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#thoughts on paper
katherine-ophelia · 9 months
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I bathe in the sun light because it reminds me of the chilly nights where we would cuddle under the blankets—ever since you left, I can seem to replicate that warmth; no amount of blankets or hot chocolate could warm me up the way you could.
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msobscura · 9 months
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I have to change my age in bio from 30s to 40s soon and I feel some type of way about it.
Aging is a trip and something no elder ever explained to me is that you don’t feel like your age and you don’t figure it out, your meat suit just starts deteriorating at a certain point.
Being alive is… weird.
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th0ughts-0n-paper · 2 years
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I once heard,
“the funeral isn’t your worst day,”
because you have a bunch of people around you;
making sure you’re okay,
sharing in your grief.
The worst is the week after,
when the quietness sets in,
when you see their unused bed,
the chair they sit in that’s now empty.
Then it’s a little worse a month after,
when you’re trying to move on with life without them.
When your conscious goes from,
“they’re just gone” to “you’re never seeing them again.”
That’s the worst.
The empty spot where they were in your life,
the ache in your heart that makes that emptiness
a huge pit in your stomach.
It just gets worse.
But you learn to live with it.
That pit in your stomach, that ache in your heart,
reminds you of someone you loved deeply.
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idkitsjustmeandmyself · 9 months
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currently dealing with the fact that loving too much also means grieving too much when they pass away. im just having a lot of mixed feelings lately. i tried so hard to get to where i am now, to see love in all things and to love all things. i’ve said before that i never imagined being able to love so many people so much and it’s true and i am grateful for it every day. but i’m coming to realize that there’s another side to that. what happens when those you love leave? when they die? you don’t stop loving them, the love grows and morphs into grief and similar to how i’ve never felt love like this before i’ve never felt grief like this before. i keep waiting for it to pass like everything else does, like the grief i’ve felt before did. but still every morning i wake up and it’s the first thing i think about, it’s the last thing i think before falling asleep and sometimes it creeps up on me in the middle of the day when i’m outside and smiling and laughing with friends. maybe i’m just impatient, expecting things to change too quickly, but i’m tired of this feeling, it’s exhausting
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crazycatsiren · 2 years
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I was born to fight, and fight I will. I will be the she-wolf whom you can't hide from, the queen militant who haunts your dreams. You will rue the day you crossed me, you will never live down the moment you provoked me. I will be the last thing in this world you will ever forget, and trust me, you have only yourself to blame.
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Idk what to call this but…
In the excitement I lost myself
and the regret still ceases to grow
despite the contamination you caused
The hope sprouts through the cracks
in the part of my brain
that knows better than to yearn
for a melody to a song
that won’t ever be written.
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7. Sinking
It grips, and grips hard - I feel it in my toes It crawls, it creeps, it climbs up my bones It pinches my spine, it gives me shivers It rises up like goosebumps, but it stays forever
It doesn't let go, I can't shake it off I feel it in my every pulse as it throbs (It takes hold in my blood) It crushes my lungs, it chokes up my breaths Cold fire in my heart - neither alive nor dead
This terrible in-between, and I'm a puppet on strings I take my actions, but they're practiced swings Of someone not me - I don't get to be in the plays I'm my own audience of my own fate
It's an illusion of control - it's disheartening It's building hope only to bring it down shattering A slap in the face for trying more than I've been told For speaking up, acting out - for being too bold
My strength, my fight all slowly fading out All my conviction replaced with doubt It's trying to break me down - it's succeeding I'm battered, bruised, and bleeding
I'm so close to giving up, it will be easy Close my eyes, pretend it's all right, all breezy Lay down, breathe light - I'll just rest a while Why fight, why strive it's all futile
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moss-milk · 1 year
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I’ve searched for you in every crack of the earth
I’ve searched for you in every corner of the world
I’ve searched for you
I found you -
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h-definition · 2 years
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Have you ever felt so sad that it overwhelms you, seeps out of you whether you want it to or not. And this takes the rest of your emotions with it - happiness, joy, fear, anxiety, anger. Eventually you're empty, left with nothing to feel with. Like a carpenter without their hands, an artist without their colors, or a writer without their words.
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imagine getting twenty four hours of a fraction of a taste of what marginalized bloggers on this fucking site have been told "doesn't break TOS" for the past 15 years and deciding to openly threaten to just nuke the entire website lmfao
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corpseprince · 1 year
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we should talk more about cities that are vampires. cities that are cold and wet and sink into your bones and stay there. cities that are hungry and want to live. dead cities that dont know they're dead and suck the life force of their people to maintain the delusion. cities with harbors that are actually mouths; one-way entries. cities that are devastatingly lonely and see consumption as love
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read7sai · 8 months
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You know the fanfictions with the Schedule Update alway bring me the most joy- not cause i bookmarked it, but because i Reconized it !
Not trying to make a jab at anyone who updates after a year; but shoot remembering is how i express love and someone remembering to update on something brings me Joy!
Even little story which i follow just for a Gap year, when updated make me so happy someone else cares for a fandom. (Now this is a Jab be Mad)
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msobscura · 2 years
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I’ll probably get strung up by my toes for saying this around here but I don’t think sex should be the main course in the meal that is a relationship.
And I say that as someone who loves sex.
Sex is like delicious french fries that make a meal fun and yummy and feel a little bit like you’re doing something wrong. But you can’t be sustained on french fries. You need protein and green vegetables too - conversation, enjoying each other’s company, some shared interests, laughter, quality time. When you add these things the french fries taste even better.
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kaiserin-erzsebet · 3 months
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There is something I absolutely loathe about fashion content on the whole.
"What is your color season? Buy a whole new wardrobe." - I assure you that I am not throwing out perfectly good things I already have.
"Find your aesthetic and build a whole wardrobe around it" - again, this involves getting rid of things and buying new ones.
"Instead of buying this sweater, buy one that is pure wool." - I have news for you about how affordable pure wool is.
"Just go thrifting!" - Thrifting is not the gold mine that people seem to think it is. A lot of influencers are getting lucky because they live in cities where there is a relatively high turnover of stock at the thrift store. My average thrift store visit ends with me buying one or two things that 1. I like. 2. Are reasonably priced for the condition they're in. 3. Are actually my size.
If I had to sum up my irritation with this, it's that a lot of fashion content (and interior design from what I've seen) is that it is built on the idea that your life should have a unified aesthetic. But I would wager that most people have pieces and parts of different aesthetics cobbled together across different periods of their life. And there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to start over every time your "aesthetic" shifts a bit.
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canisalbus · 3 months
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perfeqt · 1 month
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It’s so hard to leave - until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.
John Green // Paper Towns
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