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squishmallow36 · 9 months

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It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter five

Summary: The entire spectrum of human emotions. Feel free to complain if you do not experience an emotion while reading this. Also. This is the last chapter so it's a great time to binge read all of them.

Word count: 3091

Tw: major character death, Alvar's associated illness, minor canonical character death, alcohol mention, drugs mention, swearing

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum

Bonus Garvar tags because you haven't told me to stop: @tw-5 @camelspit

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Previous chapter in case you missed it :)

Garwin spends every spare minute he can searching, searching, searching for the intersection of five rivers. And he has a lot of spare minutes.

Alvar takes a lot of naps.

The hope of finding it dwindles as time goes on and Alvar keeps declining. It gets to the point that sometimes Garwin is afraid to leave him for a moment to track down a new lead.

Soon, Alvar is unable to leave Candleshade, then his bed. His crackling breathing is sometimes the only difference between sleeping and worse--but thinking about that outcome doesn’t do anything to help the situation.

Ruy knocks on the doorframe to one of the many studies in Candleshade, entering without permission and sinking into a plush chair across from Garwin.

Garwin tries to smile at him. It probably doesn’t work.

Ruy’s eyes are rimmed with red, which does pair nicely with the chair. He smiles just as painfully back at Garwin.

“Doesn’t his highness need a chaperone?”

“I needed to talk to you.” Ruy pauses, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “I know you’re determined to find your five rivers, but, Garwin, it’s been weeks. If you were going to find it, you would have by now. I don’t want you losing your mind over this.”

Garwin puts his book down and smooshes himself into the chair next to Ruy, wrapping an arm around him and burying his face in Ruy’s hair.

Hot tears prickle at the back of Garwin’s eyes. The futility of all of this has been going around in his head for a while and Ruy just put it perfectly into words. “I know. But what else can I do? I don’t want to just watch him waste away if there’s a way I can make it stop.”

“I don’t know.” Ruy takes his free hand and ruffles Garwin’s hair.

“I have one final theory. It’s absolutely batshit but if I don’t try it, then I’m gonna blame myself forever.”

“This better not turn into a cycle of ‘just one more thing’ and before you know it, it’s been a week and a half.”

“It won’t. I promise. I’m out of leads to possible leads after this.” Garwin pauses. “If I’m not back before bedtime for whatever reason, please continue the Chronicles of Timothman. If you don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Well, there will be a definite end if--nope. Deny the truth and it doesn’t exist.

Ruy nods solemnly. “Hail me if you need anything. I’ll be here until then. And by here I mean this chair specifically. I live here now.”

“It is a nice chair. Or maybe you’re a nice chair. Either way, I should get going before it gets dark because I’m an old man now and can’t be outside the house after sunset.”

“Congratulations. Antivampires will now have to be added to the lore of Timmothman.”

Garwin smiles amusedly. “That’ll be fun.” He kisses the top of Ruy’s head before he stands up, joints singing the song of his people for reasons unknown. It’s certainly not because they hurt, well at least more than the human body simply falling apart because it’s an evolutionary dumpster fire.

He ruffles Ruy’s hair before he heads down to find a starlight bottler device thingy. There has to be one somewhere around here, and sure enough, there’s one on the twenty-third floor.

Garwin drags it to a window because getting it to the elevator and outside would be more work and starts looking at the night sky for the unmapped stars.

‘Unmapped’ is a tad bit of a misnomer when they’re in the human Hyperion catalog.

With the other hand, he holds a star app up to the sky, lining up the shot. It might not be dark out, but the starlight bottler device thingy works anyway. This was discovered after Alvar just fucking forgot he had a project in the Universe and had to scrape it together during his lunch hour.

It makes sense because the sun is just a really close star so as long as the sensitivity is adjusted correctly, it still works.

And, sure enough, they’re perfectly lined up, just like the calendar in the Alden shit predicted. It might be a funny coincidence or maybe the metaphorical and literal stars are aligning because someone out there wants Alvar to live.

Garwin flips the switches and collects the light into a very not official bottle, glowing faintly green.

He holds it up to the light before checking that his Nexus is turned on, and steps through the beam of light.

The usual feathery sensation of light leaping is replaced by a feeling of being crushed under boulders. It’s also significantly darker than usual, a deep green haze covering the world that stays in the corners of his vision even after he’s spit out at the other end.

He blinks repeatedly, trying to clear it, and wouldn’t you know it? It’s Sophie fucking Foster and her doofy friends.

Garwin’s hands curl into fists at the sight of Fitz, nails digging crescents into his palms, but he has to stay focused. Unfocus is not an option here.

But god fucking damn that kid has taken enough from me.

Garwin tears his eyes away from them and takes in the scenery. Specifically the fact that there are several rivers--maybe even five--intersecting. It’s also weirdly quiet. Sophie and co. are talking and not bothering to be quiet but they’re completely silent.

Even nature itself is silent, no fluttering leaves making noises, no burbling river. It’s almost as though it’s holding its breath, and so is Garwin, waiting for Sophie and co. to notice him.

They have at least one responsible adult chaperone--Vespera--with them, and she does some weird shit to a tree. The world around Garwin flickers like he bonked a force field in the Hunger Games and he hides behind a convenient tree to avoid confrontation.

Some sort of illusion probably went down because now Sophie and co. are both able to be heard once again--albeit quieter than expected--and they can see the rivers. There’s also a nice pile of rocks they’ve chosen to comment about.

C’mon Sophie, you’ve fucking seen rocks before. Those exist in the human world, believe it or not.

Garwin waits and watches the drama as it goes down--from waddling into the rock pile to Gisela deciding to join the party to Vespera getting exploded to some dwarves kidnapping a goblin man to an almost stabbing of Godzilla.

Sophie must be friends with a psionipath because it certainly isn’t Ruy who takes down the forcefields around their little group as they swarm Godzilla.

Unfortunately, a gray-cloaked figure steps out from where they were living under a rock, proclaiming, “My name is Elysian, and I am the power source you are all here looking for.”

That’s just a tad bit pretentious, one part of his brain thinks.

The rest is simply screaming. Mostly screaming about Alvar. The solution is right fucking over there and kidnapping isn’t exactly the most war-crime-y of things Garwin has imagined.

He lets out a huff and Elysian, whose only distinguishing feature is a pair of big fucking naturals, turns to him.

Garwin leans against the tree, channeling Alvar’s sass as he smirks. “Nice to see you, Sophie. It’s been a while.”

She looks confused for just a second, her photographic memory failing her. Then she blinks and she’s even more confused, trying to reconcile her worlds colliding.

“Hey, Keefster. Nice to see you too. Done any fun running away from your problems recently?”

Keefe breaks eye contact, finding something interesting on the ground to study while trying to not smile.

“How do you know Keefe?” is all Sophie can manage.

“They were the younger sibling I never wanted back when they were in the Neverseen. Thanks again for making me put up with your hellspawn, Gissy.”

Gozdilla rolls her eyes. She’s so much like her son sometimes it’s hilarious. Of course, neither should not be told this because they both correctly believe that the other is insufferable.

“How the Exile do you two know each other then?” Keefe asks, and it’s difficult to tell if they’re asking Sophie or Garwin.

Sophie answers, “he was in my class back when I lived in San Diego. What I can’t figure out is why he’s here.”

“Well, it has a little something to do with Fitz and a little something to do with troll hives and a lot of something to do with a vague half-baked hope that Ely here can do something to solve all my life’s problems.”

Garwin hears Alvar’s voice in his mind saying You’re gonna beg that bitch to let you into Yale? He almost smiles.

“What did I do?” Fitz demands.

“Oh, do you not remember forcing Alvar into a cell in a troll hive? Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. Well, one of them. I’m also dating Ruy if you guys know him. That’s beside the point.”

Fitz stares at Keefe, locked in a telepathic conversation that’s almost certainly, “did you know this?” “Ye.” “What the fuck.” “What’s it to you?” “You didn’t think of telling me that my brother was dating…him?” “There were bigger issues at hand.”

Garwin smiles callously. “Thanks a whole metric fuckton, Fitzroy. Really appreciate it.” He turns to Elysian. “So, all-powerful power source. Can you fix him?”

“I--think so?” she replies, breasting boobily.

“Gonna need guarantees here sooner or later, babe.”

Sophie glances back and forth at her friends at Garwin’s absolute audacity to order Elysian around. Godzilla doesn’t seem too thrilled either. But they can go fuck themselves. They aren’t on anywhere near as tight of a timer as Garwin and he, frankly, would not fucking care even if they were.

Garwin shrugs off the tree and begins approaching Elysian, a leaping crystal to Candleshade in hand. It was a home crystal, once. But Candleshade hasn’t been a home in a long time.

Ely steps back, deep brown eyes glinting golden in the sunset from behind their hood. “I can’t leave this place.”

Garwin stops. Nope. Not when I’m this fucking close. “Can’t? Or won’t?”

Maybe taunting them isn’t the best idea considering he’s a pathetic human and they’re basically the gray equivalent of the genie from Aladdin. Plus tiddies.

But you know what? Let him get blown off the face of the Earth. If saving Alvar means sacrificing himself, then that’s what he’ll do.

Elysian looks back at her pile of rocks.

A wave of calm seriousness, almost desperation, washes over Garwin. “What do I have to do? I’ll give you anything. Just--,” his voice cracks, “--please.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe if you could bring him here--”

Garwin holds the leaping crystal up to the light before they get a chance to finish their sentence.

It simultaneously takes a year and a half and a quarter of a second to run all the way to their bedroom. Is the elevator broken? Is that why it’s taking so long? Hurry the fuck up you stupid piece of shit technology.

He disembarks, finding Ruy in the hallway and time stops.

Ruy is curled up against the closed door of their bedroom. His shoulders shake with violent sobs.

Garwin’s mind puts together the only answer. Alvar’s gone. Passed away. Dead. The euphemisms can’t disguise the absolute heart-wrenching realization that he’ll never see Alvar again.

His knees wobble under him, and he slides down to the floor next to Ruy, too numb to register the door casing digging into his back.

Ruy leans into his side, trembling.

They hold each other for stars know how long. The sun finishes setting and the stars glitter in the sky.

Ruy wipes his nose on Garwin’s sleeve, whispering in a voice rougher than gravel, “He’s--he’s gone.”

Ruy’s words send a spear into Garwin’s already aching heart. He pulls Ruy closer with his free arm. “Can I ask what happened?”

“When you left, he had been napping all afternoon. I don’t know if you heard him complaining about being cold earlier, but he was freezing when he woke up for dinner. He got up to go to the bathroom and made it back to the door frame. He couldn’t fucking breathe.” Ruy stops, a sob burying his face in Garwin’s shoulder. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“Oh, honey. I don’t think there was anything you could do. I’m just--I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“Don’t be sorry. You were trying to help. I still don’t fucking know what to do now. It was just so sudden. One minute he was fine, or as fine as he gets, and the next he was choking on his own lungs.”

Garwin shifts himself into a shaky standing position, helping Ruy get up. “Come on, I don’t want to get stuck on the floor.”

They’re probably going to eat ice cream and get drunk until reality no longer feels so claustrophobic.

There were also some references in the Alden shit to some elvin plants that sound like they’d be interesting to smoke.

Ruy and Garwin collapse into the objectively best couch three floors down and Ruy asks, “How did your expedition tonight go?”

Cue reality and memory smacking Garwin in the face. “I found the place. And the thing that would’ve theoretically saved him. If I had been just an hour earlier, we would be having a very, very different night tonight.”

Garwin lets Ruy process that because it’s a lot. Even when you’ve been raised conditioned for the impact of death because it is inevitable when you’re a human, it’s a lot.

“Do you still have Gisela’s contact information?”

“Yeah,” Ruy shifts to pull out his Imparter.

“May I borrow that for two minutes or less?”

Ruy nods, handing it over before swiping a tear off of Garwin’s cheek.

Garwin navigates to the unnecessarily hidden texting feature that is obscured by a horrible UI design and lets her know that she and Sophie can fight each other for custody over Elysian. Their services aren’t needed here anymore.

She doesn’t reply but it is left on read. Rude but to be expected.

Garwin gives it back and bundles Ruy into a boyfriend burrito with the blanket that usually lives on the back of the couch for exactly that reason.

“So now what?” Ruy whispers.

“Would you like a finale to the Chronicles of Timmothman?”

Ruy almost smiles, and Garwin takes that as a win. His chest still feels like it has a gaping hole but seeing that glint in Ruy’s eyes appeases it just a little bit.

“Let’s see. Where did we leave him? Ah, yes. Kidnapping children as revenge. Not at all because their parents were pieces of shit. Just because his home village no longer exists doesn’t mean there aren’t more fucked up villages nearby. In doing so, he’s incidentally adopted, like, a dozen children. Most of them aren’t older than five.”

“Oh, stars,” Ruy whispers, terror apparent in his voice.

“And all of them are ankle biters of chaos. Because they’re five. That’s just how that works. So now instead of having a nice, fulfilling life with his boyfriends, instead he gets to herd cats all day. “

“We should get a cat.”

“Put it on the list. Those parents were none too thrilled with the magic tricks of their disappearing children, and, eventually, when a child of one of the members of the higher class--I don’t know how village governments work. The guy’s like ten cents richer than everybody else so he’s basically their god aside from the Christianity they’ve inherited by virtue of being vaguely based on nineteenth century Germany.”

“Would their currency be measured in cents then?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care and I don’t want to find out. You get the fucking point. This guy’s kid gets kidnapped and well this can’t stand so I guess we’re going to have to venture into the evil bad forest to go find him. Side note: the town believes the kid simply wandered away because there can’t be any child stealing monsters in the forest. But it is also evil. Don’t ask.”

“Sounds perfectly accurate. Unreasonable, but accurate.”

“Yeah there’s a whole mob that goes into the forest. Nobody wants to deal with them and they don’t find jack shit. One guy in the mob wanders off never to be seen in the village again. He joins the Erlkönig polycule.”

“Honestly, goals.”

“I know, right. I feel like the new guy needs a name.” Garwin pauses, thinking.

“Is it too soon to name him Alvar?”

Garwin’s breath hitches. It’s probably way too soon but the themes. The narrative demands it. He almost starts crying again. “That’s perfect. Alvar lives a wonderful, luxurious life in der Erlkönig’s castle with Timmy and some other people that weren’t important enough to receive names. And they all lived happily ever after. It’s said, to this day, that if you go wandering long enough in the woods and you’re deemed worthy of finding them, eventually you’ll stumble upon der Erlkönig and his castle.”

“I’ve lived in the woods for many years. Checkmate.”

“Either they weren’t looking for new members or it was the fact you joined the Neverseen at fifteen and that would’ve been a fucked up relationship dynamic if you had found them.”

“I could’ve been an ankle biter.”

“You were already nine when you were banished. That’s four years too ancient. You’d be a menace for someone’s kneecaps by that point.”

“Yeah, I guess. Now I get to be a menace to society.”

Garwin smiles, pressing a kiss to Ruy’s forehead.

As he begins to drift off to sleep, the cold emptiness where Alvar is supposed to be curled against his other side is notably, eternally missing. And there’s no replacing him.

But wallowing isn’t going to solve this, so the only option is to move forward.

Ruy suddenly jolts awake. “Wait, I forgot to tell you.”

Garwin makes an interested noise.

“Alvar made me promise to let him tell you, but now…that isn’t exactly plausible. But, it turns out, with enough bribery and some too-long essays and definitely not forged recommendation letters, you’ve been accepted into Yale.”

It takes a whole second for Garwin to process this. It takes another whole second for him to stop mentally screaming and come up with a coherent response. Even if that response is kissing Ruy.

The future isn’t going to be easy, and it’s certainly unknown. But he’s got Ruy. And that’s what matters.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #garvar #garvarioli #kotlc garwin #garwin chang #kotlc alvar #alvar vacker #kotlc ruy #ruy ignis #IT'S OVER IT'S FINALLY OVER #I'M FREEEEEEEEEEE #tw caps in tags

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