Do you fancy a fine fabric? I think maybe I do.

1.02 → 1.03

i wanna talk about the dynamic between ed and lucius, because i feel like people tend to either completely brush it off as non-existent, or as lucius only having ed’s attention because lucius is close to stede, and i think that is a huge disservice, as i see the relationship between the two characters as incredibly nuanced. and this is gonna be really freaking long i’m so sorry.

it’s widely accepted that stede is the only person to ever be truly upfront with ed, but while i agree to some extent that stede is true to himself around ed, i think that lucius to a much greater degree is the absolutely only person who fully does not think thée great blackbeard is The Shit. before ed shows up on the revenge lucius does seem to think the mystery about this legend character is enticing, but the second he actually meets ed all of that washes away. he is the one person who continuously stands up to ed, and tells him to treat stede right. lucius sees very quickly (what stede himself doesn’t even see) that the chemistry between ed and stede is growing more romantic, and it is lucius’ instinct to be protective of this captain he didn’t even like about a week or two prior to ed showing up.  lucius even showed up on the island with the biggest bitch attitude to hand deliver a breakup box when ed left with calico jack.

and what i see is that ed respects that about lucius. stede actually did try to embellish his own persona in front of ed; trying to seem tougher than he is, trying to impress ed again and again - he might not have changed himself, but he did bend over backwards to make a good impression. but ed saw that lucius didn’t. there was never any doubt where lucius’ loyalty was, and it was with his own captain. and we see ed look to lucius when he is unsure about stede, because he knows the way to a dude’s heart is through his reluctant gay bestie.

then when ed returned from running away from the british navy, lucius is the only person ed opens up to. aside from stede, lucius is the only person ed is truly vulnerable with, and confides to directly. he invites lucius into his blanket fort, he tells lucius about this raw pain that he is feeling, even if he does try to thinly veil it as about someone else.

and this part is the most important to me; i think ed sees in lucius what he wishes he could be himself. lucius is openly gay, and very vocal about his gayness. he doesn’t take on the big responsible roles, because he truly does not want them. he is soft, and kind, and so gentle with people who are in a bad way. he doesn’t put a big thing into making people like him, and he is honest with people around him, and still finding the balance in how to be that in the way the situation requires. he can be mean and vicious, but only when people deserve it. in many ways, he is just like stede. he is also fiercely protective of the people he cares about, and he is definitely down to clown.

which brings me to the last episode. ed goes through this massive transformation of being broken and vulnerable, to having izzy’s words snap him back to his old alter ego of blackbeard. i’ve seen a lot of different reasons for how people sees the scene of ed pushing lucius overboard; that he just snapped, that it was to solidify his newfound edginess, that he always thought lucius was annoying, etc. but i truly, deeply in my soul see lucius as being someone ed has grown to care about, and he couldn’t have that around anymore. ed got rid of stede’s possessions, his crew - it was basically that taylor swift video where she burns all of her ex’s things in a fit of rage. so why didn’t ed just drop lucius off at the island along with the others? because lucius is a physical manifestation of the memory of stede, but also of that inner core of ed that he had buried so deep inside but slowly started letting out from knowing stede. when ed looks at lucius he sees both stede, the man he loves but he believes doesn’t love him back, but also the person he wishes he could be himself. kind, gentle, embracing his feminine side, not caring about who knows he’s gay, and someone who is loyal and protective of the people he loves. by pushing lucius overboard, ed is not only pushing away stede’s memory, he is also trying to kill the part of himself that he had only just started to embrace.

i wanna keep ranting about my love for the relationship between these two, but this is already so long. now i just really fucking hope s2 will fix this, because i need ed and lucius to be best friends and confidants.

Back, hurry back Please bring it back home to me Because you don’t know What it means to me

i can't stop thinking of ed saying that he doesn't feel fear yet the scariest thing he's ever seen was the kraken and then later on he says that he's the kraken i need a minute oh my god i need a fucking minute

snack on deck, mateys 👀

Ed going in for a kiss, but chickening out 😭

i know the general consensus is that ed knew he was in love with stede more or less right away, but i honestly don't see it that way. the first time ed laid eyes on stede he was fascinated; he was intrigued. he has been a pirate for so long, over half his life. he has met so many pirates, killed powerful people on the seas all over the world - but never has he met anyone like stede. in his soft fabrics, smelling like soap, and hair finely groomed. his cheeks has color from eating nutritiously and caring for himself in a way that even most land bound people couldn't. and then he gets to talk to stede and spend time with him, learning it's not just about how he looks, but how he talks and caries himself. he reads for pleasure, and has clothing thats meant for enjoyment. and he's kind! oh so kind! but at the same time he's also the only one who doesn't fall on his ass for ed, or acts weird around him. sure, he's a fidgety little guy, but he never exaggerates himself to impress ed. there's no wooing, or courting. stede is just stede. and it would be so easy to have ed resent stede; stede is the embodiment of what ed was showed and denied as a kid. stede had everything ed desired as a child, and he ran away from it. ed could hate him for it. but he doesn't. he's confused, he's curious. and every time ed learns something new about stede, he is craving more. i think it's more like ed faded into love with stede, and didn't fully realize it until about thirty seconds before he kissed him. the love carefully seeped into him at every moment they spent together, but it didn't fully hit him before that moment. but then it was like everything crashed into him all at once, and he couldn't remember what it felt like to not be in love with stede.