Historians: Achilles and Patroclus were obviously just friends. You have to understand this from the historical point of view, back then, this is how they showed their love [as friends] to each other.
*meanwhile in ancient greece*
Plato*smacking another historian in the head with a chair*: ACHILLES *SMACK* WAS *SMACK SMACK* A *SMACK* BOTTOM *SMACK*
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*Achilles standing drunk on a bar stand trying to say something*
Patroclus: *Pulling his leg* STOP! You shouldn't!
Achilles: I JUST WANTED YOU ALL LOSERS TO KNOW I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE ENTIRE FCKING UNIVERSE AND HE ALSO HAS PERFECT COLLAR BONES AND A BIG DIC-
*pat drags him down*
*Odysseus, Menelaus, Ajax sighs in the crowd*
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Promise to Patroclus
my love, i still remember the day
clear as the river that flowed.
you traced my back with a feather's touch
and that's all the world was owed.
it was the beginning of the end,
how could I have ever known?
we bit into figs bursting with ripeness
naivety and youth, you and me alone.
you looked at me with your bright eyes,
and I swear I felt my head sway.
i prayed then, my love, first time in forever,
but even the gods looked away.
there's nothing i wouldn't give again,
to kiss your fluttering eyelid.
I was vain, my dear - arrogant and proud,
I did not see what you already did.
you wept and prayed and begged and warned, but I did not, could not heed.
you, my silly, foolish, beautiful boy,
you were more god than i could ever be.
and as i put on my armour,
your scent still occupies my veins.
the white lilies you once braided in my hair, now red with your sacrifice stains.
what happened next, i couldn't say,
patroclus do you know?
as men crumbled beneath my feet;
my naked heel craved the arrow.
and when it came, i am not ashamed
to admit: a relieved tear fled my eye.
it had been far too long, my love,
since my lip had breathed your sigh.
you're the only part of me
that's mortal and without sin.
what's achilles without his lover?
a golden lyre with no string.
death trembles to keep us apart,
my promise comes to rest:
I'd follow you, my love, my reason,
from one lifetime to the next.
r.s
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Achilles, drunk, strumming his lyre: I love you, bitch
Patroclus, entirely mortified: …oh gods
Achilles: I ain’t never gonna stop loving you…bitch
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Okay so here me out…
In ancient Greece, hospitality was one of the most important things right? In the Iliad Glaukos and Diomedes, who were enemies, found out that their ancestors were so called ‘guest friends.’ Which means that the one opened his doors for the other in need. So back to Glaukos and Diomedes, they switched armor and promised that they wouldn’t kill each other. Because killing your guest friend was a huge crime in ancient Greece, even in time of war. After Achilles killed Hector in the Trojan war, King Priam comes to visit Achilles to ask Hectors body back, Achilles didn’t kill Priam and welcomed him, according to the law of hospitality. After Achilles died, and his son Neoptolemus/Pyrrhus arrived at the battlefield and Troy was taken. Pyrrhus killed King Priam next to Zeus’ altar. So hear me out, this was a crime, because Achilles and Priam were ‘guest friends.’ This makes the murder of Priam a crime, even in times of war.
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