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#use me instead
thecaywild 4 months
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It鈥檚 a cold day here today
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calico-slut 9 months
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thecoolertails 8 months
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thanks that was really helpful
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silvermoon424 4 months
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This is a subject that really interests me because I (28 years old) had computer classes in grade school where learning how to efficiently type was a big focus. As a result I have a very high WPM (words per minute) count and am an excellent touch typer.
However, I've heard that they started phasing out computer classes in a lot of schools because it's assumed that kids/teenagers already know how to use a computer in this day and age. But smartphones are more popular than computers now, and as result a lot of Gen Z/Gen Alpha kids are able to text very quickly but their typing skills aren't as good.
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thecaywild 11 months
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PS5 or ME. Be honest
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andthebeanstalk 10 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.
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inkskinned 1 year
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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pokeberry5 6 months
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the classic body builder physique jim茅nez gives dick is SO funny to me because it makes him look so female love interest coded, complete with unreasonable hour glass figure and booty-out poses
like ok i'm gonna start with a comparison between how he draws dick vs how he draws selina
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there's that same!! exaggerated curve at the waist
the rest under the cut bc this is gonna be long鈥攊'm pulling mostly from batman (2016) #137-138 (i've been keeping up with gotham war lmao)
he gives them the same sort of broad shoulders that taper down into a tiny waist
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FURTHER, this is technically where dick's pecs are in comparison to selina's curves:
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HOWEVER something about the way jim茅nez draws dick's lats also creates a curve lower down his torso that mimics the shape of selina's tits:
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this exaggerated tiny waist is even more striking in comparison to how he draws other male characters
like don't get me wrong, he definitely favors a broad shoulder to slimmer waist sort of build, but never to the extent he goes with dick
take bruce and tim from the same chapters:
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their shoulder to waist to hip ration is a lot more equal, they've got much more of an rectangular build, the curve in at the waist/hips is gentle
and i swear jim茅nez chooses poses to exaggerate dick's tiny waist (not quite booty-out poses but the same sort of vibe)
like????
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SIR??????
this sort of twisted side pose to show off the tiny waist is extremely reminiscent of the contorted poses comic artists put female love interests in
take this side by side comparison with a panel from nightwing (1995) #1 (i read it recently so it was on my mind):
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there's even!!! the drawn back arm highlighting that inward curve!!
AND THEN
the booty out poses!!!
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rip his back honestly
like i'm pretty sure the design choice was actually to emphasize he broad shoulders and show off his nightwing symbol, but imo all it does is makes his waist look tiny
tldr: strong female character dick grayson ig
Ok as thanks for getting to the end, gratuitous batcooch:
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and a tiny dick sketch
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thedeliaishere 2 months
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ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - Ah, a fumo. Derived from the otomatopeia of touching something soft, mofumofu. They are particularly famous among fans of Touhou, a Japanese multimedia franchise, for being particularly rare and hard to find. Lucky you! This fumo depicts the character, "Patchouli."
INLAND EMPIRE - Keep her close. Her softness and disaffected stare will ward against the coming darkness.
SAVOIRE FAIRE - Wait, did you say rare? I bet we can pawn it for a quick r茅al. Think of all the cool stuff we could get.
SHIVERS - Numbness creeps up from your fingertips, crawling into your spine. Across the bay, young man mourns the loss of the crown jewel of his collection.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Yes. This will do. You know what must be done.
RHETORIC [Legendary: Failure] - Uh, do we? Maybe its one of these political things. They haven't failed us yet.
1. Feed the bloodsucking landlords to the meat grinder?
2. Feed the ungrateful workers to the meat grinder?
3. Feed the ungrateful workers *and* foreigners to the meat grinder?
4. Let the meat grinder starve?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - No, you communard. Do you really not remember? Dig deep and recall what it is that must be done.
VOLITION - Don't. It will only cause you more pain.
1. Do I have to?
2. I don't like the sound of this...
3. Does this have to do with the ex-something?
4. [ELECTROCHEMISTRY - GODLY 16]
Low
25%
+1 Something about rainbows...
+1 Saw preserved jams.
-1 It's better to forget this.
This is a Red Check.
It cannot be retried.
鈿呪殔
Check Success!
YOU - Your neurons fire in tandem, dredging through every scrap of information left in your hungover, burnt out mind, until you unearth something truly terrible.
VOLITION - I warned you.
TASK GAINED: ACQUIRE A MASON JAR
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spectral-honey 2 years
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AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty
Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"
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