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earthstellar · 6 months

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More Thoughts on Prowl in Earthspark

I think it would be fun if Prowl has a little bit of a tough time integrating with the Terran Team, which I talked about previously in another post

Like, if it starts out rough, understandable-- And then the "lesson" for the intended audience (kids) can be something along the lines of learning how to get along with others that may be different from yourself, how to integrate into a different culture by trying to make friends and being open to learning, how to meet people halfway when you might be personally hesitant, etc.

But I have some more thoughts...

Real World Concerns: ACAB Still Applies

Keeping in mind that Prowl's a cop and there are some real world implications of that which are even more highlighted as the Maltos are a non-white family who live in the USA, I can understand the concerns I've seen some people have about bringing a "tough cop" type of character into a show that has heavy emphasis on diversity and reflecting that diversity fairly realistically.

I've been wrongfully detained back when I was a teenager and was taken across a state border then had to sleep in a cell overnight thanks to the NYPD myself as a trans person, which happened only four weeks after my black partner at the time was harassed by a police officer when a cop straight up just walked into my dad's house with no warrant because apparently a black person and a trans person gardening together is "suspicious behaviour".

My dad's house is in Pennsylvania, which is where Earthspark takes place. Me and my loved ones have been harassed by cops that are quite literally the actual cops you'd see in Earthspark, in Witwicky. Same police department/region in Pennsylvania, given their proximity to actual Pennsylvanian locations in the show.

So I know these fears well and I understand-- Nobody has a good experience with the American police. Every interaction is terrifying, and those of us in any minority group are far more likely to have experiences like this having never committed any crime or wrongdoing at all. Seeing any cop, even a fictional one, can trigger some bad memories or prior trauma for a lot of us, and it might be hard for them to work around.

I'm thinking that's part of why they've changed his alt-mode, from what we can tell from the toy photos.

Earthspark Handles Real World Issues Fairly Well: Writing with Sensitivity

At the same time, the themes of the show are fundamentally family, friends, learning, growing, and teamwork, with some emphasis on developing emotional intelligence and social/cultural awareness.

It's important to remember that Prowl is a Cybertronian cop who took a cop car alt-mode back in the G1 days because it was simply what fit his own role best and made for the most effective cover while on Earth-- He may not be working with local human police forces, but if he is, we'll see how the show handles that.

I think it's notable that they've changed up Prowl's alt-mode design here, despite having shown him in his police vehicle alt-mode in the G1 flashback sequence. You don't see "POLICE" written across his doorwings, these days. They're not selling him as a "cop car toy" anymore, which I think most of us can agree is a good thing.

I think Prowl absolutely has a place in Earthspark, and it'll be interesting to see how they utilise his character-- For all we know, it'll be a totally unique take on the character unlike any specific prior iteration of him, which would also be interesting!

But I do think that they know they have to be careful with introducing a cop character. They've handled subjects like xenophobia in Earthspark very tactfully in a way that suits the intended audience of children, and hopefully they continue to use the same tact when interpreting Prowl's character for this same audience, given that he's a cop and there are implications to cop characters in general that are going to lead a lot of people to be a little less forgiving and a little more suspicious of him.

More Conjecture/Thinking Out Loud, Since All We Have is a Photo of a Toy At This Point

That having been said, almost no story can happen without a hero's journey in some shape or form, and it would be interesting to see Prowl have some initial difficulty dealing with the Terrans and humans in general (or something similar that might cause some level of conflict) to be resolved as time goes on.

It would be interesting if the show touches on Prowl being a cop and how American kids realistically react to that.

I was always taught to never speak to a cop and how to do so very carefully if I ever absolutely had to etc. when I was a kid, and I'm sure the Maltos have had that same conversation with their children. It's a safety issue; Unfortunately, most American kids get "the cop talk" pretty early.

Maybe Prowl shows up and Robby immediately grabs Mo to get her behind him and he tells his Terran siblings to "let him do the talking", since he's the oldest one and a little more aware of the risk that police officers can present. Since Mo is usually outgoing, and she might be more quiet here because she would understand the potential risk whenever cops are involved, the Terrans would take the hint and be wary of Prowl.

Or perhaps Prowl is introduced as an "enforcer" by Optimus, and when the kids ask what that means, Optimus translates it as "police officer", which might be what causes Robby and Mo to react a little negatively/suspiciously to Prowl. So it wouldn't be as immediate of a reaction, but once they find out he's a cop, they react appropriately-- With caution.

Which might serve to alienate him a bit, as he wouldn't understand why they were just outgoing and friendly and now they're suddenly not-- From Prowl's point of view, he might not fully understand their reaction.

If he'd been working on trying to investigate the bot fighting rings etc., then he'd be aware of the general public's xenophobia towards Cybertronians and how that can manifest as real violence, and might think the kids were being biased against him. Which might be worsened by the fact that to him, as far as he knows, they evidently don't like enforcers specifically-- Which may even lead him to overthink it, as he is technically designed to do in most continuities, and he might assume their anxiety around him comes from some kind of criminal history on their part.

This could be handled partially comedically, as the audience knows the kids are good and haven't done anything wrong (and this would also introduce Prowl's capabilities as an investigative officer while framing him as a "silly adult bewildered by kids just being kids" for the younger viewers)-- -But it needs to be treated respectfully and with reasonable seriousness as well.

This type of assumed guilt is often what leads to wrongful arrest, miscarriage of justice, and serious abuse from actual police. There is a real world body count for this exact kind of assumption, and these assumptions are often based in racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

And this is a kid's show, so I don't think they'll go too deep-- But I do think they'll address the "cop in the room" in some kind of way.

There could be some serious misunderstandings that go both ways, as the kids might then interpret any upset from Prowl as being inherently hostile.

It would take work to get them to trust him, and Prowl would need to come to understand why being an enforcer in this context is something that registers as a threat to the Maltos and by proxy the Terrans as well-- Who haven't had good experiences with authority figures either, given the whole GHOST situation.

And given that he might not start out too enthused about the situation altogether (we don't know how he might be coping with being forced to live on Earth), it might be interesting if they take this approach (or a similar one) to introducing Prowl.

Keeping in mind this is a show for kids, and you don't want kids to implicitly trust cops. In America especially, that's just not a safe lesson to teach.

So it would be hard for them to pull something like this off, in a way that both 1) solidifies that cops can't be safely trusted and also 2) Prowl is good not because he's a cop, but because his genuine interests are to protect and serve in his own way, and it's not just some kind of fake creed that he doesn't follow like every other cop.

But like I said, you can't teach kids that cops are good. So it'll be interesting to see how they handle his role as "enforcer".

He might be misguided sometimes, or he might need some fine-tuning, but Prowl shouldn't be directly malicious or intentionally mean to the kids. Maybe he's accidentally rude, or doesn't understand how he comes across to others (especially humans/the Terrans). Maybe he's having a hard time being on Earth, and it shows in his behaviour or demeanour.

But he can learn, and adapt as best he can over time. The show is about learning and growing with each other.

I Don't Think He'll Dislike the Kids Too Much: Teaching Time with Prowl

It'll be interesting to see how Prowl gets along with the kids, but I do think he eventually will, at least to some degree.

I don't think Prowl is a child-hater. I think he might need time to acclimate and socialise a little more effectively and understand a little more. And the kids might need the same, when it comes to Prowl.

I can't see him as being mean to them, not once he realises the Terrans are essentially sparklings and the human kids develop and grow on a totally different scale. We don't know what interactions Prowl might have with humans in general, or how experienced he is with younglings of any kind.

There might be a learning process, or Prowl might even take up helping to tutor the kids a bit-- He could help teach them investigative techniques, or logical problem solving, or how to evaluate complex situations (like calculating battle outcomes and assessing threats in the field-- a safety lesson as much as anything else). Things along those lines.

We've already seen the kids learn from various adults, so why not Prowl too?

I can see him wanting to protect them and do what he can to help them, but he might not be a super-involved parent-type, and that's totally fine.

He would likely make for a strict but effective teacher, using his skills of observation to notice when the kids need some extra assistance or would benefit from a different approach.

He might also struggle to teach at first; Maybe he attempts to treat it like an enforcer academy, which the kids might not respond well to. Bumblebee could provide some input to help Prowl adjust his approach, as he has the most experience with training them so far.

He Might Not Be a Cop at All

Maybe he's not an enforcer at all anymore, in this continuity.

Maybe he's struggling to find an identity for himself after realising the enforcement system on Cybertron was corrupt (as Megatron in Earthspark has given us some hints that the background setup to the war might be similar to IDW 1 in some regards), and after finding Earth's police are no better, he's at a loss for how to make himself useful.

He could possibly be working as a kind of private investigator, carrying out missions assigned to him by Optimus. He doesn't wear the GHOST badge, so it doesn't seem like he's been working with them somewhere this whole time.

Part of any irritation from him might be, essentially, an identity crisis. What does he do now, and how does he do it, with almost no resources and very few Cybertronians left to collaborate with? Does he even want to collaborate with anyone at all, at this point?

He might be more of a solo actor in Earthspark, off doing his own thing. With or without missions assigned from Optimus.

But he does still wear the Autobrand, which is interesting if this is the case.

More Disability Representation: Prowl is Essentially Neurodivergent With a Syncope Disorder

He might not be too good at socialising, but this shouldn't be taken as a sign of being a "mean cop"-- Prowl is canonically neurodivergent in some continuities (owing to his unique tactical/statistical processing, he is also prone to crashes), and any social problems he's depicted with are at least in part a result of his thought processes and perception of things being fundamentally different.

It would be interesting if they brought this aspect of his character back for this iteration of Prowl; Maybe he sees the Terrans for the first time and his processor struggles to understand what's going on and what they are at first, and it might trigger a crash.

Of course, the kids would react like how most kids do; Sort of panicked and worried that it's their fault somehow. Prowl could provide some situations that would be a good opportunity to teach kids a little more about disability and provide further representation for any neurodivergent kids watching the show, which would be great! And a "crash" could be comparable to anything from some types of seizures to syncope disorders to narcolepsy etc.-- Any health condition where fainting or collapse might occur.

We rarely see syncope etc. disorders portrayed in media, let alone kid shows, so it would be great to see in Earthspark as an opportunity for both inclusion for disabled audiences and education on disability for non-disabled audiences.

It would be interesting if a "crash" were portrayed somewhat realistically, no immediate recovery, maybe some dizziness, lingering fuel tank upset, maybe he even sustains some damage from falling over. It might take him a bit to fully reboot. He might regularly need to be a little more careful, to avoid processor loops or logic system issues that could lead to a crash.

Maybe he has a crash at a critical moment, and is out of commission for a battle or situation where he could have been helpful. If the kids are lukewarm towards him at this point, maybe seeing him laid out on a berth still recovering after they return from the fight would encourage them to step up and reassure him that he's not any less capable-- They would understand.

They've likely seen their mother struggle now and then on days where the phantom limb nerve pain is too much for her to go on that hike they had planned, or days where the prosthetic just isn't the vibe so she goes without and gets around the house a little differently on those days, or maybe even days where they see Dot looking at her prosthetic with a little sigh, and that's just how it is. Not every day is a feeling good day, some days the prosthetic just isn't wanted, some days the prosthetic is harder to put on than others. Disability is variable, and how people deal with disability fluctuates.

The kids would be good about understanding that Prowl has "those kind of days" too.

The show's not about Prowl-- There is an ensemble cast and plot/storylines to progress. But it would be a nice little scene if they want to do a one-off bit about this, that could also serve to show that Prowl, as hard-ass as he might come across, does actually have some vulnerabilities.

It could be the thing that encourages the kids to at least try to work with him, if they have any initial hesitancy-- Especially following their experiences with Robbie's illness previously.

If the kids might think Prowl's demeanour is a little off-putting because he's not as outwardly emotive, might be more literal than others, etc., maybe one of the other adult bots could help explain to them that Prowl's processor just works differently, and that he struggles with being social. The kids would likely be understanding of this, and it would be a nice parallel to teaching abled kids how to interact with autistic peers, while also making Prowl relatable to autistic kids watching the show.

(This would also provide a potential opportunity for a medic character to be introduced... I'm just saying. We all want Ratchet to show up, lmao.)

Earthspark is good about disability representation so far, and it would be nice to see that it's not just humans who can be disabled.

----

Anyway, yes, there's a lot of potential for Prowl in Earthspark, but it will have to be handled with tact, which I think the writers have proven themselves to be pretty capable of so far.

So, we'll see! We have no information right now aside from the toy photos, but the hype is real, and it will be interesting to see how they bring Prowl into the show and what, exactly, he'll be doing.

#tfe prowl #earthspark spoilers #long post #just thinkin'#tw police mention #tw police violence #tagging this stuff just in case #maccadams #maccadam #disability in media

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mywingsareonwheels · 6 months

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I do love the fact that I'm among quite a lot of fans of British police procedural shows and books (and adjacent genres) who share some or all of the following opinions:-

the police in real life are obviously appalling

so these characters, even when they're fucking up massively and behaving reprehensibly, are still generally unrealistically well-intentioned, compassionate, and competent (in some stories, some of them grapple with colleagues who are more true-to-life, and a lot of drama hangs in that)

all of which is good because otherwise I would not enjoy this genre

but it's so very important to remember that difference because otherwise we end up being far too lenient with real-life police

anyway, I love these characters and because they are decent (if flawed) human beings the job is badly traumatising them, so I would really like them outta there

retirement and/or different jobs for all please so they can thrive and be their best selves!

also hugs which in some cases they keep refusing to give each other which is very annoying

hooray for fanfic which can provide the required different careers and hugs etc.. <3

(This post is, predictably, brought to you by my deep if sometimes frustrated love for E Morse, Fred Thursday, Peter Jakes, Reginald Bright, Shirley Trewlove, Jim Strange, Jimmy Perez, Alison McIntosh, Tommy Linley, Barbara Havers, Robbie Lewis, Harry Nelson, L. Petronius Longus, Shahara Hasan, Sam Vimes, Angua von Uberwald, etc. etc. etc.. (Also Charles Parker and Carrot Ironfoundersson and Hugh Beringar although they are all improbably well-adjusted as well as improbably decent...) Between them they fuck up a lot, oh good Gods (*glowers with affectionate exasperation at Fred and Tommy and Petro especially*), but Even So.)

#itv endeavour #bbc shetland #itv inspector morse #ruth galloway mysteries #falco mysteries #netflix bodies #gnu terry pratchett #discworld #lord peter wimsey #brother cadfael mysteries #acab except (some) fictional ones #tw police mention

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onlytiktoks · 2 months

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#tiktok #cat #tw police mention #tw police

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ah-the-reblog-blog · 11 months

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I think it’s interesting that people tend to characterize pre-distortion Michael as a person who was simply a very sweet, generally clueless/awkward/silly person-

I don’t mean “it’s interesting” as in “I hate this and you’re wrong”, I genuinely love people’s characterizations of him, their interpretations are often really friggin cute, I mean that I think it’s interesting how people have interpreted distortion-Michael’s comment on his pre-distortion “ignorance”- at least, that’s where I’m ASSUMING it’s coming from? Or maybe people just auto-blorbo’d him cause we don’t know much of anything besides the… honestly frustratingly small amount of information about him that we’ve got from the episodes- /lh

Pre-distortion Michael, to me, feels… definitely kind, well-intentioned, and socially awkward as heck — the kind of awkwardness that includes: mild-to-moderate stammering when asked questions in that tone that means “you did something wrong”, tries to make conversation and keeps trying to do so with different topics if one fails to actually stick, at least until he can’t think of anything else or feels like maybe he’s just actively being ignored, at which point he makes an excuse and an awkward “bye” and leaves to mull over and stress out about how awful that interaction was and how dumb he must have seemed — (wow sorry that was unexpectedly detailed) but also like the kind of person who would probably have been able to do pretty decently as an assistant and whatnot if anyone had actually bothered to let him know what was happening and how it worked.

Listen, there’s a reason he’d been sent on trips for the institute before, (not necessarily only for Gertrude, either, he’d gone on little expeditions for the institute in general), and hadn’t just been confined to a desk job where he was filing papers or something in the years before the final trip with Gertrude.

It’s reasonable to assume that he was, in fact, considered extremely capable, instead of seeming like some throwaway, “red-shirt”, bumbling “klutz”- I think he just saw himself that way. Think Edward Nygma in season one of Gotham, (minus the riddles, and less okay with blood).

Also, the distortion implies that when Michael’s friend, (Ryan Nolastnæm Fursumreason), died to the spiral or distortion, he was reacting to something that he could see and Michael couldn’t, and basically said that the whole experience never left him, probably influencing his studies very significantly because it had bothered him so much. It wasn’t necessarily just the fact that his friend had died in such an unnatural way that had haunted him. It was the thing Ryan saw, the thing Michael couldn’t see, that terrified him. Because it was out there, still. He could feel it, somewhere, somehow. In his head. Like it was waiting for the moment where it could sink its claws and teeth into him and pull… and rip… and break him in two, scattering the pieces of his mind like it had done to his friend’s.

It was going to hurt him, too, he knew it. And he had to be prepared. Perhaps to fight- or perhaps, more likely, to run away. To get out and be free, and not be chased after by it any more, or run far enough so that it could not reach him could not place him in that centre of the place it kept his friend in and

Head trauma.

He had been drunk and hit his head. That was the story that the police had told to Michael, and he half-believed them. He didn’t want to believe that the thing Ryan had seen was real. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been, because there wasn’t anything there to be real, there was nothing there-

No, it was alcohol. Mixed with whatever sort of thing had already broken his friend’s head.

He had been screaming…

No, he wanted to forget. Not to think about it, not to dwell on the thing further, he had an answer. And that… had to have been what had happened.

And he didn’t want to know what else it could have been.

#tw head trauma #tw implied hallucinations #tw hallucinations #tw police mention #holy shit this randomly sort of turned into one of those funky statements from season 5 what #uhhhhh #michael shelley #tma #tma spoilers #the Magnus archives fan works #the Magnus archives spoilers #the Magnus archives #gertrude robinson #the distortion #rambles #statement????????#I THINK THERE’S MORE I JUST HAVEN’T GOTTEN IT ALL YET AND I FELT LIKE IT WOULD BE A BIT MUCH #TO PUT INTO A SINGLE POST HJSHSHSHSHS #ENJOY I GUESS

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the-retro-corner · 1 year

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Updates

Hi everyone! I'm Harper, one of the new hosts of the Retro Corner.

I'd like to say I have some pretty major updates to share as an explaination as to why we suddenly vanished (This will be reblogged to all our blogs).

TWs for this post are small mentions of our abuse and police/CPS.

We are currently in the process of moving away from our abusive mother. We're no longer in her house, and awaiting our next birthday to legally move out. Police have been involved on account of us reporting her near the start of this month, and CPS are also getting involved, however we have no updates on it.

We are currently living with our partner, and feel much safer than before. We're still getting used to it all. :) Have a swell day, folks

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deadlyflan · 2 years

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PROMPT FIC: Just One Bed

@infuriatedleprechaun asked:

🩹 tending each others wounds 🍦 lovers to enemies 🛏 1 bed

BayVerse Raphael x Reader

Rating: PG-13 + Gender: Neutral + TW: Blood, Swearing, Police

“Are you sure there’s only one bed?”

Ikea packaging blocked front door to your brand new apartment in a fire hazard heap of cardboard and styrofoam. White laminate plywood lay in scattered stacks around the room.

It was your brand new studio apartment. That’s what the listing had called it, anyways. More like a closet apartment. Raph had barely fit through the only window and there was no way he was going to fit into your bathroom. The good news was that the kitchen, the office, the living room, and your bedroom could hold him! Because they were all one room.

“Yesss… Um. One FRIHETEN.”

He gave you a flat stare. “And what is that?" He pointed around at the various piles. "Which is that?…”

“The FRIHETEN is my new sleeper sofa bed! And it’s that pile in the middle.” You wiggled past him in your shortest short shorts with a wink.

He promised to help you put your apartment together tonight on the understanding that you two would immediately break in every surface. So far, there didn’t appear to be many surfaces. Pretty bare in here. Still, your energy was high and he got to watch you bent over Swedish mystery furniture. He kicked off his shoes and lightened his belt. He was in for the long haul.

“Oh! Here are the VINLIDEN!” Your tank top had slipped down and was that a nip-slip? He reached excited hands towards you, ready to steady you with a romantic hand-on-the-ass. You handed him a bag of sofa feet instead.

He squinted at the four wooden cubes, then held the bag up higher to read the package.

WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!

“GEEZU—“ Raph jerked his arm down out of the ceiling fan. It swayed back and forth, making the lights dance with it.

“No no, I’m the one putting together the GEZZU… GEEHZZU? JEHGUZU—? Whatever they called the folding desk,” you teased. You waved one of a dozen allen wrenches towards another stack of alphabetized particle board. You watched him with worried eyes. “You okay up there, big fella?”

“Yeah, yeah. Stupid thing.” Rubbing his arm and sparing a death glare for the ceiling fan, Raph ducked down and waddled forwards around a third and fourth heap. “So then, what’re these? Why’d you pull everything out at once?”

“I got excited.” Such a cute little shrug! Your tank top was barely hanging on! “And ambitious, since I’ve got New York’s handsomest helper tonight.”

Another wink! Ha! You were gonna kill him. “But that’s two TERJE and a BOAXEL.” You were gonna kill him with Swedish furniture.

“I’ll say ambitious. You worked all day, you wanna put together this here entire EU, and still expect to have juice for the two of us?” His raised brow demonstrated his thoughts on the likelihood of that. Raph would still help! He was a turtle of his word. But if this whole night was an 8 hour teasing session? Woof.

Donnie had offered to pitch in, and looking at all this, another two hands would have been nice. But Raph had indicated that this would be naked furniture assembly, and Don’d backed off. The naked part might still happen, but Raph might have screwed himself. Go figure.

Oh well. No way two turtles and furniture would have fit inside this freaking lunchbox you were renting. Raph lifted the edge of the FRIHETEN sofa bed thing and snatched out the instructions. He took a healthy step back, making room to work. Raph’s shell and sai collided with the fridge.

CRRRRACK!

You sat up sharply from your JEHGUHU(?) desk assembly. “Raph. What was that?”

Raphael held very still. “Um. Your fridge?”

“My fridge?” You stood up and picked your way through the furniture field. “What makes a fridge go ‘CRACK?’” Why had you opened this stuff all at once? What foolish thing to—“WHOA!!” Your heel caught the edge of a stack of wood and the plank went sliding! “Oh SHI—“

SMACKCRUNCH!!

You flailed and fell face first into Raphael’s wall of a bicep. The smack was your dignity. The crunch was your nose. You reeled backwards, clutching your face. Eyes streaming, you stumbled and CREEEEAKKRUNCH!

Raph pulled his shell out of the front of the fridge!

He lunged to catch you, huge feet coming down on the bones of the FRIHETEN. He held you tight to his chest, bent over you, heart hammering. You couldn’t see a thing between your tears and Raph’s plastron, but somewhere a high-pitched WHEEEEEEEEEEZE buzzed in your ears. It blended with a CRREEEEAAAK—

CRASH!! RATTLE!! SHAKKLE!! CRUNCH!! PLINK! PLINK! PLINK!

The neighbor banged on the wall.

WHAMP! WHAMP! WHAMP!

“Knock it OFF over there!!!”

Raph still hadn’t moved. In the silence, smaller things shifted with a TINK TINK THUD. The weird WHEEEEEZE hadn’t stopped either. You could taste blood. Nose blood. Great.

“BDaph?” You sounded ridiculous now. “BDaphael?” You wiggled a little, but the big guy wasn’t moving. “Wus dat dhe fbdridge?” You’d never heard a fridge full of the next two weeks’ groceries fall over before, but if you had to put a soundboard together… it would sound a lot like that.

“WWHHHHEEEEEZZZzzzzzyes.” Raphael gasped an inhale for the first time since his lunge. He breathed in huge heaving gulps.

You struggled your way free, one hand still over your gushing nose bleed. “BDraph?! What’s wdrongk?” Your foot slid off a bloody piece of TERJE and your ankle rolled like a cinnabon. “YIKE!” You’re down on your ass with hard SLAP of short-short cheeks on laminated board. Nose blood staining your shirt, your carpet, your FRIHETEN.

Wait… the FRIHETEN. That wasn’t nose blood coming out from under Raph’s foot. Oh. Oh no.

“BDraph?… Fuckg. BDraph?! Is your— is the— through your—?“

Breathlessly, “Yeeeahhh. Yeah. It is.” He looked down, and it was a mess down there. What was his blood, what was yours? “Look. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Look. I’m. I’m gonna stand up and get. Get my shell cell.”

“Uhb Huhb.” You were okay with this plan so far. Your ankle was starting to swell. You were hanging on to calm with your fingernails. “O-Okay.”

“I’m gonna.” He moved and froze. That hurt like a sunovabitch! “FUCKING SHIT!! GODDAMIT!!”

The neighbor banged the wall again.

WHAMP! WHAMP! WHAMP!

“I’ll call the fuckin’ cops! See if I don’t!”

If Raphael weren’t an enormous mutated turtle, you could tell the neighbor to call for help, but the best you could do is a tearful, “DSORRY!!” Hopefully he won’t call the cops on you anyways.

Raphael, face shifting colors with the effort of staying silent, shifted his weight with a wince, reached back to the pile of his stuff, and snagged his shell cell. With relief, he hit speed dial. He stood up straight and caught the blade of the ceiling fan to the side of his face.

WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!

“FUCKING FUCK!”

“…um…. Hello? This is Mikey speaking. It’s a good thing you called, cause we’re all out of fucks right now, Mr. Too-Good-For-Weekly-MarioKart—“

“Mikey! For—Knock it off! Put Donnie on the phone.”

“Oh, you wanna talk to who? Leo? Sure thing, Raph.”

“DO NOT DO THIS TO ME—“

+++++++ EPILOGUE +++++++

Leonardo and Michelangelo came to collect and bandage Raph, who now loathes your apartment, your neighbor, and all things Swedish. There will be no booty calls at this address. It is anathema. The words Raph used were ‘fucking cursed.’

The neighbor did call the cops, but by then, April was there to take you to the ER for X-rays. She smoothed things over: you had a terrible furniture accident that was witnessed by your boyfriend via video call--that's why there was a male voice yelling. He called your local friend (her) and now you were going to the ER. Go home, policeman. Get bent, neighbor.

Donatello cleaned and assembled as much of your furniture as he could. The BOAXEL and one TERJE survived. The rest… not so much. However, clever turtle that he was, he staged some photos to explain the fridge damage and documented that the fridge wasn’t properly anchored to the wall per New York City’s rental laws. Your landlord owes you big money and a new fridge.

Michelangelo circled back before dawn and cleaned up the food mess leaking out of the fridge. He left a folding cot and some TV trays. He even set them up for you.

April loaded some grocery money on a gift card for you. You can pay her back later if you want.

But you cannot wear those short shorts around Raph anymore. He gets flashbacks.

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