when you’re anxious (various haikyuu)
a/n: inspired by me cause i’ve been so anxious lately and couldn’t bring myself to finish the touch prompts just yet! pls leave feedback/reblog/hmu <3
warnings: descriptions of anxiety &anxiety symptoms, nudity (but not nsfw, just a bath in tsukishima’s), mentions/descriptions of food/not eating/loss of appetite in sugawara’s
featuring: timeskip akaashi, tsukishima, sugawara, & osamu
✰akaashi
akaashi was next to you sleeping peacefully, while you were tossing and turning. you sighed quietly, frustrated that you couldn’t sleep despite the fact that you were tired. the more you laid in bed, the more anxiety provoking thoughts that entered your mind, making it even harder to fall asleep.
you felt tears fill your eyes and you quickly blinked them away, not wanting to cry or wake up your boyfriend. however, the more anxious you got, the more tears built up until you felt you couldn’t stay in bed, quickly and quietly getting up to go to the bathroom and let yourself cry.
as soon as the bathroom door was shut, you let the tears from your eyes fall, pushing your face into your arms to try and muffle the sounds of your sobs. you were so caught up in your mind and trying to get your crying to stop, you didn’t notice akaashi had gotten out of bed until you heard the rattle of the door knob, signaling he was trying to get in.
“y/n? honey, you okay?” he asked gently from the other side of the door.
“yeah.” you sniffled, wiping your eyes. “‘m okay.”
“can you let me in sweetheart?” he asked once again, letting you know he wasn’t just going to go back to sleep.
you opened the door, still wiping your eyes and nose. you knew you weren’t exactly trying to hide anything, but you hoped in his state of tiredness he didn’t take notice of your state. “sorry, did you need to use the bathroom-”
“honey, you were crying. what’s wrong?” he interrupted, gently pulling you into his arms and rubbing his hand slowly up and down your back.
knowing you couldn’t hide anything from akaashi, you let out a shaky sigh. “i don’t know. i’m just really anxious and i can’t sleep and i’m getting stressed-” you cut yourself off, getting worked up again.
“shh, shh, it’s okay, honey. let’s move to the bed, yeah?” he whispered, guiding you slowly to the bed and lying down with you on his chest. “you wanna talk about it at all?”
you shrugged, feeling yourself relax as he drew shapes on your back softly.
“okay, baby. just know i’m here if you do, alright?” he told you, making you nod gratefully. “you want to put on your sleep playlist? think that would help?”
“only if it wouldn’t disrupt you. i can go out to the couch if it’ll be disruptive to you.” you mumbled as akaashi grabbed his phone.
“babe we made the playlist together.” he chuckled. “i’m happy to put it on.”
“thank you, love you.” you mumbled, closing your eyes and letting the music and your boyfriend relax you.
“and i love you, sweetheart. get some rest.”
✰tsukishima
you were sitting in your apartment, staring at your computer. it seemed like you were frozen, your eyes unable to move from the screen that lined up the amount of assignments you had due in the next week. it seemed like there was so much and you had so little time that you just felt overwhelmed.
the more you stared at it, the more anxious you got, feeling your breathing pick up and tears fill your eyes.
it was this state that tsukishima saw you in when he entered your shared apartment.
“have you moved since when i went to class?” he joked, his eyes widening when you turned to him with tears in your eyes. “shit, i’m sorry, what’s wrong?”
you opened your mouth, but nothing came out. he crouched down to be eye level with you in your chair. his own eyes glanced to your computer, almost instantly putting together what was going on.
“is everything saved?” he asked, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand as you nodded. “alright, we’re gonna close your computer, okay? no more work for today.”
“i need to do work. i need to finish everything-” you mumbled, but being cut off by your boyfriend shaking his head.
“i saw your deadlines. you don’t need to do any more work tonight.” he told you softly. “i’m gonna run you a bath, ‘kay?”
“‘mkay.” you responded quietly, something tsukishima hated. you were so bubbly and talkative most of the time and tsukishima hated seeing you so down and stressed.
“come with me?” he stood up and held out his hand, leading you gently to the bathroom when you placed your hand in his. you sat on the edge of the tub while he started the water, and putting in some bubble bath as well.
when it was done, he stood up, standing there awkwardly. “well, uh, bath is ready so i’ll, go. feel better.”
“wait.” you said quietly. “stay?”
“you want me to stay?” he asked, making you nod. “uh, okay. i can stay.”
the two of you took off your clothes and got into the bath, tsukishima sitting behind you so you could rest your head on his chest. his arm rested around your waist gently, your fingers playing with his gently.
“how was your day?” you asked, glancing up at him.
“fine. pretty boring. practiced some volleyball.” he responded.
“could tell. you were a little sweaty when you came in.” you smiled, making him roll his eyes.
“shut up.” he muttered. “how’re you feeling?”
“not as anxious or stressed as before, thanks kei.” you told him.
“that’s good.” he replied, before continuing in a teasing tone. “imagine getting anxious.”
“imagine being a simp for your significant other.” you teased.
“i’ll leave.” he joked, moving like he would be getting up.
“no.” you pouted, grabbing his arm. “stay.”
“that’s what i thought.” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “love you. i guess.”
“i love you too.”
✰sugawara
sugawara sat across from you at the table, watching with concern as you moved your food around but never actually ate any of it.
“baby?” he asked softly, making you peek at him. “you okay? you’ve barely eaten.”
“‘m okay. just not hungry.” you responded.
“you were starving while i was making dinner.” he gently reminded you. “what’s going on, hm?”
“i don’t know. just a little anxious i guess. kinda took away my appetite.” you replied, a frown forming on sugawara’s face.
“what’re you anxious about, my love?” he asked, reaching his hand across the table for yours, smiling when you slipped your hand in his.
“everything. i don’t know.” you muttered, closing your eyes. “sorry.”
“don’t apologize, my love. i know you’re anxious but can you try to eat something for me? you haven’t had anything to eat since lunch so you should get something in your system.” he told you, smiling once again when you nodded. “thanks, baby.”
the two of you made small talk while you ate, until you had finished.
“let’s just clean up tomorrow, baby. lemme take care of you tonight.” sugawara told you, making you smile. “how are you feeling?”
“i don’t know. still anxious.” you replied.
“well, let me make some tea,” he started, moving to turn on the kettle. “and then i’ll join you in bed and read to you. sound good?”
“sounds good.” you smiled as he pressed a kiss to your head.
“good. now go to bed, baby. i’ll be there soon.” he instructed, sending you off to your bedroom.
you got cozy in bed, only waiting a few minutes before sugawara returned with two cups of tea, placing them on his nightstand and handing one to you and getting into bed with you, pulling you into his chest.
he brought the first book he found on his way into the room, opening it and reading to you softly as you sipped your tea. he kept going, until he noticed your eyes were drooping.
he closed the book, placed your empty mug on the nightstand, turned off the lights, and pressed a kiss to your head before muttering a “goodnight, baby,” and allowing sleep to take over him as well.
✰osamu
you stared at your email, the offer letter for a new job almost mocking you. it was your dream job, something you were hoping would happen. but now that it was happening, you didn’t know how to feel. you were excited, yes, but it was a huge change. and that scared you.
osamu emerged from the bedroom, having just dried off from a shower. “is that the letter?”
you nodded.
“well, what does it say, baby?” he asked.
“i got the job.” you replied, osamu’s face lighting up.
“that’s great, baby! i knew you’d get it!” he cheered. “you happy?”
“yeah.” you whispered, your voice cracking. osamu caught on to this, however, and frowned.
“what’s wrong, baby?” he asked quietly, crouching down next to where you were sitting.
“the change is making me anxious.” you cried, tears falling from your eyes. “i’m happy but i’m really scared of the change.”
“oh honey,” he sighed, standing up and bringing you to his chest. “it’s okay, angel, you’ll be okay. take some deep breaths for me, hm?”
he took deep breaths for you to mimic, smiling when you did. “there ya go, good job.”
he wiped your eyes with his thumbs, smiling again when you looked up at him. “there ya are. hi baby.”
“hi.” you whispered.
“how’re ya feeling?”
you shrugged. “i don’t know what to decide.”
“well then you don’t have to decide right now. give it the weekend, alright?” osamu told you, holding you close to him.
“okay.” you sighed, breathing him in.
“in the meantime, i’m gonna make a celebratory dinner! my baby deserves a night nice for their accomplishment!”
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Perfectly Aligned
CHAPTER II
— L/N Y/N, best friend to Kageyama Tobio since age 6. L/N Y/N, the object of all Tsukishima Kei's desires since age 15.
Masterlist
CHAPTER I ➛ CHAPTER II ➛ CHAPTER III
word count: 11k
"How's that poster design coming along? Good, I'm hoping?" Nakano Miyaka, the Arts Club president, hovers over the table like a bespectacled hawk. Her thick glasses almost make her eyes look comically huge with the way she surveys the club room like some sort of cliché cranky supervisor from an office sitcom.
The Arts Club room is small and dingy, probably the smallest and dingiest room in prestigious Shiratorizawa. The four walls perpetually smell of acrylic paint and marker ink from paintings and other artwork that take too long to dry. The desks and chairs are stained with various pigments, courtesy of those hard-headed club members who always forget to put down newspaper before working on their projects.
Upon enrolling in high school, you had trouble finding a new club to pledge yourself to since you've said good bye to volleyball. When you were a kid, one of your favorite way to pass the time aside from playing volleyball is messing around with whatever coloring materials you could find in your pencil case— crayons, watercolors, those small pots of poster color that smell like expired medicine. You'd take your time creating your own masterpiece. More often than not, it would actually turn out good and your Dad would display it by the fridge or frame it to hang in the living room. You enjoyed making art for him, that was until he and your mother divorced. Suddenly, it didn't make sense to continue doing art anymore.
However, on your first day of school at Shiratorizawa, you were handed a flyer for the Arts Club by Miyaka herself who was scouting new recruits at the time. Perhaps it was her overly-enthusiastic persona, or maybe it was because the prospect of making art again made you feel nostalgic— either way, it only took three minutes of convincing before you were signing up.
Miyaka instantly took a liking to you. You're an efficient and productive member of the club, adamant on creating a good first impression on your clubmates. Not long after that, Miyaka has appointed you as the club's Secretary even though you're still a first year. You accepted the honor with much eagerness.
"Just tweaking a few things and then it's ready to be printed." Came the monotonous reply of the club's vice president, currently hunched back over his laptop.
"A few things, huh?" Miyaka gives a pointed look at him then at the laptop's screen. "Seems to me like you still have a lot to tweak considering the page is still freakin' blank."
Aoki Raiden groans and leans back against his chair, pulling the strings on his hoodie so the fabric engulfs his face.
"Please get off my back, Miyaka-san. I literally can't work with you watching me all the damn time."
Miyaka yanks the hood off his head. "I gave you a week to finish the poster design, Rai. We're already behind schedule as it is."
"You do know the festival isn't until October, right? It's still the middle of August, not to mention it's summer break. Stop being such a worrywart. We have plenty of time." Raiden drawls as his fingers clack on his laptop's keyboard. From where you're sitting, you can see the interface of Twitter on the screen, the poster design's editing page has been minimized and is now completely abandoned.
"I dedicated the whole summer break to work on our booth so we don't have to worry about it once school starts." Miyaka puts her hand on her hips in an attempt to assert authority. "Us third years are gonna be super busy by September and I won't have time to supervise this club by then. You really have to be more considerate, you know."
"Ugh, fine. Give me three days and I'll send you the final design."
"No, are you kidding me? You have until tomorrow to finish that."
Raiden glares at the club president but doesn't complain any more. Reluctantly, he pulls out the editing software again and begins working, but not without complaining all the way.
Miyaka then turns to you who are currently writing on your notepad at the corner of the room, a calculator sitting on your lap. "How about our budget plan, Y/N-chan? Has it been taken care of yet?"
"Yep, I've added both what we've spent so far and the estimation of how much we'll be spending once we build the booth itself." You say, tapping your pen on the notepad. "I made a table for it, too, Miyaka-san, so there won't be any confusion. I'll give the printed copy to you tomorrow."
You rummage through your notepad, checking your various notes from the days before. "I've also checked in with Ryo-san and the other second-years earlier. They're about 50% done with the mural but they ran out of paint so they had to order more. Their expenses are already accounted for, by the way."
"See? That's what a responsible club member looks like. You should really learn a thing or two from your kouhai. Seriously, I should have fired you as vice president and appointed her instead."
Raiden can only sneer in response, both at you and Miyaka. His typing becomes more aggravated by the second.
"And what about the piece you'll be showcasing at the silent auction?" The bespectacled third-year asks you again.
"Also done but it's still drying. I used oil paint."
"Great! I'm thinking of making that our centerpiece."
"What?" Raiden almost jumps from his seat. "How about my clay sculpture of Bourgeois' Spider? You told me it's gonna be the centerpiece!"
"Well, we can't actually showcase something you haven't even started on yet, can we? Tell you what, show me the finished product and I might actually change my mind."
"I'm getting on it! Just stop pestering me about it! God!"
Miyaka says something snarky in retaliation but you don't hear it. You're busy looking at the clock mounted on the wall to hear about the bickering of your two upperclassmen. The clock reads 2:28 PM. Tobio texted you an hour ago saying that they've defeated their first opponent and were currently waiting for their next match. You're almost buzzing in your seat in worry that you won't be able to catch it.
"Miyaka-san, I was wondering if I could leave early today? I'm supposed to watch the boys volleyball at the Sendai City Gymnasium."
"Eh? But I was told Shiratorizawa isn't playing today. Something about them being too good?"
"Oh, yeah, they won the Inter High so they're already seeded in the Qualifiers." You nod. "I'm actually gonna watch Karasuno."
"Why? Is your boyfriend in there?" Miyaka wiggles her eyebrows. You know it's just a playful teasing but you can't help getting flustered. Your cheeks heat up almost immediately. You hate how you always have this reaction.
"No, just my best friend."
"Yeah, right." Miyaka rolls her eyes with a sly smirk on her lips. "Everybody knows best friend is, like, code for boyfriend"
You reiterate rather defensively that Tobio is just a friend despite Miyaka clearly not believing you. It always entertains you whenever she teases and badgers Raiden but when you're on the receiving end of it, you don't think it's amusing anymore. Only when your face is about the shade of a ripe tomato did Miyaka stop her teasing, but not without giggling about how agitated you look about the whole thing.
Eventually, she grows tired of joking around and agrees to your request.
"No fair! How come she gets to go?" Raiden whines. The way he pouts and crosses his arms like that reminds you of one of those spoiled kids who throw temper tantrums in malls. He's a few months older than you but you forget that with how childish he acts sometimes.
"For one, she's actually been very productive today and she deserves an early out."
"What, just because she's the Darling Setter of Miyagi, she's free to watch volleyball anytime?"
Miyaka cocks her head to the side. "Darling what of Miyagi?"
"Setter. It's just a nickname I got when I used to play volleyball back in middle school." You wave it off as if it's no big deal— though you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the warm swell of pride in your chest upon hearing that nickname again after so long.
"Which is cringe and tacky, by the way." Raiden rolls his eyes, something you're now accustomed to seeing. You stick your tongue to him which he responds by sticking his tongue back to you. You don't take offense whenever Raiden eggs on you like that because you know he doesn't really mean it— it's just the way he is. To be honest, you have grown quite fond of his salty remarks, and sometimes, you even participate whenever he initiates a lighthearted squabble.
"I knew you used to play volleyball but I didn't know you were famous. Should I ask for your autograph?" Miyaka leans against your desk with an impressed look on her face.
"As much as I want to sign stuff for you, Miyaka-san, I don't think my autograph is worth anything anymore." You hope your response is buoyant enough to hide the fact this is a sore topic for you. You still haven't fully come into terms that you're not a volleyball player anymore.
"You really sure it's okay that I leave early?" You hastily add as an attempt to steer the conversation.
The bespectacled third-year taps her chin in thought as she looks at Raiden who is brooding in the corner. "You know what? I'm actually in the mood to watch some volleyball, too. Can I go with you, Y/N?"
"Of course, you can. I never pegged you as a volleyball fan, though."
"Oh, I'm not." She chuckles as she tidies up her desk. "But my boyfriend is such a nerd for it so I figured I should try to appreciate it more."
"Oh? You have a boyfriend?." Your brows shot up in surprise at this fact.
"You don't have to look so surprised about it, but yes. We made it official two weeks ago. We're keeping it lowkey. Not many people know yet."
"Oh my god," You hear Raiden's trademark exasperated sigh before he closes his laptop with a muddled thud. "A lot of people know you're dating Tendou-san. You can't say it's lowkey if it's all over your Twitter. Also, that whole will-you-be-my-girlfriend shenaniganhe did by the congregating area? Yeah, thatwasn't as cute as you think it was. He littered so much confetti that day, it looked like a unicorn threw up all over the place. Our class had to clean that up while you and your boyfriend made out behind the gym. You thought we didn't see that, huh? Well, we did!"
"Jesus, Raiden, that's not your story to tell!" shrieks Miyaka. The sound of it has you flinching.
Miyaka and Raiden commence yet another wrangle with the former chastising the latter for exposing her love life like that. Whenever something like this happens, you always give the two of them a couple of minutes before both of them cool down and continue on normally as if nothing happened. On your first few weeks with this club, you did think that this constant spat between the president and vice president was a bit too much for your liking— but then you learned soon enough that Miyaka and Raiden have been friends since middle school, and them fighting is a common occurrence, almost always not personal. They are actually really solid friends when both of them are in a good mood.
Your two upperclassmen finally reach an impasse. You haven't been listening to their argument so you don't exactly know how they went from Miyaka getting mad at Raiden for disclosing info about her love life, to Miyaka inviting Raiden to watch volleyball with you. You were busy putting away the papers and stationaries into their respective drawers when you heard Miyaka ask if Raiden wanted to come to the Sendai Gymnasium instead of being a whiny little bitch (the exact phrase she used). The way she worded the invite was a bit unorthodox but you know well enough that she just invited him so Raiden wouldn't feel left out when the two of you leave. She really cares for him in that way.
Their friendship is weird, you think to yourself as Raiden sassily agrees to go. You didn't plan on having company at Tobio's game, but your two senpai are alright companions— there are worse people to be stuck with.
"Maybe after the game, the three of us could go for some yakiniku." Miyaka has locked the club room and is now bouncing on the balls of her feet at her suggestion.
"As long as you're paying, then it's fine by me." Raiden lags behind you and Miyaka as the three of you set off.
"If you had given me the poster design today, maybe I'd have considered treating you— but you didn't, so no yakiniku for you."
"I have money. I can pay for my own yakiniku, thank you very much."
Your phone buzzes in your pocket. Tobio's name pops up on the screen with a text that has you widening your eyes.
"Guys, the game is starting in fifteen minutes! We have to hurry!"
You clutch your bag tight as you begin to sprint towards the gates. Miyaka and Raiden follow suit staggeringly. The former is shouting for you to slow down while the latter grumbled annoyedly to himself about regretting his decision to come.
The bus ride from Shiratorizawa to the Sendai City Gymnasium was fortunately quick. Though the game has probably already started, you still drag Miyaka and Raiden into a convenience store so you can get some snacks to give to Tobio after the game. Miyaka doesn't miss this opportunity to tease you further about being head-over-heels in love with your best friend, which you tried to ignore but couldn't help getting defensive over.
After paying for your stuff, you practically yank the two of them by their shirts into the stadium.
By the time you've arrived at the stands, the whole place is already buzzing with cheers from the crowd. There aren't many supporters because it's only the preliminaries but the air is still thick with excitement and anticipation.
It takes you three seconds to locate Karasuno's black and orange uniform in the court. The first set of their game against Kakugawa has already started. The scoreboard tells you that Kakugawa is leading at 2-0, though years of playing volleyball has taught you that it's still too early to gauge the trajectory of the game.
"That's Karasuno." You tell your companions, pointing at the court in front of you.
"Uh-huh, and which one's your boyfriend?" Miyaka cranes her neck and squints her near-sighted eyes to see the players better.
"Not a boyfriend." You remind her. "He's. No. 9."
"So tall!" You hear Miyaka emit a yelp. You follow her gaze and realize she's not looking at Tobio— she's looking at the opposing team's No. 9, who is probably the tallest high schooler you've ever laid your eyes on. He could be about two-meters tall, maybe even more. For a moment, you wonder what this would mean for Karasuno— a two-meter giant like that is surely a pain to play against. You'd hate to see Tobio's team lose just because of the overwhelming advantage Kakugawa has.
"I meant the black team's No. 9." You nudge her by the shoulder and point at Tobio in the other side of the court who is currently conversing with his teammates about what to do during the next rally. During his years at Kitagawa Daichi, he used to despise communicating with his team, but now you can see that he has changed so drastically. He looks more confident now, more open. You smile at this realization.
Miyaka nods approvingly upon seeing Tobio, commenting that he's tall and cute. She even goes as far as to say that he suits you perfectly and that you look good together, which elicits a flustered squeak from you.
You remain silent after that. You follow Tobio's form as he expertly maneuvers the ball across the court. You cheer whenever Karasuno scores and gasps in dejection whenever the other team does. You don't think Tobio knows you're here yet— not once has he looked at your direction since you arrived, not that you're expecting him to look for you. You understand completely well that the only thing that has his undistracted attention during the game is the ball itself.
Raiden grumbles about you being too loud, but you beg to differ— you're just getting fired up. Little does he know that your loudest cheer is yet to come.
The first time you see Tobio and Hinata's new quick attack is when you lose your mind, screaming and applauding until both your throat and palms felt sore. It's just so thrilling to see it firsthand, especially as a former setter yourself. Normal people may see it and think it's just a flashy move, but you know how much precision and concentration a setter has to master before executing such a technique.
Your best friend really is a genius.
"Nice toss, Tobio!" You shout. You doubt he heard you among the collective astonishment of the crowd. You're so fired up that Raiden has to poke you on your ribs to bring you to reality.
After that first quick attack, your focus is now entirely on the game, occasionally turning to Miyaka whenever she has some technical questions about what's going on in the court. Even though you learned that she's dating Tendou Satori, she doesn't seem to be all that informed about volleyball yet. Raiden remains quiet as he leans against the hand rail, observing the game with a bored countenance— though there's this one instance when he groans disappointedly when Karasuno's ace botched his jump serve. You find it amusing that this Shiratorizawa student has started rooting for Karasuno as well.
You're here to support Karasuno as a whole but you still can't help being biased. You can't seem to tear your gaze away from Tobio— so much so that the other members of the team seem like faceless characters in the background. You see them all moving and you're aware of each member's efforts but you're bewitched by Tobio. You can't not look at him.
All that changed, however, when he steals the crowd's attention with a monster kill block.
For the first time that day, your focus settles on Tsukishima.
Honestly speaking, you kind of forgot he was even in the team. If it weren't for that superb kill block he did, you would have went along the entire game not acknowledging his existence. All of a sudden, though, the attention you're giving Tobio isn't undivided anymore— Tsukishima has half of it now.
"Whoa, he stopped that ball all by himself like what Satori does." You hear Miyaka observe beside you in awe.
Tsukishima doesn't seem unfazed nor thrilled after winning that mid-air battle. He maintains his cool mien even as his team surround him joyously. He goes back to position, adjusts his glasses, and prepares for the next rally as if he didn't just effectively shut down the opponent's spiker all on his own. If you were playing against him, you'd be extremely annoyed at how calm he is.
Still, despite alternating your focus on Tobio and Tsukishima, the former still has your unrelenting support. When he and Hinata ended the first set with yet another freak quick, you didn't know your scream was the loudest. Only when Miyaka laughed at you about it did you mellow down and opted for clapping your hands instead.
The second set is just as gripping as the first, maybe even more. You got to see for the first time Karasuno do a synchronous attack and whenever they do, your eyes unknowingly follow Tsukishima run up to the net and jump with the intent of spiking. The blonde is a great blocker but he's also an effective spiker with his height and ball control. You find yourself cheering and clapping whenever he scores.
Miyaka notices by the second set that your loudest applause are reserved for Tobio and Tsukishima, and sometimes the occasional gasp of astonishment for Hinata's amazing reflexes. The other Karasuno members are amazing players in their own right but you seem more ardently supporting the aforementioned two.
After Tsukishima scores with a block-out, you bring your hands to your mouth and shout a rather impressed "nice kill". By this, Miyaka taps your shoulder to get your attention, and she wastes no time asking forthrightly if you know the blonde. You respond by saying that you have met him before but choose not to elaborate further. Fortunately for you, Miyaka doesn't press any more. You can only imagine how excruciating her teasing would be if she knew the nature of how you met Tsukishima.
After Hinata scores the final point in favor of Karasuno, you and Miyaka find yourselves hugging each other in glee. You have probably rubbed off your enthusiasm on her because she asks if you'd accompany her to watch Shiratorizawa's game at the qualifiers to which you happily agree. Even Raiden who looked disinterested throughout the whole game is joining in on the applause, evidently enjoying the match more than what he expected.
"We still on for barbecue?"
"I am kinda hungry so I guess I'll go with you." Raiden shrugs. The three of you make your way down the stairs as the crowd starts dispersing.
"I'm coming, too. I'll just congratulate Tobio and give him the snacks I bought. I won't be long."
"You're hopeless." You see Raiden shake his head mockingly.
"I think it's cute." Miyaka simpers. "You don't understand these things yet because you're single since birth, Rai."
You almost remind her that you are also single since birth and Tobio is not your boyfriend, but you feel like you've reiterated that fact enough that it's getting annoyingly redundant.
"You go on ahead, Y/N. We're gonna go to the rest rooms because I'm gonna freshen up and Rai has to splash cold water to his face to wipe off that hideous scowl. Just meet us there?"
"Okay! Be back in a jiffy!" With this, you're off speed walking to the direction of the corridor where you remember players keep their baggage in. You've been in this stadium a lot when you were in middle school that you still have the whole place memorized.
It takes you two minutes to see Tobio. He's still in his uniform so you locate him right away among the other players that are coming and going. He has his back turned on you, head downcast as he adjusts his bag that is slung over his shoulder.
You tiptoe to where he is. The surrounding chatter of other boys in the vicinity makes your arrival all the more unnoticeable.
"So, that's your new quick attack, huh?"
Tobio wheels around upon hearing your voice. His default scowl is replaced by a smirk once he sees that it's you who has spoken.
"Impressed?" You can see his ego radiating off of him like an aura.
"It's alright." You shrug in faux nonchalance.
"Liar. I heard you screaming louder than everyone earlier."
You blush profusely at that. You knew you were loud (Raiden wasted no opportunity calling you out on it), but you didn't know Tobio heard you all the way down the court. His other teammates must have heard you too and thought you were crazy. The mere thought of it is enough to make you cringe in embarrassment.
"Okay, fine. It was pretty neat." You finally admit, rolling your eyes. "Congrats on getting through the preliminaries. You guys deserved it."
Tobio grins, the kind that is laced with a dangerous amount of smugness. If you didn't know him at all, you would be offended rather than pleased when he says his thanks.
"Here, I got you this." You rummage through your bag and give him a paper bag from the convenience store you went into earlier. Inside are a bottle of sports drink and three protein bars— all his favorite brand and flavor, you made sure of that.
Tobio thanks you as he rips open a protein bar with his teeth before biting into it. He demolishes the bar in two enormous bites which prompts you to berate him for eating too quickly lest he wants to choke to death. You threaten to take back the remaining two protein bars if he doesn't slow down. He argues with you with his mouth full, spewing unintelligible protests and half-chewed oats alike as he raises the paper bag out of your reach.
That scene may have been a little too loud because from behind Tobio, a mop of orange hair pops out to investigate the small commotion.
"What's happening here— Kageyama! You went to buy snacks without me?" Hinata seems to be more offended upon seeing Kageyama's stuffed face.
Tobio shakes his head and juts his thumb at your direction, trying to say without words that it's you who gave the snacks to him. Hinata blinks as he registers your presence for the first time.
"Shiratorizawa?" His gaze lingers for a second on the shirt you're wearing which is purple with the academy's emblem printed on the front— the same shirt Miyaka and Raiden are wearing today. Since it's summer break, you don't have to wear your school uniform while doing club work inside campus but every once in a while, Miyaka still orders the club to wear the purple shirt, probably only for aesthetic reasons.
"Hey, is she your girlfriend?" Hinata tiptoes so he can whisper to Tobio's ear. It's not really a whisper because you can still hear it, and probably other people in the vicinity heard it too.
"She's just a friend, dumbass." Tobio barks at the small middle blocker.
"Hi. I'm Y/N." You take it upon you to introduce yourself with a bow.
The middle blocker visibly stiffens when you speak, his entire face erupting into a shade of scarlet that has you worrying if he's okay.
"Hinata Shoyo! N-n-nice to meet you, too!" He squeaks.
"What's that I hear? Kageyama has a girlfriend?" Tobio's other teammate with the No. 2 jersey enters the scene from the benches you didn't realize he was sitting on, almost hopping to where you are to take a closer look at you. Either Hinata's voice was too loud or No. 2 just has superhuman hearing.
"She's not my girlfriend, Sugawara-san." Tobio says a-matter-of-factly.
It kind of annoys you how Tobio never shows emotion whenever he denies being your girlfriend— something he does more often than you would have realized. It's always robotic, as if he's reciting from a user manual for a build-your-own furniture. It's annoying to you because you're the exact opposite— when someone insinuates that you and Tobio are a couple, you're always reduced to a blushing mess. It's just so unfair, you think. How come he's not bothered by it at all?
"Y/N, is it? I'm Sugawara, Kageyama's senpai." He grins proudly as he puts his arm over Tobio's shoulder, making the latter stiffen uncomfortably.
"Nice to meet you." You bow to the silver-haired boy.
"Oh? You're from Shiratorizawa." He parrots the observation Hinata had earlier.
"Yes, I'm a first year student there."
"I bet you guys are bummed out that your volleyball team didn't get Kageyama-kun here." Sugawara looks smug in a way that is lighthearted.
"I don't think they're bummed out, Sugawara-san. They're the ones who rejected me." Tobio's reply has you snorting. How did he manage to say that as seriously as he did?
"And they're definitely regretting that now, no?" Sugawara gave Tobio's back a rather loud smack which is supposed to be an encouraging pat.
"Where are the rest of your team?" You ask out of curiosity. It seems like Tobio, Hinata, and Sugawara are the only Karasuno players around. The absence of a certain blonde doesn't go unnoticed by you.
"Rest room, probably, or watching the remaining games.", came Tobio's curt reply.
"I think Asahi and Daichi are getting drinks from the vending machines." Sugawara quips in, looking at his wristwatch. "Now that I think of it, I've been waiting for my soda for twenty minutes now. Where the hell are those guys?"
Suddenly, as if on cue, a boisterous and rather obnoxious laughter rings from the other side of the hallway. Karasuno's No. 5 and No. 4 are loudly joshing around with the rest of Karasuno in tow.
It's hard not to spot him among his teammates. He stands out with his towering height and striking blonde hair. Tsukishima currently has his headphones on, scrolling on his phone with his hand tucked inside his pants pocket. He has already changed out of his uniform and into a plain white shirt and black trousers.
You're having a hard time registering the fact that the two of you are gonna see each other again— not that you're entirely opposed to it. The boy has definitely earned a considerable percentage of your trust after he had walked you home last night. Maybe you could thank him again for that. You just don't know how you're gonna open up that conversation. Even thinking about how awkward it would be already has you cringing already.
You debate with yourself whether or not you should get away now. You are not necessarily avoiding Tsukishima. It's just that after the events of last night, you feel like meeting him again would be a painful kind of awkward. You'd hoped that the interaction you two had wouldn't have a sequel. You're grateful for what he did for you but you were already so embarrassed about it, and having to interact with him again would just relive that in your memory.
By the time you've made your decision to scram, the incoming group is already a few feet away. Tsukishima peels his gaze away from his phone once the group has stopped in front of Sugawara who is giddy to get his soda he's been waiting on for twenty minutes. You instinctively let Tobio's body cover your own, not wanting to let your presence known just yet. Meeting new people, especially a lot of them, is particularly overwhelming for you.
At first, Tsukishima doesn't see you as he takes his headphones off and let it hang on his neck. A tall freckled boy is currently talking to him, stealing his attention. You don't realize you've been staring at Tsukishima. It is only when he felt the ghost prickle of a pair of eyes trained on him did he look at your direction. When he meets your gaze, it is you who is the more shocked. Hazel eyes fix on yours. If he is the least bit surprised to see you, he doesn't let it show. His expression doesn't change as his gaze lingers on you for a second before turning back to the boy whom we was conversing with.
Immediately, you cower even further behind Tobio.
"I should probably go now." You say, careful not to let your presence more known than it already is.
Your voice is soft, barely above whisper. By the looks of things, it is only Kageyama, Sugawara, Hinata, and Tsukishima who know that you're there. You're hiding behind Tobio (Sugawara and Hinata are stood beside him so their figures unknowingly conceal you too). The rest of the boys are oblivious of you— you're thankful for the loud No. 4 and No. 5 duo for diverting the team's attention with a most likely exaggerated story about a heated altercation with a rival team they bumped into at the rest rooms.
"Where are you going?" It's Kageyama's voice that catches the attention of the group. You could have slipped quietly without anyone noticing if he hasn't spoken. Curse him and his megaphone voice.
You're suddenly aware of a dozen or so pairs of eyes trained on you.
"Who's this?" It is No. 4, the libero, who pops the question. He's elbowing No. 5 whose eyes look like they've seen stars once they lay on you.
"Uh, sorry... I'm L/N Y/N. It's nice to meet you all." You really should have gotten away while you had the chance
"L/N? As in L/N Hotaru's daughter?" No. 5 has his eyes widened, his finger pointing at you. "You're the Darling Setter! I knew you looked familiar!"
"Right! L/N Y/N, I remember now. You were on Volleyball Monthly!", points out Sugawara. "Your hair was so much shorter back then. I almost didn't recognize you."
A part of you wished that they didn't. You're not at all accustomed anymore to people recognizing you as the Darling Setter. All you can do is smile awkwardly as the boys seem to renew their interest on you. You can see Tobio silently laughing, amused at how you looked uncomfortable at the spotlight.
Hinata is probably the most impressed. He's practically jumping up and down in front of you, his eyes twinkling as if he is star struck.
"You're the L/N Y/N? My sister saw you on the television last year. She thought you were very pretty and wanted to be like you!"
"R-really?" You stammer out, both flattered and disbelieving.
"Yeah! Her name's Natsu. She's only 9 years old but she's already interested in volleyball, and she wants to—"
"Oi, can't you see she's uncomfortable?" Tobio butts in, glaring at Hinata's enthusiasm.
You're not really uncomfortable, per se. You're just not used to the attention anymore. Back when you were in middle school, you absolutely adored being in the center of it, not so much now that you're in high school.
"It's fine." You assure your best friend.
"I appreciate that, Hinata. Please tell Natsu I say hi." Hinata beams at your response.
No. 4 and No. 5 are nudging each other on the ribs, wordlessly working out which of them gets to talk to you first. You watch, amused, how they try to muster the courage to step forward and talk to you. They must really have no experience talking with girls, judging by how they're struggling right now.
"Don't you two try anything funny. She's Kageyama's girlfriend." Sugawara wags a finger at the two of them and they exclaim both their surprise and what could only be disappointment.
"She's not." Tobio denies as nonchalantly as ever before tipping his head back to drink from the sports drink you gave him.
"Kageyama, you lucky bastard!"
"Way to go, Kageyama!"
The two have apparently ignored his denial.
Your eyes are casted down to your shoes so you don't see the way Tsukishima raises his eyebrow a millimeter upon hearing what Sugawara said. Not only that— he narrows his eyes ever so slightly when he sees your dejected reaction at Tobio's response.
"Wait, so are you or are you not his girlfriend?" It's No. 4 who speaks this time.
Before you could open your mouth to speak, two fists smack on top of No. 4 and No.5's heads. The fists belong to whom you recognize is the team's captain.
"Nishinoya, Tanaka," He growls warningly. "Stop harassing her or else I'll have the two of you run laps on our next training."
Nishinoya and Tanaka mutter their apology with a bow and you wave them off, saying that it's really no problem. For some reason, they also turn to apologize to Tobio who just stared at them in utter confusion, biting on his protein bar without saying a word.
Some of Tobio's teammates start conversing with you, too— nothing much, just questions that are more for the sake of either being polite or genuine curiosity than anything else.
"H-hello. You've mastered the jump floater serve, right? What's the technique so it doesn't end up doing a topspin, if you don't mind me asking?" The tall boy Tsukishima was talking to earlier approaches you. You'll soon learn that his name is Yamaguchi. He still seems shy. You can very clearly see his cheeks dusted in pink and he stutters out the majority of words in his sentences, but he makes an effort to talk to you nevertheless. Ironically enough, seeing that he's more nervous than you melts away your own uneasiness.
By this time, all your nerves and apprehension about meeting Tobio's team has dissipated. It's easy to talk with them because they're nice people, treating you with respect and friendliness. You're thankful for them for not asking too many questions about your ex-Olympian father— you're proud of him but talking about him is taxing and quite repetitive sometimes.
Yamaguchi and Hinata are specifically the two who kept the conversation going. You've built a rapport with them maybe because they're first-years such as yourself. Yamaguchi is now asking you if the entrance exam to Shiratorizawa was really as hard as everyone said it was. He visibly blanched when you said that the exam gave you a headache that lasted for days. Hinata, however, is more curious about your volleyball career. When you told the orange-haired middle blocker that you're not part of any volleyball club right now, his eyes widened to the size of saucers. He voices out that it's such a waste of talent. He has a way with wording out his compliments that you feel yourself blushing pathetically. Tobio just stands beside you through it all, munching on his protein bar as he listens to you talk with his teammates and occasionally adding to the conversation if his input is needed.
It doesn't take long before you're laughing quite freely with them.
Through the whole ordeal, Tsukishima has backed away from the group unnoticed. He is currently leaning against the wall a few feet away, his headphones fit snuggly on his ears but the music is turned off. Scrolling aimlessly on his phone has lost its appeal by now and he wishes he'd brought his PSP with him to pass time.
Every couple of minutes or so, you steal a glance at Tsukishima. He's the only one from the team who hasn't said a word to you, not even a polite greeting. You were a bit anxious at the prospect of talking to him again, but now that he clearly has no plan to even spare you a minute of his time, you feel quite annoyed. The two of you are not friends, probably not even acquaintances— but still, after the events of last night, you expect him to at least not treat you like a stranger.
It's not like you want him to approach you and be all chummy. You just want him to acknowledge you, maybe with a nod of recognition or even a small wave of his hand wouldn't hurt. Heck, you even cheered for him at their game earlier. You weren't being subtle with it, too. You were screaming until your throat was raw— he definitely heard you supporting him. The only explanation is he just doesn't care and he just doesn't know how to behave like a decent human being.
Maybe you were wrong when you thought he wasn't half as bad last night. Maybe you were too lenient on your judgment when he is utterly and very clearly just a jerk.
You look away from him with a huff. If he doesn't want to be your friend (or at the very least, an acquaintance), then it's most definitely his loss and not yours.
From the corner of your eyes, you see two purple figures standing at the hall's entrance. The Shiratorizawa shirt that Miyaka and Raiden are wearing are hard to miss. Miyaka waves at you once you make eye contact with her. They must have been waiting by the rest rooms for quite some time for them to come looking for you. This is as good a cue as any to say leave.
"I really have to go, Tobio. Some club officers and I made plans to get barbecue."
"You won't come over for dinner?" He asks, his head tilted to the side. You're vaguely aware of Hinata and Sugawara suddenly whispering among themselves upon hearing that.
"No, sorry. They're already waiting for me. It'd be rude if I cancelled now." You nod at the direction of your two senpai standing a few feet away, emphasizing your point.
"Mom is expecting you for tonight. " He shrugs but you don't miss the small pout he makes. "But whatever, it's your call."
"I suppose I could swing by later if we finish at the yakiniku place early?" It came off more like a bargain than a suggestion.
"But you'd be full by then."
"I'll save room, don't worry." You cheekily respond with a light chuckle. "I guess I'll see you later?"
Tobio ends the conversation with a nod and a short "okay".
With this, you turn to the rest of the group. They're not looking at either you or Tobio but you know that they heard your conversation. They must feel like they've being privy to something intimate, which you can assure them that they're not. Hinata is biting his bottom lip, clearly stopping himself from commenting anything. Sugawara is whistling as his eyes flit to the toe cap of his shoes. Nishinoya and Tanaka are having a hard time closing their mouths as they continue to gape at Tobio. All of them a clearly still under the impression that you are his girlfriend.
"It's nice meeting you all." You say to the group and you're met with a chorus of pleasantries.
"Bye, Hinata, Yamaguchi!" You wave specifically at the two freshmen whom you've bonded with the most.
You bow at the rest before turning on your heels and walking away. You don't see the way Tsukishima's eyes follow your retreating figure.
You're at least twenty feet away when Sugawara's hand finds the crown of Tobio's head, ruffling his hair roughly. "You dog! She's definitely your girlfriend. You're inviting her over for dinner!"
"I really envy you right now, Kageyama!"
"I wish I had a girlfriend too."
"Teach us your ways!"
The pandemonium that ensues after you left could be something out of a comedy skit. They're simply refusing to believe Tobio when he says over and over, almost pleadingly, that you are just his best friend. Tobio isn't the type to raise his voice at his upperclassmen so Hinata took the brunt of his fury when the setter reached his breaking point.
You would have found it hilarious how your best friend chased Hinata around, kicking the poor boy on the shin when he finally caught up to him.
You would also definitely appreciate the way Tobio blushed uncontrollably as his teammates continued to jeer and tease, if only you had seen it.
You apologize profusely to your two upperclassmen when you finally reach them, saying that you lost track of time talking to the Karasuno players. However, they don't seem at all angry about your tardiness. In contrary, they have a glint in their eyes that tell you they're amused about something.
"For a non-girlfriend, you sure looked a lot like a girlfriend back there." Raiden says with a roll of his eyes . You didn't realize they've been watching the whole ordeal all this time.
"Huh?"
"He's right, Y/N. I mean, think about it— not only did you watch his game, you also bought him after-game snacks. Not to mention he introduced you to his teammates." Miyaka links her arm to yours as the three of you start making your way to the stadium's exit. "It's like this unspoken rule among athletes' girlfriends, and you should trust me on this because I'm an athlete's girlfriend."
You manage to let out an incredulous scoff. "You guys are being ridiculous. It's no big deal, really. I've been doing it for him since we were in middle school."
"Woof, that's rough." Raiden whistles. "So, you've been doing girlfriend duties since middle school but he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend yet?"
"It's not that simple." You groan, both exasperatedly and bashfully.
"How is that not simple? You like him and by the looks of things, he likes you, too." It's Miyaka who speaks this time.
"He likes me?" It's really cringe and embarrassing that that's what you took away from her statement.
"It's really obvious," She says without hesitation. "I have a good eye on this kind of stuff. Trust me, he likes you."
You stay silent for a few seconds to ponder on her words. You'd be lying if you said that you haven't been fantasizing about Tobio liking you back. The idea just seems farfetched, especially since it's Tobio of all people. He has the emotional capacity of a grain of rice.
You try your best to think nothing of it. You will just end up getting hurt if you believe what they're saying. You don't want to feed yourself blind hope, especially if there's nothing to back up their claim.
"He doesn't." You mumble, feeling your heart sink. It is with a painful acceptance do you realize that you believe that sentence wholeheartedly.
Miyaka and Raiden look at each other, communicating silently. They're one of the closest friends you have in school. All those times you spent in the club room slaving away projects upon projects really strengthened your bond with them. They are probably the next people who know you best after Tobio.
"Why do you seem so sure? You haven't even confessed yet." Raiden says with a scoff.
"I'm not gonna confess because I know he'll just reject me. It'll ruin everything and I don't want that to happen. It's too risky." You're now past denying that you do like Tobio. It's actually quite refreshing for you to talk about your feelings for him this openly. You feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders after years of hopeless pining.
"Wow. You really are stupid."
"Rai-san!" You cry out, clearly offended.
"You have a mirror, don't you? You're fully aware that you're pretty and if you disagree with that, either you have brain damage or just really dense. You're smart, you're hella good at volleyball— you're also, like, his number one fan. Tell me, what more could he want?" Raiden taps his finger on your temple. "Think, Y/N. If he had any ideal girl, it would be you."
You're always so surprised whenever Raiden shows his supportive side, albeit the way he delivered it could have been nicer and less abrasive. He always seems so negative and snarky, but when he does say something nice, you know it's genuine. Miyaka can only nod her head vigorously in agreement.
"Aw, Rai-san!" You throw yourself at him and engulf him in an embrace. You hear him grumble in protest but he allows you to hug him nevertheless.
"Rai has never said anything nice like that to me. I'm actually really jealous" Miyaka says with a soft pout. "What he said is true, though. You're the perfect girl for Tobio and I'm sure he already knows that. You should confess and see how it goes."
"I-I don't know." You bite your bottom lip. "I need time to think about it."
"You'll have plenty of time to think about it while we eat barbecue. I'm absolutely starving. How about you two slowpokes hurry up before all the good tables are taken, yeah?" With this, Miyaka tugs you by the arm as she speed walks. You don't protest because the grumbling in your stomach tells you that you're getting quite hungry too.
Your trio reach the exit of the stadium and you're fortunate enough to catch a bus immediately. The topic of Tobio is momentarily set aside as Raiden shows you a video he took of Miyaka napping in the club room, a steady stream of drool coming out of her open mouth. Raiden even threatens that he'd send the video to Tendou, which obviously rattles Miyaka. Her face turns into a bright shade of red, demanding Raiden to delete that video or she would make sure he regretted it.
You and Raiden laugh hysterically, so much so that the other passengers on the bus give you the side-eye. Miyaka looks like she's gonna exolode with embarrassment as she tries to pry Raiden's phone from his hands.
It's moments like these that allow you to breathe without anxiety. You don't even realize that today, you have completely forgotten about the fact that you're gonna move to Tokyo soon. You're glad that you have Miyaka and Raiden to distract you from that.
Dinner with your two upperclassmen was great. You talked about various stuff, though you notice that they didn't bring up Tobio anymore— they must have sensed that you weren't comfortable talking about him so they let it be. However, Miyaka did say that if ever you need help confessing to your best friend, she'd be glad to help. You thank her for her offer but you're not quite sure if you're even gonna go about doing it. You still have to be sure about what to do next before making a move.
You didn't fill up on yakiniku despite your stomach protesting because you promised Tobio you'd still come over for dinner at his house. Miyaka and Raiden didn't hold back, though. They ordered so many meat and side dishes that you had to try your best not to look so envious.
Once the three of you are done, you take a bus home. You plan on showering first before going to Tobio's house so you don't look so haggard, at least.
You see your Mom's car in the driveway once you arrive home. She's home early, you think to yourself. She usually goes home at 8 PM or later.
Your Mom pops out of the kitchen once she hears you're back home. She's bobbing a tea bag up and down her steaming cup while her face is covered in a seaweed mask that's part of her weekly skincare routine.
"How's that yakiniku place? Is it any good?"
You texted her a few hours ago that you'd get yakiniku with your club mates so she doesn't have to wait for you at dinner.
"A bit pricey but worth it, I guess. We should go there sometime, Mom."
"How about lunch on Sunday? We could go shopping at the mall after. What do you think?"
"Sounds good." You smile. There's a voice in your head that says she's only trying to compensate for the whole moving to Tokyo thing. Quite frankly, you're still mad at her about that, but you also know she only has your best interest at heart. You try to understand her position.
"I'm gonna go shower and go to Tobio's. He invited me for dinner." You say as you make your way to your room.
"Do you really have to go? You've already eaten and you were just at his house last night." She follows you until she's leaning against your room's doorframe.
"I could still eat. Besides, I think it's a special dinner since Tobio's team got through the preliminaries. He told me his mother was expecting me. I couldn't say no, could I?"
Your mother takes a sip from her tea. "Well, as long as he invited you and you're not imposing."
You don't respond after that. You're rummaging through your closet in search for specific articles of clothing you want to be wearing tonight.
"Hey, Mom? Have you seen my beige shirt? The long-sleeved one? Oh, no, wait— I forgot I haven't washed it yet."
You hear your Mom click her tongue. "It's in the laundry room. I added everything in your hamper to the load when I washed my coats last night. If I didn't, you wouldn't have anything to wear for this week. Sometimes I wonder what you would do without me."
The relief that courses through you is overwhelming. "Thanks, Mom! You're the best!"
You practically sprint to the laundry room to retrieve your shirt. Your Mom yells after you to take all your folded laundry to your room so you wouldn't have to return for them later. You come back to your room with a basket of your now clean laundry, the smell of vanilla fabric conditioner wafting through the room.
"Who's Kei?"
You cock your head to the side in confusion. "Kei?"
"There was a handkerchief in your hamper with the name Kei embroidered on it. It should be in there somewhere." She motions to the laundry basket. "Why do you have it in the first place?"
It takes you a couple of seconds to find said handkerchief. When Tsukishima gave it to you last night, you didn't know it was embroidered with his name— you can only assume that Kei is his first name from context. You're just realizing that you didn't ask him for his first name. You just knew him as Tsukishima.
"So, who's Kei and why do you have his handkerchief?" Your Mom repeats the question.
You tell her with a shrug that it's the boy who walked you home last night. You also tell her what happened in the café but deliberately omit the part about him giving you the handkerchief because you'd been crying, replacing it with a lie that you'd spilled water on yourself instead.
You examine the handkerchief for the first time since it was given to you. You didn't get to take a good look at it last night. The word Kei is embroidered in forest green thread at the bottom right corner. You wonder how you managed to miss it.
"I thought it was Tobio-kun who walked you home?"
"No, Mom. It was this other boy. He's Tobio's teammate, actually."
"I see. It was very dark. I just thought Tobio-kun grew a lot taller since I last saw him." She muses. "So, is this Kei boy a suitor?"
You bite back an incredulous laugh. "No way."
"A special friend, then?" You don't even know what she means by that.
"Definitely not."
You see your mother shrug from where she is leaning on your doorway. "Still, seems like he likes you enough to let you keep something that expensive."
You frown, confused. "Huh?"
"That's CLASSICS the Small Luxury." She points at the square fabric you're holding. "That's, what, ¥2000 a piece, give or take? The embroidery definitely cost extra, too. He probably paid around ¥3000 for that one."
"Who would pay ¥3000 for one friggin' handkerchief?" You almost shriek in disbelief.
"It's really good quality, you know. It's probably 100% cotton, too. Back when I was in med school, these handkerchiefs were all the hype. All my girl friends had one. I didn't. I was broke and could only afford those 6-in-1 packs you could buy at convenience stores." She laughed at the memory, her hand covering her mouth ever so daintily.
Tsukishima's voice rings inside your head.
"A single slice of cake is nowhere near the value of that handkerchief."
You just thought he was either lying or exaggerating.
Your phone buzzes on your bedside table, taking your attention away from the conversation. You catch a glimpse of Tobio's consecutive texts on the notification bar.
tobio:
you still coming?
tobio:
mom made tiramisu for dessert
You fold the handkerchief neatly and set it inside your drawer. The brand name CLASSICS The Small Luxury is printed right below the embroidery, another detail you've missed. You're definitely gonna be returning it to Tsukishima. As much as you appreciate him letting you keep it, you can't, not when it's worth ¥3000 with his own name embroidered on it.
How you're gonna return it to him, you still have no idea. You'll have to think of ways to get in contact with him again. You could very easily ask Tobio to give Tsukishima the handkerchief the next time they see each other, but it would be quite rude and offending to the owner if you didn't return the handkerchief personally. It's the least you can do after he let you use it when you needed it last night.
You make a mental note to ask Tobio for Tsukishima's number or home address. You'll worry about it later. For now, you really must hurry up if you still want to catch dinner at the Kageyama's.
You shower and get changed. Before leaving the house, you inform your mother that you'd be home before 9 PM— you're feeling quite guilty for storming out last night and getting home late so you give yourself an early curfew tonight as compensation. Your mother is still a little worried that you're taking advantage of the Kageyamas' hospitality, but you reassure her that it's fine and Tobio's family won't call child services on her.
You leave the house after Tobio sends you another text saying that his mother asks what time you'll be arriving. There's extra spring in your steps as you take the familiar route to his house— probably because you're excited to eat Mrs. Kageyama's cooking, or perhaps it's because you're giddy at the prospect of having dinner again with the boy you have a hopeless crush on. It's probably one or the other. It also could be both.
Tobio's Mom is preparing a feast, judging by the mingling scents of various dishes wafting throughout the whole house. She went overboard this time that you kind of regret having yakiniku earlier.
You offer to help Tobio's Mom and Miwa in the kitchen but the two women just wave you off, telling you to go relax and have some refreshments that they've prepared in the living room. Tobio's Dad is sitting on the couch, watching a baseball game on the television. He's so captivated by the game, shouting at the screen whenever his favorite team scores, that you feel like it would be rude if you sat down beside him and ruined the moment.
Tobio opens and closes his mouth, thinking of how to tell his father to scoot on the sofa. Even Tobio himself is scared of his father, it seems, because he remains quiet and accepts defeat instead.
"Let's go to my room?" He says beside you once he sees that his father won't be making room in the sofa for the two of you any time soon.
You follow him up the stairs and into his room which you've been in countless times before. Unlike those other times, however, you're now feeling a bit queasy as you enter. You hate the fact that going into your best friend's room is putting non-innocent thoughts inside your head now, something that you didn't worry about a year ago.
Tobio plops down on his swivel chair as you make your way to his bed. The door is left wide open— you don't have to be told to do that, it's just courtesy and muscle memory from all the times Tobio has invited you to his room.
You unceremoniously collapse onto his bed, taking last month's issue of Shonen Jump from his bedside table with you. You don't particularly enjoy the way your stomach does a back flip when you smell a faint trace of his cologne on his bed sheets. You try to ignore it by flipping through the Jump's pages, trying to find any new manga to distract yourself with.
Tobio must have seen you so engrossed in reading that he felt like reading too. You hear the rustling of paper as he takes out an issue of Volleyball Monthly from his bookshelf. You immediately recognize it as the issue where you were featured in.
A sly smirk appears on your lips. "Turn to page 17. You'll see a very pretty girl there."
Kageyama already knows what you're talking about before he even turned to said page. "What girl? I only see a hobgoblin holding a volleyball."
"Jerk." You chuck a throw pillow at him which would have landed square on his face had he not ducked to avoid it.
There was a couple of minutes of silence disturbed only by you turning pages and Tobio playing on his Nintendo DSi— he quickly grew bored of looking at Volleyball Monthly and fished the console from his drawer. His attention span is comparable to that of a chicken, you think to yourself as you watch him play with the handheld device. Compared to when he was reading the magazine, Tobio looks a lot more entertained playing Bomberman Blitz.
"We've improved, haven't we? My team, I mean." Tobio suddenly says while his brows are furrowed in concentration at his game.
You look up from what you're reading. "Yep, it's scary how much you guys evolved. I should probably warn our volleyball team about you. I'm sure Ushijima-san would want to know what kind of techniques you have under your sleeves."
He gives you a glare that could have killed a weak-willed soul.
"I'm kidding! They'll just have to find out how much stronger you've gotten when they face you in the finals."
Tobio snorts. "We'll beat them for sure."
"You always say that but what's your plan, though? Do you have any tactics to beat Ushijima-san?" You inquire curiously.
Tobio presses pause on his Nintendo, cradling his chin in thought. "Well, none of us can beat him one-on-one so we'll have to work on our three-man block more, but aside from that, our floor defense is pretty solid. Nishinoya-san and Daichi-san could definitely receive some of his spikes, so I'm not too worried about that."
"You really don't think anyone on your team could block him?" You ask and he just shakes his head. "Don't you have faith in your middle blockers?"
He stares at you as if you've just asked a very stupid question. "Have you seen our middle blockers?"
"Hinata does good when it comes to offense but he's absolutely worthless when it comes to blocking and receiving. He's fast and jumps high but that's about all he can do.
And then there's Tsukishima"
Your attention is snatched when you hear the blonde's name. "What about him?"
"He just... doesn't try." Tobio simply says. "He has the height for it, he has good game sense too, but he gives up way too easily. If only he's pushing himself a little harder, we could strengthen our defense a lot more."
"I see."
"Don't even get me started on his rotten attitude. He's a sarcastic dick, thinking he's smarter than everyone. You would hate him too if you'd met him."
You almost tell Tobio that you have indeed met him, but judging by the way his face contorts in disgust when talking about the blonde, it won't be such a good idea.
You've seen Tsukishima play today. You're not saying that Tobio is wrong, but you definitely do not see the blonde 'giving up way too easily'. On their match against Kakugawa, Tsukishima looked focused and motivated— granted, he didn't look as enthusiastic as Tobio or Hinata, but he still seemed like he was enjoying the game. Though, you can't disagree about what Tobio said about Tsukishima being a sarcastic dick— that one was definitely correct.
But maybe, Tobio is not entirely wrong. He obviously knows Tsukishima better than you. The only instance you ever see him play is during official matches. You have no idea how he is like during practice.
"Hey, Tobio? When's your training gonna start again?"
"We have one on Saturday. Why do you ask?"
"Can I come and watch?" You try to make your shrug look as casually as it can when in reality, you're starting to get nervous about your bold request.
Tobio thinks about it for a second before nodding. "Sure."
You have no idea what your end game is when you asked to come to their practice.
You do know one thing, though— you're gonna see Tsukishima again and it's gonna be the best opportunity to give him back his handkerchief.
The Nintendo DSi narrowly misses your thigh as Tobio chucks it on the bed. A second later, the impact of his body weight hitting the mattress causes you to almost fall off. He's spread-eagled on the bed with his face turned up to the ceiling. He's so close that you can feel the warmth of his body on your own skin.
"Wanna have a go?" He jabs the Nintendo blindingly at you, his eyes still fixated upward.
You take the console out of his hand and starts a new game. It's harder than you remember it being, or maybe you just haven't played it in a while. This old Nintendo model's buttons are difficult to press, you tell yourself as the character dies yet again— not your fault but the console's. You restart only to die at the same spot.
"You're horrible at this." Tobio snickers. You've been glued to the game for the past minute that you didn't notice that he has wiggled closer to you so he could watch you play.
You turn your head to look at him with the most hateful glare you could muster. You hope that he doesn't detect the look of yearning in your eyes because God knows there is. His dark blue eyes are just so beautiful, you could drown in them. The shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the soft dusting of color on his cheeks— they all make him unbelievably gorgeous that it's a miracle you haven't melted on the spot considering his face is only a few inches away from yours.
You feel like you've mastered by now the look of indifference whenever he's around, and yet you wonder if Tobio would have guessed by now that you have a crush on him if only he has the perception of an average teenage boy. Surely, you're not hiding it that well. Miyaka and Raiden did say it was very obvious.
"You died again." He points out as the DSi emits the telltale sound that signals the gruesome death of the pixelated bomber.
You all but shove the device to his chest in frustration. You feel the vibration of his laughter as your hand makes contact with him as you feel your heart quicken instantaneously.
"Why do you want to watch our practice?" He asks after he has turned off the Nintendo and tossed it haphazardly somewhere on the mattress.
You shrug. "I wanna see you train."
Not exactly a lie but not the full truth either. The real reason you're going to their training is to give Tsukishima the handkerchief. Watching your crush practice volleyball is just a bonus.
"Why? Do you miss me that much when I'm not around?"
It's meant to be a joke. You're not meant to take it seriously. He's smirking in a way that tells you he's just having a laugh... but you're only human, and humans can only hide their feelings so much before some of it leaks.
"Yes, I do."
Tobio laughs.
You frown at this reaction.
"Stop it. That's gross." His shoulders shake as he tries to suppress his laughter. You blink back stupidly, both in surprise and mind-numbing hurt. No way he just said 'that's gross'.
He turns on the Nintendo again, unaware of your ragged breathing and how clammy your hands have gotten. You force out a laugh that you hope mirrors his.
For the rest of the night, none of your smiles or laughter seem to be genuine. Not even during dinner which is exquisite with all of Tobio's favorite food crammed in the too-small dining table. Not even as you say your good night to them by the front door as you prepare for your leave. Not even as you refuse Tobio when he offered to walk you home, right after his mother has chastised him into being a 'proper gentleman'.
This must be what a heartbreak feels like, you muse as you lay awake on your bed.
It hurts, and what's worse — it's because of Tobio.
I haven't updated in so long and felt guilty that's why this chapter has 11k words omg sorry not sorry
tag list: @sktvienna @thechaosoflonging @kenryug
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