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#ushijima comfort
toshigimmemilk · 2 years
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based on this one reddit post I found, if I come across it again ill link it
wakatoshi’s been hiding a secret from you. a pretty big one actually but he’s doing it all for you especially with you having to get right back to work after a couple of months of giving birth, and he'd seen how much distress it had caused you to be away from your little baby girl after your maternal leave was done, how much time you spent with your baby as soon as you came home, sometimes even pushing toshi out of the way to get to your baby he's mad cuz he didn't get his kiss (he's the actual babie) but he's been keeping secrets.
wakatoshi has never been good with secrets, he'd always told you whatever was going on in his mind, no matter how crazy it might seem, he didn't like keeping secrets from you,
but
he saw how tired you looked when you came home today, complaining as soon as you entered about a deal that you had to close before the other side pulled out and with a quick kiss to his lips, you made way to where your baby is, cooing slightly and the tired feeling of the day already washing out of you as soon as you set your eyes on them pulling themselves up right beside the couch and then all of a sudden,
your baby walked. sure she struggled a bit, stumbling and bouncing but yet, she walked for the first time. gasping with wide eyes you reach your hands out, encouraging them to walk a bit more towards you, you called out to wakatoshi with a quick toshi come look at her!!, and there he was standing beside where you're sitting, encouraging your bundle of joy to walk towards you both, which she did bit by bit and you suddenly felt your heart flutter and tears gather at your lash line and with a few steps there she was in all her glory, bouncing up and down and giggling with her tiny two-toothy grin at you both, with tears you picked her up and turned to look at wakatoshi, " toshi can you believe it? she walked and- and I was here to see it, oh my god she walked for the first time and I was here-" you choked on your own words hugging your little baby girl.
that night it was all you were able to talk about, and wakatoshi's heart jumped at how happy u looked and looking at your pretty face adorning the biggest smile it can carry, he determined that right then and there that he didn't have the heart to tell you that your daughter took her first steps with him earlier that day but seeing how distraught u were with how much little time you got with your baby, wakatoshi determined that this secret was something that he would carry with him until the day he died.
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daebraeksan · 2 years
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Ushijima comfort: Coming back from party and it went well
Overcoming social anxiety, Proud of yourself, but stressed about being proud of yourself
Genre: established relationship, comfort
Contents/topics mentioned: eating, anxiety (general), social anxiety, fear (general), fear of angry people, fear of abandonment, scarcity mindset, social isolation, 
Wc: 2249
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 
You never want to leave when you’re having fun. What if it never happens again? What if it is the last time?
This will not be the last time you leave a social event after hanging out with Ushijima’s friends—you can reassure yourself that much. There will be a next time. 
You’re floaty and happy, tethered to the earth only by your hand in Ushijima’s as you head back to your residence. Bursting through social anxiety and coming out the other end with a good experience—it truly makes you feel on top of the world.  You always thought that you couldn't be the outgoing one. You always thought you would have to rely on someone else to be your liaison, show you the way, be the outgoing and brave and sociable and charismatic one to lead you in social interactions and help you get your social needs met. You thought you had to rely on others to give you access to resources to have your social needs met. 
And there’s ways for people who aren’t loud and overly charismatic to have their social needs met, too. Ushijima is not at all a standard talkative person at all, but he has helped you make lots of friends, on your journey to building confidence in yourself.
Not that Ushijima isn’t actually “outgoing.” It just looks a little different as compared to what people may think of first. He takes initiative a lot and tries to find the most direct path to get what he needs. His needs are also different than yours in different circumstances, so sometimes he might not be the first one to make conversation. He’s content to step back and listen. Yet, usually he’s always the center of attention anyway. He’ll always make sure you’re comfortable going to an event before RSVPing yes or no for both of you. He’s equally content staying at home as going out. 
You both arrive at your place, and you have some leftovers from the party, while he goes to shower. You text some of your friends that you made it back safely and you hope you can see them again soon. 
You don’t want to let go of this successful, happy feeling. You never want it to end.
You’ve never had much of a social life. You’re honestly shocked that you even met Ushijima. You somehow ended up with friends in school, but you don’t remember how you made them. And once you went out into the “real world” you had no idea how to approach making friends.
You think you’d have fun going out and having fun with a bunch of people—you’re honestly not sure. You’ve been held back by fear a lot. You’ve had situations in the past where you’ve been met with a whole friend group that seemed ripe for the taking—but you froze, didn’t speak at all. Too afraid of what kind of first impression you’d make to even make any impression at all. You couldn’t participate in impromptu dance parties because it felt like dance battles—and you didn’t want to lose or embarrass yourself. You didn't know how to add yourself in the conversation because you didn't know the right thing to say. You didn't want to invite yourself where you weren't wanted. You didn’t want to alienate yourself from a friend group served on a silver platter. But in trying so hard not to mess up your chance, you completely missed your chance. 
You’ve tried super hard to make friends but you felt like you always failed in one way or another. It would always end up with you being on the outskirts and excusing yourself and removing yourself from the friend group. You never fit in and it was hard to believe you weren't the problem. 
Ushijima was a kind of safety blanket you didn’t know was possible. Ushijima got you out of your shell in the way that he saw potential in you and it helped you see potential in you. You had no idea how, but he was enraptured by you and it was baffling. You were a little more confident to be yourself with Ushijima by your side. You knew that at least one person was going to love you no matter what stupid stuff you said. And it turned out that when you were free to be yourself, people didn’t hate it. Not everyone, at least. And you made some good friends who you are really grateful for. 
Ushijima returns from his shower and you go to take yours. You really don’t want to wash the day off of you—not when you had such a fun evening, at least. But also, even if you shower, you will still have the memories. You don’t want this good day to end, because tomorrow might be a bad day. 
You want to let go of old rules and old narratives about yourself that no longer serve you. For most of your life, social anxiety kept you safe. If you think twelve steps ahead, if you micromanage yourself, if you avoid situations, then you avoid people being mad at you. You avoid danger. 
It’s simple. It’s simple math.
You’re not wrong. As long as you’re keeping yourself safe, who can fault you for that? What could be more “right” than trying to keep yourself safe?
But isolation is painful. These rules that keep you safe are also hurting you. 
You want friends who love you, you want best friends who are always going to be there for you. You want to be surrounded by loved ones, you want to be supported by them, and to support them in return. You want to be part of a community. 
But finding a community is not that easy. Not in this hegemonically built society where it benefits a few people for everyone else to be disenfranchised, out of their power. 
It’s not your fault, necessarily. At least it’s not 100% your fault. 
But you feel responsible for holding yourself back. You blame yourself for not being able to change. It sucks to face internal barriers to socializing on top of the societal barriers. 
Life shouldn’t be so hard. 
You are unlucky often. You have had friends who you thought were right for you, and then weren’t in the end. You’ve had friend groups that weren’t right for you either, and no matter how many people were around you, they were never right for you, and eventually, you would always cycle back to being alone. 
The idea “you’ve been unlucky your whole life so you should get lucky soon” is a heaven’s reward fallacy. Good people don't always have good things happen to them and bad people don't always have bad things happen to them. (Maybe there is no such thing as a “good person” and a “bad person” anyway.) And “good people” cannot prevent bad things from happening to them by being a “good person.” 
Life doesn’t owe you anything. You don’t know what you think you’re waiting for. It’s not friends. That’s not going to magically happen. And you don’t really know how to make it happen yourself. 
Once you are done with your shower, you get into bed with Ushijima, who is reading a book with soothing music on in the background. He looks up from his book as you climb into bed. 
He pressed a gentle hand to your face and gingerly presses a kiss to your cheek. 
“Did you eat enough?” he asks.
You nod. “I’m full. Are you hungry?”
He shakes his head. 
“How’s your book?”
His book is open on his lap. He closes it, his finger inside to mark his page, and looks at the cover thoughtfully. 
“It’s okay,” he says. 
You wonder if he’s going to say more. 
He puts the book away, and turns towards you. “Did you have fun tonight?” he asks.
“Yes! I hope we can do that again soon.”
He smiles. “I’ll tell them you said that. Did you get their numbers?”
“Not everyone. But yes, please tell them.”
“I’ll ask them to tell us when they’re going to plan something again,” he says. 
You snuggled into the covers and look up at him expectantly. He lies down next to you, and you press your face into his chest. 
You feel the social anxiety creeping back slowly. Sometimes, it’s easier and safer to feel certain emotions with others. It’s easy to get swept away with a lot of people and feel happy and loved and accepted. On the other hand, it’s easier to second guess yourself when you’re at home alone. Though you’re not actually alone when Ushijima is home. But he was in the shower earlier and that’s more than enough time for your brain to go wild. Were you really accepted? Are you allowed to have a good time? No one can know you had a good time. You aren’t allowed. Right? You’ll get in trouble. 
“How are you feeling?” he asks. 
You sigh. You can’t shrug from this angle but you think he probably knows what you mean. 
“I don’t know,” you say just in case he can’t guess.
“Thinking about something?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Just, like. Stressed.”
“About what?”
“The party.”
“That we just got back from?”
“Yes.”
He holds you tighter. “What happened there?”
Nothing, really. Nothing bad that you can think of. But what if something bad happened and you missed it? “Do you think it went okay?”
“I—me?” he stutters. “What—what does that have to do with anything?”
“How did the party seem to you?”
“It seemed fine. But was it?”
“I don't know.”
“Did something happen?”
“I don’t think so. But what if it did.”
“Hmm.”
“It’s stupid, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not stupid. But why do you think something happened?”
“Why wouldn't it?”
“Things can just be nice.”
You know that’s like …true…technically. Allegedly. But you’re still mad he said it.
“Not for me,” you want to say, but you hold yourself back. 
“Everyone liked you,” he said.
You’re happy at that thought, but you don’t want to believe it. “Thank you,” you say. 
“Everyone was also ready for us to meet up again soon.”
“Yeah.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, and to your neck, and shoulder. 
“You did a really great job.”
“Thank you.”
You’re proud of yourself for overcoming your anxiety and having an outcome that you want. But no one must know. You’re scared to be happy. You feel the sensation glowing inside of you, and it’s enjoyable. 
For some reason it’s easier being happy in front of other people, with friends. It’s easy to have fun with friends. Like nothing bad can happen to you if you’re with them. 
But it’s not easy to feel proud of yourself. It’s not easy to feel like you’ve done the right thing. It’s not easy to be confident in your own decision. You’re tired, and happy, and afraid of feeling sad. You’re afraid of not feeling this ever again. You want to enjoy it while it lasts.
You want to let go of your resentments and live freely and one of your resentments is the seemingly easy way other people are able to get their socialization needs met but you aren’t. You are now in a situation where you can enjoy this socialization, but you have to let yourself go. You have to let yourself enjoy this.
“Is there anything else you want to talk about?”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“I guess there’s nothing really to talk about.”
“It’s okay if you want to keep talking.”
“Maybe tomorrow morning.”
“Okay. If you’re sure. Are you ready to sleep?”
“Soon.”
“Okay. Want to watch something?” 
“Just one episode.”
He goes and finds a comfort episode he can play that won’t be too stimulating, and you both can fall asleep to.
You’re doing a good job and everything is going to be okay. You still have stuff to work on but who doesn't? It’s okay to celebrate the small victories and every day is a step closer to the life you want. And there’s already so much you’re grateful for now. You have come so far from where you were before and you will continue to go farther.
You have some other things holding you back that you’re working on letting go of. You have some old rules that say you are not allowed to have fun, with friends, or otherwise. You have some old rules that say that you are on borrowed time and if you have fun now it will bite you in the butt later. 
But you don't have to live by your old rules now. You can live by new rules and be kind to yourself, gentle, and loving. You can play and have fun in your life. You can never get the time you lost in your childhood back but you can make the most of the present moment you have now. You can enjoy your life in the present and let go of resentments of the past and fears of the future.
It’s not going to be easy, but you can be there for yourself and support yourself and try your best. You can be present with yourself as you go along this journey, and you can ask for help when you need.You can make your own rules. You are allowed to play and have fun in your life.
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liquidcatt · 3 days
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Even though he’s spent years being a professional volleyball player, his hands were oh so gentle. From the way he held you close while sleeping, to the way he softly cupped your face, wiping away your tears, to the way he held your hand, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. He makes it better by kissing them to show you how much love he has for you. And you wouldn’t have it any other way
Hinata, Bokuto, Ushijima, Kageyama, Atsumu, Suna, Kiyoomi, Oikawa, Tsukishima, Hoshiumi (+ your fav)
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shoulmate · 10 months
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"Hey, 'Toshi?"
Ushijima turns at the call of his name as you storm up with an anger that furrows your brow so deeply the other athletes on the national team standing nearby shrink back.
"Yes?" He remains unphased. "Is something wrong?"
You hold up a book in vehement disgust. "Yes. This book. This stupid fucking book."
He reads the spine, unfamiliar with the title. "What about it?"
"It fucking sucks!" You snap as if he's the author. "The main goddamned love interest turned out to be the fucking psychopath murderer!"
"What's wrong manager? Can't handle a little suspense?" Miya asks, sidling up next to the mountainous spiker.
"No, actually. I can't! It turns out I hate suspense. Mysteries, murders," you make a dramatic gesture, "it's my least favorite fucking genre--"
"Then why did you read it?" asks Kageyama trying to take the book from your hands but you rip it away.
"Don't." You hold up a finger. "It was passed along when someone was done with it. Since I don't get a lot of time to go pick out books for myself it's one of the few I just had on-hand and I thought I'd try it. But then once I realized what kind of genre it was I had to finish it because otherwise it was going to piss me off more not knowing and I'm glad I did because now I know the goddamned love interest was a fucking lie!" Tears start to form at the corners of your eyes.
Angry tears.
"And I hate it! I hate stories like this so much 'Toshi! They're condescending, authors thinking they're sooo clever deceiving their reader but really it's just an arrogant, flaunting self-celebration and I hate it!" You're sneering up at Ushijima whose brow has the slightest dip. "I hate stories like this 'Toshi! It erodes peoples' trust and faith in each other and it's just--it's." Your words cut off in an angry splutter and you hand him the book. "Please?!"
The team watches as Ushijima nods appeasingly and takes the book from you.
Bracing it in his massive hands he rips the book--all eyes watching grow wide as Ushijima tears through the spine. Parallel to the short edges of the book. He tears through it like he's in a phone book ripping contest and you wilt onto the bench.
Ushijima drops the severed halves and kneels on the floor in front of you wiping your tears with a tenderness in direct contrast to the previous display of strength.
"My love."
His deep voice rumbles comfortingly through you.
"It was only a story."
"But-but," you sniffle, "it was still painful to read."
"Of course it was." He cups your cheeks--nearly the entire side of your head--and leans down to meet your eye. "But I love you. I've told you once and I'll tell you for the rest of our lives that I'm not going anywhere."
And as one of the most honest, earnest, trustworthy men you've ever met
you believe him.
He accepts you wholeheartedly when you reach for a hug; he wraps you entirely and tightly in his arms and it feels like the safest place in the world. You sigh, relaxing into him.
"Our story is the only one that matters, 'Toshi," you mumble into his chest.
He chuckles, the sound rolling through you, too. "The best genre of all."
He kisses the top of your head as the other members of the national team pick up the discarded halves of the offensive novel and start passing it around to see if anyone else can rip it.
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rishiguro · 5 months
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HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WHEN YOU‘RE SICK
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a/n: hello flu season, you make me write purely self-indulgent shit because i turn into a needy child when i‘m sick
warnings: mentions of meds. one f-bomb.
jjk version
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SUNA RINTAROU: can’t help but tease you for it
“i told you to put on a jacket and dry your hair before you go out,” he muttered amused as he watched you huddle into the living room, wrapped into your thick blanket. you rolled your eyes at him, to which he immediately held up his hands. “don’t look at me like that, you know i’m right” you couldn’t help but pout at him, whispering curses annoyed. “you know damn well that that’s not how viruses work,” you grumbled. “then why are you sick now?” he retorted, smiling. “fuck you” you turned around to go back into the bedroom. “oh, come here you big baby” your boyfriend opened his arms and gestured you to come closer, offering to cuddle with you. “i hate you sometimes,” you muttered under your breath as you walked up to him, falling into his arms and laying your head on his chest. “i love you too”
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: decks you in with every remedy he can get his hands on
he looked at all the meds on the table after carefully reciting the benefits of each one word-by-word, remembering everything the pharmacist had told him. “are you sure you got everything you need? i can run out to the pharmacy again, it’s not a problem,” he offered after a short pause. you let out a quiet laugh, nodding confidently. “i’m sure i’ll be fine, ‘toshi. promise,” you stated, reaching out to grab his hand. “okay” admittedly, it was adorable just how overboard he went the second he heard you sneeze. you probably just caught the flu somewhere, nothing that couldn’t be cured with rest and maybe a few meds. when you texted your boyfriend, asking him to pick some up for you, you surely didn’t expect him to enter your home with the whole pharmacy in his bag. you grinned, your heart warming at his silly, but incredibly caring gesture. “what are you laughing at?” he asked confused. “nothing,” you assured him quickly, giving his cheek a peck before leaning into him and his warmth. “i’m just happy you’re here with me”
KITA SHINSUKE: keeps a respectable distance but doesn’t fail to make you feel cared for
following a soft knock, the door to your dim bedroom was opened with your boyfriend stepping into the room. “i made you some tea” he spoke softly as he put the mug down on the small table next to you. he proceeded to quickly feel your forehead, nodding when he realizes that your temperature has gone down. “and some soup is currently cooking on the stove, i’m gonna bring you a bowl later” he smiled softly at you, giving your forehead a peck. “i’ll be in the living room, yeah?” he turned to leave, making sure to not close the door behind him. he then turned around and took another look at you. “the door’s open, love, so just say the word and i’ll be here, no need to strain your voice” you smiled weakly at him. “thank you” he nodded. “i love you,” he whispered to you. “i love you too,” you replied. he turned to leave, but stopped when you called out to him again. he hummed, waiting for you to continue. “can i get a hug? just a quick one,” you mumbled, almost sounding shy, “please” he smiled, immediately making his way over to you. “you don’t have to ask, anything you want”
HINATA SHOYO: latches himself onto you and ends up getting sick too
you groaned, trying to push him off you, but finishing yourself too weak to actually do so. his head was buried in the crook of your neck with his arms wrapped tightly secured around you, not wanting to let you go. you sighed in defeat. “shoyo, i love you, but you’re gonna get sick of you keep doing this” “nuh-uh” he denied, shaking his head, his hair tickling your skin. “yes you will,” you insisted, your hands however finding their way on his back, softly running your nails over it. he kept denying it however and soon after you couldn’t find the energy to keep arguing with him — and you really didn’t want him to leave (not like you’d tell him and give him an actual reason to stay). and just about two weeks later, you’d be the one tending to him, not failing to tease him about his sickness. it didn’t matter to him though, he’d get sick a thousand times over if it meant he could stay close to you.
KUROO TETSUROU: loves to berate you but will drop everything to take care of you
he groaned when he saw you in his field of vision, raising his eyebrows at you with hands stemmed into his hips. “i told you to stay under the covers” he shook his head, pointing into the direction of your bedroom and motioning you towards it. “back under the blanket, come on” you whined. “it’s too hot, tetsurou, i’m sweating” you shivered as you spoke, your arms wrapping around your midsection. honestly, you just needed to see some things that weren’t the walls or the ceiling of your room. you’d take anything at this point. “that’s the point! you need to sweat it out!” he claimed, gesturing with his hands. “can i at least take a shower first? or just get changed? i feel disgusting, my clothes are literally drenched in sweat,” you spoke after sighing in defeat. there was no point in arguing with him, especially when you knew that he was right. “hop into the bathroom, i’ll get you some new pajamas”
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reblog & comment to support your fanfic writers !
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tatsumessy · 1 year
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Father edition
Husband Ushijima! Stares at your daughter whose sitting on his chest waking him up from his deep slumber because she’s hungry.
Husband Ushijima! Who takes his daughter shopping when he’s trying to buy a birthday present for you.
Husband Ushijima! Who plans a family picnic after a death on your side of the family because both of his girls are sad.
Husband Ushijima! Who freaks out when you tell him you’re sick while at work then right after gets a call from your daughters daycare telling him that she’s sick too.
Husband Ushijima! Forces everyone of his former/current teammates to wear hand sanitizer before hugging or giving his girls a handshake.
Husband Ushijima! Asks you for advice when his teenage daughter says she hates him for not understanding her feelings for a classmate.
Husband Ushijima! Who dedicated all of his rewards to his wife and children.
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a/n: be free to request other head cannons just like this, also comment if you want to be added to a tag list. Just lmk which anime you’re wanting to be added too.
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sexyandcringe · 1 year
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[04:25 PM]
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Your boyfriend got you a bouquet.
Today is not Valentines day, nor is it your birthday. Why did he get you a bouquet then?
You're confused, you ask him what's the special occasion. "Just because." he replies.
"What do you mean "just because"?"
"Because i love you, so giving you stuff and seeing you happy makes me happy."
You stare at him, a little shocked, mouth slightly open as you rethink of your ex who, in the three years of dating, got you exactly 2 plastic roses only for every Valentines day (he didn't get them in your last year of dating because that night he was out drinking with his friends while you were crying in your miserable home).
"I'm- i, thank you so much, my love." you hug him tight as you feel your eyes watering. "Really, you have no idea how much this means for me."
Finding your boyfriend in this generation was a miracle for you, since you didn't really expect anyone to like you other than your ex, but you were so wrong. Your boyfriend told you his heart skipped a beat the day he met you and sometimes it still does because he can't comprehend how someone as gorgeous as you came into his life and made it hundred times better.
"I love you." you say. You mean it with your whole soul.
"I love you more." he says, and your inner child, the child who grew up without love - or with a fake love - who was never enough, starts to feel safe.
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Reblogs are really appreciated!
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iwadori · 2 years
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When they call you clingy ( Ushijima, Kuroo, Iwaizumi)
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part one (atsumu, osamu, suna )
genre: angst, fluff
A/n: even though i just posted this is technically my first work “back” so I hope you like it! And this is my longest work yet a h h.
word count: 3.4k
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As you were sitting in the stands at one of your boyfriends games, you couldn’t help feel that recurring proudness you always had when watching Ushijima play. He was a natural, and anyone could see it, the way he commanded the court with his presence alone was breathtaking. So when he jumped up to spike the ball, the crowd was in shock as he comes downs even faster than he jumps, landing with a loud cry, clutching his knee, clenching his eyes shut.
Your first instinct — as the panicked partner you were — was to push through the crowd of people all staring and talking about the injury your boyfriend had just endured. It was the first time, you’d seen ushijima in such pain and you didn’t know what to do. But knowing how caring and comforting he was when you were sick and injured, even if it was something as small as a paper cut, you were determined to care for him.
His leg was broken, and you could immediately tell from his face that he was devastated. The doctor told him that he couldn’t play for a minimum of 3 months and had to be on crutches until that time, dampening his mood even worse.
“Toshi, are you alright?” You asked once you left the hospital trying to help him get into the car, as he struggled with his lack of mobility.
“I’m fine,” he responded dismissively, “and I can get in the car myself” he brushes you off, trying to jam his crutches into the back seat, failing miserably. But you continue to help him silence, also getting in the car, hoping that his mood will get better once you get home.
Weeks went by and Ushijima stayed at home, spending his time reading magazines, watching volleyballs and sulking. It was hard to tend to Ushijima’s needs, as whenever you asked, “Wakatoshi, do you need anything?” It was always returned with a swift and firm, “no.” But you wanted to return the love and care that he always gave to you.
Ushijima came home from physiotherapy and the tension was strong, practically radiating from body as he hobbled into the living room to sit on the couch with a deep long sigh.
“Hey Toshi, how was physio?” You said, giving him and hug as you sat beside him and moving his crutches out the way.
“It was good,” he said, trying to brush off you off, but you wanted to talk with him as since his injury he’s been distant and you weren’t sure why.
“That’s good to hear,” you said, inching closer to him with a smile, “maybe I could come with you to your next one, for some moral support?”
“I don’t need any moral support.”
“Oh okay,” you said dejectedly “well I made us dinner, and then maybe after I can help you with some stretches for your leg?”
“No, can you just leave me alone for once,” he says trying to stand up, but aprubtlty sits back down with a wince as he put too much pressure on his bad leg.
“Are you okay?” You said with concern putting your hand over his leg to check it over but he moves it away quickly.
“Y/N this continuous overbearing attention you’ve put on me has become irritating and it’s hard to be around you,” he said not looking at you, slowly standing up making sure to not hurt his leg again in the process, “so can you please stop being clingy and leave me alone.” He limps to your bedroom and slams the door behind him, leaving you sat in silence, processesing what he just said.
You never thought that you were coming across as overbearing, you just wanted to reciprocate the helpfulness that he always gave to you. Whenever you and Ushijima argued, you knew it was best to leave him alone for a bit and give him space — even though that’s what he already told you to do anyways — so you ate the dinner you made for the both of you, and read a book silently on your own.
Later on, a loud bang caught your attention and you recognised it coming from the bathroom. You had an urge to investigate, but remembering Ushijima’s words from earlier, you decided to mind your business. That was until, you heard a repeated weak call of your name coming from the bathroom, and your heart thumped at the fact that Ushijima was hurt even further.
“Wakatoshi what happened?” You asked as you saw your boyfriend on the shower floor, with the shower still on soaking him as he held onto his leg.
“I slipped..” he mumbled, his eyes downcast and the water from the shower.
“Do you need help getting out?” You said apprehensively, remembering the words he said not even an hour ago to you. But he nodded his head and you leaned down letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder as you helped get him up. You could feel the wetness off his body rub onto your clothes, making you cringe at the weird feeling but you ignored it as your main goal was to make sure he was okay.
“Thank you Y/N” he said once you got him situated on your bed, making sure his leg was elevated.
“No problem,” you said feeling awkwardness arise between the two of you as you realise the elephant still in the room.
“About earlier,” he started off “I didn’t mean to come across as so blunt and mean before.”
“Although you didn’t mean to be rude, you were rude,” you retorted “and I get that having an injury sucks and all but you can’t just say that im such a clingy person and for me to be okay with that.”
“I see that now”
“So I think tonight I’ll give you some more space and just sleep on the couch,” you finish saying as you exit the room, leaving him alone as he did to you earlier.
As you were settled in your poorly made couch bed, you felt a large presence enter the blanket and a cast covered leg brush slightly against yours.
“I never wanted you to see me be weak,” he said, confusing you already.
“What?”
“Before my injury, I was always one to help you out and I saw the way you looked at me and it made me feel good,” he said with a sigh, “but now it’s like all you’ve done is baby me and I know you had good intentions but it made me feel weak, that I wasnt good enough for you.”
“Oh Toshi,” you said trying to manoeuvre your body so that you were facing him on the small cramped couch, “I just wanted you to feel the way that you’ve always made me feel whenever I was sick, I didn’t want to come across as clingy but I wanted to help.”
“I realise that now, and I’m truly sorry for the words I said”
“Maybe next time, just communicate with we more instead of just brooding and sulking,” you suggested “and this wouldn’t of made me see you as weak, you literally cry at animal birthing videos,” that made you both laugh. You helped him back to your bed and decided to stay with him, because although his words made you feel bad you could understand his reasoning.
He eventually recovered from his injury, accepting your help with no complaints and being more thoughtful with how he worded things when he didn’t like something you did. His first game back after his injury, went great and the feeling pride you felt knowing that he was your boyfriend grew even larger, especially when in the post-game interviews all he spoke about was that the reason he won was due to your dutiful care.
Kuroo
With your boyfriend, Kuroo Tetsurou, living in a different city it was very hard sometimes to feel loved. You knew that Kuroo did love you, but with the lack of physical touch and seeing him in person that most couples have it was difficult to remind yourself of this, especially when you were having a bad day.
Your boss had you working overtime, and you were exhausted. But you were looking forward to the planned FaceTime date that you and Kuroo always tried to have at least once a week. Kuroo was also busy, making him miss the last four planned daters you had so you were extra excited for this one, as he promised he’d be there.
When the clock struck 5pm, you immediately rang Kuroo’s phone, having it propped up on your desk as you sat staring into the camera, waiting for him to answer. The phone rang out and you called him again, thinking that he just missed the initial call. But after a 7th ring and no answer, you knew that the chances of him calling were extremely low.
A few hours later, you receive a phone call from Kuroo and although he was late you were happy that he kept his promise. “What was with the excessive calls?” Was the first thing he says in a harsh tone, to your surprise.
“What? What do you mean?” You question.
“You rang me like 18 times when I was at work” he hissed.
“I only rang you 7 times,” your retort “and how was I supposed to know that you were at work…”
“Because I have a job,” he says matter of factly
“I have a job too y’know, and we planned weeks ago for this FaceTime date,”
“Well my job requires more hard work Y/N,” he said dismissively “and we don’t need to call every week, you don't need to be so clingy.”
“Clingy?” You repeat, “I didn’t know wanting to talk to my boyfriend who I haven’t spoken to in weeks was clingy, or that after having a shitty day at work I just wanted my usually kind and sweet boyfriend to give me some words of comfort…but i guess not,” you finish your sarcastic rant by ending the call not wanting to hear anything else your boyfriend had to say.
You never knew Kuroo to be like this, so you could acknowledge something was probably wrong with him. However, with the terrible day you had the way Kuroo was feeling was the least of your worries.
You went to bed with a heavy heart, trying to hope that the rest of your week would be better than it’s already been.
Kuroo had tried to contact you with small texts every now and again, but you couldn’t forgive him just yet. So you threw yourself into work — even more so than usual — shutting out your boyfriend and your friends, trying to busy yourself to ignore the fact that Kuroo thinks you’re clingy.
The week continued, and you didn’t talk to Kuroo at all. You weren’t blatantly ignoring him, but you were responding way less than if you weren’t mad at him. He hadn’t apologised yet, he was waiting for things to go back to the way they were, but recently you’ve hated your dynamic and you weren’t willing to pretend as if things were okay.
After another exhausting day of work, you receive a call and not even checking to see who called, you answered.
“Y/N, hi you picked up,” said Kuroo sounding relieved.
“Tetsurou?”
“Can you let me in?”
“Let you in? What?” You asked in confusion
“I’m outside your apartment, and your neighbours are glaring at me” he said “so can you please let me in?”
“Ok then,” you said reluctantly, buzzing Kuroo up to your apartment.
When you opened your door you saw your boyfriend, with a handful of roses, a bag full of take-out and a teddy bear, with an apprehensive smile on his face.
“What are you doing here?” You asked with your arms folded and eyebrows raised.
“Well its ‘date-night,’ right?”
“I thought you were too busy at your ‘hard-working job,’ to have time for date nights,” you retort.
He sighs, thinking about his words from the previous week, “I’m sorry about that really its just—“ he pauses thinking about what to say, “can you just please let me in, so we can talk?”
You step aside to let him enter and the awkwardness was unmissable. His eyes met yours but quickly averted them to stare at something else. It wasn't the first time you and Kuroo argued, but it was the first time that he said something that made you feel this bad and you both knew that.
“About last week,” he started “I didn’t to mean to miss the FaceTime date”
“What about the one before that? Or the one before that?”
“I’m sorry for those too,” he said “it’s just I've been really busy at work and I didn’t mean to snap. I was just having a bad day.”
“I was having a bad day too, but I wouldn’t have just snapped at you because of that.”
“I get that and I’m sorry,” he said apologetically, “can we just move past this please?”
“I don’t think we can”
“What do you mean?” He said in confusion.
“At first this long distance thing was okay, but now with how tough work has been for me and how much I’ve missed not being around you, I just don’t think this can work.”
“Oh Y/N, don’t say that, I can make this work,” he said “we can make this work,” and although you were feeling doubtful the hopeful look kuroo gave you was enough to have faith in his words.
The rest of the night, you talked, telling him about the loneliness you spent over the last few months in your long distance relationship and the terrible day you already had when he called you clingy. Kuroo was heavily apologetic, never wanting to make you feel bad, as he regretted the words as soon as the words left his mouth. Eventually, Kuroo moved back to the city and although you didn’t live together the distance was shorter so you both didn’t feel as lonely as you did before.
Iwaizumi
You were waiting outside of your boyfriend’s — Iwaizumi Hajime — class, for your study session that he begged you to do as he was struggling in one of his classes. When he came out, his eyes lit up as they always seemed to do whenever he saw you, making you smile.
“Are you ready to go to the library babe?” He asked, pulling you into a hug, smiling down at you, you nodded in response and he led you both to the library before you were halted by someone from Iwaizumi’s class.
“Hey hajime, me and the guys from class are going to play some volleyball,” he said gesturing to the other group of friends waiting at a distance behind, “and we know you used to play in high school so we were wondering if you wanted to join?”
“I-uh…” Iwaizumi started off hesitantly, looking between you and the guy, “well I kind of already had plans with y/n so sorry i can’t—“
“It’s okay!” You interrupted, “We can always study tomorrow, or something.”
“You sure babe?”
“Of course, go ahead,” you finish with a smile which he returned as he slowly walks off with his classmate to join their friends. As you were both in university, it was rare to see Iwaizumi always around friends, you knew he had some but he mainly spent his time with you which you both enjoyed. So it wasn’t a problem for him to change plans to hang out with friends instead of you, as you knew it wouldn’t become a consistent thing.
Until it actually did.
Over the next week, whenever you planned to see Iwaizumi — like usual — his newfound response was that he was with “the boys.” They weren’t particularly terrible boys but it seemed that now with all his time spent with them, they were being pretty dislikeable. You even tried to give them the benefit of the doubt by attempting to hang out with them but it seemed the requirement to be a part of their group was to play volleyball, which of course you did not.
You were waiting outside of Iwaizumi’s class — per usual — determined for him to spend some time with you or at least address the situation on how he wasn’t. When he exited his classroom, he was smiling — but not at you — at his friend with his arm wrapped around his shoulder in a jovial manner, as they joked and laugh about something you couldn’t hear.
“Haji!” You called as you saw him walked by and he stopped in surprise.
“Oh hey y/n, what are you doing here?”
“To come and study, with you” you reminded.
“Study?” He responds with confusion, “oh yeah I forgot we planned to do that, let me just tell my friends and we can go.”
His friend approaches impatiently, “Hajime, you already to go now?”
“Sorry dude, I’m going to study with y/n,” he apologises, “we can take a rain check.”
“Oh that sucks, but it makes sense,” his friend responds his eyes shifting between the two of you, “since we all know your totally whipped for y/n.”
Iwaizumi’s face contorts at the comment, “what do you mean I’m whipped for y/n?” He questions, stepping closer to his friend.
“I don’t mean anything rude bro but,” he starts “it’s like three quarters into the year and this is the first time you’ve really hung with us as all this time you’ve been under y/n’s ass for all this time. Like y/n you don’t mind him hanging out with us or are you just naturally clingy.” He finished directing his last question at you.
You didn’t even acknowledge him but you looked at Iwaizumi waiting for more of a defence, but when your boyfriend stood in silence you looked at him and asked, “is that what you think too Hajime? That I’m just a clingy partner?”
“Well…” he said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “you have been kind of clingy recently, which isn’t a bad thing but it’s like damn can you let a guy breathe.” When his friends heard his comment they all reacted in that boyish dramatic way saying “ooooh” as if that was the insult of the year, making you feel more embarrassed.
“If that’s how you feel than fine,” you said dismissively, “but when you fail your exam, don’t come crying to me,” your voice had a hint of hurt in it but you tried to mask it as best as you could and you quickly turned on your heel and walked off, to where you were planning to go, the library.
You didn’t hear from Iwaizumi from the next two days, this was the first time you argued like this so you didn’t really know what the ‘protocol’ was. You did know that his test was in that time period of silence and you were dying to know how he did.
As you were sitting in the library, listening to your music and studying alone you feel a tap on your shoulder. Looking behind you see Iwaizumi with an apologetic smile, standing sheepishly with his hands behind his back.
“I failed my test,” was what he started off with and it took everything in you to not say, ‘I told you so,’ in response instead you just waited for him to continue, “and I’m sorry for the way I acted and let my friends treat you.”
“Yes that was very shitty Hajime,” you said “like you can have friends, of course you can have friends, but when you’re continuously blowing me off to hang out with them especially when you were the one who wanted to study in the first place, now look you failed and you’ve made me upset, all because you just couldn’t manage your time properly.”
“I know and I’m sorry,” he said taking a seat next to you, “I felt terrible as soon as I agreed with my idiotic friends, and don’t worry I told him off about how he spoke to you later.”
“It doesn’t really matter if you told him off in private when he embarrassed me in public Iwaizumi,” you muttered “but thanks for that i guess.”
“What can I do to make this right?”
“Just stick to your word,” you told him “that’s all you need to do, you can be around whoever you want but as long as you keep your promises and make time for me we’ll be good.”
“Okay I will,” he pulled you into a hug and muttered “I’m sorry” as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. Of course things weren’t immediately better but as he’s apologised now you can only move forward.
“So should we study to stop you from failing the next time?” You said with a joking smile, which he returned.
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AN: so umm that’s that, let me know your thoughts. I haven’t really proofread it so i apologise for many mistakes and I’m really out of touch with my writing so I’m sorry if it’s not “up to par.” But I hope you enjoyed it. Also i have no clue what really happens when you break a bone or whatever, so ushijima having a cast going to physio if its incorrect then oh well
Id also love to hear any thoughts you have about this or I’ll just assume it was absolutely terrible 😪😪😪/j but yeah comments and Reblogs are appreciated
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hmperil · 10 months
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! how haikyuu protect you in public !
includes : sakusa , ushijima , bokuto
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sakusa : first no idea how his (s/o) gets him out in public willingly so most of the time it probably be for things like school or volleyball , quite protective of them because he's scared people will infect them with germs , if in the metro, or something like that , he would pull his (s/o) closer to him to avoid other people touching them and glare at whoever comes close. trust me no ones going to be coming near his (s/o) anytime soon with him next to them .
ushijima : would be clueless most of the time but still if he was walking his (s/o) home back late or something he would wrap his arm around their waist and pull them closer to his body. would walk his (s/o) all the way to their door to make sure their ok ( love a responsible king ). don't think anybody would try and hit on his (s/o) while he was there, one look and they would run.
bokuto : super protective, literally the perfect man . oh your cold ,here's his jacket. your scared, he'll hold your hand and comfort you. your sad, here's a hug (can you tell that im like no.1 bokuto simp yet). anyone comes within a 5 meters radius of his (s/o) will get a whole interrogation of why they're so near to them. at the same time he won't to it to the point its toxic or anything, he does it cause he cares for his (s/o).
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stars-tonight · 17 days
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rating haikyū!! characters based on how much I'd like to date them
slowly starting to realize that I'm the problem. . .
hinata shōyō: 5/10
I'm like 5'3 which is SHORTER than hinata so ig it could serve as an ego boost for him
no but how would we ever reach anything on the top shelf 😭
although I guess he could just jump for it??
very high-energy all the time and I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep up with him
kageyama tobio: 8/10
jeez idk on this one
we'd either get along really well or he'd hate my guts
like hey, you're socially awkward, I'm socially anxious
he's too good at volleyball and it'd make me feel inferior
if he's not motivated to learn English idk how this is gonna work
running around in the snow and throwing snowballs at each other 🥺
tsukishima kei: 8/10
I feel like hanging mirrors would be a big problem
he's a whole foot taller than me
I like the low energy vibes and the appreciation for music though
like imagine walks together where we share playlists with each other??
hopefully his saltiness and intelligence can rub off on me
nishinoya yū: 4.5/10
he's shorter than me help 😭
the top shelf would never get used
a little too energetic for me
although I would LOVE to learn the Rolling Thunder
he's kind of a wanderer and I think I’d prefer stability especially later in life
probably would not work out
sugawara kōshi: 8/10
baking dates??
I feel like he'd be so sweet and attentive as a partner
a bit of a troll which I need in my life
hopefully he doesn't lecture me cause I'm a sensitive little sh--
oikawa tōru: 10/10
I'll let myself be self-indulgent here because I love him too much
I just want to hug him and tell him he's worked hard and he's done so well
I have trouble with words but I feel like with him they'd just flow so easily
vulnerability is beautiful and I'd be so honored if he could be himself around me
amusement park dates!! I feel like he’d pretend to be all cool but shriek so loud when we get to the top
kozume kenma: 9/10
we're both extra introverted so I feel like we could just hang out in his room while he plays games and I read and be perfectly content
writing love notes and leaving them for each other throughout the house 🥺
hear me out, escape room dates??
but also how would either of us be able to get along in society
we'd stay up until 5 am together 😭
on second thought maybe we're a little TOO similar for a romantic relationship. . .
kuroo tetsurō: 8/10
also almost too tall
can he tutor me in chemistry 😭
I know he likes dogs but I’m dragging him with me to cat cafes
ushijima wakatoshi: 7.5/10
also really tall
I'm lowkey scared of him
I feel like he'd be a really traditional and calm partner, both qualities that I appreciate
I think he's like formal but also private when it comes to dates
I just feel like I'd always have to take the initiative and honestly I get really lazy and shouldn't be trusted to plan anything so maybe we just wouldn't end up going on any dates lmao
probably wouldn't work out if I'm gonna be honest
akaashi keiji: 10/10
this guy is boyfriend material
he can memorize all 37 of my weaknesses
I don’t think I have to explain why this guy would be great as a partner
book store dates!!
bokuto kōtarō: 5/10
also too energetic for me
bokuto deserves someone patient and cheerful and I am neither
I'm pretty stoic and have an RBF so if he's in emo mode idk how I'd be able to cheer him up
but I think life would never be boring with him around
miya atsumu: 7.5/10
I like atsumu well enough but I'm honestly super neutral about dating him
like I feel like it could work but there's also people I’d click with more
idk there's really no thoughts in my brain when I think about him in a romantic way
miya osamu: 7/10
I'm a REALLY picky eater so I could never go on food dates or help him with his restaurant
although he IS a little calmer than his brother
also like atsumu, someone that I never thought about dating
suna rintarō: 8.5/10
I think he’s a good height (in between ‘the high shelf would never be used’ and ‘the mirror is problematic’)
he's a phone addict, I'm a phone addict, we'd get along splendidly
I feel like a relationship with him would be pretty chill and lowkey
I don't do well with fancy and formal so that's perfect
late-night stargazing 🥺
kita shinsuke: 7/10
dude I'd be lowkey scared of him
he's just so productive?? and structured in his daily life
like I wish I was that organized but no I'll be staying up until 4 or 5 am on school nights just wasting my life away
I'm too much of a wreck for him
kita deserves better ☠️
sakusa kiyoomi 7.5/10
hmm
I'm a clean freak about some things but also horrendously messy about others so I don't even think he'd like me
isn't he also really tall
why does he not feel tall 😭
like with tsukishima and kuroo you FEEL like they're tall while with suna and sakusa you just know they're tall because the wiki tells you
in my mind sakusa is like 5'9 lmao
hoshiumi kōrai: 7/10
same deal as with hinata and nishinoya
he's a little too short for us to live a practical life
no thoughts about him romantically either
hirugami sachirō: 7.5/10
unfortunately I don't know much about him
but he's going to be a vet!! and I love animals
we will definitely raise cats
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tender-rosiey · 1 year
Note
If you’re open for requests or suggestions, could you do Ushijima, Daichi and anyone else of your choice with a f!Reader who’s insecure due to society’s body standards? If that makes sense, sorry. I’ve been feeling really insecure lately because everyone’s either thick or really slim and they’re all pretty and fit in the standards whilst I don’t :(
“YOU’RE PULCHRITUDINOUS”
— ushijima, daichi, sakusa, atsumu, and oikawa comforting you
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a/n: oop, this took some time; hello everyone <33 FEMALE READER BTW
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:
when he passed by your shared bedroom, he didn’t expect to see you looking dejectedly at the mirror and constantly squishing your stomach.
“y/n…?”
you jump, startled, “oh hey toshi! what’s up?”
he walks towards you, steps soft, “what’s wrong? is something bothering you? did someone do something?”
you smile and shake your head, “nope!” you pat his cheek lightly before giving it a kiss, “it’s nothing you need to worry about, my sweet and buff husband.”
“but as your husband, I need to make sure that you’re happy and comfortable,” he says, looking you straight in the eye, but his hand holding your own and rubbing your wedding ring.
you chuckle lightly, but it’s humorless, “it’s just…I haven’t been feeling the best in my body, it’s like I don’t fit in with what the world considers beautiful.”
“if the world doesn’t consider you beautiful then they are blind.”
you lightly punch his shoulder, “where did you learn to flirt like that?”
“y/n, I am serious.”
for some reason, no words come out of your mouth as you see your husband place your hand on his chest, where his heart is, “I don’t know if it helps, but I firmly believe that you’re beautiful in ways that can never be described in words.”
“oh ‘toshi,” you wrap your arms around him and hug tightly, “I love you, so much.”
a smile makes its way onto your face when you feel him smile slightly into your hair, “I love you too.”
“also, why are you wearing a pink apron?” you ask, a giggle escaping your lips and eyeing his ‘best husband’ apron he has on.
“I was trying to cook something for you,” he says, but looks down at this feet, discouraged.
“and?”
“it doesn’t look appetizing,” he sighs before looking up, “I am sorry.”
“I will eat it anyway, it can’t be that bad,” you assure him before walking towards the door but he holds your arm gently.
“no, i can’t let you die because of food poisoning, especially food I made,” he says in slight panic and obvious worry that you can’t help but chuckle at.
SAWAMURA DAICHI:
mornings with you and your husband were generally organized and calm, a couple of kisses here and there, making drinks and breakfast for each other.
today was no different, except daichi has been searching for his cap for the last 15 minutes but to no avail. he searched high and low and checked every corner of the house.
hell, he even checked the attic and while yes, he stumbled across one of the photo albums he oh so adores but can’t indulge in right now, he still can’t find his cap.
so he settles for the option he should have chosen from the very start.
asking you, his beautiful wife, for help.
“y/n! have you seen my cap?”
“no! did you check under your brown coat?” you call out as you, gloomily, look yourself in the mirror.
“yes, but— oh nevermind; it’s really under my brown coat.”
daichi puts his cap on before running back to your room to give you a goodbye kiss, “hey there, gorgeous.”
“you must be developing the mothers’ super power of finding something quite early,” he chuckles, “or it’s a sign for us to finally do something.”
your cheeks heat up as you swat him away, “SAWAMURA DAICHI!”
he smiles again, taking your hand into his and kissing it. soon, he kneels down, “have I told you how beautiful you are?”
“yo-you don’t have to do that now,” you mumble, trying to make him stand up but looking away when he stubbornly stays in his knees, “you will be late.”
gently, he pulls you down to him and pats your head, “well, I think it’s more important to remind my wife that beauty standards are not consistent and shouldn’t be what she compares herself to.”
you narrow your eyes, “you think that it’s that easy to stop—“
he places a finger on your lips before he continues, “she also should know that she is a whole standard herself and that no one can even compare.”
you, flustered, avert your eyes and look away and he takes as a chance to place another kiss on your cheek, “well! I better going now.”
“good luck,” you say softly with a smile and he laughs.
“I don’t need luck as long as I have you by my side!” he raises his left hand and your name that is engraved on the wedding ring shines.
SAKUSA KIYOOMI:
it was just a day of chilling in your house; your husband has finally gotten a one week break and you both agreed to make all out of it.
so after some discussions, you put all the snacks on the table while he gets the blanket and pillows.
“what movie will watch?” you ask while he sets it up.
“whatever you want.”
“then spinning a wheel we shall do,” you hum while he grumbles.
“y/n, it never lands on something we like.”
you giggle, “that’s the fun of it!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders before kissing his cheek, “we can trash talk it all the more and if you don’t like that then we will spin it again.”
his arms find their way around your waist as the both of you sit down, “then what’s the point?”
“the author wants to add words because this was too short for her liking.”
“what?—“
you cut him off by throwing yourself on him causing him to lay down. he groans but pulls you closer nonetheless, “you’re killing me.”
“good,” you smile and snuggle into his chest even more. you sit for a while cuddling together. soon you speak up.
“omi, kiyoomi, omiomi, oni—“
“what.”
“do I look bad lately?” you question and he looks at you offended as if you had insulted his entire lineage.
his eyebrows furrow and a frown is instantly on his face, “who the hell put that dumb idea into your head?”
“no one— in particular— it’s just seeing how the standards for beauty are nowadays, I don’t exactly fit.”
he sighs and takes a hold of your hand, “I am going to say this as politely as I can,” he takes a deep breath, “fuck society and its beauty standards.”
you snort making him roll his eyes, “I am serious; who said you need to fit?”
“the world, omi.”
he bumps your foreheads together lightly, “well the world is dumb and if you believe it then you will be as dumb as it is.”
a pout graces your face and he press a chaste kiss on your lips, “I will love you til we grow old and wrinkly you loser; I don’t care about the standards they put and you shouldn’t.”
you prepare to punch him but he grabs your fist, but looks away to avoid eye contact; his cheeks are a soft red hue as he speaks, “to me…you’re the epitome of perfection and beauty.”
MIYA ATSUMU:
today, one of the many events atsumu has to attend; you know first hand how much he hates these events, and he doesn’t hesitate to let it be known.
“I would much rather spend my time with ya than a stupid event!” to be exact.
so the solution you found into convincing your husband to go the events is that you would go with him which got you to your current predicament.
“y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!”
“tsumu, have patience for god’s sake!”
“but I wanna see yaaaaaaaaaaa!”
he huffs and grumbles when he doesn’t get a response, “yer so mean.”
after a couple of minutes (really only one minute but atsumu’s patience is non-existent), he gets up and goes to check up on you.
the moment he opens the door, he is met with a sight he wants engrave in his memory forever. you looked beautiful, ethereal, gorgeous, and absolutely stunning to the point he is starting to feel hesitant about letting others see you like this.
they don’t deserve to see such heavenly beauty, he grumbles in his head. not like he does, but oh well some are just privileged. privileged as hell in his case.
“Y/N YA LOOK SO GORGEOUS! BEAUTIFUL! PRETTY! OH MY GOD HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY?!”
you giggle softly but soon start fiddling with your fingers, “you sure? I feel like I don’t exactly look that good.”
“why?” he visibly deflates, and pouts before waddling towards you. he hugs you from behind and rests his chin on your shoulder, “ya look so pretty, ya always do.”
“i don’t exactly meet the standards of the world nowadays.”
he smiles softly, “do ya want to know something?”
you hum and he interlocks your fingers together.
“everyday, I think about how out my league you are,” he starts, “ya always look so gorgeous and are so beautiful, not to mention your amazing personality.”
a smile makes its way to your face and he chuckle, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I also love yer cute little butt,” he cheekily says while squeezing it making you squeal.
“‘tsumu, we have an event we need to go to!”
“hmmm, I think we can just be fashionably late for tonight.”
OIKAWA TOORU:
“y/n, baby, angel, pretty, gorgeous, can you please come to bed!” your husband whines from the bed while you sit on your desk doing god knows what.
“baby, please I need to have you in my arms or I will die!”
you sigh, “tooru, stop the dramatics; I will be with you soon, bubs.”
he pouts before basically screaming in mini-caps, “YOUR HANDSOME HUSBAND WILL REALLY APPRECIATE HAVING HIS PRETTY WIFE IN HIS ARMS RIGHT NOW!”
soon, you throw an almost-empty pack of tissues on his stomach making him groan, “I said I will be with you soon, you baby.”
he gets up, a cute frown gracing his lips as he stands behind you, “y/n! it’s not nice to hit your husband with a tissue pack!”
“and it’s not nice to keep bugging your wife, pretty boy.”
“I-well-,” he splutters before crossing his arms and looking away. from the corner of your eye, you can see an adorable red hue adorning his cheeks.
“I still make you nervous, tooru?” you tease while he huffs a small ‘hush’.
he gets another chair and sits beside you, “ignoring me, what’s keeping you up, pretty?”
he takes a hold of your hand and rubs his thumb over it before kissing the back of your hand.
“just thinking about how I look…”
“how perfect you look?” he teases lightly, putting a strand of stray hair behind your ear.
“no, you loser,” you say chuckling sadly, “I don’t exactly fit with the beauty standards and stuff; I don’t feel that pretty sometimes.”
“hm, that certainly is a pickle,” he hums thoughtfully, “but it’s okay to feel that way, even I feel like that.”
“the world-known hot-shot argentinian setter doesn’t sit the beauty standards?” you deadpan.
he nudges you with his elbow, “yes even the hot-shot setter, but I just want you to know that no one can always fit these standards, even me.”
“in fact, if you ask me,” he says standing up and pulling you in front of the mirror, “I think you’re the most irresistible, charming and alluring person I have ever laid my eyes on.”
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natdu · 1 year
Text
Homesick
"You'll be alright my pretty girl"
"I'm homesick already and it just have been a day!"
"I know, I know. But you'll do it. It's just 2 months and we can keep each other on touch"
"Mhmmm"
His gaze softened
"It's for your dreams and you'll fulfill them. We'll be together in no time I promise"
"Will you call everyday?"
"Each one of them"
"Even if I'm working at night?"
"'course I will"
She dried her tears and sighed
"Can I get a virtual kiss?"
"Anything for you"
| OSAMU, Aran, KITA, Daichi, Suga, USHIJIMA, AKAASHI, Yaku, AONE
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daebraeksan · 2 years
Text
Insecure about your appearance, and talking to Ushijima about it
Genre: established relationship, hurt-comfort/comfort, healing, communication,
Warnings: suicidal ideation, death rumination, (wanting problems to end, wanting a way out, frustrated with problems), fear of pedophiles/nonspecified others’ pedophilic attraction/behavior mentioned
more details under the cut
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Contents: nonwhite, noneuropean, nonamerican reader POV but anyone can read,  specific physical descriptions: babyface, small boobs; bitterness, self-negativity, self-deprecating, invalidating your own hard work, hard on yourself, self-critical, relationship insecurity, trust issues,  helplessness, giving up, perhaps a fundamental misunderstanding of boundaries and how to set them, and perhaps a misunderstanding of to what extent you are supposed to expect people to respect your own boundaries, idk 
Wc: 4636
More Details About Warnings
*in paragraph:[ So, when Ushijima asks you out, ,,,,] mention of [your self-preservation instincts are tied up elsewhere]
*pedophile mentioned in next two paragraphs after [But how can you get over it?] and “protecting children” mentioned in the paragraph after that
*mentioning fear of others attracted to minors in paragraph [ You wish you didn’t have to be suspicious about people when they are attracted to you. ]
*pedophile mentioned in dialogue after [ “Okay,” you say, not believing him, and letting it go at all. “But in the event that you think I look twelve, does that gross you out to be attracted to me and have sex with me?” ] pedophilic society/ scared of others being attracted to children mentioned
*[You don’t want to put up with yourself. ] mentioned in paragraph starting with [You’re a mess]
*feeling dead inside mentioned
~*~~*~~*~
Insecure about your appearance, and talking to Ushijima about it
Some people thrive in a relationship. Some people are relationship people. What is a relationship? Who knows. You aren’t from a white western family so you weren’t raised with those kinds of expectations. You don’t know what you’re doing. What seems so obvious and inherent to everyone else is so foreign to you. And even if you wanted to put on a mask and fake it, welp, you never had any opportunities to practice any of this stuff. 
So now you’re old and weird. The two worst things to be in society. Awful!
You wish you could understand there’s nothing inherently wrong with you. It's not your fault your life randomly happened this way. It’s not your fault you were born to your parents with this face. It’s not your fault which country you were born in. There’s a lot of things that aren’t your fault. 
But why did it happen to you and not to someone else? It does happen to a lot of people, sure, you aren’t the only one. But where are those people? You’ve never seen them. 
If this all didn’t happen to you because there’s something inherently wrong with you, then why did it happen?
No one can say for sure. There are no satisfying answers. 
So you had controlling parents growing up, and you didn’t make a lot of friends in a lot of different social circles, and you didn’t date at all. Okay. So what? What about when you got older? Left, the house, got more freedom? Then what?
Still nothing. Old habits die hard. You hear your parents’ voices in your head and feel their presence in your life no matter how far away from them you are. And they still say annoying shit to you, as if they didn’t raise you to be a little robot, recreating everything they designed for you. 
They did a good job raising you. Kind of. If the intended outcome was for you to have a lot of anxiety, then they definitely succeeded. 
So, anyway, when you had the opportunity to meet Ushijima Wakatoshi, you were terrified at the little part in yourself that thought everything would go well. Still? After all this time? Hope? Really?
You can’t believe yourself. 
What’s going to happen?
Nothing. 
But, still, you can’t make yourself think he’s not cute. You also can’t make yourself flirt, or make yourself pretty, you don’t know how to do that. And you can’t. 
So, when Ushijima wants to hang out with you, you feel very lucky and as if you are in a dream, and also you wish you could respect yourself. You really don’t have to throw yourself at the only person who has ever given you attention. But when will you learn? Never. 
So, when Ushijima asks you out, you have no idea what’s going on, but your self-preservation instincts are tied up elsewhere, so you say yes. You need the experience. You actually like him, sure, but things don't work out for you, so you aren’t even thinking along those lines. It would be nice at least to say that you’ve been in a relationship before. You don’t have to be this strange abomination anymore. 
Of course, no one is going to believe you. You have nothing to prove to anyone (of course you do, that’s the whole motivation of your life. But you wish you didn’t. You wish you could be left alone.) But why do you need to tell people exactly who you dated? You don’t need to say that. 
Anyway, why are you already worried about when you will break up? That’s how your brain works. There’s nothing you can do about that. 
~*~*~*~*~*~
Dating Ushijima is stressful because you don't think you deserve happiness, so if something good happens to you, you are going to be punished later. You don't know where you learned this, but this is your fear, and you have to live with it. 
You don’t expect every woman on the street to hate you because you are dating Ushijima. But you worry about it. Because it doesn’t make sense since you are so ugly. People are going to be so confused. You are so confused. 
You wish that seeing other girls didn’t make you feel bad about yourself. You wish you could be confident in yourself and not feel negatively about yourself or about them when you see other girls. But seeing other girls with pretty faces and big boobs makes you hate yourself so much. You feel so ashamed. You will never find love or happiness, for many reasons, but one of them being your appearance. You spend as little time on social media as possible, especially instagram, so that you don’t have to see people you went to school with becoming twitch streamers because they are hot enough to do so. It’s useless to feel bad about them coopting something you were seen a loser for when you were in school. Must be nice to be pretty, since now, anyone can do anything, and things that used to be for losers and now for everyone. Pretty people everywhere can now also like things like Pokemon and anime and video games. It’s amazing how uncool and weird something is when ugly people like it, but it becomes cool and acceptable once a hot person does it. 
That’s all it takes! If a hot person does something, it's automatically fun and cool now.
Great.
Love that. 
But who are you going to talk about this to? Who wants to hear you complain about how ugly you are and about how it’s unfair that hot people exist? That’s not a very nice thing to complain about. That’s not very feminist of you. So you just shut up because you don’t want to get cancelled, either. You have enough problems as it is without a bunch of fake woke internet crusaders doxxing you.
You can’t say that you’re mad that women are making money off their looks. You can’t say that! Anyway it’s all your problem, not theirs. You’re the insecure one. 
You just have to get over it.
But how can you get over it?
You don’t want to be seen as a honeypot for pedophiles. You don’t want to even get into that line of thinking. Is it better for them to get their urges out on you so that (actual) children are safe? But what about your safety? Just because you’re over the arbitrary age of adulthood according to the state, doesn’t mean your health and safety doesn’t matter anymore. No matter what society might want you to believe.
You don’t want to have to have worries about secret pedophiles in a relationship, when having sex.
You don't want it to be about protecting a vulnerable population (children). Why should your existence be solely about protection? Why can’t you have fun in your own life?
You don’t want to worry about any of that when you’re having sex.
You want to have sex for fun. For your enjoyment. 
Why is that not allowed?
You wish you didn’t have to be suspicious about people when they are attracted to you. Are they attracted to you because you look 16? Because you look 12? Because you look 10.
That's creepy. That's really upsetting. You don’t want that. 
This hurts. It hurts to think like this. All you do is hurt yourself. It’s all you know. You hurt yourself when you think like this. You need to stop saying that. You need to stop saying that you look 10 or 12. It is never a funny  joke. It’s not funny to you. It always hurts your feelings. Sometimes people bring it up unprompted. But usually people don’t bring it up unless you goade them. Why do you do that? Why do you hurt yourself?  It’s none of your business what people think of you unless they choose to tell you. But you don’t like when people have obvious unspoken things they think about you. And you know what they are thinking. Enough people have that thought about you that you can know reasonably well that a new person is going to have that thought, too. 
How else are you supposed to think? You can only speak the truth.
But. It hurts your feelings when you say that about yourself. You don’t want to look 12. You don’t want to look 10 or 8. When does it end? 
Everyone has a different opinion of what age looks like. Culturally, as well. There’s no reason to get yourself down about a white-centric beauty standard, that not even most white people can fulfill. Why should we all be sad about beauty standards? We need to move on as a society. Expand the definition of beauty, or get rid of the concept altogether. You’re tired of hurting.
Everyone looks different. And that’s normal, good, fine, and neutral, and that’s not going to change. People can alter their faces with makeup to look like one another. People can dye their hair to look the same. But at the end of the day, there is always variation. That shouldn’t be a bad thing.
But you wish you could take your intellectualizations and beliefs about society to heart. For now, you feel like you look 12. In reality, you are an adult, therefore you are in an adult body. But if that’s not how society sees you, then who cares how you see yourself? Who cares what is “true”? People believe a lot of untrue things because it “feels” true to them. If people “feel” like you look like a child, and treat you differently because of that, what are you supposed to do about it?
You wish you could see yourself as an adult, or at least, you wish you could stop playing into those “you look 12” jokes. You wish you could make yourself feel better, at least. Instead of making yourself feel worse.
But don’t you always make yourself feel worse? That’s all you’re good at. 
~*~*~*~*~
You can control your appearance if you want. You can get plastic surgery or wear makeup or choose certain clothes. But you don’t want to do that. You don't dress up “for yourself.” if you were dressing for yourself, you would prioritize softness and comfort. You wouldn't prioritize whatever is the latest trend in a whitecishetpateriarchial society. You don’t gain confidence from things like that. You would just hate yourself because it was fake, you putting on a persona, pretending to be pretty and trendy. And you don't have it naturally and you’re lying, etc. Which is an unfair standard because a lot of people don’t have it naturally. The people who have it naturally are rare. And those people probably have different insecurities or problems. But them having problems doesn't help you not have problems. You are still insecure about your appearance. 
You don't know what’s going to change and when and how, but you don’t want to live your whole life putting this much effort into hating yourself. 
~*~*~*~*~
Your appearance is not the only thing you distrust people’s intentions for. Not trusting that people are with you for the right reasons runs far deeper, a much wider breadth. But, through tireless and dedicated work on yourself, you managed to overcome enough trust issues to at least begin a relationship with Ushijima. 
“Managed.” “Overcome.” Maybe all of those are a bit of a stretch. But somehow you are here. It’s miraculous that he’s stayed with you through all this trouble. You are way more trouble than you are worth. It’s really not adding up. But you can’t really make him see reason. Everyone has to make decisions for himself. He could love someone pretty and normal, but somehow he is still here. You are waiting for your time to run out. There’s no way this is longlasting and sustainable.
The ruse is going to be up. You just don’t know when.
You’re already in a bad mood from other things—that’s what you tell yourself. It’s less embarrassing than still being insecure about your appearance. After all this time. How? Can’t you ever learn? Isn’t that such a teenager thing, to be insecure about your appearance? So what? When are you going to grow up? 
Glow up comes at a cost.
You never got yours. But apparently it’s not that easy for other people either. 
It’s embarrassing to still be embarrassed and insecure about your looks. Have you made no progress in the last few years? 
Even if other annoying stuff happened today, right now, you’re most upset about this. 
For all that you are a liar for your own benefit, you’re not always a great liar for other people’s benefit. For example, if you didn’t burden others with your problems, that would be a benefit to them. But you secretly really want to be heard and comforted. You hate yourself for this. Why can't you be self sufficient? So actually you are a bad liar when it comes to hiding your feelings because you secretly want to be comforted. 
You’re a mess. Despicable. Disgusting. Why does anyone put up with you? You don’t want to put up with yourself. 
It’s not hard for Ushijima to read you. He’s very perceptive, especially when it comes to people he cares about deeply. But on top of that, you are annoying, so it’s not hard for anyone to know you’re upset. 
It’s a crapshoot how you’ll react to an outpouring of love. Sometimes you can accept it and sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you can accept a warm beverage or a blanket or a hand on your thigh or a hug.
You feel extra dead inside today, so you’re not sure how well it's going to go. 
You sit up in bed, unable to focus on any youtube videos. Times like this are especially frustrating. If you can’t run away from your problems, and you can't fix them either, then what are you supposed to do? Suffer? This seems unfair. 
Ushijima joins you in bed after his shower. Everything you know about hot people goes against everything he does in real life. Aren’t hot people supposed to not want to breathe the same air as ugly people? What is he doing here?
Your brain cannot comprehend that you can receive unconditional love. Maybe one day. But for now, you are truly trying to figure out the 5D chess game of how and why Ushijima is here. 
“What are you watching?” Ushijima asks. 
You look at the paused youtube video. You look at the five other tabs, also with paused youtube videos. 
“Uh,” you say. 
“Do you want to watch something together?” Ushijima asks. 
“You can pick,” you say. 
He goes to pick something that you both enjoy watching together. You grab his hand. 
“Wait,” you say. You don’t want to watch something you actually like. You won’t be able to focus. You put something on in a genre that you don’t care for but Ushijima might like. Ushijima doesn’t really have watchin preferences, though, not for real. As long as you are happy. He just likes spending time with you.
Again. It’s not adding up. But what can you do? Even if he was lying, you can’t “prove” that he isn’t. If someone tells you something, you have to believe them. Right? Unless they are lying and manipulating. Then you shouldn't. So what’s the difference? 
Whatever. 
You don't think Ushijima is using you for ill intent. What would he gain? All you’ve been in a burden. So he really is here for genuine reasons probably. Unless he’s a fixer. But you aren't getting fixed … maybe he likes a long and difficult project.
Ugh.
This is awful. 
Ushijima stares at the selection for a moment. Then he looks at you. He looks like he’s trying to seem calm but is actually alarmed. 
Tch. 
“Do you want to talk? Or do you want space?”
You shrug. 
“Sit in silence?” he asks. 
You stare into space. It’s rude to ignore him but what is he going to do? If he hasn’t left yet, what’s going to make him leave?
“I’d like to spend time with you, and help in any way I can, but if you want me to go, you can tell me, okay?”
“Okay,” you say. You can’t ignore a direct question. Actually, you can, but you don’t actually want to get abandoned. It would make sense. But you don't actually want it. You want the security of not getting abandoned, but you can't have that either. Nothing in life is certain. Anyone could die at any moment. But somehow life hasn’t taken you yet! Why? Cursed. 
You actually don't want to watch this. You don’t want to watch anything. You want this suffering to end. 
“Do you want to hear about it?” you ask. You’re pathetic. Fishing. Why can’t you just suffer in silence? Why can’t you fix yourself. 
“Yes,” Ushijima says. 
“Even if it’s the same problems over and over?” you ask.
Ushijima shrugs. “I know you are working so hard, and trying your best. And you are making progress. And none of this gets solved in a day. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you.”
You stare at him. He’s throwing pingpong balls at you and you are swatting them away with an athletic prowess you only have in this metaphor, and not in real life. 
“This topic might hurt you,” you say. 
“What’s the topic?”
“I’m ugly and I don’t know why you are with me.”
Ushijima nods. “Yeah. That does hurt me.”
“I’m sorry that I’m hurtful.”
“I don’t think you’re hurting me on purpose. Are you?”
You shake your head. “I wish I was normal.”
Ushijima presents his hand to you, and you put yours in his. You’re not used to positive physical touch either. Just another way you are fucked up. 
“I love you and trust you. I trust you that you aren't trying to hurt me on purpose. I know you are on a journey, and I want to be there with you for it. I want to support you however I can.”
“This journey sucks. I want it to be over. It will never be over.”
“You don’t think it will be worth it?”
“I don’t even know.”
“What would make it worth it?”
You don’t even know how to respond to that. You’re not used to thinking of what you actually want. Just what you are trying to run away from or what you can never have. “I’ve already lost so much. I don't think there’s anything that I can have that would make things better.”
“That is really dire,” Ushijima says. 
“I’m fine,” you say, since you don’t want to be turned into a facility anywhere. What does a capitalist imperialist healthcare system know about healing? None. 
He looks at you and even though it’s a fairly neutral expression, you still feel chastised.
Whatever. 
“What would make you feel better?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay. I love you. Very much.”
“I love you, too.”
“I think you are great. And I love being with you.”
You want to say something like, “And that’s where you lose me.” But why? What’s the point.
“I don’t think I’m meant for a romantic relationship.”
“What kind of relationship would be good for us to have?”
You look at him accusingly. “Don’t you want a romantic relationship?”
“I want to be with you. I like you.”
“But don’t you have romantic needs?”
He shrugs. “I don't know. I guess. But I also feel like you fulfill my needs.”
You cannot believe this. Your brain is truly blanking because this information is not computing. “That is so crazy.”
“Yes,” he says. “It’s true, though.”
You really don’t know how to bring this up. You’re going to, and it’s going to be awkward, because clearly you are a child in some respects. Gross. “But isn’t sex a component of romantic relationships?”
“For some.”
He’s disgustingly inclusive. How cute. “What about for you?”
He shrugs. “I’m happy if you’re happy.”
“Really? Do you want to have sex with other people? Would that make you happy?”
Ushijima looks shocked. “Oh. No? Not really. But why are you worried about if my needs are being met? I’m fine. Are your needs being met? Why are you thinking about this? Does something need to change in our relationship?”
“So you don’t care about sex that much?” you ask.
He starts to blush. “I—No. It’s not that I don’t care about sex. I like having sex with you. I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear.”
He does make it clear, actually, but your stupid brain can’t beleive him. “Do you want to have sex with a hot person sometimes? Or someone who’s good at sex or not boring?”
He blinks at you. You really don't’ knowwhy he puts up with your ullshit but eveyr day you are amazed at how loving and kind and gentle he is. And you hate it. Well actually you love it. But you’re also scared of it. You're scared of it running out. You really don't understand how someone can be kind and loving and gentle to you. 
Why and how? 
“I don’t have any of those concerns,” Ushijima says. “I think you are really beautiful. And I really enjoy having sex with you.”
This is so stupid. We’re getting nowhere. But what are you supposed to do? What do you want to happen? Him to break up with you? That won’t solve anything. It would make sense. But it wouldn't solve anything. 
“You actually think I’m beautiful? Or you just love me so much so you have to think I’m pretty, because you love me so you have to support me?” you ask. 
“I thought you were pretty when we first met. So it’s not that other stuff you were saying. Even though it is true, and I do love you and support you. But I also think you’re pretty aside from that.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Why?”
“I’m not pretty.”
“I think you are.”
“Do you have a weird festish?”
“I feel like it’s normal to think you’re pretty.”
“No one thinks I’m pretty.”
“I think lots of people think you’re pretty.”
“I’ve never been asked out before.”
“That’s really surprising to me, but I believe you. But also maybe everyone was scared to ask you out.”
“Why would anyone be scared of me?”
“I don't know. People may have their reasons. And it might not be because of anything you did.”
“Crazy.”
Ushijima squeezes your hand. 
“Don’t you think I look young?”
“I think you look the right age.”
You give him a stern look. “Please don't lie to me.”
“Isn’t looking young good?” Ushijima asks. “Not that looking old is bad.”
“But looking twenty two is good. Or twenty four or twenty seven. Looking twelve isn’t good.”
“I don’t think you look twelve.”
“It’s okay if you do.” It’s not okay. You really hope he doesn’t actually. 
“I don’t!”
“Okay,” you say, not believing him, and letting it go at all. “But in the event that you think I look twelve, does that gross you out to be attracted to me and have sex with me?”
“I don't think you look twelve, first of all,” Ushijima says. “I love you. And I love how you look. You look beautiful to me.”
“In a pedophilic society?”
“I think you’re so beautiful. And I don’t think that’s wrong of me.”
“Okay, but you think I’m cute, but not turning you on, because no one should be turned on by children. Right?”
“I don’t view you as a child.”
He looks trapped. Have you succeeded in making him uncomfortable? Have you succeeded in being a burden?  Nice! You’re a good for nothing! (Only good at fucking up.)
“Have people made you feel in the past that you are attractive to them because you look young?”
“Whether or not someone says it specifically, that is how it is. It’s always there in the background. I don’t know.” You stare at the black screen of the tv. You don’t want to cause problems on purpose. But you always do. And actually sometimes you do want to cause problems on purpose. But you wish you didn’t have to cause problems to cope. You wish your problems were easier to solve. 
“I’m attracted to you.”
You can’t even feel happy at that. You feel nothing. “Okay.”
“Do you believe me?”
“I don’t know.”
“But if I show you that I’m attracted to you, you will be worried it’s for the wrong reasons?”
“There’s no right reason to be attracted to me.”
He grabs your hand with both of his. He says your name softly. “How can you say that? Do you really think that?”
You huff. 
I see you as an adult. But you won’t believe me when I say that?”
“How can I?”
“Do you view yourself as a child?”
“I don’t know. Yes. In the worst way. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with being a child, but in this society, most children are not treated as people, and are not respected, and are not listened to, and their feelings aren’t validated. And they are told to just put up with stuff, or just believe things that adults say, just because an adult is saying it. And they are not given freedom to protect themselves.”
Ushijima takes a deep breath. “Do you feel respected in this relationship?”
“Yes,” you say. That’s an easy question. Ushijima is the most respectful person you know. 
“Do you feel safe?”
“With you,” you say. “In general, in life, no, but. I know that you love me and want to create a safe environment for me.”
“Do you feel like you have freedom?”
“In this relationship, yeah. Not in real life.”
“Is this relationship real life?”
“It doesn't add up with real life. Everything you do for me and you loving me doesn't add up in real life.”
“This is my real life. I am lucky to have you in my life.” 
You turn to hug him. He envelopes you, and you hate the tears that dry in between your skin and his shirt. 
“I wish I could do something to help. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. And you are helping. I’m just fucked up and stupid.”
“You aren’t stupid. And you’re going through a hard time, but you’re doing so great. And I love you so much and am so proud of you.”
You nod. “Okay.”
“You believe me?”
“I believe you that you are proud of me and love me. I never said I deserved any of those things.”
He sighs against the top of your head. “One step at a time.” You feel him smiling up there. Ridiculous. 
“I guess.”
You press a kiss to his chest, where your tears dried. He squeezes you to him tighter. 
It's so embarrassing when sharing your feelings makes you feel a little better. Wanting attention isn’t a bad thing and is normal. Humans are social creatures. That means they have to give and receive attention. Boo! 
“Thank you for trusting me with these things,” he says. 
“Thank you for listening. You are amazing,” you say. 
“You are amazing. I’m so in awe of you.”
“Okay, okay, quit,” you say, grinning. How can he say stuff like that so easily? Idiot. 
He kisses your hand and presses your palm against his cheek. “My love,” he says.
You are going to die of embarrassment, but you are so, so lucky that you get to die of embarrassment in Ushijima’s arms, and you hope to continue to do so for the rest of your life.
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purpleqilinwrites · 4 months
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when summer comes.
a/n: "i am a passenger princess ushijima enjoyer," i say (hewwo, i'm kaija, adult, never learned how to drive).
fandom: haikyuu!!
character: ushijima wakatoshi
genre: fluff
info: established relationship (ushijima is your boyfriend); post-time skip
warnings: -
synopsis: ushijima promises to take you to paris in the summer.
word count: 0.8k
fluff-vember prompt: holiday
fluff-vember 2023 masterlist is here.
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Ushijima Wakatoshi
The car would seem too quiet once you dropped Tendou off at a train station a few stops down from his hotel.
You had insisted on driving him the whole way, but he simply wiggled his eyebrows and threw finger guns at you and Ushijima after accepting the ride and getting in your rental car. Something about "not wanting to third wheel", which you had also insisted he wouldn't be. You enjoyed having him around, and it was apparent your boyfriend did too.
Tendou flew in from Paris without his partner, since they couldn't take the time off from work for it. Consequently, he also attended the Shiratorizawa Academy reunion party alone. It gave you the opportunity to get to know your boyfriend's best friend better, which you appreciated, but you would've felt less awkward with Ushijima if Tendou's partner had been beside him.
Tendou exited the car in such a rush that you were suddenly concerned that you'd been driving too slowly. He flashed his phone screen to you, as if he could read your thoughts, and you saw that his partner was calling. You stepped out of the car to see him off, since Ushijima was already waiting on the sidewalk.
Standing beside your boyfriend, you watched Tendou cross the street and practically fly into the train station.
Maybe he wanted to get a head start on showing them a bit about the city he grew up in. At the party, you had heard him telling Ushijima that he was going to film himself eating around Sendai for them while he was here, which you thought was so sweet. The next time Ushijima flew somewhere without you – which would be soon, when game season began – you'd make sure to ask him to take some videos to go along with the pictures of his day that he sent you.
You've been standing outside in the cold for a while, feeling a chill come over you as a signal of the time. As if sensing your discomfort, Ushijima removed his coat to drape it over your shoulders. You pulled it tighter around you after you gave him your thanks.
"Should we get going?" he asked, even if he made no move to leave his spot beside you, resting on a guard rail outside the train station where the two of you had seen Tendou off.
"I thought it would've been nice to see Tendou-kun's partner in person," you said, instead, closing the uppermost button on Ushijima's coat under your chin so that it would stay put around your shoulders, even with the wind. "We could've had a café double date."
He hummed as a means of agreement, leaning closer to you to share his warmth. "Satori would have liked that," he said. "He has excellent taste in pastries. You would enjoy coffee tasting with his partner, too."
The wind tumbled past the train station before you could respond, reminding you to get back in the car and away from the clutch of winter. Without brushing your hair out of your eyes, you immediately turned to nuzzle your face into Ushijima's chest to warm your nose and cheeks.
"Okay, we can go now." Your voice was muffled by his shirt, which was far too thin for the weather. Once again, you marvelled at Ushijima's superhuman heat-generating and cold-resisting ability, much more in awe than you were jealous. It would've definitely freed up a lot of room in your luggage if you didn't get cold as easily as you did.
Pulling away from him and instantly mourning the loss of his warmth, you stretched out your hand for him to hold for the short walk back to the car. Ushijima took your hand and pulled your arm around his waist so that you could continue to use him to stay warm. "I don't want you to get cold," he said, smoothing your wind-tousled hair down and tucking the longer strands behind your ears.
"You spoil me." You gave him an appreciative squeeze as you started down the length of the train station, smiling. He put his own arm around you and returned the gesture, easily matching your steps.
"We can visit Satori and his partner in Paris in the summer," Ushijima said, as he held the door open for you. You paused in your attempt to get in the car, before you righted your posture and stood up straight beside the driver's seat. He repeated himself, giving you time to absorb what he was saying. The smile on your face only grew when his offer set in.
You put your hand on his arm, relishing the way he was solid under your palm. That you weren't dreaming. "That sounds amazing, Toshi," you said. "It won't clash with anything on your schedule?"
Ushijima shook his head, giving you a small smile of his own. "I have time in the late summer."
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bokubear · 2 years
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THE HQ BOYS WHEN YOUR FEET HURT
featuring ; ( timeskip ! ) atsumu miya + akaashi keiji + sakusa kiyoomi + ushijima wakatoshi + oikawa toru
warnings ; blistering, drinking, tooth-rutting fluff
notes ; wore heels to an event, this thought came to mind driving home … i cried
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ATSUMU was more than ready to leave this place. the many lights and cameras flashing in all directions made him effortlessly dizzy, and with that dizziness he couldn’t focus on just how gorgeous you were. but honestly, in that dress that hugged you so perfectly you could make anyone drop to the floor at your command felt so unfair. he was genuinely in awe, fully taking in your power. however, signing countless autographs with an already cramped hand and interviews asking the same nosy questions left an exhausted miya in their dust. so the moment he got note of your agreement to leave, he took the chance with haste. “can you make the trip ?” he giggled, eyeing your hobbling form with amusement. you were not having it, making this situation all the more entertaining to him. “shut up tsum…. my feet hurt so bad..” you whined, nearly stumbling into him and right onto the parking lot pavement until he caught you. the setters brows knit worriedly, pulling the tote bag from your shoulders. “well you should’ve just told me baby.” he huffed, bending over to ease your way on his back as a comfy piggy back ride. “what’re you doing ?” you motioned, apparently confused. “hop on sweetheart, i’m being nice.” this caused your face to break into laughter. “such a gentleman.”
AKAASHI had recently been researching different hiking trails to explore. no, he wasn’t a outdoor person but it was boring in the house and he wasn’t going to waste his day with you doing nothing—so instead, he resorted to hiking. yet it appeared he overestimated the length of this trail in particular, pacing himself to make it to the turn-around point. “k..keiji..” you choked out in hurried gasps, causing the editor to glance behind at you and notice your frazzled state. “do you need a break love ?” he eased, holding out a prepared water bottle for you. “i need a car.” you weakly replied, head leering back. “we can turn around here.” he added, brows rising curiously at your once full bottle being handed back in only a few seconds. “please.” and so. well, maybe keiji was overestimating the intensity after all, because your loud heaving allowed the poor decision to sink in further. “do you need a ride ?” he brought up carefully, your head shooting upwards so quickly it became difficult to contain his laughter. “what ? ride ? where ?” — “here.” the raven-head beckoned to himself expectantly. “aw thanks baby.” you sheepishly smiled at his consideration, not wasting the opportunity. nonetheless, halfway down the path back you’d fallen asleep, cheek smudged a giant his shoulder. adorable. “hold on a little longer, we’re almost there dear.”
SAKUSA, only for you, allowed more “intimate contact.” that “intimate contact” despite your assumption consisted massages or perhaps hugs even. a common misconception. you see, you’d attended his practice the day before, underestimating the constant movement of the players bustling from position to position. now laying in bed the morning after, getting up proved a harder obstacle than before. whilst kiyoomi easily rose, preparing breakfast in the kitchen with his soft humming vibrating into your shared bedroom. “kiyoommiii—“ you dragged out, flayed on the bed unhappily. it was impossible, you absolutely could not get out of bed. “what is it ?” he stood by the doorway, observing your dilemma. looking just as breathtaking as always with his messy black curls dancing to his steps. “.. can you massage my feet ?” hesitantly sinking into the sheets you didn’t dare to peek out. unbeknownst to you, the feeling of cold hands rubbing your aching feet stirred your frame. “where does it hurt ?” he narrowed his eyes, brows knitting with concentration. you anticipated a hard ‘no’ and for him to disappear, his willingly loving gestures causing your chest to squeeze with affection. your lack of reply was answered with a soft tap on your leg from the outside. “tell me where it hurts, i’ll be gentle, just tell me when to stop.” this soft side to sakusa was too sweet to handle.
USHIJIMA insisted upon joining you for drinks with a few drinks. he knew this was marking a long time since seeing your work-friends and your drinking intentions would fly out of the window quickly. with this in mind, he quietly sat beside you like an obedient puppy awaiting his cue. the mentioned ‘cue’ being when you began talking nonsense, leaning towards ushijima in a dazed manner. he was easily adjusted to these antics, good thing his presence was present. “and i thought, ‘toshi, you’re saying this to me ?’” the table ‘awwwed’ at your story referring his morning kisses and soft words he awoke you with, ushijima’s face hearing up progressively. “alright, thank you for tonight everyone, i’ll be taking her back now.” he bowed politely, at that moment your reddened heel catching his gaze. the blister forming had gone unnoticed before, but the discovery fueled him to be extra tedious. lightly lifting you bridal style in his arms, he proceeded to carry you to the car—continuously hushing your babbles with small cheek kisses. the ‘morning kisses and soft words’ portion of the earlier story repeated itself the next morning. uninvited but definitely not disliked. the best part being his husky morning voice, heart fluttering.
OIKAWA felt thrilled to dance with you, the multicolored leds casting an authentic glow that lit up the argentine dance floor in a versions array of color. the entire feeling was ethereal. tipsy, but morally more drunk in love than alcohol. your body in his arms with fluid movement left him speechless. ethereal was a good word for it. too wasted to stay any later, his phone screen flashing furiously with a bright 2:48AM told him plenty. fumbling to the taxi, his attention became snagged when you weight fell to the ground, his focus trained fully on you. “are you okay ? babe ? !” he shrieked, wooden orbs filled with panic. “yeah toru .. i think i rolled my ankle.” you lips puckered unrealistically, drenched in the stench of alcohol. “okay okay okay let’s see..” he spoke to himself worriedly, hauling you in a child-like position to lift you up, all the way to the awaiting taxi. “i got you i got you ..” he frantically reminded, the aftermath resulting in a wiped out oikawa spooned in your chest. and from the moment he pried an eye open he was tending to your every need, convinced you were dying. it was quite relaxing actually.
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-maak
plagiarism, repost, and editing is prohibited
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iwachansfavbb · 6 months
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Teaching you how to love(Ushijima Wakatoshi)
Ushi was a very stoic and serious person, For everyone else,but you. You taught him how you could fall irrevocably and hopelessly in love with somebody,how he'd find love in the deep crevices of himself/ his being,how you could grow to love the simplest things bout them,and fall in love with the little ways in which they express themselves,how beautiful love is and how beautiful his life has been with just your mere existence making it all better and worth living,how he falls for you a little more everyday . How when you gift him plants as you've titled him plant dad,he felt so warm and seen, which nobody else had ever made him feel. In the morning, when you wake up to the smell of breakfast and walk towards the kitchen to see Ushi making breakkie,and walk towards him with your feet padding along the floor,and he hears your footsteps coming closer to him and wishes you good morning love in his husky morning voice. How you cheerfully wish him good morning baby and give him a back hug, rendering him flustered as you wrap your arms around his frame,or try to I guess. How he's beet red when you do so,and relaxes slowly into your touch. You cling to him like a koala and he then turns around and kisses your head and tells you how much he loves you. You tell him how he makes your morning so much better when he's home,and not practicing in the morning.
You end up going a cute cafe that recently opened up near your house. It's so cute and aesthetic,and has beautiful creepers hanging from the ceiling, which Ushi loves
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