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thedeadthree · 2 years

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7, 8, and 36 for any ship that sparks joy :) (7- What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could? 8- What do the like best about their partner? 36- What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?)

HII DEAR! i hope that ur doing well! ty so much for the ask ur a dear! for this i went with my defiled hearts fools in love beloveds because these are such fitting ones to answer for them! and also bc they’re the ones occupying the headspace the most as of late hehe!

send me a ship number and i'll tell you

7. what annoys them the most about their partner? would they change it if they could?

that he’s the most irritatingly gorgeous person shes ever met and to top it off he’s her archenemies and it INFURIATES her to no end sajknsak.. also how he COULD have informed the legate (his father) of her identity, he COULD have k*lled her himself especially with knowing that is what she’ll do to him at the first chance! he’s had every chance under the sun to finish her off once and for all so... why in the twins hasn’t he? and to add salt to the wound! as has she when it comes to the opportunities she's had to k*ll him! she's been alone with him in his office.. she could have then. she was DANCING with him at Samhain and she could have then. so what has been stopping her? she knows but she’ll take to her grave before then jasnxaks.

now if they could change things if they could? oh yea. on her end she wishes she could stuff her feelings in a box, lock that box, light it on fire and end him like she CAME there to do so she can go home.. right? in more selfish reasons feelings be damned though, hati would wish the circumstances were different. that she WASNT there with the intention of k*lling him, that she could fall for him and he for her in the more organic sort like two people meet at a gathering and its love at first sight? but alas, the twins have a cruel way of setting to people who by destiny, were meant for one another i guess!

8. what do they like best about their partner?

shes really....... REALLY pretty and the gods took their time on him ajsbjha OKAY. so i think that’s shes so fascinating to him.. that shes so alluring not just in appearance but who she is, her ambition, her wit, her ability to keep up with him in that and return his with her own that bests his by a long shot? that she intrigues him is what he finds most alluring about her? and for her, it’s that they’re so alike? that he is more than what she took at face value when she met him? that he’s attentive to her, it seems he knows her better than she knows herself..? now how in blazes do these two have so many things they like about the other when she’s so driven to despise him (she SAYS) is anyones guess! its bc they’re soulmates asjkn.

36. what’s their greatest strength as a couple? their weakness?

the two are both INTIMIDATING which would make them absolutely a threat on any battlefield or diplomatic setting and i think that’s so lovely for them..! hati is a triple scorpio (scorpio sun, moon and rising! shes a scorpio as it gets!) and given his status, title, the scar, this is definitely an advantage hehe! optio wants to give hati a hard time? he cant do that anymore! some noblewoman of rome wants to make flirtations? by that death glare of hers and WICKED grudge streak they won’t! its perfect! another strength of theirs more so in the romance once they get there!

and as for their weaknesses, especially at the moment this is the most apparent, is the constant back and forward between hating the other (this is more hati than marcus though) and longing? the fact the two have such a CONSTANT battle within themselves between duty, that he k*lled her father, and that they’re both infuriatingly infatuated with each other this sort of thing is what is hindering them the most as a couple?

#⌛️: pd #plasticdodecagon #tried something new and made my own banners for the first time with their own coloring! :)#a LOT of this is more of what things will be once these two get their ACT together and fall in love jasnxjkas but! I LOVE THEMM #this is once more of yours truly PLEADING and encouraging (but mostly pleading aksnma for all of u to read defiled hearts! <3)#leg.asks #leg.txt #leg.ocs #oc: caitrìona mac cathmhaoil #x: caitrìona x marcus #x: veni vidi cedidi ad vos #these darn beloveds poking my brain at any chance they get ashjsbd the WAY they are occupying the old brain atm!#its also a bit delving into spoilers for the new update and hc territory but from that last-ish scene? maybe he’s not so okay he ->#k*lled her father? like reading that I was like IM THINKING IM SEEING and THAT SCENE HASNT LEFT MY MIND SINCE..?#was it a moment he’s coming to regret? or is it not IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT UPDATE IM GONNA LOSEE IT :’)#but yea! they’re my loves! they’re occupying the brain and ordering luxury room service! its a whole thing! they make me crazy!#OH and the latin translation for their ship tag is ‘I came I saw I fell for you I believe!#its ‘I came I saw I surrendered to you’ but yea! <3 #nobody TALK to me about what she would have wanted had the circumstances have been different I AM FINEE :’)

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spearcast · 2 years

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#vent in tags #to delete later #vent ahead be warned its not lretty #*pretty #⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️#truly maybe it would be better if i disappeared off of the face of the planet #like i was hysterical in the shower i was crying and then laughing at myself for being so stupid and then crying again #today was a good day i dont!!!!!!!!! i dont understand!!!!!!!!!#i truly feel like someone pulled out all 3 pins keeping my brain together and functioning and now its just. a mess #like i just want it to be quiet #while also being petrified that mistepping is going to make people afraid of me #is going to make people Realize that i am so fucked up beyond any kind of repair and its scary and im scary and.#i dont want to be alone again but i dont want to hurt anyone else by being like this and #id rather push people away drastically than be left behind so.#i dont know what to do i want to die and run away and sleep and pretend im someone else and die and die and die #fuck #i keep crying why hasnt the numbness set in yet i want to be a robot now please #flip the brain switch from horrific overemotional suicidal monster to cold polite arms length robot #if u read this im sorry also disordered eating mention ahead #im not gonna eat this whole weekend #i cant i fucking cant im going to feel nauseous evrry time i try i just know it

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laura1633 · 28 days

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laura laura laura....imagine masculine charles. like truly masc charles. icant stop thinking abt him like manhandling max around bc hes just stronger. like max is big/broad with his huge hands and thick thighs but charles is can just asfhdkj move him however he wants

this might be a side effect of the constant and neverending feminization of charles ive seen recently but omg its hasnt left my brain in weeks

Anon you know I absolutely love this because I’m a huge fan of strong, dominant Charles. I mean yes he looks really pretty (like in the pic below) but also look at those arms!!! Those are arms that could most definitely manhandle Max and throw him around the bedroom and in to various positions. It’s not like Max is going to be resisting either!

I am sure this type of Charles will be appearing in some of my next few stories.

#anon asks

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jazz-bazz · 3 months

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Hey Bex!

Any favorite ghoul head cannons you have or ones someone else wrote?

🦦 - I mean obviously it's me 🤣

first of all, this hasnt left my mind but demigirl cumulus by yami @rainyhoursinhell , mindblowing and truly a lightbulb moment, and ofc tattoo artist rain has their own section in my brain

and bcs im in exam seasons now, i keep coming back to nuclear scientist dewdrop thoughts… wish he could teach me these things bout atoms and shit 🥴

imps! sprites! by @thelampisaflashlight and @mac-and-thefox respectively, so cuteeee, i am very much a sucker for tiny cute things

anytime @littlemoon-beam sprinkle in something non english always scratches my brain

kitty dew and otter rain and puppy mountain and friends, ALSO FENNEC FOX and the floof (have i mentioned i love floof) by @sphylor

and fuck ive spent most of the time writing this draft scrolling my blog but i forgot who wrote the ballet au rain and dew i am sorry but i love it 🖤

and i am curious about midwest emos too!

and the victorian vampire au @webbyghoul and i keep talking about, my darling feral murder ghouls 🥰

pls tell me if you dont wanna be tagged

#mina #ghost hc

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avelera · 1 year

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(given sanctuary anon back again) ((though ive just started "come live with me" too (ITS GREAT!! i dont trust whatever desire is up to AT ALL!) so what does that make me?? dual wielding anon?)) Anyhow i just read the GS new chapter! have i mentioned in any of these asks that "abandonment issues" is like my ultimate kryptonite?? and 1689 hob is in such a vulnerable spot for it too!!! like take any other time stamp (even post 1889) and hob WOULD find it in him to stand up and keep moving (even though it fucking hurts) but 1689 really is when he's low enough to straight up get on his knees and cry and beg and hhhhhhh. like on one hand "my poor boy" on the other "Oh delicious scene, high stakes emotions!" Its so good!

Also about your last reply, i dont think dream is changing too fast at all. Youve written this like he's just had a sudden realization that he's been (just a lil) shitty and now he's noticing the signs all over (lucienne flinching just breaks my heart) and has made a decision to change. But like you said, right now he hasnt actually fundamentally changed (yet)! We went over this in my psych class once (i dont thinks asks have a word limit anymore but ill still spare you the full rant) but essentially theres a big distinction between consciously MAKING yourself change your behavior, and actually having the change settle in to be natural and thoughtless. And its so clear in your fic that being kind is still such a stilted thing for dream and that he constantly has to fight for it and i love that!

AAAAH, Giving Sanctuary anon!!

1 ) Oof, yeah, Hob is definitely at a low enough place, without pride, to beg. That being said, there is an added terror to the moment for Hob in 1689 because unlike every other time Dream has taken off on him, Hob's not in London. He's on the other side of Europe, on a Greek island which is, admittedly, gorgeous but he has no money and (hasn't been mentioned yet but it's in my head) he speaks some sailor pidgin/lingua franca which includes Greek and Italian elements but he absolutely would only have the shirt on his back if Dream left him there for any substantial amount of time.

Hob has no way of making the expensive voyage back to England (Naxos is currently controlled by the Venetians in 1689) and no easy way to make a living or even communicate with most people in Naxos. As someone who has so recently like, earlier that week experienced the depths of privation and starvation, and was only just begun to get his feet back under him and maybe, maybe have a glimmer of near-term (as opposed to only long term) hope that things will get better for him, there are some very real, very practical reasons like starving again why Hob is ready to drop to his knees and hysterically beg Dream not to make some grand dramatic gesture like storm off in a huff on him for however long is appropriate for a literally ageless being to get his temper under control again. And Hob's not wrong to fear that it could be days or longer before Dream decides he should maybe go retrieve Hob from wherever he left him.

Just... yeah, Hob is absolutely melting down because he loves Dream and he has PTSD around being abandoned by Dream and having no one else in his life who really, truly knows him for who he is ever since 1389, and truly no one else who gives a shit about him in decades but Giving Sanctuary is fairly grounded in class and wealth concerns on Hob's end, at least I'm constantly thinking about those things when writing Hob's POV and constantly thinking about how Dream doesn't understand those things when writing their interactions.

Being abandoned without a cent to his name in a strange place was neck and neck with "pissing off and losing the person I love because of my big stupid mouth" in Hob's brain as a legitimate reason to have a full blown panic attack while running after Dream.

2 ) I'm really glad to hear you don't find Dream too unrealistic in his growth! Your psych class comment is a very astute observation and definitely something that's in my mind while Dream has begun to thaw out and grow, he still has bad habits he has to consciously break and doesn't always succeed, especially when miserable and on edge on the island where he had to retrieve his own son's dismembered body with his bare hands and bury it, only to be blamed by his ex wife and the mother of his child as the reason this horrific event happened in the first place. This is really the heart of darkness for Dream, the root of his depression began on this island. But he is working on being better, at least to the people who matter most to him.

Thank you I love these chances to talk about the fic!

#1689 fic #giving sanctuary

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ironvaliance · 2 months

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disclaimer about my liveblog/note taking & a general quick review of some of my opinions.

under a cut for spoilers / length. i'll try and make sure that my posts after the first two - which are up to 10 minutes into the movie - have a cut to them so that anyone who hasnt watched tales of arcadia can have a chance to view the three series first. please do. it's done so much for my brain chemicals.

so i've watched trollhunters: rise of the titans once through. i know this movie is going to hurt watching it. i personally feel like a lot of how the movie runs does jim a disservice. i felt like he'd been pushed aside in wizards a bit too much. yes, wizards is douxie's series for us to get to know him, as well as flesh out some of the other characters we meet in trollhunters' endgame like morgana, merlin & douxie himself and add some new characters. it's relatively successful in my opinion, in keeping up with how the other two series of tales of arcadia feels.

i started really writing fic and being active in this fandom under starconsequence/trolljim on ao3 & formerly tomearts - now teacuptomes! i run a jim rp blog @trollamulet & i have a few others, but jim has been my main squeeze putty boy since my partner just. put trollhunters on while i was home and had me watch it, since she heard that 3below was releasing season one. she thought she should finish it up, and i was introduced to jim lake jr fairly early in. it was after they got gunmar's birthstone from gato's keep, and blinky was (temporarily) human.

this is to say - most of these are just so i have an archive of fairly detailed play-by-play notes of what entails in this movie for quick reference to comply with some canon. however, i treat tales of arcadia after 3below a bit like a sandbox; one with some of the staff also building castles with us at the time.

the movie feels a lot like a heartbreak, like i'm jim and i've lost my amulet. jim remained in my heart, deep within. watching. waiting for me to rediscover the spark i have for the series. he truly is someone that burns brightest in darkest times. however, getting back into toa, i'm attacking my fanfic 'i've got to find my soul all before i sleep', rewriting it since it's a post-wizards, pre-rott canon divergent thing that i wrote, starting directly after finishing wizards.

if you want - go read the original version. i'm keeping it up on ao3 as is, however i will be posting a newer version & finishing the planned chapter 3 i left it with for so long that my interpretation and writing style has slightly changed.

so, yeah. these posts serve as a half-liveblog, half-note archive. part troll part hunter kind of experience. maybe i might watch the movie again to transcribe it - some of the subtitles on netflix are missing words here and there. nothing much, you don't miss too many things, but i personally get irritated if what i'm reading and what i hear are different. thanks adhd.

i'll probably also archive this experience on my nc blog too. please look forward to it!

and if you dared to venture here, and you havent watched trollhunters, please take the time to do so. i joke it's required watching if you want to be my friend, but i would never force you to view it to talk with me. i appreciate if you do.

#i.caran #rott liveblog.

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loveinstreams · 3 years

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The Carnivorous Lamb - Agustín Gómez-Arcos // Ailleurs - Félix Leclerc // I’ve got a match - They Might Be Giants // Mikey and Nicky (1976) Elaine May

#truly im. going through it #yes hello this movie still hasnt left my brain #its about nicky still loving him despite knowing mikey is probably gonna betray him....#elaine may #mikey and nicky #1976 #the carnivorous lamb #agustin gomez-arcos #félix leclerc #i've got a match #they might be giants #peter falk #john cassavetes #web weaving #poetry collage

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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Nat😫😫😫 I'm just reading your naoya posts and I cant😫😫😫 why do I love this arrogant man😫 is it possible to write something of a connected fic to your arrangement story about how he feels jealous over a similarly docile reader (doesnt have to be connected if you dont want tho!!). like he hears about how the reader has been getting marriage proposals from other men since naoya hasnt given an affirmative to your family,,,, and now the reader is forced to consider other candidates (although she still cant atop thinking about our favourite princely asshole) and naoya cant handle this thought lol he deserves to know what angst and the pain of yearning tastes like😌 I hope this wasn't too confusing aaaa😭😭 I love your writing, and im glad youre in this jjk brain rot too🤧

patience - naoya x fem!reader (1.5k)

arrangement // patience // my jjk masterlist

warnings: naoya remains an asshole. submissive reader, arranged marriages, mentions of murder, talk of adultery. pining/angst. not sfw, minors dni!

naoya hates that he can’t stop thinking about you.

Naoya hates that he can’t stop thinking about you.

Oh, he’d meant it when he’d spat ‘pathetic’ and ‘useless’ and ‘worthless’ at you – your bloodline was unimpressive, your lack of cursed technique tragic, your clan elders absolutely idiotic for sending a nobody like you to tempt him. But . . . something about the look in your eyes, the meek little bow of your head, the way you’d listened to every one of his orders with a soft little gasp and a desire to follow them to the latter . . .

He hasn’t told your family that he’s not interested in you, but word gets around the jujutsu community when someone is looking for a spouse. After all, they’re determined to retain blood purity, to keep techniques in the bloodline – your family soon hear that Naoya is still considering all of his options. That other pretty young daughters from other bloodlines have been to see him.

(Naoya rejects them all, for frivolous reasons that he doesn’t want to admit are frivolous. He hadn’t liked the look in that one’s eyes. He didn’t want his children to inherit the colour of that one’s hair. That one had walked two steps behind him, not three--).

You haunt his thoughts. You and the bow of your head, the bite of your lip, the way you’d looked with tears brimming in your eyes. The suggestive curve of you beneath your kimono.

Ugh.

He hears, too, that your family have been exploring their other options. They’d seemed thrilled, at first, that Naoya hadn’t utterly swept you off the table – but six months have passed, and they want their daughter married and out of the house and fulfilling her duties.

He hears about your marriage proposals through that same grapevine. He hears that other men say you are pretty and quiet and obedient, that you will make a fine wife, that you will listen to commands and give soft smiles and raise children like you ought to--

And once, he smashes a glass from gripping it too hard as some nobody in the Kamo clan mentions that he’s going to ask your family for your hand in marriage.

You say no. He hears, too, that your elders are growing frustrated with your dismissals of proposals. They have left behind the thought of marrying you into the Zenin clan, but clearly you’re still clinging to the idea that Naoya might want you despite what he’d said.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, when he wraps his fist around his cock and pumps it and thinks about your look of surprise as his come splatters across your face.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, when he compares a young lady sent to entice him with you. When she looks him in the eye and he thinks that you would never do that, that you would keep your head bowed, that you’d be deferential as he needs you to be.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, as a servant cleans up the shards of glass that he shatters and he asks the Kamo clan member if perhaps he would like to spar, and he hits him just a little bit too hard so he ends up wheezing and doubled over on the training mats as Naoya stalks out of the room.

It’s not his style to pine. He has the pick of every eligible young lady in jujutsu society; he should not be hung up on such a worthless, pathetic little thing.

He hears of another proposal. This one, apparently, hasn’t been rejected straight-out – this one, you seem to be considering. Other members of the Zenin clan don’t understand why his jaw sets at the news.

“You didn’t want her, did you?” He asks. “You didn’t seem keen after the meeting.”

One of his other distant cousins, an upstart too big for his boots, grins.

“That was before she was hot property, though,” he leers at Naoya. “Our golden boy doesn’t like the idea of people coveting his trash--”

Naoya has struck him before he can think and stalked out of that room, too. Something about you has truly opened the can of worms that is Naoya’s violence, and he refuses to admit to himself that it’s because he wants you.

It’s not because you’re hot property – though, certainly, the way other men talk and laugh about you and the knowledge that you’re wanted serves to set a fire within him. It’s because he can’t stop thinking about you.

He tries courtesans. He chooses pretty, well-mannered ones who look a little like you – but their eyes when they look at him are glassy. They’re not the same as yours, brimming with life and want and confusion at the position you’ve found yourself in and the way your body responds to Naoya.

He doesn’t admit to his mistakes. He doesn’t think ‘I should have accepted the proposal, I should have joined the clans’ – instead, he thinks ‘I should have fucked them then and there. I should have made them scream my name until their reputation was ruined and everybody knew they came apart on my cock. It’s their fault that I can’t get them out of my brain.’

He walks with fists and teeth clenched and snaps at every servant who dare looks his way. Naoya has always been unpleasant, but he’s downright impossible with his spine in knots and his eyes narrowed.

He’s going to have to do it. He’s going to have to contact your family, ask for another audience, if only to get your fucking face out of his mind--

He’s not expecting to come across you before he’s even made the call, standing in one of the gardens of the Zenin estate. You’re wearing the same kimono you had first visited him in, and he hates that the sight of it makes a throb low in his belly as he remembers seeing it crumpled on his bedroom floor. He swallows as he stalks towards you and you turn, your pretty eyes widening – he sees the flash of memory, the flash of desire. He wonders if anybody would dare speak to him if he took you right here, in the garden--

An older man opens a door behind you.

Naoya recognises him only vaguely. The Zenin estate is swarming with various, less important Zenins; this one’s a great-uncle, perhaps? Or a cousin thrice removed? He’s someone unimportant in the grand scheme of things, save for the way that he walks up to you and wraps an arm around your waist.

“Ah,” the man with his hands on Naoya’s property says. “I see you’ve met my betrothed.”

His heart stops cold. He’s nobody. Unimportant. Nothing.

He’d called you the same thing; an ‘act of charity’. So why does the sight of an arm around you attached to a man too old and not powerful enough to be a threat make Naoya feel like he’s chewing rocks? Naoya manages to spit out a;

“Congratulations.”

“Yes,” the old man (great cousin? Naoya doesn’t make a habit to remember people he can’t use later on) says, pulling you closer, groping at your hip through the kimono as you keep a sedate, smile on your face without looking directly into Naoya’s eyes. “You’ll be seeing her around a lot. I hope she didn’t bother you.” A squeeze to your ass, this time, shameless. “Say hello to the future leader of the clan, sweetheart.”

(At least this man’s on Naoya’s side, he tries to console himself, but it doesn’t work.)

“H-hello, sir,” you say, and your voice is as tremulous as he remembers it. His cock stirs. He hates this.

“Sorry to bother you,” he inclines his head politely and tugs on your arm, pulling you away, leaving Naoya kissing his teeth and trying to not simply slit the man’s throat with the knife in his hakama and take you for his own.

What had the scum said? ‘You’ll be seeing her around a lot’. He supposes, then, that you’ll be sequestered in one of the other chambers in the Zenin estate--

A slow smile spreads across his face.

You wouldn’t say ‘no’ to your clan leader, would you? And . . . your future husband is old. Any Zenin is a Zenin, is it not? Even if a son is born with Naoya’s features, Naoya’s technique . . . nobody would say anything to him about it. And you’re in reach. Close to him.

He only needs to get you alone before the wedding to make sure he gets to take your maidenhead. He hates the thought of another man’s filthy hands on you, but accidents happen all of the time--

And then you’ll be a widow. You won’t be expected to marry for a while. And if you’ve already borne fruit and proved yourself – perhaps Naoya will even play the chivalrous leader and lower himself to take you for his own.

Yes. Just a little patience.

This is an arrangement he can get behind.

#naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya smut #naoya zenin smut #not sfw #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #writing #afab reader #fem pronouns #arranged marriage for ts #misogyny for ts #Anonymous

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dragoneggos · 2 years

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my top 10 books of 2021

i read 90 books this year, and wanted to do a quick little top 10 of the books i’ve read- in no real order, because i can’t decide things like that and i love them all

10. ACOTAR

i know how a lot of people (rightfully) feel about this series, but after the biggest slump ever last year, this series got me out of it. i loved the vibes of it, and it all makes me very nostalgic for lockdown this year, and january. (if i had to pick one from the series, i’d probably have to say A Court of Mist and Fury.)

9. Red White & Royal Blue

i OBSESSED over this book and i stg i still think about it everyday. i love love love the fanfic feel of it, and i love how silly and fluffy and lovely the whole thing is (still secretly hoping for a sequel)

8. Percy Jackson & the Olympians

i can’t believe i only read these THIS YEAR because I LOVED THEM. i did enjoy Heroes of Olympus as well, but for me the original series really does shine, with the first person pov and the slow burn and just everything (if i had to pick one, weirdly i think i’ll go with Sea of Monsters, which isn’t even the one i rated the highest, but the one i think has the best vibes.)

7. The Song of Achilles

everyone says it, but i still haven’t emotionally recovered from this book. i dont think i ever will

6. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

i read both this year (and maybe secretly preferred the second one slightly) and i adore them. they are top favourites for me, and the writing style is what truly sells it for me- fucking living art.

5. Defy the Night

for me, this was everything ya fantasy should be. a dark retelling, morally grey love interests, enemies-to-lovers/friends-to-lovers. i cannot stop recommending it and i am so hyped for the rest of the series.

4. Daughter of the Moon Goddess

this technically comes out next month but i was lucky enough to be sent an arc on netgalley and god it hasnt left my brain since. i dont think i can sum up in words how truly gorgeous this book is, i can only urge you please to read it, as i did not regret one single moment of it.

3. Clarice Bean: Think Like an Elf

this is a bit of a silly one, but this series shaped me growing up, and i’m eternally grateful lauren child decided to bring it back this year for the best nostalgia kick ever.

2. The Foxhole Court

specifically, The Raven King. when i tell you this is the only thought in my head since october i am not even exaggerating. no thoughts, head exy. i have read so much aftg fic pls

1. Any Way the Wind Blows

obviously. this was always gonna be my number one. literally surpassed all my expectations and then some. thank you thank you thank you rainbow

#books #happy new year #carry on #aftg

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 4 years

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My top 7 Arsenal wfc players, aka the whole team because they're all my children and you can't chose between children

(And they're not many more than seven anyways)

Beth Mead: a wizard on the wong and the original crot queen. She may not have had the best season this year but shes still managed to play an important part in the team and has conquered many hearts in the process. If she has to retire early because of all the hits she receives during matches then she's got a bright future ahead of her as a cringey tiktok star or, if that fails, a career as a HSM impersonator on cruise ships

Cailtin Foord: there were mixed opinions when she was first announced as a new signing, but she almost immediately became one more member of the arsenal family amongst players and supporters alike. Before Covid struck shes already stamped her mark on the club with her skill and made her way onto the scoresheet, and now shes also made her way into Lia's house and infected the squad with the chaotic tiktok bug

Dan Carter: literally a gooner through and through having played for arsenal for practically all her life and pulling through in the big moments. Heartbreak and injury have been her middle names for over the past year having sustained two ACL injuries in 14 months. Even if she hasnt had as much of an impact on the pitch shes still been a large part of injury fc, with her and her diary always being a source of sarcasm and banter through it all.

Danielle Van De Donk: she probably described herself best when she said she was a feisty puppy who wants to ball. A woman who takes no prisoners during matches, opponents refs and the back of nets all fear her. Off the pitch though shes a real softie who radiates chaotic energy and yet has developed over the years into quite the leader (even if she still follows beth around on her tiktok adventures)

Jennifer Beattie: a friendly giant who quietly puts in all the work at the back, being an absolute unit as a last line of defense which was sorely missed during her injury. She came back from City because arsenal is home and that's beautiful. Talking about beautiful, her and Chloe. That's it, nothing more needs to be elaborated on. Pretty underrated although shes been getting more attention lately, she makes Kim company as the quiet Scottish duo who are lethal on the pitch

Jill Roord: despite her love hate relationship with goal posts, shes still made her mark at arsenal this year especially thanks to the fact that she has remained injury free this year (dont worry I touched wood when I typed that) and hopefully next year when shes settled in even more to the team and the league then she'll be able to show what she's truly made of. That is, if she lasts that long before the team kick her out for being too annoying. A woman who likes the two extremes, Frozen and Olaf as well as blonde tattooed players and famous thirst traps, she epitomises this soft yet hard personality dichotomy too

Jordan Nobbs: calm, composed, skillful, professional, dynamic and with the capacity of being able to astutely read the game, she's the personification of arsenal in a player. Having been at the club for a whole decade now she's practically lived it all and yet she continues on hungry for better and more. With the way she acts on the pitch you would never guess her forgetful, dorky, awkward nature off it. The woman with both the longest nando's order ever and the shortest attention span.

Katie McCabe: the Irish devil, the arsenal player founder of the tucked in shirt, member of the love to hate her girlfriend club. Her almost permanent move to left back this season has reaped bountiful benefits for her, a flexible player who always finds freedom on the wing shes proved herself as lethal as both a defender and a finisher. In Jordan's words, she talks about her biceps all the time, but so would I if I was that stacked. That being said, Ruesha always finds a way to beat her which is probably payback for her scoring against West Ham in the cup

Katrine Veje: another player lost to injury this season, although lockdown has treated her well (that makes one of us) and she's apparently fully fit again. Shes been sorely missed as a fullback for most of her season, her explosiveness and crosses in particular. As it is shes used her time to get in some spectacular photoshoots and just be and just be a source of clownery as a veteran at injury fc

Kim Little: as silent as Kim and as deadly as Kim should be new british sayings at this point. Quick on her feet with nerves of steel shes an impressive player to watch and is sometimes the glue in the midfield that keeps arsenal together. Her professionalism both on and off the pitch is as big as her dislike of cameras

Leah Williamson: the face of arsenal and not because of her looks, rather because of her insane talent and her embodiment of all things arsenal. From the moment she was born arsenal was pumping through her veins. One of the best up and coming CBs with long range passes for days she has been a crucial part of the arsenal squad for so long you forget she's just 23. What she lacks in some of her fashion choices she makes up in her bright and nerdy personality and her never ending stream of insults directed at Jordan

Leonie Maier: she recently said that she has never regretted the decision to move to arsenal and that has been because shes been able to shine in defense mainly alongside Leah, each playing off each other's strengths and developing herself as a player in a new league which is never an easy transition. Dont let her banana bread making trick you into thinking shes the mum in the group, shes proved herself to be as chaotic as the rest of them.

Lia Walti: arguably the best thing to come out of Switzerland since toblerone (much better than swiss cheese though). Like a lot of arsenal players, it sometimes seems like she would be better off playing in bubble wrap so she wouldnt sustain as many injuries. She's an intelligent player, one of the best qualities to have as a midfielder, with skill coming out of her ears and unfulfilled potential still to come. Her sunshine-like looks can be deceiving though because she leaves her brain cells in the changing room, as is becoming an arsenal tradition.

Lisa Evans: another alround players who, as a winger-cum-fullback, has thrived in her position this year. Her defensive position yet forward thinking mentality has proved deadly and when shes been given space to roam the wing too shes provided goals and assists a plenty. Her unpredictability on the pitch translates into her chaotic tendencies off it and a love for the arsenal anthem “we've got McCabe, Katie McCabe”. Sometimes she likes to pretend that she's a seal (exhibit A attached below)

Louise Quinn: it would be stereotypical to say that it's natural that shes so good at headers due to her height, but stereotypes exist for a reason and her tower-like build makes her a match for any Millie Bright in the heading department. She's a consistent, sturdy player who is great at starting up play from the back in many cases providing that vital first past (sometimes with her head because she's tall). Her pastimes include drinking a lot of coffee, understandable that she needs to refuel considering her height, and making fun on her teammates so that they dont make fun of her accent and her 183 cm length. Have I mentioned that she's tall?

Manuela Zinsberger: an extremely talented goalkeeper although sometimes people can excusably confuse her with being arsenal's eleventh outfield player. Another bayern recruit she's been key this season making some great saves and causing a few heart attacks in the process (west ham's penalty box free kick anyone?). She may look tough but she's just as much a clown as the rest of them

Pauline Peyraud-Magnin: the second proud member of the goalkeepers union. Shes not called the Hulk for no reason, racking up some great saves and skills with her feet even as Joe's second choice. What she lacks in command of the english language she makes up in utter chaos including hand gestures, shouting and eratic dancing, well as staging photoshoots at arsenal's gym.

Viki Schnaderbeck: shes been able to mostly avoid injury fc this season after a long stint there last year and her hardwork has paid off to establish her as a mainstay here as a skilled defensive player. Shes been loud and proud recently on social media and I am loudly and proudly here to support it

Vivianne Miedema: in Katie's own words “the goat”. Absolutely lethal as a center-forward, calm collected and composed in front of the goal, and also crucial in providing build up play and assists. She can both hold off opponents and reach an unmatched maximum speed with surprising ambidexterity and complete nonchalantness. The only player who is actively lazy and is able to get away with it. She puts up with a lot of chaos but is not unknown to add to it too, mainly providing subtle humor and sarcastic wit. Not a personality for the faint hearted.

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marwankenzarisgaylittleearring · 3 years

Note

and since im already here....... talk abt your dream marwan project (what would be abt who he would play in what setting should it take place.......) just go off buddy 😌

GOD. I HATE THAT YOU’VE ASKED ME THIS AS IF IT ISN’T ON THE BRAIN 24/77777 you already know it’s a jimmarwan collaboration we don’t even have to pretend it’d be anything different. but.

ok so i have several uh ideas if you will like there’s one where all the besties get together and do a cult movie (dont even remember why i was thinking about this but it was from a convo w av shetheyandromache bc everything i think of comes from talking to them. like generally.) but the one that truly lives inside myhead and myheart. is a footie movie. also from a convo w av

AND NOW I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT UR THINKING. “jim’s not going to do a footie movie because his bestie victor (i think) has alredy done that” and like you are RIGHT. you are right. but picture this: marwan, who was a footie player in his youth so he knows how to do it, has this fucking. tenderhearted childhood bestfriendship with Another Actor (in my head its achmed because why not) and it all revolves around footie like they meet because they live in the same building which means they hang out on the little fucking uhhh square or whatever in front of the building and they spend afternoons and summers kicking a ball around and they get pretty far! & then tragedy strikes bc marwans character (listen i also dont care who’s who i only think he’d be so good at the specific Emotions this character would require) is the star like he’s the one everyone thinks is gonna go far but he gets seriously injured so his bestie goes on to play and gets hired for some team or other & ends up moving up & away from marwans character

and like marwans character is so happy for him ofc ofc except footie has always been his escape and he was gonna make it big and move out of his tiny life & he was gonna take his bestie with him, except now bestie is GONE and hasnt taken HIM with him

but then the actual main story of the movie (well technically, in my head its told partially in flashbacks with the current timeline being during a footie match, so technically marwan wouldnt even play in it for more than ~a third) is a reunion of the besties but its on separate teams (gasp! drama!) & ok this is gay people btw. i feel like i didnt say that yet but its LIKE the sort of. gay movie thats like. technically theres still feelings but those feelings were never actually spoken out loud so they never got resolved even just personally for themselves. ykw i mean?

anyway they clash on the pitch, get sent off, big explosion of “i never got why u were mad at me for being successful i thought u would be happy for me but Sorry I Guess” “you think im mad bc you made it? im mad bc you LeFt mE”

and then they kiss happily ever after goodbye <3

#I SWEAR I ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE. SMARTER THOUGHTS ON THIS BUT LIKE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE EMOTION ANYWAY THANK UUU #overzonen

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miss-smrxtiee · 4 years

Note

“I’m sorry” from prompt list!!

-Truly Sorry-

prompt #13 “I’m sorry...”

Warnings: Swearing. TINY amount of angst

Summary: Eliana and Ethan get in a heated argument that causes uncertainty to grow in their relationships. How will Ethan make it up to her? - ONE SHOT

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long! I planned to have this posted 2 days ago but I’ve had some things come up in my personal life that caused me to hit the brakes a little on this but it’s finally here! Please like and reblog if you enjoy! It’s greatly appreciated💖 -S

Thank you @aylamwrites for the ask! YOU A QUEEN EVERYONE GO CHECK HER OUT! 💖🙌🏻 (Her OH fics are everything)

❤️-prompt list-❤️ (ask me!)

💖-full masterlist-💖

——————————-

Ethan’s POV

Guilt spreads through Ethan’s chest... Why am I so stupid! He looks across the room, his eyes settle on pictures of both him and his lover...

Why do I always push her away like that?

10 minutes before...

Eliana and Ethan were both in a very heated argument... I mean they have fights but this one was bad...

“You should calm down! It’s not a huge deal listen, I’m sorry Okay? You win.” Ethan says to a fuming Eliana.

“You’re not getting away like that! I’ve been trying so fucking hard these past few years to make you respect me! And one single thing changes that view and I have to listen to your lectures and all the stuff you hate about me! I’m sick of it!” Eliana rants. Ethan’s eyes widen. He can practically sees the pure anger rolling off of her.

Crap. She’s really getting mad about this... I need to calm her down so it doesn’t go overboard.

“E... I’m really sorry I haven’t respected you... I know I’ve been a dick these past few weeks but if you give me a chance I can make it up to y-“ Eliana cuts him off with her hand.

“That’s what you said before... I’m not sure if I can believe it again.” She sighed “Listen. I need some time to think... I know it’s sudden but I’m just gonna get a hotel for a while and process things. It just seems logical right now.”

Ethan’s eyes widen at her words. She wouldn’t just leave.. right? He looks at her as she packs a small suitcase of her clothes and toiletries.

Why am I so stupid...she shouldn’t leave me... god I’m such an ass...

After a few minutes she walks back into the living room with her bags. He frowns at her. “How long until you come back.” Ethan hoped she would realize she doesn’t need to leave. And that he loves her more then anything.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Awhile... I’m not to sure but if I find out I’ll text you. She said looking away from him. Not wanting to make eye contact

Shit.shit.shit.shit. I’m so stupid! Why do I always push her away?! Do something you idiot!

“... please don’t leave. I love you and I would do anything to make it up to you.” Ethan pleaded.

“I’m sorry Ethan, I need this space before we ruin this beyond repair. I’m doing this because I love you too.” Eliana looked genuine and Ethan just hung his head, not looking at her.

“..... ok, I love you. Please be safe. And text me.” He said. Eliana nodded and walked out, looking behind her shoulder as she turned down the hall.

Guilt spreads through Ethan’s chest... Why am I so stupid! He looks across the room, his eyes settle on pictures of both him and his lover...

Why do I push her like that...?

————————

Eliana’s POV

As soon as she got into her car her tears started to spill down her cheeks. I can’t live without him. I have to fix this and taking a break is the only way. She thought to herself.

Eliana drives around aimlessly trying to clear her head. After awhile she gets checked into her hotel and just plops down on her bed with a groan.

The room wasn’t anything fancy, it’s the last thing she could get for a last minute reservation. It had a mini fridge for food, a nice sized bathroom with a walk in shower. Their was one bed that took up most of the room.

I should unpack but...

I need to go to bed... she hesitates to text Ethan and tell him she was at the hotel. It’s just gonna be awkward, he can wait.

After she brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas, she gets nestled into bed, her mind drifts off wishing Ethan’s arms were around her. She missed his little snores and the rise and fall of his chest. It was comforting. I miss that grump...

She smiled to herself and repeated the phrase.. I miss that grump. She stayed up thinking for awhile but ultimately drifted off into a deep sleep, still missing his warmth.

Ethan’s POV

Part of him was hoping that she would run right back through that door and fling her arms around his neck and tell him she didn’t mean it. But of course, she hasnt.

She has a right to be mad... but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Ethan stared at the door for what felt like hours after she left. He felt more upset then he has in a long time.

She’s gonna forgive me, right? He wasn’t sure how she felt. She had calmed down after his short apology that was still, even then, cut off.

Ethan’s hands ball into fists. I’m not giving up on us. I’m going to do everything I can’t to show her that I love that impeccable goofball...

He smiled to himself with a chuckle.

Impeccable goofball...

The next day...

Eliana’s POV.

She was pacing around her hotel room, not knowing what to do. I have to pull myself together... Eliana throws on a skirt and her blouse with her doctors coat on top. It was her signature outfit and she loved it to pieces.

She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror after doing her daily morning routine. She reaches for her hairbrush in her bag...

More digging

Where is it?

More digging

Ugh it’s somewhere

More digging

Eliana sighs and flops down on her bed, think of the night she left their Condo...

Last night...

I have to do it for us... Eliana says to herself as she scrambled around to grab the things she needed to leave.

This is for the best right? Yeah of course...

Eliana continues thinking on the problem at hand that she forgets her hairbrush on the bathroom vanity...

Shit

I can’t go to work like this...

Eliana thinks back on all of the smaller stuff she left whilst in a hurry to leave and get her emotions together...

She groans as she throws her head back. I’m gonna have to get my ass out of bed and go over there to get my stuff.

She stares at her phone, then at the clock, and then back at her phone and she sighs while calling Doctor Emery about letting her take a half day and be in at 8:45 instead of 5:45. She grinned as she agreed and hung up to gather her things and walks to her car.

She pulls into a parking lot to text Ethan so it won’t be as awkward if she showed up without warning.

Ethan’s POV.

He hears a ding from his phone and he pirks up seeing Elianas contact name pop up.

Eliana: Hey, I forgot a few things last night... can I drop in for 5 minutes and grab them?

Ethan looked at the desk knowing it was her work day and he had the day off and nothing else to do... nothing else to do.... aha! Ethan’s brain sparked with a brilliant idea. He quickly replies.

Ethan: yeah of course, you have the key so feel free to come right in and grab your stuff.

Ethan hops off the couch and gets to work right away to prepare for her arrival.

Eliana’s POV.

She sighed looking at his text. It’s gonna be awkward... she turned on her car and plugged her GPS into her radio speaker and her mouth drops a little.

I really drove a lot last night. She thought as her GPS showed how far their condo was from the hotel.

She groaned and pulled out of the parking lot, beginning her drive.

5 minutes later...

10 minutes later...

15 minutes later...

“You have arrived at your destination” the voice rang out through her car. Sending a shiver down her spine at what’s to come.

She pulls in the driveway and sighs as she steps out of the car. She grabs her empty bag she was going to fill and walks towards the door.

She inserts the key into the lock and turns the doorknob counter clockwise until it pops open.

She walks in and and makes her way to the living room.

Oh my god...

Her breath hitched at the state of the living room. She noticed it was dark but didn’t think much of it at the time she was walking in. Wow. She said to herself at the sight Ethan had set up.

“Hello beautiful.” Ethan said wrapping his arms around her waist as she stared dumbfounded at him and their living space.

15 minutes before hand...

Ethan’s POV.

This has to be perfect. Ethan thought for the 10th time since his call ended and he got to work. He quickly put together a fort he and Eliana already had “blueprints” for and he knew it by heart. He smiles to himself as he put pillows on the floor of the fort, thinking what was to come. He grabbed as many of her favorite snacks and placed them into the cushioned area of his fort.

He then thought about his plan and what he was going to do to tell Eliana that he wasn’t going anywhere and she shouldn’t either. I love her and I want her to realize I would do anything for her. He said to himself.

He had a few minutes before she was supposed to arrive. He walked around, to nervous to focus his mind on anything else but her. He found himself picking up their old photos together. Most taken by Eliana much to his distaste at the time. He sighed picking up a photo of him and Eliana watching House M.D on amazon prime. The photo showed Eliana’s expert selfie skills as her middle and index finger pointed up into a “peace sign” whilst winking with a slight show of her tongue sticking out at the camera. He was glaring at her in the background, clearly trying to focus on the show and not her shenanigans. But was also clearly failing. He sighed at the memory.

Binge watching night...

“Smileeee!!” Eliana said while taking several selfies of the pair.

“Rook, you gotta focus on the show...” Ethan said motioning to the screen.

“Oh please, you just wanna watch so you can say that you figured out the case before anyone else did...” she said with a smirk.

He glared at her, capturing the moment Ethan now held in his hands...

Present...

Eliana’s POV.

She continued to gape at the set-up. Her gaze wondering the giant fort with the tv hidden under, her favorite snacks, even her favorite pillow was stuffed in her spot she usually took when they built this same fort.

She looked back at Ethan who was smiling warmly at her from around her shoulder, his hands where still rapped around her waist and he spun her around to face him.

“I love you.” He said, not even a moment later she crashed her lips to his and they’re faces smiling wide as they parted. She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her up and spun her around, eliciting a fit of giggles from her.

“E... I don’t even know how to tell you how sorry I am...” Ethan said while setting her down.

“Hey, I’m sorry too. I should’ve talked to you more about our situation and I might just be saying that because I practically died without you.” They both laughed and he took her hand and led her over to the fort and they both sat down. He handed her a glass of her favorite drink to ever exsist.... grape juice. She laughed as he handed her a wine glass of it. They clinked the glasses together.

“To new beggings?” He asked.

“To new beginnings.” She replied

“I have to be at work at 8:45 ya know.” She said raising her eyebrows while taking another sip “I can’t binge watch all day.” She said. “I also have to grab my stuff from the hotel...” She added shyly.

Ethan tapped his chin and quickly got up, placing his glass down and leaving her in confusion. “What are you doing?” She said before he disappeared around the corner. He looked back at her and smiled. “I’ll be back in a second.” She raised an eyebrow as he left. He returned a minute later with a grin on his face.

“What did you do?” She asked with her brows furrowed in confusion.

“I convinced Emery to give you the day off” he said proudly as she gaped at him. A second later her surprised face turns into a smile that matched his. “We can grab your thins tomorrow.” He added before kissing the top of her head.

“I can’t believe you convinced her, she never lets loose, I’ll also probably get beef from Zaid when I walk into work tomorrow..” they both laughed in usion.

(Switching To Ethan’s POV kinda randomly...)

Ethan grabs the remote as they both get comfortable in the fort and Ethan smiles as she snuggles into his side.

He tilts her head up to meet his gaze. “I’m going to spend this day very wisely my dearest.” He kiss her softly and she smiled up at him.

“And however are you going to do that?” She said with a teasing tone. He kissed her hand, looking into her eyes.

“I have many things planned, starting with rewatching that one episode of Hosue M.D and showing you how much I love you a little later.” He waggles his eyebrows and she snorts, leading them into even more laughter and she pops an M&M into her mouth. He knew it was her favorite and soon enough they where watching the same episode they where watching when she took the picture. But this time glaring didn’t even cross his mind, he only thought of how lucky he was to be with her in that moment. He made a vow to himself to do better and never to jepordize their relationship for no reason in the first place. He loved her now, her loved her before, and will continue to love her for many years of happiness to come. He thanked his lucky stars for the beautiful goddess laying in his arms. And couldn’t ask for anything more.

#choices stories you play #pixelberry #choices #playchoices #ethan ramsey #incorrect quotes #incorrect open heart

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edgescalledperhaps · 3 years

Text

some thoughts on trauma and the election on a grumpy sunday morning

anyone else feeling awful today? grumpy, agitated, pissed off, quick to snap? I woke up feeling incredibly off, in a different way than my usual disregulation; I tend towards sad, lethargic, self-blame and shame, and extra worry on the side. But today, I'm the grumpiest grumpster and pissed off about everything from being expected to write a midterm for a professor who still hasnt returned our first paper (due 9/29) to feeling mad and resentful about having to be so excited about an old, white, male, moderate who's solidly against medicare for all.

If any of you are also feeling this way, I want to give you a quick trauma and neurobiology lesson to help you understand how incredibly fucking normal this response is right now:

When our nervous system perceives a threat, our brain shifts from complex processing, both intellectual and emotional, towards the fight/flight/freeze of the amygdala and limbic system. The "freeze" part doesn't just look like standing still or playing dead at the bear in the woods. It can also look like other strategies we take on to get through the moment and survive it, for we are shockingly adept at survival. This might look like hypervigillance to the threat, dissociation, depersonalization, and dearealization to take your mind and/or body out of the moment when it's too intollerable, and/or constricted affect/emotional range because it's not safe to show or process just how scared shitless you truly are.

When the threat leaves, or our perception of the threat shifts (45 has not, in fact, actually left the building yet), our nervous systems might not know quite what to do. In the wild, when a rabbit is being stocked by a predator and successfully escapes, they regularly shake vigorously for several minutes after the incident. This is a discharge of the cortisol and adrenaline (the stress hormones) their bodies have produced to mobilize for the quick response they undertook to survive. They quite literally, shake it off.

Humans don't do this anymore. This is in part because our nervous systems and brains are more complex than a rabbit's and the toxic stress and threats we constantly intake far outpace that of a single predator in the woods. Our lack of discharge, though, is also due to the systems we've built to keep going, to keep producing, to keep colonizing, to keep exploiting. Capitalism doesn't allow space to stop and feel the feelings. You still had to show up to work from Tuesday-Saturday, you still have to write that paper today. White supremacy makes the threat so systemic that it continues to be unsafe to release the feelings. There is so little space in this world for people of color to be publicly vulnerable, or choose not to show up to all the things demanded of them, and survive. And this is not a zero sum scenario. There is consequence and impact. Look up social determinants of health and ACEs and how the body, proverbially, keeps the score.

Those of us privileged enough by class, race, ability, geography, etc. to call our environment good enough and safe enough might still be struggling to access any discharge. To exhale all the way. To feel relaxed now that election week has reached some conclusion. Some of us feel even worse than Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

I understand this in two ways: 1) the threat isn't really gone. The shift is symbolic more than embodied at this point. We still have to rally for two more months of fight just to get to inauguration, and then the real work begins. Being told by news, family, friends, the raucous crowd dancing down the street waving American flags, that things will be fine now, is gaslighting, a form of psychological abuse. It can be crazy making to try and hold both the celebrations and the terror that you know in your gut is still very much there. The monster still has teeth, the wolf is still a wolf, all dressed up in Grandma's clothing.

2) We don't discharge as simply as rabbits. Our systems are too flooded with cortisol on a regular basis to shake away the impact. For us, discharge might look like being grumpy, getting mad, being incredibly impatient and reactive to the smallest things. So many among us have held these feelings in for so long, because acting out mad as hell to the people who truly deserve it, has not been a safe or accessible option. If we are perceiving our national environment to be better, safer, these feelings might start to peak their heads out. But cortisol doesn't fine tuning. It doesn't allow us to turn the faucet on when talking about trump, drain the sink, then turn it off with family and friends. Differentiating where the mad feelings are coming from and who they are for is incredibly hard work. And our brains are already overspent. Once it's safe enough to get mad, to let those feelings out, the levees will break. It is a invalidating to tell someone to plug them with deep breaths. It is a terrible thing to have one hand holding up the floodgates and the other writing a paper, helping a customer at work, feeding your child, etc. We are not built for this kind of exhaustion. And we who can even access safe enough, we are the lucky ones.

So I say all of this to invite you to be gentle with yourself. To make space for release, in whatever ways you can. Write it down, scream it out, smash something (pumpkins are a highly satisfying choice). Remember that it is part of their game to make you feel like you're the crazy one, they want you to feel shame for feeling too tired to work today, to angry to sit still. My prayer and affirmation for myself, for us all, this Sunday in November: I will not give them the satisfaction.

Now, can I submit this for my midterm for trauma class?

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

Pls talk about Alec and Magnus reuniting in Edom and Magnus just RUNNING to him and hugging him so hard Alec stumbles a little and then hugs him back real tight and they just stand there in each other's arms for a hot minute

I mean........ first of all, thank you harry shum jr for my rights. he really sold all the emotion in that scene. the way he pauses like he believes he was hallucinating, the way his eyes widen, and then he just half runs, half skips, half leaps at alec like his brain is still catching up with him and he doesnt know how to react, or how to fucking walk, and then when they hug he keeps grabbing at him and pulling him closer??????????????? to make sure hes really there???? because he cant believe this??? the way he opens his mouth like hes about to argue when alec tells him hes staying in edom, but then just shakes his head in disbelief and stares at him in awe????????? bitch

magnus really didnt believe they were coming for him. before that, lilith says that their friends left him to rot, and he doesnt argue; he looks slightly hurt but resolute (thank u harry shum jr for my rights can u believe what a great actor this guy is???? ugh) because he chose this, and hes gonna protect his friends. he chose to go to edom fully believing that he wouldnt be rescued, that he would be stuck in there, the place he hates the most, the place that's filled with memories of torture and abuse, alone, a destiny so awful to him that when asmodeus offered to help him in exchange for him going to edom he chose to give up his magic instead, knowing full well this would make him severely depressed and also take away his immortality.

Ive said it before and I'll say it again, i dont think magnus truly understood how much alec loved him until that moment. not because Alec hasnt shown it, but because he cant really understand such a full, beautiful, selfless love; not when its directed towards him, because hes used to being the one that gives; he sacrifices himself constantly for the well-being of others, its what he does the most in the whole series. himself, his magic, his immortality, his mental health, and then ultimately his whole life and freedom. hes used to it; hes full of love to give, and he doesnt prioritise himself, and hes an abuse victim whos been told many times thats how love will go for him. that he'll be the one left behind, that he's too much to handle, that at the end of the day he's alone

but alec comes back for him. without a second thought. he throws everything out of the window, doesnt even cook up a decent plan (become a vampire and stay with him in edom forever? seriously? that's ur brilliant idea?), is willing to leave behind his life, his job to which hes dedicated his whole life, his family and friends, all to be with magnus. he barely sleeps in his desperation to get back to him, and the one thing that keeps him grounded is the damn ring.

alec is the opposite of magnus in their reunion; his steps are big and fast, hes focused, hes marching to magnus like hes just gonna burst through whatever tries to come between them. when they hug, he grabs him steadily and holds him close, to make sure magnus is protected; and he smiles with so much relief in his face, like finally, finally he can breathe, because hes with magnus and that's all that matters (thank u matt daddario for my rights)

where magnus is all uncertainty, alec is certainty; theres no hesitation because he knows full well what he wants, what he needs to do: get to magnus. and magnus thought he would be left behind. magnus thought he'd be stuck in edom forever. magnus thought he'd never see alec, or his friends, or the light of day again. magnus thought he was going crazy when alec showed up, because he had no idea alec loved him enough to sacrifice something for him in return, no idea alec would choose him and give him back when he selflessly threw away his entire fucking life.

and dont even get me started on the implications that has for the whole proposal scene, idk if magnus realized at the last minute that that was the only way or if he just wanted to make up with alec and have something to remember him by when he was stuck in literal fucking hell. all i know is that i cry, and thank u alec for loving magnus like he deserves, for showing him that he's worth it, that he deserves to be pursued and fought for, that he's not destined to be left behind like camille told him and that he doesnt have to keep sacrificing himself because theyre in this together and magnus matters. in short malec are soulmates and harry is a fucking amazing magnus and also im crying

#sh #shadowhunters #ask #anonymous #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #sh cast #harry shum #harry shum jr #meta #malec meta #magnus meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years

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SPOILERS!!! Charmed 02x06 review

8/10. I am actually not sure how I feel about this episode. On one hand I did love it. I love Macy's look! I love Harry and Mel working together and I love Maggie and Jordan awkward bonding. I just am starting to get fustrated with the lack of information pertaining to the big war plot.

I actually am going a different route from my normal reviews and just want to gather the info we gained and info still missing from this episode.

1) Jimmy has a master (we got that from last episode). The master may or may not be a woman. I mean I would think he is making a big hint but that could be misdirection.

2) Jimmy and Harry's connection is mostly emotional/ psychic (feelings and memories shared) but seperate brains. They are indeed two seperate and different people. Although they came from the same source.

3) harry seems like he'd be pro merging (but he is also under the assumption he is half a person or not really a person at all) in the future

4) they both immortal (we been knew)

5) this ship is gonna be the slowest burn and I am both here for it and ready to scream. I loved macy telling jimmy not to talk about Harry.

6) Jordan's ring is magical or at least helps maggie tap into magic. It is a family heirloom so either Jordan's family is magical somewhere there or they were some how tied to magic.

Now onto what we still dont know

As a side note, I had been worried about Parker in that when he left, he did it because he felt he couldnt control his demonside. For the most part, this season Macy hasnt shown any difficulties with it like last season so I just assumed the spreading stopped and it was all good, so probably parker would be okay, but at the same time he had it way worse in some ways. So if he is back it might not be nice. I had hoped they would just leave him alone and we can at least head cannon he is happy and healthy somewhere, but who knows what they will do next episode.

1) who the heck the big bad is.

I honestly dont know what is taking so long. If it is Abby just let her be the villian and not this well maybe or not evil character. If she isnt then just tell me who is. I imagine they will reveal it next episode or before break to give us something to jump into. I am ready for this war and need to know who is on which side!

7) Jordan is gonna get hurt probably next episode (I assume because I dont think we will have much more episodes until the break) and from the promo probably Parker related.

2) what jordan is or is not. Like we know the ring seems magical (although amber is common so I think it is the thing as a whole not just the amber alone) and is a family heirloom, but is jordan completely oblivious or just not revealing anything? Is it just the ring or does his family have magic in it? Is he magical in some way . . . Insert thirst comment

3) Are jimmy and harry really not human or that is are they truly incomplete? And will they merge? Jimmy's thoughts are different than Harry's it would appear. We know jimmy was trapped and tortured and that (although he is also part of james) he isnt any more James than harry is. But he seems to see himself as more james, or at least as more of a person. At the very least he seems to like himself and is more upset with the fact he was ripped from his body and tossed aside and imprisoned than just the split into two people part. He seems angry about it but like okay as long as he has his own body. That is when he talks about being ripped from james body and Harry being left over. He says "my body" and then says he was given his body back he say my body not a body so he sees his current corporeal form as his and conplete. He talks about Harry as the lesser half. So he sees himself either as more of james and/or less lacking. When he is insulting Harry, He says he doesnt like to share and doesnt care about killing him. Harry was sad at the thought of losing half of himself (james), but jimmy doesnt seem to have the same concern. So jimmy probably doesnt see himself as half or at least does not see himself as having a part missing. When teasing Harry (when harry says he might be half a man but jimmy isnt one at all) he says half of nothing is nothing. Basically saying well if I am not a man (and Harry does not feel like a person) then you are half of me and there for not a person either. I mean multiple layers in that quick exchange, but it does seem to me that jimmy is just postulating Harry's fears, but doesnt hold the same feelings and views.

4) does macy have a thing for Jimmy? Well my personally belief is that when a women says she is disgusted by a man we should believe her....but.... i hate this, but when she is describing jimmy to Harry she holds sympathy (sympathy does not equal attraction) but I maybe tempted to believe that she appreciated certain qualities of Jimmy the bold and charming part and had sympathy for what he went through and what he is going through (under the thumb of a master). She defends him in that he cant be all bad because he is part of Harry. Which I disagree. Not that he is all bad. But that he is half of Harry. He is half of James like harry is but not part of Harry. They were one once and therefore they share a connection but Harry is seperate, but yes they form a whole other person:One complex and messy person. But yall know i feel that Harry is a complex character and I love him as is. But again no closer to solving whether they definitely are or arent thier own persons or just the halfs left over when split since it seems our two halfs have different ideas over it.

That's all I got for right now. It is late and I have to work at 7 am and it is currently 2:30 am. I probably missed stuff since my brain is tired. Let me know.

#cw charmed #charmed remake #charmed reboot #charmed cw #charmed #charmed 2018 #hacy #harry x macy #macy x harry #macy vaughn #harry greenwood #maggie x jordan #mel vera #jimmy #james westwell #dark!hacy #dark!harry #charmed spoilers #charmed 2018 spoilers

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