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megalony · 3 years

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Teacher’s pet- Part 21

This is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series, I’m planning one more part of this series and then a follow-on series. I hope you will all like it, thank you for the lovely feedback, comments are always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @ceres27

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae @k-k0129 @haileymorelikestupid @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug @ultraviolencezs @kdatthecastle @darlindolan

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

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"Carter told me she was pretty, I think he was being modest." A tentative, gentle smile pulled at the edges of Gwilym's lips as he stood just inside the doorway of the neonatal room.

The teacher ruffled his hand through his curls, brushing them from overlapping on his rounded glasses that were perched neatly on his nose. He slowly moved his hands into his jean pockets as he leaned his shoulder against the wall behind him. When he had seen Carter at school, the eldest boy had been talking about seeing his sister and he kept repeating how tiny and slightly weird-looking she was. But he did repeatedly tell Gwilym just how pretty his sister was, although Gwilym knew the little newborn was sweeter and prettier than he had first thought.

"Yeah... she doesn't get that from me." A lopsided smile came onto Ben's features but it was overshadowed by the exhaustion clearly shown on his face. His eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles underneath them and his pupils were bleak and strained.

Constantly switching between home and the hospital everyday and worrying too much to sleep was taking a toll on Ben and it was clear to anyone who looked at him. But he was trying and he could do little else right now.

"So, how's she doing?"

It felt nerve-wrecking for Gwilym to approach Ben, he didn't want to feel like he was intruding on personal space or being around when he wasn't wanted. But when he stood beside Ben, he could feel a wave of calm washing over them both when their eyes were both staring down at the newborn in front of them. The little girl was fast asleep with one of her mitten-clad hands pressed against her button nose like she had fallen asleep in the middle of scratching her nose.

Ben and Gwilym had known each other for years, they had been through a lot together and during the period where Ben had to go to court against Lucy, Gwilym had been there through it all.

But this was different.

Gwilym had never seen Ben in a situation where he was close to losing someone dear to him. He had never witnessed Ben where he was worried about turning up to the hospital and finding his partner had passed away or gotten worse whilst he wasn't there. And when Ben was here with (Y/n), he was still worrying that something was going to happen or go wrong and she was going to get worse. (Y/n) was part of Ben's world now, she meant everything to him just like his boys and now his daughter. Losing any one of them would crush Ben to pieces and he didn't like how close he had come so far to losing (Y/n).

"She's doing great, another week or so and I can take her home." Ben leaned his hip against the incubator as he stared down adoringly at his little girl. He was desperate to get her home and out of this incubator so she could be cuddled and fed and washed and dressed properly. He wanted her to sleep in her cot and be surrounded by her family and just held and nutured rather than being kept cooped up in here like she was still in the womb waiting to be born.

But at the same time, Ben didn't want to take her home if (Y/n) wasn't going to be there with him. He couldn't look after a newborn as well as three young boys on his own. And if Ben did take her home without (Y/n), he would be doing everything without her, (Y/n) wouldn't be there to put their daughter in her cot for the first time. She wouldn't be there to wash her or dress her or get her up during the night. She would miss out on everything and Ben didn't want to do any of this on his own, he'd done that with all his boys, it had to be different with his daughter.

"It... it doesn't feel like a week since she was born, you know? It's like, two hours ago I was holding (Y/n) and she was born. A whole week and (Y/n) hasn't even seen her yet."

It hurt and scared Ben to think that it had been seven days since his daughter had been born. Seven whole days and she and (Y/n) were still cooped up in the hospital, when he had the boys three days was the longest they had been in hospital before coming home. And (Y/n) hadn't even set eyes on her baby yet, nor did they have a name or even a birth certificate for her. It was like time inside the hospital had completely stopped but when Ben left, time raced past him without his consent.

"I know, it barely feels like a year since you were both starting to go out together. Why don't we go visit (Y/n), I haven't seen her yet." Gwilym rested his hand on Ben's shoulder, his eyes lingering on the newborn in front of him before he looked at Ben.

When (Y/n) went into labour, the last time Gwilym had seen her was when he helped her get into the car and whispered that she would be fine. Since then he hadn't visited (Y/n), he still had to go to work and with how ill she had been, he didn't want to intrude. (Y/n) needed her family around her and as much as Gwilym thought of her as his family, he wasn't immediate family and therefore decided it was better to simply get updates from Ben. But it had been a week now and Gwilym wanted to see her and see how she was.

Ben took a deep breath before he nodded in agreement. He had held his daughter this morning and spent the morning here with her, it was about time he went down to see (Y/n).

Moving his hand, Ben slipped his hand into the incubator and gently brushed his finger against his girl's cheek, smiling down at her before he and Gwilym turned and left the room of sleeping newborns.

A comfortable silence enveloped the pair as they walked down the halls to reach (Y/n)'s ward, but a look of fright took over Ben's face when he looked towards (Y/n)'s room. Doctor Mills was stood outside her room with another doctor that Ben didn't recognise. The doctor was never normally here at this time, for the past few days he visited (Y/n) early in the morning and later on in the afternoon and if he didn't visit then it was just a nurse. No one should be here right now.

"Doctor Mills, is everything okay?" Ben's voice was packed with nerves but there was a sense of apprehension in his voice. He didn't know what the doctor was going to say or if anything was wrong with (Y/n) and Ben couldn't take any more bad news or set backs right now.

When they approached the room, Ben leaned to try and look into (Y/n)'s room and catch a glimpse of her but all he could manage to see was two nurses in the room with her. If they were in there with (Y/n) and there were two doctors talking about her outside, something was clearly going on.

"Ben, good I was just about to call you."

"Is she okay?" The panic was clear in Ben's voice but there was anger in his eyes. (Y/n) had been through enough, Ben didn't know how much more she could take.

"I came to check on her this morning and she's improved, we've been running tests and (Y/n)'s lungs have improved enough for her to breathe on her own without the ventilator. We're about to take her off the ventilator now, I was going to call so you could be here when we do that."

Doctor Mills had told Ben yesterday that (Y/n) seemed to be getting stronger but they couldn't take her off the sedatives because she was still weak and would panic about the ventilator. But to know they were going to try and get her to breathe on her own brought tears to Ben's eyes because it meant she was actually recovering. Once she could breathe on her own she should start to eat and drink and get better enough to go home if the sepsis didn't develop any worse.

"You- you mean it? What about the sepsis?"

"Her infection has cleared up and the sepsis is finally starting to receed as well. We have to keep her on antibiotics for another week or so just to be on the safe side and it will take a few weeks for her to fully recover. But if all goes well, she won't have to be in hospital for much longer."

Gwilym reached over and patted Ben's shoulder when he saw the tears forming in his friend's eyes. Ben had been so deaperate to hear news like this but he didn't think it would ever come. (Y/n) still didn't look well and none of the doctors could give Ben an answer as to if she might recover soon or if she was getting worse or not. To finally be told that (Y/n) was starting to get better and her recovery was now going to start, made Ben elated because he could finally stop worrying that he was getting close to losing her.

"Thank you." Ben ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as he tried to catch his own breath. He couldn't believe it, (Y/n) would be able to talk and be awake and look at him properly in a couple of hours instead of being sedated every single day.

"I took her off the sedatives this morning so she will be awake and responsive when we remove the ventilator but I think you should be in the room to keep her calm so we can remove the tube and check her vitals. There is a chance she won't respond or breathe very well without the ventilator so we have to see how it goes."

"She'll be fine, she's a fighter." Gwilym spoke quietly to Ben, smiling encouragingly to him before he moved to stand by the window. There couldn't be too many people in the room and Gwilym knew he wouldn't be of much use but he didn't want to go home, he had to know how (Y/n) got on. And if he stayed out here then at least he could watch the situation and possibly talk to (Y/n) if everything went okay.

Ben nodded with a fearful smile before he headed into the room when Doctor Mills motioned for him to go first.

The moment Ben entered the room, his eyes locked with (Y/n)'s and it was as if someone had struck a match up in his heart. He could feel his body tensing and growing hotter as his heart started to hammer away in his chest. (Y/n)'s eyes were full of so many emotions, there was surprise, fear, pain but there was such a sparkle in her tired eyes that made Ben smile. He couldn't remember the last time he looked into her eyes.

"Baby, oh baby you're awake." Ben breathed through his words and when he stood beside (Y/n) he could feel her hand immediately reaching out for his. He interlocked their fingers together and brushed his free hand through her hair slowly and methodically to try and calm her down.

He could see the panic in her eyes, it was clear she hadn't been conscious for very long and she was typically going to be scared and confused. She didn't know how long she had been sedated for or what was happening and the fact that there was a tube stuck down her throat was clearly scaring the living daylights out of her. Ben had to calm her down so that they could help her and remove the tube so she could breathe on her own.

"Shh, you're okay, baby everything's gonna be just fine. The doctor's here to help you."

"Okay (Y/n), we understand this is confusing and worrying for you but you are doing very well. This tube is to help you breathe but I can remove it now, it's going to be uncomfortable but please try and stay still, it will only take a few seconds."

Ben kept running his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair before he bent over more so he could be closer to her. He could feel her hand tensing and holding his hand tighter and her eyes were starting to water. Ben hated how panicked and frail she looked because she didn't understand what was going on but she was doing well not to panic or sob or even lash out from confusion and pain.

"Right, let's turn the ventilator off." Doctor Mills looked to the nurse behind him who nodded before turning off the machine which would give them chance to see if (Y/n) was still able to breathe first. Even with the tube down her throat.

The exact moment the oxygen stopped pushing into her lungs, it was as if (Y/n) had been given an electric shock. Her chest jolted before her lungs started to work but it was distressing.

(Y/n) could feel the tube down her throat, every time her muscles constricted or tightened they pressed on the tube and each time it sent a shock through her system. She felt like she was choking and being suffocated even though she could breathe around the tube. All (Y/n) wanted to do was either to pass out or press a magic button and have everything go back to the way that it should be. This wasn't how things were meant to work out.

"(Y/n), I'm going to remove the tube now, just try and hold still for me."

Doctor Mills locked eyes with Ben before he moved to unclip the tube and when he started to remove it Ben moved his hands to gently push (Y/n)'s shoulders and chest back onto the bed. She couldn't try and sit up or bend her neck whilst the tube was being removed even though it was clearly hurting and scaring her. The gagging sounds that (Y/n) made sent Ben's stomach reeling and the moment the tube was free a strangled sound left her lips before she started to cough.

She no longer had the feeling of air being forced into her chest, she was back to breathing on her own and her throat felt dry and scratched.

Doctor Mills moved the small piece of plastic in (Y/n)'s lips that kept the tube stable in her mouth and her jaw clearly hurt the moment she tried to move it and press her lips together.

"Well done, it's going to hurt for a few minutes but just try and breathe normally, I'm going to check your lungs and if all your vitals seem okay we can leave you and Ben alone for a little while." Doctor Mills pressed his stethoscope to (Y/n)'s chest to listen to her lungs as she tried to take deep breaths. "Good, you're lungs are holding up enough that I don't even think you need any extra oxygen. I'll come back and check on you in a little while, if you need anything just press the button."

The moment the doctor and nurses left the room, Ben leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head.

There had been a small part of him that worried that (Y/n)'s lungs would give out or not be strong enough yet after one collapsed and the sepsis had taken a big toll on her. But to see her breathing on her own and actually awake and recovering like this made Ben's heart soar.

"Thank fuck... baby you didn't half scare me back then. I thought I was gonna lose you."

Ben crouched down beside the bed, his hand smoothing over her cheek as his other arm moved to rest over her stomach. He was desperate to cling to her, to pick her up and hug her and hold her to his chest like he wanted to fit her into his heart. But he couldn't do that just yet, she had only just woken up and was still in bad shape.

He didn't bother to wipe away the tears of relief falling from his eyes that moved to watch (Y/n)'s lips when she mumbled something that he couldn't make out.

"What, baby?"

"E-Ella... where's Ella?" (Y/n)'s voice was hoarse and very quiet like she had been crying rather than having not used her voice for almost five days now. But Ben heard and worked out what she was saying and after a brief second, realisation hit him.

She wanted to call their daughter Ella.

"She's in the neonatal unit, oh baby she's beautiful... they let me hold her, she's only four pounds. You can see her soon, and the boys are so fucking desperate to come see you. I love you so much, please don't scare me like that again."

Ben couldn't waste anymore time, he moved before his mind could comprehend what he was doing and he pressed his lips to hers. He could feel that (Y/n)'s lips were slightly chapped like he expected but when her hand moved to cup his cheek he nearly burst out crying. Nothing compared to how nearly losing (Y/n) made him feel, not even the way he felt when Lucy broke his heart and his mind. He needed (Y/n) more than he ever thought he would and that scared him more than anything.

He couldn't let her go, he loved her far too much.

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"Boys, remember what we said?" Ben ran his hand over James' hair, ruffling the strands as his eyes darted between his boys.

Carter was switching between bouncing off the walls with excitement and scratching his hands from anxiety. He was finally able to see (Y/n) after just over a week without her and that made his adrenaline go sky high but at the same time, he knew that she wasn't well and that made him anxious in case she really didn't look well when he saw her.

James was holding Ben's free hand swinging their hands between them as he looked around the halls, having rarely been into a hospital. He just wanted to go and see (Y/n). And Finn was perched on Ben's hip, nervous about being in a hospital but excited because he had missed (Y/n) more than anyone thought he would over this past week. Every day he had asked Ben if she was okay and when he would see her again.

"Yep, mum is still poorly so we can't stay long in case she gets tired and not to be upset if she doesn't look well." Carter's voice was hyper and he held his head up to show and prove that he had been listening and had done well to remember what Ben had said.

"We can give mum a hug but we have to be careful." James added quietly, looking up at Ben when they all stopped in front of the room he guessed was (Y/n)'s.

"Alright, let's go see her." Ben let go of James' hand so he could open the door before both Carter and James nudged him out the way and barged passed so they could get to (Y/n).

"Mum!"

(Y/n) felt her breath hitching in her throat when she saw all four of her boys coming into the room. She moved her arms out but she wasn't quite ready for the impact of Carter and James who both went to one of her sides before launching themselves at her. Admittedly, James was more cautious, he wrapped his arms loosely around her middle and huddled under her arm. He rested his head on her shoulder, gazing up at her with a smile.

Whereas Carter was a bit more heavy handed, wrapping one arm around her neck and the other around her middle before he buried his face into her neck, clinging to her like he thought she was going to disappear.

"Boys! Be careful with your mum." Ben scolded, shaking his head at them with raised brows. He had told them two minutes ago to be careful and then they run in and shake her and attach to her like a leech. (Y/n) was breathing on her own now but her lungs were still weak and she was going to have a long recovery. The boys couldn't be rough with her no matter how much they had missed her.

"We missed you."

(Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes when James spoke, looking up at her like she was the only thing in the world worth looking at; he definitely took after Ben. She smoothed down his hair before pressing a kiss to his temple. Even though she had been mostly sedated during the last few days, it had still felt weird when she woke not to have the boys surrounding her.

"When are you coming home? It's not right without you." Carter pulled back enough so that he could climb up onto the bed and sit as close to (Y/n)'s side as he could. Grabbing her arm and making sure it was still wrapped around his side so he could still be close to her. Even though they had just moved house Carter was starting to think of it as his home but he couldn't fully do that without (Y/n) there. Nowhere was going to be right if she wasn't there with them and he wanted her back home now.

"I should be able to come home in a few days, honey. It won't be much longer I promise." (Y/n) looked between Carter and Ben who sat down on the end of the bed with Finn on his lap.

(Y/n) didn't feel great, yesterday it had taken a few hours for her to fully wake up and feel able to talk and breathe normally. And the painkillers and antibiotics were making her drowsy, doctor Mills said she would be moving very slow, her chest was going to hurt and her breathing would be uneven for a while. And she had to get back into eating properly since she had been on nutrients and drips for a week.

When they knew for sure that her sepsis had gone and she had no other immediate issues she would be able to recover at home with her family which is what they all wanted.

"Is your tummy better now?" Finn slowly crawled from Ben's lap and moved up near James so he could be closer to (Y/n). He reached out and slowly patted her stomach and (Y/n) could see the intrigue in his eyes. The last time Finn had seen her he remembered her stomach being very round, now it was almost back to how it used to look.

The easiest way for Ben to explain it to Finn was to say that the baby was born but (Y/n) wasn't very well, she had a poorly stomach and a bad chest and Finn seemed to understand that.

"A lot better now, sweetheart, have you seen your sister yet?"

"Baby sister is very pretty, daddy said she looks like you."

(Y/n) drifted her eyes from Finn up to Ben as a smile formed on her lips. She knew Ben had held Ella the other day and this morning since (Y/n) was feeling better she had managed to see and hold Ella for the first time. The picture Ben had taken of his girls was one that he was definitely going to get printed because so far, it was the only good memory of this event.

The first week of Ella's life had been traumatic and distressing for them all, now it could start to be wonderful like it should be.

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #dad! ben #imagine #BoRhap #gwilym lee #gwilym imagine #teachers pet #pregnancy

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captain-josslett · 3 years

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Broken Melody - Part Twenty Seven

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 6.7k+

Warnings: Fluff, angst-ish?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Alex and Kara finally leave their cell at the DEO and Emma settles into life at Lena's apartment.

So sorry this took so long. Had a very hard week but hopefully this chapter is okay! Not gonna lie I laughed out loud a few times while writing!

p.s It's been six months since I started posting on tumblr 😅 That went quick!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @crispykidcookiebasketball

“Nice form Alex.” J’onn comments as he enters the gym, watching as she continuously attacks the punching bag.

“Letting out some steam, you know?” Alex says while doing a few jabs.

“Oh I do. Come on, I have an assignment for you.” J’onn nods his head to the gym door and Alex dutifully follows.

“What kind of assignment?”

“You’ll see.” He holds the door open for Alex to step through, revealing Emma’s apartment, with the Superfriends gathered around the sofas.

Alex walks through and they all immediately look up.

“Alex!” Greetings are yelled happily and Sam comes skipping over to her.

“Hey babe.” Sam grins and leans in for a kiss, capturing Alex’s lips. The redhead responds enthusiastically and wraps her arms around the brunette.

“Al-EXXXX!” A voice whines at the pair.

The redhead immediately stops and gapes at the familiar voice.

“Babe?” Sam asks with a frown on her face. Worried about Alex’s reaction.

Alex quickly turns to Emma, snuggled into Lena’s arms. “Ah come on! You did the same with Lena and I!” Emma laughs and grins at her sister. Lena chuckles and kisses the top of Emma’s head.

Alex shakes her head and smiles back. Feelings of love and happiness stir within the Director as she quickly makes her way over to her baby sister. Kara kneels on the sofa to grab a hug as Alex passes. The redhead quickly embraces her other blonde sister but keeps her eyes on Emma. Whose chatting and joking with the group. Her bright laughter rings clearly around the room.

When Alex steps back from the hug with Kara Emma jumps to her feet and closes the gap between them. Launching herself at the redhead and wrapping her arms around her.

Alex happily sighs, smelling Emma’s vanilla shampoo as she buries her head into her mass of wavy blonde hair.

The sisters pull apart when suddenly there is a loud gunshot. Alex spins around, trying to find the source of the noise. The Superfriends gasp and yell. But they are all staring with wide eyes at Alex. Causing the redhead to frown and her eyes darting to each person in the room.

“Al-” Emma's gurgled voice makes Alex immediately turn back. The redhead’s eyes widen at the increasing bloodstain on her sister’s t-shirt. “Why?”

“Emma!” Lena screams as the blonde begins to collapse.

Alex manages to catch Emms and goes to place her hand over the wound. Put instead finds a gun in her hand.

“What?”

“You shot her.” Brainy says accusingly, his eyes blazing with anger.

“No, I-”

“But, you did.” Nia spits out, shaking with anger.

“We all saw it.” Sam’s furious eyes stare into Alex’s.

Alex glares down at the gun and drops it. She tightens her hold on her baby sister and presses down on the wound. Trying to stop the seemingly endless flow of blood.

Emma gurgles out in pain as blood dispells from her mouth and more and more blood oozes from the wound.

“No, no, Emma, hold on okay?” Alex says quickly while pressing even harder over the wound.

“Al.” Emma croaks out. The redhead’s gaze shifts to Emma’s half closed hazel green eyes. Her breathing becoming progressively laboured. Her face turning increasingly pale and losing all colour.

“No, Emma, please.” Alex sobs as Emma gasps for breath. Until finally she stills. Her eyes staring at nothing.

“Emma!” Alex yells, trying to bring her baby sister back. “Emma! I’m sorry! Emma!”

“Alex?” A muffled voice calls out to her.

“Emma!” Alex yells again and shakes her unresponsive baby sister. Her head flopping side to side from Alex’s movements.

“Alex.”

“Emma please!” Alex weeps and holds her close to her chest.

“Alex!”

Alex’s eyes fly open and focus on Kara staring worriedly down at her.

“Alex?” Kara asks softly, trying not to spook her agitated sister. “You're okay. It was just a dream.” Cautiously the blonde reaches out and rests a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex sits up and puts her head in her hands. Breathing deeply to try and calm her racing heart.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kara asks softly as she rubs Alex’s shoulder.

Lowering her hands, Alex brokenly stares at her sister. “I- I shot her.”

“Who?”

“Em-” Before Alex can finish her baby sister’s name she bursts into tears. Hiding her face from Kara.

“Oh Alex.” Kara wraps her arms around the distraught redhead and swallows deeply. Trying to hold in her own emotions that are threatening to overspill from Alex’s cries. She feels Alex’s muscles tensing but soon loosen and somewhat relax into the embrace.

Kara eventually manages to calm Alex down and persuades her to lie back down. They don’t go back to sleep. Thoughts from the past few weeks infiltrate their minds. Instead they just hold each other and listen to each other’s breathing.

The sisters don’t know how long they stay laying there when the doors swing open. Eliza, Sam and Lucy walk through with bags of food and a drinks tray.

“Goooood morning!” Eliza beams at her daughters. “Happy release day!”

Lucy snorts and places the drink tray on the table. Sam is also smiling but it slowly fades when she notices how tired they both look. The bags under Alex’s eyes and the haunted presence within them.

“You guys okay?” Sam asks softly.

“Tough night.” Kara responds vaguely as she sits up and stretches.

Sam frowns slightly and places the food on the table. Kara immediately zooms over to it and opens the first bag. The corner of her mouth lifts up at the sight of the box of sticky buns. She grabs it and zooms back over to Alex and hands her one.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex slowly sits up and indulges in a bite of the still warm sticky bun, causing a little moan to escape at the sweet taste. Sam smiles at the noise and holds out her coffee cup, which the redhead takes with a grateful smile.

She blinks as she remembers the part of her dream where Sam treated her like her girlfriend. Alex’s cheek starts to colour when she thinks about their kiss. In an attempt to hide it Alex takes a long sip of her coffee.

But soon Alex’s mind shifts and is filled with blood seeping from Emma’s torso and mouth. Slowly she lowers the cup and glares at the sticky bun in her hand. Her appetite promptly disappeared. However, she knows it will raise questions if she doesn’t finish it.

Especially from her Mom.

Reluctantly, Alex lifts the bun to her lips and she starts taking bites out of it. Trying to chew even though it feels like she is eating sand and not a sweet, sugary breakfast.

“-you think Alex?” Lucy’s voice brings Alex back into the room. The redhead’s eyes dart between the four women who are looking at her expectantly. They had pulled the chairs from the table over to the bed with Kara sitting next to Alex.

She quickly swallows the food in her mouth. “I’m sorry, I must have zoned out.” Alex says apologetically. “What were you saying?”

“It’s okay, the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet?” Lucy jokes lightly. “I was saying I’m planning to have a housewarming party tonight.”

“We think it will do you both some good, spend time with those who love you.” Eliza looks pointedly at both her daughters.

Sam’s eyes drift down to Kara’s hands, noticing how she is almost breaking her cup with how tight she’s holding it.

“Will, umm, will-” Kara goes to fiddle with her glasses but soon realises they aren’t there, so runs her hand through her hair.

“Will Emma be there?” Lucy finishes for her and both sisters nod. “I communicated with her yesterday and she wants you two to decide.”

Alex feels her shoulders sag as she stares down at her lap. Weighing up the pros and cons for seeing her baby sister again so soon. She is desperate for things to return to normal, but part of her is unsure if they ever can. Emma’s swollen face as she was dying under her hands still haunts Alex.

“Will there be precautions in place? Like a dimmer or-”

“Kara stop!” Sam interrupts the nervous Superhero. “It’s been weeks since there was any trace of R.K in your system. You’ve proven over and over that you both are of sound mind.”

“And if it makes you feel any better J’onn has agreed to watch over you.” Eliza takes a deep breath as Sam slouches back into her chair. “But Sam is right. You both need to start moving forward. The three of you need each other.”

Alex lifts her head and focuses on Kara. They silently communicate, something that used to drive Eliza up the wall. Especially how easily Alex and Emma could know what each other were thinking with just a quick glance. Regularly plotting pranks and mischief.

The sisters look back at the three women and they nod.

“Great! It’s gonna be really chilled! A few games, food, that kind of thing.” Lucy says eagly, waving her hand around to emphasise her point. The sister’s just nod again, their expressions remain hesitant.

Eliza silently sighs as she finishes her croissant. Disappointment spread across her heart. She had been so hopeful after witnessing her daughters’ interaction the other day.

‘Just a small step back.’ Eliza tries to reassure herself. She has been seeing her own therapist to work through the emotions and trauma she experienced. Wanting to be there for her daughters.

Sam tips her head back as she drains the last of her drink and throws it across the room at the bin. It lands perfectly inside causing a smile to grace Alex’s face.

“Bet you can’t do that again?” Alex challenges and hands Sam her empty cup.

“Alex, you know it’s completely useless to bet against a Kryptonian? Right?” Kara rolls her eyes and chuckles at her sister, who just shrugs and watches Sam.

“I need to know what we’re betting on.” Sam twirls the cup in her hand.

“How about dinner?” Lucy suggests before taking a big bite of her bear claw, challenging Alex’s glare.

Sam raises an eyebrow at the redhead. “I make the shot you pay for dinner?”

“You miss the shot, then you pay for dinner.” Alex smirks and ignores the wide eyes Lucy and Kara are giving each other.

Sam keeps her eyes on Alex as she flings the cup behind her. It lands perfectly in the bin, not even touching the sides.

Lucy and Kara burst into loud cheers and Eliza smiles with amusement.

“Looks like you’ll be paying.” Sam says cheekily and stands from the chair. “I’m sorry to leave but I need to head into work.”

“Aw, can’t you stay?” Kara pouts, enjoying the morning's entertainment. At least something was working out well for them.

“Unfortunately not. Lena has today off and we need a senior member in the office due to the backlog.”

“What backlog?” Alex tilts her head at Sam’s response.

“Things have picked up recently.” Sam says lightly and picks up her bag. “Busy, busy, busy!”

She quickly gives everyone a hug, pausing longer as she wraps her arms around Alex.

“See you tonight!” Sam grins at them before rushing from the room.

They watch her whiz away and Alex’s eyes dart to Lucy. “What backlog?”

Lucy subconsciously shuffles in her seat from Alex’s questioning gaze. “As Sam said, things have been busy recently.”

“But-”

“Alex, it’s okay.” Eliza quickly cuts her daughter off.

The redhead shifts her jaw to the side, not liking how her Mom interrupted her. She looks down as Kara’s hand gently holds onto her, trying to keep her calm.

“Good morning ladies.” J’onn’s voice causes the women to look at the door as he marches towards them.

“Morning J’onn!” Kara calls, waving and smiles at him as he sits in Sam’s occupied seat. He greets them all with a small smile, Alex can’t help but notice his smile widens slightly when his eyes connect with her Mom’s. Or the fact they keep holding eye contact.

“So!” Alex slaps her hands together, breaking whatever was going on between her Mom and J’onn. “Have you decided when we can return to work?”

J’onn sighs and leans forward in his chair. “We think you should take a few more days off-”

“J’o-” Alex immediately begins to interrupt him. Her blood starts to heat up as her frustration builds. But J’onn holds his hand up to stop her and continues.

“-just so you can settle back into life outside of these four walls.”

“And what about me?” Kara’s grip tightens slightly around Alex’s hand. The redhead squeezes back.

“The city has been quiet recently, but, any major incidents I will come out with you.” J’onn says reassuringly and Kara nods. Knowing she cannot go against the other alien.

J’onn turns his attention back to Alex. “We will do daily reviews and return you back to your post as soon as we can. You have my word on that.”

Alex bows her head and takes a deep breath.

“We can do this. Together.” Kara says passionately and Alex places her other hand on top of her sisters.

“Together.”

-- -- --

Emma slowly blinks her eyes open as she feels someone shifting next to her. Trying to get out of her arms.

“Sorry love, go back to sleep.” Lena’s voice coos softly as she strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her hand. Her eyes travel up and down the blonde’s toned, naked form. Grabbing the blanket she covers her girlfriend but gasps as loving hazel green eyes open and lock on hers.

The corner of Emma’s mouth lifts sleepily and she raises her hand to softly cup Lena’s jaw.

“Ek!” Lena yelps as Emma uses her other hand to pull Lena on top of her, kicking the blanket off and curling her legs around the raven haired beauty. “Emma!” Lena laughs and squeals while Emma repeatedly plants kisses around her face. Eventually Emma stops and runs her fingers up and down Lena’s exposed back. Feeling the scratches she placed there last night during an intense moment of Lena using the strap on her.

Lena sighs happily but knows she needs to get up and raises herself up while still laying on top of her girlfriend. Her still very naked girlfriend. “What are you smirking about?” Lena tilts her head, her hair falling partly over her face, causing her to try and blow it away.

Emma lets out a puff of air, laughing at the raven haired beauty and tucks the offending piece of hair behind Lena’s ear.

“Thank you.” Lena bows her head and places a soft kiss on Emma’s lips. The blonde instantly deepens the kiss and Lena chuckles but regretfully breaks it. “Sorry love, I need to do a bit of work.” The CEO apologises and slides off of Emma, trying to ignore the pout and puppy dog eyes Emma is no doubt giving her. One look and Lena would promptly jump back into bed.

She quickly dresses into her underwear, a pair of Emma’s sweatpants, t-shirt and grabs one of the hoodies on the way to the kitchen. Lena can’t help but grin at the clothes that had been thrown around the apartment from last night.

Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge Lena makes her into the home office. Taking a few sips Lena sits and starts up her computer to start working through the many emails and paperwork that has been waiting for her.

Barely an hour has passed and an instant messenger notification pops up on her screen.

Sam: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

‘Uh oh.’ Lena thinks but quickly writes a vague response.

Lena: What do you mean?

Sam: Why are you online and have been working for almost an hour?

Lena: I just wanted to get some work done and will be finished soon.

Sam: Bullshit! I am logging you out of your computer. Go spend time with Em!

Lena: Sam Arias if you even-

The CEO scoffs as her computer logs her out before she could even finish her threat. Knowing there was no point trying to attempt to log back in, Lena stands from her desk chair. She stretches and heads back into the living room.

Music draws her attention to the kitchen and she smiles widely at a clothed Emma who is dancing along to the radio while chopping up some food. As she draws closer Emma lifts her head up and beams at her, making Lena’s knees become like jelly.

“What are you making?” Lena glances at the many ingredients on the island.

“Omelette. Do you want one?”

“Please.” Lena sits on one of the stools and watches as Emma grabs another pan and the eggs. “So, has Lucy confirmed what’s happening tonight?”

Emma nods and places the knife down to sign. “They agreed I can come too. So that’s positive! Coffee?”

“Yes please.” Emma quickly turns and grabs Lena’s favorite mug and fills it from a cafetiere. Placing it in front of Lena, Emma gets back to her tasks of making their omelettes. “Thank you and yes that is good news.”

Emma nods and smiles at her girlfriend, almost causing Lena to choke on her coffee.

Oh don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me

Emma looks at the radio and starts bobbing along to the song as she mouths the words.

I said you're holding back

She said shut up and dance with me

Lena giggles as Emma starts putting on a show for her, shaking her hips and ridiculously mimes along.

This woman is my destiny

She said oh oh oh

Shut up and dance with me

Shutting the hob off Emma dances around the island and holds her hand out to her girlfriend.

“Em! You know I can’t dance!” Lena whines and pouts.

“Oh I’m sorry! Do we have an audience in the apartment I don’t know about?” Emma motions around the room and scrunches up her cheek.

“Fine.” Lena takes Emma’s hand and allows herself to be pulled from the stool. Emma takes her other hand and they start dancing together. Lena feels embarrassed. Knowing she can’t move as well as Emma but the blonde doesn’t care. She wraps an arm around Lena’s waist and holds her other hand, twirling them around.

“Emma!” Lena laughs loudly and lets go of the blonde. Allowing herself to move with the music, no matter how silly she thinks she looks.

When the song ends Emma gently kisses her lips and pats her ass. She goes to head back to the hob and continue making their food. But Lena grabs her hand and pulls her back. Placing a passionate kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.

Although Emma can’t make noise Lena knows how she is feeling by how Emma’s body moves against her. The way her hand gently caresses her face and the other runs up and down her body. Emma has always been tactical, something Lena struggled with at first, especially when she first met Kara. But now, Emma’s touch is everything.

Breakfast forgotten Lena starts pushing Emma onto the sofa. Causing Emma to let out a breath of surprise and grin up at the raven haired beauty before Lena straddles her. They reconnect their lips and start moving as one, unable to get enough of each other.

-- -- --

Hours later Kara is flying around the earth for an unspecified amount of time. She just wants to be left alone to think and enjoys the feeling of the sun on her face.

“Supergirl?” Winn’s voice crackles through the comms link in her ear.

“Yes, Winn?”

“Lucy wanted me to remind you it’s almost six.”

“And where are you?”

“At Lucy’s.” Kara can almost hear the ‘duh’ in her friend’s voice.

“Who else is there?”

“Everyone other than you, Lena and Emma.”

Kara tilts her head in confusion but steers herself in the direction of National City. “Okay, I’m on my way. Does Lucy need me to pick anything up?”

“Nope, just yourself.”

“Alright. See you soon.” Kara ends the link and takes a deep, steadying breath through her nose. Her jaw clenches and she tries to go through the calming exercises Doctor Jackson has taught her.

Feeling a bit more grounded, Kara lands in an alleyway by Lucy’s new apartment. She quickly disengages her suit and heads to the entrance of the building. Planting on a convincing smile, Kara runs up the flight of stairs, wanting to avoid the elevator. Soon Kara is standing outside Lucy’s front door and she slowly raises her fist to knock.

Letting off a few rhythmic, quick taps the blonde superhero waits for the door to open. Hearing someone approach from the other side, Kara prepares herself.

“Kara!” Lucy smiles brightly at her and pulls the blonde into a hug. “You made it!” The brunette lets go and opens the door fully to allow Kara to enter.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a housewarming gift or- something.” Kara fiddles with her glasses and stares at the modern open planned apartment. “Wow. Your place is amazing.”

“Yea it was a steal!” Lucy leads Kara to the kitchen area to get her a drink. “The couple before it hadn’t seen its potential and had aged decor that was definitely not my style. So new, well, everything, and here we are. Drink?”

“Er sure, vodka tonic?”

“Coming right up! Make yourself at home.” Lucy smiles at Kara before getting the things needed for the blonde’s drink.

Kara nods and wanders over to the lounge area where all of her friends are sitting.

“Kara!” Nia yells happily and jumps to her feet to give the blonde a hug, with Ruby right behind her.

“Hey!” Kara genuinely smiles at the pair and gives them a warm hug. Ruby holding onto her a bit longer as she explains the new drama between the love triangle of her friends.

“Gosh! So-” Kara blinks trying to make sense of it all when Ruby finally takes a breath. “Claire is now with Ri? But she thought she was straight and…”

Alex snorts at how she can practically see the clogs working in Kara’s as she tries to figure out the new teen drama. Eliza smiles over at her daughter and they roll their eyes fondly at each other.

“Yaha!” Ruby says happily and kneels next to the coffee table by her Mom. Grabbing a handful of crisps from the bowl. “It’s all the school can talk about! Which is nice since all they’ve been talking about is-”

“Rubes! Save some food for the others!” Sam quickly interrupts, knowing Ruby was about to reveal the mini shrines of Emma that had been placed around the school from dedicated fans.

Thankfully, taking the hint, Ruby stops and passes the bowl around.

“And how’s school work going? In general, I mean.” Kara sits opposite Ruby and grabs a huge handful herself when the bowl is placed back on the table.

“Well-”

A knock makes Ruby pause for a second before she continues telling Kara her favourite subjects and what the teachers are like. She has already told Kara this many times but the blonde Superhero enjoys hearing about a subject that is completely normal and isn’t related to what's happened over the past few weeks.

Both sister’s keep their attention on the teenager as they hear Lucy enthusiastically greet Lena and Emma.

Eliza excuses herself and heads straight for her youngest daughter. Crushing her in a mama bear hug. Also surprising Lena when she gives her one too.

Sam grins at the sight and drains her beer before getting up.

“I’m getting another” Sam points at her empty can. “Does anyone want anything?”

Choruses of no greet her making the brunette turn towards the kitchen and approach the trio.

“Hey!” Sam smiles and hugs Lena from behind.

“I’m not talking to you.” Lena huffs and keeps her body rigid.

“Aww why? What did I do now?” Sam whines and winks at Emma who is watching them curiously.

“You logged me out.” Lena responds matter of factly, causing Sam to snort and lean close to Lena’s ear.

“Well, it seems like a good idea, since your neck is covered in hickeys.” Sam teases, but before Lena can respond Emma, unfortunately, chose that moment to take a swig of her soda. Promptly choking on the liquid as her breath of surprise makes it go the wrong way.

“Sweetheart?” Eliza quickly pats Emma’s back hard as the blonde voicelessly coughs and splutters. Lena goes to help her girlfriend but Sam keeps her arms tightly wrapped around her.

Emma holds up a hand to signal she is okay and massages her throat as she tries to get her breathing under control.

“Emma?” Ruby rushes over, her face full of worry. “Are you okay?”

Emma nods and gives the teen a thumbs up.

“Great!” Ruby yells and flings her arms around the blonde, making Emma let out a breath of shock and simultaneously tensing for a brief moment.

“Rubes! Remember you need to be gentle with the puny humans!” Sam jokes, letting go of Lena and ruffles her daughter’s hair. “Sorry Em.”

Emma shrugs her shoulders and hugs the teen back. It wasn’t like Ruby’s tackle hadn’t hurt her or anything. She didn’t even move or feel like she was being knocked over.

Soon Ruby lets go and grabs a few snacks from the island.

“So your powers are starting to develop?” Emma signs before taking a handful of grapes and popping them in her mouth.

“Yea! Mom’s been teaching me and hopefully Kara and Alex can help too.”

“What came first?” Emma signs and she can’t help but remember the time Alex tried to experiment with Kara’s powers. Emma mainly stood on the sidelines and watched, knowing they shouldn’t but too fascinated to leave her sisters alone.

“My strength! I can lift a car!”

“Only a little way.” Sam bumps her shoulder into Ruby’s before focusing on Emma and Lena. “This one is still a bit of an unknown, being part human, part Kryptonian.” The brunette boops her daughter’s nose, making Ruby scrunch it up. “So we can’t push it.”

“Yes Mom…” Ruby rolls her eyes and quickly escapes to the group around the sofa.

Emma watches her and her eyes connect with dark brown and crystal blue ones. Emma smiles warmly at her sisters, who return it. Although, Emma can see a slight tightness in their faces.

“Go to them.” Lena whispers softly in Emma’s ear and nudges her forward.

Lena watches as Emma takes a deep breath and follows Ruby towards the sofas. Kara stands slowly, as if making any sudden movements would spook Emma. But the two blonde sisters immediately embrace and Lena smiles sadly as Alex hesitantly joins them. Even Lena can see how tense the redhead’s shoulders are. Which Emma seems to sense too as she soothingly rubs her sister’s back.

A buzzer screeches out across the apartment making Emma jump at the sudden noise.

“You okay?” Alex asks as she pulls away from the group hug. Kara also frowns slightly at Emma, having also felt her jump.

Emma smiles sheepishly. “Yea, the buzzer was loud.” She tries to explain and shrugs before flopping onto the sofa.

“It wasn’t that loud.” Alex comments but sits next to the blonde. “So, why were you and Lena late?”

Immediately Kara swoops into the empty space next to Emma. She grins and shakes her head, taking a sip from her drink.

A blush creeps on Emma’s cheeks and she lifts a hand to hide her beaming smile. Feeling a bit self conscious and shy.

“So the move went well?” Alex takes pity on her and asks a different question. She reaches out to play with Emma’s long wavy hair, something she would naturally do, but for a moment she pauses.

Emma nods and smiles as Alex begins to curl her hair around her finger. “Yes, it went very well. She actually has space for me in her wardrobe!”

“You’re sleeping in the walk-in wardrobe?” Kara asks, a bit confused.

Emma lets out a snort and a quick burst of air. Shaking her hand she raises her hands to sign again. “I meant my clothes. She made room for my clothes in her wardrobe.”

“Ahhh. Yeah that makes more sense.” Kara laughs and Alex gives her a small smile.

“And I’m sure it's way too soon, but how are you two doing?” Emma looks back and forth between her two sisters.

“Er, fine!” Kara lifts her hand up casually. “I did a few laps, cleaned, looked through emails. That kind of thing.” She shrugs and settles more into the sofa.

Emma watches her carefully but before she can ask anymore Lucy interrupts her.

“Pizza!”

Ruby whoops and zooms towards the island. But a blur gets there before her. “Hey! No fair!” She yells at Kara who is already piling her plate.

Emma grins and shakes her head. Looking back over at Alex, her smile fades slightly as she catches her sister’s emotional eyes watching her.

Alex immediately schools her expression and as she goes to get up Emma places a hand on hers.

“Em?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Pretty much what Kara said. Did normal, mundane things.” Alex crosses her arms tight over her chest. “Nothing exciting to report. Unfortunately. Or fortunately.”

Emma nods and gives her sister a warm smile. “Pizza? Before the Kryptonians eat it all?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Alex stands and pulls Emma up. As they walk to the island, where everyone else is standing, the redhead places an arm around her sister’s shoulders. Emma grins, copying her sister and lays her head against Alex’s.

-- -- --

The night continues with laughter and banter as the superfriends fall back into the normal routine of hanging out together.

That is until Emma goes to sign something but someone cuts her off or Emma voiceless laughs, expelling heavy breaths, which cuts her sisters deeply. Emma notices this and always tries to smile reassuringly at them, sensing the slight tension in the air.

“Are we going to play something?” Ruby asks, getting a bit bored of all the talking and catching up everyone was doing.

“What game do you suggest?” Sam smiles at her daughter as she thinks. “It needs to be something we can all play.”

“Pictionary? Charades?”

“Pictionary!” Lucy jumps up and rushes to her home office. She comes back with a huge conference board flip chart and sets it up. “Okay! So teams!” She looks around the room. “How about those on each sofa?”

“That ain’t fair!” Winn motions to the sofa Emma, Kara and Alex were sitting on and Lena was on Emma’s lap. “They have a weird sisterly bond and can read each other's mind! And don’t get me started on your team!” Winn points at the other sofa with Brainy, J’onn and Nia on.

“Winn, it’s fine.” Sam laughs but gives him a knowing look that shuts him up.

The teams end up being sofa one, aka The Champion team, name chosen by Ruby and Winn while Sam and Eliza just shake their heads in amusement at her teammates.

Sofa two, aka The Dream team, consisted of Brainy, Lucy, Nia and J’onn. The group laughs loudly as Nia reveals the name.

Sofa three, aka The A Team, which is the go to name for the Danvers. Lena feels slightly awkward, as if she was interrupting their moment and offered to swap with Eliza but Emma’s arms, encasing her waist, kept her from moving off her lap. Eliza thanks her but reassures that she is happy where she is.

“Right! Team The Champions! Are you ready?” Lucy gets the card out of the holder. “Whose drawing?”

“Oh me!” Ruby’s hand shoots up in the air.

Lucy quickly checks the word to make sure Ruby will know what it is. She hands the teen the card and turns the egg timer.

Chaos ensues as Ruby draws quickly and her team starts screaming random words that could work with the lines she is drawing.

Emma looks at Alex and unlatches her hands from Lena to sign behind her back. “Priest.”

The redhead looks back at the board and suddenly sees it. The dog collar Ruby was trying to draw around a stick figure's neck and the cross.

They watch in amusement as the group yell different things and all Ruby could do was stab the dog collar over and over.

“Time!”

“PRIEST!!” Ruby yells exasperatedly and flops onto the sofa in a huff.

“Oh of course!” Sam slaps her forehead.

“Sorry Ruby.” Eliza places a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “I thought it was something else and once my mind is onto something it’s hard to change it.”

“And don’t we know it.” Alex sasses and takes a big gulp of her drink.

“Alex!” Kara laughs loudly and Emma joins her with a few big exhales of breath.

Alex quickly glances at the blonde before focusing on the second team.

“Okay Nia. We are one.” Brainy sits on the edge of the cushion and doesn’t blink as he keeps focused on his girlfriend. Lucy hands Sam the egg timer and the game starts again.

Emma purses her lips forward, reacting to how cute the pair are being. Looking up at her own girlfriend she wraps her arms around Lena’s waist and pulls her down.

“Em!” Lena squeaks as she suddenly finds herself laid down on Emma’s shoulder. The blonde responds by kissing Lena’s cheek and nuzzling her neck. “Hi love.”

“Small person!” Lucy screams and Nia quickly shakes her head. “Dammit!”

“Big person?!” J’onn holds his hands up and Nia rolls her wrists over and over, hinting they were on the right track.

Brainy’s eyes dart over the stick figures on the paper. How each one was getting bigger and bigger. His brain computing the possibilities.

“Do you know what it is?” Alex whispers to Emma, who nods in response. She moves her hands so only Alex and Lena can see.

“Giant.”

“Basketball player?!” Lucy screams and looks panicky at the timer.

“Giant!” Brainy yells just as the last piece of sand falls.

“YES!” Nia jumps up and down in excitement and Emma claps a few times in applause. The others join in with her and give whoops of approval.

Emma smirks as she watches Winn’s clouded face, especially when Nia rolls the dice and it lands on a six.

“It’s got a triangle by it.” Nia informs as she looks at the card.

“Means it's an all play round.” Lucy explains. “Right teams! Choose your drawer!” She grabs some paper and places it by each team.

“Peanut?” Alex turns to Emma.

“But Emma’s the best guesser!” Kara argues but closes her mouth when Alex gives her a look to be quiet.

Emma shrugs and helps Lena up so she can go to Nia to look at the word on the card. Nia smirks at her and Emma lets out a loud breath as she reads it. Sam joins in when she looks at the card as well.

“May the odds be ever in your favour.” Emma signs and kneels by the sofa. Placing the paper on a book to lean on. “You need to be quick with this!” Emma signs at her group.

“Hey! No communicating beforehand!” Winn yells and Emma sticks her tongue out at him.

“Okay, ready?” Lucy asks and everyone confirms. “Three, two, one, go!”

Lena stands over Emma’s shoulder and watches as her hand almost blurs as she draws.

“A gun?” Alex quirks her head to the side.

“Water pistol?!” Kara yells over the noise of the other teams and bounces excitedly.

“Silencer!” Alex claps and Emma lifts her hands in the air in triumph.

“HOW?!” Sam screeches and stomps over to look at Emma’s drawing. “Oh, that’s pretty good.”

“What do you expect? My girlfriend’s an artist after all.” Lena says smugly and kisses Emma’s head.

“Blurgh! There’s children present!” Lucy hollars from the other sofa and a pillow flies straight for her head. “Hey!” She splutters and Emma grins at her.

“Okay A Team, let's see if you can do two in a row.” Sam rounds her shoulders back to look intimidating.

“Bring it.” Kara stands and tries to look as intimidating as the brunette.

“No sweetie.” Alex pulls Kara back down to the sofa and wraps an arm around her.

“Em?” Lucy grabs their attention. “Do you wanna go again?”

Emma looks back at her team who nod for her to do the main one herself. She shrugs and gets up to take the card from Lucy.

But something strange happens. Emma misjudges where the coffee table is and the world blurs slightly. Her foot catches on the corner of the table and she goes flying towards the other sofa. Landing heavily in a heap on the floor.

“Sweetheart!” Eliza quickly kneels next to her daughter whose shoulders are moving up and down rapidly.

Emma sits up and her face is flushed with embarrassment but she is silently laughing at herself.

“And I thought Kara was the klutz.” Winn muses and the blonde superhero shoots him an offended look.

“Well they are sisters.” Nia agrees and laughs with him.

“Technically-”

Nia quickly interrupts Brainy. “I know, it’s a joke.” She places a hand on his thigh.

“Oh! Yes! Good one!” Brainy smiles and nods in approval.

Emma gets up and dusts herself off. Her head aches and her eyes hurt but that isn’t anything new.

“Here's the card.” Lucy says as she hands it to her.

Emma reads it and eyebrows shoot up at the word. Alps

“Yea! Good luck with that.” Lucy snorts. “Get ready Champs.”

“Ions. The Champ-ions.” Winn tries to correct her but Lucy playfully ignores him.

“Okay Emma! You got this!” Kara claps and leans forward. Alex and Lena copy her, ready to make the correct guess.

“Three, two, one, go!”

Emma quickly sketches out a map of Europe, showing the tell tale signs of Italy and France.

“Europe!” Lena yells and Emma does a thumbs up before circling where the Alps are placed.

“Switzerland?” Kara asks quickly.

Emma rolls her wrist letting them know they are on the right track. She starts drawing big, jagged mountains.

“The Alps!” Lena screams and Emma nods immediately.

“How did you get that?” Lucy’s eyes go wide.

“Because they also have a weird, soulmate connection.” Winn huffs as he leans back against the sofa. Eliza pats his head a few times.

“Roll the dice Em.” Alex holds the die out and Emma rolls it.

The game goes on for quite some time with much laughter and tantrums. But the clear winners become the A Team. Winning on the word chandelier that Alex immediately gets.

“I’m telling you it’s null and void!” Winn huffs as he stomps to help clear up.

“Look! Just because they have some weird, mental connection, does not mean they didn’t win that fair and square.” Lucy argues back, still impressed with Emma’s drawing of The Phantom Of The Opera mask and the famous chandelier.

Once the apartment is cleared of rubbish everyone starts saying their goodbyes. Emma gets hugged the most and finally it's her sister's turn.

“Night Em.” Kara hesitantly wraps her arms around her baby sister. Almost barely touching her. “Sleep well.” Kara quickly lets go, racing for the door. Emma’s shoulders slump slightly as she watches her go.

“Hey.” Alex turns Emma’s attention to her and holds out her arms. Emma dives into them immediately and Alex closes her eyes as she holds her there. The images of her dream invade her mind so Alex snaps her eyes back open. Involuntarily going rigid at the memory.

Emma steps back and gives the redhead a sad smile.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Alex answers almost automatically and heads for the door. She rushes down to her motorbike in the garage and shoves the helmet over her head and turns on the ignition. Roaring the beast to life she zooms out of the underground garage and onto the streets. Trying to force the images of a bloodied Emma out of her mind as she speeds into the night.

(Twenty Eight)

#supergirl #supergirl baby danvers #supergirl imagine #supergirl fanfic #supergirl tv #supergirl fanfiction #lena luthor x baby danvers #lena luthor imagine #alex danvers x baby danvers #alex danvers imagine #kara danvers x baby danvers #kara danvers imagine #b!d

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Do you have any good suicidal Sherlock? Or ones where he self harms???

@vg-remy said to inevitably-johnlocked: can we get John left sherlock for Mary after he returns and sherlock grew suicidal

Hey Lovelies! *HUGS*

Remy, I don’t really read many fics within which Sherlock and John don’t end up together, so I can’t recall much in that way. BUT because this fic is looking for Suicidal Sherlock, I’ve decided to attach it to this list.

So, yes, Nonny I absolutely do. I’ve done lists in the past for Self Harm so I’ll link you to those below. I’m going to put both John and Sherlock fics on here, and 95% of these have happy endings, because I can’t do sad stuff too much anymore lately, so I hope that’s okay

SUICIDAL IDEATION

See also:

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Drugs and Drugging Pt 2

Alexx’s Lists:

Suicidal Sherlock

Suicidal John

Suicide Mission Post TAB

Voices by fizzingweaselbee (T, 607 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Mental Turmoil, Suicidal Ideations) – “We would never do that to John Watson.”

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Pen Pals by WerewolfDoctor (K, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Epistolary, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF) – Most people don’t become pen pals by one of them writing a not-suicide note. Then again, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have never exactly been normal, have they?

Too Late by SJBHasADayPass (T, 3,390 w., 2 Ch. || Angst, Suicide, Tragedy, Major Character Death, First Person POV, Unhappy Ending) – Six months after the Fall, John is finding it difficult without Sherlock, and Sherlock is finding it just as painful.

Watching You Die by laureleaf (T, 10,340 w., 11 Ch. || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Suicide, Switching POVs, Sort-of Rev. Reich., Whump) – John watched Sherlock die three years ago, and Sherlock just watched John die. But neither of them are actually dead. Now an AU, with nods to “The Adventure of the Empty House”. Lots of angst and post-Reichenbach feels. No slash.

There’s So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face.” Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.“ Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

MARKED FOR LATER

Interview by bluebellofbakerstreet (G, 2,791 w., 2 Ch. || Punk AU || Past Drug Use, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied Mystrade, Punklock / Bandlock, Fanart Included) – What’s better than John Watson and Sherlock Holmes in a punk band? John Watson and Sherlock Holmes on the cover of the Rolling Stone, and giving an interview.

For The Sake Of Being Interesting by SaintClaire (M, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Suicide / Suicidal Ideation, MCD, Angst, Unhappy Ending) – How John Watson coped after the Reichenbach Falls. Hint - it wasn’t positive.

All we do is hide away by AnneCumberbatch (E, 3,895 w., 38 Ch. || Post-TRF, Depressed John, John’s Blog/Epistolary, Paternal Mrs Hudson, Meddling Mycroft, Hospitalization, Mental Breakdown, Reunion, Fainting, Delusions, Pre-Slash, POV First Person John, Suicidal Ideation / Implied Suicide Attempt) – It’s been 35 days since Sherlock threw himself off of Bart’s hospital in front of John’s eyes. 35 days since John threw himself onto the pavement at Sherlock’s side, his knees soaking up the blood from his best friend. 35 days since John’s world shuttered closed and dried up. 35 days.

Because I Love Him by CumberCurlyGirl (M, 3,991 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Angst, Mutual Pining, Alcohol Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, POV Alternating First Person, Love Confessions, Violin, Happy Ending) – John is lost after Sherlock’s apparent suicide and takes a few items from 221B to comfort himself.

Premeditated by Mazarin221b (E, 4,033 w., 1 Ch. || Suicidal Ideation, Dark Thoughts, Torture, Depression, Captivity, First Kiss) – John and Sherlock are captured, tortured, and imprisoned - and eventually, they realize, there’s only one way out.

So True a Fool by ladyxdarcy (M, 4,963 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates AU || Post-ASiB/Pre-THoB, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bisexual John, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Sick Sherlock, Fluff and Angst, Angst with Happy Ending, Mild Telepathy, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love) – Every pair of soulmates has one listener and one speaker. It is the listener’s job to find the speaker and embrace their bond. John knew the instant he heard the strange man’s voice that he was his soulmate, but never reveals the truth, resulting in severe consequences. (Based on this prompt)

The Violin of Ruin and Favour Series by PizzaMan (T, 5,923 w. across 4 fics || Post-TRF, Sherlock’s Violin, Angst With Happy Ending, John Plays the Violin, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Depression / Suicidal Mentions) – 3 years after the Fall and Sherlock comes back. During that time, John had learned to play the violin.

The Gun Drawer (Ch10) by CarmillaCarmine (M, 5,985 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal John, Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Introspection) – A dive into John’s chaotic mind as he reminisces on the first 18 months after Sherlock’s fall. Part 10 of the The Memoirs of Dr. John H. Watson series

Waiting To Be Known by soera (R, 7,414 w., 1 Ch., LJ Fic || S2 Fic, Implied Bullying, Implied Suicide/Suicidal Ideation, Minor Character Death, Drug Use, Sexual Violence on a Child) – John Watson has been saving Sherlock’s life for a very long time, even if he doesn’t know it.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

bread and honey by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (M, 8,814 w., 8 Ch. || Farming AU || Second Person POV Sherlock, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Therapy, Alcohol Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Abuse, Early Retirement, Seizures, Service Dogs, First Kiss/Time, Happy Ending) – The next thing you are sure and aware of is the mix of mud and water seeping through your shoes as the cabbie drops you in front of the old farmhouse. You do not know this, but today marks the first day of spring.

September 20th by HappyJuicyfruit (T, 10,111 w., 1 Ch. || Time Loop, Angst, Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, PTSD John, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending) – Sherlock keeps reliving the same day. He isn’t very happy about it.

You Don’t Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.

Mental by Boeshane42 (E, 18,128 w., 1 Ch. || Mental Illness, Discussion of Suicide, Drugs) – Sherlock Holmes is a patient in a closed psychiatric ward. John Watson is his new psychiatrist.

Other Side of The Moon by love_in_mind_palace (T, 23,446 w., 7 Ch. || Post-TRF, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the fall Sherlock goes away to dismantle Moriarty’s network while living through different identities and hiding. But then something unexpected starts to happen. After a while of everything going according to plan, he’s suddenly just too late everywhere. Because someone was there before him, and took care of everything. It takes him a while. But then he realises. It’s John. Avenging his death.

The House on Rue des Boulangers by Berty (M, 24,299 w., 8 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Developing Relationship, Hiding in Plain Sight, PTSD, Depression, France, Frottage, First Kiss, Bees and Honey, Suicidal Thoughts, Gardens & Gardening, POV John, Angsty Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, Falling in Love, Happy Ending) – After being invalided out of the army and without any other prospects, John Watson has relocated to a small town in northern France. Now he has to decide what to do for the rest of his life. One morning there’s a mad stranger in his garden chasing a swarm of bees, and it seems John’s decision is made.

(Life is) A Series of Risks by SkipandDi (ladyflowdi) (E, 36,499 w., 4 Ch. || Alternate Universe || Post-TRF, Kid Fic, Parentlock, Temporary Character Death, Established Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief, Violence, Psychological Trauma, PTSD) – The work comes first.

White Tulip by withoutawish (E, 40,624 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3, Copper Beeches / Solitary Cyclist Rewrite, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction (Sherlock), Angst, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, PTSD, Pining, Metaphors, String Theory, Graphic Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock is in love with John Watson. John Watson is in love with Mary Morstan. Sherlock likes Mary Morstan just fine. Sherlock likes drugs more. And most importantly, Sherlock doesn’t like Sherlock. String theory dictates the laws of the universe. But their story isn’t one that can be boxed up neatly, tied in a heartstring bow. "After all, the axioms of homeostasis dictate that an infinity sign of negative feedback can only loop back in on itself.”

Sunday Matinee by hogwartswitch (E, 44,597 w., 12 Ch. || College / Uni 1980′s AU || Fluff and Angst, Movies, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Homelessness, Anal/Oral, Fingering, Rimming, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, HIV/AIDS, Mentions of Cancer, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Depression, Epistolary, Love Letters, Suicide Attempt, Blow Jobs, Time Skips) – The year is 1984 and it’s a great time for movies and movie fans. John Watson is a struggling film school student with dreams of being a screenwriter. It’s a dream come true when his friend, Mike, gets him a job reviewing movies for the university paper. Sherlock Holmes is also a film school student with dreams of directing, but he’s also struggling to get his life back on track. The job at Baker Cinema is supposed to help him do just that, but it’s SO BORING. Until, that is, a young movie reviewer buys a ticket to Footloose and Sherlock’s life suddenly becomes very, very complicated.

Focal Point by PuffleLock (E, 60,913 w., 13 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence / Different Reunion, POV John, Slow Burn, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad Wank, Sherlock in Makeup, Dancing, Mentions of Torture / Depression / PTSD, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Scars, Rimming, Anal, Toplock, First Kiss / Time, Gay Sherlock / Bi John) – John comes home early from a medical conference to find that every once in awhile, Sherlock can surprise the hell out of him. Can John surprise him back?

A Change of Heart by SosoHolmesWatson (E, 65,436 w., 20 Ch. || Post-S4 / Canon Compliant, Jealous Sherlock, Past Abuse, Parentlock, Dev. Rel., Idiots in Love, Suicidal Sherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Mollstrade, Coming Out, Love Confessions, Big Brother Mycroft, John’s Childhood, POV Alternating, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Hand Jobs) – After all they have been through, after all the heartbreak and desolation, John and Sherlock want to make their way back to each other, still convinced that friendship is all that can exist between them. Will there be a change of heart? Part 1 of the The Pains of Growing series

The Improbable Match by elle_m and sherlockianworld (E, 67,626 w., 31 Ch. || Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Violence, Texting, Mutual Pining, Drug Use/Abuse, Angst With Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Alcoholism, Withdrawal, Teenlock, Self-Harm, Bullying, Suicidal Ideations, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia) – When Gregory Lestrade decided to play matchmaker, he did not realise that his harmless plan would change the lives of two damaged people forever.

Patterns of Silver Birds by SincerelyChaos (E, 68,872 w., 20 Ch. || Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Synesthesia, Falling in Love, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Psychotropic Drugs, PTSD, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, First Time, Autism Spectrum, Internalized Ableism, Tics, Canon-Typical Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Psychology, Recovery) – In which love could really be considered a chemical defect and aeroplanes are nothing but silver birds.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

Be Here Now by Todesfuge (M, 94,370 w., 25 Ch. || Post-TRF, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Angst, Action/Adventure, Whump, Suicidal Thoughts, First Time, Depression, Drug Use/Non-Con Drug Use, PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Medical Trauma, Implied Torture) – John Watson was already fighting demons when he and Sherlock met. With Sherlock’s suicide, it all comes flooding back, forcing Sherlock to intervene before he’s solved the persistent riddles of Jim Moriarty and his game. Together they find that something darker lurks behind Moriarty, forcing Sherlock, John, and Irene Adler into an even deadlier game with a much more dangerous foe. Begins six months after the events of The Reichenbach Fall. Part 1 of the Be Here Now Universe

The Paradox Series by wordstrings (M to E, 98,863 w. across 8 Stories || First Kiss / Time, Mental Health Issues, Moral Ambiguity / Dubious Ethics, Angst, Psychopathy, Depression / Suicidal Ideation, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Possessive Behaviour, Homophobia, Sexuality) – In which what’s in Sherlock’s head is never going to get any better, and John is nearly thrown out of his flat.

Will You Take Me Home? by Jobooksandcoffee (E, 114,689 w., 22 Ch. || Post S4, Post Break Up, Angst With Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Parent-Child Relationship, Therapy, Friends With Benefits, Ex Sex, Messy Idiots, Fights, Mutual Pining, Mutual Jealousy, Slow Burn, Mentions of Drugs/Overdose, Suicidal Ideation) – Inspired by the wondrous "Know You All Over Again” by the brilliant Poppy Alexander, it is story of a painful break up. Two men are looking for ways to cope, to raise their 10 year old girl, to find reasons for going on. They need help of family and friends to make it through. Will each be able to do what the other needs? Will they be able to trust again? Sherlock and John must find themselves and unearth what went wrong, so they can build a new relationship.

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all’s right with the world–right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock’s time away wasn’t the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that’s bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it’s not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade

Conductivity Series by liriodendron (E, 207,367 w. across 7 works || TRF / Post TRF, ReunionCanon Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Romance, Sexual Tension, First Kiss/Time, Synesthesia, Power Dynamics, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Case Fic, Est. Rel., References to Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Religious Content, Intercrural Sex, Unrequited Love, Angst, References to Suicide, Injury, Anal, Dub. Con, BDSM, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Sex, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Break Up) – In which Sherlock Holmes locates his heart, John Watson learns what it’s like to burn, and there is no darkness that cannot be made bright.

Define Vulnerabilty by TheGracefulBlueCat (T, 240,606 w. 97 Ch. || Canon Compliant, Aftermath of Torture, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Sherlock’s Violin, Doctor John, John is a Good Friend, Flashbacks, Case Fic, Sedation, Sherlock is a Mess / Not Okay, Nightmares, Big Brother Mycroft, Asperger’s Sherlock, Fainting, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Triggers, Panic Attacks, Hurt Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Blood and Gore, Drugs / Drug Use, Helpless / Vulnerable Sherlock, Protective John, Painful Repressed Memories, PTSD Sherlock, Medical Procedures, Drugged Lestrade, Lestrade Whump, Drugged Sherlock, Recovery, Crying Sherlock, Dissociation, Forehead Touching) – Shortly after Sherlock’s return John realises something is very wrong with his friend. He, Greg and Mycroft try to help Sherlock as he falls deeper and deeper into the abyss called PTSD. But Sherlock is not ready to allow anyone in, but then the events of the current case cause him to hit bottom hard. Part 8 of the Lessons in Friendship series, Part 1 of the Hiatus series

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice/Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (E, 463,024 w., 30 Ch. || Parentlock, UST/URT, Pining Sherlock, Grieving John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Slow Burn/Build, Case Fic, First Kiss / Time, Implied/Referenced Suicide & Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sherlock Whump, Panic Attacks) – John expected to be a father some day; he expected to have the house, and the wife and the nice suburban job. Sherlock never expected to have children, in part because he never expected to make it past 30. As it turns out, you don’t get a choice. Crammed into Baker Street with a baby, John struggles with single-parenthood and his own fears, while Sherlock treads the fine line between doing too little and saying too much.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #suicidal ideation cw #suicide cw #self harm cw #e-rated fics #depression cw #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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doingthingswithphilosophy · 3 years

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Will Buckingham

Writer and creative writing teacher

Where and when did you study philosophy?

I started out as a student of fine arts in the north of England, then took a masters degree in anthropology. Even back then, my interest in anthropology was quite strongly philosophical. When you realise that the things you take for granted are culturally determined, and they could be otherwise, it challenges all your habitual ways of thinking, and this can be a powerful way of prompting philosophical questioning. At first, I intended to continue on to a PhD in anthropology, but I fell ill in Indonesia with some kind of weird, recurrent fever, and this eventually put paid to my formal study.

I got better after a couple of years, and I spent the next decade doing two things: writing novels that I’m now glad were never published, and practising Buddhism. This is when I started reading philosophy more seriously, largely prompted by conversations with Buddhist friends. I spent hours studying formal logic. I ploughed through the canon of phenomenology. I read up on the philosophical traditions of Buddhism.

In Buddhist thought, I was particularly preoccupied with the exorbitant ethical notion of the Bodhisattva: the being who strives tirelessly for the liberation of all. As a human ethical goal, it just seemed crazy. And thinking about all of this was what got me into reading Levinas, a philosopher I still find illuminating and maddening in equal parts. Eventually, my philosophical perplexities led me to a part-time PhD in philosophy at Staffordshire University, writing a thesis on Levinas and storytelling. I funded the PhD myself, just about, by teaching adult education classes in philosophy supplemented by occasional hourly-paid lecturing in the university. By the end of the PhD, my Buddhist commitments had more or less come undone (I now see myself as more Buddh-ish than Buddhist). And I thought I should probably get myself a proper, full-time academic job, because that seemed the most sensible option.

Around the time I graduated (back in 2007), my first novel was accepted for publication. At the time, there were more jobs in creative writing teaching than philosophy, and my own slightly off-beam philosophical training wasn’t necessarily a good fit for many philosophy departments. So I got myself a post teaching creative writing, and spent the best part of the next decade doing that, until going freelance in 2016.

What excites you about philosophy?

I love anything that makes the world more interesting: by asking questions you've not thought to ask before, or by providing new perspectives on seemingly intractable problems. My connection with philosophy has always felt more existential than formal-academic: a desire to get to grips with the deep weirdness of what it is to be human, to make sense of the baffling, chaotic experience we have of ourselves, others and the world. And one thing I have always liked about philosophy is the way it allows you to pull at the threads of your assumptions—and how if you keep on pulling, you find that the whole thing can unravel. I love this in teaching philosophy as well: the moment when you realise this unravelling is happening for student, or when you realise that new questions are starting to hit home.

From my earliest days teaching adult education, I realised that what I really like is doing philosophy outside of formal academic frameworks. This came home to me back in 2015 when was invited to be a visiting associate professor at Sichuan University in Chengdu. I liked teaching at the university and had some brilliant students. But the thing I loved even more was the bilingual public philosophy salon I set up in a local bookstore. The idea was to have a public forum where people could come and chat about Zhuangzi and Epicurus and Stoicism and Confucianism in either English or Chinese. We imagined it would be a pretty niche event, but at the first salon, we had eighty people turning up for what turned out to be an evening of riotously good philosophical fun. And I thought, "Yes, this is where I’m most at home."

Could you tell me something about your current career?

I’m not sure I think in terms of “career” (see below). I think more in terms of doing, as far as possible, good and interesting work. And for me, this means work that fulfils three criteria: it should be as far as possible personally engaging and fruitful, it should be of some broader benefit to others, and it should keep food on the table. When I left formal academia in 2016, it was because the first of these was no longer the case. I no longer felt it was possible to flourish in what seemed to be an increasingly marketised world of productivity, targets, league tables and bureaucracy. And I also worried that academia was somehow making me a worse writer.

Since going freelance in 2016, I’ve continued writing and researching, but without the same demands on what and how I write. I tend to be pretty eclectic, writing anything from travel writing (Stealing With the Eyes, Haus Publications 2018) to children’s books (Lucy and the Rocket Dog, Knopf 2017) to the occasional academic paper or book chapter. But the biggest project over the past three or four years has been Hello, Stranger: How to Welcome the World, which will be published by Granta this coming summer. The book takes up some of the themes of my PhD and refashions them through storytelling to explore that quiver of fascination human beings have in the face of strangers: the shudder of xenophobia or fear of the other; and the questing curiosity of philoxenia, or the fascination we have with the newness strangers might bring. It’s probably one of the most deeply personal things I’ve written, and I’m not sure I could have written in it while still in the academy.

It’s also been a delight working on new non-formal education projects. A couple of years back, I co-founded a social enterprise called Wind&Bones with my fellow-writer and collaborator Dr Hannah Stevens, exploring writing as a means of social change. Since setting up, we’ve run projects and workshops in Greek refugee camps, collaborated with educational projects in Myanmar, and we are currently planning a storytelling project with a brilliant Bulgarian NGO that works with survivors of domestic abuse. So all of this has been incredibly enriching—in the sense of being meaningful—as well as being more broadly beneficial and keeping just enough food on the table.

My other current education project, and labour of love, is Looking for Wisdom. The idea is to provide a free weekly philosophy newsletter by email, alongside ongoing but very affordable philosophy courses, supported by a friendly study community. I’m wanting to keep the focus really broad. So I’m taking a global and sometimes anthropologically-tinged vision of philosophy (I’ve recently featured pieces on Amazonian philosophy, Maya philosophy and so on). And I’m also conscious of the need to redress philosophy's woeful gender imbalance, so it’s been good to be writing about little-known figures like Jing Jiang, in the early Chinese tradition.

When I set up Looking for Wisdom, the guiding idea in my head was that I wanted to recreate the adult education vibe I so loved when I first set out teaching philosophy to help fund my PhD, or the relaxed social context for doing philosophy of the salon I set up in Chengdu, or further back, the free-ranging conversation and enquiry with friends that I experienced in my Buddhist days.

How does your philosophical training and formation help you in your current career?

There are two meanings of the word career: either a sedate and stately progress through a professional world; or a swift, erratic and uncontrolled motion. From the outside, I wonder if it sometimes looks as if I have had a career more in the latter sense than the former. But through it all, there have been two things that have remained pretty constant, both of which I owe to my philosophical background.

The first is that I love finding out new stuff. My engagement with philosophy has been such a rich, fascinating journey of finding out new stuff. And the work I am doing at the moment on Looking for Wisdom is a delight precisely because of how it continually opens up for me—and hopefully for readers too—all kinds of new avenues of thought.

And the second thing that has remained constant is my hunch that other people like finding out new stuff too. This is why teaching has always been central to who I am. Finding out new stuff in the company of others: it’s pretty much the ideal for me.

#doingthingswithphilosophy

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bellamygateoldblog · 4 years

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The 100 7x01: Discussion

My general takeaway from the episode can be summarised like this: Echo is spectacular. (I might’ve said “oh my god look at her!!!!!” and “ugh she is just The Best” too many times to count).

This is long-ish because I really just wanted to consolidate my thoughts in one place. Bitch it’s me i got a lot to say!!!!!

The Good Parts

— The farmhouse setting. While it’s existence is strange and “a sore thumb” and worked to further push Sanctum being the abomination born of clumsily mixing genres and time periods in terms of construction/costuming, making everything appear disconnected and obnoxious, it was still a nice change. It made me feel warmer and more comfortable as a ‘modern’ viewer. It’s a breath of fresh air from the constant dark element: dilapidated post-apoc buildings falling from their foundation, endless woods, and equally cold-feeling labs and skeleton dungeons.

— Echo. This was a damn good episode for Echo and every second reminded me of why she’s my favourite. She’s a badass. I always love to see her falling naturally into leadership of her little ragtag groups who accept it wholeheartedly. From the “testing a theory” moment where she went ‘when Gabriel doesn’t speak >>>’, to right at the end when she killed the solider about to “eliminate” Hope (hesitation is death...oh no he can’t hear us he’s got airpods in oh my god). It was Echo that got them through the whole sequence with the anomaly, Echo who figured shit out, Echo who quickly judged the situations and formed plans to overcome the obstacles. In other words: she did THAT.

Favourite scene: Echo coming face-to-face with the projection of her own insecurities in the form of Roan and Echo 1.0, and physically overcoming them (shooting them down), along with the trauma and pain that they both represent. The perserverence and getting the job done despite the emotional torture felt like a callback to the Psychosis episode of 6x02 when she was clever enough to sedate herself to silence the voices in her head. I also think the dialogue chosen was also foreshadowing that she would become a leader by the finale (commander?) and i love to see it!

— Clarke and Madi’s conversation. Oh Clarke, you just keep reinforcing and validating my perceptions of who you are as a person over and over again lol. In all her self-importance failing to remember that Madi, in fact, had and was raised by her biological parents for half of her life (and the new knowledge that she spent six years telling her little mind tales from the book of her life whilst apparently never taking the time to learn about Madi’s or acknowledge/honour her birth parents in any way) is “yeah that’s about right” to me. Sure you could say she was still reeling from the events of six and her death-almost death-almost death again. But I’ve always had this Thing about the relationship between Clarke and Madi. And i’ve seen some of the lighthearted humourous reception that scene got from fandom, “#where do you think the child CAME from?!” which only served to remind me of my own impression that Clarke views Madi as wholely ‘hers’, as if Madi’s existence was tied to Clarke, but i might elaborate in a seperate post.

This scene was a lovely display of self-awareness I’ve rarely seen on Clarke (never even got it when she electrocuted said child two seasons ago- however that absense of apology and acknowledgement of the sheer wrongness of that action also fits very nicely with my view of her lmao, still though, a weird choice for your ‘heroine’).

— Clarke’s “feels like a different world.” Felt romantically-coded. I think Gaia/Clarke might be the most convinient relationship to transform into romance at this point. However I’m sincerely hoping this road they could go down won’t reduce Gaia to a crutch/accessory for Clarke, and that she doesn’t become merely a love interest. I’ve seen talk already of Gaia being “Clarke’s happiness” etc.. which is already confirming my worst fears. Sigh.

This moment very much felt like found closure and the turning of a page. But i will say it was a very sharp turn from the three seasons of shoehorned-in mentions of Lexa, and last season’s emphasis on Clarke’s very-much intact emotional response to her memory- “it’s why you cry when you think about Lexa”- to her looking at an image of Lexa’s memory of her, reminicing but having no emotional response to it, and brushing it off while sharing a soft look with Gaia (and this is a few days since s6? I don’t know how this timeline is working but Tbh it’s not like these writers ever concerned themselves with ‘realistic time frames’ anyway lol). Yep, Jason’s seasons are individual “movies,” alright.

Other *nodding approvingly* moments

— Raven’s subtle “elevator eyes” on Clarke when she started giving her orders again. I see you, Miss Reyes, and I appreciate you.

— Raven + the foot in her mouth and the cute way she catches herself both times. I just love watching characters fail at existing LOL. She was feeling more human than stereotype or plot device this episode.

— "Mommy and Auntie O” and the implication that Hope is a child inside an aged-up body.

— This quote: “I know what it’s like to lose your family 100 years ago and yesterday at the same time.” It’s so literal but I like it a lot.

— Clarke being ‘leader’ again is, as usual, solely a matter of convinient (and familial/love) circumstances and it felt very true.

The Rest

— The Eligius Situation. So Clarke and her inner circle conquer and live in a nice home, and we’re specifically told Clarke takes the master suite (and the dog), and I was like ‘fair enough’ but then she orders prison labour. She tells them to build her a compound that they won’t actually get to be apart of, and to live in tents while they do so. They aren’t getting anything out of this (before they resist and set their own terms). This is slavery. Also, those aren’t her people to boss around, look down on, and use accordingly for her own gain (in fact they barely know her or why she’s gone from being that one unloyal woman who executed their men and got herself captured like an idiot, then couldn’t make up her mind about which side she wanted to kill- to one in the uppermost position of authority...like...they woke up yesterday) But, then again, that never stopped her.

— Too much and not enough at the same time. The pacing of the episode in general was awful. Too much happening in quick succession, no breathing room, too many factions (no, actually Raven, where is ALIE when you need her? smh). I blink, I miss an entire scene and a character is now beating someone else up. Amazingly, i was still bored 90% of the time.

— The Children of Gabriel calling themselves “The Children of Gabriel.” It was always goofy, even more so when a grown man is saying it.

— Murphy + his self loathing over Abby’s death. Did I miss the part where she was ever good to him? One of their final moments together was of her telling him he deserved to die over Clarke after she spent the entire series treating him like he was inferior and disposable. uhhhhhhhhhh.

— The picnic scene. Jackson’s sudden violent outburst was unearned (it wasn’t even set up???), and also disrespectful. Wrong place, wrong time, bro. He’s grieving? Okay. But when Abby’s daughter is sitting right in front of you, making this about you, ruining a perfectly good toast in her honour with your uncomfortable accusations loses you points you never even had to begin with. And this is a ‘me’ thing but I can’t be bothered to be sympathetic when this is about Abby Griffin.

Also, I have to say it. Eliza’s acting took me out of the scene every time I looked at Clarke. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what those expressions were supposed to be.

— Russell, his manpain, and a fury over the consiquences of his own actions that could rival the grounders (”my brother died in your ring of fire [while he was trying to murder you all]” hmm sounds like a you problem). But the worst part is, I simply couldn’t tell where he stood or what he was feeling. He’s so one-dimensional. He’s an evil man (so much for ”grey morality”).

— Clarke + Jordan. A small point to make but all Clarke has done since Marper made her ‘Godmother’ of their son has blame him for everything bad happening lol. Marper loses a lot of my respect as time goes on for that choice. As much as I dislike Jordan’s presence in the show, still not a great pattern to have noticed.

— Raven seeking approval from Clarke (specifically) for the Prime idea was...weird and very bad. When has Raven ever cared for Clarke’s validation, especially in the last few seasons?

Was also taken aback by how Indra and Miller are both suddenly so protective of Clarke, like i can make sense of the Indra part even though it relies on me making things up that aren’t supported by what’s on screen, but Miller?

— (Bonus moment that was bad for me, but not for the same reason it was for the rest of you: the scene of Hope finding the message in her arm. When she was removing the blood-soaked bandage I freaked out because I thought she was peeling her skin off. You’re welcome for that visual.)

The Mixed/No Feelings

— Clarke’s full-dark-no-stars. How many times have they told me now she’s “the head”? LMAO.

I have no actual formed opinion on it. Only disjointed thoughts. Like i might’ve just gone “good for her” if Clarke wasn’t the person she is, with the history she has.

I appreciate the idea, to have her spend the whole episode declaring she is, in fact, completely fine, to end it having her explode with the repressed pain.

I mean...i realise the cognition behind it, but it’s eye-roll inducing at this point. This- kicking Russell to death (giving him exactly what he wanted and set out to provoke), and burning down a palace she promised to keep intact, once again going against the group to do her own Thing that they all ultimately have the suffer the consiquences of and help clean up- is just a repeat of past patterns, and Monty’s “do better” mantra that she desperately clung to like she owned it last season is nowhere in sight.

(Also, I can’t be the only one who spotted her physically smacking that Sanctum girl as she walked onto the balcony? Not cool. Wasn’t cool when Murphy acted like a dick to one of them either this episode.)

The rushed switch did a number on me, too, like Jackson’s did. Literally five minutes before she was preaching about a peaceful life for Madi that doesn’t take revenge (I think I know what they were going for with that but it just left me feeling confused and frustrated).

Furthermore, I’ve seen talk that this was her “burning down of a symbol of oppression”, something she experienced first hand (not so unlike Blodreina and the bunker she desperately wanted to escape and deliver her people from), but there was no noble, calculated intention there. She burned the palace accidentally in her rage because she was in pain and disorientated. The moral stuff was just an after effect.

The speech was also very ‘Clarke’. Feeling entitled to and making decisions on who lives and dies right after declaring this wasn’t their kill to make. She wasn’t the only person hurt by the Primes (but we’ve also been given no reason to care about any of the other victims- the manipulated, enslaved population have been turned into a joke and a punching bag for the main characters which...isn’t great either). And the castle could’ve been used to shelter some of the “too many people” we had problems with through the episode (or used to harvest resources from). It really comes down to if i think the situation justifies the reaction and if i hold her wholely responsible...and this is the part where i reiterate that i have no intact opinion and don’t actually care to have one either ha.

#the 100 s7 #7x01 discussion #the 100 7x01

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the-numbers-game · 4 years

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life update - long ramble

in less than three weeks, i will have finished my postgrad. it’s been a hecking fast course, and very intense at times. like most things im a bit gutted at myself for not trying as hard as i can. but i’ve done mostly okay considering my efforts. a range of grades. i was gutted last term that i got a c in my criminal litigation class just due to my nerves. all my content was perfect, i was just shit scared of public speaking. i bombed conveyancing cos that class was shit. but i did good in my other two and i’ve got good grades this semester so far. but i’ve also missed more classes, and i think i bombed my oral last week, and i’m bound to bomb my oral this week too.

idk how i will adjust to being not-in-education for the first time since i was 5 (3, if you include preschool). tbh, if i dont get a traineeship i may go back in 2021 or 2022 and do a masters. something on the constitution and human rights. maybe i’ll write about labour again.

i’m gonna chill for a month or so, working my 2.5 days at work whilst i still have my student loan rolling in (LOL, i get hardly anything cos i’m a pg and most of it is gone in the repayment of the personal loan i took out to do this course). then, i’ll increase my days to 4. i can live off 4 days, and it means i can still count this job as not being my life whilst i hunt for a traineeship, and failing one that starts pretty soon, another job. i’m fixed term, and i was lucky in i got a promotion, but the promotion was also for a fixed term position.

i hope my contract is extended, i put my face out there a lot at work primarily for that reason. i go on training courses and sit on committees, partly because i get away from my desk but also because it makes me look like i care about my job. i’ll mainly look at the public sector, as i feel like i belong there, i like flexible working and having an interesting caseload. and then law firms, as maybe if i get an admin job at a firm they will take pity on me and recruit me. failing those two, i will look charities/trade unions/politics before resulting to texting someone at my old work and begging for a job back. or maybe i’ll do agency work. fuck idk. i shouldn’t worry about it. i’ll get a job, right?

i do hear back this week regarding a traineeship. i’m not hopeful. i never am. but the interview did go really well. i didn’t stammer, i spoke freely, we spoke a lot about unions and the labour party and i felt like they liked me. they only interviewed 6% of applicants, so i’m lucky to get through and even if i don’t get it i know i’ll be less anxious about interviewing for traineeships again because i know it can go well(ish). if i do get it i’ll be over the moon, it’s not human rights and it’s not public law but they do a lot of union work and pro bono, and that’s good enough for me.

over the years, the way i experience anxiety has changed, dramatically. for a while, i had quite a good support network of ‘safe adults’. like my friends, past and present, and callum, have all been remarkable, but i think being able to relate to adults/people in authority when you’re not quite an adult yourself is good for validation. it didn’t last long and friendships and ‘drama’ started to consume my life. when i finally moved out of retail into an office environment, a lot of my anxiety, especially the physical stuff, shifted. i shit you not, i would physically throw up before many of my shifts in retail. so again, i thought i was coping as things weren’t as bad as they were back then. especially when it came to depression, as i actively removed myself from the main environmental factor causing me to have low moods.

i was dumb, cos of course i still had sadness and anxiety. it was just different, and because i channeled a lot of stress into uni, being new at my job, and being skint, it felt like there was always an excuse it wasnt anything about me,it was xyz and hey fuck look at least im not barthing and crying every morning yeah?

but 2019, whilst being a year of several incredible highs and generally being a good year was full of anxiety and due to me doing such an intense course with lots of orals, i realised, yes, i may not be taking as many panic attacks as i took when i was 18 but i felt as bad, fuck, even worse socially and internally, than i did back then. so i went to the doctors just before the new year, and got put on drugs.

that was a big step, as i always have a fear about the doctors but i have a really good gp surgery, my main doctor is a bit odd but really helpful. one of the other doctors did a whole law degree and the diploma before deciding it wasnt for her and she wanted to go to med school, so shes a really good person to turn to. the reception staff are kind (and you can book appointments online too, which i find really helpful). i think as well, i always viewed my anxiety as mild, and in a way, it is, but in a lot of ways, it is not. medication has certainly helped. i take antidepressants and beta blockers and whilst im not a super happy confident girl, i can cope a lot better. i’m no longer physically anxious (if you know me irl you know i am a shaky bastard) and my brain doesn’t run through the same STRESS as it did. so im grateful. i know meds dont work for everyone and that it takes people years to find something good for them, esp for people with a lot more complex mental health issues than me and my anxiety but i found ones that seem to be working, at least for now.

this year, i’ve tried to look after myself more. i’m saving for a house after opening a help to buy isa last year. i noticed my vision was being a bit blurry from time to time and that my eyes felt really strained when looking at the computer. so i booked an eye appointment and it turns out im short sighted. wearing glasses, as well as fulfilling 12 year old me’s fantasy, has massively helped my general fatigue. i’m gonna book in for physio at my gp, cos i have a dodgy shoulder, and due to general stress, both the dodgy one and the other are in a lot of pain constantly. i try and do a proper skincare routine in the mornings and at night. i’ve always loved skincare but usually just take what i’ve been gifted but i’ve had fun exploring brands and building a collection. i’ve asked for extensions at uni when i’ve needed them, and took time off when appropriate. i’ve been meeting friends more, and not patching messages.

right okay- i’m falling asleep now but this has been a ramble which probably makes no sense but if we are mutuals or whatever i appreciate you and thanks for dealing with my bs.

tldr - finishing uni soon, probs gonna be looking for a job, doing better in life and with my mh.

#personal #life update #mental health

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unpack-my-heart · 5 years

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@constantreaderfool @xandertheundead @tinyarmedtrex @violetreddie @mrs-vh @eds-trashmouth

The Tozier residence was nestled in the belly of a small hill at the edge of the village. It was small, rickety, and, in high winds, almost always looked like it was about to collapse. Despite this, though, the sounds of laugher coming from within the small house could be heard for what seemed like miles away. As Edward approached, three small children were playing with sticks in the plush grass, and Wentworth Tozier was chopping firewood with a large axe.

“Hello, boy!”

“Hello, Sir”

“How is the best alchemical apprentice this fine summers evening?”

“I am well, Sir, thank you, Sir”

“Come with news about my boy?”

“Um – well, in some way. I’ve come to ask if you could send Richard back with me, Paracelsus asks that –“

“What do you mean back with you? Is he not still at your workshop?”

“No, Sir, he left about four hours ago”

Wentworth Tozier stopped chopping wood, and gently threw the axe to the ground. He wiped the back of his hand across his glistening forehead.

“I haven’t seen Rich since this morning when we sent him over to Paracelsus. Why do you need him to return?”

“It’s nothing – I mean, it is definitely something but it is nothing to be concerned about. When Richard returns home if you could pass on my message I would be most grateful. Thank you, Sir” Edward babbled, before turning swiftly on his heels and marching down the road.

Wentworth Tozier shrugged, and continued to chop.

He is dead in a ditch.

He grew dizzy and fell off the bridge on his way home.

He succumbed to the illness and is now one with the Earth.

He’s ran off to fetch the chief constable to accuse Edward of witchcraft.

Various catastrophic scenarios swam around the murky soup of Edward’s brain like fish, darting in and out of his attention. Nervousness bubbled in his stomach like acid as he walked aimlessly around the village, wildly hoping that he’d bump into Richard, or spot him in one of the ale houses.

Richard wasn’t in any of the ale houses, nor was he in the church. He wasn’t lurking around the canal, and he wasn’t watch the fish swim in the parish pond.

He was nowhere, as if he’d vanished from the village entirely.

– X –

Sarah Blundy was minding her own business when a glittering light at the outermost edge of the forest caught her eye.

A tree.

A tree that … seemed to be gradually turning to gold.

The first few meters of the tree were solid gold, and more and more of the tree seemed to be turning to gold, as if the gold was consuming the bark, and eating the leaves.

Staring at this transforming tree, Sarah Blundy fainted.

– X –

After three days of searching, Edward gave up searching for Richard, resigning to the fact that wherever he was hiding, he did not want to be found.

However, three days after Richard had gone missing, Paracelsus shook Edward awake.

“Have you heard about the trees?”

“The trees?” Edward yawned, sitting half up in bed, the scratchy blanket falling around his waist.

“The golden trees!”

“Golden… trees?”

“Eddie, I love you like you are my own son but you are a fool,” Paracelsus scolded, lightly smacking Edward over the head.

“Oh, Hell! Richard!”

“Yes! Now you understand. Richard must have disappeared to take cover in the forest. I suppose it is hardly surprising. What this does mean, though, is that he is probably rather easy to find”

“And I suppose I must go to fetch him?”

“Who else would you send?”

“Perhaps… you?”

“Am I the one that gave the Tozier boy the powers of a mythical King?”

“… No, Sir”

“Who did give Richard the powers of a mythical King?”

“… Me, Sir”

“There, you have your answer”

“I will go and look at first light”

“Very good. The poor boy is likely to be scared out of his wits, so be gentle with him”

“Of course”

When Edward arose from his slumber several hours later, Paracelsus thrust several parchments at him.

“These will explain to Richard what I think has happened to him, and give him my personal reassurance that you are not a witch and he is not cursed. Hopefully they’ll convince him to go with you. Now, the first golden tree was spotted near the Cooke residence”

“The house with the broken chimney?”

“That’s the one. If you cannot find him, please do return before sundown. I do not want to have to come looking for you”

“Yes, Sir!”

Edward wolfed down his breakfast of a lump of cheese, two slices of bread and scrambled out of the workshop in less than half an hour. The walk to the edge of the forest was pleasant, the sun was rising towards the top of the heavens, and there was a light breeze moving the air just enough so that it wasn’t too hot. Eventually, the dusty path that winded through the village stopped abruptly, and an empty, lush field stretched on in front of him, a dense forest bordering the field at the opposite end. Edward hopped over the fence, and walked through the field. When he’d gotten about half way, he noticed a mass of people standing beneath an oppressively large, completely golden Oak tree.

Picking up the pace, Edward all but ran to join the people.

“Pardon me, Sir, but do you know what happened here?” Edward asked the nearest man.

“It’s the work of an angel, my lad. God is smiling down at us and he has sent us these miraculous golden trees as proof of his excellence. Praise Him! Rejoice in Him!”

“Thank you” Edward replied dutifully, moving to the front of the crowd to get a better look.

The golden tree at the edge of the forest was just one of many entirely golden trees in the forest, stretching back in a sea of shimmering metal as far as Eddie’s eyes could see.

One peculiar thing, though, was the fact that all of the trees were in a perfect line.

Richard must have come this way.

Without further delay, Edward pushed his was past the crowd and began walking down the path.

“Hey! Boy! You, HEY!”

“What do you think you are doing!”

“You cannot follow the sacred path!”

“Blasphemer!”

“Oh, He’s the alchemists apprentice. No wonder he’s defying God – TRAITOR!”

Edward ignored the frenzied shouts of the crowd, walked through the forest, following the trail of golden trees. The trail continued on for some time, in a perfectly straight line. The further into the forest he went, Edward started to notice the less gold the trees were. Some trees were gold except the very tops, and some trees only had golden trunks, the branches and leaves still illuminated in technicolour by the sun.

Odd.

Suddenly, the trail stopped.

The last tree in the trail was barely golden at all, only the bark a few inches off the ground had turned.

Odd.

The trail had stopped in a grassy clearing, long reeds rustling in the summer breeze. However, as Edward walked towards the centre of the clearing, he noticed that it wasn’t … all grass. There was a large patch of churned up mud, like someone had purposefully attacked the ground with some sort of tool, an axe perhaps. This was surely done on purpose, Edward mused, and recently, too. The mud had not solidified in the sun, and was still soft and malleable to the touch. Edward squatted in the dirt, and sifted it through his fingers. Tiny, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them blades of grass fell to the floor with a soft thud.

Grass doesn’t thud.

Edward looked down, and on the floor by his feet lay five golden blades of grass. The only golden blades of grass in the clearing, Edward noticed, as he scanned about.

Odd.

Edward picked up the golden blades of grass and weighed them in his fingers.

“There must have been more of this,” he mused aloud.

There was no reason that Richard should have specifically chosen to turn these few blades of grass into gold, not when he’d turned dozens of trees to gold on his journey to this clearing. He must have turned great clumps of grass into metal, and someone must have taken the rest.

Edward looked at the mud. Firmly indented in the soft surface were footprints.

Huge, wide footprints. Footprints that looked vaguely human, but the sheer width of them sent shivers of fear down Edward’s spine.

Scattered among these inhumanly large footprints, though, were footprints that surely must have been made by a regularly sized human. These footprints disappeared suddenly after the patch of mud. If these footprints belonged to Richard, it appeared that he had walked to this clearing, to this exact point, and then vanished entirely. The larger footprints did not disappear, though, and Edward followed the winding trail further into the forest. When the trail showed no sign of ending, and the sun was hanging heavy and bloated in the sky, threatening to disappear behind the hills, Edward decided to return to the workshop to gather supplies.

“Who has taken you, Richard?” Edward asked the air that just wailed in answer.

– X –

“Another golden sculpture?” Edward asked, sceptically, “Where are you getting these from?”

“From a master sculptor in Wandermere, my good Sir. His hands are guided by the lord, and he creates these golden trinkets as an expression of his faith”

The man stood before Edward was pale, and unfortunately deformed, with a large, bulbous forehead and pointed nose. He stood several feet taller than Edward, but walked with a hunch, bones creaking under his pallid, and thin looking skin. Blue-ish grey veins snaked across the merchants arms, as he lifted box upon box out of his small cart. He lifted beautiful golden chalices with perfectly etched intricate patterns, golden knives with solid metal sheaths, and even, to Edward’s curiosity, intricately carved golden books out of the boxes, and displayed them on a small table. The books, in particular, piqued Edward’s interest. They were perfectly rendered in smooth, faultlessly thin sheets of metal. The golden books are … too perfect. Too perfect to have been crafted by the flawed hands of man using tools and manual labour.

“So you say these books were crafted by a goldsmith, by hand?”

“Yes”

“He was able to make this many in such a short space of time?”

The stranger stuttered, eyes flashing with a curious kind of panic.

“As I said, he is a master sculptor”

“How did he get the text so neatly onto the golden leaf? It looks as if it was drawn with just a quill and ink, not etched with cumbersome tools”

“Enough with the incessant questioning,” the stranger snapped, snatching the golden book from Edwards grasp. “Do you wish to purchase anything, or not?”

“I do not think I do, thank you”

The stranger said nothing, but his lip curled wolfishly, revealing a set of unnaturally sharp teeth. Teeth that would look more at home in the mouth of a beast than a man. Edward could feel his blood turn cold. Wordlessly, the stranger began to stack the boxes back into his small cart, before clambering into it himself. The small, morose looking donkey attached to the cart heaved itself onto its feet, before slowly plodding away, out of the village and down the dusty track towards the golden trees.

Without thought, Edward followed them.

– X –

“Can I come out, yet?”

“No! It is not safe, a mortal could see you”

“But it smells like something has died under here”

“You are smelling your own breath”

“Shut your mouth, Patrikos, or I shall stopper it with your own heart”

“Children! All of you. No better than mortal children”

“I still do not understand why you are in charge”

“Erebus decreed it, Victilios, I have told you of this before”

“We have not seen Him for centuries, is there no opportunity for a change in power? Perhaps he would not notice”

“Do not question His motivations or he may smite you down. Not that I would complain, of course”

“Henrion, have we fed the Midas child in recent days?”

“I do not remember, Reginas, though he has not died yet so we must have”

“DO NOT TOUCH ME WITH YOUR WITHERED HAND YOU KNOW HOW IT DISTURBS ME”

– X –

The small cart bounced along the dusty track, past the grassy clearing where Edward had found the golden blades of grass, and journeyed deep into the forest. The trees became dense enough to block out the sun. Only one man sat upon the cart, the stranger who had been selling the golden wears in the village for several days, but Edward could hear four voices floating through the air as he followed the cart several feet behind.

Nimbly, Edward darted from tree to tree, never taking his eye from the small cart. They continued on for several hours, and Edward's legs grew wearier and wearier, until, without warning, the cart vanished. Edward watched in horror as it appeared to be swallowed whole by darkness, as it disappeared down into ... nothingness.

After waiting for several seconds, Edward sprang forward. He ran towards where the cart had disappeared, and found himself face to face with the entrance to an underground passage way. Edward stared into the void, and the void stared back at him.

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #itfandomprompts #itfandomweek #Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak #alchemy au #renaissance au #ignis aurum probat

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fox-mother · 5 years

Text

Smol Harry Potter AU Kushi profile!

Introduction

Name: Kushina Uzumaki Also Known As: Kushi, Red-Hot Habanero, Tomato Girl Titles: The Bleeding Heart of London Age: 24 Birthday: July 10th Astrological Sign: Cancer Nationality: Japanese Species: Fox-Demon Blood Type: B Sex: Female Gender: Cisgender Pronouns: She/Her Orientation: Biromantic and Bisexual Past/Bio: Kushina was born in Japan to a couple of Fox-Demons. Their species is primarily found deep within Japans natural forests and as a result, they are hard to come by. Their hair (and pelts) are very valuable and rare because of this. Most commonly their hair is used as the centre of wands/adornments on the clothing of Japanese high-ranking wizards. Their form of magic is far more nature-based and they can shift forms at will. As they can only be found in Japan, they are a very unknown species in other countries. Kushina herself was born and raised to be wary of people who didn't share her packs distinctive red pelt or red locks. Her mischievous nature also got her into a fair amount of trouble with her parents and pack elders, especially a powerful demon called Mito. While the elderly fox-demon tutored Kushina extensively, she was also more of a grandmother to the younger rather than a teacher. One day, it all changed. A particularly volatile member of their pack decided to try fighting back and lost. Their place of hiding, a sacred forest in which humans dare not tread was set ablaze to drive the demons out. Her pack fought and fought hard, but ultimately they were overpowered and a good 98% of the pack was decimated. Only 8 escaped and managed to smuggle themselves away. Kushina, Mito, Nagato and a few others were among the lucky ones. They decided to split up, with Mito and Kushina going to England. Kushina spent the rest of her time in England, growing up with Mito. That was until her guardian told her that Hogwarts wanted her. She decided to attend Hogwarts, which she deems as her best choice yet. There, she met Namikaze Minato and Uchiha Mikoto who soon became her two best friends. She never, not even to them, revealed what she really was. They too were Japanese so she knew that they'd know what she is. Kushina left Hogwarts and eventually married Minato. The two lived quite quaintly, sort of isolated until Kushina got a business proposition. She accepted it and works as an Unspeakable for the Ministry. Kushina got pregnant a few years into her career and both her and Minato were ecstatic. The Uzumaki caught up with Mikoto and found out she had a son, Itachi, and was expecting another. The two became inseparable, with Kushina and Minato being babysitters for Mikoto and Fugaku as the three children grew.

About Him/Her

Personality: Kushina is a quick-to-anger, brash young lady with a heart of gold. She is fiercely protective of Minato, Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi and Mikoto, to the point of murder in some cases. She is kind, motherly and sweet to anyone who truly knows her. Occupation: Unspeakable Likes: - Her job - Her family - Chocolate - Strawberries - Dislikes: - Muggles - Pushy people - Rude people - Fugaku Uchiha - Hobbies: Sewing, baking and pranks Fears: Losing her family, friends and hope Strength: She's got a strong draw to nature and a lot of her power comes from that Weakness: She struggles with learning spells sometimes Talents: She's a talented Animagus, a talented Seer, can Apparate and perform Wandless Magic

Appearance

Height: 5'4 Cup Size: D Skin Tone: Pale Ivory Eye Color: Indigo Hair Description: - Colour: Red - Highlights: None - Length: Shins - Style: Loose - Worn: Up in a bun and in a ponytail Extra: - Scars: None - Piercings: Her ear and nose - Tattoos: A spiral on her upper back, between the shoulder blades, signifying her clan/pack - Facial Features: She's elegant, has sharp-ish fangs and large eyes with long eyelashes - Scent: She smells of fire, dust and nature

Relationships

Father: Uzumaki Marihito Mother: Uzumaki Tsukiyama Siblings: Uzumaki Kyoumi (sister) Relatives: Uzumaki Mito (grandmother), Uzumaki Nagato (a distant cousin) and Uzumaki Karin (niece) Family Line of Work: None Family Background: Fox-demons were once a rare species who were known for their connections with nature. Their fiery red hair and pelts often made them targets for poachers and slave labourers. Naturally, all of them were peaceful and meant no harm, unless directly provoked by a passing hunter or muggle. Muggles didn't know what they were and caused them to retreat further into their woods to survive. They were shifters, able to naturally change their shape into that of a fox from birth. Their magic also was directly linked to nature, with them able to cast shielding spells from young ages. They are naturally very curious and a few who got too close to the wizards and witches who hunted them were often never seen again. Their whole pack/clan was decimated by wizards when one firey upstart decided he wanted revenge. It left the few that lived scattered over the globe as they struggled to survive. There are very few fox-demons who are still alive, as some were hunted and some just naturally passed away. Best Friends: Uchiha Mikoto Friends: Haruno Mebuki and Sabaku no Karura Love Interest: Namikaze Minato Enemies: Uchiha Fugaku

Education

School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry House: Hufflepuff Best Core Class: Herbology Worst Core Class: Transfiguration Elective: Care of Magical Creatures and Divination Quidditch: Beater Extra-Curricular: Earth Magic

Magic

Wand: - Length: 12" - Flexibility: Reasonably supple flexibility - Wood: Rowan wood - Core: Unicorn hair Pets: None Boggart: Hunters Animagus: Fox Patronus: Black Stallion Amortentia: A bouquet of roses

Affiliations/Alliances

Home Town: Rural Japan Residence: A quaint cottage a few miles outside of London Loyalty: Neutral Organizations: Ministry of Magic, Order of the Phoenix

Extra Information

Quotes: "It's nothing personal, but you need to shut up before I rip your head off." Theme Song: Monster by Skillet Food: Anything spicy or sweet Drink: Water or sake if she's feeling down Colour: Red Animal: Fox Flower: Sakura blossoms Season: Summer

#(Boo Boo Bear: OOC Post)#(Magic And Mysteries: Harry Potter!AU)

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indescribablechoices · 6 years

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Masterlist (updated 06/09/20)

Fics are listed in chronological order according to story progression, not date of posting, and obviously some were written before books were fully released so I’ve taken some liberties with plots. Ones listed at the bottom are for future fics I plan to write, please feel free to send asks/prompts.

MC Masterlist

The Royal Romance (Liam Rys x Alicia Harper)

This Room Where You Should Be - After having her engagement party ruined by assassins, Alicia speeds towards a safe house with an injured Drake, not knowing what lies ahead; whether any of her friends or her beloved Liam made it out alive. (will direct to my old blog)

Wish Comes True - During an interview, Alicia gets herself in a twist over the thought of the holidays, and Liam makes a promise he intends to keep.

Piece by Piece - A year after their wedding as Alicia, Liam and the others celebrate her birthday.

Where You Abandoned Things - A figure from Alicia’s past turns up, and Liam learns why his wife has never spoken about her family before.

Reach In A Little Deeper - When a security threat leaves Alicia and Olivia trapped in a room together, things only get worse when Alicia goes into labour with hers and Liam’s first child.

Count On Me (Maxwell x Penelope) - Maxwell comes to Alicia for advice. Feelings and an abundance of platonic love follow.

Your Kingdom (D&D crossover) - After becoming Queen, Alicia begins to look back over her own family tree and finds some things she didn’t expect.

Side by Side - Liam and Alicia wake up together on their five year anniversary.

Lift Your Chin A Little Higher - Twenty years after the events of TRR, Liam’s daughter visits the gardens in Valtoria to reminisce about the past, hoping to find comfort for the future.

Enchanting Series (updated 28/04/20) - The story of Liam and Alicia’s daughter Lyra as she enters the social season in search of a husband. Familiar faces, sibling shenanigans and naturally; romance, all await along the way.

Perfect Match (Damien Nazario x Kai Park)

All I’ve Ever Learned From Love - Kai and Hayden have barely spoken since everything that went down with Eros in New York. During a quiet moment, he begins to reevaluate their relationship and what it means for the future. (will direct to my old blog)

Afraid of Falling - After talking with Hayden, Kai heads out to find Damien and finally fess up her feelings. But it seems Damien had the same idea.

Nobody But You (NSFW) - After admitting their feelings for each other, Kai and Damien let their desires get the better of them.

Indescribable - Kai’s life is falling apart when the truth about Damien is revealed. (will direct to my old blog)

Walking The Wire - A rewrite of the reunion scene with some memories more personal to my Kai and hers and Damien’s relationship.

Someone’s Bound To Get Burned - Kai and the others rescued Damien days ago, but he barely look at her. Kai confronts him, and an argument ensues.

Miss Me When I’m Gone - Kai and Damien talk about Nadia leaving in a quiet moment together. Discussions about the future ensue.

Take What Comes - Distracted texting leaves Kai in an awkward situation when her auto correct decides to propose to Damien.

Dancin’ Merrily - Kai and Damien spend their first Christmas together as a married couple with their family.

It Isn’t Easy - Damien heads home to Kai after a long day at work, but some discussions about the past may affect their future.

My Arms Will Hold You - Four times Kai Park woke up in Damien’s arms and one time she didn’t. Set across their years of knowing each other.

Dedicating Every Day To You - Kai wakes up in the middle of the night and Damien isn’t beside her. She finds him in the nursery instead.

Just One More Thing - Damien and Kai head to the local dog shelter and bring home a new member of the family.

Go Gentle - Kai receives a phone call from her children’s high school, listing off all of the trouble her son is in. She asks for an explanation from him and delves deeper than she planned.

(Damien Nazario x Hayden Young x Kai Park x Alana Kusuma)

Stay The Course - On the flight from Tokyo to San Francisco, Damien and Hayden take a moment to talk and clear the air for the first time since everything happened with Eros. Bonding and fluff ensue.

The Things That You Want - During a quiet afternoon in San Francisco, Damien asks Kai about her feelings for Hayden and makes a proposition that could benefit everyone.

Be Your Safety (NSFW) - After Hayden walks out in San Francisco, Kai goes after him, and a heart to heart leads to confessions.

The Human In Me - Damien comes home on his lunch break and interrupts more than a dance party.

How Long You Would Wait For Me (Alana x MC focused) - After receiving the worst news possible, Kai reflects on her relationship with Alana.

One So Small - Kai is in labour, and needs the people she loves around her.

So Snowy White - A little glimpse into one Christmas at the Nazario-Young household. Damien pulls a scam. Kai teases her boys. Hayden learns the meaning of a perfect memory.

Let Me Go Home (part one, TH:M crossover) - Eighteen months after the events in Monaco, Nina brings Sonia home to meet the family.

It Lives In The Woods (Andy Kang x Maggie Young)

Pull Me Closer - After their first kiss in the pool, Andy and Maggie head into the laundry room to dry off.

If I Only Could - Andy wakes up from surgery and realises that not everyone made it out of the ruins. (will direct to my old blog)

The Sharp Knife of a Short Life - Maggie decides to pay a visit to Jane and Noah’s mother after Noah’s ‘death’ in the ruins.

Tonight - Maggie is preparing to go to prom with her friends, but she can’t help but feel the absence of her boyfriend as he rests his still injured leg. But it seems that fate, and Andy, have other ideas.

It Lives Beneath (Tom Sato x Penn Vance)

A Love Like This - Tom and Penn spend a lazy afternoon together, and Tom has a sudden realisation.

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor (Eleanor Waverley x Hadley Byrd)

So Full Of Love - Hadley reflects on her time with Eleanor and begins to worry that she made the wrong choice.

When I Am With You - Hadley and Eleanor discuss their plans as the seasons begin to change and reflect on the time they’ve had together.

Your Kiss Is Like A Lost Ghost (AU) - AU in which Hadley is a reincarnated version of the original governess of Braidwood Manor, and when she returns in present day, she finds herself falling for Eleanor all over again.

Veil of Secrets (Flynn O’Malley x Marli Greene)

Running Out Of Words To Say - After the events of VoS, Marli heads home for real this time, but will either her or Flynn have the courage to tell the other how they really feel?

Bloodbound (Adrian Raines x Emeline Martinez)

All That Grace - Adrian has a beautiful night out planned for him and Emeline to prove his commitment to her, but her all too human immune system gets in the way. Though things always have a way of working out in the end…

It’s You And Me - An engagement party with Em’s family has Adrian wondering about the future, and the things they can and can’t have together.

We Can’t Tell The Future (AU) - What if Adrian hadn’t recognised Emeline in time when his body was overtaken by the serum? What if it had other lasting effects on his body?

Open Heart (Rafael Aveiro x Cora Chase) (Kyra Santana x Cora Chase)

Where You Belong (Rafael x MC) - AU. There is no attack on the hospital, and Rafael leaves Edenbrook for the last time. Cora realises that she has one chance before the man she loves is gone for good.

Guess I’d Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All (Part One) - Months after their breakup, Cora and Rafael spend one more night together.

Just A Delicate Kiss (Part One.5) - Cora gets called into Ethan’s office, and her true feelings about Kyra come to light.

Everything You Kept Inside (Part Two) - After finding out that she is pregnant after a one night stand with Rafael, Cora has a lot to think about.

These Nights Never Seem To Go To Plan (Part Three) - Cora finally tells Rafael about the pregnancy.

America’s Most Eligible (Mackenzie Harris x Winnie Reed)

Me and My Ripped Jeans and You - Mackenzie goes over to Winnie’s apartment one afternoon and finds her girlfriend wearing her jacket.

My Sweet Honey Bee - Mackenzie and Winnie take the next step in their future together.

Desire and Decorum (Luke Harper x Jess Woodmire)

Let This Moment Be The First Chapter - Jess and Luke visit Luke’s estate together for the first time after its completion and their thoughts turn to the future.

No Beat, No Melody (AU) - The consequences of the duel.

A Garden You Never Get To See (AU) - The consequences of the duel, part two.

The One I Was Meant To Find (AU)

- Part One: Jess can’t take the pressure any more and runs away from the estate. Mr Harper comes to find her, and in the wake of an impending proposal, they finally admit their feelings for each other.

Losing Sight of You (AU) - Part Two: The morning after, Jess awakes with the man she loves, but she knows that this happiness cannot last.

Enough (AU) - Part Three: Left alone and scared for her future happiness, Jess knows that she has to do something before she finds herself wed to the Duke and torn apart from her beloved Mr Harper forever.

Your Kingdom (TRR crossover) - After becoming Queen, Alicia begins to look back over her own family tree and finds some things she didn’t expect.

The Heist: Monaco (Sonia Alves x Nina Nazario-Young)

This Woman Is My Destiny - Nina takes the biggest risk she’s ever taken, and Sonia gets a surprise visitor.

Let Me Go Home (part one, PM crossover) - Eighteen months after the events in Monaco, Nina brings Sonia home to meet the family.

Red Carpet Diaries (Matt Rodriguez x Bailey Johnson)

The Best Day With You - A little family fluff fic between Matt, Bailey and their daughter Sofia.

Across The Void (Sol x Bo Elara)

Oh, Let’s Get Lost - Sol and Bo take some time away to themselves, enjoying being in love on a distant planet away from everything else.

A Courtesan of Rome (Syphax x Korina x Sabina)

Lead Me Back Home (Syphax x MC focused) - Finally away from the grasp of Rome, Korina takes in the life she has built with the people she loves

Mother of the Year (Thomas Mendez x Lori Day)

Surrounded By Your Embrace - Thomas and Lori celebrate their two year anniversary together. Lori thinks back over their relationship and Thomas gets a present he wasn’t expecting.

Big Sky Country (Sawyer Oakley x Daphne Dehaven)

Scars On Our Hearts - After Sawyer is injured at the rodeo, he and Daphne get into a fight at the hospital about the decisions they’ve both made.

The Elementalists (Beckett Harrington x Hallie Russell)

Blades of Light and Shadow (Nia Ellarious x Aurora Feathertide x Imtura)

Nightbound (Nik Ryder x Willow Greeves)

The Royal Masquerade (Kayden Vescovi x Ophelia Aster)

Ride or Die (Mona x Rose Wheeler) (Ingrid Delaney x Rose Wheeler)

Distant Shores (Charlie Smith x Emily Hawthorne)

Unexpected Heiress (John Somerset x Marianne Hayes)

The Nanny Affair (Sam Dalton x June Martinez)

Queen B (Ian Kingsley x Briar Hughes)

Platinum (Shane Parker x Adelyn Oliver)

Sunkissed (Samson x Skylar Bell)

Wishful Thinking (Jaime Lewis x Kit Huxley)

Home For the Holidays (Holly Wright x Robyn Joy)

Baby Bump (Myra Dixon x Theo Cassidy)

Rules of Engagement (Leo Rys x Kaylee Buchanan)

Passport to Romance (Ahmed Khabbaz x Nell Shepherd)

#masterlist #I'm bored and should be sleeping so I'm doing some housekeeping #the royal romance #perfect match #it lives in the woods #the haunting of braidwood manor #america's most eligible #across the void #bloodbound #desire and decorum #veil of secrets

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riseofarmy · 3 years

Text

03 | DO YOU EVER LOOK AT SOMEONE AND WONDER

i can do this all day 03 | do you ever look at someone and wonder

author : @riseofarmy

pairing : kim seokjin x original character

words : 2533

i can do this all day masterlist

previous chapter

SEOKJIN

How isn't she tired yet?

I'm tired, and I've only been floating behind her for the last three-ish hours. When she first noticed that I was laying on air, her dumb cat hissed at me, but she just widened her eyes for a second before ignoring me.

Maybe she's just been desensitised by all the stuff she got sprung with today.... which is strange because people usually come looking for the lamp knowing there's a djinn inside. Then again, it's been a while since I've been awaked this far in the past, and it's further in the future that people know about the 'genie' myth.

I know that my first few masters summoned me one after another, but somewhere along the line, I started serving people from all different times. That stunning suit I had on before was made for one of the most popular boy groups of the 21st century, but I hadn't considered that I would be so far back in time that it would be ridiculed.

I still can't believe that: my master tried to kill me, then barely two minutes later made fun of my sexy jacket and oh my god, I don't even know her name.

"Oh my god, I don't even know your name." The little terror on her shoulder stares at me with its dumb, beady eyes.

"Darling." She didn't even turn to me when she answered.

"What?"

"My name. It's Darling. Darling Surya".

Darling. I size her up, running my gaze over her. Her face was a little plain, but it looked downright fierce with her buzz-cut and wicked jawline. Paired with her long jacket and the general get-out-of-my-way vibe she gives off, she doesn't seem like a Darling at all.

"Darling? Is it weird when some random person calls you darling without realising it's your name?"

"I had been using the name Surya while I pretended to be a man, so I've never had to experience that." Wow, plot twists be like.

"Why did you pretend to be a man?"

"Because all women are good for is marriage, and I needed a job to save up money so I could come here."

Yikes, alright then. I have a feeling she's always this intense.

She has my interest piqued though, and I keep asking her questions. She's blunt at first, obviously preoccupied by something else, but eventually she relaxes enough to give me more detailed answers. I even suck up my dislike to her dumb cat and float beside her instead of behind, and she doesn't seem to mind.

I learn that her father is from Daehan-Minguk and her mother from Paaratham (modern-day South Korea and India respectively, which explains her darker skin) and that she was a heavy labourer for two years to save up money to move from Paaratham to Daehan-Minguk.

She explains that the king is an asshole - making downright treasonous comments about him throughout - and that we were currently going to his son's birthday ball.

She doesn't tell me why we're going, though, because supposedly she's 'still sorting it out', but it must be something serious since she dances around the question with a tight expression until I ask her about her cat.

It's a little strange to just talk like this.

I always make sure to learn about each of my masters so I can serve them better. Darling, though... she one of the few who I can say don't feel like a master. Most of the others went straight to telling me everything they would do with the money they were going to wish for themselves, or the apparently tragic stories that made them so deserving of the power they wanted.

Darling, just talked about her parents and Yoongi a lot, and even asked me questions about being a djinn.

She was baffled when I told her I've served people from different times, mouth dropping and fingers tightening on the lamp which she still held in her hand, and she wanted to know what the world is like in the future. When I told her about phones, though, she decided I was making it up and asked something else.

Still, it felt nice to talk to Darling. Nice enough that another hour and a half passed without me noticing, and soon enough, dusk had fallen and we were approaching the nearest town.

"I know an inn nearby, but I'm not sure how people would react if they saw someone in the air. I think you should stop floating for a bit." Darling looks pointedly at me until I set my feet on the ground with a huff.

"Silly humans and your non-floating ways. Do you realise how much of a time-waster walking is?"

"My bad, Seokjin. I'll make sure that next time I'm born as a genie." My lips curl into a grin of their own accord at her response, and I see her own do the same out of the corner of my eye.

The streets of the town are busy, but Darling navigates them fairly easily. It becomes more and more apparent, though, that there is currently something going on - people are bustling around busily, and Darling looks increasingly worried until we finally end up in front of an inn.

Inside, I immediately understand why Darling looked troubled - the inn is almost overflowing with people. Darling runs a hand over her buzz-cut and pushes the lamp deep into her pocket, then tells me to wait in the corner while she talks to the innkeeper. I try to follow her anyway, but she gives me a wicked glare and leaves her cat next to me so I stay put.

"What are you looking at?" The cat doesn't even blink, just lays down next to my feet. It doesn't seem to mind when I crouch closer to it, so I give its fur an experimental poke.

It opens its eyes lazily, slowly flicking its tail in my direction until I give it another poke, soft this time. Dumb cat. I could make you disappear from existence right now and you wouldn't even realise. As if sensing my thoughts, the cat bats at my hand, but then lets me pat it again.

"Yoongi likes you." Darling, who appeared without me even realising, looks down with sickeningly love-filled eyes at the cat.

"He what now?"

"Yoongi. He doesn't like anyone touching him except me, but he seems to be okay with you."

"Oh. Well, that's too bad for him because I hate cats."

"If you say so." She raises her eyebrows as if she doesn't believe me, but before I can reaffirm that no, really, I hate cats, she jerks her head to the stairs that I think lead to the rooms. "It's good we came here first, because the other inn is already full. There's a festival in Mansae the day before the ball, so people are staying here on their way to it and there's only one room left here. You okay with that?"

"I live in a lamp, Darling, I'm sure I can manage." She gives me a small smile and hikes her rucksack up before picking up her cat.

The innkeeper comes to us with a very capitalist smile and leads us to our room. He doesn't shut up, somehow managing to fit his life story, three comments about how 'we're never been this busy' and even an offer for me to marry his daughter in the two minutes he has our attention.

Darling just rolls her eyes when we're finally shown our room, and I remember her words from before - 'all women are good for is marriage'. I wonder if the innkeeper's daughter knew she was basically being given away by her own dad.

"Seokjin!" I pop my head into the room, which Darling had already unlocked and was going through. It was just big enough for a bed, a small table with a chair, and a tub behind a bamboo screen to bathe in.

"Yeah?"

"We have to get to the palace by tomorrow afternoon, so we're leaving early." She grabs a pillow from the bed to fluff it before throwing it back down. "You sleep here, I'll take the chair."

I think the sight of me floating has completely disappeared from her brain. "Darling. Sweetheart. You are a human, and need sleep. I am a genie, and have my lamp and don't need to sleep. Take the bed."

Darling's hand had been hovering protectively over her pocket, but now she pulls the lamp out of it and glances up at me.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. I thought you wouldn't be too thrilled at the idea of going back into your lamp so soon. Plus, I wasn't planning on sleeping."

That makes me pause, and I consider her predicament for a moment. Darling - visibly tired, stressed out and her mind obviously occupied by something that she's been turning over for who-knows-how-long, yet here she is offering me a bed. Me. A literal genie with my whole-ass magic thing going on. Because she thinks I would be sick of being in my perpetual home one more night. Cute.

Then I notice how tight her grip on the lamp is, and that's when something clicks in my brain.

Hah. I wonder if she realises how easy it is to read her.

"Interesting, Darling, but may I offer a proposition? You sleep on the bed, your dumb cat can do whatever, and I'll do my floating business. Win-win-win, am I right? Also, c'mere."

She widens her eyes warily when I hold my hand out for the lamp, but passes it over with some hesitancy.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me, Darling."

I watch her expression morph from confusion to distress as I melt the golden lamp into a chain-link necklace. Taking a step closer to her, I reach across the space between us to loop the chain around her neck and seal the ends together so there isn't an opening to the necklace. The purple gem thing - even after all this time, I don't know what it is - rests just below her collarbone, glinting in the dim light from the candle we were given.

"There you go! Now you can sleep without having to worry about losing it! Wow! You can thank me now!" I smile at her, but she doesn't notice. She fiddles with the necklace experimentally, a frown bringing her eyebrows together.

"What if someone pulls it off?" How Darling of her, always going around ruining the mood with her silly questions.

"Nopsies, the only ones who can even touch it are you and me. And your stupid cat. And I'm the only one who can take it off you or change its shape, so hurry up and thank me you ungrateful shit." I smile wider, tilting my head in expectation, and the tiniest hint of a grin graces her lips.

"Thank you, Seokjin."

"You are absolutely welcome, Darling dear. Now sleep." Before she can say anything else, I push her onto the bed and tap her forehead. She doesn't even have a chance to look surprised before she's unconscious, fast asleep as the purple remnants of my magic curl around her head.

I pull a blanket over her and poke my tongue out at her dumb cat when it jumps up to sleep next to her. It ignores me.

Oh well.

"Look, Mansae will be in front of us in a second. We'll be able to see the sea too."

Darling draws my attention to the view ahead of me, where we're about to break through the forest's treeline.

She woke up at fuck-all o'clock to find me playing on my Nintendo, and barely ten minutes later we were out of the town and on our way to the palace. We avoided the main road until now by picking our way through the mountain, but we were close enough to the capital, Mansae that we couldn't avoid it any longer.

With one last turn, the palace is laid bare in front of us.

The main road snakes to the palace and the houses and markets that surround it, which were in turn set within a wide valley circled by the Mansae mountain range. Through the space between two of the mountains, we could see the faint glimmer of the ocean far away. The palace itself was a spread of white towers spearing the sky, the path leading to it choked with people weaving between markets.

We join the crush of people heading to the palace for Jungkook's birthday-and-wife-picking-ceremony and are instantly shoulder-to-shoulder with sweaty strangers. Darling's elbow digs into my side as we walk, but she's too focused on babying her dumb cat to realise. I bear with it until we reach the markets, but I can't stand it anymore.

"Darling your elbow has been jackhammering a hole into my ribs for an hour."

She practically rips her gaze away from her cat to look up at me. "Seokjin, I can promise you that you are not the only one in this crush of people with an elbow in your ribs. Still, sorry about that, I wish there wasn't so much of a crowd."

"Ohoho, is that your first wish?" I waggle my eyebrows at her jokingly, but she doesn't realise I'm only kidding.

"No! No, that is not a wish!" She seems to be visibly panicking, a flush climbing her throat as she splutters in her attempt to make sure her wish isn't used. Cute.

"Okay okay, that's not your wish, I get it. But uhh, now that we're on the topic... What is your first wish?"

"I'll tell you when it comes to it." Ah yes, Darling - putting up brick walls faster than you can ask her questions. This time, though, that's not an option.

"Nopesies, you have to tell me. Come on bestie."

"I will. If I need to. Do I really need to? Can't I just say it when I need it to happen?"

Some times, it's a real bother being the only smart person on a whole planet of dummies. But that's okay - I suck back my exasperation and hide it behind a tight smile.

"Okay. Look. Here's the deal, Darling. It's obvious to me by now that you are not going to wish for money or power or whatever else my masters usually want. If, when you make your wish, it isn't precise enough or it's something I can't grant, I will not know what to give you and that's a wish wasted. I need you to explain this big idea of your's, or else I literally cannot do my job properly, so please tell me: what is going on inside your head?"

The flush on her neck spreads to her face as she mutters something without meeting my eye, but I miss it because she says it so quietly.

"What was that?"

Squaring her shoulders, Darling turns and holds my gaze straight on. There's some emotion tightening her face that I can't fully decipher, something between agitation and determination

"I need you to make the prince fall in love with me."

i can do this all day masterlist

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megalony · 3 years

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Labour pains

This is a murderer! Ben Hardy imagine that will have a follow up part soon, I hope you will all enjoy it feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Part 2

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have a son together and are expecting another baby, but problems arise when (Y/n) is adamant she doesn’t want to give birth after the trauma of her first child.

Enjoy.

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"Hey baby, you're back early." (Y/n) pressed her lips to the top of Ben's head when she walked into the kitchen, surprised to see her husband sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. It was unusual to see Ben home from the club anytime before five in the afternoon.

She felt Ben's hand graze over her lower back before she moved past him and headed over to the counter, wanting to get herself a drink.

"James would be excited if you pick him up from school today since you're home now." Turning her head, she looked over at Ben as she turned the kettle on but a surge of unease flooded her stomach when she noticed that Ben had narrowed eyes and he was looking at her with an almost blank expression. He wasn't usually like this, especially not when he was home early. Ben normally clung to (Y/n) like glue and ranted about his day or asked what she had been doing. He was a cheeky sod and it was unusual to see him unsettled like this.

"How was the scan?"

"What?"

"The scan, you know, it's something you have to check on the little one." Ben motioned his hand towards (Y/n)'s stomach and she watched his eyes momentarily soften when he glanced at her stomach before he looked back up at her.

"Oh, it was good, the baby's practically perfect in every way." The smile on (Y/n)'s lips didn't quite reach her eyes when she noticed that Ben pursed his lips in a way that was never a good sign.

(Y/n) took her cup from the cupboard and set it down in front of the kettle, feeling the cup tremble ever so slightly in her hand from nervousness. She didn't like the way Ben was looking at her, he was staring at her like there was something pressing on his mind and it concerned her. It was almost as if he thought she had done something wrong but he wasn't sure.

"That's good, no problems?"

"No, nothing's wrong."

(Y/n) never liked when Ben looked at her like that or like he was disappointed or when he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips and right now that was how he was looking at her. He made her feel nervous because she hated to upset him just like he hated to hurt or upset her in any way. Ben made (Y/n) nervous when he was like this with her and he knew it which was why (Y/n) couldn't keep secrets from Ben.

"You know I don't like it when you lie to me, sweetheart." Ben stood up from where he had previously been sat in the kitchen but he noticed the moment he advanced towards (Y/n) she shivered like she was suddenly afraid of him.

"W-what are you talking about?"

"The midwife rang, apparently you cancelled the appointment last week but haven't rearranged it yet and she's getting worried. Care to explain?"

Ben watched the colour drain from (Y/n)'s features like the blood was pouring out of a wound on her skin and he hated that he was making her nervous but he couldn't help it. She had lied to him and she was still trying to lie to him and Ben didn't tolerate anyone lying to him, especially not the person he loved and was married to.

(Y/n) suddenly found her mind drawing a blank, she could barely manage to lie to him about the scan but she didn't think what she would say if he caught onto the fact that she had been lying to him. There was nothing but the truth that she could tell him and that was something she didn't want to explain right now. She tilted her head down before daring to try and walk past him but she knew it wasn't going to work. Ben's arm reached out and secured around her waist and his head tipped down so he could look at her.

"Oh no, doll. You don't try and lie to me and then run away when you get caught. If I had got off work any earlier and said I could go to that appointment with you what would you have told me? That midwife seemed really concerned and you've missed more than one appointment. I haven't been to half of the scans for this baby so you tell me how many you've missed and why."

Ben was worried what would have happened if he could have gone to the scan after all because (Y/n) cancelled it a week ago and thought she could pull off lying to Ben about it. He was also worried about how many scans (Y/n) had missed because they were important, they made sure that the baby was okay and growing and developing properly and they made sure (Y/n) was okay. If there was a problem and (Y/n) was missing appointments then they wouldn't know if something was wrong.

"I-... I missed three appointments."

"Three? So you haven't been since I last went with you almost three months ago and you've lied to me about it? Why the fuck haven't you gone to any of them?"

Anything could have gone wrong in that time and (Y/n) had lied for three months about everything being okay and the appointments being fine. Ben wondered if (Y/n) didn't like the scans when he wasn't there because she never sounded enthusiastic. And he knew talking about the pregnancy wasn't something she was all that comfortable with but he didn't think it was anything as bad as this.

"Why does it matter? The baby's clearly fine you call them your little wriggler they never stop moving and kicking and it shows they're strong. And I'm fine, I don't need to go-"

"Doll there could be any number of complications and problems and you know it. You went to every one of James' scans when we had him even the two that I couldn't go, why is this so different?" Ben couldn't see why (Y/n) was so against going to a scan or why she seemed so against feeling close to this baby and this pregnancy.

Ben remembered very clearly when they were expecting James, (Y/n) had the usual nerves of a first-time mother but she had been so excited and eager. Ben loved the way she bubbled up with excitement when they went to each scan and she loved feeling James move and kick. (Y/n) had seemed so happy and ready and prepared herself and everything around her for when they had James. But this pregnancy wasn't going in the same direction and Ben knew it which was why he was getting worried.

(Y/n) didn't seem excited or thrilled or even all that happy about this pregnancy, all Ben could see was how worried she was becoming. Every so often when the baby kicked Ben would see (Y/n) smile and then suddenly her smile would drop and her eyes would gloss over like she had just remembered something terrible. It was as if (Y/n) wanted to be disconnected from this pregnancy no matter how many times she told Ben she was happy or couldn't wait for this baby.

If people talked to her about the pregnancy she seemed to sink in on herself and become uneasy.

There were only a handful of times where Ben could see (Y/n) was actually okay and happy about the pregnancy and it worried him. He knew (Y/n) had been happy when they had James and they had always talked about kids and he thought (Y/n) would be happy to have another baby.

"Doll, why aren't you happy about this baby?"

"I want this baby but I- I can't go through labour again."

(Y/n) watched the way Ben's expression dropped and his eyes seemed to darken in pain but when he tried to put his hands on her waist to pull her closer she pulled away. She swiped her hands under her eyes to try and rid the tears but more tears kept falling until her vision started to blur. When (Y/n) had James she couldn't bear the thought of having to go through labour a second time. Despite how badly (Y/n) wanted more children with Ben, what happened with James had scarred her too badly to want to go through it again. But now (Y/n) had no choice but to be put through that torture again and the thought was scaring her to the point she was willing to do almost anything to avoid it again.

"Oh doll... I know with James everything went to shit but this time it will be different-"

"You don't know that!" (Y/n) felt her chest starting to heave as her voice rose like her panic levels which were going through the roof the more she thought about it. Anytime she thought of labour she despised the baby she was carrying because it wouldn't be the baby who had to get hurt and go through the trauma, it was (Y/n). She had to endure it all for her child and the love she felt for her baby didn't feel like enough love to get her through the labour.

"Doll, it's okay to be scared."

"I'm not scared, I'm terrified! That midwife promised me everything would be okay and then you both let that doctor butcher me! I don't want to be hurt again for this baby I can't do it again I- I can't, Ben."

(Y/n) pressed her palm to her stomach but all she wanted was for the baby to disappear or already been born without the terror and inflicted pain that came with it. She didn't know how to deal with her upcoming labour because there was no way around it but (Y/n) was desperate to find a way because she couldn't get hurt again. If that doctor had never walked into her delivery room (Y/n) would have been fine, she would have coped with James' labour and would have gotten through it with the two midwives and Ben in the room with her. But from the moment he walked in he destroyed what was supposed to be a memorable exciting moment and he replaced it with terror and nightmares.

"Me? Doll I couldn't knock him out when he had James in his hands who wasn't breathing. And I didn't let him get away with what he did to you, that fucker can't butcher anyone else with mangled hands now can he." The anger in Ben's voice wasn't directed at (Y/n) and she knew that but she hated seeing Ben riled up like this. His muscles were tense and shaking and his breathing was deep and laboured.

James' birth hadn't been anything like Ben and (Y/n) had prepared themselves for.

He had been a week past his due date so labour had been induced but everything seemed to be fine right up until the last hour. The midwives had to call a doctor because James had become distressed and his heartbeat was dropping and all (Y/n) could figure out from their hushed whispers was that James was stuck.

When the doctor came into the room he had an attitude Ben didn't care for, he wasn't sympathetic and he didn't bother talking them through what was happening or tell them what he was doing. But Ben hated what he had done to (Y/n). She was a scared eighteen year old girl in labour who was getting concerned for her baby and he was crude and uncaring with her. He had to intervene and cut (Y/n) in order for James to be born and he gave (Y/n) no warning or indications as to what he was doing.

Ben could still hear the screams (Y/n) let out and the river of blood that soaked the sheets. He had butchered (Y/n) and when James was finally born he hadn't been breathing, one of the midwives had to take James from the doctor and get him to start breathing.

For a few dreaded moments in that delivery room Ben thought he was going to lose both his wife and son. (Y/n) had to have a blood transfusion from the amount of blood she lost when the doctor intervened and she blacked out more than once and then James hadn't been breathing and struggled for the first few days of his life.

"Doll, come here." Ben was slow and careful when he reached out for (Y/n) and pulled her into his chest, having had enough of watching her crying and feeling a desperate urge to comfort her.

(Y/n) buried her face in Ben's shirt but only for a few moments before she felt his hands gently cupping her face, tilting her head up so she was looking up at him. He didn't know how to stop her from panicking or fearing that she was going to be hurt in the same way that she was before but all he could do was reassure her that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her like that again. Ben would never forgive himself for not kicking that doctor out the moment he came in with the wrong attitude and an uncaring nature. But he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

"I know your afraid and I don't expect anything less, but we're eight months into this now and I'm sorry baby, I really am, but this baby is coming one way or another and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm calling that midwife back and getting you an appointment so she can talk you through this. You can't stop this from happening but at least you can be prepared and have some help."

No matter how many times (Y/n) said she didn't want to go through labour again despite wanting this baby, it was going to happen. There was no other way around it but at least if Ben took her to see the midwife then (Y/n) could have some help and support through this because she wasn't coping well at all.

The closer she got to her due date, the worse her anxiety was getting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay, well baby's a little on the small side but that's nothing to worry about, the heartbeat is strong and they seem perfectly healthy."

Ben looked up at (Y/n) intently, watching the way she smiled at the news and looked down at her stomach like she wished she had x-ray vision to be able to see the baby. But he could also see the anxiety pooling in her eyes because this appointment only showed her that in less than a month she would be reliving her worst nightmare.

He reached over and gently grazed his hand against (Y/n)'s stomach for a few seconds before (Y/n) sat up and cleaned the gel from her stomach. Ben could see in (Y/n)'s eyes that she wanted to say something along the lines of I told you so. She cancelled her appointments because she was scared and wanted to act like this pregnancy wasn't happening and she knew from a mother's instinct that the baby was okay. This only proved that she was right but Ben would rather be safe than sorry.

"Now, Ben told me that you've been getting worried about going into labour, if that's the case then we can help and try to prepare you for that." The midwife took a seat in front of the couple as (Y/n) pulled her shirt back down over her stomach. The light seemed to dwindle from (Y/n)'s eyes and the smile faded instantly from her lips at the change in topic.

"Can you stop it from happening?"

The sarcasm in (Y/n)'s voice was drowned out by fear and it made the midwife's expression fall and a sigh pass through her lips. It was never a good thing to have to console a worried mother but this kind of worry was the worst because there was nothing that could be done to avoid this.

"I'm afraid all I can do is try to ease your worries and prepare you for labour. (Y/n) there are many mothers with this kind of worry and I'm here to help you, what exactly is it about labour that's worrying you?"

"No one prepared me last time, no one told me a doctor could come in and cut me like a piece of meat and let me bleed out and go through that pain. No one said he could rip my baby from me like that and then not bother to help him when he wasn't breathing. How can you help me, can you stop me from going through labour again because I don't want to do it. I can't feel that kind of pain again I don't want to!"

There had been a lot of people who talked (Y/n) through what could happen during her first pregnancy, but not one person had said that a doctor might need to intervene. No one said she might need a doctor to cut her up in order to get her baby out who was stuck and in distress. And nobody told her that the doctor wouldn't need her permission in order to do that, he could waltz in whenever he liked and take charge of her body and the situation.

"Doll calm down." Ben stood up from his seat and rested his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders but his quiet words made no difference to her.

"No! No one is coming near me or this baby because I'm not going through that again." (Y/n) pushed herself off the bed she had been lying on but she didn't get two steps towards the door before Ben's hands were around her arms and he pulled her to a stand still.

"Doll I don't know what you want us to do... couldn't she have a C-section or something, then she doesn't have to go through it again?" Ben looked between (Y/n) and the midwife as he moved round so he was standing in front of (Y/n) allowing him to pull her into his chest. He knotted his hand in her hair, massaging his fingers into her scalp as his other arm wrapped around (Y/n)'s waist and it hurt Ben to feel how badly (Y/n) was shaking against him.

Her hands were fisting in his shirt tightly and he could feel her tears soaking into his shirt.

"C-sections are only if the mother is ill or unable to give birth naturally or if there is a problem with the baby."

"Then why didn't I get one before instead of him c-cutting me?" (Y/n) kept her face buried in Ben's shirt, not daring to look at the midwife because it wasn't her fault but her words were still making (Y/n) angry. Why couldn't she of had one with James when he became distressed rather than being sliced apart by a doctor who seemed to like hurting his patients.

"If the doctor had to intervene with your labour then I don't think there would have been time to give you a C-section. (Y/n) I can see how distressed the thought of labour is making you but this is your second pregnancy, most women don't need any intervention with a second baby. And although the hospital would be better, you could always have a home birth if that would make you feel any more comfortable."

"I don't want a home birth I don't want to give birth at all! I can't... I don't want to get hurt..."

(Y/n) tightened her hands in Ben's shirt but all she wanted to do was curl up and disappear. This baby didn't seem worth the pain that she would have to endure. James was worth the pain, he was their perfect boy but the point was (Y/n) didn't have a choice with that pain. Maybe she would have still endured it if she had the choice, she had loved James from the moment she found out she was pregnant and she would have gone through with that labour again for him.

But she didn't feel a connection with this baby because she was too afraid of how she might get hurt or become ill or even worse due to this baby. (Y/n) kept telling herself that when this was all over and done with, she would be okay. She would hold her baby and feel overwhelming love like she did with James and (Y/n) prayed to God that it was true. But (Y/n) didn't want to go through the pain to find out.

"Shh, shh doll it's okay. I swear no one's gonna hurt you this time, I won't let them touch you."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #imagine #BoRhap #dad! ben #murderer! ben #labour pains

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rebeccahpedersen · 6 years

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Predictions For The 2018 Toronto Real Estate Market!

TorontoRealtyBlog

Oh boy. Here we go again!

My “predictions” blog post for the fall of 2016 set a TRB-record with 202 posted comments, and the debate was fierce.

Will the 2018 predictions be any different?

As I remain exceptionally bullish for the Toronto market both long-term and medium-term, I think it follows that my short-term outlook has to be partially bullish as well.

Let’s look at some of the top stories that lay ahead for 2018, and my predictions for the market…

The Christmas holidays are a strange time for me.

I basically work non-stop from January 2nd until the end of June, and spend the summer working, save for Canada Day weekend at a cottage and two weeks in Idaho before the market ramps back up again after Labour Day.

Real estate is a faced-paced, dynamic industry, and those who don’t live and breathe real estate, don’t really work in the business.

When Christmas rolls around, I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.

Maybe that’s why I’m sitting in the office on December 29th, with my dog, Bella, staring at me from the corner of my desk, as I write a blog for January of 2018.

I loved spending time with my family over the holidays. My brother and his family were in from London, England, and as we only see them at Christmas and in the summer, every moment with them was extra-special.

I feel like I really bonded with my daughter, Maya, more than I ever have before through her 13 months in this world. I spent so much time with her over the holidays – full days! Something I had never done before, save for August’s vacation in Idaho.

Have you ever heard my all-time favourite comedian, David Cross, talk about his friends with babies?

He maintains that every person in the world without a child always says, “I’m not going to be ‘that guy’ when I have a baby, you know? Like become ‘those people with kids’ and all that, I won’t change.”

Then once they have their first-born, they regale you with long-winded, boring stories of every piece of minutiae about their kids: “David, oh boy, you wouldn’t believe my little guy, yesterday he was just staring at this grape….”

I’ve officially joined the club.

I can’t tell you how many stories I want to regale you with about my daughter, that mean everything in the world to me, and absolutely nothing to you.

For example, she loves anything “fluffy,” and she loves to rub it against her nose and lips. So she’ll pull the tiniest pieces of fabric off her blanket, and then hold this invisible thread between her thumb and forefinger and calmly run it back and forth under her nose for an entire half-hour car-ride.

Like I said – I’ve officially joined the club. And I have a hundred more stories, just like this one.

And in the midst of all of the incredible family-time over the holidays, part of me is longing to go back to work. I’m sure there are many other people, in many other industries, who feel just like I do. But I can’t help but think that so many folks with this passion (sickness?) work in the wonderful world of real estate.

So what’s in store for the Toronto real estate market in 2018?

Well as you might have assumed, I have a thought or two I’d like to share.

First, however, let me provide you with a few “predictions” from economists, banks, and other noted pundits.

RBC Economics predicted that Canada-wide average home prices would increase 2.2% in 2018.

PWC Canada didn’t provide a specific figure on appreciation, but did offer this:

Prospective homeowners may disagree, but industry players don’t feel Toronto is too expensive—certainly not in comparison to current world-class markets, including Vancouver. Most foresee continued immigration and investment, foreign and domestic, contributing to upward pressure on prices overall. And while there may be temporary price dips, no one should expect a major pullback on prices—barring an unexpected event that upsets the global economy or a major change in government policy.

Royal LePage CEO, Phil Soper, predicts that the Canada-wide home price will increase by 4.9% in 2018, and in Toronto, that number is even higher at 6.8%.

I know, I know – you laugh at the idea of the CEO of a real estate brokerage providing a bullish outlook on the market.

This Globe & Mail article says “a poll of Reuters analysts” expects the Canada-wide price to increase by 1.9% in 2018.

I’m not searching for only bullish forecasts. I Googled, and these were the results. And ironically, the only bearish forecast I found in my quick search was from a source you wouldn’t expect.

The Canadian Real Estate Association itself predicted that prices in Canada will drop 1.4% in 2018, and drop 2.2% in Ontario specifically.

There are no shortage of predictions out there, both bullish and bearish. I’m finding more bullish ones, but please – if you have an outlook from one of the Big-5 banks, please post in the comments below.

So now allow me to provide my predictions, on some of the biggest topics affecting real estate in Toronto, and then you can pick them apart to your heart’s delight.

Enjoy!

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1) The average home price will increase in Toronto, in 2018.

Why not start with a bang, right?

This is what everybody wants to talk about, and it’s really the only number we see thrown around in the media and among experts and prognosticators. Well, to be honest, sales data is thrown around a lot, but I feel that’s only used to prove a point about the market, whether one wants to show the market in a positive or negative light, when the price data isn’t telling the ‘right’ story.

For the rest of us, we don’t care about how many people are buying, but rather what they’re paying and how that affects us.

So before we begin the discussion, perhaps a refresher is necessary.

As I write this, I don’t have the ‘final’ 2017 average home price (ie. sale) from TREB, and for fear of waiting until Friday the 5th, or Monday the 8th, I figured I would use the year-to-date figure from November as a place-holder.

Keep in mind – that “year-to-date” number encompasses all sales from January 1st to November 30th; that’s 87,513 sales. So tack on, say, another 5,000 in December, and I don’t expect the needle to move that much.

For example, the November 2016 YTD figure was $729,849, and the full 2016 figure at year’s end was $729,837.

So I think for our purposes, we can use the November 2017 YTD number in the context of where the market has been in the past three decades.

This is the chart I used in my first blog post of 2017, so let’s update it with one more line of text and take a look:

So the first thing you’ll notice is that the average home price, or sale price, in 2017 shows $827,608, and yet the November number was only $761,757, down from $780,000 and change in October.

You might cry, “This is misleading, since the chart shows this whopping 13.4% increase, but home prices aren’t averaging $827,608 – they’re down in the mid-to-high $700’s.”

The latter part of that is true; prices aren’t up over $800,000, currently, based on the past month.

But keep in mind, that these numbers represent the average sale through the year. So when the average sale was up to $920,000 in April of 2017, this is being incorporated into the full calendar-year average.

So a 13.4% increase in 2017, after a whopping 17.3% increase in 2016. And I have the audacity to suggest that we’ll see an increase yet again?

Correct.

And I’m up against a monster here, when you think about it.

The average home price in November of 2017 was $761,757. For me to say, “The average home price in 2018 will increase…….above the final number from December of 2017,” would be a slam-dunk, no?

I ask of ye bears, answer me this: do you think that the average yearly home price in 2018 could be below the monthly home price for November or December of 2017, ie. that of some $760,000’ish? Surely even the most bearish folks can’t predict that with a straight face, given the “hot pockets” of April, May, and June, not to mention September, will inflate that figure.

But the slam-dunk aside, I’m going to take it a step further, and shoot well outside the paint, and perhaps even into 3-point territory here.

I do believe that upon the completion of 2018, the average home price (I keep saying “home price” but we’re really talking about the sale price) for the year will be higher than the $827,608’ish figure that we’ll see for 2017.

The “monster” I spoke of above refers to the fact that within that $827,608��ish number lays those huge averages from March and April that were $916,567 and $920,791 respectively. So in theory, we’d have to see two months above those numbers, in 2018, to beat the year-end average.

In theory, perhaps.

But in practice, I see a much smoother ride for the 2018 market, with far less volatility, and a more typical “trajectory,” if you will.

In most years, the market begins slow in January, ramps up through March, and we see a frenzy in April, May, and June, before a calmer summer.

In 2017, the market started hot right out of the gates, and with a 50% decrease in listings, plus more buyers out there (sales were 12% higher, despite the 50% drop in listings), the result was the dramatic increase in prices on a monthly basis (see the chart in prediction #2 for reference).

By the time April rolled around, combining general buyer fatigue with the Liberal government’s “Fair Housing Plan,” we saw a dramatic drop in both sales, as well as average sale price.

The summer was an absolute dead zone.

And while the September average freehold price rallied 11% over that of August (also in chart below in prediction #2), it wasn’t a strong enough fall market to get us back to where we were in the spring.

So what do I expect to be different in 2018?

Everything. Basically, the opposite of all those points above.

I expect the market to start slow, unlike in 2017 (more on this in prediction #4 below), as buyers “adjust” to new mortgage rules (more on this in prediction #3 below, as you see everything is somewhat intertwined).

Personally, I think January and February are going to be great months to buy, as I expect things to ramp up in the spring.

In previous years, the slow January and February months led to four extremely busy months in March, April, May, and June, and that’s how I see this year shaping up.

The big difference in 2018, however, is that we won’t have the market stop-on-a-dime as it did in 2017, with the “Fair Housing Plan” announcement. I mentioned above that I think “buyer fatigue” had set in, and I do believe that even without the FHP being introduced, I think the market would have cooled off. But to the same extent? Not a chance.

As I’ve written before in multiple blogs, I dont’ think the FHP itself had any tangible effect on the market (save for rentals), but rather the general “idea” of the Fair Housing Plan did.

Preceeding the FHP, of course, was the “Toronto Housing Summit,” which just based on the way the government was speaking, and the media was reporting, made it sound like the government was about to do something drastic.

Along with the “idea” of government intervention, comes the imagery.

And this clasic photo of Charles Sousa, John Tory, and Bill Morneau – three men who were about to “enact change,” was almost set up to mimic Woodrow Wilson, Lloyd George, and Georges Clemenceau…

Hyperbole on my part, I know.

But as the media continued to report, and photos like the one above began to surface, the public took notice. And why wouldn’t they? Real estate has always been an incredibly hot topic, if not the hottest, over the last few years. All this talk of a “real estate summit” was bound to be seen and heard.

In the end, it scared the crap out of people.

Throw in Kathleen Wynne, standing in front of a giant poster, talking about how “unfair” the real estate market is, and how the Liberal government is going to change all that, and as we know, the market came to a screetching halt in April.

Governments can, and have demonstrated that they will, enact policies to effect change, no matter the need, the level of support, the results, and/or the unintended consequences. And I believe that with talk about a “Housing Summit” preceding a Liberal government, capable of anything, standing in front of a podium talking about “Change” like Obama in 2008, many existing buyers were petrified with fear.

As I’ll explain in prediction #6, I think we’ve heard the last from the government as it pertains to the real estate market, at least for a while.

And without a massive knife to the fish-guts of the market like we saw last April, I see the Toronto market starting 2018 steady-as-she-goes, and gaining momentum, ever-so-slowly, through the end of the year.

Say goodbye to the volatility, hyperactivity, and hyper-appreciation of 2017.

But you won’t be saying goodbye to the price points…

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2) The freehold market will outpace the condo market.

An absolutely crazy thing happened in the 2017 real estate market.

No – I’m not referring to the 26.1% increase in the average home price from December of 2016 to April of 2017.

No – I’m not referring to the subsequent 18.4% decrease in the average home price from April to November.

I’m referring to the idea that the condo market outpaced the freehold market, across the board, in every category.

In my year-end blog post, somebody asked me facetiously, “When are you going to buy a house?” Another reader said I should put my money where my mouth is.

I tell every single buyer that I interract with, “A house will out-appreciate a condo, no question about it.” It’s then up to the buyer to decide if he or she can afford a house, otherwise, there’s really no decision to be made.

I live in a condo, in part, because as an occupational hazard, it’s nearly impossible for me to find the “perfect house.” But I also live in a condo because I work an obscene amount of hours, and I simply don’t have time for the upkeep on a house, as much as I would have loved to live in one over the past few years.

But ask me what is a better investment, a house or a condo, and I’ll tell you honestly, that while my condo has appreciated nicely since I purchased it, all of my friends, to whom I sold houses around the same time, are laughing all the way to the bank.

So having said all this, I suppose now is the part where I go back to the point above – that in 2017, condos actually out-appreciated condos.

And nobody, and I mean nobody, saw this coming.

Like me, most people assume that houses will always out-appreciate condos. How can they not? There are thousands of new condominium units completed in the central core each and every year, but save for the rare occasion when a large bungalow is torn down, the lot is sub-divided, and two houses are built where one house once stood, we’re really not building any more houses!

More people want to own houses than condos, and if prices were equal, there’s no question that just about everybody would choose a house.

So it’s altogether shocking that the condo market performed the way it did in 2017.

Take a look at the chart below, which shows you the average sale price for both freehold in Toronto (416) each month in 2017, as well as for condos (also 416).

And for those of you wondering where I got the freehold numbers, since strangely, TREB’s Market Watch doesn’t provide these (are you listening, Jason Mercer?), I devoted an hour to inputting all the freehold numbers for each month, and taking a weighted average based on the number of each detached, semi-detached, and townhouse. Email me if you’re interested in the calculations.

Shocking!

The average sale price for freehold finished the year (November) only up 1.6%, since December of 2016, but condos were up 19.0%.

The condo market just seemed to be a bit less volatile, and the gains were steady.

Note that in February, when the average freehold price increased 18.2% from January, the average condo price only increased 9.3%. This made it a lot easier for the condo market to continue on a “slow and steady” pace.

We could spend all day on this chart (which would be nice, since I spent an hour on it…), but we must move on.

Bottom line: what happened in 2017 was an abberation. For the average condo price in Toronto (416) to increase 19.0%, and the average freehold price to increase 1.6%, simply shows me that it’s absolutely, positively, impossible for this to happen again.

You might even argue that as a result of 2017, freehold prices, where they are right now, are actually quite reasonable.

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I certainly didn’t mean for this to turn into a 2-part blog post, but I have about 5-6 other points I want to make, and I think I’ll lose some of the skimmers here if I keep going.

Let’s adjourn until Thursday!

The post Predictions For The 2018 Toronto Real Estate Market! appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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