The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀
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Trying to date Batman/Bruce Wayne must be like being Scott Pilgrim except on steroids. Like oh you want the date the Dark Knight? You wanna kiss him? Deal with Catwoman. No we’re not done now try not to get stomped to death by Harvey Dent. Okay now try not to get murdered by Talia Al Ghul in your sleep. Superman is waiting outside too btw. Watch out for Ghostmaker around the corner he’s gotta steel chair and a knife. Joker is not his boyfriend but that freak is absolutely gonna be a problem. Good luck soldier.
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"You're laughing," Bruce deadpans, and even with those contacts on, that burning glow of anger lights up his brown eyes whiskey golden. "Our toddler stole your car, robbed a toy store, and you're laughing."
"You look so beautiful when you're angry. "
"Harvey."
"Doll. It's funniest shit ever," Harvey exclaims, holding a pleased looking Jason, happy as a clam, cuddling a wonder woman kangaroo plushie.
Jason giggles, " shit!"
Bruce groans. Harvey grins harder, "That's funny too! Come on, you're tellin' me our kid ran over the clown, and you don't find it funny in the slightest."
"Not at all."
"You're just mad you didn't ran over him first."
Bruce doesn't deny that. "He's taking the toys back."
"Eh, come on."
"Harvey."
"Oh, what are ya gonna do? Send me back to arkham?"
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"You don't listen to him, kiddo," Harvey says, behind a wall of glass, back in his orange scrubs. Harv is irritated with him because his Bruce time is limited. "You're gonna do great things. Great, destructive things."
Jason laughs, two front teeth missing after following Dick on patrol. Turns out flying takes more than self-confidence and prayer. "Shit."
Harvey still laughs like a maniac.
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I like to think whenever Two-Face kidnaps Gotham's beloved prince Bruce Wayne, Brucie would use the time he was with his former friend to catch up on sleep, because even though Harvey's a villain and all, he still associates him with warmth and safety, and he knows that Two-Face/Harvey would never actually harm him.
Two-Face would just let him. Maybe he'll start reading a book, with Bruce leaning on him with Harvey's arm wrapped around him, until either Batman's flock or the GCPD show up, or Alfred just pays up the small sum (because 5 million bucks is a small sum for the Waynes) demanded and then Two-Face would just, let Bruce go. When it's Alfred paying, Bruce will even give the villain a hug and/or a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
:) I just really like BruHarvey/TwoBats
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Kidnapper: Good morning, Two Face Bitch
Bruce, sweating and doing damage control in Brucie mode: Too faced?! I know my makeup skills are amazing but it's a little too far to call it another face-
Kidnapper: Shut up! Call your boyfriend Two-Face and tell him to back the fuck off my turf
Bruce: ... My what?
Kidnapper: Don't play dumb with me! Everyone knows you've been dating since he was still a lawyer
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“Must you betray me with a kiss?”
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Self-indulgent TwoBats/BruHarvey thing I did at 4AM, lol. IG as part of my little hypothetical series of Harvey sketches. Basically, Harvey is trying to bond with the nocturnal, all-nighting Batboys but it’s getting mixed results. He’s trying his best.
Image description: Fanart of DC’s Harvey Dent/Two-Face and Bruce Wayne. Harvey and Bruce sit together at a table, Bruce’s hand on Harvey’s arm while Harvey smokes. Harvey is visibly exhausted. A mug sits beside Bruce with ‘dad of all time’ written on it. Harvey also has one, which reads ‘dad in training.’ There is dialogue for them. Bruce questions Harvey on why he didn’t come to bed last night, and that he heard from Alfred that he was bonding with the Robins. Harvey simply replies “uh-huh” until Bruce presses for more. Harvey replies that he doesn’t think Dick and Tim like him despite joining them in a karaoke game, and that Damian kept him up by wanting to play hide-and-seek around the manor. Bruce then asks about Jason but is quickly cut off by Harvey replying: “my favourite, obviously.” End of image description.
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Bruce Wayne is simply everyone’s work wife
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