I just want your love.
♡ - Synopsis : In which teen Diluc falls inlove yet he isn't sure how to express his feelings, making it so that it comes off as if he dislikes you. // Takes place before Crepus' passing.
♡ - Contains : Tsundere Diluc(?) | Fluff |Angst |gn!reader | Knights of Favonius Diluc & you | Romance | Unsaid words |
♡ - Note : Inspired by my 3 am thoughts !! (no joke it's literally three am lord help me)| This was originally supposed to be fluffy and cute like my other fics but I still don't have Diluc and I'm almost ar 60 so :(
"Hey! How'd your mission go? I heard you had to do it with Diluc" Kaeya said while putting an arm around your shoulder " Yes.. he was a bit rude. Maybe he just doesn't like me, I've heard he wasn't fond of new people.. but we've known eachother even as children." You say with a chuckle trying not to sound offensive towards Kaeya.
"Huh, Rude you say? I mean he's occasionally harsh here and there but rude? Care to give an example?" He said removing his arm around your neck while tilting his head and crossing his arms "Well, for starters.. he started saying quite rude things to me earlier such as; You're gross, You're insufferable or even swearing at me sometimes. I feel like I already have small to no chances of even being friends with him ever again, he's changed ever since I came back from Liyue. "
Kaeya let out a chuckle "Oh, Diluc. He just isn't good with these things but... Trust me he still likes you." He continued as he pats your shoulder then walks away "I'm pretty sure the last time he talked about you was him saying he wanted to be with you everyday, I don't think he hates you one bit .. you're both so dense." He whispered— barely audible, you couldn't hear him properly yet you managed to make out the words " hates and dense "
—
"You're so bad at making a move aren't you, Diluc." Kaeya asks with a sarcastic tone, Diluc turns his head towards his brother "...What do you mean?" He asks with a confused face even though he seems to know what Kaeya meant "Hm really? Your 'insufferable' knight? No?"
His face flushes,almost as if his face replicated his hair but his eyes were also filled with panic " Ah.. so what— They ARE insufferable—! I mean they almost got hurt and they still went for the kill how stupid! I.." he didn't finish his sentence and sighed heavily
"Already having fights? I thought we agreed in 'no fighting' when you became a knight." Crepus' voice scared the two boys who quickly faced their father. "Oh if it was a fight then I would've told you father—" Diluc starts " —But he's inlove" Kaeya cuts Diluc off with an energetic tone
With a quite shocked face, Crepus chuckles to himself "..Then you really shouldn't be saying those things if you're inlove with them. You might push them away Diluc." He sighs " No— I don't like them! Father..." Diluc retorts with his face heating up ever more slightly
"Young master Diluc? Your friend is here! They're looking for you. It seems quite important." Adelinde interrupts their conversation while Diluc nodded and excused himself
"Ah.." if it wasn't the person he was all flustered over, the person who he sees in the midst of the crowd— despite the commotion; your voice is the only thing he hears. " I brought you some of my cooking, I wanted to apologize for troubling you earlier in our mission. I know it was a foolish move, thank you for saving me, Diluc." You say with a gentle smile which he seemed to despise— but in his eyes you were more than beautiful, his brows furrowed even more trying to conceal his redness and embarrassment.
"..is something wrong? If you don't want it maybe Kaeya and Master Crepus would enjoy it? Apologies I wasn't really sure if this is still your favorite food, I remember you saying it was your favorite food a long time ago—" he takes the meal from your hands and opens his mouth to talk but no words escaped his mouth, he could barely utter a word Infront of you when your eyes shone perfectly with the sunset. With no further warning he nodded slightly and shut the door in your face.
He leaned on the door, the food against his chest with his face redder than his hair and his heart beating out of his chest. Adelinde was about to tell him how rude it was to shut the door in your face but Crepus and Kaeya stopped her, the three watched the redhead unable to muster up a word enough to thank you for your gift but he also felt bad for making you feel as if you were a burden and that an apology was in order, he opens the door quickly again only to see that you've wandered off.
A week passed and Diluc never really approached you, he avoided all contact with you. Sometimes you'd get a good look at him and feel like he doesn't really hate you, that he somehow has at the very least affection or liking for you, but that was nothing but delusion in your eyes, he avoided every single interaction. He acted as if he hated you, your guts, you as a person and no matter how much Kaeya reassures you that you're liked by Diluc in some way, he still makes you feel as if he's disgusted by the thought of you.
Your last mission with him came, Kaeya and Diluc became your partner for your mission. It was clearing out a camp of abyss mages. They've gathered up in one place and it has become a very huge inconvenience to people. You came to the scene and with ease, they were dealt with. Or was it? There was barely anything audible to you, you felt as if the man you have always adored saw you as a disgusting person— hell, he probably sees you as those type of people who throw themselves at him for his money and fame.
Going back to the headquarters, Kaeya had a lot to say, he tried to make you two talk. He tried to make Diluc muster up any bit of compliment just to keep your eyes bright like before. In truth, he wasn't the only one that noticed your eyes had gone dark. Everyone did, especially Diluc, he thought you hated being with him after how he's treated you these past few weeks. It was a never ending cycle, he makes a mistake, you try to make up for it, he doesn't tell you how he feels, you get distant, he wins you over and you go back to being yourself once more and then it repeats.
A day has passed since your mission, your things were packed, you visited the winery to bid goodbye to the man who treated you as his own child and the man who supported you with every small dumb decision you have ever made— and the most important man you have ever met, the man that changed your life, your view of love and affection.
Unfortunately, Diluc stood quiet during your goodbyes, he was behind Crepus and Kaeya who gave you a hug and bid Goodbye. He stood in the shadows unsure of what to do next, he stood unknowingly shedding a tear.
"Diluc, can we talk? Just us." You say as he nods and steps out of the winery with you, he stares at you with his ever so dead eyes.
"I have longed to tell you how I felt, how I always felt the need to impress you and how I—.. I want to tell you that you are the only reason I came back to Mondstat, the only reason I became a knight. Diluc I adore you, If I may—; love, even. Diluc I love you, I have for a very long time. All I ever wanted was to tell you yet you manage to somehow make me aware of your dislike of affection. I understand, I really do. It won't stop me from how I feel for you, but Diluc Ragvindr.. there is no point of me being here if it wasn't with you, if It wasn't by your side making you feel happy— if it wasn't with you, there is nothing in this world- in the whole of Teyvat that matters. So in other words, this is goodbye. Diluc, I hope you live a happy life and love someone you truly think is worthy and may they treat you how you deserve to be treated and may they love you as much as I do."
You waited for a brief moment for a response, you hoped.. atleast a bit, atleast a little bit that he would say he felt the same way yet he stood quiet. You chuckled to yourself as you felt your eyes welling up. "Goodbye, Diluc." You walk away with your things and your tears running down your face while Diluc stood in regret, his mouth could not conjure up anything, his body was frozen, his tongue was tied. His words were trapped in his throat and there was no way to get them out. He watched you walk away— you were too far, too far away from his reach. He felt his eyes water, and soon his tears were unstoppable, they felt like fire in his eyes. He wanted to chase after you, he wanted to move his body yet he was frozen in place, he was gone— you, were gone. And it was solely because of him, him not being able to express his love, his emotions.
To this day, he wishes that you would walk into his tavern, that you would come back and say you missed him. That you still loved him, but who was he to ask for that when he had long received your wedding invitation. Who was he to long for the love of someone he hurt and who was he to wish for you to ruin your perfect life with your partner now. He can only wish for you to live a happy life, much like what you wished for him though he knows deep down that no one could ever compare to you.
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