#trophy hitman
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Have this absolute mess of a scribble ig. I got Zolu on the brain Big time rn
#one piece#zolu#trophy hitman#luzo#luzo one piece#luffy and zoro#roronoa zoro#it’s the unwavering trust for me bestie#and probably the part where they’re both reckless jackasses#love that#I don’t know wine#obviously
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I've just had the best realization. 47 goes to work. 47 brings in the money. 47 lays out clothing for Lucas. Lucas is a trophy husband!
I'm sorry, that's who he is now 😔
#a wonderful trophy husband#I'm sorry for what I did to him but I couldn't resist#bc you're so right#Lucas Grey#hitman#I have your other asks scheduled with more art so pls don't think I ignore the rest of your lovely messages
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🔀 mitchtonio!!!! (Ofc!!!)
Dark Side - Bishop Briggs
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The house is silent when Antonio comes home. Mitch is still away for work but Antonio expects him back for tonight. Which is why he went out to stock up on groceries. He plans to prepare dinner for the both of them, not keen on going out and having to share his boyfriend again after being separated.
Antonio puts the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and starts to stuff the fridge. He is about to put a handful of yoghurt cups into the fridge when he hears a dull thud upstairs. Frowning, Antonio keeps still, straining his ears but there’s nothing. Maybe he’s starting to imagine things.
Just when he closes the fridge though there’s another sound.
“Mitch?” Antonio calls. Maybe his boyfriend got home early and is trying to surprise him. Antonio decides to check, just to be sure.
He goes upstairs, looking into every room he suspects Mitch could be hiding in. But nothing. Antonio is about to go back down when he hears a muffled voice coming from further down the hallway. Slowly, he moves closer to the source of the sounds, coming to stand in front a door he knows is always locked. When he moved into the villa with Mitch, Mitch had told him to use every room as he likes. Except for this one. Antonio had tried the once while being alone but found it locked. He hasn’t tried again.
Until now. Antonio puts his hand on the door handle, pushing it down. Unlike the last time, the door gives way, opening up to the only room Antonio has never seen from inside. What he finds is not something he ever expected to see.
Mitch. A gun with a silencer attached to it in his hand. Standing above a stranger who is chained to a chair. The chair has fallen over and with him the man. He’s breathing hard, his face all beat up and bloody. Mitch is pointing the gun at the man’s face. He hasn’t noticed Antonio yet.
Antonio wants to say something, wants to confront him about whatever this is. He doesn’t get a chance to. Without missing a beat Mitch pulls the trigger. There is no loud bang, only the last twitch of a body before it goes limp, lifeless. Mitch turns his head then, looking straight at Antonio. There is blood on his face too, staining his skin.
“Oh, hi babe. Didn’t expect you to be home already,” he says with a smile.
“What- What have you done?” Antonio asks, voice barely above a whisper. He keeps looking from Mitch to the man, eyes locking on the gun.
“Just finishing up a job. Can you do me a favour and wait downstairs?”
This must be a bad dream. Maybe Antonio hit his head and now he’s trapped in the worst nightmare possible? Because there is no way Mitch, his wonderful loving boyfriend, killed a man in front of his eyes without thinking twice.
“Y-You shot him. You just shot him. That’s- I don’t- Why…?” Antonio stammers out. Breathing is hard all of a sudden. He is gasping for air but it won’t come, not as much as he needs, and his body tenses up in panic.
Mitch is with him in the blink of an eye. He places the gun on a shelf nearby, taking Antonio’s face in his hands.
“Tonio, I need you to breathe with me now, okay? Nice and steady. In and out. In…. And out.” Antonio tries is best to follow the gentle voice of his boyfriend, imitates his breathing rhythm until his chest doesn’t feel so tight anymore.
“Yes, that’s my good boy. Good job,” Mitch praises, his thumbs rubbing over Antonio’s cheek. He can feel something wet on his skin and maybe he started to cry without realising it but there isn’t the telltale sign of his eyes burning or his nose running. Apart from the slight panic attack he feels fine. That is when he realises it’s not the wetness of tears. It’s blood.
Antonio eyes fly past Mitch again to the lifeless body on the floor.
“You killed that man,” he whispers, the whole expanse of the situation slowly sinking in. Not only did Mitch kill another person, Antonio also saw him do it. He is a witness. A danger to Mitch. Oh god, Mitch is going to kill him too.
“I’m sorry you had to see this. But try not to think about it, love.” Mitch leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to Antonio’s mouth. When Antonio runs his tongue over his lips, he tastes copper. Right, there is still blood on Mitch’s face. Some of it must have caught on his lips, and now Antonio has it on his own.
“How about you take a shower and I clean this mess up, hm? Does this sound alright with you?”
Antonio nods as if in trance. He doesn’t look back when Mitch guides him to their bedroom with the en suite. Before Mitch lets him go again though, he stops Antonio again, holding his hand out.
“I would prefer if you give me your phone though. Wouldn’t want you to do something you regret later, do we?”
Antonio shakes his head in answer, taking his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and hands it over to Mitch. The smile he receives for it is the same Mitch always gives him when he does something that pleases his boyfriend, and Antonio smiles back instinctively.
“Take you time, love,” Mitch says before closing the door between them. Antonio stands there a moment longer, staring at the wood while Mitch is on the other side, cleaning up. Getting rid of the body and all the evidence. While Antonio is still here, breathing, alive. Mitch didn’t kill him too.
And while Antonio should be worried, should be freaking out because his boyfriend is a killer, all he can do is smile. Because Mitch didn’t kill him. Mitch trusts him enough that he left him alone, that he wants to keep him by his side. Mitch trusts him not to run to the next police station and spill everything that he just witnessed.
It makes a rush of adrenaline paired with affection rush through his body. Antonio vows to himself in that moment to never betray Mitch’s trust. His boyfriend might have a dark side to him Antonio wasn’t aware of before but this doesn’t change him being the love of his life. Even when maybe one day there is nothing left but pain.
#i got this song for them and my brain immediatly went ‘hitman/trophy wife au’ so here we are!!!#a bit of a different way for Antonio to find out his man is not as good as he thought#mitchtonio#my writing#I need to think of a tag for this au bc I am working on writing more for it#inbox#ask games#tw blood#tw murder#tw killing#just in case
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—————————————
How the hitman react when you throw it back
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The Sniper:
Ossian damn near almost died from the excessive amount of nosebleeds and was overflowing with joy pouring from every office of his body. When he had his beautiful crush throwing it back on him of all people. He didn’t know wether to frame the pants you grinded back on in his cherished trophy shrine of you. Or to just keep wearing the same jeans every single day for the rest of his life without washing it so he could still smell your scent.
The Medic:
Koji could only purr the most filthiest things into your ear taking the utmost pleasure into making you into flustered hot mess. As he confidently took the lead dancing the tango with you never failing to make you swoon with his sadistic charm. That quickly escalated to the both of you getting hot and bothered.
The Strategist:
Bjorn was gonna be fine! He calculated this it was going exactly according to plan. Well everything except the prominent boner he had from you merely brushing up against his crotch. Nevertheless he maintained his composure despite his cheeks burning with a fervent blush and made sure that you had the best night of your life with him by your side.
The Hacker:
Devious was Yujin’s middle name and since you decided to throw it back. He decided that he would return the favor since two can play at that game. He even hijacked the DJs booth to play the songs that would give him the upper hand against your skill. Although it was evident he lost the fight clearly he won the war. Since his antics made you compelled to dominate him with your irresistible ass throwing it back even more violently which only made him lean back enjoying the ride while he bared a cattish grin of pure satisfaction.
The Torturer:
Lord have mercy on this soft giants soul. Moros malfunctioned at the mere faintest touch from you and automatically covered his face like an embarrassed schoolgirl. Just having no choice but to let you do as you pleased as he was frozen stiff to the the spot. He couldn’t even move if he wanted too because he couldn’t bear to tear himself away from you to begin with. Especially after he peeked through his scared fingers and saw how much fun you were having at his expense. He’d gladly sacrifice his dignity in order to see his sunshine smile.
The Enforcer:
He beat you to it first he would never pass up the chance to make you laugh from how he threw it back on you with such finesse and sass. All in all he wanted the both of y’all to have a night full of fun and laughter. He was just happy to be there with you although he wouldn’t lie and say that his little friend also was happy with the way you reciprocated his gestures.
#The Enforcer#Ossian the Sniper#Moros the Torturer#Bjorn the Strategist#Yujin the Hacker#Koji the Medic#yandere male x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere scenarios#suggestive#the enforcer#the sniper#the medic#the torturer#the hacker#yandere x reader#yandere male#yandere oc#yandere hitman x reader#yandere hitman squad#yandere blurb#yanderecore#male yandere#yandere content
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Guys. Guys it’s SO poetic and cathartic and such GOOD FUCKING KARMA that not only was Ogino unable to utter any last words of his own, but the fire Kazuki & Rei set off made his gross trophy kill book go up in flames.
That book was filled to the brim with stolen, private, final moments that Ogino had no right to catalogue in the first place. Many were full of fear and terror at the fact that their lives were being violently taken from them. Ogino’s whole trophy system reeked of sociopathy and serial killer behavior, because it was his compulsion, his need, his chosen souvenir from his victims, because he didn’t see it as a job; murder was an act that brought him pleasure and fulfillment.
This compulsion was deeply dehumanizing of his victims, and the existence of this book was directly framed as a dishonor to their memories. Who he was killing (or whether they deserved it) didn’t matter; it was his predatory need to collect these last words that made him so unsettling and vile in his role as a rival hitman.
It was SO satisfying, then, to see him go out the way he did, with no final words to leave to the world, and all traces of his collection destroyed. Rot in hell, bitch
#buddy daddies#ryou ogino#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#ryo ogino#ogino ryo#ogino ryou#kurusu kazuki#suwa rei#bd spoilers#buddy daddies spoilers#buddy daddy spoilers#kazuki buddy daddies#rei buddy daddies#buddy daddies episode 12#neo queen serenity’s posts#kazurei#buddy daddies meta
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Buddy Daddies - Episode 12 - SPOILERS!! - Ryo’s Death
I won’t be using any images here, since the death is so brutal (but extremely well done and satisfying), and I also refer to him by his first name because I had a teacher with the last name Ogino, and I adored her, so I can’t use that last name to talk about this guy, lol.
Anyway, his death scene was so well done! Others have pointed out that his death was poetic irony, since he got stabbed in the throat, he couldn’t speak his last words in full, and he couldn’t write them down either.
But, I want to talk about his unfinished last words and what those say about him: “You can die leaving nothing behind, just like he--”
He said those words to Rei. The “he” is ambiguous here, he could be talking about Kazuki, under the presumption that he will kill him (that isn’t out of character for Ryo) or he could be talking about Satoru or he could be talking about both (being left open to interpretation to the audience). Regardless of who he is talking about here, the one who died leaving nothing was Ryo.
Kazuki survives and will be leaving behind Miri, as will Rei.
While Satoru’s last words were left behind with Rei. Words of love.
Ryo’s last words are talking about death, because death and killing was his world.
Seeing the booklet with all of Ryo’s victim’s last words burning up was rather cathartic in a way. Similar to Ryo’s death itself. He was basically a serial killer who used the hitman business to get his targets. His victim’s last words were his trophies and he kept them in his booklet, to relive those moments and deaths. That’s what serial killers do.
So, in a way, by the booklet burning up and those last words being lost, all of those victims can finally rest in peace (whether all of them deserve that or not, is another question and topic for another day).
I also rather liked how Kazuki was the one to ultimately bring him down. Rei’s push dealt the final blow, but that knife hit to the neck seemed pretty fatal in and of itself. That’s fitting and what I had figured would happen. The fact that Kazuki’s avengement is more so for Misaki than Yuzuko, since he doesn’t know that Ryo took part in Yuzuko’s death, is also interesting in a way.
Kazuki may have had issues with Misaki, due to him being weary of her and wanting best for Miri, but in the end he also wanted to do right by her too.
Also, the music throughout the series in general has been fantastic, but especially so during the shoot out scene in this episode! So good!
#Buddy Daddies#BD#Ryo Ogino#Kazuki Kurusu#Rei Suwa#Misaki Unasaka#Yuzuko Unasaka#BD spoilers#Buddy Daddies spoilers#meta post#thought post#analysis#long post
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This has been simmering in my brain for too long since I rewatched The Hitman's Bodyguard and The Hitman's Bodyguard's Wife recently:
Mobster wife!Okoye & Lieutenant!Attuma and Mob Head!W'Kabi heads up the whole thing; Okoye is the trophy wife and W'Kabi constantly underestimates her, just has her around for show, but Attuma notices, they start banging and eventually stage a coup and they are fucking vicious, their culmination and solidifying of power is a brutal, bloody thing and no one dares to cross them in the end. She gets a name like Songbird or some shit like that. And it becomes know that is she sings a song at you in a meeting, well, that's it, you're dead courtesy of Attuma."
Like, the dead dove potential... *chef kiss*
I got enough on my plate, someone bring this to life.
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𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫
Fandom ⊳ Marvel, Captain America
Rating ⊳ Explicit
Warning ⊳ Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Pairing ⊳ Hitman!Steve Rogers x Recovering!Bucky Barnes
Word Count ⊳ 6.3k +
Summary ⊳ Steve, a hitman on an assignment during the festivities of Christmas, catches sight of the most beautiful man in the world — hidden away in his target’s gang trophy collection.
On the other hand, Bucky is a survivor of a traumatic incident from five years ago. He is focused on rebuilding his life through therapy and living a sheltered existence to avoid drawing attention. It is ironic when fate intervenes the day he meets a man who is kind-hearted and generous; offering the battered, bruised, and retired vet a sense of solace and stability.
Their connection is something neither of them can understand, but the comfort it offers leaves neither of them willing to question it. Over time, Bucky develops an admiration for the man, but a shocking discovery throws him into a panic and sets off a series of events straight out of a harrowing psychological thriller, only, with a romantic twist.
Tags ⊳ Modern AU, Non-Linear Narrative, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Hitman Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Minor Character Death, Mentioned Past HTP, Blood and Torture, Mild Gore, Improper use of Christmas Decorations, Penectomy, Stalking, Steve's Dog Is A Matchmaker, Unhealthy Relationships, Dark Steve Rogers, Kidnapping, Flashbacks, Violence
Chapter One ⊳ Scarlet Stocking - Prompt ⊳ Stocking
Chapter Two ⊳ Heart Strings - Prompt ⊳ Heartwarming
Chapter Three ⊳ Where The Heart Is - Prompt ⊳ Home
Chapter Four ⊳ Frozen Nightmares - Prompt ⊳ Jugular
Chapter Five ⊳ Baby, It's Cold Outside - Prompt ⊳ Blood In The Snow
Chapter Six ⊳ Tis The Season - Prompt ⊳ Giving Back
𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 | Masterlist | AO3 | @deaddovedec
#stucky#bucky barnes#steve rogers#smutconnoisseur#deaddovedecember2023#cw: dead dove do not eat#dead dove december#steve x bucky
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Heeey long time no see, thoghts on whats going on in the comic?
Heeeeeey, and even longer time no answer, sorry TTATT
Anyway… first of all.
Here’s the tag for all my reactions and analysis to this webtoon.
This does mean I will be talking about Chapters 12 to 18 in this one and, ooohhh boy, let’s get this started XD
Okay, so this might get a bit disjointed in some places so uuuhh… bear with me?
First of all: I remembered reading that Birch was supposed to a business partner or something of Edward but I can’t find where I read that. It was never truly stated what Edward’s ‘front’ was (and I highly doubt he let it be ‘the trophy husband of a rich woman’) so Edward forming an alliance with Madam Lee might turn to him and Madam Lee having a business ‘alliance’ later, maybe Edward being the person in charge of Madam Lee’s business endeavors in London (maybe even Europe?). This would be a good place to set that up but, if it’s not, well… I also won’t be surprised considering the last few chapters XD
Sudden Ezio appearance!
Not surprising though since Ezio is the ancestor of the Kenways so, yeah, Noa having him in his genes is spot on.
However…
Excuse Me???
Bitch, if you trying to take over our baby boi Desmond Miles’ place, there will be… well… not riots but there will be some strong words being thrown around in this tumblr, that’s for damn sure!
BTW, love this game mechanics shoutout XD
(And yes, I do love these more than that Hitman coin toss thing in Chapter 11)
Also…
I know this is meant to be a visual ‘aid’ of some sort of the Italian Brotherhood around AC Brotherhood (Ezio and his recruits), but that’s Evie right there.
That’s Evie. XD
And finally...
Oh my heart… TTATT
Overall: Edward's parts are interesting and it does feel a lot like an AC game with lots of side objectives before tackling the main objective.
The flashbacks help show how Edward became the person who he is in this webtoon and his conflict with Madam Lee even with their alliance is also pretty interesting.
Refusing to call it opium and just calling it 'devil's powder' is funny though, ngl. I don't know if it's against webtoon's terms and services or not but calling it 'Devil's Powder' is the kind of dramatics that Edward would sometimes have. XD
On the other side though, honestly? I don't know if I would ever like Noa, especially with the way the webtoon is comparing him to Desmond Miles.
(I'm going to sound like a broken record)
Again, if the plot twist is he's Desmond's half-brother or son (super highly improbable), I'm out.
If the plot twist is he just so happened to have the same bloodline as Desmond (with Altaïr's bloodline included) but not closely related, I'm out. (For one, Altaïr's bloodline came from his mother's side and is not part of the Auditore-Kenway side. For another... siiigghhh... here's the post where we talk about how weird the percentages of Noa's 'bloodline' is)
The problem with his connection with Desmond is that it comes with doing disservice to an already existing underutilized character: Elijah.
Remember, all the memories Noa is reliving are Edward's memories before he had Haytham. So this means that Sample 17 could have been used to find these memories. They don't need Noa to do this.
And even if they need a 'living descendant' or what not.
ELIJAH IS STILL ALIVE in canon and would have the same memories.
"Oh, but Elijah is in hiding". Uh-huh. And it's not like Abstergo finding him or him creating his own modified Animus to find these memories would be anything out of the realm of possibility.
Which is why I am still advocating that 'Shimazu' Sei and her fellow kidnappers are doing this without Abstergo's approval and/or knowledge.
I detailed why I came to this conclusion here.
#the worst case scenario#i end up writing something for this#where it ends up like the end of grayspace(17) but with noa instead of layla#and i don't want to do that#i just don't get why noa has to be compared to desmond#unless they're going for a big plot twist of his relation with desmond#and at that point#(waves hands at elijah)#stop neglecting elijah!!!#assassin's creed#teecup analyze more than necessary#noa kim#edward kenway#teecup analyze and reacts to acft webtoon
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~ @shivcomplex || General starter ~
Eyes scan the room, fingers coming up to fix his bowtie. These fucking events. They remind him too much of the galas his father used to drag them to when they were younger, parading Sebastian around like a trophy and preaching to the masses about how "my son's in Oxford and going to become a professor". All fake as fuck. Sure, he'd been in Oxford, but he'd ended up a hitman and hated his father so - Sorry to shatter the illusion, dad.
He moves through the crowd, picking out the different Roy children as he goes. Roman - More issues than Vogue. Kendall - Absolute wanker. Connor - Less said about him the better. And then, the most interesting in Sebastian's eyes - Siobhan Roy. "Can I -" He cuts into her conversation with a man who genuinely looks like he might actually bore someone to death. "Hi - Sorry, can I borrow you for a moment?"
#shivcomplex#;sebastian & shiv { shivcomplex }#;starter#i'm so sorry for this taking me a million years#;to be added to tracker
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There’s no fuckin way Thriller Bark healed right after Saboady. Fighting constantly for 2 years without a genuine doctor around? Zoro has chronic pain and in this essay I will
#because i say so#thriller bark#one piece#zolu#trophy hitman#pirate hunter zoro#zoro#zoro one piece#zoro angst#I’m just here to hurt my own feelings bye now#lmao
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𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬 & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐀𝐔𝐬
𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞: all the CEvans daddies. organized by character. See 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐔𝐬 for more.
𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 — Do not plagiarize, copy, repost/republish, adapt or translate any of my works. My blog is 18+, so minors DNI. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel, etc.). All my works are fiction and may be dark or have triggering content: read all warnings before proceeding.
All unnamed/not tagged prompts: #sonnysprompts
𝑨𝒏𝒅𝒚 𝑩𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒆𝒓:
Dark!Andy (uhm… you get knocked up)
𝑨𝒓𝒊 𝑳𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒏:
ari x brat!reader
baker!ari (lovesick needy!ari)
beefy sugar daddy!ari
cam!stepbro!ari
cult!Ari AU
college football player!frat boy!ari x cheerleader!reader (rivals with benefits)
daddy!ari x trophy wife!reader (to dilf!ari x milf!reader)
dilf roommate!ari
farm hand!ari
firefighter!ari
hunter!ari (dark)
lumberjack daddy!ari
mean mechanic daddy!ari
minotaur au: ari | bull hybrid!ari
orc!ari
older art professor!ari
police officer!ari
robber!Ari
roommate alpha!ari
shy best friend!ari has a crush on you
sleazy cop ari
stepdad!ari (dark doctor!ari)
stoner!ari x oblivious!reader
Sugar Daddy!Ari (with sugar baby!reader, sugar baby!ransom)
tattoo artist!ari
vampire king!ari x princess!reader
werewolf daddy ari (x runaway princess!reader)
𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒔 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕:
bad boy stepbro!curtis
Big boss daddy Curtis (ballerina AU)
Daddy Curtis
Lumberjack AU
minotaur au: curtis
tattoo artist!curtis
𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏:
Soft Dark Jake Jensen
streamer bf!jensen
𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎:
FMX!Johnny Storm
𝑳𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒅 𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏:
Lloyd Hansen Basement Wife AU
Stache AU (cop AU & swim coach AU)
𝑴𝒓. 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒛𝒚:
Mr. Freezy AU (hitman au)
𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒎 𝑫𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒆:
Sugar Daddy!Ransom
𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 (& 𝑩𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚, 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓):
Beauty and the Beast AU
dummies in love (himbo!steve x airhead)
Personal trainer!Steve
Priest!Steve
Professors Stucky AU
Street Racer AU (fast & furious AU)
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darkness inside of me
Sometimes Antonio wonders what he did to deserve this, in this life or maybe a past one, when it yet again feels like he’s having the best dream. But he has pinched himself enough times during the past few years to know that this isn’t a dream. It’s real, this beautiful villa at the beach he gets to call his home, where he gets to wake up every day, next to his amazing boyfriend. But an encounter with someone from Mitch’s past reveals that Mitch might not be the gentle soul Antonio thought he is.
Mitchtonio hitman/trophy wife au || 4k || T
#this fic definitely developed a head of its own#and the moodboard still fits but not 100% anymore#but I like it too much to change it now#this au has been living in my head rent free for the past month or so#and I’m so glad I finally finished the fic#mitchtonio#my writing#my edit#fe aesthetic#fe fic#fe moodboard#formula e aesthetic#hitman au
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"My beautiful boy"
Moodboard: Mitchtonio + Hitman/Trophy wife AU
#because this au is everything to me and i love it so so much#i also love them#ugh i will stop one day i promise#mitchtonio#moodboard
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I liked “Exes and Ohs” much better than “Seeing Stars”, even though I have a few complaints about the plot; it feels like season two is starting to hit its stride. We needed to put Stolas and his relationship with Blitzo on the back burner for a bit and get some time with the imps.
Live reaction-notes:
- The backgrounds of the IMP office raise so many questions. Blitzo why did you make a transphobic horse OC? How did you get a bust of yourself made?
(Immediate theory: A sinner who was a sculptor in life offered to make it as part of their payment. It makes sense that IMP would accept barter because sinners don't always have a lot of cash, especially when they're new. That would explain why we see new art around the office all the time.)
- Moxxie. My dude. MOXXIE. Loona does not think you are fat. She just knows it upsets you. There is no way you can logically disprove her bullying. Do not let her stress you into an eating disorder or keep you from enjoying food.
- Millie WTF? Did a human beat you in combat? That hasn't happened since back in episode 1. I want to know what has you so mad but I'm also now invested in the relationship drama going on over on that whiteboard. King Slut is going to get what's coming to him and Blue Cheese needs better taste in side hoes.
- Wouldn't it be funny if Millie's ex was - Nahhhh.
- What are those photos spilling out of the filing cabinet? Does IMP have a sideline in PI-style snooping? Is that...normal for furry cosplay sex?
-Oh, it's just Blitzo's porn stash. I'm sure Stolas would be into using those costumes and quite possibly they have, but I don't really wanna imagine it. But I do want to imagine M&M trying to alphabetize the collection.
- As most of us guessed, IMP was a regular hell-side hitman outfit before they got the book. It's interesting that Blitzo doesn't seem interested in taking local jobs anymore. Surely they could use the money.
- C for Crimson on the driver's cap, but no recognition on Moxxie's face yet. And we're goin' back to the Greed ring! (Moxxie said he was raised in Wrath, though, I thought. So he lies about his past.)
- Blitzo is still obsessing about M&M, but he's gone several episodes now without a single abusive rant at Moxxie. He is seriously trying to do better after "Truth Seekers".
- Loona really doesn't belong at this company, does she. Nobody acknowledged her existence except Moxxie this whole episode. I hope we see her find a place that suits her better soon.
- "Elevator Hangar 03". So even flights between Rings take the elevators. That suggests helicopters are what gets used, rather than planes that can't hover.
- Fizzarolli's adult clown look was modeled after Mammon, wasn't it?
- Uhh..is that demonstrative violence, or is it actually pretty hard to permanently kill an imp? Hmmmmmmm.
- You might wanna ask questions when the guy who was raised here has an immediate panic attack and starts yelling "No no no" as soon as you arrive, guys? Blitzo, how have you lived this long being this vulnerable to flattery and this unable to recognize danger signals?
- All the trophies on the walls reminding us of the murder family. (Are those little hearts between the succubus wings the ends of their tails?) Blitzo's "please do not ask me details about my lucrative circus career" expression.
- WHAT? CALLED IT I CALLED IT OMG wow he's an idiot he's just stepped in the door and I want him dead already. Did you just say "two big sex reunions"? Excuse me those claws do not look practical even if most demons are into pain play. If you were really a sex god you’d have a couple of them trimmed all the way down.
- Blitzo erupting in jealousy. Yes, there's someone who's fucked both of them and it was not you. At least you haven't also slept with Chaz (although I am putting that down to chance and not any kind of good taste on your part).
- Huge-eyed baby Moxxie! Mom in shadow, what is she holding? flowers? Blitzo how can you possibly be this slow on the uptake?
- I am distracted from the cute grenade moment by the aesthetic atrocity that is Chaz's tail. What. How do you put on pants. It does seem to have been an actual relationship, though, or at least a fling. Moxxie get that nostalgic smile off your face oh my GOD that wasn't nostalgia.
- "Draw me like one of your French imps", huh? oh. Oh dear. Millie is 1000% better than this dirtbag in every possible way, why are you regretting him at all?
- HI BLITZO! Huh, they let him keep his boots in jail. Loona surely does not have a babysitter. Was he that overprotective? Or was he bullshitting? If so, it worked, you can see Moxxie’s face change at the idea of this guy as a loving dad. (Which he is! It just...works better if people imagine Loona is a young kid.)
- I thought that might be what Moxxie sees in Blitzo. Someone who gave him a way out of his old life, someone who's proven trustworthy despite his flaws. Not quite sure how to interpret Blitzo's expression on hearing this. A mixture of touched and regretful?
- Yeah, you fuck him up, MillWHOA that is a level of rage I did not expect. What did Chaz do to HER?
- PFFT Blitzo reverses it because "horseless friendfucker" is what Chaz is as far as he's concerned.
- Is Blitzo thinking: I don't talk about my dick like that. Do I? Please tell me I'm not this fucking obnoxious. Oh god keep this guy FAR away from Stolas.
- What the FUCK, Crimson. Homophobia, contempt, abuse, you're clearly the whole package, but you redecorated with neon dicks to insult your son?
- At least someone's happy.
- We're consistently not seeing mom's face and it is weirding me out. ohno. Not hard to tell where this is going. oh NO.
- Moxxie's tenderheartedness in "Murder Family" isn't so funny anymore is it. Burn the fucking mansion down, Moxxie. Millie will help and I doubt Blitzo will be opposed. I didn't see them confiscate your phones, so text them.
- Chaz you are making Blitzo look modest and tasteful.
- I completely forgot we hadn't had a musical number yet. Can we - can we skip it this once?
- BLITZO
- Did he just say "chill the fuck out?" Is he not having fun over there because I really hope he is not. I hope this is the worst lay of your life, Blitzo.
- Well, he doesn't look like he had fun. At all. Was this a ploy? No, he’s just an opportunistic chaos gremlin.
- Uh. Moxxie I admire your spine here, but not your brains. How are you going to keep him from cutting bits off Millie until you give in? I certainly hope you did something useful with that phone earlier. (Spoiler: He did not.)
- Oh! Blitzo's feet are just shaped like heeled boots. Wacky.
- Now THAT'S more the musical number I wanted.
- Millie. 10/10 no notes. Perfection. I'm not even gonna ask how they had enough time to repaint the banner and retrieve Blitzo's clothes (you know he'll be back in his own coat next episode).
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HITMAN SPRING ROADMAP 2023
Here's the full blogpost!
Details and my thoughts on them under the cut!
Elusive Targets, cool cool, happy for those who started late and still need to unlock the suits.
I'm also kinda happy to see a return of Featured Contracts, they're fun to figure out. Curated Contracts too, nice nice.
Paris and Sapienza as free locations is amazing for me, because that means I can take nice photos with NVIDIA Ansel. I don't own the game on PC. I'll definitely get a lot of use out of this!
Let's talk about MAY.
First patch for HITMAN WoA is coming in May.
Patch 3.150 will feature a bunch of fixes that has been reported by our community and we're adding a lot of QoL improvement to the whole game in general. Among all the fixes is the known issue regarding GPU memory leak (VRAM).
This patch will also have many tweaks, fixes, adjustments and QoL improvements specifically for HITMAN Freelancer.
Full patch notes and more information will come closer to May 11.
Can't wait for the patch notes to learn more about the QoL updates for the whole game. (But of course I'm also looking forward to a more balanced version of Freelancer)
New HITMAN Challenge: Boom Beats Blah w. unlock.
What will explode shortly after being thrown, but is also sharp enough to kill on impact? The exploding Pen, that’s what. On May 11, this very useful pen can be yours after you complete the new challenge called Boom Beats Blah where you need to Eliminate Craig Black with an explosion while he is reading.
Poetic?
Yes, poetic! Thank you! I love new challenges in this game, this one sounds fun and it's something 47 would actually do, aaaand I'm happy to see a return of the original Exploding Pen! 10/10!
HITMAN Freelancer Challenge: The HITMAN w. unlock
On May 11 we also add an awesome unlock to the HITMAN Freelancer challenge “The HITMAN”. Here the task is relatively straight forward, however not easy. You need to complete a Freelancer campaign with the Hardcore Mode Enabled. When you’re successful, you’ll unlock The Black Bruiser Suit. Maybe the most appropriate suit to wear after a full hardcore campaign.
If you’ve already completed "The HITMAN Challenge “in HITMAN Freelancer, you’ll automatically get the suit unlocked and added to your inventory when it becomes available.
I love this suit omg omg omg. Finally a reason to play Hardcore Mode, apart from just completing the trophy collection upstairs. This just increased my willingness to put up with Hardcore by 470%!
Contracts Mode Enabled on the ICA Training Facility.
From May 11 you can turn your favorite training yacht into your very own playground. We’re enabling Contracts mode on the ICA Training Facility. Get cracking, in this relatively safe entermeted.
Ahh that's so cool! Only the yacht though? I'm a moron, I completely forgot we already had contracts mode on the Final Test. xD
THE ROAD AHEAD
We’re just getting started, look forward to more Year 3 versions of Elusive Targets, as well as a chance to catch up on any Years 2 targets you may have missed. In addition, we will be introducing new unlocks, challenges, and a fresh escalation for you to sink your teeth into. We'll also be rolling out game patches throughout the year packed with fixes, tweaks and QoL improvements.
Keep in mind that some details may change as this is a tentative production plan, but this timeline should give you a good sense of what's to come in HITMAN World of Assassination in the months ahead.
Now this is interesting!
We'll get a new challenge with unlocks every month!
November will also give us contracts mode on Holiday Hoarders and Snow Festival! That's dope!
Really looking forward to all of this!
Thank you IOI, I love you!
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