#tw: abortion mention | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sidneyxeckhart · 3 months

Text

[cis female and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [SIDNEY ECKHART]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [ALICIA DEBNAM-CAREY]. You must be the [TWENTY NINE] year old [PARAMEDIC]. Word is you’re [STRONG] but can also be a bit [PARANOID] and your favorite song is [SWEET DISPOSITION BY THE TEMPER TRAP]. I also heard you��ll be staying in [FISHER’S COVE]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

INFORMATION:

fullname. sidney eckhart.

nicknames. sid.

gender. cis female

pronouns. she / her

d.o.b. november 29th, 1994 | ( 29 years old )

astrology. sagittarius ☀ libra ☾ virgo ↑

birth place. camden, maine, usa.

hometown. camden, maine, usa / brisbane, australia.

current residence. fisher's cove, aurora bay, california. ( @aurorabayaesthetic )

occupation. paramedic.

religion. not religious.

tattoos. letter 'd' on wrist ( reference pic ), 'let it be' ( reference pic ).

piercings. earlobes, helix.

marital status. single.

sexual preference. heterosexual.

family. louise eckhart ( mother ), simon masters ( father ).

children. delphine eckhart ( daughter, 4 y.o. ).

CHARACTER INSPO:

agnes hart ( the lost flowers of alice hart ), katie ( safe haven ), sansa stark ( game of thrones ), lily bloom ( it ends with us ), lexie grey ( grey's anatomy ).

PERSONALITY:

+ strong, caring, gentle. - paranoid, hopeless, cautious.

BIOGRAPHY:

( tw: domestic abuse, abortion mention )

Sidney Eckhart hasn't always had it easy. The daughter of a travelling American and an Australian surfer instructor meant that she was constantly torn between two places. Her mother, Louise had been travelling around Australian, in the time between finishing high school and starting college, and got swept up in a whirlwind romance on the beaches of Brisbane. It wasn't hard to fall in love with the place and the people, but especially Simon Masters. He was young, handsome and said all the right things, it was a holiday romance but Louise went back home to the States with a souvenir.

When those two little lines appeared back in Louise's hometown of Camden, Maine - it was more than a surprise, it was life-changing. While it hadn't been the plan, how often does life listen to such things? Sidney and her mother lived with her grandparents who gave never-ending support and love to their grandchild. Due to Louise's young age, the two felt more like sisters than mother and daughter, especially since Louise lacked the emotional maturity to be a mother but also she still went to college every day to become a teacher.

Sidney was never much interested in what other kids were. Forever having her nose in a book, she took life too seriously. There was always something to worry about, her mother's unwillingness to be a great parent, the ravages to time that would take her grandparents away from her, what her father was life and if he knew she even existed. Given how little she could control the first things, she could control whether or not he knew he had a daughter. A single photo of her parents amongst a group of young travellers under a sign that said Kirra Point Surf School had her walking to the local library to search the address.

The correspondence between her and her father went on for years. His first letter didn't come for months, presumably while he mulled over whether this was real or not. But the phone Sidney had sent of her and her mother was evidence enough it seemed. They exchanged letters for years without anyone knowing, eventually moving to long-distance phone calls. When she was twelve, her father sent her a plane ticket to visit. Her mother was firmly against it, but her grandparents knew that Sidney couldn't live a life without knowing her father. Meeting her father for the first time was the highlight of her childhood, she loved the place and could see how easy it was to love a man like Simon.

From this time, Sidney would visit Brisbane and stay with her father. It was the highlight of every year and as she went through her years, she found herself wanting to stay more and more. After graduating high school, Sidney spent a year on the shores of Brisbane, just as her mother did. But eventually, it was time to go back to reality. When deciding what she wanted to do with her life, Sidney decided she wanted to save lives. At first, she thought of nursing but there was something about keeping the person alive long enough to get the help they needed that appealed to her. So upon her return to Maine, she started studying to become an Paramedic.

While she wasn't in medical school, she did often frequent the same library that medical students did to study. And it was here that she met Kaiden, a young, rich, doctor-in-training. They fell madly in love, fast and hard. Sidney didn't ever think she was the kind of person who fell in love but here she was, acting a fool. They moved in together; finally out of her grandparents house, Sidney really thought that this was her happily ever after. But it quickly turned into a nightmare.

The warning signs was small, at first. When it came time for his exams, Kaiden would become irritable, angry. There was a lot of pressure from his family to succeed, another doctor in a long line of overachievers. And while Sidney always tried to help, it seemed that when he was in a mood like this, she could only ever say or do the wrong thing. Then one night, things became physical and Sidney began to wonder how she'd let her life become like this.

She hadn't noticed how isolated she'd become. Avoiding friends and her family, just to avoid having to answer questions about how things were going. Sidney didn't want to have to lie. Work became her safe haven, helping people when she couldn't help herself. But then he'd apologize, make up for all his wrongdoings and Sidney, being so devastatingly in love with him, would forgive. Things would be good for a while, but the cycle would repeat. Time after time.

When she found out that she was pregnant, Sidney wanted it to be a good thing but all she could feel was crushing dread. Maybe she could live like this, but a child couldn't. And while she'd wanted to hide it from Kaiden until she could look at her options, he found out quicker than she'd expected. He'd used his access to hospital files to check her appointment notes with her doctor who confirmed the pregnancy. While he was thrilled, Sidney was not, but she had to play the part. Pretending that she was just trying to find the perfect way to tell him. If he thought she wasn't happy having his baby, she didn't want to think what would happen to her, and now their unborn child.

Throughout her pregnancy, Kaiden was the man that she'd fallen in love with. Helpful, thoughtful, funny. It was almost as if the abuse she'd suffered had never happened. As if she'd made it all up. And when Delphine was born, maybe they'd finally become the happy family she'd thought they could be. But it only took six weeks for Kaiden to become irrationally angry, the lack of sleep catching her off guard and paying for it with a bruised cheek.

She had to be smart, calculated. Sidney didn't want anyone else getting hurt because of her. Slowly squirrelling what little money she had away for a day things got more than she could handle. As long as Kaiden didn't hurt Delphine, she could wait until there was enough to support them. It took years. Sometimes, nothing would happen for months and months, a false sense of security would wash over her and then, it would happen again. Every time, the plan to leave began to take shape. When she finally reached out to her grandparents for help, not for money but a place to stay, they'd recently bought a summer house in a town called Aurora Bay. She didn't tell them the extent of everything, just that they needed a place to stay. A place that Kaiden didn't know about.

Sidney talked to Delphine all the time about leaving, escaping the clutches of the man who'd fathered her child. But every time, it wasn't enough. What if hunted them down? What if he found them? It only took one bruise to bloom on Delphine's arm to realise that they needed to leave. Drugging him with sleeping pills, Sidney made her escape in the dead of night, her daughter in her arms. A car purchased with cash, hidden away, awaited them. They drove all the way to Aurora Bay not stopping except for gas. Eventually they arrived at their new home in Fisher's Cove, a fresh start.

Taking a job as a local paramedic, keeping to herself mostly, Sidney worried about putting down any roots. At any point, if Kaiden caught wind of where they were, they might have to leave. But as time passed, they couldn't help but get sucked into the town and its people. Now Aurora Bay is their home, a place where they are free.

#∘₊✧────── sidney eckhart. ( intro )#aurorabay.intro #tw: domestic abuse #tw: abortion mention

3 notes · View notes

thelizaxlevin · 1 year

Text

closed: @wesxevans

where: liza's room

Just days ago Liza had been the happiest she'd ever been in her entire life. Everyone loved her creations from the bakery, the festival was so much fun, the lanterns in the sky were beautiful, and Wes loved her. Wes- her funny, sweet, complex, caring, wonderful boyfriend actually loved her. And god how she loved him back. She hadn't taken the necklace off since he'd given it to her, and she wore it proudly, all too happy to talk about it if anyone asked. She'd even been googling things online about crystals, starting to write a list of ones to ask about and maybe get for both herself and him because it was important to him and she wanted to be more understanding of him and his practices.

Liza was so, so happy she felt like she could burst. Her life felt perfect.

So of course, the universe decided to throw a wrench into it all.

It'd been a few hours since she and Sterling had literally gone to the next town over just so no one would notice the Levin sisters shopping for a pregnancy test. Been a few hours since she took it and the little screen said the word in stark, boxy little letters. Pregnant. Liza was pregnant. She didn't even know for how long since she as Wes tended to be safe...

She'd stopped in front of her mirror a few times, looking herself over in it. She'd just thought the slight curve to her stomach was from eating too many cakes and donuts over the last week. But now..

Could she do this? Could she have a baby? (and if not..could she get rid of it?) What would Wes even think- what would he want? Did he even want kids? Sure he was good (great, wonderful) with Sunny, but..that was different. Sunny wasn't his...

Hearing rustling outside her window Liza quickly stepped away from the mirror, wearing one of Wes' t-shirts that was so baggy on her nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and as he opened the window and his head popped in she gave him a little smile- one that didn't quite meet her eyes, "Hey."

#para #para: wes #c: wes #tw: pregnancy #tw: abortion mention #kinda #just to be safe #i couldnt resist the gif

18 notes · View notes

dancingisdangerouss · 2 years

Note

What if reader could get pragnent? Would the grabber go with it if it's too late to get an abortion or would he be brutal and push her down the stairs or sth like that?

WARNING: Discussion of pregnancy and abortions below.

While he certainly isn’t in any way, shape, or form interested in being a father or taking on that line of responsibility, I think he would be too afraid of inadvertently killing Reader by doing something.

He definitely doesn’t want a child, though—not because he’s self-aware enough to know he’d be a shitty parent, but because he’s self-centered and, absurd as it sounds, would probably be upset by the baby monopolizing all of Reader’s time.

Also, he may be a sicko, but I don’t think he’d want to harm a pregnant woman or even a fetus at the later stages of development. I say this because I’ve noticed a peculiar trend when it comes to mental health patients:

When one of my colleagues was pregnant, all the patients kept their distance and never threatened her, even the ones who were just barely aware of where they were. They were all very careful around her.

This is just an observation and nothing scientifically proven by any means, of course—and there are plenty of deranged people out there who wouldn’t think twice about hurting a pregnant woman.

But from what I’ve seen, I’ve decided I’m headcanoning that Al may be a sadistic killer, but even he has limits (for instance, I can’t really picture him killing an infant or toddler), and it’s almost like there’s some instinctive trait or hormonal something-or-other that makes people more gentle with pregnant women.

Again, nothing proven or probably even researched, and my theory likely has no weight to it. But for this, I’m going to say Al has his own personal fucked-up moral code (like how someone can think it’s okay to kill a child but not an elderly person?) and wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman or very young child.

As such, I think Al would try to get an abortion for her if it’s early on, but not late. Otherwise, he would probably leave the baby outside an adoption agency or something where someone would be sure to find it, so he can avoid being caught.

#tw: abortion mention #tw: abortion #tw: pregnancy #asks #anon #penny for your thots #idk man I’ve just noticed that with patients #no clue if it means anything or not #the grabber x reader

33 notes · View notes

aikoiya · 2 years

Text

DP - PT AU - The Deal 6

The thing about Vlad & Dina's relationship is that while it isn't strictly the healthiest it could be, that's partially because Vlad, himself, isn't the stablest person around.

He's actually kinda both yandere & simp in a way, but the thing about Dina is that she's got all the tools necessary to handle both & keep him in check which is just one part of the reason why she's his soulmate.

Like, if there is a power imbalance here, it's actually in favor of Dina rather than Vlad because she's got him emotionally by the balls & isn't afraid to twist them to get him to listen to her both figuratively & literally.

Now, she also isn't about to abuse this power she has over him because she really does have some very deep feelings for him & really likes him, but she will manipulate him if she believes it's for either his or their children's own good. She tends to use her position to get him to do things like get therapy & whatnot.

Now, that isn't to say that she's making him jump through hoops to be with her. She's not that high maintenance. She genuinely likes him so she tries to make it easier for him. It's more that she has certain boundaries, both personal & moral, that she's not okay with crossing. Like, she encourages him to make his own boundaries too & she tries hard to follow them when he informs her of them.

Thing is, if Vlad ever realized that she manipulates him, he'd likely just be impressed & turned on. That's part of why they work so well together.

I feel like as they grow more comfortable with each other & express their feelings for one another, they'll slowly develop a more equal relationship & a deeper understanding. Particularly, a dynamic not dissimilar to Gomez & Morticia Addams. Like, sure they bicker, but they also understand that just because they fight, the love isn't gone.

Not in personalities, but in how they interact with each other. This is all years down the line, of course.

---

When Plasmius phased through the wall, Dina noticed that he was soaked to the bone.

She would've laughed & teased him if she hadn't gotten a good look at his hair. It fell down over his shoulders in wet curtains, but damn it looked so much better with it framing his face!

This is how he looks:

(Can't remember the artist, but here it is.)

She stared at him wide-eyed before blinking & going to get him a towel.

When she handed one to the man, he smiled at her disarmingly.

Vlad: "Thank you, Dearest. I apologize for my unfortunate appearance, but your brother caught me on my way here & we got into a fight. He knocked me into Cauldron Lake."

He looked at the towel & smirked.

Vlad: "A sweet gesture, but you know that all I need to do is become intangible & the water falls right through, yes?"

Dina: "S-sorry, forgot."

He just smiled at her flustered remark, catching on that she evidently enjoyed his wet look. Leaning in with a flirtatious lilt, his eyes hooded.

Vlad: "Unless you prefer me like this? All wet & dripping with condensation, my Darling?"

Dina stuttered, before catching herself. Her cheeks dying themselves green with embarrassment.

Dina: "I, well. I suppose so. I mean..."

She turned away, her cheeks puffed up with irritation which only further charmed the drenched man.

Dina: "I just think your hair looks better like this. It's always up in that really stupid looking devil horn look, so it's just nice seeing it down & framing your face like this."

Vlad paused, not having expected that response.

He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling a lock so he could look at it curiously.

Plasmius could feel his cheeks heating up. He was suddenly feeling strangely self-conscious.

Vlad: "Do you... really think that?"

Dina: "I... think it makes you look very handsome..."

Biting his lip, he thought for a moment.

Vlad: "I suppose it has been a while since I changed my look. And you are the fashionista here, aren't you? I'll just stop applying hair gel in the mornings."

Dina: "You don't have to..."

Vlad: "Maybe not, but you've definitely proven that you have a better eye for these things than I & besides, it'll give me a bit more time to enjoy my mornings."

With that, he leaned down to plant a kiss upon her lips.

Vlad: "Night after next then?"

Breathless, Dina smiled.

Dina: "Yeah, see you at 7."

---

Maddie found an empty bottle of prenatal vitamins in the trash.

She had been taking the trash out to the dumpster & worrying about the poor woman who Jack had told her about. The one that'd been unfortunate enough to not only be ensnared by Vlad's dirty dealings, but also end up with the same mark as him. While Maddie was very thankful that the creep wasn't fixated on her anymore, it didn't stop her from feeling guilty that she'd managed to escape his gaze while this other woman obviously hadn't. Some part of her wondered who the poor woman was.

As she was about to close the lid, she glanced in & saw a picture of a baby on the side of a bottle.

Curious & worried, the ectologist dug it out & examined it, finding it to be exactly what she was afraid of.

It couldn't have been Jazz's, even though she'd mentioned having a new boyfriend in Gotham (Todd or something), because it'd been a week since Christmas (which only Jazz had spent with them; Maddie couldn't understand why the twins had left them alone for Christmas) & she left the day after; they'd taken out the trash since then, so it could only be Dina's bottle. Unless Sam had thrown them away during one of her visits, but she'd been under the impression that though they'd confessed & begun dating, Danny & Sam's relationship hadn't progressed that far.

Thinking about it, Maddie had noticed that Dina was eating more... & she'd been unusually sick lately...

---

Maddie called a family meeting. As she waited for everyone to get there, she paced the room.

Eventually, everyone was there &, immediately, Maddie turned on Dina.

Maddie: "Are you pregnant?"

Dina froze, while Danny & their dad turned to her, the eldest with shock & disbelief. She knew it would happen eventually. Why hadn't she headed it off at the pass?

Taking a deep, steadying breath.

Dina: "Yes, I am."

Her father's reaction was rather extreme. It almost looked like he'd been shot & was currently reeling from blood loss.

Jack: "Some punk knocked my baby girl up!? I'll kill 'em!!"

Her mother had a grim expression on her face.

Maddie: "For how long?"

Dina: "A couple months after I turned 18."

Maddie: "So, a little more than 3 months. Why didn't you tell us?"

Jack: "Forget that! What I wanna know is who was the irresponsible little brat that did this to my Dina-Baby!"

Dina: "Dad, it was an accident. I was taking the pill & he was using protection too. The condom just broke a few times is all."

Danny grumbled under his breath.

Danny: "You shouldn't have been having sex with him in the first place..."

Maddie squinted her eyes at how her son said 'with him.' Did he know who it was?

Jack: "I'm with Danno!"

Maddie: "Yes, it was a very bad decision to become intimate at all when you hadn't even gotten your acceptance letters back."

Dina: "Oh, like you 2 never had sex before getting married."

Maddie sputtered while Jack just grimaced.

Maddie: "T-that's different. We were in college & living on our own. Besides, this is about you, not us."

Dina: "Oh, so what's good for the goose, the gander needn't apply?"

Jack: "She's got a point Mads. I know I didn't abstain in high school & I wasn't as careful as she was. Who we should really be blaming is that punk what did this to her!"

Dina: "OmG, Dad! Stop! We're both equally responsible!"

Maddie: "Maybe, it'd be best if you got rid of it."

Dina was too stunned to say anything at first, though her dad seemed to sum up her reaction pretty well on his own.

Jack: "Maddie!"

Maddie: "What?! It's not like it'll feel any pain. It's little more than a clump of cells at this point. It won't hurt. And then, she can just go to college like it never happened!"

Dina's face turned red with anger.

Dina: "Mom, you know how I feel about that."

Maddie: "Oh, honestly sweetie! Enough with that spiritualist drivel. There's no proof!"

Dina: "Yeah, well that's pretty funny coming from a ghost hunter!"

Dina: "Sweetheart, ghosts have a scientific explanation. There's no proof that souls exist."

Dina: "What about soul marks? Scientists still haven't figured them out no matter what they do."

Maddie scoffed.

Maddie: "Of course, you bring that up. It's always the marks with non-secularists. Science has proven that they're a biological means of refining humanity's DNA sequence & getting out all the gunk."

Dina: "But that's not all it is! Science has also discovered that matches are undeniably connected in an intangible, unquantifiable way!"

Maddie: "Unquantifiable for now! You're father & I have made progress. Machines running on ectoplasm react faintly to the presence of these marks in a way that suggests a connection. Especially when 2 individuals bearing the same mark are near each other."

Dina: "And what do soul marks have in common with ghosts? Hm? Perhaps souls?!"

Maddie scowled.

Maddie: "Ghosts aren't people! They are the manifestations of post-human consciousness & don't think, let alone feel!"

Dina: "But they have soul marks too!"

Maddie: "A trick! One you've fallen for!"

Dina: "And what if it's not?? What if all they do is prove what I've been saying this whole time!? What if ghosts are sentient & sapient & you've been experimenting on thinking, feeling people?!"

Maddie: "This is getting us nowhere! We've gone far off topic."

Dina: "Don't have an answer, do you?!"

Maddie: "I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH DIANA SELENA FENTON-WALKER!! END OF DISCUSSION!!"

Dina growled low in her chest. She closed her eyes tight, knowing that they were glowing green with anger & frustration. She didn't open them back up until she felt they were back to normal.

Dina: "Fine..." She ground out.

Dina: "But even if you were right, which you're NOT, I still wouldn't get an abortion & that's the end of THAT discussion."

Maddie sighed heavily.

Maddie: "And why's that?"

Dina: "Because I would kill myself, if I did & then he showed up as a ghost just for you 2 to pull him apart like a frog in biology class..."

Jack & Danny recoiled, but Maddie was firm.

Maddie: "It wouldn't be-"

Dina: "I DON'T CARE! I'd see him & I'd know it was him & it'd absolutely crush me knowing what you'd do to him! I'm sorry that I can't completely disassociate my memories of people from their ghosts! I just can't!"

Maddie: "It's not that hard..."

Dina: "Then you do it! You've never been confronted by a ghost you knew in life, so let's see how you react! What if Grandpa Walker showed up as a ghost? What if me or Danny were ghosts?? Would you be able to rip US apart so easily!?"

Jack & Maddie looked at each other in shock, while Danny perked up, glancing at them in subdued interest.

Jack blinked wide-eyed with a deep, uncharacteristic frown on his face, but Maddie just grit her teeth & clenched her fists.

Maddie: "We would."

Jack snapped to look at her in disbelief & horror, mouth agape.

Maddie: "Even if it turned out souls were real & ghosts kept their souls after death. I'd still end you. I wouldn't be able to study the ghost because of our relationship when you were alive, but I'd end your existence all-the-same because I wouldn't be able to stand to see you so... utterly twisted."

Dina & Danny's expressions both showed brief despair then resignation.

Dina: "I suppose that I have nothing more to say then..."

Maddie: "Oh no! This isn't over! We still haven't figured out what we're going to do about this situation!"

Dina: "No, you haven't figured out what you're gonna do. I'm keeping him."

Maddie: "Dina!"

Dina: "I refuse to give him up! He's mine & I already love him!"

Maddie: "But you're not ready! A child is too big a responsibility!"

Dina: "Oh, as if you'd know anything about that!"

Insult broke out across the Fenton matriarch's face as if she's been physically slapped.

Maddie: "Excuse me??"

Dina: "You heard me! You ever wonder why Jazz & I are so independent & mature? We had to be because you were always too busy in the lab when you should've been up here with us!"

Maddie: "Wha-! How dare-! Our work is very important & you should know that by now!"

Dina: "More important than us, your children?! No! I'm tired of pretending that we're okay! I'm tired of pretending that you didn't just dump us on Jazz for days on end! She's the one I think of when we talk about our parents, not YOU!"

There was a long, wounded silence as the Fenton parents processed the statement. Jack in guilt & Maddie in anger. Both deeply hurt by her declaration.

Through gritted teeth, Maddie ground out, "Can you at least tell us about the father?"

Dina: "I'm definitely not about to tell you who it is."

Jack: "What? Why!? Is he threatening you!? I'll kill him!!"

Dina: "No, he's not! And that, right there, is exactly why I won't tell any of you! I can't trust you not to try & kill the poor guy! I don't need to have to bail your sorry butts outta jail!"

Maddie: "Oh, Sweetie. We won't kill him. We'll just make him wish he was dead!"

Dina: "Oh, like that's much better! Until I think that I can trust you not to threaten bodily harm on him, I won't say a word. And if you try to make me get rid of my baby again, I'm leaving & never coming back!"

With that, Dina walked out of the house with her mother's retort of "Where would you even go?!" Not even dignifying the woman with an answer, she went to complain to Vlad. He was sypathetic at least.

---

A couple nights after discovering her daughter was pregnant (mother & daughter hadn't spoken to each other since), Maddie noticed her daughter leaving the house all dressed to impress, so she had the Fenton Ghost Drone follow her.

She was going to figure out what bastard did this to her baby if it killed her.

It followed her through the snow when Dina met up with a familiar looking man with shoulder-length brown hair in a halfup do & hazel eyes behind circular retro sunglasses, a green turtleneck beneath the brown, fur-linned winter coat that she'd seen her daughter designing & the green & yellow Packers scarf that she'd knitted while spending time with her father. He looked like a hipster. Maybe a college student from Amity Community College.

Maddie didn't know where she'd seen him before, but she was sure that she had.

Had he been stalking Dina?!

Maddie grimaced, watching the man's eyes light up at seeing her daughter, a (creepy!) soft & fond smile on his face. He embraced the girl when she got close, resting his cheek on top of her head & closing his eyes for a moment, seeming to just breathe her in.

He then pulled back, lifting her chin up with his fingers & gave the teen a peck on the lips, sliding his hand up her jaw to tuck a hair behind her ear.

When they started talking, Maddie focused the drone's audio equipment on them.

Creep: "Hello, ангел мой." (Translates to 'my angel.' Pronounced 'angel moy.')

So, Russian or at least took Russian.

He had an Upper Midwestern accent, so he was from, at least, the general vacinity.

Maddie scowled, thinking his voice was slimy in a familiar way that sent shivers down her spine. That he was obviously conning her daughter & wondered how such a smart & level-headed girl couldn't see that.

Dina: "Hey, Hotshot. You ready for our date?"

Creep: "Absolutely. I'll show you the way."

His vernacular was casual & laid back. The mother of 3 hated it instantly.

The man gave the teen his elbow, which she took, & they were off.

Maddie had the drone follow them from a safe distance.

The drone followed them to a little Korean barbeque place. She watched on suspiciously as the man pulled out a chair for her daughter, then pushed it back in before going for his own seat like a gentleman (she laughed sarcastically at that), the pair ate & chatted, laughing merrily at some joke or another.

Her stomach twisted at how happy they looked together. Was she wrong? What if they really were in love?

Shaking her head, Maddie reaffirmed that even if they were, Dina was still too young for such a serious commitment. They should've waited.

---

After they left the diner, Maddie followed them as they walked.

She listened in as they talked, but it was mostly discussions of how their days went & different baking techniques/old recipes that should still be in use now.

Then, their conversation turned to Dina's college. Apparently, the man had rented a living space in Chicago so that they could be together when she went off to college. It was even worse than she thoughts!

Dina: "V-Dave. You know you don't have to do that..."

The newly dubbed 'Dave' just chuckled.

Dave: "But I want to. Let's be honest, Love. You've been my only real friend practically since we met 4 years ago."

That set off alarm bells in Maddie's head. They've known each other that long & she'd never noticed?

If they'd been friends for so long, did that mean he'd been at Casper High with Jazz?

Dave: "I know you want to wait before discussing marriage, but please, at least let me take care of you. You're an independant woman, I know, but I want to help you with the baby however I can. I just want the best for you both."

Maddie growled.

He suddenly became flustered, his cheeks tinting pink.

Dave: "And, to be completely honest with you, I don't know how I'd handle being without you for so long. Я не знаю, смогу ли я жить без тебя." (Pronounced 'YA ne znayu, smogu li ya zhitʹ bez te-BYA,' & translates to 'I don't know if I could live without you anymore.')

Dina: "B-but... what about... you know... your job?"

The way her daughter said 'job' raised all sorts of alarm bells inside Maddie's head.

Dave: "Everything would be fine. There's a branch in Chicago & it's not like they'll argue with me, now will they?"

So, did that mean he was in the work force? And fairly high up in his company if he can afford to just move ship without anyone caring.

Dave: "As for my 'other' job. Well, it's not like Amity's all that far. Not for us anyway."

The way he said 'job' was also was not comforting. Also, what did he mean by 'us?'

Dave then took her chin in his hand & turned her face to look him in the eye. His expression was soft, strangely genuine, & full of a melting warmth. To Maddie, it had an edge of something that spoke of a deepseated devotion boardering on a very familiar obsessiveness & it made her uncomfortable to see it directed towards her daughter.

Dave: "Я тебя обожаю, мой славный котёнок." (Pronounced 'ya tye-BYA aba-ZHA-yu, MOY SLAV-neey ka-TYO-nak,' it means 'I adore you, my sweet kitten.')

The date seemed to reach its end, the teen getting up on her tiptoes to plant a sweet kiss on her beau's lips, to which he responded by leaning down & wrapping her in his arms, then deepening it. Dina then encircled his neck with her arms, hand digging into the hair at the back of his head. This seemed to pull a happy hum from his throat.

Ending the kiss, they then nuzzled each other oddly by Maddie's opinion.

After that, they separated with a 'goodbye.' The man's eyes following the girl as she left with a loving expression on his face before leaving himself.

Maddie needed to end this 'relationship.'

Phantom Twins AU Masterlist

#dp #danny phantom #fem!danny phantom #fem!danny fenton #original female character #vlad masters #vlad plasmius #endangered species #pompous pep #phantom twins au #the deal au #diana 'dina' fenton #diana 'dina' phantom #tw: abortion mention

8 notes · View notes

thewrenxharlow · 2 months

Note

lily : how does your muse view their mother ?

"I'd need to have actually have a mother to have a view point of how she was. At the most I had a birth-giver, and even then, she coulda done me a favor and just gotten rid of me before giving said birth to me. Would've saved us both a shitload of trouble. I only met her once and that was more than enough for me. She has to live with her choices and, well, I guess I do too."

#meme day #tw: abortion mention #sorta. just in case

0 notes

rinhaler · 6 months

Text

You Deserve Roses and You Know This

��˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors. ✧. ┊ ex!Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: reposting from my old account! Warnings: 18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, dacryphilia, pregnancy, abortion ideation, miscarriage, depression, adultery, breeding, creampie ♡, smoking mention. Words: 4.1k

“Is it true? Did talking to Megumi make you cry today?” Toji asks you, peeling down your bra strap before sensually decorating your exposed shoulder in delicate kisses.

He didn’t notice, but as soon as the question left his tongue you had instinctively become dead behind the eyes. It was true. You’re an adult, and yet you were brought to tears by his seven-year-old son. It wasn’t that he said anything callous, quite the opposite, really. Earlier that day, Megumi had been sitting playing in your front room. You were babysitting, as you often did, while Toji and his wife were working. Your eyes hold shut as you remember his wife; his beautiful and kind wife while he continues littering your skin in adoration. You shouldn’t be doing this, but you can’t stop now.

Green sparkling eyes looked up from innocent children’s toys to pose you a question – “Why do you hate me?” he asked, genuinely. It was like a knife through your chest. You didn’t hate him. You could never hate him, Toji being partly responsible for his existence is enough reason to adore him with everything you have.

You just wish he was yours.

Toji is patient when he gets his time with you. It’s rare, after all, and he wants to make the most of it. Two large palms settle on your breasts, the straps are down but your bra is still firmly in place. He massages your flesh over the material, lips traversing the expanse of your body until he reaches your pulse point. He licks, slowly, hot eager breath contrasting your own temperature and making you shudder. This, he notices, pulling your back even closer into his chest. His left hand slowly yet forcefully moves up and down your adjacent arm, desperate to dispel the goosebumps that have formed on your skin. He suckles and licks on your ear lobe before nibbling it softly between his teeth. His breathing changes, his mouth level with your ear, he’s going to speak.

“Baby… what were you talking about?” he sighs, an even more chill inducing breath warms the shell of your ear. He pecks against it, the sound of tactile lips puckering slithers directly through your ear canal. You moan, unintentionally, and back further into your temporary lover. He holds your breasts once more; stabilising you, if only a little, as you begin to grind your core against his crotch.

“I- I can’t, Toji—”

Your attention is fixated on him as his hand encases half of your face and turns you to face him. But you both find yourselves closing your eyes as he places a kiss against your lips. It’s slow, yet heated, and you feel him smile into you when he hears you moan into his mouth pathetically. You’re well and truly at his mercy, though you aren’t embarrassed. How else should one act and behave around the love of their life?

“You can and you will,” he explains, biting your lip as he parts from the kiss. A singular string of saliva keeps you connected for a second before snapping. “you can’t have secrets with my son darlin’, you just can’t. So tell me, what were you talkin’ to him about?”

You gulp, nerves overcoming you like never before. Your eyes flutter shut yet again as he diverts his attention from your eyes to your body. The skin behind your ear is the next subject of his eroticism. And yet, he has the gall to chastise you for enjoying it. With one more repetition of tell me you realise you can’t stall anymore. Out of options. And you can’t lie.

“R-Rocco, ah—!”

“How does Megumi know about Rocco?”

“I- I told… him…”

He hikes your leg up so that you’re sitting on his lap like a little girl. The kissing has stopped and the touches have halted. Toji isn’t patient except with you. He’s never looked as furious as he does now, with you. Brows scrunched and the glimmer in his eye you love so much has ceased to exist. His scar looks as raw as it did the day he got it. A non-existent armour made you believe he wouldn’t mind you talking to his son about such a sensitive subject matter, but apparently it is not to be discussed under any terms.

“Don’t you ever talk to my son about Rocco again. D’ya hear me? Never.” he forbids, his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly when he spots that you can’t prevent the way your lip begins to wobble. “If you really wanna talk about Rocco, talk to me. Yeah? No one else, just me.”

“Y-You don’t let me—” you start, your thought isn’t completed. Thoughts are rattled from your mind as he begins manoeuvring you so that your back is flat against the mattress, jade green eyes boring into your very soul as he hovers above you. His arms dip behind your back, finally unhooking your bra and baring your chest to him.

Beautiful, he thinks.

“I’m letting you now.” he explains, his head resting on your chest, looking up with intent behind his salacious stare. He latches onto one of your protruding nipples, taking it between his cracked lips. He sucks and pecks, and it’s almost lazy, but you know it’s with purpose. It’s driving you wild, you can’t help but wriggle helplessly beneath him, desperate to gain some relief on your eager heat.

He pins one of your legs down, stopping you from continuing your movements. It’s torture, you think, he’s expecting you to broach such a heavy subject matter while you’re so desperate for his touch.

“C’mon sweetheart… talk about Rocco,” he commands. You can’t. Tears stream down your face as you do your best to experience Toji whilst thinking back to the past. Your mind spins and you feel as if you can’t breathe. He releases your nipple with an accentuated pop as he smirks up at you. “I remember how scared you were to tell me… when you realised—”

“Fuck, Toji.” you croon, a mischievous finger slithered down your abdomen down the length of your clothed slit. Feather light touches against your clit and your entrance forced your hips to buck upwards carelessly. He snickered, repeating the action again and again. “I- I remember.” you stutter.

You’d only been dating for thirteen weeks. He was yours before his wife entered the fray, before you had to battle for his time and attention. Nerves got the better of you, the thought of admitting to yourself what you already knew made you nauseous beyond any description.

Your period was late.

It was something you didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone inform Toji of. It had been so little time since you began dating. You thought he’d leave you, run away and never look back. So, there was only one thing for it. An abortion. You couldn’t keep the baby if you wanted to keep him. It was your only option. You were stressed, manic, exhausted. But at least you’d have Toji – that was all you cared about.

“You were so scared to tell me, weren’t ya?” he asks, hooking a finger beneath your panties before settling it in your inner thigh crease. He plunges a finger inside of you, chuckling when more obscenities fly from your mouth as your head falls backwards into the plush pillows. One of your hand grips the sheets below, whilst your other almost tears his hair from the roots. So little attention, and yet such a big reaction from you. “Thought so little of me, baby, ‘m sorry.” he finishes, adding a second finger to your scorching heat. It's almost as if the air in your lungs has frozen, weighing you down. It’s preventing you from speaking. From breathing. Even thinking.

It was confirmed when you finally took the plunge and decided to do a pregnancy test. Big, black, bold text told you the answer and where your future was heading. Motherhood, for certain. But you knew you had to take care of it before Toji became suspicious. It was something you didn’t even want him to know you were going through. Everything with him was perfect, it wasn’t something you wanted to ruin over something you believed could be easily taken care of.

So… why were you crying every day?

That’s what he asked you. You hadn’t been yourself, and that is what gave you away. Jokes he told that you found funny didn’t seem so funny anymore. The way he traced his fingers up and down your arms made you defensive, and paranoid. You didn’t want him to touch you in case he somehow sensed it in his fingertips. If he felt you he might just know that you’re carrying his child and he’ll skip out on you.

It all came to a head one day after you finished throwing up. You couldn’t keep your cries silent. Your body was betraying you, you felt hurt in ways you never had before and it was becoming impossible to keep it all to yourself. You didn’t dare tell a soul for fear of Toji finding out through the grapevine. But enough was enough, he thought.

“You need to tell me what’s going on with you.” he told you, but you shook your head.

“I can’t Toji, please. Trust me, I can’t.” you explained, “It’s fine… I will ruin everything if I tell you so… so I’m… I’m taking care of it—”

“Cut that shit out right now. This has been going on a fuckin’ while and I can’t stand to see you like this,” he responded, moving his head as you moved yours. You were trying to avoid his piercing glare, but he wouldn’t let you. He couldn’t. He’d never of forgiven himself if you carried on like that, unable to share your woes, and did something you might regret. “Trust me, I’m beggin’ you to trust me, baby.”

He forced you to sit down, and face him. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs and kept all of his attention focused on you as he watched you calm yourself down. Tear filled breaths that clogged your lungs fizzled into shaky exhales the longer you held eye contact with Toji. He wasn’t going anywhere, for now. If you explain you can tell him your plans. Maybe he’d support you if he knew you planned on freeing you both of the burden of parenthood, you hoped.

“I… I’m, uh—”

“Yeah? C’mon sweetheart, doin’ so good f’me just use your words.” he spoke, doing his best to tempt the truth out of you. With one final swallow of terror and closing your eyes for a moment to think, you finally found the courage to confess.

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out quickly. “but it’s okay I’m gonna get rid of it. Okay?” you fumbled out words quicker than you could think. You just wanted him to know that there was no way you’d be keeping the baby. He was what you needed, not a kid. “Please, I promise I’m going to get rid of it, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. D-Don’t leave me, p-please. You are more important to me than a baby, I just want you. I—”

Your rambling was stifled as Toji pressed a finger to your lips. He kissed you on your forehead, a warm smile filled his features. Instantly, you were relived. It meant that your idea of an abortion was enough to convince him to stand by you. There was no reason to worry yourself sick like that, he was going to support you through it all.

“You don’t have to get rid of our baby,” he smiled.

“W-What?”

“In fact, I don’t want you to do that at all.” he warmly spoke, pulling your body into his and forcing his head between the valley of your breasts. It wasn’t sexual, it was just a comfort to him to hear your heartbeat. “Maybe… we could start our own little family, huh?”

Tears roll down your eyes as you reminisce on it all whilst Toji adds his flat tongue to the equation of his fingers in your cunt. It’s all so romantic and wonderful and intense. You don’t think you’ve ever been happier than you were in that moment. The moment you knew he really would stand by you through anything at all. And despite your assumption, he was excited to become a father. He was excited to have a baby with you.

“I love you, Toji.” you speak, softly, unsure if it was even loud enough for him to hear. Oh, but he did. He doesn’t want to stop lapping at your swollen clit, knowing it’s exactly where you need the most attention right now. But a particularly harsh suckle and pop of the bead is a silent acknowledgement, he promises he heard you. “Gonna… gonna cum. T-Toji—”

“No no, baby, not yet,” he instructs. He removes his fingers from your hole, delicately rubbing them over your sensitive bundle of nerves instead. It’s slow and tormenting, but he doesn’t want you to cum like this. “I was so happy when we found out we were havin’ a little boy, y’know? So damn happy princess.”

You remember it well. Your emotions were running high and you had the ability to blame your hormones when you discovered the gender of your unborn child. But you couldn’t quite believe it when you looked over to see Toji’s eyes, eyes that are normally so strict and stern, glossy with tears on his lash line. He couldn’t help it, he claimed.

“Look what we made.” he pointed, the scan revealing perfectly what a handsome little boy you’d made together.

And later that day, he took you shopping. Money was no object. That is what you both decided. Neither of you could believe how much stuff you ended up buying. Paints for the nursery. A crib. Other necessary pieces of furniture. Toys. Clothes. Everything you thought you needed, you bought. You were both first time parents and completely clueless. So, if a shop assistant recommended it, you bought it.

You spent so much time together painting the walls of your baby’s new room. Toji was very irritable when you kept asking what to do and how to help. The paint wasn't going on as nicely as he hoped and his temper flared, it was extremely evident in his face. What do you do when you see an angry bear? Poke it with a stick. Or in this case, flick paint from the end of your brush at him. When he noticed what you had done and he turned to face you, you swear you could read murder on his mind. But when you began to laugh, he couldn’t help the laugh that snuck out of him.

There was more paint on the two of you than on the walls by the end of it.

“That was the day we decided to call him Rocco…” Toji mused.

He began to kiss up towards your naval and back to your neck. Your fingers laced through his hair as you begged for him to deliver the same salvation he was offering your body to your lips as well. He complied, slow patience had dwindled as your tongues found each other. It was wet, heated, sloppy. You felt yourself drooling out of the corners of your mouth, Toji Fushiguro is just so intoxicating. A drug you can’t quit though you know you should.

He’s all you have.

He doesn’t break the kiss from you, though his hand eventually meets his heavy, wanting cock. He guides it to your desperate entrance, lining it up perfectly before slotting himself inside. His hips roll, bullying his cock into you inch by agonising inch until your lip begins to quiver. He hushes you, though.

You both know you want it.

“I’m s-so – fuck – I’m so sorry, baby. I am so—”

“P-Please, pleaaaase stop.” you beg. He doesn’t. You are the one who wanted to talk about it. So desperate to talk about it that you went to a seven-year-old boy to discuss it. His son. “N-No more, I can’t—”

“It was the worst day of my life, too, I promise you that darlin’.” he mumbles in your ear. The thrum of his words rushes straight to your cunt, and you clench so hard around his cock you think he might have to stay there forever.

You don’t think you’ve ever been as embarrassed as you were when you came home from the hospital. Your pristine white maxi dress, stained in bright red blood by your crotch. The atmosphere in your house was foul. Two solemn adults who had lost everything in a few menial hours. Hollowness filled you, not a single emotion ran through you until you heard Toji a few rooms away. You sat on the sofa, turned on the TV and pretended it wasn’t happening. But you could hear Toji loud and clear.

He was in the nursery.

That was the first and only time you’ve ever heard him cry. A loud thud vibrated through you and you knew he had collapsed to the ground. Melancholy overtook him as his new reality was setting in. Your little boy was no more. No fault of your own, apparently, everyone made sure to repeat that enough times for it to really take root in the depths of your brain.

It didn’t help at all.

You couldn’t bring yourself to check on Toji. That would mean going into Rocco’s room and facing the truth yourself. So, you waited. You waited hours for him to finally come out. He came to see you, resting on the balls of his feet in front of the sofa where you sat. Fresh tears replaced old ones as he noticed the drying blood on your dress.

“H-How about a bath, huh?” he suggested.

You don’t remember saying yes, or nodding. But somehow, you found yourself naked and submerged in a bubble bath. It was like you had left your own body as he did his best to clean you. You could hear him sniffling. He was desperate to talk about it with you, all he wanted was for you to help each other cope. But you couldn’t. So, he did his best to lock it away too.

It was as if you had returned to yourself when Toji took a break from washing your hair to wipe more tears from his eyes. A soft mumbling of ‘Oh, Godddddd…’ trailed from his lips as he tried to pull himself together. And finally, your lip began to jut out helplessly. Your eyes scrunched, and the tears began to flow. You were staring at your bloody dress, and listening to him try and hold it together. It was all equating to too much.

It was real, now.

“Our… baby—” you cut yourself off with a wail, Toji pulled you into his hold and sobbed into your sodden locks.

He hissed with each thrust inside of your gummy walls. A perfect home for him in the form of your bodies fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces. He doesn’t feel like this with his wife, only you. He couldn’t stay away, he’d never be able to do that.

He loves you.

Fuck, he loves you.

“’m not good enough… I’ve never been—”

“Stop it, baby. You are enough, I promise.” he tells you through gritted teeth. It’s getting harder and harder to have a normal conversation while he is fucking you so intimately. Every ounce of his love poured into every devastating thrust.

He loves you.

“Wasn’t good enough for you, or our- our baby.”

“Stop it darlin’. Please stop. I- I need—”

“I can’t live like this-!” you cry out. His hand covers your mouth entirely as his mind tries to process what he needs to say to you. Christ. What does he need to say to you? Everything and nothing all at once. He thinks he should start with I love you. But is he prepared to open that can of worms?

“I need… you. I’m gonna leave her, yeah? My wife. Let’s… try again. Me and you, hah? I won’t pull out this time, let me… let me—”

“Tojiiiii—”

“You’re good enough, baby, more than good enough. I’ll cum inside and we can try again. I need to, I need to.”

Your tears stream endlessly but silently. Is this really what you want? Do you want him to break up his family to satiate your unfulfilled desires? It doesn’t matter. You find yourself nodding anyway. Perhaps it will dull the ache inside of you. It could be the plaster to cover to puncture wound in your aching heart; it’s been bleeding since that day.

Toes begin to curl as he continuously batters the spongy centre that spells your eventual undoing with his fat cock head. He isn’t doing much better. Nobody and nothing will compare to the rush and the high he feels as when your precious cunt swallows him again and again.

“Gonna- cum, with me. Please, baby. Cum with me now.” Toji pants.

Your lips are on his again, both of you focusing on your impending climaxes. The way you break away to moan momentarily before smothering each other in kisses yet again is such a lewd, romantic, high that you can’t get enough of. He pounds you perfectly and it’s an arrangement neither of you have been able to let go of after all of these years.

“Oh God, I’m cumming- cumming baby…” he alerts you. You’re practically choking on your own orgasm as it swims through you. Nails dig into his back as you try and hold onto the feeling for as long as you can. He fills you with his warmth, heaving like a desperate animal while he breeds you to the brim.

What have you done?

Time wasn’t a healer for either of you. The days got harder and harder and you couldn’t even stomach looking at him. Each time you looked at him, you saw what could have been. What should have been. The father of your son. The man who was going to teach him everything he knew and help your little boy cause all kinds of mischief for you.

The man you thought could keep you both safe.

That’s how he found himself married to a woman he would never love as much as he loved you. There was a drift, it was aggressive and painful, yet necessary. But you found yourself brought back together a few years after Megumi was born. You were practically an aunt to his son. A second mother, even. A sordid little secret.

You don’t hate Megumi, you just wish he was yours.

The pair of you got changed after he had his post fuck cigarette, knowing you couldn’t risk dallying for fear of being caught. You didn’t doubt for a minute that if you called him in a few weeks and told him you were carrying his child, he’d kidnap Megumi and run away with you to start your new family life together. And you would love that, you’d love him. You’d love it all.

But, it isn’t right. Is it?

He grabs his car keys, readying himself to drive you home to be alone with your dark thoughts. Before you step outside, though, something plagues your mind. A question that you simply must know the answer to. He looks scared, honestly. The way you’re facing him and eyeing him up as the same words twist and circle through your mind. A heavy hand rests on your waist, the other on your cheek. He’s scared, it’s obvious, but he’s still encouraging you to talk.

“Do you ever think about Rocco?” you ask him, genuinely curious. Toji has never felt the need to bring him up, this is the first you’ve discussed him in years. It kills you to think that Toji has managed to shut out thoughts of his unborn son while you are plagued with them each and every waking moment of your pointless life.

And there it is. That warm, kind smile, that is the Toji you know and love.

“All of the time.”

Four simple words have you breaking down like you did that day in the bathtub. Your head is pulled into his chest as he holds you close and tightly, allowing you to bawl every emotion onto him. You can’t control yourself and you don’t want to stop. It’s fine, he thinks. It’s clear that you need it. At least you know something today that you didn’t know yesterday. One piece of information that might take some of the burden off your own shoulders.

At least you know you aren’t alone.

this is a repost from my old account

691 notes · View notes

call-me-maggie13 · 1 year

Text

My late 40s to early 50s boss just asked what’s wrong with 18-25 year olds these days

And as a 21 year old all I could think was

The world has been on fire since we were born and we’ve been told the adults are putting it out and now we’re old enough to realize they’ve been pouring kerosene on the flames instead of water.

Before my first birthday, 9/11 happened and the world wouldn’t let us forget it. When I was 6 years old, on September 11th, my teacher sat us down in front of a tv and showed us footage of 9/11 and then told us we weren’t allowed to cry. She said that it was real and those were real people jumping from the building because jumping was a faster death than burning.

When I was 7 years old, the economy collapsed and my family went from lower middle class to poverty, we went from healthy home cooked meals every night to mac and cheese and beans for weeks in a row. We started skipping holidays because mom and dad couldn’t keep the lights on and buy us new toys. We started wearing clothes and shoes until they fell apart.

When I was 11 years old, Sandy Hook was attacked by a grown man with a gun and 26 children and teachers were brutally murdered. My teachers never looked at us the same and I haven’t felt safe in a school since. After that, once a month we would have active shooter drills and we were taught to fight and cause as much damage as possible if an armed man entered our classroom because it gave other classes a few extra seconds to escape, it gave our siblings a few extra breaths of safety. We were taught to cover ourselves in other students blood and play dead if we weren’t hit, we were taught that we weren’t safe and we wouldn’t be safe as long as we were in school.

When I was 15 years old, my high school art teacher locked us in the classroom and told us if we heard gunshots we should line the desks up lengthwise so that they reached the other wall because that would be harder to break through than a barricade. She told us that she knew about the threats and she wouldn’t judge any of us that wanted to leave. She told us to get our siblings and stay in the buildings as long as possible, to duck in between the cars so we couldn’t be seen until we got to ours. She told us about the trail behind the auto shop that was lined with trees and led off campus. I got my brother and his friends and we left, we spent the day sitting on the floor in my living room waiting for a phone call that the people we left behind were dying.

Two weeks later, one of my friends dragged me out of a football game and forced me to go home with him. He grabbed my brothers and my best friend and forced the six of us into a two seater car before he would tell us anything. His mom worked for the school board and had told him the police found an active bomb under the bleachers in the student section, and they weren’t informing anyone because they didn’t want to incite panic.

When I was 16 years old, ISIS set off a bomb at a pop concert in Britain and killed 22 people, injuring at least 100 more. The next day at school, our teachers went over how to stay safe if we ever experienced something like that. They told us the most important thing to remember was to not remove any shrapnel because it could be keeping us from bleeding out, they said it was more important to get yourself out safely before you worried about anyone else.

When I was 18 years old, my teachers stopped teaching and put the news up on the projector and we watched as the Notre-Dame burned. The boy I had sat next to since second grade spent the entire day trying to call his sister who was studying abroad in Paris, I watched this kid I had never even seen frown fall apart in English because she wouldn’t pick up the phone. We didn’t know it at the time, but she was okay.

Six months later, my history teacher put the news on the projector again for another fire. This time, we watched as an entire continent burned for three months. We watched their sky turned orange from the smoke and their wildlife drowned in pools because they were trying to escape the heat.

When I was 19 years old, the whole world shut down because of a global pandemic. I didn’t meet a single new person for eight months, despite the fact that I had just moved across the country. I watched as people didn’t wear masks and spread it to everyone around them, I was so scared when I went back to my room every night because my roommate was immunocompromised and I was terrified I would give her Covid and kill her.

Just two months later, I watched a video of a black man being murdered by police officers. I watched the world around me explode after George Floyd’s death, people destroying businesses and police stations. I watched some of my friends realize police officers didn’t exist to keep them safe, they existed to keep the people in power in power. I learned that some of the people I had grown up with would rather watch a black man die than admit that maybe, maybe, the system was broken.

When I was 20 years old, I went to the mall with a friend to buy a birthday present and I was pulled to the ground by a twelve-year-old girl after gunshots went off in the mall. I held this child’s hands as she cried for two hours until we were evacuated by police, and then I waited with her outside and helped her look for her mom. I gave her my phone to call her mom and I watched as she called the number over and over and never got a reply. I waited with her until a police officer took her to the station to try to find out more information about the girl’s mom, I hugged this girl I had never seen before and I wished her the best. I never found out what happened to her or her mom, it keeps me up at night sometimes worrying that this little girl was orphaned.

When I was 21 years old, I started working at a daycare and exactly a week later, Uvalde happened and I found myself crying because my students are the same age those kids were. When they came in after school the next day, one of them had asked me if I had heard about Uvalde and I told her I had, I asked her if she was scared of going to school because of it. Her reply broke my heart. “We practice for it every week so that when it happens to us, we know what to do. I’m just worried that the shooter is going to start in my baby sister’s classroom and not mine.” I listened as other students with younger siblings agreed with her, one of them saying “I would take fifty bullets, if I had to to keep my little brother safe.”

Early this year, I watched Russia launched bombs into Ukraine, blowing up churches and schools and hospitals and apartment buildings. I watched as the estimated death count rose from the hundreds to the thousands to the tens of thousands. I watched men send their wives and children to bordering countries for refuge while they stayed behind to fight, knowing they would probably never see each other again.

Just four months ago, I watched as my right to medical privacy got taken away. I watched my old roommate fall apart because she was denied the right to have her dead fetus removed from her body for almost two days, I worried every time I looked away from her that the next time I saw her would be in a casket. I watched as the women around me realized the military-grade weapons that had torn children in classrooms apart were protected by the government but our bodies weren’t.

There is nothing “wrong” with my generation, we’ve experienced all these things as children and were expected to respond with patriotism for a country that continuously sacrificed their children for the “right” to military-grade weapons, that took away my freedom of choice. We are tired, we were told the world was a wonderful place then shown, at every step, how the world was a place of destruction and pain. And we are angry. We are angry because no one but us seems to be trying to fix anything. And we are scared. We are scared because our children, our nieces and nephews, our cousins and our friends children are growing up in a world that won’t protect them.

5K notes · View notes