Faking being a JW

I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness. It’s hard to say when I actually started doubting. But I know last October is when I went on IG and was talking to a transgender boy who asked me questions. The conversation ended with him saying “so you follow an old book, written by men who spoke to god that’s been translated several times?” And I went “...uh...yeaaahh?” And at that point I did the forbidden thing and looked up jw on the web, NOT jw.org. That’s THEIR website that’s been perfectly worded to brainwash you. Jw.facts is what you should look at. I haven’t read everything because there’s so much truth. Us ex jw call it ttatt- the truth about the truth.

So, a short summary of what you’re taught as a Jehovah’s Witness. Jehovah created EVERYTHING. Adam and Eve were perfect but given the choise to eat from the forbidden fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, aka TEMPTATION. They lived in paradise. Satan is an angel that Jehovah created who turned against him -and became a devil and wanted to do things his own way. So he got Eve to eat the fruit by turning into a snake and telling her basically “hey! Be like god knowing good and bad and you can do anything you want with his power”. So they both ate the fruit and Jehovah went “you didn’t listen to me so now you will live the rest of your days as imperfect men and die suffering” so then the Bible happened. Lost of stuff. And then uh...we are here now. Jesus is God’s son. He died for us, Jehovah “gave him up” for us and witnesses commemorate his memorial yearly. This is the wicked world and Jehovah is letting satan rule it to prove to us that he can’t. Which is selfish. At the end of this world is armegedon (is that how it’s spelled?) and after everyone is tested and given the opportunity to become a witness, this world will be destroyed and paradise will be here. But you will be welcome ONLY if you follow the Bible’s principles.

So, what I’ve learned is there are thousands of child abuse cases and pedos in “Gods organization” and the “governing body” cherry picks scriptures and twists them around to make us believe what they want us to hear. They say I do the same. I as in apostates. They say not to read apostate literature. Basically it’s anything speaking against gods word, the Bible. But really, we are being the truth out.

So I got baptized at 19. I dedicated my life to Jehovah and I “do all things for him” Which means once I start celebrating holidays, which Jehovah hates, and make public I’m reading apostate literature, which Jehovah hates, and celebrating my birthday, which Jehovah hates, and get tattoos and piercings and dye my hair crazy colors, against being “humble” which Jehovah loves, my dad will shun me. Treat me like I’m dead. That’s what you do when your jw family leave the cult. Yeah that’s what it actually is. Read the BITE model. Telltale atheist on YT did a video about it and its great.

The LOOPHOLE to staying a jw and being “part of the world” at the same time is to not become baptized. That way, if you don’t dedicate yourself to Jehovah, you aren’t “disowning” him. But even then your family may “pray and feel guilty” and still shun you. All depends how extreme your family is.

So what do I do for now? I pretend to be a jw. I told my parents 2 months ago I was “doubting the truth” and my dad called it a catastrophe because he believed I won’t make it to the new system. I can’t keep a bloody secret that’s my problem. I kept it for 6 months. I decided to tell them “I’m just tired and impatient” waiting for the new system to come. So now they aren’t worried anymore. Luckily, my “non blood related older sister” believed my “convincing” responces when she sent me links to the jw site. So she wasn’t worried anymore and that’s why she stopped sending links. So I’m a pimo. (PIMO- physically in mentally out. PIMI- physically in mentally in. POMI- physically out mentally in and POMO- physically out mentally out) I was a pimo at first for 6 months. Then I told them how I felt and I became a pimo. Then 2 months later I told them I’m better so I’m a pimo again. I didn’t tell her what I’ve learned because people on ex jw fb groups have told me that is a good way to get shunned and kicked out. So I just said “the end hasn’t come yet” and everyone gave me the same brainwashed answers.

As Jehovah’s witnesses you are supposed to go to weekly meetings twice a week. Go in service at least every Saturday and if you are a pioneer or auxiliary pioneer you go out daily. You go to yearly memorials, special day assemblies, 3 day district conventions, 2 day assemblies (now...these have changed throughout the years. In the 60’s there were something like 6 day conventions) you are supposed to pray and study- both for meetings and personal. Act a certain way, dress a certain way, speak a certain way, do recreation a certain way. It’s all controlled.

So...I’m waiting to move out. Which will be another post on why I need to wait. What my plans are. I just wanted to give a brief summary of my jw life. There will be stories in the future. This blog is about my life. And my life is full of events.