Tumgik
#this was supposed to be funny and i ended up making myself sad ha ha :)
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#looking at the notes ppl in the lab let me on my birthday card. it seems ppl think i should chill the fuck out lmao#a lot were like RELAX!!! and ya kno objectively theyre right but i refuse to listen bc theres something wrong in my head#sigh. i survived the day at least. the timed measurements r done on this experiment. thank christ. and my birthday gathering as so#i dont kno. it was kinda funny and kinda sad i guess. bc i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt want it to but i was like fine. ill meet#at 4. and i expected it to b in the conference room but they set up outside the lab around the corner. so they did kinda surprise me#location wise i guess. i cant imagine what expression i was making. it felt like a pained smile but idk. i had to go back to take#measurements every 4min so i was standing there with a plate full of ice creame cake. kinda away from everyone while they talked. staring#at my phone timer as it ticked down and abruptly leaving when i had to log a measurement. i was basically a non entity while there. which#was kinda idea bc i have too much hurt inside to talk to ppl right now. as evidence by my phone call with my parents when i got home. im#just kinda a bummer to exist around rn. idk maybe i should apologize to my boss bc i kno im not an easy person to do things for#and i really do appreciate the effort. its just hard when i kno how much stress its going to cause me for someone to attempt to do#something they think will b nice. so idk i just feel bad. but its over. and idk what ill do tomorrow. i should do stuff for when i move#like my dad was like: u should prioritize ur future stuff. and hes objectively right. they think i should get a studio apartment which#would b expensive as fuck but i will destroy myself if i have roommates. idk. theres lots still to do bc i have to get a ton of data#processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for#vacation. which my mom was like did u buy ur tickets for next month and i was like. hm how do i ask where im supposed to buy tickets to#without giving away that i dont kno what ur talking abt? bc apparently im going to a wedding? wtf do i wear to a wedding?#idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and#that hurt has nowhere to go bc i cant even give anyone an honest account of how awful it was bc its like what r they gonna do abt it?#anything i say is just worrying bc i cant seem to stop myself who whats the point in talking abt it. but idk humans r social creatures so#when im in pain at least part of me wants someone to brush my hair and acknowledge my pain and tell me itll b ok#but idk. the idea of that happening is different from the reality where i seem to opperate at a different frequency to other people. we#just dont seem to properly connect. idk. idk what ill do tomorrow. im afraid to loosen my grip on my schedule bc i might fall to piece#pieces without the pressure. well see. lets home my 26th year is better than my 25th was. bc last year sucked#hope* lets hope that was my low point. bc that was not a fun time and im worry to take account of thr damage done#unrelated
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duchess-kyuupid · 1 year
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So I had an idea, what if reader was the magicless student and didn't feel like going home because they knew they were dead in their old world?
So one day a friend asks, "What do you think you'd do if you got back home?"
And reader just replies nonchalantly with a straight face with, "Probably lie in a coffin six feet under."
The friend thinks they are joking but little do they know...
Could it be with Ace and whoever else you'd think best fit the scenario? Thanks! <3
Hello anon! Sorry this literally took forever (-ω-、) At first I had a hard time trying to figure out how to put it all together and who to do lmao I think I ended up doing pretty good, if I do say so myself (maybe a little bit overboard as it went on, though? Like the request looks like it's supposed to at least be a little bit funny but my brain says 'haha sad reader go brrr') Either way, I hope that you enjoy, darling <333
~ "I'm probably never going back." With Ace, Kalim, and Grim ~
[Angst to fluff, Platonic Grim, Gn! reader]
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Ace
"So," Ace started, munching on his sandwich, "What d'ya go to the Headmaster for this time? You get stuck with another random job again?" he asks with a sinister innocent smile on his face as he eyes your own lunch.
"Actually, we were discussing the prospects of me going home," you stated nonchalantly, casually sliding your plate of food closer to yourself, knowing full well that Ace really only started this conversation to get you distracted so that he could get at your cherry pie (which the chefs had made specifically for you, as a thanks for helping keep the fireplaces warm over winter break).
Now, while you had certainly noticed that Ace was after your food (you were used to it already, after dealing with Grim after all of this time), you had failed to notice the way that Ace's smile fell off of his face for the faintest moment after he heard the words 'home' leaving your mouth, but he was quick to regain his notorious smile before you could see his disappointment. And in an act to tease you a bit (and to rid himself of the unknown feelings bubbling in the pit of his stomach), he brazenly chuckles and states without thinking,
"Ha, I bet that old man probably told you to give it up. Like, what would you even do if you got back home?" Without a second beat you tell him with a straight face,
"I'd probably just be six-feet under."
"Right?" Ace agrees with a hearty chuckle. And he sees that you still for a second, lowering your head and taking a deep breath for a moment. In that quick moment of you losing concentration, Ace swipes the last remaining bite of your cherry pie with a cheeky smirk.
"So that's why I'm probably never going back," you clear your throat and look at Ace with a sad smile, tears brimming your eyes. And suddenly, Ace feels really, really guilty. He was just trying to lighten the mood by joking with you...about going home...
Ugh, how could he have messed this up, worse? It's impossible, I tell you! Ace knows that you've just been suddenly thrust into a world that you know nothing about, forced to attend a school where you barely even meet the minimum for the curriculum, and, to make matters even better for you, you're basically forced into doing whatever that Headmaster of the school tells you to, simply because he was just kind enough to let you stay at the school since you hadn't even a penny to your name nor your nonexistent family in this world.
Not only that, but you're also the prefect of this new dorm without any magic at all, and you're supposed to keep an eye on this random cat that nearly ruined the Orientation ceremony. And! You've also got to handle both him and Deuce, also known as the chaos duo to everyone who knows them. And he just stole the last piece of your cherry pie, which was honestly something that you more than deserve after all the shit that you've gone through. We all know that you weren't crying because of him stealing your pie, but this fact really was just the cherry on top of his sundae of regret.
So yeah, just label him as Dumbass #1 in your book, if he isn't already.
And he's not sure why he was surprised to see those tears in your eyes, but he was, and he's ashamed at the fact that he's never noticed how you've felt before. So in a frantic motion to fix things, Ace stands up quickly, saying a quick excuse to you about accidentally leaving something in his last class or something, and excusing himself from the lunch table before you could even react.
~~
You honestly didn't know where he went after he left you at lunch, because he wasn't in any of his classes for the remainder of the day. It was only after classes, as you were walking back to Ramshackle with Grim, that you saw him next. He was standing in front of your front door with a nervous look on his face, but he was dressed quite nicely. Not quite formal attire, but it looked like he was expecting to go somewhere, at the very least. Once he saw you approaching, his face brightened for a moment, with a slight blush cropping up on his cheeks as you ask him what he's been doing all day.
"Well," he starts with a chuckle and his infamous smile, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I got permission from the Headmaster for us to leave campus for a while, so why don't we go check out some stores at the village nearby? I thought that maybe I'd show you around, since you'd probably beg me to keep you from getting lost anyway... Oh, and don't worry about paying for anything, I have it allll covered." He says that last part with extra emphasis and a more confident smile than before, hoping that that would be the ticket to getting you to agree. Little did he know, you were going to agree even if he wasn't going to buy you anything. And little did you know that one of the biggest reasons why he's decided to do all of this can be explained through one simple sentence: 'I want you to start liking this world more than your own.'
In truth, he'd struck a deal with Azul again in exchange for enough cash to buy whatever you wanted from any store (he's got a lot of work cut out for him in the upcoming future), but shh, you didn't need to know that. It would be all worth it if it means that you can get a chance at starting a normal life here...
And perhaps, maybe one day you might want to start living your new life with him by your side.
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Kalim
Oh, Kalim. This epitome of sunshine was sharing everything about his family, his childhood, and his homeland to you with so much enthusiasm that you felt yourself feeling the twang of homesickness starting to erupt in your heart. But of course, this always happens with Kalim, doesn't it? First, he hurt the one who he's always adored as a brother- Jamil, and now, he's hurting you too, all without realizing it. You could never blame him for it, though. His genuine happiness and warmth was something that you looked forward to every day, and most of the time just being around him felt like you were basking in the sun on a cold day.
But, sometimes the warmth that he radiates so fervently starts to feel like too much, as if you were being scorched alive under the unbearable heat of the sun.
"So," Kalim says, taking a moment to catch his breath, "I think that's all of my brothers and sisters, plus all of my extended family too! We're a big family, so I know it's a lot, haha! Say, what's your family like?" he innocently asks with bright, expectant eyes.
And you know that he doesn't mean to do this to you, but you can't deny that right now you felt like his beautiful red eyes were burning themselves into your soul like a branding iron. You don't want to make it sound like you blame him for your predicament or his enthusiasm about his family, so you give him the best smile you can muster and divert the subject to the best of your ability.
"Well, they're really not as important as yours is. Can you tell me more about how the Asim family started out? Your family must have a lot of really interesting history."
"Oh, sure!" Kalim nods happily to your request, forgetting his own question shortly after as he continues in his own rant about his gigantic family and some of the more interesting parts of its history.
At this point, Jamil really couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. He's been quietly watching and listening in on your conversation with Kalim from his seat in the corner of the room, where he was supposed to be 'studying'. Jamil sees that Kalim's doing the same thing to you as what happened to him, and decides to step into your conversation. 'Might as well go ahead and rip the band-aid off before it gets to the point of no return,' Jamil thinks.
"Hey," he begins, cutting Kalim off mid-sentence, "Do you have any sort of plans for when you get to go home? If you can go home?"
And Kalim looks at you with a surprised look on his face at Jamil's question for you because of course you'd want to stay here in Twisted Wonderland with him and everyone else! He'd never thought of the idea that you'd ever want to go back home to your original world, Kalim felt like it was just a given that you'd want to stay even if you had the choice to leave. But now that he thinks about it a little more, he doesn't understand where he even got that idea from to begin with. After all, as someone who cares for his family and his homeland a great deal, he can kindof understand how you might feel after being torn away from all of that without any way of returning.
"Haha, well," you chuckle heartlessly, "I'm probably never going back anyway. I think if I went back home now I'd just be six-feet under or something." Your attempt to lighten the mood with your 'joke' fails when you hear the sound of your own voice saying it. You would be lying to yourself if you tried to claim that, no, your voice wasn't shaky, and that yes, you were completely fine with never seeing your family ever again. Jamil makes a comment that he was going to grab something to drink from the kitchen, leaving you in a moment of silence with Kalim following your rather dark 'joke.'
"Well, what's the harm in trying anyway?" Kalim asks softly, "You never know unless you try! Plus, even if it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you've given it your all, right?"
"That's the FUCKING problem," you snap, "I've BEEN trying to go back home, and nothing's ever working! And there's no way in hell I'm just going to give up and go ~'Well at least I tried'~ when it's my goddamn LIFE on the line here!"
Oh no, you didn't mean to start yelling at Kalim like that... But after hearing his flippant "at least you've given you're all" comment, all of the pent-up emotions just felt like they were going to explode if they were kept inside any longer. You feel bad for suddenly yelling at him, but at the same time, it felt like the water gates have finally opened, and before you knew it, more kept spilling from your mouth.
"I had a normal life back in my world, you know! I had people who cared for me, I had plans for the future that I painstakingly paved the road for for my entire fucking life. Everything that I've done in my life up to this point, it's all become utterly useless now that I've come here," you wailed, tears escaping your eyes as you spoke without constraint, "Can you imagine how it feels to have everything stolen away from you, Kalim? All of the people that I've created my childhood memories with, they're all gone! My scholarships, my college applications, my work experience- nonexistent! Hell, if you want to get into the legalities of it, I technically have never gone to school in my life before attending NRC because I never existed in this world before then." You take a breath to help calm yourself down, but after still feeling the flames of rage bubbling in your lungs, you continue to vent out your feelings.
"Do you know how it feels, Kalim, to have no idea whether the people you love know if you're dead or alive? To have to think about how they would react to my 'death' when I'm still kicking and screaming inside another world?! To have to think about everything that you've been forced to leave behind all of a sudden?" You're basically screaming out your frustrations to the sky now, as you couldn't bear to stare at Kalim as you cried out your miseries, "To have to think about the life you could be leading right now if you weren't dragged to some random world with no knowledge about it's countries, it's history, or even it's most fundamental principles like magic?"
Kalim's staring at you intensely, taking every single word you speak into account. Even as you got to the point where you couldn't speak clearly anymore, when you pushed yourself to where all you could do was sob, snivel, and blubber out your words of woe, Kalim sat there listening to you the whole way through.
At some point during your crying, Kalim pulled you gently into his arms in a tight embrace as he let you continue to let your feelings out. He was going to wait until it was all out before he even tried to say anything (reason one being, because it would be rather rude to interrupt you, and two is because he's been rather notorious for crying when he sees other people cry and he didn't want to make the crying spotlight on him)
When you were finally done, Kalim patted your head soothingly and spoke quietly. His own voice was shaky too, and he was also on the verge of tears just from watching and listening to you.
"I never knew you felt like that, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier," he says, and just the sound of him trying to keep in his tears breaks your heart to pieces.
Your pain is his pain, your tears are his tears, and your smile is his smile because, even if he doesn't realize it yet, he truly loves you dearly. Kalim knows he can be really, really dense most of the time, which is why he never noticed these pent-up frustrations of yours when they were so obvious to Jamil, but he hopes that you'll forgive him for making you feel even worse.
"It's not your fault, Kalim. I'm not angry at you or anything- I'm sorry for yelling like that," you inhale, "It's just-... It just hurts, you know? Thinking about all of the what-ifs and the could-be's... But the truth is, I've had more fun in the short time that I've been here than in my entire life back home. And most of that's because of you, actually."
"Really?" he asks, a spark of his normal cheer returning to his voice.
"Yes, really. I might not be able to use magic, but it's been something that I've loved learning about since coming here. You know, the very first time you took me on a ride with the magic carpet, and I got to see this whole new world from way high up in the sky, I knew that nothing from my home could beat that experience. I'm going to miss my home, but it's not so bad when I know that you're here."
Oh, look at you- you were the one who just had an emotional breakdown right in front of Kalim, and yet you're the one consoling him! Your sweet words struck through his heart like cupid's arrow, and he internally vows that he will always be someone who brings a smile to your face- that he will do everything that he can to make sure that you're happy.
"Then," he perks up, wiping his face from any stray tears that might have escaped from earlier, "Let's go on another carpet ride together, outside of campus!" He exclaims excitedly, all hints of previous sadness gone from his eyes and voice.
"There's so many places I want to show you, but I think we should look for spots that look like your home! This world is a pretty big place, so I'm sure there must be somewhere that looks similar to yours. Tell me everything about your homeland- If we can't find something like it, then we'll just have to make it ourselves!"
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Grim
It was in the midst of winter break that you started to feel more lonely. All of your other friends were gone and spending the holidays with their families, while you were still here at the school with your only company being Grim and the Ramshackle ghosts, who would come and go as they pleased. Everything was just so,, quiet, without the chaos duo Deuce and Ace around. Of course, Grim was almost always up to his own little shenanigans too, but most of the time they were harmless and it was just him entertaining himself with catching mice and such.
The silence of the winter break and the bleakness of the white snow was staring to take a toll on you, and it wasn't helping the fact that you're still experiencing nightmares beyond what you see in the mirror at night (this is not a jab at you, I swear).
For reference, you just had a dream that woke you up in the middle of the night, sweating and gasping for air as you tried to recollect yourself. Of course, you couldn't fall back asleep after what you've just seen, and Grim was still sound asleep in his corner of the bed. Quietly, you move to get up to go get some fresh air outside- not forgetting to bring your jacket with you to the freezing cold weather out there.
And you spent a bit of time in the silence of the night, sitting on the stairs of the front porch of the Ramshackle dorm with a heavy jacket tied to your shoulders, just staring up into the sky. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so you know that looking at the stars would usually help you out in times like these.
'I can see the stars so clearly from here. Back home, the stars would be so dim that most nights you could hardly see them because of all of the lights around.'
'Huh, I wonder what kind of constellations this world has thought up of. That kinda looks almost like a horse, if you look at it sideways.'
'I wonder what kind of galaxy this world is in. The Milky Way was nice and all, but something different could be nice, too.'
Those would be the kind of thoughts that would help calm you down after your nightmares and you'd start feeling sleepy again. You'd go back inside, maybe drink a little bit of water, and then delve underneath the covers of your bed and go to back to sleep.
But this time, though, you could hardly focus on anything else except for the contents of your dream. No matter how intently you stared into the night sky, there was nothing else that you could think of other than, 'It was just so realistic.'
"Hey, hench-human! There you are! 'Was wonderin' where ya went so late at night. Come back in already, you let the fireplace in the room die out and now the whole room's gone cold again," you hear Grim calling out to you from the now open door of the Ramshackle dorm.
"Sorry Grim, I'll be back inside in just a bit, just gimmie a minute, alright?"
"What? You're just gonna sit outside in this cold?" Grim exclaims, "What are ya even doing out here anyway?" And you hear Grim's paws tapping on the old wooden flooring as he scampers his way to you.
"Couldn't sleep, so I went out for some fresh air, that's all."
"Oh yeah? Had another dream about the Great Seven? Or was it that Mickey dude in the mirror again?" He pushes your arms away from your legs and jumps into your lap without another thought. If he was going to wait for you to get up and relight the fireplace, he was at least going to wait somewhere that's nice and warm- your lap.
"Actually," you clear your throat, "not this time, no."
"Then what's up?" And he just said it so casually, like either he knew that something was bothering you and he wanted to make the conversation comfortable enough to talk about it- that or he's just completely unable to read a room (which was honestly the more likely option). Either way, it made you pause for a moment, to think about whether you wanted to answer his question honestly or make up some sort of lie about it.
"I'm thinking about whether I should just go ahead and tell Crowley to give up on looking for my way back home," you admit, deciding on telling him half-truths for now. But your comment caught him off guard, and he looks back at you with surprise. "Huh, why would ya do that?" he asks.
"Well, I mean I'd probably just be lying six feet under if I do manage to go back, so what's the point in having Crowley waste his time on this? Besides, he's been using it as an excuse to make me us do all of his dirty work for him, and I don't want to be indebted to him anymore than I already am."
"Well, I guess that does make sense, but still, haven't you been wantin' to go home this whole time? What's with you givin' up now?" he grumbles.
"Awe, I had no idea that you hated me this much," you joke, "To think, that even my closest friend even wants me gone from this world! Oh, woe is me!"
"Hey, you know it ain't like that, henchman!" Grim pushes you playfully, "I'll have you know that, unlike SOME people, I care about my minions. If ya wanna go home, then you should keep tryin' to find a way back, especially if there's someone else doin' all the work for you."
"That's sweet of you to say, but I'm probably never going back."
"What makes you so sure?" And you don't say anything to his question, not for a while. Grim notices your silence and concludes his statement, "Well, if that's what you want, then alright. It just means that you'll be here to see me become the greatest mage in the world!"
"Mhm," you nod sluggishly, and the conversation goes quiet from there. Now, the heavy silence of the winter night fell upon the both of you, the only sounds being the creaking of the old wooden planks of the Ramshackle dorm, the frostbitten wind blowing through the air, and the soft shuffling of you petting through Grim's fur as he sits idly in your lap. The silence didn't bother either of you much, as Grim was nearly falling back to sleep with the soft movements of your hands brushing him and the warmth from your lap keeping the cold at bay. But as time continued to pass, your anxious thoughts started clouding the deep recesses of your mind once again and you felt compelled to speak upon them.
"Grim, I know that you're a monster and everything, but do you know anything about reading a human's pulse?" you speak suddenly, and he flinches awake at your question, rubbing his eyes tiredly as you continue without letting him answer, "You can find your heart rate just by pressing on your wrist, or placing these fingers against your neck, like this." And you demonstrated both actions to him.
"Grim,, I," your voice chokes up, "I can't feel my pulse... Earlier I had another nightmare, and I saw myself dying. In my world... It was so realistic, I..." Tears start erupting from your eyes as you recall the vivid memory, and Grim stares at you with wide eyes as you continue, "When I woke up, I felt like I could still feel the pain. It was so excruciating, I felt like I was going to throw up, so I came out here."
Your body was shivering uncontrollably with how you were trying to keep your tears in as you spoke, and you pull Grim closer to you in a hug close to your chest, "Grim, please tell me. Do you hear anything? Anything at all? Even if you lie to me, please just tell me that you can hear my heartbeat."
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
"I can hear it," Grim states seriously (I mean, after seeing the state you're in, it would be more than a little rude if he wasn't serious), "And I'm not lyin' to ya. It's super cold out here, which is probably why ya can't feel it, but you do have a heartbeat. I promise you, you're alive, right here, with me." He wasn't expecting this, but he tries his best to comfort you, though really he has no idea about what to do or what to say. But as awkward as his words come out as, it still works to help you calm down after a while. He waits until your breathing starts to slow down and your tears have stopped spilling.
"Henchman, I'm startin' to feel hungry for a midnight snack," he states, "I know you're hungry too, so let's go sneak into the cafeteria and see what they've got!" And he leaps off of your lap and looks at you with his bright blue eyes, "We can warm up by its fireplace while we're there too."
As he starts dragging you towards the school, he turns to look at you and he says, "The way I see it, the way you still get hungry or thirsty is how we know that you're still alive. You wouldn't need to eat or sleep if you were dead, like the ghosts, now would'ya? You really need to stop overthinking things like this, givin' me a heart attack when you start cryin' outta nowhere like that..."
~~~~~~
I accidentally wrote a whole mini-story for them, no wonder this request took so long </33 I really hope that you enjoyed reading this, anon! While I did have trouble at the beginning, things started falling into place as I kept writing 👏👏
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hi, i first want to say that i absolutely love your writing !! i was wondering if you could write daughter of poseidon x leo valdez hc ?
⋆⭒˚.⋆ leo valdez x daughter of poseidon! reader hcs
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content: leo valdez x daughter of poseidon! reader hcs warning: language, tbh i went kinda crazy with the silly goofiness but i have no shame author's note: YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY THEORIES???? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT MY THEORIES- im so sorry for the person this request turned me into
ALL TIME FAV ALL TIME FAV ALL TIME FAVE ALL TIME FAVE
sorry, minor possession, moving on
ALL TIME FAVE ALL TIME FAV-
its not funny, i apologize
no but fr, i live for this shit
this is me core at it's finest
if you can't tell, all the long fics for leo are x daughter of poseidon bc i am obsessed with myself and i deserve it
my blog i run it how i want
bitch
STOP GETTING SIDE TRACKED
okay, okay, so this man met you at your absolute worst
HEAR ME OUT LEMME FINISH
im sorry but your brother, the light of your life, is missing and your just supposed to be like??fine??
no, girly is going through it
nightmares, sleepless nights, grief, no more eating for her too much guilt
who knows the last time percy had a good meal? who knows the last time percy slept on a bed? who knows if percy is even alive?
you get where her mind was??
yeah, and then tweedle dee here shows up
bro is like, is that attractive young woman sad? i shall fix this with humor and charm
and he rides off into the sunset
no but okay hes hang about you and says something to make you laugh and he doesn't think anything of it, going back to what he was doing
but then later, annabeth grabs him with tears in her eyes and is like
"that's the first time she's laughed since he's been gone. we've all missed y/n, thank you for bringing her back."
bro is GUTTED
and the determined to never let you go another day without laughing for the rest of your life
i liked to imagine that he is not exactly the biggest fan of the water, being a texas boy born and raised he has no need to cool down
it's legit 110 degrees out and bro is like 'why are you whining about the heat?? i'm actually kinda chilly, could you grab me a sweater?"
so, while you surf and play in the water, he just sits on the beach and tinkers away
every time you come back and plant a salty kiss on his lips, he's got a new gift for you
you name it, he's made it.
rings? duh
necklaces? obvi
metal hair ties that don't tug hair out and also don't give you a headache?
do you even have to ask at this point??
and when leo meets percy he's all nervous bc in his mind he's like 'future brother in law. must impress.'
so he's like "your sister is super cool and hot-...wait-"
"what did you just say?" percy questions, hoping it was his amnesia making him hear things
"yeah, what did you just say? you think i'm hot?" you question, all blushy and cute
"so i did hear that correctly. cool, cool, cool. i'd start running, btw," percy cuts in, causally, producing a sword as leo ran away like a cartoon character
don't worry, they grow to love each other
their favorite pass time is to gang up on you, don't worry.
these two working together to prank your ass?? yeah, it's done for.
leo just brings out the best of the daugther of the sea and everyone can see it
and everyone's grateful to him for bringing the bubbly girl back from the deep end
DEAR GOD WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN I DESERVE IT I'VE BEEN GOOD- AASHDIUASDHEWUIRHBSD (that's the sound of me throwing up my liver btw okay gg bye bye)
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therainscene · 1 year
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It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.
I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”
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The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?
Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.
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I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.
But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--
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--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.
I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.
No fucking way.
Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”
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Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.
Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.
I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.
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We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.
Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.
Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.
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But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.
I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.
Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?
It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.
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This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.
So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:
That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.
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Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.
Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.
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anxiousheart7 · 6 months
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*spoilers* Astarion’s story - analysis and thoughts
I’ve been thinking quite a lot on Astarion the last couple of weeks, and the journey I’ve been on with him. I’ve seen a lot of content about him.
I’ll start by saying this - I didn’t ascend him. I couldn’t. I did, however, watch the ascension on YouTube but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I’m going to explain why.
Here’s the TL:DR version, with my deeper dive below.
As Astarion gets his revenge in Cazador, his flurry of knives felt oddly satisfying to me. It was a release as grim and cathartic. That cry of pain and ending felt necessary for him. I came out of that palace knowing that it was ok and he’d be ok.
The ascension felt gratuitous. Watching him carve exactly what Cazador put him through should have been cathartic too, but it wasn’t. I just felt a shiver of cold. And that was the moment I knew it was the ‘bad’ ending.
Experiencing Astarion’s Journey - delving deeper
I don’t think I’ve ever quite experienced a character story like his before. Here’s someone who is quite clearly designed to draw you in via the usual routes. He’s attractive, he’s got the funny lines. He’s the rogue - a lot of D&D players’ favourite class. He quickly becomes indispensable.
At the start, his flirting was fun. Act 1 I think is supposed to be a light hearted toe in the water, so to speak. Right up until your first major choice with the goblin vs tiefling conflict. Then it becomes real. But until then you can spend copious amounts of time wandering and chatting to your new friends in camp while some of them (namely Lae’zel, Gale, Karlach and Astarion) go straight to ‘i want you’ territory. And you’ll gravitate to those that are ready to get hot and heavy because…video game sex.
There was such a focus on romancing your camp and you lean into that so heavily in act 1. Approval is all-important. And his approval is harder to get, so you try harder with your choices. You want this guy. Like really want him. He’s like ambrosia. And, if you’re not one of the 100k rejections toted in Larion’s infographic, you get him.
As a recovering people pleaser, I’m not going to lie, that was a hard concept to grasp. To make your choices based on who you were trying to impress is exactly the kind of behaviour I’ve been trying to step away from in real life. But hey, this is a game so I’ll be ok.
And then it starts…
Looking back, there’s this line that stood out ‘it felt like you weren’t all there’. Despite his insistence later, Astarion was very likely going to that place of dissociation that he talks about later on. And that’s sad, because as Tav you want this milestone to be special. You want them to fall in love with you. The reward for all your hard-earned approval hiking.
But Astarion masks. He masks well, but you can tell on Insight that it’s all an act. Even when you look closely, the ham fisted complements he throws at you reflects the 10 charisma he’s carrying around. He works as a lothario not because he’s an adept silver-tongued Casanova. It’s because he’s simply beautiful. People see him and want him. His looks mask what’s going on underneath. But then you look into his eyes and it’s right there, plain as day.
There’s so much more underneath. I have watched the scene over and over with the hammy chat up lines as he’s trying to convince you to sleep with him again (I got propositioned first before the tiefling party) and the more I watch, the more I believe that ‘I love you’ wasn’t an act. They wouldn’t have given you three brush off comment choices if it was. He meant that, and I don’t think he even realised he meant it until he found the words coming out of his mouth - as though he was daring himself to say it.
With Astarion, it’s all in the eyes.
And, as someone who has seen those eyes in the mirror on a pretty regular basis, I knew there and then until he started revealing his backstory - the scars, the master and all the rest, I knew this was going to hit very hard and this man was a deep well. He was so lost that he barely had any idea of who he was any more.
By the time you’re well into Act 2, you’re starting to get the gist of him. You learn about his sadness and sense of loss around his identity before he was turned. You learn about the scars. And you learn about Cazador. I got the sense that all of this exposition was almost like a therapy dump from him. Thoughts and feelings he’s wanted to express for decades but hasn’t had a soul to tell - or he’s been compelled not to by his master. Now he can get them out. He can voice how unfair and unjust it feels. The sarcasm, the cynicism, all a way of expressing how much pain he is in. But one thing he’s never lost is the knowledge that he doesn’t deserve this. He hasn’t been beaten down so much to believe that he is unworthy of better treatment. And that sense of self is what I believe has kept him going all this time. He knows it wasn’t his fault. He knows Cazador was a cruel, sadistic monster.
And I hugged him. Of course I hugged him. I defended his autonomy from the moonrise drow and I hugged him after. At this point I’d fallen as hard for him as he had for me. I cared for him. I couldn’t make any of those obviously awful choices with him. When the details of the ritual came up I felt a knot in my stomach. And sure enough every time we talked after that point he talked about taking that power and I thought ‘this will be rough’.
It reminded me of a lot of really bad experiences I’d had in the past. Boyfriends and friends who were clearly bad for me and I was bad for them. And yet, I needed to help this guy. This person who had nobody for so long. Who didn’t know what it felt like to have someone actually care about him.
I looked this as someone who has experienced trauma in their life. How would I feel. How have I felt? To be scared of so many things. To wonder why on earth would I do something nice for someone else when I’ve sat in alleys, starving and in pain while people just walk on by. No gods to answer my pleas for help. I’d be cynical and disapproving too. I’d have a warped sense of humour. I’d want to never feel that again. Of course he saw the one thing that could protect him and feel compelled to grasp it with both hands.
Astarion has conjured up feelings in me I thought were long gone.
Astarion’s finale
The images I’ve included in this post have been doing the rounds on tumblr and this hits so hard it hurts. Astarion’s journey ends in such as way that it’s meant to be hard.
If you’re a gamer that commodifies your characters as a series of stats or objectifies them based on their design, then ascend him. It doesn’t matter to you. And I’ve seen plenty of people on message boards and Facebook saying exactly that - “but he gets these powers and is so badass”. They’ve never seen past the facade. He was a jerk at the start of the game, a creepy flirt and a vampire ready to be staked. And that was it.
Every excessive power in this game has a major consequence that you have to live with. This choice I think is one of the biggest before the climax of the game.
The ascension pretty much erases him. It takes who he was and the healing that he’s done and throws it away, as if it never really mattered.
And to him he’s worth exactly what he thought he was to begin with. His self-worth is warped into superiority and his hunger and fear replaced with a hunger for power and dominance. He’s not free in this form. He just becomes a new kind of imprisoned. He’s placed in stasis forevermore. And this won’t last forever because as absolute power corrupts absolutely, it also falls. Just like Ozymandius, he’ll rise and collapse under his own grandiose. And he’ll take you with him if you let him.
That steamy scene before he turns you is basically exactly what the Larion writer is saying - you’ve not empathised or grown here. Have your sex scene and then enjoy your eternal enslavement with New Cazador. It’s a bad ending for you and Astarion. You get to be exactly what he was, no matter what pretty words he tried to convince you with - he’s still that 10 charisma trying to convince himself as much as you. He’s Act 1 Astarion with some nifty new powers. He will control you like a doll and yours will be the same half life his was. He’ll start with promises of being his right hand, but somewhere down the line you’ll do or say something and he’ll do to you what was done to him. It’s the ultimate narcissistic relationship.
If Astarion walks away, he’s him. Truly him. With purpose and a new path to walk. You can build a new life together with nothing holding you back. The trauma behind him, he can now walk a path of healing for himself and learn who he is. It makes me feel hopeful and joyful that he gets a second chance.
And that’s where I’m at. My ideal ending is for them both to go off together searching for a cure for his vampirism. Whether it’s possible, who knows - on writing this I’m still to finish my first run of the game. But at least there’s that glimmer of hope in that ending.
I think Astarion is beautiful. There’s a reason half the internet is madly in love with him right now. But if you let yourself, he becomes more than a nice body and a pretty face. His complexity opens up like a puzzle box and you feel the satisfaction of a truly beautiful arc come to its climax. He’s a beautifully written and crafted character and I’m so glad to have experienced his story.
I could say so much more…but it’s long enough as it is. Thanks for reading x
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bronx-bomber87 · 6 months
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Happy weekend Fandom :) Per usual we have a few high content eps then the next is a little lower. Still a good ep to be had though. Seeing a softer side to Tim for Angela. What a good friendship they have. And the continued reasons to dislike Lucy’s parents so much. I go off on her mom so be prepared. They spend this episode apart which always makes me sad. But it’s a great episode regardless. Let’s get this started.
3x10 Man Of Honor
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We start off the ep with some flashbacks to the academy. At first I thought my clip was shaky, then I realized its Nolan's shoddy camera skills not mine LOL This is the one moment I wanted to highlight out of the academy shots. Lucy’s reason for becoming a cop. It’s prominent for later in this episode. Especially with her bloody mom….Her feeling adrift since college and not knowing where she belonged. That when she stepped into the LAPD It finally clicked.
Saying she didn’t feel the time she spent before this was a wasted effort. Which is amazing most people regret the wasted time. To me I agree with her. It’s that time before you find your thing that eventually leads you to it. That need to want to protect others from harm as part of her reason. Fantastic and very Lucy. I do love her finding her place as a cop. It’s why she fights tooth and nail at everything she does with this job. What Tim saw in her from day one. That fire and drive to succeed. Love our girl.
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The scene in roll call is hilarious. Jackson’s dad told him when he got P2 he got bottle of whiskey. That he was called up to the front and given this. They are both operating under this assumption when Grey mentions them. It’s too damn funny. I love their friendship so much. It truly one of the best parts of this episode. Jackson gets tongue tied so Lucy steps in for them both. Telling Grey it's their first day as P2's all exicited.
He asks them if they want flowers? Cupcakes? It's why Grey asks Lucy what the reward is for making P2 above. They’re insanely embarrassed by the time Grey is done with them. They get to ride together which is the highlight after all that. It’s so weird to have roll call without Tim there though. I feel his absence but I guess even T.O.’s get days off. Boo.
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We catch Jackson and Lucy in their shop. Jackson keeps getting ‘Congratulations’ texts from his family. You can see the slight jealously on Lucy’s face. I totally get it. For the most part I relate to Tim. When it comes to poopy unsupportive parents I'm right there with Lucy. She and I are alike where I too have tried on a lot of hats. Just trying to find myself as well. My parents being judgy unsupportive jerks the entire way.
Lucy has finally found what her calling is and just wants her parents to be proud of her. Makes me wanna cry just writing that out. Because even when you don’t have good relationship, there is still a part of you craves that approval. When really is should be the other way around. They should be vying to be in your life.
Jackson invites her to his family tradition dinner. So sweet he really takes care of her so much. Lucy declines because her parents are supposed to come over for dinner. She thinks they’re finally coming around to her being a cop. Jackson is so excited for her and says that’s great. I love this scene. They’re so excited to be riding together it’s adorable. Getting to use ac and listen to music haha It's precious.
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We cut to Tim on his day off. Yelling at Kojo to move when he’s given up on their walk LOL It's the way Tim whines at Kojo that makes me laugh so hard. Kojo refusing to get up even though they are close to the house. That dog clearly runs that relationship and it makes me giddy to no end. I adore any scene we get with Tim and his dog. Ovary explosion for me. I’m a huge animal lover. To have a dog and Tim in a scene? Phew lord. Gimme. Tim gets a text from Angela saying she needs him ASAP. He finally gets Kojo to move by asking him if he wants a steak? Lmao Spoiled Fur-baby.
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Tim gets to the address and it’s a wedding dress shop. He enters hesitantly wondering what is going on... He asks the employee where she is? They tell him she is currently in the changing suite. She’s gone through half their tissue supply. Aww poor thing. Tim sighs and makes his way to her. Once inside asks what’s wrong? Is she going into labor? Lmao No love. Nothing like that. He is straight with her when she asks if she looks fat. I love how he tells her like it is while also being sweet about it. The Tim Bradford special. Telling her who cares what her stupid friend thinks. If she's not ashamed of her baby bump then screw everyone else.
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Angela is still upset she can’t hide her belly in her dress. Then we get to see protective/supportive Tim come out. Mmm one of my fav flavors. Asking her ’Who said you have to hide your belly?’ Angela tells him her bridesmaids did. The dress she’s in was supposed to camouflage it the best and its not doing that.
I adore him building her up when she’s down. Look at him taking the skills he learned from Lucy. Using them in this scenario. I love it sfm. Tells her to show off her baby belly. To be proud not ashamed. To wear what she feels confident in. Ugh my heart Timothy. He’s doing exactly what she needed. This is why she texted him. To be that emotional support friend. Her face says it all in that gif above.
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What I love about this scene we get to see another side of him. Not just work Tim. A supportive and thoughtful friend. If Lucy could see him right now she would be dying haha He asks her what her dream dress is? Angela tells him what she wants. He says he’ll go get the dress lady and they’ll start there.
I love this man so much. It’s insane. She looks so at ease and taken care by the end of their scene. What a good bestie does. Can only hope we can have scenes like this when Tim marries Lucy. Angela helping him out but giving him crap in a loving way baha Good man right here. Already loved him before this but this only adds to it. Like a sundae that was already delicious and adding on more yummy toppings. Only makes it even better.
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Angela is trying on more dresses. Tim asking her if she’s doing ok? I’m loving this soft version of Tim. If he’s this sweet and supportive with Angela. Can only imagine how he would be with Lucy and their plans when they get there. Angela says hard to get dress on over her bowling ball. Naww Tim’s face when she finally comes out is so cute. Once again all I can think of is his face when he sees Lucy in hers someday. I'm sorry I can’t help it LOL My brain is wired to go there now with them together.
Tells her ‘Whoa.’ building up her confidence even more. It’s so sweet. Angela agrees it’s perfect and thanks Tim for doing this with her. He does the sweetest smirk and lets her know ‘Of course’. A crash interrupts their little moment. Two ladies are fighting over a dress. Tim and Angela come out to see the fight. The dress lady says she’s called the police. Not to worry. Tim starts to film it in case they need it for evidence.
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Then his future wife and her bestie show up on the scene. Tim couldn’t be more delighted to watch her and Jackson handle this. Lucy is distracted the minute they enter the scene. Tim Is in a dress shop for one and two with Angela. Her reaction couldn’t be more pure and adorable. Asking if he’s there to help her pick out a dress? Just the thought of it is making her so happy and proud of him. The immediate joy on her face.
The thought of him doing this makes Lucy so damn giddy. Jackson doesn’t have time for her work flirt and goes after the suspects LOL Tim’s reply is classic Tim. God forbid she get to see another soft side of him. Which is exactly why she’s so giddy BTW. Tim replying to her question 'All he’s doing right now is watching her not do her job.' Ha God Tim you could’ve at least said hello. She gets nervous and side steps before helping Jackson. It's adorable. She's totally lost her place in her excitement and is clearly distracted by it.
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The more the situation escalates the more Tim and Angela enjoy themselves. Angela commenting ‘They grow up so fast don’t they?’ One of them tries to take off with the dress. Tim helps Lucy out cause he can’t help himself. Sticks out his leg tripping the suspect. He could not be enjoying himself more if he tried. Just being a proud hubby filming her arrest and making comments along the way hehe Lucy's face while he does this. She is not amused at all. I’m cracking up. God I love these two idiots so much. Act more married please. You are fooling no one.
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Her dinner will her parents Or really parent has arrived. Lucy being a wonderful daughter her mother doesn’t deserve. She's made lotus root soup which is her favorite for their evening Trying to curry favor with her before their dinner even begins. I get it. Her mom shows up solo…. Congratulates Jackson before he leaves. She is nicer and more of a supportive parent to Jackson than her own daughter… ugh been there…Lucy asks her where her father is?
Her mom says off handedly like it’s no big deal he’s at his book club. Like this dinner meant nothing to him. Her face kills me. Trying to just shake off the hurt. Melissa crushes this scene btw. My heart breaks for her over and over. Lucy continues to brush it off and say they can have a girls night to celebrate then. Her mom drops the hammer very early. Doesn’t even try to pretend to be happy about her graduating to P2. Says she isn't there to celebrate.
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Saying how they need to talk about this whole police thing. Like it’s just been some random hobby the last year or so for her. Even gives a sarcastic 'Brava.' Like she didn’t almost friggin die from this 'hobby' last year. Telling her to do something meaningful with her life. To get a real profession. The emotional abuse happening in this scene hurts to watch. It gets under my skin as the hits keep coming. Basically saying what she’s doing doesn’t mean anything. Once again Melissa is wonderful in this scene. Watching how it slowly escalates and her body language through out. Trying to take what her mother is telling her and not let it affect her. It works for a little bit but not long...
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States she wants Lucy to do something she’s proud of. One of the rudest things to tear your child down with. To only think of yourself and how their decisions make YOU look. Pisses me off so much. Just because my parents are the same damn way. To only think of themselves and not of their child. Such a narcissistic way to view Lucy and what she’s done with her life. How her career embarrasses them and they'd prefer her to just leave the last year or so behind. Just because it doesn't puff them up around their friends.
My parent's are obsessed with status as well. If I'm not using my degree (which I only got for them BTW) for a job it's not something to be proud of. Even though the job I currently have gives me independence to live on my own with no roommates (which is not cheap these days), pay all my own bills, and take care of me and my dogs with no help. But since it's not what they consider a profession to be proud of they aren't proud of me. So I relate painfully so to Lucy in this scene. Also the school thing such a boomer answer. My parent's are the same way.
To think school is the only answer to everything. That obsession with status and only wanting your kids to do their approved career choices. What makes them look good and smell good in front their social circle. Instead of thinking hey my kid is happy, they’re providing for themselves, they love what they do. They’re independent. No they only think how it negatively impacts them. I'm so mad for Lucy because I’ve lived this. The heartbreaking way she asks ‘Can’t you just support me?' Thinking why is this such a big ask?
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This is why the support she gets from Tim is EVERYTHING to her. Why she lives and breathes for it. When you’re torn down your entire life it’s hard to have self esteem. Hard to believe you’ll ever be good at something. Even if you are you don't truly believe you are until someone tells you repeatedly. Emotional abuse growing up leaves lasting scars. You can see where it all stems from for Lucy in this one scene with her mother.
Her mom goes on to tell her to find a career that really helps people. Like a doctor. Uh she has. You just don’t like it. Says she doesn't mean to be blunt, but really she does. If her mom would take her head out of her ass for two seconds. She would see Lucy already has all the things she’s harping on her to achieve. I want to hug Lucy so much while her mom berates her. Giving me flashbacks to my own mother. The pot shots leave wounds that are hard to heal.
The way she says ‘They'll always love her but’ and there’s the emotional manipulation. Basically saying our love has a price tag and that tag is the job of OUR choice. Not the one that makes you happy but the one that is socially acceptable for them. The way she cringes and moves away from her mother's touch. Knowing it’s manipulative. Hurts my soul to watch. Last thing she wants right now is fake affection.
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I do need to commend her for having the backbone to tell her mom to give her space. I've never had the guts to stand up to my mom. I just avoid her like the plague these days. Rarely interact with her. Easy when she lives on the other side of the country. All the way in Alaska and can stay there. So huge props to Lucy for being overwhelmed and setting a boundary in this moment.
That if she’s done expressing what a disappointment she is that she can just leave. Her mom doesn’t fight her in the least really. She does a little stomp trying to exude some power over her. It doesn't work. Then Lucy yells at her to go and she finally takes off. Phew. Hard scene to watch. The shot that pans out of Lucy is a great one but a heartbreaking one. Makes me so emotional to watch this scene. This scene resonates with me so much in the worst way. I wanna hug her so badly in that last gif. Wishing Jackson was there to do it for me.
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The cuteness continues for Tim and Angela while they taste test cakes. This is a much needed contrast to Lucy's SL atm. Angela sighs and says this is stupid. That no matter what she picks Patrice will overrule her. Tim is sitting there all arms crossed. Has become one of my fav poses for him. Yum Tum. Says all authoritatively ‘Don’t let her.’
What I’m loving about theses scenes is we’re getting background on Tim. Which I always love getting. Why am I not surprised his dad got drunk and ruined his wedding? That his whole family seems like one giant disaster zone? (Other than Genny) I love him taking his past experience to help guide Angela with her wedding. Such growth. Saying a million things like what his wedding had you can’t control. But this she can. So to pick what she really wants.
Angela says she wants a Tres Leches cake, but Patrice will think it's too ethnic. SMH ..Tim goes into protect mode once again. I love it sfm. Letting her know ‘Screw Patrice. If she has a problem with Tres leches or anything else for that matter she can answer to him.’ Side note anytime Eric says any Spanish word I wanna climb him like a tree. He says it with the right inflection and it’s sexy af. You know he learned all that from his wife and I love it. Feral Caitlin will cool down now but hot damn. Protective Tim and a slight accent with a Spanish word? Lord help me. Also in the black hoodie? He’s trying to kill me.
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Angela replies really? Tim nods his head and says 'Hell yeah.' Then proposes to him with a cookie to be her man of honor baha I love this episode for them. He tells man of honor isn’t a thing...She says yes it is. Lets him know he’s only person who’s made her feel sane. That she needs him to get through this wedding. He caves and says fine hehe Angela tells him his first duty is to fire her current made of honor Gretchen LMAO His reply ‘What?! ‘ I’m rolling. I love this man so much.
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We catch Lucy and Jackson at the station next day getting their war bags loaded. Lucy saying he got in late must’ve had a good time. He shows her the necklace they gave him. St. Michael. Patron saint of cops. Lucy looks jealous and asks if his parents will adopt her? Jackson immediately sensing something is wrong. He asks if she had trouble with her folks? Picking up on Tim’s habit of being a lying liar who lies. She isn’t truthful with him and he can see right through it. The concern written all over his face.
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Angela invites Gretchen to the station to be fired by Tim. It’s too funny. Tim asks why she can’t fire her? She says she’s working a case and has to go. Tim calls her a coward when he see’s Gretchen arrive lol. Another fun piece of history for Tim. He was at Angela’s nieces quinceanera. It’s how he introduces himself to Gretchen seeing as they met there before. Love them being close enough friends for him to attend that.
Gretchen is legit eyeing him the entire scene. Her eyes checking him out up and down. Can’t blame her look at the man. He is a sight to behold. Low key hits on him asking him if wants to make a little extra cash as the stripper? LMAO Too bad Lucy isn’t around to see this interaction. He always gets so flustered when someone does. I swear he doesn’t know the gorgeous creature he is when they do this.
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Tim tells her she’s been fired from MOH. His cute little look when he says Angela picked him to be her man of honor. He’s happy to do it for her but doesn’t want anyone to hear it....lol You think she’s gonna be mad. Nope just relieved. Telling Tim it’s been a nightmare. Pulls out this massive book of ‘Patrice’s picks’ and the anti-anxiety meds that come with it. My god. Also the phone just for wedding needs. Tim’s face is hilarious he looks so very overwhelmed.
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Lucy and Jackson get to end their day on a high note. They were able to link up with Nolan/Harper on their OP. Rescued a little girl and got her safely back to her mom. This scene is so validating for Lucy. Reminding her despite what her parents think this is her calling. That this is the right path for her and she’s helping people like she wanted to. May not be the way her parents approve but she is. Grey telling them that little girl wouldn't be here without their hard work. They're being put up for an award too from Grey as well. That is the icing on the cake for her in this scene. She needed this after that horrible fight with her mother.
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We find Tim and Angela on the rooftop walking toward something. She asks him what he’s doing? He tells her ‘Being your man of honor.’ They walk up to a trashcan that has the 'Patrice picks' book in it. He tells her he has one job. Give her the wedding she wants. He douses it all in the lighter fluid. Hands her the lighter and asks if she cares to do the honors? Then Angela praises him and calls him amazing.
He could not be cuter when she says this to him. Being Tim he deflects it with sarcasm saying ‘All the time.’ Ha! It’s much different than the smile we get out of him in 5x13 when Lucy calls him amazing. But it is different when the love of your life calls you that vs your bestie. Still I love this for him. The Patrice phone rings and Angela tosses it in the fire. Tim has them step back cause the battery in it is gonna explode LOL Such a damn cute episode for Tim I can not stand it.
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Best part of the episode for Lucy is this next scene. I love Jackson so very much for his loyal and loving friendship. Also for how he handles this whole thing. Knowing something is off with her. He called her mom and was told what her mom said. Tells Lucy he told her mom if she didn’t apologize to her she wasn’t going to set foot in their apartment again. Such a good friend. That’s a true blue bestie right there.
Then he follows it up with something even sweeter. Handing her a jewelry case saying this was from the West family. To remind her there are people out there who are proud of her. Proud of what she’s accomplished. I’m melting this is so damn sweet. I might get a cavity. He helps her put it on. Then tells her he’s taking her to dinner. For baseball steaks. She asks if they can do sushi instead? LOL Jackson easily concedes and says ‘Deal.’ He'll do whatever she wants.
Jackson takes care of Lucy so well. Filling that role until Tim is ready to step in and take his place. He would’ve been SO SO happy for her and Tim. To see Lucy be taken care of and treated like a Queen. Which she so very much deserves. To see her properly loved and happy. Makes me emotional thinking he’ll never get to see how happy Tim has made her.
Such a good episode even though Chenford were apart their SL’s separately were so good. What makes them so great. Can have amazing SL’s even when apart. Although I prefer them together heh.
Side notes-Non chenford
Getting to see Capt Anderson in their graduation flash back. My heart. I miss her.
The flashbacks to them at school were every cute. Lucy kicking ass in their combat classes. Of course she did. Nolan even commenting 'Think twice before taking on recruit Chen’ Obviously.
Nolan had a SL but I didn’t care about it until it involved Jackson and Lucy 😂
Thank you as always to those to like, comment, reblog and support these reviews. They’ve helped me a lot getting through this extended hiatus. I hope they’ve been helping you all as well. Shall see you in 3x11 :)
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mdhwrites · 5 months
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The Owl House's Problem with Genre
So this is more a general lesson of: You are supposed to set your expectations for something by the genre set forth by it. If you're consuming a tragedy, you need to understand that fundamental flaws in who a character is are going to doom the entire cast. That doom is inevitable for them by who they are as people. However, if a RomCom tries to pull the same trick for angst and sadness, that's when you get the Third Act Breakup in both its good and infuriating incarnates because, well, it's two genres about joy more than pain.
So what does this have to do with The Owl House? Well, it's something that I struggle with as a writer myself because I can blend genres some and that makes it hard to entirely quantify what genre a work is in. TOH has a problem where the genre will often shift between various episodes.
Like let's look at the first episode. Pretty firmly, that is a comedy adventure. It's got some fun jokes tying into the problem, the action is silly and the powers are a bit goofy to play up the comedy even as they're in danger and the show is telling a lot of jokes pretty rapidly.
Jump over just two episodes though and you have the first episode with a comedy B plot. Sure, Eda and King are having a comedy adventure of sorts but Luz? That one is magical slice of life. It's somewhat comedic but calling it an adventure feels a bit like a stretch. Yes there's a fight eventually but it's much more about the societal issue presented and making friends with some cute banter that you'd expect from a light hearted show. The fight is barely a fight and is over quickly so it just... comes across as something you'd see in any magical school show. Not necessarily bad but not in the genre TOH claims to be. Covention is very similar where there's not actually any real adventure element as it just does some world building until its fight scene mostly. Even then, besides a quip, the fight itself isn't funny.
And mind you, SOME genre blending is actually a good thing. A comedy knowing when to slow down for a serious moment is good. Times for a party to breathe in town can lead to great chances for sides of characters you otherwise wouldn't see. There's a genuine back and forth to be had there.
But it shouldn't ALWAYS be contrasting like that, especially with your main character. Luz actually has VERY little to do with the comedy side of the show. Almost always, there's a moment or two in an episode but the majority of the comedy is either through comic relief characters or explicitly through the B plots. She does just enough comedy to get her character across (which is part of why it fades from her so much in S2B) but no more. Sometimes, she's even gone from the adventure elements too because Luz is too caught up in romance or drama or slice of life stuff to even be put in peril, or isn't until the very end. Like Hunting Palisman has a couple cute jokes but it's mostly a serious affair... except for giving Hunter shit. Otherwise, the show honestly treats Luz mostly seriously. She isn't funny to me as much as she is cute when it comes to how she's trying to express herself which is fine for an adventure, much more questionable for something specifically branded as a COMEDY adventure.
But if it's not the greatest comedy, what genre fits TOH? Was it just listed wrong? Well, pretty much EVERY genre falls into this sort of problem with TOH. It's not a great slice of life because it's not inventive enough to make many of these situations interesting. It's most archtypical episodes are considered some of its worst. It's not a great adventure because the action is pretty meh most of the time and there is zero threat to the main characters so there's no tension. No threat/tension means it's also not good horror. It spends a LOT of time on romance but all of its romances are bland and samey and when they are together as a couple, they often struggle to do anymore than fluff. As a drama, there's never any consequences to anything so the angst feels hollow as it just makes an episode feel bad then moves on. And finally, as a fantasy show, its magic is really basic, kind of boring and there's nothing unique to its world or rules that don't make it feel like it's not just the modern world with more teeth and that's not great fantasy.
The best stories know what they aren't as much they know what they are. Genre blending is a good thing but there's a point at which you're just a composite sludge. Master at nothing, impressive at little.
And there is no genre TOH impresses with.
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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
A Twitter you can follow too
And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.
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embie-the-buttercup · 10 months
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SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 10 OF GREASE: RISE OF THE PINK LADIES
I have big feelings again, I'm sorry.
Just like last time, this is in no particular order, my brain is scrambled.
Here we go:
The scene between Nancy and Cynthia was everything. They're my favourite friendship on the whole show. I kinda wish they showed us what they wrote, but you know what? It's their secret, and will remain that way, as it should.
On the same note: HAPPY LESBIANS!!!! YAAAAAAAAAY! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Thank all the gods of all the realms that Olivia didn't marry that pedo bitch. She just needed to know that her friends are on her side, no matter what 🥺
Nancy slapping him was also so satifying. Such an icon, Nancy is.
Olivia's mom saying "we shouldn't have said yes" was soooo annoying. Like, yeah, no shit. But if you realise that, then at least do something? For example, I don't know, don't let your teenage daughter marry her teacher instead of just crying and waiting for a bunch of teenage girls to show up and do your job???
But at least Olivia's free.
But Gil has a girlfriend 😭 Who the hell is she?
The begining of the race was so funny. Like they were building up for something incredible and then Susan just fucks up immediatelly. Love it, peak humour.
Oh, yeah, Hazel! I was waiting her to be inculded in the gang forever. And now she has her own group of friends 🥺
And her climbing in Jane's window was so cute and awkward. I love their dynamic
I just kinda wish they would've resolved her love triangle too...
But we can't have everything resolved, something needs to happen in season 2
(They're doing season 2, right? RIGHT???)
Nancy and Potato are back together and cuter than ever 🥰 I don't have to riot. Yay!
Rizzo and Frenchy 🥺 also it was so funny that they almost had me believe they're letting them into the gang now
I'm really sad we barely saw anything of Edward this episode. I was hoping they would develop his friendship with Cynthia but I understand that there's only so much thing they can do in 50 minutes 😔
Buddy turning himself in and standing up for himself! My boy seems so lost in tge world but at least he's trying to do the right thing now. I hope he's getting some happiness next season
(THEY'RE DOING A SECOND SEASON, RIGHT??????)
The last song was such great finale. 😚👌 (that's supposed to be a chef's kiss)
But WTF WAS THAT ENDING? Who? Why? Where? How?
I'm gonna cry so bad if they don't make another season 🥺
But even if they do, what do I do with myself until it's out?
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desultory-novice · 11 months
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CW: Serious but vague talk about the complex feelings associated with the loss of a loved one and mourning - both in Kirby and in real life. Some personal stuff and once more for good measure mentions of death and mourning.
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I know I don't owe anyone an excuse for my brief absence, but I was completely caught off guard this year when I realized the anniversary of Planet Robobot fell just days before the passing of my own father last year. No surprise I didn't make the connection last year, but it hit me this year and it hit hard.
I know that they're not the fandom's most popular characters ("most hated" may be more like it?) but I feel almost painfully close to the story of Susanna Patrya Haltmann and Max Profitt Haltmann. For I was also a child who was torn between being really mad at my father for his flaws and mistakes while also pining for this idealized parent-child relationship we didn't have, to the point of often spurning the bond we did have because it wasn't going the way I imagined it. I also had to watch close up as he wasted away, his senses going one by one, till he looked more and more like a fading shell of a person.
...You know, I didn't even finish playing PR until last year or maybe the year before? Of course I knew the story spoilers. But I couldn't make myself play it. I finally did because I felt I had to. And I'm glad, even if finishing it left me with a weird sense of sadness. A sense of sadness that finally came full circle a few months later...
I thought I would draw something for the anniversary this year. Something sad, bittersweet, poignant, meaningful. Something akin to a tribute. But my pen just wouldn't move. I don't think I have the words or the visuals to fully express what I felt about it right now. It's why, even though I really do like these two characters, I hardly ever draw them.
It's this closeness that renders them blurry in my vision.
...I suppose I might as well talk about this while I'm here, but I have this ask in my inbox about the Merry Magoland Branch AU. About Joronia and Max and what happens to them after their souls are freed.
'Do they come back to life?'
...God, I've written one thousand answers to that post in my head.
Part of my brain says the "right" answer to give - here on my Kirby blog where every story has a happy ending or at least a chance at salvation no matter how grim - is "of course they come back to life!" The Merry Magoland Branch AU is a sad but cutesy fractured fairy tale of a story where everyone ends up better than they started! Besides, they’re already souls. What else would happen to them? Just quietly go off to rest? That wouldn’t be satisfying!
...
But another part of me looks at "Kirby," a series that has characters who have "died" and come back to life and characters who have died and stayed dead and I feel like, as painful as it is to those such as the Sectaranza shippers and the other fans of of the implied dead cast members...
...they're not coming back. They can't come back. They shouldn't come back. Even in a completely fictional setting, even in a silly AU, it is hard for me, personally, to make myself change what has happened. What has been done. 
Don't get me wrong, I've even scribbled out a few "everyone lives!" scenarios but I've never been able to draw a single one... I tell myself that if a miracle happens and one day I'm scouted to make a Kirby comic or animated series or movie, something where I get to retell the world from the beginning, I would not have it so the "dead" characters die, if only because they are unique enough that I would want them around to use for future stories. Like Moretsu Pupupu Hour, with its funny Sectonia who is literally allergic to peace. Or that one manga I haven't read where Susie and her father run some kind of puzzle store??
But again, that would be a Kirby I had control of from the beginning.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of Kirby the series for not being so grimdark “realism” that Marx, upon blowing up, turns into meat pasta and instead comes back with a smile and laugh to kick exploding jester balls at people all because you waved a magic heart-shaped wand. 
And I'm absolutely content with letting spunky wizard Magolor mercilessly fight his way back through some sort of purgatory dimension and start life over as a medieval salesperson, building up good karma one microtransaction at a time. I think that stuff is important. (Well, not so much the microstransactions.) But I'm also proud of it for letting some characters... not come back. 
Dark Matter Blade is both a badass and strangely attractive (...just me?) for an eyeball made of dark matter but despite the fact that maybe all he wanted was friends, despite the fact that it's implied he rescued Gooey from Dark Matter and hid him on Popstar to protect him from Zero, despite the fact that he should have become a good guy and was instead used heartlessly by Zero like ammunition, losing the few marks of individuality he'd been able to keep thus far (his hair and armor and cape) he's just gone. He'll never join the others on Popstar. Never enjoy the warmth of a spring day or get to be a sibling to Gooey. He'll never even get to explain things to poor Gooey that they ought to know, and he was probably the only one who could.
It's tragic. It's upsetting. It's unfair.
And it's...important, much as I hate to say it.
Dess secret... but I actually get a little mad when people want Taranza to "...hurry up and find a new girlfriend and stop being in mourning all the time" because... I think it's okay for Kirby to have "a character who is in mourning." I suppose there's no real reason he can't be "character who was in mourning who was able to find love again" but I also kind of like that he's THERE as a character for anyone who has lost a loved one and is still sad about it. For those who haven't begun rebuilding their life just yet.
Gooey is the one who lost someone without every really knowing what he had/could have had. Susie is the one who lost someone and also has to get back to work because that's a real thing too.
I didn't really mean to talk about death and mourning in Kirby (for a second time) but I think part of me had to as well. At least if I was ever going to go back to regular posting. I don't even really feel as if I even captured everything there was to say. Like I said, I don't really have the words. 
But, yeah, anyway, if you've ever seen me politely push back when someone brings up Susie or Max discourse of the negative variety on my blog, hopefully you have a slightly better understanding as to why I respond the way I do.
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poohsources · 2 years
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🐝  *  ―  𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃.   (  just  a  random  assortment  of  sad  love  song  lyrics  that  relate  more  or  less  to  the  topic  of  heart  break.  )
❛  i don’t know why i cry. but i think it’s cause i remember for the first time since i hated you that i used to love you.  ❜ ❛  for you i could pretend like i was happy when i was sad.  ❜ ❛  you said i love you, and i said it too. the only difference is i didn’t lie to you.  ❜ ❛  with you i’m a beautiful mess, it’s like we’re standing hand in hand with all our fears upon the edge.  ❜ ❛  oh, won’t you stay with me ?  ❜ ❛  but if you love me, why’d you leave me ?  ❜ ❛  i thought that i’d been hurt before but no one’s ever left me quite this sore. your words cut deeper than a knife.  ❜ ❛  how can i try to love someone new, someone who isn’t you ?  ❜ ❛  i tried to sever ties and i ended up with wounds to bind like you’re pouring salt in my cuts.  ❜ ❛  don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone ?  ❜ ❛  i wish that i could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things.  ❜ ❛  just make me feel special, and make me feel love.  ❜ ❛  don’t know if i’ll be fine without you.  ❜ ❛  you’re gonna break my heart anyway so just leave the pieces when you go.  ❜ ❛  if it isn’t love, why do i feel this way ?  ❜ ❛  now you’re just somebody that i used to know.  ❜ ❛  how do i start to love my life alone ?  ❜ ❛  goodbye, it’s not the end. and if you need me, i’m still your friend.  ❜ ❛  i might be okay but i’m not fine at all.  ❜ ❛  so this is how it ends. this is what ‘i don’t love you’ feels like.  ❜ ❛  you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye.  ❜ ❛  nobody said it was easy. no one ever said it would be so hard.  ❜ ❛  it’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word.  ❜ ❛  yesterday, love was such an easy game to play. now i need a place to hideaway.  ❜ ❛  but you’ll find the real thing instead.  ❜ ❛  though we really did try to make it, somethin’ inside has died, and i can’t hide and i just can’t fake it.  ❜ ❛  i know i needed you but i never showed.  ❜ ❛  just say you won’t let go.  ❜ ❛  what about love ? what about trust ? what about us ?  ❜ ❛  but i know i was happier with you.  ❜ ❛  say you’ll love me again. undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life.  ❜ ❛  some people want it all but i don’t want nothing at all if it ain’t you.  ❜ ❛  i wish nothing but the best for you, too.  ❜ ❛  you tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down.  ❜ ❛  but when my loneliness is through i’m gonna find another you.  ❜ ❛  so since i’m not your everything how about i’ll be nothing ?  ❜ ❛  what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t care what they say, i’m in love with you. they try to pull me away, but they don’t know the truth.  ❜ ❛  so goodbye. please don’t cry. we both know i’m not what you need.  ❜ ❛  you stole my heart, and that’s what really hurts.  ❜ ❛  i needed to hate you to love me.  ❜ ❛  when you’re dreaming with a broken heart the giving up is the hardest part.  ❜ ❛  it took all the strength i had not to fall apart.  ❜ ❛  i should have brought you flowers and held your hand. should have gave you all my hours when i had the chance.  ❜ ❛  i won’t give up on us. i’m giving you all my love.  ❜ ❛  when you left i lost a part of me.  ❜ ❛  come back baby, please, ‘cause we belong together.  ❜ ❛  because of you i learned to play on the safe side so i don’t get hurt.  ❜ ❛  because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me.  ❜ ❛  i spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself. i used to cry, now i hold my head up high.  ❜
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Things I dont like of Chapter 2 (the rise of solos)
You have heard me say it more than once that I don't like Chapter 2.
After much thought, and internal reflexions (cause sometimes I catch myself being mad or sad) I want to share with you the reasons (as a therapy):
1. There is no Ot7 content. Obviously, it's not the purpose, but if we want to see our favorites together (e.g. jikook), it's hard, and it makes me very sad 😥. There is only content from those who have something to promote, and so they do crossover, or a 2 x 1 (even in the design department).
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2. Chapter 2 is the rise of solos, and maybe the end of the power or strength Army (as fandom) used to have. 
The true face of many accounts that are SOLO has come out. 
And when I say “SOLO”, I mean those who want the artist outside of BTS. I respect all opinions. But, if I knew that was their pov from the outset, I would not follow those accounts. Still, I follow accounts that follow and agree with those accounts... 😓😓 and the fact is that I don't know what the fuck to do, because sometimes I have the feeling that I need to start over and do a clean up, even though that would mean not following moots that I appreciate a lot.
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I'm a bit of a solo myself. We all are. With our favorites. It's logical. 
But I want BTS back in 2025 or 2026.  I don't want any of them to leave the group unless they want to. 
And so far, they have expressed their willingness to be back together. I don't know... maybe they are constantly lying to us... or maybe it's the FUCKING TRUTH! 
As solos become more polarized, fandom will lose strength.
3. I do NOT like Hybe's planning at all. I'm sorry for what I'm going to do now, which is to compare, but it doesn't seem right to me that Hobi, for example, had almost 4 months for it (from July 15th when JiTB was released til mid October when Jin released the Astronaut) and Jimin only 4 weeks. Of course, the solution is to give more time to Jimin (not shade to my dear Hobi).
Let's see... wasn't this supposed to have been planned for a long time? This chapter 2.... 
Didn't Suga or RM have some songs already prepared before? 
Why not the vocal line? 
And what the fuck happened to the 3 songs and 3 MVs that Jungkook was talking to Hobi in early 2021?
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Something is wrong here? Do you see it too?
4. In addition to planning, it should be added that Hybe is being very negligent in the way it promotes its biggest intangible assets: BTS members. I won't expand on this, because I already made a post.
https://www.tumblr.com/hickeyramenjmjk/714301263540584449/he-doesnt-deserve-this?source=share
But I do want to add something. It is good for all of us to speak out and raise our voices in the face of injustice. But we have to keep in mind that the solution is in Hybe now and the radio issue.
In my opinion, it is not organic to make massive purchases to boost anyone's position. I mean, from my pov, the merit is to take the song to the top 1 because everyone who listens to it, likes it, and then "it sounds more and more" and also they buy it. Army is needed, especially at the begining, but can't be the only source of success of BTS. 
BTS members deserve to be EXPORTED worldwide! Hybe DO YOUR JOB! 
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5. Despite some glimpses of change (i.e. Bangtan naked era 😏) some things remain the same, to my own disappointment (but my fault & my expectations).
By this I mean certain very Kpop dynamics, which BTS still respects. Despite their privileged position and sailing between two seas: kpop and more western culture .... I think it's clear to us that where they are living influences their behaviour.
By this I mean all: the subject of women, how they should present themselves in front of Army, maintaining the illusions of the "ships", having  impeccable friends and collaborations (although as drinking is culturally accepted there, that seems to be well seen...).
It is funny to me when I see a lot of my PJMS-moots think that everything Jimin is going to do is always some kind of "coming out". There may be glimpses, and hints, but nothing could be further from the truth. Expectations of him are very high (free him from that burden!).... and they forget that he is one of the members who has the most respect for the elders and for his culture and values. If you talk to K-army they will point out that Jimin speaks with impeccable respect for Army. It's not for nothing that he's always at the top of the reputation rankings.
(Side note: maybe that's why the final part of "Letter" is so important, that it's not written in informal and that Jimin would never sing in that tone to Army).
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There are things that have not changed and I wished they would change. For instance:
- I never expected jikook to come out of the closet, if I'm correct and they are together. But I also didn't expect such a level of misguidedness and protection (compared to other members, with whom they seem to go out to the theatre, football or drinking with no problem).
- I expected Taejennie to attend a premiere together, of some of their actor friends, and they didn't even greet each other at the Harry Styles concert. 
I don't think I'll ever get over this. 
https://twitter.com/taenniefacts/status/1643833776986890241?s=20
Even if you don't think they're a couple, and that it was all a set-up (a bit naive, actually), it's impossible to think that they don't know each other, given that they share a lot of friends (starting with the Paradise family). 
But on the contrary, to cover up what for me is obvious, Tae has over-used certain mass-raising behaviours.... you know what I mean.
- I thought Jimin was going to tell us a bit more about his album, and he censored things for the minors in his vlive. I will never forgive our Jiminie for this.😣
I still have faith in Jungkook's recent misbehavior 😂. Although not much either.... But if he comes out in one pic alone with Calvins, I'll adore him for life and think there's hope for change 🥹
Anyway... the best thing about this era is seeing their talent and getting to know their solo works. Obviously. And of course to see how all the top brands want them...
and  how they show more and more skin! hahahahaha....Let's enjoy it...
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cr: @taebokkiii
Don't get me wrong.  I'd rather 10 times “chapters 2″ than see them go off to military service.
But I MISS BTS. A LOT. 
AND I MISS JIKOOK, TOO MUCH indeed.
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And I needed to make this post, because it's a way to get out the helplessness I feel these months (while I also think about what to do with my twitter experience lately and the rise of solos).
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jesse-is-spiralling · 8 months
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okay so i know that my buddie fic poll is nowhere near done but my hand slipped and i wrote the first chapter of the accidental divorce fic. the idea was so funny to me that i couldnt help myself.
it's called First Comes Divorce and here's the start....
Eddie. “Good afternoon, Mr Diaz.” Ms Daniels – Ella, she’d said – taps a purple fingernail on her desk. She looks tired. Eddie slides into the chair opposite with a contrite smile. He isn’t looking forward to this meeting. “Will Christopher’s other parent be joining us?” That makes Eddie pause, his greeting hanging halfway from his lips. Other parent? How can his son’s teacher not know what happened to Chris’s mother? “Uh, no… No other parent.” It comes out sadder than he means it to, and sympathy colours Ella’s expression. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.” She leans back, thoughtful. “Well, perhaps that could explain some of Christopher’s recent behaviour.” At this, Eddie winces. The beginning of Chris’s teenage years have unearthed an unanticipated disruptive streak, and although Ella’s suggestion that it may have something to do with the loss of Shannon isn’t a new thought, it hurts Eddie all the same. He just wants to be enough for his son, and clearly, he isn’t. “You might be right,” he concedes, running a hand over his face. “Chris took it hard, as you’d expect.” After the accident, Carla had found Chris the most highly recommended childhood grief counsellor this side of the city. It had taken him a long time to open up, but eventually he’d made progress and returned to his bouncy, happy self. The therapy had stopped a few years back, and Eddie wonders now if he should have kept it up. Ella nods in agreement. “Relationship breakdowns between parents can often cause children to act out at school. And clearly this issue with his behaviour runs deeper than something a few lunchtime detentions can solve.” “Relationship…breakdowns?” Suddenly, Eddie is thoroughly confused. Sure, the relationship hadn’t been going well, but that isn’t the point and it’s a ridiculous way to word the situation. Shannon died. He’s about to say as much when Ella keeps talking. “There’s the breakup itself, and then the moving out, the ferrying the poor kid from one house to the other, the awkward handovers…” she waves her hands exhaustedly, clearly speaking from experience. Eddie nods numbly, but he’s lost. “And it’s such a shame, too. Not to make a bad situation worse, but you two really seemed amazing together. It’s not often you see both parents so involved. Usually one is just doing the bare minimum, but if Christopher’s stories are anything to go by, you both really put in the effort. It’s always sad to see such a strong family unit break down like that.” She sighs sadly. “But that’s life, I suppose.” Eddie’s head is spinning. Ella is still talking about how she hopes Christopher will still get to spend time with the both of them and that things aren’t too tense for a friendly co-parent situation, but it’s all fading to background noise because Eddie is wondering if he’s somehow stepped into the wrong office and ended up in a parallel universe. Shannon has been dead for years. There is absolutely no way she has been picking Christopher up from school or taking him to the zoo or chatting with Ms Ella Daniels in the car park. Ella certainly never even met her. And there isn’t anybody else. Ana never did any of those things, and there’s nobody else he’s been even close to introducing to Christopher. “You must be mistaken-” Eddie says, at the same time as Ella reaches across the desk to touch his hand, cutting him off. “I know divorces are hard, on both the kids and the parents. I’ll make sure to go easier on Christopher for the time being. And,” she gives his wrist a squeeze, “if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me. That Buck of yours is sure missing out.” “Um, thank- wait.” Eddie’s brain finally catches up to the situation. “Buck?” (read on ao3)
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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Things about Peter Parker that warms my heart:
- He wakes up at Mary Jane's side everyday.
- He probably took many naps with Torch when they lived together.
- He definitely had/has a portifolio fill with photos of Spider-Man and random moments in new york, specially with the citizens;
- He canonically keeps photos of Gwen, the coffee bean gang and MJ with him;
- He's low profile and has to constantly update his knowledge about cyber security;
- He really enjoys the moments he gets to just sit and talk with the random team-up of the month;
- He used to wake up to the smell of aunt May's coffee;
- He's constantly under the effect of caffeine;
- He has a tired baby face. Meaning he always had a babyface, but the older he gets the more tired he looks and he hates it because the babyface it's still there. It's the John Mulaney effect of "Oh that tall child look terrible!";
- He looks like your random STEM nerdy guy, it gets him bitches and he has no idea of that;
- His best friend (torch) is pan so theres a huge probability that he attended pride as Peter Parker once or twice;
- He and others superheros always keep an eye at pride and others protests to make sure everyone it's safe;
- He doesn't trust cops, but tries to believe it must be good people out there (sweet poor summer child);
- His nature and nurture is kind and he fucking hates it. He's always like "Can't I let it go just this time? And no. He can't;
- Everyone loves him, he's just that guy. A lot people hate his guts because he's also that guy.
- Big brown doe eyes *sight*;
- Has no idea about how pretty he is, has a certa idea about how hot he is;
- "Yes my wife is hotter than me, yes I'm aware about how much cooler she is too but *I* got the funny bone in this relationship";
- Is unsufferable;
- cries at queer weddings;
- cries a lot how much a middle age man can cry, fuck he was supposed to stop that at highschool goddamit-
- Hate's men with passion will get annoying about how much he hates men;
- Easily makes friendship with woman, is the "I'll awkwardly wait them in front of the woman's bathroom" type of guy vibes;
- Bad dad jokes since he was fourteen;
- Was hated in highschool, slighted less hated in college, very well liked by his work colleges;
- "I don't have anxiety I don't have money to afford have anxiety I am currently undiagnosing myself as we speak";
- Hating men will not stopping him from flirting with them what? what are you homophobic or something???
- "Wdym my hair is a mess I just- *checks mirror* oh FOR FUCK SAKE-"
- He is that guy:
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- That's him and Johnny and he is SO MAD about it;
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- And he and johnny are that tiktok meme where those two friends are always on eachother instagram because they always take photos together.
- That's him and Deadpool when they finally got better at being friends with eachother:
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Deadpool does takes pictures of him but they always end up being like that (hehateshimsomuch):
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- That's how he knows deadpool is in new york because he sends him aligned with "this u" meme
- He also does that when they're text arguing "wade i WILL fuckig kill you";
- misspell when angry, misspell when sad, misspell regardless.
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I suppose I should talk about possible/confirmed plan changes to my WIPs?
(Fair warning: I've mostly calmed down, but I don't want to work myself up again, so I'm gonna be writing in a normal tone. I promise I'm not ignoring or trying to make light of the whole thing! I just don't wanna talk too deeply about it. All the love and support to Shelby Shubble & all victims of abuse!!!💖)
First off, I believe characters are separate from their creators- anyone who continues to create content about c!Wilbur has my support and respect!
(I will most probably continue to consume content related to c!Wilbur as well, though I will tag him as "c!Wilbur" now, rather than "Wilbur Soot"- I've been tagging all dsmp characters only as their corresponding CC's names, mostly out of laziness. For instance, c!Tommy wasn't tagged as "c!Tommy", he was tagged as "TommyInnit". I don't want to change my whole tagging system, but c!Wilbur at least will be tagged as "c!Wilbur" from now on!)
None of my writing was RPF in the first place, it was all about the characters- but I'm not sure if I myself am ready to freely write c!Wilbur or fanfiction!Wilbur stuff yet. Maybe I never will be; idk.
So here are the changes I'll be making!
DSMP Superpower AU: c!Wilbur will stay. I was planning to include all the DSMP characters(The 'mains', at least, I'm not sure about secondary characters yet), and the notion of leaving c!Wilbur out doesn't really appeal to me. So c!Wilbur will still appear here!
Temporal Transcendence: Honestly, at first I thought TT!Wilbur would be irreplaceable, but after some thought, I was surprised to find it might just work! Karl and Niki would play bigger roles than I expected, but it could definitely work. Heck, it might even be better than the original plan! So I think Wilbur will likely be cut from TT.
Oshi No Ko but Happier AU: I'm on the fence about this one. Wilbur's character isn't CRUCIAL crucial, but he's still pretty important. The outline of the plot will look much different if he does indeed end up getting cut out. So I'm gonna mark this WIP as a solid "idk" and just work it out as I go.
Rarepair Royalty AU: I've never talked about this AU. This one is a bit funny, cuz cutting Wilbur's character out actually solves some of the problems I had with the outline! The plot will actually work out better if Secondborn Prince Wilbur didn't exist- so he's definitely cut from this one! I just need to find someone new to pair with Karl. (Probably Seapeekay; I have the currently ongoing MCYT crackship brackets to thank for the ship!)
Lucky Star: Another fic that's never been talked about- this one is my newest WIP! :D I wasn't even sure where I was going to fit Wilbur in- a character called Wilbur never even existed here. Well, he did, but I'd deleted him for plot reasons a while ago and was in the middle of trying to find another slot. (Cyberknife is Techno's dead twin in this WIP btw- he's not a replacement character for Wilbur, the twin was always going to be Cyberknife.)
Tome AU: SBI literally only serves as Tommy's rich and powerful family here- at least, up to where I've fleshed out. Wilbur's only moment in the spotlight is when he argues with Tommy over dinner, bc he doesn't like how Tommy "got stuck" raising baby Shroud with Purpled(who found Shroud in a trash can), & is caught glaring at Purpled. I'll edit him out maybe. Or leave him, he's not a major character after all. idk.
Others(Mostly Bedrock Bros-centric): Honestly, I never could figure out how to write Wilbur's character that well. So 'Wilbur' isn't too big a character in most of these. Will likely cut.
Tom and Bunnypig(Bee and Puppycat AU): You know what, I think I'm going to make this half-baked idea into a proper WIP. Wilbur never existed here either, so yeah.
CONCLUSION: The whole thing is a mess, and I'm sad and mad, as we all are, but I'm gonna stop thinking about how horrible Wilbur Soot is & focus on how brave Shelby Shubble is!
I'm intrigued at what removing a single character did to my plot outlines, and hopefully, this will open a lot of new opportunities in my writing. I'm certainly looking forward to how my writing skills will develop after this.
To everyone who's actually read through this; thank you for reading this whole thing, I know it's kinda long.😅 Have a cookie and a hug, we all need it🍪🫂 Remember to drink water & eat something! All my love💖💖
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imfrom-neptune · 2 months
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Rambly brain dump
I’m probably venting actually idk
Maybe don’t read this I just need to put it somewhere
I don’t think I realized that all the shit that happened just genuinely wasn’t as funny as I thought it was
Like it was happening and I was like “lmao my dad broke in a window tryna get into my house”. But let’s be real. My dad broke in a window tryna get into my house. What?? That happened to me? I was supposed to go to a concert that night. I missed it because I was helping to clean up glass and keep my siblings entertained. My dad broke a window.
I freak out when cars pass by my window and get nervous when people knock in the door cause it reminds me of the night my dad had cops shine lights through our windows at 4am trying to see if we were home. And the stupidest thing is no, my mom wasn’t home. I was alone and I had to be brave and deal with that by myself. Because she stayed out with her boyfriend and was too much of a coward to come back and keep me safe.
I stayed up until 5am packing up and moving and leaving my entire life behind. I live in a little house with a tiny pull out bed and a toy box as a bedside table. I packed my shit up while my mom was throwing away my things and yelling at me for not being able to carry things that were too heavy. I still packed my things and I still ended up in this sad little house and I still left my safe place and I can’t ever go back. That home belongs to someone else. That place isn’t mine anymore.
And this doesn’t even only apply to things that happened during the divorce.
I had to have been like six at most, and my mom had my mouth tapped shut while I cried in a corner.
I’ve been locked out on my front porch at least three times. I was maybe 12.
My mom has been throwing out my things for years. It started with toys when I “misbehaved”, and now it’s things that actually matter to me. She broke into my fucking locker thing just to get into my personal stuff and throw it all away. And then she had the nerve to deny it. She threw away my art because she didn’t like it. She took away the apps I needed to make YouTube videos because she didn’t like them. Everything I’ve ever told her I liked, she’s always found a way to ruin.
When my parents found out I was queer they yelled at me about it for hours. Punished me for it. Told me I could tell anyone I wanted but no one would ever believe me. And y’know what? I told my Opa and he believed me. They’re probably half the reason I was so scared to tell him. But guess fucking what? They were wrong. And now they want me to believe they’re soooo supportive? Fuck that.
In 7th grade I was (for lack of a nicer way to say it-) very suicidal and I struggled slightly with hurting myself. Ofc I didn’t hurt myself in a way that mattered, I don’t even have scars anymore, but regardless. They found out about this, and punished me for that too. I literally wanted to be dead, thought I deserved it, and they grounded me for it. Didn’t help me at all. Just made me feel worse about it. I got myself clean and I made myself want to be alive again. They didn’t do anything for me.
I’ve been hit for things I shouldn’t have been. Sometimes I made the mistake of fighting back. I haven’t been hit since the divorce, cause y’know, they want me to like them. But I used to be hit all the time and I’m now realizing how scary that really is.
I’ve been threatened to have cops called on me. I’ve been threatened to be abandoned. I’ve been threatened to be killed.
I’ve been told straight up that my mother regrets me. Which is the funniest (or, maybe not funniest?) thing because I was literally unplanned. Though my mom refuses to admit it, I did the math, and my dad told me. We all know.
And I guess I just find it easier to play it like a joke. But it’s sorta hit me over the past two weeks that it actually affected me and I actually have problems because of it. It’s not funny. I may have had a childhood full of toys but I also had yelling outside my door at late night hours.
And I just played it as a joke because I didn’t know what else to do. Now it’s too late to be upset about it. It’s all happened and now I’ve gotta grow up and pretend it didn’t. I didn’t get the good parents. And I can’t do anything about it.
and it’s so scary cause if they can fake 20 years of love, what does that say about me? I’m both of them in one. I’m every bad thing they’ve done, put together. I’m a result of those mistakes. Am I designed to be as bad as they are? Cause I desperately want to be nothing like them.
I wish none of this ever happened to me. I remember too much and at the same find half of my memory is blank. I don’t know why I deserved this, and it makes it so hard to believe I didn’t. Why would such bad things happen to me if I didn’t deserve it? I did it all by myself for what reason?
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in-omni-scientia · 6 months
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The fact that they're banned has me so intrigued. Please do tell.
Okay. Don't let Volition know I told you this - I may get into trouble for it.
This is a little bit of a complicated story, so please excuse me if it seems incongruent.
Basically, Inland Empire got very into a song we heard playing in... a music tape shop, I believe. I can't say the name, it's banned as well. Perception was happy enough to keep repeating it; though, as you likely know, not all of us enjoy quite the same music. I was fine with it -- it was certainly the type of song you can tune out quite easily -- but others... not so much.
Though, Conceptualization was most certainly *not* part of that group. He loved it. So much so, every time it would play -- even when it was not playing -- he would try to come up with a new rhyme that followed the rhyming scheme and ended with that animal. He started to ask Perception to play it too. Now, that was two different skills asking for this earworm of a song to play. Not fun for those who did not enjoy it.
I will admit -- I directly fed into this, too. The song would play, he would ask me for a fact about those, ah, moréia. And of course, how could I not? I told him every time and he would make a parody using it. And, well, I suppose I also asked for it to play too, once or twice - just while I sorted through things.
Eventually we found the tape in a different tape store, brought it home, and it most certainly did not leave the tape player. Some tried to convince Harry to take it out, listen to something else - though, ultimately, Team Parody won each time.
It didn't take long for us to be polarized. On one end, The Listeners. Notable members included Conceptualization, Inland Empire, Pain Threshold, Perception, and -- I am quite ashamed to admit this -- myself. I was blinded by the opportunity to bestow knowledge on the others. On the opposite end of the spectrum, The Silencers. I believe Conceptualization came up with something funny for a nickname for them, though I don't think I could recall it right now if I tried. Notable members included Volition, Authority, and strangely enough, Electrochemistry, Composure and Half-Light. I think Volition and Composure's involvement had something to do with the fact that Harry would lose one Morale each time the song repeated; it was getting a little difficult to manage. Of course, Electrochemistry hated the fact it would make Harry sad every time. There were others, obviously; Physical Instrument thought it was "pansy shit", for example. Though that's basically the gist of what you need to know for this next part of the story.
There was a noise complaint. Strangely enough, the neighbours did not appreciate the same romantic pop song being looped 24 hours, three days straight. Along with the occasional wild-dog-howl of a middle-aged man trying to make up an extremely bad parody of it with the same concept each time. (Oh, and by the way, this all happened in the span of less than two weeks.)
Long story short, the animosity grew to the point Harry was already acting quite irritable when Half-Light and Authority both made a pact with Composure to just straight-up leave so they could strangle the landlord in peace. Volition was, unfortunately, powerless to stop them.
Yes, the consequences were absolutely disastrous. We were extremely, extremely fortunate Jean Vicquemare was able to get us simply a light slap on the wrist from the RCM. The landlord charged us three months rent and booted us from the apartment. It was non-stop reprimanding from the crownhead. Any chance he got he would bring it up. It got to the point even *I* was losing morale whenever he did. I think I left for a little while. Conceptualization was disinterested, though he was clearly affected by it, too. Inland Empire actually did not care, simply said very cryptic things. Pain Threshold... was Pain Threshold. I think you can gather what he got out of that whole thing. Perception was silent. Anyone else who supported, openly or not, were publicly humiliated.
When I came back, it was very, very quiet. Somehow, someone had negotiated us back into our apartment -- whether it was one of us or someone else, I am unsure; because Volition very passive-aggressively informed me any and all discussion of anything relating to that little incident was completely banned from now on. Packed into a safe and dropped to the bottom of the ocean for the rest of eternity, I think Conceptualization put it. It took a few days for us to get back to normal.
Again, do not tell the other skills I told you this story -- I could be in deep trouble if the others find out. I hope this has sufficiently explained to you our troubled history with the Moray Eel.
Oh, god damn it.
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