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angsty-twihardxx · 1 year

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YOU ARE THE REASON | T. MILLER

Summary: Tommy wants to leave Boston, wants to find somewhere better for the two of you. You think its too risky. Will you come to an agreement? Or maybe something tragic will happen. Maybe it wont *shrugs shoulders menacingly

Warnings: 18+ mature themes, eventual violence, blood, general horrible post apocalyptic themes. Sorry I suck at these.

Tommy Miller x reader

A/N: I’m in love with this man and literally had this idea pop into my brain like an hour ago (so obviously its not edited. sorry in advanced for my baby brain)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

“You seriously want to stay here? In Boston with FEDRA up our ass every second of the day?”

“I didn’t say that Tommy I-”

“I want something better for us, better than this!” His arms raise frenetically, emphasising the less-than-ideal living situation the two of you currently found yourself in. “And I know that. I would love to be back in our old house and not in this shithole, but we both know that’s not going to happen. Especially because I know what’s out there.” Your arm extended to the adjacent window, the glooming grey cement wall that kept the infected out. Or more accurately kept you inside.

This was a common argument the two of you had for the past few months. Tommy wanted to leave the QZ hearing about the fireflies and their endeavour to try and find a cure, to fix everything. You scoff at the thought, it was naive to think that after two decades this could all be fixed.

But Tommy believed it, he was like this before the infection took over everyone’s lives, he had always wanted something better for himself, his family– you. And you had always supported his ideas, but that’s all they were ideas

You were a nurse before the outbreak, working a late shift that very night. You still had nightmares of all the people that came into the ER begging for you to help them. But you couldn’t, even now with more of an understanding of the mutation. All the research and experimentation you did as a doctor for FEDRA, led you to the realisation that there was absolutely nothing you could do. But Tommy wouldn’t listen, couldn’t believe that there was nothing that could be done.

“Are you seriously willing to risk everything for some half promise of a cure that we know will never happen!”

His eyes widened as you spoke, it was never like you to get so angry let alone turn him down like that. Even in the worst of arguments you never lost your temper. And if he was being honest, he thought you sounded a whole lot like his older brother. Joel also thought the same as you when it came to his plan to join the fireflies, or when he heard about settlements and wanted to go to them.

It felt like you spent so much time trying to get him to just stay with you here in the Boston QZ as he would rather be anywhere than here with you. Like he was a kite that was slowly going higher into the sky that you couldn’t hold the string that kept him down with you here on earth.

It felt like you were losing him.

“Christ Y/N, I’m trying to do this for us!” This time he shouted, the vein in his neck protruding as he did so. His shoulder-length hair stuck to the thin layer of sweat that clung to his head. “Don't lie to me Tommy, if you want to leave so bad and go chase this fantasy then be my guest.” You sighed, finally saying what had been on your mind for a while now. You couldn’t join him, and you certainly couldn’t keep him here.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you kept them on the floor, not daring to bring them to look at him. “That really what you want?” His voice was deep, his Texan accent rolled heavy off the tongue. You didn’t need to look up at him to imagine the deep crease forming in between his brow, his usual soft chocolate eyes were nearly black as he seethed in front of you. His knuckles whitened as his fists formed tighter with every passing second. He just couldn’t believe that you could so easily throw over twenty years together away like that, why couldn’t you just understand?

You eventually look up and meet his gaze, he looked on the verge of tears himself. Without knowing how to answer you simply shrugged, was this something you wanted? “I don’t know what else to say to make you stay, you obviously want to leave so I’m giving you an out.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, you swore at your body for portraying you so easily.

“Oh sweetheart.” He cooed, his features softening as soon as he saw the tears fall onto your cheek. Pulling your hand away from your face he pulled you into his chest, enveloping your frame in his arms. It broke his heart thinking that after so long together you thought he wasn’t happy with you. He propped his chin on the top of your head as he slowly swayed you side to side, knowing the best way to comfort you.

“You are the reason I stay, the reason I try so damn hard to stay alive.” He whispered into your hair. “I just want something normal for us, somewhere safe where we can live and not just survive.”

This was your Tommy, soft, warm and gentle. Being in the war, and joining a group of smugglers were all the types of things to make a man rough around the edges. You knew so many men that had the same experiences that shut the world out, leaving no room for anything that wasn’t cold. But not Tommy, he was still as soft and sweet as the day you met him.

Not long after you graduated from college with your nursing degree, you landed a job working at a hospital in Austin. And it turned out that Tommy was a bit of a klutz because he turned out to be a pretty frequent patient for you.

Almost too frequent.

But little did he know, you were extremely quick to figure out his little game. Getting injured at work so you could patch him up while he flirted with you relentlessly.

“Back again Mr Miller? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were missing me?” You smirked at him as he walked in with Joel trailing in behind him. The face of an older brother that got dragged in because of Tommy’s antics. You rolled your eyes playfully at the older brother, feeling nothing but sympathy for him. “I dunno, I must be accident-prone these days.” He’d shrug at you like he was just as surprised as you. Joel grumbled something incoherent behind him as you got to work looking at this supposed ‘nail gun’ injury.

You would always play along with him, making your shift somewhat entertaining. Pretending to be worried, secretly delighting in the way he would flirt with so much confidence. But today you decided to playback, there was just something about the younger Miller. Something that just drew you in.

“Well I can't seem to see anything but maybe just to be safe we should give you a shot.” All colour and humour disappeared from his face then. You couldn’t help but smirk at that, very proud of yourself.

You leaned in close enough so that you could smell his aftershave, the smell of his cigarettes still lingered on his clothes. “Or how about if you want to spend time with me you could actually ask me on a date?”

To which he did, very quickly. Then just as quickly as you had joined his tiny little family, Joel and Sarah loved you. Joel would claim you kept him out of his hair, which would always be met back with a snide remark from Tommy. After four happy years together he had gotten down on one knee and asked you to marry him, “I can’t think of anyone else I would want to spend the rest of my life with.”

And he kept that promise, having him in your life was what made it somewhat tolerable in this post-apocalyptic world. You would be lying if you said you never thought about having a normal life with him, having a family and growing old together. That was what the two of you wanted for yourselves before the outbreak.

“What’dya say sweetheart? Find somewhere to grow old together?”

“I think I would like that.”

“You serious baby?” His hands moved quickly to cup your face as if this was a figment of his imagination. A wide smile grew on his face and all you could do was smile back. Maybe if it made him this happy, there was no way this could go badly. Large hands still cradling your face he pulled you in, your lips meeting his.

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