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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 4 months

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Free Rhys Darby ASMR Sources

So @hang-on-lil-tomato got me thinking with their post about Stede Story Time, I did all this research into all the Rhys Darby works and I realised I should probably compile it in case other folks are looking for the same things.

So yeah, I mean, Rhys doesn't do audio books as of yet, but man would that be amazing if he did. So for those of you who want to hear some good 'ol Rhys Darby voice, here's some sources. Please feel free to message me if you have more. ! I'd love to add them, and I'll tag ya :D

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Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet Youtube Compilations

Stede say'd Ed for a full Minute by justagaycatboy

Stede Bonnet being a bitch for 4 + mins by Rae Hamilton-Vargo

Stede Bonnet being the crew's dad for almost 4 minutes by grim weaper

Stede Bonnet screaming for 2 minutes 15 seconds by "Our Flag Means Death"

Stede Bonnet cursing for almost a whole minute by Murder Turtle

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TV or Mini Series

Rhys Darby in Japan (Freevee on Amazon)

So as someone who lived in Japan for a bit, this series is really really fun. It's awkward, and funny and it's almost all Rhys Darby as he's narrating and living the whole damn thing. There are quotes from this show that I use in my every day life, I love it so much.

Short Poppies (Freevee on Amazon)

Considering most of the characters in this show are in fact Rhys Darby, it's a great way to hear his very colourful range. I haven't seen all the episodes, but I find it quite endearing.

Intrepid Journeys (Rwanda) (Youtube/nzonscreen.com)

Ty @hang-on-lil-tomato and @meanmisscharles for this recommendation! I haven't watched it yet but here's the description:

"This Intrepid Journey sees comedian Rhys Darby taking an OE to the landlocked African country of Rwanda. Darby makes a bunch of friends in the markets of capital city Kigali, then heads on a jungle adventure. Far from the New York office of his Flight of the Conchords character Murray, he searches for critically endangered mountain gorillas. Darby is guided by François — a personable and entertaining park ranger, fluent in primate dialect — whose aping gives Darby a run for his money in gorilla impersonation. Darby is quietened by a sombre genocide memorial, and a 200 kilogram silverback."

Stand up

These are pretty self explanatory, wanna hear Rhys Darby talk for an hour or so? Stand ups the way to do it, all the voices you could want and no one interrupting him.

Rhys Darby I'm A Fighter Jet Rhys Darby: This Way Spaceship It's Rhys Darby Night Mystic Timebird

Youtube Shorts/Channels

Rhys' Youtube Channel featuring stand up shorts, sketches, Rhys' playing games and other fun stuff like "The Alone Rangers". All stuff I have to dive into, thanks again @hang-on-lil-tomato!

Movies

Love Birds (Included with Prime Video)

So if you follow @celluloidbroomcloset you have probably heard of Love Birds, and as someone who is totally normal for Rhys Darby, and loves birds and used to do rescue work, I have to day this movie is adorable. It's a really cute love story, and good god Rhys is hot AF. He and Sally Hawkins have amazing chemistry, and you get lots of good Rhys voice...in a romantic setting. I apologize ahead of time to any of you who lose your soul to this movie.

Coming & Going(Freevee)

So I haven't seen this one personally, so I can't speak to it (it's on my list for this week actually!) so I'll update this once I do.. but in the mean time, here's the description:

"When Lee (Rhys Darby), a young, skilled OBGYN who lacks confidence with women, suffers a minor injury that temporarily lands him in a wheelchair, he meets Alex (Sasha Alexander), the girl of his dreams. Convinced she has only paid attention to him because he's in that chair, he stays in it to win her affections well after his injury has healed."

Podcasts

The Cryptid Factor

You're gonna hear more than just Rhys, you'll hear from Dan Schreiber and Buttons (not ofmd buttons) and some other folks occasionally but you get to hear Rhys in his element, which is awesome because he is the goofy nerdy man we all know and love. The Cryptid Factor on Apple Podcasts

You can also go to their patreon and subscribe for free there-- the paid versions have video footage from a lot of shows and some other cool perks including stickers and book clubs and such.

Aliens Like Us

Thank you @hang-on-lil-tomato for this one! I hadn't found it before

General Reference to Works

Here's some overall guides to his various voice works (thank you again to @hang-on-lil-tomato )

--- Anyway -- hope that helps with your Rhys Darby very normalness :D

#rhys darby #how can i get any work done when rhys darby exists #rhys darby asmr #stede bonnet #ofmd #im totally normal about this #Spotify

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mel-on-cat · 6 months

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WE ARE SO BACK!!! :)

Kiss bonus ;)

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd fanart #ofmd spoilers #ofmd 2 #edward teach #blackbeard #stede x blackbeard #stede x ed #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #you wear fine things well #babygirl things #they are so in love #art #artists on tumblr #im totally normal about this #that kiss

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saltpepperbeard · 1 year

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Yes, I’m normal. No, I absolutely did not start squealing over these cookie sprinkles resembling a ✨certain character✨

#OFMD #Stede Bonnet #Revenge Rambles #…#anyway yeah I’m very much at that point where even certain COLORS stab me in the kidney #like any combo of red/purple/black and teal/gold/white just make me :)))#I’m normal #TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THIS SNXNWND

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activevirtues · 1 year

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, Fang (Our Flag Means Death), Ivan (Our Flag Means Death), Jim Jimenez, Spanish Jackie (Our Flag Means Death), Oluwande Boodhari, Wee John Feeney, Black Pete (Our Flag Means Death), Lucius Spriggs, Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death) Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Fix-It, Reunions, Angst, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Needs Therapy, Israel Hands is So Done, Pirate Justice, Stede Bonnet Has a Big Dick, Size Kink, Blow Jobs, Come Marking, Possessive Sex, Co-Captains? Summary:

“You want us to capture him at Spanish Jackie’s,” Izzy says after a long moment, flat and disbelieving.

“He will face pirate justice,” Blackbeard says darkly. “For his – his many crimes.”

“Boss...” Izzy begins, and now his face is doing something else, and it’s even worse.

“His crimes against piracy, which as I stated just now are many, such as – such as –”

“You could send me to kill him,” Izzy suggests, and it’s almost gentle, which is the absolute worst thing.

“Pirate justice,” Ed hisses, trying for menacing. “Pirate crimes.”

#ofmd #ofmd fic #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard reunion #stede bonnet has a big dick #edward teach my beloved #edward teach needs therapy #co-captains?#a show i'm totally normal about #blackbeard/stede #this author is a kraken apologist #metaphorical tentacles only this time guys

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girlthatlikestotalk · 2 years

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no but the last scene of 1.05 (my favorite episode so far). like stede saying “you wear fine things well”. ed staring at him Like That. stede staring right back. them having a Realization. them realizing that they’ve been staring for too long. awkwardly saying goodnight. ed clapping stede on the arm to try to diffuse the obvious tension. them walking away. ed touching the hankerchief. THEM LOOKING BACK. SEEING THE OTHER LOOKING BACk. i am So Normal about this

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means death spoilers #blackstede #stede bonnet #edward blackbeard #ofmd episode 5 #yup totally normal about this

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ethaniscool69 · 7 months

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i just got insanely sad abt these two (also i was bored in multiple of my classes) so i whipped this out for our sad sad hearts

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach #gentleman pirate #blackbeard #gentlebeard #ed x stede #i'm deffo gonna be drawing a sad izzy bc i'm so totally normal about him and #what do you mean?? i'm not rethinking his whole character while he's becoming my favorite one #YOU ARE!!

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somekindofcontraption · 5 months

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"Acceptable Violence" in OFMD Season 2: deconstructing violence within the context of the show's parameters

I've been doing a lot of thinking about violence and the second season of Our Flag Means Death. I've come to some conclusions that I would like to share, but I would like to preface my thoughts with a disclaimer or two:

I did not like the second season, for myriad reasons, some of which I will outline here. But I am not here to attack you if you liked the season. I am not here to make commentary on who you are as a person or your personal taste if you liked the season. My not liking the season does not mean you can't like the season. In short: my dislike of the season is not about you at all! Also, this is not an academic paper. Which doesn't mean I might not do that in the future, but for now this is just an assembly of analysis and thoughts. If you do not care to read analytical criticism of something you deeply enjoyed? I invited you to scroll onward. If you liked the second season but would like to hear some of the reasons why many, including myself, didn't - carry on! The rest is under the cut.

The first season of Our Flag Means Death dips its toes into the world of piracy by following the unfolding story of Stede Bonnet, the newly minted former aristocrat-turned-pirate who dreams of a new sort of piracy; a gentler, more polite means of pirating. Things, as they said, did not go according to plan. The first season does an excellent job of laying the complex groundwork for an in-world set of principles which tell us what sort of violence is "normal" or "acceptable" in the context of the show and what isn't. (Please assume from here on out that when I say acceptable and normal the "quotes" are implied, as I am not talking about what is acceptable and normal in real life.) It does this through narrative framing, by softening more intense instances of violence through comedy and by pushing it off-screen, and by establishing who is a good guy and who is Not. Unacceptable: Stede Bonnet getting beat on, tied up, and bullied by the Badmintons and their ilk as a child. He's soft and likes flowers! He's got a mean dad! No one likes bullies! It's framed as a negative, it's not super funny (the camera cuts to Stede's face both in the past and present looking distressed, and Stede is the hero, so this can be generally accepted as bad.) This leads us to: Acceptable: Badminton getting whacked over the head and falling on his own sword. This I would categorize as what people have been referring to as "looney tune violence." He was a bully! He's part of a colonial navy! He was being absolutely horrible to Stede! It's funny that Stede is so inept!

Stede feels guilty about it, it causes him trauma, but that trauma is treated, quite often, comedically (see Badminton's "ghost" taunting him, characters treatment of his breakdown, etc). The context clues for whether or not this is acceptable violence are baked right into the writing, too. Oluwande says - claiming that Stede killed Badminton on purpose would gain him the respect of his crew. This is violence that in-world is both acceptable, expected, and also respected for the captain of a pirate ship. (See also: Murdering and/or tying up the remaining British navy crew and putting them through the same thing Stede went through. It's framed as triumphant, Stede having been vindicated, the crew celebrating it as a victory.) Unacceptable: Stede's concept of "soft piracy" of course comes crashing down when his whimsical attempt to woo the Spanish navy is cut short by his getting gut-stabbed.

Stede and the crew are being framed as the heroes of the story and the Spaniards are framed as the bad guys; this setup is why this violence, while totally within the realms of something our crew would do, is categorized as unacceptable. It's also important to note, however, that while it could have been quite a bit more graphic and disturbing if shot differently, the swelling symphony, the comedic cuts of the Spaniards triumphantly getting their ass kicked, softens the blow. Other acceptable instances of violence: The snail fork - horrifying if you think about it, but the narrative softens the blow. The guy was just really racist, giving us a sense of vindictive pleasure, and the violence is all off-screen (we don't actually have to see someone getting skinned with a snail fork). The French ship - again, horrifying if you think too much about people trapped on a burning ship in the middle of the ocean. But, they had all just been huge racist shit-heads who had harmed our heroes. In the context of the narrative, it is framed as being justified. We also don't actually see anyone burning to death, and we get a very funny shot of Ed looking at Stede in awe, and Stede looking very please with himself, confirming in-narrative that this was okay. Other unacceptable instances of violence:

Karl the bird - Jack is framed as an antagonist; he comes between Ed and Stede, obstructing the narrative subplot. Buttons, and by extension Karl, are part of the crew, the heroes. When Karl dies Buttons is devastated, everyone looks uncomfortable, and it's the last straw for Stede to kick Jack off the ship. Plus, there's the an "innocent character" thing similar to Stede as a child getting bullied; Karl was an animal, with no defenses, who did nothing wrong.

Finally, of course, we arrive at the moment that Lucius is pushed from the ship. Unacceptable: By all accounts, pushing people from ships is probably not outside the realm of things that pirates Definitely Do. But here we have another great instance of framing heroes and bad guys. In this case, we have a hero (Ed), seemingly killing another hero (Lucius), who was not only just trying to help him, but was absolutely not expecting violence. We also have a "death" that happened off-screen. We don't see Lucius "drowning." Had Lucius actually died, I think this would have been horrifying. Narratively and thematically, it would not have fit into the spirit of the show, because you could no longer frame Ed as a hero. There would be no real way that I can see to meaningfully redeem him in the context of a comedy, even a "black comedy" (which I do not believe OFMD is). And genuinely, I don't know anyone who thought Lucius was actually dead, so while what Ed did was horrible and awful and needed to be atoned for, it wasn't Final. It wasn't Irredeemable. He didn't become a capital v Villain. The rules of the first season made sense to me. Everything that happened fit narratively, was thematically appropriate, and established a certain set of rules and conventions to follow. It gets dark, and it does push the envelope of what I could bear in a "romantic comedy." Ed cutting off Izzy's toe is tempered (cutting off his littlest toe with a comedically large pair of scissors) but feeding them to him is disturbing. Izzy was an antagonist, not a villain, so giving him treatment reserved for, say, the British navy characters, and doing so graphically and on-screen, was A Lot. This coming from me, who really, REALLY hated Izzy at this point in time. But I think there was an underlying sense of hope that things would improve, resolve, and move forward through character growth and narrative. Stede was coming back to make amends; maybe Ed would find his way back to normalcy, and they'd meet in the middle. It was expected that apologies would be made and Ed could come back from the unacceptable things he did to Lucius, to the Crew, and to Izzy especially. That there would be character and interpersonal growth for them.

Unfortunately, the second season is where the show's parameters around acceptable and unacceptable violence absolutely falls apart. It's never quite clear why something is acceptable vs not, and we never see the character and interpersonal growth "promised" by the narrative which would redeem the dark tonal shift and veer the story back towards comedy. In order for Ed to be redeemed, the violence being framed as unacceptable during his Kraken era could not be so unacceptable that it crosses the line into irredeemable. Ed could not cross the line in the minds of the audience from "hero" to "villain." But the first three episodes of the season... were dark. They crossed the line. It felt like a character assassination to me. Ed's abuse of the crew, the continued maiming of Izzy (who at this point is hurdling into a sympathetic character arc of growth and redemption,) the self-harm, the attempted murder-suicide of his crew... most of it was on-screen, not at all tempered by comedy, and brutal. It wasn't heroes vs villains, it was supposed hero causing extensive harm and trauma to other heroes. The writing in these episodes were narratively cohesive and well-paced. They were not, however, thematically appropriate to a romantic comedy. At this point in the season I still felt like it was building towards a breaking point where Ed would come back to himself, where character growth would be achieved, and amends would be made. I was willing to hold tight.

But it didn't work in terms of the story that was setup in season one. It would have taken an incredible amount of character growth to even begin to come back from that; but I trusted the narrative to deliver. However, the real problem is that this season tried to rewrite the in-show parameters of what constitutes acceptable violence in ways that are uncomfortable and contrary to reality in ways that I find harmful. (I will be clear, in reference to recent discourse, I do feel the head-butt was comedic. It was looney tunes violence, it was well within the context of a romantic comedy, and it worked for me tonally, even though it's obviously not appropriate in real life.) Ed's chair throwing in the context of a man who had spent three episodes inflicting increasingly terrible domestic violence on people who loved and cared for him, who stuck by him -- in the larger context of him doing all this just because he felt rejected by a romantic partner -- is presented as in-show acceptable violence. It's presented as falling within the parameters. Proof? We are expected to still like Ed, and root for Ed, and want Ed to get better, and cheer for the romantic pairing "getting back together," and everything else. He is still presented as a hero. Sure, the show is telling us that what Ed did in his Kraken era is bad; but not so Bad that we shouldn't forgive him for it when he has made no real move to make amends for what he did. Like the crew, and Izzy specifically, we are meant to simply... move forward. That line about "getting away with it" without consequences I thought was a commentary on how Ed would not get to do that, actually was just... what happened. The season also wants me to believe that in the in-show parameters that Ed would hurt absolutely anybody but DEFINITELY NOT Stede, because Stede is his ultra super special soul mate and he would never do him any harm. This is not how things work in real life, and it is not a disbelief I am willing to suspend uncritically. Do I believe Ed, in the context of the show, would hurt Stede? Nope. I think it's more likely Stede would hurt Ed than the other way around. But I don't like the message that this in-show parameter sends, about how violence, particularly DV, is inflicted. I don't like being told that there is a super special person that this person who has abused others won't hurt. It's a bad message, and bad writing, and bad in-show precedence to set.

I'm not going to say all this without mentioning the stereotypes surrounding men of color, particular Indigenous men, which paints them as abusers. These stereotypes have been mentioned in regards to people talking about Ed's abuse this season. It's important to examine and be critical of oneself as a white person, and look long and hard at these biases. I don't want to fall into the trap of racist biases, and I don't want it to go unmentioned. I have thought long and hard about this. I've done a lot of self-examination on the subject of Ed and abuse. It has brought me back to my point of character assassination; I think the show fell into those stereotypes itself. I think Ed's characterization this season was problematic, and a disservice to the character as laid out in season one, and that's a big part of my disappointment with this season. (I also have a lot of thoughts on how Stede's character, who has been handed an immense amount of power over Ed and his agency as a character, is also extremely problematic. I will get into that in another post; it needs its own. So I'm not here to say Stede himself is not a Problem because he absolutely is and I will shout it from the rooftops.) "But somekindofcontraption," you say! "Ed has trauma!" Yes. That is very true. And it certainly explains some things, but as in real life, it absolutely does not excuse them. Ed's narrative was all about the perpetuation of trauma, particularly generational trauma, with absolutely no criticism or breakage of this cycle in any meaningful or productive way. It set up the story and did no work to resolve it. Ed was simply fixed because he and Stede said I love you and kissed a few times. The romance's "resolution" was unearned and unsatisfying. Neither Stede nor Ed were held accountable for what they did.

Then there was Izzy, who spent the whole of his arc being redeemed, moving forward as a character. He was the only character, I would say, with any meaningful growth. He's also the only one whose story was explicitly about being queer and queer discovery, rather than queerness merely being and incidental part of it. He's the only one who shows any accountability. Right up until the point that he died, his story was the best-written out of all of them. Then he dies. Izzy's death, and the ways that tonally it does not fit into the narrative, is another post onto itself. For now, I'll leave you with all of these rambling thoughts, condensed down as best I could into this tumblr post. If you have any further thoughts, I would love to hear them in good faith. For now, I say, that it's okay to be disappointed. This story was so meaningful to so many, and to be so thoroughly let down is hard. Grief is grief. Take care out there, and be kind to yourself, and be kind to those that are grieving.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #ofmd analysis

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panic-at-your-hetalian · 8 months

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im totally normal about Stede Bonnets new outfits for season 2 :) (disclaimer: im not)

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #rhys darby

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triflesandparsnips · 2 years

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3. Stede has found/developed "safe" ways to physically interact with people.

Whomst among us hasn't, really.

Figure 1. Two men decide to be friends in a totally normal manner and not at all after a life-changing 24 hours of wild shenanigans.

Stede has figured out some Safe Social Touching:

Specifically, hand shakes. He can do those. He can stick out his hand first, or he can accept someone else's. The majority of any skin-on-skin contact he has with his crew comes when Ed invites everyone to come and shake Stede's hand in episode 4.

(We do see that Stede prepares his bare hands for fisticuffs with Jim, which I am choosing to call another Social Touch based on how/where Stede would've learned it.)

Stede also shows his own social displeasure with hand shakes. He only offers his hand to Calico Jack after Ed's introduced them; he doesn't offer his hand at all to Doug. (He does, however, offer his hand to Izzy following their initial meeting in episode 2. And Izzy declines to take it.)

When Stede interacts with the crew -- and sometimes with Ed, in the beginning -- he often does so in a way that can read as patronizing in the literal sense: a careful idea of fatherhood.

He bends over into people's spaces when teaching or monitoring -- specifically the flag crafts and the lesson on fine dining. (This is an interesting reversal of Father Bonnet's idea of how to "nurture" and care for tiny Stede, with the bending down and yelling in his face.)

Stede invites Jim and Olu to sit on his couch with him by patting the cushions, settling Olu's cushion behind him, and then patting both their thighs twice. He then spends the rest of the conversation with his hands clasped together, not even touching them when they're all startled by the cannon fire. Is that initial "sit with me" junk particularly father-like? Nah. Is it paternalistic? ...Frankly, kinda yeah.

Lucius is a weird one here. He's consistently referred to as "the boy," even though he's of an age with several other members of the crew. His role on board is that of, apparently, the scribe Stede narrates his journal to (which comes off as a "how to be a pirate, the stede bonnet way" kind of educational text). However, Lucius is also someone that Stede is remarkably free with in terms of touch and emotional truths -- Stede will let Lucius touch him comfortingly, and with Lucius Stede confirms the kind of feelings he has for Blackbeard (or what he thinks his feelings are, at any rate). Something something queer family something.

Finally, of special note in this paternalism category is when Roach has let the prisoners go off by themselves in episode 2 -- Stede approaches him and telegraphs a very heavy Serious Moment of Disappointment by putting his hand on Roach's shoulder. This is disciplinary!Stede, and it's markedly different from how other people on the show (including Stede himself, with Ed) may clasp one another's shoulders.

Figure 2. Local captain gears self up to be Seriously Disappointed with someone.

When Stede tries to indicate closeness to someone, he's starts off pretty weird about it (and continues weird about it, tbh).

Stede tends to kneel next to someone when he's trying to specifically show fondness or closeness. We see this when he's presenting the model ship to Mary and in how he plays with his children in episode 4; we see it when he comforts Ed in episode 6; again in episode 7, when he kneels behind the couch to offer Ed co-captaincy; and again in episode 10 when he kneels beside the bed to wake Mary up.

Figure 3. A closeted man tries very hard to show as much physical intimacy as possible to the mother of his children and wife of many years.

We also see the reversal of this, though, which is why I'm calling it deliberate -- he stops kneeling when Mary shows displeasure at the model ship.

This kneeling action seems to be a way for him to give the appearance of closeness while not actually committing to it. For his own safety? For the other person's comfort? No clue. It's weird. But he does it a lot.

Stede approaches intimacy from an angle-- which is to say, Stede finds that being at a right angle to someone is a fairly safe way to be "in" someone's space without getting too close (and inviting the possibility for either violence or rejection).

180 degrees (side by side) is the safest of all possible angles, since it allows the other person to choose not to interact with Stede at all: Stede and Mary when they meet; Stede and Ed sitting on the ship's deck; at the Bridgetown tavern counter when Jeffrey approaches.

However, Stede's go-to "intimacy" angle is 90 degrees: he's at right angles to Ed during their dawn breakfast; is drawn into a right angle during their kiss; is drawn to sit at an angle to the men at the table in the tavern (the widest degree of which is 90); Mary and Stede hug at right angles; Stede wakes Mary up the next morning at a right angle.

"Intimacy" here has a lot of meanings, and not always positive ones-- Stede himself turns the 180 degree pissing contest with Calico Jack into a right angle as he confronts Jack about Ed.

Stede's angles gets more acute the more certain he is of his physical reception with someone (or if he's feeling confident enough to try and invite someone closer, for good or ill reasons): when he and Ed are laughing together while sitting with the crew on the deck they're turned more acutely toward one another; during Stede and Ed's kiss, he turns himself to make the angle more acute; Stede's children are angled closely toward him when they're ripping Stede's clothes for his faked death.

Figure 4. Two good friends angled toward one another and maybe also one of them is touching the other's knee, you know, like friends do

Close face-to-face interaction tends to be either highly practiced (handshakes, disciplinary action) or a form of violence (Father Bonnet's face-to-face yelling, Mary's directly-across-the-table displeasure, the mocking Bridgetown man at the tavern table, Ed's "stab me" homosocial bro attempt at intimacy, and, again, disciplinary action).

However, with regard to creating "safe" circumstances for himself: There's a level of comfort Stede seems to feel around those he believes can't hurt him and, frankly, people of color. This is something I'd like to get other people to weigh in on, particularly in light of the results below:

While Stede doesn't directly touch the (white) English prisoner in episode 3, he does loosen the gag and use the intermediary object of the leash more than a little -- it shifts back and forth between his and Lucius's hand at least twice.

Izzy is white, but he's also lowerclass and a first mate rather than a captain -- Stede can be "safe" getting into his space. The same thing occurs when Stede is at his angriest with Doug, Mary's painting tutor -- despite having far greater provocation from any number of people from his own class.

Stede is perfectly capable of avoiding most touch, even the grazing kind that I would think otherwise unlikely in a busy scene -- notably when he's walking around and dodging people in the Republic of Pirates and in the Bridgetown tavern scene. However, on the Revenge, Stede regularly gets into people's spaces or permits them into his space... and the numbers suggest that with the exception of Lucius, Stede is largely touch-averse when it comes to the white members of his crew.

When Buttons gets closer to Stede during the mutiny discussion, Stede verbally holds his ground but tenses up and leans away from Buttons as he gets into Stede's space. In the same episode, Stede only bends down into Wee John's space after he's set up this paternal-teaching craft situation, and Wee John is temporarily recategorized as a child rather than bloodthirsty pirate. With Buttons, we have exactly one other touch (when Stede's given the bottle of booze from Buttons following the duel in episode 6) -- and we don't get any other touch with Wee John for the rest of the season. Similar numbers play out with the Swede and Black Pete. In contrast, the numbers for Olu, Roach, and Jim are significantly higher, and Frenchie is fairly up there as well.

Figure 5. Local captain bravely manages not to run away despite approaching Scotsman who's getting much too close, to be honest

The greatest amount of skin-on-skin contact, along with a hefty dose of emotional trust, Stede has with anyone is with the elderly tribal member from episode 2. It's deeply weird. We don't get anything similar anywhere else, with the exception of Ed's kiss (a man of color) and Mary's hug (a woman over whom Stede has legal and social power).

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ONWARDS:

-> Review the raw data and notes

-> Go to part 1: Stede wants to be touched, but is afraid of it.

-> Go to part 2: Stede will avoid touch to protect himself.

-> Go to part 4: The top three people who touch Stede, or who Stede touches, are Ed, Mary, and Izzy.

#our flag means death #stede bonnet #meta #touch #multipart essay #pirate data science #omfdedits #had to make my own dang gifs for some of this

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gonzo-rella · 2 years

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Talk It Through As A Crew (pt. 2) | Izzy Hands (ft. The (Reunited) Crew Of The Revenge)

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

PART 1, PART 2

Requested by: Anon

I love your work!! If you still want ofmd requests… maybe a part two to “talk it through as a crew” where everyone gets back together and everything’s settled except for Izzy. Then reader confronts Izzy? They yell at him for abandoning them and maybe even throw a punch.

But Izzy doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t yell or try to stop them. Just takes it. That pulls reader out of their anger and they’re more concerned. They reach out to him, telling him they forgive him, and that’s when he does something.

He’s furious with himself for what happened and wants the reader to be mad at him, maybe if they took it out on him, he’d feel better.

Reader comforts him?

Just angst with a happy ending, please.

Relationship(s): Izzy Hands x gn!reader (romantic), Oluwande Boodhari, Lucius Spriggs and Stede Bonnet x gn!reader (platonic)

Summary: Somehow, everything is relatively back to normal. Well, everything except things between you and Izzy. Concerned that you’re bottling things up, Stede, self-appointed relationship therapist, suggests that you talk things through with Izzy, who (surprisingly) doesn’t protest.

Warnings: Intense (one-sided) arguing (like my parents pre-divorce), description of an injury (and the worsening of said injury). (Let me know if I need to add any)

Word count: 3.1k

(A/N: To quote my post-season 1 finale Blackbonnet x reader one-shot, this fic reaches ‘‘somehow, Palpatine returned’ levels of me not explaining how on Earth we got here’. I took some creative liberties with this request, though it’s quite faithful to the request, I’d say. That previous statement isn’t to say I don’t ever take creative liberties with requests. Creative Liberties is my middle name- my full legal name is Soph Creative Liberties Writesfanfic. Also, Lucius is alive (as he should be). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this!)

“Doesn’t look broken.” Roach shrugged, holding your wrist as he examined your hand.

“Fucking feels it.” you hissed out through gritted teeth.

“I doubt it’s broken. Maybe a bit fucked up, but not broken.” Olu (the one who had escorted you to the galley) tried. He patted you on the shoulder. His noticeable veneer of calmness wasn’t lost on you; you could tell how concerned he actually was. “No offence, but punching really isn’t your strong suit.”

You probably would have laughed if you weren’t in total agony.

“I’ll just clean your hand, bandage it up- should be fine.” Roach said nonchalantly. “If you need to punch something, you should probably use the other hand. For a while, at least.”

“Or, maybe hold off on the punching entirely.” Olu quickly suggested.

“If they’ve gotta punch, they’ve gotta punch, man.”

With that, Roach went to gather the supplies he needed, leaving you and Oluwande by yourselves.

He cleared his throat.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m pretty good, considering I just punched the rock-solid bloody mast.”

“I meant… well, you obviously didn’t just deck it for no reason, did you?” He looked at you with worry in his eyes. “Did anything bring it on?”

“I made eye contact with him for too long.” you admitted. “I don’t think I’ve got any tears left in me. So, I didn’t know what else to do to get out the… rage and other feelings.”

“Alright.” Olu nodded.

He paused and glanced between your hand and your pained face.

“I get why you’ve been giving him the cold shoulder for all this time- I really do. I’m actually surprised you haven’t, like, hit him or yelled at him or anything yet. Well, aside from when you kicked him in the shin when we first got back.” Olu stated. “But, I don’t think avoiding him and ignoring him’s doing you any good.”

He used his head to gesture to your hand, thus punctuating his point. You bit your lip.

“I think you should speak to him.”

You clenched your jaw.

“He doesn’t give a shit about what I have to say.” you muttered. “I think he made that perfectly clear when he marooned me.

“And besides,” you went on. “He already apologised to us. What else can I expect him to do? Get on his knees and beg for forgiveness?”

The thought of Izzy grovelling at your feet was more disconcerting than cathartic considering his usual demeanour, though you couldn’t say you entirely disapproved of the idea. Still, you couldn’t really expect it; he would barely (and begrudgingly) do it for Ed, but not you. It’s not like he deserted Ed on an island, after all…

“Exactly.” Olu answered. “That’s why you need to do something.”

Blinking away your tears, you shook your head. Finally, you glanced up at Olu.

“I'll just… not punch anything again.” you said weakly. Your gaze fell back down to your hand. “I’ll get over it.”

━━━━━━━━━

While Roach scrubbed at the blood on your hand, Lucius stepped cautiously into the kitchen.

“Just to warn you, Captain Bonnet wants you when you’re done with this.”

He approached you and cringed upon seeing your hand.

“Oh, that’s not good.” he commented.

“Thanks for the observation, Dr Spriggs.” you retorted dryly. “Remind me to seek your expert medical opinion the next time I get injured.”

You knitted your brows when you noticed him anxiously wringing his hands. That paired with the lack of a biting response and a glare alerted you to the fact that something was amiss. Perhaps he didn’t have the heart to fight back (which was so unlike him, you thought). You suspected it had something to do with his announcement.

“What is it?” you practically whined.

He swallowed his saliva.

“Um,” he faltered. He scratched his face. “It’s just… I really don’t think you’re going to like what the Captain has planned.”

“I rarely do.”

“I mean it.” Lucius insisted.

The grave look in his eyes near enough sent a chill down your spine.

“Lucius…” Oluwande said suspiciously.

“I can’t say what it is.” Lucius stated adamantly. “Y/N won’t come, otherwise.”

“I could just not go anyway.”

“Everyone else is going to be there!”

You looked at him incredulously. Immediately, he realised that he had fucked up. In any other situation, you supposed the fear of missing out would have compelled you to attend. That said, you had to wonder what in the world possessed him to think that that would be a selling point given the circumstances.

“So, there’s going to be an audience for this thing?”

“Well, Captain Bonnet told them to go away, but everyone wants to watch. There wasn’t much he could do.”

Picking up on your decreasing desire to leave the galley, Lucius folded his arms and sighed.

“He really wants you to go.”

You took in a deep breath and closed your eyes.

Stede was the one who rescued you from the island. Without him, you’d more than likely be dead, so, ever since he saved you, you felt indebted to him. The least you could do to repay him was this one thing, even if you were going into it knowing that you were in for a miserable ride, right? From the way Lucius was talking about whatever this was, you guessed you’d probably come out of it wishing Stede just left you to die.

“Tell him we’ll be up in a minute,” you caved in. “But, I can’t promise I won’t throw myself overboard.”

━━━━━━━━━

When you, Roach and Olu arrived on the main deck, most of your crewmates were leaning against the railing in a faux-nonchalant manner. It seemed as though they’d been told to pretend that they weren’t anticipating your arrival with bated breath. Your cheeks burned beneath all of their stares. Oluwande patted you on the back and retreated to Jim’s side, while Roach joined Frenchie and Wee John.

Your throat felt tight when your eyes landed on the only two who weren't situated on the sidelines: Stede and… Izzy. The latter of the pair stood there with folded arms. You were surprised they didn’t have to tie him up.

You looked to Stede expectantly, awaiting an explanation you were sure you could figure out for yourself.

“You need to sort things out with Izzy.”

Izzy shrugged him off when Stede clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I decked the mast, alright?” you blurted. “But, there’s nothing to sort out. He left, like, half of us for dead on an island, and it was a beyond shitty thing to do. That’s it.”

“We all… know, Y/N,” Stede admitted. “And it’s okay! I promise. This is a safe space.”

You froze. You were well aware that the other six who had been marooned with you knew about your feelings, but everyone else? You glanced around. Everyone awkwardly averted their gaze.

“Y/N?” Stede asked. He approached you, brows furrowed in concern, and rested a hand on your shoulder.

“That confession was supposed to die with me on that island he left us on.”

Stede gently seized your forearm and dragged you closer to Izzy, who was watching you with an unreadable expression; you stared back at him with wide, uncertain eyes. You swallowed your saliva and shook your head. Stede held you in place so that you were only a couple of feet away from the man you least wanted to see.

“Stede, I’m not- this is mortifying!”

“Come on, Y/N.” Stede insisted. He backed away. “Say what you need to say.”

“I don’t need to say anything.”

“You punched the mast because you looked at him, mate!” Olu argued. “You said yourself that you’re full of rage and… other feelings- now’s your chance to let it out without fucking up another part of your body.”

“You could punch him with the hand that isn’t broken.” Jim suggested.

Olu sighed and sent them a disapproving look.

You inadvertently mirrored Izzy’s stance by folding your arms, then looked down at your feet as you shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m not punching him.”

“Can I punch him?” Black Pete requested hopefully.

Not bothering to dignify his plea with a response, you rolled your eyes and looked at Stede.

“Don’t you think this is a bit pointless?” you asked. “It was a complete dick move for him to leave us on the sodding island, but it’s not his problem that…”

“Go on.” Stede prompted.

“That my… feelings were hurt.” you reluctantly admitted through gritted teeth.

“Alright- we’re getting somewhere!” Stede rejoiced, clasping his hands.

You finally looked at Izzy again.

“This’d be a really good time for you to insult this whole exercise and storm off.” you commented bitterly.

It was the first time you’d spoken to him in the three weeks you’d been back.

He just stared blankly at you, a stoic expression settled on his face. You glared at him.

“Nothing? Really? You’re going to go with ‘nothing’? Fucking typical!” you fumed. “You-you abandoned me in the middle of the fucking ocean and all I got was one lousy apology three weeks ago and jackshit else!”

When he displayed no visible reaction, you chewed your tongue irritably. An exhale escaped your nostrils.

“We’ve known each other for years, and this is still all I get?” you ranted, your voice cracking slightly. “I thought, after all this time, I’d be worth at least something to you, but I’m not even worth not being left for dead, and I’m barely worth a fucking explanation!”

Nothing. Again. Though you bit your lip, you were unable to contain another trembling huff. Tears built in your eyes, but you were too emotional to be embarrassed. Not only that but you guessed most, if not all, of the spectators were on your side (and desperate for you to tear into Izzy).

“I don’t know if I’m more of an idiot for feeling anything for you in the first place or not being able to fucking stop.”

The tears began to spill, prompting you to avert your gaze. You absently massaged your injured knuckles.

“I don’t even have the sense to hate you.” you continued, your voice now significantly quieter. “I thought I did. I really thought you’d managed to do it. But, when we got back to the ship I saw you and I realised... you can fuck me over, and I can hate that… but not you.”

You looked back up at him and were met with that same stony expression.

“Fucking say something, Iz!”

Nope.

“I deserve at least something.” you said, your voice a mixture feeble yet furious. “I know we weren’t exactly ‘friends’, but we were whatever the equivalent of ‘friends’ is for miserable pricks who are too embarrassed to consider people ‘friends’. I mean, that’s why I defended you whenever these guys’d get pissed off at you for being a dick.”

You paused expectantly. Unfortunately, you were (once again) disappointed. You groaned and marched towards him, closing the gap between the two of you. The crew leaned forward in anticipation, the majority of them appearing too excited about what they thought was going to happen. Without thinking, you struck Izzy’s chest with the palm of your injured hand, not bothering to meet his gaze or check for any sign of pain on his face (you guessed your efforts were in vain). You then balled up your hand into a fist and slammed it into his chest again. Part of you doubted it actually hurt him, which was why you decided to continue. You wouldn’t admit that you didn’t really want to hurt him. From the sidelines, you heard some satisfied muttering.

“Say something!” you demanded, interrupted by a series of sobs. You continued slamming your hand into his chest. Another series of sobs escaped your lips, while tears of frustration and pain leaked from your eyes. “Fucking say something! Stop giving me nothing after everything I’ve given you! Just… give me something!”

“Y/N,” Stede hesitated. When you didn’t look at him, he stepped forward. “I don’t think that’s very good for your hand-”

“Fuck my hand! What’s a bit more fucking pain?”

Without saying anything for roughly ten seconds, you hit Izzy in the chest with increased frequency and intensity (still not enough to injure him).

“Say… something…” you croaked.

Slowly but surely, everything- the slamming, the sobbing, the speaking- came to a stop. You rested your hand on Izzy’s chest.

Finally, you dared to look up at his face. It was the same as before- hard, unbothered. However, when you locked eyes with him, you discovered something else.

“I-Iz?”

Your voice was soft and pained, just like Izzy’s eyes.

After a moment of consideration, you cleared your throat and (without looking at Stede) declared, “I’m borrowing your cabin.”

“Oh. Alright.” Stede agreed, albeit with confusion and mild concern.

You grabbed Izzy’s wrist and began dragging him to the aforementioned location.

“Don’t fall for it, Y/N!” Lucius protested. “I’ve been given that look so many times, and not once did any of them mean it.”

“I’m not off to shag him, Lucius.” you huffed, not bothering to stop.

“Oh. Right. That’s fine then.”

When you arrived in the cabin, you let go of Izzy’s wrist. You weren’t completely sure of what you were going to say, but you knew it wasn’t a conversation that should’ve taken place in front of the whole crew (not that you had wanted their audience before).

Wordlessly, you looked up at him as you considered what you wanted to say and how you wanted to say it.

“What you did was fucked, Iz. Completely and utterly fucked.” you began, sniffling and furiously swiping at your tears. “But… I know you’re actually sorry because you let that whole thing out there happen without killing me or Stede.”

You bit your lip and, hesitantly, placed your hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not okay, but… I can forgive you for it.”

Relaxing beneath your touch, he let out a trembling sigh.

“And,” you added hastily. “I’m sorry for hitting you. It hurt me more than it hurt you, literally, but still… you don’t hit people that you… y’know.”

“You don’t leave them for dead, either.” he muttered. “Don’t apologise.”

He watched you silently, unable to tell if you’d managed to pick up on the significance of his words.

“I don’t want you to forgive me for my sake.” Izzy insisted. “I only want you to do it for yours.”

“Trust me, Iz,” you sighed, lifting up your damaged hand. “This is for me.”

He stared at it. His breath hitched in his throat. You felt him grow tense once again.

“You shouldn’t ‘ve done that.”

“I know.” you answered lightheartedly, removing your hand from his shoulder to massage the injured one in an attempt to soothe the pain. “Fucking kills.”

“No. I meant you… should’ve just punched me instead.”

“Probably.”

Izzy went silent.

“I’m kidding, Iz.” you reassured him.

“I’m not."

“Iz…”

You reached out to grab his arm but he recoiled.

“I don't deserve this.”

“Deserve what?”

“Things going back to how they were before.” Izzy replied. “You should still be pissed off at me, not forgiving me and apologising to me and joking around like everything’s alright.”

You sighed.

“I know everything isn’t alright. It probably won’t be completely alright for a while.” you stated. “But, I’m feeling kinda better now, after saying all of my shit- it’s like we’re a step closer to ‘alright’.”

After an uncertain pause, you timidly asked: “Could you… say something, please?”

Izzy ran his hand over his face. He knew exactly what you meant, and he was surprised that he’d managed to avoid explicitly expressing it.

“You mean the world to me.” he confessed. “I didn’t show it when I left you for dead, but that’s how I feel.”

“Why’d you do it, Iz?”

He hesitated.

“The idea of loving you still absolutely fucking terrifies me. I had a chance to push you away for good when I was gonna get rid of the rest of the crew anyway, and I took it. I know it’s a shit explanation-”

“I get it.” you interrupted. “It’s not a great reason to leave someone for dead. Of course I don’t agree with it- I get it, though.”

Izzy swallowed his saliva and observed you. He was deliberating, you guessed. That’s why you patiently awaited his next words.

“What do you want to do?”

Despite the vagueness of his question, you understood what he was asking.

“Well, I want us to sort things out.” you expressed. “I don’t know if we’d work together, but I’d like to try. That’s just what I want, though. If you don’t-”

“That’s what I want, too.” Izzy agreed weakly.

You sensed his reluctance.

“But?” you prompted.

“I don’t understand… after what I did to you…”

“I don’t understand either.”

You absently rubbed your cheek.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you went on. “I don’t want to force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. But, I, for one, want to give this a chance, and I want to give you a chance. I mean, there has to be some reason I fell in love with you, right?”

You offered him a faint smile.

Tears formed in his eyes and he looked away.

Your face fell.

Before he could register what was happening, you engulfed him in a hug. Gradually, he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck, which dampened upon contact. You stroked his hair as his body jolted with the quiet sobs that tumbled from his mouth. His hands gripped the back of your shirt.

Seeing Izzy in this state caught you off guard as much as it caused your heart to ache. It wasn’t every day that you saw him in pain and distress, especially to this extent, hence your cluelessness of how to comfort him beyond a hug. Perhaps that’s all he needed- you wouldn’t know.

You settled on not saying anything. It was a risky move, but everything was when you had no idea what you were doing, or what exactly had brought this on. Did you say something wrong? Or, was he just overwhelmed with everything?

When he pulled away, you didn’t resist, instead loosening your grip. You reached up and dried his tears as best you could with one good hand, then absently traced his cheekbone with your thumb.

“Thank you.” he murmured.

Those two words allowed you to understand the cause of his tears. Your worries melted away.

“Aw, Iz.” you cooed. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“I do. You’re giving me a chance. Not every day someone does that for me.”

“So, you’re taking me up on my offer?”

You grinned, eliciting a weak smile from him.

“Of course I am.”

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