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#this song just hit me out of nowhere yet again :
cameronspecial · 19 days
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At Her Beck And Call
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Swearing and Assault
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.8K
Summary: Rafe may be out doing business, but he is never too busy for Y/N.
Masterlist
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Everyone in the Outer Banks knows about Rafe’s explosive personality, especially towards the Pogues. The only person who is never at the wrong end of his anger is Y/N. He would never dare risk losing her by unleashing his anger on her. At the moment, she is safely at home, resting with their darling baby girl growing inside of her stomach. He is finishing up collecting the money from people who owe him from his drug dealer days. When he started dating Y/N, he stopped dealing less often; however, with a baby on the way, Rafe is ready to hang up the towel completely. Therefore, it is time for him to gather all the debts obligated to him. He finally tracks down the last person, Tanner Barrois. The Pogue is hiding out at a friend’s house but for enough money, anyone can betray their friend. Rafe bangs on the door as loud as he can and steps away from it. “What the fuck do you wan-” Tanner complains as he opens the door. Rafe gives him a wicked grin, “I want my fucking money, Asshole.” Tanner backs up into the house with his hands in the air. “I don’t have your money, but I can get it to you. I-I just need a few weeks,” he offers. Rafe shakes his head, “No, I already gave you three months. So where is my money?”
“I don’t have it!” 
Rafe grips the front of Tanner’s shirt and slams him against the wall. His arm cocks, rushing towards Tanner’s nose at a fast pace. The room is silent, except for the sounds of Rafe’s fist hitting Tanner, until “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran begins to play out of nowhere. Something vibrating accompanies the song. Rafe keeps Tanner against the wall with one hand, while his other hand goes into his pocket for his phone. He brings it to his ear with a soft smile, “Hi, Dumpling. How are you and little dumpling doing?” “I’m hungry, Rafey,” the pregnant woman whines with her hands on her perturbing stomach. He chuckles, “And what can I pick up for you on my way home, Dumpling?” “I want Trader Joe’s French Vanilla ice cream, soya sauce, pickles and mayo please,” she pleads into the phone. He grimaces, “Please, tell me you aren’t going to eat all of those together.” “I don’t know yet. I guess you’ll have to find out when you get here,” she teases, knowing he gets grossed out by her weird pregnancy cravings. He sighs, “I guess I will. I’ll get those for you once I’m finished with my business. Okay? I love you.” “Thank you. I love you too. Bye,” she hangs up without another word. 
The phone gets slipped back into his pocket and his attention returns to Tanner. “Now, where were we?” He punches Tanner again, shaking his hand out to try to rid himself of the blood. “I’m going to ask you again. Where is my money?” Rafe growls. Tanner whimpers, “I can get it to you by next week.” Tanner receives another blow to the head. “Not the answer I was looking for. So let’s try this once more,” Rafe warns, but he is again interrupted by the chime of his phone. “Is everything okay, Dumpling?” he worries into the speaker.
“It needs to be the tiny pickles. I don’t want the large ones. I don’t want the zig-zag cut ones or the straight-cut ones. I want the tiny ones. Okay?”
“Yes, I know, Dumpling. I promise they will be the tiniest ones I can find.” 
“Good, thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dumpling. Goodbye.”
Tanner’s face is in a bloody smirk. “What the fuck are you smiling at?” Rafe questions, digging his forearm into the Pogue's neck. Tanner gasps out, “You are so whipped for her.” Rafe’s eyebrows cave in and he strikes Tanner’s stomach. “Be careful what you say next, Motherfucker,” Rafe alerts. Tanner appears to have a death wish as he says the next sentence, “That bitch has your balls in a death grip and it’s pathetic.” His phone rings once more before he can reply. “Dumpling, you are really making me concerned about you,” he sighs into the phone. She pouts, “I’m sorry. I just wanted something to drink too.” “It’s okay, Dumpling. I want you to stay hydrated. So what can I get you?” he inquires. “Iced tea, please. And I promise this will be the last time I’m going to call. I’m going to take a nap while I wait for you to come home.”
“Iced tea, coming right up. Enjoy your nap, Dumpling. I’ll see you when I get home. I love you.”
“I love you so much, Rafey. Thank you. I can’t wait for you to come home. Muah.”
The line goes dead and he can’t help but put his phone away with a massive grin on his face. He weakens his hold on Tanner, “You better be thanking the lord that I am whipped for my girl because it is the only reason I am giving you another day to get the money. Don’t try to run because I will find you and your punishment will be so much worse than you can imagine. Now, if you would excuse me, I have to go to Trader’s Joe.”
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming
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thatfreshi · 7 months
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Can I request an Astarion x reader fic where the reader keeps getting hit on/cat called by random people, and she brushes it off at first but it slowly becomes evident that it really bothers her, and needs someone to intervene or comfort her?
TW - Sexual harassment, threat of kidnapping
Recommended Song: Used - SZA FT. Don Toliver
Ah taverns, such wondrous places of inebriation and sloppy people of all creeds. You and Astarion are party people, despite his introverted nature. It's more about being two people thriving in chaos, playing the other patrons like pawns to make the night exciting, flirting with a stranger to snatch their drink from the bar, and all of those morally grey things. Sure, maybe it's not ethical to steal, but it sure is fun.
It's not a secret that you are two of the most good-looking regulars, but it's also well-known that you're severely monogamous. In fact, it's gotten very close to voyeurism multiple times, which has gotten you kicked out of a couple places. You don't mind public displays of affection, even if they're a little far gone at times. All of that to say, it's hard not to notice when you arrive.
Ever since the death of Cazador, you've been living in luxury. Despite rejecting ascension, Astarion didn't mind getting his hands all over the stockpile of gold and jewels the Szarrs had at their estate. After all, you'd say he deserves it. It's almost like being nobility, adorned in gorgeous clothing amongst the common people, and yet you fit in quite well. This rich adornment came with tight-fitting gowns, gorgeous lace pieces, corsets of the highest quality. Those also didn't go unnoticed, but this night in particular some people crossed the line.
You and Astarion brought your own bottle of wine to start the evening, something to get you loose enough to put up with whatever was on tap. Occasionally you'd befriend some strangers, just for the evening. Astarion had a bad habit of making jokes about his vampirism, so you often avoided speaking to the same people again in case they'd look past his sarcasm.
This night in particular you'd come across quite the fun group, and you'd kindly shared some of your wine with them, which was a most rare occurrence. Soon enough you ran out, and Astarion offered to grab something else for the table.
"I'll be right back darling."
He has a habit of disappearing in most circles, but he's always nearby when it comes to you, especially in a place like this. Of course he's protective of you, all you truly have is each other. He'll walk to the bar and purchase a new bottle, keeping eyes, or at least ears on you the entire time he's away. Perks of loving an elf, as his heightened senses have come in handy multiple times.
"Well, that man of yours certainly is something."
A human man comments from across the table, taking a sip of your fancy wine.
"I know."
You smirk, taking a sip of your drink.
"I can't imagine he's all that in the bedroom though."
You almost spit out your wine, surprised by the audacity of this complete stranger.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?"
"Just someone who thinks you could do better."
"And what makes you say that?"
"Well, I could bed you for a change."
You almost want to throw up at how bold this man is being. Instead of dragging the conversation on any further, you grab your drink and go to stand up, trying to eye Astarion from across the room. The tavern was awfully busy, far more than usual. After realizing he was nowhere in sight, you move to make your way to the bar. Suddenly, there's a hand in your hair, yanking you back.
"Well that's no way to treat a nice young man, now is it?"
This human snarls in your ear. No one seems to notice the situation, as the crowd is bustling. It's not often you get scared of random tavern goers, but this man is far more handsy than others.
"Unhand me."
You go to grab for the knife hidden under the slit of your dress, realizing you forgot to grab it on the way out. Of course, tonight of all nights. Realizing you were trying to grab for a weapon, the human twists your wrist behind your back, making you yelp in pain.
Astarion had a hard time hearing that night because of all the overlapping conversation, but that sound was all he needed for his ears to perk up and for him to abandon his drink mission. He has a keen sense for knowing when you're in danger.
"Adorable, you think you're that strong huh?"
He goes to feel where you reached for your knife, lingering on your leg a little too long. Then, he freezes.
"Excuse me sir, could you show me where your pulse is in your neck? Make sure your blood's still pumping?"
Astarion has his dagger in hand behind your attacker. The human starts shaking, and slowly creeps his hand off of your leg and onto his neck.
"Very good. Now, if you'd like to keep that precious sustenance pumping through your veins and don't want me to pop your jaw out of it's socket, you'll unhand my wife."
He points the tip of his dagger right where the neck meets the jawline, almost drawing blood. Soon after the human unhands your hair, and scrambles away, not before Astarion leaves the tiniest knick in his neck: a reminder. You turn around and embrace the vampire, finally catching your breath. He lets you stay wrapped around his side as he guides you out of the tavern.
"Are you alright my love? Did he hurt you?"
"Just my scalp a little. I forgot my knife before we left, stupid mistake."
He lifts your chin up to make eye contact with him.
"You shouldn't have to be armed so some man won't harass you. Would I prefer you to have a weapon on you? Of course, but if you ever can't protect yourself, I will."
You start to tear up a little. It's been a while since you've been that scared, and no one seemed to notice. What would've happened if Astarion was too late?
"Look at me."
He wakes you from your thoughts.
"Let's go home. Perhaps this isn't the right place for us."
You wrap your arm around his, holding onto his sleeve. Darkvision is nice at times like this, since he can see much further than you. The walk home is quiet, and he doesn't mind. However, he is constantly eyeing nearby alleyways in case that man decides to get smart with him. When you get home you ball up on the sofa, and he makes sure the door is double-locked, something he doesn't often do considering he made the locks himself. He makes his way to the sofa, the plush velvet making a nice contrast to rickety wooden chairs of the tavern.
"Come here darling."
He pulls you back to lay on him, and he unclasps your necklace, placing it gently on the nearby table.
"Astarion?"
You look up at him.
"Yes my love?"
Tears prick at your eyes again. You have a hard time getting the words out, as if it's an embarrassing question.
"Will... will you always keep me safe?"
Your voice wavers. He starts massaging your shoulders.
"Of course my sweet Tav, I'll keep you safe as long as you live."
His voice lowered, a certain serious tone taking hold. Part of him felt guilty things even went as far as they did tonight, but he promised himself he'd never let it happen again.
"I love you."
He smiles. It's not often you just say 'I love you' to one another, it's usually said in many different ways, in actions, in pet names. You save it for serious moments, when it feels important to remind each other of your love, how it binds you.
"I love you too darling."
Nothing else is said. Soon enough you fall asleep as he rubs your back, peaceful and safe.
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waterhousse · 3 months
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Underneath the Tree
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Pairing: brother’s best friend!ellie williams x reader
Summary: you’re happy to be back in your hometown for christmas break, but that changes when an unexpected guest shows up at your house.
Author’s note: let’s pretend i posted this on time lmao anyways here’s some fluffy cliché and christmassy ellie content <3
• • • •
christmas had always been your favorite holiday. you loved everything about it; the food, buying presents, the decorations, the movies and every single tradition, but most importantly, the joy of it all and the coziness that time of year radiated.
you and your brother had just arrived home from college, so all you wanted to do was relax for a bit. you plopped down on one of the couches, letting out a big sigh.
“hey, i wanted to tell you that i invited a friend over to spend christmas with us,” your brother told you out of nowhere.
you frowned, confused, “oh, who?”
“her family went to visit one of her aunts, the one she hates, so i invited her here. mom and dad already know.”
“who is it?” you asked again.
“well—”
knock, knock.
you didn’t miss the weird glance he shot you before he went to open the door. you stayed on the couch, trying to heighten your hearing to figure out who it was.
the intrigued expression in your face morphed into a surprised one when you recognize the person’s voice. it belonged to none other than ellie williams, your brother’s best friend.
they met in orientation and immediately hit it off, yet you had never liked her. not when your brother first introduced you to her, not after the countless times she had been over at your apartment and certainly not now that she had crashed your favorite holiday.
she always found a way to mess with you, either by teasing you or doing stuff like using your favorite mug whenever she was over at your apartment or borrowing your hoodies without asking.
she really got on your nerves, and now she was at your house. you would’ve never imagined her standing in your living room and talking to your parents, but there she was.
you glanced up at her the moment her eyes fell on you, her characteristic cocky grin already making an appearance.
“hey.”
you just sent her a smile, one that only a blind person wouldn’t be able to tell was fake. after a short chit-chat, your parents left the room followed by your brother, who mouthed ‘be nice’ before leaving.
“happy to see me?” ellie asked once she checked you were alone.
“the happiest,” you replied, sarcasm violently dripping from your words.
ellie suppressed a laugh, clearly amused by how much her presence bothered you. “i promise you won’t even notice i’m here.”
you scoffed, “yeah, right,” you muttered before getting up from the couch and walking past her. “don’t go in my room,” you warned her before leaving her alone on the living room.
“you’re not gonna show me around?” she asked, raising her voice a little.
you heard her snicker and it was almost impossible for you not roll your eyes at the sound. fuming, you went to the kitchen in search of your brother.
“thanks for the warning, dumbass,” you scowled at him. he knew how you felt about ellie, but he didn’t care in the slightest.
he laughed, stuffing his mouth with multiple cookies. “you weren’t going to let me invite her if i told you.”
“exactly!”
“get over it. she’s cool, you’d like her if you actually gave her a chance.”
you huffed, “whatever.”
after that, you went to your room. you put on your favorite christmas playlist as you unpacked, but you were far too distracted to actually listen to the songs.
you wouldn’t go as far as calling ellie your enemy, but she was close to that. you just couldn’t stand her, that was why whenever she visited your brother at your apartment you stayed in your room or left, not wanting to be the victim of her constant teasing.
suddenly, the door swung open. your head shot up, alarmed. ellie was staring back at you just as surprised as you were.
“what are you doing?” you asked, annoyed.
“oh, i thought this was the guest room.”
“that’s the guest room,” you pointed to the door right across yours. “now, if you’ll excuse me—”
“you should come downstairs, i’m about to bake cookies.”
a laugh escaped your lips as you grabbed your phone to pause the music. “you are making cookies?”
ellie leaned on the doorframe, a small smile forming on her lips, “yeah, why?”
“you don’t seem like the type, that’s all.”
“yeah, well, i’m full of surprises. you’ll see.”
with that, she left. you stared at where she had been standing a second ago, completely unaware of the goofy smile on your lips. you went back to your task, too caught up in your mind to realize you hadn’t pressed play on the music.
a while later, you finished unpacking and straightening up your room in the process. the smell of freshly baked cookies made you practically float to the kitchen and you could almost hear them calling your name. trying your best to not make a sound, you stood on your tiptoes and went to grab one.
“those are for later,” ellie’s voice came out of nowhere, startling you for the second time of the day.
you immediately turned around, narrowing your eyes at her, “this is my house.”
“and those are my cookies,” she retorted, crossing her arms beneath her chest. “but fine, you can grab one.”
“just like that?”
“do you want to fight a duel over it or something?”
you rolled your eyes, reaching over to grab one of the cookies. you chose the one with the candy cane shape and took a bite just as you walked past her.
god, that’s good.
“how is it?” ellie asked, following you closely behind.
“there’s no way you made this,” you said before sitting down on the big couch.
“i did!”
“i’ll ask my mom.”
“fine, she made them. i only passed her the ingredients,” ellie admitted, rolling her eyes. she sat down next to you and watched as you turned on the tv. “what are we watching?”
“well, i was going to watch home alone.”
“cool, let’s.”
“only if you keep quiet.”
ellie layed back on the couch, nodding at your words, “i promise.”
surprisingly, she kept her word and didn’t utter a sound, but you were still fully aware of her company. ellie didn’t miss the quick glances you shot at her from time to time.
“what?” she asked, turning her head to you.
“huh?”
“you’re looking at me.”
“no, i’m not,” you furrowed your eyebrows and looked back at the tv, but you could still feel ellie’s stare on you. with a sigh, you gazed back at her. “are you going to watch the movie or not?”
“i could ask you the same thing,” ellie replied, eyes sparkling with amusement.
you looked away from her, “shut up.”
ellie just chuckled lightly at you, choosing not say anything else and pay attention to the movie. she didn’t tear her eyes away from the screen until forty minutes later, when a weight on her shoulder distracted her. confused, she looked to the side.
it surprised her to see you had fallen asleep on her. you were softly snoring away, looking as peaceful as she had ever seen you. it was the first time you were that close to her and she couldn’t help but think how horrified you’d be if you knew what you were doing.
ellie watched what was left of the movie sitting impossibly still, trying not to wake you up. once the credits rolled in, she catiously moved you off of her and left you in a comfortable position before standing up.
she watched what was left of the movie impossibly still on her spot, trying not to wake you up. once it ended, she catiously moved you off of her and left you in a comfortable position before standing up.
you woke up a while later, wrapped in a warm blanket that wasn’t there before. you were completely disoriented, not knowing where you were or what had happened when it suddenly hit you.
you sat up straight on the couch, looking around and seeing the tv turned off.
“god,” you whispered as you hid your face in your hands, embarrassed.
“go wake your sister up and tell her dinner’s ready,” you heard your mother say from the dining room.
“i’m up!” you shouted back, mentally preparing yourself to face ellie again.
everyone was already sitting at the table, looking at you with amused smiles.
“you should’ve woken me up sooner,” you groggily complained, taking a seat next to ellie.
“but you looked so adorable,” ellie said to you, leaning closer so only you could hear.
you weren’t a violent person, but all you wanted to do in that moment was to punch that stupid grin off her face.
“i’m not in the mood for jokes, ellie,” you glared at her before setting your gaze on your plate.
“who said i was joking?”
you looked back at her, but she had already engaged in another conversation with your brother.
you and ellie didn’t exchange any more words, but you got to know her a little bit better due to the million questions your parents asked her. you learned that she was actually not that bad and you certainly liked her better when she wasn’t constantly teasing you.
even though you had taken a nap, you were still incredibly tired so you went to your room after helping cleaning up. once you slipped into your favorite pajamas you were ready to sleep, but a knock on your door interrupted you.
you didn’t expect to see ellie standing on the other side.
“uh, something wrong?”
ellie shook her head, “no, we’re just about to watch a movie and i though i’d let you know in case you wanted to watch it with us.”
“oh, thanks, but i’m really tired so…”
“you’re going to sleep already? do you need me to lend you my shoulder again?”
the polite smile you had instantly disappeared and an annoyed expression taking took over your features at her taunting.
“goodnight,” you closed the door on her face, but that didn’t stop the sound of her laughter from reaching your ears.
you woke up the following morning with the sound of your family chattering downstairs, with the addition of ellie’s voice. you could’ve sworn she said your name but, having just woken up, you told yourself you had probably heard wrong.
ellie was enjoying her breakfast when she heard noises upstairs and, as a reflex, she looked up. your brother noticed, so he sent her an inquisitive look.
“what?” he asked her.
“i heard noises, i think she’s up.”
“yeah, i know. you just seem very aware of whatever my sister does,” he pointed out before taking a sip of his coffee.
“i’m just a very observant person, that’s all.”
“you, observant? you’re zoned out every time i try talk to you,” he said incredulously.
“that’s on purpose, i just don’t wanna talk to you.”
their little quarrel stopped once they saw you come in, staying suspiciously quiet. you narrowed your eyes at them as you sat down, their eyes following you.
“what?” you glanced at them.
“nothing,” ellie replied as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.
“hey, can you pass me the—” you suddenly went quiet when you noticed something that snapped the sleepiness out of you. “that’s my mug!”
ellie froze on her spot just as she was about take another sip, “uh…”
“let her use it, she’s a guest!” your mother told you. “she probably didn’t know it was yours when she grabbed it.”
“but she always does this—”
“she’s a guest,” your mother repeated.
you scoffed as your eyes fell on the girl in front of you. as expected, she was completely amused by the situation.
“i’m a guest,” ellie pronounced the words with that mocking tone that drove you crazy.
“you’re really annoying, you know that?”
your brother silently watched the scene unfold in front him. he noticed the way you were trying to hide a smile and how ellie was unable to do so. there was a huge grin on his friend face, one that only seemed to appear whenever you were around.
that was actually the first thing that made him pay more attention to your relationship’s dynamic. ellie became another version of herself with you, one that was unusually smiley and much more of a tease than she normally was.
“next time i’ll go to your house to use your favorite mug.”
“i don’t have a favorite mug.”
your family listened closely to your bickering, laughing to themselves as you and ellie kept fighting. you were like that for the rest of the day, making fun of each other and engaging in harmless and playful arguments.
that afternoon you decided to make gingerbread houses, but it soon turned into a deadly competition in which only you and ellie were participants.
it all started when ellie mocked the christmas traditions you loved so much, calling them dumb. you challenged her by saying she only thought that way because she wouldn’t be good at them. your words brought up ellie’s competitive side, so she bet that her gingerbread house would kick yours’ ass.
“oh, you’re going down,” the evil chuckle the came out of you would’ve made her laugh in another situation, but ellie was too focused on winning.
much to your dismay, ellie was weirdly artistic and, apparently, good at everything. her house ended up being much better than yours, so you had to listen to her bragging about it for what was left of the day.
christmas was getting closer and closer and, to your surprise, having ellie there wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. in fact, you actually enjoyed having her around.
she was nicer than you would’ve imagined, really funny and had many different interests, which were fun to learn about when they were explained by her. you still found her slightly annoying since her habit of making fun of you never went away, but you were definitely getting used to it.
“you’re heading out?”
you looked up at the sound of ellie’s voice. “yeah, christmas shopping,” you replied as you wrapped a big scarf around your neck.
“oh, cool. i’m coming with you.”
you let out a small laugh, “no, you’re not.”
“i have to buy presents for the kind family who let me spend christmas with them, that includes you, the kindest of them all.”
you rolled your eyes at her evident sarcasm, “why don’t you go with my brother?”
“i need your help on what to get him,” ellie tried to convince you, but you were still hesitant. suddenly, an idea came to her mind. “c’mon, where’s the christmas spirit?”
christmas spirit.
using that card on you was low, it was obvious you wouldn’t resist.
you let out a sigh, but immediately gave in, “fine, let’s go.”
“you’re so easy to convince.”
“don’t make me regret it.”
the drive to the mall consisted in you singing whatever song came on the radio and ellie looking at you through the corner of her eye while staying strangely quiet. she hadn’t even tried to make fun of you, not even once.
“what should i get your parents?”
“you don’t have to get them anything, ellie, really.”
the mall was packed with people doing last minute christmas shopping, but you couldn’t exactly complain considering you were doing the exact same thing.
ellie followed you closely, “if you don’t help me i’ll buy them whatever crap i see first.”
“okay, do that.”
ellie groaned, “oh, c’mon.”
she kept struggling to find a way to convince you, completely oblivious to the smile you had on your lips. you had decided to help her from the beginning, but seeing her in distress was very entertaining for you.
you wandered around for a while, going into every possible store. you bought presents for everyone, except for the girl beside you.
“stay here, i have to do something,” you told her.
“really? what’s that?”
“it’s private.”
ellie hummed, “how private?”
“what?”
“why can’t i go with you?” she questioned.
“because you can’t.”
“wait, are you going to buy me a present?”
you huffed, “no.”
“you don’t have to lie.” ellie leaned in closer to you, “i know santa isn’t real,” she whispered.
you pushed her away from you as she laughed. you began walking away, ellie hurriedly catching up to you.
“what are you going to get me?”
“nothing if you keep being a pain in the ass,” you dryly replied.
“fine, go. i guess i’ll just wait here,” she pointed to an empty bench. “don’t be long.”
“don’t tell me what to do.”
ellie watched you leave with a smile plastered on her face. she sighed, laying back on the bench as she impatiently waited for you to be back. she had already picked up a present for you in one of the many stores you visited. she didn’t know how she managed to pull it off, but she was insanely proud of herself. it was difficult for you not to notice something, you had eyes everywhere.
after what seemed an eternity for ellie, you went back to find her. you almost laughed at how tired she looked, maybe christmas shopping wasn’t as fun for others as it was for you.
“bored?” you asked, amused.
“i think i actually fell asleep at one point.”
“i’m sorry,” you chuckled. “but we’re done! let’s go.”
ellie laughed softly at the amount of energy you still had in you. she felt completely exhausted. shopping was one of the things she disliked the most, especially during the holidays. still, she had fun.
maybe she didn’t hate shopping as much as she thought, or maybe your company would make her enjoy literally anything.
“wait,” ellie grabbed your arm and pulled you down, making you sit next to her. “aren’t you tired?”
“not really,” you shrugged your shoulders. “but we can rest for a bit if you want.”
“great,” she replied, crossing her arms and laying back on the bench again.
you copied her action, looking around the mall and paying extra attention to the lovely christmas decorations. you threw your head back, noticing something hanging above you.
mistletoe.
your eyes widened as you sat up straight, catching ellie’s attention. she turned her head to you, furrowing her eyebrows.
“you okay there?”
“uh, yeah. why?”
“you’re looking a little tense, that’s all.”
“i’m not tense, i’m just cold.” you made the mistake of shooting a quick glance at the mistletoe. ellie noticed, of course.
she tried her best to suppress a smile, but she failed miserably, “ah, i see.”
the way she looked at you caused a strange flutter in your stomach, which made you shift uncomfortably in your place.
“i’m not kissing you, ellie.”
“why not?”
her almost immediate question took you by surprise, “what do you mean why not?”
“i mean, why not?”
“i don’t know. you’re you.”
“yeah, and you’re you. you love christmas traditions.”
“you don’t. you said they were dumb.”
“yeah, but i’m not, like, totally opposed to them.”
you stayed quiet, staring into those green eyes of hers. your gaze wandered down to her lips and it lingered there for a moment before something else caught your attention.
“you have freckles,” you pointed out.
her eyes darted from your lips to your eyes, “you didn’t know?”
“this is the closest i’ve ever been to you.”
ellie’s mouth curved into a smile, wanting you to be even closer. she noticed the way your eyes were back on her lips, so she took it as a sign that you wanted it just as much as her.
it felt impossible for you to look away, you were completely enthralled by her. there was something pulling you closer to her, you couldn’t control it.
“for christmas’ sake, y’know?”
“you can’t keep using christmas as a way to manipulate me,” you whispered.
ellie took the initiative and leaned in first. you instantly closed your eyes at the contact, eyebrows slightly burrowed as you melted into the soft, slow kiss. it didn’t last long, but the sensation stayed with you after pulling away.
“um…” was all that you could say, eyes a bit widened.
ellie sent you a nervous smile, “you gotta respect christmas traditions, right?”
“right.”
on the drive back home the tension was palpable, but neither of you dared to mention the kiss again and acted as if nothing had happened. you certainly wouldn’t be the one to bring it up, so you tried your best to forget about it and trick your own mind into thinking it had been just an hallucination.
on the other hand, ellie couldn’t and wouldn’t stop replying the moment in her head. she wasn’t exactly sure if she had done the right thing, but she knew she didn’t regret it. not one thought crossed her mind in that moment, she didn’t think about what would happen next or what would your brother do if he found out. she went for it because that was what she had been wanting to do for a while.
on christmas morning, the house was dead quiet. everyone was still asleep, except for you and ellie. after making yourselves more presentable, you stepped out on the hallway at the same time. you almost gasped when you opened the door and ellie was right across from you, there was a similar expression on her face.
things had been awkward between you two. you didn’t ignore each other, but you didn’t talk as much as before. she had stopped making fun of you and you treated her more politely than you had ever done.
“good morning,” you softly said.
“hey,” she greeted with a half smile. “merry christmas.”
your eyebrows rose a little when you realized you had forgotten what day it was.
“right, merry christmas,” you grinned, fiddling with your fingers. “do you want to have breakfast?”
“sure, yeah.”
you both went downstairs and walked towards the kitchen, but ellie stopped by the living room. you turned around and watched her go to the christmas tree. she looked back at you, pointing at the wall where five christmas stockings were hung up. next to the one with your initial, there was one with an embroidered letter ‘E’.
“you bought me a stocking.”
“how’d you know it was me?”
ellie tilted her head to the side, “seriously? you’re like christmas personified.”
her compliment earned a soft giggle from you. you missed the adoring look she gave you when you looked down. it was hard to make you shy, which is why ellie felt over the moon when she accomplished it.
“thank you,” ellie gave a sincere smile, which faltered a little once she saw you trying to avoid eye contact. it had been that way ever since the kiss happened and it was driving her crazy.
“you’re welcome,” you grinned, looking into her eyes.
oh, ellie wasn’t ready for that. she felt her heart rate pathetically increase and she tried her best to look unaffected.
“we’re okay, right?” she awkwardly asked you.
“yes, why wouldn’t we be?”
“it’s just… it’s been kind of weird since, y’know, the kiss. i’m sorry if it bothered you, we can just forget it happened—”
iin that moment, the sound of your brother coming downstairs stopped you. you sent her an apologetic look before he barged in, loud as he always was.
“you didn’t open any presents yet, did you?” your brother asked you, narrowing his eyes at you.
“uh, no. we— we were waiting for you, guys,” you said just as your parents appeared.
you watched your family open their presents and tell you to open yours, but you were too busy thinking about your previous conversation with ellie. you glanced at her, hoping she would be already looking at you, but she wasn’t.
with a sigh, you grabbed a box from underneath the tree, one that had ellie’s name on it. you walked over to her and took her by her hand before discreetly dragging her out of the room.
“i’m sorry i’ve been acting weird, i guess i just— well, i—” you struggled to put together an actual sentence under ellie’s stare. she tilted her head to the side, waiting for you to continue. “god, don’t look at me like that.”
“why? do i make you nervous?” she taunted, a teasing grin spreading over her lips.
“ellie,” you complained, throwing your head back.
she laughed, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry.”
“dumbass,” you muttered, frowning. “what i’m trying to say is, i’m sorry. i should’ve been more upfront.”
“more upfront with what, exactly?”
“with how i feel.”
ellie’s breath hitched in her throat, “and how do you feel?”
“i like you.”
“you do?”
“yeah,” you gave her a smile. “unless you don’t like me back, then i don’t.”
ellie chuckled lightly and, without hesitation, she gently grabbed your face with one hand and brought you closer to her, giving you the kiss she had been dreaming about ever since your lips left hers at the mall.
your mind went blank, nothing else mattered. not the possibility of your family seeing you or the fact that kissing ellie would’ve been the worst thing imaginable a week back.
things had drastically changed.
you didn’t know when or why it happened exactly, but you seriously liked her. maybe when you saw how well she treated your parents, or how much she cared for your brother. maybe it was the way she looked at you whenever she made a joke to see if you’d laugh, or the fact that you shared practically the same taste in music.
there were many, many reasons for you to like her, yet you still couldn’t believe it was actually happening.
all of a sudden, you pulled away, leaving ellie with her lips puckered, “open your present.”
you placed the perfectly wrapped gift in between her hands, bragging about having wrapped it yourself since the guy from the store wasn’t very good at it.
you watched as ellie tried her best not to rip the wrapping paper and open it carefully.
“it’s okay if you rip it,” you clarified.
“no, you wrapped it.”
once she finally opened it, a smile began spreading across her lips. on her hands, there was a mug. it was similar to the one you had on your apartment, with different little and delicate drawings of cats. the only difference was that yours had details in dark red and hers in deep blue. there was also a handwritten card that read ‘i hope this becomes your favorite one (just so i can use it)’.
a laugh escaped her lips, rolling her eyes as she brought you in for a hug. “thank you, i love it.”
“yeah?”
“yup. i’ll keep using yours, though.”
“it’s fine, i’ll use yours.”
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devnmon · 1 year
Text
Cry.
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Warnings: mentions of violence, attempted s/a, gore and blood, descriptions of ptsd and trauma. Do not read if these things trigger you.
word count: 3.3k
A Daryl Dixon x reader comfort/angst fic that is void of pointless plot [except for backstory] and is based off of two things:
The song Cry. by Cigarettes After Sex, and this. [all credit is given to ms. genna dixon, her work creating this audio inspired me to write this, and i hope she enjoys reading this fic as well!]
a/n: This fic has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust and I thought, with the help of madi, that it should finally be given to the fanfic world. I hope you all enjoy, and I'm sorry for whatever feelings arise from reading this. I'm also just really fucking proud of this fic and I really hope everyone enjoys.
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Stepping outside, the chilled air from battering rainfall hits your skin, pouring down upon familiar streets. It's about that time of year for cold rain and harsher temperatures, before warmer ones commenced, flipping the forever rain into sunshine.
Pulled away finally from the events going on indoors, the fresh air immediately fills your chest, inhaling until you couldn't anymore. Boots creak under the wooden deck as you saunter closer to the ceaseless precipitation before you back away.
The wooden picnic table a certain archer built was the first thing you spot, up against the wall of the house. You sit, pulling the jean-covered legs in to your chest, to comfort yourself and the way you felt. The pressure of your body scrunched together was relieving for a bit, but it just wasn't working as well as you wanted it to.
Gaze focused on the gravel in the street, a hand rests across your forehead, head reliving a certain memory, one that's kept you sleeping on the couch at night, instead of in bed with your partner. One whom you shared this very house with.
In the moment, it's difficult to distinguish what's real life or imaginary, and the next thing you know, your eyes are squeezed shut to try and shake the images from your mind.
It fails, the man's face already burned into the backs of your eyelids, whether you wanted it to be, or not.
He’s glaring into you, the same way a predator takes notice of it's prey.
With a half-cocked ego and a group of men that listen to his rules, he'd been ruthless.
Your throat dries up, chin trembling with the vulnerability that painted your now shivering body in restless dread. The vile laugh he’d let out reverberated in your mind, pit in your stomach already deepening, the familiar fucking feeling returning to your chest like it was happening all over again.
Though, that could never happen, because the same man whose face had been taunting your sleep ended up on the ground with his throat bitten out by one Rick Grimes.
You owed it to him for saving your lives that night. so much so, that Daryl got more than a little jealous sometimes.
Oh yeah, Daryl.
Your Daryl.
The one you'd fallen for ever since he’d been in the camp, risking his life constantly for the benefit of your group, getting close enough to call you all his family. Especially you.
Daryl, your person, soulmate, best friend, lover, family. He was the only man you saw yourself next to in a world plagued with the dead.
He was there that night, as well. The night of the claimers.
That day the prison fell was one you spent all day and night running with Daryl and Beth to save your lives.
Out of nowhere, Beth was gone, taken in a white car with a cross on the back. You and Daryl ran in the direction the car sped off down for what felt like hours, even after the sun came up.
The powerful sprint the both of you had started off at slowed to a jog, stopping every few minutes until it turned into a walk. You continued going until your bodies downright collapsed on each other's, in the middle of a random road with no idea as to where you were. Your breath wasn't even caught yet before you heard a group of footsteps in the surrounding area.
That's when they came out of the woods and fucked everything up.
The moment they finally came into view, there was something more about the looks on their face that gave away this was premeditated. You figured after a while that they had waited and watched for you both to get worn down from running, that way you didn't have the strength to fight back, even if you wanted to. They moseyed around the both of you, creating a circle of men with no escape.
Which should have been your first sign.
For the next few days, you and Daryl rolled with this group of men that called themselves the claimers, in order to get by on the road before you found your people again. It was part of surviving, making it day to day after the prison fell, determined to find your family again. Daryl thought differently, losing hope in ever finding them, especially after Beth had gone missing.
You stayed extra close to Daryl those days, in fear of what would happen to you if one of the men caught you alone.
The timid act was only to protect yourself, a front you put up so that the men didn't actually speak to or threaten you. When you were spoken to though, you answered to avoid being ‘dropped several times over’, the groups code for being beaten either nearly, or fully to death.
One night, you wondered why there weren't any women in their group, though sooner or later you had figured out why there probably shouldn't be.
Their name is the fucking claimers, what did you expect. It's the way they claim ownership over something, or god forbid.. someone.
All they did when the men realized you two were together was laugh astonishingly loud, calling you a fair share of misogynistic names. Though, nothing changed the way they looked at you.
They didn't back off away from you, either. Only kept staring at you, when you pretended they weren't, muttering sick shit under their breath to entertain the other men.
Daryl came to your defense, threatening each of the men that even stepped too close to you. Those were the nights you were held so close to him, you could've sworn you were part of him now. In a way, you were. But it was one that Daryl wanted to keep for himself, and nobody else.
Daryl was so hell-bent on protecting you those days, he would've done anything. He came as close as starting a fight with one of the men when they wouldn't stop badgering you.
The men didn't back off until Daryl figured out the way to get all of them to leave you and him alone. It was something Joe had said about how the group works, to which Daryl himself said he wouldn't do.
Though he knew in that moment, it was the only way.
"She's claimed."
Most days, you think about what could have happened in that situation way too often. They reoccur in your nightmares, bombarding your brain every time you were finally shut your eyes at night.
Then, it echoes through your head throughout the day, during passing moments when your every being wasn't occupied with some other responsibility.
You had taken up a lot more of those recently, to keep your mind off the whole thing. You had to admit, it was wearing your body out, and the effect of your trauma didn't help at all.
Sure, you had seen every person in your group kill people before, but never the way Rick had that night.
Crimson painted across his face, practically dying his skin with its thickness. There's some on the fur of his jacket, you remember. Recalling the sheer look of terror you held, figure frozen in it's overwhelmed, cathartic state.
At this point in the world, you didn't know if living through a traumatic event as brutal as that one was worse than surviving every day after it, the whole thing reverberating in your head day in and day out.
The most horrific part of it, you think, wasn't the things they said to you days before, and it wasn't the unsettling feeling you got hearing Joe's voice.
It was the moment you hear, "Look, it's the guy who killed Lou."
One of the men in the group speaks out loud, running ahead with some of the group, while you and Daryl trail behind Joe as he catches up with them as well.
Joe had told Daryl about who Lou was a day or so ago, how some guy strangled him in a bathroom. Not curious about why he did it or who the guy was, you'd only listened to him go on about it from afar, aching pit in your stomach again.
The figures of three people camped out in the street were visible, not coming into your eyesight until you follow Daryl into the clearing.
Your eyes finally peel over to the people they've surrounded, and there was Rick and Michonne in the street, weapons aimed at them. There's a car in the road as well, one you realize Carl had been sleeping inside, one of them tapping on the passenger side window with a knife.
The way all three of them looked was terrified, but changed to disbelief when they saw you and Daryl, who pleaded for you to stay back, as he advanced towards Joe.
These people, you're gonna let 'em go. These are good people.
Daryl's words echoed in your head the moment he'd began bargaining with Joe, the nasty feeling you got earlier returning in the form of a racing heart and sweaty palms.
You want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man.
"Daryl, no.." The whisper you speak with is barely loud enough for you to hear over the shakiness of your breath. The only thing you focus on are the words Joe's saying, with the same dreaded feeling in your gut.
"This man killed our friend. You say he's good people. Now that right there, is a lie."
Rick yells out at the same time you do, as one man clocks Daryl in the gut, knocking the fucking wind out of him, another man restraining him as he gets dragged backwards.
Before you can move another foot, you hear the words, 'Teach him boys, teach him all the way.'
They were going to beat Daryl to death, and there was nothing you could do that wouldn't guarantee you wouldn't get the same beating. Backing away as the two men hauled him towards where you'd been standing, a shrill gasp left your chest, covering your mouth in surprise, tear rolling down your cheek.
It wasn't until you get to the other side of the car that you realize Carl's being taken out of it, as you stand at the rear end of the vehicle. As the man noticed you with Carl in his arms, he mutters something under his breath as he reaches for you with a gloved hand.
Feet dragging on the ground, he pulls you both into the clearing lit by the moon against the lanky trees that seemed to tower over the area.
Trying to pull the grown man off of him, you plead endlessly for him to hurt you over the boy. Before you realize he did more to push you off of him than he did to harm you, you'd been shoved to the dirt ground, next to Michonne.
Turning to the woman, your eyes locked in similar terror. These men were nothing like you'd ever met before. Any hope left inside you was washing away with each word out of Joe's mouth.
It isn't long before his cliché comes out, revealing his plan of what his men are going to do to each of you. Joe's talking into Rick's ear, but the tone of voice he used made it feel more like he was explaining to everyone about what was going to happen.
"First we're gonna beat Daryl to death, then we'll have the girls.. then the boy. Then I'm gonna shoot you.. and then we'll be square."
The only thing ringing in your ears was that fucking laugh of his.
Weak eyes pan over to the grunts coming from Daryl as he tries to fight off the two men who have been beating the life out of him for what felt like ages.
Each blow they landed on his torso, legs, face and back was like one to your own body, psyche shattering as Daryl cries out in pain.
"Let him go.."
Rick's hoarse voice speaks, gaze still on the two men beating up his best friend. It isn't until Rick repeats himself, a desperate, dry tone in his voice, that makes you rip your eyes away.
Your vision blurred for a moment before focusing your eyes on Rick again, his dilated pupils filling with rage. In one action, he jolts his head back into Joe's nose, the gun in his hand firing right by his ear.
The shot makes your stomach drop, instinctively flinching, watching him jump up from the ground and finally get a hit on him.
Though, Joe only retaliates with one, two, three blows to the sides of his torso, letting him roll around on the ground before he picks him up off of it. Rick wouldn't have been able to stand without Joe holding him, since beating the hell out of him.
"What the hell are you gonna do about it now, sport?"
You start to hear the same laugh again, before a second passes by and you realize it's stopped. The squelch of flesh rings out, and you realize what Rick's done.
You look up to see his face, drenched in the man's blood, spitting whatever he bit into out of his mouth. The moment settles and he's dropping him to the ground. Then, he goes for the man on top of his son. It isn't long until Rick's brutally stabbing him in the neck over and over, retaliation for hurting his people.
A few more shots fire out as you look over to Michonne taking down the man in front of her and one of the ones on Daryl, before he's punching the other one in the jaw and running to you, pleading to himself that they hadn't done anything to hurt you.
Before you know it, the archer's arms are wrapped around your body, bracing your back, one of his hands caressing the back of your head as well. It isn't until you pull back from his embrace to see the aftermath of being beat on that you break out into tears, his beautiful face bloody and bruised.
"Oh, Daryl.. your face.." your voice breaks on the last word, palms of his hands cupping your face softly, eyes shifting over your face to look for any blood or cuts. A hand wraps around his forearm as his hands cup your face, shushing you quietly.
Michonne holds her arms around Carl's head, and before you know it, Daryl's holding you the same way, one hand rubbing up and down your back.
Though your thoughts run ramped, you take a deep breath, slowly exhaling as the cool air in your lungs calms you the slightest bit.
You've been outside for a while now, long enough to have gotten caught in that traumatic memory. Being in your head for so long blinds you from the fact that Daryl's standing in front of you on the porch now.
Head still dropped, you see the boots he always wears a few feet away from where you were.
"Hey," his gruff voice calls out, your eyes slowly lifting to him, not getting farther than a glance to the side. He can immediately see the state you're in, pupils dilated and glossy from tears leaking down your face.
Eyes glancing back down, not daring to make eye contact, you aren't aware of where the archer is, focusing on the wood porch again.
You know Daryl's seen you like this before, but you only shy away because the event was too overwhelming.
“You alright?” he asks, the low drawl of his voice the first words you’ve heard in a while except for the sound of rain. He’s been sitting by your side, and you haven’t said a word.
Trying to speak, the lump at your throat prevents you from doing so, tongue choking back all the intrusive thoughts that tortured your mind. Your voice breaks in any attempt you had, stopping yourself.
Daryl sees your hesitation, reading your highly unstable state like a book. He scoots closer, more so now that you can feel the heat of his body pursue yours.
“Tell me the truth.” he whispers, his hand rubbing up and down your back, comforting amongst remembering the pain. His touch slows your heart rate and brings you out of your overwhelming head for a moment. The hand on your back is warm, spreading the heat around your entire body.
“I-I can’t..” You choke back the first tears attempting to escape your eyes, trying again to build up the wall that Daryl has so beautifully destroyed, all while he was falling in love with you.
“It’s okay.” He sighs, opening his arms wide to you.
You look to him, another tear falling down your cheek, his thumb swiping it away before your eyes meet his.
“Is it? It doesn't fucking feel like it..” Your nose sniffles as you ask, and when he nods, it’s the most reassuring feeling in the world when he does.
Knowing that everything you're thinking now wont matter one day, grounds you to Earth again. It pulls you from your thoughts, and you try to focus on the man in front of you, wanting to cry into his shoulder as much as you wanted to pepper his face with kisses.
“Come here.” He beckons you towards his body, the warmth of his chest radiating off of him. You climb into his lap, arms wrapping around his neck. Your breath hitches against his chest, and he feels it too, the final push of your walls breaking down around him.
For the first time, you feel free. You feel seen, and you feel loved.
“I know.” He can't fathom the thoughts running through your head, nor what he could do to make sure you never felt this way again.
Daryl has his fair share of trauma from his life experiences before he met you, but after what you've experienced on this constant road together, you find yourselves closer than ever. You and Daryl are both connected through this, intensely and irrevocably.
“Daryl, please dont leave.” You sniffle again, trying to hide the fact that your resolve is breaking and the desire to hide how you really feel diminishes like the crush of an egg shell. It's now that you realize you can’t hide it from him anymore.
“I'm right here.” It’s then your resolve breaks, a muffled sob escaping you as tears drench the cloth of his dark shirt. Your quivering voice fill his ears, one sob after another, making it difficult to breathe at how much you're hyperventilating. Your hands grip at his clothing, palms turning white with how hard you squeeze, nails pressing into your skin to feel something again. Something other than this.
In a moment, Daryl’s touch soothes you in a way you never knew was possible. Nothing else mattered in this moment, other than him being there to comfort you.
All the love and care you had for him were a couple of the reasons your walls that had once been built up began to crack.
“Yeah?” you choke back another sob, and his soft blue eyes meet yours. They're like a deep sea, and with the first glance, you're lost in them all over again. Each time you get caught in his eyes, it's like you're diving into his deep blues like a bottomless pool.
“Yeah.” his hand caresses your cheek softly, palm warm to your touch still, after being in the cold rain.
“Always.” he starts to wipe the tears from your face and you know in that moment he sees you as you truly are. A smile comes easier after a moment of letting yourself feel everything you'd been holding back for what felt like weeks.
“I love you.” He presses a kiss to your hair and you look up at him.
“I love you, Daryl.” Your lips press to his in a delicate kiss, the softness lingering even after you pull away.
“I’ll be here as long as ya need.” Pushing up against his body, the weight of yours lies against him as the rain continued to pour.
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a/n: likes + reblogs are appreciated!! it lets me know how much everyone enjoys my writing & sharing to others is a generous thing to do. check out my masterlist
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hellojaemin · 2 years
Text
keep them waiting (m)
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PAIRING: na jaemin x fem!reader
GENRE: smut, 1k words
WARNINGS: unprotected sex, kind of angry sex, dom!jaemin
frustration builds up in jaemin's chest when he made yet another mistake during their dance practice.
it wasn't the first time that he didn't get the routine on the first few tries, but it didn't help that his members weren't aware of his thinning patience, teasing him for messing up.
he looks at you at the corner, catching his attention when you mouth, "you okay?"
jaemin scoffs, wanting to roll his eyes, but stops himself before any of the members notice.
bold of you to ask him if he's okay when you left him in the bathroom just a few minutes ago, tucking his hard dick in his pants just when he was about to come.
"i think i heard them call for you," you had whispered, giving his cock one last lick before kissing his lips, leading him back to practice. "we don't want to keep them waiting, don't we?"
you were the reason his mind is nowhere near the dance routine they spent hours of learning. his focus only on the strain in his black adidas sweatpants and your eyes on him with mock innocence.
"don't worry about it, jaem." mark pats his shoulder when he halted his movements again, muttering a sorry to the team. "we all get stressed sometimes. don't let it get to you."
and just like that, he tried his hardest to keep up with the group, his skills never failing him. he eventually gets the hang of it, dance steps flowing his body naturally until the song ends.
soon after, their choreographer announces a break.
fucking finally, jaemin thinks, eyes immediately locking yours from the reflection of the mirror. you bit your lip at jaemin's lustful gaze, chest heaving, tired from the endless dancing.
"get up," he commands when he approached you. "we're going to finish what you started."
this leads you to where you are now— chest pressed on the marble sink, hands clinging to the edge as jaemin rails into you. his thrusts were harsh, the tip of his cock hitting your spot repeatedly
"you like this, doll? can you feel how hard i am?" he taunts in your ear.
you whimpered before nodding quickly, legs bucking from the immense pleasure. jaemin notices your attempts of slowing him down, your face turning to him.
"c-can we slow down?" you asked between heavy breaths. but he ignores you. not a single look was thrown your way, his eyes focused on the way your pussy welcomes him.
"jaem, slow down." this caught his attention.
"i don't think you're in the position to make orders," he grunts before hammering into you at a faster pace than before. eyes sharp, he looks into yours through the mirror. "i'm teaching you a lesson here."
this shut you up, teeth biting your lower lips to muffle your moans, but this could only do much. when jaemin takes a hold of your hair and pulls you closer to his chest, you let out a loud moan.
"fuck, jaemin..." you whined at how deep he is.
his fingers swiftly made its way to your mouth when you got louder. loud enough that people who pass by can hear what you're doing.
"feels good?" he asks as he quiets you down. you nod, twirling your tongue around them.
he continues to fuck you hard against the sink and you curse his goddamn stamina. endless hours in the practice room, training his body to get accustomed to moving.
and you can barely keep up.
loud groans escaped him when you clenched around him, wanting him to cum first. "jaemin, cum in me please. i need it. please."
his movements were still intense and consistent, but broken moans started to fill the room, sweat dripping down the side of his face.
your eyes met again through the mirror. you see the way he hisses when you purposely clench around him again.
"please, jaemin. cum in me. i learned my lesson."
"fuck," he cussed out, head rolling back before he quickly returned his gaze to you. "fuck, i'm cumming."
with one last thrust, he buries his face into your neck, breathing heavily as he calms down from his high. jaemin reaches for your chin, softly guiding your face to look at him before he gives you a sweet kiss.
he's still panting after a few seconds, but he wasn't done. "your turn."
he flips your body, hastily carrying you on top of the sink. he separates your legs and urges you to hold onto them as he pressed them on your chest.
"be quiet for me."
he starts trailing kisses down your thighs, blowing a bit of air when he reaches your core. you swore you felt a gush of wetness when you felt his hot breath.
"such a pretty pussy. so wet and sensitive." he hums before he eats you out. tongue gliding smoothly against your skin, easily finding your clit.
he plays with you a few more minutes before he feels your legs shaking. he leans back to admire you.
"frankly, i don't think you deserve to cum." he teased, knowing damn well you already made up for it by letting him cum inside you.
you let out another whine and jaemin goes back to sloppily playing with your folds, addicted to the taste.
you were forgiven, of course. and he'd gladly let you cum.
but the universe just made the situation a little more exciting when a call for the members echoed through the hallway. they needed him back in the practice room.
he looks up at you, your lips pouting when you knew you had to cut this short. he's guilty for the lack of time, for not letting you come, but he can't help the smirk on his lips, anticipating what would happen when you two get home.
"ah, i guess we'll just continue this later." he sighs quite mockingly. "i think i heard them call for me. we don't want to keep them waiting, don't we?"
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cissyenthusiast010155 · 11 months
Note
Hey, if possible Lesso with prompt 27 please?
Angst, happy ending but any direction you fancy! Thank you! I adore you’re work! 😘💛
Hiiiii @grumblebee-93! I appreciate your request and your patience for me to get to yours (: Thank you for your kind words and for reading my work 💕 This work was inspired by a song which I’ll tag for you (;
Red Fever ~Leonora Lesso xFem Librarian!Reader
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Mommy…Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
#27. “If you hate me so much, why do moan my name in the shower?!”
Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, angst, degrading kink, nicknames, shower sex, masturbation, enemies to lovers vibes, hate fucking, fingering, implied sex…, etc.
Enjoy (;
It was no secret that you and Lesso didn’t like each other.
Lesso had made it evidently clear that she thought having a non Ever/Never Librarian to bridge the two schools to be bullshit.
And you had made it evidently clear that you would not tolerate her negative and evil shenanigans.
Luckily, you spent most of your time in the library which was in the Ever side of the school; so for the most part, you didn’t see Lesso.
Except for staff meetings…
And whenever Lesso found it convenient to bug you at meal times…
~
“Normie…” Lesso snarked at you on her way into the library/meeting room.
“Red…” you bit back.
~
“Don’t get in involved in things that surpass you, Normie…” Lesso jeered, glaring at you from across the dining table.
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, Red.” You punctuated, glaring right back.
~
“What books would you not recommend, Normie?” Lesso asked, having appeared out of nowhere in the library.
“Why…?” You snarked.
“Because you obviously have bad taste in what you do like to read…” Lesso snarked right back.
~
That was only the beginning…
But the worst of it was that you found yourself gravitating to Lesso’s taunts and jeers.
Yea, they hurt, but she was like a fucking magnet…
After a particularly brutal staff meeting, in which you had to excuse yourself because you and Lesso had gotten so heated, you rushed to the teachers quarters to compose yourself.
Lesso had gotten you to the verge of tears this time.
And she had had the biggest fucking Cheshire Cat grin while doing so…
But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
The worst of it was the ever growing wet spot in your knickers accompanied by a tightening coil in your stomache.
You rushed into the female staff shower quarters (yes the school was old fashion, dormitory style in that way), slamming the door shut behind you.
You stripped and quickly turned on the hot water to try and calm yourself.
~
Immediately when you had stormed off, Lesso had had the gut feeling that she had gone too far.
Which she didn’t get often…
But you hated her, didn’t you?
Regardless, she was determined to find you after the meeting.
She checked all the books of the library…
Nothing.
She checked your sleeping quarters…
Nothing.
She checked your classroom…
Nothing.
Eventually, all that was left was the showering quarters.
Lesso entered the large room swiftly and silently.
And the sound of running water coming from one of the showers confirmed your presence.
But before she could do anything else, Lesso heard something else…
~
You couldn’t help it…
For some reason, Lesso degrading and taunting you turned you on.
Wayyy more than you were comfortable with.
It was not okay for her to treat you that way…
And yet every time, you found yourself snaking your hand down to your soaked cunt, relieving the painful ache in between your legs…
Today was no different.
If anything, it was worse…
The heated water hitting you only spurred your actions on even more.
Pretty soon, you were skillfully fucking your cunt in the way you knew got to you best…
“OhHhh, Fuck you Lesso…!!” you moaned as you yet again just barely came close to your orgasm but didn’t quite make it.
You tried to stifle the sounds that came out of your lips…
But today, it was extra hard…
You found your fingers weren’t doing it today, and it started to frustrate you.
Lesso was getting to you.
~
“OhHhh, Fuck you Lesso…!!”
Lesso was stunned in place for a solid minute.
Had she heard right?
That was most definitely you…
And it was most definitely a moan…
As soon as Lesso unfroze, she rushed over to where the sound had come from.
She ripped the shower curtain open, her eyes widening at the sight.
~
At the sound of the curtain, you quickly snuck your hand back from your heat and your eyes widened in shock at the sight of Lesso.
“What the fuck, Lesso?!” You shrieked, trying to use the shower curtain to immediately cover up.
But it was too late.
Lesso had seen you…
And she had immediately decided that she wanted to see you again…
No… She wanted to have you…
But you hated her, didn’t you??
“Lesso!! What the actual fuck?!” You repeated, when Lesso didn’t respond and was simply staring at you.
“Me???” Lesso snapped back, “What the fuck to you!! This is a public showering area!”
“Oh my God, Can’t you just leave me alone?? I fucking hate you…!” You seethed.
Lesso couldn’t stand this anymore.
She couldn’t stand the elephant in the room.
“If you hate me so much, why do moan my name in the shower?!” She screamed back.
Now it was your turn to go silent.
You had feared that she’d heard it…
But you didn’t know until that moment.
And that’s when it clicked for Lesso.
This wasn’t hatred that you had for her…
It was lust.
A smirk plastered over Lesso’s face.
“Red, Don’t be ridicul—”
But before you could finish your lie, Lesso’s lips had crashed into yours.
She pinned you to the wall with ease, closing the curtain, and ignoring her clothes which were getting soaked.
All she focused on was attacking your precious lips.
Oh and the moans she drew from those pretty lips…
As she devoured your lips, Lesso snaked her own hand down to your aching cunt.
She moaned in delight at how your were dripping for her…
“Fuck Normie…” Lesso panted, “Need me that bad?”
“Yes fuck please Red…” you breathlessly pled with her, arching your back and hips to her touch.
Lesso fucked you right then and there. While wearing all her clothes. The water still running.
It was absolutely, delightfully sinful…
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benkeibear · 1 year
Text
☰ 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲
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⧫ Character: Nanami
⧫ Reader: female
⧫ Wordcount: 0.8k
⧫ Summary: Nanami surprises you with some time off work over Christmas and gives you an early present
⧫ WARNINGS: sub!reader, oral (f! Receiving), fingering, praising, mentions of unprotected sex and breeding
⧫ A/n: this is my entry for @mekiza ‘s secret Santa event for my dear @villain-hotline - I hope you have a beautiful Christmas my love 🖤
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Christmas season - your favorite time of the year and only one thing was missing - the love of your life spending time with you. He couldn’t yet again and you tried to understand that Nanamis work is important but sometimes you would like to be selfish and have him all to yourself for at least a few days a year.
Out of frustration and to keep yourself busy you decided to bake cookies and ended up making his favorites, scoffing to yourself once the realization hit you. After you pushed the cookies into the oven you began cleaning up the mess you created, singing along to whatever Christmas song came on the radio.
You didn’t even hear the apartment door open and close, too busy pulling off a little show for a nonexistent audience in the kitchen but Nanami watched you with a small smirk on his face. It was just too cute how you were singing and dancing while cleaning - something he didn’t see enough of in his opinion. The small heart attack you got when you saw him standing in the doorframe was enough for him to laugh, a sound you missed so much this past week in his absence. The fact that you were singing along to „Santa baby“ was far too amusing to him so instead of hugging you he sat down at the kitchen table and patted his lap „Who needs Santa when you have me, baby?“ he asked with a small smirk as you moved to sit on his lap. Once you were seated he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your temple „i guess Christmas came early… I will be free for the next few days“ he informed you and he was right, this was probably the best Christmas present of them all. The gifts under the tree were piling up but you would exchange them all in a blink of an eye for time with him.
When you moved to kiss him you saw the mischievous glint behind his eyes and before you knew it his mouth opened to speak „So tell me, princess. Have you been a good girl this year?“ he asked with a raspy voice, his eyes piercing right through you and you understood, nodding eager with big doe eyes. „Oh Santa Baby, I’ve been an awful good girl this year“ you giggled, quoting the song that just came to an end and without missing a beat Nanami placed you onto the kitchen table, smiling down at your beautiful self. „Then let me give you what a good girl deserves“ he hummed in delight as he loosened his tie and stood in front of the table.
With gentle hands your clothes were removed and he placed himself between your thighs once more, kissing every inch of your soft skin, getting closer and closer to your pretty pussy. „Such a good girl“ he purred against you, letting his tongue trace over your outer labia before pressing the softest kiss directly to your clit, his thumbs spreading you open for him.
As soon as he heard a small moan, he grinned to himself, deciding not to tease you since you were such a good girl, wasting no time to let his warm tongue move over your core with small strokes and long licks, eventually focusing on your bundle of nerves - focusing on your pleasure only. You completely lost track of time while he was eating you out, unsure if it were minutes or hours that passed, mind hazy as the third orgasm ripped through your body but he was nowhere near done with you, only now inserting two of his long fingers into you with ease, your slick already running down onto the table. „Can my good girl take one more?“ he asked with a smile, chin glistening from your juices and you nodded eager. You would give him as many orgasms as he wants you to have, having missed him so much. With expertise he curled his fingers right against your sweet spot and causing your back to arch from the overwhelming pleasure it brought.
The pleasure was short lived when the fire alarm started to alarm both of you, realizing that the cookies were now burnt and smoking heavily. With an annoyed groan Nanami got up to get the sheet outside, turning the alarm off right after. The mood has been ruined but he promised you to give you the good girl treatment so he simply picked you up to carry you to the bedroom „who needs cookies when I got the best treat right here“ he hummed amused, letting you cuddle up for a moment before his hands started to wander over your skin again. A good girl deserves to be pleased and filled up until she’s satisfied after all.
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Networks: @tokyometronetwork
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warmerstranger · 10 months
Text
THE SECRET ABOUT THAT BOY
ft. yandere popular senior x gn junior reader
Inspired from the song, 'The secret about that girl' by E ve! But it's the gender-bend version of it (人*'∀`)。*゚+ would this be a songfic?
°°``Marked as and not excluding: Yandere (manipulative, boy trynna make you all jelly and shit, abuse of power, obsessive tendencies, blame pinning -not on reader-, stairs, broken bones and blood -not reader-), reader is referred as you, no beta read we die like daiki's sanity, also reader's kinda awkward and in denial of crushing </3 but that's not really the focus.
°°``2k+ words.
Recommended to read for those 16+, please proceed with caution.
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•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
Standing near the school gate with the senior whom you always admire—Daiki Junichiro—was like a dream come true. The sun begun to set though its bright glare towards you was as strong; marking the night time that stalled for you who borrowed him just a bit. Because when you heaved out an 'I love you!', you were reminded of how this scene was similar to how those romance stories goes—too good to be true. But your pounding heart served as the living proof that this moment was indeed real.
Some school security guard commented without looking up from his newspaper. “A youthful love, huh. Good luck on that.”
Refraining from rolling your eyes, you pursed your lips instead. Hurriedly at the same time a pause was rooted in place, you sorted out a proper explanation from the disorganized words piling up inside your mind.
“Um wait, so please don't misunderstand first, I just want to understand my feelings by doing this on your.. poor self haha... It's confus—I mean I'm confused whether, I truly have a crush on you which is unconfirmed obviously.” you winked reassuringly. “or I just thought that you're amazing and I really actually think so..? Ah, whatever. In short, I just want to get to know you better, sorry in advance!” you bowed.
A chill breeze washed over the stretching silence, which felt more torturous as it went on before a hearty chuckle reverberated right from the dream boy himself. “Hah—haha.. I'm sorry. It's... very much out of nowhere, I was expecting for another mindless confession to occur. But it's a wrecked train that hit me instead, spilling your feelings on me so suddenly like that. Did that help you at least?”
You blinked, unbelieving of his smile that seemed so radiant when it blurred with the dusk hue. “..hmm, I don't know yet actually.. I'm, distracted by the fact that.. this is really.... Oh, wait, let me try another.” Breathing in, you exhaled on top of other sentences. “I'm really amazed by your.. charm which is because you always... work hard being the top student and still so humble, oh and also.. uh, I forgot what I want to say. I.. you get the gist of it, surely? This is like.. a test! Yeah, just a social experiment!”
He nodded, still keeping that same smile. “Thank you for the compliment. I'm sure I could hear it for hours because it feels the most genuine. ...I hope I can be of help to you, then? I'm sure, you're greater in ways even I, an upperclassman, can't presume. People tend to know more the strength of others than themself, so... It's possible if you just haven't learn it and hone the skill tha fits you the best. If you're still here living up to this point, there will come the time for you to know.” The senior patted your shoulder before raising his hand up beside his lips as a pondering gesture. Behind his studying eyes, you could feel your soul being read through.
It was a momentary vulnerability however when he spoke up again. “How about we have a study session together? I'll be glad to help any problems you might have. The advantages will return to both of us, I could have the experience and you could get the knowledge.”
“Great idea! More better than having me keep looking up to you, it's so boring...”
You tried to scan his face that still kept a friendly smile plastered on it, then continued your talking “I.. want to be hit, I mean, by the truth!... that you're also a human like me and you have some weak points. Anyway, yeah, I want to learn more of yourself as.. a human being rather than an example or idol, I guess.” Shrugging, you sighed with an exasperated smile.
He brought a hand to conceal his grin. “Ahaha, I appreciate the honesty. You have a good start from here on out, I believe in you that you can even become more better than me.”
“Hm, okay. Well...” you ambled outside the gate with him. “Thanks for the time you spent for me, senior. See you.. tomorrow?”
“Just call me Daiki, junior. Okay? Drop the honorifics from now on, we're friends. Meet you again tomorrow! Careful on your way home.” He waved which you replied with another.
Things picked up at a rather good point that you felt hopeful for another step forward.
𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸...
The school bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Almost everyone scurried outside the class leaving only you, your best friend, and few others. Gathering your things, you stuffed them into your bag so the table were clear. When you lifted your head, there was Junichiro already standing in front of your desk. “Hey, (name), do you mind if we spend the lunch time together?”
You turned to her from your side who was accompanied by a stony face like usual. Seeing a new face, the senior reckoned. “Ah, you must be their friend? I'm Junichiro from Class 3-7, glad to meet you! If you want, you can join too, I wouldn't dare to separate you guys!” he chuckled.
She nodded. “Harune Risumi.” Before addressing you. “Lunch, your choice.”
Since you were used to having Harune around, you accepted the offer without hesitation.
“Alright.” He grinned gleefully in return.
No matter how much the conversation randomly turned out, he ended up talking the most. You and him realized when Harune made an effort to chat more—guiding the topic back on him—that Junichiro had been asking so many things about you. It prompted him to apologize because he was just really excited to know you. Only then did he begun to expand the topic related to him, while still connecting with how or what would your opinion be. But you somehow could feel the distaste about some other students he mentioned... or was it your imagination?
ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ... ♫♬♪
After school ended, you set foot into a restful cafe; abiding his advice as it would be good to study in an enjoyable environment.
Now that the ordering business was out of the way, you took out and laid the needed materials on the table. The most difficult problems were written on your notebook. A topic had then arisen in your mind when you missed his frown as if dissatisfied.
“Wh-” “He-”
You blinked, slowly registering that you cut him off. “Sorry, you can go first, senior.”
“What about we cool off our mind a bit here before starting?” he smiled softly.
“Oh, sure. I'll do it while I gather my thoughts and prepare some questions.” you nodded before sipping your drink.
“Alright.”
Concentrating intently on your topic ideas from earlier, you were unaware of how his eyes examined every slightest miniscule of change in your expression, assuming he was just looking down at the strewn notebooks on the table like you.
▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀᴇᴅ, ᴊᴜsᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ
Questions were soon traded back and forth. The utmost knowledge spilled by him; some things becoming more clear and ended up making sense. Various complains also slipped out from the two of you about the most annoying thing from some subjects. You both even laughed on silly pet peeves or habit certain teachers had.
Discreetly, he took note of that where his memory would be tested to repeat the exact words you said into the locked diary on his phone.
“It'd be good if we could still be friends even after you graduate, huh, senior?”
Daiki nodded. He will be sure to make that happen, it was an oath swore within his heart full of warmth about you to the brim.
▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ. ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴜᴍʙ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴅᴀᴡɴ.
Passing by weeks full of study sessions which were slowly changing to be only a bonding time, you started to get cozy indulging in the same tradition over and over.
All the times learned about Daiki; weaknesses, mistakes, and others while he found out yours was making your rose-tinted view of this 'perfect' upperclassman recreated to a realistic one.
That was the good thing.
The bad thing was you developed a blooming post-crush towards him that left you this urge to take the next step in a relationship with him, pushing you to refuse his next study session invitation with an explanation to end the tradition. You don't think you were ready to have things even more at risk and crumble if you were to confess. On top of that, his feelings for you does seem to regard you as his junior only...
“We don't need to have the studying session ordeal anymore. I think we already learn enough from it. We can still be good friends at least, um... To hang out once in a while?” you uttered out the words hesitantly, tone faltering near the end.
Stunned, he then frowned before suddenly smiling close-eyed. “Really? I'm glad if that's the case then! Of course we can, my offer to help are always open though!”
▶ • ılıılıılılılı ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs, ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴏɴ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ.
“No. I mean, nah, don't need to.. All those lessons.. helped me a lot! So, I want you to.. just focus catching up.. the things in your life I guess? You would graduate soon anyway! I would be happy if I can help you too, in case you need any. Thanks for everything, senior! Goodbye!”
You didn't see the early signs—a displeased frown and pair of eyes that were boring into your back...
Not long after, slowly but surely he chose to avoid you in public for unknown reasons. Keeping his distance, shortening most talks to a brief greeting.
“Damn, screwed up big time...” you plopped yourself over the table, as Harune's look swept over you in a raised brow.
“Your feeling?”
Your head turned to the side where Harune stared back, resting her head sideway on her table.
“Well... I feel like it's not fair, just because I often spend my time with him and liking him, then if I go out telling him that I have feelings for him... Things might change. He might feel really.. uncomfortable? Awful? etcetera. Man... and you see how he acts with me now, maybe he caught on to me.”
▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ’ᴍ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ sɪᴅᴇs ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ʙᴜᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ
Listening your explanation, she hummed. “About him?”
“Well I'm not him—”
Harune sat up. “Discuss. Investigate. You can try.” She scowled, her eyes held resolution. “Things are going in a wrong turn.” she muttered.
Together, you advanced on searching the person in question with a newfound determination, supported by your friend. But, he wasn't at all in his class. A girl near the class door then spoke to you. “You should know by now if you're his friend, he likes to be invited by someone who wants to confess so they're probably behind the gym building again or somethin'.”
So you then reached the said place only to discover he wasn't there. Harune speaks up. “Ask around, let's.”
Splitting off from her, you explored for possible hidden places. On your way back inside the school building, some whisper of your last name catched your ears making you stop right around the corner.
“It's real, the rumors ab...t ... and Junichiro, they were ..ing it in the student council room beca... ... meeting ... ” The voice were getting distant so you hurried over to a room on third floor.
Now, you stood outside the farthest room at the corner of hall which had a 'Student Council' tag hovering above its door.
Weighing up the choices, a sound of lock from inside decided it for you as the door was opened by the person himself.
Junichiro's bewildered widening look met your eyes, his gaze switching off faintly to a torn expression as he murmurs out a “..missed you.” you barely heard.
“Huh?
..Um.. uh, can we talk?” you asked.
“Sorry, I'm in a hurry, maybe later?” he mustered up a wry smile.
“Oh, y-yeah that's—”
He brushed off past you so suddenly you didn't get the chance to stop him. Turning away from him, you saw someone else sitting inside the room; a student from another class stared at nothing in particular with their mouth hung open a bit. “Whywhy...”
Your curiousity brought you closer to them but they suddenly screamed. “Go AWAY! Wh—” The moment they looked up to you, a realization sparked in them that they glared. “You.. you ruined my life! Can't you be gone from my liFE! Because of you—” They harshly pushed away your side and ran away.
You then took your steps out soon, again continuing to seek him out by entering directions he might had gone to and finally spotted him from far when the first hour bell already rang off.
▶ • ılıılıılılılı ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ-ɪ-ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ
Those multiplying rumors about him dating with people here and there who were either your look-alikes, had your features or name similarity didn't help your judgment either. People were also avoiding you, even portraying you in all sort of colorful words they gossiped about.
And two scene you witnessed settled it. Two times you saw him kissing two different people which you recorded and kept in your phone as precaution measures.
You racked your mind thoroughly, thinking what could possibly the reason and cause that pushed things to go this way. Poor thing you are, unaware of how his mind raced with scenarios of doing all kind of things to you if you were to replace their place. But he wouldn't do that, no, he was your perfect senior after all and things were best that way instead for him, for you. Or perhaps, he was simply feeling spiteful.
One evening at school similar to that time you first time 'confessed' to him, you confronted Junichiro in a locked room and having Harune guard it. That way, you would finally make him fess up no matter what.
Taking a deep breath, he calmly explained. “Around that time after you left, someone... dragged me off to somewhere. I think that person eavesdropped on us, and she thought... she could do whatever she wanted! By restricting my freedom to interact with you along with ways of trying to make you jealous. Or she'll...” He gripped your shoulders. “-Risumi will share negative rumors that could ruin your reputation. There's already some leaked, though, I'm sorry,” his eyes were down, wavered in a thin veil of sadness.
Keeping your mouth shut as you thought deeply, you answered. “That's unbelievable.. I...”
“I know, it must be really.. shocking for you especially since...” He shook his head slowly. “This is part of why I don't... I'm afraid to tell you.”
Unease were eating at you, so you played along with him for a bit until you went with Harune to some hidden place and telling all you knew. She proved with certainty; her alibi. She was your best friend for years even before going to the same high school together.
The truth was already obvious by that point.
Deciding to keep this between you and her, you both were going to report everything to the teacher along with prove and complete alibi.
The signs were there, but you didn't pay them much attention. That flawless image of him that he always kept up...
When you descended the stairs down with her, she fell down. Pushed.
You knew it instantly as you feel the realization dawning on you. What just transpired...
Blood leaked from her head, peeking from strands of hair, pooling under and—
“Maybe I overdid it a, huh. But I just had to. I figured she might the problem...” a voice cut in. The voice you knew very well and had grown to like. It was revealed when the voice's source walked down to approach it.
He stared at you deeply, his face blank in the dim stairwell. “Is this thing still your dear friend? Looks a bit wretched to me.”
The accident soon spread like wildfire. But with his serious expression and unshaken voice again, Junichiro cleared up everything; that it was only an accident in purpose of self-defense as she tried to harm him. His words were supported by another big lie accusing that your best friend was the villain all along because her 'motive' made sense. Smooth but powerful—the effect he held. He ended it with a confession, causing you and him to be known as a couple.
Even your school swept that incident under the rug and sealed it shut by money. Everyone was done with it. Only you knew the truth, keeping it as a treasure saved for Harune.
Like today, too, you clutched her pale hand as she lied on her white hospital bed. Your loving boyfriend put his hand over yours, but you ignored the sweet nothings he whispered that could only cut through your already wilting heart.
A demon in angel's shape you want nothing to do with anymore.
ɪғ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄᴀʟʟ
ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ
ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴᴇʀ...
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pitifulbaby · 1 year
Text
desperate
summary: I’m starving, darling. Let me put my lips to something...
pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
warnings: smutish? foreplay ( i am not good at warnings, its smutty but nothing happens fully. )
a/n: alright so i didn’t think i’d be writing and posting once again but here we are. so for like the last few days this one line from hozier’s unreleased song has been looping through my brain nonstop, so, here we are! enjoy! 866 words.
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Eddie Munson didn’t think he was a desperate man, he was used to having little to nothing and being grateful for the things he had and making do with what he’s got. Sure he was deprived of many things, but there was only so much he could do about his past. 
He didn’t like to think he was desperate for things, it made him feel weirdly selfish to be desperate for things. He wasn’t judging others for being that way, he didn’t care if a person wanted something bad they felt desperate for it. He just didn’t want that for himself.
And he was doing good with that, living with that mindset.
But then he met you. You, with your pleated skirts and sweater vests- your beat up converse paired with frilly socks. The smudged ink that seemed to always be present on your skin no matter how often you cleaned it off, it would always make its way back. The way your nose seemed to scrunch as you laughed, the way your pinky seemed to always jut out even the smallest bit when you drank anything. 
You, You, You.
Eddie never thought he would feel this way over a girl, didn’t think he would be the one to fall head over heels for someone. He just never thought love would find him, sure he wanted it, but he wasn’t desperate for it. Eddie kinda just figured if love was meant for him that it would find him eventually, but as time went on that hope seemed to fade. Well, of course until you.
He felt like a man without water and his only cure would be you. It wasn’t until you walked into his life did he realize he really was deprived, he went so long without you in his life and how he managed? That was unknown to him. How with a glance, a touch, a smile, you seemed to change the entire trajectory of his life. 
He knew the moment he saw you that you were the missing piece of his life that he never knew was missing. You were this light at the end of the tunnel, this light that hit him head on out of nowhere- you consumed his entire being in all the best ways. You suffocated him in a way that he didn’t want it to stop.
You, made Eddie Munson desperate. He needed you in every single way. 
All he knew in this moment was you, he pressed kisses across your skin, only your skirt and bra adorning your body. You were laid out against his bed, the sheets ruffled against your back and head pressed against the pillow that he favored. Your hair was creating an almost halo like effect against said pillow, it was messy yet perfect to him.
He lets out an almost shaky breath against you, on his knees as he leans over your body. His hands were placed on your waist, soft and feather light touches as he trailed his hands down to your skirt. Eddie tugged the garment down your legs and threw it over his shoulder, which in turn caused you to laugh. 
You felt him smile against your skin, his hands moving to graze at the sides of your thighs before he tugged your legs open more, staring down at you through hooded eyes. His own hair was messy- messier than usual. His shirt had been the first article of clothing to leave, a usual make out session turned more as his desperation for you seemed to grow more and more- like usual. 
“M’ starving, darlin’,” His words were slurred as he spoke to you, whenever he got like this his voice seemed to drop a bit lower, resting more in his chest. If you listened close enough you could hear the faintest accent in the moments he seemed most relaxed. The smallest tracings of a southern accent swirling through his vocal cords from being raised by a heavily southern Wayne Munson.
He turned his head to press kisses against your knee, his hands sliding up from your thighs to your hips to pull off your underwear. His movements were slow, causing you to shift your hips and whine at him, which only made him laugh this time.
Once your underwear was with your skirt somewhere thrown in his room to find later, he hummed at the sight of you. Still sitting back on his knees he shuffled closer, his jean clad thighs brushing against the back of your thighs, the cold metal of his belt chain pressing against your ass. One hand pressed flat against your stomach and the other pressed into the pillow right by your head. He leaned down so his face was inches from yours. His messy, frizzy waves creating a curtain around you that locked him in.
“Let me put my lips to something.” His words that were once slurred, now more firm and sure, an almost sinister smile curling at the corners of his lips. The hand on your stomach trailing down to cup your heat.
Eddie Munson might be completely and utterly desperate for you, but you were all the same for him.
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thebiggerbear · 4 days
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i need your hand but i don't want to burn it part 1 - Beau Arlen x Reader
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A/N: Not going to lie, this past month has been a tough one for me. I recently lost someone and it just sucked all of the energy out of me for writing or anything else. I started this back on Feb 16th, within hours of receiving the news, because I was trying to process it as well as my feelings on it all. Beau was in my mind from the very beginning because like I mentioned before, I literally had the thought "Man, I could go for a Beau hug right about now." So this took form and even though I was blocked on everything else, this became a sort of tool of processing for me. I was going to keep this just for myself because I found it to be deeply personal, but then I thought, well, what if someone out there is also currently grieving someone they lost and a little Beau comfort might make them feel better, too? Even in this scenario? So that's why I'm sharing it.
While it is personal what I go into, I changed up things to keep it fictional and sort of tell a story. So the characters and dynamics are fictional, just not the feelings of the reader and the emotional journey/grieving process she goes through if that makes sense.
Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I attempted the graphics.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Song that randomly came out of nowhere and strangely worked was "broken" by Jonah Kagen. The lyrics just really hit home for me.
Warnings: mention of death; death notification
Word Count: 8587
Beau taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @illicithallways; @muhahaha303
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It was a bright, sunny day when you got the news. The sky was this unimaginable shade of blue, not a cloud in the sky, and the temperature was a comfortable one. You were on the job and the slight breeze ruffled through your hair when you saw that your aunt was calling you. A knot immediately formed in your stomach; if she was calling you, that couldn’t be good. And sure enough, it wasn’t. 
“She’s gone,” she informed you matter-of-factly. 
It took a moment for your brain to catch up to what she was telling you. “What?”
“She’s gone, Y/N. Happened this morning.” Again, her tone was bland, as if she was simply telling you a package had been delivered to your home.
“How?” Your mind felt as if it was running in circles but also slowing down at the same time.
Poppernak’s head snapped in your direction but you immediately walked away from the scene. You didn’t notice the deputy watch after you and then head in Hoyt’s direction. 
“Stroke.” Your aunt was only willing to give you one word but that one word changed your entire world. It altered the landscape of your universe in a big way.
You nodded, forgetting that the woman couldn’t see you, and you felt a lump start to form in your throat. You forced your gaze onto some trees ahead and mentally told yourself that you would not cry. “Oh,” you choked out. So much for not allowing any emotion to bleed through.
“Yep.”
Once again, very bland, almost dry. You weren’t surprised, though. It had always been like this between you. “Um…did they say when the services will—”
“Nothing’s set in stone yet but the information will be on the obituary online. It’ll probably tell people who can’t make it where to send flowers.” And just like that, the digs began.
You ignored her attitude and quietly cleared your throat. “Okay,” you attempted to smooth over. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Ida. If there’s anything you need, please call m—”
“Oh, I’ll call you, don’t you worry. But right now, as it stands, we’re good. I have to get going. I still have to get to the funeral home and make all the arrangements. I’ll be talking to you soon.” Before you could say goodbye, she hung up.
You let out a heavy sigh before lowering your phone from your ear. You focused on the trees once more, pushing any thoughts away and stuffing your emotions back down. When you felt confident enough that you wouldn’t break, you turned to find Hoyt and Poppernak watching you worriedly from near the crime scene tape. You sighed once more and then began your walk over to answer the burning questions they appeared to have. 
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You were driving back home on autopilot, lost in a sea of memories that forced a single tear out onto your cheek every now and then, prompting you to wipe each one away quickly. Your phone began to ring and as you expected, Beau’s name popped up. Well, that had to be some kind of record for Hoyt. Though, you supposed in these circumstances, you couldn’t blame her and you could appreciate her difficult position. She was only supposed to call Beau if there was an emergency but if she didn’t let him know that she sent you home for the rest of the day after receiving the news of a loved one’s passing, then she’d most likely be in hot water. In trouble with you or in trouble with Beau? It wasn’t hard to see why she made the choice she did. 
Beau was on vacation and you hated for that to be interrupted, especially due to this. He worked his ass off every single day and he deserved this time. He had offered to take Cassie and Kai fishing and camping, after the date passed that the two were supposed to have gone with her dad who had been killed. Kai was excited and Cassie was grateful when Beau made the offer. You and Hoyt were happy for them. Beau had even tried to entice Emily to fly up for a visit and go with them, but Carla put a quick stop to that with the mention of school and it being Emily’s senior year. To say Beau had been disappointed was a massive understatement.
And now, he was most likely spending his time worrying about you alongside teaching Kai how to catch trout and attempting to keep Cassie laughing and her spirits high. You almost didn’t answer, because you didn’t want to be one more thing he had to worry about and also because you didn’t feel like talking, but in the end you did. To reassure him if for nothing else.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he greeted back, sounding worried just like you had predicted. “You okay?”
You briefly closed your eyes in annoyance at Hoyt. Despite your initial understanding, this really wasn’t something she needed to call him about. Someone else, yes, but for you, no. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you reassured him. “Hoyt just thought it best that I take the rest of the day, clear my head, and come back fresh tomorrow. That’s all.”
A moment of quiet passed between you as he likely mulled over your answer. Accepting it, he then offered, “Do you need anything?”
You cleared your throat to keep the lump at bay. “Nope. Thanks, though.”
“If you don’t mind my asking, who passed?”
You pressed your lips together, not really wanting to answer, but he’d find out eventually. “My grandmother.”
Sure enough, his tone softened. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He knew how deeply this one would cut.
You swallowed past the lump again and forced out quietly, “Thanks, but it’s fine. It was expected at some point, you know?”
“Yeah. Doesn’t make it any easier though, does it?” Beau lost his parents back when you had worked together in Houston. His dad had passed unexpectedly due to a heart attack. Everyone had been shocked, of course, but it hit Beau’s mom the hardest. It wasn’t too long after that when she started developing her own health issues and began declining. Beau’s father had only been gone for a year and a half when he lost his mom as well. You and your unit were there for him, giving him your unending support, and half of the department had showed up to the funeral, just as they had the senior Mr. Arlen’s. Not only was Beau well liked and respected but his family were no strangers to law enforcement; his dad had served on the force for decades before he finally retired. 
What you were feeling now in no way rivaled the loss he had endured back then. He not only had lost a parent, but he lost both in a short time frame. You couldn’t imagine how you would be feeling had that been you. You doubted you would be able to stand up much less continue to function day to day like he had. You wished you could borrow some of his strength, something you could use right about now.
“True.”
Another moment of quiet filled the car tainted by uncertainty and an almost alien awkwardness. That wasn’t the norm for the two of you but this situation also wasn’t the norm. Being your best friend and having known you for a long time, Beau knew some of your history but not all of it. What little you had told him had been enough for him to know this wasn’t a topic you liked to revisit and he needed to leave well enough alone. So he’d happily compensate and regale you with funny stories of the hijinks he and his brother used to get up to when they were younger instead. He didn’t push for more than you were willing to give and that was something you deeply appreciated about him.
And right now, you appreciated him even more for not pressing you for details or trying to make small talk around the huge elephant that was currently sitting on top of you. An elephant in the form of your grandmother, an elderly woman who helped raise you who you had a…complicated relationship with to say the least. You tried to think back to one of the last times you had seen her but you really couldn’t remember. The memory was there somewhere, on the edge of your mind, just out of reach. Instead, a memory resurfaced of a younger you holding onto her hand as you crossed a busy crosswalk in the city, wearing one of your best dresses with tights, shoes, a very proper coat with gold buttons done up, and a ribbon in your long hair. You had been on your way to see a play that she managed to get tickets for and you remembered that moment of her immediately shielding you as a car nearly hit you both, ignoring the traffic light as well as all of the pedestrians crossing. You couldn’t remember the heated exchange between her and the driver of the yellow cab, but you did remember her hurrying you to safety and then kneeling down to check that you were okay. You could see the determination in her light eyes shadowed by a layer of fear as she did up the top two buttons of your fancy coat and smoothed a hand down your hair. She had protected you and basically saved your life. The memory shocked you with its reappearance; you hadn’t thought about that one in a long time. You had to have been around six years old when that happened.  
Beau cleared his throat quietly. “Listen, I’m on my way back.”
That jerked you out of your reverie. “What? No, Beau, don’t. I’m fine. You’re on vacation and so is Cassie. Kai was excited to go on this trip, don’t cut it short. I appreciate it but I’d rather your plans didn’t get interrupted.”
“I already talked to Cassie and she’s in agreement. We’re heading back. She talked to Kai and he understands. We’re going to try this again next month.”
The guilt was thick inside your chest. He had been trying for a while now to get Cassie to agree to a fishing trip with him, and he’d only just convinced her. “Beau…”
“Already done,” he assured you. “We’re packing up now actually. Besides, you’re going to need some time and Hoyt’s going to need backup.”
“I told you, I’m fine and I’ll be back to work tomorrow. You don’t have to—”
“You’re going to need the time for the services. Any idea on when they might be yet?”
You pressed your lips together and glanced in your rearview mirror. “Not yet.”
He heard what you weren’t saying. “Well, it just happened. Give ‘em some time and they’ll sort it out,” he offered gently.
“Yeah,” you muttered. 
“You set up a flight yet?”
You shook your head, forgetting for a moment that he couldn’t see you. “No.”
“I should be back later tonight. I’ll come over and help you sort all of that out.”
It hit you in that moment that Beau was going to be seeing you in a few hours’ time. A part of you was relieved but another part of you wasn’t ready to let him in just yet. Not that you didn’t trust him (he was the person you trusted most actually) and not that he didn’t know how to be there for you, but something was stopping you from letting him.
“You’re going to be back late. How about you just stop by in the morning on your way to the office?”
You didn’t need to see Beau to know he was taken aback at your suggestion. “It’s not going to be that late,” he tried again. “I was thinking, if you didn’t mind, I could just stay at your place for the night. It’d be a shorter drive for me to the station tomorrow.” 
You knew it would be and you knew he was just looking out for you, being there for you should you need him, but weirdly, that was the last thing you wanted right now. “I appreciate it, but it’s going to be a long drive and you still need to drop Cassie off. I’ll look up flights when I get home. You just focus on driving and let me know when you made it back okay.”
“Y/N—”
“Someone is calling me from a New York number. It could be important. I have to go. Drive safe, alright?” 
“Darlin’, just—”
“Thank you for calling, Beau. It means a lot.” You meant that last part, you really did. You quickly disconnected the call before he could speak again. There was no call from New York, of course, and you know he knew that, but you just needed a second to think. You put your phone on silent and continued the drive to the small house you had put a down payment on when Beau had convinced you to move here to join him about a year or so before.
You ran a hand through your hair and sighed, feeling majorly conflicted. You wanted nothing more than one of Beau’s comforting hugs but at the same time, you didn’t want to be touched or comforted. You didn’t want anyone’s awkward condolences like Hoyt had offered you earlier after Poppernak told her you might have received some kind of bad news. You didn’t want to talk or cry or try to distract yourself from reality in any way, shape, or form. You wanted to just be. 
And considering where you would be flying to in the next twenty four hours, you needed as much time to process and compartmentalize as you could get.
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There was no processing or compartmentalizing happening. Your brain was a chaotic mess at best. Your thoughts were all over the place, same with your emotions, and yet somehow you still felt numb and in shock. 
Not only did memories play on a loop inside your head but you could not form one single coherent thought. You had walked past your full sink of dishes at least four times before you remembered you were going to stack them in the dishwasher. You had to remind yourself that you hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning, preferring your usual coffee, and you had to eat something now that it was late afternoon so you could satiate the loudly rumbling hungry beast known as your stomach. You barely tasted the food or the beer you chose to wash it down with. 
At some point, you had pulled out a shoebox you kept carefully hidden away in a closet and began to go through old photos you kept stashed alongside a few Christmas and birthday cards over the years. You studied your grandmother in each photo and whether it was a blessing or a curse, you weren’t sure which yet, you could hear her voice and even her laughter in your mind. You could hear her yelling, too, but your brain pushed those memories away, knowing you weren’t ready to deal with that just yet.
You came across one picture of the two of you. You were in high school and had just received an award. You two were standing outside of the school and neither of you were embracing or smiling too widely. One of your aunts had asked you both to take the picture, to mark the special occasion, but the truth was, you two had been arguing most of the day, practically up until the ceremony. Just one of the many arguments you both had over the years where you didn’t see eye to eye.
You dug deeper into the box until you pulled out a special group of photos in an envelope. You took a sip of beer, a deep breath, and then opened it. These were pictures of your parents, gone in a freak accident when you were barely kindergarten age. You smiled down at the photos of the two of them with a baby version of you. No matter where you were or who took the picture, all of you appeared to be happy. Sadly, you didn’t remember those times too much, the memories too hazy and existing on that fine line between reality and fantasy. You only remembered the sorrow, the pain, and the devastation their sudden absence left. 
You came across a photo of you and your mother, but this time, your grandmother was also included. You must have been two years old and you were grinning widely from your mother’s lap at the older woman who smiled brightly back at you. You had even reached out your hands to her, almost as if you had been asking her to pick you up. You stared hard at the picture, almost as if trying to remember that exact moment in time so you could then remember the feeling.
Your phone ringing loudly made you jump and jerked you out of your concentration. You placed the photo down and sighed. You had put your phone back on when you arrived home a few hours ago and though he hadn’t called, Beau had sent you a few texts. It was more of him offering to come over, to be there for you, and to help with anything you needed. You had immediately swiped the notifications off of your screen; you couldn’t deal with that or anything else right now. You appreciated it but you just needed some time…some space actually. Just until you could get your head on straight. 
You picked your phone up and glanced at the screen, surprised to see your cousin’s name flashing back at you.
Your brows furrowed and you immediately picked up the call. “Lucy? What’s wrong?”
“Hey,” she greeted you though her usual cheery voice lacked its usual enthusiasm. While you didn’t keep in touch with most of your family, Lucy had been the exception. You weren’t close by any means but her texts and calls didn’t always go ignored. “Aunt Ida said she called you today to tell you about Gran. How are you holding up?”
You shrugged. “As well as can be expected, I guess. How are you doing?” Lucy had been just as close with the grandmother you shared while growing up but she had also stayed within the family unit while you bolted. She and her husband, John, even purchased a home two blocks away from where your grandmother lived. 
“Um, I’m okay,” she sighed into the phone. “It’s sad and not the way we expected but we all kind of knew it was coming.”
“Yeah,” you whispered, taking another sip of beer. 
“I know it might sound horrible to say but it’s kind of a relief. For Gran, I mean. She’s no longer suffering. You know, after the past couple of years…”
You felt a familiar surge of guilt start up in your chest again, and a burning feeling began in the corners of your eyes. “Yeah,” you repeated. You both stayed quiet for a moment, each thinking back to Gran’s initial diagnosis of Alzheimer’s more than five years ago and how it had quickly progressed, especially during the pandemic years. 
Lucy finally broke the silence. “So, um, I was just wondering if you were going to be flying in tomorrow.”
Your brows mashed together again. “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. For the visitation the next day.”
Your head began to whirl. Perhaps it was the beer and you had misheard her. Though, you had only had two, maybe in conjunction with what you were feeling, you weren’t thinking straight. “Wait, wait. The visitation is the day after tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Luy sounded unsure why you were asking. “And the funeral will be the next morning. That’s why I was thinking you would probably be flying in tomorrow.”
“Aunt Ida told me that she had no idea when the services would be yet but she would let me know.”
“Oh.”
You could practically hear her nerves through the phone. “Lucy,” you warned. “When were the plans finalized?”
“Um…”
“Lucy.”
“Yesterday?” She nearly squeaked out.
That hit you like a gut punch. “Yesterday? I thought Gran just died this morning!”
Now you could really hear the nervousness in Lucy’s voice. “She, um, she passed on Monday morning.”
The fury working its way through your veins felt like molten fire. “Today is Wednesday!”
Lucy knew better than to answer that. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I thought Aunt Ida explained when she said she spoke to you this morning. She was dealing with a lot and—”
“--couldn’t be bothered to tell me, I get it. But why didn’t you call me?” The tears building were practically burning your pupils. Your grandmother had passed away two days ago and no one could be bothered to tell you.
“I-I wanted to, Y/N. I really did but, Aunt Ida said—”
Your jaw tensed and you nearly slammed your bottle down on the floor next to you as you got to your feet, all too certain what Aunt Ida had said. While Lucy was a kinder soul than most in your biological family, she also lacked a backbone when it came to your older female relatives.
“Forget it,” you hissed, roughly wiping away tears that had escaped down your cheeks. “I’ll be arriving tomorrow. Is the obituary up or was she bullshitting me on that one, too?”
“N-No, they just posted it today. It’s actually quite nice. I think you’ll—”
“Send me the link,” you ordered before you hung up and quickly began scanning available flights as you hurried into your bedroom to begin packing.            
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It was late when you landed, your flight having been slightly delayed. Not that it mattered to you; if you could have delayed the flight altogether, you would have. But that wasn’t possible and neither was you staying in Helena. As angry as you were, you refused to let it keep you from doing the right thing. Plus, when you called the station earlier to tell Hoyt you wouldn’t be back until Monday, she had insisted you take the bereavement time available to you (more like ordered you) and see to your family, wishing you well. Normally, you would have put your foot down and flat out refused, content to hole up in a corner of the office and burrow yourself into work, but you knew she was right. You had to attend the services; you owed Gran that much at least.
You nodded a thanks to the cheery but tired flight attendant as she thanked you for flying with their airlines, and ambled down the bridge towards the airport. Thankfully, due to the late hour, there weren’t many people milling about and you were unencumbered from making your way down the escalator towards Baggage Claim. 
While waiting for the carousel to start up, your phone started vibrating. You glanced at the screen, sighing when you saw the name pop up that had been popping up on and off all day.
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You immediately rejected the call and slipped your phone back into silent mode. But before you could hit the button, a text snuck its way through to display on your screen.
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You felt bad reading the message previews and you certainly weren’t trying to ignore your best friend but you just needed some time to process all of this on your own. You had sent him one quick text earlier telling him not to come by since you wouldn’t be home. You also told him you would call him as soon as you were able. Apparently, he was ignoring that last text going by his several attempts to make contact. You weren’t trying to stonewall him, you really weren’t, but you had to go into this with a clear head. Or as clear a head as you could have in these circumstances. Wasn’t that something he always said before you two went into anything dangerous on the job?
Speaking of the job, it wasn’t that you hadn’t seen your fair share of death, mostly in ghoulish evil ways that people had come up with in order to hurt each other, and it’s not that your grandmother’s passing wasn’t expected to happen at some point like Lucy had said. But you hadn’t been prepared for how you would feel when it did and you certainly hadn’t been prepared for it to happen now.
Conflicting emotions roiled in your head and churned in your stomach. Your empty stomach from that all-too familiar discomfort you’d gotten frequently during your career. The lunch you’d eaten earlier had made a reappearance after Lucy’s phone call. You would have to get some food and soon, but where you would get that at this late hour except a greasy diner, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. Not that it mattered, either. The very thought of food made an altogether different unpleasant sensation roll in your stomach. Emptiness versus nausea…fun.
Eventually, your other suitcase made its way to you and you quickly scooped it up. You ordered a Lyft, scoffing when you noticed the wait time was a half hour, possibly more, for a pickup. How was that even possible? This was an airport! At this rate, you’d be better off taking a cab but that was bound to be pricier than the Lyft. You heaved a great sigh and plopped down on your larger suitcase, resting your chin in your hand as you waited. Eventually, you whipped out your phone and decided to mindlessly scroll through your Instagram. You weren’t a fan of the app or any social media really but Em had made an account for you one day when you had unwisely left your phone sitting on one of Beau’s deck chairs while helping him pack Pedro for a camping trip he was taking her on. You quickly got bored of any new content on your feed, since there weren't any updates from anyone you actually cared about, and swiped over to your profile.
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A glimmer of a smile appeared on your face when you saw the picture Em had taken of herself and her dad, posting it for you after she saw your Houston photo and labeled it a semi-pathetic attempt at a first post. Your eyes scanned through your meager posting and the picture of Poppernak that you had taken one day near the end of your shift reminded you why you wouldn’t be working with your beloved partner the next few days. Your smile immediately disappeared and you clicked out of the app, powered down the screen, and slipped the phone into your jacket pocket.
Luckily, only a little while later, your Lyft finally arrived. After loading your suitcases into the back with the driver’s help, you were on your way to the only hotel in town. You stared out the window as the scenery passed by. Your driver, Antonio, had tried to make small talk but thankfully begged off when he noticed you weren’t too talkative, most likely chalking it up to the late flight and you being tired. Familiar landmarks came into view as he turned onto another street and memories started to flood your mind. You shut your eyes, as if to keep them out, and it miraculously held them at bay a little longer. You then settled your gaze on the back of the driver seat, refusing to look out the windows until you arrived at your destination. 
You’d have time enough to wallow in memories and regret the next few days. No reason to rush it. 
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As soon as you checked into your hotel room, you immediately jumped in the shower. It always made you feel better after traveling and the flight had felt excruciatingly long this go around. That could have had something to do with you coming from Montana, though. The few flights you’d taken from Texas back in the day had definitely been shorter.
You wrapped yourself in a towel, your damp hair spilling down your back, and started going through one of your suitcases to find body lotion. Once you found the bottle, before you could begin lathering it up in your hands, your phone vibrated on your night stand.
You heaved a sigh and glanced over, seeing you had another missed call from Beau, and yet another text.
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You nearly rolled your eyes, knowing he would make good on this threat if you didn’t check in with him at least once before you went to sleep. And that was the last thing you needed right now.
You slipped in your earbuds, hit his name, then the phone icon, and switched it over to bluetooth as you began to moisturize your skin. He answered it in two rings.
“Hey,” he gruffed out before clearing his throat. “About time you called me back.”
You ignored how hearing his voice immediately made your chest feel that little bit lighter and your shoulders release some of the tension you’d been carrying around the past day. “Yeah, well, when someone threatened to put a BOLO on my ass, I responded real quick. That’s all I need, this town’s cops pounding on my door, in addition to everything else.” You had meant it to come out teasingly but your voice had betrayed your aggravation. You regretted it the moment the words were out of your mouth. You knew Beau was just worried about you, that he cared about you, and wanted to make sure you were alright. In all fairness, you could have at least sent him a text to let him know you landed but you were tired and didn’t feel like talking. He would have understood. He wasn’t the asshole in this scenario; you were.
“I’m sorry about that,” he offered gently and you could hear the genuine remorse in his tone. “I wasn’t trying to give you a hard time but damn, Y/N, not one single text to let me know you’re still alive?”
You flinched at the last word and started applying the lotion more aggressively. You were eager to be done with this call, with everything, so you could crash and finally get some much needed shut-eye. You hadn’t slept much in the past forty eight hours, probably stress from the job (it happened sometimes), and you were feeling it.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have said that.” More remorse.
“It’s fine,” you muttered, popping the cap on the bottle closed and placing it on the nightstand. “Well, now that you know that I’m fine, no BOLO’s are necessary.”
“Y/N, I didn’t—”
You knew you didn’t really have a right to be angry with him but you also didn’t have the bandwidth for dealing with anyone or anything right now. You appreciated his concern and him checking on you, but all you wanted to do was hit the sack and evade consciousness for a few hours. “Listen, it’s super late, I just got in because it was a late flight and delayed at that. I’m exhausted. So if we could…” You left it open-ended, hoping he’d just take the hint and say goodnight.
You heard some rustling on the other end and you realized he must have been in bed already when you called. You quickly glanced at the alarm clock and thought over the time difference. It wasn’t even 10:30 yet back in Helena and Beau was already going to sleep for the night? That was odd. Then again, he was now a deputy sheriff down and Hoyt would need the backup in case something came up. Plus, you knew he had cut his vacation short to rush back to Helena. He was probably just as exhausted as you were, possibly more so. “Y/N… You’re not shutting down on me, are you?”
You practically did a double take at the question. “What? No! I’m not. What, I’m tired and want to go to sleep after the long day I’ve had and that’s suddenly me shutting down on you? Seriously? All because I didn’t answer a few texts or pick up one of your many phone calls?” You had no idea why but that question majorly pissed you off. The logical part of you knew you were overreacting to a genuinely concerned question from your best friend but your temper seemed to be off to the races; you couldn’t stop it if you tried. “I get that you’re a grade A worry-er and everything but I’m not some goddamn child you need to check up on every ten minutes for Christ’s sake!” In your rush of anger, you hadn’t even realized just how much your voice had raised. Not until there was a deafening silence in the room and on the other end once you finished your little tirade.
“I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you were, darlin’,” he spoke calmly.
“Don’t you darlin’ me. Don’t you dare patronize me with that shit, Arlen. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare.” Your chest felt immediately tight again and tension filled your body once more. You huffed out an angry breath and decided the best thing for you to do in this situation was to end the call as soon as possible. “Look, you wanted to know I’m still alive, now you know. I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me and texting me all the time while I’m here and threatening me when you don’t hear back from me right away. That’s the last fucking thing I need on top of everything else,” you snapped.
Beau remained quiet but you could still hear his breathing on the other end so you knew he was listening to your ranting.
“Now, I’m going to bed. I appreciate the check in but it’s unnecessary. When the services are over and I’m going to head back, I’ll let you know.”
Still nothing.
“Good night, Beau.” You hung up and angrily tossed your phone onto the bed with your earbuds before heading back to the bathroom so you could blow dry your hair.
You thought over the entire conversation. You felt slightly bad that you had lost your temper with him when he was just making sure you were okay but God, you didn’t need that right now. What you needed was to get through the next few days so you could return to your life, your normal routine, as fast as possible. The best way you could do that was to keep going, not allowing yourself time to think, and get this done.
A twinge of guilt surged in your chest when you had that thought. You hadn’t meant anything disrespectful towards your grandmother or to insinuate that you didn’t care that she had died when you were thinking that. It was just…things were already going to be difficult, if your Aunt Ida’s attitude on the phone had been any indication as well as her behavior so far. If it hadn’t been for Lucy’s call earlier and the obituary link she texted you, you wouldn’t have even known when the services were going to be so you could grab the first flight out. Yes, things were bound to be difficult and tense until this was over.
You unplugged your hair dryer in a huff and finished getting ready to go to sleep. Beau just needed to give you space. Your life in Montana had nothing to do with anyone or anything here and you were determined to keep it that way. Texas never did despite your few trips back over the years; Big Sky Country wasn’t going to either.
You supposed you shouldn’t have been surprised at the text message notification on your screen when you lit up your phone.
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You felt that twinge of guilt again but this time in your heart. Beau hadn’t deserved what you had unleashed on him before. He was a good man and he hadn’t done anything wrong. You were mentally kicking yourself as you hurriedly dressed for bed and snuggled under the sheets. You stared at your screen, your thumb hovering over his name, the desire strong within you to call him and apologize. You yearned to hear his voice one more time, even if it was just him talking and you listening, him giving you hell for the things you had said in anger earlier. Hell, you almost wished he was here with you so you could fold yourself into his arms and burrow into his chest, letting his Texan drawl wash over your ear as he assured you everything would be alright. And you could stay there as long as you wanted, safe and comforted, not having to face the world or how it had changed so drastically for you with one phone call.
After a minute of indecision, you decided to let things be, get some rest, and then call him tomorrow to apologize when you were a little more clear-headed. And God, you hoped you would be more clear-headed. You powered down your screen and turned the light off, getting into a more comfortable position. You closed your eyes and tried to let the silence settle over you to start lulling you into sleep. 
A few minutes passed by of you unsuccessfully getting your mind to stop racing, constantly replaying your phone call with Beau, the phone call from your aunt, what Lucy’s call revealed (though you shouldn’t have been surprised), what you would be facing come tomorrow, and everything that entailed. Almost as if it was a track on repeat. Finally, you let out a loud huff and reached for the TV remote, turning the television on. You channel surfed until you landed on a rerun of The Golden Girls. You tried to get into the episode; the series was an old favorite that you loved. But when you saw Sophia talking to her granddaughter, you winced and decided that the show wasn’t for you right now. You continued to click through channels until you found an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. The minute Marie walked through the youngest Barone’s household, giving her daughter-in-law a glare, you let out another wince. You finally settled on The Weather Channel and stared at the screen while the woman talked about the highs and lows expected for the next week in the area. You noticed that rain showers were being forecast for the day of the burial. How apt. And just like that, you knew your brain wasn't going to let you get any rest.
You sighed and tossed the remote away from you and rubbed your hands down your tired face. So much for sleeping.
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The next day, you arrived at a familiar red-colored house with white trim, stepping up onto the old wooden porch. You could already hear a low buzz coming from inside as voices batted back and forth in conversation mixed with the sounds of young children running around and playing. One voice stuck out to you from all the rest and it made you tense up. A part of you wanted to turn around and retreat back to your hotel room.
You briefly closed your eyes and took a deep breath. No. You were not going to avoid this. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You could do this. You would do this. You were an adult now, you had your own life, and you were a deputy sheriff for Christ’s sake. You dealt with dead bodies, assaults, and much scarier criminals every single day. You refused to turn around and leave with your head hanging down.
As if to ensure you wouldn’t be able to leave, without your permission, your hand lifted and gave two confident raps on the front door. You could hear the chatter pause long enough that you knew they had heard the sounds. You straightened up and squared your shoulders, making sure you were holding your head high just like you did during work hours. It was a silly fleeting thought but you almost wished you were wearing your badge on your belt, having it near as some layer of invisible protection.
Before you could scoff internally at yourself, the door yanked open and there stood the older woman you hadn’t wanted to deal with. You hadn’t seen her in years and while her sandy hair was mixed with more gray and her face sported a few more lines resulting in an even harsher scowl than you remembered, the dark eyes full of contempt whenever they focused on you remained the same. 
You didn’t smile, tear up, or surge forward for a hug, and neither did she. “Aunt Ida,” you greeted. 
“Y/N,” she replied icily. “So you decided to show up for the services after all?”
You could feel your teeth set on edge but you schooled your features. You weren’t going to let her little digs get at you and you would be damned to let her see it if they somehow did. You weren’t fourteen anymore. “I did. Mind if I come in?”
Her beady eyes gave you a once over and she practically sneered before stepping back and opening the door a little wider. Not exactly a warm invitation but an invitation nonetheless. You gave her a nod and took it, ignoring the tiny snort of derision she let out as you did.
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You sat uncomfortably on the old couch that you had hated as a kid. Aunt Ida had insisted this couch was for entertaining, not for young children to watch television on or jump on or do anything on really. The seat was practically as rigid as your aunt.
You silently wondered what Beau was up to now as a temporary means of mentally escaping this situation. You had tried to call him before you came over here but his phone had gone straight to voicemail. You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little hurt and a little let down that you hadn’t been able to speak with him. He had told you to call him anytime, that he was there for you despite the harsh words you had launched at him the previous night, but the one time you actually tried to reach out, he hadn’t been available. You hadn’t been prepared for the beep of the voicemail, signaling you to talk, and you ended up leaving him the most awkward message you had ever left someone. “Hey. It’s me. …I’m sorry. Call me back when you get this, okay? Or if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I’ll understand, but…it would be really nice to hear your voice. Well…you know what I mean. Anyway, just call me back…if you want.” That had been four hours ago. And granted, he was three hours behind you now, but you knew he would already be up, getting ready for the day. So why was his phone off?
You had chastised yourself out loud after hanging up the phone, telling yourself that he was probably in the middle of something for a case that he got called in on overnight and couldn’t be disturbed. How many times did you have to do the same? You had scowled at yourself in the bathroom mirror while putting the finishing touches on your foundation. “What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N? You need to get a fucking grip.” In perhaps an immature move that you were glad no one else was around to witness, you stuck your tongue out at yourself and shook your head, muttering “Stop being such an asshole already”, and walked out the door.
And now you were here, in the house you didn’t really want to be in, surrounded by people that you didn’t really want to be around. Well, perhaps that last thought was harsh. There was really only one person you didn’t really want to see and she had been the one to let you in the door.
You quickly glanced around the room you were in, noting not much had changed since you had been here last, when you had left this town in your rearview mirror and didn’t look back. Even the scent you hated as a child was still the same: a mix of old lady perfume and stale cookies. You could feel nausea starting up in your stomach but thankfully you hadn’t eaten anything before you came here. 
Your Uncle Mason, who sat on your right, gave you a tight smile when he noticed you surveying the room. 
“Still looks the same, huh?” He offered.
“Exactly the same,” you agreed without looking at him.
Your cousin, Lucy, sat in the stiff armchair on your left and looked around as well, smiling. “I like that it hasn’t changed since we were kids. A lot of good memories happened here.” 
Your gaze dropped to the oak coffee table that still had the scratch in it from when you were a child and didn’t know any better. That was one of your countless infractions your aunt had held against you. “Yeah, good memories,” you muttered. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mason tense a little and Lucy fidgeting nervously.
You all heard Aunt Ida finish up her conversation and hang up the old handset before she made her way into the room. “That was the funeral home. There was an issue with the plot next to Dad but it’s been resolved.”
“What kind of issue?” Uncle Mason asked.
“Payment,” Aunt Ida spat out as she sat down before turning a fresh glare on you. “I hope you’re not here thinking there’s any money waiting for you and that’s why you decided to show up.”
You nearly ground your teeth together but forced yourself to remain calm. “Of course not. I’m here for Gran.”
She scoffed and shook her head. “Only took her dying, right?”
Lucy struggled to her feet, her round belly acting as an obstacle, but she managed. “You know, I don’t hear the kids anymore. I’m going to go check on them and be right back.” She then hurried out of the room; if she could have run, you bet she would be sprinting towards the backyard her kids had been urged out into when you had arrived. You couldn’t blame her. You would be, too.
“Ida,” Mason attempted to admonish his sister. “Now is not the time.”
“Then when is it?” She snapped, making Mason shrink back, before she turned her scowl back onto you. “Why else would you show up? It’s not like you came when she needed help, when we all needed help with her. You didn’t visit her once while she was in the nursing home. Not once when she was in the hospital.”
Your jaw tensed and you felt the familiar twinge of guilt deep within. “You told me not to come, Aunt Ida,” you reminded her.
She barked out a laugh. “Is that how you heard it?”
“That’s how I heard it because that’s exactly how you said it.” You didn’t look away when she was slightly taken aback by your reply. You refused to back down from this one. You reminded yourself that you were no longer a child; you were a grown woman who didn’t have to take her shit anymore. You were no longer dependent on her or anyone else in this family for anything though when you were, she had only been too happy to make you feel like crap for it every single day of your existence.
The woman shook her head, laughing at you. “Right. You’re some big shot cop now, right? Too good for us lowly citizens.” She smirked over at Mason in collusion, though her brother was shaking his head, refusing to meet her gaze. That angered her further and the glare she settled on you was worse than before. “It’s obvious why you’re really here. Like I said, there’s no money for you. Anything she had left went to the payments for the nursing home and her funeral. And what she had left was pretty much nothing. So if you came here expecting a payout from her will, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.” 
You lifted your chin slightly higher in defiance of her accusations. “And like I said, Aunt Ida, I didn’t come here for anything other than to pay my respects to Gran, and to help where I can.” Your voice softened a little at the thought of your grandmother. “She would have wanted that.”
The other woman scoffed once more but didn���t say more due to the doorbell ringing. 
“I’ll get it,” Mason hurried to offer and then nearly rushed from the room, leaving you and Ida in one hell of a glaring contest.
“I’m only trying to do right by Gran,” you assured her.
“Too little, too late,” she hissed.
You unclenched your jaw and took a quiet breath. “Yeah,” you reluctantly agreed. “Suppose you’re right.” Right then and there you decided that once you were back in Montana, you would sever all ties, this time permanently. You owed nothing to this woman or to any of them, regardless of any blood you shared. The one person you might have owed something to once upon a time was no longer alive. If anything, you were being quickly reminded why you had left this house all those years ago and hadn’t come back.
Ida harrumphed and continued to shake her head.
You were about to stand and leave, having had more than enough in this one little exchange with your aunt, and tell her to call you if she or anyone needed anything before the wake, when Mason returned and a familiar figure filled the entryway to the room. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped.
There stood the very man you had been trying to get a hold of earlier, giving you one of his warm smiles. You could see slight rings of shadow underneath his eyes that were similar to yours that you had been sporting this morning before using concealer. Exhaustion lined his face but so did relief. His green eyes that were centered on you softened slightly and in that moment, you knew everything that had happened the night before had been forgiven. He was here, for you.
You didn’t remember making the decision to move when you hurried over to him, Mason barely able to get out of your way before you launched yourself at Beau who immediately wrapped his arms around you, practically picking you up off the floor. You squeezed your eyes shut to keep any tears from coming out and burrowed into his neck, happy to breathe in the familiar scent of his cologne. No one said anything and for that you were grateful. You didn’t want anything to shatter the one good moment you’d had in the past two days.
Eventually, when you felt like you wouldn’t break down in tears and you had yourself under pretty good control, you choked out in a whisper, “You’re here.”
“Damn right I am, darlin’,” he confirmed into your ear, making you smile as you heard that Texan drawl you loved so much. The tension in his body relaxed though his hold on you did not. You felt him press a kiss to your hair before hugging you even tighter. “I’m here.”
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0and0its0doctor0 · 1 year
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So I'll leave you gagged and bound
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(Song that inspired the fic) Unsub!Spencer Reid x Reader Aaron Hotchner x Reader TRIGGERS: Kidnapping, Light blood, Forced kissing, Knives, minor violence, mentions of drugs Summary: You have been dating Aaron Hotchner for a few months and when he introduces you to the team Spencer Reid can't help but fall in love. The problem is Spencer's mental health is declining and fast. When he gets fired and realizes he has nothing to lose...he takes you. Will Aaron find you in time?
WC: 1,925
Why was your head throbbing? Your eyes blinked slowly open and you winced at the harsh overhead light that assaulted your blurry vision, Spencer was standing directly in front of you. You tried to move and that was when you realized you couldn’t. You tried to scream. “Shh. Shh. Shh.” Spencer said gently caressing a hand along the length of your face. His thumb wiped the drool dripping down your chin from the cloth that was stuffed in your mouth. His fingers trailed down your arms to the rope wrapping your wrists together behind the chair that you were bound to. He checked the tightness making sure that they weren’t hurting you, not yet at least. 
You whimpered as he caressed your face again and you sharply turned your head away from the touch. He roughly grabbed your chin, squeezing it and turning your face back so you were looking at him again. “None of that. Eyes forward.” He said, giving you a smile as he leaned forward and kissed your lips the best he could with the gag in your mouth. His thumbs gently brushed the tears off your cheeks and you lunged at him not getting very far since you were tied to a chair. Spencer chuckled and took a step back clapping. “Now there’s the fire I fell in love with.” He said fondly. 
You struggled violently in the chair, the rope digging into your sore flesh. The rope burn was the least of your worries at the moment. You tried arguing and yelling but your words were distorted and muffled by the cloth. This wasn’t exactly how you were planning on spending your day. You were walking to your car in the parking garage after visiting Aaron when you were hit over the head with something hard. You could feel blood trickling down the side of your face. You still couldn’t believe it was Spencer Reid standing in front of you. You had met Spencer when Aaron introduced you to the team. You had been dating Aaron for a few months now and had met the team a small handful of times. You tried to talk again even though your words just came out as more drool. 
“Let's get this off you.” He said leaning forward to unwrap the towel from your face. “Why are you doing this?” You asked, a shakiness to your voice. “Well Hotch fired me. Something about mental health. I was becoming ‘unhinged.’ I had feelings for you the second Hotch introduced you to us. I realized now, I really had nothing to lose and I wanted you bad, so I decided if I can’t have you, no one gets to have you.” He said, holding the knife up watching as it glinted in the light. 
You gulped and winced as the blade touched the skin of your shoulder. He drug it across your skin watching as goosebumps followed in its wake till he got to the strap of your dress. A quick flick of the wrist and the strap fell down, he repeated the action on the other side and watched with fascination as the fabric slipped down to pool at your hips leaving you in a bra. You struggled against your binds again. “Ah Ah. That will get you nowhere.” He said brushing back a strand of hair. 
—----------------------------------
“Hey Hotch what’s wrong?” David asked, looking at Aaron who was staring at his phone as it sat on the desk in front of him. “She always texts me or calls me when she gets home. It’s like an unspoken rule. But it’s been over an hour since she left and she hasn’t contacted me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.” Aaron said with a sigh dragging his hand over his face. “Did you try calling her?” David asked and Aaron looked up, his brows furrowed deeply. “6 times no answer. Which just really isn’t like her. I have a bad feeling.” Aaron said, grabbing his phone and standing up. “I’m just going to see if Garcia can pull up the garage cams just to make sure she got to her car okay and left. Just to have a little piece of mind.” He said walking over to Penelope's office. He knocked on the door then stepped inside.
“Hey Garcia, can you pull up the garage camera footage? I just want to make sure she gets to her car and takes off.” He fidgeted nervously with a pen in his hand and Penelope nodded, pulling up the footage. When he saw your car still sitting there he got concerned. “What if I try to ping her cellphone and see where it is? Maybe she walked to the coffee shop down the street or something?” She suggested and Aaron frowned for a moment not really comfortable with the invasion of privacy but eventually agreed. Penelope typed quickly. “Okay. It’s still in the parking garage which is kind of weird.” Penelope looked up just as Aaron walked out of her office.
Aaron made his way to the parking garage and saw your car still sitting in its parking spot. When he walked up and saw your phone on the ground next to several spots of blood he felt his heart sink into his stomach. He ran back to Penelope’s office and threw the door open. “Pull up the garage cameras for the last hour. Fast Forward.” He ordered, watching the screens intently. When he saw a person in a hoodie walk up and nail you over the head he cursed. “Can you zoom in and see who it is?” He asked and she typed on her keyboard trying to pull up a better angle. “Nothing.” She then got an idea and pulled up the traffic camera facing the parking garage entrance. “It was Spencer.” She gasped looking back at the computer screens, she was hoping that she was wrong even though she knew she wasn’t.
—--------------------------------
A hand caressed your face again, that seemed to be one of his favorite things to do and his thumb brushed across your bottom lip. You kissed his thumb just to draw it in a little so you could bite down hard. He smacked you across the face and you could taste blood in your mouth. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He said gently touching the red mark on your face. You flinched away from his touch and he pouted. “You know Aaron will find me. You know he will kill you.” You said glaring up at the man who simply shrugged. 
“I know. It’s not like I’m exactly hiding. They’re probably tracking my car or my cell phone right now. It will lead them to one of the old abandoned warehouses in the Fremont district and they will come bursting in. Bla bla bla.” He said running a hand through your hair. “But till then you are mine.” He said leaning forward to kiss you again, this time shoving his tongue in your mouth and groaning slightly as he tasted the faint spots of blood from biting your lip when he smacked you. 
“You see, I used to be a really successful Agent. Sure I had some problems with Dilaudid and other things but I worked hard and I contributed to the team. But then I started developing signs of mild schizophrenia and I panicked. I didn’t want to end up like my mother. So I started taking medication but the medication just wasn’t working. And it started getting worse. Started affecting my work. And I guess Hotch started to notice. Well now here we are.” He said pacing again. You kept quiet but started rubbing your wrists together feeling the ropes start to loosen. You just had to hope that Aaron was tracking Spencer’s car or cell phone or something. Which thankfully he was. 
You felt the ropes slip from your wrists, your feet weren’t tied to the chair and you were glad you were wearing boots today. When you heard the sound of sirens approaching you noticed Spencer started to panic a little bit. He walked up to you and placed both hands on either side of your face. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” He said and you leaned back a little managing to deliver a decent kick to the center of his chest knocking him down. You stood up and booked it to the door, throwing it open just as he grabbed you from behind and yanked you back. “Clever but not clever enough.” He said holding the knife to your throat as the rest of the team stood in a line with their guns drawn. 
“Spencer, I need you to drop the knife and let her go.” Aaron said his voice was calm and level as he looked at the two of you. “You know I can’t do that Hotch.” Spencer said with a sigh. “Come on Reid, we can get you help.” Derek said with a frown. Aaron holstered his weapon and stepped forward causing Spencer to step back and press the knife tighter against your skin drawing little droplets of blood. “Come on Spencer. She didn’t do anything to you. You don’t need to hurt her. Deep down I think we both know I’m the one you want to hurt. I fired you.” He said taking another hesitant step forward. Spencer bit his lip and looked at his previous team, his family, all standing there. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He said quietly, it was like his reality was starting to shift back to normal. 
You felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest with how fast it was beating at the moment and you winced as the knife pierced your skin a little bit more. He sighed and shoved you towards Aaron roughly causing you to hit the ground right at his feet. Spencer dropped the knife and dropped to his knees putting his hands behind his head. Aaron rushed forward to pick you up in his arms and quickly run you to the other side of the SUV putting you out of harm's way as Derek and Emily both came forward to handcuff Spencer. Derek pulled him into a hug not really sure what else to do.
You felt tears on your cheeks and you started sobbing as Aaron wrapped his jacket around your shoulders buttoning it up to cover up your bra. “Hey shh. It’s okay. I have you now.” He said leaning in to kiss you repeatedly. You were quiet but shaking like a leaf as the paramedics checked you out. After putting a few bandaids over the cuts he made and giving you an ice pack for the rope burn you were cleared to go home with Aaron who quickly took you back to his apartment. 
You changed into one of his shirts and he pulled you into bed holding you close to his chest with his hand resting over your heart so he could feel the steady beat under his fingers reminding him that you were still alive. “I’m so sorry.” He muttered into the side of your neck as he placed kisses against your skin. “It wasn’t your fault.” You tried to reassure him. He nuzzled into your shoulder and held you even tighter, almost making it hard to breathe. “I love you. So much.” He said and you finally smiled for the first time that night. “I love you too.” You said kissing his forehead as he rested his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat.  
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fuutakaijyama · 6 months
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BUT BABY I WANT YOU?! ft CHIFUYU MATSUNO (♡)
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synopsis: Nether of you expected tonight would've ended like this.
warning: automotive crash, cop chase, highway chase, brief mentions of police and gang violence, near death experience.
alo’s notes: i miss chifuyu so i wrote this
includes : x reader, mentions of toman, brief angst, hurt/comfort, brief romantic tension, brief sexual tension, you and chifuyu in your lana del rey era, mildly suggestive.
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It was supposed to be a regular night, you and Matsuno had started making your way towards the shrine, the only place you would meet at.
Then the next thing you saw was the edge of a cliff, Chifuyu above you as you fell onto the road, Chifuyu hugging you tightly as you felt your lungs fill with the smoke.
After that?
You're on Chifuyu’s bike, yours nowhere to be found, your hands wrapping around his waist as your head leaned against his defined back, your legs draped over him, your breath felt minty, a sensation similar to when you spit out chewed up mint gum.
“Chifuyu..?” You coughed out his name as he immediately jolted up your grip on his waist tightened while he pulled over to the side of the road.
He got off the bike, your leg hitting the side of the silent exhaust as your legs dangling just above the road causing you to flinch at the hot metal.
Chifuyu almost examines you, his hands softly gripping your cheek as he looks you up and down, his hands hugging your waist and thighs
“You're burnt..” He points out as his hands fall to your legs, head silently resting against your collarbone as he looks down at you.
“Chifuyu.”
You called out with no response, his hands trailing down to your knees as they felt around your figure for any sign of injury,
“Chifuyu.”
Still no response, without thinking you grabbed him by the wrist twirling him around before pulling him towards your face.
“Chifuyu. What's wrong with you?” You whispered, your voice carrying with it a clear tone of fear but also concern yet admiration, he hand trailed up your side before resting on your cheek.
“You crashed on the highway.. I didn't know what to do.. I.. couldn't do anything.”
You could hear the lump in his throat form, a look of shame in his eyes as he placed his head on your shoulder as his hands snaked around your waist just as he did before.
You hummed, rubbing his head and playing with his hair before you took your finger to his chin, flicking his head up to look at you.
“Let's go; Matsuno.”
He nodded, pulling your legs to sit properly on his bike, putting in the key again as you felt it shake against the pavement as he pulled off the wind in your hair as you looked at the scenery in front of you.
“Matsuno, can I play something..?” He held out his unlocked phone, the speaker he kept on the side of his handle swaying with the bike, scrolling through the tabs as you clicked on his music app and scrolled through his music apps as the sound of Lana Del Rey filled the highway, your hands still wrapped around him as you watched the city scapes.
“You really listen to this shit..?” He giggled at the choice of music not minding the song as he continued on his way to the city, the view of the bars which separated the road from the water were the only things you could focus on
“I mean it's not really bad, just keep it playing, it's a good song.” He quipped softly, his voice slow and supple as he continued on his way to your place, the back of his leg grazing your upper leg momentarily.
This windows caught the headlights of cars and trucks, finally, red and blue lights flashed behind you, demanding for you to turn towards the curb.
“Chifuyu, cops.” You rolled your eyes, hugging him tighter as you heard the sound of his engine rev, “Hold on tight, I don't have any money on me.” He sighed, merging into the center lane as the sound of the deafening engine and the smell of gas were the only thing to fill your senses, the view of blurry lights red, white, and yellow being the only thing you could make out.
Your stomach churned at the violent turns of the bike, your gut telling you that you should’ve not gone with Chifuyu and that it’d be better if you just got thrown on the side of the road and stayed there.
A deadly ring in your ears made you sick, the motion sickness was horrible, at last he started slowing down the feeling of falling and puking at the same time finally started to settle down, then it stopped, Chifuyu was out of breath, panting heavily as he wiped the beads of sweat off of his brows.
“You good there, sugar?” He’d turned to look at you, a smile on his face as he rubbed your knuckles with his sweaty hands, thumb rubbing on the bone as he kissed them, you nodded silently, hugging him close to you.
“I’m fine.. but you look..” You took a breath, his hand on your chest, the other hand on your waist trailing down to your ass, gripping it tightly as you let out a large whimper, your head jerking down then up to look at him. “..Fucking winded, yeah I know.”
He chuckled, pulling your frame closer, your face less than an inch away as he caved, grabbing you harshly as he tangled himself in your hair and hands, falling to the curb with you in his grip.
“Fuck, you're my favorite.”
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maramirror11 · 5 months
Text
Neon Wings
These are just my thoughts on this AMAZING series and I don't have someone to dump this so here we go.
Spoiler warning for both The Neon Barbarian and Neon Wings.
I've never done this and English grammar isn't my strong point.
I wasn't expecting a sequel for TNB. But the world was too interesting to not make more. So, I was surprised that NW went in a different direction. It's Raven's story and it SHOWS.
I love how the audience is able to witness Raven's past and compare it with the present.
I enjoy making the backstories of Listeners based on the little information we have. However, it feels different to just hear about their past from BE THERE to understand what they went through.
Because for me the two series are one big story. Of course, you can see one and not the other. Still, it hits different when you see both.
I like the idea of Crow not going back. It'll defeat the purpose of the story. (Don't get me wrong I LOVE CROW, I MISS HIM). Yet, if he comes back, it'll be awkward since Raven is different. Time has moved on and he will be stuck in the past again.
For me, Raven changes from being someone open to knowing new people to becoming this person with emotional walls. In both she's still kind and a badass, but it's different.
It took her TWO days to give Ivan the pie unlike with Crow that it took a few hours to invite him to her house.
One of my favorite parts of this series were the moments Raven had a panic attack. Sure, almost every video has loud banging or shooting noises.
But with these ones, you can FEEL how UNCOMFORTABLE she is. How there is nowhere to run, no way to get the sound quiet down. How the sirens and shooting noises never left her head as she just stayed there, incapable to do something.
The way music is used is another favorite part. Out of Touch means so much for her, both good and bad. I forgot the music was playing WHILE Crow was being shot.
That's why in her nightmare, after Ivan gets shot, it sounds a distorted version. It's the story repenting itself all over again.
Just for her to claim the song while they fight against Luke. Love the detail. The final song Chicago was *chef kiss*. It's a new song for a new life and it fits PERFECTLY.
ALSO, THE FIGHTING AND SOLO SCENES OMGGG. You KNOW what Raven does and what they do to her, from hand to hand combat to guns.
Also, there are many scenes where she doesn't interact with anyone and still understand what happened. Like when she goes back home from the incident and just drops to her couch/bed.
Lemme talk about Ivan. I was surprised with Ivan's attitude. He is always calm and never actually cursed. I thought that his reaction to Raven's old job was something he was OK with but couldn't participate.
He's so kind with everyone and his struggle NOT TO drop facts about the things he likes is relatable. HE'S SO AFFECTIONATE WITH RAVEN AND PALOMA, I LOVE HIM.
At the end, he curses and gives effective strategies to kill the other mercenaries. On top of that, he ended up shooting someone, so I think I didn’t give Ivan enough credit.
The fact that he has a kind heart, doesn't mean he's not brave enough to protect the ones he cares about. They became The Power Couple. Relationship Goals indeed.
It was a hard task to give Raven another love interest since Crow is so loved by the fans. And I admit it was handled very well. For both Crow and Michelle.
I appreciate how Michelle is not a competition. For me, she had the right to be upset at the beginning. It was a dangerous and new situation. She just wanted to protect her family.
Probably Ivan talked to her and explained the situation better, since Michelle doesn't blame Raven again at the end.
My question right now is, WHY Raven took Ivan with her??? He can't run and doesn't have that much experience in combat.
Maybe they felt safe with each other. I mean, Raven IS a mercenary and fought 3 armed guys alone. Also, why was she so open to listen to Luke? He knows most about Para M and would benefit from her death. I still need to give it more thought.
There are still some things that kept me thinking about the other stuff that weren't shown. One is that Danny is never brought up again. I understand that she was not as important as Crow in the story but STILL.
She died saving her identity from Louis and now Raven takes care of her cat. I just wonder if Danny was for Raven, another victim of the circumstances or they were friends.
Also, the disaster that created the super genits (i'm sorry if I wrote it wrong) is never brought up again. But I think it's because it takes place far away from the original incident. Something that is never stated as well, are Danny and Crow buried somewhere?.
Lastly, I always keep this writing advice in mind. Characters of a story can't be the same at the beginning and at the end. The scene that brought me that thought was when Raven got shot. I'm pretty sure she couldn't hear Crow's words before this moment.
Seeing him one last time and being in the situation she wanted for so long, it shows how much she grew. Raven from the beginning would've accepted to die.
But she couldn't, there was something worth living for. Raven had her closure with her past and now it's ready for the future. IT MADE ME EMOTIONAL 😭.
Now Raven can live her life again the way she wants. She leaves her old name and life behind. Not seeing the next sunrise but to enjoy it as well.
It's like those stories even if you get spoilers, it's not the same as experience it.
That's all.
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fadeawaywithyou · 4 months
Text
immediate first reviews of the (non-nightcore) Mammalian Sighing Reflex album from Wilbur!
spoilers below if you haven't listened to his album! I really like it! Also, I'm not looking into lyrics online just yet, it's very late and if I do that I won't sleep cause it'll just consume my mind for hours.
-Amazon Standing Lamp: I love the guitar here and I laughed when it took me about 5 seconds to realize the higher voice isn't a woman, but actually Wilbur Soot singing alongside himself. He's sampling something at the end I don't know.
-Mine/Yours: The lyrics about kissing like a job and tongue and teeth *mwah* and the last line ohhhhhhh boy. The beat reminds me of a beating heart.
-Around the Pomegranate: the instrumental at 30 seconds in is SO GOOD the beat with the distorted voice is so fun. i can make out the lines "no one else can save you" and "nowhere you [can?] return to". This whole song is very fun despite the lyrics and meaning. It's just a very experimental. I like when the music gets very loud. Speaking of the lyrics the ending where Wilbur says he wants to feel normal again is just...I'm gonna go lay on the floor.
-I Don't Think It Will Ever End: Again with the experimental music! It kinda immediately reminds me of that part in Bo Burnham's Inside, the song "All Eyes On Me" where he has a mid-song monologue. It is very interesting in a meta-sense due to the comparison I can't help but make between this and Wilbur's streams. Where he's got a "chat" or audience responding to him in a cheery voice no matter what he says.
-Glass Chalet: I like the scratchy feeling in the instrumental. He's throwing stones in a Glass Chalet, which according to google is like a fancy type of cabin found in the mountains (the alps, specifically?). Also, I love the sampling he's doing with the talking at the end.
-Melatonin 130: I like the distorted voice at the end. He's really experimenting with this album and I'll keep saying it because I love it! I love the ending lyrics about everyone hoping you fail and the apes with coloring books, I think he said?
-Oh Distant You: The music takes up most of this song, instead of the lyrics, but what is sung is very nice.
-Eulogy: One of the lyrics hits very close to home. Not in a good way, but not in a bad way either. I guess it'll depend on the day I listen to the song. It's a good song. I like it a lot.
-Dropshipped Cat Shirt: The distortion kinda reminds me of those hyperpop songs that went viral on tiktok back in 2020 and it's very new to hear it used in this way with these lyrics and the general tone of the music. The last line! God, what is it with this album and the final couple of lines that hit me upside the head? I just need someone to tell me I'm tired???? God DAMN. shit...
-The Median: Very good. I like these shorter songs in between full-length songs. It's just a minute long but I really like it.
-Trying Not To Think About It: The lines about romance and marriage...man that's relatable. this is probably gonna be my favorite song. And then the rest of the song just.../pos but ooooooof
-10 Week Rule: It's a good song. Was NOT expecting that line in the chorus, which I'll let people reading this find out themselves.
Overall, this is an excellent album! I really love it and I will be listening to it constantly. This gives me the same feelings that YCGMA gave me, while still staying very distinct. It's not more POLISHED than ycgma, but it's clearly made with Wilbur's more improved skills in music making. (there is a word for this i can't remember rn)
I'm gonna commit to picking a favorite song after a couple more listens, but so far I really like Trying Not To Think About It and Around the Promegrante. This is a very creative album and I'm glad he's experimenting here. This doesn't sound like Lovejoy, and I'm super happy. It's unique, it's fun, and it's sad!
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lhskokoro · 2 years
Text
PSH. YOUR EYES TELL
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park sunghoon x reader. exes to ??; angst, fluff. 2.4k word count. song: i miss you by soyou ☆
summary. when you heard the doorbell ring at the late hours of the night, you didn't expect it to be your ex park sunghoon who, all drenched from the rain, asked if he could stay.
a/n. to be honest i was thinking of making this a full-length fic but the longest i've ever written was this : ( anyways we love a one bed trope.
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you didn’t know what you were expecting when you heard the doorbell ring at 12 in the morning.
although it most certainly wasn’t this, because standing by your doorway was the person you didn’t think you’d be able to meet again, the one person you’ve never wanted to see or even hear a mutter of his name. not in a hundred, a thousand or a million years.
yet, here he was standing in front of your eyes under the rain hitting harshly against his skin as if to tell you that this wasn't a dream, that this wasn't an illusion and that you absolutely weren't insane.
maybe you were. because the first few words he told you were—
“can i stay here?”
you scoffed.
“so that’s the first thing you’re going to say to your ex? really, park?”
you were in disbelief. it’s been many months since you last saw the boy, and now that the two of you finally met, the first thing he did was to ask to stay in your apartment. not a “hello.” not a “how are you?” and not even a simple “sorry” that your heart has long yearned for.
park sunghoon. he used to be the person you fell head over heels for. the person to who you, for the first time in your life, gave and entrusted your heart. you showered him with all of the affection and fondness that the universe could ask for—far and endless as the star-studded sky.
yet, all of it ended as fast as the strike of lightning.
“i just…” sunghoon trailed off before he sighed, a puff of smoke coming out of his lips from the cold. “i have nowhere else to go.”
you were determined to erase his entire existence in your life as if he was never a part of it. after what happened six months ago, you tried your best to steer clear of park sunghoon. it was impossible to avoid him completely since the both of you were in the same university, but you knew sunghoon like the back of your hand; you knew when and what time his lectures end, you knew he would often be at the library in the evenings and you knew which café he would go to whenever the day ends.
with all of that in mind, you adjusted; you were aware of when to not use the hallways, you study at the library at night after 7 even if it was inconvenient, and you never went to his favorite café no matter how much their coffees taste good—all of this you did for the sake of not bumping into park sunghoon.
but now, all of your attempts, efforts and grueling struggles have come in vain as the wall you’ve tried so hard to keep collapsed in a second by the ring of a doorbell.
how does he have the audacity to crash back into your life like a meteor as if nothing happened?
but your chest tightened a little from the sight.
sunghoon was entirely drenched in the rain; drops of water were falling from his hair, his clothes were fully soaked and his body was slightly shivering.
what even happened that he ended up in this state?
no. you can’t feel bad for him.
he deserved it after everything that he’s done.
“don’t you have any friends? or maybe you can, i don’t know, buy a mansion? you can do anything after all,” there was a hint behind the hostility in your voice, and sunghoon’s ears perked up. he gets it. he knows what you mean.
you have to stand your ground. you have to. you can’t give him a drop of your worry or compassion or concern.
you gave him your heart and he threw it on the ground—trudged and left shattered like fragments of glass. you were supposed to do the same.
“you’re the only one i can think of,” he clenched his fist. “let me stay, please.”
but, there was something in his eyes that pulled you towards him like an apple falling to the ground. it hid an incomprehensible feeling, one you couldn’t find the answer to.
you wanted to find out.
“fine,” you opened the door widely before you turned your back away from him. “just for tonight.”
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you were waiting on the couch when sunghoon came out of the bathroom after an unreasonably long shower. hearing the door click, you looked up from your phone and froze. he was handsome as he always was—the loose strands of his wet hair were hanging slightly above his eyes, a mole decorated his nose and cheek like bits of stardust and his lips were pink and plump. wearing a white shirt and grey joggers, those were the only things sunghoon left in your apartment before he moved out.
you didn't know whether to be thankful it was here, and in all honesty, you didn't know why you kept it.
why was it even here?
“i know i’m handsome but you don’t have to make it so obvious.”
you rolled your eyes at his remark.
he’s also self-absorbed as he always was. that’s how you knew he was back to normal; it was the typical sunghoon you remembered all too well—a huge difference from the sunghoon half an hour ago.
he was drying his hair with a towel when you adjusted the pillows on your couch and pulled the blanket towards you. when you were about to lie down, he stopped you, “what do you think you’re doing?”
“well, what else am i gonna do? i’m going to sleep here,” you replied in a “isn’t it obvious aren't you supposed to know?” voice. “you should sleep in my bed. someone as high-maintenance as you certainly can’t afford to sleep on a couch, right?”
“no, i can sleep on the couch. you sleep in your bed.”
“if you sleep on the couch then i’ll sleep on the floor.”
that should be enough to convince him to sleep on the bed. you recalled the times when sunghoon would pass out on the couch whenever he was too tired from his part-time job. the next day, he would often wake up with back pains. you don't want to go through the trouble of buying heating pads from the pharmacy and putting it on his back again. although you look back on how fun it was to tease him by threatening to press on the painful spot on his back, earning him a groan.
“what about my old room? i saw from the sign outside the door earlier that you're looking for a roommate. it’s vacant. i can sleep there.”
you closed your eyes for a moment. “there’s no bed.”
silence hung around the air as the tension started to surface. all of this would be over if he just accepted to sleep in your bed and you on the couch. if you still didn't have a soft spot for park sunghoon, you would gladly let him sleep on the couch and leave him to deal with that foolish back pain himself.
suddenly, sunghoon’s lips curved into a grin, though it wasn't one of happiness or glee. you recognized it.
what was park sunghoon thinking this time?
“we should sleep together.”
if you were drinking water, you would’ve been choking by now. were you hearing right or were you not in the right state of mind?
“sorry, what?” you raised your voice.
he smirked, “we should sleep together in the same bed. we have no choice, do we? unless you want to sleep on the floor as you said. i’d happily take the couch.”
sunghoon shrugged as if what he proposed was simple, as if it was nothing and easy to do. but to you, it was the complete opposite. jumping out of the window right seemed to be the right option. damn park sunghoon for being hard-headed and as stubborn as a mule.
“all right, but this will never happen again.”
why do you feel heat rising on your cheeks?
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sitting down on the bed, you were arranging the pillows until you heard a laugh emanating from behind.
“what’s your problem?” you turned to peer at the boy with raised eyebrows and a smug look on his face. oh please, if only you could wipe it off completely so it would never see the light of day.
“nothing. i just think it’s ridiculous that…” he laughed once again, yet this time so hard that he might as well run out of breath. “...it’s ridiculous that you’re building a pillow wall. you’re still the same. have you ever considered whether or not we’re going to fit in your bed?”
“it’s called safety. we’re keeping boundaries here.”
“yeah, sure. you thought i was gonna do anything?” he teased, but you weren't having any of it. you were tired, you were frustrated, and you still haven't slept. everything was taking a toll on you, and before you could stop yourself and be sensible, you lashed out.
“it’s not about that. i think you forgot that we’re exes, for crying out loud.” and sunghoon’s smile disappeared as fast as it came.
a pool of regret and shame settled in your stomach as his eyes lost their gleam. this was the second time you’ve seen sunghoon like this, the first being when you two broke up six months ago.
the look on his face never left your mind.
you lay down quickly on the bed, shuffling onto your side to escape from the situation and from him. sunghoon followed as well as he lay down, the weight dropping onto the mattress. silence enveloped the room, the tickings of the clock on the bedside table chimed loudly in the still of the night as seconds turned into minutes into hours.
resting your face on your arms, it’s unimaginable how you’re lying in your bed next to your ex separated by stacks of pillows in between. although it was a double size bed, the pillows serving as a barrier between you two took up much of the space, leaving both of your bodies near the edge of the bed on each side. no one seemed to care, though it’s only you who made that assumption.
because sunghoon cares.
“is this necessary? the pillow wall, i mean,” you heard sunghoon shift his position around the bed, most likely facing the ceiling.
now that you think about it, making a pillow wall was childish; only kids in elementary would do such a thing. it’s funny.
“you’re still complaining about the pillow wall?”
“i’m not complaining. i just think it’s ridiculous.”
you agree. you really do. however, your ego wouldn't let you admit it, not in front of him of his face.
“it’s ridiculous? then leave.”
“but y/n-”
“god, sunghoon can you please stop–” when you shuffled in place and turned around, your breath hitched in your throat. you didn't expect to be greeted by the sight of park sunghoon staring right into you, the pillow between you two long gone as he held it to his chest instead. the proximity between the both of you was too close—noses almost grazing against the other and his breath tickling your skin, time seemed to come to a standstill.
observing him from this close, the saying “eyes speak volumes” started to make sense. because even with the absence of words or sentences coming out of his lips, you could hear the thousands of emotions beneath his eyes. it shone as if fairy lights were hanging above his head, and his eyes reflected the dim moonlight pouring through the window.
not only that, but you also saw how he sees you in his eyes.
your heart started picking its pace as you gripped onto the blanket for dear life.
“are you okay?” sunghoon’s question caught you out of your daze.
you blinked once, then twice. “oh, yes. of course.”
sunghoon softened as his eyes traced your face, moving around from your brows to your nose to your lips. it was so heavy that you could almost feel its weight.
you finally knew the answer to what his eyes were hiding underneath since the time he was standing at your door beneath the rain.
it encased the strongest feeling after love—yearning.
he laughed out of nowhere. “you should’ve seen the look on your face. you were staring at me with wide eyes.”
heat rises on the tips of your ears as you quickly looked away, anywhere as long as it’s not him.
“y-you’re just imagining it.”
he chuckled.
and you were right.
he was yearning for you.
he understood what happened six months ago was entirely his fault. perhaps if he threw away his pride and accepted that fact right away, he would still be lying down next to you in your shared space, this time with the absence of pillow walls and instead with your gentle hums and snores as he hugs you tight, afraid to let go. perhaps he would gape at you at an impossibly closer distance with all the tenderness and all the affection he could pour out that others could only dream to receive.
he regretted it. he really does.
and as he observed you from a while earlier, he realized he still had a chance when you let him in your apartment in the first place and when you agreed to sleep with him on the same bed.
you wouldn’t do those things if you still didn’t love him, right?
even if it’s only a little bit, even if it’s just one out of a hundred chance, he still meant something to you.
call him an idiot, call him a fool, but he’s going to do anything to bring you back. he had a foolproof plan in mind, and no doubt, it would’ve been the best he’s ever thought of—half because he wasn’t a genius and this was all he could come up with and half because he definitely did not just run away from home once the idea went through his head like the switch of a lightbulb.
definitely.
it could never go wrong.
“you know the sign outside the door that i mentioned earlier?” sunghoon cleared his throat, trying to act as normal as he could. “does the offer still stand? i’ll gladly take it.”
his words caught your attention and you turned your head towards him, lips slightly parted. “do you mean…?”
the answer was unimaginable and hard to believe, but it was confirmed by the coy smile sunghoon had on his lips that he failed to hide, and this, by far, was the largest you’ve ever seen.
“let me be your roommate.”
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rsedits9420 · 1 year
Note
cinnamon girl p33333
West coast
Pt 3 of The Lana Fic
Based off the song West Coast by Lana Del Rey
Word count: 1.5k
Masterlist
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TW: mentions of abuse, portrayals of abuse, mental health, and ptsd (pls don’t read if you find these triggering)
Mark’s POV
As I wake up, I start to remember what occurred last night. I picked up y/n from Rutger and Johnny’s dorm. Then I saw that she was hurt. He had hit her! Her asshole of a boyfriend, Mason. For some reason I wasn’t as pissed last night as I am now. I’m furious. He doesn’t get to put his hands on her. Never. I’m going to need a lot of talking out of what I’m about to do. I slowly get up out of my bed, careful not to wake y/n, who is sleeping next to me. I put on one of my old hockey sweatshirts and put on a black beanie. I quietly grab my keys and phone and make my way to the door. Even though I'm livid, I’m not going to disturb her. She needs her rest. Especially after the events of last night. It’s only 8:45. I doubt any of my other roommates are awake. They can’t stop me from beating Mason’s ass. And trust me, that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I write a quick note letting y/n know I’m going out, and will be back. Leave her probably isn’t a good idea, but I can’t let this fucker go untouched for what he did to her any longer. Better yet, let’s make this a warning to never mess with my girl ever again.
I get this feeling like it all could happen, that's why I'm leaving
You for the moment, you for the moment
I quietly open my door and step into the hallway. As I reach the end of the hall I’m met with Luke sitting on the couch watching some highlights from his brother's game last night. “Where are you heading?” He asks. “Nowhere.” I respond bluntly. He starts to stand up, as I try to rush towards the door. “Man, I know what you're going to do. Yes. He definitely deserves it. But don’t ruin your hockey career. She wouldn’t want that.” Luke tells me. He starts to move in front of the door. “I’m just going to get a few punches in, okay! He’s a piece of shit, so I’m going to treat him as such. He hit my girl! He can’t get away with that!” I yell trying to push my way out. All of a sudden, Ethan, Mackie, and Dylan all appear out of their rooms. “What the hell is going on?” Dylan questions. “He about to go fuck up his career and I’m preventing that from happening.” Luke tells them. “Mark, I promise he’ll get what he deserves, but right now you need to be with y/n. She needs you.” Ethan tells me. Shit. He was right. How would she feel if I did the same thing that he did? I'm not like that though. I won’t give her a reason to be afraid of me. Not ever.
I speed back to my room, just to see y/n awake staring at my wall. “You okay?” I ask. “Will you lay with me?” She asked. Her eyes are puffy, and her cheeks are stained with tears, yet she’s still breathtakingly gorgeous. I climb into bed with her, and pull her close. “I meant what I said last night.” She whispers. “And I meant what I said too. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you know that right.” I tell her. “Will you go with me to get my stuff today?” I take her face into my hands,”Yes baby, of course. I’ll protect you at all costs. I promise.” I would do anything and everything for her. I mean it.
Y/n’s POV
Mark makes me feel whole. When he holds me, I know he wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt me ever. I never felt that with Mason. Yet the way Mark is holding me now, it feels different. Like he’s afraid to let go. Honestly I might be a bit afraid, myself. Even though I feel afraid, I know he is my safe haven. He always has been.
I guess that no one ever really made me feel that much higher
*4 hours later*
I don’t know if I can do this. All the boys are driving me to Mason’s apartment to get my stuff. He’s going to flip out. Luckily I have Mark and the boys here to protect me. I’m still dreading seeing Mason. I have no clue how he’s going to react. That’s the scariest part about this all. When I don’t know his next move, that’s when he does something outrageous. Mark is sitting next to me, holding my hand and playing with my knuckles. “It will be okay. I promise baby.” He whispers. He makes me feel safe. He always has. He’s my rock. My safe space. My home.
When we arrive at the apartment complex, they help me unload the boxes Luke and Dylan brought in Luke’s truck, and we take them up to the apartment. When I reach the door of my used to be “home” I grab my key out of my pocket, and quietly open the door. Hopefully he isn’t here, or if he is he’s passed out. The boys aren’t far behind me, but the are now just getting off the elevator as I walk into the apartment. I tiptoe through the living room straight to the bedroom to retrieve my things. All of a sudden a hand grabs my neck and pulls me against the wall.
Mark’s POV
Each of us brought up two boxes to pack up y/n’s things. When we reach the apartment door, it’s wide open. She went in there without me?! I quickly get inside of the apartment just to hear,” please Mason. Let me-e go. Pl-” I drop everything in my hands when I turn the corner to see Mason shoving y/n up against the wall by her throat. All I see is red. I charge up to him, pull him off immediately and throw him to the ground. “Don’t you ever touch her again! You hear me!” I roar. Eddie comes up behind me to check on y/n. I grab Mason by the collar of his shirt and get on top of him. Soon enough my fist connects with his face. I get 6 good punches in before Mackie and Luke are pulling me off. They have to get Dylan’s help to hold me against the wall. I look back at what I just did. His nose is definitely crooked, he has a gash on his eyebrow, and a busted lip. But damn that felt good. Mason starts to stand back up. “You fucking asshole!” Mason swears at me. And just like that Mackie turns around and hits Mason with a right hook to knock him right back on his ass. “You're not one to talk, so do everyone else here a favor and shut the hell up.” Mackie yells at him.
My gaze falls back onto y/n. She’s curled up into a ball. As she turns her head I can see the handprints on her throat. I rush towards her in an instant. “Hey, shhh. It’s okay. I’m here now. Nothing else is going to happen I promise.” I tell her, as I pull her into a hug. “Here, I’ll take “our friend” to the parking lot, so you guys can’t help y/n get her stuff. Okay?” Luke says. We all nod. Not long after Luke is dragging Mason out of the apartment. “Come on, let's go get your stuff.” I say lifting y/n in my arms.
After almost an hour, me and the boys have all of her belongings packed and ready to be taken to our house. Y/n hasn’t said a word yet. I’m starting to get worried. One thing I know is, I’m not letting this girl out of my sight ever again.
With the help of the boys, I managed to get all of the boxes into the two cars. As I place the last box in the car, I see Mason approaching the building again. Luckily y/n is already in the car safe. I’m not going to do anything else for now. I think y/n has seen enough for one day. I sit next to her in the car, and not long after she places her head on my chest. “Thank yo-u for being here and protecting me-e, Mark.” I cup her cheeks and tell her,”Anytime baby. And it’s all over now. You’re going to come live with me and the boys, and we’ll figure the rest out from there. Okay?” I plant a kiss on her forehead. “Okay.” She responds. “I love you so much. And there isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do for you. I swear to you.” She giggles through tears and says,” I love you too Woody. So so much.” That’s when I know I'm in love with this girl. And I’m not ever losing her again.
I’m in love
I’m in love
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