open the wrapper around his butterscotch candy.
"I think...I might be."
"Okay, that's a start," he says, a smile on his face. "So tell me, what do you think you could still improve on?"
Noah stirs in his seat, burying his neck into his sweater as he sits back in the chair. He shrugs.
"I'll tell you what I think. I think you struggle primarily with trusting yourself."
"What does that even mean?"
"That means you're nervous, and rightfully so. Noah, in most cases with trauma victims-"
"I'm not a victim."
"Of course," Ripley continued, "You're a survivor."
Hardly, Noah thought.
"Anyway, it isn't foreign for people to experience self doubt. What we need to do is work on it and build from it, because, Noah, I do not think you need to remain in our care."
"But I'm not better yet?"
"I think you are. You know, I understand that you're nervous, scared, even. And that's okay. However, what's more frightening is not knowing yourself."
Noah looked to the side, tapping his arm in intervals of seven.
"We will keep working on it, okay? I'm here to help you."
Noah nodded, but to himself he scoffed.
I'm far beyond help.
Disclaimer : Characters I own are Matt Pivouz, Vinny Trovato, Lucia and Peter Trovato, Ula Santiago, Dr. Ripley, David, Anya, and Remy. I do not own the others. I’ve added a bit of a flare to them for the sake of this piece, but they do not belong to me.
Tag List : @teamtomsato @nuttatulipa @lovethemarshalltwins @europeanguy @breaumonts @fullbeaumonty @choicesatnight @spectrelier @brightpinkpeppercorn
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sunlitlion · 5 years
Text
candleverse chronicles | pt 0
so. astral projection. we all do it. 
okay, not all of us, but some of us do. and ya girl is no stranger to it. 
if you know of the slenderverse, specifically the everymanhybrid verse, you know of the candleverse. habit’s playground, the pocket between timelines and dimensions. 
i’m gonna astral project there. and im gonna keep all my notes here. in case anyone is stupid enough to follow my footsteps.
so, for anyone into emh but not witchcraft/astral work... here are some sources. (x), (x), (x) < that last one is a masterpost of resources for research purposes and those looking to astral travel.
a warning: if you want to astral travel, do NOT do what i’m doing. i’m not smart. this isn’t kosher. this isn’t a good idea. even with all of my precautionary measures im still putting my astral body at risk. if you really truly want to, you can PM me about it, and ill share my personal notes but i am NOT a professional. go forward at your own damn risk.
alright, so warnings aside, let’s get into the prologue.
i am lucky enough to have contact with an evan, a habit, and a noah/firebrand. if you believe in kin shit, call it that. if you believe in past lives, call it that. i personally call it a mix of past lives and a system. i am a spiritual person. don’t pm me, send an ask, or @. me about it because i’m not gonna respond.
i asked firebrand and evan about the candleverse and got their specific general advice for what it’s like, precautionary measures, and an escape plan. here’s what i was told, in transcript form:
firebrand || candleverse notes
general
- Mind tricks. Constantly changing. Do not trust your senses, rely only on your intuition, it’ll guide you.
- It looks like Princeton, New Jersey. Evan’s house is the exact centre, and the clearest part. Everything beyond it gets darker and harder to traverse through due to illusions and mindfuckery.
- There is a purple haze that surrounds the Candleverse. It’s safer, but harder to work out. Hide here, but don’t stay in one place for too long.
- The bridge is an OK spot. But don’t fall in the river. You’ll die in the astral.
protective measures
- Do NOT try to play offensively. It won’t work. You’re in Habit’s house.
- Use wards for hiding, and confusing anything that enters the vicinity.
- Use glamours to alter your astral body and make you into a spirit as unassuming as possible. Humans are what he wants.
- Keep your vibrations basic. Too low means you’ll be drained. Too high means you stick out.
- Get a glamour for any guides or thoughtforms you bring. (In my case, Figaro the thoughtform).
escape plan
- bring a power bank or totem that will give you just enough energy to make a door and leave if you need to in a moment’s notice.
evan || candleverse notes
general
- Do NOT interact with the Candle versions of Evan, Vinnie, and ESPECIALLY Jeff/Steph. Just don’t do it. They’re like big fucking beacons.
- Any kind of foliage is good. Trees, bushes. If a rabbit can hide in it, you’re good. A good rule of thumb is “Think like a rabbit.” So, the town is a good place to hide, but it’s also gonna be real confusing. Anywhere out in the open, you’re fucked.
- If your vibrations are high so you can keep up magic, places with moderate lighting are gonna be your best bet, so you’ll blend in. If you’re keeping your vibrations low to hide, keep to the edges and forest-y areas. Whatever makes you feel safest. Either way, you’re playing on the losing side in a game rigged in Habit’s favor.
- If you aren’t panicking, you’re giving off less energy, so you’re safer. Fear will stink you up, and it’ll catch Habit’s attention. Keep calm, you’ll stay safe.
- Cover the tracks of your spirit/thoughtform if they can’t do it themselves, or if they naturally produce magic. For example, my thoughtform Figaro is built to feed off of naturally occuring excess negative energy and build harm-shielding wards for himself and I from it. In the Candleverse, this process needs to be hidden.
- Piggybacking off of that point, a mosquito could fart and Habit would know. Any tiny move you make, any change to the verse, Habit will pick up on it. He might ignore it if it’s insignificant, but he might not. If you do something risky, your best bet is to get away from the mess, hide, and try not to leave a trail.
protective measures
- Only stay in for 15 minutes at first, up to 30 minutes. No longer than an hour. Time is slower in the Candleverse, but you’re gonna get exhausted, and it’s gonna get easier to find you. 
- Do not let Habit know you’re a human. You’re toast.
- Get better at improv. Learn how to play your part. If Habit approaches you, do NOT panic. Know what you’re supposed to be and act like it.
- Use DEFENSIVE wards and magic, not OFFENSIVE. Wards that protect you from harm make it seem like you’re EXPECTING Habit to attack you, and he might just. He’d definitely seek you out for it. Don’t make it seem like you’re ready for a fight.
escape plan
 - Make that power bank as inconspicuous as possible. Remember-- play the part.
- If you’re in a bind, or about to be caught, just make a break for the edge, find a place to hide, and calm down before leaving.
other
if you’re like me, and tend to crack under pressure or panic in the face of danger and make the wrong decision, then you’re gonna wanna practice beforehand.
there are all kinds of candleverses that take place in different areas of the timeline of EMH. start with a dead candleverse, in which there are no more traces of habit. you will know the difference because the energy they give off is pure white rather than dark purple.
live <-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> dead
dark purple  |   purple  |   blue purple  | pale purple  |  grey purple  |      white
this is the scale firebrand gave me in reference to this. the closer to white they get, the more dead the candleverse (meaning the less traces of habit, the safer!). 
another look at the scale
white verse - no traces of habit, little to no traps or illusions, dawn/sunrise
grey purple verse - just a hint of habit, slightly more traps and illusions, midday
pale purple verse - a little of habit, a moderate amount of traps and illusions, afternoon
blue purple verse - half habit, slightly more traps and illusions, sunset/evening
true purple verse - mostly habit, many traps and illusions, dusk
dark purple verse - habit is live and present and on the prowl, a fuckton of traps and illusions, dead of night
i was also lucky enough for firebrand to be willing to get in contact with other firebrands, as all noah’s stick together, and they might be able to give me a little extra help. pending.
map
firebrand and evan helped me to draw out this rough sketch of the map, but it will be updated as I explore.
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as i said, it’s very rough, but here’s a key.
☆ - safe for hiding purposes
* - unsafe
X - immediate death
``` - light source (the more light, the more unsafe)
🌀 - entrance point
EH - Evan’s House, the center of the Candleverse. UNSAFE.
Town - Just as the name implies. Good for hiding but, very dark and confusing. Take it slow.
B - Buildings. Decrepit, good for hiding.
N.E.H. - Never ending house. If you recall, in Bridge to Nowhere, Noah went up and down this stairwell repeatedly. Unsafe.
Bridge - Bridge to Nowhere. Moderately safe. Don’t stay on for too long.
P.G. - Playground. Moderately unsafe.
Open Space - Not good. No hiding spots.
Forest - Very dark, but good for hiding. Lots of foliage.
River - Runs through the forest and under bridge. Instant death upon touching.
Habit tends to stay around the more lighted areas. Do not by any means go near or enter Evan’s house. Just don’t do it.
protective measures
so, we all decided that lots and lots of defensive magic is your best bet. cover up the fact that you’re human first and foremost. if, like me, your energy is bright and beaming, make an energy mask to cover that. put up wards with multiple layers. put up illusion glamours with multiple layers. run, hide, camouflage. you’re a rabbit here.
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here’s what im doing specifically. lemme go over it.
defensive-offensive ward - protects from anything you deem to be harm. it won’t do much for you at that point. if all of your other wards/glamours have failed at this point, you’re fucked anyway. its basically one last line of defense if all else fails.
illusion/energy mask - this is to change your energy. its to cover up your human parts. make it strong. make it powerful. make it work. if habit gets a single SNIFF of your human pussy, your ass if grass and he’s gonna mow it.
appearance glamour - this is to change your appearance and all. make you look not human. idc what you look like, im choosing a hazy kinda shadowy unassuming spirit type thing. look lost, not like a tourist.
camouflage ward -  this is gonna make you blend in to the foliage and shit much better. keep you under the radar. you are a cat in the night. a simple breath in the breeze, you feel. you ARE the dancing queen. 
hidden/hiding illusion - same deal, but this makes it harder to track you if you hide. hide well, don’t fuck this up. its literally your astral body on the line, maybe even your astral life. but don’t worry, as long as you hide your cord and keep it in tact, you can come back. just give it a few moon cycles.
and thats basically all ive got in preperation for this trip. ill keep cc updates coming as they happen. my first trip is tomorrow (Tuesday, March 19, 2019), around 5:00 PM CT.
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amairawrites · 6 years
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Writing your opening scene
A functional first scene in any story needs to accomplish a few things.
Introduce your protagonist and their current situation
Kick off the plot, create the major conflict, and/or introduce the antagonist
End on a note that makes the reader want to keep reading
Behind the cut, I’ll go into more detail, using To Be Vulnerable as my primary example, along with Splanky by @ladymac111 and for the things you tame by @decidedlysarah (many thanks to both of them for allowing me to use their stories as examples), and explaining why a light touch often works the best. Heads up, this will be really long. And, in keeping with my usual style, it’s just a bunch of barely-organized rambling.
Introducing your protagonist and their current situation
The goal here is not to describe your protagonist so well that the reader knows everything about them, or to bombard your reader with every facet of your protagonist’s inner struggle. Rather, you want the reader to care about the protagonist. Superficial detail, like hair color or parents’ names or favorite food, bog down the flow of the scene and distract from the reader’s focus on the protagonist. These things can be left out entirely until they are directly relevant. 
Here’s how I approached Keith’s introduction in TBV:
Hands in his pockets, Keith shuffled down the nameless streets of the run-down city he reluctantly called home. The sky was dark with an evening sun obscured by clouds, threatening a cold winter rain, but business had been slow the past few weeks and, well, he needed to eat eventually. He had $20 in his pocket, though, from a quiet customer who only wanted a handjob.
Obviously, as the writer, I knew everything about Keith’s life and character at this point. I had to select the detail that was the most appropriate and made the most sense. Keith “needed to eat eventually,” so he was food insecure, and occasionally prostituted himself when he got desperate enough. He had no real attachment to where he was living. He walked in a way meant to draw as little attention to himself as possible.
As the scene unfolded, I dropped a few more details about Keith when they became relevant. He didn’t own much of anything. Despite being an occasional prostitute, he was uncomfortable with doing anything beyond oral sex.
Shiro’s introduction in for the things you tame was much more violent and bleak.
This was probably the day he died, Shiro reflected. If he was lucky. If he was unlucky, he would die sometime in the next week after several more days of torture. Sure, he could draw it out—feed the Don's goons some bad information, stall for time. The force might—might—negotiate a deal for his release. If they were smart, they'd wash their hands of him. He wasn't worth it; just a low level cop who got caught undercover. He'd fought for time for his partner, Matt, to get out, and that was worth it. He could die silent and with his honor: no regrets.
We got a few clear details about him, chief among them that he expected to die. His characterization there, as someone who was at peace with that because he believed he was doing the right thing, made him a very sympathetic character right off the bat.
@decidedlysarah then jumped straight into making the reader’s heart hurt even more for Shiro: he’d been whipped, he was in intense pain, and he was so close to blacking out that he could barely hear.
One of the advantages of fanfiction is that the reader base already knows who the characters are. @ladymac111 used this to her advantage in Splanky, with a short and heavily dialogue-driven opening scene that introduced everything via text messages and friendly snarking between siblings. There, the focus in introducing Pidge as main character was on setting up what we didn’t already know about her from the show.
Pidge's phone whistled in her pocket, a familiar riff that never failed to make her smile every time one of her dancing friends texted her.
"Ugh." Matt flopped over dramatically and put his feet in her lap. "There's nothing interesting in your life since you broke up with Kate."
"Good riddance to her."
We could glean just from this that the main characters from VLD were recast in a group of friends who all danced together. Also that Pidge had dated women in the past – that becomes relevant later in the story.
In all of these stories, the protagonist’s introduction is short, simple, and effective. Details appeared as they become relevant: Keith’s clothing in TBV when he changed his jacket and Shiro’s clothing when he noted the suit sticking to his wounds. Pidge’s religious beliefs when she and Hunk were shown playfully respecting each other’s.
But none of these stories are plotless character studies, so the authors all need to do something with them.
Kicking off the plot, creating the major conflict, and/or introducing the antagonist
This is often referred to as creating the significant situation. Something has to happen to make the story move; that is what you want to trigger here. Again, simpler is better. If there’s a political intrigue, lay out just enough to shake up the protagonist’s corner of the world; after all, they won’t necessarily know everything else that’s going on. If there’s a romance, introduce it without delving into the love interest’s life story – or even consider the Pride and Prejudice approach, where Mr. Bingley is mentioned only in name and rumor long before he meets Jane, but his possible influence is undeniable.
TBV has multiple aspects to it, and the opening scene is quite long compared to the other two examples.
Keith was immediately thrust into a sense of upheaval when he discovered his hideout was no longer private. 
Another pile of rags indicated that another vagrant had taken up residence against the opposite wall.
Keith sighed. He’d have to move again. He’d need even more money to tide him over until he could build up a new customer base.
Back on the street, then.
With the loss of that stability, he went back out to work the streets again, where he came across the antagonist. The antagonist was the second character introduced, though Keith already knew him and his status as antagonist (rather than throwaway character) wouldn’t become clear until much later. He was pushy with Keith about sexual acts –
“Been a while, Pretty Boy,” the driver said, blue eyes narrowed. “What’s on offer tonight?”
Keith scowled. “Same as always. Handjobs for twenty and blowjobs for fifty.”
[...]
“And for, say, three hundred?”
“A lot of blowjobs or handjobs,” Keith answered flatly.
The guy waved a dismissive hand at him. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Blowjob. Get in.”
– eventually to the point of attempted assault to get what he wanted.
He yanked Keith off of him and nearly threw him against the passenger seat. A hand clamped down on Keith’s neck, sending his heart racing. His limbs ached with the panic flooding through them.
“I’ve been patient, and I’ve been generous. Now, Pretty Boy, you’re going to give me what I really want.”
Keith trembled. “No.”
A meaty hand pawed at his jeans, then unzipped them. “Don’t worry, you’ll be compensated fairly.”
These traits will hold true later, even as his character develops into something more complex.
The attack left Keith scared and unsure, another layer of upheaval. He retreated to the only place he considered safe (Vinny’s), and there he saw an advertisement for the Garrison and came to a decision about what he wanted to do.
Keith looked up from his gyros, staring at the commercial in confusion. Uniformed teenagers and adults alike stood in the desert, leaned over airplane cockpits, sat in classrooms filled with all manner of technical charts. A shuttle launched. A team of fighter jets wove complicated patterns through the sky.
“Go to one of those military schools. They’ll straighten your shit out.” He turned up the volume enough for Keith to hear the tail end of it.
“– at the Galaxy Garrison in Garrison, Arizona. Together, working for a brighter future.”
Strips of meat slid out of the pita and onto the plate, but Keith barely noticed that his next bite was all bread and onion. Arizona was only one state over; he could jump on one of those long-haul buses and be there the next day, if he wanted to.
An odd, heavy feeling that had nothing to do with the gyros settled in his gut.
Working for a brighter future.
He could use a brighter future.
That choice, that decision, kicked off the rest of the story.
The opening scene in for the things you tame is much shorter, as it is a short story (22k words, rather than my estimate of 150k for TBV when it’s eventually finished).
Shiro’s situation was already examined in the previous section. He expected to die; he didn’t expect to be saved from that death by someone dangerous.
But he recognized the voice, didn't he? He tried to focus. That one, just now, was the Don's son. Lotor? But he was talking to... Kay. Shit.
Kay was standing next to him now. He had a knife and he used the tip to force Shiro's chin up. Kay's lips curled in a dark smile.
“Can I keep him?” he asked. This to Lotor.
Shiro couldn't hear what Lotor said, but he definitely caught Kay's response: “He won't turn me down this time.”
And thus the plot burst into being: Shiro was afraid of Kay (implied by the internal reaction of ‘shit’ when he recognized the voice), and Kay wanted to keep him.
It’s not all dark, depressing, and violent. Splanky is an adorable story of friendship growing into love. There’s little in the way of direct conflict, and no one is an antagonist. So in the first scene, @ladymac111 had to drop just enough detail about the coming relationship growth for the reader to pick up on it. As Hunk texted Pidge:
Question for you. So you know I'm teaching the beginner drag blues class at Lindyfest this year like I always do, but I need a partner.
Pidge's heart thumped weirdly in her chest. Shay isn't doing it??
And, after getting a few more details, Pidge responded and then worried about her word choice:
"You're weirdly quiet," Matt said.
"Shut up." She stared at the phone for a little too long before she could will her thumbs to move. That sounds good. I'd love to teach the class with you. Shit, shouldn't have said love.
Between the racing heart, staring at the phone, and the immediate concern about using the word ‘love,’ it was clear that love was something Pidge tended to overthink in relation to Hunk. And, more specifically, the idea that she would love slotting herself into the role usually occupied by Hunk’s girlfriend. At no point is any of that openly stated; it was implied, simply and cleanly, by the minimal details around their text messages.
@ladymac111 even dropped a hint of the secondary plot arc, the different religious beliefs characters held (all treated incredibly respectfully throughout the story, so major props for that), as Hunk wished Pidge a happy Hanukkah.
But these stories are all more than just their first scenes, and now that they’ve drawn the reader in, they all need something to keep them.
Ending on a note that makes the reader want to keep reading
By the end of your first scene, your protagonist should have changed from who they were at the start, and the world should be just a little different to them. If they’re exactly the same, you wrote a character study and not the beginning of a story. If there is no remaining conflict, if the antagonist is already defeated, or if the plot has no direction by the time the first scene is over, you just wrote a one-shot and not the opening of a larger work. Readers only want to keep reading if there is something still at stake, something still on the horizon.
All three opening scenes built up some kind of dramatic tension: in TBV, it’s the huge and ambitious change that Keith was faced with; in for the things you tame, it’s Shiro’s expected death sentence being commuted into some unclear servitude to Kay; in Splanky, it’s Pidge taking on a role in Hunk’s class that she hadn’t before.
And all three had an open ending, where the choices and changes were left unexplored, and the reader would want to keep reading to see what happens next.
Keith considered leaving for the Garrison, but the scene ended before he actually did so. 
Shiro blacked out before he could hear any more, and before his internal perspective could process Kay’s comment of “He won't turn me down this time.”
Pidge distracted herself from her internal conflict by snarking with Matt, thus avoiding thinking on the feelings long enough to make sense of them.
And in all of those, there’s something new at stake, something the reader wants to know more about.
Thanks for reading, everyone, and I definitely recommend you take a look at the fics I referenced here!
To Be Vulnerable – by yours truly
for the things you tame – by @decidedlysarah​
Splanky – by @ladymac111
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closetofanxiety · 6 years
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Show Review: Ring of Honor/NJPW “War of the Worlds” Night One
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Lowell, Massachusetts: The Flowering City! Kerouac Town! Home to the second-largest population of Cambodians in the United States, and more abandoned textile mills than you can shake a stick at! 
Let’s see how this momentous clash of companies shook out:
What: Ring of Honor/NJPW “War of the Worlds” Tour, Night One
Where: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
When: Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Who: I’ve seen crowd counts that put attendance between 1,200 and 1,500, and that sounds right to me. If it wasn’t a sellout, it was close. The place was packed to the rafters, and fully two-thirds of the people in attendance were wearing Bullet Club t-shirts. I went there after visiting multiple notable graves (one haunted), an abandoned mill turned into a kind of weirdo shopping mall, an abandoned mill turned into a national historic site, and a park named after Jack Kerouac where drunks were sleeping on the ground at 4 p.m., which is pretty appropriate when you consider that Kerouac drank himself to death.
Dark Match: Brad Hollister and Justin “Hammer” Tunis vs. The Dawgs
Hollister and Tunis are locals; I have seen them many times. Nice to see them getting a dark match. The Dawgs are new to me. I guess it’s Rhett Titus and Will Ferrara. Did you ever collect baseball cards? You know how the cards for all the bench players were grouped under the pejorative rubric “commons,” as in, “That pack of cards I bought was a bust, nothing but commons”? I kind of thing of Rhett Titus as a good example of that in wrestling. Not bad, not sensational, does the job he needs to do, but doesn’t really linger in the memory. This was a totally conventional tag team wrestling match. The crowd stirred briefly, after Hollister delivered a picture-perfect suplex. The Dawgs won. The cosmic wheel turns on.
Rating: Two Kerouacs.
The Briscoe Brothers vs. Jushin Thunder Liger and Flip Gordon
I haven’t been following ROH, but I guess the Briscoes are heels right now? They were lustily booed. Jay looked fantastic with his hair all matted and long and some kind of necklace of primitive fetishes around his neck. He looked like a chiseled, angry Dr. John who instead of learning to play the piano started a voodoo-based crime syndicate. I forget how much I like the Briscoes, but they are among my favorites. Holy cow, Flip Gordon is over with this crowd. Huge pop and “Flip! Flip! Flip!” chants. Liger, obviously, also gets a huge ovation. This match is entirely about Flip befuddling the enraged Briscoe cavemen with his arsenal of acrobatic dodges and counters. Liger comes in as a hot tag, but doesn’t really do anything spectacular. He doesn’t have to, my God, he’s Jushin Liger. He’s earned his elder statesman tag team apron-dweller spot. This match was a lot of fun. Not a sprint, but a condensed version of classic tag team wrestling, with some distinctive flourishes. The Briscoes wrestled like heels, denying the crowd anything spectacular (their post-tag tandem offense basically consisted of Mark holding Flip while Jay kicked him repeatedly) until the finish. I don’t know how to describe it, but it looked to be like a Razor’s Edge off the top into a cutter. It was nuts. Flip took the pin. I should note here that I had a terrible seat and couldn’t see three quarters of the ring, so I stood up against the back wall for most of the night. 
Rating: Three and a half Kerouacs.
Deonna Purrazzo and Skylar vs Tennille Dashwood and Sumie Sakai
I want you to notice something here, something that would prove to be the theme of the evening: tag team wrestling. Our third match, and third tag team match, was a Women of Honor showcase for four babyfaces, which is always something of a heat vacuum. The crowd likes all these women. It was Skylar’s ROH debut; about two years ago, I was there when she had her first-ever wrestling match. It’s crazy to think how much progress she’s made. She’s still a little green, though, and the other three are obviously a category above her at the moment. Not much of a story here beyond Deonna occasionally walking up to the brink of being a heel, although I don’t know if that’s deliberate or if that’s just part of our bleak, nihilistic world now. The jury’s still out on whether Tennille is another example of WWE totally missing the boat on someone; she’s good in the ring, she has undeniable charisma, but she hasn’t developed a character beyond Person Who Wrestles And Occasionally Shouts “It’s All About Me.” When you think about it, this was kind of her problem in the WWE. She pins Skylar. After the match, Kelly Klein runs out to beat on Purrazzo and the two of them have a pull-apart. I noticed that Northeast Wrestling tag team stalwarts Adrenaline Rush were among the black-shirted security guards. Lots of familiar faces tonight!
Rating: Two and a half Kerouacs.
At this point, Dalton Castle comes out. He’s billed for a title defense against Matt Taven. There’s a brief “Rusev Day” chant for some reason, which, smdh. A segment of this crowd also chanted “You can’t wrestle” at Brandi Rhodes when she walked out before the show. I’m not sure how to characterize the ROH audience. There are too many of them to just be the indie wrestling diehards, but there are no casual fans among them either. It’s a weird group. 
Anyway, Castle cuts a meandering promo saying that he’s injured and can’t wrestle, although he’s not vacating the title. Matt Taven’s mom stands up and boos the shit out of him at this point, and good for her. Castle says he’s going to treat us to brunch instead. It’s past 8 p.m., but that’s probably still brunchtime in parts of Brooklyn. The Boys come out and throw croissants to the crowd. You call this brunch? Not even a damn mimosa?
The Kingdom vs. Coast to Coast
Matt Taven comes out with fellow Kingdomites TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia and cuts a promo calling Dalton Castle “a babyback bitch.” Taven’s grandfather, a dignified elder gentleman with a walker and an oxygen tank, is at ringside. I wonder what he thinks of hearing his grandson use that language. Maybe he taught it to Taven. Maybe he thought, “I’ve never been more proud. Especially because Dalton Castle is truly a babyback bitch.” 
Has any wrestling faction had a stranger evolution than The Kingdom? Remember when it was Matt Hardy, Adam Cole, Michael Bennett, and Maria Kanellis? And then Hardy left, and Taven joined, and they would do the Four Horsemen hand gesture? And now it’s Taven and Taven’s Friends? Don’t get me wrong, I like TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia fine, it’s just they’re not exactly Matt Hardy and Adam Cole. 
But they are here tonight, and they are wrestling, and so far we are 4 for 4 on tag team matches. I don’t know who Coast to Coast are. They are, like Rhett Titus, the wrestling equivalent of commons, at least to me. This match is fine. There are some shenanigans when Horror Man Marseglia pulls Coast to Coast and the referee under the ring and some red balloons come out, a la “It.” But then the guys just get out and run back into the ring. Commit to this gimmick, ROH: have them be bloody, mangled corpses (I mean, kayfabe-wise). 
The Kingdom lose this match due to interference from SoCal Uncensored, and so we have a six-man tag match later tonight, because of course we do.
Rating: Two Kerouacs.
Bully Ray vs. Cheeseburger
BULLY RAY IS BACK IN ACTION IN LOWELL! That’s WWE Hall of Famer Bully Ray to you, pal. His entrance video keeps flashing the words “Hell’s Kitchen,” but he grew up in Queens. Why not claim Queens, Bully Ray? Hell’s Kitchen these days is not exactly a terrifying place; it’s full of Wall Street finance industry dickheads. It’s not even Hell’s Kitchen anymore, they call it “Clinton” now. O for the days when the Irish mob would shoot out your kneecaps on West 44th Street! 
This is a squash, with Bully Ray delivering an uncontested succession of power bombs to Cheeseburger, much to the displeasure of the crowd. Bully Ray leaves the ring to glare menacingly at some fans - THAT’S HOW THEY DO IT IN HELL’S KITCHEN, ER, CLINTON - and is counted out. Cheeseburger wins! Unfortunately, this means more power bombs.
Although I didn’t know it at the time, this would be the only singles match of the night.
Rating: N/A
Roppongi 3K vs. Marty Scurll, Hangman Page, and Cody Rhodes
Ring of Honor is really hot right now, maybe the hottest it’s ever been. They just had their largest show ever in New Orleans, and they’re comfortably drawing 1,000+ houses every night. It feels weird, though, like it’s borrowed glamour. It’s all from the Bullet Club/New Japan stuff, and although I realize there’s overlap, it doesn’t feel like a lot of the excitement is Ring of Honor excitement. The ROH stalwarts, guys like the Briscoes and Jay Lethal, feel like afterthoughts right now, as angles are booked around plot twists in “Being the Elite” and buildings are full of fans in New Japan shirts. 
Still, the fervor is undeniable, and the roof practically lifts off the place for the Bullet Club Threesome, although there is definitely a smattering of “You suck!” judgments hurled at Cody. 
This is basically like an NBA All-Star Game; no one is playing defense, no one is really taking it seriously, and it’s a lot of fun to watch. It doesn’t mean anything and no one is going to be talking about this match in 10 years or 5 years or even two weeks, but at the moment, for the day that’s in it, it’s fine. Everyone does his thing, Roppongi 3K get a lot of offense in, “Being the Elite” plotlines are advanced when Marty accidentally kicks that guy in the bear costume and gets berated by Cody. 
Bullet Club win, because that’s what the crowd came to see. Too sweet! Woop woop! Too sweet! Woop woop!
Incidentally, I’m reading the book “The People Who Eat Darkness,” which centers on the disappearance of a woman who was a nightclub host in Roppongi, so suddenly Rocky Romero’s team name seems sinister to me.
Rating: Three Kerouacs.
INTERMISSION
Before the show, there was a meet and greet session. We waited in a big long line inside the venue and people got really excited when first Naito, and then the Bullet Club, walked by to get to their tables. Lots of too-sweeting. Less excitement for Daniels and Kazarian, who weren’t part of the official meet and greet but who brought their own table to sell things. That’s how you do business, folks. Always bring your own table to shows, so you don’t have to put up with ROH’s red tape.
In order to get your picture taken, you had to buy a ticket, like when you go to a carnival or fair or something, and then present that ticket to the wrestler, who I guess would hand them all in at the end of the night in exchange for money. I was near the front of the line, so I bought a ticket for Naito. It worked out really well. I assumed the line for his table would be way too long, but because of Sinclair Broadcasting’s ruthless bureaucratic efficiency, I got to meet Mr. Tranquilo. 
Also, I want to doff my cap to whoever programs the music to play at ROH events. Cock Sparrer’s “Because You’re Young” sounds phenomenal over a real PA system, and how often do you hear Cock Sparrer songs in public?
EVIL, SANADA, and Naito vs. Silas Young, the Beer City Bruiser, and Brian Milonas
Crowd goes nuts for Los Ingobernables de Japon, of course. Naito gets a crazy ovation and sustained chant of “NAITO! NAITO! NAITO!” That’s how you can tell an ROH crowd isn’t just indie diehards; unlike indie crowds, ROH crowds can keep a chant going. I always want to call Silas Young either Paul Silas or Silas Marner. The Beer City Bruiser is like a real-life version of parody Wrestling Twitter account Jumpin Jim Grabowski, and Milonas is a New England guy. Lots of heat on Milonas, both from people who have seen him at shows before (the indie diehards) and people who scream at him for being fat (the ROH fans proper). 
This has the same NBA All Star vibe as the previous match, except Silas, Bruiser, and Milonas are not exactly all stars. Perfectly fine, perfectly good mid carders, but there’s a lot of star power on the other side of the ring. Milonas stops Naito from doing the Tranquilo pose and gets maybe the loudest heel reaction of the night. This match is what it is. It’s fun to see the NJPW guys, even doing like 20 percent of their normal repertoire. LIJ win, naturally.
Rating: Two and a half Kerouacs.
Jay Lethal vs. Jay White vs. Chuck Taylor
Taylor was a last-minute addition to the card and gets a crazily enthusiastic welcome. They avoid the usual trap of triple threat matches - one guy takes a powder outside the ring while a standard one-on-one happens - by essentially making this a handicap match, with Taylor and Knife Pervert Jay White teaming up against Lethal. This was my favorite match of the night. It told a reasonable story, the wrestlers are all compelling and played to their strengths (Lethal as heroic babyface, Taylor as chaotic neutral comedian, White as creepy weirdo), and there was decent action all around. Instead of kicking out of each other’s finishers, they would simply tease the finish, have the crowd react, and then have the intended victim escape at the last second. Very effective. Jay Lethal hits Lethal Injection on Knife Pervert and is about to win when Taylor swoops in with an inside cradle to pick up the win. Genuine surprise and a huge pop from the crowd.
Rating: Three and a half Kerouacs.
ROH Six Man Tag Team Championship Match: SoCal Uncensored (c) vs. The Kingdom
Having already seen TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia wrestle a full match, I was not jazzed for this bout. Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian are freaks of nature, though, and always find a way to deliver. Daniels in particular still manages to wrestle the way he did 10 or even 15 years ago, which is absolutely insane when you think about it. A lot of decent stuff here, although I admit I was not in the right mood for it. The Kingdom win in a mild upset and we have new six-man tag team champions. Taven celebrates at ringside with his grandfather, with nary a babyback bitch in sight. 
Rating: Three Kerouacs
The Young Bucks vs. Hiromu Takahashi and BUSHI
The first time I saw the Young Bucks in person was a little over three years ago. They seemed absurdly popular then, and it’s amazing to think how much bigger they’ve gotten since. At this point, it sort of doesn’t matter what they do, the spectacle is the whole point of the event, so credit to them for still working hard to put together a wrestling match. This is very much NBA All Star territory, but more like one of those games where one absurdly competitive weirdo like Kobe Bryant decides he’s going to play really hard, and is countered by a similarly competitive weirdo on the opposite. This seesawed between “hey we’re havin’ a blast here” and “can you top this, you babyback bitch.” Lots of crazy stuff happening here, some near falls that actually felt like near falls, and the Bucks winning with the Meltzer Driver, sending the Bullet Club shirted masses home happy.
Rating: Three and a half Kerouacs 
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