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rjchocobi · 2 days

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HOLD STILL, PRETTY BOY, lee haechan

♡ . . . synopsis ; when your pretty boyfriend can't seem to stand in one place for a moment for you to snap a picture.

♡ . . . genre ; haechan × idol! fem reader, oh so silly fluff, inspired by the pictures from inkigayo bts they posted that took my breath away, established relationship.

♡ . . . notes ; i've been writing a lot these past few days and i think i'm over my slump. but i always start overthinking and never end up posting anything. here's to the first post on tumblr! just taking baby steps till i can put together something that lives up to my standards.

p.s also, requests are officially open!

"Lee Donghyuck, if you don't stop moving in the next second—"

Your exasperated yell does nothing but fuel his laughter as he ducks away from the frame of your camera, hands shoved in his pockets. Beside you Mark has given up wrangling his bandmate and stands under the cherry blossoms as you take a few stills of him.

All of your group members and theirs are spread around on the mostly empty street behind the SBS Open Hall. Beautiful pale pink flowers shower you with petals at the slightest wind blowing over them.

"Honestly, would it kill you to stand straight for a little bit?" You huff, putting the lens protector back on.

"I already have my whole day being filmed to be put on YouTube. I think I'm fine having a few minutes to myself," he says wittyly, making you pout.

It's not like he's wrong. He's just so infuriatingly correct about everything, and if you weren't such a sucker for capturing these moments, you would have been equally resistant to having a camera shoved in your face all the time.

"Hey, _____? Can I borrow your camera for a bit?" Jaemin's calls make you march over to him, handing over your precious Nikon DSLR with utmost care. Yet, if anything, he's the only one that understands your awe at such a whimsical sight.

You fish your phone from your pocket next, sheepishly approaching Donghyuck as he stares at the bright blue sky dotted with clouds. You can't take your eyes away from his face—from the sunlight peppering his skin in a delicate glow and making it's already lovely colour appear otherworldly; right down to the moles you loved to map constellations on.

Catching yourself before you could be found staring, you clear your throat. "Haechannie, can I please just take one picture? Pretty please?"

His eyebrows quirk up in amusement but he holds out hand towards you. You blink at it owlishly. "Only if we take a selfie together."

You smirk, seizing the golden opportunity to tease. "Oh, you looove me."

Contrary to what you expected—maybe a snarky reply or equal amounts of nonsensical teasing being reciprocated—Donghyuck only pulls you closer by hooking an arm around your waist, plucking petals off your curled hair. "That I do."

Feeling the familiar heat creep up you neck and towards your cheeks, you lower you head. "You're awfully sentimental today."

He scoffs. "What? Like I need a specific day to declare my overflowing feelings for my girlfriend." He pauses for a moment, staring at your dolled up face, a finger coming to press lightly on the gem sticker shaped like a star at the corner of your left eye. "You look really pretty."

You're practically beaming, soaking in this soft side of him you that adore just as much as his dramatics. "Yeah? You look very pretty, too. Now, hold still pretty boy and let me take a picture?"

"I guess one is fine." Donghyuck didn't let it show but you know he is flustered. Avoiding eye contact with such vigor was a telltale sign. You chuckle, going on your tiptoes to press your lips against his cheek, right as you click the shutter button.

Before you could pull back to inspect the product, he grabs the back of your neck, placing his pillowy lips on top of yours and you positively melt against him.

For all it was worth, you ignore the hoots and whistles of your friends to cherish these stolen moments wedged between hectic schedules.

#🍨 ── 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙤𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 ᵎ #nct #nct dream #nct dream x reader #lee haechan #lee donghyuck x reader #lee donghyuck #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #haechan imagines #nct dream fluff #nct x reader #nct fluff #lee haechan x reader

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matrixbearer2024 · 1 day

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Get Off My Screen Series Headcanons:

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates guys! Currently working on two interludes I'll be posting back to back later so for now- have some headcanons I have for both Vox and Reader! Btw, if you guys have scenarios you still want to see with Reader being alive- you can send those in! I'll try writing drabbles for them if ever.

Knowing Vox, he had snooped around your stuff and files when you were alive.

From sorting your files because of the haphazard arrangement-

To straight up just leaning everything he could about you.

He'd saved a few of your pictures over the time you both got to know each other better.

At the start, he was just curious and nonchalant.

Cuz I mean, he's talking with a living soul?

That's gotta be worth something right?

But in trying to get closer to manipulate you-

Vox ended up actually becoming your friend.

Your sassy and spitfire nature kept him interested, kind of like a game.

You didn't take his shit and neither did he with yours.

At first he thought you were just insufferably annoying and acted accordingly.

Then it would shift ever so slowly to him just expecting your antics.

Then him looking forward to them.

It was a ray of sunshine in his otherwise monotonous and frankly very depressing afterlife.

Also his tiny desktop pet in your computer?

That existed solely because he was irritated enough that you had the gall to download another digital companion.

Bring it up though and he'll just blow you off in flustered anger.

The internet search engines like Google, Firefox, bing- etc. were accessible to him on your gadgets, but not social media.

So he couldn't mess with your friends, which was why they didn't know about him even until your premature death.

Well, they do kinda know about him-

As that odd online friend of yours that you were always talking to or subconsciously about.

Similarly on Vox's end, despite his dumbass being terminally online-

He somehow ends up on his phone even more because of you.

Valentino is expectedly pissy about it.

Especially because Vox won't actually explain what's going on.

Over the months Vox got invested into your relationship-

His on-off with the pimp shifted into a more permanent off.

Like, at the start things would be practically the same-

But over time he'd sleep with Val less and less.

To the point he didn't let the moth touch him if he knew there were any sexual undertones.

Vox didn't see the point in partaking in something he didn't want to be in.

You on the other hand went through your fair share of crushes and blind dates.

Something that irked the overlord slightly, even if he didn't know why at the time.

His possessivenessprotectiveness only got worse after you both started talking via your TV.

He'd slightly wanted to have a proper conversation between you two that wasn't just texting.

Vox was also prone to blowing up your phone at random points in the day when he was bored.

Or when he saw you weren't giving him enough attention.

Wouldn't ever admit it but he likes being the center of your attention.

He's already got the eyes and ears of so many people with his shows and his media-

But you're like the one person he actually feels seen with.

It also helps that you don't let his bullshit fly.

You weren't ever scared of him despite the guy being a demon overlord.

What was the worst he could do?

Corrupt your files and destroy your gadgets?

That stuff was replaceable, didn't matter much.

Vox has stuck his hand in your playlist a couple times when he's busy working.

Mostly because he didn't have the time to properly talk but inadvertently missed you.

That and he'd usually check your playlist to gauge your mood.

There was a couple of times he'd been utterly confused why you had such a depressing song as your most played when you seemed happy as all hell.

He just chalked it up to another one of your odd behaviors.

Calls you doll/dollface by default but traverses into other more endearing petnames as you guys get closer.

You think nothing of it, assuming it's just him playing up his charisma but Vox kind of wishes you would give it some thought.

After all, he doesn't do that normally to anyone.

Well, not unless he's trying to manipulate them or get in their pants.

But with you, it was genuine.

He'd absolutely buffer or glitch if you ever gave him a cute petname though.

It's why you simply stick to just giving him names that made fun of his odd features.

Samsung, flatscreen, TV man-

He's gotten used to it.

But jokingly call him babe or dear and he will die.

Vox also loves your eyes, it was straight up just so easy to read you just by meeting your gaze.

Can and will get lost in his thoughts looking at you but often catches himself in time to stop.

Has kind of deluded himself into the 'just friends' mentality.

Mostly out of his hesitance and unwillingness to accept he'd truly and totally fallen for you.

Vox doesn't remember the last time he felt genuine love for someone and that scares the socks off him-

You on the other hand just legitimately have no idea your attraction to the guy alreardy borders on romantic.

Quite literally everyone can see it aside from you two.

When you get down to hell, Vox actually has to adjust to the fact you're down there-

Even if it's just for a really stupid reason-

He's just the slightest bit relieved you hadn't gone to heaven where he wouldn't be able to reach you anymore.

It's a selfish reason, but Vox is inherently a selfish person so it doesn't bother him too badly.

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #hazbin hotel vox #get off my screen series #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel x reader #vox x you #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #vox hazbin #vox hazbin hotel

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sparklecryptid · 1 day

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A Reveal because the Lucis Caelums had a magical family tree made up once and somebody finally found the thing after it was lost in the archives for a few centuries.

Regis is not even the only person with bastards, he's just the most recent one and it's not even the biggest scandal.

(That would be the confirmation that the children of that one LC queen couple of hundreds years ago were most definitely not sired by her husband, which honestly, everyone expected already because the man was so gay and not even pretending otherwise.)

Noctis stares at the magic family tree.

He stares at it. Ignis stares at it.

The two of them exchange looks.

"Well," Noctis says eventually, "Do you think I can toss the crown at one of my siblings-"

Ignis gives him a look that would make lesser men weep.

"I'm not sure they would appreciate that."

After that Noctis takes the family tree and with Prompto's help carefully looks up the names of his siblings.

One of them lives in Lestallum and works as a scientist at the power plant, Thanatos seems to be a cheerful man with red eyes and that makes Noctis wonder WHY no one has connected him to their father earlier.

The next is Ardor, who has a Kwetter account that is only used to post blurry shots of beasts and daemons that Ardor was hunting and to response to his other siblings.

Which is how Noctis finds out that all his half-siblings know about each other and regularly interact through the internet.

It makes him feel a bit lonely to be honest. He understands their desire to not want to come forward but-

Well.

He's always wanted a bigger family.

The next person Noctis and Prompto find is a man named Ace who is Hunter and sometimes appears in Ardor's photos. He's Galahdian, obvious by the beads in his hair, and Noctis and Prompto share a look when they realize that Ace is married to an active member of the Kingsglaive.

Persephone is next, she's a priestess with a warm smile that Noctis thinks is somehow comforting and threatening at the same time. She is also married to an active member of the Kingsglaive and routinely shows up on her siblings feed asking them to 'please reconsider what they are about to do'.

Jules works in a book store. She has mousy brown hair and bright blue eyes hidden behind thick frames. She looks like someone Ignis would get along with.

Bard is - okay, Noctis has known who Bard is for a while know, her videos go viral whenever she posts her street performances and Noctis knows that Ignis and Gladio are fans. He wonders if he can get them an autograph.

Jupiter is the sister of an active member of the Kingsglaive and Noctis begins to wonder if they're training them so poorly they can't recognize members of the loyal family.

There is nothing on Mercury's page but cat photos that she tags her siblings in with 'this you?' the latest of which is a wet cat staring at the camera that Mercury tagged Ardor in.

Noctis is a little hurt that they all know each other and yet never bothered to come forward.

If he posts a video of the magically glowing family tree on his Official Account and tags all his siblings in it with 'this u?' well-

Noctis deserves to blow up the internet once and while.

As a treat.

(The existence of the siblings gets quickly brushed aside when the family tree - upon study by various historians - confirms that the children of The Star were not sired by her husbands.

Thanatos immediately posts a joke about 'horny running in the family'.)

#all the bastards verse

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smashboydraws · 3 hours

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Don't mind me

I'm just testing something real quick...

Heres a single picture of Kinito

...and when I wake up in the morning, I am expecting this single post to blow up

Good night

#art #cute #kinito #kinito my beloved #kinito the axolotl #kinitopet #kinito fanart #kinito pet #kinitopet fanart

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lyssak09 · 1 day

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Hi how are you?

Maybe this request of mine can be complicated so if you want not to do it, I understand...

Well, what if the reader is the new survivor in the entity's Realm and catches the attention of the yanderes, making them obsessed and in love with the reader, and of course the reader doesn't realize that... What would happen?

The Yanderes would be: Nemesis, Michael Myres, Pyramid Head, Pinhead, Trapper, Leon, Dwight, Felix, Jack.

I only wrote for Michael, Pyramid Head, and Pinhead for this one. I'm spliting this up so this part will have the killers and another post will have the survivors. I have the killers done but not the survivors so instead of waiting to finish them to post this, why not split it up? Thanks to my sister for helping me out with this one as well!! Happy reading

Michael Myers:

Of course, like most killers, he first saw you in a trial.

He saw you working on a generator with Claudette. Her face went pale as she pulled you away from the generator.

You, being new, didn’t know what she was doing and just followed her not questioning anything that she was doing.

Michael took a great interest as a way to play with his new prey.

Even though Claudette seemed to have dragged you away, she didn’t go far enough since Michael appeared out of nowhere.

You had heard him tier up once already, and this was now the second time.

He grabbed Claudette and stabbed her, leaving you too scared to move. You didn’t know he was there, how had he snuck up on you guys so fast?

He dropped Claudette’s lifeless body on the group, looking back towards you.

The fear on your face was amusing to him.

He wanted to see more of it.

He walked towards you, trying to make you move.

Which worked amazingly, since you turned and sprinted in the other direction.

He trailed behind you a ways away, making sure that his heartbeat would fade away, making you think you were safe.

You wandered towards your last two teammates, Dwight and Meg, working on a generator together.

You tried to help them work on the gen, but of course, Michael had to make sure to implement more fear into you.

His heartbeat got closer and closer, but none of you guys knew where he was

That was until he grabbed Meg off the generator and stabbed her.

Dwight ran away, also causing the generator to blow up.

Then it was just you and him.

You froze in fear, expecting him to hook you or just straight up stab you. But he didn't

Michael was confused. He couldn't kill you. This was nothing like how he normally feels. He feels satisfied when killing. But now, he was frustrated.

What about you makes him like this? He had to find out. So he didn't kill you. Just downed you and placed you in the shack.

Right on top of the hatch.

Pyramid Head:

Pyramid Head is a bipolar yandere. He is also obsessive and possessive.

So he is definitely not gonna share.

He is usually a ‘kind’ (by yandere standards in dbd) yandere, but on some days he can be cruel. Not as cruel as others though.

When he learned about your presence, he knew he didn’t want to leave you.

It did not take long for you to get put into a trial with him.

Like Michael, he tried his best to kill all of your teammates before you could save them.

Forcing them into his trails and putting them in the Cage of Atonement when you got too close.

But, if you got too close to the Cage, he would just walk closer towards it, making it teleport away from where you both were.

It was basically a game seeing who would get to the survivor first.

If someone else tried to save them, he would force them to go down and trade with the person in the cage.

He repeated this until you were the last one left.

You were all his now.

You scurried like a mouse, trying to find the hatch, before hearing its winding presence of freedom.

As you ran towards the noise, you saw him standing over the hatch, his terror radius was completely gone. Behind him, a broken generator, that was nearly done, was left sparking.

He had Trail of Torment.

But he didn’t close it even though he could see you.

He just stood there.

You turned to run away, but you could hear the swing of his metal sword going through the air.

You turned back around to see him still standing on the hatch, but he was gesturing towards it with his head.

He wanted you to have it.

On days/trials where he has been pissed off, he is not so nice, even to you. Will he torment you as much as the other survivors in the trial? No. But he is gonna give you the hatch like usual? Hell no

Pinhead:

Pinhead is a Possessive yandere, but he is also very narcissistic and sadistic.

So he won’t share, but he will also talk about himself and himself only.

If you ever heard him while he was talking to anyone, he would literally only talk about himself.

But, you had only heard him talking to someone else once.

Needless to say, that was the last time you ever wanted to hear him talk.

He is sadistic, so he is mean. He’ll purposely tunnel you in trails just to hear you cry.

It's one of his favorite noises.

When you first met him in a trial, he wasn’t nice to you once so ever. He learned that he loves to hear your cry in agony. He repeatedly knocked you down, picked you up, and let you wiggle off, then knocked you down again.

He was playing with you.

Of course, it didn’t feel like he was just playing with you, it felt like suffering.

He did this the whole course of the trial. Only stopping when one of the other survivors runs past him. He’d drop you then go after said survivor for a bit, making you think he’s done torturing you.

Boy were you dead wrong.

As soon as you are about to reach one of your friends to help get you off of the ground he snatches you up and starts the cycle all over again.

Until the other survivors (those who aren’t dead) fix up all the gens and open the gates.

They’ll try to save you but can’t without being hooked or moried. So they’ll have to leave you

What a great introduction to this guy right?

Anytime you had a trial with him you felt so much agony, after the first couple trials with him your friends gave up on trying to help you. Anytime they did they’d get downed, hooked, or moried. It seemed pointless to them.

Pinhead doesn’t understand his feelings towards you, nor does he care to understand them. He’ll just keep doing whatever it takes to get these feelings to either lessen or will do anything for his feelings if they please him.

So you can either expect a sadistic Pinhead or a creepily nice/stalkery Pinhead during a trial with him.

Good Luck

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanon #yandere monster #yandere dbd x reader #yandere dbd #dbd #dbd killer #dead by daylight #yandere dead by daylight #dbd michael myers #dbd pyramid head #dbd pinhead #miss blue writing #ask lyssa

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captorations · 2 years

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i wrote a short taz/homestuck crossover back in 2018, just the IPRE crew running into Earth C, and obviously it’s not up to my current standards but i’m still not sure i’ll ever write a joke funnier than this one

right at the beginning:

and then, lup meeting terezi:

and finally, right at the end, having had a whole year to investigate:

#there was an alt version where lup replied with some absolutely godawful quirk #but i decided this was funnier #also i linked the fic in the replies if you want to read it #i swear this wasn’t me trying to like. self-advertise or whatever i was just thinking about this old joke #did Not expect the post to blow up like this #homestuck #the adventure zone

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storekn1fe · 4 months

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i wish more people were focusing on the environmental impact of ai

edit: apparently these aren't great articles and i should have fact-checked more thoroughly before posting them. i'm sorry about that. i'm going to turn off reblogs for this post.

#edit: help this got so many notes #this was an off-the-cuff post i made at like 1 in the morning i didn't expect it to blow up

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crystallizsch · 3 months

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(inspired by the midnight cooking chapter in the twst anthology manga and also jamil's dorm uniform and master chef voice lines)

(this is also a lil extended sequel to this post i made :3)

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dumblr-account · 5 months

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Linked Universe is not Linked Maze (Part Two)

Well, if you insist…..

Lost Child vs. Shy Bean

Part One

Request from @linked-maze

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked maze #lu hyrule #lm hyrule #i feel like self rebloging is cheating somehow #so i simply made a new post #seriously though i did not expect part one to blow up like it did #nor did i anticipate the discourse that would ensue #honestly i was kinda scared people would be mad at me #so thank you for being the opposite of mad at me #this is another comparison in which i like both versions of the characters equally #might add more #might not #only time will tell

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burymeinblack2022 · 2 years

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this night has opened my eyes.....

#this night has exceeded my expectations #i will never shut up abt this EVER and that's a promise #mcr #My Chemical Romance #return era #mcr return #Wow anna said something #anna's shitposts #gerard way #Greatest Hits #Catgirl Gerard #Did I expect this post to be the one to blow up? Naurr #1k #2k #3k

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catocappuccino · 5 months

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U zee being cool and allat... like she always is

+ two random doodles

#guess my favourite character!!! 😜 (difficulty : IMPOSSIBLE) /j #I love Uzi such a big amount she's like a daughter to me y'all will never understand y'all will neve #WHY IS HER HEAD TURNED TO THE... right?... WEST IN ALL OF THESE 😭 I swear I had drawn her from every angle possible this is a coincidence #reject medibang return to MS paint #oh yeah also what happened to my last post. Who decided it will blow up. Why is it over 800 notes- THANKS? THANK YOU??? I donno what to say #like honestly I did NOT expect that doodle to gain traction but I guess it did so- yeah! Thanks guys you rule🔥 keep murdering those drones #murder drones #uzi doorman #md uzi #uzi murder drones #my art

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redwolf17 · 7 months

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Hozier and romanticizing Ireland, or why the “bog man” shtick should be dropped back into the bog from whence it came

So after a slapdash, frustrated post about the politics of Hozier's music went batshit yesterday, I wanna do a quick follow up about the whole bog man thing, which multiple people mentioned in the reblogs and tags.

Artists are usually known by their names, either the one they got at birth or the one they picked for their career. Beyoncé Knowles Carter goes by Beyoncé, Stefani Germanotta goes by Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift goes by Taylor Swift, etc.

Andrew Hozier-Byrne goes by the stage name Hozier. When talking about him online, most people just call him Hozier, or sometimes Andrew for emphasis or to be silly. Then you have the people who call him stuff like this:

Yeahhhhhhhh, that's just some of what I found in like a 5 minute search. If you search tumblr for "bog man" or "forest daddy" it's almost all posts about Hozier; there's a lot more (and weirder) if you go look on TikTok.

People from other countries romanticizing Ireland isn't new, but that doesn't make it acceptable. Ireland is very much a modern country with modern problems, despite media (mostly American) which prefers to focus on Ireland as an exotic, idealized land, a postcard from the past where everyone lives in cottages and dresses in green and only speaks in mysterious rhyming couplets. Heck, only 3 in 10 Irish people live in rural areas. The other 7 in 10 live in urban or suburban areas, including Hozier. He lives in County Wicklow, which is quite close to Dublin, a city of over 500,000 people and also Ireland's capital.

Like, I'm not saying anyone is The Devil for making a couple "bog man" cracks. God knows I made a few of them back in 2019; one of my old posts makes me cringe because I joked about Hozier and fairy mounds. And you can find old examples of Hozier humoring the gag here and there, whether because he found it funny at the time or because he was just playing along.

Lately, though? When the bogfather/fae king stuff comes up in interviews, Hozier seems uncomfortable with it, even though he stays polite:

Like. Hozier is just a guy. A dude named Andrew who sings and plays guitar and writes songs and is a fallible human being. Artists can't completely control their image, but if you're a fan of someone's music, you should try to treat them as a person, not a mythical creature or a bundle of stereotypes about their country or a flawless statue to be stuck up on a pedestal.

All of us (including me!) fuck up sometimes. But once we know better, we should choose to do better.

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #unreal unearth #bog man #forest daddy #I did NOT expect my prior post to blow up #rip my notifications

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anipgarden · 7 months

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Tropical Milkweed, Its Problems, and What To Plant Instead

I am writing this to atone for the sins of my past (handing out tropical milkweed cuttings to my friends and teachers before I knew better).

(Also let me make this clear I am Floridian I am writing this from the perspective of someone in the United States if you live in Tropical Milkweed's native range this doesn't apply to you go forth pogchamp)

Look online, on TV, in books, in newspapers, left, right, up, down, anywhere, and you'll see people talking about how planting milkweed is crucial, essential for the survival of monarch butterflies. Milkweed is the only plant that monarch caterpillars can eat as they're growing, and the loss of it in our wild spaces is one of the most direct links to the ecological extinction speedrun of not just monarchs, but dozens of other insects who rely on its abundance of nectar-filled flowers to survive. You'll be urged to run, not walk, to your nearest garden center, buy as much milkweed as you can, and hurry fast to plant it in your gardens and be part of the solution, not the problem. The issue is that, oftentimes, the milkweed you leave the store with is a vibrant red and orange, with pointed green leaves, dozens like it lining the shelves across stores all over the nation...

Tropical milkweed. Scarlet milkweed. Bloodflower. Mexican butterfly weed. Asclepias curassavica. This plant is a being of many names, and our culprit of the hour.

'Culprit? Culprit of what?' Culprit of enticing people to buy it under the guise of helping, only to possibly cause more harm than good.

Let's discuss.

Tropical Milkweed (Asclepias curassavica) is a gorgeous milkweed (especially the yellow variety? ooh, that had me in a grip as a teen) that's easy to obtain--too easy. It lines the shelves of stores like Walmart, Lowe's, Home Depot, and even hundreds and dozens of smaller garden stores, and is sold for reasonably cheap because its quick and easy to grow from seed and eagerly roots from cuttings. It's extremely popular with butterflies too--in many scenarios, Tropical Milkweed will be preferred as host plants over other related species like Butterflyweed (Asclepias tuberosa), and its also popular with other species of butterfly, bees, and wasps as a nectar source. It lasts well into winter in some areas of the United States, is quick to regrow when cut back, and doesn't die back for periods of the season like some other milkweeds do. It's eager to reseed, creating capsules with tens of dozens of seeds and scattering across the winds with the help of little silky parachutes much like the ones dandelions are known for.

'Ani, what's the problem with that? This all sounds like its great for monarchs!'

See, here's the kickers. In fact, here's several kickers. Here's an entire mollywhopping of kickers.

OE Infections

In the temperate areas that it doesn't die back over winter (or even, in some cases, where it doesn't die back during the season like other milkweeds), it can become a host for OE. OE is short for Ophryocystis elektroscirrha, and its a protozoan parasite that can and frequently does infect monarchs. As infected monarchs visit different plants--whether its to drink nectar, to lay eggs, or even just doing a fly-by of the garden--they drop spores from their wings that can then fall onto the leaves, flowers, and even any eggs already on the plant. As caterpillars hatch and begin to eat the plant, they ingest the protozoan, which begins the cycle anew. High OE levels in adult monarchs have been linked to lower migration success, reductions in body mass, lifespan, mating success, and flight ability. And that's if the caterpillars don't succumb prematurely to the infection, or if they're able to even exit their cocoon and fly once they finish pupating--deformed wings are frequently a result after infections. Now, OE is a parasite that's evolved alongside monarchs--and monarchs are usually able to handle an infection just fine, but if they're carrying a high load? That's where the problem lies.

What role does tropical milkweed play in this? Most milkweeds die back after blooming, at least once or even twice per season--and the parasite dies alongside them. As native milkweeds push out fresh foliage, its parasite-free, offering a healthy new buffet for caterpillars. Tropical milkweed... doesn't do that. If nothing's done, (at least in my state of Florida) tropical milkweed will stay fresh and green all the way up until the first real frost hits way in December--and that's if there's a hard frost, when you travel farther south. And during all that time, OE levels are building up on the leaves, so any future caterpillars that feed on this plant are doomed the instant their egg is laid on a leaf.

Its not that it's utterly impossible for a monarch to get infected with OE on any other kind of milkweed--monarchs are known for their traveling habits, and the chances of them happening upon a different milkweed plant than the tropical milkweed in your backyard is pretty high. But whereas native milkweeds die back and essentially reboot their system with fresh, disease-free leaves at least once a season, tropical milkweeds are like downloading a virus onto a USB and then passing it to your friends.

But that's not all, either. Time for kick 2.

Migration Interruption

Sit with me a moment and imagine you're a monarch butterfly. You're hardwired to know that as your food source starts dwindling at home, its time to get a move on and fly on down to the family's vacation home in Mexico for the winter. The buffets shut down, you exit stage left. But on your way to what's essentially a season-long smorgasbord with friends, you find... a buffet is still open. You're supposed to leave when the buffets are shutting down, but this one's up and running, lights are on, and plenty of people are there having fun, so you step in to relax. You'll take your trip later.

Now imagine a bit after you entered that buffet, the staff stuffed the guests into the walk-in freezer, locked the door, turned off all the lights, locked up the building, and left.

That's basically what tropical milkweed being 'evergreen' is doing to monarch butterflies in the fall and winter seasons. In areas up north where it can stay growing far later into the fall/winter months--or worse, in the south, where it can basically be evergreen until a hard frost (if one even happens), it can interrupt the monarchs' iconic migration cycle. They'll stay in place and continue breeding, living life like they aren't supposed to be a country away--until a frost hits, and they're dead in a snap. And if there's not a frost, you're getting a bunch of OE spore-ridden monarchs flying around a bunch of OE spore-ridden milkweed plants that the butterflies who followed the rules and overwintered in Mexico are gonna be returning to. POV you're starting a family in a house so laden with asbestos and black mold that there's practically black dust floating around.

This is already pretty bad. Can it get worse? Absolutely. Kick number 3.

It's Pretty Invasive (in the US)

It's fast growing, its eager to go to seed (so eager that it can flower and produce seed at the same time), its growing all throughout winter--which would be great, if it were native to the United States. Unfortunately, it isn't! As one could imply from the name, Mexican butterfly weed is native to--well--Mexico, as well as the Caribbean, South America, and Central America.

Further North into the states, and it's more of an annual--a plant that lasts maybe a year tops, dies back permanently, and you go buy more next year, or start from seed. Further south? It's a perennial, baby--which means its got even more time to spread its seeds and really thrive in the warmer climates of places like Florida, Texas, California, etc. Not to mention, as climate change makes temperatures rise, places where tropical milkweed is an annual may quickly begin seeing it stand strong all year...

I won't pretend to be a Professional Milkweed Identifier. I'm getting better at it with time, but I'm not a pro. But most of the time I go outside and I go 'oh, that's a milkweed!' its tropical milkweed. I've seen it grow in the sidewalk cracks of a gardening store I go to--its a clean four feet tall, always flowering, always making seeds. Tropical Milkweed is eager to escape the confines of your backyard, or make more plants in your backyard--I started with 5 plants one year, and the next year I had seven, then twelve, and that's just the ones that didn't get mowed over in the seedling stage...

But wait, that's not all! Kick number 4, baby!

Toxic to Monarchs????

According to the Xerces Foundation, emerging research suggests that tropical milkweed may become toxic to monarch caterpillars when exposed to the warmer temperatures associated with climate change.

'What the fuck, I thought milkweed was good for monarchs! How the hell does that happen?!'

All milkweeds produce cardenolides in their sap--a type of steroid that are toxic to most insects (and even people). Milkweeds create it to repel herbivores that would munch on it otherwise--except for milkweed butterflies (Danainae family), like our legendary monarch, as well as the queen and plain tiger butterfly. Larvae eat up milkweed leaves like there's no tomorrow, to stock up on those cardenolides and become toxic to their vertebrate predators--except for a few species that have evolved to become cardenolide-tolerant (black-backed orioles and black-headed grosbeaks). But, when cardenolide concentrations are high enough, it's too strong for even monarch butterflies to withstand--they die because of the very plant that's supposed to give them life. Kinda fucked up. Comparatively, many native species have lower cardenolide levels--and don't immediately go into flux at higher temps like tropical milkweed does.

'Wait, Ani, if there's all these problems with tropical milkweed, why is it sold everywhere?'

Capitalism. The answer is capitalism.

Well, actually, its a bit more complicated than that but it's also still capitalism.

The very same things that make tropical milkweed so invasive and such an issue are what make it so incredibly popular to sell. It's fast growing, and eagerly starts from cuttings as well as from seeds--which is perfect for growing tons of plants in quick and easy batches to send to vendors all over and get a quick profit. It's easy to grow from the home gardener too--its resistant to most diseases, looks gorgeous almost year-round, is quick to return in many areas without even the slightest sign of a die-back, and is popular with monarchs and other pollinators. Want to start a pollinator garden with quick results? Plant milkweed--and when tropical milkweed is all that you see available when you walk into your beloved store, it's what most people are going to get without thinking twice. Not to mention, when you hear it starts quick from cuttings, and you really wanna get your friends and loved ones into pollinator gardening, well... you get well-meaning people sharing invasive plants with their homies, like I did in high school. I've been pollinator gardening for around sixish-sevenish years (I think) and I didn't even catch wind that tropical milkweed was invasive until three years in! To say I was mortified doesn't describe it fully.

'Wait, three years ago? So information about this has been out awhile! Why aren't more places selling native milkweeds by now?! Why are people still buying this invasive milkweed and not native ones?!'

It's capitalism again! But in a different way.

Compared to tropical milkweed, many other milkweeds are a lot more... finnicky to get started, or grow in general. Many of them are a lot slower to germinate, are more prone to failing as seedlings and falling victim to things like 'dampening off' or 'too many aphid' or 'the vibes were wrong.' If they do germinate, they're slower to get to size too--I've grown tropical milkweed from seed in solo cups and gotten something about four inches tall within maybe a month and a half. Some other milkweeds I've grown from seed take about a month and a half to get more than four leaves, or even poke their little green heads out of the dirt. In addition to this, milkweeds have taproots--and some are a lot more friendly to the concept of 'transplanting from a pot to the ground' or 'growing in a pot at all' than others, and tropical milkweed ranks at the top of that list again. Not to mention, their willingness and ability to overwinter in pots--many native milkweeds fail that test, meaning that even if all the resources and efforts are put into getting a milkweed to grow from seed, it won't survive longer than a year in that pot. Considering most milkweeds don't flower until a year or so into their growth, and it's easier to sell plants that are flowering... many plants are a tough sell.

Another reason? Some native milkweeds are way more picky about when they want to make seed pods, or what conditions their seeds want to be grown in. If the seeds are hard to obtain? Good luck growing them in a production greenhouse. Let alone finding seeds for sale to grow them yourself at home--in my hunt for native milkweed species, I've seen packets of ten seeds sold for twenty bucks, packets of 25 seeds sold for anywhere from 50 to 100--meanwhile, you can find dozens if not hundreds of tropical milkweed seeds sold in a pack for maybe a dollar or five.

Let's be real. Producers haven't figured out the magic ticket to pumping out native milkweeds like they have with tropical milkweed--as such, finding native milkweeds for sale is rare, and they're often pricier. And as someone who's been to a native plant sale and found the stands sold out of milkweeds not even 30 minutes into the event--you are likely not the only person wanting native milkweeds. It is war out there in the garden parties.

And that's assuming you've actually found native milkweed for sale! As you get better with milkweed IDs, you'll be able to clearly identify the liars who are telling you they've got something that they don't, but for those who aren't In The Know--if you see a milkweed labeled like a native milkweed and want to buy native milkweed, it might be too late by the time you realize you just got sold tropical milkweed with a mislabel. Whether its on accident or on purpose, it still bites.

I've asked some of my favorite, smaller greenhouses if they'd be willing to start selling native milkweeds. Most of the time I get an exasperated 'I would love to.' But they can only sell what the vendors can produce--so if they can't find a vendor that's selling swamp milkweed (or at least reliably), then they can't give me swamp milkweed when I poke my head in asking if they have any in stock. Of all the times I've gone to dozens of different green houses and gardening events, in different cities even, to see if they have any native milkweeds I've only had success a few times--one small vendor who only has them in stock at events sometimes (and that's if I don't show up late), and the one time I rolled into a not-big-box-but-not-small gardening store near my friends house after being sad that I couldn't find it at a different gardening event. And the one I found there was the last one they had in stock for the next month or two. Until The Vendors get better at growing native milkweeds, your best bet is going to be growing it from seed yourself, getting a start from a friend, or dumb luck at smaller nurseries and events. It's rough out here, friends.

Granted! Keep in mind! That whole last paragraph was personal anecdotes. It's entirely possible that other places' greenhouses have already caught on, and I'm simply in the shadowlands where nobody's selling native milkweeds except for once or twice a year and selling out within 20 minutes of opening their damn booth. And I've heard tell of people getting milkweed popping up willingly in their backyards by doing things as simple as not mowing. I pray you have better luck than I do, young Padawan.

Now, keep in mind, there are people actively working on this. Whether its a team of university scientists dedicating themselves to a project, or a few home-growers in a sunny backyard and a greenhouse doing their damn best to grow native milkweeds as efficiently as possible for themselves and their friends, there are people working on this, sharing advice and communicating online. This isn't some unresolved issue that no one has noticed. We just... aren't at the end post yet. Until then, we scrounge for what we can.

'Oh no, oh god, I have a bunch of tropical milkweed plants in my garden!! Am I a bad person?!?!'

No You Are Not A Bad Person For Growing Tropical Milkweed

And I'm perfectly honest about that. Because I'm here telling you this and I've still got tropical milkweed plants in my backyard. As that one comic once said, about 10,000 people learn something new every day, and unfortunately today that 'new thing' is a bit sad and a bit untimely. In full honesty, oftentimes in my brain I refer to Tropical Milkweed as Starter Milkweed--its what a lot of pollinator gardeners end up starting with, because its just so available! But! There are things that you can do to mitigate the Damage that tropical milkweed can bring to your backyard butterflies.

Step One: Cut back your milkweeds! At least once a year, maybe even twice a year if you want. This will force them to put out new growth, which will be free of OE spores and give monarchs on it a good head start against the Disease. But for sure, for sure, cut your milkweeds back in the fall--once October hits, I go into the backyard and I snip down everything that's tropical milkweed. Usually at this point (at least for me), the milkweeds don't try to grow back again until spring. This is to prevent monarchs from seeing a buffet and getting locked in the freezer.

Step Two: Cut back seed pods! You would not believe how many seed pods milkweed makes. You see those little green footballs? You wanna snip these back ASAP. Even if they're tiny, but especially if they're bit. In peak flower production times, I'll go out there at least once a week and just do a look-back and cut them off. You can even yoink them off with your hands if you're in a rush--just don't get that sap into your eyes. If you do this, you're stopping seed production in its tracks--and don't forget, these plants want nothing more than to split those pods open and unleash a hellfire of flying seeds all over the place. They'll float on air, they'll float on water, they'll do whatever until they land on a prime patch of soil and get started.

If you see these you're a tinge too late. But also still yoink that off and Dispose of it.

Step 3: Don't give cuttings to your friends. It's tempting. If you're raising caterpillars in a little enclosure and see that every time you refresh your cuttings, the old ones have tons of roots and are ready for a little pot of soil and a name tag? Don't. Resist the best you can. Dispose of your cuttings whenever you go in for a trim.

Step 4: Consider replacing them with something else! I know I already went off about just how hard it was to find native milkweeds for sale, how expensive and difficult they can be to grow--but they're not impossible to grow, and putting in the effort could be worth it! Even as I speak, I'm trying to add as many native milkweeds to my garden as possible--and when I've got something that grows reliably in my backyard, I will eagerly rip up my aging tropical milkweed plants and promptly toss them in the bin so i can put a new, better milkweed in its place. Native milkweeds are more likely to be suited to your environment, making it easier to maintain and more welcoming to the pollinators we gardeners want to help. Not to mention, a lot of them are way pettier than tropical milkweed (in my opinion). Do some hunting online to see what's native to your area--your state's extensions office will likely be great for this! You've likely got great variety--the state of Florida has 21 native milkweeds! Who knows how many your state has! (Not me, I am Floridian, and I am already getting dizzy trying to learn about all 21 of our milkweeds).

Conclusion!

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not gonna be the one to discourage someone from starting a garden, especially a pollinator gardener, and especially growing milkweed. But avoid tropical milkweed when you can--the harms it can cause far outweigh the quick satisfaction of a busy garden it can bring. Take some time to select a native plant more suited to your area, give it some friends and some time, and soon you'll have an amazing pollinator garden that'll be teeming with life!

#milkweed #tropical milkweed #asclepias curassavica #asclepias #outdoor gardening #succulents #bloodflower #pollinator garden #pollinator gardening #monarch butterfly #ani rambles #out of queue #what was it three hours ago that I was declaring that I wasn't gonna write up a long research post again?#now here i am at 3:30 am ranting about milkweed with like a dozen sources #granted this is nowhere NEAR as long as the biodiversity saga was BUT STILL #i told myself i was gonna write today... i meant one of my novels NOT RANTING ABOUT MILKWEED #if this post blows up this is gonna go on my wall of 'posts that i thought of on the toilet that got way more popular than I expected'#there's not a lot of posts on that wall maybe 2 or 3 but its weird that its happened that many times already

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