#to try and get rid of some stress
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#ganondoodles#doodles#zelda#loz#demise#hylia#look at me doodling this#to try and get rid of some stress#now its super late and im exhausted fkdnhjkfsn#anyway#them#uwu <3
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So are the Big Bads of Junior Year going to be the Rat Grinders? AKA kids who leveled up 'the normal way' by doing a bunch of quests, grinding, taking on any enemy to get more powerful, but because of the 'luck' and 'opportunities' given to other kids (ie the Bad Kids) aren't being lauded or appreciated like they expected so they're taking it out on the Bad Kids, have taken advantage of it the summer they were gone, and are doing what they can to punish them for 'being rewarded despite failing at what's expected of them, despite actually saving the world'.
I wonder if all the members of Rat Grinders have classes that reflect those of the Bad Kids? We already know they have a rogue and a bard...
#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#this makes perfect sense to me story wise in terms of the past 2 seasons we had heightened tension and drama in the villains faced#from kalvaxas to the nightmare king to the night yorb at the beginning of this season#some pvp (even if the other ps is the dm) makes sense for a stripped back season focused more on relationship building#plus we've been missing the high school rival aspect of fantasy high this is a good focus for junior year#when you are now realizing you are in direct 'competition' with other kids for opps and positions in colleges and unis#and the rat grinders probably see the bad kids as having a leg up on everyone because they were able to save the world multiple times#and could parlay that into bright futures in any college they want like brennan hinted at in ep 3#this season the rat grinders will try and separate the bad kids and put ultimate stress on them to break them apart or get them kicked out#getting rid of gilear to install a principal more aligned with their views#and yes i absolutely think those four yorkshire terriers in a sweatervest made it so gilear won a cruise#it's a very tracey glick thing to do
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mmmnnother idea too
#sneak peek#hyperfixation says esau cast in dnd style- but i don't think i'll do em the way i did nezha's doodle cuz that was a horrible way of shading#at least for me personally KEKW-#emelin rambles#to bed i go#i wanna try sleepin early for once#also i find it funny how as a dental tech i know why my jaw is hurting rn#muscle stress would be my guess cuz it's just the side of my jaw around the area of my left mandibular condyle#so i'm currently tryna force myself to physically relax more to try get rid of it quicker cuz it's annoying when tryna eat at times#also i was at an info meeting about a study some university students wanna do with autists regarding noise cancelling headphones#was hilarious considering i immediately began to critique the way the meeting went by telling my psychologist about#how they had the audacity to give a full group of diagnosed autists the OPTION to pick between showing up on a monday or tuesday#cuz we were all fuckin confused and one girl even had to ask like 2-3 times about how tf this would work and when we're supposed to come in#like how dare you tell us we can pick a day- that sparked so much lowkey panic and i could tell by the confusion of all- including myself#just give us a solid day DHFNDFHNDHFGNHDGH
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im taking a deal with raphael to free orpheus, i will probably regret it, but the emperor just gives me bad vibes and he wants me to become mind flayer so bad and i don't love that
#like i just keep thinking about the conversation you have it withers#where he says that illithids don't have souls#like would tav lose themself entirely if they became a mind flayer or even half illithid?#i feel like emperor is tricking them or trying to control them for constantly being like 'hey being a mindflayer is great you should try it'#no thank you dude#i'm like 80% sure if you go the half illithid route you will turn at some point in the game? maybe at the end#literally all sirius has wanted the whole game is to get rid of the parasite. he let auntie ethel have his eye and everything#BUT i don't trust raphael either#i don't want him to have the crown like i think that's a REALLY bad idea#but what happens if you dishonor the deal?#idk if i did the right thing at all this game stresses me tf out#💬#bg3 ramblings#bg3 spoilers
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anxiety 🤝 the mosquito in my room: won't go away and let me live my life in peace
#i've been trying to get rid of this mosquito since last night#and i've been trying to get rid of the anxiety since i was eight KGSDSJKFHGDKJ#Neither are working right now.#ok to rb#like i cannot socialize right now. i hate when my anxiety does this#the rsd is on such a hairpin trigger that i just. can't do the whole talking to people thing right now.#so we're just gonna have me time (cough. isolating) tonight!!! is that fun? not really but it's better than the alternatives#like i KNOW i am loved and appreciated#but some days my brain is insistent on convincing me otherwise which isn't fair to ANYONE#got stressed bc my mom was too quiet around me. like i KNOW she's just tired so we're just gonna not be around people#until my brain can stop deciding poeple hate me because they like. looked at me weird or passed the food too aggressively to my brain#so we're on break until i sleep this off#posting doesn't count though. i can still yell into the void
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Somehow, after months of not moving a muscle, I managed to get off my ass and do some light stretching + a whole damn abs routine too, that I still have no idea how I got through it, I remember it being hard on Normal day, and now my whole body is feeling this little workout and I'm like?? WHo are you?
Now to keep it going, tho...
#personal#Raksh posts#the anxiety and stress started creeping in#tho I have A FULL WEEK OFF with no classes nothing#so I was like - I might as well Try to get rid of that nibbling stress#and like damn this feels nice#also made me realize how out of shape I am :''') not that it's a surprise but still#gonna try and keep it up with at least like One thing a day#a couple of stretches or an exercise here and there so it's not just a one time thing (I Am prone to doing that)#tomorrow I have some logistics to maneuver around since Im going to the theater with a couple friends in the evening#and we're meeting earlier in the day for some drinks too bcs my last train is not late enough to go After the spectacle#but anyway I guess I'll try to do some stretches before noon and then figure out food before I go to the train station#damn maybe I can start getting myself back together#like I even started rereading my Voiles stuff - esp the BatB AU#and if I go back to writing it? goodness help me#I Know there are still people reading the ship but oh my god really??#anyway I had to throw this out of myself I guess xD#Im still debating on making some pizza dough today and maybe making one to eat later hmmm#it's like - me making homemade pizza seems to always be a sign of getting out from some kind of slump/depressive episode#because I never have the energy or motivation when it's Bad but I Love pizza and actually enjoy making it so#yeah we'll see I guess#still half a day ahead hah
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next session im gonna tell my therapist to help me make a habit of journaling privately because y'all don't understand the difference between "personal post" and "discourse post." and also because yeah no it is silly to get too personal online and i do need to practice better impulse control. also like. i need to try to shift my tumblr to be a little more professional and promote my commissions. sighhhhh.
anyway mutuals thank u for sticking by me and making social media slightly less of a mental unhealth cesspit. you brighten my day and i hope i can occasionally brighten yours
#objectively my mental health would be better if i preened my social media down to a lot less followers and like mass deleted a lot of stuff#but also i need at least this many followers for my sphere of influence to expand enough for even 1 or 2 interested parties to check out my#commissions. so#like i cannot stand the constant scrutiny and attention but also creatives abdolutely Have To network and get visibility in this economy#and that includes not compulsively soft blocking like 99% of your followers#i just. my more political posts that are making an actual statement are very clearly tagged and advertised as such#my personal posts are Not That. i am not trying to Sell You any idea. get rid of this notion#the only things i am selling to this godforsaken internet are my soul and my writing business#so if you're that interested in what i actually have to say idk pay me to write you an essay#otherwise stop being parasocial and trying to start shit on my posts#if it doesnt vibe with you then its not for you. and a good 50% or more of my posts are not for anyone but me#like i cannot stress this enough if you have a problem block tags or people or just scroll past#some of you are here for politics thats ok i have those. but for the love of god dont treat personal posts as political#also#social media is not activism
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don't read tags if you don't want to see me rant about my health for a sec
#ill be discreet but ive been dealing with this certain health issue for almost 2 months now#i saw my doctor on feb 28th who gave me some medication for the problem#which i thought was great... until the meds did literally nothing for me#so ive been absolutely stressing over this issue for weeks now#calling my doctors almost every day trying to get in earlier than the 27th this month#because i just cant deal with it anymore and im tired of waiting#i heard about this online womens health site that deals with you pretty quickly so i signed up#even though i dont really have the money for it but i need to get rid of this issue or im going to go insane#and im just so anxious over this and feel insanely guilty for some reason im about to burst into tears#im really sorry for ranting here but i felt like i needed to get it out#why do i feel so anxious and guilty about taking care of my own health i hate it#personal#dl
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can’t tell if I’ve posted something like this before but
the inherent fantasy and yearning for a Star Trek future when you’re someone who’s chronically ill and dealing with a particularly bad flare — something about the fantasy of being beamed into a starfleet medbay, given a hypospray, and feeling all the pain, discomfort, soreness, and all other flare symptoms melt away as futuristic utopian medicine makes you healthy again, maybe even getting rid of the chronic illness altogether, and being comforted by a softspoken doctor who will hold your hand and stay beside you until even the lingering exhaustion fades
*yearns*
#star trek#i am so tired you guys.#pain and soreness and spending half the night in the bathroom I am so exhausted#i literally long for this so much#i want a starfleet doctor to get rid of my chronic illness and help me feel better#imagine a life where sitting at a desk. eating food. etc does not feel like colossal hurdles where you’re absolutely exhausted… what even#i’m just. so tired#*yearns in trek*#personal#the thing about fluctuating chronic illnesses too is that some days you’re passably ‘normal person’ and then other days it’s like#literally sitting at your desk and eating one (1) light meal is a stress inducing exhausting ordeal and I just. some people really are out#there living life and not dealing with this? wild. what is that like.#also the inherent fantasy of a post scarcity society where when you’re dealing with a flare you can just. y’know. not need fo work that day#if only 🥲🥲#don’t mind my rambles I am just in pain and tired and sore and trying to work through the power of ginger tea and fantasizing about trek#cries#where is cmo dr julian bashir when you need him
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Did some apartment unfucking
Done in a very stressed hour and a half
But it is done.
#speculation nation#the bedroom is a front i just shoved a bunch of shit in a box and into corners so that it wasnt visible from the door#Actual bedroom unfuckening will be done later. i do want to get it genuine clean. just not now.#it really is kind of crazy having less shit Everywhere. it's good though. it's very good.#i have a killer kind of headache tho 😭#contemplating buying delivery as a reward for getting this done...#i wanted to do laundry today but that was just too much fuckin stress#oh yeah. the showing did happen but it was brief & i overheard the guide say that this unit isnt available anymore#and they sent me the lease in the email!!!#i read thru it and it's overall the same as before. aside from internet being included too. and also rent going up lol#god. rent next year will be an entire 50% more than when i first moved in. these market price increases are Insane.#but yeah i still have to actually sign it. i need to chill some first tho. and try to get rid of this fucking headache.#too much stress. too much focus. my brain does not like it lol
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it might just be bc it's late and i get sad sometimes when it's late but i'm sad i like feeel soooo bad about several things and i feel like i want to cry but i can't ughh idk...
#just gonna like write out my problems in the tags bc that like helps me process them 👍#first of i feel like i can't connect well with people at all#especially with people in school.. there are some people i am fine with i can like talk with them fine and feel a connection#but then like with others i just feel..so out of touch with them idk#i just feel like they don't want to be around me anymore and i'm just some annoying guy that is there#but like i know that isn't true (hopefully)#ugggh and then like i go back to thinking they do actually not like me and yeah just a whole loop going on#after i get tired of thinking about that i think about school in general and start getting stressed about it#even though i am doing alright it's idk..#it;s just i'm like thinking of stuff that happens later through the school year and thinking i want things to get finished quickly#i like want to get my paintings and projects done already but i gotta think and take my time and shit!#i want it done now so i won't have to do it anymore even though i do like working on them#when i work on something i want to like sit down and work on it till it's done#which is kind of a not good habit to have i know i've been trying to like try to get rid of it#or like minimize it#ok i'm like reading over these and like. i think it's bc i might be neurodivergent.#i keep forgetting i got a high score in that autism test...hmmm#anyway also stressed about this camping trip for school that happens next week#1) my mom keeps nagging me about how i am physically weak to like go camping but still wants me to go to it#2) we have to be in groups and you don't like get assigned one you have to like just form it... which like#if you've read above i am having trouble with people and connecting hence i haven't found a group yet orz...#and that's like it for that.#school is just stressing a bit and i don't want that....#last problem is like kind of dumb but like my youtube feed has sucky videos i don't want to watch and i haaaaate it.#it's like it doesn't get me at all.....whatever...#ok i think that's like enough...feel a bit better laying it all out#still feel those things but like doing this made me feel better feeling this way and understand them#feeling things is good and alright 👍
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hello and good afternoon!! i've had a very lazy morning thus far, but after i clean the back of my mom's car for her, i'll be around to get some writing done! i'm probably gonna work on a post of connections/plots for my muses as well, just bc i think it might be helpful for new interactions. i dunno if i'll list all of my muses right off the bat, though, so perhaps let me know if there's anyone you'd like some ideas for!
#i might concentrate on my primary muses? but we'll see#it's gonna be a long post no matter what bc i have too many muses :' ))#also!! would it be helpful if i had an interest checker? would that make things less stressful for some of you?#i've made one in the past but i got rid of it bc i end up forgetting to check on it#and not very many people used it? but as i accumulate more muses i wanna make sure i make interactions#as stress-free as possible bc it can be tough when there's a lot of options#like i'm happy to write any of my kiddos and i'm happy to write opposite of anyone!! and i try to make that clear#but i also know interest trackers might be more comfy for people to initiate interactions bc they can state their preferences#anyway anyway!! let me stop rambling and go get some cleaning done so i can be here!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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trying to be mindful and chill 🧘♀️
#collapsed cardboard boxes threw out some trash reorganized the fridge/freezer/cart that is ny pantry basically#kind of reorganized but my organization doesnt look that nice or isnt loke perfect but it doesnt have to b perfect as long as i know where#everything is...#threw out old food and took out the trash the trash bag broke which stressed me out lol#took a shower so i could calm down bc i felg dirty from cleaning bunch of stuff and hadnt showered this morning lol#gonna drink some water and have a coffee and some yogurt and piece of toast i think. then wash these pans#and im gonna find a place to put all my pans and pots im gonna replace w my new set i got for xmas#Ill find a placd to donate tbem eventually#and gonna try to get rid of some cardboard boxes later today. Theres these small trashcans for them in my complex and usually theyre full#but i think i can recycle some of the smaller boxes i have#idk#stressed abt the stste of my apartment bc i get very affected by environment but its not too bad just#cluttered since coming back from break and i dont have a place for a lot of things#but itll look much better once i get rid of all these boxes in the living room#and ill jjst slowly try to organize and find places for a lot of boxes or things i havent unpacked since moving. lol
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🏃♀️ !
#°#new month new blog new me babey!!!! hi hi good to be back hope everyone is doing well <3#going to bed soon but i missed seeing my mutuals post and making fun lil text posts ehehe.#i only have one (1) sideblog this time around but i do still plan on posting curations of art quotes posters etc etc!#ummm what happened on my break. we got a new couch/futon (after 5 years of using foldup camp chairs)#i read part of a dead language's dictionary (for fun) and watched a couple movies.#and there's the new class ofc!!!! it's self-paced which is nice but i have to really commit and try and get#a lot of the lessons done this month to avoid any issues or stress by way of procrastination.#there's other stuff im sure but i do not remember. OH i had ginger ale for the first time it's yummy!#not being able to post was driving me NUTS esp. when things got kinda crazy but i got rid of some of the online brainrot so its ok <3#ANYWAY! it is bed time so i must say goodnight. love u all hope everyone is taking care mwah mwah xx
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sorry venting
the joy of having fun little knickknacks and thingamajigs related to what you love VS. the desire to not become overwhelmed by material items + the agony overwhelming that comes with being keenly surrounded by stuff: FIGHT
#maybe it’s just bc I have ‘still living in my childhood bedroom as an adult’ syndrome#but am in the process of tidying up and it just. god. fucking bowled me over#sometime soon I gotta Marie kondo this place again#and maybe look into upgrading storage#instead of y’know sticking with the stuff I’ve been using since middle school#but also also pre Covid before (and after) my grandfather died#a lot of stress my mom was under (and me by extension) was that he was an awful hoarder#and he didn’t rlly care#but then he died and we had to take sporadic trips out to his old apartment and help his roommate/partner/person go through all his shit#and then we had to just start throwing shit out bc their rent lease end was coming up and she needed to have everything moved out#so now it’s like. I feel hypersensitive to it#and we still have so much shit in the house not even in my room#some of which is still his!!!#and it’s like….. mom wants to go through it all properly and try and sell it but I’m fucking so tired of it. just get rid of it you have an#an Outback just shove it all in your car and take a trip to goodwill and whatever goodwill doesnt take bring to the free section in the dump#but she’s not going to do that bc She’s Mom and whenever I try to just throw stuff out she says stuff that makes me second guess myself#or insists she’ll try to find someone to give it to#but then she doesn’t a lot of the time so it just sits in my room or some random spot around the house#she is picking and choosing every battle that is presented to her and she is losing and I am trying not to lose my mind
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⋆⭒˚｡⋆ SHE'S BACK!
GUESS HE COULDN'T KEEP IT IN, SO HE HAD TO KEEP IT INSIDE! ₊˚⊹♡ dilf!gojo satoru x teacher!reader
tags: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, exhibitionism, getting caught, he fucks you while he's on the phone, overstimulation, dumbfication, fluff, gojo has an ex-wife, yuuji is gojo's son, age-gap.
A/N: well, this was surely and adventure and maybe self-indulgent title because guess what?, i'm back baby.
It was a nice morning, he felt clean. Like his life was finally steadying. Even after some stressful weeks trying to get rid of his now ex-wife, he won the trial and kept Yuuji. Poor little boy, just turning 5 years old and he’s already facing all this type of stress. But thankfully he will not be experiencing enduring his crazy mother behavior. Which basically was a gold digger, and a bitch– Not that he would ever say that outloud, maybe with other words? Bastard? Witch? Not that it really matters right now.
He could finally take a break now, just focusing on raising his little boy, and being an old boring 31 year old dad. Life doesn’t sound that bad.
“Daddy! Daddy!,” His son went running to his arms, almost stumbling by himself- clear happiness shown on his face. Quickly, Gojo opened his arms ready to lift the young kid. “Miss Y/N congratulated me on my homework! She was pretty amazed!”
Your name wasn’t unknown to him, Yuuji was very open when talking about his favorite teacher, even though he hasn’t seen you yet- from what he’s been told you’re the kid’s favorite, including Yuuji’s. “I had to talk about who’s my hero, and I chose you!” If this day wasn’t going great, it was now. Because his son's comment just made his whole week, life even.
“Oh look dad!” The little boy pointed towards your moving frame, each time getting clñoser towards them. “Daddy, this is Miss Y/N!” Yuuji kept presenting the both of you. He was really excited to present his two favorite persons to each other- but all Gojo could think of what’s how young and beautiful you looked. He expected someone older, maybe even an old lady with wrinkles and that loving grandma vibes, but what he saw made his heart beat in a way he never thought he would feel ever more.
“Daddy? Are you paying attention?” The little boy gained Gojo’s attention back, face now looking at him again. “I’m sorry kiddo, kinda just zoned out there. What did you just say?”
“Uhh, what was it? Oh! Did I tell you Miss Y/N told me you were a very handsome man?”
“Yuuji!” His gaze moved towards your blushed face, a hand covering part of your face. “I’m so sorry Mr.Gojo, I didn’t intend to say-”
Gojo cut you off before you could continue apologizing “It’s okay, I also think Ms.Y/N is a very beautiful woman.”
Uh, well. So this is how kinda you found yourself in this situation right now.
You swear it wasn’t your intention! You really tried, you really did, but how could someone say no to Mr.Gojo? And mostly because he really showed his attraction towards you. Sending Yuuji with a rose for you every day, and the little boy was rooting for his dad, because dear god- he did not shut up about him, and how happy he would be with a new girlfriend and maybe one he could call ‘mommy’ and give him a sister.
That made you blush.
Not only because the little boy commented on it, and was agreeing- but because it was his dad’s idea.
“You’re so wet, s-shit.” Loud thrusts filled the room, he was fucking you raw on his sofa– waiting for Yuuji’s mom to bring him back, the little boy was eager to come back and ‘see Ms.Y/N and his daddy finally starting to fall in love’
Kids being kids. But, he was right- the both of you were falling in love with eachother.
Gojo throws back his head, immersed in the warmth radiating off your walls and he lets your moans take him to another world. In a haste decision, he slips your dress over your head before tossing it. He mouths at your tits, plump and stiff between his lips, and he hurdles a deeper round of thrusts inside you.
When you get a little too loud, his hand comes over to clamp your mouth, wolf like eyes staring back at you, “Shut it. You don’t deserve to speak.”
His thin white tee that stays a barrier between you and him does not hide the rippling body underneath that seemed to be sculpted by gods. He presses into you, grunting, using you like his personal sex doll and you embrace it, thrive from it, come to it. Your hips contract, slewing in perfect circles, before having your legs fall gradually lifeless as you arousal drip down your thighs.
“Ffffucckkk- oh baby, would you like that? Be full of me and my baby? Make me a daddy again?”
“yesyesyesyes, make me yours Mr.Gojo-”
He pays your climax no mind,a smirk clearly showing on his face while he fucks you on his sofa- You could muffle your screams of pleasure easier here. Turning your head back to face him, you notice now he’s shirtless–taut and shiny from sweat like a large set of Hawaiian rolls–before seeing how quick he is to fit back inside you.
“Good girl.” His husky voice resonates and pushes you back into the sheets. “Good girls get rewards, don’t they?” Your poor fucked up mind couldn’t think clearly now. The way your abused and overstimulated pussy was still taking his rock hard cock gratefully inside you was making every feel giddy. A sudden noise bringing back a little part of your senses, Gojo clearly grunting grabbed his what you suppose phone, and answered. Not bothering to stop his thrusts.
“Yeah?,” His voice sounded almost like a whisper because of how breathy it was. “Gojo? I’m almost at your house- Yuuji wanted some ice-cream and bought some for you and… your new girlfriend?” His chuckle interrupted his ex-wife’s conversation, accompanied with a whimper at the feeling of you clenching on him- overstimulation clearly bringing you back to climax soon again.
A slap was heard from his part of the line, an unbelievable laugh coming from his ex-wife line, clearly noticing what was going on and then she finally heard you moan. You couldn’t keep it in anymore, and you were too fucked out to feel embarrased about it right now.
“Finish before I leave Yuuji- Enjoy yourself.” Gojo was so lost in pleasure that he didn’t even realize she hung up before he even processed what happened.
His grunts and sounds of skins slapping are all you hear as he pounds you back into the sofa. It feels like heaven beneath his weight. You were feeling flushed to the touch, but making contact with his skin was like an inferno. He was the embodiment of heat and as suffocating as that could’ve been, it melts you like it’s how it always should’ve been.
His pace eventually falters, followed by a hushed “fuck,” and he empties out into your used hole. The moment he pulled out, a knock was heard.
“Shit. Can you walk?”
PART 2
#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#gojo smut#satoru smut#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo jujutsu kaisen#geto smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#toji smut#gojo x you#smut
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