Merry wonderful time everyone 💋

toads and goombas

Favorite animal/animal you want us all to see?

Here is a toad tum. Pretty therapeutic, I think.

Okay i have to write this down. I have had a very specific fic idea sitting in my pumpkin of a head, rent free.

Draco gets a job - absolutely nothing important or fancy - as some kind of paperwork/paper pushing clerk at the Ministry right after his trial (some sort of reformation program for acquitted death eaters). Fast forward 8 or 9 years and draco still has the same job except he's kind of irreplaceable now because nobody can keep track of all the bajillion bullshit documents that get processed every fucking day - except draco. He sits in an office only slightly larger than a toilet cubicle and has stacks of parchment floor to ceiling ALL AROUND him and it's a bit dizzying honestly, but draco? You ask him for a specific document from december of 1999 and he'll find it in under ten seconds flat.

All this is not even the best part. The best part (in my head) is that draco is the biggest most terrifying GROUCH. Glasses perched on the tip of his nose, hair always rumpled (we know why but we get there later), draco sits at his tiny overflowing desk and barks and snaps at all the people who nervously stop by because they need their paperwork done and the Ministry has literally not bothered to hire anyone else. He doesn't report to anybody, he has no direct boss, they never sorted that shit out. It's something of a rite of passage for new ministry employees to get past draco. He's bony and pale and resembles an infuriated bowtruckle at any given point in the day. He sits there quill in hand, desk in impeccable order and just scolds every single person he meets.

"These are all in the wrong order," he snarls, shoving a sheaf of parchment at a young woman, somebody's new secretary. "Go rearrange them and maybe then I'll stamp and process them."

"Can you not see I'm already talking to somebody here?! Don't stick your head into my office when I'm already occupied. Get out and wait your turn."

"Shut the bloody door, can't you read the sign on it?!"

Occasionally though? He's a gem: "All right, okay, you need a letter from a parent or guardian since you're not of age yet. Didn't they tell you that when you applied for the summer internship? All right, why don't you dart through the Floos downstairs and fetch a letter from home? I'll be here until 5:30. Dry your eyes now, go on. I'll wait."

The whole ministry is terrified of draco and his temper and he speaks to nobody outside of work and nobody knows where he lives or whom he goes home to.

You know whom he goes home to, though, right? 👨🏿‍❤️‍👨🏼

Now and then I have a little giggle when I recall that JJ Abrams made Rey Palpatine's grandkid via some sort of nonsensical cloning plot. It's not the worst thing in the ST but I do think it's emblematic of why it's bad. Signifier without substance. Derivative *and* gutless. Tried to rip off ESB without understanding how the Vader reveal works as a narrative beat, gave Sheev spawn, and didn't even have enough courage of their convictions to admit that he fucks.

Like we all know Vader spent two decades pining gloomily after Padmé. But Palpatine? Sheev Palpatine? The guy whose two modes are smiling smug self-satisfied secret smiles to himself and crowing POWER, UNLIMITED POWER? The guy who cackles with maniacal relish anytime he gets to let his hair down and have a lightsaber fight? That guy is a hedonist. Tell me I'm wrong. That man is at all times enjoying the hell out of being irredeemably evil. He is a literal emperor, the vastly powerful and mostly unchallenged ruler of the galaxy, reveling in a victory he spent many years plotting and scheming for. And they had to invent some half-assed narrative afterthought of a cloning program rather than simply allowing us to assume that at some point in the two+ decades between ROTS and ROTJ, that man got laid? The cowardice. The incompetence. The sheer commitment to taking every conceivable L

Happy Birthday, @huskersbar ! <3333. I love you my sweet baby. I hope you enjoy your cute little cursed blinking loaf that I spend 3+ days on, hahaha. Thanks @lu-lus-duckies for helping with the animation. <333 @nunalastor @voxthepope @the-aprilfools-bitch @et3rnal-ash @fujillamaparadise @lucifersruberduck @xluciferseyeshadowx @xxx-angie @butterflies-and-roaches @hazbinficsandstuff-eyeshadow @lilithandsappho @velvette3 @xoxo-ashur-xoxo @leonidele-rambles @voxtek-enterprises @helluvautism @theroachking2930

I Love NFTs

Beach day!! ⛱️ 💙

Movie Toad when he met Mario: "You're my best friend!" Movie Toad when he meets Luigi: "You're my other best friend!"

Mario: "Okay, you're moving a little fast there. I won't argue, but I'm a bit suspicious." Luigi:

To live another day 🌹🦋 My piece for Jump for the Stars!, a collection of shonen manga posters. I loved this series so much, the symbolism and art style are gorgeous.

Friday, June 16.

The Toad Who Never Made The Team

...and other important animal images.

Spare a thought for this poor little guy on this most Friday of Fridays, June 16ths. Because while most of us are winding down from school, university, or the workplace, and gearing up for a sunny weekend in June, others are not enjoying such a good time. Indeed, for some, they are heading into Saturday and Sunday left with no choice but two days to face one of life's hard truths, to ponder it—to look it square in its cold, uncompromising eyes. Take, for example, the tale of Toad who never made the team. This here poor fellow is one of a handful of stories from the rich tapestry of life to be explored in other @important-animal-images. 

We've all been there: you set your mind to something with the utmost strongest of determinations. This goal is fixed to your thoughts as if it were written on little bits of paper, and stapled to your eyelids. From the moment you wake, you are out of bed, like a Rocky montage or a LinkedIn hustler bro's post, and swigging eggnog, jogging, boxing the air, putting one step in front of the other in pursuit of that dream. That was the case for Toad, who wanted, more than anything, just to make the team.

There were obstacles, sure, but he didn't let them stand in his way. For Toad, being an amphibian meant he was not the obvious pick for a (human) men's 11-a-side soccer team. The fact he hibernates each winter was also not ideal for a side that would be playing on pitches up and down the nation during the cold, dark winter months. The fact he was smaller than the balls that the players would be kicking for 90 minutes was also not in his favor. As the main prey of snakes, including Toad on a soccer team would increase the risk of serpent attacks mid-match. And mid-match serpent attacks are the last thing coach needs when in pursuit of The Championship.

Unlike others in their family, toads are only capable of a slight hop, and not jump, which leaves them at a serious disadvantage when it comes to heading the ball, whether in attack or defense. They also have lovably short legs, which, while endearing, is not a good fit for a soccer player. The fact Toad eats his own skin is, while not unhelpful for a budding athlete, per se, really kind of gross—and unlikely to win friends in the dressing room and fans in the stadium. But for Toad, it mattered not. He was going to kick balls, and score goals, or die trying, dammit.

And try he did. He hopped with everything he had and kicked as hard as his comical legs would allow. But it, sadly, mattered not. When coach blew the whistle and gathered his squad around the team sheet for tomorrow's big match, eleven names were listed. Toad's was not among them. He was crushed, his dreams shattered in an instant, and as he went to ribbit a most forlorn of ribbits, he stopped, paused, and fell silent. Because, he remembered, he is a toad. And toads do not ribbit.

When you try your best and you don't succeed..., he hums to himself softly, consoling his broken spirit with the soothing lyrics of Fix You, by Coldplay. We can only hope he gets back to the training ground, gives it all he's got, and that we may see a change in his fortunes next year. Then, perhaps, we will see a happier sequel to this in later @important-animal-images. 

Better luck next year champ x

*P.S. It's not all so gloomy for our animal comrades, however. There's a rumour going around that this cat is having two kittens, and will need a hand or two in deciding on some baby names.

Naaaaaaaahh Im just gonna pretend Quest for Pizza ended like this

Snape antis when SA, harassment, abuse, waterboarding, or illegal activities (it’s done by their favourite characters):

Snape antis when a toad gets threatened (it’s done by a character they hate):

whoever at capcom came up with phoenix with a daughter im kissing you on the lips with tongue you are a genius i love you