The best part about making transformers ocs is getting to choose the most heavy handed cliche tech-sounding name for them

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

Painting Tutorial

Disclaimers !!! (important)

I’m not an expert or teacher.

There is an infinite number of ways you can paint. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO PAINT! This is how I do it / how I was taught to do it.

I’m doing this (during mars 2020) because I’m getting restless during the global quarantine. If you want to paint but you don’t have the supplies: PLEASE don’t go out to buy supplies. This is not a necessity so please stay safe. Also, if you’re considering buying art supplies on the internet ask yourself if it is necessary (like if you have an assignment/it’s part of your job/...) and try to minimize the strain on delivery services for non-essential supplies.

This post will still exist in a few months. I’ll even self-reblog it at the end of the lockdown so that, if you’re still interested, it’ll be here.

I’m going to make fan art for @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels​ (madsthenerdygirl on AO3) and her witcher fic “Even Steel Blades Need Fire” that you can find here.

I’m trying to make a non-spoiler piece, but I’ll talk about the fic (so spoilers!) during the process. If you have not read her fic and you don’t want to get spoiled, go read it before you continue.

I started painting two years ago, and I remember vividly my struggles in the beginning. Painting can be confusing, and I am going to assume that people with no experience are going to read this.

I’ll be explaining the painting process in-depth so LONG POST (I guess) and stay tuned for updates !!! (yay)

I think that’s all. 

Let’s start !!!

Here we have it all! All the supplies (and some) I use when painting with acrylic paint.

First, note that you don’t need all these supplies to paint. Most of the time I do it with less, but this is a tutorial so...

1. Paper

Good news, you don't need to have a canvas to paint !!! You can just use paper (cool right?!).

Any size is ok, but I prefer to paint big (this paper here is on the smaller side. I usually paint on “grand aigle” paper or “double grand aigle”. Which translates to “great (?) eagle”. Look it up!). 

Here I’ll be using a 65x50 cm piece (called “format raisin”/ “grapes format”...)

I advise to use 200gms (or 200g/m2) or more but 180g can work too.

225gms and 250gms are my personal favourites.

2. Something to protect the surface you are painting on. 

when I started painting I was super messy. I had no control over the paintbrush/the paint/etc..

I recommend using something (cardboard, plastic bag (not the best...), or newspaper) to cover up where you're going to paint. 

The smaller your paper, the more likely you are to spill paint next to it.

On that note, when I started painting I used to wear a chemistry lab coat to protect my clothes. 

It can save you when you least expect it (read: the whole bottle of paint falls and explodes everywhere). Now I stopped doing that (bad) but I don't really care about my clothes and also painting in your underwear when you're alone is fun.

remember to remove any jewellery (RINGS!!!) (you don't want to scrape off dried paint of off jewellery).

Don't wear gloves. (acrylic paint washes of with soap and hot water). Plus gloves are going to make your hands sweat and I don't recommend wearing them for long periods.

have a towel nearby or something at your disposal (but only use old stuff. you will probably never get all the paint stains off. I use my old lab coat.)

where you are painting is important too. When I started painting I liked using an easel. If you don't have an easel, that's ok. I don't have access to one during this quarantine business, so I'm doing sans-easel.

Also, I prefer to paint on the ground or on a table (depending on the cleanness of the ground and the paper size. if it's too big for one table, I sometimes use two side by side but it's not really practical).

Also with bigger papers, an easel can be impractical = you can't reach the top/bottom easily and you tire very easily.

Here is something my teacher used to tell us: 

“Don't sit on a chair.”

Explanation: when using a chair your paintings tend to look "tired" or "sloppy" (Idk how to describe it, but for better results try to stand up)

however if you are doing:

a big piece

painting for a long time

or you have medical issues that make standing up for a long time painful

 then I recommend either having a chair nearby to take "sitting" breaks or painting on the ground.

In all cases take breaks! 

Second advice from my teacher: 

“Don't listen to music while you paint.”

Explanation: when painting you want to avoid "coloring" with brushstrokes that go left-right and up-down all the time. when listening to your music you will unintentionally start following the rhythm of the music with your strokes and making them repetitive. Similarly, I noted that I'm slower when listening to music because I tend to focus more on the music than on what I am painting.

BUT, I know someone who makes these beautiful, giant paintings on bedsheets, which take like weeks to complete and with lots of details. And guess what? Not only does she sit down but she also listens to music while doing so.

In conclusion, it's up to you. but if you struggle painting: try sitting down/standing up/ taking more breaks/ turn on/off your music...

3. Paint pallets

Ok, so here again it's up to personal preferences.

you can use a

plastic/wood/glass pallet (that you re-use every time)

or you can use

disposable paint pallets/a piece of cardboard/paper plates (that you reuse a couple of times before throwing away).

At first, I started to use plastic pallets but I kept trying to clean them at the end of each lesson and I was losing so much time... (note: I found that bigger pallets with no little "holes" work the best).

Problems:

If the paint is dry it’s super difficult to get it off without soap or other types of cleaning products.

You use a lot of water to clean it and paint gets in the sewers.

An alternative is disposable pallets like on the picture (or cardboard/paper plates). you don't have to clean them, it's super cheap/free and a lot lighter.

Problems:

you can't use them forever and will need to throw it away (or recycle them into weird paintings).

If you use straight-up cardboard and try to mix a lot of water in your paint it will make a mess and destroy your pallet.

4. Water dish

Anything that holds water and that you don't use to drink is ok. Remember you will probably never get all the paint off.

5. Paintbrushes

Okay, this is the weird part where I tell you that "paintbrush" is "pinceau" in french and that the word comes from the Latin  "penicillum" which means "small tail" or "penis". Also, there's this text (of which I don't remember de name or the author) but it discusses the implication of artist's preferences for certain types of paintbrushes when you compare them to penises and it's silly and fun but now I need to talk about the paintbrushes I use and I don't want to make this awkward, so just forget what I just wrote there.

Let's see. I grouped and ranked each brush from A to G depending on how much I use them.

A) My personal favourites, that I use all the time: they are mostly round brushes.

There's a big one that's actually to paint walls but works well when I need to cover big surfaces

then a few tiny/flats with rounded tips for detail (called ”Filbert”)

a couple of medium/rounds 

and this flat squared tipped (called “Flat” or “Bright”) for when I need to get clean edges.

B) Medium/flat and square tipped brushes I use the same way as the big round.

C) These ones I use when the others are already in use and I need a clean brush. the problem is that some of them have these synthetic bristles that are super bendy and I don't like it.

D) Some more small brushes for detail. I sometimes use them for watercolour because they can hold a lot of water. See how they have a shorter handle? Long handle = for easel painting (because then you can get further away). The small handle = not for easel painting.

To be honest I don't really care. it's not super important (but I prefer the long handle ones).

E) These are really tiny small round brushes that can be used for even smaller detail (but I don't use them a lot).

F) I never use this paintbrush. the bristles are super soft and fur-like and see how they're pointing outward instead of inwards, and don’t make a point? yeah, I can't do anything with that.

G) Please, PLEASE, for the love of god do not use these types of brushes with acrylic paint. they're for ink painting and calligraphy and other stuff. They're super expensive and a pain to wash. I've seen people use them with paint and I don't judge but personally, it just feels wrong to use them with paint.

General tips to keep in mind when buying brushes:

Size matters.

The bigger the better.

Hog bristles = texture + (in general) better quality + stiffer

Synthetic or nylon bristles = cheaper + bendier + smoother finish.

If you are getting a pack of brushes try to look for one with more of the bigger brushes than smaller ones.

You don't need every size but you need a couple under 10, one or two around 20 and one 30 or 40.

Brushes are expensive. Like, think book price range (where I buy them they are around 15 euro or around 20 euro).

Any free brush is a good brush.

Handles don't matter.

General tips to care for brushes:

Wash your brushes.

Use soap (dish soap is fine). I've seen people use shampoo and I'm sure it works but for acrylic paint (= water-based paint), it's a bit overkill.

Let them dry laying flat.

Don't let them sit too long in the water. you don't want to weaken the wood or glue or metal that is holding everything together.

Handles don't matter (just keep a picture or a reference of your brush before it gets covered in paint and you can't tell what size/brand it is anymore).

6. Paint

The fun part!

Here are the colours I am going to use (I'm not using all the colours i have and I tried to make a varied but coherent pallet).

(from top to bottom, left to right.)

Titanium White (neo acryl, Gerstaecker, 102)

Black (neo acryl, Gerstaecker,704)

Prussian blue phthalo (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 566)

Quinacridone pink (I love art, Gerstaecker, 350)

Reflex rose (I love art acrylic, Gerstaecker, 384)

Primary yellow (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 275)

Raw sienna (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 234)

Burnt sienna (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 411)

Burnt umber (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 409)

Vandyke brown (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 403)

Carmine (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 318)

General tips to keep in mind when buying paint, or how to choose colours when you don't want to spend too much on paint:

You CAN NOT paint with only primary colours !!!

NO magenta (it's like using 100% red. Also paint is pigment not light so magenta does not equal red)

Get more white and black paint (you can start with small quantities but these two getts used the most. I've also seen people buy "handyman paint" in white to get large quantities for cheaper but I never tried before.)

Pick darker colours over lighter ones

and pick lighter colours over mid-tones (I will go over this later when I start painting)

If you're like me and don't have tons of money to spend on paint, avoid paints with double colour names like "greenish-yellow", get yellow and get green and get white and then mix! (so you have green, yellow and everything in-between...)

When in doubt pick colours with:

fancy names (royal blue, ultramarine blue,...)

natural pigments names (cobalt, carmine, sienna,..)

well known names (TITANIUM white !!!)

artist’s names (Vandyke brown, Klein blue, ...)

Exciting and unusual names (what intrigues you? If you go: wtf is "Quinacridone pink?", "Phthalocyanine emerald"  "Vermillon?", then pick that.)

I know I said don't use primary colours but you NEED to mix colours. Go crazy! (note: straight from the tube colour can be used but in moderation or with good reasons..)

BUT You NEED brown, don't try to make it yourself

you DON'T need purple (I'll explain later)

(fluorescent colours can give you unexpected results when mixing. (I bought the fluorescent pink thinking I'd only use a small amount but now I'm kinda running out. And I don't even like pink that much...))

7. Something to pin down your paper

You only need this if you are going to work on something not horizontal.

Any type of pins (that can support the weight of the paper)

repositionable tape

or any kind of masking tape (that does not ruin paper when removed)

8. references

(The references on the picture are from another project.)

If you're not painting from life I recommend printing out your references over just having it on your phone or laptop or any screen, because

when you print them you are using pigment 

and then when you are painting you're looking at pigment and not pixels/light.

So it's actually easier to SEE the colors you have to use (and it can improve your results when painting with PIGMENT).

Also, try to print them as big as you can.

Right now I don't have a printer with me and I can't, like, get it printed or anything (not only because of the lockdown but because this is witcher stuff I'm going to make so I'm going to need reference photos of the actors and everything... yeah, no).

I'm just going to have my refs on a screen...

Hope some of you made it this far. If so, congratulation!

(I tried to make this as clear as possible (English is not my first language and I struggle with writing)).

Undo my ESC

Good evening, folks! If you saw my first instalment of “Undo my ESC”, the annual feature where I make a year’s Eurovision better for me by making alterations in each country, you might have thought that ESC getting cancelled had dulled my edge, since, comparing to usual standards, I hardly changed much at all there. Well, that’s because, once again, we have seriously uneven semis, and Semi #1 would have been killer, whilst Semi #2 would have been dead. Here is what Í would have done to even those semis up! 🇦🇱 Albania: The Albanian delegation had seemingly done all it could to wash its hands of, well, two years of comparatively excellent results with authentic, melancholically poëtic and qualitative tracks, namely Malland Ktheju tokës. They brought in Byuckman, in whose interest it is for the contest to become as generically “radio-friendly” as possible, and the genius who brought us lyrics like “this is love/rain falls from above”. As judges. Of a serious musical festival. The foreign jurors did as expected, and voted for the appointed “bop”, but were foiled, however, by one of the minority Albanian jurors on the panel who put it  low in her ranks. An actual renowned music professor who got called all the names under the sun for doing so. And so, to an ensuing shitstorm, the classical and powerful Shaj prevailed instead. Unfortunately, the battle was won but the war was lost, because the representative herself took the lessons of 2018-9, threw them down the aeroplane toilet on the way to LA, and ripped the spirit out of the song, reverting back to the previous Albanian trend of terrible “revamps” and laboured translations into English. The result, Fall from the sky, is but a husk of the original. In my ESC, I’d probably simply keeping the original version of Shaj, which was my uncontested #1 of all songs, but part of me would opt for Ajër, which I love almost as well but which doesn’t carry the baggage of hanging over my head like the sword of Democles this entire season. 🇦🇲 Armenia: I’ve more often than not loved the entries of Hayastan, from the joyous Jan Jan to the soaring Fly with me and defiant Walking out. To say they took a step back this year is kind – it was more like a powerful jump backwards that landed them in the nearest ocean, where they sank like a stone. It was one of the most singularly unpalatable NFs that I have ever watched in this era. Rather than retraumatise myself by going into detail about it, I’ll just say, I would have sent Srbuk or Artsvik again to get the top 10 that I feel both warranted!

🇦🇹 Austria: What a journey for Österreich. From Conchita to this guy, a perky homophobe who explicitly said he wished his kids would not turn out to be gay. He comes up with a third-rate impersonator of a third-rate Benjamin Ingrosso impersonator’s third-rate impersonation of a Timberlake b-side. I would throw that in the bin and invite Pænda back from last year for a shot at redemption after her gorgeous Limits got slept on in 2019.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Some people had the neck to say to me “who needs Hungary when Bulgaria is coming back?” Well, I do. Hungary were constantly in the top of my rankings, and just quietly and consistently brought quality. Bulgaria has brought me one good thing – Poli Genova’s œuvre – and a tonne of hype. Their song this year was one of the favourites, and I still can’t wrap my head around how other than the force of PR. It’s a bizarre, unsettling combination of passive-aggressive “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” lyrics with Disneyish saccharine accompaniment, topped off with a key change?! For want yet again of a national final, I would bring Poli back – third time even luckier? 🇨🇿 Czechia: The Bohemians (and Moravians) keep it contemporary but superficial for a third year running, although, thankfully, for the first time since they began doing national finals, we finally have a song without a dubious attitude towards women in the lyrics. Not that there is much to analyse in those lyrics. It’s a merely ok song for me, no better, no worse: a superior alternative would have been Barbara Mochowa’s lush and contemplative second effort, White and black holes, or the glorious 90s British indie-influenced All the blood. 🇩🇰 Denmark: Did Denmark confound international monitors into calling it the world’s happiest country by exposing them to the relentlessly cheery songs that they pick for Eurovision lately? And yet – I really do say yes to Yes, To a certain extent, to a limited amount of exposure, and despite the fact that it leans a little too hard into the territory of sounding like a second Little talks. It was one of the few good songs from DMGP – I also liked the 80s shoegaze-ish Den eneste goth– and I feel so mad at DR that they won’t give Ben and Tan a guaranteed second shot to represent their country after they won in front of an empty crowd. 🇪🇪 Estonia: The days of Eesti being Beesti seem like from a distant memory to me, but there was some quality and quirkiness in Eesti Laul, buried under mountains of beigedom, like the rich-voiced Egert Miller’s soulful Georgia, the jazzy Write about me, or the feisty earworm that was Ping pong. Instead, we got a dreary dirge with sub-Hallmark lines about wot luv is, which would have sounded dated in a contest 30 years ago, sung by a repugnant guy who tried to get people to vote for him last year by leaning on the idea that he was the “only true Estonian.” I’d have Egert get his rightful place as Jüri Pootsmann’s spiritual successor. 🇫🇮 Finland: I was one of the few to be jubilant when a bizarre ode to an Italian porn star with a backing track sounding like a violated version of Eläköön elämä came second in the polls to its spiritual opposite: a shy and rather awkward guy singing a quietly moving song about the passing of time. I love Looking back and wouldn’t change a thing. 🇬🇪 Georgia: You never know what to expect from Georgia, except the unexpected, and yet even I was surprised by what they came up with: a close-shaven guy with veins popping in his head screaming “why don’t you love meeeee?” to a rocky, electronic backdrop. Me being me, I actually do like it a lot. “Take me as I am” sounds like a veiled potshot at the big 5 and a vindication of Georgia’s “keep it weird, send what we want” philosophy. I could suggest that the lyrics, that sound like those of a spurned angsty teen, change a bit, but that would be defeating the purpose of Georgia: one takes them as they are. 🇬🇪 Greece: So, somehow, despite S!STERS coming dead last with 0 pts in the televote last year, using exclamation marks to substitute the letter I is now a thing in Eurovision with the advent of Superg!rl. I spent an hour watching folk waffle on in Greek in its reveal show only for them to reveal the song literally at the very end, so after that, it was a little underwhelming, and nowhere near as good as Better love in 2019. I don’t hate it – and the music video’s concept of her being an amazing superhero who can change the world, but instead she’s stopping people slipping over bananas and rescuing cats from trees is weirdly endearing, so it can stay, but I’d improve the lyrics, particularly in the chorus. “I’m a supergirl, supergirl, in a crazy world, crazy world” is not much higher than “this is love, rain falls from above” in historically bad Greek lyrics at ESC. 🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr came back from near-victory with the delightful Is this love, added a lovely inspiration in his newborn daughter to a similarly funky and playful track, and came out with Think about things. Unlike what usually happens with songs that are a little bit odd, I was positively surprised to see it walk the NF, and become a phenomenon even outside the ESC fandom. This was perfect and joyous from beginning to end. I hope Iceland will not be like the other Nordics, and will invite Daði directly back .🇱🇻 Latvia: I have come to enjoy the bizarre chaötic energy of Still breathing, It’s a hot mess, but I take weird over dull any day. It wasn’t my favourite in Supernova – that would be the effortlessly cool Polyester, an earworm with a social conscience, written about the cost of fast fashion but dismissed by many people as “she luvs t-shirts song lol”. Given that Samanta Tina tried over half a dozen times to go to ESC, finally won and then had the chance ripped out of her hands by the cancellation, I don’t have the heart to remove her from my ideal ESC 2020 though. She stays, but maybe the staging changes? It’s odd to have what you believe is a feminist anthem but then relegate your backing singers to in the distance, their faces shielded away. 🇲🇩 Moldova: Life is too short to follow Moldovan national finals, especially when you know, lately, that whoever is backed by the hilariously inaptly named Dream team will win there. They are like a parasite, sucking out the colour and fun out of a country that once had plenty of both – cross-reference Hora din Moldova or Lăutar to name just two examples. I guess out of an uninspiring lineüp, I’d go for Moldoviţa for having at least a hint of the brassy folk that used to be their calling card. 🇵🇱 Poland: Speaking of calling cards, after a one year hiatus with an arresting combo of white voice and rocky instrumentation, Poland has returned to what it has most often done in recent years – presented us with an absolute dirge, Empires, which seems like it was written by an unenthusiastic English student whose homework assignment (for which they received a generous C-) was to write a poëm with a bunch of metaphors “we’re moths to a flame, birds to a pane of glass, gasoline and a match”. Despite having a big music industry from which to choose many gems, Poland offers me little alternative choice given that there were only three songs in their grand final – one by the Czech representative last year who, as you might guess from what I said literally a sentence up, isn’t even Polish!Horny Elf, who’s contractually obliged to write only creepy lyrics for songs, tried to represent Polska with a song inspired by a true-life situation where he went around Tel Aviv with a cardboard cutout of one of the hostesses of the show. It’s a love song inspired by gallivanting around with a piece of cardboard. Addressed to that actual hostess. And it’s an almighty earworm that hasn’t escaped my mind since. Amazingly, his Lucy would be my Polish representative. 🇵🇹 Portugal: Portugal is another country beloved by me by for dancing to the beat of its own drummer, or perhaps, rather shedding tears to the strumming of its own fado guitar. They struggled being different, they won being different, and for the last few years they’ve struggled again, despite having a lot of support for both O jardim and Telemóveis amongst fans. This year, the televote went for one interesting song, the charmingly Gallic, accordion-drenched Passe-partout, a song about a cultured girl shaking off her boorish ex who could “never even get into Piaf”, whilst the jury got behind another interesting song, Gerbera, an entrancing, arresting and poëtic song laden with metaphor about the idea of music competing itself. This let Medo de sentir,second in both polls, turn silver into gold. It’s a lovely, heart-felt track, but rather unexceptional - I would have had one of the other more singular songs win. 🇸🇲 San Marino: The weird boil on the face of ESC that somehow never pops, SM is back after its bewildering qualification with a tone-deaf dentist wailing to a microwaved disco song… with something actually palatable, sort of. The aptly named Freaky is dated, odd, overly busy, but Senhit has a lot of charisma, and the idea of “break[ing] all the rules, mak[ing] up some new [ones] and destroy[ing] all of them too” and “life goes by too quickly not to be freaking it up”, well, maybe we do get on board. 🇷🇸 Serbia: Serbia is usually a byword for quality at the contest – they won with one of the best 21st century winners hands down in Molitva, and also sent some of the most beautiful compositions in the contest’s history at the hands of Željko. This year, they decided to join in the leitmotif of reliable countries sucking by sending a group that sound like a third-rate mid-2000s girl band from Transnistria when beautiful songs like Cvet sa Prokletija were right there. 🇨🇭 Switzerland: Fair play to the Swiss for not doing a Cyprus and leaning in on their success with their male Fuego, She gat me, and instead going in a completely different direction with this moody effort. I’m not entirely convinced by the teenage emo-ish lyrics or the unnecessary falsetto, but Répondez-moi is a refreshing effort, and has the bonus of being in French too! And the automatic qualifiers: 🇫🇷 France: You’ve heard of France, right? You know, that wee country south of Belgium, north of Andorra, not much of a music industry… or so you’d think, given that the troolee jeenyuss new delegation, who abandoned their brilliant national final which showcased how diverse and qualitative their music scene is despite it being a huge success in the fandom, and instead reached out to the writer of last year’s last place song for the UK and a few other rentaswedes and they produced something that sounds like a b-side that not even Westlife would have recorded, replete with a stock key change. About as French as IKEA köttbullar. A real shame for one of Europe’s most highly esteemed cultural hotbeds. If they wanted to pick Tom Leeb, who seems like a nice guy and has written some lovely music, he could have made his own song and it would have indubitably been scores better than this. 🇪🇸 Spain: I’m going to apply this to all the automatic qualifiers voting on this semi-final: they scrapped a national final for this? OT was not an ideal format as last year demonstrated with its shit show of contestants sabotaging themselves so as not to get picked for ESC – but still. There’s not much I can say about this other than I don’t like it much and I’d rather Spain return to a proper NF. You don’t spend time trapped on a bus where this song with its torturous falsetto was on replay and emerge with fond feelings. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Usually, in this space, I can point to a song that the UK should have sent and that I fell in love with – like I wish I loved you more or You. Once again, though, another big 6 nation scrapped their NF after tanking it with a bizarre format last year. The BBC said nothing for months, then were unwilling to spend tv time on ESC this year so just blurted out an announcement of an announcement in  about 40 seconds after some dance show. And then they dropped this song. It’s… passable at best, with an annoying chorus (especially that beat in “my last… breath”) and a staggering amount of repetition in a song that clocks in at only around 80% of the standard Eurovision song length. James Newman surely could have come up with something better. It’s a baby step in the right direction, but one taken at the shore where you need to start running to avoid getting pulled away in a rip.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru is Autistic - A Writeup

Hey there! 

As you’ve probably guessed from the title, this is gonna be a pretty long post about Kiyotaka Ishimaru from the Dangan Ronpa series, and how I believe that he is autistic. Note that I am #actuallyautistic myself, so a lot of this is drawn from my own experiences of autism, as well as some common symptoms Kiyotaka displays. This is one of my personal favourite headcanons, because I relate to Kiyotaka a lot, and it’s nice to be able to relate to him on a neurological level as well. That being said, despite the evidence I’m going to cover in this writeup, it is still a headcanon- so of course you can feel free to disregard this if you don’t agree with me (just don’t come and fight about it on the post... because a lot of that tends to go into “autism is a bad thing” territory and as an autistic person it kinda makes me feel shitty). 

With that out of the way, the rest of the post will be under a readmore, because this is about to get kinda long.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru is a fairly minor character when it comes to the Dangan Ronpa franchise. He’s a member of the cast of the first game, and dies halfway through, with almost no re-appearances or further mentions in the rest of the series. However, his personality is very distinct, and he’s been consistently seen as one of the most popular characters from the first game because of this. 

Kiyotaka’s personality boils down to a few essential parts- his keen sense of justice and morals, his lack of social skills and social intelligence, his drive to be the best in his schoolwork, and his encouraging, yet strict nature towards his classmates. Just from this base analysis of his personality you can start seeing some autistic traits- namely in his idealization of morals and ethics, and his lack of general social skills. The former is so important to his character, it’s what gives him his talent- as the Ultimate Moral Compass (Disciplinary Committee Member in the Japanese version of the game, and Hall Monitor/Prefect in a few fan translations). 

It’s quite common for autistic people to be unusually obsessed with justice or morality. I know from my own experiences that I absolutely hate situations I perceive as “unfair” or “unjust”- where I’ve been punished for doing things I didn’t do, when other people have been punished for things they didn’t do- I even find it hard to lie in certain situations. Kiyotaka certainly seems to display this pattern of thinking- his entire talent ties into making sure that those who do wrong are suitably punished, and those that do right are rewarded accordingly. The only time he goes against his morals and potentially condemns innocents are when he votes for himself instead of Mondo in the Chapter Two Trial, which seems to be him not fully realising that someone he associates with “being good, just and moral” (his new, and only, friend) doing something as amoral as murder. 

He simply doesn’t believe that someone he trusted could turn out to do something so wrong- to the point where, at the end of the second trial, he is begging everyone else to give him another explanation, or for Mondo to at least explain why he did the things he did. I understand that this is a reasonable reaction when one’s friend is faced with death, but consider this in the context of the Dangan Ronpa games. To keep up the flow of the games, characters usually seem to brush aside the murders and executions once the trials are over. Otherwise, things would drag out too long while the cast mourned. Even Naegi, who was good friends with Sayaka and knew her all the way back in middle school, only spared a few hours or so mourning her after the end of her trial.

Kiyotaka’s reaction is the most drastic in the first game, even surpassing Asahina’s bid to make Sakura’s suicide a mistrial. She’s only shown to be seriously affected by Sakura’s death for the duration of the trial, and afterwards is composed enough to fight back against the mastermind. Consider also that Asahina and Sakura were friends for the entire duration of the first game, and that Kiyotaka and Mondo were only friends for one day, and you can see how exaggerated and strange Kiyotaka’s reaction really is. 

Kiyotaka’s reaction is so strong compared to the other characters because Mondo’s killing is not only a betrayal to their friendship, but the betrayal to Kiyotaka’s perceived view of the world and what’s right and wrong. He fixates on his hatred of geniuses to an almost unhealthy level, and will not listen to anyone who tries to tell him that these “geniuses” can be good people as well. Simularily, he’s put Mondo into a box- a box that raises him above the amoral sensibilities of the killing game, making him someone who can do no wrong in Kiyotaka’s eyes- until he does. 

This is the only time Kiyotaka’s moral compass seems to be seriously tested in the killing game, and it destroys him. He relies so much on his fixation with morals, that the second they are shattered, he breaks apart. Of course, this is only a minor reason for his breakdown, but we’ll get into the rest of that later.

Another big clue to Kiyotaka being autistic comes in the form of his social skills- or, rather, his lack of them. Kiyotaka, in his entire life, has made one genuine friend. Mondo Oowada seems to be the only person he’s truly connected with, and he even states that he’s “never had a proper conversation before” in one of Naegi’s FTEs. It’s not hard to see why- Kiyotaka has very little social intelligence, which displays itself multiple times throughout the story.

He doesn’t understand that people watch TV shows and play video games to form connections over them- he just thinks they do so to get a temporary buzz out of them. He’s surprised when Naegi describes what people normally do when they hang out, and his idea of a social setting is a very old-fashioned Japanese tradition of communicating naked in a bathhouse with other men. It’s obvious that he’s personally never had an experience like this before, as he’s reportedly “never held a conversation longer than three minutes”, so he’s most likely picked this up from old Japanese literature or other media and assumed that’s still how teenagers hang out.

Mimicking behaviours from media is another common autistic trait, and even though Kiyotaka doesn’t seem the type to read a lot of books outside of school-assigned ones, he still displays this trait. Mimicking other people in general seems to be his go-to when it comes to social interaction- he calls Naegi a “Professor” when Naegi tells him how to hold a regular conversation, and says he will study the same games and TV shows Naegi knows about to be able to hold conversations just like he does. Kiyotaka, once befriending Mondo, is shown to be mimicking him in some ways- he starts calling Mondo “kyoudai”, something common amongst gangsters in Japan. In the English localisation, this is changed to “bro”, slang that would also most likely be picked up from Mondo.

After Mondo dies, Kiyotaka copes by completely mimicking him, even combining their names together and acting like Mondo to feel closer to him.

Kiyotaka doesn’t seem to understand sarcasm or humour, in most cases. Kiyotaka seems a little oblivious in general, and tends to brush aside other’s criticism- a lot of the times because he doesn’t understand it. He takes things very literally, which is a key autistic trait. 

He also wholeheartedly does seemingly idiotic things in an attempt to help others in the class trials- such as calling for the murderer to raise their hand, and stating obvious facts that were taken as a given (examples: “I propose that the victim was Sayaka Maizono”, and “We can be sure the knife was the weapon because of where it was found- sticking out of the victim’s midsection!”). Kiyotaka also displays this kind of well-intentioned, yet obvious advice when everyone is searching the school for an escape route- while others take note of potential danger and means of escape, Kiyotaka’s only contribution is to say that everyone has a dorm room. 

This makes sense for him, and most likely for others with autism- nobody’s mentioned it, and he has the information, so he thinks it will be helpful to share it. He doesn’t get the subtext that people will already know these things, and that clarifying them further wastes time and isn’t helpful in the grand scheme of things. 

While his dedication to morals and his lack of social skills are the most major identifiers of his autism, he also displays a few more subtler autistic traits.

Kiyotaka insists on holding the class meetings at a certain time in the morning, and arriving to the cafeteria at another set time. He’s always a punctual early comer, and he gets annoyed when others are late (holding back the time of his meeting). It can also be inferred that Kiyotaka is one to plan things- he has to be, if he’s taking on studying (and presumably kendo practise, due to the sword found in his room) as his only hobbies. This, and his love of the school system, can be hints towards him needing to function on a schedule. School is good for Kiyotaka because it’s structured, and planned, and not very subject to change. His hobbies of practise and studying are also not subject to sudden reschedules (unless he takes kendo lessons, but with his family’s financial situation, I don’t think that’s the case). A steady schedule is imperative for autistic people to function on a day-to-day basis. 

Kiyotaka only wears one set of clothes- his school uniform. He owns several copies of it, and refuses to wear anything else. It’s implied that he doesn’t own anything else. This could be his dedication to being a good student, but it could also easily be a manifestation of sensory issues. Kiyotaka may only feel comfortable in the material of his uniform, and doesn’t like wearing other clothes because they make him feel uncomfortable. As a fellow autistic who prefers their school uniform to their other clothes, I can definitely understand this path of logic. 

Similarly, Kiyotaka is a one-note cook. It’s revealed in School Mode that he can only cook rice balls and green tea. This seems like another case of sensory issues, where the textures of rice balls and green tea are soothing to him compared to other food tastes and textures. It seems a little odd that he’s put enough practise into creating his “famous green tea”, but wouldn’t branch out to cooking different kinds of foods than simply rice balls, especially if he wants to have a more balanced diet. 

Kiyotaka’s fixation with the things he does know how to talk about seem to be extremely intense. Kiyotaka seems completely ready to engage in a long debate with Naegi over politics, international affairs, and the economy. He also seems to have memorised his school’s old policy, and seems delighted to talk about schoolwork. These could be examples of special interests, topics that Kiyotaka fixates on and ignores all others. Kiyotaka’s biggest special interest seems to be revolving around politics, a career path he hopes to succeed in in the future. Other than that, he seems to have a special interest in school policy and the school’s curriculum, shown with his dedication to school code and his continued study of everything he has to learn about. He doesn’t understand that other people can do recreational activities that don’t revolve around these two interests of his.

Physically, Kiyotaka has an almost unnaturally straight posture. He stands with his legs pressed tightly together, and seems extremely rigid. An unnaturally rigid posture is a trait of autism (as is an unnaturally slouched or floppy posture, but that’s not relevant here). Kiyotaka is extremely prone to crying fits, even in the middle of regular conversation. He is shown holding his head and sobbing full-force in some of his FTEs, which then turns into him cheerfully laughing a few seconds later. Extreme mood swings and unprompted crying or laughing are traits of autism. When Kiyotaka is reprimanded, or when he believes that he’s done something wrong, he immediately switches into an over-reaction where he cries and begs someone to hit or “punish” him. Breakdowns like these are also common in autistics.

Kiyotaka’s speech is abnormally loud. He seems to have trouble speaking quietly or whispering, and most of his lines are yelled. Volume control like this is a classic autistic trait. Kiyotaka’s dialogue also seems stiff and stilted at times, or verbalised in a strange manner. 

I could go on more about Kiyotaka’s autistic traits, but I think I’ve said enough for one post! This is long enough as-is! I definitely think that Kiyotaka Ishimaru is autistic, but it’s up for you to decide if you agree with me.

YOUNG: FINAL CHAPTER ( COLE X READER)

SUMMARY: After running away from the emotional scene the other night, and ignoring Cole ever since then,  The Annual Ball couldn’t have been a more perfect opportunity for Cole to finally confront you.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO POST IT. I JUST WANTED IT TO BE PERFECTTTT. I really hope you like this, please do give me feedbacks ❤️ I worked really hard on this and I would love to know what you guys thought of it x Thank you for all the love <3

PS: It’s really long x 

-

After having the most vehement conversation with Cole, the last thing you want  is to see him. Not too long ago, you told him everything that you had kept bottled up for so many years. You weren’t the scared little 15 year old anymore. You finally told him how you felt, as irrelevant as it may be, at least you told the cheeky annoying blonde how you felt.

You don’t know what he’s gonna make of it, but you’re not sure you want to.

You stormed off before hearing what he had to say because you know that it really doesn’t matter anymore. It’s hopeless. He couldn’t see your love for all these years, you certainly don’t expect him to suddenly love you now. Even if he does say something you might want to hear, it really doesn’t matter. He’s going to leave anyway. You can’t do this to yourself again. You’ve already made up your mind to move on and you certainly can’t go back to what broke you.

Dinner is in a few minutes and you’re dreading it! You don’t want to see Cole, you don’t want to have to ignore him. Even though you have a ton of emotions right now, you can’t lie and say that you’re still not completely in love with him.

 It will be very hard for you to move on. But you have to do this. You have to let him go. Because it isn’t fair to you anymore.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the loud continuous knock at your door. Wendy.

“It’s open,” you yell.

“Let’s go for dinner!” she excitedly exclaims. Gosh, she’s always excited for dinner.

“Um, Wendy?”

“Yeah??”

“Can we, um, sit somewhere else tonight? Not, you know, at our usual table?”

You don’t want to sit at your table because Cole sits right across you. You don’t know if he had been assigned to that table but he’s been sitting  there ever since he joined, it’s only a given that he would sit there tonight too and you don’t want to risk it. Not tonight. You’re not ready to face him just yet.

“But we never-“

“I know. I just. Uh. Can we, please?”

Wendy breaks into a kind smile,” of course, babe. I’ll search for one.”

THANK GOD FOR WENDY.

-

Wendy traded your seats with some 8th graders. Those girls wanted nothing more than to breathe and eat near KJ and Cole and well, you guys wanted exactly the opposite so I guess it’s safe to say it was a fair deal.

The 8th grader seats were way in the front, far from the senior’s table. Phew.

You were pretty excited to sit there to be honest, it has been so long since you last sat towards the front.

“Oh my gosh (y/n), it feels so nostalgic sitting here!” Wendy exclaims

“I know right? I miss sitting in the front, although sitting at the back has its perks too,”

“(Y/n),”

“Yeah,” you answer, whilst sipping your favourite chicken soup.

“Is everything okay? Are you okay?” she asks

You pause your soup intake for a second. “I don’t know. I just-“

Your thoughts get interrupted by the sight of ,the one and only, Cole Sprouse. You gawk as you watch him take a seat on the table just across yours.

What does he think he’s doing, and how did he even find me here?

“(Y/n)? You were saying..?”

“Oh, uh, yeah everything is fine,” you put your spoon down and look up at Cole again just to be sure that it’s actually him sittnig across you.

Yeap. Defintely him. The 8th grader girls are gawking at him but he has his eyes set only on one girl. You.

How did he even find you in this giant dining hall?

After a while,you decide it’s too awkward to have dinner while facing the guy you confessed having feelings for for 2 years.

You stand up, “Wendy, I’m sorry I think I’m unwell,”

“Wait, is ev-”

“It’s nothing, I think I just need to lie down for a bit. Eat your dinner okay ! I’ll be fine,” your eyes accidentaly shift towards Cole, who looks just as concerned, he stands up as well.

“Goodnight, Wendy,” you quickly blurt and try to leave as you notice Cole walking towards you.

“(Y/n), wait!” you hear him call. You pretend not to hear and rush your way out hoping that he will not follow.

You breathe a sigh of relief one you’re out of the hall.

“Got you,” you feel a warm hand tightly grab yours.

Cole.

“Cole, I’m sorry I have a thing to-“ you pull your hand out from his grip.

“No, (y/n). Wait, wait, wait.” He grabs your hand again, holding it even tigther this time.

“(Y/n),” he brings his face closer to yours, making you shudder.

“About what you said earlier, I-“

“There you are!” Kate hugs Cole from behind.

“Ugh,” he rolls his eyes, “Not now, Kate”

“I think I should go” you softly murmur as you let go of his hand, again.

“(Y/n), please..” Cole pleaded.

You force a smile, “Goodnight, Cole”

-

“I don’t know, Wendy. I’m not feeling it,”

Wendy can’t believe her ears. She looks like someone just told her that Chrissy and John broke up. 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT FEELING IT? IT’S OUR FINAL BALL. WE.HAVE.TO.GO”

You understand where she’s coming from, you totally do. But the thought of spending what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of your senior life watching Cole dance with his princess, who isn’t you, is heartbreaking.

“I don’t want to go,” you whine putting a pillow over your face.

“Well, someone looks like he’s ready to go,” Wendy hands you her phone. It’s a picture of Cole in a black suit which he had just posted just few minutes back on twitter with the caption : Ready for the ball.

He looks so handsome. “Ah, now I don’t wanna go even more”

“(Y/N), you are not going to miss your senior ball for some guy okay?”

“He isn’t…just some guy” your voice softens.

“Look,” Wendy holds your hand tight,”I know you’re still in that getting-over-Cole phase but this is your ball. Own it. Let Cole dance with whoever he wants, you do the same! Please don’t tell me you’re going to let your best friend go alone…”

You roll your eyes, “FINE. Gosh, I can never say no to you, can I ?”

“Not a chance.”

-

So picture this: You’re wearing your favourite dress, the one you’ve had in mind for months! You feel like a princess in this dress. The dress hugs your body and complements all your curves and enhances all your loving features. You’re wearing your favourite shade of matte lipstick with very minimal make-up. You wish Cole was the one taking you to the dance floor but you know better than to be hung up over the guy who never called you, not even once, after he left .

“My goodness, (y/n). You look absolutely stunning.” Wendy gasps

“Shush, let’s get going.”

KJ called you earlier to tell you that he would be waiting at the first floor corridor.

Mrs Hurley always made sure that the ball was the biggest event of the year! And my, she had really outdone herself this year with the decorations. The ball looks like it’s straight out of a fairytale book.

Wendy and Alec were such sweethearts, they offered to drop you till the staircase before getting on with their evening of bliss.

Once you reach the staircase, you kiss both of them a temporary goodbye.

“Can I take a picture of the three of you? It’s for the yearbook,” Dylan, the school photographer interrupts just as Wendy and Alec were about to leave.

“Sure,”

The three of you happily smile for the camera.

“Thanks,” Dylan leaves.

“Oh hey, there’s KJ” Wendy exclaims and you look up.

There stood Cole and KJ  in the most attractive black suits you had ever seen. Cole literally gaped when he saw you. And so did KJ.

“See you later, (y/n)” Wendy and Alec takes their leave.

Cole looks so perfect standing there at the end of the stairway, it almost looks as if he was waiting for you. Oh how you wish!

You gracefully  make your way up the stairs, Cole not taking his eyes off of you.

“(Y/n),” Both Cole and KJ call your name in unison.

You smile kindly at  both of them,” Hey,”

“You look..” KJ is lost for words!

“Beautiful,” Cole completes his sentence.

You gush, “Um, thanks.”

“May I?” KJ offers his hand. 

This is just one of the thousand moments you wish KJ was Cole instead.

Cole watch as you slowly take KJ’s hand.

“See you later, pal’” KJ takes you away from the supposed love of your life.

As KJ steals you away, you take one last look at the guy you’re still so in love with; and there he was, still standing right where you left him as he helplessly watches his best friend take the girl , not just any girl, but the sole reason for his return, to dance.

-

Mrs Hurley has gathered all the senior years students just outside the main hall to get ready to perform the traditional ball dance, which is up in some few minutes. She’s busy lining all the girls and boys. KJ and you are in the third line so you’re pretty cool about it because that would mean you would go unnoticed.

From the corner of your eye, you spot Cole standing behind KJ. He looks up at you immediately.

Caught, you force a quick smile and so does he. You quickly turn away when you notice Kate approaching towards him. Kate. Ugh.

The orchestra band starts playing the Violin and the cello, which is your queue to make the entrance.

“You ready?” KJ whispers into your ear as he takes you by the hand.

“Always,” you smile at him.

The music loudens as you make the grand entrance to the main hall. You’ve always watched and admired your seniors do this dance and here you are, actually doing it.

The dance went really well. it was perfect. Everybody got the steps right, the timing was impeccable. Soon, all the other students joined in and it basically looked like a beautiful love affair.

Since your part of the dance was over, KJ nervously questioned, “Is it okay if we keep dancing?”

You snicker,”Sure.”

You’re completely unaware of your surroudings, KJ twirls you around and takes you everywhere with one hand on your waist and the other holding your hand as tight as ever. You feel happy. You feel ecstatic. KJ wshipers inside jokes on and off making you laugh. For a while, everything in the world seemed okay, it seemed perfect. You feel like a complete princess dancing in your favoutite gown, only.. your prince charming wasn’t the one you had always dreamed of.

Speaking of which, you notice Cole and Kate dancing likewise at a distance.

Cole looks so handsome and Kate looks beautiful. That girl has no idea how much you dreamt of dancing with Cole at the Annual Ball. Every year you had hoped to share a dance with him, only to see him take some other girl.

You hate how you always wish KJ was Cole instead. It isn’t fair to KJ. But you can’t help it.

You’re faking it. You’re faking happiness. You’re here dancing with the guy who you constanly wish was Cole instead, and Cole is out there still dancing with a girl who isn’t you.

Soon, the idea of dancing in your favourite gown under the same roof as the guy who you had always hoped to the share the dance with doesn’t seem so appealing anymore.

“(Y/n), are you okay?” KJ pauses and takes you to the corner, obviously noticing the change of mood in your face.

“KJ.. “ you can feel your eyes become warm and you have no idea why.

Maybe because your heart has finally accepted that Cole was never and will never be the one for you. Since 7th grade, all you dreamt of was to share the ball dance with Cole. It’s your final year, he made a short come back but there he was…still sharing the dance with someone else.

“Is everything okay, (y/n)?”

You take a deep breath to calm yourself,”I’m sorry, KJ. I just need some air. I’ll see you in a bit. I’m sorry-“

And with that you run out of the hall.

-

The cold breeze softly whisks your hair as you take a soothing walk on the corridors. The only time you felt this sad was the night Cole first left. You were sad that night but it’s different this time. You’re torn apart by the realization that Cole will never feel the same way towards you. Tears begin to roll down your faces as you finally allow yourself to let the emptiness take over. 

“Stop doing this to me,” you hear a voice from behind. You quickly wipe away your tears and turn around to find.. Cole. A very disturbed, sad and gloomy looking Cole.

“Stop running away. Stop making me look for you everywhere,”

You don’t have time for this right now. You try to leave again,

“Stay,” he quietly blurts. You pause. Still figting the urge not to look at him

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I know I should’ve come sooner and I’m so so sorry that I didn’t but I’m here now, (y/n).” he makes his way towards you.

You take a step backward, making Cole pause his way towards you.

“Everything has changed,” you blurt, avoiding his gaze.

“No, it has not.”

“It’s been 2 freakin’ years!” you protest.

“And yet you still look at me like you did when we were 15,”

You turn away from him.

“(Y/N), I had no idea that you felt that way about me. If I did then-“

“Then what? What difference would it have made?” you increase your tone, obviously frustrated at all the whirlwind of emotions he has been putting you through.

Cole’s face drops. He gather his courage to look up at you as he replies, “If I did then I wouldn’t have gone with all the other girls throwing themselves at me as a way of trying to get over you. If I had known that my best friend liked me back, maybe I would’ve asked her to dance, instead of picturing your face on all the girls I’ve ever danced with. For pete’s sake, you made me think that you had no interest in anything which didn’t include tea or books. I was so paranoid of losing your friendship, of losing you..” he’s clearly out of breath,”(y/n), if I had known that you felt that way about me, I wouldn’t have left. Ever.”

You gasp at the last line. Your eyes are filled with warm tears. You have no idea what to make of what he just said. “Why did you leave..?”

“BECAUSE, I wanted to get over you. I needed to get over you. I was driving myself insane with the thought of not being able to have you”

“Why didn’t you just ask!” you yell at him, rolling your eyes.

Cole chuckles and answers,”Because I’m a…chicken”

You laugh and wipe away your tears.

“I couldn’t do it, (y/n).” He continue to make his way towards you,”I couldn’t get over you. I’m sorry. Please let me make things right for the both of us,” he’s just few inches away from you.

“I hate you,”

“But I love you,”

You widen your eyes in shock and before you could fully comprehend what he had just said, Cole cups your face and pulls you in for a deep kiss.

His hands slowly move towards your waist as he pulls your body closer to his.

Alas, it happened. Your first kiss with Cole. The guy you’ve been in love with since high school.

There stood the two of you at the end of the corridor. The stars watched in awe as the cold breeze gently blew your hair.

You break the kiss after some time, only to find the happiest look on Cole’s face. He gently rubs your face as he looks deeply into your eyes.

“Wait, so did you ask me to be your girlfriend just so the other guys wouldn’t hit on me?”

He clears his throat, evidently looking embarrassed.

“Oh my gosh, you cheeky sly lil’-“

“Shut up and kiss me,”

-

Walking hand-in-hand with Cole Sprouse, you’re now on your way to the hall to finally dance with your knight in shining armour.

As you approach closer towards the hall, you pause and question Cole,

“Why didn’t you ask me for the dance?”

“Because KJ already called dibs on you”

SPEAKING OF WHICH, you left KJ earlier,”Oh my god, I left him  alone”

“Ah don’t worry,” Cole tightens his grip on you,”He knows how I feel, he’ll understand. Besides, he has his way with girls.”

You smile in response as the guy with the most beautiful pair of bluish-green eyes and really greasy hair  takes you to ball, the scene of which you’ve dreamt for years.

“May I?” he offers his hand.

Forever and Always, you answer in your head.

-

A/N: Thank you so much for all your loveeee. Hope you guys liked it <3

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