#this was why i even made the tile pattern lol
joh-nny-c · a year ago
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Totally forgot I animated last night. Also for @jthmaau
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heyiwrotesomethings · a year ago
It’s Been Too Long
Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader
A/N: Alright Shinobu Community, take a fuckin’ sip babes. It’s kind of a long one. My brain was like, friends to enemies to friends to lovers? To which I replied, this is going to be simultaneously too long and too short. I love me some slow burn but also I can’t justify putting that much time into something like this lol. While writing this I learned that one becomes a Hashira by killing a demon moon OR killing at least fifty demons. I didn't know that before, but I was in too deep to fix things. Y’all are a Kinoe rank that probably should be a Hashira given how much slaying you’ve done, sorry! As far as warnings go, I think we’re good. Unless fighting and misunderstandings aren’t your thing. It’ll all be better in the end though!  Word Count: 15,088 
The estate was dark and bleak. It had rained for nearly a week straight, the patter of water against the solid structure of the tiled roof was a near constant companion to the blank static of despair that clouded everyone’s minds.
Kochou Kanae had died of lethal injuries bequeathed to her by a high ranking demon who had left her to bleed out as the sun made its appearance. Perhaps if it had risen even just a few minutes prior, she could have evaded such a cruel fate.
Shinobu had found her of course, the world is just that cruel, or perhaps kind in giving her sister that closure, to be able to see her one last time before she took her last gurgling breath.
It was appropriate, the rain. After the funeral it was a temporary reminder of the warmth that had been reaped from the estate, never to be felt again in this lifetime. Not that (Y/n), Kanao, Aoi, or the youngest residents of the estate needed a reminder. Shinobu certainly didn’t either.
“Shinobu, you didn’t come to dinner. Please try to eat something.” (Y/n) coaxed, sliding the door open. The only light came from a small lantern inside the swirling gloom of the room, highlighting Shinobu hunched over her desk with her head in her hands. “Shinobu?”
“It’s only been a week.” (Y/n) strained to hear the taut whisper of the girl who had grown to be her closest friend. The girl who had given her a second chance at life when she had nowhere else to go. It hurt to hear her sound so broken. “It feels like time is standing still and going too fast at the same time.”
(Y/n) set the light meal in front of Shinobu and leaned against the desk, the wood creaked slightly as she did so. “I know what you mean. I feel the same.”
It wasn’t the first time they’ve talked like this. To be survivors of such unthinkable atrocities, one could go crazy keeping it all locked inside. The guilt, fear, helplessness... sometimes the memories played on loop night after night, waking up to the screams in their minds making sick harmonies with their own.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Shinobu spoke tentatively after a moment of drizzling static tapping against the roof. She raised herself just enough to wrestle a paper out from under her arms and slid it to (Y/n). “Oyakata-sama has sent me a summons to meet with him and the Hashira. He intends for me to take,” Shinobu’s voice grew tighter and she could not bring herself to finish, instead a painful sounding intake of air was all that was audible.
(Y/n) took the paper, holding it close to her face as she squinted, the dull light of the lantern made the letter a bit difficult to read, but the message was clear.
“He wants you to take her place.” (Y/n) frowned, a pained gleam pricked at the corners of her eyes.
“It’s been too long, but yet, not long enough,” Shinobu’s fists tightened, “I know the world hasn’t stopped spinning, demons haven’t stopped killing, but why do they want to replace her so quickly? Why are they willing to toss her aside? I don’t...”
Shinobu finally looked up at (Y/n), angry and mournful tears tracked down her face, “I’m not my sister, I’m not Hashira material. I can’t fill the hole she left, (Y/n)!”
(Y/n) abandoned her perch on the desk to crouch beside Shinobu, enveloping her in her arms. Shinobu tightly grasped her back, watery gasps and sharp inhales fell from her lips as she tried to gain control of her breathing once more.
“Oyakata-sama knows you aren’t Kanae. You’re strong in your own right, Shinobu. He wouldn’t breach the subject if he didn’t think you could succeed by your own merits.”
“I have to keep the estate in order, the infirmary, the girls... I can’t take all this responsibility—“
“You don’t have to,” (Y/n) cut her off, the words came a bit sharper than she meant them too, “you’re not alone Shinobu. We can all have our own parts to play. You don’t have to shoulder this all by yourself.”
“Thank you.” Shinobu’s voice cracked.
They had stayed up well into the night. They hardly talked, the two young girls sat huddled together, holding each other tightly. No matter how much they’ve been hurt, time continues moving forward. Just because a boat has been shredded against a reef, that doesn’t mean the waves will grant reprieve from their assault. No, one is expected to keep swimming or to swallow the salty brine and drown. The Butterfly Estate’s allotted time for grief had passed. Now they were being given the not so subtle command that it was time to get back to work.
“I wish you could come with me.” Shinobu said the next morning as she sat on the engawa to put on her shoes. “Even if they made you wait outside I would feel a bit better.”
“You’ll be okay, we’ll be thinking about you all day and waiting for you to come back home.” (Y/n) assured, resting her hand on Shinobu’s back. She was almost afraid to touch the haori Shinobu now adorned, as if her hand would pass right through the material.
(Y/n) was surprised when she saw Shinobu wearing it instead of her usual short white haori, though she supposed there was comfort in holding this piece of her sister close. Perhaps the butterfly patterned haori could comfort Shinobu where (Y/n) and the others could not.
(Y/n) must have been staring too long because Shinobu leaned away from her hand, catching it with her own before (Y/n) could withdraw it completely. Shinobu squeezed the hand a moment, (Y/n) swore her heart froze upon seeing the ghostly smile painted over Shinobu’s lips.
“You’re right. No point in fretting over it, is there?”
“...Right,” (Y/n) blinked, “yeah. You’re going to do great.” (Y/n) managed a smile in return but she could feel the corner of her lips tremble at the effort. She wasn’t sure why, but this smile Shinobu was sporting sent chills down her spine.
“I’ll be off then,” Shinobu stood, releasing (Y/n)’s hand as she stepped away from the engawa, “Do make sure to keep everything in order while I’m away.”
“Of course!” (Y/n) winced at her own volume and Shinobu exhaled a quiet chuckle before turning away to make her way down the path. (Y/n) watched until the haunting haori could no longer be seen between the wisteria trees.
It was rather late when Shinobu returned. (Y/n) had just helped the youngest girls of the estate get ready for bed and was heading to the kitchens to prepare some tea to help her sleep. She had jumped in her skin when she saw the back of the butterfly patterned haori in the dim lantern light. Shinobu turned at the sound and sent a small, tired smile (Y/n)’s way.
“I thought I’d catch you here before you turned in for the night.” Shinobu spoke. “You almost always take a cup of tea to bed. I hope you don’t mind having some of what I’ve already prepared.”
It wasn’t the first time Shinobu caught her going to the kitchen to make tea. Though usually it was much later in the dead of night when nightmares and grief kept sleep at bay. (Y/n) wasn’t sure what kind of leaves or brewing Shinobu did, but her tea always managed to knock (Y/n) out cold into deep, dreamless bliss. Something about the way Shinobu was speaking was rubbing (Y/n) the wrong way however. There was none of the familiar attitude. The bashful bitterness that came with the sweetness of the tea. (Y/n) decided to shake it off and returned Shinobu’s tired smile. It would take time for things to seem normal again.
“You know me too well. Thank you.” (Y/n) graciously took the cup, relishing in the cup’s warmth and the relaxing scent that wafted off of the steam. “How did today go?”
“It was... fine.” Shinobu’s smile faltered and she quickly disguised it by sipping her own tea. “I’m officially a Hashira. Insect Pillar Kochou Shinobu.”
“It has a nice ring to it.” (Y/n) put in after a moment’s consideration hidden behind the guise of her clearing her throat. She didn’t know if a ‘congratulations’ would be what Shinobu would want to hear give the circumstances that led up to her new title.
“And how was holding down the fort?” Shinobu asked. It seemed she wanted to shift the topic of conversation away from herself. Not that (Y/n) could blame her.
“Everything went smoothly. Well, Aoi did get a bit aggravated with Kanao about one of her coin decisions but we worked it out. Sumi, Kiyo and Naho are picking up the recovery training lessons quickly and are doing very well. The Kakushi have been taking great care of the infirmary. All patients were still stable last I checked in.” (Y/n) reported.
“Thank you for keeping up with all of that.”
“I have to pull my weight around here somehow.” (Y/n) replied, hiding a yawn behind one hand.
“It’s getting late. You should get to bed before the tea kicks in any further.” Shinobu said, putting her own cup down.
“Aren’t you getting tired too?”
“I made myself a different brew, actually. I’ve got more work to do.” Shinobu allowed herself a little sly smile at the tiny frown (Y/n) wore as she looked into her own empty cup as if it had betrayed her somehow.
“Well, don’t forget you need to sleep too. Don’t overwork yourself.”
“Goodnight, (Y/n).” Shinobu called over her shoulder. She was already walking out of the kitchen.
“I mean it Shinobu. Promise me you’ll sleep tonight.” (Y/n) gently demanded, slipping into the hall to fall in step beside Shinobu.
“I’ll promise to try. Is that acceptable?” Shinobu asked, a bit of familiar snark came through and it made (Y/n) relax a bit and nod.
“Alright. Goodnight, Shinobu.”
At the end of the hall they broke off in different directions. Shinobu to the lab and (Y/n) to her room.
(Y/n) went through most of her morning routine before going out of her way to find the newly appointed Hashira. She hadn’t seen her since they parted last night. (Y/n) groaned inwardly, already assuming she’d find the young scientist still balancing equations and mixing beakers.
(Y/n) adjusted her butterfly hairpin before knocking her knuckles against the door, waiting for a reply.
“Shinobu?” (Y/n) had called out after another knock led to no reply. (Y/n) frowned and slid the door open of her own volition, closing it behind her once she was inside. It didn’t take long for her to find the exhausted girl hunched over an array of papers, dead asleep.
“When I told you to go to sleep last night, I had your own bed in mind, not a desk.” (Y/n) sighed quietly.
(Y/n) startled at another knock at the door.
“Who is it?” She asked, keeping her voice soft as to not disturb Shinobu.
“It’s Hayato, miss.” The muffled voice called. Ah, one of the Kakushi. “Kochou-sama has guests to attend to.”
“Set them up in the garden with tea, please. Kochou-sama will meet them just as soon as she finishes these papers.” (Y/n) said. It would not do to have news of the young master of the estate sleeping so late in the morning, and at her desk no less.
The Kakushi dismissed himself to carry out his orders and (Y/n)’ shoulders relaxed as his footprints faded down the hall. (Y/n) didn’t want to wake Shinobu, but if her presence was required, then the meeting must be important.
“Hey, Shinobu,” (Y/n) called softly, gently shaking Shinobu’s shoulders, “you have guests that need to see you.”
Shinobu managed to curl further into herself, mumbling a few curses under her breath that (Y/n) couldn’t help but giggle at.
“Maybe you’d feel better if you had actually gone to bed instead of passing out like this.”
“Who is it, what do they need?” Shinobu grumped, sitting up to stretch her abused spine.
“I’m not sure. A Kakushi came by to tell you about them. I asked him to set them up in the garden with tea.”
“Thank you for taking care of that,” Shinobu rubbed her eyes and stood, her chair scratching against the floor, “I should get going then.”
“Let me fix your hair quick at least.” (Y/n) said, already freeing Shinobu of her own butterfly clip. “Hold still.”
“It’s a little hard when you keep tugging your fingers through my hair.” Shinobu winced.
“Sorry, just a second.” (Y/n) spoke around the butterfly wing that she held between her lips as her fingers worked to gather Shinobu’s hair. Once Shinobu’s hair was neatly clipped back into place, (Y/n) circled her and smoothed out the wrinkles in Shinobu’s clothes the best she could before finally backing away with a satisfied nod.
“Are you done yet?” Shinobu asked, a faint dusting of blush powdered her cheeks.
“Yeah, you still look tired, but at least you look a little more presentable.” (Y/n) said, opening the lab door and ushering Shinobu through it.
“Presentable.” Shinobu scoffed. “Come with me to the garden?”
“I don’t know if that would be appropriate. I’m not sure who is visiting.”
“Just make yourself busy in the blooms. You live here, you can go where you please.”
“Okay, I’ll come.”
The young girls made their way outside, it was warm and sunny, a bit humid as well after all the rain the week before. The sweet smell of the flowers invited deeper breaths to swallow up the scent into every bronchiole of their lungs.
(Y/n) broke off from Shinobu with a little wave, giving a respectful acknowledgment to the people waiting with their tea before busying herself with the flora. Checking on the quality of the plants as Kanae had taught her. The memories spent with the older girl who had taught her so much made (Y/n) shiver despite the warmth of the sun beating down.
(Y/n) would on occasion, discreetly observe the progression of the meeting. The smile Shinobu wore as she spoke to the visitors unnerved her. Even just the way Shinobu was holding herself now, prim and proper, (Y/n) wondered what they could possibly be talking about.
Then the familiar cawing of a crow circling over her head broke (Y/n) from her thoughts. She released her gentle grip over the flower she had stopped to smell and craned her neck to see her crow calling out to her. A mission, her heartbeat picked up in pace. She hadn’t been on one since a few days before Kanae’s death. How out of practice could she be?
“Pardon the noise,” (Y/n) bowed. The meeting had paused in their hushed conversation to observe the bird as well. (Y/n) hardly gave Shinobu a glance as she past. Her fingers trembling slightly as she made her way back inside to retrieve her nichirin blade from her room. (Y/n)’s mind buzzed and her crow’s caws sounded muted and muffled, far away. She kept walking, willing her breaths to remain controlled. Her concentration broke as a hand reached out from behind her and tugged her back.
(Y/n) turned to meet Shinobu’s eyes. Though more subdued, the concern she saw there was genuine.
“(Y/n), I kept telling you to stop. Are you listening to me?”
“I’m sorry, I guess I was just focusing on the mission ahead.”
Shinobu breathed deeply releasing the air in a shaky exhale before gripping (Y/n)’s face in one hand, surprising her.
“No you weren’t.” Shinobu’s grip was firm, “You need to concentrate on your surroundings. I was almost yelling at you just now. I need to know you are going to be able to keep your head about you out there.”
(Y/n) tried to nod her head but Shinobu’s hand kept her head in place.
“I need to hear you say it.” Shinobu said.
“I can keep my head. I will.” (Y/n) swallowed uncomfortably.
Shinobu searched (Y/n)’s face, slowly releasing her grip from (Y/n)‘s jaw and instead grabbed at the neck of (Y/n)’s uniform pulling her so close their noses bumped.
“You better,” She spoke softly.
“I will,” (Y/n) repeated.
Shinobu untensed, her fingers released (Y/n)’s uniform and she wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug that (Y/n) quickly reciprocated.
“Your meeting,” (Y/n) recalled after a moment.
“I asked to be excused. I’m the master of the estate, I can get away with escaping for for a few minutes.”
“I wouldn’t make a habit out of it if I were you.” (Y/n) attempted to joke.
“Only when it matters.” Shinobu nodded seriously, causing (Y/n)’s heart to leap.
(Y/n)’s crow cawed impatiently and the girls parted. (Y/n) left to retrieve her blade and Shinobu watched her back as she left, her hands clenched into tight fists beneath the sleeves of her sister’s haori.
Night after night, the missions kept coming. (Y/n) had begun to wonder if she’d ever get to go home again as days became weeks. Scattered letters between waves of demon slaying were the best she could manage to make sure everyone back home knew she was alright.
Another night, a new moon. A few more nights and it would be a full month since she’d last seen everyone. She was glad she took the time to say goodbye before she left. She never imagined she’d be asked to work for so long without reprieve.
Another well timed flower breathing technique beheads another demon and (Y/n) falls against the trunk of a tree breathing hard. She is uninjured but greatly fatigued. The thought to sit and rest hardly enters her mind before her crow commands her eastward to eliminate another threat before dawn.
Breath after breath, technique after technique, night after night (Y/n) fought until everything ached and beyond. When she saw the the sun peak out over the horizon it was almost enough to bring (Y/n) to tears, but she never faltered. She had to stay strong. This was the life she chose to pursue. To save people from the same fate that befallen so many people she had cared about.
It was during an exceptionally hot day when the sun was at its highest point that (Y/n) flinched awake at the shrill squawks she had grown to loathe.
“What?” She hissed between her teeth, her fingers knotting in the grass that had served as her bed for the day.
“Return home to the Butterfly Estate! Return home to recover and rest! Await further instruction!”
(Y/n) lifted herself to rest on her elbows to stare wide-eyed at the bird sitting in the tree branch overhead. For the first time in that very long month, she allowed the tears to finally fall.
(Y/n) felt nervous coming back after so long. She opted to return from the rear entrance in an attempt to not garner too much attention. She allowed herself a tentative smile as the gardens came into view. Her fingers skimmed across the colorful blooms as she walked, freezing up only when she saw Shinobu collecting herbs in the distance. Her foot snapped a twig, alerting Shinobu to glance behind her.
“Hi, stranger.” Shinobu simpered, getting to her feet. “Oh!”
(Y/n) forgot all her previous worries and jogged up to Shinobu, picking her up with the added strength that she had built up in her month long absence and twirled her around with abandon.
“(Y/n)?” Shinobu chuckled with surprise, bracing her arms around (Y/n)‘s shoulders as she was flung around.
“I missed you!” (Y/n) sniffled, finally putting the girl down but still holding her tightly.
“I missed you too.” Shinobu said, rubbing (Y/n)’s back. “What took so long getting back, hm?”
“Mission after mission after mission.” came (Y/n)’s bitter reply. “I actually cried when my crow told me I could come home... I don’t know why I told you that. That’s embarrassing.”
Shinobu laughed, pulling back from (Y/n) to get a good look at her. “My, (Y/n), I can tell your time away had made you stronger. Even if you are still a bit of a crybaby.”
“Hey!” (Y/n) pouted.
“(Y/n) is back!”
(Y/n) was sent stumbling backward a few steps by three blurs of white. Naho, Sumi and Kiyo spoke a mile a minute filling in (Y/n) on all the goings on of the estate. Aoi and Kanao came by soon after and gave (Y/n) their own greetings, expressing their happiness over the slayer’s return in their own ways.
It was good to be home, it was. But after a few days, (Y/n) really got a chance to see how different Shinobu had become.
The tone of her voice carried like a soft breeze and a polite smile could always be seen on her lips. Aoi reminded (Y/n) more of the Shinobu she remembered than the current Shinobu before her. It unnerved her. The way Shinobu would tilt her head just so and giggle daintily into her hand... it was like staring at a ghost.
(Y/n) thought she could get over the change, but she simply couldn’t. Not when staring into those dark, purple eyes. Oh, how they swirled with anger and despair. If Shinobu couldn’t fully believe in the persona she had crafted for herself, then (Y/n) wouldn’t either. Late one night while helping Shinobu in the lab, (Y/n) finally decided to confront her.
“Why do you keep smiling like that?” (Y/n) frowned, worrying the page of the textbook before her between her fingers.
“Hm? I’m afraid I don’t quite know what you mean.” Shinobu replied casually, smile still firmly in place as she crushed some herbs under her pestle.
“You do too know what I mean,” (Y/n) eyebrows furrowed slightly in aggravation, “why do you keep smiling like you’re okay when you’re clearly not?”
“What have I said or done that makes you think I’m not okay? I’m perfectly fine, (Y/n),” she chuckled, “you worry for nothing.”
“That mask might have everyone else fooled... or maybe they’re just complacent, but I’m tired of pretending nothing is wrong. Talk to me, Shinobu.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Shinobu shook her head, “there is nothing to discuss. Perhaps I’ve kept you up too late.”
“You shouldn’t have to hide what you’re truly feeling,” (Y/n) persisted, “not from me at least. I thought we were friends.”
“We are.” Shinobu’s tone was nearly clipped as she crushed the herbs a bit more vigorously.
“Then stop acting so, so fake!” (Y/n) spat, wincing almost immediately as fast has the words came out. There was probably a better way she could have said that. Before she could apologize and try again, Shinobu put the pestle on the table with a harsh clink and stalked over to where (Y/n) was sitting. Fighting to keep her tone in check, she stared (Y/n) down with that plastic smile and spoke in a low, hushed tone that filled (Y/n)’s veins with ice.
“So I’m fake, is that right? People change, (Y/n). You were gone for a month, you can’t expect everyone to wait for you, to not change or grow in your absence.”
“People change, yes,” (Y/n) swallowed tightly at the proximity, “but whatever this is Shinobu, I really don’t think it’s healthy. I can tell you’re bottling something up. Kanae—”
“Leave,” Shinobu closes the textbook in front of (Y/n) and although she does so with care, the sound is deafening in (Y/n)’s ears, “I don’t care where you go, just get out of my lab. I’ve had my fill of this mindless chatter.”
“Are you being serious right now?” (Y/n) clenched her fists and stood from her chair, the legs slid roughly against the wood below.
“Yes, I don’t have time for immature children right now I’m afraid.” Came Shinobu’s airy reply.
“Immature— stop acting like you know better than me, we’re both kids, we’re fourteen!“ (Y/n) seethes, “I’m worried about you! I care about you! Don’t you get it?”
“Your worry is unfounded. It’s late and you are being of no help to me like this so I’ll ask you once more, leave.”
(Y/n) felt heat pricking the corners of her eyes. “I feel like I don’t know who you are anymore.” She breathed. “But fine, I’ll leave if that’s what you want.”
“At this moment in time, I couldn’t ask for anything better.” Shinobu replied, turning her back to (Y/n) to continue what she had previously been working on.
Once (Y/n) shut the door with finality and her quick footsteps became softer as she ran down the hall, Shinobu exhaled harshly, gripping the pestle tightly in her hand as she mercilessly pounded the dried herbs into dust.
“Only immature people don’t control their emotions... only immature people...”
As Shinobu repeated her mantra, (Y/n) burst into her room and looked around her. With trembling hands she changed into a fresh uniform and packed a small bag of belongings and slinging it over her shoulder. She grabbed her haori and attached her nichirin blade to her hip.
She looked around the room once more and caught her reflection in the little hand mirror on her desk, catching the bright colors of a wing that secured her hair in place. She reached back, freeing her hair from the clip and stared at it. She ran her thumb over the decorative clip before setting it on the desk. She reached for a plain hair band and tied her hair back with that instead.
(Y/n) left her room, sparing one last hurt glance at the butterfly clip before exiting the estate grounds. Before long, her crow circled overhead and (Y/n) held her arm out for the bird to take perch. The crow cawed at her expectantly, questioning her.
“If she wants me to leave, then what else is there to do?” (Y/n) shuddered in the wind. She turned away from the estate, willing herself not to turn back.
“Where will you go?” The crow asked.
“...I don’t know.”
With every step leaving the warmth of the estate farther behind, (Y/n)’s heart grew heavier in her chest.
“Have any of you seen (Y/n) today?” Shinobu asked the girls once they had come back in after hanging the laundry out to dry.
A chorus of negatives and head shakes met her and she sighed inwardly. “Very well then. Thank you.”
Shinobu traveled through the maze of hallways that made up her home, easily finding herself in front of (Y/n)’s door, knocking politely. With no reply, Shinobu forced herself not to roll her eyes and opened the door.
“(Y/n), if this is about last night...” Shinobu blinked at the empty room. Futon made, clean floors, not a thing out of place, but no (Y/n).
“Perhaps she’s out training.” Shinobu said to herself. She was about to close the door and head off into the gardens when a glint from the desk caught her eye and she approached. A soft gasp left her lips as she picked up the hairpin. Cradling it in her hands, Shinobu forced her breaths to remain controlled. (Y/n) had never gone a day without wearing the pin since the Kochou sisters gifted it to her.
In the safety of the empty room, Shinobu allowed herself to slump over the desk. She held the discarded hairpin close to her chest, immediately understanding what this small symbol meant. Yes, she knew what it meant, she just wished to know why. She fought against the waves, against the feeling that she was drowning again.
Four years was a long time, and if you asked (Y/n), the demon slayer would say that was especially true with her line of work. The demons were never the same, but the routine in between was lonely and dull. Kill a demon, settle down at an inn or in the trees for the day, move to the next village and repeat. Sometimes the stays were longer, but that was the gist of it.
(Y/n) kept to herself most of the time. There wasn’t really a point in making anything more than loose acquaintances with the constant traveling and dangers her work presented. Even on the few missions she had been paired up with other slayers in the area, she focused on the job at hand before quickly making her way to her next assignment. That started to change after she met Kamado Tanjirou and his demon sister Nezuko.
They did not get off on the right foot to say the least.
(Y/n) had been sent to the same location as the young slayer for a mission and knew something was off about him right away. Something off with that box he carried around anyway. (Y/n) opted to let him be for the time being, focusing on the mission ahead. Skip forward to the heat of battle, and (Y/n) could hardly believe her eyes when a demon burst from the boy’s box to attack another demon that had snuck around Tanjirou’s back.
(Y/n) had no time to watch and focus on this new development at the moment, she had her own demons to take care of. Her flower breathing techniques weaved through her enemies and heads went flying. Before long, the mission was completed and (Y/n) turned to the boy breathing heavily in the dirt with the demon from the box hovering over him looking at (Y/n) with curious eyes.
“You’re really skilled, (Y/n)-san!” Tanjirou praised, somehow unaware of the danger his sister was in, “You don’t even look like you’re out of breath.”
“I’ve been doing this for years. I know a lot. For instance,” (Y/n) spoke, her face stern as stone as she readied her blade, startling Tanjirou, “every demon must be destroyed.” She went in with a quick slash aimed at the demon’s neck  only to pause at the last second when the foolish younger boy leapt to his feet to shield the demon from the blow.
“What are you doing?” (Y/n) asked sternly.
“Wait, she’s my sister! She’s a good demon!”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you that what you are doing is against corps rules. I can sympathize with wanting to hold onto your loved ones, but there is no such thing as a good demon. Step aside.”
“No, Nezuko has never eaten a human and she never will!” Tanjirou held his ground while his sister growled at (Y/n) from behind him.
(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “Alright then,” she said with a sarcastic sweetness, “prove it.”
“What?” Tanjirou blinked.
“Prove it, take off the muzzle. Let’s see if she has as much control as you claim she does.”
“It shouldn’t be a problem, right? If she’s as docile as you claim what’s the issue?”
Tanjirou grit his teeth and gently pulled the muzzle to rest around his sister’s neck. (Y/n) stepped forward, her face inches away from the demon. She wasn’t worried, if the demon lunged for her she was confident she could slice its head the moment the air changed.
“Well demon?” (Y/n) sighed, surprising Tanjirou by slicing the pad of her thumb on her sharp blade, “hungry?”
To Nezuko’s credit, she hardly flinched. However, her eyes followed the path of the blood and a small trickle of drool slid past her lips. (Y/n) taunted her a bit further, waving the bloodied hand in front of her nose, still Nezuko held strong and even went as far as turning away.
“...I must say, I’m rather impressed,” (Y/n) finally spoke, stepping back from the demon and licking at her own wound, “marechi blood such as my own usually makes the demons go crazy,” she turns back to Tanjirou, “still, you must know that keeping a demon alive like this, especially as a slayer, is dangerous for both of you.”
“I know,” Tanjirou bowed his head.
“Well,” (Y/n) stretched and sighed, “as long as you know I guess it’s your own problem.”
“Yeah, just don’t call me out if a Hashira finds you out. I don’t feel like dying a disgrace.” (Y/n) waved him off. “You’re going to have to work even harder and be more discreet. That’s my advice to you.” And (Y/n) was going to leave it at that and walk away, but then her crow chanted in tandem with Tanjirou’s, calling them to continue forward together. (Y/n)′s eye twiched at the grating sounds.
“It looks like we’ll still be working together for some time, (Y/n)-san!” Tanjirou smiled, catching the older girl off guard by the sincerity behind it. You’d think he’d be more put off considering (Y/n) was planning to kill his sister not five minutes ago.
“I suppose we are.”
“Say, (Y/n)-san, you’re strong. You can help me get stronger too, right?”
“Hey, get her off of me!” (Y/n) momentarily panicked as the demon wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Nezuko, manners!”
(Y/n) wasn’t sure what she had done to get saddled with the strange siblings, but she could tell her job just went above her pay grade.
As it turns out, the Kamado siblings weren’t so bad. In fact, (Y/n) was starting to get really attached to the two. It was when Inosuke and Zenitsu were pulled into their little group, that was when (Y/n) realized she didn’t know what true pain was.
“(Y/n)-san, marry me!”
“Flower Girl, fight me!”
All damn day and night.
(Y/n) thought she’d finally have reprieve once Tanjirou had healed up at the Wisteria House, but of course the two boisterous boys were being sent with them to their next mission, Natagumo Mountain.
Zenitsu cowered at the forest edge and (Y/n) felt no remorse in leaving him behind as she sprinted ahead of Inosuke and Tanjirou, freeing the puppeted Mizunoto slayers.
Eventually they had been split off from each other to fight their own battles. (Y/n) was tired but otherwise unharmed, surprised when a small Nezuko came barreling into her.
“Nezu—?” (Y/n) gasped as the air shifted above her and she dodged the quick swipe aimed at the tiny body that clung to her. She quickly pivoted, blade in hand, and crossed swords with the assailant her eyes blowing wide at the placid face in front of her.
“Kanao?!” (Y/n) yelled out, the nostalgia and adrenaline coursing through her body was an odd, slightly terrifying combination.
Kanao tilted her head, her lips parted ever so slightly as recognition gleamed in her eyes. Despite this, Kanao did have a mission to complete and (Y/n) was keeping her from completing her orders. She continued swiping at the older girl she used to know, trying to behead the demon she could not fathom why she was protecting.
(Y/n) parried and blocked best she could, taking a defensive approach while she tried to talk Kanao down. She didn’t want to hurt Kanao, but she didn’t want Nezuko to be killed either.
Finally a saving grace, a crow swooping by with a message that saved Nezuko’s neck. (Y/n) sighed in relief as Kanao pulled back. Still looking at (Y/n) she pointed to the small demon that had wrapped herself tightly over (Y/n)’s back.
“Is this Nezuko?” She asked looking for a positive ID on the demon in question.
“Yes.” (Y/n) easily replied.
“Come with me then.” Kanao said, already corralling (Y/n) and her demon backpack in the direction of the forest edge.
(Y/n) walked alongside her a bit begrudgingly. If she made a break for it, she could have probably gotten away, but it was very likely Tanjirou and the others were already in custody. The best chance they had now was to do as they were told and hope Nezuko’s resolve would stand firm.
So (Y/n) hid Nezuko in her haori as the sun began to peak over the hills and followed Kanao to the clearing of bustling Kakushi. On the way, she began preparing her story for the trial she was sure her little team was bound to endure.
She was immediately broken from her thoughts at the ethereal sight of the Insect Pillar emerging from another point of the woods with the Water Pillar and a badly beaten Tanjirou on his back.
(Y/n)’s breath caught in her throat as those deep, dark eyes found hers at it was like time was at a stand still. At least it would have been if not for Shinobu steadily making her way towards her, her expression painfully impassive beyond the small upturn of her lips. Shinobu kept coming until she was directly in front of (Y/n).
Nezuko stirred in her sleep, clutching at (Y/n)’s back as if she could sense anxiety in the slayer’s heart. The demon was the only thing grounding her at this point as Shinobu tilted her head, an almost sinister look in her eye as she observed the small demon bundle protected by (Y/n)’s haori. All too soon, her cold eyes found their way back to (Y/n)’s and she spoke.
“I’m not going to have to tie you up, am I?”
(Y/n) closed her eyes briefly and tried to take a calming breath. With a short, almost imperceivable shake of her head, she hoarsely replied.
“Let’s try to keep it that way then.”
Shinobu and Kanao had let (Y/n) help Nezuko into her box, but then they immediately separated the two, having a Kakushi carry the box with a wary look in her eyes. (Y/n) did her best not to look behind her where Kanao and Shinobu walked, no doubt watching her for any sign of flight.
She gulped, eyes nervously shifting to the Water Pillar walking beside her, and the Kakushi who was now carrying Tanjirou in his stead. The Water Pillar spared her an emotionless glance as he forged ahead.
“Is he going to be alright?” She asked in a hushed tone.
Enough time had passed after her question that (Y/n) had figured the man wasn’t in the mood to talk, understandably so, but (Y/n) was worried about the state Tanjirou was in. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he actually answered her minutes later.
“That will all depend on how the trial goes.”
(Y/n) felt dread pool in her stomach as they continued to march down the mountain.
The garden of the Master’s estate would have been lovely on any other occasion, but (Y/n) could only bring herself to stare at the pebbles below her knees and Tanjirou passed out at her side. They had taken Nezuko somewhere else in the meantime, she could only hope they would let the demon be, let her prove herself in front of them instead of killing her on principle.
(Y/n) could feel that Shinobu was standing just behind her but she dared not engage. Four years of silence between the two and a trial for treason in the highest regard had brought them together again. (Y/n) wanted to scream.
Finally Tanjirou began to stir and (Y/n) allowed herself to push away her turmoil to rouse the younger boy gently. The last thing they needed was for him to be all up in arms before the trial even officially began.
“(Y/n)-san,” Tanjirou winced, “where are we? Where is Nezuko?”
“We’re at the Demon Slayer Headquarters,” (Y/n) replied, her voice was hardly above a whisper as she felt the pressure of all the Hashira’s eyes boring into them, “I don’t know where they’re keeping Nezuko, but right now you need to focus on the trial ahead.”
“The trial?”
“For harboring a demon, Tanjirou.”
“I wouldn’t bother trying to justify it! A crime as heinous as yours only ends one way!” Rengoku Kyojirou loudly proclaimed, rallying a range of replies from his fellow pillars.
“Now that he’s finally awake to witness his punishment, let’s behead these traitors and the demon and get on with our lives.” Uzui Tengen added.
“Please,” (Y/n) forced her voice not to waiver, “allow him to explain the situation at least—“
“You’re in no position to be asking for favors, girl.” Obanai Iguro cut her off, glaring down at her from where he lounged on a tree branch. “You had best hold your tongue. A slayer at your rank should be ashamed. I’m surprised you haven’t already sliced yourself open for the embarrassment you’ve brought to the corps.”
“Iguro-san!” Kanroji gasped at the harsh words.
“Who are these people, (Y/n)-san?” Tanjirou groaned, noticing for the first time that his hands were tied tightly behind his back.
“Tanjirou, are you serious?” (Y/n)’s tone was hushed and urgent, “they’re the Hashira! You know, best of the demon slayers?”
“I don’t know, umph!” (Y/n) hastily covered his mouth, a nervous sweat gathered at her brow.
“Just try to be respectful, will you? You already broke the thin ice you’ve been traveling on, let’s try not to drown as well!”
“This isn’t right, (Y/n)-san! Where is Nezuko? Zenitsu? Inosuke? Murata?” Tanjirou spoke out, his voice heavy with emotion as he fought his way up to his knees.
“What I want to know is why we haven’t tied Tomioka or the Kinoe ranked slayer.” Obanai sneered from his tree, ignoring Tanjirou’s desperate tone. “They are both part of the boy’s schemes and should be punished as such. How are we going to teach them a lesson?”
“Oh they’ll be fine,” (Y/n) shivered hearing Shinobu speak above her from where she knelt in the pebbles, “we’ll come up with a penalty later.”
(Y/n) froze, her eyes refused to look up beyond the feet that stood before Tanjirou and herself.
“What I’m interested right now, is hearing this boy’s story.” Shinobu said. “He’s been traveling with a demon all this time, and I wish to hear why. It must be quite the tale to have Tomioka-san break ranks,” the feet take a step closer and Shinobu’s voice dropped in volume, “and you as well, (Y/n).”
(Y/n) tightened her grip over her pant leg, still refusing to look up. She could imagine an array of expressions her old friend could be wearing right now that could cut her deeper than any blade. Pity, anger, disgust, smugness, apathy, that blank smile... no, (Y/n) couldn’t bear to look up.
“So why, Kamado Tanjirou?” Shinobu asked.
“Who cares?” Uzui scoffed from a few yards away, yet he waited for the boy to explain himself.
“She’s my—“ he broke into a fit of coughs and (Y/n) tried to soothe his back, telling him to breathe.
Shinobu stooped down, a gourd of water in hand, offering the water to Tanjirou and finally catching (Y/n)’s eyes as the boy drank the medicated water. When Shinobu’s eyes returned to Tanjirou, (Y/n) remembered how to breathe.
“She’s my little sister!” Tanjirou proclaimed. “She’s never hurt anyone and she never will!”
A few of the Hashira began casting their doubt, but Tanjirou powered through.
“I became a slayer to find a cure for her! In two whole years since she became a demon, she’s never eaten a single person! Let her continue to fight by my side!”
“Well, well, looks like the fun’s already starting.”
(Y/n) turned her head and her breathing hitched. Of course the Wind Pillar of all people would get his hands on Nezuko’s box.
“Is this the boy who has been traveling with a demon? Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Shinazugawa asked with a sinister grin.
“Please put down the box Shinazugawa-sama!” The Kakushi (Y/n) recalled to have prior possession of the box pleaded.
“Shinazugawa, please do not act out of line.” Shinobu warned.
“Nah, run that by me again, kid?” Sanemi jeered, holding the box precariously in one hand, “fighting alongside a demon? Impossible, you idiot!”
Tanjirou and (Y/n) called out in horror as the Hashira rammed his blade clean through the box, skewering Nezuko.
Tanjirou scrambled to his feet and lunged at Sanemi, (Y/n) was about to get to her feet as well, but Shinobu held her firmly in place, clutching (Y/n)’s arm tightly while shooting her a warning glance.
(Y/n) could only watch, mouth agape, as Tanjirou head butted Shinazugawa to the ground.
Mitsuri attempted to stifle a snort, covering her face in her hands.
“If you can’t tell the difference between good demons and bad ones, then you don’t deserve to be a Hashira!” Tanjirou yelled.
“We’re doomed.” (Y/n) whispered weakly. She felt as if all her blood was sinking to her knees, sinking as fast as their chance of forgiveness down the drain.
Before Sanemi could retaliate, a couple of Oyakata-sama’s children announced the Master’s arrival. (Y/n) was quick to follow Shinobu in a bow, wincing when she heard what could only be Sanemi pounding Tanjirou into the rocks, forcing him to bow.
“Hello everyone,” Oyakata-sama addressed the garden, his voice carried in the warm breeze, “how good it feels to have you all here.”
Sanemi greeted the Master, formally asking for an explanation. If not for the seriousness of the moment, (Y/n) would have rolled her eyes.
“The Kamado siblings have been sanctioned, you see. I request you all respect that.” Oyakata stated simply.
An array of mostly negative objections arose at this ending with Sanemi calling for punishments for Tanjirou, (Y/n), and Giyuu.
The Master stood silently for a moment before asking one of his children to read a letter aloud. A letter from a previous Hashira, detailing Nezuko’s history. The letter also revealing that should Nezuko fail; Urokodaki, Tanjirou, and Giyuu would atone through seppuku.
A few of the Hashira were still willing to speak against such a plan, swearing that it was not a risk worth taking. Once there was a lull in their heated remarks,  Ubuyashiki saw fit to address (Y/n).
“(Y/n), my child.”
(Y/n)’s head jutted up at the sudden call of attention to her presence. “Ye— yes, Master?”
“Why do you think that of the squad that has been built around you, only you are here?” Oyakata-sama asked with an warm smile.
“I would suppose it would be because I should know better than a ragtag group of Mizunoto, Master.” came (Y/n)’s subdued reply.
“I would hope so.” The Master chuckled, causing heat to bloom across (Y/n)’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you kill the demon?”
“I was going to, but she proved herself to me,” (Y/n) began speaking more evenly as she recalled the moment, “I presented her with my blood, my rare blood, and she turned away. I have traveled with the Kamado siblings for weeks and not once had Nezuko hurt anyone. She protects people, she sleeps to replenish energy. Based on everything I have observed, I believe in Nezuko. I believe in Tanjirou.”
“Would you stake your life on this along with the others listed here today?” Oyakata-sama asked.
(Y/n) breathed in, firmly nodding her head. Her eyes meeting Ubuyashiki’s milky blank one’s despite his lack of vision.
“Yes, I would.”
Shinobu’s hold on (Y/n)’s bicep curled. (Y/n) hadn’t realized she had still been holding her down.
“And here we have three, now four, people willing to take responsibility for this demon. What say you, my children?” The Master asked the Hashira warmly.
“Forgive me Master, but this is not a matter of numbers!” Sanemi yelled, “Demons are sick creatures that need to be put down and I’ll prove it to you now!”
Sanemi sliced his arm, much more blood than (Y/n) had conjured with the small cut to her thumb that she had presented to Nezuko. She and Tanjirou watched as the blood dripped to the box, staining the lacquered wood.
“No good doing this in the light.” Obanai said, “it won’t come out unless it’s dark.”
Sanemi dashed to the shaded engawa, enticing Nezuko to come out with another stab at the box.
“No!” Tanjirou yelled, he made to scramble to the engawa, but was quickly subdued by Obanai.
“Stop!” (Y/n) echoed Tanjirou’s sentiments, pulling against Shinobu’s hold. “Why are you being so needlessly cruel?”
Sanemi ignored them, a wicked grin on his face as he watched Nezuko emerge from the box, growling lowly.
“Well then, demon?” He sneered, holding out his arm.
(Y/n) could tell Nezuko was straining against the pull of the marechi blood. With all of the injuries she had sustained working against her as well, it couldn’t be easy for the demon to hold back.
“Nezuko!” Tanjirou wheezed as Obanai was pincering his lung painfully with his elbow.
“Kamado-kun,” Shinobu addressed, “don’t struggle too much while in that hold, your lung might burst.”
Tanjirou only struggled harder, surprising everyone when he broke through his rope restraints and stumbled towards the engawa. Tomioka stopped Obanai from pinning him again.
“Nezuko!” Tanjirou called again.
His voice seemed to finally break through to Nezuko and after a few tense moments, she turned away from Sanemi in disgust.
(Y/n) couldn’t help the relieved smile that overtook her lips.
Once the scene was relayed to the Master, he seemed pleased with the report. He told Tanjirou that although Nezuko had done well to prove herself, they would need to grow even stronger before they could be fully accepted by the others. With that wisdom, he said they were free to go.
(Y/n) startled as Shinobu finally let her go, raising her arm to speak. “If all is well then Oyakata-sama, allow me to provide lodging for them.”
Both (Y/n) and Tanjirou seemed a bit wary of this sudden hospitality, (Y/n) even more so, but if Shinobu noticed or cared she didn’t show it, signaling the Kakushi who had been standing by to gather the injured boy and the demon.
The Kakushi tasked with carrying Nezuko seemed a bit frightened of the little demon kneeling in her box, so naturally (Y/n) rose to carry her instead.
“I’ve got her.” She smiled kindly and reached for the box and secured it shut, but not before giving the demon girl a few well earned head pats that rose Nezuko’s mood greatly.
Another Kakushi picked up Tanjirou then (Y/n) and the two Kakushi quickly made their retreat. That is, until Tanjirou bursted back into the garden asking to headbutt Sanemi.
“Please excuse us!” (Y/n) and the two Kakushi bowed deeply once they got him back under control and sped off twice as fast. (Y/n) and the Kakushi running beside her berated Tanjirou from where he sat on the other Kakushi’s back for such a disrespectful display after being allowed the impossible. 
When they reached the Butterfly Estate, (Y/n)’s heart squeezed in her chest. The grounds looked to be near the same as the night she had left. No one was there to greet them at the door, so they went around the gardens and found Kanao standing amongst the butterflies.
“Hi, Kanao.” (Y/n) greeted the younger girl bashfully. Now that they weren’t battling over keeping Nezuko’s head, (Y/n) finally took in how much she had grown in four years.
Kanao stayed silent, a serene smile on her lips as she merely observed the group that had approached her.
“What are you all here for?” A sharp voice called from behind them, causing the Kakushi to jump and spin to quickly explain they were here to put Tanjirou in the infirmary.
“Well then come with me...” Aoi’s words trailed off a bit once her eyes found (Y/n)’s face.
“Hi Aoi,” (Y/n) gave a nervous half wave, “you’ve gotten a bit taller.”
Aoi marched straight up to (Y/n) and berated her with a barrage of small fists pounding painlessly against her chest. “What would you expect after being gone so long!” She sniffed, “Four years without a single letter or visit? We thought you were dead, idiot!”
“(Y/n)-san? Do you know these people?” Tanjirou asked from Gotou’s back.
“Yeah, I uh, sorta used to live here.” (Y/n) replied, allowing Aoi to continue hitting her to her heart’s content.
“‘Sorta used to live here’, you’re family! You have always had a place here! Now come on, I’m sure Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho will have a bone to pick with you as well. And Shinobu-sama!” Aoi’s fist struck especially hard at the thought, “Shinobu-sama is going to have some choice words for you when she gets back I just know it!”
Aoi led them all inside, occasionally throwing a few more jabs into (Y/n)’s side to make sure she was really there. She didn’t admit that was what they were for of course, she played it off more as a punishment for disappearing for so long.
There was screaming coming from the infirmary and (Y/n) would have been worried if she hadn’t recognized the sound almost immediately.
“Zenitsu!” Tanjirou called excitedly.
While Tanjirou and poor Gotou were dealing with the sobbing, snotty boy, Aoi had dragged (Y/n) over to Kiyo who had been tending to Zenitsu only moments before.
“Look who finally decided to come home.” Aoi told the younger girl who looked up, tilting her head. (Y/n) almost thought Kiyo hadn’t recognized her. Being as young as she was, she wouldn’t have blamed her, but then she burst forward and hugged (Y/n) tightly around her waist.
“What’s going on in here? Hm, Aoi-san, Kiyo?”
Naho and Sumi had made their way into the infirmary with a basket of fresh linens and paused at the entryway for a moment before they realized who their friend was hugging and ran over to join her with tears in their eyes.
“(Y/n)-san, where have you been all this time?” Naho whimpered.
“Why didn’t you say anything before you left?” Sumi cried.
“I’m sorry,” (Y/n) knelt down to better hug them all, “I know it’s not enough to make up for anything, but I’m sorry for leaving like that. It wasn’t fair,” she looked up to meet Aoi’s stern blue eyes, “to any of you.”
“Well, make it up to us by sticking around from now on.” Aoi said, crossing her arms. “No more running away.”
“But...” (Y/n) was conflicted. Had Shinobu not told the girls why she had left? (Y/n) mustered up the best smile she could and nodded feebly. “All right.”
“(Y/n)-san, your box is... humming?” Sumi pointed at the wooden box.
“Oh, um, you see... in this box is my friend, Nezuko,” (Y/n) treaded carefully, not wishing to startle the girls too badly if she could help it.
“You have someone in a box?” Aoi barked, “well let them out for goodness sake!”
“It’s a little bright in here...” (Y/n) shifted her vision to where Tanjirou and Zenitsu were talking, catching sight of Inosuke as well. Poor boar boy looked like he’d seen better days. “And I’m not sure that Shinobu-” should she still speak of her so informally? “-would be pleased if I let her out without her blessing.”
“Why wouldn’t Shinobu-sama allow you to let someone out of a box?” Aoi rolled her eyes.
“It’s complicated. I’m sure she’ll want to talk to you all about it once she comes back. Until then, Nezuko will be fine in here.”
The girls, though incredulous, let the subject drop for now. Although, they couldn’t help but eye the box with suspicion. Once Tanjirou was settled in the infirmary, the butterfly girls dragged (Y/n) away to talk about the goings on of the last four years which soon devolved into hounding (Y/n) for her own stories to share, even Kanao had come by to sit and listen.
“...And that’s how I helped the fishing village take care of the demon that was lurking in the sea.”
“Tell us another one, (Y/n)-san!” The youngest girls pleaded, kicking their feet in the air behind them. They had migrated to lay flat on their stomachs as the stories progressed and watched (Y/n) recount her adventures with their heads propped up on their arms with rapt attention.
“I’m afraid that will have to wait for another time, it’s quite late you know.”
Everyone turned to the door to find Shinobu staring down at them. The youngest girls pouted a bit, trying to get a bit more time to stick around, but Shinobu held firm and directed them to their rooms.
“You’ll still be here tomorrow, right? (Y/n)-san?” Sumi asked from the doorway.
“I...” (Y/n) pulled at the sleeve of her uniform and subtly pursed her lips while trying to figure out how to proceed, to her surprise, Shinobu spoke up on her behalf.
“I promise you’ll see her in the morning. Now of to bed. (Y/n) and I have much to discuss.”
The thought of having a prolonged conversation with Shinobu sent shivers through (Y/n)’s spine. Once all the girls were well out of sight, Shinobu redirected her attention to (Y/n).
“Let’s drop off your cargo first,” Shinobu said, motioning to the box sitting beside (Y/n), “I’ve arranged a room and Kamado-kun has been wondering where his... sister, has been.”
“Of course.” (Y/n) stood, shouldering the box.
Apparently the room was rather far. (Y/n) felt as if the silence between them was slowly eating at her until she finally decided to speak. For better or for worse.
“You’ve taken all of this extraordinarily well,” (Y/n) commented, testing the waters.
“Mm, I’d like to hold off on any conversation until we drop off the demon. Use this time to gather any thoughts, if you have them that is.”
(Y/n)’s brow furrowed slightly, eyes narrowed. She was sure that was some kind of dig at her intelligence, but she held her tongue.
They dropped off Nezuko, (Y/n) and Tanjirou bid each other good night, and then (Y/n) was led to an all too familiar space, the lab.
Shinobu motioned for (Y/n) to sit at one of the less cluttered tables while she closed the door firmly behind them. (Y/n) would have been lying if she said she wasn’t even just a tad bit concerned by the setting of this ‘talk’ that was about to unfold. Finally, Shinobu took the stool across from her on the other side of the table. She laced her fingers together, using them to prop up her chin as her endlessly amethyst eyes bore into (Y/n)’s. That ghostly smile seemingly perfected after four years of separation, had (Y/n)’s hands clench into fists under the table.
“So,” Shinobu began, her voice deceptively sweet, “when exactly do you think it was when you completely lost your mind?”
“Excuse me?” (Y/n)’s eye twitched.
“Defending a demon, offering up your own life for a demon to live... how insanely idiotic. I thought you were smarter than that. I suppose it had been.. four years, was it? Four years since you ran off. And I thought that was the most careless thing you could ever do. You really have outdone yourself!”
“Stop,” (Y/n) had heard enough of these little jabs and she new well enough Shinobu could go all day as long as she hadn’t changed too drastically in their time apart. However, Shinobu powered through.
“Everyone was devastated when you left you know. We were a family and you just up and left in the middle of the night without a word so soon after—“ After Kanae, “Now you’re putting everything on the line for some demon? You’re a coward. A selfish coward.”
(Y/n) was really angry now. She stood up so fast her stool clattered to the ground behind her. She slammed her hands against the table and stared furiously into Shinobu’s placid expression, though she could detect a hint of a heated spark in those deep purple eyes.
“Don’t act like you’re so innocent in all of this! You told me to leave! You want to judge me for trusting Nezuko with my life, fine! But I only did what you commanded of me when I left. You don’t get to say I just fucked off because you think I didn’t care enough!”
Shinobu had the nerve to chuckle, though no trace of humor was there, as she slowly rose to her own feet and assumed a similar stance over the table as (Y/n).
“Did you really think when I said that, when I told you to leave the lab, I meant I wanted you to walk out of my life?” Shinobu asked seriously.
“I didn’t know what you wanted! You weren’t the same person anymore! Don’t try telling me that it wasn’t what you wanted either, you never came looking for me. You never sent your crow. Tell me you weren’t ecstatic when you woke up that morning and didn’t have to deal with me anymore!”
Shinobu slapped her own hand against the table, a vein pulsed painfully under the skin of her forehead. She opened her mouth to retort, poisoned words ready to lash out with a flick of her tongue, but as luck would have it, a Kakushi nervously called from the other side of the door.
“Kochou-sama, the treatments for the, uh, despiderfication of the slayers from Natagumo Mountain are ready to be carried out with your supervision.”
Shinobu closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before opening them again and looking significantly more drained.
“I see. Please inform the others that I’ll be there in a few moments.”
“Right away, Kochou-sama.”
As the footsteps pattered away, (Y/n) fixed her stool upright before heading in the direction of the door, assuming she and Shinobu were done talking, or screaming rather. (Y/n) was surprised to feel Shinobu grasp her hand as she tried to pass by.
“You remember where your room is, right?” Shinobu asked, the undertones of her voice still taut with anger.
(Y/n) too tired to fight on, responded simply with a mute nod.
“I had the Kakushi clean it earlier today. Everything should still be as you left it.”
Shinobu let go of (Y/n)’s hand and it immediately felt cold. The Hashira opened the lab door and stepped out into the hallway, her back to (Y/n) as she made her last parting statement.
“If you know what is good for you, you won’t step a foot outside of estate grounds without speaking to me first.”
“And if I don’t?” (Y/n) asked just to be obstinate.
“Then I guess I’ll have to hunt you down for sport.” Shinobu quickly replied, turning to face (Y/n) just to show her how serious she was.
(Y/n) couldn’t help the weak guffaw that left her lips. To hear such a threat delivered by such a soothing tone was practically oxymoronic.
Shinobu lingered for a moment longer before gliding off to see to her patients while (Y/n) turned down the opposite end of the hallway and traveled down a few more to find herself standing outside of her old room. She opened the door, the space was clean as Shinobu promised. She closed the door softly behind her, blocking off the light from the hall. There would be time to be sentimental in the morning. Right now, between the Mountain, the trial and the emotional battle with the Insect Hashira herself, (Y/n) was exhausted. She scooted her way into the freshly made futon and fell asleep with the nostalgic smell of wisteria petals drifting through her airways.
(Y/n) awoke around mid-morning to the sun shining through her window. She stretched and got dressed, her fingers pausing over the last few buttons of her uniform as she glanced over the desk.
The butterfly hair clip she had once worn with pride sat in front of her. It appeared to be left untouched by time. Not even a speck of dust adorned the colorful wings. She reached out to it, but her fingers curled just before she touched it. She pulled her hand back as a knock sounded on the door.
“It’s Aoi.” A voice called from the other side.
(Y/n) quickly took the last few steps needed to reach the door and slid it open to greet Aoi but before she could, the stern girl stepped inside and pulled the door shut again.
“Were you and Shinobu-sama fighting last night?” She asked hurriedly.
“Where did you hear that?” (Y/n) answered the question with one of her own.
“The Kakushi are partial to gossip. Now what did you do!” Aoi huffed, jabbing (Y/n)’s shoulder.
“Why does it have to be me? Shinobu was the one who started it!” (Y/n) backed up, rubbing her shoulder.
“You two better make up soon. It will hurt Naho, Sumi and Kiyo if they find out you’re still mad at each other,” Aoi crossed her arms over her chest.
“It’s not that easy, Aoi. It’s been four years. It’s not all going to go away overnight.”
“Do I have to do everything around here?” Aoi grumbled to herself, passing a hand over her face. “I’ll help you, but you better try to be civil.”
“Aoi, I don’t need help. I’m sorry that fight got back to you. If Shinobu and I talk again, I promise I’ll try harder to keep my temper in check, okay?”
Aoi sighed and shook her head, “Fine. That wasn’t what I had come to talk to you about anyway.”
“Oh,” (Y/n) tilted her head, “then what is it?”
“Your friends,” Aoi pinched the bridge of her nose, “they’re driving me crazy. I need you to get the blonde and the boar to participate in recovery training.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” (Y/n) answered with slight reluctance. She knew just how difficult those two could be.
Aoi and (Y/n) arrived at the room that was being used for the boys’ recovery training. Tanjirou was already working hard, trying to catch Kanao in a game of tag, while Zenitsu and Inosuke watched from the corner with bitter disinterest.
“Hey,” (Y/n) addressed the younger teens, “what’s the problem? Don’t you guys want to get better? Stronger?”
“It’s pointless.” Inosuke weakly answered.
“(Y/n)-san, this training is too difficult!” Zenitsu cried.
(Y/n) dodged the weepy blonde’s attempts at hugging her and bonked him on the head with the side of her fist.
“I feel no sympathy for you. Aoi and the others are working really hard to get you back in fighting shape, the least you could do is put a little bit of effort in!” (Y/n) crossed her arms, “before you know it, Tanjirou will leave you both in the dust. Do you really want that?”
Zenitsu and Inosuke grunted, still refusing to budge. (Y/n) motioned for Naho to hand her a cup of medicated water and promptly splashed its contents all over the boys.
“What was that for?” Zenitsu screeched.
“Want revenge? Come take me on.” (Y/n) motioned to the table of cups.
Naho, Sumi and Kiyo made small sounds of excitement, trying to encourage the boys, but they just grumbled and walked back to the infirmary.
“You guys are going to regret walking away!” (Y/n) called after them. “Let me know when you are done moping and want to get back to work!”
“Oh my.” Shinobu giggled as she walked in, watching Zenitsu and Inosuke sulk past her.
Shinobu turned to observe the room, pausing at (Y/n). Her eyes flickered down at (Y/n)’s chest and stayed there long enough for the other slayer to notice.
“What?” (Y/n) had grumbled mostly to herself as she followed Shinobu’s gaze downward. Heat shot to her face immediately as she realized she had forgotten to finish buttoning her uniform after Aoi distracted her. It wasn’t showing a lot, just her collar bones and a bit of her chest, but it was still jarring. With a strangled chirp, she quickly buttoned her uniform the rest of the way.
“Oh please, no need to cover up on my account.” Shinobu easily teased, though she felt a bit embarrassed to have been caught staring. She wasn’t entirely sure why her vision gravitated there to begin with.
After a few false starts, (Y/n) finally choked out, “what do you want?”
“I need Kanao and Aoi to help me gather more herbs for spider demon antidotes, not that it’s any of your business.”
“Kochou-sama,” Aoi interjected before (Y/n) could retaliate, “Kanao and I are helping Tanjirou complete his recovery training for the day. I’ve asked (Y/n)-san to fill in for us and she has readily agreed to take our place.”
(Y/n) gave Aoi a look, prompting the younger girl to pinch at (Y/n)’s side discreetly. A message to keep her mouth shut. Kanao simply blinked, twisting on the ball of her foot to dodge another one of Tanjirou’s lunges.
“Very well then, keep up (Y/n). I hope you still remember a thing or two about plants in that thick skull of yours,” Shinobu glided past (Y/n) to step out onto the engawa, “though I wouldn’t be too surprised if all of that knowledge fell out of your head along with your common sense.”
(Y/n) opened her mouth before shutting it firmly closed. Remembering that the younger girls were there and what Aoi had asked of her, she pursed her lips and silently fell into step beside the Hashira, walking with her to the nearby forest where the herbs they needed flourished.
“You recall what Aralia Cordata looks like, correct?” Shinobu asked once they were well within the trees.
“Yeah, kind of hard to miss that shrub if you know what you’re looking for.” (Y/n) groused.
“Fine, fine. Don’t come crying to me if you touch something poisonous.”
“I won’t. Won’t touch anything poisonous I mean. Because I know what I’m doing.”
“Are you telling me that or are you just trying to reassure yourself?”
(Y/n) chose not to reply, instead she split off from Shinobu to one of the shrubs in question and began harvesting a few leafy tendrils from it. Before long, her basket was filled and she turned just in time to see Shinobu turn back to her own bush, pretending to examine one of the tendrils she had cut.
“You know,” (Y/n) sighed as she stood back to her full height, “Aoi only made me come here in her stead because that fight we had last night got back to her. She expects us to make up.”
“Mm, I figured it was something like that,” Shinobu hummed, “I do believe that for once, she is too optimistic in that regard.”
“Well, you never did like admitting when you were wrong,” (Y/n) shrugged, “or saying you’re sorry. It’s comforting to know you haven’t completely destroyed your old personality.”
“And what exactly have I been wrong about, (Y/n)?” Shinobu’s forehead pulsed, “what exactly have I done that requires an apology?”
“You lie to everyone Shinobu. You hide behind plastic smiles pretending to be someone you’re not to fill a void. Saying your fine and shrugging everyone off while holding them at arm's length. When I tried to talk to you, you pushed me away and told me to leave. You were dismissive, cold.”
(Y/n) wrapped her arms around herself as if a chilling wind overcame her. Continuing on, she spoke lowly before Shinobu could speak her denial.
“Not to say that I don’t have my own fault in all of this. Even if I thought you really wanted me gone that night, I should have fought harder for you. I knew you were hurting, but I gave up and left anyway. That is something I’ve thought about a lot in our time apart and I regret it every day because you were worth fighting for.”
(Y/n) blew out a harsh breath of air, running a hand over her scalp she made her closing statement.
“If there was one thing you were right about last night, it’s that I’m a coward and I’m sorry that I didn’t try harder.”
(Y/n) chanced a look at Shinobu’s face. The Hashira’s eyes rounded and her mouth was ever so slightly agape. The silence hung in the air until a sweet wisteria breeze swept through the trees and (Y/n) cleared her throat and looked away.
“So if we could at least pretend to get along for the sake of the girls, I think Aoi would appreciate it.” (Y/n) added before reaching down to collect her basket. A sudden noise, like air being rapidly released through one’s nose, came from behind (Y/n) and she paused in her movements to glance back at Shinobu who was looking down at the leaf she was worrying between her fingers.
“I... apologize, for pushing you away in such a way that made you think you had to exile yourself. It was also cruel of me to say you didn’t care about us when I knew that you thought of this place as your home. I was trying to hurt you back and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” Shinobu solemnly said.
Now it was (Y/n)’s turn to stare. Soon, Shinobu leveled a cocky smile and stood with her basket of leaves and a few other miscellaneous plants she gathered.
“Looks like you were wrong about my ability to apologize, hm?” She said.
“Shut up. Don’t ruin the moment.” (Y/n) smiled, reaching for her own basket.
The atmosphere surrounding the girls leaving the forest felt a lot more relaxed than it had upon entering.
Days turned into weeks and everything seemed so much better after. It was still awkward at times, but (Y/n) and Shinobu were finding their rhythm again. There was still a little hostility at times, but rather than avoid each other, they talked it out. It was almost frightening how in sync they were when they were working well together.
(Y/n) split her time between helping Shinobu with the slayers turned spiders and helping the younger girls train Tanjirou. She was elated by the boy’s progress as he finally managed to catch Kanao. She had noticed Zenitsu and Inosuke lurking nearby and gestured to the room. Now that they knew recovery training was possible and Tanjirou was leaving them in the dust, the rambunctious boys finally felt the need to catch up with their comrade’s progress.
Before long, the boys were well enough to continue the training on their own and (Y/n) found herself spending more and more time with Shinobu. They would spend hours talking or saying nothing at all, just enjoying each other’s company while they worked away on medicines and poisons.
It didn’t take long for (Y/n) to notice the difference. How Shinobu took up more than her fair share of space in (Y/n)’s thoughts. Even just catching sight of her across the garden was starting to make (Y/n)’s heart leap. On the occasion Shinobu would spot her she’d smile and wave, making (Y/n)’s heart stop all together before kicking into overdrive. The lingering touches and whispered words Shinobu would share with her as they worked in the lab certainly didn’t help either. Just when (Y/n) had thought they finally found their dynamic... Why was it changing again already?
(Y/n) was telling Naho, Sumi and Kiyo the story of how she met Tanjirou and Nezuko while she patted the demon’s head. Ever since Nezuko had woken up, the younger girls, though skittish at first, had grown to be fascinated and even enamored with her. As (Y/n) retold the tale, Nezuko humming happily at her side, Shinobu happened upon the group.
“I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this session short. Tanjirou and the others are ready to get back out on the road now. Something about joining Rengoku-san on his next mission.”
“How did I not here about this plan sooner?” (Y/n) frowned.
“That’s a question best suited for Tanjirou to answer I suppose.” Shinobu replied rather emotionlessly, concerning (Y/n).
So while everyone else was getting ready to leave, (Y/n) pulled Tanjirou aside and asked him what was going on.
“I didn’t tell you we were leaving because I hope you’ll stay and continue to rebuild the relationships you have here, (Y/n)-san. I appreciate everything you’ve done for Nezuko and I, and now I hope to return the favor.” Tanjirou smiled brightly.
“And how do you figure you’re doing that?” (Y/n) crossed her arms.
“Because the longer you get to stay here, the more time you get to spend with Shinobu-san! I can smell that you two want to be together more now than ever.”
“You and your nose I swear,” heat radiated off of (Y/n)’s cheeks, “I think you have intuition and that sense mixed up.”
Tanjirou merely laughed in response.
“So, you guys think you’ll really be okay without me? You’ll stay out of trouble?”
“Don’t worry, (Y/n)-san! We’ll see each other again soon!” Tanjirou beamed.
(Y/n) smiled in return and they rejoined the send off.
“Where did Shinobu-san go?” Tanjirou wondered.
(Y/n) looked around and sure enough, the Pillar was nowhere to be seen.
“She must have had something urgent to attend to,” she answered, making a note to search for her later.
(Y/n) stood out in the garden until the loud group disappeared into the trees and their shouts could no longer be heard over the rustling of the leaves. She took a moment to stare out into the clear blue sky before returning inside.
(Y/n) was going to go look for Shinobu, but she wanted to go to her room to change her uniform first since Zenitsu had snotted all over it in his tearful goodbye.
She opened the door and was surprised to find Shinobu already inside. Shinobu’s back was turned to her as she quickly ran a sleeve over her face. She cleared her throat before facing back with a weak smile.
“(Y/n), forget something?”
“Huh?” (Y/n) blinked, still trying to process why Shinobu might have just been tearing up in her room of all places.
“The others must be ready to leave now. You better pick up what you needed so they don't have to wait too long.”
“They already left, Shinobu.” (Y/n) explained. “I hadn’t planned on going with them.”
“Oh.” Shinobu turned to look outside the window of (Y/n)’s room, hoping the blood that buzzed in her cheeks hadn’t burned its way to her ears as well.
“Shinobu, is something wrong?” (Y/n) tested.
“I just feel a bit silly now I suppose.” Shinobu admitted, bringing a slight smile to (Y/n)’s face with her honesty. “I thought you were gone again.”
“Well, I wouldn’t leave without a proper goodbye, not again.” (Y/n) came up beside Shinobu, intending to give her hand a comforting squeeze when she felt something other than skin instead. Looking down she saw her old butterfly clip in Shinobu’s hand, a quick look at the empty spot at her desk confirmed it.
Shinobu noticed that (Y/n) had noticed and rose the hairclip up between them with a subdued exhale.
“You know, every morning I wonder if it will be the morning you feel comfortable enough to wear this again.” Shinobu said, twirling the insect in her fingers. “When I thought you were gone and I saw this still sitting on your desk, it brought me back to places I’d rather not think about.”
“I’m sorry,” (Y/n) rested her hand over the back of Shinobu’s haori, “I just haven’t felt... I don’t know, worthy of it? I didn’t intend to make you feel bad.”
A small puff of air left Shinobu’s nose at the words. “It isn’t a matter of worth, it’s about whether or not you feel like you belong here again. Whether or not you’re comfortable here.”
“Agree to disagree.” (Y/n) joked. “But if it makes you feel better, I’m glad I get to spend more time here. I’ve been happier in these last few weeks than in the last few years.”
“I’m glad.” Shinobu watched a couple of butterflies flutter against the window before turning back to the garden. “And if you insist on it being a matter of worth, you are more than worthy. It’s not even a question to me.”
“Thank you.” (Y/n) simpered. Her breathing hitched slightly when Shinobu reached up to run her fingers through a loose lock of (Y/n)’s hair.
“Would you let me do your hair?” Shinobu asked softly.
“I’d like that.” (Y/n) whispered.
Shinobu guided (Y/n) back to the desk and sat her down on the chair. She freed (Y/n)’s hair from its plain hair band and quietly ran a brush through her locks with such softness that (Y/n) felt like she might fall asleep. Shinobu gathered the hair in her hands and styled it as she wished, clipping it together with the butterfly hair clip. Shinobu checked over her work, her hands resting on (Y/n)’s shoulders.
“You look perfect.” (Y/n) shivered. She hadn’t expected Shinobu’s lips to be so close to her ear. Neither had she expected the lips to ghost over her cheek in a light kiss.
“I just remembered I have a meeting I need to attend. You’ll help the girls with the infirmary won’t you?”
(Y/n) had almost forgotten how to speak but managed to pull it together. “Of course! I’ll, um, see you when you get back?”
“Perhaps,” Shinobu removed her hands from (Y/n)’s shoulders, “I won’t be back until late though.”
A shy hug (in slightly awkward positioning due to the gross state of the Kinoe’s uniform, courtesy of Zenitsu) and Shinobu parted ways with (Y/n). (Y/n) met up with the girls in the infirmary and was almost immediately met with a chorus of cheers from Naho, Kiyo and Sumi when they noticed her hair. Aoi and Kanao smiled at the sight as well. A full day of caring for the infirmary made (Y/n) excited to finally get into bed for the night.
She awoke with a scream caught in her throat. Old demons had visited her in her sleep. As she worked to calm her heart, she noticed the light of the full moon streaming through her window. With a few more deep breaths she sat up from her futon and wrapped her haori around her shoulders.
Quietly exiting her room, she padded through the halls until she found her way to the kitchen, a smile pulled at her lips when she found Shinobu already there boiling water.
“Rough night?” Shinobu asked. She was also in her bed wear, her hair hanging loose from its usual style.
“Yes,” (Y/n) moved to stand beside her, “it’s been awhile since the last one I had.”
“How did you deal with that when you were on the road?”
“I would buy little sacks of tea leaves as I went. On bad nights or whenever sleep eluded me I’d boil up some water and try a new blend. Yours was always the best though.”
“I was already going to make you a cup, no need for flattery.”
“No flattery here. Just the truth.” (Y/n) swore, making Shinobu’s smile just a tad fuller.
Shinobu finished preparing the cups and as (Y/n) took hers about ready to leave, the Hashira asked her to wait.
“It’s a full moon tonight. Want to watch the stars for a moment?” Shinobu asked.
“I’d love to.” (Y/n) nodded.
The pair walked outside along the engawa until they had a pleasant view of the full brightness of the moon. They sat along the engawa’s edge, letting their legs dangle as they sipped their tea in the drowning noise of cicada and cricket songs.
(Y/n) chanced a glance at Shinobu in her periphery and marveled at how the moonlight highlighted her skin to the point where she almost appeared to be glowing. The way it reflected off of her eyes was absolutely enchanting. (Y/n) forced her attention back on the sky. Though beautiful it seemed to pale in comparison to the girl next to her.
As her eyes traced over the larger craters of the moon, she thought back on an old saying she had read at one of the inns she had frequented. An old, battered collection of pages that she read through when sleep didn’t come. She had read that particular work quite a few times.
She wondered if perhaps Shinobu had read it too. Though more likely the girl had her face buried in medical texts than anything else. (Y/n) then wondered, if perhaps she could get away with saying it. A confession without consequence, but on the off change that Shinobu was knowledgeable on the old text it could damage the progress they had made in healing their relationship. Perhaps it would be better to just enjoy the moment. (Y/n) took another sip of tea.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”
(Y/n) nearly choked on her tea, spluttering and coughing as she tried in vein to stop herself. Finally she managed to calm down only to notice how intently Shinobu was staring at her.
Had she meant that literally? Shinobu was looking at (Y/n) so expectantly, but it could easily just be because she had nearly blacked out from inhaling her tea!
“...It is.” (Y/n) finally answered hiding her face in her cup, looking at neither Shinobu nor the moon.
Another long silence filled by the chirps of insects enjoying the humid night air. (Y/n) had finished her tea and set her cup to her right, her free hand that had been resting between Shinobu and herself was soon covered by a cool and calloused touch.
(Y/n) shyly turned her head to meet the Pillar’s gaze and jumped a bit when her nose unexpectedly brushed against Shinobu’s.
“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” Shinobu repeated barely above a whisper. She was not pulling away.
(Y/n) felt her throat dry and she wished she had just one more swallow of tea left. With a slight quiver in her lips, she responded. Doing her best to stay focused on the purple irises before her.
“Yes,” she answered with a slight nod, careful not to bump head with Shinobu, “it is.”
“(Y/n)?” Shinobu called to her, cupping her face gently with the hand that wasn’t already resting on top of (Y/n)’s.
“Y.. yes?”
“Would you kiss me if I asked?” Shinobu murmured, filling (Y/n)’s senses with a dizzying wisteria scent. The slayer didn’t even try to talk herself out of answering such a query as the thumb of Shinobu’s hand swiped the corner of her lips.
“Yes.” She replied, nearly breathless already and her pupils blown wide.
“(Y/n), please kiss me.”
It was all too easy to lean in when they were already sitting so closely. The hand Shinobu had been using to cup her cheek weaved through the hair at the back of (Y/n)’s head, pulling her closer yet as their lips met a bit clumsily in buzzing, mind numbing bliss. (Y/n)’s free hand, the one not currently being clutched in a near death grip over the wooden floor, found home at the back of Shinobu’s neck, lightly massaging the skin there.
They broke apart a few times but the breaths they took were quick and few. Eventually they rested against each other while their abused lungs burned with a hunger for oxygen.
“I have wanted to do that for longer than I’d like to admit.” Shinobu quietly confessed, twisting a lock of (Y/n)’s hair though her fingers.
“Even when we were fighting?” (Y/n) joked, rubbing the back of Shinobu’s neck with her thumb.
“Strangely enough, yes. There were times when I thought about doing it just to shut you up. Though I didn’t dare allow myself to entertain the thought for long.”
(Y/n) chuckled and leaned in to steal another kiss, much less heated then the last few and much quicker as a chorus of surprised gasps made them pull apart and turn around.
“They kissed! They’re kissing!” Sumi cheered while Aoi tried to quiet her and push her back into the mansion.
Sumi and Kiyo emerged from the doorway that Shinobu had left open when she and (Y/n) first came out into the moonlight and were immediately hounding them for confirmation.
“We missed it! Do it again!” Kiyo pleaded.
“It’s like a fairy tale!” Naho cheered.
“You three!” Aoi grumbled with embarrassment. “Kanao, help me out here!”
Kanao looked between Aoi, the rowdy girls, then her sister and senpai, before settling on a nice golf clap of congratulations. This made Aoi lightly smack herself in the face and completely give up on trying to rein in the younger children.
“My, what are you all doing up I wonder?” Shinobu smiled.
“We wanted to watch the moon too Shinobu-sama! Aoi-san even made tea!” Naho clapped.
“But it’s clear you’re, busy, with something and we should go back inside.” Aoi rushed.
“Nonsense, it’s a lovely night. These things are best experienced with those you care about, don’t you all agree?”
“Yes!” Three excited voices readily agreed before wiggling in between the older girls with light blankets and their tea.
Aoi grumbled a half hearted reminder to be careful with the tea before sitting down beside (Y/n) with her own cup. Kanao took a seat beside Shinobu, lightly kicking her feet over the engawa as she started up silently at the moon.
They stayed up for hours, naming constellations, spotting shooting stars, and listening for the occasional loud croak of a far off frog in the thick of the cicadas and crickets.
Dawn wasn’t too far off when Naho, Sumi and Kiyo fell asleep. (Y/n), Shinobu and Kanao each picked one up and returned them to their rooms. Aoi gathered the discarded cups and helped with the doors before bidding the older girls goodnight, Kanao trailing behind her.
“What a lively night. I’m afraid chores will suffer tomorrow.” Shinobu mused as she walked (Y/n) back to her room.
“We’ll figure it out.” (Y/n) said, shyly brushing her hand against Shinobu’s and smiling when Shinobu laced their fingers together.
Once at (Y/n)’s room Shinobu raised (Y/n)’s hand to her lips with a smirk, planting a kiss on battle worn knuckles.
“This is where I leave you. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Why does that feel too long?” (Y/n) laughed quietly.
“I’m not sure, you’d think after four years of bitter silence a couple of hours would be a walk in the park.” Shinobu chuckled in return.
“I guess we just have a lot of time to make up for, huh?”
“Mm, that is a plausible line of reasoning,” Shinobu hummed, a spark growing in her eyes, “might I trouble you for one more kiss before I retire to my room?”
“I was hoping you’d ask.”
(Y/n) hardly got the words out before Shinobu was on her. Four kisses later and they pulled away with matching grins.
“I’ll see you in my dreams.” Shinobu added one last peck before pulling away.
“As will I.”
Well into the next morning (Y/n) awoke energized and ready to fight the world. She changed into a fresh uniform and pinned her hair with care, straightening the butterfly pin before rushing out of her room to begin her day with the young woman who had gifted it to her.
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giventeez · a year ago
piercings with ateez
a/n: so the title says piercings with ateez but in most of it it's them reacting to your piercings uhh it doesn't make sense but i didn't want to confuse anyone lol and HELLO i'm finally back(again) with something new since it's my first time writing a reaction hehe i hope you enjoy
warning: mention of drinking/alcohol in mingi's part
Hongjoong loves having his ears decorated with pretty compositions of earings on display for everyone to see. But something that he adored much more was when you would give him a pair of this fancy jewerly as a gift on special days so he could wear someething related to you.
Unlike him, you’ve never got your ears pierced. While talking with Hongjoong the other day you said you would like to finally do it so you can have your ears looking pretty like his but was always too busy with other things or simply forget about that.
After finishing his schedule for the day, Hongjoong texted that he will pick you up and take you somewhere. You didn’t ask anything because you thought that he will most likely want to go to some reastaurant since it was near lunch time.
He entered your apartament using his spare key and sat in your living room, assuming that you were still getting ready. When you came out from the bathroom, you found him on your sofa, playing with a little box in his hands. 
“Hi” you announced your presence “why did you walk all the way there? You could just call me and I would have left, you know the elevator's broken” you whined
“I know” he smiled and got up “but I wanted to give you something before we leave” he opened his hand for you to take the box 
“Open it”
Opening the little box, you saw a pair of silver earings shining your way. They didn’t have anything special but you felt touched by the gesture 
“Ah Joong, thank you for the gift, but you know I still haven’t like... pierced my ears, right? It will take some time for me to wear them” you looked up at him apologetically only to find him smiling at you 
“Actually you can wear them much sooner than your think” you had a puzzled expression on your face at this point “What do you mean?” 
“I’m taking you to get yours ears pierced so we can look fabulous with our matching earrings”
You let the last remaining garment on your body slip on the tiled floor of your bathroom, joining the pile of Seonghwa's clothes, who was currently standing over the bathtub checking the water temperature.
With each passing second you felt more anxious about his reaction to your surprise; when he was away working you decided to do something you haven't even mentioned before and go in for nipple piercings
"Okay, I think the water's good. I'll get in first so you-" he turned over and was met with your bare chest, his mouth turning in 'o' shape in span of 0.01 second
He lowered yourself on the level of your chest to precisely see the metal studs in your nipples. After he zoned out for a bit he came back to reality and turned in full mom mode
"Does it hurt? Are you in pain? Don't move too fast so you won't hurt yourself accidentely and-"
"Hey, hey, hey, Hwa look, I'm perfectly fine" you laughed "I got them after you went on tour, so it was a few months ago. Maybe they're not healed in 100% but I feel much better now, you don't have to treat me like a porcelain doll, you know" you said and got on your tip toes to match his height and kissed him
"For sure I'm not complaining" he cringed at the fact how much it must have hurt you at first but found it attractive and hot. He always took good care of you but used this situation to his advantage and babied you more whenever he could
"Please Yunho, I promise it's not as hard as it seems!"
For a quite long time now you were trying to persuade Yunho into braiding your hair. He almost gave in, but lost all his confidence after watching a video which explained how to do braids, afraid he will hurt you, tug your hair or made knots with his slender fingers, and on top of that the video he just saw was kinda complicated
"I'm not sure now.. I still don't get it and I don't want to hurt you or something... " he mumbled, staring at the floor defeated looking like a lost puppy at this point
You sat on his lap and put your hands on his cheek, making him look at you "It's fine, don't beat yourself for something like this. If you want I can show you how I do it.." you stopped the eye contact, kinda sure that he won't want to continue but then he nodded his head energetically, pleased that you didn't give up on him.
You got off of him and situated yourself in front of the mirror in your guys' bedroom so you could see what you were doing, with Yunho beside you.
After dividing your hair in two parts you got into work and started making braids. Yunho sat awfully quiet but you shushed it with that maybe he just didn't want to distract yourself and miss something from your little tutorial.
"And... Done! It was quite easy, isn't it? Do you want to try again? Or maybe you want me to show it once more? " you smiled, satisfied with your final work and turned around to see little smirk displayed on Yunho's face
"But there's something else you didn't show me" he said, his eyes landing on your nape. What show was he putting on? You got confused and put your hand where his stare was boring into and realized what he was talking about.
"Ah, you mean my nape piercing! I thought you saw it already, but I tend to forget I have it since I have my hair down most of the time and I don't see it a lot..Do you like it?" you explained. You thought he already saw it but didn't say anything even when you were dating for quite a long time now.
"Of course I like it! How could I not see it sooner when you look so cool with it?"
You were rumagging through your drawers searching for your pajama top after taking a shower, impatient to join Yeosang who was already in bed. It was his first time staying at your apartament for a night and you didn't want to waste time you could spend together.
You were getting frustrated as it seemed all your tops were dirty in a washing machine since you couldn’t find any. When you were about to give up you found the patterned clothing hiding in the back of your drawer and left a sound of victory.
Meanwhile, Yeosang put his phone down and started observing you to see what this commotion was about. You turned around, holding the shirt to your chest when he suddenly noticed something shiny poking out of your navel. You followed his eyesight and laid your eyes on your lower belly and chuckled.
Since your relationship was still quite fresh you haven't got intimitate with each other yet and he haven't got to see much of your exposed body so you weren't shocked about his reaction at your belly piercing you didn't mention before.
“Oh, my piercing.. I got it back in high school with my friends as a bet, don’t mind it”
By the look on his face at first you thought that he didn’t liked the piercing and had planned to take it out tommorow, but turned out that for the rest of the evening he was holding you close, hands under your shirt so he could play with it
“For sure I will mind it”
San wanted to surprise his fans with Ateez’s nearing comeback and after thinking about what he could try to surprise his fans this time he decided to go for a eyebrow piercing.
He booked an appointment in a studio and wanted you to come with him. You agreed without thinking, wanting to give him as much comfort with your presence as you could. 
When you both arrived at the studio San had to sign some papers and after few minutes a middle aged lady came for him and told to follow her.
When you were about to get up and go with them, you got an idea “I think I’ll wait here” San nodded and kissed your cheek, not asking you about your sudden change of mind. 
After 15 minutes San came into waiting room, now with piercing popping out of his eyebrow, but didn’t saw you there. He took his phone out to see if there was some emergency that made you leave, but there wasn’t any notifaction from you. He simply assumed you went to the restroom and sat on a chair you were sitting not a long ago.
He didn’t have to wait long for you to come out, not from a restroom but a room similar from where he got his piercing from. His vision went black due to you putting your hand over his eyes, but immediately knowing who the owner was.
He gently put your hands down and turned around, laughing at you being silly. Happy expression suddenly changed into a shocked one when he turned out and saw your septum pierced.
For the next couple of days he was looking after you, reminding to take care of your fresh piercing, ignoring that you got it at the same time and were feeling as good as he did.
You, Mingi and his members were supposed to have a calm, relaxing movie night at their dorm but after Wooyoung offered to make some drinks, which later turned into shots, for sure it wasn't calm.
Now you were laying in your bed, and your head was pounding like it got hit with a hammer. Wait, did Mingi got you home last night? He was at least in the same state as you, if not worse. Even when he is taller and larger than you, his alcohol tolerance is worse than yours
You laid like that, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes when your phone went off, the loud sound making you wince in pain.
You answered without checking, knowing no one you didn't know wouldn't call this early.
"Hello-" "Y/N-ah! What happened yesterday and why there's a piercing in my nose" Mingi cried out into the phone
"Yah! Don't shout, it's like 7 in the morning. And what the hell are you talking about, are your eyes not tricking you? I know we were drunk but not to this point where you would not remember if you got your nose pierced or-" you stopped talking after seeing your own refelction in mirror.
"What do you mean 'Are your eyes not tricking you'!? My sight's perfectly fine and there's a freakin metal stud coming out of my nostril!" he was freaked out at this point. He seriously got out of control with drinking this night
"Uh, Mingi, I think your eyes not fooling you because my nose is pierced as well..." you said, confused about your memory loss.
You really got drunk to this point where you didn't remember that you and Mingi got piercings on the way to your apartament. You sobered immediately at this thought
"Oh my God! It's so cool, we even have matching piercings now!~" said Mingi, obviously happy about what happened
(please remember to be always careful of how much alcohol you take because they obviously weren't)
Wooyoung had come to your apartament after finishing his practice late at night. He went straight to your bed and now it was nearing 1PM and it was still for him to wake up yet.
You weren't trying to do things quietly to not disturb his sleep anymore, smell of the food around the apartament didn't budge him, hell, if there was a hurricane he would be laying still.
How else can I wake him up?
You lowered yourself to the level of his neck and started leaving a trail of kisses down to his collarbone and it worked. His nose scrunched when he felt wet sensation on his neck dragged along with something harder and colder, but didn't give it much thought as he opened his eyes to be met with your face right in front of his.
His face lit up as he suddenly remembered how he missed waking up like that, using the proximity between you and put his lips on yours. But he felt the cold feeling he felt earlier against your warm, plush lips again and laid aside to see your face from a different distance.
His stare went straight to your lips and saw that you decided to put in the piercing in your bottom lip you had mentioned before. He only saw you wearing it on some pictures because you weren't allowed to wear it in your job so you didn't bother putting it in everyday.
"You look so cool! And kinda hot too.. But you made me shiver with it so now you have to cuddle with me~"
You were wearing braces since young age and finally got to take them off a few months ago after having them on for the most of your life. After your last visit at orthodontist's you went straight to book an appointment in tattoo & piercing shop to do something you thought about for a long time, which was a smiley piercing
Jongho was rummaging through the dephts of his sport bag in front of your door, searching for keys you gave him when he realized he must’ve forgotten them.
He made a mental note to look for them when he will be at dorms and knocked, not waiting long for the door to open since you were expecting him to come.
You dragged him inside, not even letting him take his jacket and shoes off and basked into the comfort of his embrace you missed so much due to him practicing so much lately.
After a few minutes you took a step back and flashed him a smile, he smiled back but then realized something. Of course, he knew you weren’t wearing braces anymore but he didn’t know about the shiny item above your front tooth.
"You're so cute"
You whined at his reaction "Is that all? I wanted to do this for a long time you know"
He patted your head and said "Of course you look good. It's a nice addition to your pretty smile"
130 notes · View notes
whatifyoulivelikethat · a year ago
bao | myg | 2
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: Min Yoongi is always late to start work. He’s late in starting a lot of things. Like telling you he loves you.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of parental injury/surgery; SO MUCH fluff; non-idol!AU; (slightly more) jealous deliveryboy!Yoongi x hardworking chef!reader ft. bao fiend, next-door neighbor, model!Taehyung who can’t cook to save his life lol
"What's wrong?" Kim Taehyung asked as he bit into his bao. He asked for an extra sweet bun for his manager today. "Is it your dad?" he added, concern laced on his voice. 
"No, not really. He has a checkup tomorrow." You gnawed on your lip as he excitedly chomped into his saucy beef bun. "Hopefully he's recovering well." You rubbed your forehead. Day by day, you could see Yoongi’s black eye healing, but you couldn’t help but worry about him. He had promised not to punch anyone heedlessly, but you doubted he meant it. "Don't get injured, Taehyung."
Taehyung raised his eyebrows. "Why would I get injured?"
"I don't know, but don't. I don't need any more stress," you chuckled dryly, not really amused but unsure exactly how you were feeling. 
Taehyung tilted his head. 
"Are you lonely?"
You raised your head. "Huh?"
"Have you seen your parents in person?"
You blinked. "Well, no. I have to prep, clean, and do errands on my off day. But I video call them often."
Taehyung shrugged. "You used to work at the counter and talk to people all day. Now you're only in the kitchen and the only human beings you see consistently are the delivery guy and I, right? They're all short interactions too." His brown eyes softened, almost parental. "It must be lonely."
You exhaled, feeling the invisible weight of the days’ past. "Maybe..."
Taehyung smiled. "Tell you what. I got a short day this week, so I'll stop by and help out. Just for fun!" He grinned wider now as you paled a bit at the thought. "You don't even have to pay me. I can do stuff!"
"Like what?" you laughed. "You can't cook, Taehyung."
He paused, realizing that was true. "I can clean!"
"You want to clean all day?"
"... I can eat!"
"Min Yoongi, Kim Taehyung."
Taehyung stuck his flour-covered hand out. "Hello! It's nice to meet you."
Yoongi blinked at his hand and gave him a small nod instead. Taehyung seemed to realize it was dirty and wiped his hands on a spare towel before eagerly grabbing Yoongi's hand and shaking it furiously. "I heard you're really dependable, hyung!"
Yoongi raised an eyebrow as his entire body shook with the force of Taehyung's handshake. He turned to your chuckling form rolling dough out into a circle. 
"That's the biggest lie you've ever told."
You smiled as you filled the dough circle with spicy pork. "Not true. You are dependable. Dependably late every morning."
You failed to notice Yoongi's apologetic frown, but Taehyung didn't. The younger man tilted his head, observing Yoongi’s dark eyes watching your hands. You pinched the bun into a neat twist before setting it on the tray.
"Taehyung, that's not a circle," you chided playfully, pointing to the, well, blob on Taehyung's side of the counter. 
Taehyung let go of Yoongi's hand. "I tried!" he whined childishly. "It's hard..."
Yoongi washed his hands clean as you wiped your hands on your apron. "Let me make lunch real quick while there's a break in orders and you two are here." You bumped into Yoongi as you headed to the sink, his wet hands colliding with your chest. 
"Ack, sorry, sorry," Yoongi mumbled, sounding flustered, but you laughed, brushing the water off.
"And that's why I wear my dad's jacket," you mused, referring to the white chef's coat you wore under the apron and over your clothes. 
You washed your hands at the sink, staring at the wide sleeves, remembering the call from earlier. Your father was recovering, but it would still be some time before he could work again and maybe not to his full capacity. Your father had protested, saying he felt fine. He was never one to complain about pain, but you knew he must have been hurting for years. If only he had gotten it checked out sooner. You sighed inwardly, but there was nothing you could do about it now. At the moment, you had to feed the two overgrown kids in your kitchen. 
"Wow, hyung, you're good!"
You turned around to see Yoongi rolling Taehyung's dough into a circle, tongue resting on the side of his lips, getting a bit of flour onto his leather sleeves. 
You walked up behind him to see. Taehyung's dough was heavily over-kneaded, so the circle wasn't great but it was still a circle all the same. You smiled as Yoongi backed up, holding the wooden rolling pin awkwardly. 
"My brother's a chef," he mumbled. "And I've... seen you do it hundreds of times."
You picked up the dough circle and placed it in your palm, cradling it in your hand as you filled it with spicy pork. 
"Is it really spicy?" Taehyung asked worriedly.
You shook your head. "No, you should be fine. I remember you don't like your food too spicy." You pinched the top, twisting it prettily as you held it out to them. Taehyung looked it with sparkly eyes while Yoongi seemed embarrassed, eyes shifting awkwardly from the bun to the counter.
"It took three people to make this," you said with a laugh. “Hopefully it tastes good.”
You cut it in half evenly a few hours later, almost closing time. You held out one half to Taehyung and one half to Yoongi, whose cheeks were flushed from running around outside. He had worked hard all day, and you even had clients calling, complimenting on his speed and efficiency. Taehyung, well, Taehyung had been great company, although not particularly useful. A fun change from your usual lonesome day. 
Steam rose from the meat and white dough, soft and pliable.
The bun warmed your hands and their faces warmed your heart.
“What about you?” Taehyung said, taking one of the halves from you.
You grinned. “Nah, I’ll pass. I don’t want to get poisoned.”
Taehyung narrowed his eyes. “Hey! You made the dough. All I did was roll it into a circle.”
“Actually, I rolled it into a circle,” Yoongi pointed out.
Taehyung fluffed his cheeks. “I rolled it into an almost circle.”
You recalled the shape of the blob with a scrutinous and amused frown. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”
“It’s good.”
You turned your head to see Yoongi chewing. The half-bun was still in your fingers, a bite taken out of it. Had he… eaten it from your hand? You stared at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. His long fingers reached out and gripped the half, fingertips brushing against yours. He was still chewing, nodding thoughtfully.
“Not too spicy either.”
Your hand was still in the air. You quickly put it down and turned your attention to Taehyung, who took a huge bite.
“Ah! Hot!”
You laughed, fanning the space around his mouth. “Of course, it is. I just steamed it.”
Taehyung’s jaw wiggled as he tried to blow the steam off his tongue, panicked noises coming from his throat as you grabbed a water bottle and opened it for him so he could cool it off with a gulp of cool liquid.
“Ah, what am I going to do with you, Taehyung…”
You counted out Yoongi’s pay from the day’s total, calculating quickly. This was the easiest part of the day for you. Math came to you naturally. Cooking was much harder, at least when it came to cooking even half as good as your father.
“Do you like Taehyung?”
You had sent Taehyung home with bags full of buns to give to his parents. He had left with a skip in his step and a huge boxy grin, thanking you repeatedly and almost dropping everything. You had to yell at him to be careful at least three times.
“Of course, Taehyung’s my friend,” you chuckled. “He can be a bit all over the place though.”
“I meant in a more than friends kind of way.”
You stopped and looked up from you calculator. Yoongi was leaning over the counter, one arm perched on it, black leather jacket open and revealing his black-and-white patterned dress shirt. You noticed the first couple buttons were undone. Silver chains hung around his neck, decorating his collarbones. His long fingers tapped on the wood, silver rings glinting against his pale skin.
“Taehyung?” You shrugged. “Not really. Never thought of him that way.”
Yoongi gave you a long, discerning look. His dark brown eyes searched yours, hooded by his black bangs. It was making you uncomfortable. Suddenly, you could feel the flecks of flour on your cheeks, the scent of oil and cooked meat hanging from your clothes and hair. You went back to the calculations, busying yourself with bookkeeping.
This silence was weird. Usually, Yoongi was wordlessly waiting for you to finish so he could leave, but for some reason today it felt bizarre. You furrowed your brow as you recorded the day’s sales and Yoongi’s pay, subtracting it from the total.
“That’s good, because I like you in a more than friends kind of way.”
You placed Yoongi’s pay in an envelope and held it out to him. “Here you go. I added a little bonus for helping me babysit Taehyung today.”
Your gaze locked with Yoongi’s.
Then his words really hit you.
You blinked at him and his completely neutral expression. He wasn’t taking the envelope. Instead, he tilted his head, stare penetrating through your soul. Your heartbeat was suddenly in your ears. It felt like your face was right next to the stove, flushed from the fire.
“W… what?”
Yoongi nodded as if this was the expected result. “I figured I should tell you before Taehyung attempts to run off with you.”
You blinked rapidly, the heat increasing on your face. “W… what are you talking about?” you nervously laughed, placing the envelope in the counter and sliding it to him. You shook your head, trying to dissipate the heat. “You’ve gone too far with your jokes.”
Yoongi placed a hand on the envelope.
Then he lifted himself up and over the counter, launching his entire body over it.
You started, pinning yourself back into the wall, eyes widening as his black, thick-soled boots hit the tile floor. He was wearing black jeans again, the ones with a rip on the right knee. He lifted his head, making eye contact with you once again.
“It’s not a joke.”
He looked over to the recordkeeping book and closed it for you. Took the wad of cash that was the day’s sales and tied it in a rubber band, the same way you did it every night. Placed your pen where you placed it every night, next to the pen cup and not actually in it. You watched him, somewhat fascinated that he remembered all these details despite you never thinking about your habits as you did them, either in mid-conversation with him or simply worn out from the day.
Yoongi placed the cash on the recordkeeping book and turned back to face you.
“I’m serious.”
You remembered the moments that you brushed off so easily before. Yoongi’s body hitting yours when you grabbed his cap, the way he felt pushed up against you, breath on your neck. His fingertips touching yours, making you flinch involuntarily. Him eating from your hand earlier that day. The weird silence just now when he asked you if you liked Taehyung.
Your eyes shifted uneasily.
“Well… what I supposed to say?” you asked quietly.
For a long moment, Yoongi didn’t respond. Then he smiled, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.
He turned around.
But before he could walk off, before Yoongi could leave and come back in the morning, late as usual, you grabbed his leather jacket and yanked him back, spinning him back around. His lips parted, startled at your sudden movement, and you pressed your lips to his. His eyes widened.
So did yours.
The scent of leather and pine hit your nose. His lips felt soft. He tasted a little like the spicy pork you fed him earlier. It was a nearly a week after the black eye incident and it was barely noticeable anymore, with only small hints of bruising on his pale skin. He healed fast. You quickly drew back and grabbed the envelope, shoving it at him and pushing past, stunned that you did such a thing, hurriedly running to the kitchen. Or would have, if Yoongi’s arm didn’t block your exit, making you jerk back and hit him in the chest.
Now both your hands were on his black and white dress shirt, holding his pay against him.
You couldn’t look Yoongi in in the face. It was too awkward. You just stared at his neck, at the glittering silver necklaces.
“I have eyes, you know.”
You swallowed, grabbing his hand and placing it on the envelope. His fingers wrapped around yours. His other hand came up, tracing the buttons of his dress shirt. You flinched, jerking your head up as your free hand covered the one on his button placket. His silver rings felt cool against your hot palm.
“What are you doing?”
Yoongi cocked his head. You never realized how raspy and sexy his voice was until now. ‘Well, you didn’t want to look at my face, so I figured I would give you something else to look at.”
Your eyes darted from his hand to his face, flabbergasted.
“Don’t… play around,” you muttered, frowning.
Yoongi leaned down.
“I’m not.”
And now he kissed you, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against yours, sweetly but firmly, inhaling. You tried to break away, words tumbling from your lips.
“I’ve been working all day; I reek of grease,” you sputtered, but Yoongi grabbed your head and kissed you again, pressing your body against his, dusting flour onto the black leather, your body shuddering at the closeness, falling into his arms. Lips so soft they felt like pillows, not something you expected from lazy, late Yoongi.
“You smell nice,” he chuckled against your lips. “I love food. I especially love all the food you make.”
He kissed you between his words, light, feathery kisses that made you breathless.
“I should have told you every day,” Yoongi murmured. “Thank you for always packing everything so well and making my job so easy. Thank you for always making food for me and giving me the extras. Thank you for not firing me.”
You laughed a little against his lips. “You would have been fired a long time ago if you worked anywhere else.”
He kissed your forehead, a long, delicate one, far too beautiful to not be romantic. You felt your heartbeat slow to a crawl.
“I don’t want to work anywhere else,” he mumbled, so low you could barely hear him even though you were this close. “I want to stay by your side forever.”
What was this? Your hands tensed under his and he tightened his grip around your fingers.
“A little sudden for simply getting free food from your job,” you teased.
Yoongi lifted his face from your forehead, removing your hands from his chest. He turned them around, palms up, pressing his thumbs into them. Smiled down at you.
“It’s not free,” he said softly. “These hands work hard every day.”
Yoongi looked deep into your eyes.
“I never think the food you give me is free, because I see how much effort it takes to make them as delicious as they are.”
Your vision felt a little blurry for some reason.
“You should bring some to your parents. Your father would be proud of you.”
And for some reason, those words meant more to you than anything in the world.
“Is this vegetarian?” Yoongi asked curiously as he chewed.
He frowned a little. “I don’t like vegetables.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What are you, five?”
His eyes narrowed. “I was going to say, but I like this.”
You felt your ears burn. “Oh.”
Yoongi smirked, leaning over to kiss you, smelling like leather, silver rings glimmering in the kitchen lights.
3. smut.
136 notes · View notes
cotccotc · a year ago
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♡ 10:56 am ; safe space
set in the domus amoris universe !
genre/s: comfort, angst > fluff, established relationship au, hyunjin x gn reader
wc: ~2.6k
warnings: non-sexual nudity (mc, not hyunjin; vague descriptions of body parts), anxious/depressed/self-deprecating thoughts, in-depth description of a panic attack, mc has hair that’s long enough to brush
a/n: this one’s based on a suggestion by the lovely @crscendoforsung​ !! i wanted to make it a bit angsty for ya since,,,, i Know You :) it’s also a pretty exact account of an experience i had as well so.. that’s fun... lol. if you ever have a suggestion for the series feel free to check out the suggestion box !!
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there are always going to be times where nothing seems to be going your way. sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes years… and it’s hard opening up about those things. those things that eat away at your psyche until it seems as though there’s little to nothing left; the things you never say out loud for fear they might manifest themselves; the things you even dread telling the man you love for fear of worrying him. it’s times like these where you don’t want to be heard or seen, but rather to curl up into a ball and let everything you need to out of your system. it creeps up on you. right now, as beads of hot water pierce your back and your face rests in your trembling hands, you’re reminded of this feeling. it plagues your body, haunts your thoughts… and honestly, you’re not sure how it happened. but you know that if hyunjin sees or hears you, he’ll take on your troubles as if they’re his own. so you stay quiet.
you’re honestly just confused. angry at yourself. frustrated. you’d caught yourself staring into space again. it happens every so often, but each time it does you get more and more fed up with your lack of self control. your dazed, dissociated mind will get the best of you at times. it can get to the point where, like today, you can be in the middle of a simple, everyday task - taking a shower, brushing your teeth, sometimes even doing work - and you’d just be stripped of your attention span. and, it can last for as short or as long a period of time as it so chooses. it makes you feel like you’re out of control of your own body; as if the vessel in which your spirit is contained is caving from the outside in, crushing your spirit in the process.
heart racing against your thoughts, shallow breaths rising and falling at a staggering pace, fingers trembling as you fold your hands together and squeeze them closer in a weak attempt to make it all go away. you begin to wonder why you’re like this. how you can go from applying shampoo to your hair to feeling the water grow lukewarm as your mind wanders into oblivion. oftentimes, you blame yourself, citing a simple lack of intelligence for the way your head takes over like this. you don’t even know when it began. prior to moving in with hyunjin, of course, but… were you always like this? was this always how your brain decided to occupy itself? have you always been so spacey… so vacant, so stupid? why are you like this? why are you so broken? why won’t it all just slow down or stop? why don’t you just-
whoa. where did that come from?
these thoughts strike you, almost as if you’ve been slapped in the face. your cheeks heat up as a stinging sensation overtakes your eyes. tears. droplets of disparity, dripping down the drain. what feels like a chill courses through your body, making your bones shake and joints buckle. seeing stars, your knees give out, sending you to the porcelain floor of the bathtub. you sit with your legs folded, leaning over with your face in your hands. heaving breaths, hot tears, piercing beads of water shooting out from the showerhead to the sensitive skin on your back. shaking, shuttering, ashamed. especially since you’ve given up trying to stay silent.
you hear the bathroom door creak open. shit. but just like any other instance, you can’t seem to stop convulsing nor crying.
“baby…?” you hear hyunjin’s soft, youthful voice calling to you over the running water. “baby, are you okay?” he must’ve heard you fall.
you try to catch your breath. and, of course, you fail. just like you failed to pay attention to the task at hand, failed to conceal the breathy sobs over which your lover must now worry… you’re choking on your own futility. “no,” you whisper, your face still contorting in your hands.
before you can object, a hand reaches into the shower and shuts the water off before hastily pushing the shower curtain to the side. now, more than ever, you’re hyperaware of the volume at which you’ve been sobbing. the chill of the air rises over your naked form but is quelled by hyunjin’s warm hand against your back. he’s taken a seat next to the tub, a look of concern and shock spread across his face. you can’t even look at him. you can’t bear the fact that he can see you right now. your physical bareness doesn’t even concern you. it’s the emotional nakedness that sends you deeper into your descent.
but oh, what it’s doing to hyunjin.
he feels so helpless. so terrible. so guilty. he doesn’t even know what happened, and yet his only wish is to be able to go back and stop it from happening. guilt, responsibility, fear... it’s enough to force a tear from his own eye, as well. “what’s wrong,” he whispers, his voice trembling as his face tightens and lips quiver. you can’t help but let out another bout of choked sobs and convulsions. he leans into the tub, gently pulling your wet hair out of your face and draping his arm across your bare back. he presses a kiss to your spine, then rests his cheek against you. as more teardrops emerge from his eyes, he strokes your hair. “breathe,” he murmurs. under his breath, closing his eyes, he adds, “please, breathe.”
mind you, this isn’t the first time he’s seen you like this. maybe not in the same circumstances, but you’ve had similar episodes while out in public, while doing work, or even while trying to fall asleep. however, when he’s around, he’s able to help calm you down before things get this extreme. many times, his prolonged embrace alone is enough to drag you out of your daze and back to reality. but every time he holds you close enough to feel your heart fervently pulsing within your chest, his pangs for you. whenever your heartbeats are not aligned, he wants nothing more than to trade. 
you do as he says. you try to concentrate on your breathing. though your mind is still fuzzy, you rely on your senses. with the aid of hyunjin’s caresses and directions, you’re able to begin breathing at a semi-regular pace. though a stutter remains in your breathing pattern, everything seems to have slowed. he lifts himself from you, leaning toward your face to get a better look at you, regardless of the agony your aching expression puts him through. “you did so well,” he mutters. you sit up, wrapping your arms around yourself as the air hits your wet skin. “here,” he says, quickly rising to grab a towel from the metal rack on the wall. wrapping it around you, he holds onto your arms as you use the side of the tub to lift yourself up to a standing position. he helps you step out of the tub and onto the floor. despite the humidity of the confined room, the tile beneath your feet is chilling.
you sniffle, wiping your face with your hands. he takes two fistfuls of the towel and replaces your hands, patting your face dry. that’s when you notice he’d been crying too. you look into his pink tinted eyes with an overwhelming twinge of guilt. “i’m-” you croak. but he knows what you’re going to say.
“don’t be sorry,” he interjects, looking deeply into your eyes and cupping your face in his hands. “please?” you nod, averting your eyes from him. he makes you so happy. so comfortable. so at home. and yet, you feel so embarrassed. he’s seen you like this before. but the feeling never seems to lift. he licks his lips, placing a kiss against your cheek before travelling across your jaw and down to your neck. then, he begins patting you dry with the towel, gently brushing over your skin with the cotton fabric.
you’re so grateful for him. he shouldn’t have to do this for you. he shouldn’t have to care for you as if you’re a child; you should be able to do basic tasks. it’s all you can think about as he travels down your body, blotting the water off of you. so much so that it brings back the wetness in your eyes. you think you’re undeserving. you think you’re hopeless.
he stands back up, getting ready to towel dry your hair. that is, until he sees the single tear dripping down your cheek. his stomach drops. he wonders if his efforts aren’t enough. he wonders if he deserves to be the one who takes care of you. if he can’t do that, what can he do? at least that’s what he’s made himself believe.
so much unspoken.
“love, what’s wrong?” he asks, tilting your chin toward him with his thumb and forefinger.
“i…” you start. you don’t even know where to begin.
you glance away, eyes flicking to the clothes you’d picked out to wear after you showered - the main component being one of his t-shirts. he follows your eyes, hastily setting the towel down and grabbing the garments. “let’s put these on. i’ll help you.” you nod, sniffling. he gives you a bittersweet smile, crouching down to help you step into your underwear. once your undergarments and shorts are on, he picks up the t-shirt and smiles to himself. he didn’t quite recognize it as his own before. it’s a mixed feeling. he helps you into the shirt, his warm fingertips pressing against your waist as the fabric settles atop your form. his thumbs rub back and forth against the material. it’s a small gesture, but it’s soothing.
you shakily place a hand against his chest. “thank you,” you mumble, your voice still small and strained.
he gives you a half-smile before taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss onto your knuckles. you know he’s trying his best. and he knows you are too. that’s why he doesn’t prod. instead, he grabs the towel from the counter and a hairbrush with his other hand. “come on,” he says, leading you out of the bathroom and into your shared bedroom. he takes a seat on the bed, his back resting on the headboard. he taps a hand to his thigh. you climb onto the bed, then onto his lap, facing him. “close your eyes, baby.” and so, you do as instructed. his efforts are beginning to elicit more endearment than guilt out of you. it’s dawning on you that he’s enjoying the surface level elements of taking care of you just as much as you’ve relished in receiving them. he wraps the towel around the back of you, placing it atop your wet head. as he massages your scalp with the towel, rubbing and compressing your dripping locks, you hum in relief. it feels so warm. he makes you feel so warm.
you take a deep breath. he smiles at you, even though you can’t see it. he thinks you’re adorable. and he’s relieved you can breathe again.
after he’s done drying your hair, he tosses the wet towel down onto the floor beside the bed and grabs the brush. placing his other hand on your waist, he says, “tell me if it hurts. if i’m hurting you, i’ll stop.”
opening your eyes, you let out a small giggle. “you could never hurt me,” you reply. and, it’s true. he never has, and he never will. you pinky swore on it a long, long time ago.
a breath escapes his nose as his smile grows wider. “ok.” he tilts your head to the side. ever so gently, he begins brushing through your still-damp hair, carefully and slowly untangling any knots. eventually, he turns your head to the other side so he can reach more of you. once your hair has been fully detangled, he places the brush down on the bedside table in favor of wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. “all done.” you encase his neck in your arms, resting your head against his shoulder. the pads of his fingertips roam all over the expanse of your back, lulling you into a relaxed state of mind.
“thank you,” you whisper into his neck.
“you don’t need to thank me.”
“yes i do,” you respond, sitting upright. “you shouldn’t have to do all of this for me. but you did. but you do.”
he cuts you off slightly, hands passionately gripping onto your hips. “i do this because i want to. we take care of each other. you would do the same for me.”
you roll your eyes. not because you’re angry or annoyed, but because what he said is true. you would do the same for him, any time. but that’s because he deserves it. why do you? “yeah, but…” you trail off, eyes drifting to the side as that familiar tingling arises in your face. your lip trembles, signalling to hyunjin that, once again, his efforts were ineffective.
“baby, what’s wrong?” he whispers, placing a hand on your cheek to draw your face back to center. you look at him, your brow furrowed and a tear escaping your eye, reaching up to hold his hand as he strokes your cheekbone with his thumb. he wipes the salty remnants of your pain off of your skin, though the sentiment remains.
you climb off of his lap. he lifts the covers and blankets so the two of you can slip inside. laying down and facing him, you let out a deep sigh.
“it’s just… it happened again,” you say. he pulls the covers over your bodies and shifts closer toward you.
he tucks your freshly brushed hair behind your ear before placing his hand upon your side. “mhm.”
“and i couldn’t concentrate on anything else. i forgot where i was, and what i was doing…” you sniffle. you don’t want to send yourself back into such an emotional state, but you want to help him understand how you’re feeling. so, you do your best to explain. everything. everything from zoning out to your body becoming fragile, and even to the feeling of worthlessness that accompanies it all.
he comes close to crying again, but he pulls himself together for your sake. he doesn’t want you to feel guilty for feeling. instead, he pulls himself closer to you and presses a kiss upon your cheek. “i’m proud of you, you know,” he says before kissing your face again.
“why?” you ask, chuckling with a slight smile spread across your lips.
“because!” he objects. he tickles your side, prompting your smile to widen and laughter to continue. “you were brave enough to tell me.”
“i thought i was a baby,” you tease. you playfully grab his hands off of you… but you know you won’t get too far.
“you’re not a baby.” he climbs on top of you, pinning your arms above your head and placing a trail of kisses along your cheek and neck. then, with his hands traveling back to your sides to tickle you some more, his voice deepens. “but you’re my baby.” you can’t help but giggle, bombarded with kisses and blushing from the contact. your reaction only eggs him on. he smiles into the crook of your neck before leaving a series of kisses against it, tickling you all the while. 
sure enough, you’ve forgotten all about what had happened just an hour ago. it’s as if nothing occurred at all. not because you’re distracted, not because you’ve dismissed it, but rather because you felt comfortable enough with your lover to share your deepest, most vulnerable inner turmoil. and he received you with open arms, an even more accepting heart, and a trail of sloppily laid kisses that’ll leave a swarm of butterflies aflutter in your stomach for days to come.
he succeeded, finally. and the both of you couldn’t be more pleased.
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another note: if you’ve experienced something similar to this, please know you’re far from alone, and i’m always here if you need someone to talk to. i hope this can comfort you in some way. love u ♡
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©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
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dinopopduck · a year ago
Ezekiel Only Being Unaffected By Certain Kinds of Magic
Let’s just start with me saying this isn’t exactly a new theory. It’s the demigod thing, and it’s a fairly popular one. If you haven’t heard of this headcannon, I put as much as I can find here. If you have, I found a bunch of new stuff that I haven’t seen anyone else mention, so reading this isn’t a complete waste of your time, I hope.
I tried to keep this from becoming wordy, but it got really long anyway, because there was a lot to talk about here.
Ezekiel being unaffected by magic is sort of an ongoing thing in the show. He is influenced by it much of the time, such as by Santa’s Hat, Pan’s Flute, Prospero’s spell, lycanthropy, etc. When it comes to the stuff he was seemingly completely immune to, there is one link that connects them all.
Apple of Discord: Everybody knows this one. The Apple is a Greek artifact, meant to turn you into the worst version of yourself, and Ezekiel was only one completely unaffected. It’s blamed on “he’s already the worst version of himself” or whatever.
Zeus Lightning Bolt: the episode where Ezekiel ends up decked out in Greek armor, and is sent to pick up Zeus’ Lightning Bolt, which was freaking out and zapping everywhere. He picks it up just fine, and he’s then able to hand it off to Flynn. It may have been purely because of the Greek armor he was wearing, but Flynn did not seem so sure about that working.
Cindy’s Love Potion: Ezekiel is able to be near the potion without becoming obsessed with Cindy. At first, it’s blamed on him being obsessed with himself, then later Jacob tells Ezekiel that he was already in love with Cindy. It was an obsession, not a love, potion you literally spent the episode proving that blah blah, he didn’t even recognize her at first blah blah, anyway, I have a better reason.
There are two Greek mentions in this episode. First, the potion project itself is called Project Aphrodite, a Greek goddess. Second, the sunflowers; when asked, Jenkins mentions how sunflowers are a Greek symbol of unrequited love. In addition, “love” potions may have originated in Greece, or at the very least, were common enough to have multiple sites claim that, lol. At the end of the season, where each librarian uses their gifts to turn Apep mortal, this greek potion is what Ezekiel ends up using.
See a pattern here? Everything that he was completely unaffected by was Greek in some way. So, he has an immunity to these kinds of artifacts, but why? I vote demigod.
Anyway, moving on.
Here’s some magic he could have been immune to, or could not have been. Its pretty debatable.
Fortuna: Technically a Roman Goddess, but the show does acknowledge how similar they are to Greek Gods. He may have been affected by the spell, but broke out of it pretty quick. Some think he may not been affected at all; slot machines aren’t exactly fair, especially in a casino that exists to cheat completely. As for Ezekiel getting so upset over losing, what he says, “Not the guy that loses, I’m the guy that wins” sounds very similar to what he was saying in Point of Salvation, but that’s a whole nother topic.
Alternately, he was affected and this point shouldn’t be here. I don’t know, I’m not the writers.
Libris Fabula: He was a little bit affected, just far less than the others, as he acted pretty much the same. He did get a barely noticeable clothing change, became luckier than normal, and was just able to cast a spell for some reason? Speaking out that spell, it froze the guy, and a certain Greek God does have the ability to put people to sleep. Not really the same thing, but worth thinking about. Maybe. More on that later.
Most people think he was immune, but he could have just been similar enough to the character he was portraying that he didn’t need to change a whole lot.
These ones are barely worth mentioning, because have other reasonable (though I guess your definition of reasonable may be different from mine) explanations, but you could see them as magic immunity as well:
Silver Screen: Ezekiel gets into character the least, while Cassandra and Jacob are out singing and calling people by their character names. Maybe less affected, maybe just a spoilsport. Probably the last one.
Point of Salvation: Was the only one able to remember previous loops. Since they were in a video game, it’s explained that since he was the first through the door, he became the player while everyone else became NPCs. I mean, sure.
Christmas Thief: Saint of Thieves only used his truth telly power on Ezekiel’s mother, not him. Ezekiel did not feel obligated to say anything. Could just be that the guy wasn’t talking to Ezekiel. Or, earlier in that episode Ezekiel tells his mother he doesn’t steal anymore (at least for anything other than the Library, I assume, cause he still kinda does) and therefor that made him immune to the spell, since it only works on thieves.
Image of an Image: Both Cassandra and Ezekiel got their pictures taken, and Cassandra was the only one affected by the transfer spell. However, Ezekiel wasn’t one of the “chosen ones” because he snuck in, and jumped in front of the camera while Eve (one of the “chosen ones”, who was later able to be affected) turned away. Either that, or he just didn’t have time to feel the effect, since his picture was taken after Cassandra’s, and Eve’s was placed in manually.
That’s all the possible instances of magic immunity I could think of.
Next, we have some other stuff that is relevant to this point, but wasn’t necessarily artifact/magic immunity.
Prophecy Cube: Created by the Oracle of Delphi, who is from Greek mythology. This isn’t about whether Ezekiel was affected by something, as he was still able to use the prophecy glass/get stuck in the cube. Rather, it’s about the Zeus Challenge in the cube. They probably would have died in there, but luckily, Ezekiel had just happened to steal, and keep on him, the exact thing they needed to get through– a bunch of golden coins, and a prophecy that ensures at least one coin can’t be destroyed. Luck? Prophecy? Divine Intervention? Plot convenience? Okay its probably the last one but STILL
Also, Ezekiel getting pissed at Zeus.
Zeus’s Bolt (again?): There is a promo image I think for season 4? that has each of the Librarians holding their tools. Jacob had his axe, Cassandra had a notebook, Flynn had Excalibur, all normal, except for Eve and Ezekiel. Eve had this big staff thing I didn’t recognize, and Ezekiel had Zeus’ Bolt for some reason?
Lightning, just, in general: If there is wild electricity in an episode, Ezekiel is probably around.
City of Light: Gets shocked and knocked backwards into Jacob by a very electrified fence, gets up right afterwards and is fine.
Broken Staff: The Zeus Bolt thing, you get it.
Image of an Image: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob. Jacob was not really fine. He lived, though.
Point of Salvation: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob part 2 Electric Boogaloo, but this time on purpose. He was not fine. He died. But don’t worry, he lived.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Mentioned a little bit above, Ezekiel, Jacob, and a student get stuck in the Zeus Challenge, and Ezekiel uses some coins he just so happened to steal recently. Throwing them on tiles shows whether or not lightning will strike if it was stepped on. Seriously, why is it ALWAYS Jacob?
The Dark Secret: Ezekiel is the one sent to wrap a cord around a lightning rod constantly being struck by lighting. “Why am I bloody doing this”, he asks? I mean, Zeus probably isn’t going to kill his descendent(?), right?
Werewolves: Have you heard of the Lycaon of Arcadia? It’s a Greek myth. Basically, this dude named Lycaon wants to test how smart and all-knowing Zeus is. To do so, he kills his own son, cooks him, and serves him to Zeus to see if he notices, ya know, no biggie. Zeus was like “wtf man” and brings the son back to life, and turns Lycaon into, you guessed it, a wolf. So, Zeus creates a werewolf of sorts, maybe one of the firsts. In Fangs of Death, Ezekiel just so happens to be the one (main) character to be turned into werewolf. So, if he was a descendant of Zeus, imagine how big of a “fuck you” that was to the god. That all being said, Ezekiel was turned by an Egyptian god, so that might not have been intentional. Also, they may have just been avoiding turning Jacob, because there is already a werewolf named Jacob and they didn't want another Twilight reference in that episode.
Family/Name: Ezekiel is adopted, and his adoptive mother mentions how she took him in off the streets. Because of that, we don’t know who his birth parents are, and whether or not he, or anyone else, knows is unknown. Soooo, we can take some creative liberties as to who his parents might have been.
As for his name, it carries some religious connotations. It should be remembered though, the meanings I’m talking about here are Biblical, not Greek, so again, might mean nothing for this argument. “Ezekiel” is “God’s Strength” or “God will Strengthen”. Jones might also be something like “God is gracious” or “God has favored”, thought different sites say different things. However, I’m pretty sure the name Jones came from his adoptive mother, and apparently Jones is a common last name in Australia. His first name is more relevant, because all of his siblings have themed names; Mercy, Charity, and Honor. So, either his mom named him differently because she knew something we don’t, or he already had the name before she adopted him. Either way, this probably means absolutely nothing. But what are we here for? To analyze a dead show like an English teacher analyzes the color of curtains in an 100 year old text. If it wasn’t for all the other stuff, I probably wouldn’t think about this too much.
Okay. So Greek stuff, lightning, and Zeus himself come up a LOT when it comes to this guy. So is Ezekiel the son of Zeus? Possibly, but a more popular theory is that he’s Zeus’ grandson. Because Zeus’ son just so happens to be Hermes; god of things such as luck, travel, money, trade, and most importantly, thieves. Oh, and animal husbandry/shepherds and sleep, I don’t know how much those apply but I will try.
Time for some comparisons, honestly most of these don’t even need to be explained so I’ll keep it short-ish, cause this shit has gotten way too long already.
Luck: Ezekiel, especially in the first season, likes to rely on luck, and tends to be very lucky in general. Examples where this is mentioned include Fables of Doom and Apple of Discord. “Smarter to be lucky then lucky to be smart!”
Travel: We can assume that he ended up traveling in his previous job (that being heists all over the world) fairly often, even before the Library. Becoming a Librarian with a teleporting door increased that of course.
Money: Steals very high-value items to sell. Also apparently likes to take money from his coworker’s wallets. And probably everyone else’s.
Trade: The aforementioned high-value pieces he steals are traded/sold for money. In Christmas Thief, we find out he kept none of the money or items, giving it away to others who needed it. That kinda fits this category, I think.
Thieves: I really don’t need to explain this. Unless you haven’t seen the show.
Animal Husbandry/Shepherds?: Basically the care of animals. Um, well he doesn’t keep cows or anything, but he has a tendency to “adopt” magical creatures that need help. Stumpy, Nessie Jr., maybe Frankenstein’s Monster as well?
Sleep: I mentioned earlier how Ezekiel froze a guy (not really in an icy way, just couldn’t move) by hitting him with his coin. Hermes is able to send people to sleep with his Caduceus (the snake wand thing). Yeah, it’s not really the same thing, though you could consider being frozen a kind of sleep. He could have just been lucky enough to find a magical coin, and lucky enough to figure out how to use it at the exact right time without even knowing what it did. It’s a stretch either way, really, and was never explained in the episode at all. Yeah, I can't find anything else that fits.
Hermes is considered to be a thief and trickster, and a lot of the things he is god of are Ezekiel’s main occupations. With all those similarities to Hermes, frequent events related to lightning and Zeus related things, and immunity to Greek artifacts, we can conclude that he is perhaps the son of Hermes, taking after his father in abilities and getting visits from grandpa.
Alternatively, his somehow IS Hermes, but I doubt that. He’d probably be way more powerful. He was also able to see the future with Prophecy Glass, which Jenkins claims is impossible for immortals to do (although in that case he was talking about a Prophecy Cube, but close enough). It’s more likely that he is a demigod.
Okay, that is all I can think of that is relevant. I binged the series about two months ago, and have been thinking about this theory. I went ahead and re-watched the episodes that I mentioned in more detail, as well as parts of others that I remebered. The reason I bring this up is because I may have missed things. I did not rewatch a majority of the episodes, more that I looked at a list of episodes on wikipedia and tried to remember what happened in them, watching clips and episodes if I needed to.
The show was cancelled, so we’ll probably never get a confirmation as to who Ezekiels’ birth parents were, and as such, you can’t prove me wrong! That being said, if I got any facts incorrect in this, please tell me so I can fix it. I’m not well versed on Greek Mythology, in fact I know basically nothing, and did the research as I went along. So again, there could be more. This is just what I found in like, less than a day of searching.
Join me next time on “How is Cassandra magical, where’d she get it from? Also, were we ever gonna meet her parents?” And “In the first episode of season 3, Jacob is just able to hit a heavy punching bag of its chain, across the room, at bullet speed, just because of a shift of his wrist, and later in that episode do the same thing to Apep, and it’s just…never addressed or spoken about again? Like wtf man?”
I'm probably not doing that
If you managed to get through all of this, thank you, and I hope this wasn’t too painful to read.
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angstyaches · a year ago
This is trope anon from before :) It might be interesting to see Elliot put off feeling sick, because he is so caught up taking care of everyone else? He kind of strikes me as a worry about everyone else first kind of guy lol. Then absolutely regretting it later haha
If not Elliot, Ryan also kind of gives me similar vibes
CW: mention of disordered eating/malnourishment, trauma mention, overwork, nausea, emeto, dizziness, blood mention (he’s a vamp, so yeah), pining (for absent partner), platonic/brotherly caretaking
Author’s note: Elliott and Felix are going to be just FINE! They’re not even broken up; Felix is just a little AWOL after a fight they had. I just loooove me some angst.
Elliott’s vision went pitch black for a moment as he stood and waited for the kettle to finish boiling. His stomach lurched so harshly that he almost turned towards the sink, expecting the return of the blood he’d drank for breakfast. Instead, he swallowed, closed his eyes, and breathed in slowly through his nose. He was overexerted, probably. He’d been pushing himself during his and Shayne’s ritualistic “sparring” (or, as Shayne called it, “trying to kick the shit out of each other” or “therapy”) session. Elliott had hoped his supernatural abilities would have begun to manifest by now, seeing as his transition to full vampire was complete. But still, nothing yet. Maybe the stress of Felix being gone was stunting his development. Maybe the stress was adding to how bad he felt.
The kettle clicked, reminding him of why he was standing in the kitchen in the first place. Elliott’s heart sank as he recalled Shayne’s eyes rolling back in his head, his body almost hitting the ground before Elliott could catch him. Turned out the kid had been starving himself again. Elliott would have punched his lights out if they hadn’t already basically been out.
A minute later, Elliott picked up a hot mug and crossed the open-plan kitchen and living area to where he’d left Shayne on the white sofa. He was conscious now, at least, but his eyes were glazed and unfocused.
The mug contained hot, weak tea and a few spoons of the glucose solution Ryan had concocted for Felix’s blood-and-sugar lollipops. Back in the day, when Felix refused blood and couldn’t hold food down, Ryan had fed him the solution like this, and it had kept him from passing out. The smell was so strong that Elliott almost gagged, his body so delicate as to protest merely being in the presence of human sustenance.
Elliott tried to hand Shayne the mug, but his cousin’s hands were so shaky he almost dropped it immediately. Elliott took it back, trying to ignore the fact that his own hands weren’t exactly the steadiest. He brought the rim of the mug to Shayne’s lips.
Shayne made a face and pulled away as soon as he took the first sip. His hand went to his mouth, like he was considering spitting it back out.
“Swallow it.”
A shiver seemed to roll through Shayne’s body as he did. His eyes watered like he was about to cry. “That tastes like shit, El.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for forgetting that you need to eat.”
“I didn’t forget I needed to…” Shayne mumbled. “I’m not stupid.”
“That’s extremely debatable. Drink.”
“I’m gonna be sick.”
“Drink,” Elliott said again, as calmly as he could, “or I’m going to get Ryan.”
The last of the fight went out of Shayne’s eyes. Elliott knew he didn’t want Ryan or Nancy to know things had gotten this bad again.
Victorious but not feeling it, Elliott brought the mug to Shayne’s lips again and again, letting him take small sips. At one point, he covered his mouth again, shoulders jerking forward as he gagged slightly. Elliott’s stomach flipped at the sound and he had to turn his face away until Shayne stopped. He didn’t usually puke from seeing somebody else do it, but he had a bad feeling that if Shayne threw up, he would lose it too.
Shayne shook his head when presented with the mug again. A tentative hand rested on his stomach. “I can’t, El. It’s so heavy.”
Part of Elliott didn’t want to yield so easily, wanted to make him finish the mug. He wondered what Felix would do, or how Charlie would have reacted to that pleading look. Elliott knew he wasn’t soft in the same way they were. He just hoped he wasn’t harsh.
He hoped he wasn’t frightening.
He swallowed against a swell of nausea in his belly. Whatever was gnawing at the pit of his stomach weakened his resolve.
“Okay,” he said, “lie down.”
Shayne gave a small sigh of relief.
Elliott took the mug back to the sink. White floor and wall tiles swayed all around him like he was inside the world’s most colourless kaleidoscope. He slowly breathed in through his nose, leaning on the edge of the countertop to try and introduce some form of balance to his body.
He’d extended the offer to Shayne, but honestly, lying down sounded like an absolute dream to Elliott, too. Maybe his body would stop freaking out if he got a little more rest. His sleeping pattern was completely thrown off, his mind raced in the middle of the night. Felix had star-fished across about forty different mattresses before choosing theirs, and while Elliott had acted like he didn’t care which one they bought, he had ended up agreeing that it was the best mattress he’d ever used. But sleeping there without Felix felt wrong, so his body had been rejecting it as much as physically possible.
Nowadays, he might as well have been sleeping in a wooden coffin like the stereotype dictated.
He turned around to check on Shayne, frowning when he saw that he was still sitting upright on the sofa.
“I thought you were going to try and sleep?”
“I can’t – I can’t,” Shayne whispered, lowering his head into his hands. “El, I – every time I try, I feel like she’s here. Breathing on the back of my neck…”
Guilt churned Elliott’s stomach this time. Elliott felt regrets like cobwebs sticking to his soul, and although he didn’t allow himself many, one of those cobwebs was the feeling that maybe he could have gotten Shayne out of Madelyn’s sooner.
“She’s not getting in here,” Elliott promised. “Ryan will have her head on a stick before letting that happen. Nancy will turn her blood into tar.”
“She doesn’t have to be here, El. She’s already here.” Shayne pressed a finger to either side of his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
“Jesus, I’m – I’m sorry, man.” Elliott laid a hand on his stomach, stifling a belch since he really didn’t need gas leaving his body to make this moment even more stressful. “What usually helps when this happens?”
As Elliot should have expected, Shayne gave a lifeless shrug. Alright, think, Elliott told himself, swallowing thickly. He’d never seen Shayne warm up to anyone until that day in the park when he’d been clinging to Charlie like his life depended on it. He liked to act tough (and who did he pick that up from, I wonder?), but really, Shayne just didn’t want to be alone.
He’d be lying if he said he couldn’t understand that feeling.
Elliott swallowed again, fighting the lump in his throat and the swirling in the pit of his stomach.
“Want me to sit with you?”
Shayne opened his eyes, looking genuinely surprised.
Elliott sank down on the sofa without waiting for a verbal answer. He hit the cushions a little too quickly for his stomach’s liking. It shifted noisily, semi-digested contents swimming around inside. “Now, if you think you can feel someone breathing on you, you can tell yourself it’s just me.”
“Ugh,” Shayne groaned, curling up on his side so that the top of his head was just next to – scarcely touching – Elliott’s thigh. “Do not breathe on me, man.”
Elliott smiled through his vaguely-concealed discomfort, glad that Shayne wasn’t facing him. “Afraid you’ll catch vampire cooties?”
Shayne didn’t respond beyond a soft groan that Elliott interpreted as “shut the fuck up, old man”. So even though he’d have loved to keep taunting his cousin and keep himself distracted, Elliott shut up, letting his neck rest against the back of the sofa and draping one arm up over his eyes. Lack of vision made the world feel a little less like the spinning drum of a washing machine. Elliott regretted dreaming up that metaphor, gritting his teeth as he realised his stomach felt like such a drum, too.
He was swallowing constantly, every few seconds now, chest tight with the effort of drawing slow, shallow breaths. It felt like the fibres holding his being together were frayed and left just shaky enough to throw everything off without causing him any actual, physical pain. Beneath it all was a tiny flame of anger; what the hell was the point in becoming a vampire if feeling unexplainably shitty at inconvenient intervals was still on the table?
An icy shiver ran down Elliott’s back, and he flinched where he sat. He slid his hand around the back of his neck and gulped another wave of saliva. Nothing was there, yet when he exhaled, he shuddered again. Shayne’s talk about Madelyn must have wormed its way into Elliott’s mind. Lord, he really was a mess.
He glanced down to make sure his sudden jump hadn’t disturbed Shayne. It was hard to tell if the boy was sleeping or just trying very hard to stay still. At least he didn’t seem to be panicked or shaking anymore. Elliott desperately wanted to stand up and walk around; moving and distracting himself would surely ease the building pain in his stomach, but he didn’t think he could get up without jostling Shayne.
Sucking in a breath and trying to brace his stomach for the move, Elliott shifted his weight on the sofa, cringing at how much the cushions flexed with him. He watched Shayne’s head, his breath still caught somewhere between his belly and his lungs. Another trickle of unpleasantly cool sweat ran down the back of his neck and his hands shook until he dropped the weight of his head into them. His elbows felt unbalanced on his knees. His stomach flipped, and he swallowed measuredly against its protests.
“Yeah,” Elliott choked out, though he’d meant to give a friendly, open yeah? As in Felix’s chirpy Yeah, buddy? Are you okay? What can I do for you?
“Y’alright?” was all Shayne replied with.
“I’m good, yeah.” Upon tasting blood and bile, Elliott gulped again. “Just relax, okay? No one’s going to –”
Elliott jammed a fist against his lips in time to stifle a wet, shallow belch. The sound was so sudden and violent that his head shot forward, almost ducking between his own knees.
“Fuck,” Shayne gasped, scrambling upright despite the fact his eyes were barely open. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Elliott half-snapped, annoyance at himself manifesting as annoyance at Shayne. “I may have pushed myself a bit this morning, but I’m –”
He was once again cut off by a belch, this one rumbling up from much deeper inside him. His belly continued bubbling even after the air stopped being pushed up.
“El, I think you need to –”
“Don’t.” Elliott shook his head.
“Why did –” Shayne winced slightly and rubbed at his head. “Why didn’t you say you were feeling sick?”
“Because I was trying to look after you!” Elliott sighed into his hands. The tiny burst of frustration was dizzying on top of everything else. “Lord fucking knows you can’t take care of yourself.”
“Fuck you,” Shayne said back, though his voice was empty of any of its usual fight. “I’m – I’m trying, I’ve been trying… Elliott, just go to the sink!”
Elliott’s shoulders rolled as he covered his mouth with his palm, feeling a thick film grow over his tongue. He was tempted to swallow it down again but a cramp ripped through his gut, making all of his organs squeeze in defiance of him swallowing anything.
“Shit,” he somehow mumbled, sitting forward and pushing himself to his feet as Shayne pushed – weakly but with good intentions – at his back to help him up. Elliott sprinted across the kitchen tiles and flung himself at the sink, stars in his vision and blood in his mouth. He was unbearably dizzy as he heaved up what he’d drank that morning. At least it had been an animal-blood day, and he wasn’t watching mouthfuls of human blood pooling in the sink and trickling into the drain.
It was a waste, but it could have been worse. He choked on a sob, realising he’d never thought like this until Felix.
“Fuck,” Elliott gasped when something moved next to him. He hadn’t even noticed Shayne following him to the sink. “Christ. I feel awful… Why – why do I feel this bad?”
“You’re trying to force something you’re not capable of.” Shayne folded his arms and rested them on the countertop, eyes falling shut again.
Elliott spat bitterly towards the drain. “How the fuck do you figure that?”
“Because that’s my whole life summed up, El.”
Elliott gripped the neck of the tap and turned it on, directing the water around the sink to get rid of the mess he’d made. His head was spinning and his nerves still felt alive with electricity and just wrong in general, but his belly felt a lot better. He felt like he could breathe normally again.
“You okay?”
“I think so.” Elliott rinsed his mouth, running tap water into his palm and lifting it to his lips. It was cool, and soothing on his throat after the retching.
Shayne looked positively miserable as their eyes met. “What now?”
As he shut off the tap, Elliott brushed a wet hand across the back of his own neck, relishing the cold drip that started trailing down his back. He shut his eyes, feeling like he was ready to drift off to sleep on his feet, like a horse.
“Well,” he said, “how would you like to take a nap on a really nice mattress?”
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sageblogsthings · a year ago
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to celebrate The Crimson Moon reaching 30k as of this morning, i thought that i would share the progression of the opening lines of the book, and talk a bit about how the book has grown and changed in the last year! on july 27th it will be exactly a year since i first started writing this and wow i’m not getting emotional you are aha whaaaat
*cough* anywayyysss!!
draft one: please oh god don't judge me
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ok i'm not going to talk negatively about my past writing because it got me to where i am today but. [marge i am looking away meme] if you can't tell, i wrote this when i was going through the existential crisis phase of uni and just wanted to live in the woods, i say like i would not currently move to the woods in a heartbeat asdklfja
at the time that i wrote this i was really happy with it because the writing was fun and, as a result, easy! at this point i was just writing in my down time from uni, and i didn't know what the plot was or what my plans were for the book as a whole. because this was just something i did in my down time, i think my writing took on more of a conversational, stream-of-consciousness tone, and that's part of what made this draft (or start of a draft, i only got like 12k in i think) so easy to write. but eventually, as the plot started to come together and i started to gain more inspiration from sff writers as a whole, i realized that this book wasn't heading in the direction i wanted it to. it wasn't just something to do in my free time at that point, it had taken on a life of it's own. and thus, draft two began.
draft two: electric boogaloo
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ngl these lines still slap and i love them. there are definitely things i would change, but these lines will be in the current draft of the book, albeit not in the first chapter and altered slightly. when i started this draft, i didn't have an outline but i had a very clear, cinematic image of how i wanted this chapter to go. i think having that before i started writing helped a looooot, both in terms of prose and just being able to convey aspects of the setting/character in the first paragraph. as i continued writing this draft though, i realized that some of the character arcs didn't make sense or were getting a bit messy, and that, based on the story i wanted to tell, it didn't make sense to start with Xalia. while there are six main pov characters in this book, Vanna really is the main character and i wanted that to be clear.
draft three: this time it's personal actually good
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these are the current first lines of the book, and honestly my favorite so far! starting off with Vanna rather than Xalia definitely gives the book a different feel, and it's one that's more true to the vision i have for it. in my opinion, this opening does a much better job of setting up some of the book's themes, which admittedly i'm still figuring out lol. grief and loss are major components of all the character arcs, and are integral to the plot itself. switching to present tense has also been a LIFE CHANGER for me. it's funny because, on the second stab at this book, i kept slipping into present tense, but forcing myself back to past tense because i thought present tense sounded weird. turns out it only sounded weird because it was surrounded by past tense, and now that i've written 3 chapters in present tense i can solidly say that this is the way the book was meant to be written. it just feels like my book now, and i'm so happy with where it's headed!
i also made an outline for this draft of the book, and while i've already deviated from it somewhat to work out plot holes or increase ~foreshadowing~ in certain scenes, getting all of the events out of my head and onto paper has really allowed me to just write because i know that i have a document to refer back to if i get stuck on where the story is headed. making the outline also really pushed me to think about character backstories, most of which i had previously established, but now they've changed a lot to fit together more cohesively and integrate with the plot more clearly. i've also changed a lot of the character designs, and as a result of changing the appearances and backstories of a lot of the characters, i feel a lot closer to them and the story itself. the characters have well and truly taken on a life of their own, and now i'm kind of just along for the ride, telling their stories and loving every second of it!
ALSO!! the last big change with this draft, which i just implemented literally this morning and am so so sooooo excited about, is having first person referral, present tense mini-chapters/interludes! it gives the book a really unique sound and ties into the plot really nicely i think! i feel like the structure and form of the story are finally tying into the story itself and it's driving me insane a little bit askdfjka
as of right now i'm not ready to reveal who the pov and referral characters are in these chapters, because i'm debating between a couple ways of doing things and if i go one way that would end up being a pretty big spoiler! that being said, i got really hyped up about it earlier today and rambled in the spoilers section of my server so if you do want that sweet sweet spoilers content....join my server! ;)
also. i hope u all know that i almost deleted that first snippet about ten different times but transparency in writing and all that, i really do want to show how much this book has grown and changed! even if it's going to cause me immense psychic damage to type up the image description for this but i digress
i think that's all for now, and thank you so so much if you read all of that! the love and support this project has received and continues to receive absolutely blow me away, and i can't thank you enough for being part of the journey! <3
the crimson moon taglist (ask to be +/-)
@dallonswords | @isherwoodj | @florraisons | @aetherwrites | @childhoodlovers | @bijouxs | @ziyin | @moonhungers | @piyawrites | @avi-why | @svpphicwrites | @alicewestwater | @ladywithalamp | @spencers-tomes | @discreet-writer | @sunwornpages | @abalonetea | @the-bard-writes | @x-writes | @morganwriteblr​ ​| @aphaimaniis | @stephwriteswords | @ninazeniks ​| @araliensmagica | @fuyugomori | @ryns-ramblings | @greyjaywrites | @marimos
image descriptions below the cut
[header image description]
the background is a dark castle with a checkerboard-patterned marble floor. the hallway fades into black, with the hint of a figure standing in the doorway. white text across the image reads "The Crimson Moon" in a large, all-caps font, and below that reads "wip update post" in thin, lowercase text.
[image description for excerpt one]
I lay on my back, gazing up at the sky. The weather was absolutely perfect. I could hear the crickets singing, the birds chirping, the brook babbling, all that good poetic shit.
I came out here often, just to get away and pretend like I wasn't a part of the fuck-all society I lived in. How could humans be so ignorant? We live in a world with this, I gestured expansively in my mind at the field around me, how can we not see how beautiful it is? How perfect it is? How imperfect we are by comparison?
[image description for excerpt two]
Xalia strode down the marble halls, the soft leather of her shoes meeting each tile with a cacophony of echoes. This was not the first, second, hundredth time that she had walked these passageways, and yet the chill she felt when contained within their depths never seemed to subside. The looming corridors and billowing curtains always seemed to hide sinister whispers that breathed down her neck and pricked at the tips of her ears. Perhaps it was the High Council, with their unnerving masks and owlish eyes, seeming to know and perceive all — or perhaps it was the knowledge that every time she stalked back towards the exit, she would carry the weight of another’s life on her shoulders, a life that she had to take.
[image description for excerpt three]
Vanna’s mother always tells them that grief is a sharp, biting thing; something that latches its teeth around your stomach until you double over with the weight of it. But for Vanna, that’s not quite right. There isn’t something hidden and tucked away behind the confines of their gut because there isn’t anything there at all. As they walk towards the town well — a spell book in one hand and emptiness in the other — they think that their mother got it wrong trying to describe grief in terms of presence. Grief, to them, can only be absence. The absence of light, the absence of a smile, and the absence of a palm which had curled so perfectly into theirs.
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thatfilthyanimal · a year ago
20 First Lines
I was tagged by @buginateacup! Thank you so much~!
Rules:  List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your  favorite opening, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!
I don't have 20 since most of my fandom writing has been RP but I'll post what I've got! Most of these are NSFW though lol, proceed with caution!
1. Sick (2010) - The door creaked as it opened, echoing throughout the halls of the lair.
2. Lock The Door Next Time (2010) - Eyes closed, Megamind leaned back into his chair and breathed a pleased sigh.
3. The Chase (2010) - They had danced this dance before.
4. Out To Lunch (2011) - This plan was perfect.
5. Helping Hand (2011) - "S-sir..."
6. Caught (2011) - Roxanne wasn't around.
7. Just Because! (RP being reformatted; will be on AO3 soonish) (2013) - With the sun rising steadily and thawing out some of the snow from the night before, now is the perfect time to try out something fresh… and it certainly has been a while!
8. Wish It Were Me (2013) - Megamind was unsure why he had even saved that link in his bookmarks, but now that he had found it again, he couldn’t help but click on it.
9. Untitled Jail Fic (will be on AO3 soonish) (2014?) - "Oh Miss Ritchie, you really think after all these years I would tell you something like that?" Megamind purred from behind the glass, looking out at the stressed reporter who was currently gritting her teeth in annoyance.
10. The Spikes Stay On (2021) - She yelped in surprise when he put his hand over her mouth and grabbed her, roughly, to pull her into a secluded section of the lair, backing them against the hard brick wall with her back pressed to his front.
11. And Tell Me That You Love Me (2021) - "So, about that list we made…about the things we wanted to try," Roxanne purrs down at him.
12. Getting Laid (2021) - There was nobody else like them on the entire planet.
13. I Can't Believe This (2021 - Ongoing) - As soon as they drove off, it felt like they could both finally breathe for the first time that day.
14. Untitled Smutfic (2021 WIP) - “So, I was wondering something…” Roxanne started, leaning against Megamind’s side at the edge of his underground pool, their legs hanging off the tiled side.
15. Untitled Minion Backstory (2021 WIP - Might not finish because this one is firmly kicking my ass) - Minion used to be a tiny little fish.
So. I'm shit at titles. I'm shit at first lines. I'm shit at having to build backstory. Is what I'm learning here, lmao.
But no uh, best first line imo is from 12, "Getting Laid", as it kinda sums up the entire reason for the scenario in that fic happening. I guess. Listen I don't know how to analyze smut, please do not take any smut I write seriously omg its usually just me being an unfiltered nasty bastard.
I also just like 9, "Untitled Jail Fic". I'm a sucker for Megamind in his villain days. (This is honestly just a section pulled from an old chapter fic I started maybe in 2014, that I'm SO GLAD I didn't start posting because my life got way too out of hand to both write that and try to RP at the same time. I also don't think it would have been very good. I'm glad I waited.)
Okay the real takeaway here is I don't write things to be serious, I write things to throw them into the horny void-- and if I think too hard about any of it I'll panic and not finish/post things (15 being a great example of me caring too much to get something right and panicking myself into a corner).
My chapter fic (13) is actually my first for any fandom ever? And I've been learning a lot in like... speedrunner mode here, so it's clumsy and paced weird and I get nervous about things nobody is noticing. Again. I gotta not be too serious or I panic. So I just try not to allow myself to panic.
Personally, titles and first lines don't draw me into fic. I look for 1) how much the characters are in-character right away, or 2) if there's smut. :x No shade to anyone who does neither of these, you should have fun! What I'm getting at is first lines aren't important to everyone, I guess.
I think most people I know of here got tagged already? So if you haven't been tagged yet consider yourself tagged!
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spencerreidscoffeecup · a year ago
Chapter 21 | Honeybee
CW: oral sex (for female-recieving oral sex: Spencer wakes her up to him--you know ;) but I just want to let you know it was discussed before hand! Completely consensual!) , kissing, fluff!!!!!, public kissing (in a park lol)
AN: Hey everyone!! This is kind of a filler chapter! These next few chapters will be fillers as we follow the reader and Spencer along their journey to becoming husband and wife. I hope you enjoy it! <3
Reader's POV:
"That cloud sort of looks like you, Spence." I say, extending my index finger towards the sky.
Spencer looks up, his fingers still fiddling with strands of my hair.
"It kind of looks like a skeleton." he replies, examining the cloud, and twisting his head around to get a better angle.
"Exactly, it looks like you." I giggle softly, and Spencer slaps my thigh lightly, scoffing playfully. His face grows into a smile, and I look up at him; my head in his lap as he combs his fingers through my hair, separating a portion into three strands and braiding them.
It's calming; Spencer's finger softly brushing through my hair as the soft wind tickles my skin. It's quiet for a few minutes, and I take a deep breath enjoying the sweet moment.
"Done." Spencer remarks, picking up the strands of hair he so carefully wove together, and showing me.
A smile breaks out on my face, "How did you learn how to braid?"
I take his hand in mine, bringing it up to my face and kissing the pads of his fingers and his knuckles softly, then wrap both of my hands around his big one.
"I may have looked it up online earlier so I could do it for you." he admits sheepishly, a small blush kissing the apples of his cheeks.
I feel my heart flutter, butterflies swarming in my chest. Sure, the act may not seem like a big deal, but the fact that he took time out of his extremely busy schedule to do something so small, yet so big for me made me way happier than I'd like to admit.
I let go of his hand and pull his face down, pressing my lips gently against his.
After a second, I pull away; his eyes still close as he chases my lips. I giggle as I comb my fingers through his hair, and he peppers light kisses on my face. He sits back up, leaning on his forearms, and I make my way up to his face, kissing him lightly and smiling softly at him, then taking the Ray-Bans off of his head and putting them on my face as I lie my head back down on his lap.
He leans back up to his normal position, pushing them further up my nose as they begin to droop, and then uses his index finger to trace my features tenderly.
"You're so beautiful." he whispers, and I feel a blush rise to my cheeks once again; feeling my chest get warm, the tips of my fingers tingling.
He cups my cheek, leaning down to place soft kisses on my lips as we both smile into the exchange. He leans back up, combing his fingers through my hair gently as he begins to ramble about- well, everything.
I can't help but smile at how excited he gets when he talks about a certain thing. I hate the fact the team cuts him off. I love when he rambles. It's one of the things that made me fall for him in the first place- besides his kindness and warm heart.
And his personality and being in general.
After a minute, he stops abruptly, rubbing the back of his neck meekly.
I look up at him, confused at the sudden silence and apology.
"Spence, why are you sorry?"
"I was rambling.. I didn't want to bore you." My eyes soften, and I lean up to kiss his lips.
"Spence, I love it when you ramble. It's one of my favorite things, I could never get bored of you or the things you talk about." I brush pieces of his hair out of his face, dragging my thumb across his bottom lip before I lay a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.
"Really?" he asks, disbelief flooding his voice.
My heart sinks a bit at the fact he's so surprised.
"Of course," he blushes at my reassurance, and I kiss his cheek; leaning back into his chest.
"Now, what were you saying about Great Expectations?"
"Oh, right! So basically: after working eleven years in Egypt, Pip returns to England and visits Joe, Biddy and their son, Pip Jr. Then in the ruins of Satis House he meets the widowed Estella, who asks Pip to forgive her..."
I smile as I trace patterns on Spencer's palm, listening to him talk about the plot to one of his favorite novels.
Could my time with him get any better?
To answer the question from before: my time with him actually could get better.. And I didn't even think that was a possibility by how utterly in love with him I already was.
But of course, in Spencer's true fashion: I was wrong and he was right.
Once the sun began to set, the sky a warm shade of dark blue, orange, and red; Spencer and I decided to head home. We take our time showering, Spencer massaging the body wash into my skin as he peppers soft kisses along the nape of my neck. Soft classical music plays in the background which goes nicely with the melody of the warm water's pitter patter song against the shower tile. The bathroom is dimly lit with small candles as Spencer and I exchange kisses, taking a break from our usual repartee and definitely wasting water. However, neither one of us cares as he gingerly kisses my lips, his arms wrapped around my waist in an embrace as we enjoy the intimacy.
Finally, once the water becomes chilly and our fingertips prune, I pull away from the myriad of kisses, to which Spencer whines in protest, but I roll my eyes playfully, kissing him softly again before finishing our shower routines.
We each step out, Spencer padding into our room to grab a pair of his boxers as I wrap the towel around my body, finishing my skin and hair-care routines. I slip into a blue dress shirt of Spencer's and pink panties, walking into the bedroom and whipping Spencer's ass with the towel I unwrap from my hair.
He yelps, gasping playfully and I giggle, a mischievous look glinting in his eyes.
I beam widely, whipping him with the towel again.
"Oh, you're so on!" He laughs, and I squeal as he makes a grab for me, but I duck out of the way, running past him and into the kitchen.
"You can't escape me, Y/n! I am faster than you whether you like it or not!" he yells, a grin plastered across his face as I stand behind the kitchen counter, Spencer standing on the opposite end trying to get to me.
"Says the person who failed the FBI fitness test three times!" I taunt and Spencer's eyes widen slightly as he feigns betrayal.
"Oh, you stooped low, Y/n Y/l/n!" he exclaims, narrowing his eyes with jest.
I giggle as we shift behind the counter before he pretends to go left, and I go left as well, until he goes right and grabs me. I screech as he throws me over his shoulder and I laugh so hard it becomes difficult to breathe as I slap his ass through his sweatpants.
"Did you just slap my ass?" he chuckles in disbelief.
Spencer smacks my ass back and I laugh.
"What? You did it first!" he defends, then throws me into our bed, fluffy pillows saving my fall.
I laugh as Spencer digs his fingers into my skin, tickling me.
"Spe-Sp-" I gasp, laughing as I try to stammer out coherent words, however it's impossible as he is relentless with his fingers moving all over my body.
I squirm, trying to hold onto his hands to still his motions.
"Spence! I'm gonna pee!" I yelp, Spencer laughing almost as hard as me.
He stops, a toothy-grin etched across his features as he falls onto my chest, then tilts his head upward to kiss me.
My chest is heaving as he smiles against the skin of my neck and peppers small kisses on the tissue, letting me calm down.
"I love you," he whispers, his hands underneath the button up shirt of his I am wearing as he gently caresses my sides, drawing small patterns on the skin.
I blush, smiling. "I love you more, Spence."
Spencer pulls his head from my neck, looking down at me with a small pout. "No, I love you more!"
I giggle, his golden irises twinkling at the noise as his face burns a light red.
"You're wrong! I love you more." I counter.
"Ha! I'm never wrong!" he declared, kissing my lips again as I laughed upon him.
"Well you are about this," I muttered, kissing him again so he couldn't protest further.
It was moments like these that I realized exactly why the honeybee needs its pollen. It needs the sweet nectar from the plant to survive and grow. Just how I needed Spencer. I needed him to show me how to grow. I needed my mentality expanded in great ways, and Spencer was able to show me the way.
He was able to show me the love that I needed in order to grow as a person.
The love that I never got when I was younger.
So as I drank from his sweet nectar, absorbing all of the bits and pieces of information that was stored in that genius brain of his, I began to grow.
I began to grow into a beautiful adult honeybee, gaining more and more knowledge of who I was and who I wanted to be because Spencer pointed me in the correct path.
The first thing that I was greeted with the next morning was the feeling of warmth blossoming over my skin, the early-morning sunlight tickling my cheeks as a means to wake me up from my comfortable slumber.
The warmth only lasted for so long until I felt my whole body buck forward, a bright gasp exiting my lips as my back arched off of the bed. I felt his tongue separate my folds that glistened with arousal as he hummed softly and happily against me. I choked on a moan as I peered downwards, getting a glance at Spencer, his mouth on my core. His eyes were closed in enjoyment as he sucked on my sensitive clit, the feeling making my hand fly down to his unruly curls that laid upon his head with charm.
His right thumb gently brushed across my clit as he happily droned a wonderful tune that mixed perfectly with the lewd noises that echoed throughout the sleepy room. It was a beautiful melody; that only egged me on further as I added my own chorus to the symphony, small mewls and moans escaping my throat as I tugged on his chestnut locks.
Spencer's eyes fluttered open as he lovingly caressed my inner thigh with his right hand. He looked up at me through his eyelashes, and I felt him smile against me as he coated his fingers in my arousal before gently pushing them inside of me. He kissed my clit gently, his thumb rubbing lazy--but hard circles on the bundle.
"Does that feel good, darling?" he whispered up at me, his voice crackly from him just waking up, which only made my hips rut to him, my senses begging for more as he ran his free hand up my body, squeezing my clothed breast gently which made me cry out drowsily.
He genuinely wanted to know, it seemed. As if he couldn't tell from how tightly I was gripping the sheets beside me.
I nodded softly, small gasps escaping my lips as Spencer curled his fingers to brush against my sweet spot. I combed my fingers through his hair, and he rested his cheek on my thigh to look up at my reactions. The act was so innocent, that it was as though he wasn't practically fucking my cunt with his fingers. He smiled softly at the way my body moved slowly (and sleepily) against his fingers, the orgasm that already fluttered in my lower belly only building like a snowball. I felt his eyes stay trained on my figure as I whimpered, my head tilting back into the soft pillows that cupped my body.
"You're so beautiful," he sighed, in an almost love-sick way, then began to suck the soft tissue of my inner thighs as he made his way down to my pussy, reattaching his lips back onto me as he kissed me slowly, but sloppily.
"Spencer," I whimpered, my hips bucking lightly as he only hummed on my cunt once more, the vibrations emanating throughout my veins that lit a fire in my chest and core as my right hand made its way to his hair once more. I ground my hips against his face as I came, my legs tightening around his head that I was afraid that I would simply suffocate him. However, Spencer didn't seem to mind one bit as he never once stopped his salacious manners. He was relentless. His free hand held my waist down on his mouth as he sucked, and I whined at the overstimulation.
He sucked until I was coming again, my arousal coating his fingers and slowly dripping down like smooth honey to his hand as he milked me through my climax. The second orgasm made my eyes roll to the back of my head as a silent scream sounded only in my head but not in the real world. My body shook and twitched as Spencer gently took his fingers out from inside of me, bringing them up to his lips as he sucked them clean.
"God, I love how you taste." he moaned softly, littering my body with kisses until he got to my mouth. I still quivered under his touch as the post-coital explosion made sparks fly through my veins.
However, he was taking too long kissing my neck. I was impatient. Thus, I pulled him up by his head with my hands and kissed him deeply. The taste of my arousal on his tongue only made my body tremble slightly as he smiled against my lips, looking down at me through eyes almost as golden as the morning sun.
"I love you," he whispered, bringing his lips to mine again as butterflies fluttered in my chest and belly.
"I love you." I responded, a small blush warming my cheeks.
He laughed softly as he kissed my reddened face, making me giggle at the sensations. As he moved his body up more to lean over my figure, I felt him hard against my thigh.
"Do you want me to-?" I began, but Spencer only kissed my lips again.
"No, love. I just wanted to make you feel good." he shushed any protests that I would have had with a light kiss to the lips.
I nodded, kissing him back as I held his face; the stubble around his mouth tickling my hands as I pulled him closer to me.
He melted into my touch.
For a while, we kissed and shared loving statements and sayings. My heart twirled in my chest happily as I combed through Spencer's hair, the possibilities of what we would do on this fine Saturday only making me all-the-more excited.
And that's when I got it.
Why not take the next step?
"Mm, hey Spence?" I pulled away from his kisses as he chased his lips with mine. I giggled as he opened his eyes, pouting softly. I kissed him again to satiate his craving.
"How would you feel about getting a pet today?" I proposed the idea, and Spencer's face lit up.
"How would I feel? What kind of question is that?" He asked, and I laughed. "Of course I would want a pet! What kind?"
I thought for a moment.
"A bunny?"
Spencer's face crinkled as he thought. "Mmh, they're cute but slightly boring."
I nodded, agreeing.
"A dog?"
"They're a lot of work. I feel as though we should start with something easier."
"True. What about-- a fish?"
Spencer laughed, throwing his head back slightly. "How old do you think we are, ten?"
I scoffed playfully, "Hey! Fish are very very cute!"
Spencer only rolled his eyes playfully. "Alright, alright."
It was silent as we conjured up what animal we would want to bring into our home. That was until an idea; a beautiful idea, popped into my head.
"What about a cat?" I asked.
Spencer's face split into a wide smile. "That's perfect! We can go today and look at the pet store!"
I nodded fervently, giggling at his excitement.
"I can't believe I just thought of that. I've always wanted a Havana Brown cat, ever since I was a teenager. I used to search for magazines that had the small little brown kittens and put them on my wall." I smiled fondly at the memory, and Spencer smiled at me.
"Did you know that the Havana Brown cat was the result of a planned breeding between Siamese and domestic black cats, by a group of cat fanciers in England, in the 1950s. Early breeders introduced a Siamese type Russian Blue into their breeding. However, using current genetic testing, it is believed that almost none remain in the gene pool." he rambled, and I listened intently.
"Really? Wow, my fourteen year old self is screaming right now at the fact you know so much about them." I laughed.
"I try." Spencer giggled bashfully, bringing me in for another kiss.
We had finally made it to the pet store around three o'clock. As we entered, we heard birds chirping, hamsters spinning on their small wheels, and puppies yelping for attention.
"Hello!" an older woman walked up to Spencer and I to greet us. We both politely greeted her hello and smiled. "Is there any specific little creature you are looking for, or are you just looking around?" she asked.
"Actually, we were wondering if you have Havana Brown cats? Or any brown cats in general." Spencer asked from behind me, his hand around my waist.
The wizened woman smiled happily, clapping her hands together. "Yes! Oh, I am so glad you folks are here! We have two little Havana Brown kittens over here!"
We followed the women to a small cage that held the tiniest, most adorable kittens. They were brown, one with light blue eyes and the other with one hazel and one blue.
"They're siblings. This is Rue," she held the small kitten with light blue eyes gently. "And this is Milo!" she gently picked the kitten with different colored eyes up, the small creature yawning softly.
She handed Rue to Spencer, his hand so big compared to the small kitten's body that she could practically drown. However, he held her softly, his face lighting with a small blush. My heart practically melted at the sight. He was so gentle. The woman then gave Milo to me. As soon as Milo made contact with my hand, he purred softly, nuzzling his face into my palm and licking it softly.
My heart practically melted in my chest as Spencer used his pinky finger to pet Milo's head, Rue still being held in his hand as he was careful not to hurt her. Milo's eyes fluttered closed as Spencer petted his soft fur, the kitten purring softly.
Spencer and I looked at one another and smiled.
We had made our decision.
I must have spent over two-hundred dollars on top of the essentials for a small cat, on little outfits, toys, and treats. Milo slept soundly in his little playpen area, stretching his tiny body out as Spencer and I watched with loving eyes.
"I feel like a parent," I whispered, and Spencer laughed softly, trying not to wake the small cat that laid in his pillowy bed.
"Me too."
It was quiet for a moment as we soaked in the feelings of beautiful domesticity. The feeling of family. The feeling of love.
"I love Milo's eyes," I stated, sitting on the couch in front of Milo's playpen as I watched his petite body take in small and slow breaths of air as he slept peacefully.
"Ah, he has Heterochromia. It's usually found in specific types of cats and dogs, however, Milo seems to be one of the 'out-of-ordinary' types of animals." Spencer explained, sitting next to me. I snuggled up to him.
"If he's out of the ordinary, then I believe we have picked the perfect pet." I joked, snuggling closer into Spencer's arms as he laid a small kiss on the top of my head.
We spent the rest of the night like that, setting the rest of Milo's things up and unpacking the little toys and goodies I bought for him at the store. I was so giddy, grabbing everything in every aisle at the PetCo as Spencer laughed at my pure and child-like joy that seemed to bubble from out of my body.
However, I couldn't help it.
I mean, I was getting a small kitten with Spencer Reid.
How could I not be overjoyed?
Any normal person would feel the way I do now.
I was just a little honeybee enjoying the sweet nectar that was and is Spencer Reid.
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daydreamerlxnd · a year ago
3 Days of Bliss (a short story made by me)
So I wrote a short story, sadly it’s not a fanfic, I’m bad at those lol. One day I just woke up and decided to write this. English is not my first language so feel free to correct me if there’s any grammatical or spelling errors, I’m always ready to learn more <3
           Phoebe, a brilliant name for a radiant person. A good friend of mine. We are on a road trip to a place that Phoebe will love for sure. I made an appointment with an artist. I decided to bring her to the artist's workshop and make some art. Phoebe has been a big fan of art for a long time, as far as I remember she always has been passionate about creating and learning about art since she was a child. My car moves swiftly across the highway towards our destination meanwhile Phoebe just spacing out into the road. We are enjoying each other's company and silence as all friends would do. About half an hour, we arrive at the place that we're supposed to make art for today. The town looks peaceful, almost like there's no trace of humanity compared to the workshop on the other side looks welcoming and humble.
                    As soon as we enter, a man around our age greets us with a smile on his face. He has long and wavy brunette hair that tied back messily. He is the true embodiment of an artist. The shirt he is wearing is smudged by the paints though it is hidden by the apron. He is lanky although there might be a little bit of muscle hidden behind the shirt, perhaps by carrying all of the art equipment. The building is quite empty but fills with various artworks along with the paints, canvas and brushes. At the centre of the room, something catches my eyes. A large glass platform is placed on the floor. The artist introduces himself as Kyle then tells us to change into the outfit he prepares. He says he is going to teach us to make art using our body parts. Kyle dips his hands in the paint while encouraging Phoebe to do the same. Phoebe hesitates to do so at first, but after watching Kyle spontaneously paint the glass platform using his hands, she starts to do it too. Kyle decides to turn on the music simultaneously doing their masterpiece while I just watch and take pictures of them. I already agree to be the cameraman throughout these three days' trip. Phoebe starts to use her feet to paint. She's suddenly dancing around the platform, each of her steps matches the beat of the song. Her pace is light. Almost seems like she's floating. Kyle and I are mesmerized by her, she shines like the sun on the crack of dawn. Before I even get to take more pictures of her, Phoebe drags me on the platform. We dance together along with Kyle, making art just by our footsteps.
            We decide to take a tea break. Three of us are drinking tea while making small conversations to spare our time. While we're talking, I can't help but notice that Kyle never takes his eyes off Phoebe. As someone who is also a man, it kind of bothers me the way he looks at her though I try not to think of it that much. After that, we continue to work on the piece. The artwork actually turns out great! I had never usually held any significant adoration for art until today. Others might think our artwork is just a mixture of paints without any particular pattern or reference. However, art is not all about beautiful sceneries and portraits. It's about the meaning and emotion we put in it. Take the case of Starry Night by Van Gough. Even though he was the one who made it, he thinks of it as a failure though now almost everyone knows and praises his art. Besides, people find his story and the meaning behind all of his art pieces mesmerizing and eye-opening. Both of us thank Kyle for his guidance and willingness to help us throughout the class, he even takes the chance to give Phoebe his number in case we want to meet up again. After saying goodbye to Kyle, we check in to our hotel to rest and prepare for the next day.
            I hear knocking on my door early in the morning, waking me up from my deep slumber. It must be Phoebe, she's an early riser after all. Phoebe seems enthusiastic about today's activity. She gobbles up her breakfast while I remind her to drink water, worried that she might choke on her food. Not too far from here, there is a music class that we will visit soon. Phoebe wants to learn to play a musical instrument ever since she saw me playing the piano once. We meet a Chinese woman in her 50s soon after we arrive at the class. She has a bright smile, friendly and sweet too. There are multiple instruments placed in the room, Phoebe obviously impatient to play all of them. I thought she wanted to play the piano though she reaches the violin at the corner of the room instead. The madam proceeds to teach her the right position to hold the violin while I do my usual task. I try to find appropriate lighting to take their pictures, most of it turns out great because of the madam's cooperation. Phoebe also looks natural while playing the violin, she always has been quick-witted. Phoebe exclaims to the madam that I'm really good at playing the piano. I am flustered when the madam requests me to play it though I do not dare to refuse someone's wish. It's been a while since I played the piano, I sit on the chair with caution. I touch the white tiles lightly, almost scared that it might break. Melancholy piano keys echoing in the air, the sound greets my ears like a bittersweet reunion of two soulmates who weren't meant to be. Phoebe sneakily takes a picture of me, making me stop from continuing to play the piano. Both of them give me an ovation even though I don't think I deserve it. I'm sure that they're just being kind to me. "I really want to be good at playing the violin now. It will be nice if I can do a duet together with Neil" says Phoebe in a child-like manner. The madam agrees while I'm flattered by their praises. Phoebe starts to become more persistent in practising after that. A duet with Phoebe as a pianist and violinist sounds surreal, kind of romantic may I say.
            It's the last day of our trip. Today we're going to do some photoshoots, as always Phoebe will be the model. We check out from the hotel at 5 am in the morning and drive straight to the destination. It's kind of rough travel because we need to climb the mountain near the town before the sunrise ends. On top of the mount, there are lots of wind turbines that make you wonder how far our technology has developed. The scenery is breath-taking, the greenery soothes my eyes, what's more, my lungs are filled with fresh morning air. It is a wise decision to pick this place as our photoshoot's venue after all. This is also the reason why I choose to be a full-time cameraman instead of a professional pianist. I always have been passionate about photographs more than playing the piano. Phoebe looks beautiful today, she's wearing a white dress that really compliments her ocean eyes. She's stunned by the sun slowly rising up on the horizon. A lot of pictures are taken during the time, she doesn't even need to pose that much. "Neil, dance with me." She whispers while looking at me with adoration in her eyes. I take her hands, leisurely melts away in her gaze. As if all of our concerns are gone like it's actually an ordinary voyage between two soulmates. Phoebe suddenly bends over, she starts to lose her composure. I hold both of her arms, trying to get her to her feet again. No one can ever imagine someone who is as strong as Phoebe is in pain. She's been sick for a long time now. Instead of getting further treatment, she decides to spend her last remaining days with me. She wants to learn and does things that she always wanted to do since forever. There are a lot of activities that she wishes she could do. In the end, we decided to decrease it into three activities only. The trip is going great, she keeps glowing throughout our journey. Every picture I take throughout our journey is magnificent. She reminds me of the star at the centre of the Solar system. The sun that peeks through the clouds during one of those gloomy rainy days. She never fails to bring lights in one's self. Although, her eyes can't hide the fact that she's slowly dying. The trip back to our hometown feels sombre though Phoebe never let her smile wear down until the end.
            I didn't come to her funeral today. Instead, I just lock myself in my bedroom accompanied by the dusty piano. I only play it once in a blue moon though I drag the cover on top of it revealing an old yet still sturdy piano. The dust flies around the room. This might help to distract me from the loss of a person very dear to me. I start with a delicate movement though it gradually turns into a desperate for melody of someone who refuses to let go. My slim fingers dance across the white tiles with fury, longing and regret. She was bedridden as soon as we got home. I knew that her body couldn't handle it, it might be risky yet she was still eager to go on with the trip. I should have stopped her, I had the chance but I lost it. I weep silently, the white tiles are drenched by my tears. The way she shines in my eyes, the way every single of her gesture makes my heart flutters. I was in love with her. I was in love with the sun that was no longer here. The rain pours down from the sky as if it's also grieving with me. I stop playing though the rain never stops. The sun is nowhere to be found either.
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thedappleddragon · a year ago
hooray I think I was productive today :) friends can read this time (except cassidy, you gotta leave, birthday spoilers) but if you figure out my secret project dont tell anybody 
uhhh I dont remember much of this morning other than I just wanted to keep sleeping and my cat was probably clawing at my sheets again. I knew I needed some tape so I could tape together patten pieces for my project and my mom needed meds picked up, so I gathered my things and went to the store by myself with my mom’s card and a short shopping list. all fuckin morning I kept repeating the Minecraft creeper song and the clip from “Korone saying eating Myke Tyson's ass Good Ending” where she has the birthday cake hat. so imagine me, sitting in my car, singing “eating, mike Tyson’s, ass. NOOO” on repeat while looking for a parking space. I ended up walking laps around the store because I didn't know where they kept the fuckin hummus and I had to text my sister and ask. then there was SO much trouble at the pharmacy. basically they didnt have my mom’s insurance on file so I put her on speakerphone while she acted like a boomer not being able to read her own insurance card. the worst part is that because the pharmacy lady was talking to my mom over the phone, I couldn't kill time and be on my phone. so I had to just STAND THERE staring into the middle distance for entirely too long playing with the 2 sets of keys I had clipped to my hand purse wallet thingy. at least I felt cool in my outfit and my boots. eventually it all pretty much worked out and I got to bring home 2 out of her 5  medications and all the groceries. but the lady at checkout thought I was struggling with the machine or an idiot or something (or maybe she was trying to be helpful, whatever) and came over to help me like 3 times. like!! I'm sorry im tired and a little overstimulated and like to take my damn time!! whatever its fine lol. afterwards I drove over to dollar tree to get tape, but I ended up getting a lot of other things too. I saw that they had a brand of tape where you could buy extra rolls without the plastic thing that holds them so I got both. there was also satin ribbon which I was very tempted to get to add to my project, but since I did have fabric to color match to I put it away. instead I got a set of tiny jars, glitter, and craft glue to make into liquid glitter jars. my first idea was to maybe make them into a necklace with fake flowers and shrinky dink fairy wings, but I think they'll just be for decoration. I wanted a snack while I was there and got some crackerjack, like from the baseball song. if you didnt know, yeah its real and its just candied popcorn and peanuts with a little sticker inside. but its really damn good! that's why I ate 2 out of the 3 boxes kn the back and shared the 3rd with my dad. after checkout I sat in the parking lot eating crackerjack straight from the box since I forgot hand sanitizer and watching tiktoks. when I tried to go home there was a huge line of cars outside the entrance to the neighborhood with an ambulance in there and police lights up front, so I turned the other way and took the other entrance. when I came home I found my mom in the process of ripping up carpet in front of her bathroom so she can replace it with tile. we had discussed this earlier today but I thought this would be an eventually project, not a today project. so I spent some time cutting carpet, ripping up foam, sweeping, and prying away the spiky wooden boarders. we need to either remove or hammer down some nails that go down into the concrete before we can start laying down tiles. I spent some time taping together my pattern pieces, cutting 1cm strips off the side of 25 pieces of paper until I got 5 long lines of 5 sheets that I would need to match up and tape together. I didnt have enough space on my bed so I brought it all out to the kitchen floor. it was the biggest clean flat surface in the house I could think of. I got frustrated about pieces not fitting perfectly and my printer cutting off important parts at the very bottom of pages, but I made it work. I roughly cut around each piece and when I brough them all back to my room, I saw my cat had gotten sick on my bed which made me more frustrated. she was asleep on my blankets and very warm so when I picked her up I was worried for a moment that she might have a fever, but she’s fine. I let her out of my room so I could take off the sheet she messed up and ran it and a couple other things through the wash. for the rest of the afternoon I let my cat stay outside without me, and she ended up staying outside for hours, never straying too far from the door but not coming inside when I invite her. I'd check up on her every so often and set her food dish. my sister kept asking me to find my wallet that had mom’s card in it which frustrated me more, and by now I was also getting hangry, so I was fuckin mad and tired and needed to be alone in my room for a bit. I have her card info saved on my phone so I just texted that to her so she could pay for food. I noticed my dad’s boss had called me and I missed it, so I called him back nd he just said It would be a couple days before any updates. I wish he would have just texted me but whatever. I sat outside with my cat while we ordered, making sure she was ok and wasn't hurting her eyes in the sun. I went in the car to pick up food but made my sister go in alone. we ate together in her room while I watched tiktoks and she worked on homework. after that I looked at the stuff u got from dollar tree and started making the 5 mini glitter jars in the bathroom. they all turned out pretty cute, but the pink and red ones are lowly leaking baby oil through the cork stopper. after that I had 2 tiny jars left, so I shoved in dried rose petals and baby’s breath and crushed leaves, all from the flowers my dad got me for valentines day. I think they turned out ADORABLE, and I'm going to borrow some earring making supplies from a friend who bought them in bulk to start a small buisness of reselling aliexpress charms as earrings but quit after a while and still had a ton of leftover supplies. I think I might want to add some twine and shrinky dink fairy wings to the earrings, so I spent a while making 2 test pieces and fucking up a scrap piece to test how to make the hole for the earring hardware. I talked to my dad bout my whole process when he walked in on me preheating the oven, and he agreed to buy the smallest drill bit the hardware store had to offer so I could just drill the hole after baking. luv u papa <3 by then it was getting a little late so I went back to my room. I only have a week or so to finish my project, and I didnt want to get into pinning and cutting fabric tonight, so instead I prepped my patterns. I zoomed into the pattern pdf so it was life sized and traced the missing edges that got cut off by my printer and cut out all the pieces with an xacto knife. I was struggling all day to figure out what the hell these 2 huge shapes labeled lower front and lower back were supposed to be, until I looked through the pdfs again and realized it wasn’t even for the version of the pattern I was using!! so I folded them up and added them to the scrap paper pile. now I have all my pattern pieces nicely prepped resting on an open drawer because otherwise my cat would step all over them. tomorrow I think I'll start pinning and cutting, but not until I read through all the instructions like 3 times and try to look up a youtube tutorial. but its 2:30 am now and im hungry, good night sleep well mwah <3
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