I feel like that Picard meme when I'm trying to desperate write Star Wars Rebel's fanfic to my friend and my knowledge of Star Wars as a whole topic is based on that one series (and not even all seasons!) and some very shaky memories of the movies.

Like, I've so many questions related to the fact, how things are addressed in Star Wars.

Like, what are droid's wrench-like hands called? Are those just hands?

Do imperial troops shoot lasers? Bullets? Like whut?

Also, those white stormtroopers...does the rebels call them stormtroopers or bucket heads?

Hows do the Force work apart from the fact Jedis and Padawans can use light sabers and make things float?

Is there cussing in Star Wars? I want to Zeb have potty mouth.

What are the ships called? Like, imperial ships? Enemy ships? How I should refer to those from the rebels' point of view?

And all the other little details keep coming to my mind, even though I'm pretty sure my friend won't mind as long as I'll make enough 'kaboom' and 'boom' scenes. Or, they'll laugh their butt off for all the 'mistakes' I make or be super impressed I could actually write a Star Wars fic, despite the fact my knowledge of it is very...very...bad.

But hey. It's fiction! So, I get to make my own rules!

(Not really, because I'll dread all the 'mistakes' I might make, even though I'm sure they won't notice those.)

Haha, I forgot how fun writing fanfiction can be, but at the same time stressing.

Watch me writing A + Star Wars fanfiction, while circling around all the little details masterfully~.

Just got my first...

Just got my first hate note concerning my art on DA. The creativity level of it was zero and it was pretty mild from what I've seen other people get. Blocked the user and deleted their note as any sensible person would do. I suppose I'm finally starting to make some rounds in there. Even so...I'll draw whatever I want and if that doesn't align with someone's interest who sees my art, I kindly ask you to move on and allow other people who like my art to see it. We all have different tastes, after all. So, let's try to get along, alright?

I just remembered last year, I made that ByaTomo Valentine's fic. I never posted it, because it got betaed after Valentine's day, but that was fine because I was still hammering some details during Valentine's Day...but that means... this year, I finally will get a chance to share it.

Get ready for the utter chaos of chocolate making! And yes, shikai will be used to make chocolate. And yes, some odd side effects will occur when poor guys (Renji, Ikkaku, Izuru, and Shuuhei) have to taste test (Rangiku's, Rukia's, and Tomoyo's) chocolates.

And Unohana is zero impressed by this all.

And there will be an extra part to this all!

That satisfactory feeling when you've just finished an art piece and it's looking damn fine. ✨

Wohoo~! Finally cracked the method of how to post my art on AO3! So happy over the fact I now know how to post art on AO3, because no matter how much I tried before I couldn't do it...but now I can. 😌🤗

Though I'll still post mainly my art on DA, Pixiv, and Tumblr in the future as to me AO3 is a more 'writing' site, even though you can post art on it...

Just finished today two of my digital artworks. The other one has been in making for a few years and the other one got wrapped up in mere few days.

I think it kind of depends on how complex the art piece will be for how quickly I can finish it. Surprisingly, sketching and making lineart digitally takes pretty much the longest time. (I usually make sketches traditionally and then ink them digitally.) But that's because I like to procrastinate when doing the sketch and it has to be as perfect as it can be before I'll scan it. As for the digital lineart...haha, if the line will be even a little bit longer, it'll come out wobbly or just ugly, so I'll endlessly redraw it again and again, despite the fact in the finished result one can't even see it. (But I'll know it.)

Welp, I still have more art pieces that I should at the first plan and then make before June will end. (Once again I'll be busy-bee during June when comes to art-wise...well, hopefully, or I'll marathon those art pieces while crying 'why I didn't start sooner when I had time?!')

Yosh!

The Star Wars Rebels gift fic to my friend for Valentine's Day is ready and I think it turned out pretty well, despite the fact I had to reach out to the community to help me and google tons of things.

But the important things got addressed which were: craziness, explosions, badassness, and chocolate!

I'm also proud of the fact I came up with a good name for it which is "Even Rebels eat chocolate".

Now I just have to polish it a bit the fic just so I can deliver it tomorrow to my friend~. Can't wait for it~.

Also, I'll tomorrow deliver to the rest of the people my Bleach x Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle crossover which will be filled with craziness, mishap, and chocolate-making! Plus, there will be a lovely small extra chapter as a side dish. 😊😄

To draw or not to draw that's the problem

To put it lightly, I'm super excited about the upcoming drawing that I'm drawing at the moment. Haven't felt for a while as excited as I'm at the moment. But the worst thing is it comes with a mental package of anxiety. After all, I would just want to draw, draw and draw it, but I'm supposed to do other things too, so my time to actually draw is limited...plus, each time when I feel like this when drawing, I also feel like 'this will become epic if I succeed' which creates anxiety over the fact 'what if I mess up it royally?' Which makes that, while I want to draw, yet at the same time...I unconsciously and consciously avoid drawing it. It's like some sort of paradox.

Okay.

Hum.

(How does one write once again coherent manner?)

So. I'm excited over the fact I'm starting to heal from a thing that happened in the past concerning fandom thing that kind of crippled me in a creative manner. Because of that crippling, I lost my writing voice which honestly sucked majorly butt. I'm still not writing as much as I used to, but at least I'm once again starting to brim from ideas.

The fact my newest fic received positive comments has also helped me a lot. It just feels nice when after such a long time I'm getting positive comments without any judgment or way too deep analyzing. Don't get me wrong -I absolutely love when I get comments where the reader tries to analyze my writing, but at times just fully positive comments are something every author (I believe) needs.

While I'm still not fully back in the game, I feel like it's okay. If not anything, I feel like I can start all over again with my writings.

The fandom will be probably one of my old ones which are ironic since I had kind of broken up with it? I even wrote a fic which was my way of saying to it 'goodbye'. But because of the positivity I've felt, I feel like I can include myself a bit more. If not anything else, it at least made that I've started to work on an old artwork of mine that had its deadline, yet because reasons I never finished it...not to mention, because other reasons I kind of ended up hating it which made that, I lost fully my motivation to finish it. But I'm now slowly working on it since it's a big art piece. I hope I can finish it and when I do, I'll post it on the internet. (It might not end up 'perfect', but even so...I hope other people will like it and I'll too.)

So excited about that, even though it's a lot of work. (I think that artwork will end up as one of those cathartic artworks.)

I also hope I'll be patient enough to just sit down and write some of those fics that are inside of my head because I've missed writing a lot. (And I want to share my thoughts and feelings through writing.)

But damn. Am I rusty when comes to writing or am I? Seriously, I feel like an elephant in a porcelain store, but I suppose that's a bit given when one starts to write once again. (That also includes thanking people for their kind comments. I feel like some sort of monkey that just hits the keyboard, not really knowing what buttons it's pushing. Yet I appreciate each and every comment I get.) If not anything else, at least there won't be (hopefully) that many restrictions when I try to write something when I do.

Is there love in the air?

Yesterday when I went to the supermarket, I couldn't help but notice something. I noticed various people had hearts in their clothes. One woman had a heart in their beanie, while one had a heart-shaped luminous badge on their butt, one younger girl had drawn a black-lined heart on her cheek while one old man had a heart-shaped luminous badge on his chest, and so on.

At first, I didn't really pay any attention to it, until I saw the fourth person having heart-shaped in their clothes. It made me ponder aloud to my friend if there was some sort of heart day or sort of that we had missed. I felt really out of the loop like I had missed something.

After a while, my friend suggested maybe those were leftover hearts from Valentine's. It made sense, but once I got back home I couldn't help but think: Valentine's day had been days ago. Almost a week ago, people had still worn hearts in their clothes. Not to mention, Valentine's day isn't in here such a big event as in some other countries. Yet despite that, a lot of people that I had seen yesterday had worn hearts even after Valentine's.

Maybe something has changed, thanks to the pandemic. If not anything else, it made me smile and feel like there was a bit more love in the air than usual.

At times I ponder if I should post my sketches on online, but then I remind myself not to do that as my watchers/friends/mutuals/those who just enjoy my art might see it and start to wait just when I'll finish those sketches...and then it has already been two years and it still seems I won't finish those sketches I made. 😅

Like, I've tons of sketches that are just waiting if I would some day finish those, but... then I get this new idea to draw and start drawing it or someone's birthday/name day is coming, so I'll work on that and-and-...is this only me or does such thing also happen to other people? I know such a thing happens at least fanfiction authors, but does it also happen to artists and other people too?

...I’ve discovered the power to make gifs. Or rather, now I know how to make those easier and I’m just so tempted to make few and post on my blog- ...yet I’m kind of worried my blog will turn even more messier chaotic if I also start to post gifs that I’ve made.

Or, should I just do it?