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#this took WAY more time than it should've :(
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Lime Milkshake
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Non-Idol Choi San x (f)Reader
Summary: Love is not a feeling that comes without a cost, a give-and-take relationship that flourishes if both ends of the line meet at a pleasant frequency. Choi San had yet to understand that concept, especially when he deemed himself to be unworthy of love, in all its forms.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 5.1k
Est Read Time: 25 minutes
Warnings: past relationship trauma, language, ghosting (it triggers me so yes)
Rating: PG-13
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @san-network
Banner: @cafekitsune
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Fate had never been fair, not with anyone who ever dared to dance with it, and luck was often watching from the sidelines, that's exactly how he felt when he saw her walk in with another man that day, watching the way she laughed at something the stranger had said to her- whispered to her, leaning closer to her, who knew the girl he had given his heart to was busy fooling around with it. That day he had stomped out of the shop, making sure to walk past her, feeling her body tense up, breath hitch and eyes widen as she turned her head to face him, locking her panicked orbs with his cold, hard ones-, a look she had never been a victim to before. That was the last time he had seen her, spoken to her, responded to her texts or even made the effort to open the door.
The thing about love is that it leaves a mark, an imprint that one may either wear proudly or cover with shame. She wasn't the first person he had been with, no, he had been in a few other situationships- unfortunately, she wasn't a situationship, she was a relationship, much like his previous ex- the one who had cheated on him with his own best friend, ironically his best friend was unaware of the relationship. He never thought that one night he'd visit her apartment, to surprise her, a day before his birthday, that he wanted to celebrate with his lover, his Bora, his angel, and find none other than Jung Wooyoung with her on her bed. It took Wooyoung four days to force San out of his room and another six for him to actually communicate with him, Bora was already out of the story, someone who didn't even bother calling back San or trying to reach out to him. That day Wooyoung had seen his best friend implode, keeping it in more than his introverted self ever did before, he was shy by nature and was one to put up a strong front to match his physical presence (the current big mountainous one) the old Sannie was as fragile as his porcelain heart, the recent development however was the addition of his nonchalance followed by his tactic to ignore the situation. The younger man had practically broken into his apartment to talk to him, only to find him mindlessly scrolling on his phone, he sat beside him, trying to talk to him but what he had received was a step ahead of the silent treatment- it was as if he was invisible like he wasn't even there. To get a reaction when Wooyoung had snatched it out of his hand and flung it across the room, the man simply grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, mumbling to himself about some movie- it was only two hours in of him sitting with Wooyoung in silence when his head whipped in the direction of his friend, at the sound of a broken sob, he'd never seen Wooyoung cry, let alone sob like that. It was after that when the two finally talked it out, how Wooyoung explained how he never knew San was in a relationship with Bora, and perhaps San shouldn't have hidden his relationship with her if he truly loved her, even if she had asked for it, he should've at least kept him in the loop.
He did thus keep him in the loop, for one fine afternoon Wooyoung had received a text from San, while he was busy cleaning at home, 
"It's over, don't meet her anymore, she's just like her."
Her- two years had passed and she still haunted his best friend, keeping him awake at night until he met someone else, Wooyoung was glad he had, for once San had met someone different, someone who would pull out San from the bubble he hid in, she was honest but careful with her words which Wooyoung had noticed, the two had met at a 7-Eleven at midnight, buying a lime milkshake and bonding over how disgusting of a midnight snack that was- though San had told him how she had done most of the talking, even while he walked her home she was talking, they had exchanged numbers because she had suggested becoming "mid-night snack buddies"- initially Woo thought she meant that sexually, but ironically she didn't, there was no other implication, but honest words of sincerity, a range of snacks were exchanged and shared and slowly San had begun to fall again, only this time he knew his mountain of a friend would fall into her arms and she'd catch him. Or so he thought, the text itself was something that had scared him, as soon as he read it, he was quick to leave his home to his friend's side, only to find her at his door, crying and asking for his help. Initially, he had thought she was no different, just as San had suggested, but it occurred to him how Bora had never cried like this, never tried to fight for San- if she truly was different then she would try no matter what, which is why he had decided to stay out of the matter, only advising her to "Don't give up on him." San, at the realisation that this was Wooyoung's advice, was, to say the least, enraged. His now ex would be at his door all the time, he blocked her number and email address, and made sure she couldn't find him on social media, at one point she began to show up at his door, knocking, gently calling him out, "Sannie, please I- I don't know what I've done, but please listen to me or at least talk to me." He'd ignore her diligently, making sure to leave a message, of how he didn't want her, how she was like her, how she was no different and how he was not someone to play around with. This went on for months, five to be exact, not that he was counting, she came to his door whenever she knew he was home from work, gently knocking on the door, "Hey... it's me, I just wanna talk." "Sannie, please, please just tell me what I did wrong?" "I hope you're taking care of yourself..." "Hey...Wooyoung told me about her...I'm not her San, I'm not Bora-"That was the last time he had heard from her, that night, he had almost opened the door, instead opting to lean his forehead against it, listening to her laboured breathing, "I- I don't know why you think I'd ever do that to you...I don't even know what I did to trigger this- please San, I know you're there. I know you can hear me- everyone in this building thinks I'm insane, like I'm a lunatic- I don't care about that but San I- please don't ghost me like that, don't pretend I never existed....just open the door...if you won't I..." he had heard the way her voice had cracked, his own resolve had begun to crack as well, but when he closed his eyes to keep the waterworks at bay, the image that flashed in front of his eyes was not hers- it was of the one who did this to him, he was so distracted by the face of his ex that he had almost missed her final call, "I won't bother you anymore."
It wasn't fair how all he asked was for true love, yet he was given something bitter as this every time he received any, it was unfair how he'd still cling to the memories, onto the habits and the little activities, only to make himself feel better, to feel whole again. It wasn't fair how he was now climbing down the damp, slippery stairs, on his way to have a disgusting, cold, unworthy lime milkshake. It took him a while to come out of the habits he had developed with Bora, but now that he thinks about it, those comprised of usually pleasing his ex, it was different with her, she'd usually look for a middle ground. Scoffing to himself he stuffed his hands in his jacket, what did it matter, he hadn't heard from her since that night, he hadn't heard from her for almost a year, she was no different, at the end it was only-
"Ah!" 
His ears picked up a loud thump, followed by the sound of things clattering around, a pained cry had him focusing on a crouched figure, leaning against the wall almost at the base of the stairs- oh no, they must've slipped. Making his way quickly, but carefully down the remaining concrete steps he clicked his tongue at the figure, a woman, "Miss, are you okay?" He asked as she watched her gripping her ankle, and let out a shaky breath, she couldn't hear him. Moving closer he tapped her shoulder, "Miss, do you need.... help..." his words died down as his eyes locked with a familiar misty pair, which widened upon a sudden realisation. Honestly, she was quicker than him, shaking her head and mumbling an, "I'm fine", before trying to reach for her bag and its fallen contents hastily, not sparing him a glance.
Did she change her hair?
Did he change his hair?
Her mind raced with a thousand questions, but she didn't listen to any, quickly trying to stuff whatever she had dropped, back in her bag, her keys, her wallet, her perfume, and her…her phone? A gasp escaped her as she continued to frantically look around, hands slapping against the dimly lit stairs, cringing at the wet dirt that stuck to her palm.
He watched her silently, frozen in the spot as he tried to process what had just happened, how did he not notice her walking before him? He hadn't noticed anyone at all, why was she out at this hour? It was still drizzling a bit; it was cold and- since when did she wear wide-legged pants? Sandals in the rain? His ear picked up her little gasp, picking up her little "Where's my phone...", he saw the glint of the device on two steps below, making his way around her to go down quietly. 
She felt his gaze on her, somewhat humiliated, somewhat angry and truly upset. Why was he not helping her? Was he just going to stand there and watch? The San she knew wasn't like this, he was cold-hearted- she saw him crouch down to grab something, her phone- shit- the screen lit up, reflecting off his eyes that had widened for a split second before he closed them, letting out a sigh and locking the screen.
He picked up her phone, pushing the lock button to check the damage, only for his breath to hitch at the sight of her wallpaper, it was the first couple picture they had taken together, one she had coaxed him into after three months of being together;
"Don't worry, it won't have your face or mine." "I... how?" "Watch, just stop walking." She instructed as he stood still, still carrying her on his back, this was a habit that developed when she'd come to the store after leaving work way later than she had imagined, which is why walking back was a bother, so he had brought up this suggestion, "You're wearing trousers anyway." Regardless of how worried she was, he held her with ease, carrying her up the same steps they were now on.
This picture was a shadow of the two, with her on his back, this was the picture she had as her wallpaper when they were dating as well- a year ago. He walked over to her, looking at her face, trying to read through her turmoil, something twisting within him as she stared up at him for a split second before looking away, the familiar words ringing in his ears, "I'm not Bora." 
She looked away from his face, chewing on her lower lip, almost ashamed that he had caught her like this, that he had found out how she still hadn't moved on, as she tried to move her leg, only to wince, eying the reddened ankle swelling as the now tight strap of her sandal pressed against the skin. 
Crouching down he slipped her phone into her back before gently pulling it out of her hand, turning around before she could protest as he stood there, facing ahead, pondering for a moment, before sitting down on the step after hers, quietly waiting for her to understand the signal.
"I- I'm fine, I can walk-"
He sighed, turning around to look at her with a frown, "You can't walk."
"I don't need your help," she looked away, slowly trying to stand up as she braced herself for the pain, only for him to grab onto her arm and move it around his shoulder, manoeuvring so she had to cling onto him when he stood up at full height, arms wrapping around his neck as he hooked his arms under knees.
"No, you do need my help. You don't want my help." He sighed, as he slowly started making his way down the last step, walking down the pathway, ignoring how she let out a shaky breath, her fingers digging into his cotton shirt when he took a quick step, the jerk causing her to wince, making him mumble a small "Sorry."
"It's okay..." she whispered, her warm breath against his neck causing him to shiver, as he cleared his throat to distract himself, before asking her the real question, "Where were you headed?"
"...7/Eleven."
He stopped walking.
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"Why?"
"I think you know why."
That's how the two found themselves sitting on the footpath, grimacing at the weird taste of the lime milkshake, watching the once-in-a-blue-moon car pass by, her bag in between them. She didn't know he had finished before her, but he had stood up and walked back inside the shop, causing her to turn her upper body to look at him walk inside, he'd grown prettier since the last time she saw him- well he was always pretty- she quickly turned back when he came outside with a paper bag in hand, trying to act casual, only that failed when he crouched down in front of her reaching for her ankle, "ITS OKAY-"
Clicking his tongue, he glanced up at her, narrowing his eyes when she cleared her throat, letting him have a look. Folding up the wide end of her pant leg he frowned, "This is bad..." he mumbled, undoing her sandal buckle with deft fingers, watching the imprint in the swollen, pink skin, "Since when did you where such pants?"
"I was trying something new." She sighed, placing the empty bottle of her shake next to her, reaching for her ankle, "I-I'll put some ice on it, it's fine."
"Why did you do it?"
His question caught her off guard, causing her to look at him all confused for a second, before pouting "Wear...sandals? Cause they matched-"
"Cheat on me."
"What?" She frowned, "I didn't cheat on you- San, I understand that lady hurt you, but I'm not her and if you weren't ready to move on, you should've said so." She scoffed, amused and angered by the fact that she had been crying each night for a man, who couldn't see past his ex, what was she? Some form of comfort cushion for him to use when he'd miss his ex?
"Then" he placed his hand on her ankle, gently massaging it, though he narrowed his eyes, glaring at her, a contrast between the way he looked at her and the way he was touching her ankle, "Who was that guy? At the cafe? You don't think I noticed how he was whispering to you?"
Reaching forward she slapped his hand, hard, only for her palm to hit her own ankle in the process, hissing in pain as she looked at him tear-eyed.
"OW- WHY WOULD YOU- ARE U MAD?" He yelled, pushing her hand away as he tenderly ran his thumb over the bluish skin, "Why would you hit your own bruise?" He sighed, before pulling out an ointment from the paper bag with his other hand, ignoring the way she was glaring at him, maybe she did lose her mind when they broke it off.
He had begun massaging the ointment on her ankle, not looking at her, though he could feel her glaring daggers at him, watching him work on her, and for some reason, though he didn't care, he didn't mind. It was as if the voice inside of him was berating him, scolding him for letting his insecurities get the best of him, pushing away the only person who had accepted to glue back the shattered pieces of his heart, promising to place in pieces of hers in the cracks that were left by missing pieces.
"I hate you." 
His hands paused, one holding her ankle and his other hand holding the gauze, not an ounce in him wanted to look at her, wanted to see the hurt that swirled in her eyes, her words hung in the air, still as the mist on a cold bitter morning, perhaps such as this one, it was already past midnight. Clearing his throat, he continued his work as if nothing had happened, not daring to look up at her. Once he was done, he inspected his work before standing up, ignoring how her head followed his movements, still looking up at him, as if waiting for an answer, though he had nothing to give her, she hadn’t answered his question as well, she had only rejected the accusation. He grabbed her sandals in one hand and slung her bag over his shoulder before turning around and crouching down once more, the expanse of his back at her view, making her scoff, but she slowly got on, mumbling an ‘I still hate you.’
He had been making his way up the steps when he began to feel her tighten her arms around his neck, ignoring her for a minute or two, maybe she was scared she’d fall, so he let it be. That is until it became a bit too difficult for him to breathe for which he wheezed out,
“I can’t breathe.”
She let out a small gasp, “Aww…really?” before her grip tightened causing him to stop on a step, coughing out her name.
“That’s how I felt EVERY NIGHT when you IGNORED ME!”
Her grip loosened to its usual strength as he coughed for air, one of his hands flat against the wall as he tried to steady himself, letting go of her uninjured leg, feeling it wrap around him, wiping away a bit of drool with the back of his hand he hissed in anger, “You still haven’t told me who he was? What do you take me for-
“AN IDIOT, I TAKE YOU FOR AN IDIOT!”
“WHAT?” turning his head to glare at her, he frowned as she leaned over his shoulder to glare back with the same intensity, the volume of their voices wasn’t helping either, if anyone were to see them they’d probably call the cops, though that didn’t stop him from finally blowing up, letting out everything he should have the first time she came over to apologise, “WHY?  WHY AM I THE IDIOT WHEN ALL I DID WAS WAIT FOR YOU AT THE CAFÉ LIKE YOU ASKED ME TO? AND THEN YOU BRING OVER SOME GUY AND-
“HE WAS THE F*CKING REAL ESTATE AGENT AND HE IS GAY!”
Just like the previous statement she had bombarded him with, her words hung in the air around them once more, the only sound that was evident to the ear was their heavy breaths, though he could see the way her ears had turned pink, not from the cold nipping at her but the anger that he had caused to run through her veins, “I- I can’t believe you, you walked out on me, you never let me explain and- and all I wanted to do was to surprise you with an apartment we could share.” She sighed, slowly letting go of him, causing him to panic, though she pulled back holding the handrail, “Just give me my stuff, thanks for today, just pretend none of this happened, you’re good at that anyway.”
Turning around to look at her he watched her reach for her bag that he was still holding onto, only for him to pull away, biting his lip to hold back the flood of emotions, especially when she looked up at him all exhausted, “I really did think Wooyoung was right, that you’d give me a chance but- I, I don’t think you were ready for something new and-
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, catching her off guard, eyes widening at the way he looked down at his shoes, holding onto her purse like it was his own, or perhaps he was holding onto something that was hers, the only piece that was not taken away, much like the memories of her, of how she loved him through the darkest patches of his life, how she spent time peeling away each layer with delicate movements, how she spent most of her time trying to understand him, how she’d be there with her melody, trying to soothe his aching soul, only for him to toss her out when the voices inside became so loud he couldn’t hear her’s anymore.
“You’re…sorry?”
“Yeah, I- Hey!” he almost lost his footing when she shoved him, staring at her in shock, for the love of God, they were still on the stairs, “Don’t do that,” he held onto her wrists when she almost shoved him again.
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me she hurt you like that, you- don’t you think I would’ve stayed with you? I love you- I- I helped you as much as I could and if I knew you needed professional help I would’ve stayed by your side- did I not love you enough for you to realise that?” her words cut through him, it was as if reality had come and punched him in the face for her, “What’s the point of being so tough of on the outside when you’re hurting on the inside, indirectly hurting everyone who chooses loves you…” He watched her sigh, her resolve breaking as she looked up at him, streaks of fresh tears painting her face, causing his breath to hitch at the sight- no, if he had opened the door on the first day he would’ve cracked, he would’ve crumbled at her feet and to think he didn’t, to think he had let her cry like this at his doorstep for so long, to have her break down, to lose a piece of her every night because he was too afraid to confront her, even though she had come to him, fate was not cruel to him, no, for once fate had pitied him, by sending him a form of compensation he was unworthy of, a form of love that he was unworthy of, for he was unworthy of her.
“I…” his head hung low, fingers tightening around her wrists as he let out a quiet sob, before he slowly sat down, the world around him spinning a bit too fast, though he did not know she had followed after, he didn’t even know when he started bawling his eyes out, his deafening cries were being muffled by her shoulder as she hugged him close, a soothing hand rubbed his back, though she never shushed him, never asked him to stop, in fact, it was as if she was encouraging him to continue crying, to let it all out. Soon his sobs turned into incoherent apologies, which morphed into hiccups of her name, squeezing her close to him as she pressed his face into her neck, whining and mumbling about- honestly, she couldn’t even understand him, she was just glad he had finally decided to let it out, to finally feel whatever he had barricaded away, whatever was stopping him from loving and feeling loved. He doesn’t know how long it took, but he’s sure it was after a solid twenty minutes when he finally peaked up at her, catching the way she gave him a small smile, only for him to whine and hide back in her neck, mumbling, “Do you still hate me?”
“I don’t hate you San, I just hate what you did to me.” She sighed, slowly peeling him off her as she cupped his face, taking note of his puffy eyes and red nose, her thumbs caressing the warm and wet skin below his eyes, “I don’t think I deserved to be punished for something I didn’t do.” He could only meekly nod at her statement, before sniffing and letting out a shaky breath, followed by another apology which she nodded at. Standing up he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, before he picked up her things once more, turning around so she could hop onto his back.
“I can slowly walk there, you know?” she asked only for him to shake his head, not even turning to look at her as he did so, just waiting for her to do as he asked, which she did thankfully.
The walk to her apartment was quiet, though not as tense as the walk to the store was, or before they finally fought, in fact, she felt quite better, she didn’t really know about him, but it had been a long time since she had felt this light as if the weight of the horrid world had been lifted of her shoulders. Ever so often, she’d hear him sniff, but that was all, halfway up the elevator ride to her apartment she felt him gripping her tighter, closer, though she did not say anything.
It was when she was at the door when she tried to move but he didn’t let go, instead stood there facing the door with her on his back, not saying a word or moving an inch.
“San.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t lose you again.”
She sighed at his statement, before giving what was similar to a back hug, placing a kiss on his shoulder, slowly slipping out when he eased because of her antics. Limping over to the door she finally unlocked it, turning to look up at a dejected mountain of a man, holding onto her pink sandals in one hand, while on his shoulder clutched close to his body was her hot pink purse, if this wasn’t a serious moment she may have even laughed. Still, the sight of him standing there, like a kitten kicked in the rain had her gripping the doorknob, wondering what she should do next, was it worth the effort? Was giving him another chance worth the risk of the pain? All that therapy she had to go through when she decided to move on- but had she moved on? Well, she thought she did, until she met him again tonight until he began to carry her down the stairs, until she realised he too was going for that horrid drink, until he sat there quietly drinking it with her, until he began to treat her injury as if nothing had happened- perhaps a part of her did not want to move on, or was she waiting to see if he had moved on?
“I can’t just…forget everything San.” She finally gave into the rational part of her being, “I can’t help someone, who doesn’t want to help himself,” looking up at him she noticed the way his eyes had watered, his lower lip trembling, much like his shoulders, “I need to know if what I’m fighting for is worth it? Are we really worth it, Sannie?”
His ears picked up the little nickname, most people who were close to him would call him that, but when the name slipped off her tongue, his heart grew bigger three sizes, his heart grew braver three sizes, something ignited within his soul, his fingertips tingling with a new found sensation, his eyes met hers, eyes burning with a new found determination, a newfound realisation, “We are. I need to make it up to you, I want to make it up to you, I will make it up to you…” he paused, before taking a deep breath, “Only if you let me.”
She looked at him quietly, taking in his words, perhaps she had woken up someone who lay asleep for years, slowly losing himself within the broken shell of a man who walked aimlessly around the Earth claiming to be Choi San, perhaps this was the real Choi San, the one Wooyoung had told her to fight for, the one Wooyoung had told her would love her endlessly, would hold onto her tighter than she’d hold onto him, the one who was to bring down the galaxy and present it to her on his palm, all wrapped within his love and admiration for her.
“I have to go for talking therapy at 8 pm tomorrow.”
“We have to go for our talking therapy at 8 pm tomorrow.” With that he handed her the purse, leaning closer to the door before opening it and picking her up princess style, her sandals still hanging off his fingers as she scoffed, wrapping her arms around him, “You’re sleeping on the couch though.”
“As long as I still have a date with you tomorrow.”
“Again, it’s therapy.”
“Therapy dates can be our thing.” He smiled down at her, a genuine smile, a smile that she had barely seen, one that came with the dimples and the crinkle of his nose, his teeth peaking out at her, contagious enough for her to morph a similar smile, perhaps not as pretty as his, but for him, it was the brightest, most beautiful, most charming smile he had ever seen, the very sight he would long for each night, when his self-induced state of pity would subside and the kinder, selfless San would resurface, the one who had decided to set the same picture as his wallpaper as her own- that’s why he was so shocked to find out that even though the two hadn’t met for almost a year, or talked to each other, they somehow still happened to have the same wallpaper- guess fate really did know what she was doing, enough to have the two craving the disgusting, ungodly lime milkshake.
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Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @the-kpop-simp @mlysalt @spooo00oky
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writerbri · 2 days
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This is a short fluff without plot bucktommy drabble. I want to get into writing them more including the dom!tommy sub!buck fic that won't leave me alone, but I just wanted to write something simple to get a feel for them. It's been so long since I actually wrote anything for the show that it feels like I'm brand new to it, tbh.
•••
"I wish I knew you sooner."
Buck breathes the words like a confession, almost hoping they'll go unheard. He doesn't even know where the thought came from, but it seems to play on repeat in his mind as soon as he speaks it into existence.
It's too early in the morning after a too long shift, and he knows that it's still mostly dark outside without having to look. There's a chill in the air but he's warm, burrowed beneath messy covers and curled back-to-chest in the arms of a man who runs hot more often than not.
Not just any man.
His boyfriend.
Buck's mouth twitches into a smile he can't quite contain as he tugs on the arm draped lazily over his waist. Tommy grumbles out a series of syllables that might be words if he weren't every bit as tired from his own shift, but he doesn't pull back.
He moves even closer, if possible, nuzzling at the back of Buck's neck and pressing a soft kiss just behind his ear. Goosebumps break out over his skin at the sensations and Buck is helpless to the swell of utter contentment that blooms in his chest.
He almost thinks that his wish might come true, and that Tommy may not have heard him, as he traces his fingers over the grooves and scars on Tommy's hand. He aligns their palms and notes, not for the first time, that his own hand is ever so slightly smaller. It's something that pleases him more than he can really express.
"M'not sure you'd've liked me sooner," Tommy says, his voice rough with sleep in a way that does things to Buck.
He feels a low tug of something hot in his belly, and can't help the shiver that wracks his body. Tommy mistakes it for something else and pulls his hand away, much to Buck's chagrin, to tug the covers up higher over them both.
"I would've," Buck argues, almost petulant in his disbelief, taking his hand back to lace their fingers.
Tommy snorts quietly, dropping another kiss to his shoulder.
"I'm sure you've heard the stories," he says, a note of regret in his tone.
Buck more than understands, even if their situations weren't quite the same.
"There's more than a few stories about me floating around," he says casually, because talking about the man he once was doesn't sting like it used to. "I've hit a few rough patches. It took a long time for me to understand why everyone didn't just write me off. Sometimes I still wonder if they should've."
It's a lingering insecurity that Buck didn't really mean to voice, and he shrinks in on himself before he can help it. He hears the sheets rustle behind him as Tommy shifts, propping himself up on one elbow and slipping his other hand free to rub his thumb over the tense muscles of Buck's shoulder.
"I've heard how they all talk about you, Evan. You're loved by everyone, more than you know."
Buck lets the words cover him like a blanket, his eyes falling closed at Tommy's gentle kneading.
"Well, I went through a few software updates to get here, I guess."
Tommy laughs unexpectedly, bright and carefree, and Buck can't help but smile at the sound of it.
"Software updates?"
Buck doesn't bother explaining it all to him, instead rolling on his back to finally face him. Tommy's hair is messy in the dim morning light, still curly from the short shower he took before stumbling into bed. He has a few days worth of scruff on his jaw that looks unimaginably good on him, and Buck feels that tug of want again.
"Just had to figure out some stuff about myself along the way," he says dismissively, running his hand over Tommy's arm and appreciating the strong curve of his biceps beneath his touch.
Being with a man comes with a wealth of new experiences, and new discoveries about himself. Realizing just how much he likes dating someone who is every bit as strong as himself is among those realizations.
"Well, it's a good thing you haven't had any recent earth-shattering revelations about yourself, huh?" Tommy teases.
Buck grins in response, shuffling on the bed until he's laid out underneath him. Tommy doesn't miss a thing, one eyebrow lifting as he moves slowly until his hands are planted on either side of him. Buck lets his legs fall open without really thinking about it, but Tommy stays hovering over him.
"You think maybe you wish that you'd have figured out all of this sooner instead?" he asks, tipping his head to the side.
Buck knows what he means, and there's no denying that he wishes he'd have figured himself out long ago. He thought that he knew what it was like to feel wholly himself until the moment he realized that his jealousy wasn't aimed quite where he thought. But that doesn't mean he wishes any less that he'd met Tommy sooner. He suspects it may have saved him a lot of grief.
"I do," Buck admits, stroking his fingers lazily over Tommy's arm. "But both can be true, right?"
Tommy's eyes grow soft, and he finally sinks down into the cradle of his hips as his hand lifts to cradle Buck's cheek.
"Of course."
Turning his head, Buck brushes a light kiss over his wrist and earns an eye-crinkling smile for it.
"Sweetheart," Tommy murmurs, running his thumb over Buck's bottom lip.
He kisses the pad of his thumb too, just for good measure. Tommy exhales a soft breath as if he's giving into some unspoken temptation and he drops down completely, his weight trapping Buck against the mattress in the best possible way.
He shudders as Tommy's lips find his own, coaxing him into a deep kiss. It lasts and lasts, and Buck is breathless when they break apart. Tommy drops a line of kisses along his jaw, each more tender than the one before, and it's all he can do not to melt right then and there.
"I wish I knew you sooner too," Tommy whispers right in his ear, his words soft and laced with affection. "But I'm so glad I know you now."
Buck hums his agreement, hitching his leg high on Tommy's hip as he turns his face for another kiss. It won't be long until their exhaustion hits again, but he's content to take advantage of what time they have until then.
And, as Tommy gives into his wordless plea and kisses him, Buck knows that he wouldn't change a thing about the life that's brought him here.
He knows that this exactly where he's meant to be.
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bun-z-bakery · 2 days
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A/N: whooo finally posted everything I've written so far for this story ^^ ofc there's more I gotta post BUT we're getting somewhere!
My Angel Doesn't Need Wings (6)
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The feeling of pain courses through your body, forcing you to wake from your unsolicited slumber. You instantly realize you're not in the same area as before or even remotely close to it. It took you a few seconds to remember how you got here, once you remember, the image of that creature watching you from the shadows sends a shiver down your spine.
It brought me here
At this point, it feels like you're wandering aimlessly. Home Sweet Home wasn't exactly welcoming, and the chill in the air made you feel like you were being watched.
So many eyes were on you and this time you knew you weren't imagining it. Sighing happily you open the door, leaving home sweet home the same way you came in, you only managed to take two steps before you're tackled onto the floor and pinned down by a pink blur.
"H-hey it's me!"
Kissy Missy holds you down as you try to squirm away, she was stronger than you had thought.
"NO! NO! LET THEM GO!"
That familiar voice fills your ears, you weren't exactly too happy with her but you're glad she was there to help you.
"THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!"
Kissy Missy moves off of you and helps you stand
"You're alive?! That train situation wasn't cool. What even happened?!"
You ask as you dust yourself off and straighten out your filthy and now-tattered outfit.
"It... It's a long story"
"Well I'd like an explanation"
It was more of a demand, your guard was up once again.
“You’ve been through so much… you deserve an explanation. Come on.”
She explains what you should've been filled in on a while ago. Nothing in this place makes sense and this just made it worse, you had more questions but little time to spare. Catnap, Ollie, and the prototype were new names you've never heard before, one was a friend but the other two sounded like more trouble for you.
‧₊ ๑˚.・
The sound of a phone ringing catches your attention, hesitantly you answer
"Hey... Hey can you hear me?"
A kid?!
"H-hey kiddo, ya lost?"
You're concern for him was evident, how could a child survive down here? Especially in a place like this?
"You look kinda lost. I don't want you to die- so I'm gonna help you!"
His cheerful attitude made you smile, it made you feel something after being trapped here for who knows how long...
‧₊ ๑˚.・
Ollie was able to aid you the best he could from wherever he was. If anything he helped you get further than you would've on your own. The thought of a kid being trapped down here for who knows how long makes you shiver, it makes you wonder how he even got here or managed to survive for so long on his own.
‧₊ ๑˚.・
"Crap!" Your blood rushes as sweat runs down your face. You thought the schoolhouse would be a safe place to rest if you found an empty room, but you were far wrong.
Ms.Delight was the one who roams around the school and she was horrifying; her damaged condition made the sight of her even worse.
The clicking of heels echoing behind you is hot on your tail.
"I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!"
You chant as you bolt towards the room just ahead. As soon as you make it you notice there's a lever next to the entry you have no idea what it did but you pull it in hopes it still works.
You gasp and cover your mouth, gagging at the terrible crunching sound that fills your ears.
Ms.Delight was crushed under the heavy metal door. The disgusting sound of metal and plastic being crushed would haunt you for a long time. 
You move your trembling hand from your mouth and stand there, staring at her destroyed form. You back away hesitantly from the scene and sprint away.
At this point it felt like you were walking in some sort of endless maze, the hallway you found yourself in was odd, it was eerily quiet and the smell of blood was as strong as a freshly painted room.
Did they use these...as prisons?
You scan what you believe to be cells, slowly making your way through the halls, until a voice stops you.
"You..." The voice made you whip your head around, you weren't sure what you were expecting but it wasnt this...
"You're Poppy's angel, come to save us." His voice rasped. He was strung up by belts, he was mangled, filthy, and obviously left for dead. The state of him made your heartache.
"Nothing left to save, not here–" he was abruptly cut off by the weight of his arm hitting the floor. You cut the decaying belt with your switchblade. 
"Angel, please–" he pleaded as you cut the other belt and snapped. 
"NO!" Your response came out harsher than expected, but it caught his attention. He tries using his arms to sit up and stares at you; the despair in his eyes is as clear as day. 
 
"The amount of death and suffering I've seen here is enough to last all of us a lifetime," you begin as you crouch down to meet him.
"I've been helped this far by those who are tapped as well." 
You gently pet his matted ear.
"So now it's my job to do the same. No one gets left behind."
The dog sniffled as if he were holding back tears. 
"We have to go, now!" He pointed back at the little toys you both were familiar with.
"Hold on to me!"
"Wha–"
"Please there's no time!"
He cuts you off and you quickly hop onto his back, you two just barely escape the small critters.
You felt terrible that he had to drag part of himself on the floor but it couldn't be helped. You took note of his arms, they were trembling, but he did his best to keep moving.
"HOLD ON!"
You had no time to react, your body jerked as he took a sharp turn, it was difficult for you to properly take aim and use your flare hand to ward off the toys but somehow you managed to hit a few. The tight squeeze of the tunnels gave you flashbacks to when you first got here, you hate being in such a tight space and being chased through them.
"They're gaining on us!"
You shout as you try to shoot another flare at them.
"A jump is coming! Hold on!"
You brace yourself for the jump and your bodies bounce as you both make contact with the platform.
The landing was rough but you're glad you both made it. You two try to catch your breath and you make an attempt to stand, but suddenly you're back on the floor and entrapped in a tight embrace.
"Angel, you're amazing, you freed me, you... You saved me!"
His hug becomes tighter once you wrap your arms around him. "Angel" seems to be a nickname they gave you upon arriving. If it gave them even a sliver of hope, then you didn't mind being their "angel". The giant dog sobs onto your shoulder as you carefully pet him, gently reminding him he's safe now. 
 
"What's your name?"
He perks his ears up but remains silent for a moment.
"My name... is DogDay..." The hesitation in his voice made you question his intentions, but once you recognized him, you hug him tighter and smile into his chest.
"Nice to finally meet you, DogDay!"
As much as you hate to admit it, he was a bit terrifying compared to his animated counterpart that you grew up hearing stories of. But you put aside your fear to comfort the giant dog, you're his angel after all.
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thecaptainstevie · 6 months
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Here you go @intotheelliwoods!
Thought I was done drawing these guys for a while but no. And I definitely don't regret it! Love these lil dudes.
Dress! Saw my chance and took it :D Also two versions so there you go.
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bisaster-energy · 5 months
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(you are the truth I...)
the truth, The Front Bottoms // a tribute to castiel's truth
happy belated november 5th
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karinyosa · 1 year
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everyone talks about the ass paragraph but no one talks about the scene where finny arrives back at devon and gene like takes off his work clothes and finny just watches and comments on each layer????????????? like what the FUCK was that like actually john knowles what could possibly have been the reason what the fuck kind of intricate ritual
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heeliopheelia · 7 months
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rank the hyung line, from the best in bed to worst in bed.
OH SHIT ALRIGHT
look this is painful to me bcs i actually think all of them would be decent in bed but here we go:
BEST
jay - i just think he would be very considerate of the other person and would always put them and their pleasure over his own
heeseung - hmm i actually had to think about it for a minute bcs personally i think that he and hoon would be tied 🤷 maybe i'm a lil biased again but i have a feeling that he just KNOWS what he's doing yk what i mean?
sunghoon - also GOOD just has the tendency to be a lil selfish sometimes?? idgaf anymore guys sue me
jake - I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU BBY BOY I SWEAR!! idk yall i just think he would be the least experienced out of them all??? I DON'T THINK HE'S COMPLETELY CLUELESS THO - my boy's a fast learner 💪 axqwdjsd PLS DON'T CRUCIFY ME
WORST
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nanaslutt · 1 month
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baby making
ʚ pairing: husband nanami x reader
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ʚ cont: fem reader, established relationship, talk of pregnancy, breeding kink, dirty talk, fingering, oral (f!r), dacraphillia, rough sex, cockwarming, Nanami is whipped
ʚ note: it’s not necessary, but a little context to the plot u can find here on this smau i wrote :3
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
You placed your phone down on your bedside table and rested your head on the pillow under you, sticking your arm underneath it. You could hardly contain your excitement waiting for Nanami to get home. You were unable to resist pressing your thighs together at the thought of Nanami's pure excitement when talking about getting you knocked up. 
Starting a family was only something the two of you talked about when your relationship first started, as the two of you made sure you were on the same page before things got serious, and thankfully they were. Both you and Nanami eventually wanted to have kids. 
Your eyes darted over to your phone on the bedside table every few minutes, your heart racing as you watched the time tick by, knowing with each growing second, Nanami was on his way home to you. You squeezed your thighs tighter together and rut your hips forward, trying to bring yourself a little relief from the friction of your clit being pressed between your thighs. 
Sooner than you were expecting, you heard the familiar clicking and jingling of Nanami trying to work the door open with his keys, making you shoot up from the bed in excitement and rush out of the bedroom, running toward the front door. Nanami sighed when he finally stepped foot into the familiar environment being his own home, the scent of you filling his nostrils, making him even more antsy to see you.
As the blonde-haired man loosened his tie and started undoing the first few buttons on his shirt, you slid out from behind a wall, rushing toward him with a beaming smile on your face. Nanami's expression changed into a warmer, happier one as you quickly made your way over to him. Nanami hummed quietly as he took you into his embrace, wrapping his large arms around your body as you pressed the side of your face into his chest, inhaling his scent. 
"Someone missed me." Nanami joked, rubbing his hand over the back of your head, the other rubbing your back soothingly. "You got here so quick." You responded, pulling back a bit to look him in the eyes. Nanami moved his hands in front of him to grab your soft cheeks in his warm palms, the head from his hands radiating into your skin. "You really were needy huh?" Kento cooed, watching carefully as you leaned into his touch, your facial muscles relaxing. 
You let your eyes shut when Kento leaned forward and pressed a lasting kiss to your forehead, his soft lips tickling your skin before he pulled away, brushing his thumb over your cheek. "Let's move this conversation to the bedroom, hm?" Kento said softly, his deep voice melting away your tenseness. Nodding at him, you let Nanami take your hand in his and stroll in front of you, leading you to the bedroom. 
You started to grow antsier by the second as you grew closer to the room, knowing exactly what conversation waited for you there. Nanami placed his hands on your thigh as you sat down on the bed against the pillows, legs folded crisscross as he sat in front of you, one leg hanging off the side of the bed. 
His hand rubbing against your upper thigh should've felt soothing, but it only fueled your neediness more and more. "Why don't you tell me what you told me earlier," Nanami said, smiling at you sweetly. The scent of his cologne was filling your nose and making you dizzy, his words that put you on the spot made your heart race. You placed your smaller hand on top of his that rested on your thigh and looked into his eyes, fighting every urge that said to look away.
"I want you to get me pregnant Nanami." You said quietly, slowly stroking up his wrist and forearm before sliding back down. The small, comforting action sent shivers down his spine, his eyes following your hand's motion. "And you're sure you want this?" He asked, gripping your thigh to emphasize his words. You waited till his eyes found yours again before you gave him a small smile and nodded.
"I wanna start a family with you Ken, I think we're ready." You said, swallowing whatever saliva was left in your dry mouth. Nanami's smile grew, the tips of his ears growing red at your words. Keeping his eyes on yours, he slid his hand out from underneath yours and placed it on top of your own, caging your hand against your thigh for a moment before he gripped your wrist and started pulling it towards his body.
You held your breath, only releasing it when he finally placed your hand down on top of something hard, hot. The bulge your hand was forcefully placed on top of twitched several times under your palm, making you throb between your legs. You didn't have to look down to know what you were touching. "You know, I've been like this since you texted me at work," Nanami said calmly, his deep voice making your body tingle.
You nodded slowly in understanding, your eyebrows barely furrowing together as your arousal for him grew. Nanami started palming your hand, making you rub his bulge through his pants. The blonde-haired man released a long, low groan, his eyes falling shut as he relished in the feeling of your hand rubbing his cock through the fabric. He could feel his dick leaking pre-cum against his boxers, antsy to get out of the tight confines of his work slacks. 
"You have no idea how long I've wanted this," Nanami said, leaning forward, keeping your hand pressed against his cock. You let his body guide yours to lay down against the sheets, your legs spread around his hips, making room for him between your legs. You gasped as Nanami leaned down into the crook of your neck and pressed a kiss to the soft skin there before he groped your hand on him harder, a moan spilling from between his lips and seeping into your ear.
Kento released your hand, trusting you would keep teasing him over his pants while he reached between you and placed his hand right above your pelvis. Your thighs squeezed around his waist when he pressed down, hard, making you feel his touch from the inside. "Gonna let me put a baby in here tonight? Hm?" Kento teased, rubbing your lower tummy in circles, making gasps and small moans fall from between your lips.
"Yes," You breathlessly replied, nodding at him. Kento's eyes darted back and forth from your tummy to your lustful face as he kept rubbing you there, reminding you what would be filling you up soon. "Kento's mouth fell open into a larger O when you gripped the outline of his cock through his pants, your palm rubbing against his tip just right. 
"Oh fuck," He moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head for a moment before they found your face again. "Come here." Kento rushed forward and pressed his lips against yours, greedily swallowing your hums and moans. His hand on your tummy released the pressure and slid down your pelvis, quickly finding that most sensitive spot between your legs through your pants.
Nanami hummed against your lips as he started rubbing that spot with two large fingers, his face growing hotter and hotter after every moan that escaped your lips. You stroked Nanami over his pants the best you could, your cunt growing wetter as you felt Kento throb against your hand, his hips humping into your touch. He was rushing more than usual. 
You knew Kento had a breeding kink, he didn't even try to hide it. The man would rather die than finish anywhere but inside of you when the two of you were fucking, he said it was a waste. Always babbling on and on about how he was going to fuck you full, knock you up, and this time when he said those things, he would really mean it. It would be more than just dirty talk to work the both of you up.
Even at the beginning of your relationship when the two of you used condoms, he still came inside you with the rubber surrounding him, pretending as if his cum was filling your womb instead of the stupid condom. Your eyebrows raised and your eyes fluttered in their sockets when Kento rubbed quick, hard circles against your clit through your pants, making your strokes on his cock pause as the pleasure clouded your head.
"Yeah? Feel good?" Nanami moaned against your lips when you broke away from the kiss, breathy moans leaking from your lungs. You nodded dumbly at his words, feeling how the heat spread through your body. "I know," Nanami responded, nodding at you. The man pulled back seconds later only to slip his fingers under the hem of your pants and panties and jerk them off your body in almost one fell swoop, his urgency making you giggle.
When Nanami turned back to you after discarding your clothes on the floor, he watched as you pressed your thighs together, hiding yourself from him as you giggled, covering your mouth with one of your hands. Nanami pouted, the blush on his face deepening as he placed his hands on the tops of your knees and forced them apart, keeping his eyes on your giggling face. "What?" He asked, keeping that stoic, pouting look on his face.
"Nothing it's just-" You reached up and grabbed his face in your soft hands, making Nanami's eyes flutter at the soft touch, his head leaning into the touch. "You're just being so needy, I like it." You said, smiling at him. Nanami turned his head in your hands and placed a kiss on your palm before he leaned back, making your hands drop back down to your sides.
Nanami lowered himself on his stomach between his thighs, placing your thighs around his head. The pressure of the soft mattress against his clothed cock felt good, bringing him a little relief while he worked you open. You sucked air in through your teeth when Nanami placed a soft kiss on the inside of your thighs, his hair tickling your skin. "How can I not be?" He responded, looking up at you, his other hand mindlessly reaching for your cunt and spreading you open, all muscle memory.
"My wife told me she wants me to give her a baby, it's hard to be calm," Nanami said before he leaned in and let his eyes close as he licked a fat stripe up the expanse of your cunt. Immediately your hands reached between your thighs to card through his hair, your neck craning itself up to watch him work between your thighs. Kento's eyebrows knit at the familiar, sweet taste of you, making him hungry for more.
That single touch of his tongue on you was the sweetest he was going to be. Kento dove in after that, like a carnivore who just had its first taste of blood after starving all winter. You squeezed his head between your thighs, allowing yourself to move your hips against his face how your body needed, just like he always told you to do. "Oh fuck Ken, oh fuck-" You whined when he shook his head back and forth against your cunt while sucking your clit between his lips. 
"Mhmmm...mmmm." Nanami moaned into your cunt, acknowledging your curses and cries of his name as he fucked you with his tongue. You were unable to keep your head up any longer when Nanami's finger joined the assault on your cunt. He rubbed the tip of his finger against your entrance to warn you he was going to penetrate you before he pressed it in, his finger sliding in with barely any resistance thanks to how wet you were.
Kento got to work quickly, thrusting his finger in and out of you in time with his sucks and flicks of his tongue against your cunt. You cried out his name and gripped his hair hard between your fingers when he curled his finger straight into your g-spot, making your back arch. "Fuck- Kento right there- r-right there," You whined, your head thrashing back and forth against the pillow under your head. 
You never lasted long when Kento ate you out, he was so good with his tongue and knew each and every spot that made you lose your mind. His other hand had a firm grip on your thigh, squeezing the fat of it whenever your legs around his head squeezed too tight, restricting his mobility. "Ken I'm gonna cum- s-shit-" You felt your orgasm barrel at you quick.
Kento nodded and hummed against you before he pulled his finger out of your dripping cunt to the hilt before pressing in another finger, immediately going back to the quick pace he started before in curling and thrusting his fingers inside you, abusing your g-spot. Your body shook and writhed against the sheets, almost seeming like it was trying to escape the pleasure. 
"God-" You grit the word out through your teeth just before you came. Nanami sucked hard on your little bud, flicking it around with his tongue, drawing circles, and spelling his name. With one last movement of his tongue, the ball in your tummy unraveled and you were cumming all over Nanami's tongue. The man groaned feeling your walls squeeze around his fingers as he kept fucking you through it, bulling his fingers into your g-spot.
You cried broken moans of his name as you came, your head jerking side to side, eyes squeezed shut. Nanami's eyes were barely open but they were open as he watched your face screw into pleasure as you let go all over his tongue. Nanami pulled back from your cunt when your hands pushed him away feeling yourself start to go into overstimulation from his ruthless tongue. 
You swallowed air greedily, fighting to catch your breath from such an intense orgasm. Your cunt clenched and twitched around nothing after Nanami slid his fingers out. The man sat up and placed your shaky, weak legs over his thighs, rubbing them soothingly as you fully came down from your orgasm.
"How was that?" Kento asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before he placed his hand back on your thigh. You gave him a drunken smile, staring at his messy face and ruffled hair. "You're a mess." You smirked, reaching up to drag your hand down his chest. Kento watched your hand drag down his body and rest on his belt, your other hand joining it.
He looked back up to your face, finding your eyes already on his. The clinking of the belt echoed through the room as you worked on getting it off of him, along with unzipping his pants. Kento grabbed your hand before you could pull down his pants. The man grabbed your wrist and leaned over your body, lacing his fingers with yours as he pinned you underneath him, your hand above your head.
Kento's own hand reached down and reached into his boxers through the hole in the crotch, pulling his cock out through it, his pants still resting on his hips, just a little lower so it was more comfortable for him. You dropped your eyes to watch him jerk himself off, rubbing the pre-cum he leaked along the length of his shaft.
"I can't wait any longer, I'm sorry." Kento said, almost remorsefully. You noticed how shaky his hand was, he must really be holding back. You reached out and grabbed the first half of his cock, jerking it off with him. The man groaned at the touch, his hips jerking into your touch. "It's okay Ken, I'm ready for you." You replied, smiling genuinely at him, reassuring him you were okay. 
Kento leaned forward and connected his lips with your own, his tongue pushing past your lips and entangling with your own, as he continued stroking himself, the head of his cock poking the inside of your thigh, smearing wetness on your skin. "Ken-" You tried to speak against his lips but his kiss was too hurried and forceful, drowning out any words you had to say. 
You wrapped your one arm that wasn't pinned down around his neck, your nails scratching against his shirt, the fabric wrinkling under your grip. "Put it in k-kento put it in." You whined, forcing your head back against the soft pillow, allowing you to escape his life for enough time for him to hear your words. Kento groaned against your lips, not answering you with any real words as he directed his cock to your cunt, the fat, warm head of his cock rubbing against your cunt. 
"Mhm, mhm." You encouraged him, moaning into the kiss, nodding against him. You could feel Nanami's hot breath tickling your face as he breathed out heavily through his nose, mixing your juices together as he rubbed himself against you. Your breath halted when Nanami caught the head of his cock against the opening of your cunt. You felt the pressure of him pushing against you, slowly feeding you his cock.
Nanami's lips separated with yours and the two of you groaned in unison when his fat head penetrated your warm walls and started sliding inside. You could feel every bump and vein of his cock rubbing inside you as he slowly pushed himself in. "Shit, I got you, I got you." Nanami groaned, his head falling into the crook of your neck, his fingers entangling with yours tighter above your head. 
His breath was shaky against your neck, choked moans and breaths of air escaped him as he fought to not thrust the entirety of his cock inside you and mess you up already, you needed to adjust first. You opened your legs further around him, giving him some room as he pushed himself deeper inside. "You're so soft inside after you cum." Kento groaned into your ear.
You squeezed your eyes shut and grit your teeth as Kento fully thrust himself inside you, his balls pressing flush against your ass, his chest pressed to yours. He was letting a little bit of his body weight rest on top of you, and it felt so nice, grounding. "God-" You moaned in response to his words, your cunt tightening around him, making him release another choked groan.
Nanami leaned back and released your fingers with him, placing your legs over his shoulders before he leaned over you again, your body now folded in a mating press. "H-hah- you feel so deep like this," You whined, your voice high-pitched and whiny. You wrapped both arms around his shoulders and pulled him close, not wanting to lose the pressure of his body against yours.
Nanami slipped a hand between your bodies and found your clit with his fingers with expert precision. He began rubbing the bud in circles slowly, making your pussy squeeze around him in response, a feeling that went straight to his balls. "You should try b-being in my position, I feel like I'm in your stomach," Nanami responded, rolling his hips in circles against you, trying to stretch you open like that.
Moans and whines were pulled from your lips as each rotation he made with his hips pressed his cock against your sweet spot. The combination of his finger rubbing your clit and his cock gyrating inside you made your eyes roll back in your head. "Good, need y-you to be deep so it takes." You replied, your words needy and breathless, which you whined straight into his ear. You felt Kento's cock jump inside you before you felt his head fall limply into the crook of your neck, undoubtedly from his body going weak with pleasure.
"Please, please let me move." He begged, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. You turned your head towards him and kissed his forehead, your hands rubbing his back. "Move Ken, fuck me, fuck a baby into me." You whispered into his ear. The blonde man wasted no time in pulling his cock out of you almost entirely before he slammed it back inside, starting up a brutal pace inside you.
Moan after moan was being forced from your lips as Kento's cock bullied right against your g-spot. You felt tears well up in your eyes immediately, just a few thrusts and he was already fucking you dumb. "You feel so good, so fucking warm." Kento babbled, his eyes pressed firmly shut, his lips pressed to your neck, occasionally pressing kisses and sucking hickeys into the skin when he wasn't spewing filth and groaning with an open mouth.
"I love you- I love you." Kento moaned, his hand gripping the underside of your thigh stronger, keeping you folded in place for him as he pulled his head up from the crook of your neck to find your fucked out face. Tears had started streaming down your cheeks, your eyebrows were knit together in pleasure and your eyes fought to stay open with each thrust. Nanami placed his forehead against yours, your skin rubbing against his with each strong thrust of his hips against yours. 
"L-Love you Kento, I love you so much-" You replied, feeling yourself squeeze around him at your own words. You felt his soft lips press against your forehead softly, gently, a stark contrast from his rough hips beating your pussy up before he leaned back and held the underside of your thighs down as far as they could go, the backs of your thighs touching your body.
Kento's balls slapping against your ass were creating a loud, lewd, squelching sound that made you feel dizzy. You looked down at where your bodies were connected and watched his cock drag in and out of your cunt, a thick white ring of cum forming at the base of his cock from how wet you were. You could only watch for a few seconds before your head tipped back agaisnt the pillows, your eyes screwed shut as wonton moans left your lips. "You're taking me so well, doing so good honey." Nanami praised, shaking his head at you in awe as more and more tears spilled down your cheeks. 
Nanami released you from the intense position right when your thighs started to burn, your legs falling limply over his thighs as his body was back on yours again. You were brought back down to earth when you felt Nanami's warm hand caress your cheek, his thumb wiping away the stream of tears that had spilled. Although his effort was futile as more spilled down anyway, the gesture made your heart swell.
Kento's lips found yours again, his hand sliding between your bodies again to find your clit and rub it soothingly in little circles, making the knot in your tummy tie tighter. Kento's groans and moans were much more frequent now, louder too. He wasn't one to hold back in bed, but he also wasn't super loud in terms of the volume of his moans. Tonight was different, however. He couldn't stop picturing you knocked up, your tummy round with his child after the events that were happening right in front of him. It was driving him crazy. 
Nanami's lips disconnected with yours unexpectedly with a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper, as his head found its home in the crook of your neck once more. His hips were losing their pace, and his finger rubbing against your clit was more erratic now too as he grew close to his orgasm. "H-hahh." He moaned, his teeth sinking into the spot where your neck and shoulder connect before he released, replacing the bite with kisses.
"Kento, y-you close?" You asked, your voice shaky and broken. You already knew his answer, but you knew how much he loved when you talked during sex. "F-fuck, yes. I'm not going to last much longer." He whined, trying to bury his face deeper in the crook of your neck. The feeling of him rubbing his face against your skin, trying to hide, trying to find comfort- it made you fall in love all over again. Just that little gesture showed how much he loved you, how safe he felt with you.
"Cum inside me Kento, get me pregnant, w-wanna make you a daddy." Nanami was sure his brain had short-circulated at that moment. He had no particular kink for that word, it was just the reality of the situation had hit him when you called him that. He was going to be a father, the father of your children. "Y-you drive me crazy, you know that?" He moaned, fighting back a whine when his cockhead rubbed against a particularly soft spot inside you.
Nanami kept aiming for that spot, noticing how tight you got when he did. "I-I'm gonna fill you up, fuck a baby into you, make us parents." He groaned in return, kissing your neck wherever his lips could reach. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the attention, he was touching all of your sweet spots inside and out, you weren't going to last much longer either.
"God p-please Kento, cum with me please." You cried, pulling his body closer to yours, using whatever strength you had left in your legs to squeeze around him. Nanami's thrusting grew more erratic, his pace got faster, sloppier, as loud groans and whines spilled from his lips before his hips stilled against yours.
Both of your jaws fell open as you came together. Nanami's hot cum flooding inside the deepest part of your cunt was just the push you needed to fall over the edge. Kento's hips stuttered and rolled into yours as he pressed himself balls deep, making sure his cum would get into your womb. His finger slowed against your sensitive, throbbing clit, which was starting to hurt from all the attention. 
The two of you gasped and whined against the other, holding onto each other for dear life as you rode the aftershocks of your orgasm out together. Nanami didn't stop moving his hips until he was sure he had fucked each and every last drop of his cum inside you, even fucking himself into overstimulation as long as it meant he was sure he got you pregnant. 
"Fuck... I'm so full." You whispered, sliding your hand between your bodies to press on your stomach. Nanami groaned through his teeth, the moan getting cut off halfway as he felt the pressure of your hand against his dick. Kento gripped your wrist when he felt his cum move around him, flooding towards the base of his dick. "Don't," He said quietly, his voice hoarse and breathy. "You're going to push my cum out. Need to keep you full." Kento said, almost cutely.
You smiled and placed your hands on his cheeks, making him pick up his head from the crook of your neck. "Ken, you came inside me enough to make 400 kids, I'm sure one of the swimmers will stick." You joked, but Nanami's face was stone serious, he wasn't going to take any chances. His lack of reaction only made you smile harder. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his nose, a lasting kiss, one that transferred all the love you felt for him.
"Maybe if we're lucky we'll get twins," Kento said, the tips of his ears turning red at the thought. You shook your head and smiled, kissing him again, on the lips this time. "Someone's ambitious." You replied. "I wouldn't be surprised though. Seriously, you came so much. I don't think I've ever felt this full before." Nanami's face turned a deep crimson at your words, his eyes averting from yours. "What? Feeling shy now? After all that?" You giggled, watching how his eyes fell shut when you rubbed his cheek. He was like a cat.
"Are you alright?" Kento asked, ignoring your teasing. You nodded, wrapping your legs around his hips. "I feel perfect." You replied, smiling honestly at him. Kento sighed before resting his head on your chest. He practically purred when your hands started raking through his hair, scratching down the nape of his neck, and under the collar of his shirt, teasing his shoulders. 
"You should get those pants dry-cleaned." You said, not even wanting to look at the damage your sopping cunt did to them. Nanami made a noise of acknowledgment as his body relaxed against yours, his cock now fully soft inside you. "We should clean up sleepy head, need to change these sheets." You said, trying to act responsibly even though you too felt the tiredness creeping over your body. 
"Not yet, need to keep you plugged up. Let's just fall asleep like this." Kento suggested, snuggling against your chest, his hair tickling your chin. You rolled your eyes and shook your head as you stared at the ceiling. Who knew a man of Kento's age could be so childish? "I'm setting a timer for an hour, I wanna take a bath with you." You replied, raking your hands across his scalp. Nanami made a semi-coherent noise of acknowledgment, even though you know he didn't hear you.
You tried to reach over to the side table to grab your phone but Nanami's heavy body on top of yours kept you from getting very far. Sighing in defeat, you placed your hand back in Kento's slightly damp hair and began running your hands through it again, making the man hum in pleasure. You decided if he wasn't worried about it, you weren't going to be either. You were exhausted, after all, a little sleep after such a workout couldn't hurt.
When Kento felt you fully relax under him, submitting to his idea to just relax with one another, you heard his deep voice rumble your chest ever so faintly as he spoke, "You're going to be an amazing mother."
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incognit0slut · 3 days
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Ok two words:
shower sex…multiple 🤭
(that’s more than two words but you get the point)
(18+) fem reader. 1.6 k. Fingering. Shower sex.
Your idea of showering together to save time doesn’t work out as you planned.
-
"What are you doing?" Spencer shrieked as you joined him in the shower out of nowhere. He was enjoying his moment of peace when you suddenly barged in, completely naked.
"This is your fault!" You snapped, letting the water wash over you, facing away from him. "You should've woken me up."
He sighed. "I did try, you didn't even move."
"Well, you should've tried harder," you shot back.
Spencer took a step back, his gaze fixed on the tiled wall. Despite the crazy, kinky sex you had in the bedroom, he couldn't shake the discomfort of showering together. For him, it was a private time for self-cleaning, and the thought of you watching him wash away all the dirt off his body made him feel oddly self-conscious.
You always told him that he didn't need to feel that way, that you were his partner, and you've already seen each other at your worst. Though he was still persistent and there was nothing you could do but to respect his boundaries.
But now, as he stole a glance at you, he realized he had been too preoccupied with his discomfort and insecurity to even consider how you would look under the flow of water.
Or how much it affected him.
Because it was affecting him so, so much. He could feel a wave of heat surging through him to his lower body. The water flowed effortlessly over your curves as you began to lather soap onto your skin, and unable to resist any longer, he moved closer, his hand naturally finding its way down your back.
"You missed a spot," he breathed out, his voice lower than he intended. You turned to him with a smile, unaware of the effect you had on him.
"Thanks, baby," you replied, the innocence in your tone contrasting with the sudden tension in the air. His breath hitched as he unconsciously licked his lips, his hands exploring your slippery skin with a sense of urgency. His palm traced the curve of your waist before boldly circling around to your front.
You froze, your heart pounding in your chest as his hand came dangerously close to the lower curve of your breasts.
"...Spence?"
Without a word, his palms brushed over your breasts, cupping them with a mixture of firmness and tenderness that sent a shiver down your spine. Your body responded involuntarily, your nipples hardening under his touch, leaving you speechless.
You had always respected his boundaries, never wanting to invade his personal space in the bathroom. But this morning was different; you had overslept, and in your rush, you assumed he wouldn't mind if you barged in, even if it meant facing away from him to give him some privacy.
Although having his hands explore your body was the last thing you expected, and when you felt him inching closer, his arousal pressing against your back, you swiftly turned around.
"Nope. Nuh-uh," you said firmly, attempting to give him your best glare, but his semi-hard cock was undeniably distracting. "This is not the time."
His fingers continued to trace your wet stomach, causing you to shiver at his touch. "Why not?"
"B-Because," you stammered, your breath catching as his fingers edged closer between your thighs. "I'm already late."
"Exactly," he countered. "You're already late anyway."
The water fell around your body, washing away the suds as his fingertips slipped between your folds, and despite the water, he could feel the slickness of your arousal coating his skin.
You gasped at the sudden contact, feeling a surge of pleasure shoot through you. Your eyes fluttered shut as he dipped just the tip of his middle finger inside your warmth, savoring the wetness that coated his finger before tracing a path up to your clit. A breathy moan escaped your lips.
"I-I thought you don't like showering together," you managed to say.
His lips curved into a smile. "I'm beginning to see the appeal."
Your body slumped against the wall as he applied more pressure to your clit, pleasuring you with slow, deliberate circles. "Baby..." you breathed out, your mind clouded with desire even as you tried to focus on the time. "I'm late for work."
"I know," He murmured. "That's why I'm helping you clean up."
"I-I really need to get to work."
"And you will," he assured you. "But I need you to spread your legs first. Got to clean all the spots."
You hesitated for a moment, but with a shaky exhale, you finally complied, parting your legs as he requested, giving him access to every inch of your skin. Your head fell back against the wall, a soft moan escaping your lips as you struggled to maintain your composure when his finger slipped into your heat.
Your hand instinctively reached out, gripping around his wrist as he began to pump his digit inside your dripping walls. A gasp escaped your lips at the sensation of him filling you, and he couldn't help but let out a low groan of pleasure at how tight you were clenching around him.
"Oh god," you moaned, feeling him quickening his pace. The sound of your wetness mingling with the rushing water enveloped you both, drowning out any thoughts of being late for work. All that mattered was the sensation of his hand between your thighs, driving you closer to the edge.
Then, to your disappointment, he suddenly pulled back and you whimpered at the loss, but before you could protest, he pulled your thigh up to rest on his hip before gripping himself in his hand. You bit your bottom lip, your body trembling with desire as he pumped a few times, while he positioned himself at your soaked entrance. 
Every nerve in your body hummed with anticipation as the tip of him slipped inside your warmth. His lips met yours in a passionate kiss as he began easing himself further in, inch by inch, and you couldn't suppress the moan against his mouth upon feeling him stretching you.
He sank himself all the way inside your heat, giving you a moment to adjust as he ran his tongue over your bottom lip, coaxing a soft sigh from you before slipping inside to caress yours. Then you felt his hips begin to move with light, sensual motions, with one hand gripping your thigh firmly, as the other held your body against the wall by your hip.
“Tell me how that feels,” he encouraged you, nipping at your lips between words and taking his time with his pace, and suddenly you didn’t care you were supposed to be in a rush. 
“So... so good,” you whimpered breathlessly, feeling him slowly draw his hips away, only to glide back in even slower. He repeated the motion as if he wanted to etch into his memory the way your walls tightened around him with every thrust, as if he wanted to keep in his mind forever the way your lips parted as moans filled his ears.
You held onto his shoulder, your nails digging into his skin and he could sense your desperation as he quickened his pace. His hand then slipped between your thighs, his thumb finding your clit before rubbing gentle circles around it.
You let out a filthy cry.
He pumped into you even harder, the rhythm of his thrusts becoming more frantic as he lost himself in the escalating pleasure all the while his thumb worked your sensitive nub even faster, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body. The sensations overwhelmed you, and your legs began to shake with the sheer intensity of it all.
"Yes—fuck," you moaned, your voice a desperate plea for more. 
"You feel so good," he groaned out the words, his mouth inches away from yours, his breath hot against your skin as his hips continued to move in perfect rhythm with yours. "God, I love you."
Just as you were about to reply, the overwhelming pleasure consumed you as your jaw slackened, unable to form words as pleasure coursed through your veins, causing your legs to twitch uncontrollably. You whined, lost as the sensation consumed you, but soon, it became too much to bear and you tiredly pushed his hand away.
Watching you come undone around him was just enough to push him over the edge. He held your body close, still thrusting into you, the rhythm of his movements matching the frantic beat of his heart. With a final, exhilarating surge, he tilted his head back in pure bliss, his body trembling as he surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure of release.
He exhaled a sigh of relief as his heartbeat gradually subsided, finally pulling out of you to leave you feeling empty, shaking, and still holding onto him for support. The water had grown cold, beating against your skin and causing you to shiver against his chest. Sensing your discomfort, he turned the faucet, shutting off the shower.
"You okay?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with concern as he looked at you, making sure you didn’t slip against the slick tiles.
You nodded your head, offering him a small, reassuring smile. "Yeah," you assured him, placing your leg back on the ground. "You're a bad influence, you know that?"
He chuckled, the sound echoing in the now quiet bathroom. "I'll take that as a compliment," he replied as he reached out to wrap his arms around you, pulling you close against his chest.
You nestled into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours. "It's not," you countered, looking up at him. "I'm too late now, I think I have to call in sick."
He tilted his head and held your gaze. "What if I call in sick too?"
A smile tugged at your lips as you considered his suggestion. "That could work," you said, the idea of spending the day together sounding more appealing by the second. You pulled him in for a kiss. "That could definitely work."
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Human Shield - F1 Grid
Request from @kissjde - omg that one vid of the girl using carlos as a shield kinda for when they were spraying champagne🫠 can u like somehow make a fic of that??
I think you wanted a Carlos fic, but I kind of have an idea for an F1 grid fic that I think would be perfect for this. So...sorry if you hate it 🥴
Red Bull driver!reader
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Y/n swallows as she gets into the Red Bull cockpit.
She's been in the car for testing but in Bahrain but they'd altered things for the first race weekend based on data and feedback thanks to testing.
Taking it out on the track for a proper race weekend is scary.
Helmut took a risk with y/n. He insisted she could handle the mature team after test driving some FP1 sessions last season. But now it's the real thing.
Now she's in the Red Bull and going out on track to really prove herself.
"You got this, love." Her mechanic, Eric smiles patting the top of her helmet before helping strap her in. "Remember, just have fun. You're here living the dream."
"You think?" She jokes but the nerves spiking in her voice just earns her a sympathetic look.
Suddenly when she is face with another helmet leaning into her cockpit.
Max has been weirdly protective over y/n, she's faced a lot of backlash almost similar to his. But hers is very much gender targeted just as much as a question of her experience. But he's been incredibly protective and he always tries to make sure that she's not letting her nerves get the better of her.
"I wanted to come say. I want to see you smiling out there and I'll be able to tell." Max states patting her bicep which makes her smile and nod at him.
Max pats her helmet before heading over this own car.
"Radio check, bubs." Her race engineer, Rocky (yes, THE Rocky) states into her radio. Using a nickname he'd given her since she'd came into the Red Bull juniors programme.
He was in charge of mentoring and guiding a lot of juniors and with the promotion of her into F1 and directly into the Red Bull team. They wanted her to have someone she was familiar with on her radio just to at least give her that comfort and Rocky knows how she works better than anyone else.
"Radio check, loud and clear." Y/n replies swallowing to herself.
When she gets out on track she's acutely aware that cameras are very much keeping an eye on her.
"We're just getting a feel of the track, trying out engine set ups remember. No pressure you just trust your feel." Rocky states into her ears as she gets out the pit line.
"And there is y/n y/l/n." Crofty states as the cameras very much do immediately change to watch her. "The world watched her closely in testing. She didn't make any mistakes that we didn't at least see from Max. Now she's out on track."
"She is. I'm quite looking forward to seeing y/n show us what she's capable of. Of course, Red Bull has been quite...kind to her with bringing her in. They've brought in Rocky who worked with Seb but had moved to work more with the junior Red Bull drivers. He's on her radio, they've been very defensive of anyone who has tried to declare her unfit for the seat." Martin explains then sighing. "Now we just need to see what y/n's got and she's got to just put it out on the track."
FP1 ends with her in getting the 4th fastest time. But FP1 doesn't equate to a whole weekend of top 5 performances.
"Hey, bubs." Rocky smiles as she climbs out the car and walks up to him. "Ready for data?"
"Ready." Y/n nods with a small smile.
-
Y/n actually feels comfortable getting into the car for FP2.
Which is where she makes her first error. Because she should've known being confident in the car would lead to disaster.
There's almost some racing going on and that's when she becomes a victim as she tries to keep out the way of approaching cars. George and Lewis are apparently racing? (idc if people hate me I love making George and Lewis enemies, they basically are irl 🤣)
George gives Lewis a puncture and he smashes into the side of y/n. Actually it hurts more than she was expected when people had warned her of the pain of a crash. His car t-boning her ends up pushing her into the wall too. It's only good she wasn't going fast and he'd somewhat slowed down.
"Y/n? Are you ok?" Rocky's voices asks on the radio.
"Yeah, fuck! What the fuck were they doing?" Y/n questions then sighing.
"Car is safe. P0 then you can get out when you're ready." Rocky sighs making her huff before she quickly detached and unplugs everything, climbing out the car and putting the steering wheel back before walking around to look at the damage.
Her whole engine is exposed and the sided is destroyed.
Fantastic.
George and Lewis seem to be bickering and in her own rage she jumps the wall to safety only briefly exchanging words with the marshalls before climbing on the closest moped and getting back to the paddock.
"That is not a happy woman. George and Lewis don't seem very happy but I can imagine Red Bull are speaking to race control about their actions. Very very silly to be racing each other like that and causing a crash with another team as a victim to it." Martin comments shaking his head.
"Do you think a penalty will be coming their way."
"Red Bull will certainly fight for it. That's their rookie and she sounded very upset. I'm sure Lewis and George will be called to the stewards."
"I think apologies will be owed."
Y/n gets herself weighed but her anger has the better of her and her trainer, Wyatt decides to get her to her drivers room to cool off before there's a debrief.
"It's not your fault." Wyatt states while she tries not to cry.
She hates when she cries because she's angry. But it happens.
"Hey. Come on. It is not your fault, you got out the way and got t-boned by two teammates being idiots." Wyatt sighs moving to hug her.
"It's a joke." Y/n sniffles then sighing. "I should go speak to the rest of the team."
"Ok. Let's go."
Y/n gets to the garage, half an hour still left as she walks across to the pit wall.
"Hey, you ok?" Rocky asks making her tick her jaw to restrain ranting about it. "It's fine. We'll get the car fix and we'll make sure you're nowhere near them tomorrow at any point."
"It's still not great is it?" Y/n huffs shaking her head.
"They're being spoken to by the stewards and it looks like Toto will be having words." Rocky reassures her while she sighs and nods a little.
-
FP3 is clean and qualifying sees y/n take P5.
"You did it." Max smiles picking her up in a hug as they all walk towards media.
"Yeah, rookie of the year in the bag already." Lando comments making her smile at him. "No Mercedes smashing into you. Did it not hurt? Lewis really t-boned you."
"Yeah, but I think I was too annoyed to actually car...they were acting like dicks. I'm glad they got penalised for it." Y/n sighs still not exactly having forgiven the Brits in their interterm idiocy towards each other.
The three divide, each with a comms team member who leads them to their given interviews.
"Y/n, a much cleaner Saturday than Friday." The interviewer states as y/n stands in the media pit. "How are you feeling? Especially after quite a nasty hit."
"Significantly better day. I feel fine, maybe some very little aches but nothing major." Y/n smiles with a nod. "P5 not bad for a first qualifying. And I only plan to move up from there for the rest of the races."
"I love the optimism and confidence. I know I speak for so many people that we are rooting for you."
"Thank you." Y/n laughs then moving forward and hugging the interviewer. "Really, thank you."
-
The driver's parade saw all oft he drivers surrounding y/n like she's just the most popular person. Pulling her away for an interview with Laura actually saw Max have to be forced to stop hugging her with Lando and Carlos pulling her teammates arms from around her.
That quickly created rumours online of them dating.
But Max is definitely more like a friend who almost acts like a brother.
"You got this. We believe in you." Carlos states as she grins at him, blowing him and Lando a kiss as they walk to their cars after the anthem.
Y/n gets her helmet and hans device on while Wyatt smiles at her looking like he's beaming with pride, just seeing her go into her first race.
"Alright, feel good?" Wyatt asks making her nod. "Go on then, time to go show the world they're fucking morons."
"I will." Y/n grins fist bumping him before she moves climbing into the cockpit.
They get her strapped in and suddenly she's on her own.
"Radio check bubs." Rocky calls into her ears.
"Radio check." Y/n calls back before he tells her all the tyre choices of the other drivers.
"Formation lap. Then let's go racing."
"Thank you, Rocky."
The formation lap feels as if it goes in the blink of an eye and she's back on the grid, waiting for everyone to finish getting into their grid slots.
"Everyone on grid." Rocky states making her get the ready, watching the lights.
Lights out and while she tries not to dwell on it, her start was as good as she felt it could've been. Now she just needs to stay out of trouble.
Primarily away from anyone who wants to use their teammate as a means of smashing into her.
Driving around Bahrain and pushing, listening to every single thing Rocky says and making sure she speaks back. She doesn't want to know who is in front or who is behind unless they're a threat or an opportunity.
"Y/n is...storming. You'd really think she may be using some of that residue upset from Friday in today. She definitely wasn't afraid to tell people that she was unhappy with both Mercedes drivers and felt their penalties were deserved. Lewis even said she'd unapologetically told him and George both that she wasn't impressed and they had grovelling to do." Martin states making Crofty chuckle.
"I think they might be wise to grovel. She seems like someone you'd want to stay on the good side of." Crofty admits while Martin hums in agreement.
The race continues, and she keeps going not even thinking as she does everything she can to just...make progress. Clean pitstops help and she's just relieved that they have done what they needed to do.
"Last lap, bubs. You got this. Push and go for fast lap if you want, no risk." Rocky states and actually she's surprised to hear they're in the last lap. Has it really been that long?
She's sort of had tunnel vision, her mind had number out the idea of anything else but the track in front or behind her.
Y/n gets herself around the track pushing as hard as possible.
"P3! P3! Fastest lap. Driver of the day and a podium!" Rocky exclaims as she hears cheers in the background with her name being chanted.
"Holy shit. Holy shit. Fucking hell." Y/n exclaims laughing as she waves out the cockpit. "This is insane. Holy fuck. Max P1?"
"Max P1. Carlos P2. Behind you, Charles and Lando then Oscar."
"Oh my fuck-fuck! Rocky!"
"You just get back here bubs. I'll be waiting for you."
Y/n actually maybes goes a bit fast for her in lap. But when she pulls up knocking the P3 sigh. Max and Carlos are always there. She doesn't even properly get out before Max has rushes to her tosses her around in a hug before she is placed down, running to the team who are admittedly more excited for her than they were to see Max take the win.
"Now that is a beautiful sight. The celebrations of a drivers first podium, her first ever race a rookie. I think we've got a lot more to see from y/n and actually I'd say Max may need to worry that y/n's about to threat to him. It might be early to say this, but y/n might be his first teammate since Daniel who may pose a real challenge." Crofty states over the broadcast while they watch y/n get weighed, finally released from the clutches of her team.
Though almost every other driver appears moving to want to congratulate her.
"Good for both of them and he seems to love y/n already. They have really got a bond that we see between the best of teammates." Martin states since Max has had some great teammates but y/n could be the best of them.
Y/n and the boys get up tot he cool down room where Carlos also picks her up hugging her tightly and spinning her around.
"You are amazing, y/n." Carlos grins then placing her down. "We will give you the best podium."
Y/n laughs as Max begins yapping about some of the footage which is being shown.
Eventually they're out on the podium, y/n first, then Carlos and then Max.
Trophies are present and Max gets his medal and that's when it dawns on y/n that Max seems to be about to dump his whole bottle on her.
"No!" Y/n laughs only just managing to not drop her bottle as she tries to run around Max and use Carlos as a human shield which almost works.
If Carlos didn't tip his entire bottle over his head behind him to perfectly pour onto her.
"Ahhh, no! Carlos, you traitor." Y/n squeals jumping back leaving her in the line of fire from Max who showers her in champagne.
"Enjoy it!" Max exclaims making her grin but she returns the gesture as Carlos sprays the champagne onto Max then turns finishing spraying what little is left onto y/n as she showers him too.
"Alright. Alright. We need to get off." Y/n laughs moving to the podium and picking up her trophy as she poses with the boys. "God, I think you've blinded me. My eyes sting."
-
"We watched y/n take a rookie, maiden podium and Red Bull have not stopped their cheering. After the podium and debrief, they did their team photo. Of course and she tried to use Max as a human shield to not be soaked to the skin in Red Bull. That failed in the same way that her podium shielding using Carlos failed. I think last time I saw her, she was trudging very carefully through the paddock looking quite sticky." Ted chuckles as he does his notebook post-race.
"You talking about me?" Y/n exclaims with a smile, appearing cleaned thanks to a quick shower in her drivers room.
Max is walking alongside her with Wyatt and Rupert walking with both the drivers.
"I am. Any very quick comments?" Ted smiles as she nears him.
"Uhh...Red Bull is very hard to wash out your hair. I don't recommend having it poured over your head in gallons." Y/n laughs then fist-bumping Ted. "You have a good night, Ted."
"You have a very good night. I know there's whispers of celebrations for both of you. Enjoy that guys."
"We will!"
Max laughs shaking his head at his teammate who grins walking alongside him.
"Next podium, I am terrorising you with champagne by the way and since you didn't protect me. I'm tackling you when the Red Bull comes out to be sprayed everywhere."
"You shouldn't have told me. I'll just use you as the human shield." Max grins while she nudges him and shakes her head.
Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03 @harrysdimple05 @mellowarcadefun @cixrosie @scopeiguess @racingheartsposts @c-losur3
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yawnderu · 5 months
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Lorelei — Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader | Part I
1 2 3 4 5
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
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''So you're just goin' to sit there and tell me that isn't my daughter.'' Simon says bluntly, tone even yet carrying a snark hidden that you came to listen so many times after working with him— never once directed at you until now.
''It's really none of your business, Ghost.'' You don't even spare a glance at him, simply looking at your little girl, fingers gently running through her short hair. She looks exactly like Simon, though that will never take away your love for her.
''You're not denyin' it.'' He hesitantly sits down next to you, secretly afraid you'll bite his head off. The glare you shoot his way is enough confirmation that you would if you could. You sigh softly, the air leaving your lungs before being sucked back in, not wanting to argue in front of your little girl despite her not understanding words yet.
''Well, what's it to you? Why do you need to know?'' I can't handle you leaving me again.
''Don't be like that.'' His tone is soft, almost pleading. It has been over a year since he broke up with you, yet that doesn't make the loss any easier, not now that he knows he has a daughter, no matter how much you tried to hide it from him.
''Why didn't you tell me?'' He asks gently, feeling like he's walking on eggshells. It's the first time ever he feels that way with you, and he doesn't blame you in the slightest. It takes a few seconds of you thinking before you answer.
''I was terrified of you choosing to walk away from her... to be a deadbeat. I didn't want to have that image of you, because that would have hurt more than the break up.'' Your voice is more calm, though for all the wrong reasons. The familiar tingling all over your nose is back, eyes stinging as you try to hold back tears, too prideful to cry in front of him again.
''That's what you think o' me?'' He replies in nothing but pure disbelief and slight disgust. He would never walk away from his child, no matter how much that would destroy all the walls he has been building for years, stones upon stones carefully piled on top of each other, so strong nothing could ever break through— until you came along.
''I was fucking scared, okay?'' You look away and wipe your eyes with one hand, the other one carefully supporting the neck of the baby on your lap. Simon sighs, his bare hand hesitantly reaching down to trace the features of the tiny girl, being careful with her as if she would break if he applied any pressure. He notices your eyes glued to his hand, eyebrows furrowed. He's about to move his hand away until you adjust the little girl so he can touch her face without the awkward angle.
''Give me one more chance. Please— please, let me be a father to her.'' Simon never begged for anything, not even when he was tortured for months to no end, drugged, beaten like a dog, yet here he is; begging his ex for a chance to keep the girl in his life. You don't reply.
''I'll do everything I can. What I should've done. I want to be here, please.'' He was so damn ready to get on his knees and beg if that's what it took for you to let him be involved in her life. He's not asking you to be together— he knows he doesn't deserve that chance.
''She's looking at you like she knows you.'' Your response is ominous to say the least. You want to deny him, to tell him he doesn't even deserve to be able to touch the little girl you birthed alone, that he doesn't deserve the chance at a family after he destroyed 4 years of a relationship because of the very same thing, but... your little girl is looking up at him with pure admiration and curiosity in her big brown eyes, her tiny hand struggling to hold one of his fingers. Growing up with a single parent yourself, you know she deserves better, and you're willing to put your pride and pain aside to make sure she gets the world.
''Okay.'' You reply after taking a deep breath, holding it into your lungs for what feels like forever, choosing to ignore the strong arms wrapping around you, bringing all three of you close. It feels... right.
[NEXT]
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taylorman2274 · 3 months
Text
We Care About You
For the past couple of days, you've been sacrificing sleep to spend more time playing Genshin. The people of Teyvat take notice and do not approve.
Content Warning(s): Liyue Archon Quest Spoilers
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader; First Story; Inexperienced Writer
Word Count: 1.5k
Previous || Next
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You honestly should've seen it coming.
There were too many hints that told you what was about to happen, but you either didn't notice them or ignored them entirely.
Now you're about to fall into unconsciousness against your will, all because someone within Teyvat cared about your well-being.
"How is this even possible?" you pondered before you finally fell into sweet unconsciousness.
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The first hint happened so quick you almost missed it.
You were a couple of minutes removed from logging into the game and had just started working on your second of four daily commissions.
As you were teleporting to Dadaupa Gorge to help Wyatt look for his key, you noticed an unusual message on the loading screen.
Sleep
When night falls, make sure that you get plenty of rest!
You were lucky that you were a fast reader or else you wouldn't have been able to read that message in time.
At first, you didn't know what to think of it. Sure, Hoyoverse could've easily added it into the game, but you didn't see them ever doing such a thing. Additionally, you've never seen anyone else experience this message before.
"Probably something new," you guessed before gliding on down to speak with Wyatt.
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The second hint was a bit more noticeable than the first.
After completing Wyatt's commission, you were on your way to Falcon Coast to defeat some hilichurls. It was approaching nighttime in Teyvat when Paimon suddenly said:
"It's getting pretty late. Paimon thinks that we should go to bed soon."
You stopped gliding forward for a brief moment in slight surprise. It only took a few seconds for you to snap back to reality before pausing the game to save what airtime you had left.
"I can see a new line of text being possible, but a new voice line?" you contemplated. Like the last hint, you really didn't know what to think of it. If it was only one new voice line that got added into the game, you guess you shouldn't see that as a big surprise.
"Today has certainly been weird," you added before unpausing the game.
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It wasn't until the third hint that you started to think that something was wrong.
After defeating the two waves of hilichurls, your last commission had you beat up some cryo slimes near the Dawn Winery. You teleported to the Anemo Archon statue, grabbed a couple of Windwheel Asters, and began to glide down to the water.
However, just as you were about to pass the Dawn Winery, you began to hear a sweet melody coming from the building. This wasn't the theme you were used to hearing when you were near the Dawn Winery, so being the curious person you were, you took a quick detour to the building.
As you approached the building, the melody began increasing in volume. Furthermore, as you moved your camera you noticed the sound gradually shifting volume in-between your right and left ears.
"Wait, this isn't just a soundtrack? Someone's actually playing this?" you questioned, speaking aloud for the first time. You rarely speak your thoughts aloud, finding such an action to be awkward, but you felt that the situation warranted such a reaction out of you.
After a bit of wandering and camera movement, you pinpointed the source of the sound coming from the roof. Starting from the front of the building, you climbed up the wall and onto the balcony. You moved the camera around, trying to see if you could get a better view of the roof, and after a while, you found the source of the melody.
Venti the bard was currently straddling the roof beam with his back against the spire right near where the Anemoculus used to be. He had his eyes closed as he was playing the soothing melody on his lyre. If he noticed you, he took no note of it as he continued to play.
"Okay, now things are getting weird," you began to monologue to yourself. "I can somewhat explain a new loading screen message and a new voice line, but a new audio played by a character who is never supposed to be seen outside of archon quests and events? A change as big as this would've surely been advertised by Hoyoverse on social media, right? So why does it feel like I'm the first person to have discovered this? Do I consider this to be a bug or a glitch?"
However, as you continued to think to yourself, Venti continued to play his melody. As the melody dragged on and on, you began to yawn and feel your eyes growing heavy.
"Hold on. Is this melody...making me sleepy?”
Music notes began to fade in and out as they floated from Venti's lyre to your player character.
"I can't fall asleep just yet! I still need to finish my commissions!" you proclaimed before leaping off the balcony and continuing your way down to the beach. "Ooh! I also may need to travel to some domains and farm for materials."
You missed the fourth hint while you jogged away from the winery. Had you looked back at Venti, you would have noticed that he stopped playing the melody before sighing with a slight frown on his face.
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After completing all of your dailies, you decided to take a change of scenery and meet up with Liyue Katherine.
"I still need to go to Wanmin Restaurant and trigger that Beetle event. Plus, the crafting table is just around the corner for me to craft some Condensed Resin!"
You were too distracted by the crafting table to notice the fifth hint of the day. Had you kept your eye at Third-Round Knockout, you would've noticed the former Geo Archon getting up from his table and walking over to you.
Having finished crafting your Condensed Resin, you began to head over to Wanmin Restaurant. But before you could...
"Traveler! A quick moment of your time, please."
Startled by the sudden attention, you flicked your camera behind you to find Zhongli approaching your player character.
"It has been a while since we last had a chat. I was hoping you would accompany me while I head to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to retire for the night. We can catch up with each other while we walk."
Too many thoughts were running through your head for you to give a proper response, not that any prompt showed up anyway. Zhongli took your inactivity as a sign of acceptance.
"Good. Let us be on our way then."
Zhongli started to walk past you, which didn't help your thoughts at all.
When his feet hit the ground, there was no visible space between the sole of his shoes and the ground. You never saw any of his clothes clip through any part of his body. In fact, you swear you saw a few wrinkles.
"Everything about him is too detailed. The walking animation, the clothes, the collision, the hitboxes; there is no way in hell everything should be so... fluid."
You started to think whether or not you should go through with his request. However, before you could make a decision, the game decided to make one for you.
The Traveler moved... but your hands were off the keyboard.
"WOAH Woah Woah woah..." You repeated as you backed your chair away from the computer. Now you were starting to think that your game was broken. You quickly scooched your chair back closer to your computer and were about to Alt+F4 outta there before...
"I would refrain from doing that."
You stopped what you were doing and looked up at the screen. Did you miss something that the Traveler did?
"As much as we all love to have you around, we know better than to have you overstay your welcome when you are clearly tired."
...That didn't sound like he was talking to the Traveler.
"I admire your persistence, but you leave me no choice, [Y/N]."
"Oh sh-."
Before you could finish your sentence, a loud buzzing sound suddenly played from your computer speaker. Almost immediately, you could feel yourself about to fade to unconsciousness. You quickly stood up and covered your ears as you tried to fight it, wondering how in the hell this sound was affecting you despite having heard it before in Sumeru. Unfortunately, the noise continued to grow louder and louder until you could no longer stand on your own two feet. You slowly slumped to the floor as the sound began to lower in volume, sensing that its job was done.
You honestly should've seen it coming.
There were too many hints that told you what was about to happen, but you either didn't notice them or ignored them entirely.
Now you're about to fall into unconsciousness against your will, all because someone within Teyvat cared about your well-being.
"How is this even possible?" you pondered before you finally fell into sweet unconsciousness.
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Author Side Notes: I know that I'm not the best writer in the world, but this idea for a SAGAU story I had continued to grow and grow until I felt like I could connect all of the plot points by myself.
If anyone is willing to rewrite or even possibly continue this story, I'm all down for it. I just wanted to see if people like this sort of scenario.
I also have more ideas for SAGAU stories if anyone wants to hear them.
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dustofthedailylife · 4 months
Text
Unaffected a teaching in humbling oneself
-> Masterlist || → Taglist
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Pairing: Dr. Ratio x (gn!) Reader
Summary: Ratio is quite aware of his dashing looks and intellect. If he so wanted, he could use it to his advantage whenever he pleased. That was until he met you, who seemed to be entirely unaffected by it.
Tags: Pining, Crack, unreciprocated feelings towards Ratio, someone give him a clown nose - he's making a fool of himself, written pre-release of character, short one-shot
A/N: L+Ratio to Dr. Ratio himself.
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Consider how the renowned Veritas Ratio would act if he had a crush on you.
No doubt, he was aware of his attractive appearance and masterful intellect. Why else would he only teach while wearing that accursed marble head? He's experienced it all too often that people stop paying attention to his teaching because they only get distracted by appearances. While conveying knowledge about science, it was nothing more than a nuisance to him.
He didn't want nor need hordes of students fawn over him. This still hadn't changed.
However, when you started working as his colleague at the same university one day, it was as if he had lost his composure for the first time in forever. Judging by your appearance, the Aeons themselves must have carved and sent you to smite him down. Let alone your wit and intellect. He was gone the minute he had first laid his eyes on you.
He absolutely wanted to get to know you better and make you fall for him how he fell for you when you first graced him with your presence.
There was just one problem - due to the boundaries he had set for himself, you had never seen his face. He never took the marble head off when he was at work. However, he was almost certain that, once he did so, you would fall for him the same way his students always did before he hid his face.
There was no way you wouldn't fall for a man of his caliber.
Self-assured and while putting on the most attractive smile he could muster he decided to take the mask off as casually as possible in front of you one day. He leaned against the wall beside you, eyeing you confidently. He was certain to see the stars of the galaxy sparkling back at him in your eyes. Your jaw would drop and you'd inch closer to him and then-
"You have something stuck between your teeth." You remarked unaffectedly as you motioned him to remove it.
You poured yourself a cup of coffee and sipped from it with an unwavering expression of apathy before lifting your eyebrows at him.
Why were you so unimpressed? Why didn't you fall for him yet? He was here. His handsome face exposed right in front of you in broad daylight. Were you not attracted to men, perhaps? No, that couldn't be. He happened to catch a conversation between you and another coworker about it. But why weren't you worshipping the ground he walked on yet?
"Is something the matter?" You poked quizically, noticing how his smile and his entire attitude and confidence had faltered and crumbled into dust in an instant.
"Huh? I j-just..." He stammered before hurriedly picking the piece of food out from in between his teeth.
This should've worked. His plan was flawless. Why did you not care about his dashing looks at all.
"Nothing." He said curtly, straightening himself up again to regain his composure.
"Alright." You nodded confusedly, forcing a smile and eyeing him as if he was completely insane.
The following weeks looked about the same. He tried to appear in front of you without the mask more and more often. He would try to initiate in talks and scientific discussions with you but you always seemed to end up annoyed by him. It was doing his head in what he could possibly be doing wrong - No. Surely, it wasn't his fault. It couldn't be.
That was until he overheard a conversation between you and another coworker.
"I have never seen him behave like that - let alone see him take his stone head off so often..." The coworker said puzzledly. "But I have to admit he is quite attractive."
"Pff, no way. Not with a character like that. Either way, I have no idea what his deal is." You sighed. "All I know is that he is grinding my gears with his big-headed attitude, ugh."
His heart dropped at your words. He had never heard that someone had perceived him this way.
Him? Big-headed? And you also don't find him attractive?
Maybe a change of plan was in order. Just... what was he doing wrong?
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Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about HSR or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.
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wandagcre · 4 months
Text
push it for the pleasure | wanda maximoff 🔞
(College!Perv!Bestfriend Wanda Maximoff x Innocent!Fem Reader)
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Wanda’s perverted thirst gets the best of her. You were irresistible and simply for her taking. And what does she do? She doesn’t resist. Instead, Wanda feeds the gnawing, filthy, and hungry monster inside of her by having her way with you even while you’re unconscious.
WARNING: heavy dubcon/noncon themes, fingering, perverted actions such as implied stealing undies, staring, touching and taking nonconsensual nudes, daddy kink (W), corruption kink, somnophilia | 18+ men & minors dni. Words: 3.6k Note: part of the perv!wanda series. you can consider it as a backstory that happened before this oneshot ;)
[perv!wanda series] | [masterlist]
Wanda had an affinity for your tedious nature. Whether it comes down to your personal interests or university workload; not solely rooted by your clear determination written in your adorable face that she admires, but rather, how it leaves you exhausted to your very bones. Tired meant the manifestations of neglect — one that left you comfortable on your bed as the aftermath. 
You were so lucky to have her, not only Wanda has slid a bottle of water or a snack on your side, but on a good day with a less constricting schedule of hers, she's got the privilege of pressing firm around the strained muscles of your shoulder — feeling you succumb into the comfort and her ears being rewarded of your soft moans.
 
A purr escaped your mouth. "That feels so good Wands..." Your body slumped in a relaxed state.
Wanda bit her lip at the innocent play of your words. "Anything for you, dorogaya. Do you want me to press harder?"
"Ah... yes, if- if it's alright with you," came a meek response out of your lips. 
Wanda knew the effect of her native language on you. She couldn't help but lightly pinch your burning cheeks.
As Wanda kneaded the kinks out of your tired muscles, she couldn't help but thirst for more. The tendency of her insatiable want when it comes to you only grows impossibly bigger every day. Whether it was her dying need to touch you or your attention fixated on her - Wanda needs it all.
"It would be better if you took off your shirt. It’s more direct and effective," She murmured at the shell of your ear. Excitement coursed through Wanda's body as you squirmed in your seat.
You turn your head to the side in question. "Wouldn't that be too much of your time?"
"Nonsense. I love doing this for you."
Wanda wolfishly grinned as she saw you eventually nod in agreement.
Oh, you were so pliant and ready for her.
Your bestfriend had to stop her scandalous thoughts of wanting to bite and mark your back as you undressed your top in front of her. She admires the view of your back and its dimples, her mouth-watering and well-awareness of how soft they were. Wanda didn't waste any time on touching you — the breathy innocent moans and soft tilts of your head as you succumbed to her touch whenever Wanda hit a satisfying spot made her mind go haywire. Her thumb applying pressure over the bottom of your trapezius; just where your nape rests upon particularly was a sweet spot. 
You looked lost; wrapped in complete bliss. 
"Can I touch you whenever?"
"Like this?" 
"Yes," Wanda doesn't miss a beat. It was risky and ambiguous, and so she adds, "I love your skin and how soft it is under my touch. It’s so… comforting.”
She decides to take more than she should've and ran her hand across the expanse of your back to caress — how you shivered was hard to go amiss for the woman. 
You know nothing can go wrong especially when it's Wanda. She's the best at attending to your needs, a thought that mildly scared you of how attuned she was, but you knew it was always rooted in benevolence and affection.
Therefore, you couldn't help but recall how come this woman stuck out negatively to other people — having alleged issues of her temperament combined with her altruistic nature. They felt nothing more than a made-up childish rumor in the playground to you as to how Wanda easily conversed with you on that first week when you'd approached her brazenly.
Wanda had figured it out not so long ago; how the double-edged sword trait of yours was how you always believed to see the goodness in the people first. It was a debatable display of strength and flaw.
Besides, you liked having her attention for some reason. Wanda's perfect smile was often so reassuring for you, effortlessly putting you at ease.
"Okay, Wands." was your good-humored reply. Your bestfriend couldn't help but press her lips against the top of your head. You smelled wonderful. Wanda really couldn’t get enough of you.
Your unwavering blind faith-filled Wanda with so much pride.
The cherry on top of it all was how Wanda has taken care of your pretty princess parts; one between your legs and the occasional massages on your breasts. 
It was so easy. 
Wanda thrived on seeing your beautiful irises filled with innocence and gleam as you met her mischievous emerald ones. You've given her the opportunity of a lifetime and she intends to relish every given chance that she can get. It took her baby steps to get here – once she figured out where your affection levels lay, she initiated simple touches – whether it was a hug, tugging you close to her proximity, or now her intentions that stood morally corrupt; Wanda will find a way to accidentally brush against your private parts.
While you lay on one of her arms, Wanda gently ran her fingers through your soft cheeks as you faced her. She soaked in the sweet smell of your shampoo and the distinguishable scent of yours that Wanda could not get enough of. You looked angelic and waiting to be cherished. Soon enough, Wanda seeks for another type of comfort; her hands descending underneath your shirt, tiptoeing almost, with an unstoppable grin on her face — two fingers pushing under the band of your bra. 
"Daddy's here. She'll always be here for you. I'm going to take care of you, dorogaya." Wanda whispered voice lilted with pure desire before her naughty hand came to cup one of your breasts. The recessed night glow that came from your dorm’s window was the only source of light, her actions being done in the darkness amplified the thrill in Wanda’s actions.
A suppressed moan came out of her lips. God, you were so fucking full — supple and fitted perfectly to her palm. One squeeze was followed by a dozen more that inevitably led to pinching and enclosed her fingers from your areola to your now perked tip. 
"All for Daddy..." 
Her thumb came to play for more, in circular motions around your nipple. Your breathing pattern was nuanced although still haven't shown clear evidence of you waking up anytime soon. Wanda rolled the sleeves of her sweatshirt, knowing she had a whole night ahead of her.
Eventually, it wasn't enough. She needed more. 
And so Wanda will make sure to get more. 
Careful not to wake you, she pulls out her arm that served as your pillow from earlier. You now lay on your back, still unphased, Wanda raised the hem of your shirt to reveal your indoor bra. Her eyes darkened at how pure and dainty you were presented in front of her, your blemishes and moles make up a beautiful constellation in Wanda's eyes.
Because of this, she's somewhat still in disbelief at your admission that no one has taken you yet.
But fret not, Wanda thought, because she's here and she's certain that you won't need anyone else other than her anytime soon.
"Daddy's going to play with you dorogaya, trust that it will be so much fun."
Wanda carefully rolls and pushes up your bra and now reveals your delectable breasts, cushiony and hanging free. This simply calls for another photoshoot. 
She quickly retrieved the Polaroid camera that was atop your nightstand, just beside her rings. She's always brought it for a good reason.
Wanda had three subjects; one was nature and the other was you and no one else. What can she say? you've got her wrapped on your finger as much as she does over you. Her last subject was more risqué and controversial, it was still you — although it was a special one — meant for Wanda's eyes alone.
Wanda had placed her lips on your buttery soft breasts and wet them as she suctioned, her tongue coming into play to swirl them around. Her open-mouthed sucks and kisses filled your skin with red and purple marks. Wanda almost had a heart attack at the hoarse, high-pitched timber, a little trait of yours that you randomly let out before you sleepily stretched your limbs. 
You were so cute.
"Dorogaya? Dorogaya..." Wanda hummed in a sing-song, checking if you were still unconscious. 
Once sure that you're in deep sleep again, Wanda doesn't waste a moment to point her camera at your goodies — another one of the latest artworks she had done over you.
Soon as Wanda wrapped up and brought your bra and shirt in its unrattled state, here she was — pensive and debating whether she should ruin your pussy next.
Her greed over you took over with ease. Quickly, Wanda gathers her cascading hair in her hand and ties it up. She masterfully tugged down your shorts and as it reached your ankle, threw it away somewhere in your room. You even wore the red socks she gave you years ago! Wanda swooned at the cute sight. She caressed gently the expanse of your smooth legs where childhood scars and a few more moles came into better view. 
You weren't wet just yet, of course. Wanda immediately wanted to change that and feel the heat you've been hiding away from her — to feel you around her fingers. 
"You're so ready for Daddy, dorogaya. You don't know how much I want to eat you right now... to get a taste directly from its source, my tongue against your pretty and puffy pussy," Wanda knew you couldn't hear her, but it doesn't stop the wanton monologues of her feverish desires over you. "You're just for Daddy, aren't you?" She ran her fingers sultrily across your lower tummy, down to your pelvis.
It simply made her journey worthwhile. She somewhat wanted to communicate how fuckable your virgin self was for her. It was no longer the case as crossed this bridge a few months ago, but her filthy soul relished in corrupting you — with Wanda in complete control and taking you.
Luckily for Wanda, you've raised one of your legs — caught in a folded position, enough for her to pry you open. 
Setting your ribbon-designed undies aside, Wanda’s mouth watered at your inner walls coming into view that she could not help herself and immediately inserted two fingers inside of your velvety walls. 
"Fuck, you're so warm for Daddy!" Wanda rasps out, her body burning. As though in a cue in response, you huskily moaned in your sleep as well. "You love this, don't you? This won't take long, don't worry, dorogaya..."
Your bed rocked and creaked slowly, as Wanda fucked you asleep. The wetness came pouring and coated her until she was knuckle-deep in you. She stretched your now sopping hole, and the breathy moans tumbled out of your pretty lips now and then.
How you did not wake up yet was a miraculous thing for her.
Before Wanda gets carried away in roughly fingering you enough to rouse you out of your consciousness, she pumps and curls her fingers inside of you once more before reaching for her camera. She spreads your inner thighs apart — the viscous wetness that she loved to see was there. The repeated clicks reverberated and the white flashes of her camera came in the knowing four walls of your dorm.
She even inspects your wetness, rubbing and playing with them with her pinched forefinger and thumb.
A wicked smile breaks out of her in glee and satisfaction as Wanda admires for a moment the mess she has made; successful once again as she looks at the polaroid photos she recently took of you.
She pressed a soft kiss on your temple. "You did so well for Daddy."
Almost half an hour later, you wake up confused. You were wet — your cheeks burned. This was becoming a frequent occurrence and you were too old to pee in the bed. You're more than sure that your bladder was well-adjusted. But was there anything else that was wrong with you down there? You tightly crossed your legs.
Wanda appeared from your bathroom. Right, she stayed the night. She was beautiful even if the constant turning in bed had ruffled her appearance. Although, there were much more pressing matters — this is nothing but humiliating for you, surely this spot did not go amiss for your best friend...
"What’s the matter?" Wanda approaches your side. 
You were hesitant, quick to try pushing her away. "Don't come close! I'm wet... I don't know how it happened. Goodness, I know for a fact I didn’t pee myself. Or did I?"
"You did not, dorogaya. Dummy, it was my fault." Wanda gave out a hearty chuckle at your immovable confusion. 
"How was it your fault?"
"I spilled my drink on the bed," Wanda played with your hair and you immediately folded. You were so easy to please. "I was just about to wake you so you can change your shorts and underwear."
You let out another relieved sigh. You were happy to know that it wasn’t your bladder acting up.
"Oh, that kinda explains it. But I think it wasn't your drink that caused this the other nights…”
“Other nights?” Wanda echoed in feigned confusion.
“I-I often find myself wet down there," You confided to Wanda who nodded attentively.
Like a lightbulb moment, Wanda seemed to understand. "It's normal. Our vagina does it by nature, as a way of cleaning itself. It's called a discharge, dorogaya."
As you digest Wanda’s words, confidently assuring you, you take one of her hands and lace it with yours — giving it a comforting squeeze.
"I don't know what I would do without you, Wands. All this time I thought something was wrong with me." You nervously chuckled, beyond glad that the case was sorted out.
"That's why I'll always be here for you." Wanda shoots you a pearly smile. She tilted her head, "Now, why don't you change your clothes?" She brought her other hand that carried your clean panties and shorts. 
Though you were grateful, embarrassment filled you again as you took it from Wanda with your head down and moved away from to bed to start changing.
Wanda sat quietly at your bed and peered curiously over your timid movements. Unbeknownst to you, she was waiting for whether you'd instruct her to look away as you strip down your ruined shorts and undies. She orchestrated the whole thing after her secret session with you, after all.
"C-Can you look away for a bit, Wands?" You requested, but your timid voice cracked in the process.
Wanda raised an eyebrow. "We have the same parts, dorogaya. Besides, I also change in front of you – why does it matter?" She counters and you can't rebut anything else because it is the truth. "I won't judge you. I'm just... impatient to cuddle with you again."
There isn't harm in it, you suppose. Wanda has always been there for you and has proven herself worthy of your trust. So, you affectionately smile at Wanda's needy self.
Your whole back view almost faced your bestfriend, much to her delight — only that her jaw slacked as she got a brief glimpse of your bare ass. Wanda was certain that it was buttery soft just as your hypnotizing breasts were. 
You saw the clear, gooey, and viscous substance that left a mark in the center of your underwear. Your face curled up in a slight grimace. Even if you knew better about it now — all thanks to Wanda — it was somehow still icky for you to look at.
Wanda hands the clean replacements and before you can tug up your new shorts, she pulls you in her direction unexpectedly and brash to your liking.
"Wands– what?" Wanda didn't speak, touched you gently as though you were going to break. Her hand remained on your hips. 
"Hush now, dorogaya. I need to check something." Her tone sounded serious so you let her. Although it felt too intimate, blood immediately came rushing to your ears and cheeks. "I think you need to replace some of them..." 
You try to protest out of timidness, "But—"
"Let me inspect you first. Promise I'll be gentle. It won't be weird," Wanda gave you a condescending smile and you easily caved in.
You feel Wanda everywhere in your body. Her touch was electric on your lower back, the other was too close to your private parts — all wandering. Wanda's fingers came to trace underneath the garter of your underwear. From your pelvis to your innermost thighs, you almost closed your legs shut in reflex.
The air felt ambiguously thick.
Her hands continue to roam around the material — excruciatingly, it was underneath your buttcheek and the pubis area especially, where Wanda’s hands gravitate and wander back onto — doing motions as though smoothening it out.
You let out a sharp inhale and your stomach twitches each time in sync.
"This shouldn't be too hard and tight for you. Not only does it leave marks, but it's uncomfortable, isn't it? The material also is too thin. It's bound to tear off soon." Wanda lists out and all you can think is holy shit, she's right. You weren't confident with your picks when you shopped for them, in all honesty.
"Yeah. I wasn't sure what to pick..." You admit with your eyes looking at your sock-covered feet and your hands clasped in shame.
Besides, you somehow keep on misplacing them. You were baffled by now because you were getting understocked with the amount of undies you had. Where have they all gone?
"Tell you what," Wanda calmly calls your attention and tilts your head up with her hand, "I'd take you to shop some and help you throughout the process so I can teach you too. Don't worry, it's all my treat dorogaya."
Your eyes beamed. You need as much help as you can. "You'll do that for me? But... isn't it too much? I can’t ask that of you.”
"I don't mind, it's not like we do it often. I’m personally offering." Wanda shrugged. She had a point. You'll stop her the next time she insists... maybe in return, you'll do something nice for her.
Sneakily, one of her hands that rested on your lower back descended to your ass cheeks and came in contact to slap them. You sharply gasped and flinched upon the sudden contact, giving Wanda an unamused look. You hoped that she wouldn't detect the fluster in your appearance underneath it.
You didn't understand how it was somewhat satisfying for you. It was a mere play, an act that was nothing more but to tease you — but it felt good against your ass.
You whisper-yelled, calling out her outrageous act.
"Wanda!"
She sports a mischievous smile, her perfect teeth biting down her lower lip. Wanda shook her head and finally raised her hands in defeat.
"Come on! I thrive on riling you up. It's essentially my duty. Now come back and get comfy here in bed. You deserve more sleep. I'll take care of these," She points to the clothes you stripped out of. "And no complaints. I don't mind, I've seen all of you now dorogaya."
"You will be the death of me."
"I love you too," She teasingly replied before disappearing into your view and the words of your best friend made your heart jump.
You groaned in the soft pillow in surrender although it was too much for you — you knew that Wanda's intentions were coming from a good place. She's nothing but thoughtful to you. Soon, the harmony of cold and warmth of your sheets and duvet became too comfortable. You have proven Wanda right and easily succumbed to sleep once again.
Meanwhile, Wanda gathers the polaroid photos she took just a few minutes ago. She closes the door and threw your shorts to the hamper. But your pretty and soaked underwear? It's coming with her.
With the still-damp material of your undies, Wanda strips out her bottoms and sat to the closed toilet seat. She places the fabric over her now exposed pussy; not wasting any time rubbing it against her wet cunt, starting slow, and even thrusting it inside to stimulate and tease her filthy fantasies of you even more. 
God, here she was, touching herself at the thought of you and the photos she had taken of your pretty princess parts. 
Wanda took a good look at it; albeit with much effort as her eyes were threatening to shut at the sensation. It was easy to recall her indecent touches — the feeling of your folds ridiculously soft and unearthly, stretching your labia so she can insert her fingers inside of your opening and how it sucked her in slowly — fuck, you were so tight!
These thoughts spurred Wanda to rub herself with harder pressure and dared to tug and play with her clit — all while covered with your soaked undies. It was somewhat rough against the vulnerable lines and ridges of her labia and provided the undeniably irresistible friction that she craved, doing it repeatedly until Wanda stretched herself out.
It was your cum coating her own pulsating and clenching pussy. She can't help but moan at the thought as she touches herself inside these four, cold walls. How Wanda can only wish instead of her fingers, it was your dainty ones. Even better, you're on your knees for her... eyes wide, expectant, and obedient to her orders. You always looked at her in a certain way that made her stomach flip in adoration and glee. In her filthiest imaginations, Wanda is calling the shots, ordering you to go flatten up your tongue like a good girl and to lap her faster—!
Wanda finally cums hard, a guttural low moan tumbling out of her lips. 
Fuck, she got so wet that it seeped out, the woman was sitting in her mess. Gripping and glancing at the jerking-off materials, she couldn't be more proud of herself today. 
Another for her beloved and favorite collection — all thanks to you. 
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do not repost/translate on other sites. © wandagcre
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ode2rin · 5 months
Text
Rin thinks you’re pretty. 
No, scratch that; it was far too inadequate to describe you that way. If he were to be utterly honest, you were exquisitely, heartbreakingly beautiful, far more than his heart could contain.
You’re pretty when you spoke, when you said his name, when you smiled – oh God, don't even get him started on how your smile could brighten even the darkest of days. He was certain that a face like yours was meant for smiling, and it was even brighter when he was the reason behind it.
Right now, however, Rin finds it hard to look at your face when you’re like this – crying.
and it is even worse when he’s the source of it.
“Stop crying, dumbass,” he whispered, sighing. 
“Then stop getting into fights, you asshole,” you retorted back in between sobs.
Rin fell silent after your reply. He couldn't find the right words, not with your sobs filling the room and drowning his thoughts. He watched you as you applied a small amount of betadine to a cotton swab and wiped away your tears before turning to him.
“Take a seat. Let me clean that,” you offered, pertaining to the small cut o n his lip.
Rin took one long look at your face, and without a word, he moved to the corner of your bed, feeling the familiar dip of the mattress beneath him while you pulled the chair beside your table and placed it in front of him.
He'd been here countless times before. Growing up with your mothers being best friends meant that you were practically childhood friends by default, and that also meant spending endless hours in each other's homes.
But this time was different from all the previous visits; it was the first time he was in your room, no longer just a close friend anymore. That reality and your crushing tears – they were consuming all corners of his thoughts.
You closed the gap between you two to get a better look at the swollen cut from a blow he had taken. You gently dabbed the swab around the wound and felt Rin's sharp intake of breath as you did so.
You began to reason, “This wouldn't happen if you could've just–”
“I don't want to hear it.”
You bit your lower lip and tears started swelling again in the corner of your eyes. Rin was nothing if not so fucking stubborn– that you knew since childhood, but you wished he could put it aside for a moment and truly listen to you.
“Okay,” you coldly said, conceding and turning your focus on cleaning his wound.
Rin wanted to pummel his own self in the ground because of the passing hurt that graced your eyes from how he cut you off. A sniff escaped you and Rin physically felt his heart contract.
What was he supposed to do? Stand by and let those damn assholes make lewd comments about you? There was no way in hell he would just let it slide.
This wasn't the first time Rin had taken matters into his own hands when it came to you. Since third grade, Rin had taken his mom's words about looking after you to heart. And it had always been that way, even back when he was hellbent in denying his feelings. Not an ounce of rationality graces his mind when it comes to you, so you should've already known that he didn't have it in him to hold back.
He caught your hand and gently squeezed it. The gesture prompted you to look at him briefly before turning your gaze away, still hurt from his dismissal of your concern.
“I didn’t mean that,” he squeezes your hand again, “Look at me, please.”
You turned your head to meet your stubborn boyfriend. This time, you let the tears fall freely.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, sincere and uncharacteristically gentle, “Speak to me, y/n.”
“I just..” you sobbed, “I don’t like it when you get hurt. That’s all.”
“I don’t like it more when you get hurt,” he countered.
“It's just some stupid words from stupid people, Rin. They're not worth it.”
“But you are.”
Your heart raced at Rin's words. when you raise your gaze to seek his’, you are met with a pair of half-lidded teal eyes staring right into you.
“You’re the one who’s worth it.”
Rin's words lingered in the air, leaving you utterly speechless. You never expected him to utter something so heartfelt – after all, this was Itoshi Rin. A man capable of almost anything, yet kind words seemed to be an exception. Then again, this was Rin, the very same man who believed he wasn't adept at love and yet chose to lay his heart bare in your palms, albeit a bit stubbornly.
As you struggled to find words to express how much his words meant to you, Rin gently raised his hands to wipe away the lingering tears in your eyes. His fingers brushed against the loose strands of hair nearly covering your eyes, tucking them away with meticulous care. His touch was so gentle that it’s almost hard to believe it was the same hands who mercilessly struck two men hours ago.
His other hand snaked around your waist, pulling you closer until you were almost seated on his right leg. The closeness made your heart swell, and you couldn't help but nestle into his warmth.
“Stop crying, please?” he murmured, “you’re getting your snot in my shirt.” 
Way to ruin a moment. “I hate you,” you jokingly scoff against his neck.
“No, you don’t,” he disagrees, so full of conviction it needed some humbling.
“You bet? No kisses,” you see him smirk at your declaration, “until that cut completely heals,” you added, wiping that smirk on his face.
A laugh escaped you at the sudden shift in his expression. gone was the challenged smirk and all that's left are furrowed brows and a subtle pout. 
How dare you take that away from him? Maybe you do hate him, Rin is convinced.
“Still worth it, baby?” you ribbed, seemingly enjoying his misery.
“Yes.” with you finally smiling? Absolutely. You’re smiling, and sometimes, it’s enough and more – even for Itoshi Rin.
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note. ode2RIN comeback because of rinturn 2023 (I KNOW IT'S LATE)
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youunravelme · 8 months
Text
this is how you fall in love
author's note: let it be known, i've never been to jfk airport, and it probably shows. sue me. also sorry this took SO FUCKING LONG to write. it lowkey put me in a writing slump because it's just a monster but i hope you can forgive me. this fic is literally 18,952 words long, so i apologize in advance.
pairing: mat barzal x reader
summary: when confronted with the idea of going home without a date, you lie and say you have a boyfriend. which would be fine, except you haven't dated anyone seriously in a year. so instead of facing the ridicule of your family, you ask mat.
warnings: cursing (this is a given at this point), mean girl behavior?
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you weren't quite sure why you said it.
actually.
scratch that.
you were 1000 percent sure why you said it.
you could not, would not be the family embarrassment yet again.
if you got one more wedding invitation in the mail, you were going to scream. you were happy for all your college friends, really, you were, but it was the presence of this one particular wedding invitation from your cousin angela that had you seething.
mainly because it was accompanied by a phone call from your mother.
"i told angela that she didn't need to put a plus one down for you, but she insisted. so don't feel bad if you don't have someone, sweetheart. plenty of people are still single at your age."
maybe it was the irritation at your mother's condescension, or the exhaustion from being the butt of every family joke for the past five years, that had you saying something you wish you could take back.
"i do have someone, mom!"
her scoff resonated through the speaker. "honey, you don't have to lie--"
"i'm not lying! it's mat!"
the pause that followed your white lie was louder than the new york city streets just outside your apartment.
"your friend, mat? you told me you'd never see him that way!" she accused.
you shrugged, despite her not seeing you. and thank goodness for that, she'd immediately know you were lying if she could see your face. "something just clicked."
"how long has this been going on?"
"a few months."
"and you never told us?"
"we wanted to keep it lowkey until we knew this was something real."
your mom hummed but seemed appeased. "well, i can't wait to meet him. you are coming down a week early, right?"
in hindsight, you should've told mat immediately instead of postponing it until two weeks before you had to leave. but he was out of town for games, then you had a work trip, and then time slipped away from you.
but there was nothing you and a tub of bubblegum ice cream couldn't accomplish together.
at least in matters of mathew barzal.
he answered the door a few seconds after you knocked. a smile overtook his face until his eyes dropped down to the ice cream in your hands.
"what do you need?" he asked with a quirked brow.
"who says i need something?" you blinked in what you hoped was an innocent manner.
mat sighed and opened the door wide enough for you to come in. "because you have ice cream, and you showed up at my door unannounced." but he took the ice cream from your hands anyway. "how'd you even know i was home?"
you shrugged and plopped onto his couch. "i checked your location."
mat blinked. "you have my location? since when?"
you rolled your eyes. "you make me sound like a stalker, you made me share my location with you when i was out drinking with my coworkers and i demanded to have yours as well."
you didn't get to see mat's face because he was walking into his kitchen to put the ice cream away.
"so why are you here?" he asked once he returned.
"can't i just come over and visit my best friend?"
mat blinked. "no. you want something. what is it?"
you threw yourself back into the couch cushions and groaned, tossing an arm over your eyes. "you're not allowed to judge me."
"well that doesn't sound fun."
"mat, i'm serious, okay? i got myself into some shit and you're the only one i trust to help me out."
you felt the couch cushions sink next to you. a hand removed your arm from your face. "are you safe?" he asked. "are you in trouble? do we need to get the police involved?"
you looked at the concern on his face and sat up immediately. "no! no no no no no! it's not like that, i just happened to lie to my mom and need your help."
"why would you need my help to lie to your mom? you're not making any sense."
you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. "i told my mom we were dating so i had someone to bring to my cousin's wedding."
a pause, followed by mat's obnoxious laughter.
"you told your mom we're dating?" he choked out between cackles. "how did you manage not to vomit after saying that?"
you rolled your eyes at his barbs. "you were the first person to come to mind! what else should i have done?"
"jeez i don't know, told the truth?"
you flopped back onto the couch again. "no, mat, you don't understand. you didn't hear how she was talking to me! 'plenty of people are still single at your age!' i mean the gall of that woman!"
mat laughed again. "'gall?'"
"yes, mat, some of us use words bigger than a fifth grader's vocabulary."
"careful, that's no way to talk to your boyfriend, now is it?"
you scoffed. "boyfriend? are you--" then it hit you. "you'll do it? you'll be the fake love of my life?" you jumped off the couch.
mat smiled and leaned back into the cushions. "ask nicely."
you rolled your eyes but a smile was already pulling at your lips. "mathew michael paul barzal, will you please be my boyfriend?"
he crossed his hands behind his head and smirked. "calm down, you don't have to beg."
"i would throw something at you, but you're already doing me such a huge favor."
"you owe me one," he smirked.
oh, you'd owe him big.
one week till going home
"okay, so how did we meet?" you and mat were seated at a booth in a coffee shop the both of you liked to frequent.
"no need to reinvent the wheel," he said. "let's just tell them the truth."
"that we met at a bar through mutual friends? that's so unromantic!"
mat rolled his eyes. "we're not a fucking rom com, sweetheart. we're lying to your family and being as honest as possible makes the lying look more convincing."
you sighed and sat back in your seat. honestly, you had no reason to be frustrated. mat was doing you a favor, not the other way around. and with it being the offseason, it wasn't lost on you how much mat was giving up to play house with you. he could be visiting his own family instead of lying to yours.
yet here he was, sitting across from you with his disgusting black coffee.
you must've been staring at his cup because he snapped his fingers in your face. "what? what're you staring at?"
your face twisted in disgust. "can't believe you like that shit. no cream or sugar?"
mat eyed the frappuccino nestled in your hands. "i'm sorry, i didn't realize milkshakes qualify as coffee nowadays."
"you're just mad that my drink tastes good."
mat rolled his eyes. "keep telling yourself that."
you looked down at your phone at your notes app agenda. you deleted the intricate backstory bullet point and moved onto bullet point number two.
"okay, how long have we been dating?"
mat blinked. "you're the liar, you tell me."
god, why were you friends with him in the first place?
"i told my mom we've been together for a few months but i'm not sure what constitutes a few."
mat shrugged. "let's say we got together around the time of my injury when you nursed me back to health and realized how handsome i was."
you rolled your eyes, but wrote it down in your notes app anyway. "okay so where was our first date?"
"am i the one who has to answer all of these questions? who says we even need all of this? it's not like they're gonna lock us in a room and interrogate us separately."
"my brother would say otherwise." mat gestured for you to go on. "when we met his girlfriend, my family immediately separated them so they could bombard them with questions. but since everyone will be focused on my cousin's wedding, we should be good."
"who should i be worried about?"
you thought for a moment, in your opinion, your entire family was a concern in terms of introducing them to mat.
there was your brother, who could be an ass in a heartbeat; though, when you thought about it, he'd probably just leave the two of you alone.
your dad and mom would probably ask a few questions. your grandmother would probably be too busy trying to stuff her cooking down his throat to really pose a problem.
if you were being honest, you were concerned about your cousin, angela.
she wasn't what you would call a "girl's girl." throughout your childhood, it was like she was competing against you in a competition you didn't want to be in. who had the bigger birthday, the most friends, the most boyfriends, the bigger house, the better car, the better college.
it used to bother you more when you were younger. the way she'd flirt with your boyfriends or bribe your friends to hang out with her. it was made worse by the enabling of your parents and aunt.
"just keep an eye out for angela," was all you said.
mat's brow furrowed. "your cousin? why?"
you'd never fully told him about your less than perfect relationship with her, but considering the two of you were in a public setting and he wasn't your therapist? you kept that information to yourself and just shrugged.
"we don't have the best relationship."
mat seemed to understand you didn't want to speak on it anymore so he nodded and gestured to your phone. "is your phone ready to be seen by your family?"
"i'm sorry, what? why would my family go through my phone?"
"they'll at least want to see that i'm your lock screen, you're mine, after all."
"i am not." but mat held up his phone and sure enough it was a picture of you and him after one of his games, wearing his jersey with your arms wrapped around his waist. "you're shitting me, why?"
mat shrugged and locked his phone, placing it down on the table. "i looked good in the photo."
you wanted to call bullshit, but he was already doing you a favor, so you let it go.
"fine," you said. "i'll change my lock screen." you scrolled through your photos until you found one you liked.
"can i see it?" he asked.
you immediately held your phone to your chest. "no!"
"i showed you mine!"
"that sounds like a you problem!"
"but it's not fair!" he whined.
"life's not fair, barzy."
he rolled his eyes but dropped the subject, knowing full well he could make you show him just by bringing up the favor he was doing for you. but for some reason, he decided to let it go.
"anything else?" mat asked before checking his watch.
you looked down at your notes app and couldn't find a reason to get him to stay. "no, i think that's it. why, do you have somewhere to be?"
he shrugged. "just meeting up with a couple of my teammates."
"during the offseason? don't you get enough of each other during the regular season?"
"sure, but we miss each other sometimes. i mean we go from seeing all the time to nothing. plus you got me staying in the city a little longer than normal."
you rolled your eyes. "you didn't have to say yes."
but he smiled anyway. "i know." he stood up from the table and knocked on it once. "text me the dates of travel this week so i can put them on my calendar. i'll get the plane tickets. let me know if you need anything else!"
he pressed a kiss on the top of your head and then he was gone.
an older woman stood up and walked towards you and smiled. "i just wanna say, you and your boyfriend are so cute together!"
maybe the whole fake dating thing would be easier than you thought.
going home
you slept over at mat's the night before leaving for the airport because it would make things easier on marty who agreed to drive you both to the airport. you weren't exactly sure how mat convinced marty to do it, but you made it a habit of not asking questions you didn't want the answer to.
"thanks again for the ride, marty," you said from the backseat.
originally, you and mat were fighting over who got to sit in the front, but not in the way others might expect. he said it was polite to let ladies sit in the front (which, when has he ever called you a lady?). you said he had the longer legs and needed the space.
marty groaned at the both of you to stop wasting his gas and to get in the damn car, i swear to god, barzy.
you got the backseat simply because you got in and shut the door before mat could pull you out.
"where are you and barzy headed?" marty asked.
"back to my hometown. my cousin is getting married," you supplied before he had time to ask follow up questions.
"and you chose barzy to be your date?"
you awkwardly chuckled. "tito was already in canada and i didn't have it in me to ask him to come back to the states."
"oh fuck off," mat said from the front seat.
the drive continued with you sporadically staring out the window or tuning into the conversation mat and marty were having about offseason workouts and the nba finals. when marty pulled up to the airport, mat was the first one out, opening your door a beat later.
he grabbed both of your bags in his hands, saying a quick thanks to his teammate for the both of you before shutting the trunk.
"i can carry my bags, mat."
he laughed, but otherwise continued on like he hadn't heard you. if you were a better woman, or maybe someone who hadn't been friendzoned for the last few years, you would've acknowledged the veins in his arms popping out under the strain of your luggage.
but you'd been down that road before back before you were friends and just admiring a handsome stranger from across the bar.
look at how that turned out for you.
you were expecting to split up at TSA since you knew mat had pre check and you most certainly did not. you were expecting him to hand your bags over (a backpack and a carry on) and head in the pre check lane.
so imagine your surprise when he not only refused to hand your bags over, he continued walking to the normal security check.
"mat," you hissed, but he kept walking. "mat." you stood on your toes and grabbed his shoulder to keep him from walking, but he brushed you off. so you stopped moving altogether until he noticed you weren't following him anymore.
"will you come on? you're gonna make us late!" he turned around, looking exasperated for some reason, like he wasn't the one being weird.
"mat, you need to go that way." you pointed to the pre check area.
he blinked at you, rolled his eyes, and turned around and kept walking.
"mathew michael paul barzal, where are you going?" you called after him, practically running to catch up to his long strides.
"i thought it was obvious, i'm headed to security," he deadpanned.
"but your security is that way mr. pre check."
"i'm not doing pre check. i'm going through regular security like you."
"why?"
mat glanced down at you and by that look alone, you would've thought you were the dumbest person alive in his mind. "please don't play dumb, it's not cute."
"i'm not playing dumb! and i don't care about being cute!"
"i'm not going to abandon you at tsa. i'd feel much better if we stick together, happy?" he stopped walking altogether and fixed you with a look. one that kept you rooted to your spot. "you happy, now?" you nodded. "good, let's go."
you followed after him and got in line.
tsa took a total of 20 minutes to get through. mat insisted you go first which meant you put your backpack on and grabbed your carry on before he could.
"you're ridiculous," he said as the both of you started the trek towards your gate.
"you sound like my mother," you quipped.
the rest of your walk was spent in peaceful silence. the both of you made it to the gate with about thirty minutes until boarding, which was the latest you'd ever arrived to a gate before.
you and mat argued about when to arrive the night before.
he won.
mainly because he was the one to tell marty when to pick you up from his apartment.
it felt like no time had passed when the gate attendant started speaking over the intercom. instinctively, you zoned out. you weren't an idiot, you knew when to board. this wasn't your first rodeo.
but mat started standing up when the gate attendant started calling for the first group.
you tugged his shirt sleeve. "mat, what the hell?"
it was a good thing your family wasn't there to see all the drama that unfolded between the two of you in the airport. anyone who watched the two of you since you'd arrived wouldn't believe you were in love.
not when you were actively getting on each other's nerves.
"will you stop?" he swatted your hand away only to grab it a second later to tug you into a standing position.
"what are you doing? we don't get on the plane yet--"
but he cut you off when he shoved a plane ticket in your hand with the words first class written on it.
"mat..." you trailed off. "what is this?"
he glanced down at you and rolled his eyes. "don't act like you've never seen a plane ticket before."
"asshole. why is it first class?"
he shrugged but wouldn't meet you eye. "i get more leg room."
"but why wouldn't you just put me in economy? mat i can't afford to pay you back for this!" you were panicking and beginning to think about how much you'd have to save before you could venmo him the full amount. you were about to pull your phone out to see how much it would cost before he grabbed your hand again, this time squeezing it in his own.
"don't worry about it," he said calmly. "i wasn't gonna let you sit alone, and i have the money for it, so i did it."
"but i can't afford--"
"i was never gonna let you pay me back anyways, so don't even think about how much it cost." while still holding onto your hand, he guided the both of you over to the gate entrance where your tickets were scanned so you could board.
you were sitting in first class moments later.
mat let you take the window seat while he got the aisle, saying it gave him more space, but you liked to think it was because he knew you liked watching the changing landscapes.
when the plane took off, mat leaned his head back in the seat and plugged his airpods in, closing his eyes as he did so. you mentally slapped yourself for forgetting yours, stupidly thinking that maybe mat would want to talk when he'd been uncharacteristically quiet the entire trip thus far.
you sat back in your seat and looked out the window as the clouds passed by. worries of how your family would react to mat, or worse, how mat would react to your family, filling your mind.
god you didn't think you could stomach losing him. in fact, maybe your entire idea was too risky. you'd take being the butt of the family jokes for years to come if it meant you got to keep mat. if you lost him--
your hand was squeezed twice.
you looked away from the window to mat who was holding your hand again and had an airpod out.
"you're thinking too loud," he said. "you okay?"
you nodded but it was clear he didn't believe you. nonetheless, he didn't push. instead, he held an airpod out to you. the tones of some pop song filled your ear.
mat didn't let go of your hand for the entire rest of the plane ride.
as soon as the plane hit the tarmac, mat was taking his airpod back and stuffing both into the case and back into his backpack. you texted your mom to let her know you'd just landed and would be getting an uber to her house.
while you were texting your mother, mat was grabbing your bags and holding up the line so you could slide out.
he didn't even acknowledge the glares and eye rolls being shot at both of you.
you and mat started your walk off the plane and towards the exit of the airport.
"so remind me who i need to be concerned about meeting? is it your dad?"
you laughed. your father was a lot of things, intimidating was not even remotely close to one. "not even close. it's angela that's the problem the problem."
"angela's the one getting married, right?" you nodded. "why are you concerned about her? she'll be too focused on getting married."
you laughed. actually, cackled. "she's had this planned out since we were seven. i'd bet my first born child that she has all of this finalized months ago."
"anything else i should know?" he asked.
you thought to yourself. what could you say about angela that wouldn't be mean but still be true?
"just....stay close. we need to go everywhere together, understood?"
he furrowed his brows. "even to the bathroom?"
you thought back to that one time in 11th grade when you didn't follow your boyfriend to the bathroom. "especially then," you said.
"got it. stick to you like glue."
you were staring at your phone and opening up your uber app when mat nudged you, but you ignored him.
but he nudged you before just grabbing your phone out of your hand.
"what?!" you asked.
he pointed. "is that your mom?"
a cold chill went down your back as you made eye contact with the woman who was your carbon copy holding a sign with yours and mat's (albeit spelled wrong) names on it. she was smiling and waving erratically with the hand that wasn't holding onto the poster.
"oh my god."
before you could even stop him, mat was walking towards your mom with an award winning smile. to your absolute horror, he placed your bags on the ground and allowed her to wrap him in a hug.
you zombie walked over to them, like you were trapped in some fever dream.
"honey!" she squealed when she pulled away from mat. "you didn't tell me how handsome mat was!" she said not so quietly.
god you wanted to die. curl up and die right there on the airport floor.
mat was snickering into his fist at your reaction.
maybe you should've asked beau instead.
home
your mom parked the car in the driveway; she nearly swooned when mat opened your car door for you and grabbed all of your bags.
"such a gentleman," was all she said before heading up the front porch.
the two of you followed your mother into your house where your dad, your brother, and his girlfriend sat in the living room.
"mat," you started. "this is my dad, my brother cody, and his girlfriend harper. guys, this is mat."
"i would wave, but my hands are full."
"oh honey, stop being rude and show mat to your room."
you blinked. "you mean, our rooms, right?" your mother and father were very traditional in that sense. so you'd banked on having to share a bathroom at most with mat.
not an entire bedroom.
not a tiny bed.
"we're not gonna act like the two of you haven't slept together already. i was born at night, but not last night," your father said from his position in the recliner.
you could hear mat choking on air while your brother cackled.
"besides," your mother cleared her throat. "cody's old room has been converted into an office, so that just leaves the queen bed in your room, sweetheart. that won't be a problem, will it?"
you shook your head, though you very much wanted to curl up in a hole and die. "no ma'am, that'll be fine."
your father crossed his hands over his stomach and leveled mat with a heated stare. "just because i know the two of you have slept together does not mean under any circumstances that it should happen under this roof. do you understand me, son?"
mat nodded, though he looked the most uncomfortable you'd ever seen him. "yes sir."
"oh honey," your mother started. "let them go settle in. dinner will be in an hour."
you led mat up the stairs and to your childhood bedroom. you finally gave up on offering to help carry the bags. mat, for the most part, looked happy to do something with his hands all things considered.
the room hadn't changed much since you moved out and away from home. the walls were still lilac, the carpet was still cream.
but the dolls you had growing up were missing, and for that, you were thankful.
mat dropped the bags on the ground and shut the door behind him. his shoulders relaxed for the first time since getting off the airplane.
"your family's nice," he said.
you immediately flocked to him until there was only about a foot between you. "mat, i'm so sorry. i didn't think they'd make us share a room, they never let cody do that growing up."
he smiled and placed his hands on your shoulders. "it's okay. it's just for a week. we've fallen asleep together on the couch before, it'll be just like that, just in a bed, okay? and i promise i won't stare when you get changed."
you nodded and wrapped your arms around his waist. "this is already so overwhelming."
"hey, we're the dream team, okay? i'm the best liar ever. we've got this in the bag."
and when he sounded so confident, how could you possibly believe otherwise?
the two of you got settled in your room before completely kicking off your shoes, changing into comfier clothes (with you in the closet and mat in the room) and settling into bed just to scroll on your phones. your mom came knocking before too long to tell you dinner was ready.
dinner was a pot of spaghetti, your mom's best dish. everyone was seated by the time you and mat made it into the dining room. mat, ever the performer, pulled your chair out and took the seat to your right, choosing to sit next to your mom rather than your father.
"are you waiting for a grand invitation? dig in," your father grunted. his irritation immediately kicked everyone into gear, with your family passing around garlic bread and filling plates with pasta.
the table was quiet aside from the sounds of forks scraping against the plates.
"so mat," cody started. "what do you do for a living?"
"oh," he said, wiping his mouth. "i play professional hockey."
"an athlete?" your mother questioned. "i thought you learned from the last one."
you about dropped your head into your plate. "mom...."
"sorry, sorry, i know we said we wouldn't talk about him, but he's going to be a part of the family soon."
mat's neck should've snapped from how fast he whipped it to look at you.
you nudged his knee under the table with yours. later, you hoped he'd understand.
harper cleared her throat. "what team do you play for?" she asked. "i grew up a devils fan, so i have to know."
"islanders," mat smirked, like it was something to be proud of, and to him, it was. to your family though? they were more concerned with the upcoming college football season to really care.
"oh god," harper replied. "at least you don't play for the rangers."
mat took a sip of his water. "agreed."
"do you still have all your teeth?" cody asked.
you inhaled and started choking on what you guessed was a spaghetti noodle. mat reached over and immediately started patting your back quite forcefully until your airway was cleared.
"yeah," mat said. "still have all my teeth."
"how did you two meet?" your mom asked. clearly your family was in interrogation mode, but at the very least these were questions you prepared for.
"at a bar through some mutual friends," mat answered, knowing good and well they weren't looking for you to say anything, their eyes were solely focused on your best friend.
"and out of all the girls, you picked this one? did you know she couldn't tie her shoes till she was in third grade?" cody laughed.
mat didn't.
which was odd, because he was usually the first one to poke fun at you.
"you wet the bed until you were nine," you shot back, ready to diffuse the tension.
a loud laugh burst from harper's mouth. not even her hand over her lips could quite muffle the volume of it.
cody rolled his eyes but held his hands up. "laugh all you want, harp. you chose this."
she smiled and leaned into him. "i did."
you stared until mat's hand landed on your thigh, effectively snapping you out of your daze. you looked at him and gave him a small smile before eating more of your mom's cooking.
dinner was over shortly thereafter, with small talk being made between the six of you. when it ended, mat was the first one up, grabbing both of your plates, while you grabbed the cups, and followed you into the kitchen.
"oh no, you're not washing dishes," you said when you saw him put the plates in the sink. but he made no sound of hearing you. "mat!" you hissed before placing your cups in the sink and grabbing him by the arm. "you're not washing dishes! you're a guest!"
"neither of you are," your mother walked in. "you just got here. your father and i will clean up dinner, the two of you can go relax and unwind. i'm sure you've had a long day."
"i can help--" mat started.
but your mom started twirling a hand towel with a smile on her face. "don't make me smack you with this, mat." and the very sight of that coupled with the lighthearted threat had you both sprinting out of the kitchen. you'd grown up in that house long enough to remember the sting of the towel on your legs when you annoyed your mother.
you also remembered trying to get back at her once and failing completely.
your father passed the two of you as he walked into the kitchen while your brother and his girlfriend took their spots on the couch. it only left one seat left in the room, your dad's chair. but combined with the air travel, the early morning, you were left exhausted and nothing sounded better than showering and crawling into bed.
"we're gonna head upstairs, long day and all," you said to cody and harper, the inference was that they would tell your parents.
mat followed you up the stairs and into your childhood bedroom. "you take the first shower," you instructed. "i have to wash my hair and it'll take longer."
he nodded and gathered his clothes while you searched your bag for a set of modest pajamas. he finished his shower in about twenty minutes.
you hopped in the shower and went through your routine, washing your hair and body before stepping out and drying off. when you got back to your room, mat was laying in bed under the covers watching the tv on your dresser.
in true fashion, he was watching espn.
"don't you get enough of this during the season? i didn't even know you liked baseball." you crawled into bed and cuddled into mat's clothed chest like you always did.
mat shrugged, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "i was waiting for you to come back to decide what we should watch."
you hummed and buried your face into his shirt.
cuddling wasn't abnormal for the two of you, most movie nights at mat's place ended with you in similar positions. you were aware his friends made fun of him for it, but mat thrived off physical affection and you were all too willing to give it to him.
"just turn on a movie," you mumbled.
he selected a random mission impossible movie that you couldn't give two shits about. but when the movie and your fresh shower were coupled with mat running a hand up and down your back?
you were out like a light.
exploring the hometown -- the dress shop
it was an alarm that woke you up right as the sun rose. you groaned into your pillow, burying your face into the fabric. a warm arm tightened its grip around your waist. for a moment you freaked out, trying to wriggle away from the person who had you locked in, but the person grumbled and groaned.
"if you keep moving like that, i'm going to need a cold shower. so stop."
oh.
mat.
oh.
you immediately stopped moving and relaxed back into the bed.
"we need to talk," he said.
"can we talk later? it's barely even morning."
but mat had no intention of letting you sleep in. he used his arm to forcibly turn you over to face him. when you looked him in the face, his hair was mussed and in his eyes. before you could even stop yourself, you hand was reaching and moving the hair out of the way.
"what did your mom mean when she said the last athlete you dated was joining the family soon?"
you groaned and shoved your head into his chest, but he lightly pushed your forehead away from him so he could look you in the eyes.
"i'm serious," he said.
you sighed. "i dated this guy in 11th grade, his name was owen and he played football. he was the starting tight end and a grade older than me." you avoided looking at him and instead traced the letters on his islanders t-shirt with your fingers. "things were great, he was nice and all, so i invited him to my birthday party. he went to the bathroom, and i noticed he was gone for awhile so when i went to look for him, he was making out with angela."
mat's grip tightened on your waist. he said your name quietly, but you shook your head.
"it's fine," you said. "i told my parents but angela didn't get in trouble, not really at least. my aunt pressured me to make up with her for the sake of 'family' and 'feminism,' so i accepted her half assed apology and congratulated her when they got engaged a year ago."
"what a bitch," was all mat said.
"mat..."
but he was sitting up and pulling you with him. "no, don't brush this off. what she did was shitty. and your family just expected you to forgive her and watch her get married to him?"
"mat, it happened years ago. forgive and forget."
"i think you mean resent and remember," he grumbled.
"can we just go back to sleep? it's too early for this."
mat huffed but sank back into the mattress.
the two of you fell back asleep until light was hitting you in the eyes. "get up, sleepy heads! you can't sleep the day away!"
you groaned at the sound of your mother's cheering, or maybe it was the bright ceiling light blinding you, either way, the way you woke up the first time was better than this.
"mom, what time is it?"
"a little after 8."
you and mat groaned in unison. "you couldn't let us sleep in?"
"there are things that need to get done, sweetheart. do either of you have something to wear to the wedding?"
"mom, it's too early for this."
she sighed and probably rolled her eyes, something you would notice if you weren't too busy burying your head in the fabric of mat's shirt. in turn, he was burying his face in your hair.
"fine. you two can sleep the day away, but i expect the both of you for dinner tonight and to be dressed appropriately for the family dinner tomorrow." she left shortly thereafter.
"family dinner?" mat asked into your hair. "how is that different from regular dinner?"
"it's with the entire family, not just mine. you'll meet all my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents there."
"sounds like a lot."
"it is. they did this when my cousin andy got married two years ago."
mat hummed into the top of your head. "sounds exhausting."
"if you don't wanna see me for a month after this week is over, i wouldn't blame you."
he brought you closer to him, which you didn't think was possible considering you two were already pretty close. "i always wanna see you."
you smiled into his shirt, which you were pretty sure he could feel, but neither of you drew attention to it.
"we need to get up," you sighed, pushing away from him just a little.
"i'm already up."
on cue you felt something around your hip that had you squealing and falling out of bed laughing. "you absolute douche!" but it had no real bite since you were holding your stomach and rolling around on the floor laughing.
"what am i supposed to do when i wake up with a pretty girl pressed against me? ignore nature?"
you rolled your eyes and got up, searching through your bag for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "get dressed, asshole."
by the time you made it downstairs after taking care of your hair and brushing your teeth, your mother had set out a few granola bars for breakfast.
"i would've made eggs and waffles, but i'm already swamped with helping your aunt, i just didn't have the energy this morning."
"thanks, mom," you smiled and kissed her cheek once before grabbing a granola bar.
"do you know what you're wearing to angela's wedding?" she asked.
you nodded while you chewed your bar. "i brought that blue dress i wore to cody's graduation."
your mom's face twisted into disgust. "that old thing? honey, you can do better than that."
you waited until your mother turned around to roll your eyes only to catch mat coming down the stairs in a t-shirt and jeans.
god he looked so good it should be criminal.
but instead of fawning over him, you just threw a granola bar at his chest with he caught with an ease. "what're we doing today?"
"shopping apparently," you grumbled.
"oh don't give him attitude, honey. you should've packed something more appropriate to the wedding instead of that ratty dress you brought."
"it's not ratty!" you weren't sure why you were defending a dress you didn't care about, you'd only grabbed the first dress you saw in your closet. maybe it was the fact that she was so quick to dismiss something you chose to wear.
"that dress is years old, sweetheart. it's time for something new."
"thanks for the constructive criticism, mom. you never fail to give it at the best times," you deadpanned. you glanced back at mat who was stuffing the granola bar in his mouth. "you ready to go?"
he nodded, still chewing as you started walking towards the door.
"dad! i'm taking your car." you grabbed the keys, then mat's hand, and tugged him out the door.
neither of you spoke until you were already five minutes down the road.
"are you okay?" mat asked, eyes warily staring at your from the passenger seat. "you're gripping the wheel pretty tight."
you looked down at your own hands and eased up. "she just--" you groaned. "she always does this, criticizes me or what i wear. i know she means well, but it's irritating."
"for what it's worth, i liked the blue dress."
you gave him a small smile. "the problem isn't you, mat, it's not even the dress. if my mom thinks it's ratty, angela definitely will. and at the end of the day, i think that's what my mom is trying to save me from."
"why doesn't she just tell angela to mind her own business?"
"question of the year," you grumbled before pulling into the parking lot of a local boutique.
the two of you got out and headed inside, though mat looked a little out of place. "what's the dress code for this wedding anyway?"
"i'm sure if you brought a dress shirt and some slacks, you'll be fine."
you looked around, occasionally checking the dresses on the racks, but nothing caught your eye.
"can i help you find anything?" that voice nearly stopped you in your tracks, it was someone you hadn't thought about since you left for college.
you turned around and smiled at the woman in front of you. last time you saw her, you were standing in matching caps and gowns. you sat next to each other at graduation, and before that, you shared a few classes together. if it wasn't for the bright red hair and the comments your mom had made in the past about her staying in town, you never would've recognized her.
you hoped she wouldn't recognize you.
but she said your name in shock and smiled. "it's been so long!" she said. "back in town for angela's wedding?"
and really, you had no reason to dread this conversation, meredith was as nice as she was in high school. but you weren't sure if anyone was ever this happy to run into someone they knew from high school.
speaking of, you couldn't even remember why you weren't closer to her in high school.
"meredith, hi," you replied. "yes, i'm in town for her wedding. are you going?"
meredith nodded and smiled. "i'm actually her maid of honor."
of course she was.
that explained why you weren't close friends in high school.
"that's so exciting!" you smiled through a clenched jaw.
"i was shocked to hear you weren't in the bridal party though. is everything okay?" meredith sounded genuinely concerned, and while she was sweet, you never remembered her being very observant.
you shrugged. "we've grown apart since i moved away, it's water under the bridge."
meredith nodded until her gaze shifted to behind you were you assumed mat had just appeared. "who's this?"
"this is--"
"i'm mat," he held his hand out to shake. "her boyfriend."
meredith shakily grabbed his hand, you could see it tremble in his grip. "meredith," she practically swooned. a moment passed before she let go of his hand.
you had to keep from rolling your eyes. you were no stranger to mat's effect on women but it didn't make it any less obnoxious.
"we're looking for a dress for her to wear to the wedding," mat explained as his arm snaked around your waist. "i think she looks amazing in anything, but if you could find her something summery that matches her complexion, maybe a nice sundress, that would be very helpful."
you looked at mat like he'd grown a second and third head while meredith scrambled off to find something to fit his description. "are you okay?"
"why wouldn't i be?"
"you just listed of a theme of clothing without even batting an eyelash."
mat shrugged. "i was just being efficient. if you don't like what she picks out, we can always find something else or go somewhere else. but i thought the summery vibe would look nice with what i packed."
"and what did you pack? a white shirt and black slacks?"
"guess you'll have to find out in a few days," he quipped before lightly booping your nose.
meredith came back with an arm full of dresses and ushered the both of you back to the dressing rooms. she handed the articles of clothing to you and whisked herself away citing that she'd be around if you needed anything.
which was perfectly fine with you, it meant you didn't have an audience to trying on dresses.
"try the green one on first!" mat called as you shut the door behind you.
"you're not running the show here, barzal. as much as you would like to think otherwise."
you put the green one on first anyway.
you looked in the mirror, not sure if you liked the sleeves or the cut of the dress. was it too short for a wedding? it felt too casual.
"are you gonna show me? i'm assuming it doesn't take ten years for you to put on a dress, sweetheart," mat said.
"i'm not doing a fashion show for you, barzy."
"your boyfriend would like very much to see what you're getting, baby."
you rolled your eyes, mainly because he had a point. but amidst your irritation, hesitancy rose up but you didn't know why. mat had never given you a reason to be insecure, he was more than affirming about your place in his life and your appearance. you had no reason to be insecure, but yet it was rising up anyway.
still, you opened the door.
you poked your head out to see mat sitting on his phone until he heard the creak of the door. "well, let me see you!" he said.
you came out from behind the door as confidently as you could manage.
only for mat to let out a low whistle.
"oh shut up," you whined.
"you look good, baby," he smirked. "almost too good to wear out in public." you flushed under his scrutinizing stare that seemed to linger on some areas more than others and the nickname made heat slowly crawl up your neck.
"you're such a flatterer."
"just calling it like i see it, honey."
"will you quit it with the nicknames?" you covered your face with your hands.
"am i embarrassing you, baby?" he asked, voice much closer now. you didn't know why until you felt two hands on your waist.
"no."
mat pulled your hands down and smirked as he placed his palms back on your waist. "liar."
you rolled your eyes. "do you like the dress or not?"
"it's not about my opinion, do you like it?"
you all but stomped your foot in frustration. "mat," you whined. "what was the point of coming out here if you're just going to defer to my opinion?"
he shrugged like it wasn't bothering him to be that close to you; unlike you, whose heart was racing a mile a minute. "because i like to see dresses on pretty women, specifically you."
you shoved him away with a light push on his chest. the skirt of the dress bunching up a bit as his grip was pulled away.
"lemme see the next one!" he called as you walked back into the dressing room.
you tried on three more dresses, all of them garnering a similar reaction from mat, but none really feeling like the dress you should be wearing. none of them were nice enough to wear to the wedding without your mother, aunt, or angela saying something smart.
your hope was diminishing when you got to the final dress. it was plain in comparison to the others as far as beading and lace went, just a simple navy blue dress with a deep v and a small slit up to mid thigh. but you tried it on anyway.
"i don't know about this one, but i kinda like it. i wanted to know what you think," you said as you came out the dressing room.
mat looked up from his phone.
only for his jaw to drop.
you shifted your weight from foot to foot, back and forth, as you waited for a comment from him. mat, in all your time as friends, was never hesitant to share his opinion, but the longer he stayed silent, the more fearful you got that maybe this dress wasn't the one you should be wearing.
"do you not like it? i can--"
"no, you're getting it." he stood up and called meredith over who seemed to have been hovering just out of sight, like she was waiting for that exact moment. "she's getting this one, can you ring it up?"
meredith smiled but looked back and forth between you two. "of course, she'll have to take it off but--"
"mat, are you sure? i'm not even sure about this."
"baby," there he went, using another pet name. "you look fantastic, and even if you didn't, which you do, i took one look at your face and could tell you loved this dress. you're getting it." he said it so confidently you were inclined to believe him.
you started reaching for the tag on the dress. "how much is it--"
he ripped the tag off and handed it to meredith along with his card. "will you ring this up for us while she gets dressed, meredith?" he asked.
"mat, you don't have to pay--"
“let’s be honest, this is more for me than you." he said it so confidently, how could you possibly say no to him? "go get dressed," he said. "i'll be out here."
you quickly changed into your other clothes and grabbed the dress on your way out. mat quickly took the dress out of your hand and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. you didn't think anything of it until he pulled you in and placed a kiss on the side of your head.
you would've read into it had meredith not been in plain sight.
he must've done it to keep up the act.
meredith took the dress and wrapped it in a box that mat refused to let you carry, just like he refused to let you see the receipt. you told him that you'd just venmo him, but he ignored you all the way to the car.
preparation mode
your mom had ordered pizza for dinner which you and mat had taken up to your room. no one in your family batted an eyelash considering you both cited it as having a long day and wanting to unwind.
"so tell me about your family, the ones i haven't met yet," mat said through a mouth full of pizza.
you were currently wearing one of his t-shirts that you stole from his apartment a month ago and a pair of running shorts while you leaned back against the headboard. "well, there's my uncle mike, he's my mom's brother and the oldest in their family. for the most part he minds his business, he's on his fourth marriage and probably the last one because him and his wife don't even care to mask their indifference towards each other." you took a huge bite of your pizza and swallowed it before continuing. "then there's aunt patty who is angela's mom and she's about as nice as they come but also she's super passive aggressive and let's angela get away with everything."
"sounds like she's not actually nice, and you're just conditioned to think she is."
you rolled your eyes. "we don't have time to psychoanalyze my familial relationships, barzy."
"sure we do, if your aunt lets your bullying cousin get away with everything, then she's not actually nice."
"what does that make her then, smart ass?"
"a pawn." and he said it so lightly that you didn't even think about it for a moment. when you finally registered what he said, you furrowed your brows. so mat continued. "anyone who lets their child 'get away with everything' even when they're wrong is not a parent so much as they are a pawn in their child's game."
you blinked at him once. then a second time, wondering when your best friend had been replaced by your therapist.
"what?" he asked.
"i'm just trying to figure out what happened to my best friend. it's like you were replaced by dr. phil."
mat rolled his eyes. "i'm allowed to be wise on occasion."
"is it an occasion if it's never happened before?"
"what makes you say that?"
"i'm saying someone who gets hit in the face with a hockey stick or a puck every other game doesn't always have the best wisdom."
"but i do now! and that's what matters." he took another bite of pizza and hummed to himself.
"what?" you asked. "what was that hum about?"
"tell me about your other family members."
you explained how your cousin andrew (otherwise known as andy) was the oldest of angela's siblings and was married two years ago to his wife kelsey. they were distant from angela because she announced her engagement at kelsey's baby shower, but in true family fashion, that incident was pushed under the rug.
then there was thomas who was a year older than you and angela who had an affinity of sleeping around and generally not giving a shit about anyone or anything. he would say what he wanted when he wanted and for that reason, he was one of your favorite relatives. because, for the most part, he was the only one other than your grandmother who called angela out on her shit.
"what about your grandparents?"
you shrugged. "my grandfather died a few years ago and my grandmother is still around. she's honestly my favorite family member, though i'm sure that has nothing to do with me and cody being her favorites."
"oh i'm sure," mat said.
"and that's my mom's side of the family." you slapped your thighs and took a sip of your drink.
"what about you?"
you looked at him, confused at what he could possibly be talking about. "what about me?"
"you've told me about your family, tell me about you."
you scoffed. "mat, we're friends, what could you possibly want to know about me?"
he shrugged. "tell me something i wouldn't know. if you don't, i'm going to go downstairs and ask your mom to bring out the baby photos."
you rolled your eyes and sighed heavily, like it was some burden on you. "fine. when i was a kid, angela stuck bubble gum in my hair and i had to get a horrendous haircut. cody made fun of me until it grew out again."
"i bet you were still cute."
you got up from the bed and picked up a picture frame off your dresser. for some reason, your mother insisted on decorating your room with your worst moments, hence why your prom photo was hanging in the stair way. you handed the picture frame to mat who immediately smiled at your seven year old self smiling with two missing teeth and a shitty haircut.
"oh," he said.
"what?" you asked.
mat looked up with a huge smile on his face. "i definitely would've had a crush on you as a kid." you rolled your eyes and shoved him in the shoulder. "hey!" he protested. "i would've! you were cute!"
"shut up, you would not. i bet seven year old mat was the cutest boy in his grade and too worried about hockey to look at seven year old me."
"he might've been, i'd never know. but all i'm saying is if seven year old me knew seven year old you? he'd be in love. well, as much love as a seven year old can feel. in fact, i would've given you my favorite pokemon cards if you'd asked."
you could feel heat creeping up your neck at the idea, and how far it was from the truth. your classmates gave you hell for the way your hair looked, and it was such an odd and unbelievable story that no one took you seriously until the next school year when you grew your hair out.
"well, do you have a photo of you as a kid? it's not fair that you get unlimited access to all my childhood photos and i don't get to see you!"
mat rolled his eyes but pulled out his phone and scrolled through his camera roll. he flipped his phone around so you could see a photo of him in hockey gear with a big smile on his face. "aw mat," you cooed. "you were so cute."
"would you have had a crush on me?"
you thought about it for a moment. "i actually had a crush on this guy in my grade named frankie, so probably not."
mat's jaw dropped. "so my crush would go unrequited?"
"mat, honey, we didn't even live in the same country. this whole situation is hypothetical."
"tell me, did frankie play hockey?"
"what? no."
"was he funnier than me?"
"mat how am i supposed to know if second grade you was funnier than frankie?"
he shrugged. "i don't know. but was he?"
"he was the class clown."
mat groaned and fell back into your pillows. "seven year old mat is crushed. he stands no chance."
"honey, i cannot stress this enough, this is a hypothetical situation."
but all of a sudden, he stood up to his full height and walked towards you with the picture frame still in his hands. he placed the frame back on your dresser and closed the distance between the two of you. "what if it wasn't hypothetical?" he said, his tone shifted from playful to serious.
you locked his phone while you looked at him, to say you were confused would be an understatement. "what're you talking about?"
he shrugged and placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer until you hips touched and it was like electricity struck your nervous system. "what if--"
a knock on the door interrupted anything mat was going to say. the two of you jumped apart. "hope you two aren't naked!" cody's voice sounded through the wooden door. "we're having a movie night and mom made it clear that you two need to be downstairs in five minutes."
"we'll be right out!" you called, though your eyes were still locked on mat's.
he reluctantly let go of you as you cleared your throat. you didn't know what was different about air around you, how it felt tense and warm at the same time.
you headed downstairs with mat trailing behind you and sat on the couch next to each other. you weren't sure what changed, but when mat put his arm around you like he had done in the past, you fought every urge to tense up. what was going on with you?
when the movie was over, and it was time for all of you to go to bed, you and mat dressed in separate rooms. you were in bed by the time he returned and you were too busy controlling your breaths to notice his hesitancy.
he called your name quietly, but you squeezed your eyes shut and evened out your breathing. mat pushed a strand of hair behind your ear as he got in bed before he wrapped an arm around your waist pulled your back to his chest.
your heart beat against your ribs loud enough you were sure he could hear it. you weren't sure why, or what it was, not even your ex boyfriend had your heart beating like that, and it took you months to get over him.
when mat finally fell asleep, you relaxed, and pulled yourself gently and slowly out of his hold.
you placed a pillow between you two.
it was on the floor on mat's side the next morning.
the "big family" dinner
"is this appropriate enough to wear to dinner tonight?" mat came into the room wearing a plain white tee and black jeans with adidas.
it should be a sin to look that good in something so simple.
"if you were anyone else, i'd say no," you replied.
he blinked. "what does that mean?"
"i mean somehow you make really plain outfits look good."
he smirked. "you saying i look good?"
"oh please. like you don't know."
mat put both of his hands in his front pockets and leaned his shoulder against the wall. "maybe, but it sounds better coming from your mouth." you rolled your eyes and shoved him aside as you gathered your clothes in your hands. "what're you wearing?"
"a shirt and shorts." you walked into the bathroom across the hall to change into your outfit before going back in the bedroom to get your shoes.
mat let out a low whistle much like he did at the boutique. "is that my shirt?"
you looked down and saw the islanders logo on the front and shrugged. "must be."
"when did you grab this?"
"must've been during one of our sleepovers." you walked right out of the room and down the stairs to join the rest of your family. the six of you (your father, mother, brother, his girlfriend, mat, and you) would be riding in two separate cars. cody tried to convince your parents that mat should ride with them while you rode with him, but you quickly shot that idea down. you wouldn't say you were embarrassed of your parents, but you surely weren't going to leave mat to his own devices with them.
which is how you ended up sitting in the backseat of your dad's subaru with a foot of space between you and mat.
"mat, honey, tell us about your family! do you have any siblings?" your mother asked from the front seat she tried to give him earlier.
"you have longer legs!" she said.
"and my dad would literally punch me in the chest if i didn't let you sit shotgun," mat replied.
"i have a sister, her name's liana."
"oh, liana!" your mother gushed. "what a beautiful name! i should've named you that, honey!"
"mom," you whined. "you don't think it would be weird to have the same name as mat's sister?"
she hummed. "i guess, when you put it that way..." your mother shook her head. "how'd you get into hockey, mat?"
"mom, mat's gonna be interrogated all night long, can we save the questions for later?"
"baby, it's fine," mat assured you. your heart picked up just a little at the pet name but settled down when he turned his attention back to your mom. "i grew up playing it," he said. "my dad used to play as well."
it was like your mom fell in love with your boyfriend even more. "see honey? he continued a tradition that his father set for him!" you kept yourself from snarking back and rolling your eyes and just smiled. "i wanted my daughter to be a nurse like me," she explained to mat. "but she wasn't interested."
"mom, i can barely handle the sight of blood and you thought i would be okay in the icu?"
mat cackled. "you should see her when i have cuts and bruises from games, she pulls out gloves and about douses my wounds in peroxide."
"i'm not gonna get a blood borne disease because of you, barzal," you replied.
he rolled his eyes but smiled at you anyway.
you zoned out for the rest of the car ride as your aunt's house grew closer. mat, ever the observant friend, reached out and grabbed your hand in his, squeezing it three times until you looked at him.
"you okay?" he mouthed. when you finally nodded he sighed and brought your hands to his lips, kissing it once before placing your joined hands between the two of you. your heart soared at the gesture, but you looked back out the window before he could see it.
your father parked the car in front of a giant house you were all too familiar with. memories flashed before your eyes of summers spent swimming in the pool in the backyard and playing with toys in angela's room.
"be on your best behavior," your mom directed towards you with a knowing look in her eyes. you weren't sure why, you hadn't made a scene in years, though you were contemplating it if your mom kept harassing you.
you and mat slid out of the backseat and followed your parents to the front door. your mom didn't even bother knocking; she opened the door and left it open for the rest of you to follow. mat trailed behind you, grabbing your hand at the last minute before walking through the front door.
you were immediately accosted by a plethora of voices and music, unknowingly, you gripped mat's hand a little tighter as your aunt rounded the corner with a glass of champagne and a large smile. you saw as she greeted your parents with hugs, careful not to spill her drink. when her eyes focused on you, or rather the hand you were holding, there was a sense of smug satisfaction that occurred when you saw the poorly disguised shock on her face.
"hey!" she greeted. "i see you brought a friend."
before you could say anything, mat was taking his hand out of yours and shaking your aunt's hand. "i'm mat, the boyfriend."
aunt patty smiled and then looked at you, like she was evaluating something. "nice to meet you, mat," she said before bringing you into a hug and giving the same salutation she gave your parents. "angela will be excited to see you, both of you!" she said.
doubtful, you thought. very doubtful.
aunt patty ushered the both of you further into the house; mat's hand returned to holding yours until it was time to go outside in the backyard and join the rest of the family, then his hand moved to your lower back.
the two of you walked outside and watched as your family mingled in the backyard.
"who do we talk to first?" mat asked.
you shook your head. "no one. we go grab food first. my family is easier to handle with food."
mat nodded and followed your lead to the table with assorted finger foods on it. the two of you grabbed a plate full of food and found a table to sit.
it wasn't long before the table filled up with cody and his girlfriend who'd arrived moments after you did.
"did you give him the family run down?" cody asked before taking a bite out of one of his deviled eggs.
"this isn't amateur hour, cody. i spent the entire evening yesterday prepping him."
and a coffee date and plane ride dedicated to perfecting a fabricated story.
as if reminded that you two had appearances to keep up, mat reached back and draped his arm around the back of your chair and leaned back in his own. he looked so comfortable doing so you would've believed him to be genuine.
it wasn't long before your other family members came over, your grandmother to start. both you and mat stood to greet her. she wasted no time pulling you into a hug and kissing your cheek, holding your face between her hands and smiling.
"my, my, my, you've grown," she said.
"you say that every time you see me, grandma," you replied.
"and i mean it every time." her eyes dart to over your shoulder where you're positive mat is towering over you. "and who is this?" she asked, but it was clear by the smirk on her face that she already knew. the entire family probably knew given how much your mother liked to talk about your love life.
"i'm mat," he said and extended a hand out to shake.
your grandmother immediately let go of you and all but pushed you out of the way to hug mat who didn't even hesitate to embrace her back. when your grandmother pulled away she smiled and glanced back and forth between you and mat.
"so you're the gentleman who stole my baby's heart?"
mat gave your grandmother a megawatt smile. "no ma'am, you have it backwards. i just tricked her into dating me, still not sure how i accomplished it though."
your grandmother looked back at you and all but swooned. "you didn't tell me how handsome he was."
you blinked. you weren't sure what kind of magic ability mat had but the fact that you grandmother looked ready to become a cougar or push you down the aisle said something.
"didn't think he was your type, grandma."
she rolled her eyes but the smile on her lips said enough. "you and that attitude, girl, i've missed it. i hope she doesn't give you this much trouble, mat."
he only reached around your grandmother and tugged you into his chest. "oh this one? she usually gives me a run for my money," he said before placing a kiss on the top of your head.
your grandmother looked at you and smiled.
and just like that, he'd won over your grandmother's approval. it was a record for you, actually. even your best boyfriend had to meet her several times to win her over.
and mat did it in a matter of minutes.
really, it wasn't fair how charming he was.
"well," she said. "i'll let you two finish eating, i'm sure your cousin will make her way over here at some point." and on cue, your grandmother and you met eyes and shared an understanding. while your grandma loved angela, she, unlike your aunt, was not blind to the passive aggressive comments made by your cousin over the years.
mat pulled your chair out and pushed it in as you sat down before taking his place next to you. his hand immediately made its way onto your thigh, his thumb stroking the outside of your leg.
he leaned in and murmured in your ear. "that went well."
you swallowed the weird sensation in your throat that probably had nothing to do with his touch and proximity.
"a little too well if you ask me," you replied. "she likes you a lot more than my other boyfriends."
mat shrugged like that wasn't the highest praise you could give him. "to be fair, your exes have always been shit."
"they have not!"
cody chimed in from across the table. "they have." you glared at him but he seemed unfazed. "do you want me to tally the boys you've brought home?" but he didn't even give you a chance to answer before he started listing your exes on his fingers. "there was cole who skipped your birthday because it wasn't important. then there was conrad who had the weird relationship with his sister. then there was randall who wouldn't speak to you for days on end and then text you out of the blue."
you rolled your eyes. "those don't count, those were high school boyfriends."
cody deadpanned, though you both knew he skipped one particular boyfriend who happened to be the shittiest. "oh i can skip straight to college and post college if you'd like. you've given me plenty of material to work with." so he continued. "there was yohan who didn't have a bed frame, just a mattress on the floor."
"we were in college!"
mat chimed in. "a mattress on the floor is bad, babe. you can't excuse that."
you huffed and sat back in your chair as cody kept going.
"what about peter who refused to ever get your number and only communicated through snapchat? or lance who had the armpit fetish?"
mat nearly spit out his drink. "a what? what does that even mean?"
you groaned and put your head in your hands until a new voice chimed in.
"it means that she wore a lot of tank tops when they dated, per his request. isn't that right?"
you looked up and saw the rock on her hand before you ever saw her face.
"angela," you said and tried to smile, though the poorly masked snicker made by cody told you it probably looked more like a grimace. "hey, long time no see."
"alright, that's our cue, harper," cody mumbled before him and his girlfriend left the table.
she smiled and fixed her eyes on mat. "and who is this?"
mat, as if sensing the challenge she was presenting, moved his hand from your thigh to around your shoulder. unlike meeting your grandmother, he didn't stand up or offer a hand, he just nodded and smile. "i'm mat."
"and who is 'mat?'" she asked in what she believed was a charming way.
you had to keep yourself from rolling your eyes.
"i'm her boyfriend," mat said before placing a kiss on the side of your head. it was with premature smug satisfaction that you witnessed the smile on angela's lips falter just a little. but then you remembered the times before when you introduced boyfriends to family and how angela looked at them with some sort of predatory gleam in her eyes when met with a challenge.
and mat's indifference to her was the biggest challenge of all.
a tall blond man walked over and wrapped an arm around angela's waist. "baby," he said. "i got you a drink." and he handed her a flute of champagne.
she sipped it but never took her eyes off mat.
"who're you?" owen asked. you had to keep yourself from rolling your eyes. all those years ago, you thought his blunt ways of communicating were charming, now they just grated on your nerves.
"honey, this is mat, the infamous plus one."
"boyfriend," mat corrected. "simple mistake, i get it. it's not like the rsvp's asked for a relationship definition or anything."
"how long have you two been together?" owen asked.
"a few months," you answered in unison, which immediately made angela quirk a brow. you started sweating, your hands started shaking in your lap.
almost as if sensing your nerves, mat reached over with the hand that wasn't around you shoulders, and placed it on your thigh, rubbing smooth circles into your skin.
goosebumps formed on your skin, but for an entirely different reason that a cold breeze considering it was nearly sweltering outside.
"we've been friends for awhile though," mat said. "known each other for about as long as we've been in new york."
angela hummed, but didn't seem convinced. "okay," she smiled. "enjoy the party."
when she walked away with owen in tow, you let out a sigh.
"you okay?" mat mumbled.
"that went better than i thought."
"i thought you said she was mean," mat said.
"she typically is, maybe she's changed though. it's been a minute since i came home."
mat hummed, but maybe your earlier conversations convinced him of angela's normal behavior, because he didn't seem like he believed you.
"don't hum at me," you said. "she could!"
mat shrugged and leaned back in his chair, his hand squeezed your shoulder where it rested. "okay," he said before placing a kiss on your temple. "i trust you."
the night continued on without much incident. cody got a little too drunk, but that was to be expected. your uncle, his wife, and your cousins all came by and said their hellos, but for the most part, you and mat just stayed at the table and talked.
it was moments like that when you forgot how easy it was to just be with him. you couldn't count the amount of times you found yourself sitting on his couch with your head in his lap, his hand in your hair, as you ranted about your shitty day at work or a frustrating phone call with your parents. days like that were typical with mat, because he made it so easy to just be.
you felt most like yourself when you were with him.
and sure it sounded a little codependent, but you were almost positive he was your other half.
but not in a romantic way.
never in a romantic way.
after all, he was way out of your league. the amount times he had women approach him at bars when the two of you went out were astronomical.
you were forever the friend, and you weren't really all that upset about it. so long as you had mat, you'd take him in whatever capacity he'd give you.
the night was quickly coming to an end. harper had cody's arm wrapped around her shoulder, assuring everyone she would be driving them home. mat's hand had found a new home on the small of your back as he guided you out and back towards the front door, following your parents who insisted on hugging every family member goodbye.
you felt your body lean into mat's touch and the side of his body, your own feeling drained and exhausted.
"hey," he leaned down and mumbled in your ear. "i'm gonna go to the bathroom, i'll meet you at the car?"
you looked up at him, faces close together. you were taken back to earlier when you almost kissed and for a moment, you found yourself imagining a world where you could. where you could lean up and figure out what chapstick he used.
"yeah," you stuttered out when it was clear you'd stayed quiet too long.
"great," he smiled before kissing your cheek and disappearing down the hallway.
you were immediately crowded by your mom, aunt, and to your displeasure, angela.
your cousin stumbled up to you with a bright smile on her face as both of your mothers talked to each other. "your friend was cute," she said. "wouldn't mind running away with him." she giggled, but you saw the truth in her eyes, the calculated stumbles and fake drunken smiles.
"oh, angie's had too much to drink," your aunt said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "you know how drunk people can be."
"i've always heard drunk words are sober thoughts," you stated.
your mom scoffed and waved a hand in the air. "oh honey, that's just a saying, angela doesn't mean what she says, not while she's intoxicated. after all, i have done plenty of things while drunk that i didn't mean in the morning."
you squinted at your mother, completely baffled by her excusing of angela. which, after all these years, shouldn't surprise you.
"what'd i miss?" mat popped back next to you like he was summoned.
"oh nothing--" your mother started.
"mat!" angela screamed, throwing her hands up in the air before wrapping them around his shoulders. "if i wasn't getting married tomorrow, i'd run away with you! it's too bad my cousin here didn't introduce us before!"
mat peeled her arms off his body and pushed her away as gently as he could. "before what? before you stole her high school boyfriend?"
what.
the hell.
angela's smile dropped right as your mom's and aunt's eyes widened. "and i'm not a fan of running." he grabbed your hand and pulled you out the front door, and waved down harper who was about to pull out of the driveway.
"we rode with my parents," you said, still in a daze from what he said.
"we're riding with harper and cody back," was all he said.
harper unlocked the doors for you and mat but didn't even bother asking why the two of you decided to switch rides.
the drive back to your childhood home was pretty quiet save for the country music playing softly over the radio. it wasn't your favorite genre, but you weren't going to complain.
by the time you made it home, you were exhausted. mat trailed you up the stairs after locking the front door behind him because harper mentioned something about taking cody back to their apartment instead of staying.
when he finally walked in the room, you were already changing out of your shorts. maybe it was a testament to how tired you were, or how long you had known each other that made you not give a shit about changing in front of him. you did, however, try to stay decent, so you waited until you had your pajama shirt on to remove your bra before sliding into bed.
mat had apparently walked out of the room to change while you had your back to the door because he came walking back in wearing basketball shorts and a tee shirt, like he did the other nights.
"you okay?" he asked, getting in to bed and sliding next to you. he bumped his shoulder with yours.
"why wouldn't i be?" but you wouldn't look him in the eyes.
"c'mon," he said. "you can be honest with me. i'm your best friend."
your eyes watered at his words, the ones he spoke in front of your family, and the ones he spoke just then. "thank you," was all you could get out.
he pulled you into his arms and for a moment, you were taken back to similar circumstances.
like when you watched marley and me. or when your neighbor with the cute dog moved away.
mat had always been there.
"what're you thanking me for?"
"no one's ever stood up to her like that."
mat scoffed. "i wasn't just gonna let her disrespect our relationship like that, real or fake." he kissed the top of your head. "i almost didn't say anything, wanted to keep the peace, but then i saw the look on your face and couldn't keep quiet."
"what look?"
"the kicked puppy look." you looked up at him as his thumb stroked a line on your cheek. something must've passed over your face because his thumb stopped its motion. "what?" you sighed and shook your head. "c'mon," he said. "you can tell me."
you sighed. "i just--i don't want her to take you away."
mat tilted your chin up and ducked his head down so your foreheads touched. "you're not gonna lose me, especially not to your cousin, okay?" you nodded. "i need to hear you say it, baby."
but how could you talk when he called you by pet names? how could you breathe when you could kiss him if you just lifted your chin.
damn.
did he know the effect he had on you?
"baby," he prompted.
"okay," you said. "i trust you."
"and that's all i ask." he kissed your forehead and pulled away, all too soon if anyone asked you. "now, let's watch a movie, i need to destress after tonight."
you settled into the pillows and laid your head on mat's chest as he scrolled through netflix with one hand; the other arm was wrapped around your back.
the wedding
the next two days were spent with you and mat walking around the city, nothing noteworthy happened.
but you woke up on the day of the wedding dreading what was to come.
the ceremony itself wasn't until that night, which gave you the entire day to worry about angela and mat.
his words should've comforted you, but you were too caught up in why you cared. he was your best friend, angela didn't want him that way. and mat was too loyal to let a girl come between your friendship, he never let it happen with his previous girlfriends.
but there would be times when you wouldn't be together that night. could you honestly expect mat to hang around the women's bathroom every time you needed to use it? you were lucky he got along with your brother and your grandmother as well as he did, but your grandmother would definitely leave early and cody would definitely ditch anyone in a heartbeat if it meant he'd get laid.
"you okay?" mat asked, placing his hands on your shoulders as you stared in the bathroom mirror. "you've been in here a minute. at first i thought you were taking a shit, but you left the door open." he rested his head on top of yours and made eye contact with you in the mirror.
"just stressed about tonight," you admitted.
"you got nothing to stress over, you got me, and we're not getting married. we'll just get drunk and party. sounds like a great time to me!"
"god, if i'm like this at someone else's wedding, i can't imagine what i'd be like at my own."
mat shrugged. "i wouldn't let you be stressed. i’d make sure to give you the wedding you want."
you pulled away and turned around, brows pulled together like attracting magnets. "wouldn’t that be weird though? you making sure my wedding was what i wanted?"
"considering it would be my wedding too, no i don't think it would be weird." he shrugged and said it so casually, you almost didn't register what he said. but when it sunk in, your cheeks heated up and you broke eye contact before lightly shoving him away.
"you're such a flirt," you said, hoping it wouldn't give away the way your heart raced in your chest.
"doesn't mean it isn't true!" he called after you. mat flicked on the fan and shut the door. "now watch a movie, i don't want you to hear me shit."
"we're not even in the same room, dipshit!" you laughed before heading back to your room and turning on netflix.
mat joined you after about ten minutes in the bathroom and the two of you watched a movie until your parents shouted from downstairs to start getting ready.
you got ready in the bathroom simply because that was where you makeup was. mat took the bedroom simply because it was easier. you put on your dress, fluffing out the ends to make sure no part of it was wrinkled before you started on your makeup.
you were finished rather quickly, mainly because mat kept calling your name like a child, waiting for you to fix his tie because he didn't know how to.
when you walked out of the bathroom, though, mat met you in the hallway. his eyes were focused on the tie in his hands until he heard the door open. he glanced up and his jaw dropped.
"fuck," he mumbled.
you could feel the heat going up your chest and your neck until it settled in your face. "do i look okay?"
mat swallowed and nodded. your normally chatty best friend was rendered speechless for the first time since you met him. he cleared his throat and gestured to you. "i knew buying that dress was a good move."
you rolled your eyes and smiled as you walked over to him. you took the tie out of his hand and wrapped it around his neck, tying a windsor knot until it was snug against his throat.
"i think you're trying to choke me."
you scoffed. "if you learned how to tie a tie, this wouldn't be a problem."
"if i learned how to tie a tie, i wouldn't have an excuse to be this close to you." his hands snaked around your waist and pulled your hips close to his.
"you should know you don't need an excuse to get close to me." you tried out the flirtation a little, unsure if he was joking or not, but given how his eyes lit up just a bit, you were pretty confident he was serious.
"baby--"
"sweetheart! we need to be leaving soon!" your mother called up the stairs.
you and mat sprung apart like the other had spontaneously caught on fire. neither of you would make eye contact too embarrassed to have been interrupted by your mother. though you couldn't meet each other's eyes, you managed to see mat gesture for you to go down the stairs first.
"you both look so cute!" your mother gushed as both you and mat entered the living room. "go stand in front of the fireplace! i have to get your picture."
you rolled your eyes. "mom, this isn't prom night." but mat was already tugging you over to where your mom was pointing and wrapping and arm around your waist.
your mom snapped a few pictures before hurrying the two of you and your father out the door. the wedding didn't start for another hour, but the venue was thirty minutes away and your mom wanted to make sure your aunt wasn't going to have an aneurysm.
mat held your hand as you walked down the front porch stairs towards the car. his grip was tight and firm. when you finally joined him on the sidewalk, you expected him to drop his hand, but he held onto it even tighter, lightly swinging it between your bodies.
he didn't let go until you got into the back seat of your mom's car.
he lightly chatted with your parents while you stared at the space between the two of you. the entire week had your mind whirling, you two were just friends, but sharing a bed, the physical closeness, the flirting, the near kisses, it was all driving you insane.
sure, you thought mat was good looking, but you'd long given up the hope that he'd ever like you. he was mat and you were you. even if there wasn't a large disparity between your perception of both of your physical attributes, you still would've felt the divide.
he was everything, practically your best friend.
and that alone was too important for you to risk on some juvenile feelings.
mat nudged you with his elbow. "you okay? you've been quiet."
you blinked back into the present, noting that your mother had turned on abba and was singing to dancing queen while your father hummed the tune under his breath. both of them were too distracted to notice or hear mat's question.
you nodded, meeting his eyes briefly before looking away, too scared to get caught in their orbit once more. "yeah," you said. "just thinking."
"uh oh. that's not good," he joked. but you didn't laugh. his face turned serious and he nudged you once more before grabbing your hand in his own. "you can tell me anything, you know that right?"
"of course," you replied.
he squeezed your hand twice and didn't let go until you got out of the car.
as your father pulled into the parking lot, you got a good view of the venue. a large building with tall windows and music blasting throughout the open doors.
once you got inside, your eyes were immediately overwhelmed by the visual stimulation of large flower arrangements everywhere with the most pricey looking lighting fixtures dangling from the ceiling.
it was extravagant, and everything you would've expected angela's wedding to look like.
"oh god," mat mumbled under his breath, loud enough just for you to hear. he leaned down, placing his hand on the small of your back. "remind me not to do this much at my wedding."
you rolled your eyes. "what if it's what your bride wants?"
he paused. "do you want something like this?"
"god no."
"then i don't need to worry."
you lightly shoved his shoulder. "quit joking."
"who said i was joking?" he asked.
you stared at him until your dad cleared his throat and reminded the two of you that you still needed to find your seats at the ceremony.
"honey," your mother grabbed your arm. "do you want to come with me to see angela? i'm just gonna check on her and your aunt to make sure everything is ready and together."
you were shaking your head before she could even finish getting the words out. "nope."
"honey, it's your cousin's wedding."
"and she didn't even make me a bridesmaid. i'm sure she'll be fine waiting until the reception to see me."
"i thought you weren't angry about that! i told you not to take it personal."
it took every ounce of will not to roll your eyes. mainly because mat was standing there, and if you let it slip how frustrated you were, he might step in and make your mom hate him. "i don't care, mom. but if she wanted me to see her before the wedding, she would've made her part of her bridal party. but she didn't so i'll see her when she walks down the aisle." with that off your chest, you grabbed mat's hand and marched towards the group of chairs where the ceremony would take place.
you quickly chose a seat close enough to see the actual ceremony happen without being too close that you could see angela promise her life away to the ex she stole from you.
"that was intense," mat commented. "you sure you're okay?"
you sighed and contemplated putting your face in your hands if it wasn't for the makeup you put on earlier. "i don't know why she wants me and angela to act like we're best friends, it's gone on like this for our entire lives, but it's never worked. angela has never liked me, and i'm tired of pretending like it's my fault. i don't even know what i did to make her constantly try to undermine me."
mat looked around before grabbing your hand and tugging you towards what you guessed were the bathrooms, away from the prying eyes of nosy guests.
"it's not your fault," he said, bending down so you could look each other in the eyes. "there's nothing wrong with you, either, okay? she's blind if she can't see how amazing you are. and your mom is wrong for trying to force a friendship. you understand?"
you nodded.
"i need to hear you say it, baby."
"i understand." a beat later. "thanks, mat."
he kissed your forehead and grabbed your hand. "anytime."
the two of you found your old seats taken by an older couple, so you sat in the same row as cody and harper who had shown up while you were gone.
the wedding started shortly thereafter with your parents joining you in the same row. your mother looked relatively calm for what you knew had to be a shitshow in the back room. angela was very particular, and while there was nothing wrong with that were it anyone else, your cousin's strong opinions often stressed your mother and aunt out.
the music started playing and the bridesmaids started walking down the aisle with the groomsmen and owen. you didn't recognize most of the girls, probably because you hadn't been around angela's friends since high school and you never came to her birthday parties after you graduated (not that she invited you anyway). the one bridesmaid you did recognize was meredith from the dress shop. she looked beautiful in her lilac dress. and her smile did nothing to giveaway what chaos the dressing room was in before she walked out.
with everyone in their places at the front, the music changed tune. every guest, including you, stood to their feet and turned around. everyone watched as the double doors opened and angela came walking down the aisle in a princess gown with her father escorting her.
she smiled brightly, probably basking in the attention she was receiving. she didn't even look at owen until she got close enough to the front that there was no one else for her to smile at.
i'd do it differently, you thought. when i get married, i won't be able to take my eyes off his face.
the officiant told everyone to sit and continued on with the ceremony. you mostly blocked it out, peering at mat who looked more interested in the ceremony than you were. he caught your stare a few times and smirked before grabbing hold of your hand and kissing the back of it.
and your heart soared every time.
mat was an affectionate friend, this much you knew. anytime you picked him up from a roadie, or when he came over after you just got back into town, he'd hold you in a death grip hug for five minutes at the very least. most of the hugs involved the two of you swaying side to side with mat mumbling how much he missed you into your neck.
all that to say, you weren't a stranger to his affection.
you were, however, unused to the kisses and pet names, all of which started as soon as you introduced him to your family.
it was the crowd cheering that startled you out of your stupor. you glanced at the front to see owen dipping angela in a kiss while the photographer captured the moment.
and maybe it was the bitterness in your chest speaking for the teenager who lost her first serious boyfriend, but the kiss itself looked more performative than like true love.
mat extended a hand to you when you realized everyone was standing and heading to the tables to eat.
"you alright?" he asked once your hand was secured in his own. "you keep zoning out."
you shrugged. "just thinking."
"about?"
"how do you know if you love someone?" you asked, replaying angela and owen's kiss in your mind. you were so preoccupied, you didn't notice mat scratching the back of his head and blushing.
"well, you uh," he stuttered. "why're you asking me? haven't you been in love before?"
he wouldn't meet your eyes, his own kept focusing on avoiding bumping into people as you made your way to an open table. mat pulled your chair out and didn't sit down until you did.
"i don't know," you continued on. "i thought i was, but i never saw forever with those guys."
"thank god," he mumbled.
"what?"
he looked up all doe eyed and innocent. "hm?"
"what did you say?"
he shrugged. "i didn't say anything. you must be hearing things."
you rolled your eyes, but the smile on your lips said you weren't really bothered by his lies.
cody and harper joined you at the table; your parents took the last two seats. all six of you sipped at the water on the table and waited for your dinners to be ready.
"so," harper started. "what did everyone think of the ceremony?"
you could've groaned, not because you weren't interested in weddings, you loved them.
just not angela's.
and talking about all the beautiful aspects of it sounded like a violation of your eighth amendment rights.
"oh it was so gorgeous, she looked fantastic," your mother supplied, fawning over your cousin as usual. but it was when she looked around the room before she leaned into the table that your attention was piqued. "patty was scared the wedding would need to be called off. said something about how owen was getting cold feet, she wouldn't say why though."
were you a horrible person for internally rejoicing at angela's possible stressor?
maybe just a little.
but you'd taken the high road your entire life. so in your opinion, it was warranted and earned.
mat nudged your knee with his. "at least look concerned," he mumbled with a smirk playing on his lips.
"i do! i am!" you said just loud enough for him to hear. mat looked at you until you cracked under his gaze. "okay, so i might be just a little smug, sue me."
he rolled his eyes, but the smile playing on his lips said he was far from annoyed.
your family continued to make idle chatter until the dj started announcing the bridal party. it wasn't anything that hadn't been done before; the bridesmaids and groomsmen danced their way into the room. moments later, angela and owen came in with their hands riased and cheering along with everyone else. your entire table joined in with the other guests and clapped and hollered until it was no longer socially acceptable.
dinner came out shortly thereafter.
again, it was nothing that hadn't been done before. a simple pasta dish with a side salad wasn't anything to celebrate. the food was absolutely delicious, you wouldn't lie about that, it was just interesting that angela, who prided herself on being different, had planned a party that didn't even crack your top ten favorite weddings.
but she'd never sought your approval anyway, so why would she start now?
you were shocked out of your intense thoughtfulness by an arm wrapping around your shoulder. mat didn't even look phased as he pulled you just a little closer to him, talking with your dad about the upcoming season like they'd been friends for ages.
the weight of his arm was comforting, reminding you of times he'd slung it across your shoulders after a game and pressed a kiss to your temple or when you sat next to each other at bars.
others had looked at your relationship with a microscope. sydney and grace both had asked multiple times if there was something more with the two of you and looked skeptical whenever you gave them a funny look while saying no.
he was your best friend, always would be so long as you never fucked anything up.
"how's your pasta?" mat asked.
you blinked. "same as yours."
he rolled his eyes yet again and kissed your temple. "smart ass," he mumbled against your skin.
dinner was barely over when music started playing, marking the sign of the first dance. angela and owen danced to "can't help falling in love" while everyone looked on. they didn't talk, they seldom even smiled until, like they were suddenly struck by electricity, they remembered they were being photographed and had all eyes on them.
you bided your time, sipping the water in your glass, because you knew mat was gonna drag your ass onto the dance floor like he had before at other parties and weddings.
sure enough, as soon as the song ended and the party music started, mat's hand was in yours, tugging you towards the center of the floor.
you dragged your feet as a front, just wanting to prolong the feeling of his palm encircling your own. you didn't know the name of the song, just like you didn't understand the light feeling in your stomach when mat pulled you close and placed his hands on your waist.
"in case i forgot to tell you," he shouted into your ear over the pumping music. "you look really pretty tonight."
you could feel the heat crawl up your neck. you ducked your head so you couldn't see him, but he pulled your chin up to look him in the eyes.
"don't get shy on me now," he teased, though his eyes weren't full of mirth like they usually were. they were soft, like sunlight filtered through a bedroom window. "come dance with me."
the two of you danced, hips shaking and moving to the beat of the music. mat always had a grip on you, whether he was twirling you around or had both hands on your hips.
you couldn't remember ever having this much fun at a wedding.
who would've thought it would've been angela's wedding?
but the music slowed down, usually signaling that it was your time to sit back down until hey ya! came on. so you made a move to step off the dance floor and head back to where your brother sat nursing a glass of bourbon, but it was a callused hand that kept you in place.
"where do you think you're going, baby?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips. "you owe me a dance."
you hesitated, knowing that in the past, you'd danced the night away, but with him here, in front of your family, with your grandmother giving you a smile, you didn't know you could fake it any longer. you couldn't keep pretending that you weren't completely infatuated, overcome with love for your best friend.
your hand would've started shaking had he not had a steady grip on you.
mat pulled you close. "c'mon, i won't even step on your toes. i promise."
you relented and let him pull you back into the middle of the floor. he placed his hands on your waist and, for a moment, you thought you were dreaming. in another life, you'd be wearing white and be the prettiest person in the room. in another life, you'd have matching gold bands on your fourth fingers.
in another life, he'd be yours.
you wrapped your hands around the back on his neck, playing with the hair there absentmindedly.
"you're far away," he said. "come back to earth for a minute. what're you thinking about?"
you shrugged. "wondering if i'll ever get this," you answered honestly, even going as far as looking him in the eyes as you spoke.
"you'll get it," he said without a doubt in the world to be found. "i'll make sure of it."
"what about you? do you want something like this?"
he glanced around the room, eyes landing on the newly married couple in the center. "not if i'm not marrying you."
you blinked, heart in your throat. he looked so honest, but you'd known him long enough, seen who he's dated too many times, to know he was joking.
he had to be.
right?
so you laughed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back so that you unintentionally missed the small look of confusion married with hurt on mat's face. you did it to protect yourself, to keep yourself from getting hurt, and unintentionally hurting him in the process.
"i can never tell when you're joking, barzy," you smiled, hoping it covered the shake in your voice.
"but i--"
"may i cut in?" you glanced to your left and saw your smiling grandmother.
"oh i--" mat stuttered, flustered in a way you'd never seen before.
"sure!" you interrupted his train of thought. "i have to pee anyway."
besides, mat was probably safest with her anyway. angela wouldn't try anything while your grandmother was standing there.
you stepped away, waist feeling cold from the lack of contact and made your way towards the bathrooms.
it wasn't that hard to find the restroom, it was just a longer hallway. but it was far enough from the reception that the music was only a faint bass noise.
you walked into the bathroom and did your business. fluffing your hair and fixing your dress in the mirror when you'd finished washing your hands. you opened the door and saw shiny black shoes before you saw the man standing across from the woman's bathroom.
"owen?" you asked. "the men's bathroom is a little further down the hall."
"i know," he said, pushing off the wall to move closer to you.
red flag.
"what?" you asked, moving slightly out of the way so he couldn't push you back into the bathroom. "have you been drinking?"
"sober as a judge."
you furrowed your brows. "what?"
he took another step closer to you while you quickly turned so your back was no longer against a wall, but towards the party. if he kept advancing towards you, the weird tension would soon be out in the open and surely he would stop then.
right?
"i'm sorry for what i did back in high school."
"owen, what are you talking about?"
"for cheating on you. you're all i've ever wanted and it's my biggest regret to this day that i ever let you go."
you were gonna be sick.
"owen, you don't know what you're talking about. you love angela. you got married to angela. she is your wife."
"but i want you." he reached out to touch your hair but you backed up quick enough to just miss his hand.
"no you don't," you said. "you decided i wasn't enough nearly ten years ago."
"but you looked so good and so happy with him, with max or whatever his name is--"
"--mat--"you corrected.
"--it made me miss us. don't you miss me?"
"i don't even know who you are anymore, owen! that person you knew in high school isn't me anymore, and you don't get to decide you want me now just because i'm happy and you aren't."
"we were so good together!"
"we were sixteen, owen! we were children."
"but--"
"i gave you just about everything i could possibly give, and you decided it wasn't enough. you decided to get with my cousin while we were dating instead of breaking up with me. you decided to marry her. and now you get to live with that decision." you spun on your heel and were met with mat's stare. even in the dim lighting, you could see his jaw clenched.
"mat," you breathed like it was your last breath.
"you okay?" he asked.
"yeah," you said. "just telling owen where the bathroom was."
you both knew it was a lie, especially if the look on mat's face was any indication, he'd probably heard enough of the conversation. you allowed yourself to be guided back to the recpetion with mat's hand firmly placed on the small of your back.
you two kept dancing until it was time to send angela and owen off. while mat gathered your things, you said goodbye to your extended family members because you two were leaving tomorrow afternoon to head back to new york.
which scared you.
this last week had been amazing. pretending and playing house with mat meant unlocking feelings you'd pretended didn't exist for the entire duration of your friendship. and while you wished you'd never unlocked pandora's box, part of you was happy you could never go back.
a warm and weathered hand tugged on your forearm and snapped you out of your reverie. "don't let that boy go." when you looked down, your grandmother was staring at you with earnest eyes. "he loves you the way you deserve to be loved."
your eyes welled up with tears as you hugged her. "thanks, grandma."
"i mean it. don't come back without him, you hear me? i need great grand babies soon."
you flushed at the idea and whined. "please don't tell me you said that to him!"
but she didn't answer you, she just laughed.
"you ready?" mat asked, walking over with your brother and harper following closely behind. "cody said he'd give us a ride home."
"treat my baby right, mathew," your grandmother said. "or else i'll have to fly to new york and kill you, you hear?"
he smiled. "yes ma'am."
you hugged your grandmother tight. "i love you."
"love you more."
mat ushered you outside, following behind cody and harper to their car. none of you were interested in the send off, even if was only going to take a few seconds.
the four of you got into cody's car and drove off before your parents could admonish you for leaving early. cody and harper talked amongst themselves about bills and what their own wedding would look like whenever cody proposed (and if you knew him like you thought you did, it would be soon) while you and mat just held hands in the backseat.
it was weird, the physical touch even when no one was looking. but you weren't complaining about it, if anything, you were clinging to it, scared that once it finally ended you'd go into withdrawal.
cody parked outside of your parents house and let you and mat in before driving off. you headed upstairs, with mat on your tail, ready to get undressed and to curl up in bed with a stupid movie.
"that was fun," mat said. "did you have fun?"
you sat down on your bed and started taking off your shoes. "i always have fun when i'm with you," you said absentmindedly. a moment of silence passed. you looked up to see mat shifting from side to side. "are you okay?"
"what did owen want?" he asked honestly.
you sighed and stood up, walking towards him. "i'm not even sure. he started professing how much he missed me, but i shut it down because i don't have feelings for him."
a glimmer of hope. "you don't?"
"nope."
he nodded. "good."
you took a deep breath and stepped closer to him. "i could never go through with it anyway, i'm in love with someone else." please please please don't let this past week be a joke to him. please let him be a horrible actor.
he stared at you.
a moment of silence.
his eyes searched your own, like they were looking for something.
you could feel the tears well up in your eyes at the thought of his rejection. you'd take being heartbroken, but you couldn't take losing your best friend.
and then.
his hands were on your cheeks, his lips were on yours, and your heart had jumped into your throat. your arms wrapped around his neck and into his hair.
when you finally broke apart for air, mat was smiling. "i'm guessing you were talking about me?" he asked, though the smug tone in his voice said he didn't actually need to know the answer. not when the kiss had already confirmed his suspicions.
"you're such an ass," you jokingly shoved him away, but he caught your hand and used it to pull you back in, to kiss you once more.
"but this ass loves you." he paused. "that sounded a lot more romantic in my head than it did coming out."
but you smiled anyway. "this ass loves you too, barzy."
and two years later, standing in front of everyone in a white dress, you couldn't help but smile. lying usually got you in trouble, but you couldn't have imagined a better ending.
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