Dwalin: "Thought ye were avoidin' this route to escape the hobbit's wrath"

Thorin: "It's been 2 days, I'm sure he's over it by now"

Bilbo: "Oh look, if it isn't the asshole under the mountain in his idiot hat"

Dwalin, whispering: "I think he's still mad"

It just dawn on me … the three main kings from The Hobbit, have now come out as gay … Like Evans (Bard), Lee Pace (Thranduil), and Richard Armitage (Thorin).

Life really can imitate (Slashy) Art.

Another collaboration in the books! It was so fun to make this piece for @ahufflepuffhobbit's beautiful fic, Bruises on the Heart (Link to AO3). It's so tender and sweet and FUNNY – great comedic timing in this one, pals. I hope you read it :)

love how richard armitage not only enhanced thorin oakenshield’s gayness, but also, his fantasy autism.

Sometimes the Valar answer a prayer

Sometimes they must turn away

The Consort (complete)

The Consort (11364 words) by downstar Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Characters: Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Balin (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Thorin Oakenshield Lives, Domestic Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Established Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Fluff, Consort Bilbo Baggins, POV Bilbo Baggins, Sassy Bilbo Baggins, Misunderstandings, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Dwarf/Hobbit Relationship(s), Dwarf Gender Concepts, Dwarf Courting, Domestic Fluff, Non-Graphic Smut, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Cultural Differences, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Boyfriends, Gentleness Series: Part 2 of The Quiet Moments - Bilbo and Thorin Summary: After a confession of their feelings, Bilbo returns to Erebor with Thorin. The great city is in the process of rebuilding, and Thorin is settling into his role as his king. Word is getting around that their king has asked an outsider - a hobbit! - to be his consort. Can their burgeoning relationship survive the pressures of kingship and cultural misunderstandings? --- This fic carries on in continuity from my one-shot The King and the Hobbit. It's part of a series of one-shots or short pieces that exist within the same continuity and in the same timeline. Check the previous fic in this collection for the story of how the two of them got together.

Excerpt:

One evening, a few weeks into his stay in Erebor, Bilbo sat hunched over a heavy metal desk, perched high on a pair of cushions, his hairy feet dangling off the edge of the chair. He’d been hard at work for hours, drafting what would one day become the first chapter of their fated quest. 

Thorin approached him from behind and set his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m going to sleep. Join me when you’re ready. Don’t hurry on my account. Your candlelight does not bother me.” 

“Mhmm, be there soon,” replied Bilbo, his brow furrowed in concentration as he mouthed the words of the sentence he was trying to get just right. “Ah, Thorin, Thorin…” he looked up suddenly and swiveled around.

Thorin had just finished ducking out of his embroidered tunic. The flickering light of the roaring hearth set into the wall and the dim glow of the sunstones huddled up against Bilbo’s plants tossed flattering shadows across the thick muscle of his back. It also highlighted the pure white scar tissue rimmed in silver where Azog’s blade had sliced him through. Elvish medicine had saved his life, but he would always bear the mark of his nemesis and feel the wound echoed in the movement of his body. 

Thorin looked over his shoulder and lifted a brow when Bilbo called his name. “Mhmm?”

Bilbo found himself staring. He still wasn’t used to seeing the dwarven king in a state of undress, especially in so casual and intimate a moment. A physique such as Thorin’s was unknown among hobbits, which went some of the way towards explaining why Bilbo had never found a lover among his own kind. There was much more there, of course, but the physical nature of his attraction had caught him off-guard more than once since he’d found the courage to acknowledge it. 

Thorin noticed Bilbo’s wandering gaze and turned around. He made a bit of a cheeky show of leaning up against the wall next to the hearth, as if aware that the firelight did much to flatter his body. 

Bilbo swallowed, twitched his nose and tap-tapped his pen against a spare bit of paper he used to blot the ink. “Do you…” he cleared his throat, “...do you think there’s someone who could teach me Khuzdul? I should like to add some dwarvish script to my book. I’ve also heard that Smaug left the archive virtually untouched and there are many wonderful and ancient tomes that are still in good condition. But I can’t read any of them. And that…” he rapped his pen again, “... is a speeeeecial kind of torture.”

Thorin was a stoic man, capable of very subtle expressions. But the delight at hearing Bilbo’s request was immediate and obvious. He smiled, his eyes lighting up as warm as hearthfire. He crossed the great chamber to Bilbo’s side and reached out to cup his cheek. “I will send for a scholar from the Iron Hills to be your tutor. You will have the advantage of learning under a master of languages.” 

“That’s really not necessary. I can muddle along with some references and a helper. I don’t want you to go to a lot of trouble,” Bilbo replied. He felt the tips of his ears burn red, and he was suddenly grateful for the mess of his hair and the low shimmer of light. 

“... do you know why it is so important to know the names and meanings of all the flowers? It’s because before we hobbits had a language, we used to communicate with flowers instead of words! If you were happy you could show it by wearing a dandelion behind your ear. If you were sad, you could let others know by putting a Lilly in the Valley by your heart. When we developed our own language, Old-Hobbitish, which eventually was influenced by Westeron…we were able to use words alongside flowers to convey our meanings. It is said that flowers are so important in the life of Hobbits, that the colors in your eyes are from the flowers that most represent you! So, you, my dearest little one, have beautiful hazel eyes. You’ve flecks of gold like yellow Yarrow in a meadow! It means everlasting love, courage, healing, and good health. Then there is the beautiful green, which reminds me of moss…that has many meanings as well. One meaning is hard work, and the other is “you are the heart of your family” because moss can grow and hold fast even without roots, keeping families and friends together. Then you’ve even got some flecks of Tweedia blue, I’d say…which means harmony and tranquility…I believe all of these suit you perfectly, my dear. You’ll grow up to be a wonderful, loving, brave, hard-working, and harmony-bringing hobbit. That I can say for certain.”  -Belladonna Took, Chosen Horizons, chapter 7.

Forget-Me-Not: faithful love, remembrance, memory, humility, resilience, and the desire for loyalty.

Cornflower: romance, patience, refinement, hope in love, life, resilience, and freedom. “Be gentle with me”...

Larkspur: love and affection, strong attachment, and a desire for laughter.

Blue Poppy: Imagination, magic, luxury, success

Lungswort: joy, devotion, and admiration. “You are my life”...

Very long chapter this time. I didn't want to leave anyone hanging. Hence why it took so long to post.

CW: some angst, Bilbo shows signs of depression. Smut about half way through the chapter.

Comfort and Declarations. ;)

THEY’RE FINALLY HERE!!!

Also I’m cackling because Bilbo appears to have breached containment during shipping.

And is very smug about it.

I NEED more fics that include Bilbo complaining to the rest of the company about how "Thorin just bats his pretty blue eyes and everyone just falls to their knees! Well,- ! I, for one, will not be persuaded so easily! And he can go- !" and rants in the same vein, of how just because Thorin is hot, he thinks he can get away with whatever. Meanwhile the rest of the company are like "??? But Thorin's ugly???" Bilbo never hears this and they've all agreed to just leave him to his delusions

Not surprised AT ALL … but boy does this make BAGGINSHIELD just that bit more tasty !!

@lordoftherazzles has been writing an amazing bagginshield fic called Fuck Thy Neighbour. Last year the fic and some art was featured in the Fellowship of the Fics pinup Calendar 2023 (now the @tolkienpinupcalendar, sorry for the plug) Check out the art by @mysandwichranaway here, Make it Rain. So a new chapter was posted to day!! And I was feeling inspired so I thought I would make some mood boards!!

Chapter 1:

This is a quote from the chapter.

Chapter 2:

Great chapter, amazing love it <3.

Hello it's been a millenia by the way I can 3D print the planters and pots for my gardens this year.

I repeat, I CAN 3D PRINT THE PLANTERS AND POTS FOR MY GARDEN THIS YEAR.

Of course you know what this means.

EREBORIAN STYLE PLANTERS C'MON PEOPLE ITS THE LITERAL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF BAGGINSHIELD AS CLOSE AS WE CAN MANAGE IN THIS REGULAR WORLD.

Khuzdul runes. RUNES.

Thanks to my local library and maker space for all the free education and access to equipment.

Any suggestions for designs are welcome. :D

I present to you Bilbo, tired of this shit, Baggins

Faces of Bilbo Baggins appreciation post [1 of ???]