it’s the first day of december so here’s your daily reminder that ‘the heart I know I’m breaking is my own’ // ‘he wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain’

eras movie thoughts from someone who saw it on oct 13

ok as soon as the midnights clock went to 00:00 (started at 00:13 🥹) the entire theater cheered quick notes: - people were very much singing, although most of the time you could barely hear it because the speakers were SO LOUD - plenty of people were standing up and dancing. i was in the front row/box so it wasn't a problem for me, and also most of the people doing this were kids under 5 ft. but situations may vary depending on where you live - i did get the eras popcorn bucket and drink thing, and i washed both for keeping - people were trading friendship bracelets too

lover set: miss americana was so surreal. like as soon as she appeared i just felt some type of way. a lot of this probably comes from never having seen her live, but i felt so emotional because this person who shaped a lot of my life and childhood was right there in front of me (i was also first row which probably helped) and she just seemed so larger-than-life in a way. like i could barely sing until lover (the song) because i was just in such shock. i don't think i'll ever forget the moment the sunset fan things parted to reveal her standing there to sing "it's been a long time coming" 🩷 the archer was missing, but you honestly didn't notice because it was edited so well. it didn't feel like there was something missing like i thought it would (this is true for all of the cut songs except for one)

fearless set: this one was very helpful to me personally because it calmed me down from the "mega-super-popstar Taylor Swift" hype. seeing her perform songs that i'd loved for years and played in my childhood bedroom was VERY good for getting rid of any nerves i may have had. like oh there's bestie, you know? my brother wanted me to mention the stage becoming a guitar because that was pretty cool. also i did not personally witness any proposals during love story, but two little girls acted one out and it was really cute. ybwm was not as popular (singing-wise) among the little kids, but every teenage girl in there was having a spiritual experience with me. oh and ofc we did the heart hands thing for fearless 🫶🏼 and the claps for ybwm

evermore set: once again, ttds/nbnc (opening song) was cut, but you really couldn't feel the hole in the setlist. the willow opening was SO well-shot. also idk if it was the camera angle or she just has really long arms but when she spun the cloak around i swear it was making waves. my theater did not do the phone flashlight thing for marjorie but it was very visible in the movie. her champagne problems speech had me like 🥹 and tolerate it was as emotionally powerful as you'd expect. i did get a good chuckle out of her just throwing all the dishes everywhere, and also the lighting crew really came through with that one reputation set: ready for it did have some pretty intense flashing (there was a warning at the beginning). i personally don't have issues with these sorts of things but it's important to note for anyone who does. i thought it was really fun and loved the rep set. personally, i think this is the set she looked the hottest in. i kinda get why she isn't changing the outfit because it really does suit her so much. of course, the entire theater shouted 1 2 3 LET'S GO BITCH for delicate. look what you made me do is an amazing song that was done justice in this movie, probably one of the best moments choreography-wise in the whole show speak now set: enchanted was also so well-shot and probably one of my favorite performances in the entire show. the one cut song that i did feel was missing was long live. i missed it a lot, but they went so hard with enchanted that it almost made up for it imo.

red set: 22 was my dad's favorite in the movie, and when she gave the hat to bianka bryant, you could hear all the whispers of people explaining to their parents/partners/kids the significance of that moment. the transitions were SO good for the entire movie, but especially this set. the red jumpsuit has always been one of my favorite outfits but i'm glad it's finally getting its time to shine now that you all appreciate her ❤️ the "LIKE EVER" was also something that had the theater cheering, and ofc all too well tmv was the emotional crux of the night. everyone singing that song in the theater was singing about a personal experience and it was one of those moments that had me understanding what taylor meant with the lover speech where she said that she wanted tonight to be about new memories. i'm never going to forget seeing all these little girls singing ikywt and then all their moms singing atw right after. i could honestly write an entire essay on how the movie was such a celebration of girlhood and probably will at some point

folklore set: this entire movie had already had me so emotional, but the folklore set was the tipping point for this film rewriting my swiftie brain forever. beginning with the 1 was very personally significant to me because for me, atw and the 1 are about the same person. it was very healing to get to sing those things back to back, and i know it was for a lot of the people in that theater as well. her betty speech got a lot of laughs out of people, and the song itself had the starlights (backup vocalists) at the foot of the cabin, which was so 🥹 do not underestimate how important the starlights were to this movie and the performance. my favorite moments had them in it. tlgad is my #2 song EVER and it comes so close to being #1 so the performance did not disappoint. both the note change in the 1 and "loudest woman this town has ever SEEN!" got huge cheers from both the people in the movie and the theater. the august/illicit affairs performance was beautiful, but i think this set really came to life with my tears ricochet. her in white against all the dancers in black for the funeral metaphor said a lot. although all too well is the ballad of her discography, my tears ricochet is also extremely emotionally resonant and important for the show. it's one of those songs that has me so excited for this movie to get on streaming so i can watch all the time. and like the archer and nbnc/ttds, cardigan's removal was not that defining.

1989 set: the little kids were going FERAL and i don't blame them. style was beautiful ofc, but blank space, shake it off, and bad blood were the loudest songs of the night because the kids were just SCREAMING. although not a lot of people shouted "sydney!" they did shout "you forgive you forget but you never let it go" for bad blood. and the choreo was choreo-ing for this set. once again, wildest dreams was missed but not that missed.

surprise songs: ok yeah i did get emotional over "this is for the people who liked me when i was writing songs for my 9th grade talent show," what about it? our song got its moment and i am happy. and ohmygod can i ever say enough about the importance of you're on your own kid being in this movie. the way that it's just such a culmination of her entire life and career and "take the moment and taste it" is just exactly what this movie is celebrating 😭 make the friendship bracelets had people going 🥹🩷🥰 because you can just tell that she loves us so much. and of course the stage dive was a moment

midnights: this was the one set that i hadn't watched 23048930284 times over livestream so it was a special treat. lavender haze & anti-hero slayed, and midnight rain was ridiculously well-shot. i was admittedly worried about the vigilante shit dance because my parents were there, but it wasn't shot in a ultra-sexy way and also. the dance is pretty tame all things considered. when you've been dancing and singing for almost 3 hours, no one really cares. the bejeweled dance was very 🥹 and i thought a lot about how important fans were to this entire show. there were a lot of moments when she was pointing to the audience and re-assigning a song to us in real time, and mastermind was one of them for sure. if i didn't already think that karma was the perfect song to end with, this solidified it for me. it made me so very happy and i got some amazing pictures of it.

all in all, this movie restructured just about everything for me, including my album rankings, top 10 song list, and how i view her career and music in general. i'd watched this exact show over and over again on livestream but this was the first time i'd really realized how much she meant to me and how important she is culturally atm. she's everything 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🩶🤎💙

@godofsmallthings individual thoughts on the one per album answers

teardrops - it was the first song of hers that i heard so im physically unable to find fault w it but it definitely could be gayer. oh!! there's a demo where she says you're! here w some other demos and unreleased songs i haven't listened to yet

twily - exactly but ur alarm that is so funny im so sorry

the start is weirdly jarring even though it's gradual i can't imagine waking up to that

y e s but i don't think i would survive rock sparks fly, same to ikp

holy ground - same it and sou/sf/sog were tied for my favourites until like... actually my rankings change and im not sure another song has joined/topped them but folkmore joined their albums in my top spot maybe?

i may be extremely sleep deprived but i am unable to make sense of it what does this mean bestie: fl and the story's got DUST on on page.

oh are u adding and the story's got dust on every page as a lyric

dwoht kissgate song forever obviously

cruel summer: exactly thank you annie clark (do u listen to stv?)

august! vv true i hadn't put much though into it but that should definitely be later

ttds tkskss it is wild how much we agree on things

maroon - honestly i am not a saxophone girl so im glad it doesn't have it... like i love false god and but i don't need another saxophone song yk? but sexy we love her

i am having the best time w these lmk if u want to do more or send me some to try

this is a lot but i chose one from each album this time! teardrops, the way i loved you, sparks fly, holy ground, i know places, dwoht, cruel summer, august, tis the damn season, maroon

i am at a party feeling like an open wound but it's okay dw but i'm gonna answer this rapid fire

teardrops is perfect bur also idc about her. "the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star" is so cute. i wish she was gay. idk.

twily. perfect baby. "but i'm comfortable" best lyric bc gay. but i made her my alarm in middle school so she stresses me out like in a pavlovian way to hear.

sparks fly. "captivated by you baby like a firework show" fave. yelling at her writing fantasy sex songs me and u both bbygirl. i wish it was rock.

holy ground SONG OF ALL TIME. THIS WSS MY FAVPRITE SONG FOR YEARS PRE-LOVER. COULD DO NO WRONG. "You fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme" but also "spinning like a girl in a brand new dress we had this big wide city all to ourselves i blocked the sound with the noise of i need you and for the first time we had something to lose" literally obsessed with everything about this song. f1 and the story's got DUST on on page. she could do no wrong.

ikp. can't think of a lyric. she's good but could.be better. production could be better. wish it wss more rock.

dwoht. my sexy kaylor baby. sorry babes the story is cute but u can pry her from being about kissgate from Mt cold dead hands. "I'd kiss you as the lights went out. swaying as the room burned down. hold you as the water rushes in. if I could dance with you again." and "deep blue but you painted me golden."

CRUEL SUMMER SONG.OF ALL TIME. "HANG YOUR HEAD LOW IN THE GLOW.OF THE VENDING MACHINE IM NOT DYING." "I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU." "I CFIED LILE A BABY COMING HOME FROM THE BAR" FUCK.

August omg. "whispers of are you sure. never have i ever before" is soooooo fucking cute and sweet. consent king. "back when we were still changing for the better and wanting was enough. for me it was enough" I wish she waited for the second half of the chorus before everything comes in after the bridge it feels too soon

ttds perfect song. "SO ILL GO BACK TO LA." But also the whole chorus and the inthaf connection. this song is insane I'm going to cry qgqin.

maroon. bestie if u think I know this song yet u are mistaken. but also "the mark you saw on my collarbone / the rust that grew between telephones" bc it's so perfect and so swiftian and also. taylor with hickey sexy. what if it was sexier like false god and had saxophone.

Also I mean it’s not important but by the “joined by friends” made me think probably not any of her so called Riverdale besties, right? She won’t see them until august even though they’re all besties. Case in point, last night apparently princess met Charli for the first time in real life and said after an online friendship for years meeting for the first time. Which.. then it wasn’t really a friendship?

And PP was resplendent in sweat pants (and lookin' ever moar hefty, sorry, not sorry)....so yeah.....

Meanwhile, about TikTokD (TTD????), there's a IG story of his bday, taken by SlaveMichelle and she follows him, so yeah.....all child wannabe skater types....

Oh Crotchi, this is NOT how you "win the break up" OR ever get Cole's attention/make him jelly.....

Gimple never stated that caryl is just platonic besties as Kang did in one of her interviews a month about before they started filming 10c. I know it's taken think he was awful but i don't remember him labelling caryl platonic he even compared them to Bridget Jones characters in love triangle on one of TTD on season 7 when Khary blablaed that Daryl snd Zeke will be easily friends "oh yeah just like Mark and Daniel on BJ".

Either Kang gaslights and trolls caryl fans ( and then gaslights them also over fact they accuse her in trolling and lying) with her statements. Or she has something great in her pocket and doesn't want it to slip away but it's shitty way to hide it. Imo.

What do you think about Gimple? Do you really find him that awful as everyone incriminates him in? Do you feel that he loves Carol while Kang not? And vise versa with Daryl?

Okay--but just--no one come for me if you don’t like my answer, promise? 

I understand a lot if not most people have strong feelings about Gimple. Personally, I do not. I find the constant effort to vilify him rather amusing actually. When you sign on as a showrunner, you basically agree to be the lightning rod for the passionate fanbase, whether it’s fair or not. That’s just how it works. There were a lot of choices made under his direction that didn’t land with me. Minimizing Daryl’s and Carol’s relationship and sending them individually on wild tangents is definitely one of them (though looking at the big picture helps it make more sense). Not to mention killing Carl, who was supposed to be the beacon of hope, the slow as fuck pacing, and poetic dialogue. But I still got a lot of enjoyment from the episodes while he was in charge (Consumed, you guys). For the most part, the show still felt like the one I fell in love with. 

Now onto Kang. Despite what she may have said in interviews, which I’ve never found troubling myself, she has beautifully guided Carol’s and Daryl’s relationship to the forefront of the show and seems to know exactly where she wants to take it, which is super exciting. Under her, the show in general really dives deep into matters of the heart and also stresses the importance of representation. But just like with Gimple, her stepping up as showrunner has created new aspects of the show that I personally don’t care for. Stylistically, it’s abandoned a lot of the gritty realism to basically become a live-action comic book, which makes it harder for me to buy a lot of the action and even some of the characters. Speaking of characters, there are way too fucking many. I don’t know if it’s fear of fan backlash or just a strong attachment to the cast, but either way, it weakens the story. The characters that exist don’t really feel like characters. Judith is a good example of that. She’s just there to carry the torch essentially. In S9 and S10, I’ve caught more problems with continuity than all the first 8 seasons combined, though maybe I’m just paying closer attention now. I don’t know. While I’m glad the pacing is a lot quicker, it’s also jarring at times, like jumping from point A to point C. 

I guess the bottom line for me is that both showrunners have their strengths and weaknesses. I’m always going to give credit where credit is due, but I’m also cautious about over-glorifying. Of course they both love Carol and Daryl. Would they be making a spinoff for them if they didn’t? Just because they put them through the wringer doesn’t mean they take pleasure in torturing them. Characters and their relationships have to grow, and to grow, they have to experience hardship. 

@vaciiviity meme team!!

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind.

    sou and shin :’) i was pretty wary since we didn’t know much about their relationship yet. but with you writing shin, it was only a matter of time lmao.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for?

    hmmm. either sou and shin being gay or star and kaworu being besties :3 honestly,, i’m planning on commissioning one of my faves once they’re available again. unfortunately my absolute favourite artist doesn’t do commissions :’3 in regards to writers, i’d just poke you to write something 

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you into.

    well you got me into y/ttd and now it’s my favourite game ever and has one of my favourite characters ever in it xD pretty much anything you get into is great. j/jk was really fun, even if i’m not super into it anymore. dm is still beautiful. 

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?

    i put my spotify likes on shuffle for this. why didn’t you stop me? by mitski played. and that’s a painful satosugu song,,

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms.

    i’m gonna try pick characters i don’t write bc otherwise it’s too obvious xD

    akabane karma from assassination classroom     soma asman kadar from kuroshitsuji     portgas d ace from one piece      taiga aisaka from toradora     kleken from alchemy stars (tho maybe i’ll write him one day)