Going Home

A guy leaves home to makes his way in the big wide world, unfortunately the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

At the age of 23 years old, I was finally allowed to leave home, to set up my own place and finally have a chance of freedom and hopefully find a relationship. Living at home with your Mum, not driving and not having a good job is not the way to impress a girl. But finally I had secured myself a decent job working as waiter in a restaurant, saved enough for a deposit and the first 2 months rent for my place and hopefully I could work long hours and attempt to learn to drive.

6 months down the line, my world had completely fell apart. The cost of living was extortionate, I had severely underestimated how much life would cost, food, water, gas, electric, council tax. The bills became too much, I went to a couple of payday loan companies to try to ease the burden but the more I borrowed the more debt I acquired until one day the bailiffs came calling. I had been on a morning and afternoon shift and returned back to my poky flat to find 2 rather burly men running their eye over my stuff. They informed me they were bailiffs and had been sent by the council to recoup over £300 I owed them along with the bill from the utility company to recoup another £300. They handed me a letter that along with their fees I owed them nearly £1000. I had nothing near to that amount. I begged and pleaded with them that I could get the money but they knew better and saw right through me. So inevitably they took everything, every single piece of furniture I owned, my tv, bed, microwave, fridge, computer, and my wardrobe, including every single piece of clothing I owned. All I was left with was the work uniform I was wearing, the underwear I had on and my work shoes. That night I had to sleep on the floor, shivering away with fear and sadness. I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t wash, shave, eat. I turned up for work early hoping to grab a quick wash in the customer toilet but I was met by my manageress, Hazel. Hazel didn’t need an excuse to sack me, she hated me. And when she saw me in my crumpled shirt, dirty trousers and mucky face, she sent me packing. I trudged to my flat, inserted my key, it wouldn’t bloody turn. I tried and I tried, then I spotted the envelope sticking out of the mail box. t informed me that the rent had bounced and due to the landlord hearing about my financial troubles, he changed the locks and cancelled my tenancy.

I was so distraught, I slumped to my bum in the doorway and cried. I had no idea what I was going to do, I had no money whatsoever, no possessions, no where to live, nothing to eat, I was basically homeless. Throughout this whole ordeal I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to go and ask my Mum for help, despite the mountain of debt I had accrued. As the darkness began to fall, and with nowhere to go and nothing to wear, I had to make that gut wrenching decision to make the 3 mile walk across town out to the suburbs and knock on my Mums door. The walk took me about an hour, it had gone pitch black and to be honest as I was leaving town through the maze of streets past some pretty dim council houses, I was pretty terrified. At best, I was a bit of a wimp. I hated conflict, I hated being shouted at and my stature wasn’t exactly intimidating. All I had on was my scruffy work shirt and trousers and a thin fleece. As I finally escaped the intimidation and entered the quiet suburb and cul-de-sac of my Mums street I stood there at the top, staring at my Mums straight ahead of me. The front porch light was on, the front room light was on so she was still awake. I stood there for a good 10 minutes contemplating whether or not to just sneak into the shed and sleep there for the night, but I took too long and before long Mum had spotted me and was stood on the porch.

“Hello?” She asked curiously.

“Hi Mum. Erm... can I come in please.” I stuttered.

“What’s the matter? What happened now?”

I walked in past her and too say she displeased was an understatement. She sat down in the front room, whilst I stood there in the middle in front of her. Mum was a very picky lady, she would never let anybody sit down who looked scruffy and I was no exception.

“Mum, I kinda made a huge mistake. I got into a bit of trouble....”

“You mean like I told you you would. How much debt did you accrue? And don’t think I don’t know the truth either. I told you you weren’t a big boy and you had to go find out the hard way. So now you’ve gone and ruined your future. I told you to stay here longer but oh know, you’re the big boy and you know better.”

I broke down in tears whilst she continued to scold me like the fool I was.

“Mum, I have nothing left. No clothes, no money, no possessions, nothing.”

“And? What do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to bail you out?”

“Please Mum. Can I borrow enough to buy some new clothes and I will pay you back when I get another job.”

“So you lost your job as well? Who is going to want to employ a bankrupt, school drop out with nothing in his life.”

That comment became too much and I started bawling my eyes out. Mum continued to rant and rave about how stupid I had been, how much of a fool I was and what she had in store for me.

“No, I will not buy you any clothes. IF you want to stay here, you will earn your keep. And I will give you the chance to start your life again. You have no clothes, no money and no possessions, I will sort your debts but you will restart your life again.”

“How do you mean?” I asked curiously.

“Go take those clothes off, shower and come back down here.”

I didn’t hesitate, I jumped in that shower. My old shower dribbled out lukewarm water, now Mums was a power shower. I felt so relaxed and clean for a change. But a little part of me was hesitant as to what my Mum meant by starting again. I tried to put it off for as long as possible but it was inevitable that I would have to face up to Mum. Getting out of the shower I grabbed my towel and the first thing I noticed was that the pile of clothes I left had gone. I walked into my old room, it was a blank shell. There was nothing in there, the possessions that were once in there, my bed, wardrobe were taken to my new place. And now they were in the possession of the bailiffs. I tentatively walked downstairs and into the front room. Mum was sat on the settee still, legs crossed, looking rather displeased like the moment she saw me on her doorstep.

“So, we have concluded you have absolutely nothing left. I disposed of that disgusting work uniform you no longer need and those boxers were a disgrace. So what are you going to wear to bed tonight? Come to that, where are you thinking of sleeping tonight?”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the ground. Stood there in my towel, like a child being scolded.

“Well like I said, you will start again. This is the only piece of clothing I will give you. Take it or leave it. It’s your choice.”

She leaned around the side of the sofa and to my shock, she pulled out my old cloth nappies and plastic pants.

“Mum, the nappy. Please no?” I begged.

“That’s fine, i’m sure you will be fine wandering the streets in that towel for the night.”

“But Mum, I don’t need the nappies again, please.” I pleaded.

The reason I say again, was that I had to wear nappies up until the age of 18. I didn’t have anything medically wrong with, the doctors called it psychological. But either way, until then I had little control over my bowels. So the easiest way for Mum to deal with it was keeping me in those stupid cloth nappies. They were super thick, usually resulted in me getting nappy rash at least once a week. The whole neighbourhood at the time knew I wore them, regularly I would wear just the nappy and plastic pants. All the kids at school knew, I was bullied every now and again but according to some it was my own doing.

“You will be back in the nappies for the foreseeable future. Right now, this is the only piece of clothing you own. Don’t worry, I will still change you. But you will need to earn your keep around here just like when you was a teenager. If the neighbours need a job doing, I have told them you will be round. I am giving you a chance to restart your life.”