On the verge to self destruct

Why does nobody stay? Why am I nobody's favourite person? This is not fair, I'm trying my best but it's not enough for anyone.

Dating me really isn't that difficult you just need to give me constant attention do what I tell you be emotionally dependent on me not talk to anyone else let me do what I want to you tell me every single detail about your day give me the passwords to all of your accounts block every boy but me tell me I'm pretty at least 10 times a day allow me to put cameras up all over our house agree to stay locked up when I'm not home let me taste your blood get my name tattooed all over you and literally don't think of anything but me <3

I just want to live out a fantasy of attending the academy alongside everyone tbh so whatever headcanons you have I'd be down for 👍

It seems you've been carving a place out for yourself at Mesagoza's highly esteemed Academy, haven't you?

[Spoiler Warning! Post Operation Starfall and Path of Legends] [Romance/Pining + Possible touch of Polyamory] [Slight Content Warning! Obsessive and unhealthy behaviors]

I went a little overboard with the pairings, very indulgent. You're popular, you know?

Your life at the academy has been a somewhat quiet one, despite the small interpersonal issues that you seem to keep finding yourself in. It hadn't been the worst, however, attending classes at your leisure and having a space of your own. The academy lived up to its reputation, and the studying hadn't felt overly laborious-- if anything, you were worried you were finding things to be a bit too easy.

The faculty have all come to recognize you, from the lunch ladies that Arven spends time with to the adjunct professors that have been overseeing the Star Training Center volunteer efforts, there's probably none in the academy that couldn't recognize you for one reason or another.

Speaking of, the former bosses of Team Star have taken it upon themselves to be your people, self-appointed. They seem almost a little possessive of you, potentially under the suggestion of Penny to keep watch on you while at school. Even though they're not afraid to stick up for anyone who might need it, it feels a little more personal when Mela herself comes storming in at the slightest sign of friction between you and some other student, or when Eri hovers over your shoulder in the cafeteria, sending threatening glares at whoever even thinks about staring at you for too long. You almost feel bad for Arven and Nemona who've begun to be crowded out by the possessive Team Star Bosses-- who have each at some point whisked you away under the guise of needing you for whatever excuses they've come up with in their little book of strategies to steal you away.

Not to mention, one of the Team Star Bosses, Atticus, walks completely silently and lingers whether you're aware of him or not. When you do spot him, he's quick to drag you to somewhere secluded so that he can play with your uniform and tack little dress-code-violating trinkets onto your attire. Miss Tyme has given you some flack for it, but she's a little more forgiving with you than she is with the other students and faculty, which you think might just be blatant favoritism working in your favor. However, favoritism only gets you so far, and Atticus seeks you out often enough that your professor's patience is wearing thin. (She knows, however, that your little team of delinquents are willing to listen if their time with you is on the line.) Ortega and Giacomo are constantly working on their respective hobbies, and come to you for feedback on superficial roadblocks that aren't really a problem, not that you know that-- It's an opportunity for praise, and they live off it. Giacomo seems to be adjusting somewhat poorly to his return to the academy, more so than the other Team Star Bosses, and so he seeks you out when he needs a quiet moment away from some of the other students. He's capable of socializing, but struggles to trust other people outside of Team Star. And Ortega, well, he can be a bit abrasive toward other people, in a way that's witty but also rubs people the wrong way. He doesn't really care about other people and only tones down the sass and sarcasm when he knows you're watching.

He's in actuality the most possessive, secretly. Everyone knows he acts sweet and innocent around you, but the moment you turn your back he becomes an absolute menace... His dapper pastel look only whispers warning to your classmates not to step too out of line. Friendly is fine, but he's a Tinkaton ready to hunt the greedy Corviknight that dare step a toe too close to his treasure.

While they spend a lot of time out in the field doing their community service hours, they've made a point of memorizing your erratic study habits as well as possible, and it's Penny's job to figure out the schedule so they can maximize their chances of running into you. She tries to come across as not as invested in the mission as they are, but she's low-key keeping tabs on you and the others aren't afraid to call her out on it if she acts like they're weird for being so obsessed with what you're doing. Truth is, there's honestly no one out there as pure-hearted as you, as little as you know it. You're a tantalizing thing after all that you've done for a gang of social outcasts without a single thought about what it might do to them. Of course, they have to be careful, or else that battle-maniac student council girl might crack down on their activities. Though it's pretty obvious to them that she's got something going on with you too, as her punishments seem much more targeted when she catches them doing something they shouldn't.

They... Haven't discussed their sensitivities toward you in general, but each of them sort of does their own thing and then they reconvene when it benefits them. It's silently been agreed upon that they each get to take their chances and aren't allowed to sabotage each other on purpose. No hard feelings when things skew in one's favor, not that momentary bitterness can entirely be avoided. On rare occasions, it is you that stumbles upon them while out and about. Atticus especially for some time, when you were out doing research in his neck of the woods. It's Mela that sees you least, despite her base being literally the easiest to get to. She's definitely had a hard time regulating her jealousy since she's the emotionally upfront type.

It's Giacomo that's the quietest with what he's doing, silently observing the others and trying to strategize in secret. The whole not being good with people is a little bit of a stretch, though not entirely a lie. Besides, he's kept it under ropes that you've let him into your dorm room on a couple different occasions now, and the fact that he's writing a song and has a little less than subtly eluded to the fact that it's absolutely about you.

...And it's Eri that's pushing that Arven boy away the most, not that Ortega hasn't been trying to get him to back off. Actually, they've all had him on their radar at some point. There's no denying that you've been friends with him longer than the rest of them, or that there's some strange little secret between the two of you that rubs them the wrong way. Eri's the only one that's physically able to match him, and she tries to eat lunch with you whenever she can because it really grinds their gears when he sneaks off with you to do Arceus knows with his little sandwich picks and baggies of culinary ingredients that you just so happen to like. He's too obvious. Around the school, long before you came, everyone knew who he was and how impossible it was to approach him. In that sense, they suppose they can understand him, but that doesn't change the fact that they're rivals and currently at a disadvantage when pitted against him.

Actually, it's a little crazy how many people are pining after you. ... {Pt. 2?|| Maybe with the Gym Leaders/Academy faculty/League Staff} {Larry, Grusha... I may not like Geeta toooo too much but I definitely see her having an eye for you... Funny Iono scenarios go brrr}

'Not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough why does it feel like it's not enough?'

Optimus thought bitterly in his berth. He's happy on how far things have come along with restoring Cybertron and bringing peace with the Decepticons and Autobots. He speaks with his team, and he has made other lovely acquaintances recently, too. Yet why does his spark ache? Why does it feel so empty..

It's not always like this, though. He is genuinely grateful and happy for everything. There are finally others around him that he can speak with. Yet there is one mech he hasn't seen much of or crossed blades with in a long time. It should be a good thing, but the hollowness of his spark says otherwise. How his thoughts drift to him time and time again, no matter the distraction, says otherwise. Every part of himself is saying otherwise.

Megatron.. It's truly only in late nights like these when he's alone that his spark eases and allows for that familiar ache he's familiar with to cling to his spark and claw at it. Sometimes drawing tears from his optics.

"I probably just need to recharge.." Optimus does need sleep. Every time this happens, after a good nights rest, he's good as new... He just hates how the feeling persists night after night.

Devotion

Give me strength

to be able to continue living halfway;

strength that sustains me

in the hopelessness of my reality.

Tear from my chest the love

that I have not asked for,

free me from this hard imposed cross

or let me die in peace.

You’ve kept me awake from peaceful dreams

that swayed with their murmur

days established in a chimera,

to be reborn to the pain of absence...

And in desperation I have learned

to pray to the God that I cannot find

and a devil who ignores me...

How many nights have I cried

facing the sea that separates us?

How many?, since abandonment

I scream his name with rage

and the waves return to me relentlessly

the bitter roar of loneliness.

When they don’t bother to get to know your heart and soul because they’re too preoccupied getting addicted to your kindness. They don’t love you as a person. They love how you love them. Be careful never to let anyone get addicted to you. It can suck the life out of you.

By @thecareertherapist

Loosing touch with reality.

I want to be pretty,for them.

I just want your complete and total attention and for you to never think about anything else ever why is that too much to ask:/

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