#this would also be good because we would have not one but THREE whole recurring female characters
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Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator
Part 1: The Story of Job
I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.
I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!
Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.
Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."
This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.
And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?
What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.
"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!"
"Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"
We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.
Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.
Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.
So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.
So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.
So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.
Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:
... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:
... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:
I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.
And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).
So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!
And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.
They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.
Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:
The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.
You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.
More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.
Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.
Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.
Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.
Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.
Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.
Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.
There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!
It's subjective. It's unrealiable.
It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.
The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):
God and Satan (still) talk to each other
We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.
God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it
So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.
Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels
"Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."
Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)
Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God
Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.
Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above
To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).
Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.
Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
Hugs and kisses, (God)!
#good omens#good omens season 2#gos2#go2#good omens 2#good omens meta#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#story of job#job minisode#good omens analysis#aziraphale is a storyteller#but not a very accurate one#my own meta
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🎶🎻 let's see if this actually helps me find this later
WIBTA for marking up my friend's sheet music?
ok so I (15m) have a friend (17f) and we both play cello in the classical music ensemble at our school. we have both been playing cello for approx 7 years. we had very different musical upbringings: she learned to play cello in a class with a bunch of other kids, and from what I gather there were many other instruments and the teacher took kind of a hands-off approach, which is typical for the kind of elementary school she went to. I, on the other hand, learned through private lessons (which I don't think I'm better for, it's just different) and my teacher (who I still take piano and cello lessons from) is a little bit obsessive when it comes to correct technique and stuff. I care a little less about technique than my teacher, but I definitely developed quite a few of her habits: I always pay really close attention to what the sheet music tells me, especially dynamics and which direction my bow needs to go in, or how many notes I'm playing in a bow stroke. part of this is because that's what the composer would have wanted and also because when I started my teacher would make me mark everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my sheet music. we're talking fingerings, bow markings, highlighting every chreschendo and decrescendo, putting the counting in for all of the rhythms and more. now I typically only mark super important things, like if I keep forgetting a note or something, and I rarely mark my cello sheet music in ensembles, though everyone has seen me mark my bass music, since I'm new to bass.
Recently, since it's about 2/3rds of the way through the school year and we have a good group, my ensemble has been playing more challenging stuff. the parts or more intricately layered and dynamics are a pretty big thing, especially for the cello section, since we basically have one line for half of a piece which is just to play some half notes that crescendo and decrescendo over and over. and it's like, all we do, like it's a pretty big part of the song. the issue is that my friend just kind of ignores the dynamic markings and bowings in the music and what the other cellists are doing (there's three of us, including me and her and she sits in between us) so she just kinda plays the piece at the same volume. the whole time. and it's written right there. and she's heard me play it solo without the ensemble before, so in theory she knows how to do it. and after seven years of playing the cello, you should have the bow control to play quietly.
now, this wouldn't annoy me so much if her ignorance wasn't a recurring thing. last year, we played aquarius with the jazz ensemble and we both really liked the piece. except we had this one part. we had to play a bunch of tied whole notes in the beginning. just two in a row and then we'd change bows. (if you don't play an instrument, a tied note is basically when the note is played over two measures, in this case we would play the same note fore eight beats, and then reverse the direction of our bow) now, I can hold my bow in one direction for eight beats. it's not fun or easy and I'd rather play a melody or bass line to begin with, but if you're playing quietly (like we were supposed to be) you can maintain a pretty steady pace for eight beats in one bow. my friend NEVER did this. she would just run her bow back and forth on the note until we moved on to the next and then do the same there. and I'm talking like she'd play maybe ten notes while we played one. which, obviously, through off the rhythm. we weren't as close last year and I didn't know she'd been playing as long as she had, so I ignored it. but, she kept doing it and she still does. I've confronted her about it multiple times, saying how it's like if you breathed half way through a note on a wind instrument, how it messes us up because her bow will go in a different direction than the other cellos and hit me in the elbow a lot, and how it makes us look weirdly messy. every time she just kind of says okay and walks off.
now, I think my friend could benefit from having her sheet music marked like my teacher used to make me, because clearly just mentioning it to her is not enough and as we move on to harder music it's making us look worse. so, wibta if I brought some extra pens and highlighters and reminded her to circle or highlight different dynamic, rhythmic and bowing notations if she doesn't play them the first few times?
What are these acronyms?
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If you were to actually write a tournament arc (be it in Aurora or a future story) fashioned in your own preferences and ideas, what would it be like?
Oh boy. That's an interesting challenge, because there are so many factors to the Tournament Arc that I just don't like on principle-
Foregone conclusion. If the tournament is centered on a final battle with the Super Scary Big Bad, as they so often are, the heroes are just killing time before they get there, and at least one of the heroes is guaranteed to get to the final round. If the stakes of the tournament are too high, the conclusion is set in stone from the outset. If the heroes are being forced to participate for hostage or supervillain reasons, their victory becomes narratively assured. If the heroes aren't being forced to participate by narrative necessity, then the whole thing becomes an even bigger waste of time.
Formulaic. There's only so much you can mix up a tournament format - environmental hazards, minigames, ring-out rules - and without that, it's just a linear series of fights. Can give the heroes a chance to show off their unique movesets, but narratively they're just ticking up a progress bar before they can get to the end.
Fuckton of characters. Tournament needs meat for the grinder, let's make several dozen characters to throw at the heroes of which maybe five will be memorable enough to recur later. Better make sure they all have interesting gimmicks too - otherwise the formulaic fights will become even more formulaic!
None of these are particularly enticing for me, so in order to construct a tournament arc I actually liked, we'd need to find some way around them:
To avoid a foregone conclusion, the tournament stakes can't be a simple boolean value with "heroes win" and "heroes lose" tied inextricably to things like "heroes save hostage" or "villain destroys entire world." The easiest way to do that is to remove "the heroes" as a single unified participant. It's not a question of whether good will triumph over evil, it's a question of which characters will win and under what circumstances? Part of the reason I liked the tournament arc in MHA more than most is the actual overarching victory was basically irrelevant and our protagonist got eliminated in the quarterfinals, because it was actually all about character development inspired by that fight. So splitting the heroes up, letting them work independently and making their opponents something other than a monolithic antagonistic force would probably help to reduce that issue.
Some tournament arcs also make things more interesting by having a single loss not categorically eliminate a character from the running - the Dark Tournament arc of YYH was pretty good about this, despite being way too long, since it meant protagonists could actually lose fights without being kicked out of the arc entirely, which was a very smart way to keep the tension going, since only a few fights became foregone "either the heroes win this one or they die" situations.
The problem of fights being formulaic can also be addressed here, although I think the more relevant way to fix that is to simply make sure the tournament doesn't drag on for too long. Like, three to five fights is probably the max number we can really focus on. But we can also dodge the formulaic-ness accusations by making sure the fights have more going on than just "which action figure gets mashed harder." This is where most tournament arcs solve things by making a lot of unique gimmick characters with weird powers (so the heroes can't just smack em around the same way every time) and by giving the heroes either handicaps or new abilities/powerups they're still figuring out. This makes the choreography more interesting, and honestly even a really boring plot can be significantly brightened up by extremely cool fight choreography. "They fight and [character] wins" is a single line in the screenplay that can translate into something very spectacular in the execution. But this is, again, something they did in the YYH Dark Tournament arc, and that was still way too much tournament arc, so I think plotline fatigue is a problem that can't entirely be solved by finding new spices to pepper onto the same bracket structure.
You can, of course, also add emotional stakes like "this character's self-worth is tied in with their victory" or "this character is being manipulated by someone else" or "this character is having a personal crisis and handling it poorly" or even something really basic like "the other people in this tournament think we suck, let's prove them wrong."
The "fuckton of characters" problem isn't intrinsically an issue, because it can also be an opportunity to create and introduce a lot of very interesting secondary characters, but it does unfortunately lock them into an extremely artificially constraining plotline. The problem with a tournament arc is it is literally the same subplot template over and over again until the finale inevitably breaks the format. It's an extremely rigid scenario to lock a character-driven story into, and no matter how individually rad parts of the fights are, the overarching structure is repetitive and it limits the characters' ability to shine. Ultimately, no matter how neat or complicated a new character is, they only exist in the arc to be defeated and then get out of the way of the plot. They can have cool stories when they show up later, but in the bounds of the tournament arc they're just more obstacles.
On paper a tournament arc should be a fantastic way to elaborate on a character. The number one recipe for cool character moments is putting that bitch in a Situation and seeing how they handle it, and "a bunch of different fights with different enemies with different powers and different rules" sounds like an ideal Situation Gauntlet. But practically speaking they're all the same! Outside a tournament arc, the stakes of a fight can be anything and the victory condition can be anything. The heroes can bypass the fight, talk down the antagonist, plan a heist, turn the bad guys against each other, organize a prison break, hide and be sneaky - they can find allies, negotiate with political leaders, get captured or rescued, protect someone from pursuit, navigate a hostile and unfamiliar environment, outwit a super-persistent predator, join an underground resistance movement, run off for an angsty solo arc - but within the confines of a tournament, no matter how wacky that tournament might be, everything boils down to a fight with a clear-cut victory and defeat condition. The space of characterization carved out by this format is very, very narrow, so I think legitimately the only tournament arc I would uncritically enjoy is a short one.
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What the hell is going on with Day Ten Thousand:
Day Ten Thousand was weird enough that I felt like it deserved directors commentary, even though I’ve stopped explaining myself mostly except when I do.
Here’s a disclaimer before we begin: don’t read too much into it. I've noticed our culture wants to explain young womens’ art as some sort of public confessional booth and our current culture has a fetish for the autobiographical. Fuck that. I didn’t write three different POVs and three interlocking nonlinear narratives about the nature of storytelling as a psychic technology to be told that my writing isn’t a calculated Craft with a capital C. Now whether it is good Craft is a decision for you, not for me.
Anyway.
Day Ten Thousand is a satire of an Isabel story by way of Vonnegut pastiche. We’ll come back to this.
I called Day Ten Thousand “psychoanalysis bait” on twitter so I shall put all my cards on the table so that your psychoanalysis is at least accurate. Note that these are only my cards, because other people deserve their privacy. I guess you could probably Google all of this but like, jeez. Don’t.
I had a pretty regular time in college except for the tangential deaths.
When I was twenty, I was the opinion editor for my university newspaper and a girl who was a friend of a friend killed herself by walking in front of a subway. There was then a sort of a small suicide bubble which was a little bit public because we were an Ivy, and one of my opinion columnists was kinda suicidal, and I, without any training, ended up in charge of writing a front page editorial about the mental health crisis on campus on account of the dead kids, etc, and talk to administration about the dead kids.
I hate talking about dead kids. Don’t ask me about it, or about the reporting. I don’t want to talk about it.
The whole thing sucked shit and it’s why I’m a lawyer now and not a reporter.
If this was a story that would be the only fact, but this is reality so I have to mention that a couple years later a guy I knew got literally hate crimed and murdered in a forest. I found out about that because I saw his friend crying in public and didn’t stop to ask what was wrong. Later I heard about this in the news, and realized my acquaintance had been Literally Fucking Murdered. A few months ago I had been arguing with him in the literary magazine editors meeting about whether a poem was good or not. I think he won that argument. Then he was murdered for being gay.
These were my introductions to the specific emotion of “sometimes people die and you don’t feel like you get to feel bad about their deaths and you still think about it a couple times a month seven years later.”
You can probably guess where the subject material of this story came from.
Day Ten Thousand was a story about inevitable deaths, and the difference between a death in a story and a death in reality, and about…the way a death marks a narrative and a real life and how it becomes fictionalized over time. I also saw a clean way to finally do my deep time / far future story, which was something I had been thinking about on and off for a couple of years (the original version was about a shaman in the deep-time era who has a vision about having to do a murder re: preserving genetic material for the future, but it never really gelled in a way that made sense).
I had also been wanting to write something a little metafictional, because I felt like I was writing the same story over and over (if you’ve noticed my stuff getting weirder, that’s why. I was on a bit of an experimentalist kick late last year and early this year).
So it’s a satire of an Isabel story. I’m self-aware enough to note my obvious recurring motifs: time travel, dead people, grief, people who have a weird relationship to each other, a third-act twist, the tendency to punctuate with in-universe facts to imply emotion, to tell x in order to show y, egregious and blatant use of the second person. And then there’s the stuff that you wouldn’t know, but I do: I dislike writing in the first person, I wanted to do something nonlinear, I think a lot about stories about stories, about the idea of a story as a technology, I find myself dropped into recursive fate-like thought patterns. So a lot of this story is both my self-deprecating poking fun at myself and my habits, and also my thesis statement about…what is the point of fiction if not to make sense of the past and the future, I suppose.
The reason it is a Vonnegut pastiche is because I like Vonnegut a lot and I was trying to do something Slaughterhouse-5-ish with drastically less fucked source material. Sorry Kurt.
There are three stories happening in Day Ten Thousand, and a secret fourth story. Each story is a suicide loop. The protagonist is trying to break a specific loop by telling a story. This story is about accepting what you have to, and changing what you can. This is a story about letting go and also not letting go. The emotional range of each narrative affects the other psychically, because by changing the vibe of the metanarrative, the individual narratives are allowed to change.
The story in the archaic is a story that is being told postmortem, it is all hypotheticals based on fact. The story in the future is a singular narrative happening in real time until it isn't. And the story in the present is a guy telling the story about the future, which requires him to tell the story about the past as well, and mostly what Dave is doing here is avoiding the question, but it reflects how Dave thinks about the girl dying in front of the train.
Does that make sense? No? That’s fair. That’s a postmortem explanation of what actually happened. What actually happened is that I rewrote Day Ten Thousand six times, each time more frustrating than the last, each time with the neutral-ish narrator taking up more and more air. And over time the narrator became a participant, and that’s what created the secret fourth story between “you” and the narrator.
I had thought there were only three loops that needed to be escaped - the past (archaic, pinned story), and the future (space station, mutable fact), and that the present (the narrator’s world) was something that was static (pinned fact). After all, the girl’s already dead. She’s already stepped in front of the train.
But the narrator isn’t doing so hot. The narrator is also Dave. And the narrator is telling the story to someone. Somewhere between version one and version six, I realized the only version of this story that makes sense is the one where the story is a conversation, and that you and I, as the narrator and the person at the other end, were also in a loop.
So. That's whats happening.
I’m not sure if I love the ending. But I rewrote it six times and this one felt as final as it is going to get. I am done reinventing the fucking wheel. You know how it is with spaghetti. Promise I’ll write you something normal next time, I think I’ve gotten the avant- garde out of my system for a few months.
And hey, I know I said all cards on the table but people deserve their privacy and that includes the kid i used to be when I was twenty, sitting in the shitty little windowless opinion column office, writing about suicide.
Anyway. Day Ten Thousand is about stuff and things. Themes. So it goes.
Thanks for reading. I’ll see you later.
If that was too depressing for you, here are some fun facts:
The main character is Dave after 2001: A Space Odyssey because I had wanted to make a “I’m sorry Dave I can’t do that” joke, but I couldn’t shove it in :(
I just thought that phlebotomist was a funny word but I also fucked myself because I misspelled it every time.
I reread half of Slaughterhouse Five to write this but then my copy got returned to the library automatically so I didn’t finish it. (yes, I’ve read it before, like three times)
I took one single evolutionary anthropology course in college and it shows.
I did end up looking at the wikipedia page for “the wheel” for this and then wondering exactly what I was doing with my life.
About half the facts in this are real, and I read a couple of papers for a couple of things in it (that I promptly then ignored), but the rockets-rome-horse’s ass thing is specifically a story that my friend Max H. likes to tell.
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So I originally wrote this back in August when this release was fresh and then!!! APPARENTLY!!! just COMPLETELY forgot to post it!! so you get it now, three months late.
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Some of the dialogue from the Guardian Tower has been living rent free in my head and now I want to yell about it because it’s SO GOOD for background lore
Okay, so, on the first floor, Mindi tells us this:
I really like this because it helps illustrate one of the logistical problems of the Rose. Like, even if you took away everything else that makes them bad (which, admittedly, is most of the organisation and its purpose), the fact that they tend to, by default, present themselves as the only option and drive out competition is bad. On paper, a force of people trained in combat against magical threats, with reasonably easy access to that training, which has garrisons stationed across the land, is actually a pretty good solution to the whole Recurring Evil Magical Threats thing. We know this because the guardians and the paladins and the dragonslayers exist! They do this! The Rose seems to make membership easier to access but, frankly, I suspect that is in part because their training is less thorough.
And when the Rose show up and drive those other groups out (like they’ve done with the Guardians), they don’t actually improve anything. Best case scenario, everything is exactly the way it was before. More likely, things would get worse, because the people with active experience defending a particular area have been driven away and now the Rose members have to play catch-up
(A good example of how on paper a group like the Rose could help an area is Book 3 Amityvale. The local Guardians were long gone, so the Rose were able to help without doing that extra damage and made Amityvale a safer place to live....... but that’s specifically for the human inhabitants. Plus, we know they’re affecting the magic of the area - Amaris’s moon has started having phases - and that’s! probably not good! Also see: Raven having to flee for her own safety after getting bitten by a werewolf. Even where they are ostensibly doing the most good, the Rose are still an active danger to many, even their own in the wrong circumstances)
And, meanwhile, on the ground floor...
......further proof that the Rose actively try to drive competition out of the area. Falconreach has repeatedly made it clear that they want nothing to do with the Rose and they keep picking fights with the patrols.
#dragonfable#tags following this are unaltered from the post as it was drafted:#look it's been a little bit vague re: Are The Rose Still Blockading Falconreach's Port And/Or Is It Still Canon That They Were Doing That#but the Rose ACTIVELY PICKING FIGHTS WITH THE GUARDIANS? that's SO juicy#Falconreach is. as far as we know. the ONLY big visible safe haven for magical beings.#Ravenloss and Sulen'eska are both actively hidden#Falconreach is a refugee safe zone and the Rose are THE PRIMARY REASON MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE REFUGEES#and the Rose have been trying to MOVE IN on that territory#they pick fights with patrols from Falconreach's defenders OFTEN based on that ''again''#I bet you that's not a secret#I bet you the people of Falconreach KNOW that this happens#is it any wonder that the Rose showing up after the Calamity War offering to help rebuild almost incited a riot?#that would've been setting off SO MANY warning bells in SO MANY people's heads#most of Falconreach probably didn't hear an offer for help. they heard an enemy they've been fighting off try to get in through a weak point#and I can't blame them#tags from here on added when I found the post again:#so I did post /some/ of these thoughts. including some in the tags. I just did it in many thoughts head full mode#there was a lot of 'something something' in that one. this one I put a bunch of it into words#I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to post this and it sat in my drafts for three months. ridiculous#also I miss horizontal line breaks so much.... give me formatting again tumblr.......
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"Bob's Burgers" Season 9 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)
So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.
Now, on to Season 9:
Average (Mean) Score: 4.55
Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5
Ranking Breakdown: 12 5s 10 4s
Season as a whole thoughts:
"Bob's Burgers" is turning nine and it's feeling *uses inhaler* fine!
Seriously, this is just another really excellent season in my opinion. It joins Season 4 and 8 as one of the seasons to not getting any episodes rated lower than a 4, and it's average score is good enough for 4th place of the currently ranked seasons below 7, 4, and 5. In some ways, it reminds me a lot of Season 7- a great mix of humor and heart along with introducing some new characters and other innovations- it's definitely representative of the series at its best, in my opinion.
Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):
"Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for Now": It's a tough call, but this might be my favorite season premiere and my favorite "musical episode" (ie: one with more than the typical 1-2 songs). All the songs are absolute classics and great parodies of romantic comedy tropes! it's really a brilliant episode. It's hard to name a favorite song, but I think I might have to go with "Friend Zone" just because "Now let's kiss over this cake/'Cause it's your birthday, I guess" always cracks me up. The baby rat subplot is also really fun, and a great use of Hugo. And this episode gives us another (brief) appearance of Louise's Boo Boo crush, which is one of my favorite running gags! A great way to start the season.
"The Taking of Funtime One Two Three": While we're on the subject of great songs (or we were recently) "let an egg roll, from your egg hole" and "if wooly mammoths had had wheels maybe they'd still be around" are among the "Bob's Burgers" song lyrics that are always living in my head. Sadly, I rarely have an occasion to say either of them in conversation. I do like to say "To what end, people?!" occasionally, so thanks for that, Trip. Anyway, this is another classic "The Belcher Kids and their friends have an adventure episode" with a healthy does of Mr. Fischoeder and some fun moments with Yuli the security guard, one of my favorite minor recurring characters.
"Tweentrepreneurs": I love this episode because it helped inspire one of my favorite future career headcanons for Louise (and an outlined multichapter fic I'll probably never write). While taking over the restaurant or being a film director seem like the most obvious future career for Louise, this episode has the biggest of about three canon moments that inspired my "Louise Belcher, future labor union organizer" headcanon. I worked in the labor movement for several years and I just think would Louise would love it- taking on the rich and powerful, helping other people stand up for themselves, causing good trouble- it's a really good fit for her. And here she is, leading a walkout at age 9! (And, given my fondness for her relationship with Rudy, I have to mention that it's her concern for his health that is the final straw leading to the walkout.)
"Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street": Probably my favorite Halloween episode; definitely has my two favorite Halloween costumes! Rudy and Bob are probably the two characters I relate to the most, and it cracks me up that their costumes in this episode are totally things I would do: "what? It might look like I'm wearing normal clothes, but actually I'm totally Paul Rudd or Bruce Springsteen, can't you tell?!" Also, I don't think I've mentioned before how much I love the guy who's about to throw the candy into the incinerator. He's really one of my favorite one-off characters. Dude just got out of six month coma, doesn't know what day it is, still goes to work...and apparently will just throw anything into the incinerator that anybody tells him to (unless he gets a more compelling reason not to)? I think he might rank second after the "Boyz 4 Now" security guard as my favorite nameless one-off character.
"I Bob Your Pardon": Maybe my third or fourth favorite Thanksgiving episode! I've always had an interested in politics and journalism (I wanted to be a journalist when I was a kid) so this hilarious small town Thanksgiving turkey pardoning scandal really hits a lot of the right notes for me. If I had become a journalist, I definitely would've stolen "Well, somebody better call Huey Lewis because I may have found myself some news" as my catchphrase. And the end credits song is a total banger! "Don't you taint my mayor!"
"Better Off Sled": An excellent Christmas episode! Generally speaking, Louise and Logan's dynamic isn't really my jam, but I enjoy them here. The one-upsmanship of the snowball arms race is a lot of fun, and the "stupid Christmas" ending is sweet but not too sweet and feels totally in character for Louise. Also, I can't help but love this exchange: "Then why does it look like your butt could take a sheet of fresh-baked cookies out of the oven?" "Genetics?" (Kristen Schaal's delivery of "genetics?" is one of at least three times on the series when she absolutely kills me with her delivery of a single word). All that being said, I think Teddy is the real comedic MVP of this episode- pretty much everything he says cracks me up! And I love that Rudy is basically the one who saves the day for the Belcher kids! And Knitcracker, I can't believe I didn't mention Knitcracker yet! (That said, it's still not my favorite Christmas episode since it doesn't involve any references to murder mannequins.)
"The Helen Hunt": I feel like this might be one of my least popular shipping opinions but...I like Teddy/Kathleen! Not in the sense that I want to create fic or art for them, but I just think they are kind of sweet together. Like with Roger and Judy from "Aquaticism" they have that "awkward middle-aged people finding each other" vibe that this awkward middle-aged single person finds appealing. And I think her pretty easygoing, laidback nature is a nice contrast to how stressed out/excitable Teddy can be. And I always enjoy people who watch odd sports! Okay, Teddy/Kathleen aside, I also just enjoyed that they did a followup to "Housetrap", and the father and hot son plumbing duo subplot is so cute! "You, you make plumbing fun..."
"Bed, Bob, and Beyond": One of the things I've noticed in this rewatch, is that I really enjoy the three-story episodes (aka vignette episodes aka triptychs aka who knows what else some folks have called them.) I think what I really enjoy is that the reason for them is always different, and therefore it always says something different about the characters and their situations. it's not just the Simpsons having a trio of non-canon Halloween adventures ever year. I think showing Linda and Bob having a stupid fight, and the kids view of it and their efforts to get them to reconcile, was a really clever use of one of these stories. Also, if I am ever asked to do an English accent, I will likely say "I'm watching footie on the telly in the pubby where the beer is". (Which is probably offensive, so please don't ask me to do that!)
"Every Which Way But Goose": Another thing the rewatch has made me appreciate more: Jimmy Jr. and his relationship with Tina. I never hated J-Ju, but I will say that I probably took him and the Tinimmy relationship for granted- it's been there since almost the beginning but I never really thought much about it. But the rewatch has helped me realize how funny of a character J-Ju is (it's just a really funny voice by H. Jon Benjamin) and how the Tinimmy relationship has given us some really funny episodes- most notably this one and "Ex Mach Tina", which are both all-time classics in my book (and, of course, they play a big role in "Bob Actually" as well, but I like that one for other reasons as well.) To me, it's clear from this episode and others that J-Ju does care about Tina...he's just very much a 13 year old boy. So, he's occasionally thoughtful but more often dumb or oblivious. Also, the end credits song to this one is another classic. I wish I could go to a concert of "Bob's Burgers" music just so I could scream out "secret kiss with Bruce the Goose" with thousands of other excited concert goers, because that is what that lyric deserves, dammit!
"The Gene Mile": So, I recently posted about how much I enjoyed some of the Rudy moments in this one. This is another great "Belcher kids and their friends" adventure; and I really wish that Courtney and Alex had more appearances in stories like this- where they and their relationship with Gene isn't really the center of the story- they are just part of the gang! It's always fun to watch different combinations of the kids have fun together. Also, nice for Large Tommy to get his largest role- going back to Season 1 of the rewatch it's funny to think that he was introduced much earlier than some of Louise's more iconic classmates (Rudy, Chloe, Millie, Jessica, Harley, etc.).
"P.T.A. It Ain't So": I feel like this might be the first example in the rewatch of an episode that really grew on me. A lot of the episodes I've given 5s to were ones I remember loving as soon as I saw them. Or they were "sleeper hits" that I had basically forgotten about before rewatching. This episode I remember when I first saw it, and I remember thinking it was fine but nothing great. But on rewatches I just find myself enjoying it more and more. I really love the Kim and Sons hardware store bird subplot- especially the ridiculous flyer the kids make. Also, it's fun watching the kids play with their pipe in the background (such a great kids being kids moment)! But the PTA stuff is great too- I love the fact that Tammy's Dad is Linda's PTA bestie for some reason! And Linda's idea of Colleen being in the shark suit for the dramatic revelation! And the Bleach Boys! Also, as someone who headed a neighborhood political group for a while, Joanne's line "Do you have any idea how many emails I send a week? No, you don't because no one reads them" resonates with me.
Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):
-More great new characters continue to arrive on the scene! Hi Susmita! Hi Arnold!
-I would totally watch Randy's movie "A Life, Well, Steved". "And I thought to myself, 'I can't take another hurdle. I think I am that baby turtle.'" That's some beautiful, profound stuff there.
See you in the Season 10 post! It could be pretty soon since I've already watched rated it all- just need time to write!
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Does anyone think the concept of tsats would have been better if instead of going to save bob or whatever the book was just set in camp the whole time. Like maybe during those six months Jason had been alive and our favorite characters were still at camp.
Like since Riordan pretty much agreed to it for fanservice and bc people wanted him to, it would’ve been WAY more interesting and satisfying to watch how Nico lives within the camp now. What friends he’s made on his own outside of Wills cabin. What he likes to do now at camp, like training other kids with weird techniques that no one’s ever really seen, him making strange looking clay sculptures in arts and craft, therapy sessions with Dionysus etc…
We could’ve read about those things Jason had wanted to do with him at the end of BOO, like eating together in the palivion, sleepovers with that creepy Zeus statue in Jason’s cabin watching their every move, playing capture the flag and for the first time ever people see Hades symbol appear across the fabric when Nico gets it to the top of the hill (instead of Athena or ares).
We could’ve seen the Stoll brothers remembering him from TTC when they’d tried to get him into poker and now they keep trying to keep him to do a bunch of illegal stuff and pranks on the other cabins because he can be the ‘getaway driver’ and shadowtravel them away. We could’ve seen Clovis helping Nico with some of Nicos dream magic he displayed in BOO and helping Nico navigate even some of his worst recurring nightmares.
We could’ve had Hazel visiting and having adorable sibling moments. We could’ve had the hunters visiting and Nico being kinda distraught about Reyna joining them but they talk about it and patch that up. Also with there being four big three kids at the camp at one time (Nico, Hazel, Percy, & Jason) camp half blood FINALLY wins a game against the hunters for the first time lol. With Hazel and Nico being the ones to get the hunters flag lol.
We could’ve had a scene of Nico babysitting baby chuck and being strangely very good with babies and his gentle and sweet side coming out and it makes some of the campers see him differently.
The progression of Solangelo could’ve been wayy smoother as well. With Will nonchalantly revealing being open about his bisexuality, and Nico realizing how many other kids were out in camp as well and finally gaining his own confidence by seeing kids his own age being themselves.
We could’ve had Will thinking Nicos darkness is cute in a way and it’s revealed embarrassingly by Kayla that all Wills past crushes have always been, like, hella goth.
We could’ve had scenes with Nico helping Will with gory injuries and Nico being delighted at the many colors wounds can take on (flashback to little Nico talking about Percy’s wound in ttc “ooh, it’s green!” Nico said with delight.’) and Will thinking it’s cute how Nico keeps commenting on the fluids leaking out of someone’s dismembered leg and the patient in question just screaming in pain while Will makes heart eyes.
We could’ve had a scene where Percy and Nico talk about Nico having that crush on him and Percy always forgetting about him and calling on his help but never truly appreciating it and they make up satisfyingly for once. (But Percy’s still a bit miffed about how much better Nico’s friendship with Jason is than with him lol)
We could’ve had another chariot race but this time with Nico and Hazel in one and everyone thinks they look terrifying. BECAUSE THEY DO.
Like, honestly we didn’t need this kind of book about the most lethal place in their universe but then have it practically only talk about couples therapy and how to like the person you’ve literally been dating for a year…. 🙄😒
Like sometimes less is more if you know what I mean.
#nico di angelo#tsats#hazel levesque#nico and hazel#solangelo#tsats spoilers#alternative story#underworld siblings#jason grace#percy jackson#the sun and the star#tsats review#chb#pjo hoo toa#fandom critical#riordanverse#will solace
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wait smosh taskmaster would be SUCH a massive slay wow. immediately my mind went to shayne as alex horne ! but greg i could see as diff options bc i don’t think any cast members embody that archetype personality wise as is but i could def see them put their own spins on em as a character if that makes sense ? would love to see what damien or chanse could come up with (bonus pts for being tall). but i also just realized arasha would be good too lmaoo. OH and that tommy as greg and spencer as alex would be SO good. and then for contestants would love to have angela, two that don’t end up in the above roles, keith, and than a rando crew member that we don’t see that often to shake it up - maybe vida bc they killed it in tntl and they do improv? wait also loved patrick making a reappearance so him as well. obvi would love to see most of the cast /crew participate as contestants if it’s like a recurring series ! ok clearly this show is perf for smosh considering i included a bajillion people in this ask pls kiana i’m begging 🙏 - spencersagnew
@spencersagnew YOU. YOU GET ME. i love your takes,,,, shayne as alex and arasha as greg specifically is everything to me. i'll put my cast out there but your takes are incredible and you've never been wrong.
tommy as the taskmaster. i think he just has that dry humor and can lean into the antagonistic nature really well while still being a fair judge and interacting well with the contestants. he's also just one of my favorite hosts of anything ever so ill let him do whatever he wants
garrett as the taskmaster's assistant. LISTEN. LISTEN. we need someone pathetic. someone who can be a punching bag. someone who's a little unhinged. someone who will get bullied by the cast and just take it, but also someone who has the Audacity. and That's Garrett. he fits the bill. i'll say honorable mention to shayne bc i think he would do this really well too but there's something about garrett that i think people would just take to using him as a puppet, a prop, whatever they needed for their tasks. and then get shit from him as soon as they're in the studio.
ian as contestant number one (The Grumpy Old Man). look, i have the taskmaster casting system boiled down to a science. i truly believe almost every cast can fit into these categories (almost! almost all!) and so i'm going by the same metric for smoshmaster. and we're starting off strong with the grumpy old man archetype. i think he'll be generally annoyed by everything. tommy, garrett, the other contestants, the tasks, whatever. he has a really dry sense of humor that'll balance everybody else out, and an above-it-all attitude that you can't help but respect. examples of this include julian clary, frankie boyle, and dara o briain.
angela as contestant number two (The World's Strangest Woman). every season needs one woman who just goes about the tasks in The Most Insane Way, and that's angela. point blank period. is she gonna win? probably not! but who knows! she's a wild card! she's the one who says her legs are basically just arms without fingers, you know. i think she'd just panic and do. whatever. no planning, go with her gut instinct. she'd also be super competitive and her reactions when she realized just how bad she fucked up.... incredible. examples include lucy beaumont, jenny eclair, and fern brady.
spencer as contestant number three (The Loveable Goofball). look. LOOK. you know him. you love him. he probably won't win. but god is it fun to watch. he's generally kind of pathetic, and while he fails miserably, you can't help but root for him, feel bad for him, and point and laugh at him all at once. he's going about the tasks either half-heartedly or putting his whole soul into it with absolutely no in-between. he might win an episode, but it's because the edit is throwing him a bone. spencer's really good at putting on that character of. miserable dude. the heel of it all. but also balancing that out with his quick wit and intelligence. he's perfect for this. some examples are susan wokoma, ivo graham, and john kearns
chanse as contestant number four (The Fan Favorite). he's hot. he's smart. he's funny. everybody likes him. he is the People's Champion. everyone wants him to win - even the taskmaster is a Little biased. he has electric chemistry with everyone, somehow, you can't really figure out how. he absolutely kills ALL the tasks but especially the prize tasks. i also think chanse would just have the funniest reactions to what everyone Else is doing. like i think he'd stand by what he did until the bitter end (even if he did something fucking insane) but everyone else he would relentlessly make fun of. god i want him on this show so bad. anyway, my examples for this are sam campbell, kiell smith-bynoe, and munya chawawa.
courtney as contestant number five (The Only Competent One on the Board). everyone else is fucking insane, but courtney is holding down the fort. she's always handling the tasks in a smart, efficient way that seems like the most logical way to go about it. they frequently outsmart the prompts and the competition. whether or not they win it all, they just seem like they deserve it most. her humor also brings a really nice balance of riding that line of silly goofy and smart and quick. i think courtney rounds out this cast really well (and is my personal pick to win <3). examples of this are sue perkins, mae martin, and sarah milican.
im flexible on the teams, although i think my personal pick is spencer / courtney / angela and ian / chanse bc. comedy to me. also i will say i think i could go on for like. at least two more seasons building different casts truly this is not the Only combo. anyway kiana call me i've got big plans
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In celebration of the Animaniacs reboot’s THIRD season coming out soon…
I’m going to list a few things I think the second season of the reboot does better than the first. Here we go:
1. It gave Nora some much needed development. She gets more screen time in general this season, and because of that her character is more fleshed out now. We find out she's a mother and despite the fact that she had previously been established as selfish in season 1, she buys her daughter whatever she wants to compensate for her lack of parenting skills. That doesn't necessarily make her a good mother, but she's clearly trying.
We also find out the reason why Nora's a competitive person and why she mostly only looks out for herself-her upbringing. We're shown that her sisters often belittle and mock her. Not only that but her sisters are twins, so Nora undoubtedly felt like the odd one out amongst her siblings all her life.
There's also her great grandmother Flora Dora, who's is a very successful business woman that Nora looks up to, and it seems like she aspires to be just as successful as Flora Dora. Flora Dora also constantly organizes competitions at family gatherings, something that clearly reinforced if not encouraged her to be a competitive person who's a firm believer in pulling up the ladder behind her.
2. It goes even further with the dark and adult humour than season 1 did. Season 1 had a few instances of characters going from saying hell and had blood onscreen a couple times, and the swear jokes were more blatant than ever, but otherwise was about as adult as Animaniacs usually is. In season 2 we still have blatant swear jokes...AND a character admitting to inc*st, slavery and genocide are mentioned and not sugar-coated at all, Nora straight up mentions doing drugs, Pinky unintentionally committing murder...there's quite a bit of death this season actually, etc. Granted this shouldn't be too surprising because the reboot does have a higher age rating than the original series ('93 was TV-Y, the reboot is TV-PG). Animaniacs is literally more adult than ever (whilst still being a kids show of course) and I am here for it.
3. THE SONGS!!! Season 1's songs were very good, Animaniacs songs usually are, but season 2's music was really, REALLY good! It had a lot of variety too: rock, rap, parody songs, Broadway showstoppers, electro pop, swing, etc. My personal favourites were "Warner's Ark", "I Am The Very Model of an Ancient Roman Emperor", "Magna Cartoon", and "Yakko's Big Idea" (*cough*buy/stream the soundtrack*cough*).
4. The "running gag"/recurring joke of the season was better (there are less reboot jokes). Season 1 was funny, but I gotta admit they ran the whole "this is a reboot of a 90's show" joke into the ground. Like I get that the show is meta but they made that joke every other episode to the point where felt like they were repeating themselves. So I'm glad season 2 dropped that. There are quite a few jokes about and references to "Yakko's World", but 1) They at least tell us something about Yakko as a character by showing how much he values that song and that he seems to canonically be sentimental towards it, and 2) They were more creative with how they would reference it or use it for a joke each time, whereas most jokes about the show acknowledging that it's a reboot in season 1 are essentially just the characters stating "this is a reboot of a 90's show!" over and over again.
Plus bonus things I wanted that aren't necessarily "improvements":
A Plotz Cameo
Assuming that was him and not just an expy or relative of Plotz. If it was him does that mean he's not retired? Is he just an actor now? Either way it was cool to see!
A Wakko Song
I was hoping Wakko would get a song number this season, and he did! ("Gruesome Ol' Gruel"). Maybe we could get a longer one next time though? Like, at least a minute or two? Preferably a rock song please? Honestly I think Wakko has the best singing voice of the three Warners, I just wanna hear him sing more!
A Yakko Solo Segment
...probably should explain this one. You see, in the original show Wakko has SIX stories basically all to himself where his siblings either aren't in it for long or don't appear at all ("Potty Emergency", "Clown ‘n’ Out", "Ups and Downs", "Bingo", "Go Fish", and “Ten Short Films About Wakko Warner”). He even gets another one in the reboot "Wakko's Short Shorts: Now Loading"). Now on it's own I don't mind this, in fact I think it's a good idea for each Warner sibling to get their chance to shine on their own without their siblings every now and again...the problem is that didn't really happen. Other than "Dot’s Quiet Time" (a segment's that basically a song number full of gags) and "Dot’s Poetry Corner" (a series of very short bumpers), Dot only got one story segment, “Cute First (Ask Questions Later)”, and even that took 93 episodes to get to...in a 99 episode series. Great.
Meanwhile Yakko literally only gets to star in a segment on his own if it’s a song ("Yakko’s World", "Yakko’s Universe", etc) or if it’s a one off gag/series of bumpers they’ll only do for one episode ("Useless Facts", "Disasterpiece Theatre", etc). Other than that he has ZERO stories in which he stars by himself without his siblings being present for a lot of it. Admittedly, Yakko was kind of a spotlight stealer in earlier episodes of the original show, so maybe the writers caught on to that and gave the other two solo segments intentionally, but still none of those segments were just him, his sibs were still there. I just would've liked to see Yakko star (mostly or entirely without his siblings) in a segment with a story (not one where the whole segment is a song, not a bumper segment) just once.
So imagine my delight when the reboot not only gave us just that, but also made it an homage to my favourite Looney Tunes short, "Duck Amuck".
"Yakko Amakko" was one the highlights of season 2 to me, plus I loved the ending. He did what Daffy and even Bugs Bunny couldn't do, actually outwit the artist, how awesome is that?!
Many people thought season 2 was better than season 1, and I can see why (I personally like both seasons about the same-I think season 1 is better than season 2 in some areas, but season 2 is better than season 1 in others). There's also little things like Dr Scratchansniff being a recurring character again or how they actually referenced the PatB spin off this season (because correct me if I'm wrong but season 1 never made a direct reference to the spin off) that I almost listed but didn't have too much to say about them. They were neat.
Hopefully season 3 will turn out to be the best season yet!
#animaniacs#animaniacs 2020#animaniacs reboot#yakko wakko and dot#yakko warner#wakko warner#dot warner#the warner siblings#the warner brothers#the warner sister#the warners#nora rita norita#pinky and the brain#mr plotz#thaddeus plotz#animaniacs season 2#animaniacs season 3
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Stargate rewatch: 1x21 Within the Serpent's Grasp
We’re back in tarp city, quite a circle back to the pilot.
Daniel sans glasses once again, urging the team to go through the gate to the address he got in the AU. Jack still doesn’t believe him and Sam is concerned about a court martial, but Teal’c is immediately on board.
“In the other reality by the time I left Sara was dead, Carter your whole family was dead, hell I was dead, everyone was dead.” Interesting that Daniel specifically mentions Sara here, I wonder if the Jack/Sara relationship was something they were considering revisiting at some point.
The first use (I think) of the black BDUs by the team.
Is Daniel wearing contacts? At least in the earlier scene he had his glasses hooked on his shirt. I realise I’m harping on this but there doesn’t seem to be any continuity to Daniel’s vision.
Story by James Crocker (his only Stargate credit), teleplay by Jonathan Glassner, directed by David Warry-Smith.
Our first use of the Zat’nik’tel - unpopular opinion maybe but I love the Zats, they become somewhat of a crutch as an all purpose stun gun rather than the “extreme pain” they’re introduced as inflicting, but that’s how it goes.
Jack, Daniel, and Sam being floored by the ship accelerating but not Teal’c is a nice touch.
It’s Ferretti! Confirmation that he took over from Kawalsky leading SG-2. I always liked Ferretti, it’s a shame he wasn’t more of a supporting/recurring character in the show. In fact I don’t think we see him again after this episode? He’s off to get into prosthetics on Andromeda.
Some continuity issues with what Teal’c knows about the Ha’tak vessels in this episode compared to later on - his knowledge/experience really is dictated by the episode requirements.
The Jaffa turn on the big ol’ silver ball of communication and Apophis dials in to introduce his son Klorel. It’s a bit of a retcon from the pilot but I discuss my headcanon explanation in that episode writeup.
Daniel shifting into rage mode at seeing Apophis.
Also lol at everyone in their beanies but Jack. RDA really said nope, caps only for O’Neill, no exceptions.
The discussion the team has about whether to try and capture Klorel/rescue Skarra is actually a nice mirror of the one they have in The Nox - Jack and Daniel, being emotionally invested, are keen to do it despite the risk and are quick with justifications (Jack - it would be a strategic advantage, Daniel - they could try and reach Skaara), Teal’c supports them with his own tactical logic, while Sam appropriately questions the plan and makes sure there’s a contingency.
It’s part of why they make such a good team - each of them bring a different skillset and pov to each situation, and they have the respect for each other to talk it through.
Sam and Daniel plant the C4, and apparently Daniel’s glasses were clipped to his shirt after all, because he takes them out and puts them in a vest pocket for some reason.
For Daniel's snark about "uploading a virus to the mothership" the previous episode, it's kind of lol that their solution ends up being just blowing up the mothership - uploading a virus in the form of explosives.
Jack and Teal’c actually nab Klorel pretty easily in the end - it’s holding onto him that’s the problem.
“He is my father. He seeded the queen mother. He chose the host in which I will live out eternity. Apophis gave me life.” I suppose we’re meant to assume Amaunet is the queen in question but I really wish they’d done more with the familial relationships - both of the Goa’uld and human sides.
Alexis Cruz gives a great performance as Klorel, really pushing Jack’s buttons.
After Jack shoots him with the Zat, Skaara calls for both Sha’re and Daniel 🥺
Skaara is able to maintain a degree of influence over Klorel even when he regains control - afteraffects of the zat, Skaara’s strength, or because Klorel is a young Goa’uld not yet experienced in controlling a host? Perhaps all three.
Klorel gets Daniel in the hold of the ribbon device (but of course!), and Jack has to make the agonising decision to shoot Skaara to save Daniel’s life.
I mean, if I had a nickel every time a member of SG-1 has to shoot one of Daniel’s family to stop the Goa’uld that possesses them from killing him with the ribbon device…
Maybe it’s not that weird it happened twice, since Jonathan Glassner also wrote Forever in a Day.
“O’Neill, you must take action!” Why doesn’t Teal’c take action? Someone run over there and tackle Klorel instead of standing around watching Daniel’s brain get fried!
But of course it has to be Jack - Jack who brushed by Daniel in the pilot to greet Skaara, but has grown closer to Daniel since he joined SG-1; they started out only united by a common goal (find Sha’re and Skaara) but have started to develop a real bond. It’s the emotional climax not only of the episode, but the whole season in forcing Jack to chose between the lives of his surrogate son and his comrade and friend.
Added to this is the trauma of Jack being forced to stop Skaara with a gun - Charlie died in part due to Jack’s negligence around his gun, but Jack actively had to shoot Skaara here and that’s heartbreaking.
A nice mirror to the end of the last episode, with our team staring down at the Stargate framed by the control room of the SGC, and now they're staring down at Earth framed by the Pel'Tak.
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mucka blucka (intro into cacophony) by Chonny Jash is a huge Shallan song (unfortunately it works even better when you know chonny jash lore which i doubt you know)
OUGHBH GOD YEAG. even from the album cover I can see it's gonna be good. alas I do not know the lore but I'll do my best!
huh this kinda fits with how much she controls and conditions her own mental state...
she do be a bard (Lightweaver)
yeah! this lyric is also a kenzie lyric btw :)
and now i. am having Emotions about shallan using jokes and stories and art as emotional first-aid for her brothers. shallan the emotional field medic, putting pressure on the wound even as the bullets rain down. she's a bit like kaladin with bridge 4. trying her damnedest to help those around her even in an actively traumatising situation.
LMAO, OKAY, THERE'S LOW HANGING FRUIT HERE...
...but I'm really more invested in this bit, which I think also fits her past. Trying to help her brothers but knowing that the abuse just keeps recurring.
GOD, FUCK, YEAH. yeah. YEAH. that's her past. we've seen the effects of Lin's abuse of her brothers, now we're seeing the trauma he inflicted on her by forcing her to put up the perfect-daughter facade in front of guests - the me that's shown to everyone else. "Gets paraded" also hits; I think Shallan's past was a lot more dehumanising than many people realise, that she was treated in large part as an ornament to use. And "stuck underground" fits with how she's restricted physically to the house, restricted socially to her family and immediate guests, restricted emotionally and unable to express herself except in fear behind closed doors, restricted intellectually with her neglected education.
fits on vibes alone! the contradiction of shallan davar. I'm sure there's way more to say about this too. To me, it's Shallan in Kharbranth - pride in what education she did manage to scrape, and joy in her newfound freedom, clashing with her hidden mission to steal Jasnah's Soulcaster, her shame at realising how insufficient her education was, and the echoes of her father (and mother, though I won't elaborate because spoilers for the asker)'s treatment on her self-esteem. Also, she's seeing Pattern here, and thinks she's going mad. Fun times!
The "I/We" pronoun shift is also interesting. Someone who knows more about DID could probably say more about it than me, but from what I understand DID develops to deal with trauma, and some alters take on more(?) of that trauma - so maybe this shows the Three system as a whole taking on the burden, while Shallan gets a breather to act as a more carefree scholar? But then again, I'm pretty sure she wasn't plural yet at this point, so idk if it would work that way.
AND SPEAKING OF THE THREE AS A SYSTEM!! I don't think this necessarily maps directly onto the Three, but it's kind of the same idea, right? Different parts of oneself to take on traumas/'tolls'.
And this is exactly what Shallan consciously wants, thinks she needs, but must move away from as a Lightweaver. She must admit truths about 'the man behind the lines', whom she hides with jokes and art, to progress in her Oaths and character arc.
This whole part feels like her trying to turn Pattern away at the start of their bond. Which I don't recall whether she did, but feels like something she would do.
[cough] LIGHTWEAVER!!!!!!
This bit reminds me of how Hoid tried to help out younger Shallan, iirc, encouraged her, but she still had to go back to her home and experience further trauma.
h.ough. yeag. don't really have anything to say abt this. i think this fits something (someone?) that happens in RoW, but spoilers.
[deep breaths]. holy shit. that was. a Lot. um. yeah really good song about trauma and identity and fracturing of the self and art as a means for concealing, expressing, and shaping one's identity! incredibly shallan. and incredibly Three.
#shallan davar#not all Shallan songs are Three songs imo but this one is definitely both#banger tunes for my blorbos#stormlight archive
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only the option with the LEAST votes will be eliminated. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):
kit tanthalos and graydon hastur:
Classic arranged marriage trope but the she-hates-him part never goes away because she’s in love with her best friend/bodyguard Jade
alexa, liana, jeremy, and ian:
the Only barbie animated movie where the girl(s) do not end up with a guy.
alexa & liana live together and enact a ton of romantic tropes together, the twin guys do flirt with them but then the girls are separated from them by... a magic rainbow. they do dance together at the end of the movie... before the girls leave to go live together again. wearing dresses that are literally the bi and lesbian pride flags. no joke. cottagecore wlw separated from potential male love interests by literal magic rainbow
the gayest barbie movie
tobias funke and debrie bardeux:
Debrie starred in a series of softcore gay porn films called Straightbait where she seduces a guy but tells him he has to sleep with another man before he sleeps with her to prove how attracted to her he is, thus proving he isn’t gay. Tobias is also super gay. They date for like 40 episodes and raise a son together.
Tobias gets left by his first wife for not being sexually attracted to her and then has an affair with a gay porn actress from a series called straightbait
I just think it’s pretty funny.
haruhi fujioka and hikaru hitachiin:
Haruhi x Hikaru from ouran high school host club. Yes i know she technically gets together with another boy in the end, but there is something so Queer about this ship in particular. Their whole date episode is just screaming Not Straight. For both of them.
ash ketchum and misty:
They’re basically set up as a kind of enemies to friends story and they make recurring jokes about how she clearly has a big crush on him, but nothing ever happens
My childhood, i shipped them when I was 10
cali and flynn:
It starts off as a one-sided crush on Flynn’s side, and later becomes mutual when Cali develops feelings for him in the Skylanders IDW spin-off comics, their romantic tension lasts for most of the franchise (five games, a chapter of a spin-off comic, and a few bits and pieces in the spin-off books and mobile games), so far they’ve never gotten together as the franchise is currently still in hiatus mode (says this while on extreme copium)
I think we need to appreciate the tropes in Calynn: Opposites Attract, Tough Girl x Himbo, Smart x Dumb, “You’re stupid, I like that in a man” vibes all over this ship!
Seven year old me didn’t see Cali calling Flynn her guy in the sky whilst Flynn looked at her with heart eyes to lose to some other pairing!
alec hardy and ellie miller:
They're your classic workplace enemies to lovers. Alec takes the job that Ellie was meant for, they're forced to work together on a devastating murder case, they bond.
Over three series Alec becomes more human and lets his walls down around Ellie, and she begins to respect and trust him as a colleague and as a friend. Its a Big Deal when they hug. In most cases, especially when it's an m/f detective duo, they would end up together. But yet. Thee David Tennant and Olivia Coleman did not even have an aborted kiss or feelings confession. Neither of them end up with anyone else but they don't hint at anything at the end either.
Queer Ally of all time David Tennant does straightbait ironically.
good luck everyone! now go vote!
#singles tournament round 3#willow#willow series#willow disney+#willow 2022#barbie and the diamond castle#barbie movies#barbie#barbie cinematic universe#arrested development#ouran high school host club#ohshc#pokemon#skylanders#the legend of spyro#broadchurch#poll#polls#poll tournament
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My Thoughts About Hot Boi Summer ‘23:
CW/TW: i will be non-specifically AND specifically referencing at least semi-nsfw content so please dont read if that doesn’t fly with you in any way, please be responsible!
[PSA: THIS IS MY OWN OPINION OKAY - AND I MEAN NONE OF IT WITH ANY MALICE - TY]
DAVID:
Holy shit what the fuck this was Amazing (im referencing the poll on this post because erik did the results on stream, so yeah). David was in my top three picks for the poll and I was gutted that he didn’t seem to get very high - but i think that’s coz it was the first video, so maybe people had forgotten about it/it wasn’t as much in the forefront of the majority’s minds by the time the poll was released. Pretty much no negative thoughts.
VINCENT:
WE NEED MORE CUTE 7/11 DATES OKAY PLEASE ITS SO SWEET. Ofc the snack puns coming in Clutch ugh i loved those. My only issue (“issue”) was literally the same as why i wasn’t over the moon when sam was voted for the ba (sue me. i liked it anyway) and that was just that we had a vincent one a few months ago, and also a pretty pre-sexual vid after that. Also the fact that lovely literally grabbed his junk in semi-(hah, pun)public, but it’s the anti-PDA in me that disliked that part, so feel free to ignore it!
AVIOR:
Also in my top picks!!! I was a tad gutted when we didn’t get his. Saw a lot of posts begging for people to vote for it because yk him n starlight have been in literal Hell for years and therefore they deserve some smut time. Super cute vid, “A Romantic Night” is totally the right descriptor for it and also AYO WHIMPERY AVIOR??? YES. sorry ahem it’s the demons.
GAVIN:
It was so good. The premise of getting a more subby gavin? chef’s kiss, more please. everything about it was good and i WISH the ba had been how i expected it to go, but we aren’t here for my criticisms of That, so whatever. It links back to an old non-canon Huxley preview vid that was taken from us (RIP) when the channel lost loads of vids, or at least thats what it reminded me of, with the whole BBQ-and-somewhat-sexual-teasing aspect it was amazing and i would like to see more switch-esque gav in the future (*manifesting*)
LASKO:
Not too much to say considering I started this post as a way to lightly complain about the poll results, and Lasky wasn’t on the poll, obviously. Regardless, I’m glad this video went the way it did, I think we’ve seen a lot of lasko being quick to jump the proverbial gun in the last few years, with his non-canon vids, and hooking up with gavin, etc, so it was nice to see him break away from that and ask to move slower coz hell yeah dude, progress and growth!! and i think it shows how much he wants the relationship to be more natural, and not racing ahead, even if he does in part want that - it was sweet as hell.
ELLIOTT (ft. The Dragon):
I gotta say it right off the bat that i just found the video on the more boring end. *POLICE SIRENS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND* AH FUCK-
I’m just not overly surprised that i think Eli got some of the lowest results on the poll, I enjoyed the video, and i liked it (this will be a recurring statement) but i just didn’t like it As Much. Lots of people (including me, ngl) wanted more of the dragon - but erik’s not about to do weird fantasy not-fully-bestiality-esque stuff guys - and i’m pretty sure I only liked it coz cmon it’s erik doing another hot voice, im gonna be down horrendous BUT NOT FOR AN ACTUAL DRAGON. i am Not donkey from Shrek. And yeah, i know Eli’s powers can be kinda limiting with what they can bring to the (pun not intended) sex-table, but does all of his spicy stuff have to be in a Dreamscape? idk.
ASHER:
My Second Favourite Hands Down. How people picked Sam over riding Ash in the front seat of a rental, i’ll never understand /lh the horn may make me jump every time, but it’s okay, there’s repentance in the tongue kissing, and i stand by that, it was the best bit (or one of the best bits), No Criticisms (except Ash please don’t have sex in a RENTAL. wait until you get to a bedroom at least PLEASE-)
GUY:
Again, i liked it but not as much. I love Guy, he’s one of my favourites, i can’t really say why i didn’t like this video as much as I normally would, maybe the concept just wasn’t rolling with me as well - the whole idea of post-concert seemed vaguely random, but you could argue that about all of these, so it doesn’t count. did anyone else see this or was it just me, coz if it is then i will quietly wave my flag of solidarity from my hole in the ground where nobody can see it.
ANTON:
I voted Anton. It was the sadness with the feelings and the horniness spicyness towards the end, ugh I loved it, Anton come home from war soon please (im terrified he might die because despite everything, nothing Death Related had happened in project meridian yet, and let’s face it, it’s gonna.) - it was nice seeing a different but also soothing take on the “your lover is leaving for an indefinite amount of time” thing, and how it changed in comparison to James’ video on it. Anton deserved the continuation okay. No aggression though.
SAM:
This is where I might get more argumentative because I was so disappointed that Sam won the poll, even though I love sammy. It seemed slightly out of character?? with everything we know about Sam, it just seems so unlikely that he would go to a club, let alone start getting, uh, “busy” n shit while at one. he’s not a big fan of PDA because of his past, in my opinion, and i think overall he’s very private, so the setting and stuff just seemed out of place, it would’ve made more sense for Milo’s or smth to be set there - but hell I can’t tell erik how to write his own characters lmao - and still, the ba was Great. with a capital G.
MILO:
I fell asleep listening to this the first couple of times, which says a lot already. The sensual massage trope has been used as a gateway to presumably spicy off-screen things before (Aaron’s HBW ‘21, Asher’s HBS ‘22) but idky it wasn’t hitting as well as it normally does, maybe it’s wearing thin on my brain. ofc it’s redacted content so i’m gonna eat it up like it’s ass (crude but true) but i listened to it through without falling asleep and was like “yeah it’s good, i like it, but also eh,,,” - like i mentioned, it would’ve made more sense to me if Milo’s and Sam’s were swapped around - anyone agree?
CONCLUSION:
as always, all the videos were really good, and despite whatever came across through this post, overall, i enjoyed all of them, so please don’t take this as a criticism towards erik or any of his work, trust me, i absolutely adore it - i say it every time, but every time it’s worth saying, and also please don’t cancel me. this was a really long post, so a lot of people probably won’t read it, so if you made it this far; well done! have a star 🌟- don’t be afraid to leave any agreements or disagreements in the notes, i love discussing stuff with people! thanks for reading
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#hot boi summer#jed’s food for thought#i can’t tag all the characters okay please it’s too many
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heyyy hellaa, please tell us your favorite fics of all time, from any fandom, because i wanna know what makes your brain go vroom !!
WOULD LOVE TO OKAY:
haikyuu:
three sheets to the wind by fairycake - we have sakuatsu we have found family we have pirates we have a surprisingly coherent balance of plot and fun times we have a prank war we have miya twins content we have idiotic background sunaosa we have PIRATES there is literally nothing to dislike here when i read the description of this fic i thought it would just be dumbassery but it wound up being so much more and i got so attached so quickly and the ending was just so heartfelt if i could read this again for the first time i would
burden of blame by deathbelle - OUGH the writing of this one is just. jesus christ. atsumu's characterisation? kiyoomi's characterisation? protective miya twins? the miya twins interactions themselves? if you took away the yakuza angle id be CONVINCED this was all canon bc the author just Gets the characters. maybe my fav sakuatsu fic ever
the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu - iwaoi have entered the chat!!! one thing about me is i LOVE a good recurring metaphor, but a super niche one when you can tell the author knows their shit? respectfully i am drooling. this fic is just so raw and real and it really hit home for me and even to this day when i see it im all !!!!!! a must-read for anyone in the haikyuu fandom
jaywalkers by batman - multi-ship but im gonna say it was more gen for me than anything idk if that's just bc none of my big ships were in there (aside bokuaka <3) or if i just latched onto the gen aspects but yeah u really dont need to ship any of the couples in this to absolutely be blown away by this. like holy fucking shit. this is my last haikyuu rec but it is also my first and quite possibly my favourite fic of all time. if you read anything from this whole list, read jaywalkers. i have never had a fic impact me the way this did and ive never come back to a fic so many times as i have this one bc im very much one of those people that once ive read something i dont get much enjoyment from rereading it no matter how much i like it. but idk something about jaywalkers has me in a complete fucking chokehold and has done since i read it over a year ago. the way this author writes is just so effortlessly human? like it's funny and realistic and messy and in-character and BECAUSE it's got so much dumbassery it really hits you out of nowhere when the deeper shit comes in, but it still works perfectly. ive never seen a writer so perfectly capture humanity before. whenever im struggling to flesh characters out, i return to this work and see all the effortless ways this author does that, whether it be through kei's headphones or kuroo's hair or oikawa's chameleon or every tiny tiny detail that is important enough to warrant a mention bc it's what makes these characters real. im just. god. yeah. also the final author's notes actually made me tear up
jujutsu kaisen:
found in translation by hiraethia - kai kai kai kai. GOD all of kai's fics absolutely gut me but this one just really stuck with me. kai's got such a specific writing style where she just makes really poignant and beautiful metaphors flow very easily, so it's never jarringly deep until you actually take a second to think about what you just read and you're like what the fuck and then it very much IS that deep, and that means kai gets a perfect balance of fluff and fun as well as just heart-wrenching tear your hair out kind of angst, which ofc works perfectly for satosugu
two drifters, off to see the world by quietkids - you have to have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to angst if you're gonna ship satosugu and id say i qualify for that and i also very very very rarely cry over fics, but my god something about this fic just destroyed me. im too scared to read it again. i cannot even comprehend how devastated i was upon finishing this like it wasn't even the gross loud sobbing kind of devastated it was just this awful ache that followed me around for DAYS and that takes so so so much talent any and all kudos go to this author. the thing about college-era satosugu fics that anhialates me so much is the helplessness of it. it's all so tragic and 'there is no other version of this story'. you watch them try so hard to make it work and every time without fail you know it all goes wrong anyway, the love was there but it wasn't enough. and somehow this author just grabbed that sentiment and put it into words and i just. OW
at the end of the world by freckledgeto - hi two of the bestest jjk writers are my mutuals and im bragging about it. alia wrote the itafushi (+first year trio friendship) roadtrip au specifically to hurt me im sure of it. not to get into the incredible writing parallels of jjk, but just like their predecessors, itafushi is all about that helplessness, the knowledge of how this is going to end and still trying to fight it, but while satosugu is usually very deep and dark and heavy, itafushi are the younger, fresher version, and alia writes to accommodate that so seamlessly. it's fun and silly and they're so clearly KIDS in it, and it makes it all the more heartbreaking when it stops being so fun and silly. specifically itadori's character is done beautifully in this fic, but also megumi's characterisation gave me an entire new angle on him that id never had before. the whole thing makes me want to punch a wall
atla:
where the stars do not take sides by witchofendor - honestly any fic by this author is always so well-thought out like the worldbuilding is always INCREDIBLE, but i just lovedddd this fire siblings in this and just the whole concept of it. this is my canon. i actually really want to reread this fic when i get a chance
blue by blacklipscurse - this will always always be THE zukka fic in my opinion like just JKSHGKJSHDGJH i miss when this was updating. the zuko characterisation in this is beautiful zuko and iroh's relationship is beautiful but also one thing that really stuck with me from this fic is the fire nation girls' characterisation? like ive NEVER seen a fic get azula like this but also TY LEE really stuck out to me. like she WOULD be so terrifying with her cheerfulness while she literally attacked you and this is the first time i actually felt that
feels like we only go backwards by oldpotatoe - RUBY WE MISS YOU <3 the writing of this fic is absolutely exceptional like there's a reason this fic gets so much hype. the angst? the romance? the slowburn? the falling in love twice over? the sokka and katara moments? give it to me straight into my veins pls
ozymandias king of kings by think_of_a_wonderful_thought - the first zukka fic i ever read and it's really stuck with me. ive said before but this fic really inspired me and is the reason a lot of taob is the way that it is. i LOVE zuko's characterisation in this bc he's different to canon but in a way that makes perfect sense with the divergence we're given. i also really liked hakoda in this? like not that he was being mean to zuko but just that the author wasnt scared to make him a good leader in a REALISTIC way, aka very cynical towards a fire nation prince. you'd think it would be obvious but people get very aggy when you're mean to zuko lol
salvage by muffinlance - obligatory mention <3 beloved fic <3 what to say about salvage that hasn't been said before. it's just an absolute staple of the atla fandom and CREATED its own trope that i very much capitalised off. i just think the whole concept is so so brilliant and it's such a heartfelt fic. it'll always have a very special place in my heart
#missing so many fics that i love in order to make this pretty short but oh well#i read in other fandoms but it's just these three that seem to churn out the real chokehold fics#i also avoided one-shots for this list#here u go <3#ask#fic recs#haikyuu#jjk#atla
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I think once I do Ys 8 I'm basically caught up, but first Dragon Quest 11 for a bit.
I played the demo on my computer a couple years ago and was really impressed. I spent at least a dozen hours on just the demo and still didn't run out of stuff to do, and I was enjoying the retro vibe in a more modern and polished package.
Then I decided to wait for it to go on sale at an arbitrary price I decided I was ok with. And then I kept waiting for multiple years because it just keeps never hitting that point on Steam.
I ended up actually paying slightly more than that for a used physical copy for the Switch instead, so good job Squenix, you got $0 out of that instead of like 10% less than what you would've if you'd dropped the price slightly more over time.
The problem with that is that now I have to redo all the stuff I did in the demo, and the beginning of the game is slooow. Painfully so. And on top of that the game is just painfully slow in general. It would be instantly improved by speeding up literally everything by 20%, even without redoing anything to fit the slightly faster pace.
The default camera speed takes a full five seconds to do a 360, and even at the max speed it takes at least like three. This is a recurring problem for me in a lot of Japanese games, and less often in games from other places (who tend to screw up their cameras in different ways). If the maximum speed isn't too fast for me to comfortably use your range of speed settings is too narrow.
Unsurprisingly to go along with that the walking speed is also really slow compared to what I'm used to. It has separate speeds for indoors and outdoors, and really the outdoor speed is how fast the indoor one should be while the indoor one should be reserved for stealth/sneaking sections (and those should stay in games I don't play because they're just not fun for me). It's especially painful coming directly from Ys 8, where the slowest walking speed is faster than the fastest one in DQ11, plus it has a run button to go faster, plus you can equip an accessory to turn it into a run even faster button.
There's a setting to change the combat speed, but really that wouldn't address most of my problems, and also it makes the animations look weird, which is a shame because there's a lot of excellent animation work in the game, like every different enemy has their own set of animations, and they're all extremely expressive and charming.
Unfortunately it tends to make you wait through the entire animation every time, including the full transition to their idle animation, when normally most games would move the camera or start accepting input again somewhere in the middle of that process. Also if there's a musical jingle that plays for any reason (e.g. winning a battle, leveling up, a new party member joining, saving your game) you have to let the whole thing finish playing before you can do anything (and anything includes mashing buttons to skip through stuff you've already seen dozens of times), which is also an extremely long delay compared to what most games do.
I swear if the camera and run speed were more reasonable and all the little things that make you wait around extra time doing nothing were tweaked a bit the game would instantly go from 100 hours to 60-70 and feel much better too.
Also while we're at it can we get some menus that suck less, especially the terrible inventory? I know a lot of the weird quirks in the game are things that were inherited from the older ones, but sometimes you just need to change them to make them actually functional, and you can reference the old ones with visual design or something.
It's a great game in a lot of ways, but it sure does manage to suck in others at the same time. I wish I'd just paid the extra five bucks and finished the game in 2021, because redoing all this stuff at the beginning is painful.
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Ch.3: HAPPIER THAN EVER
Chapter 3 of Cherry Blossom (college au)
A/N- it’s a good chapter, I’m proud of it ;) let me know what you thought! Since this is also a cherry au, I’ll say this, this story will not affect Cherry whatsoever!
Warning- Swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol use, LONG CHAPTER! SLOWBURN, talks of death, ptsd and slight mentions of domestic violence
Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader
(Let me know if you want to me be tagged)
————
September Thirtieth. Time: eight twenty-one am. Battery percent fifty-one.
You: I’m sorry about yesterday. Things happened and I couldn’t make it, I wanted to let you know but my phone was dead all day. Can we make it up today?
Jean probably won’t answer anytime soon, or at all, but he needed to know you are genuinely sorry.
He might not believe you. You know you wouldn’t believe it, but from the bottom of your heart you were remorseful. And you truly did plan on making it to tutor him, but things did truly end up happening and you couldn’t go home until the next day.
Hopefully he understands. Even if you aren’t giving him a good reason, the true reason why you weren’t able to go like you agreed.
You probably seem like such a bitch, damn.
Fuck.
You exhale quivers and you stop outside some black gates to glance at your phone screen to see if Jean had answered.
But no, only Eren and Furlan messaged you about a hundred times this morning—you’ll answer them after…you visit Marco.
With that thought out, you put your phone away and hesitate a few minutes outside the black metal gates to contemplate walking in. You’ve only visited him once after the accident, exactly a year after because your therapist said you were ready to face the reality of the outcome. You stayed in front of his grave for about five minutes and just stared at it the whole time before leaving. You haven't returned ever since, it’s been two years since then. And it’s been three years since he died.
Why exactly did you find yourself at the cemetery right now? Well ever since you were in that trippy place, the memories of him have plagued your mind. Walking to the cemetery early in the morning on your way home is the only time you knew you would be able to force yourself to come.
Completely walking in seems harder than it should be though. Albeit you are able to at least walk past the black gates; but the way to his grave seemed like hundreds miles away, like it was out of reach. Like it was at the end of a dark tunnel that didn’t seem to have an end.
Your heart kept insisting you to move, but your mind…the guilt you carried held you back again. No matter how many sessions you’ve had in therapy, no matter how many times people have told you that you weren’t at fault for his death, you haven’t been able to feel anything else but guilt and grief. Three years has not been enough time to process his death or the accident that caused his unfortunate doom. If you’re honest with yourself, it’s felt like you’ve been stuck these past three years. Life has been a dark recurring endless loop, same thing day after day.
You want to break out of that loop that’s kept you trapped, recently you have felt cracks that let light shine through, but you’re still stuck.
Maybe you do need to talk to your therapist again.
Anyhow, you’re already here, standing on the gravel path. You have a bouquet of flowers in your hand, you don't need to stay for hours, just put the flowers down and maybe talk for a few minutes and then return home. No biggie.
“I can move my legs and walk there,” you say to yourself, “I can do it.” You glance at the white lilies in your hands and then glance at your path ahead. You continue to contemplate for a few more seconds, but you end that hesitation by drawing in a deep breath and slowly releasing it out of your lungs. “I can,” you say one last time before walking towards Marco’s grave in a confidence that slowly began to dwindle the closer you got.
By the time you were facing his grave that confidence was nonexistent, but you got to where you wanted so all you needed right now was courage to speak and take a step closer.
Yet fear paralyzed you. Only your eyes moved to read Marco’s name on the grey stone over and over again, as if you were trying to understand what you were reading. Everything else around you was blurred, letting you just focus on the sight in front of you, but it wasn’t enough. You could barely breathe normally, your legs cramped, they felt like when an arm or a foot fell asleep; and it began to panic you out of fear that you'd relapse and wouldn’t be able to walk again. You wanted to turn back more than anything, but you kept strong and stayed.
You force yourself to relax, and drop that tension from your shoulders and legs to slowly step forward and crouch down to put the bouquet of flowers in a small vase.
Being in front of his grave wasn’t easy whatsoever but you’re trying. However you couldn’t start with what you truly wanted to say, so you just began with something else instead.
“It’s been a while I know.” You sigh and tuck your hands in your coat pockets. “It’s also early, but well, Eric left before I woke up, like it was some one night stand.” You click your tongue and drop your eyes to the green grass and keep quiet for a few minutes before continuing. “I began talking to this guy. Or, well I began tutoring this guy, his name is Jean Kirstein….he’s uh…cute…very,”
You smile and sit down, finding it easy to talk to him only because you were pushing away what was trapped inside your heart.
“He’s a little bit of an ass, but it’s tolerable. I’ve only talked to him for a bit, but he’s….he’s nice. Sweet. I can tell, you know I’m a good judge of character.” You scoff and pull your hands out to drop them on the grass that was a bit wet due to the morning dew that was still on the ground. “But I think I screwed that up. Eric kept me with him yesterday, he….well we spent time together, so I left Jean deserted. I don’t think he’ll talk to me again. I don’t deserve it.” You stop and your eyes flicker to the stone. “I’ll apologize in person tomorrow when I go to school.”
You sigh and frown as you begin to tear the grass blades off the ground. “I know what you’re going to say…I thought you were going to break up with Eric…I was…I think about it everyday. But…” you pause and clear your throat. “Well…maybe I deserve to be with him. It’s not like he makes me feel any less lonely. Honestly I feel more alone when I’m with him, but maybe I deserve that tough love for what….happened…” You pause again and swallow back that thick lump in your throat that began to grow.
Yet it kept coming back up and it made it hard to continue talking. You didn’t have any water with you so you kept swallowing thickly until you couldn’t anymore, you tried to clear your throat, but it wouldn’t work, you couldn’t make yourself speak another word. No matter how much you strained yourself.
Tears are all that manage to form instead of words. Instead of talking you just punch the ground out of frustration. You stand to your feet and step back from the grave, you keep looking at it in hopes you could keep talking but it was too hard, you were getting too choked up, your chest was too tight and your legs shook too much.
So instead you walk away, with each step seeing your eyesight blur more and more with the tears that cloud your eyes. You feel your throat tighten and your chest only get tighter to the point you were having a hard time breathing. You rushed out the cemetery in hopes you’d feel better, but no matter how far you were getting, or how fast you were walking, you felt the same.
Which is why you thought of calling the first person that came to mind, the person that could bring you some peace of mind, but Eren wouldn't pick up the phone. You kept calling and holding back the tears that just clouded your eyes, but he wouldn’t pick up the phone. You were alone, walking down the street with tears that you held back finally breaking out and streaming down your cheeks, and silent whispers of words finally traveling out of your lips as well. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”
You clench a fist and cover your mouth to silent the sob so those few people you passed wouldn’t question you. Your chest felt a little better, letting you breathe a bit better, but overall you felt terrible.
And getting home wasn’t a relief.
“Y/N?” You hear Levi calling you from the living room.
However, you ignore him and put your hood on and quicken your pace to reach your room without having him see you. “Hey, come here we need to talk.”
You keep quiet and hear him following after you at a quick pace.
“Y/N.”
“Leave me alone,” you retort in hopes he’d listen.
Just as you’re about to reach your door, Levi grabs your arm to turn you around and force this talk on you, but you didn’t want him to see that you were crying so you did the best thing you could so he’d leave you alone for sure.
“I said leave me the hell alone!” You exclaim and yank your arm away to open your door and storm inside to then slam the door shut.
When you were inside behind the locked door, you stayed in front of the door to watch his shadow leave so you could walk to the farthest end of your room and just fall on the floor to ball yourself up by hugging your knees against your chest and crying on the ground.
While you’re on the floor, you reach for the necklace you keep insisting you had, but once again it was missing so you just pressed your forehead against your knees and cry until your phone vibrated.
Thinking it was Eren, you grab it to check, but you see Jean’s contact name instead—J🌸: Dont worry about it. I got your priorities. Consider our thing done I don’t tolerate that shit.
You stop crying, but begin to panic again.
You: No Jean, please. I’m sorry—you send him the message right away, and he takes no time to message you back.
J🌸: I can tell you’re not serious about this so I’ll find someone else. It was nice knowing you y/n.
You jump to your feet and feel anger rise and begin to slowly push away the sadness—you: I REALLY AM SORRY, I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS—you answer right away.
You: I got caught up and I know that’s a shitty excuse but please believe that I am sorry. I really am. It won’t happen again, so please give me one more chance. Just one more chance. I really want to help you.
A few minutes pass and you impatiently wait by staying on the message page as you pace back and forth. You then drop your ass on the seat in front of your window, letting your orange cat jump onto your lap and snuggle up against you.
When the three little typing dots finally appear on the screen, your heart skips a beat and your stomach twists. You abruptly stand from your seat, causing your cat to fall off—“oops I’m so sorry Mr. Darcy.” You apologize to the orange cat who just walks off to lay on your bed.
Finally Jean’s message arrives and your heart skips again—J🌸: One more but if it happens again I’m dropping you for good.
You grin and squeal, forgetting to take your time and answering him right away—good thing he can’t see me.
You: Thank you!
J🌸: I’m busy after school today, and the rest week so we’ll work on my schedule from now on.
You: That's good! Thank you!
J🌸: Monday same time.
You mindlessly turn around and walk towards your window as you answer him—You: That’s fine. And I’m sorry again. Have a good day. Xoxo.
You shut your phone off and throw it on the seat to fist pump the air out of pure relief and happiness, in that moment hitting your knuckles on the wood and ending that joy with pain and more frustration. “Oh motherfucking shitting wall. Bitch.”
——
*JEAN’s P.O.V*
You: That’s fine. And I’m sorry again. Have a good day. Xoxo.
“Xoxo? What the hell?” Jean mumbles to himself before he begins to think of what to respond with. Not because he found it hard to think of something to tell you, but he didn’t want to look eager or like what you did was okay. Yet he was curious about your whereabouts and the reason you left him stranded and looking stupid in that booth. It had to be good. For your sake.
But again he didn’t want to seem like he was eager, so instead he just swiped away from the message app and sat on his stool as he began to procrastinate. Finding himself on your Instagram page and seeing you had just posted a picture of the glowing theatre sign, in attempts to be aesthetic.
Is that where you were?! Is that why you left him stranded? You’ve got to be kidding.
Jean stands up and runs his hands through his hair while he swipes back to the message page to complain about your reasons, but as he was going to type a lengthy rant, he stopped himself. If he sent you something complaining about the picture you’d know he was stalking you, so that wasn’t smart. So he left the page and returned to instagram, making sure he was careful not to like the picture and just scroll through his feed until he got bored and turned off his phone to look back at his painting he’s been working on for his upcoming exhibit.
He wasn’t close to done, this painting has taken longer than he expected simply because he’s lacked motivation and imagination. He only chose to paint a certain scenery at school because he found it peaceful and easy. Now though, even if he liked the red he accidently mixed on the canvas, Jean can’t seem to truly be content with his painting.
Painting nature was something simple and serene that most people found beauty in, but how can he be the best with something so simple.
That’s why he stood back and stared at his painting for a long time to try and think of something to do about it. He stared and stared hoping something would come to mind, but nothing hit him but anger out of his own failure.
That anger was quick to rise and it almost made him impulsively tear that canvas. However, right as he was going to stab the paper, a memory hit him that created an idea.
He set the painting back on the easel and backed away with his hands in his hair and his eyes on the painting with a cocky smirk on his face. Now all he felt was motivation and eagerness to work, and those feelings were so overwhelming that he didn’t think twice about the fact that you had brought him that motivation. He was so quick to rework his painting to fit the image in his mind, that the realization that he was creating your eyes out of the nature he had already painted, hit him when he was mixing colors to match your eye color that he remembered vividly. As if he was looking right at it even if all he was basing his reference off of was his memory of you.
He stopped then and turned all red. The idea to stop and just trash the painting was insistent, but what Marco told him once before was more persistent.
“Your motivation is what will keep you going. I say go with it, and who knows maybe something big will be born out of it.”
*YOU. LATER THAT DAY*
Eric: I’m sorry I left so early. I’ll talk with you later.
It’s seven pm now. You left his house at eight in the morning….
“…Y/N…”
At least he remembered to message you.
“Hey….”
Tsk.
“Y/N!”
Something small suddenly hits your head that pulls you out of your thoughts, making you rub your head and complain whilst looking up where it came from. “Ow.”
“It didn’t hurt,” Porco remarks from the top of the ladder. “Pass me that tack.”
You drop your hand and grab a tack from the plastic canister to hand him one before complaining some more. “Why didn’t you just say my name instead of making a mess.” You look up at him pinning on the Frankenstein mask on the styrofoam head, and catch his side eye.
“I did. Three times. You didn’t listen. Move.”
You step back and grab another mask from the box to have it ready for him.
“Besides, it's not that big of a mess,” he continues to argue.
You groan and lean back on the counter since it was pretty slow at the teashop tonight. “Easy for you to say, you’re not on cleaning duty today.”
Porco rolls his eyes and grabs the last mask off the box even if you had one waiting in your hand.
“Well that’s your own fault for pissing off Levi.” He points out, making your eyebrows scrunch, but not causing you to argue against him.
Rather you pass him a tack after he moves the ladders and climbs them to pin the last mask on the last styrofoam head hanging on the wall. You’re about to comment on the mask in your hand, but you get an idea in mind and walk over to hide behind the bar to put on the mask and call him hiding your caller ID.
Porco picks up quickly out of curiosity to the ‘unknown number’ labeled on the screen, and you stifle your laughter to mock Ghostface’s voice since that’s the mask you’re wearing. “What’s your favorite scary movie?”
There’s silence from Porco so you continue. “You know it’s hazardous picking up the phone—”
He sighs through the phone and hangs up. You chuckle and walk over to him as he’s climbing down.
“Get it?” You ask him whilst you lift your mask over your face to show off your smug grin. “It’s what he says in—”
“Hilarious,” he grumbles with his usual, nonchalant straight face that only makes you laugh more.
“We should watch the movies,” you mention while you turn to close the tack canister. “Maybe you can come over with Marcel and we can have a marathon?”
Porco folds the ladder and carries it back where it belonged.
“Yeah. Sounds cool.” He says once he returns, glancing out the window at the front of the shop and pointing to Eren passing the front doors. “Ten dollars says you’ll scare him.”
You smirk, and lower your mask to run out the side door in the kitchen to beat Eren to your building's main hall. You then rush to hide in front of the garage door since it was dimly lit and wait for him to walk in.
Once you hear the front door open you jump out without saying anything and scare Eren so much that he screams and yells out a bunch of swears before he throws his phone at you. “FUCKING. BITCH. WHAT THE HELL!”
You catch his phone and catch him running to the stairs out of fear, leaving behind Mikasa at the front door.
“So much for being a hero,” you tease him before breaking into an evil laugh as you lift your mask off your face.
“Nice,” Mikasa compliments you, completely unaffected by your jump scare.
She was even smiling.
Eren steps down the stairs and walks to you to snatch his phone from your hands and look at you with a fuming and annoyed glare. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” He retorts as he tries to hide how hard he’s breathing.
“I am,” you answer happily. “We decided to put up Halloween decorations early, and well I wanted to have some fun with you.”
Eren huffs and rolls his eyes before walking back to the stairs and throwing you a comment over his shoulder. “You’re annoying.”
Mikasa walks past you and looks back to offer you one last smile.
“I’ll see ya later,” you snap back at him. “Bye Mikasa.” You return to the shop and throw the mask under the register to then high five Porco as he walks by to prepare a tea for a customer. He didn’t need you to tell him that his plan worked, he could read it off your face, and well he heard Eren scream.
The excitement died down after that though. Since it was a slow day there wasn’t much to do but pretend to be busy when a customer would walk in. Overall all you did was wait, make small conversation and watch the clock to wait for closing time.
“Are you going to Reiner’s game tomorrow?” You ask Porco while you wipe the counter.
“Nah,” he says. “I don’t want to. You?”
You shrug. “I’m thinking about it. There’s a party after so I’m thinking of going.”
“Ask Marcel to go with you,” Porco comments as he throws some trash away.
You quickly look over at him to bring up a question that’s been in your mind since Tuesday. “By the way, what did your brother do on Tuesday? I mean it’s rare for him to cancel plans.”
Porco doesn’t face you and walks to the bar without answering. He stays quiet when he returns to the register and makes sure not to face you when he answers. “Who knows.”
You narrow your eyes on him and begin to pick on his strange behavior, but he swiftly changes the subject. “Shops closed, we should clean up and close as soon as we can.”
You hesitate to answer and stay glued to your spot for a few minutes, yet you don’t end up pressing him, you just do as he says and leave that weird tension he seemed to have alone.
——
“And I’m saying come with me.” You press Eren from the kitchen. “You don’t work today, and I’m sure Mikasa would come if you asked!” You drop the pancake on the plate and turn off the stove. “The party will be fun and we won’t have to stay long.”
Eren groans as he walks to the cabinet beside you to grab a plate. “No,” he says bluntly. “Why don’t you ask Marcel? Or Porco?”
You put a pancake on your plate and grab the stack to walk over to the table to sit across Eren’s seat. “I asked Marcel, he’s busy. Again.” You sigh. “Porco doesn’t want to go. Please.” You turn and watch him sit in his seat and set a cup of orange juice beside his plate.
Eren grabs three pancakes and throws them on his plate to then drizzle on syrup before looking up at you and cutting his food all in the meanwhile. “Why would I go to some lame party? Rather stay home. Get high and drunk here with my girl.”
You cut your pancake and begin chewing the piece with anger. “Fine,” you grumble after you swallow the food. “I’ll just go with my other friends.”
Eren scoffs and smirks before pointing at you with his fork. “Which friends?”
You shrug and look down at your food to eat quietly.
“I mean beside me?” He keeps asking. “Or the Galliard brothers?”
You begin to play with your food and think of an answer, but not a single name comes to mind. No matter how hard you think, you didn’t have a genuine friend to mention. How sad was that.
“Historia,” you mumble and shove food in your mouth.
Eren laughs and harshly cuts the food on his plate before answering. “Sure. You know—”
“I know what you’re going to say,” you cut him off. “So why don’t you just choke on your food.”
She’s not really a friend. She’s only an attention seeker. She’s just using you for attention. Blah, blah.
Eren huffs and instead hides his smile behind his hand so as to not further piss you off. You on the other hand just pick up your phone and think of inviting Jean just because he’s the only person you thought of that wasn’t like Historia in Eren’s eyes, but he most likely wouldn’t even answer back after what you did, so that’s a no. Instead you click on Porco’s contact to message him, hoping he’d answer.
You: No to the football game but how about just the party?
You wait for him to answer and eat your food without talking to Eren. You blatantly ignore him and serve yourself another pancake, smiling sweetly at Furlan who joined you for breakfast.
Furlan notices the tension but he knows not to question it, he just eats his breakfast in silence until you direct him a question. “How’s work been?”
“Can't complain, it’s been okay,” he answers. “How’s school?”
You shrug. “I’m passing by.”
Furlan looks over at Eren and asks him the same question, but you tune out his answer as Porco answers back—Porco: Fine. Let me know when to pick you up.
*LATER*
“You know I’m owed something for coming to Braun’s party.” Porco tells you as he gets out of the car.
You open the car door and while you’re getting out, you can’t help but admire the nice house by the beach he lives in. It wasn’t big, but it was newly built and designed in a modern way with huge windows and white exteriors.
“Did he even win his game?”
“Yeah,” you say whilst you shut the car door and run to join Porco’s side on the grass. “Imagine if he didn’t and he had people over?” You grin and he smirks at the thought whilst you both walk to the front door.
“Some lame pity party is what would happen I imagine. Who makes a party before knowing you’ll win?”
You giggle. “He does.”
Porco grins and pushes your arm. “I bet you’re the first person he invited. What did he say?”
“Oh, yeah,” you laugh and pull out your phone to show him the screenshot. “Look.”
Porco leans towards you and can't help but let out a teasing chuckle at Reiner’s invitation. “I’d be happy if you came, y/n. You’d make the night better. Winky face.” He laughs harder and throws his head back as you open the front door, letting the music playing inside escape out the door and instantly overwhelm your hearing. Yet all you could do was laugh with Porco as you both walked inside Reiner’s house.
Albeit just as you’re making your way inside, Reiner comes to greet you both with a wide grin. “Y/N. Porco, you guys came!”
Porco clears his throat and nods all seriously, but you see the corner of his lips twitching as he tries not to laugh. You have to bite your cheek since seeing Reiner, and then seeing Porco wanting to laugh made you want to burst out laughing.
“Yeah,” you tell Reiner with a wobbly smile. “Couldn’t miss it. Congratulations by the way, on the win. I’m sorry I couldn’t go.”
“I saved our team last minute with a touchdown,” he shows off with pride. “You should’ve seen me. I was fast.” He smirks at you and Porco has to look away so as to not laugh in his face.
“I’ll catch a reel from someone.” You assure him with a smile that spreads to a grin. “We should go get some drinks now while you…greet your guests.”
“Right!” Reiner shouts. “Right! Again,” he says without looking away from you. “I’m glad you came. I’ll talk to you later.” He begins to walk past you, but stops and turns on his heels to say one last thing. “There’s some drinks that I bought especially for you. Lemonade. Soda. Water. Those little juices that come in pouches? Again, I’m glad you came.”
You grin at him and right when you’re going to answer, Porco says a witty comment. “I mean how can someone so special miss…this? Right? It’d ruin the night. Don’t you think?”
Cluelessly Reiner agrees with Porco in an attempt to flirt with you. “It’d ruin my night.” Without anything else to add, Reiner walks off and leaves you and Porco looking at each other all serious and quiet before you both break into a hearty laugh.
However, as Porco and you made your way to grab drinks in the kitchen laughing your asses off, you missed Jean walking to the living room.
He noticed you the moment you walked in though. You were hard to miss after all. In that tight black dress that you mostly covered with a red sweater that had fur around the low neckline and the end of the sleeves. Now he couldn’t say he was waiting for you, he didn’t know if you’d actually come, but he had looked at the door the exact moment you walked in with that guy. Now he seemed to feel curious over you being here.
He wanted to go to you and demand an answer for your whereabouts yesterday, but he didn’t want to look ridiculous in front of the guy you’re with. So he just let you be and walked to the living room with his friends instead.
“Oh,” you suck in air, “that's strong, smell it.” You push the cup of some red drink to Porco’s nose and he pulls back in disgust to the strong smell. “What is this?”
“Poison. Don’t drink it.” He remarks and instead grabs himself a beer and hands you a red cup with lemonade. “Let’s go out back where this music isn’t hurting my damn ears.”
Going to the backyard was a tactic to get away from the music and crowd gathering around the drinks, but it was a mistake in the way that your friends were out there. Of course you knew you’d see them, but the moment they saw you, they began to flock around you with some giddy and loud greetings. Historia failed to greet you like the rest, but she didn’t fail to hug you and smile at you. Ymir on the other hand, hung back and just waved lazily at you.
“Where’s your twin brother Porco?” Ymir begins to tease Porco.
Said man scoffs at her reference to Marcel and answers with disdain. “Not here.” He takes a drink from his cup and makes sure to look away from her to throw her a remark. “He’s not my twin. I won’t remind you again.”
You smirk at his response but hide your reaction by looking away and drinking your lemonade.
In that exact moment you did is when you caught Jean Kirstein walking out of the house. He didn’t look over to where you were standing with your group of friends, he seemed busy drinking and talking to two people you’ve seen at school; the brunette girl was even in one of your classes, Sasha you think her name is.
Now you should’ve looked away the moment you caught him, but you let your eyes linger on him, on his black leather jacket he layered over a burgundy turtle neck shirt sweater, you focused on his hair styled back, on his smile—Damn he has a nice smile….
Your heart began to race, but you ignored that feeling and just watched him walk to the bonfire by the beach until Historia began talking to you.
The conversation wasn’t that interesting though, but you still paid attention. The party also wasn’t as entertaining, the music did play loudly from inside the house, the backyard was decorated nicely with hanging lights and torches, Reiner had some good food, but the crowd was pretty bored. No one danced, they just talked amongst themselves inside the house and the backyard. It was until the Dj arrived that the crowd seemed to wake up, but you can’t say they were that hyped over the music so soon, at least not until everyone was drunk or high enough to let loose.
You wished to be part of the crowd dancing along to the music, but Porco said he couldn’t look ridiculous amongst the crowd, no matter how many people were dancing, so you had to watch them have their fun instead. But that got boring too.
“I’m going to get a refill of my drink,” you tell Porco but don’t wait for him to answer and walk off to the kitchen to get more limonade. After you close the back door, the music that played outside didn’t penetrate inside the house whatsoever, it let the music playing inside sound freely and without getting mixed up.
And honestly the music playing inside was better. Once you refilled your cup that same music tempted you towards the living room where it played and where more people danced along to it. Unbeknownst to you whilst you walked towards the archway that led to the living room, Jean passed by behind you; the moment he caught you walking away he changed directions and quietly began following behind you like a lurking shadow.
He wanted to talk to you now that you weren’t being followed, but the moment you stopped to watch those dancing, he caught the man you came with heading towards you. Instead Jean passed beside you, catching your attention and making you stand up straight to watch him walk away instead. Now you were the one that wanted to follow him to apologize, but Porco found you inside before you could.
“You were gone too long, I couldn’t stand them alone.” He complained, causing your eyes to shift away from Jean's retreating figure and focus on Porco standing beside you.
“It happens,” you say with a teasing smile before turning your body completely to face him with a grin. “Let’s dance.”
Porco shakes his head and looks away from you. “Nope. I’m not Marcel. Go find someone else.”
You set your cup down on a nearby counter and rush to grab Porco’s arm to keep insisting for at least one song. “Come on! Just one song and then we can, I don't know, leave or go play that cup game they’re playing in the other living room!”
Porco’s stubborn though. “No.”
You sigh, but smirk rather quickly when you think of a way to get him to comply. “Just one dance. Or what, do you not know how?”
Porco’s eyes slide to look at you and he huffs. “I do.”
“It doesn't seem like you do since you’re here standing all stiffly. You know if it’s skill you lack I can teach you, or Marcel can. But I did always think that twins all know the same thing since you know they’re like connected.”
“Shut up.” He hissed. “Marcel sucks at dancing. And we’re not twins!” He sets his beer down and without saying anything he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the living room where the others danced along to the music.
He stops near the edge of the crowd so he wouldn’t be squished, he grabs both of your hands to start leading you to the beat of the music that's playing. He kept looking down at his feet the entire time to make sure he wouldn’t step on you though. And that gesture made you giggle.
On contrary to his statement he didn’t know how to dance along to the music, but you didn’t care, you were going with the moment, you were happy he danced with you after saying he wouldn't because you knew he’d stick to his word if he really, truly wanted to. Yet he got out of his way to dance with you.
However, when the song changed to a more upbeat one that made you dance apart, he stopped and mouthed “let’s go,” since he really didn’t know. But you grabbed his hand as he was walking away and pulled him back.
Porco stayed standing stiffly and just watched as you let go of his hands and began showing him a move. At first he wasn’t going to try, but he groans and copies you.
Seeing him trying made you beam at him, and upon seeing that you began to dance a little faster and step forward expecting him to move back, Porco stumbled towards you instead.
Porco instantly felt apologetic and embarrassed but you laughed it off. He then wanted to walk away, but you grabbed his arm to hook yours with him and swiftly turn him around. He seemed hesitant and lost, but you did it again and rather than walking off he did the same move a bit faster and more repeatedly, completely making you laugh and forget the others around you and every other problem that loomed in your head.
Porco seemed to notice the tension off your shoulders and pulled away to continue dancing with you a bit more freely and a bit more “ridiculously”; you both spun together and apart. He began to let go of that bashfulness he held onto and began to enjoy himself with you. After some time you both began to do your own thing as you laughed together and just had fun dancing; he grabbed your hands and pulled you towards him to dance that way, he pulled away and you just enjoyed each other’s company.
Ultimately you both did stop though, but you had your fun so you didn’t mind anymore.
“We can leave now,” you tell him in between pants. “If you want.”
Porco chugs water and sets the empty bottle down to lock his eyes with yours and show you his disapproval before he speaks it. “No. We’re doing the cup game before. I danced with you, you’re doing that with me.”
“I don't drink,” you remind him.
He scoffs and shrugs in a cocky manner. “We’ll do the shot at the end. Whoever loses takes a shot, you can fill your cups with cranberry juice or something sour, I don’t care. We’re playing.”
“Only if I can take a shot of something that’s not alcohol,” you keep insisting. “Or else I won’t play.”
Porco nods. “I know that. We’ll play by your rules.”
You smile and without anything else to discuss you both walk over to the other living room where the game was being played, and see Historia and the host were done losing. He noticed the two of you and made sure to loudly point you out. “Porco, y/n! Wanna play!”
“Yes!” You exclaim for Porco. “But—”
“No buts y/n, rules are rules,” Historia cut you off with a sly smile on her lips that made you smile slowly. “Four shots if the losing team doesn’t flip the cups in time.”
She knew of your no drinking rule, and played as if she didn’t know all too deviously. Which is why she suggested that version of the game instead.
“Fine,” you say confidently even if you didn’t like the ideas and wanted to back out, but couldn’t since she’d start shit.
Historia’s smile widens, but you know it’s fake and out of discontent she didn’t want to show. That’s why she bats her eyelashes and sighs as she walks around Reiner to be closer to you.
“Porco,” you say and begin walking to the other side of the table to be across from her. “Let’s win.”
“No,” Historia protests, “he'll be with me. You can team up with…” she pauses and glances around the people gathered around and lands her eyes on someone behind you. “You. You wanted to play right?” She asks as she props her hands on the table and leans towards the person walking to your side. “Let’s play.” Her eyes shift to you and she smirks a mischievous smirk. “You’ll be a team player right, y/n?”
You sigh and hold her gaze to nod with a smirk of your own. “Let’s play.”
Historia leans back and looks to Ymir so she can place new cups and fill them with sour non-alcoholic drinks, and fill the shot glasses with some cheap tequila. You were too busy passing looks with Porco that you didn’t notice who your partner was until Porco was moved away.
And it’s when you turn your head away from Historia that you notice that she had picked Jean Kirstein to be your partner. Now you got all nervous all too quickly.
You didn’t show it though, you smiled at him and broke your silence. “Hey, Kirstein.”
“Y/N,” he says bluntly.
You smirk and fold your arms over your chest. “We’re not losing, you know that right.”
Jean holds your gaze with this serious look that makes you feel a bit flustered—“No,” he agrees. “We’re not.”
Neither of you look away and you ease your feelings with a smug smile. After that Historia breaks the interaction to begin playing.
Jean started for your team, and Porco started for his. At first Jean was having trouble flipping the cups over on the edge of the table after he would chug his drink. As soon as he got to the last cup, Porco had already finished his drink; he was only trying to flip the cup over to let Historia start her part as the cups got instantly refilled for the next player to go.
“Come on Jean. Come on,” you whisper as you hover too close beside him; to the point your chest was inches from his arm. “HURRY AND DRINK IT!” You shout out of crippling anxiety.
Jean whips his head towards you and points to his filled cheeks and mumbles something with his mouth all full, before setting the cup down to try and flip it over. You press your chest against his arm to watch him struggle, the stress over the game making your nails puncture small crescent shaped cuts in your palms.
However, Jean managed to flip his cup over first by just two seconds. But it was enough for you to run to the other end of the table to start your turn.
Now is when the atmosphere changed to a more eager and excited energy amongst the crowd around the table since Historia and you were facing off now. It made your palms begin to sweat since you felt pressured, and the feeling of Jean watching you, and the sound of him encouraging you to drink your first cup faster made your heart pound since you didn’t want to make him lose because you sucked.
“Come on! Come on!” He yelled before speaking quieter, “you can do it!”
You flip the first cup over successfully and rush to chug the second one. The drink burns your throat, but you surpass it and chug as Historia catches up—and it continues to be a close game even to the last cup.
Now the crowd got louder and you only got more nervous. You chugged the last drink and stole glances at Historia as you both drank the drink until the last drop. She however finished first and set her cup down before you could. She began to try and flip her cup over and you finished the drink on her second failed attempt.
Jean’s breath kept brushing the back of your neck as he watched you quietly and nervously from behind. It made goosebumps grow on your arms, and made it harder for you to try and flip your cup over since he stood so close.
It was hard concentrating mostly because you wanted to well….turn to tell him to step back so his cologne didn’t keep wafting up your nose and completely hypnotize you.
“You can do it. You can do it,” he whispered louder.
“Jean!” You remarked, earning a quiet sorry.
You fix your cup after your third failed attempt, and hold your breath to flip it over. This time the cup landed correctly before Historia could do it.
You didn’t register your win until Reiner announced it. “Y/N, and Jean won!”
A grin slowly spreads on your lips and without thinking you jump up and down happily before squealing and turning to embrace Jean.
He doesn’t think of what was going on so he hugs you back and you both jump together to celebrate your win.
“We won! We won!” You continue with excitement.
As if an instinct, or as if you’ve done it hundreds of times you pull away to face one another, and begin circling one another to share a moment of compliments.
“It’s all because of you!” You say with a grin. “You won us this!”
“No,” Jean rebuttals with a smile and points to you. “It was all you y/n. You did good. You were the one that didn’t hold in your drinks like me.”
You laugh and shrug. “What can I say?”
Jean scoffs lightheartedly and then smirks. “Team effort,”
“We work great together,” you finish for him.
Just as Jean is going to say something else, Historia clears her throat and stops your circling so Jean and you could face her and Porco. “Rematch?”
“No,” Porco protests without letting you speak. “I can’t drink anymore. Two was enough.”
“Aww come on,” Historia says in a sweet voice. “We’ll switch partners and I’ll work with Jean.” She makes sure to look at you when she says his name.
“No,” you breathe out with a fake smile. “It’s okay. We should go anyway.” You look at Jean and offer him a genuine smile. “Good game Kirstein.”
Historia doesn't fight that and lets you both go with a goodnight.
Once you’re far from the crowd you pat Porco’s shoulder and ask about his current state. “How are you feeling? Want to wait in your car for the alcohol to pass?”
Porco smirks and shakes his head. “Nah, Reiner made sure not to pour any alcohol in my shots. Historia might be stumbling though.”
There’s silence for a moment before you both laugh at the thought as you walk towards his car.
The rest of the car ride was just as lighthearted. None of the problems that filled your head made themselves known for the entire car ride. It was nice. Not worrying over what you held onto, and over Eric.
If only for the night. It made you happy, especially since you had someone else so present in your mind.
*TWO DAYS LATER*
Usually, on the weekends the time you had was for working all day in the teashop, and what was left of the rest of the day was for yourself to catch up on homework.
Eric didn’t like the idea of you working all day on the weekends, but you liked working from opening and to close to keep yourself busy and keep him at a distance. He usually didn't like coming in because of Levi. On the rare occasions Eric did come to visit you he avoided Levi at all costs and made his visit short.
Today, thankfully, he didn’t pay you a visit, he sent you text throughout the day miraculously, but he chose to see you on Monday instead. He did take forever to respond so it was hard to talk when you could sneak your phone out, or catch a break.
However, whilst on your last minutes of your ten minute break, instead of getting a late answer from Eric, you received a message from Jean.—J🌸: hey
You smile and crouch further down to a horrible posture to answer back—you: what?
Jean doesn’t take long, but it also seems he doesn’t want to answer right away. Even if you could see he read it immediately.
J🌸: For tomorrow do you wanna go somewhere else?
You: If that’s what you want. I don’t mind.
You grab an apple slice and begin to munch on it as he answers back—J🌸: Fine we’ll go somewhere else. Where do you want to go?
You lower your phone and think hard of a place, but nothing comes to mind except for a one lame one.
You: we can go to my parents place, they’re gone for the month so the house is alone. If you want, of course.
Jean answers right away with for reassurance—J🌸: are you sure that’s okay. I don’t want to get you in any trouble with your folks.
You: they won’t mind. They encourage me to visit home anyway, so.
You: But could I ask if you can give me a ride there?
J🌸: No problem
You grin at your phone whilst you take a peek at your watch around your wrist, and stand up when you notice you have to go back—you: Thank you :)
You wait a few seconds for him to reply, but he ends up taking too long and you have to go back so you shut your phone off to shove the phone in your aprons pocket. Albeit, right when you were going to throw it in, suddenly you’re snapped back to that weird place you were at the beginning of the week.
It’s the same sand hills that laid out for miles upon miles. As you looked up out of panic, the same twinkling stars shone over your head, and when you looked behind the same white tree stood in the center of the beautiful yet scary abyss. And also like last time, you were alone.
This time instead of walking towards the tree that had wanted to suck you in last time though, you stayed put in your spot and just panicked from where you stood frozen.
Now, it was easier to note the fact that you couldn’t feel cold, or hot, the temperature was oddly just alright. As silent as it was, it wasn’t a deafening silence that let you hear everything inside your body, or the watch around your wrist. The silence was peaceful, comforting.
The only reason you were fearful was because you didn’t know why you kept being put here when it seemed no one else went through the same thing. It was just you alone in this strange place.
It could be a very relaxing place if it wasn't for the fear that you were going crazy, and….for the fact that the streaks in the night sky began to glow brightly. The lighting seemed to ripple too and it moved forward towards the tree, making the white hue glow brighter.
The sight was captivating until you began to hear whispers. They were quiet, not distinguishable, but they seemed to come from the tree.
Alas you began to step towards it as if entranced by the voices you heard, but suddenly you were thrown back to reality. Despite that though, when you caught the time in your watch, the hands were pointing to the same time as before. No time passed. The second hand just continued to tick this time.
How fucking weird.
“Y/N,” Levi calls from the front of the break room, breaking you from your trance. “Ten minutes are up….and Uri called me.”
You put your phone away and turn to face him without giving away the fear of what just happened. You just huffed at his comment and responded with a grumble as you walked towards him. “Did he now? He didn’t bother to call me.”
“You wouldn't answer, that’s why he called me.” Levi grumbles back and follows behind you. “So please stop letting me be your messenger and talk to your father.”
You roll your eyes and sigh, “fine I’ll answer his texts. Sorry about that.”
Before you could return to the counter, Levi stops you to add something not on topic. “I was hoping we could talk too. I don’t work tomorrow. How about we grab something to eat and talk after you’re done tutoring that guy? If that’s something you’re still doing.”
Your eyes flicker to the ground and you begin fiddling with your fingers. You answer with honesty even if you sounded like you dreaded this conversation. “I still do, he gave me a last chance…but I’m going to hang out with Eric…” you cut yourself off there and keep your back facing him, hearing his feet shift and knowing that he was upset over the news.
“It’s okay,” he assures you softly, hiding the sadness in his voice so you couldn’t hear it, but you did and it made you regret bringing up Eric—“we can try some other time. Right?”
You look at him over your shoulder and offer him a sweet smile that’s accompanied with an agreeing nod, and words. “Of course.” You can’t look at him any longer without feeling your heart crack so you turn and return to work.
Unlike Uri and Kenny, Levi held a special place in your heart. When they weren’t with you, he was, every single time, and you’ve been shit to him.
Unlike your fathers, you never wanted to lose your relationship with Levi, you fought so hard to keep him from hating you, even if he was disappointed in you, even if you fought, even if you’ve tried to please Eric by turning your back on Levi, you haven’t once attempted to lose your relationship with him. No matter how rocky your relationship was with Levi. So it hurt having to choose Eric over him, you hated that Eric put you in this position, you hated him.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him either.
Not even if it feels like you’re losing Levi because of Eric. Losing him to the point of no return.
And if you lost Levi….
——
‘1 New Message from J🌸. Delivered 7 hours ago.’
“…No, I haven't gone home. But I’m going to go there to tutor a friend, is that okay?” You ask Uri over the phone as you throw yourself on the bed after you finish showering and taking an hour to relax.
“You’re tutoring someone?” He asks almost in excitement. “That’s nice. You didn’t say.”
You scoff, “well yeah. You announced you were going on a month-long business trip that same day I got assigned. I got distracted by your lack of acknowledgement, dad.”
“No need to be so hostile over your daddy, y/n!” You hear Kenny tell you in the background, causing you to scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out in disgust over his choice of word. “We were gonna tell you. We got distracted and you got all cold-shouldered like usual.”
“I am sorry about that, little girl,” Uri continues to add on to Kenny’s statement. “We should’ve mentioned it before. But don’t worry it is a business trip. We will be back on the first.”
Your brown cat lies on your chest and you have to push her to your stomach so you could breathe properly, and make sure to reply with resentment. “That’s what you said last time….and you left for five years,” you whisper and pull your phone away from your ear to put him on speaker and answer back to Jean.
“I am sorry,” Uri repeats himself.
J🌸: so what are you up to today?
You smile and reply to him whilst also talking to your father—You: I was working sorry.
“So how is it going?”
Uri sighs and answers right away. It makes you imagine his smile over your simple question. “Boring. But your father is helping cure that boredom with his spontaneous attitude.”
You snicker and smile faintly at the phone. “I bet he is. Just please don’t let him bring home some child. I’m fine being an only child.”
“You’re enough of a headache,” Kenny remarks with a teasing chuckle. “Can’t handle anymore.”
You roll your eyes and Uri laughs, whilst your phone buzzes as Jean’s message comes in—J🌸: oh sorry I didn’t know.
You: but that’s what I’ve been up to. Working.
Jean answers right away—J🌸: Can’t imagine you in a apron and a tray in hand. Truly a sight to see
You laugh and Uri and Kenny think it’s because of them.
“Maybe next time you can tag along!” Kenny shouts, causing Uri to snap back with only his name and a whisper you didn’t catch.
“Kenny….”
Not like you minded, you were busy responding to Jean—You: Well you’ll have to come on Thursday so you can see for yourself ;) I look good in my apron.
“Well sweetheart, we have to leave you. Goodbye, we’ll talk soon.” Uri says and you mindlessly answer back.
“‘Kay bye, I love you.” You hang up the phone and read Jean's message without thinking of what you said.
J🌸: Only if it’s on the house and you serve me :)
You scoff but smile.
You: come and we’ll see.
J🌸: I will. You have my word, I want to see you
J🌸: see you working
J🌸: I mean see you work because you're rich you know
Uhh no.
Before you can reply he calls you instead.
“I mean I want to see if it’s true that you work and you just don’t sit there and look pretty all day.”
Pretty? Hmm. I’ll take it.
“Oh.” You smirk and sit up. “I see. So you want to see me look pretty all day?”
There’s silence for a second before he scoffs and just plays it off cool. “You know what I meant.
“Yeah,” you laugh. “I did. So what have you—” you cut yourself off when suddnely you hear Eren’s door slam shut. It makes some things in your room rattle and shake after impact, and it gets you a bit startled but you weren’t brave enough to be curious over his anger.
You’ve learned just to let him steam off when that happens, so you continue to talk to Jean. “….sorry about that, something scared me. Anyway! What have you been up to?”
“I didn’t work today so just working on school work and trying to learn off your notes.” He mentions. “Overall besides that I’ve been just relaxing when I can. How was work?”
Your heart races, and butterflies flutter in your stomach at that question. The simplicity of the question however also leaves you so baffled that you take a moment to answer back. “Uh, it was work. I don’t really mind working, besides my friend works with me today, so it was fun. That’s not including the gross old men that like to ogle and flirt with me.”
Jean huffs and understands your anger. “Spit in their drinks. That’s what they get for being creepy.”
You chuckle and shake your head. “I’m sure it’s something they’d like so maybe cat fur is a nice add on. Or something gross, so they can stop coming.”
“Snot. Cat fur will only get free meals.”
There's silence before you completely let out your laugh over his comment. “…yeah…” you say between laughs. “That’d be gross enough. And easy enough to hide. I’ll try it, thanks for the idea.”
Jean softly laughs with you and when you’re both quiet he doesn’t hesitate to continue speaking. Only, it’s to end a nice call. “Well y/n, I’ll let you relax. I’m sure you want that. I have to finish some homework and I can’t concentrate when I’m talking with you. We’ll talk tomorrow okay?”
You sigh and nod as if he can see it. “Yeah. Good night Jean.”
“Goodnight y/n.”
——
The next day passed quickly. Before you knew it you found yourself walking to the place Jean and you agreed to meet up in the morning, alongside Eren who was walking in the same direction.
Albeit no words were passed, he was even quiet all morning. It was something everyone noted at breakfast.
“Eren,” you say, “are you okay? You’ve been quiet.” You would’ve mentioned yesterday, but that would only bother him so you leave that out and wait for an answer.
Which he doesn’t give until you’re out of the courtyard and heading towards the parking area.
“Yep.” He deadpans whilst he pulls his hair back to a low sloppy bun. “You’ll be home later?”
You blink and drift your eyes away from him to check the spot where you needed to go, seeing Jean already there. “I won’t get home until later. I’m tutoring Jean at my parents place, and then I’m going to hang out with Eric. Why?”
“Just wondering. You never say where you’ll be, what if something happens,” he argues bitterly, making you stop in your step and forcing him to come to a slow stop to turn back and continue talking. “Don’t you ever consider other people's feelings? You’re always just up in your head thinking over your abusive ass boyfriend, you never know what's happening around you.”
You instantly drop your curiosity and begin to worry over his current state, and you’re quick to get angry over what he said. “Look if you’re pissed Eren, you don’t take it out with me.” You spat and point to him as you take a step towards him. “I don't know what's up your ass, but you do not talk to me like that.” You look up at him up and down and see that he barely even tried to look presentable. He just threw on the first thing he saw and ran with it. That always meant something.
Or nothing at all. You couldn’t really tell with him like Mikasa can—maybe it’s her. Maybe they’re fighting. He always gets so upset when they’re at odds.
Still, you can’t imagine why he’d be this upset.
“So why don’t you go steam off and talk to me when you’re cool,” you continue and drop your hand whilst you step away. “Why don’t you just take the day off work and go home.”
Eren rolls his eyes and throws his hood over his head to then walk off without a word. You watch him retreat to his car for a minute until his figure gets lost in between cars. You’re hesitant to let him leave with your conversation left as it was, but you also know if he’s still angry, nothing would be solved, there would just be more anger. So instead you walk off to meet up with Jean who instantly had something to say over the conversation he witnessed.
“You okay?” He asks as his eyes seem to go to the sea of cars where Eren had walked off to.
You sigh and nod. “Yeah. It’s just…Eren being a pain in my ass.”
“You know him?” Jean continues to ask while he walks you towards his vehicle.
“Hmm,” you hum. “Very well.”
Jean peers back at you after not catching the sarcasm in your voice. “Oh.”
“Anyway,” you yawn, “you got the address I sent right?”
“Hmm.”
Without adding anything else, you get to his car and that ride was quiet too. It seemed everyone just didn’t feel like talking so much today. Right when you felt alright about the day; Eric was being responsive, none of your friends said anything to annoy you. Your parents didn’t call like they said they would, but over all things were looking out today. Eren’s attitude almost ruined it, but you ignored what he said and just kept trying to let today be an okay day.
“Damn! This is much bigger up close,” Jean muses while he slowly makes his way towards the front door behind you.
Of course you don’t have anything to comment over his impression, so you wait for him inside when you open the door, and insert the security passcode.
“I think…” Jean whispers when he finally steps inside the cold house that began to light up as you continued to walk towards the library. “I’d get lost in here….”
You scoff and smile. “Yeah. I did a few times when I was young.” To avoid having him get anymore distracted, you just avoid giving him a tour of the house and keep him in the library.
“Hey,” Jean finally talks to you instead of just thinking out loud. “So do you have a theater room in this house?”
You look over at him and catch his faint smirk playing on his lips while his eyes seem to glow from his excitement over the house—“no,” you disappoint him. “My dad Kenny says that tv rots your brain so he doesn’t have tvs in the house beside my room, and the living room for when guests come over. He does have cool arcade games though.”
Jean raises a brow over what you said but smiles nonetheless. “Cool. Cool.” He takes his leather jacket off and places it over his seat before continuing with a small smirk. “So you aren’t going to give me a tour of this place?”
You huff, but can’t keep your smile away as you take off your own coat and sit in your own seat to pull out your stuff. “Depends on how you do. If you promise you’ll do good, I just might.”
Jean flashes you a sly grin, but doesn’t respond with anything on what you said, he just sits down and copies what you do to start the tutoring session. And it seems that he really wants that tour, or he just wants to really learn what he needs because he was focused for most of the session, there were times where he began to annoy you and vice versa, but he seemed to be calm this time unlike last time. It was nice.
“You did good,” you compliment him as you shut your computer and look over to him doing the same. “You catch things quickly.”
Jean smirks and answers a bit smugly. “Yeah well, what can I say? I’m smart. I mean I got into the school didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” agree quietly and finish putting away the rest of your stuff to finally bring up something you’ve been meaning to mention. “Jean. I want to apologize for Wednesday.” You exhale slowly and avert your gaze whilst you try to hold yourself from fiddling with your hands. “Uh, I was a complete asshole for flaking on you the way I did.” You swallow thickly and completely drop your gaze even if you could feel his on you. “I didn’t want to, but…uh, things came up, my phone died and I couldn’t make it or let you know. I’m sorry.” You scoot forward in your seat and slowly drift your eyes up to look at him. “Also thank you for giving me a second chance. I do really want to help you.”
Jean scoffs and nods. You think it’s because he’s going to laugh in your face and pick up that you’re lying, but he doesn’t. “Stop saying thank you. You said it hundreds of times already. Once was enough, and uh…” now he averts his gaze, but stays with his body on the edge of his seat. “Even if I can’t say I’m okay with what you did, I do accept your apology. So you can quit apologizing, and let’s just move on, okay?”
You smile and nod with genuine relief and joy. “Thank—okay.”
Jean's eyes slowly flicker up to meet yours and his cheeks visibly turn a shade of pink. He parts his lips to say something, but his words get trapped in throat as his eyes wander to your own lips and back up again. He continues to swallow thickly and lean in and slightly tilt his head.
Right away you catch how close he is now that he leaned in; you can feel his breath unfurl over the tip of your nose, and your own heart let you know by racing inside your chest at the temptation to just lean a bit more to just…maybe close the gap and get a taste of his lips. It was overwhelming, especially with the scent of his cologne traveling up your nose.
His lips looked soft, pink, inviting….tempting…
But…
No…you..can’t! You can’t!
Catching what you’re close to doing you pull away and awkwardly stand up on your fear and just blurt the first thing that you could think of. “How about that tour, huh? You look like someone who…works out…” damn. “…we can go down to my dad's gym.” You offer him an awkward smile and don’t wait for him to say anything and just lead him out the room.
And Jean doesn’t make things anymore awkward and just pretends that you didn’t just both share that steamy moment.
“Gym?” He probes after he clears his throats. “You use it?”
What?
“I mean…fuck, nevermind.”
You slowly release that pent in air that you had trapped inside your lungs and just shrug off what he said to push open the large doors to the drawing room. “This is the drawing room.”
The lights turn on as the doors open, letting you walk him in further inside the black and gold room that had white decorations sprinkled in to make the room pop. You do hope Jean would ignore the large portrait over the fireplace, but the light over it made it hard to ignore.
However he seemed to be lost gathering his thoughts over the room itself. He didn’t even think about what he asked. “There’s no art stuff here.”
You snort without hesitation and find it adorable that it’s the first thing he thought of. “No, this room isn’t for that,” you correct him sweetly. “This is for when we have guests over, or when we want to just hang out and have some drinks or something.”
Jean doesn’t look at you, but you see his shoulders tense when he catches what he asked after you answered. His embarrassment though, is what makes him turn his body to face the fireplace and finally point at the portrait hung on the wall. “That’s you and your parents?” He points to the family portrait.
You walk over to his side and look up at the painting of Kenny, Uri and you painted on a big fancy portrait. “Yeah,” you answer hesitantly. “That’s my family.”
Jean smiles and tilts his head before stepping closer to examine the painting better.
“My dad Uri; the Blond man sitting on the couch next to me, insists on always painting a portrait of us every year.” You continued to tell him while he studied the painting. “My father Kenny; the man with the hat and the cigarette in his mouth, standing behind us thinks it’s stupid, but he still lets my dad paint him.”
“You,” Jean finally says, “don’t like the idea, I suppose?”
You sigh, “no. I used to.” You look away at the thought and walk back to begin heading out.
Jean huffs and turns his head to show you a faint smile as he points at your portrait. “It doesn’t seem like you hate it, you’re smiling.”
You look over at yourself smirking, whilst you kept your head held up high in a very smug manner—appearing just like your father Kenny, personality wise in that portrait alone, no matter how much you deny your similarities.
“What can I say?” You answer in the same manner, “I’m photogenic. I needed to look good.”
Jean scoffs with a half grin on his lips. “Okay. Whatever you say.” He quips with a chuckle before asking more questions as he follows you out. “So your dad is a painter?”
“Yeah. He’s quite good if I do have to brag.” You admit while you walk to the next room. “He’s somewhat popular, do you know any of his paintings? I mean if you do paint?”
Jean nods. “Yeah, I'm somewhat of a painter.” He stammers before speaking confidently after that. “I know a few of his paintings, I just didn’t know what he looked like or that he was your dad. But yes I do know some of his paintings. He’s really good actually. So brag if you want to, I’ll let you this time.”
You roll your eyes in a lighthearted manner and give him the rest of the tour of the places you could let him see, but don’t stay long until you reach the gym. “And finally Kenny’s gym.” You both walk in, but he gets ahead of you and stops by the ring in the middle of the room to look at it in awe.
“Damn, y/n, you’re fucking loaded. This is nice.” He muses again before looking at you over his shoulder. “You know how to box, too?”
You wander to the bench by him to pick up the gloves left on the surface, and peer over at him with a faint smirk on your lips to answer with a shrug, “barely. You?”
Jean smirks with no remorse and nods with cockiness. “I do. I box when I can. That’s how I keep fit,” he licks his lips and pats the ropes. “I’m good if I do say so myself.”
You share a breathless laugh while you put the gloves away and keep yourself from looking at him as you bring up a suggestion. “We should spar for a round or two whenever. Yeah? I mean it sounds fun.” Your smirk deepens as you close the metal cabinet. “You can teach me what you know.”
No silence looms over him, he answers right off the bat. “I’m down. I’ll go easy on you though, I wouldn't want to get sued for hurting you.”
You snicker and nod, playing off your smugness with a sweet smile. “That’s cool. Tomorrow, yeah?”
Jean sighs and doesn’t hesitate to agree as he walks to the wall close to the exit that’s filled with old pictures and newspaper clippings. “Your family is just impressive aren’t they…damn,” he whispers while he stares at rhe picture of Kenny after winning some boxing match in his young years. “No wonder….” He doesn’t finish what he’s going to say and just looks over at you by the door. “I’d actually love to meet your parents. They seem cool.”
You huff and turn on your heels to walk back to the library. “Cool, huh. Yeah.” It was too hard getting deep into your resentment so you just change the subject whilst you shoot a text to Eric. “Can you give me a ride tomorrow too? Unless you don’t have class tomorrow?”
“No, I do,” Jean assures you while he picks up his things off the floor. “I can give you a ride. We’re coming back to the same place since you agreed to have a match or two.”
“Hmph, I won’t forget.”
“You need a ride home today?” Jean asks while he catches you leaving your stuff as they were.
“Yeah,” you answer and begin walking him to the front door. “My boyfriend is going to pick me up, thank you though.”
However, after Jean left, and you waited for Eric to arrive, five hours passed and now he was dead silent. He wouldn’t pick up or write back. He left you stranded at your parents house with no way home.
You could stay, but you would feel alone in the huge house, you didn’t like staying in this deafening silence when neither of them were home.
Yet, how could you get home? Your only choice was Eren, but you were still upset and petty so you didn’t bother even texting him if he felt better. The others you considered were off the table for many reasons, so all you had left was….Jean.
But the deal with him was that it was late and you didn’t want to bother him….but..you also couldn’t stay and risk having some sort of attack in this huge house. So you swallowed your pride and reached for him.
You: hey are you busy rn?
The good thing was he didn’t take long to answer—J🌸: no what's up?
Through the tears in your eyes you type only a taste of your dilema—you: I know it’s late, and I’m sorry, but can I ask you to come pick me up at my parents house? My ride bailed.
You wait on the same page, and feel your heart sinking as he begins to type.
What if he says no?
J🌸: I’m on my way. Be there in ten.
You exhale shakily and with relief, and you’re quick to shoot him an apology and another explanation so you could give reason to your disturbance—You: Thank you and I’m sorry again! You were the only person I could think of with my dads not here and my friends and Eren working.
Regardless if he might be driving he answers quickly—j🌸: Stop. I said it’s okay, so stop apologizing.
You smile at the message and leave it on read so he’s not tempted to answer, instead you wait for him outside the house gates. And don’t wait long at all, he arrives at the time he mentioned.
The car ride however, was silent over your own accord after being flaked and getting your day ruined. After being bothered by the silence before with both Eren and Jean, now you seemed to jinx yourself and land in the same situation.
The good thing was Jean never pressed you to know more than what he got over text. He turned up the music in his car so you’d hear the song you suggested he listen….it was a sweet gesture.
That’s what broke a faint smile on your lips. Even if it lasted a few seconds until Jean turned the street corner to drive forwards towards your place, and you saw Eric’s car in front of the shop and him standing by it.
Shit.
“Stop here!” You immediately exclaim before Eric could see Jean’s car and him.
He does as you say, but makes sure to park to the side to do it and then question your abrupt command. “What the hell was that for?” He lowers the music and notices you weren’t even facing him, and you were way too rushed. “What’s going on?”
“Good…night, Jean,” you mumble and only glance at him before getting out of his car and quietly closing the door to walk over to Eric, pretending you had walked from your parents house.
Jean wanted to follow you since you worried him because it seemed like you were afraid of something, but he chose not to and just waited for you to reach your house to leave.
Ending up catching your interaction with Eric.
.
.
.
.
Tagged: @usernamehere91 @lazykunimi @tojisstr1pper @forstein @soyjuju
#cherry blossom#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan#damn-stark#fanfiction#shingeki no kyojin#chapter 3#jean kirstein fanfiction#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirstein imagine#jean kirstein x ackerman!reader#jean kirstein x you#jean kirstein college au#aot#aot fanfiction#college aot au#au aot#aot au#jean kirschtein fanfiction#Jean kirschtein#jean kirschtein x reader#Porco Galliard#college au#Eren jaeger#Mikasa Ackerman#Mikasa Ackerman x Eren Jaeger#jean kirschtein x you#Reiner Braun#historia reiss
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