did you get enough love, my little dove
why do you cry
and I’m sorry I left
but it was for the best
though it never felt right
my little Versailles
as we were, ch.7 — JJK [m]
as we were | jeon jungkook x reader — series masterpost ! ˚₊✩
⟶ GENRE : divorce au, infidelity au, eventual smut, heavy angst, lots of pining
⟶ RATING : 18+
⟶ WC : 11.3k
⟶ SUMMARY : You’re finally taking your first step to move on from Jungkook, and that leads to things you never expected to happen.
⟶ WARNINGS : taehyung and mirae’s past :(, yoongi being so cute, jungkook’s feelings, talks of divorce, emotional therapy session (literally), i’m not a therapist but i tried, this one messed with my emotions, discussions of self-hatred and struggles with self-worth, heavy alcohol consumption, drunk driving.
⟶ NOTE : we’re reaching the end of as we were!! I’m thinking we will have 10 chapters :( i’m very sad lol, but aww wasn’t even supposed to a series in the first place, it was supposed to be a one-shot LOL, but i guess i got lost in the storyline…oops…..it may go on for more, but i truly feel that everything is already reaching its end <3 oh, and please bare in mind that not everything is as it seems in this fic hehe….
I also cried in this one, as always, but this one really messed with me, idk it may just be my emotional self lol….this is a very emotional chapter, in a good and bad way, and you will see why…. but i hope you guys like this one <3 this chapter was not supposed to go like this, it wasn’t supposed to be this painful but oh well lol….hope u guys are prepared hehe
I also recommend you listening to sad songs towards the end of the chapter if you want to feel even worse and cry like a baby….you’ll se why :p
⟶ MUSIC : emails i can’t send and decode by sabrina carpenter
MASTERLIST ₊˚✧ TAGLIST ₊˚✧ PLAYLIST
#07: the art of moving on
“T-Taehyung?!” Jungkook shouts, his mouth on the floor as he stares at his sister, trying to grasp everything that just happened.
Mirae hiccups and hides her face in her palms, shame consuming her whole as she feels the judging eyes of everyone in the room. “I-It was a one-night stand m-many months ago….I—we were both drunk, and i-it just h-happened!”
Four months ago;
Taehyung is at a random bar, staring at the glass of gin in his hand as he stirs the cup, his mind consumed by the thoughts of only one woman—you.
For months, Taehyung had nothing but thoughts of you lingering inside his mind; whenever he did something, he would think of you. And this is no exception, but now he’s drowning in his emotions, trying to forget his illicit feelings.
He didn’t mean to develop feelings for you. But something about you drew you in, making him dig himself such a big hole that it’s impossible to get out. Maybe it was just his longing for someone after his love died, perhaps it was just his weak heart falling for the first and only person who decided to help him through the most challenging part of his life—but it won’t change the fact that he fell for you, that he fell for the forbidden fruit.
He feels miserable, knowing you’re forbidden, knowing you will never feel the same way he feels for you—you love Jungkook more than you love yourself, and he knows nothing will ever change that, even if he badly wants it to.
He got lost in your beautiful eyes, never to find the exit again, and he’s not sure if he ever wants to—the comfort you bring him is too much to make him ever want to let go….It’s selfish, and he knows it; every night, he sulks on the guilt for his selfishness towards you, but he can’t help it.
He’s only human, after all—one who’s unwantedly fallen for the most incredible woman he will never have. He wishes he had fallen for anyone else, for anyone available for him, one who wouldn't bring such guilt to his heart—but alas, feelings are something he can’t control. It’s a sad reality, falling for someone who’s already in love with another. However, Taehyung selfishly wishes it could still somehow change to benefit him, that a miracle would happen for you to go to him, and he hates himself for his sinful thoughts.
He will never tell you; he will never act upon his forbidden desires, not only for his sake, but for yours and your marriage—your happiness comes before anything, and if you’re happy with Jungkook, Taehyung won’t be the one to ruin it.
Your happiness first, his feelings last.
Taehyung turns his head to see who’s now sitting behind him, and his eyebrows lift in surprise when he sees his ex-girlfriend, Mirae.
“Oh, hi, Taehyung.” Mirae smiles awkwardly and turns her head when her eyes meet his, making Taehyung chuckle slightly.
Mirae is Taehyung’s past girlfriend, the one before he met his late wife, Chaeyoung. They broke up a year before he met Chaeyoung, and he has always avoided Mirae since—he broke up with her through text many years ago, while he was still in college, and he will forever be ashamed of how he dealt with his and Mirae’s relationship.
“What are you doing here?” She asks while taking the seat beside him, and he sighs deeply, shifting his eyes to the glass of gin in his hand.
“Thinking.” He says, stirring the glass, and Mirae chuckles before requesting a gin for the bartender.
“What are you doing here?” Taehyung shifts his eyes back to her, and Mirae groans, passing her hands through her face.
“My mother’s forcing me to marry this CEO...I’ve met him once or twice; he’s a lovely guy, but….“ Mirae sighs, closing her eyes, “I want to have the freedom of choosing who to marry, you know? And I had a huge argument with my mother today, and I’m just fucking frustrated.”
Taehyung looks at Mirae—he knows how evil Mrs Jeon can be; in all the years he has been friends with the Jeons, he saw the menace their mother was, and Taehyung can’t help but look at her with eyes filled with pity.
“You still didn’t tell me why you’re here, though,” Mirae sips on the gin the bartender just gave her, and Taehyung chuckles, followed by a deep sigh.
“I told you, I’m just…..thinking.”
“I know you, Taehyung; you don’t just go to a bar because you’re ‘thinking’. You hate bars—so what happened, really?” Mirae insists, draining the gin in her glass in one sip.
Taehyung sighs, bringing his hand to his temple, “I have feelings for someone I shouldn’t.”
“Ah.” Mirae purses her lips, looking at Taehyung with pity in her eyes; she may have hated Taehyung for what he did to her many years ago, but the hatred is now long gone, especially when she heard about his fiance‘s tragedy three years ago. “Who’s the lucky person?”
“I can’t tell you, Mirae.” Taehyung chugs down his own gin, and Mirae sighs, thinking of all the possibilities of who it might be, until a light bulb appears on top of her head, her eyes widening at the realisation of who he’s talking about.
“Holy shit, it’s ____, isn’t it?!”
Taehyung chokes on his drink, spilling the liquid on the counter, his eyes popping out of his socket as he coughs loudly. “H-how did you—”
“I know you always had feelings for her; I mean, that was the whole reason we fell off, wasn’t it?” Taehyung groans at the mention of his past, chugging the rest of his gin in one swallow, not caring about the burn down his throat.
“I was an asshole for that; I’m sorry.” Taehyung passes his hand through the palms of his hands, cringing at the reminder of his past behaviour, one he deeply regrets; Mirae deserved a better explanation than what he gave him. Taehyung wasn’t the same man he was so many years ago; he was a dumb boy, still immature, not only for breaking up with Mirae in such a horrible way but for rushing into a relationship when Taehyung knew he had feelings for another woman—you.
He spent time with you a lot after you and Jungkook became friends, eventually developing feelings for you, and when he was about to ask you out, Jungkook announced his relationship with you. Of course, Taehyung was devastated, and in the middle of that, he and Mirae started dating. Still, he couldn’t get over you—seeing you and Jungkook together made his heart heavy because not only did he wish it was you, but he had another girl in his mind when his girlfriend was right next to him.
He had no choice but to break up with Mirae; she didn’t bring him the happiness he sought, and deep down, Taeehyung was only using her to get over you. So, after six months of dating, Taehyung broke up with Mirae over text and never saw her again as she moved across the country after their breakup. Maybe that is the reason why his and Jungkook’s relationship was never the same; even after years had passed, Jungkook still held somewhat of a cold expression towards Taehyung.
After breaking up with Mirae, Taehyung found Chaeyoung, his ex-girlfriend from his senior year of high school and early college days while he was in his third year of residency. Taehyung and Chaeyoung started off as friends until he fell in love with her, finally being able to move on from his feelings toward you.
Chaeyoung and Taehyung had been engaged for three months when she died on the surgery table right in front of him, turning himself into something he never thought he would be—a wholly broken man with a heart so dark he never thought he could love again.
Until, of course, you came into his life again and lit up his life in all possible ways she shouldn’t have felt.
“It’s alright; I forgave you a long time ago.” Mirae chuckles, drinking her new glass of gin.
“Can we have some more gin here?” Mirae asks, and the bartender nods; some drinks couldn’t hurt, right? After all, he deserves this; he deserves to forget about the agony in his heart over a woman he will never have.
“I never really liked ____ during those years….” Mirae starts while staring at the counter filled with drinks, and Taehyung turns his head with furrowed eyebrows.
Mirae chuckles, “Why do you think? She was the one that had your eyes while we were dating.”
Taehyung sighs at her words, he really was a dumb, immature boy, and he will forever regret how he treated Mirae while they were dating.
“But I learned to like her after she and Jungkook got married, I came back from Daegu, and she was my sister-in-law after all, and I guess we bonded over our mutual hatred for my mother.” She laughs, and Taehyung can’t help but let out a small chuckle.
Their new glass of gin finally arrives, and Mirae is quick to take a large sip, a laugh coming out of Taehyung as she does it, and a small smile forms on her lips. “Shall we make a toast?” Mirae raises her glass, and Taehyung mirrors her action with a grin on his face.
“To our fucked up lives.” She chuckles.
“To our fucked up lives.”
The rest of the night goes smoothly, with both parties intoxicating themselves with the alcohol in their hands and reminiscing memories of their past with a grin on their faces.
And now he’s here, three hours after his encounter with Mirae, with her in his arms as he carries her drunk self to his home. Sighing, Taehyung puts her in his bed clumsily, his mind spinning from the alcohol in his veins, almost tripping on his feet as he dragged her and him through his corridor. When he’s about to leave her, Mirae surprises him by grabbing his jacket and pulling him to her, pressing her lips onto his.
And his intoxicated mind betrays him because he kisses her back.
“I’ll fucking kill him,” Jungkook growls, his jaw clenched at the thought of his best friend and sister together. The rage boils inside his veins—not only has Taehyung been too close to you lately, but now that he learned he knocked up his sister, the anger he already felt towards him became something that clouded Jungkook’s mind fully—the urge actually to kill him intensifying, and Jungkook can only see red.
“Oh, please, stop being such a hypocrite—you knocked up Eunbi.” Mirae scoffs loudly at her brother, wiping the tears that stain her puffed cheeks. Jungkook rolls his eyes when he is about to throw another remark at his sister, their mother shouts, making both siblings flinch, turning their heads to their mother, whose eyes stay glued to the ground.
“You’re both acting like animals, enough!” Mrs Jeon shouts, and Jungkook flinches again; his mother has never talked to him in such an angry tone. Jungkook is her golden child, the favourite, and she never hid that fact in front of anyone, not even Mirae.
“I’ve never been so disappointed in you, Jungkook; you already stooped low with ____, but I never thought you could stoop any lower.” Jungkook’s mother mumbles, and Jungkook fixes his eyes to the ground, shame consuming him whole. He never opted for his mother to find out like this, and now, hearing those words from his mother, the guilt of what he did to you stings his heart; he has never been so ashamed of himself as he is right now.
“And you, Mirae, when I think you’re doing something good for once, you only disappoint your family, as always.” Mr Jeon says, and Mirae squeezes her eyes, pangs of guilt consuming her whole mind, the crippling shame spreading all over her body as she feels the piercing stare of her mother and her father.
Mirae’s mother never liked her; she was always viewed as the family's black sheep, and her mother never hid that fact from her. In some ways, Mirae was treated by Mrs Jeon just like she treated you; the only difference is Mirae is treated like that by her own mother, always being compared to Jungkook, the golden child, and being reminded just how much she would never be as good as him.
“Junghoon, why are you not saying anything?!” Mrs Jeon turns to her husband, tears almost glistening in her eyes, and Mr Jeon only sighs and gets up from his brown armchair.
“There is nothing to say here; they made their mistake, and now they must live with it.” Mr Jeon says with a stern voice, and Mrs Jeon flinches and her children. “I’ll be going now.” Mr Jeon says and leaves the room, and the whole space goes silent, each Jeon looking at the floor with nothing coming out of their mouths.
The silence is broken by Jungkook’s phone ringing, and his eyebrows furrow when he sees it’s his best friend calling him—isn’t Jimin in his shift?
“Jungkook—H-Heejin knows, s-she found out!”
“Heejin?” You ask, lifting your head to look at the spot beside you that’s now empty. You start to panic, eyes widening, and you get out of bed as quickly as possible, running out of the room to the living room.
You sigh in relief when you see Heejin eating on the counter, and your heart clenches when you watch her state—hair messy, deep eye bags under her eye, and dead eyes glued to the cereal on her pot. While stirring her spoon, Heejin sighs, having no desire to eat the food before her, her mind wandering to the events of the night before, and she can’t help but miss Jimin.
She misses the way his eyes would disappear when he smiled, his soft voice in her ear, whispering sweet nothings while they fell asleep, and she misses his warm embrace, one she had known for too long. A small tear reaches her cheeks as she reminisces about all the sweet moments with him and how all the years they spent together went down the drain because she wasn’t enough for Jimin.
Heejin knows it isn’t her fault, but her mind can’t help but think she isn’t enough, how she will never be enough to be loved or wanted by anyone—Heejin had believed her mother when she told her that, be it verbally or not, and this was all Heejin needed to fully believe her even further, her insecurities reaching its highest peak. Hana is everything Heejin will never be—beautiful, successful, and worthy of her husband’s love and desire.
“Good morning.” You smile slightly, and Heejin only hums in response. You frown and reach for the seat beside your friend, your heart hurting while watching her stir the food inside the pot as if she’s dead inside.
“When did you wake up?”
“Seven, I think, I don’t know.” She mumbles with a broken voice, and you sigh sadly; you hate seeing your friend in such a state because you know how painful it feels and how numb she must be, and it hurts you even more to know that you can’t just make it go away quickly.
“Good morning, Heejin, good morning, sweetheart.” Yoongi appears in front of the counter, heading to the refrigerator with just sweatpants on and no shirt, his bare chest and back showing, your cheeks turning slightly red as your eyes never leave his half-naked body.
“Goddamn.” Heejin whispers, a bit of milk slipping out of her mouth as her eyes stay glued to the same place as you—Yoongi’s bare back. His muscles contract as he fumbles through the fridge, both your and Heejin’s eyes hypnotised. At the same time, you both stare at his back muscles, your cheeks growing even redder and your stomach forming something of butterflies inside it while you stare at his beautiful form.
“Damn, what a good sight to see in the morning.” Heejin bites her lip, her eyes moving up and down, “I’d smash if I cou—” You slap her arm, whispering for her to shut up, and Heejin scowls at you while rolling her eyes.
“Please, as if you weren't staring too, I saw your hungry eyes.” You scoff and slap her again, glaring at her with a warning glare, but this time Yoongi turns around, and you look away, your cheeks becoming a tomato—when did you become a schoolgirl again?
“When will you learn to shut up!” You whisper-yell to Heejin, your face still as red as ever, and Yoongi can’t help but smirk slightly as he continues to go through the fridge.
“Sweetheart and Heejin, would you like anything?” Yoongi asks, turning his head to look at you, and you both shake your heads rapidly, failing to see the smirk on Yoongi’s lips.
“Will you go to the hospital today?” You ask, and Heejin groans, passing her palms through her face in frustration.
“I don’t think I can….” Heejin sighs, and you frown; she’s just like you were, avoiding going to work—but hers is entirely different because Jimin will be there.
“All right, I’ll call Taehyung if you’d like.” You say, and Heejin whines when you say Taehyung’s name, causing you to laugh.
“Ugh, he’s going to kill me.” Heejin presses her head to the counter, and you giggle at her drama; she was always somewhat of a drama queen.
“Don’t be dramatic; Tae is a sweetheart. He’ll totally be understanding.”
Heejin rolls her eyes, “Yeah, to you. He’s a fucking monster with us residents.” Yoongi laughs as he pours water for himself, and you do too.
“Heejin isn’t wrong, he really is someone else at the hospital; I’ve seen it myself; he can be a real asshole.”
“Tell me about it—he once screamed at me because I tripped on the water that HE spilled.”
You three laugh, your heart melting at the sight of seeing a smile on your friend's lips, and you hope the pain in her heart can go away as quickly as possible because Heejin doesn’t deserve the unbearable pain of heartbreak.
You grin once you step inside your clinic, smiling like an idiot once you see your assistant, Haewon, who’s early as always; it’s one of the things you most admire about her; she’s always early or on time for her job no matter what.
Today is finally Friday, and you feel happy inside from going to work. Heejin has helped you move your stuff to your new apartment, which has also become her home as she avoids Jimin and stays inside while eating ice cream and watching romance movies on your newly installed TV. Not only her, but Taehyung and Yoongi have helped you with your heavy boxes, both men taking turns in helping you decorate your new home, and you couldn’t be more thankful to them. Of course, Heejin avoided Taehyung at all costs, saying she didn’t want to get scolded for not going to work and how awkward it is to see her boss outside the hospital, and you never failed to laugh at her remarks.
Taehyung being strict is something you still have to see because you don’t believe it; how can you, when he’s nothing but a sweet bear in front of you?
Jimin has also been calling not only Heejin but also you non-stop for the first two days until she grabbed your phone, yelled at him to stop bothering you and blocked his contact through your phone. Heejin tries to act like she’s fine, but you see how broken she is, especially at night when she cries in your arms while muttering Jimin’s name. It’s only been two days, and you have never seen your best friend so broken and so weak, longing for her husband’s embrace while cursing herself for doing so.
“Good morning, Haewon!” You beam, and your assistant mirrors your smile, a tad confused at your unusual happiness. For the time she’s been your assistant, which has been about eight months; you’ve always been happy in the mornings, making everyone in the room smile with your bright aura—but for these past few weeks, you’ve lost that spark in your eyes, constantly entering the clinic with a forced smile and deep eyebags under your eyes. So, seeing you so cheerful in the morning is strange, but Haewon is happy for you nonetheless; you deserve to be happy after everything you went through.
Haewon has heard you crying inside your office after all your appointments, the walls of your office are not the thickest, but Haewon heard it clearly because she has something of a super-sonic ear, ready to listen to anything it can. There was a day when an older, married couple came to see you. Your cries were so loud that Haewon could feel your pain, and that made her feel bad for you—the pain of a broken heart is the worst, and ever since she saw what it did to you—how it turned a bright, independent woman like you to become the opposite of what you are, Haewon prays she doesn’t have the same fate.
“Good morning, Mrs Ki—____.” Haewon stutters your name, and you giggle slightly before heading to the counter where your assistant is.
“By the way, Haewon, cancel all my appointments after 5 pm today—from now on, I’ll be busy every Friday after that time.” You say with a smile, and Haewon furrows her eyebrows, but do what you command with no questions.
“May I ask the reason?”
You nod, “I’ll be going to therapy.” You chuckle before walking away and entering your office, putting your bag on top of your desk. You bite your lip and look around your office, a happy sigh leaving through your nose—you’re finally back at work, and you sure won’t be going away any time soon.
You put on your white coat, adjusting the slight imperfections, and your eyes roam through your office until it lands on your now half-empty desk. The framed photos of you and him are no longer on it, and it feels weird not to have his smile looking at you during your work, bringing you a sense of comfort that you will always have someone to go back home to.
You flinch slightly when you hear your phone, thankfully taking you off your daze because you know that if you stayed any longer, your mind would wander off to him and your moments together, and you certainly do not feel like crying at work.
You open your phone and sigh when you realise it’s your attorney asking you when your next meeting will be. You close your eyes and lift your head up, trying to distract your mind from the familiar sting in your eyes and the stomach twist at the reminder of your ongoing divorce.
You always forget about it, constantly receiving a reality check when you mention it or receive a message from your attorney, having the reminder that your once thought infinite love has ended, and now it’s going through the stages to make it official.
You call her, a shaky sigh leaving your lips as you hear the beeps from the phone, and you swallow the lump that starts to form on your trachea. “Hello?”
“Hi, Ms Kim, could we meet up? Your husband has already filed the response, and it would make everything much easier if you could meet with him to discuss the agreements. If not, we can always schedule a court meeting.”
You struggle to swallow the saliva in your mouth as you process your attorney’s words, more specifically when she advises you to talk to him. Talking to him, having an actual conversation with Jungkook is something that never crossed your mind; amid everything that went on in your life, you forgot not only about your divorce but also the fact that you might have to communicate with the person you most dread to see.
You’re still weak, a single glimpse of his face is enough to make your heart hurt, and you’re afraid of what might happen to you if you have an actual conversation with him—you’re terrified that your heart might find its way to consider forgiving him, even when he doesn’t even want that forgiveness.
You’re lucky that you will start therapy today—even if you’re still fearful about it—you hope that these thoughts might go away, that your heart might heal its way back to as it was before you met him, even if you feel as if that is not possible; your heart is tainted with his name, and you promised forever, even if he didn’t.
“U-um, yeah, I-I’ll try to talk to h-him this weekend. And um, we can meet Tuesday if you can?”
“Yeah, Tuesday is perfect. Is 6:30 pm alright for you?”
You hum, “That’s perfect.”
“Alright, Ms Kim, see you Tuesday and take care.”
“You too.” You hang up the phone and sigh deeply. You’re about to turn your phone off, but a message from Yoongi stops you from doing so, a small smile tugging on your lips when you see his name at the top bar on your phone.
Hey sweetheart, I hope you have a good day at work! And I hope you like your first therapy session today, and don’t be scared; it’s not that bad once you start it :) You’ll see.
Also, do you know where your therapy session will be? Just out of curiosity.
You furrow your eyebrows and end up texting where your therapist is, despite your suspicion about why Yoongi asked you such a random question.
Oh, that’s not far from where my I work! It’s in front of it, actually.
This makes things easier, then.
Really?? Where is your work building?
It’s the big glass building with a huge ‘Min Enterprises’ written on top; it’s very hard to miss ;)
I’ll make sure to look out for it, haha
What’s your favourite flower?
White roses, why?
Nothing in particular; I was just curious.
Anyway, I've got to go, sweetheart, work’s calling.
Have a great day, sweetheart, and please call me if you need anything.
You too! Have a good day at work, Yoongi :)
You smile and turn off your phone, turning to your desk to sit on your chair, a sigh leaving your lips as you do so. At least you have your work to focus on before starting the journey you’re most afraid of—moving on from Jeon Jungkook.
You’re tapping your feet on the floor as you stand in front of the white door, your breathing stopping every now and then as you wait for the door to open. It feels as if you’re standing for hours, struggling with the anticipation that cripples your being, when in reality, you’ve been standing there for only two minutes.
The door finally opens, revealing a woman in her early forties, who flashes you a bright smile as she holds the door. “You’re Kim ____, right?”
“I’m Dr Kang Aeri; you can come in and get comfortable while I prepare for our session.” She smiles, and you nod. Dr Kang leaves the door, and you take a deep breath before stepping inside, your nails picking the skin of your hands while your eyes scan through the room.
You sit on the couch, slightly bouncing when you do so, and you keep staring at everything around you, unconsciously trying to keep your mind busy, distracting your erratic nerves from anticipating what will happen.
Maybe it’s pathetic, an adult being scared of a therapy session, but you’ve never been to therapy before and never felt the need to do it. It’s not like you didn’t believe in it, you did and do, but you’ve always had people on your side to help you, be it your best friend or your now ex-husband, Jungkook, and you don’t know how to open up to a stranger.
“Alright, shall we start?” You turn your head, flinching slightly when you see she’s already on the chair in front of you, with a notebook in her hands and crossed legs. You gulp and nod your head, your nails playing with your fingers, silence consuming the room for one minute straight.
“So, ____, can I call you by your name?” She asks, and you hum while nodding your head, your voice getting stuck in your throat while you feel your insides stop working—why are you so nervous?
“How are you feeling today?” Doctor Kang asks you, and you gulp, a sigh of relief leaving your lips at the question—this is easy, you can answer this question.
“I’m fine today…” Surprisingly, you wanted to let out but held it back; you don’t want to answer questions you’re not ready for yet. You stare at your hand and start to mess with the ring on your right hand, the ring he gave to you. You don’t know why you’re still wearing it; after everything he put you through, this ring should have been sold for a high price, yet here you are, still wearing the ring that held the promise of forever that wasn’t fulfilled.
“____, tell me about yourself; what brings you here?” She asks, and you gulp the large lump in your throat and clear it before you can start talking, taking an act of prevention, so your voice doesn’t come out cracked.
“U-um, I’m here because….Because my h-husband cheated on m-me.” Your voice cracks when you say the word ‘husband’; this is the first time you’re saying it out loud, the first time that you accept the fact that the man you loved found another woman, and you’re ashamed because tears are already threatening to come out of your eyes five minutes in your therapy session.
“I-I’m sorry, God, I’m already c-crying.” You wipe your tears, looking at the ground, trying to avoid Dr Kang’s eyes on you.
“There is no need to be ashamed, ____—this is a safe space for you and your feelings; the more you let out, the better, okay?” You nod your head, clearing your throat and wiping all the tears that managed to escape your eyes. “Let’s start simple; tell me about you and your husband.”
“U-um, well, I met him while I was in med school…I bumped into him while walking through the halls, spilling my coffee on him, and then we became friends, I guess….” You clear your throat, the vivid memory of your first meeting filling your mind, tears threatening to leave your eyes once more. “We started dating about a year after our first encounter, and…Well, it has been almost six years since then….”
“When did you learn he was cheating on you?” Your breathing hitches at her question; right to the point, wasn’t she?
“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer; we can talk about something else if you’d like.” She offers you a smile, but you shake your head; you came here to heal, and if that means going through pain, then so be it.
“N-no, it’s okay.” You exhale a hot breath, “It was s-a month and some weeks ago.” You inhale a deep breath, your lips almost trembling from remembering the fateful day that changed your relationship, maybe your whole life. Your eyes start stinging again as the vivid image of your husband’s guilty eyes, admitting his act of infidelity toward you; the fact that he didn’t deny it, that he didn’t comfort you as your whole world crumbled around you ever fails to make your heart squeeze in pain.
He sighs in defeat, you would have to know eventually, and it will only hurt more if he denies it any longer. “Eunbi.” He whispers slowly, and you close your eyes, slowly inhaling the oxygen surrounding you.
But your plan falters, and your body betrays you. “Jungkook, why?” Your voice breaks, your eyes still closed as a single tear manages to escape your watering eyes.
“How did you know he was cheating?”
How did you know?
“I….” You stop and think, your eyes fixing themselves on the tapestry. He surely didn’t tell you until you cornered him that night, but you already knew; you knew it a month before everything splashed in your face.
You saw it in his actions; how cold he acted towards you, his late arrivals, the love slipping from his eyes whenever he looked at you, and your gut screaming at you that something was wrong, even if you tried to illude yourself that maybe it was your insecurities tricking you—you knew; you just misled yourself to believe the fantasy you created in your head that everything was okay.
“I guess I-I already knew….” You sigh sadly, and Dr Kang urges you to go on with her eyes, nodding her head at you. “H-he would always come late; he started to get c-cold with me, a-always keeping his sentences short with me and….I-I told myself it wasn’t true, even when I saw the red lipstick stains on his neck.” You wince at the memory, a single tear managing to fall to your cheeks when you vividly remember the sight that made your heart ache, the red stain on his neck you saw just a week before everything fell around you.
You smile when you hear the front door opening; Jungkook is finally back. He’s late, as usual, but you decided to wait for him this time instead of going to sleep in the hope of surprising him.
“Hi, kookie.” You grin and reach up to peck his cheeks, standing up on tip-toes, something you always do when he comes home after you, but this time he doesn’t smile when your lips reach his cheek; instead, he flinches and pushes you away.
“Oh, is everything okay?” You ask, your heart falling to your stomach at his action, tears almost threatening to form inside your eyes, but by some miracle, you’re able to contain them.
“I-I’m just tired, and you caught me by surprise….” He slightly stutters and takes your arms off him before heading to the fridge. With a scrunched face, you follow him and your breath hitches when you catch sight of something in his neck that makes your heart burn—a red stain on the right side of his neck.
“Jungkook.” You say with a soft voice, and the stiffness of his body when you call him by his name doesn’t go unnoticed—you almost never call him by his full name.
“What is that stain on your neck?” You ask with suspicion in your voice, your mind going fuzzy with the possibilities and contradicting thoughts, and your lip almost trembles at the mere thought of it being someone else’s lipstick.
Jungkook clears his throat while turning his head towards you, and you walk toward him, waiting for a plausible explanation for the red marks that only you are supposed to leave on his neck. Indeed he must have a good reason for this—he loves you, doesn’t he?
“O-oh, there was this patient, and she kissed my neck after I saved her husband; I had no idea she stained my neck; thanks for letting me know, b-baby.” He laughs nervously, and you sigh in relief, but you feel the deep feeling inside your gut—something tells you that something’s wrong, that he’s lying to you. Still, instead of pushing it even further, you believe his words and the lies of your heart that he would never do such a thing to you, and you’re just overreacting.
The explanation seems too specific to be a lie, and your stupid self finds it in you to believe it. But little did you know; the lies were created by none other than the woman he finds comfort in at night when you’re waiting for him to come home.
You let out a trembled sigh at the memory, your chest starting to sink when you remember everything, his cold eyes and actions, and you can’t help but curse yourself for being so naive and dumb, to the point where you believed his lies. Your mind starts to wonder again—was everything just a lie you made yourself believe in?
“I-I tried to make myself believe that he would never do that to me, a-and that I was just overreacting….God, I’m crying too much.” You chuckle while wiping your tears, and Dr Kang starts writing in her notepad while you do it.
“It’s okay to cry, ____; it’s actually very healthy that you do so, and we’re in a place of no judgement, I promise you.” You nod your head, exhaling a shaky breath while your crying thankfully stops, at least for the time being.
You sniffle, wiping your nose with a paper on the counter next to you, and feeling Dr Kang’s eyes on you, waiting for you to prepare yourself before she can talk to you again.
“How did you feel when he told you about it?”
“I-I….” Your tears start falling again, a small sob escaping your lips, your hands starting to tremble along with your body as you start to feel everything you’ve been wanting to avoid, the same feelings you felt the moment you knew about the cheating—worthless and betrayed.
“It’s okay; take your time; there is no rush.” You nod rapidly while your hands go to your face, your palms getting soaked in the river of tears that fall through your cheeks as shame fills you whole—why must you still feel so horrible, so fazed by the mere memory of him?
“I f-felt horrible, as if—as if my whole world was crumbling, and pain on my chest. I loved him; I still love him, and knowing he cheated made me want to throw up….I have never felt s-so little, like I’m not worth a-anything.” Your voice breaks, another cry coming out of your lips. “How could h-he do it? And t-the worst part is, the woman is his ex-girlfriend f-from college, his fucking first l-love! And she’s so—s-she’s so beautiful, and that m-made me even more miserable.”
Your chest moves up and down at a radical pace as you let everything out, feeling the residues of your stomach burning in your throat while your mouth starts to hurt from all the sobs you let out.
“You feel as if you’re not worth it because he found someone ‘prettier’ than you?”
“Y-yes. S-she has always been in his heart from day one, e-even after a year of dating, he s-still wasn’t over, and I-I was just too dumb to let him go.” Your heart aches—there, you said it, you finally said it out loud just how dumb you were never to let him go when he showed the signs from day one; how could you be so blind from love to miss them?
“I-I can’t help but compare myself to her—how I wasn’t pretty enough for him, how I wasn’t skinny enough for him and how my love wasn’t enough for him; everything in my head tells me that I will never be enough for anyone.”
“She’s his ex-girlfriend?” She asks, and you hum, lifting your head and sighing loudly while continuing to wipe your tears with your hands.
“Y-yes….When Jungkook and I started dating, he still wasn’t over her, and I stupidly waited for him; I-I was patient with him because I loved h-him so much I-I didn’t want to let go….Fuck, saying it out loud, I-I realise just how pathetic I was, my God….” You whimper, passing your hands through your hair while you groan silently, continuing to cry as the memories of your early college days fill your mind, resenting your past self for being so dumb.
"I know you can't say it; I know you're still not over her." You grab his head, taking it off your head and looking deeply into his brown eyes, the eyes you see your whole universe—your future in. "But I'll wait for you, Jungkook; I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait years if that means you'll love me back one day." You smile, a small tear forming in your eyes.
How could you let love blind you so much, so quickly? How could you become one of the people you used to hate the most—people who put others before themselves in the name of love, people who have so little self-respect? You never understood them until it happened to you, and God, do you regret ever meeting him and letting him take your heart.
You gulp, “I j-just don’t want to feel like this anymore—I’ve already cried so much, and I feel so pathetic, so worthless b-because I-I was always the s-second choice. I feel like it’s my fault that I wasn’t enough for him and….and I—I hate myself for still loving h-him after everything he put me through.” You sob once more, crying into your palms as your ankles lay on your thighs, feeling the shame of crumbling down in front of a stranger and admitting your pathetic feelings, drawing in self-pity and self-hatred. “I just want to forget him, b-but I can’t.”
“I see.” She starts, and you wipe your tears, your mind beginning to overthink and mistaking the softness in her eyes for something else—she’s judging you, isn’t she?
“Getting cheated on isn’t easy; it can destroy not only our self-confidence but also our mental health, and it seems to me you’re going through the stages of getting cheated on. Getting over your relationship is a rough path, and the path of moving on is a thorny one, but it can only get better from here if you choose to help yourself—being here today is already a big step toward reaching the last stage.”
You scratch your now red eyes, wiping your tears with another paper you got from beside you, listening carefully to Dr Kang’s words while trying not to let yourself crumble in front of her again.
“There are different ways to cope; some people like to take time for themselves and get back into their old hobbies like reading or painting, and others like to immerse themselves with their passion, which may be their work or any other thing such as dancing. What do you like to do?”
You stop and think for a few seconds—what do you like doing? You’ve only known Jungkook’s arms for so many years that you forgot to take time for yourself, to go back to your passions, that you can’t even remember anymore as your head immediately thinks of him whenever it hears the word comfort and warmth.
“I….I really loved to read and paint, and I-I also love the night sky.” Dr Kang nods and scribbles on her notebook, and you gulp, waiting for her to start talking again.
“That’s good; what do you think of starting to take time out of your day to read or take a walk alone during the night? Small steps are what will help you reach the end of your journey; taking time for yourself will help you realise your self-worth.”
You nod, your nose continuing to sniffle as you process each word that comes out of Dr Kang’s mouth. “Some people also like to talk to their ex-partners for a sense of closure, but I understand if you’re not ready—it takes courage and strength to be able to confront them and seek a sense of closure, which sometimes doesn’t happen.”
You breathe in and out, thinking about her words. You know that if you talk to him if you see him again, there is a high possibility you’ll cry and an even higher likelihood that your heart might want to forgive him and take him back—but you also know you need to talk to him; you need to know the answer to the question that never fails to taunt you; why he cheated on you when you were nothing but good to him. You also need to talk to him about the divorce because you certainly don’t want to schedule a meeting in court.
“I think…I think I want to talk to him; maybe I’m not ready, but I need to know why a-and talk to him about the divorce….”
“Have you filed it already?”
“Y-yes, some weeks ago.” You sigh sadly at the mention of the word divorce, the word you have always avoided like the plague, the possibility of it ever happening being your worst nightmare—but here you are, living every piece of your darkest nightmare that always haunted you.
“Alright, ___, there’s a lot we will need to work on. Are you ready?”
You bid goodbye to Dr Kang and finally leave the office with somewhat of a feeling of lightness in your body; therapy wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Yoongi grins, his hands behind his back, and you look at him with suspicion in your eyes, hesitating to embrace him in a hug.
“What are you hiding in there?” You point to his hands when you break the hug, and his grin widens, his hands finally getting off his back. A low gasp gets out of your mouth when he reveals the single white rose in his hand, your heart squeezing when you realise the reason he asked for your favourite flower earlier.
“Wh-what’s this for?!” You ask with another soft gasp, a smile never leaving Yoongi’s lips at your adorable reaction.
“To celebrate your baby step—your first therapy session. It may not seem like a lot, but it is, and I’m really proud of you, sweetheart.” Your breath gets stuck in your throat, your heart beating fast at his words, fluttering heavily for the first time in what feels like forever, and you’re thrilled, yet your body can’t help but feel….scared.
This feeling isn’t foreign to you, but the only man that ever made you feel this way is now in the arms of another. Feeling all giddy like this again makes your brain excited but beyond terrified of what this might mean because you’re not ready—you still love Jungkook even if you wholeheartedly don’t want to; your heart still belongs to him even after everything he put you through.
But slowly, especially after today’s session, you’re starting to let go of him, fully accepting the fact that he chose another. It’s not easy when you still want him to be yours deep down, but you’re making progress, and baby steps are better than making no steps at all.
Yoongi brings you a sense of ease, a sense of something fresh and new; even if it may make you beyond scared, almost petrified on the spot, you also want to get lost in the feeling of lightness, trying to take your head off all the dark emotions that consume your heart—and Yoongi brings you just that.
You jump in Yoongi’s arms, and he huffs when you do so, catching him by surprise, but he hugs you back the minute your arms wrap around his neck. “Thank you, Yoongi, thank you so much.” You smile, your eyes stinging from the overwhelming feeling in your heart—it feels complete, forgetting about all its scars and broken pieces; it only focuses on the sense of fullness, appreciating every ounce of it.
“Ah, it’s nothing, sweetheart.” He smiles while he leans his head on the crook of his neck, enjoying the feeling of you so close to him, letting himself get lost in your arms. You finally break the hug, which was a long one, both of you getting lost in the comfort of each other’s embrace, and a whine almost leaves Yoongi’s mouth when you do so.
“I’ll walk you home; what do you say?” He asks, and you nod with a small beam on your lips.
And somehow, you both end up strolling at the beach with the stars shimmering above you, your feet feeling the texture of the sand while you and Yoongi stay in silence and just enjoy the sounds of the waves crashing on each other.
You were sure your heart would pain at the thought of the sea at night, that it would remember the night where you thought your love with Jungkook would last beyond infinity—but it doesn’t; it brings you comfort. With your friend by your side, you let yourself get lost in the music of the ocean while having the thing you love the most shining above you, and you’re proud of yourself for not connecting the scene to Jungkook.
The wind nips your nose, blowing your hair as you feel the chilly weather kissing your face. “How was your first session?” Yoongi breaks the silence, and you smile slightly, staring at the path before you while slowly walking with Yoongi, never leaving your side.
“It was surprisingly good.” You chuckle, “She told me to start doing things I love again, focus on myself to try and help on my path to get over him.” Yoongi nods at your words, a faint smile on his lips; he feels glad that you enjoyed your first session—he feels proud of you.
“I told you therapy wasn’t that bad; I’m sure you’ll enjoy it even more in the long run.”
You continue to walk, talking about your session, keeping some details here and there a secret. You both stop, and at the horizon filled with sparkling stars, the heartbeat inside your chest and the ocean singing a melody in your ears, you close your eyes, letting yourself go of the satisfying feeling inside you.
Yoongi looks at you as if you’re the only girl he has ever seen, his eyes never leaving yours as he gets lost in the maze inside your beautiful eyes, and Yoongi feels grateful to be in sight of such a wonderful woman, even if he knows the high possibilities that you might never be his, that you will never reciprocate his feelings. He forgets about it all and savours every part of this rare moment that’s only you and him.
You open your eyes and turn your head to stare at Yoongi, and your breath hitches as you do so. You gaze at every detail of his feature, going through his siren eyes, feeling your heart pick its pace at every second you continue to take his beauty in. Time stops, and everything around you vanishes; you and he are the only creatures in the world, your eyes dilating as you feel a rush of euphoria as your eyes never leave his face, and when he turns to look at you, your heart drops to your stomach.
You can’t think or feel; his eyes are the only thing in your mind while you hear your erratic heartbeat in your ears, your lungs stopping to breathe, and your sanity going fuzzy, getting lost in the feeling of your mind being clouded by the overwhelming sereneness. Looking into his brown eyes, you feel a secret paradise, one you’ve been seeking for so many years.
And you don’t think because you grab his cheeks and kiss him, going against every sense of rationality left inside your mind.
The kiss isn’t rushed; it’s slow and passionate, both you and Yoongi enjoying the feeling of each other’s lips, forgetting about each one of your problems; it’s only you and him at this moment, and he will enjoy every second of it.
His hand goes up to cup your right cheek, caressing it lovingly with his thumb while his mind explodes with your lips on his, and your whole body shakes from the pleasure you feel in this moment, but in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think…..is this wrong?
You break the kiss slowly, feeling his hot breath on your skin that causes shivers to trail your spine, and for a few seconds, none of you says anything, only enjoying the intimate warmth of each other’s bodies close to each other without the need to say anything.
“Yoongi….” You whisper, your foreheads touching each other, sparks flying around your skin while your hands touch his blazer, your eyes shut as your eyes start to sting.
“I know, sweetheart,” Yoongi whispers, his hands caressing your hair while his forehead never leaves yours, his eyes closed while he gets lost in the feeling of having you close to him.
“I-I….” Your voice gets stuck in your throat—there are many things you want to say; how you’re afraid, how you’re not ready, but your body can’t seem to find the words in you and ruin the precious moment that might never happen again.
“There’s no need to say anything now; let’s just stay like this for a bit, yeah?” He says, his voice low as his breath hits your cold nose, goosebumps coursing through your skin, and you nod your head, letting your mind back to the comfort of this moment of having Yoongi so close to you, allowing yourself feel safe again.
You don’t stop your urge, and your lips find their way to his again, your body betraying your screaming brain—but red his lips are too good to ignore, taunting you and aching to feel your lips again.
Your mouth moves in sync with his, slowly yet passionately, picking its pace at every moment that passes by and enchanting your heart from the melody of the sea, mixing with the euphoria his tongue dancing with yours brings you.
The kiss starts to pick up its pace, his tongue painting the walls of your mouth, and yours his, while you feel wet drops on your skin. Your hands wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss and bringing him closer than he already was, your body shivering when Yoongi breaks the kiss to connect his lips to the skin of your neck.
You pull him from you by his hair and catch his lips again, your hands fumbling with his hair, and he groans, vibrations going through your mouth when he does it. Your fingers tug on his long hair, and his hands slightly squeeze your cheeks, never roaming to a part below your face.
And finally, after what seems like hours, you break the kiss slowly, your body panting and trying to get over the rush of adrenaline that fuzzes your mind. Both your eyes are closed, breathing on each other while you hold each other close, embracing each other, not ever wanting to let go.
“Yoongi…” You start again, your tongue smoothly rolling out his name while your eyes are still shut, not wanting to open them because you know if you do, guilt will spread to your body like wildfire. Yoongi opens his eyes, admiring your beautiful face with a small pang of pain and slight guilt in his heart—he doesn’t regret it, but he feels like he should because he knows you’re not ready for anything other than yourself.
“I know you’re not ready, sweetheart, I know…I never intended for this to happen so early, but I promise you I’m not here to take advantage of you, okay? I’m only here to help you, and I’ll wait for you if I need to.” You finally open your eyes, his words hitting your heart in the best way possible, a single tear leaving your eyes when you look at him.
“No, wait, no….” You look down, and Yoongi scrunches his eyebrows, and the guilt spreads inside you; you didn’t intend to lose yourself in the feeling he brought you, to act so impulsively to the point where you ignored your senses of rationality.
“Please, Yoongi, don’t-don’t wait for me. Because I-I know what it’s like to fall for someone who didn’t get over another person; and fuck, it’s hell, and I don’t want you to go through that, please….”
He chuckles, wiping the lonely tear that stains your cheek, “Okay, sweetheart, I won’t wait for you—but I will continue to help you. Is that alright? I promise I will never cross the boundary if you don’t want me to.”
You jump on his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck once again while tears fill your eyes, feeling all sorts of emotions from his words, not being able to grasp that a man like him exists. “Thank you, Yoongi, thank you so much. And I-I hope you know you can count on me too; I’m always here for you.” Yoongi smiles, hugging you back and resting his head on your shoulder—he doesn’t feel remorseful that you may not be his, he doesn’t feel sad; he feels grateful to have you in his arms, be it as friends or not.
You wince when you feel drops on your hair and face, realising the sky decided to rain. “All right, shall we get out of here?” Yoongi asks, breaking the hug, and you nod with a smile on your lips, the tears that flow through your cheeks mixing with the drops of rain mixing with your face.
And for what it feels like the first time—your heart feels light, fully believing that you’ll be okay.
Jungkook doesn’t know why he’s here, in front of the beach where he proposed to you, his eyes staring at the horizon while his mind can't help but think of anyone other than you.
His eyes are scanning through the beach, his eyes remembering every vivid moment of your smile, feeling your touch on his that manages to bring shivers to his spine. His gaze stops a couple of many meters away from him, and his chest doesn’t fail to stop moving when he does so because he can only think of you and him.
He shouldn’t feel like this; he chose his path, he made his decision, one that didn’t involve you, and Jungkook thought it would make him happy, but now, being here with his mind lingering with his moments with you, he starts to feel the pain of his decision….He made a mistake, didn’t he?
You were the most wonderful woman to have beside; you were understanding, full of love to give everyone in the world, and with a smile that was enough to make him faint with all the love he felt. He shouldn’t have let his insecurities take over, to let it destroy your relationship.
He looks at the couple, and the woman feels familiar; he knows that hair like the back of his hand….It’s none other than you.
His eyes go wide, and his heart drops when you kiss the man in front of you….Yoongi.
Jungkook goes pale, and his eyes start to sting as he watches the scene in front of him, his heart aching when he sees you kissing someone, someone that isn’t him.
It hurts even more when he knows that he isn’t supposed to feel the heartburn inside him, but Jungkook does, and it’s the worst pain he has ever felt. Jungkook has had severe injuries, ones that broke many parts of his body; he has been a boxer for a long time, receiving the most painful punches to make you faint on the spot—but nothing beats this; seeing the woman who once was yours kissing another guy in front of you, and not being able to do anything.
He can’t stay here; he needs to go away, or else he might do something he will regret later.
Jungkook leaves, running to his penthouse with his heart feeling like it was taken off his chest. The rain starts to pour in his head, fitting the melancholy of his mood as he walks home with inhumane pain inside his body. He doesn’t cry as he enters his elevator; it all feels like a fever dream; is this really happening—are you already moving on from him?
Jungkook opens the door to his house, sighing loudly as he throws his handbag across the room, not caring where it lands. While walking to his room, his feet dragging his numb body, Jungkook stumbles into one of the boxes resting on the ground, almost falling in the process. Cursing under his breath, Jungkook turns around to kick the box in anger but stops when he realises it’s not just any cardboard box; it’s the box that holds your things, the ones you forgot to take with you.
His eyes soften, and his figure stops in his place, staring at the box without moving a muscle. His mind goes to the scene he witnessed not even ten minutes ago, an ache in his chest rising even more.
It’s become too much for him to be able to deny it; he misses you.
Seeing you with another man should’ve made him happy; it should’ve made him relieved that you’re finding your happiness again—but it didn’t.
It made him feel miserable, it made tears well up in his brown eyes, and worst of all, it made him regret it. It made him regret ever giving up on your relationship, letting himself submit to another person’s embrace and letting his insecurities take over. And now that Jungkook’s here, seeing your things splattered on the floor, he finally realises how much he went wrong, how much he fucked up, and how much he still loves you.
How could he let his shame take over his emotions and, worst of all, ruin his relationship with you?
And finally, Jungkook cries, loud sobs leaving the depths of his chest as the scene of you and another man kissing fills his brain, the voices in his head screaming at him for being so dumb ever to let you go, to let himself get blinded by the false comfort someone else brought him.
Jungkook cries like never before, letting his painful mewls fill the deserted penthouse while his mind only thinks of you—every time he shifts his eyes, he can only see you. He cries because he loves you, he cries because he misses you, he cries because he was an idiot, and he cries because he wishes to do the impossible and go back in time to love you with no consequences again.
He goes over to his counter and grabs his most potent vodka, chugging it down from the bottle with deep swallows, not caring about the burning pain that goes down his trachea—the only pain he can feel is the one in his heart that longs for you and your love again.
And the next thing Jungkook knows, he’s driving his car, feeling dizzy with the pain that courses through his body and mixes with the intoxication that clouds his thoughts.
And with the last working thought in his head, Jungkook does something he may regret—he dials your number.
“Do you want some water?” Yoongi pecks your cheek and goes to the fridge, but you deny his offer, saying thank you afterwards. You both decided to go back to his house as it’s much closer than your new apartment, and neither one of you wanted to walk too much under what soon became heavy rain.
Yoongi gave you his blazer so you wouldn’t feel so cold, which you’re still wearing right now with soaked hair and a slightly trembling body. “I accept some hot c-coffee if you have it.”
“Shit, you’re trembling.” Yoongi starts to panic, and gets the first blanket he sees, Sungho’s dinosaur blanket, and wraps it around you as fast as he can. You’re about to thank him, but the doorbell ringing cuts you off, and you both furrow your eyebrows.
“Hold on; I’ll get that.” Yoongi goes to the main door, and you follow him, even if you’re wrapped in a blanket, just like a burrito. Yoongi opens the door, and you see a familiar person in front of him, your eyes going wide as you realise who it is.
“Akari?” Yoongi whispers, the glass of water in his hand dropping to the floor, breaking into millions of pieces as Yoongi’s eyes never leave the woman before him. He’s paralysed, in a trance, his brain not believing his own eyes as he stares at the woman who broke his heart so many years ago, the woman who destroyed him—his ex-wife.
You don’t have time to process anything because you hear your phone ringing, and you accept it, not bothering to check who it is. “Hello?” You whisper, and you flinch when you hear sobs coming from the other end of the line, and your heart stops because you know who it is the instant you hear his deep breath.
“I’m so s-sorry, ____. I’m so fucking sorry, God, I’m a h-horrible hu-human being! I-I love you; I’m so s-sorry!” Jungkook whimpers and the blood drains from your face the minute you comprehend his stumbling words, and you know—he’s drunk.
“Jungkook, what the fuck are y-you doing?!” You shout, causing both Yoongi and Akari to look at you, but you only focus on Jungkook’s erratic breathing and the beats of your heart in your ears, not caring about anything else around you.
“Fuck, i-it’s a red light.” He curses, and your eyes grow even wider when you realise what he is doing while intoxicated.
“Jungkook, holy fuck, are you DRIVING?!” Your hand goes to your head, panting at the realisation that Jungkook is driving while drunk—and you know how clumsy he can be while on the influence.
“I l-lost the b-best thing that ever happened to me b-because I was so fucking s-selfish. I-I’m s-so sorry.” He cries, and you do, too, begging for him to stop the car, but he doesn’t listen to you and continues to apologise, stumbling over his words while you hear loud car horns that fill the background.
“Jungkook, please, listen to me, stop the car! W-we can talk about this; just p-please stop the car!”
“I love you ___, p-please, I-I’m sorry—”
“STOP THE FUCKING CAR, JUNGKOOK!�� You scream, sobs leaving your throat while you struggle to breathe, crouching down to the floor while you cry your heart out—the words he shouts to you stab your heart; your head and heart can’t take this.
“I love y-you, ____, I lo—s-shit!” You hear a loud crash noise, and you scream his name over and over again, only listening to the ringing in your ears, shutting down the world around you while your heart stops, and so does the line.
“Jungkook?! Jungkook?! Answer, please!”
Call has ended
don’t hesitate to leave feedback or reblog if you like this fic!! tysm
i got really nervous from posting this one....it messed a lot with my emotions as I stated up in the note, but anyways....how are you feeling? hope u liked this chapter <3 thank you so much for reading, i love u a lot ♡
taglist — @afiaaaa19 @coquettebooknerd @qrjjk @arimsplayground @sparklingprimrose @ssaltytears @heavenlymidnights @bergandysam @chokoomilk @koobsessed @koichikewchie @sabrinaselina55 @ziko @bbtsficrecs @Pearleite @taesight @seajae @jalexad @jaegarbae @tnrthings @boredcatto @plaksha-jammoria @squawkadoodledoo @zshenbi @hollyweird0 @sweetempathprunetree @julibeth @woah-jo @olivi4readss @rintarhoes00 @onlythehobi @hoseokteardrop @heyitshreeya @jk-190811
idk why some people aren’t tagging i’m sorry :(
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Black cat au stuff 4
1. Black cat introduces himself by saying, "I'm Black Cat, but you'll soon know me as the one that got away!"
2. Joker did something to anger Danny so he decided to humiliate the clown. How you may ask? Pies. Lots and lots of pies. Hes invisible when he does it so no one actually knows its him doing it but the Joker hasn't been able to get through one monolog or do even a single dramatic entrance since all this began.
Jason is loving it.
3. Danny started visiting Arkam as Black Cat and casually chatting and befriending the people he liked. I say "visiting" but no one is really sure how he keeps getting in or out, and he doesn't obey the visiting hours policy, but he brings snacks and keeps the patients calm. It's almost like he has a comforting aura about him. Strange.
4. Danny knows Red Robin is amazing with computers but so is he. He essentially used a combo of ghost magic and coding to make a sort of digital boobie trap against anyone who tried to get into his devices/obtain his information.
Danny isn't sure how Red Robin and Oracle had done it, but they managed to set off the trap not only on thier own devices but onto every device in Gotham which was hilarious because it left Danny laugh-crying on the floor of his flower shop as the entire city of Gotham got Rick Rolled. They even got the radio towers! How???!
The scene repeated a few days later and Dannys actually impressed that they made it worse somehow as the new song he selected (The english/Metal cover of Caramelldansen) blasted now in Gotham, the Titans Tower, the Watchtower, and Mt. Justice for three whole hours before they managed to turn it off.
5. Danny loves giving the Batfam gummy worms to snack on. He even found a nice vegan brand for Damian since he's vegetarian.
6. Danny buys these dumb realistic fangs and shows them off to Nightwing and Robin saying, "Careful, I bite!"
Nightwing laughs while Robin turns an interesting shade of red. Unfortunately for him, Alley Cat noticed and upon seeing the smirk on her face he knew that she knew.
Alley proceeds to flop between taking delight in placing Robin and Black Cat in awkward crush situations and being a wingwoman.
Catwoman watches all of it through Alley and Black's cameras like a prime soap opera.
7. Might be related to 6 but Damian/Robin keeps finding new and perfectly excusable ways to hold Danny/Black Cat. Like, start up bridal style. At some point Danny got so used to Robin and Damian picking him up and will just chill in thier arms until it becomes awkward or bird boy is forced to put him down.
8. The cats are always careful to avoid anyone with a sensitivity to the supernatural after this one psychic lady started screaming in terror when she saw/sensed him.
Imagine his and Zatannas mutual horror upon meeting! Danny just blurts out he's cursed as a cover up for being a super powerful undead eldrich creature
The batfam: What?!
Zatanna: *internally screaming cause what could possibly leave a curse like that*
Danny: ...oh ancients, what have I done.
9. Dani falls in love with this show called Moster High cause the characters are "like her" and Danny is just happy she has role models until she forces him to watch it and now they sing the intro song together often. Danny is a good big brother.
10. Cass just starts randomly referring to Kitty as her brother-in-law and everyone in the Justice Leage is confused- especially when they're told its the baby of the family whos engaged.
Kitty is brought to The Watchtower for whatever reason you can come up with and Cass explains they have a prank going on where they convinced the Justice Leage that he and Robin were engaged and asked him to play along.
Kitty, being a little chaos gremlin, agreed and playfully flirted with Damian all day. It was the goodbye kiss at the end that made Robin decide he owed Cass big time.
TRAITOR | JJ Maybank
Summary: Based on the song “Traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo.
Word Count: 1.5k
Authors Note: Repost from my old blog, edited it a bit though!
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
That you‘d talk to her, maybe did worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
You watched as JJ flew after Kiara, picking her up and swinging her around while she giggled. You wiped your tears, he was supposed to meet you at movies tonight. You messaged him 6 times, called him twice, and left a voice mail.
Of course, he never answered. He was too busy with Kiara to even send you a message back. You were the one dating him, not her, so why did this keep on happening?
You went home that night, sulking in bed and watching your favorite tv show when you got a message from him.
Sorry, love. I had to fill in for a co-worker, how ’bout I make it up to you next friday?
Lies. What a filthy liar, you just saw him earlier that night with Kiara. You type out a response:
Why are you lying to me?
You hit the backspace, deciding not to send that to him and instead send him this:
yeah, okay. it’s fine, have a goodnight xoxo
And ain’t it funny
How you ran to her
The second that we called it quits?
Walking out of your bathroom, you hear light tapping on your window. You walk over to the window, opening the curtains to reveal JJ. He grins at you before signaling for you to unlock the window.
Instead, you roll your eyes and close your curtains, hoping he would take the message. But he doesn’t, and continues to tap on your window more louder and faster. “C’mon, Y/N! Let me in!” You hear him, his voice being muffled.
He continues to tap on the window, you start growing more annoyed with him so you open the curtains again. “What do you want?”
He stops tapping.“Whoa, looks like someone’s moody today—”
”Moody? You left me waiting outside of the movies for 2 hours!” You shout, anger coursing through your body.
“You’re still mad at me for that? I apologized, I told you I was covering for a co-worker!”
You laugh sarcastically, “‘Co-worker’? You’re such a fucking liar!”
”What do you mea—”
”I saw you with Kiara!”
His expression falls. “Look, I can explain!”
”Explain how you stood me up? How you lied about hanging out with Kiara?”
”Are you cheating on me?”
”What? No! Never in a m—”
“JJ… I don’t think this is gonna work out.” You say so quietly that he almost doesn’t hear, but he does, and that sends him in full panic mode. “What? No, no, no. Look, let me explain—”
”You should go, JJ.” You say, avoiding eye contact with him, knowing that if you looked into his eyes you would start crying.
”Y/N. Please.” He begs and tries to open the window, failing.
You don’t answer, instead closing the curtains and walking away. Quickly coming back to see if he was still there, peeking through the curtains. He wasn’t there. Instead he was hoping into the passenger seat of Kiara’s car.
Ain’t it funny
How you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don’t look like it
You decided to treat yourself to some ice cream. You went ahead and walked to the cream shack, ordering yourself a double scooped cone of cookies ‘n cream.
You get your ice cream and start to walk out of the shack, noticing JJ and Kiara sitting walking together a short distance away, ice cream cones in their hands. Their backs were facing you, thank god, but you couldn’t help but feel the ache in your heart at the sight of them.
You continue to watch the both of them, holding your soon-to-be-melted-ice-cream in your hand. Kiara spins around, her eyes falling on you. You freeze before rushing off, feeling embarrassed.
You betrayed me
And I know you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You’d talk to her
When we were together
You cuddled up into JJ, trying to get his attention because he was on his phone all night. “Hm?” He mumbles, looking at you before looking back at his phone. “You’ve been in your phone since we started the movie.”
He puts his phone down. “Sorry.”
You smiled in satisfaction, proud of yourself for getting his attention, “There’s a new restaurant in town. I was hoping we could tr—”
”Can’t. I have plans with Kiara.” He says quickly, interrupting you. He didn’t even let you finish your sentence.
”Kiara?” You ask, moving away from his body, he looks at you weird. “Yeah… Kiara?”
You've noticed that he had been spending a lot of time with Kiara lately. Why couldn’t he just go to a restaurant with you for a hour? “You’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately.”
He scoffs. “Are you seriously jealous? I don’t have to hang out with you all the time. Okay? Me and her, we’re just friends.”
Loved you at your worst
But that didn’t matter
You hear your window slide open, swinging around quickly, expecting an intruder to be climbing in, but instead it was JJ. A bruised JJ.
You rush up to him. “Hey- Hey? Are you okay?” You quickly examine his face, a black eye forming, a split lip, a scratch on his forehead and cheek, and probably more on the rest of his body.
”I’m fine! Y’know, just a run in with my dad. Everything is good.” He says, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a kiss. He kisses you, flinching at the pain coursing through his lips from his cut. You notice this, immediately stopping. “C’mon” You take his hand and take him into your bathroom. You pat the counter twice, signaling for him to sit.
He sits on it, groaning slightly. You begin rummaging around for a first aid kit— finding one and pulling it out. JJ watches you intently, studying how you scrunch your nose up when concentrating.
You whip out the rubbing alcohol before applying it on a some tissue and lightly dabbing it on JJ’s cuts. Him being used to the rubbing alcohol, he doesn’t flinch as much. The burning sensation not as strong as it was when he was younger.
You finish up on his face, applying cream to his scratches before lightly kissing his nose. “Anywhere else?”
He forces a smile. “No. Can we just go cuddle and watch a movie? Maybe your kisses will cure me.”
You frown. “JJ… Can you take your shirt off?”
”Why not? I thought you liked showing off those abs?” You tease, tapping his knee.
He whines. “I do! But— It’s just hot— cold. It’s too cold in here.”
”JJ, come on. please?” You ask softly.
He nods hesitantly, letting you raise his shirt you gasp loudly when you notice the huge bruise forming on his side. He pushes his shirt down quickly. “Cuddles?” He asks, regretting that he let you see the purple bruise forming.
“JJ—” You start.
”It’s fine, just a bruise. It’s from surfing anyways.” He exclaims, jumping off the counter and dragging you towards the bed.
You stop him. “I’m being serious JJ! Stop lying, okay?”
”I’m not lying.” He says, forcing another smile before dragging you into bed.
You give in. Him being the small spoon and silently wishing that you wouldn’t bring up his bruises anymore, just wanting to go to sleep in your arms.
But it kept on bothering you. The fact that he was hurt. He needed help, he needed to ice it. “JJ—” You start. “Y/N, Just stop, okay! I don’t need you in my business every 5 seconds!” He snaps, pushing your arms off and abruptly sitting up.
“Im just trying to help… I’m sorry.” You say, a sharp pang of guilt pooling in your stomach. You didn’t mean to push too far, you just wanted to help him.
And that’s when he bursted into tears.
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
“16…10…2..” You repeated to yourself, trying to open your locker. JJ always helped you with this, always managing to open it after the first try.
The locker remains locked. “Damnit!” You whisper-shouted. You had to get your textbooks out for English. You guys were taking notes today for your test tomorrow, an important test.
You try one more time before giving up, you sigh in defeat before turning around, noticing JJ… walking towards Kiara, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
You couldn’t hear what they were saying because they were down the hall, but you could see that Kiara was excited. Really excited. She gushed before grabbing the flowers and started jumping up and down.
Pathetic. You thought, though you were really just trying to convince yourself that you weren't jealous and that it was pathetic, even though it was, kind of, cute.
You start to feel tears forming in your eyes so you turn around quickly, facing towards your locker so nobody would see your watery eyes.
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still a traitor
You rushed into the bathroom stall, locking yourself inside.
You slid to the ground, sobbing.
When you were trying to hide your tears in earlier by facing the locker, you couldn’t. The tears just kept on coming.
The bell rang so everyone started rushing to their classes, you rushed too, but instead of going to your class you headed straight to the bathrooms.
And here you were, sitting on the floor of the girls bathroom, sobbing. Wiping your eyes continuously, hoping that would stop the tears from flowing down.
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
Okay, okay, okay, I have a request and just to be clear I entirely blame that gif of Rick laying in bed for giving me ideas 👀
So, Reader is Maggie's sibling, and has had feelings for Rick for a while, which he's completely oblivious to. They stop by Rick's house in Alexandria early one morning and find him in bed (looking like that yum) and decides to act on it. Rick's about to get up but Reader gently pushes back onto the bed and climbs on top of him, Rick is completely got off guard but is /very/ into this especially when Reader starts getting naked-
Just as things start getting heated though Maggie arrives wondering what the hell is taking them so long, cue Reader and Rick frantically scrambling to act normal and get dressed-
Provoke (18+) || Rick Grimes
Who does not get interesting ideas with that GIF 👉🏼👈🏼💗
Yawning, you lean against the railing behind you and look up at your sister, "I hate the shift in the morning."
Maggie looks from the woods to you, "Everyone knows that, Sweetie. But everyone has to go through it."
Every time you have the morning shift at the gate, you could cry. You hate getting up when it's still pitch black outside, and it's even worse when it's cold as hell, too. The only good thing is that you have today's shift with your sister, so at least it turns out to be something to lift your good mood.
Sighing, you put your head back and grumble, "Who's next after us?"
You count the clouds above your head as Maggie leans the gun against the gate, "Sasha and Michonne."
Because you can't wait to be relieved, you look to Alexandria to watch for your rescue and hesitantly ask, "So what else is on the agenda today?"
You don't even finish the question before you hear Maggie laugh, "Are you asking me now because you don't feel like doing anything at all today, or because you want to know what Rick's up to today?"
Grinning, you look over your shoulder at her, "Both?"
She rolls her eyes and brushes her hair out of her face, "That was obvious, and you don't have to do anything after your shift today."
Now she leans over the railing, "As for Rick, you probably won't get to see him today. Glenn said Rick wants to go out with Daryl, so they won't be back until nightfall."
You bite your lower lip, "But he's still here now?"
Smiling, she shakes her head in disbelief, "I can't believe that you are into him. But yes he will probably still be there, but does it make a difference? You'd never tell him you have a crush on him anyway, even though you know full well he's probably already figured it out, the way you're always ghosting around him."
Where she's right, she's right.
You take every chance to be around him, and he'd really have to have fallen on his head a lot not to notice that you adore him, but you've never dared to say anything.
Actually, it's not that tragic either, except that you keep seeing that you're not the only one interested in your leader and every time he smiles at another, your heart breaks a little.
Your eyes wander over your home and miraculously, you see Michonne and Sasha walking towards you.
Before Maggie even understands what's happening, you're already downstairs yelling, "Let's get out of here. If you want, I'll help you in the garden later, but please let's get out of here."
Slower than you'd like, she comes down to you and looks at you sternly, "I'll take that as a promise, sis."
You grab her arm and couldn't be happier as you walk past Michonne and Sascha and say in a sing song, "Have fun."
Shaking her head, Maggie withdraws her hand from you, "We can probably harvest something later."
Instead of listening to her, you stare at the house you're slowly walking toward and mutter, "I'm going to see Rick for a minute."
Rooted to the spot, Maggie stops, "What?"
You bite your lower lip and turn to her, "I want to ask him if he can bring me some chocolate."
Playfully, you grin at her, "And then I might as well adore him again."
In fact, it gnaws at you that Maggie doesn't trust you to make the first move, and as you think about it, you don't know why you shouldn't just tell Rick. You can't actually make the situation you're in now any worse, and a very small part of you hopes that it's not just one-sided.
Skeptical, she starts moving again and stops for a moment in front of Rick's house, "I'm going to stop by Glenn's for a minute, then I'll come here and we can go out in the backyard. See you in a bit."
You can tell she's anything but convinced by your idea, and she doesn't even know what you really want to do.
The longer you stare at the steps in front of you, the worse the climb seems, but you don't always want to be ridiculed by Maggie and want to take a chance for once in his life. So you take a deep breath, adjust your top, and head inside.
As you close the door behind you, you notice how quiet it is in the house and wonder if Maggie made a mistake and Rick has already left with Daryl.
Crossing your arms, you call out to Rick but get no answer and you turn to the stairs upstairs.
Again you call his name and once at the top you hear his muffled and sleepy reply, "If it's important, just come in."
At first you hesitate, but to be honest, it IS important and you push open the door to the room where you suspect Rick is.
You just glance into the room and stand rooted to the spot.
Actually, you don't even know where to look and your mouth is hanging wide open, which looks anything but attractive and there's probably some drool running right along with it, but you just can't control yourself for a moment.
You never thought that you would see him THAT WAY once in your life. Sometimes you dreamed about it, but in reality it is completely different.
Lying half naked in his bed, he turns to you with a groan so he can rest his head on one arm and mumbles in a sleepy voice, "What's up?"
You close your mouth, only to open it again immediately after and stammer, "I…Uh…"
Like an idiot, you stand in the doorway and can't manage a complete sentence.
In your head you're still working on words you might be able to say when he starts to get up and you shriek almost hysterically, "No, wait."
Totally confused by your violent reaction, he remains half-sitting up in bed and a voice in the back of your head bellows, "Now or never. Now or never."
Hesitantly, you take a step toward him and croak, "Stay right there."
You can literally see the question mark on his face and can totally relate, but with your current vocabulary, maybe actions speak louder than words.
So you stop in front of his bed, praying that your hands aren't as sweaty as they usually are in stressful situations, as you place your small hands on his bare shoulders and push him backwards onto the bed.
In fact, you were expecting more resistance, but he complies surprisingly easily and just frowns, "What is this turning out to be?"
Actually, you're not quite sure yourself what it's going to turn out to be, but you just go with your intuition and sit astride Rick's hip.
Briefly, it flits through your mind that Maggie would never believe you and might not even need to know, before you reach for your top and pull it over your head.
In your bra and pants, you sit on it and look down at Rick.
He could throw you off with ease, but doesn't and instead places his hands loosely on your hips.
"Do I need to understand what's happening right now?" his voice is rough and you close your eyes briefly before looking back into his blue ones: "You like it?"
At your question, he snorts softly, "Do I like it that a woman just sits on me like that and takes her clothes off?"
Uncertainly, you bite your lower lip, "Do you like it that it's me?"
This seems to be the moment Rick understands what this is all about and grips your hip tighter, "This is about you having a crush on me, isn't it?"
You actually figured he knew, but hearing him say it out loud makes you blush again and you look down at his chest to keep from looking him in the eye, "I guess I won't have to say it then."
His hands, now sliding to your thighs, distract you and you barely notice him murmuring, "It was hard to miss."
Your whole body is tense as he slides his hands up again, this time not holding onto your hips.
You forget to breathe.
Light as a feather, his hands rest on the clasp of your bra and he gently pushes your torso down.
You were so determined to be brave, but somewhere between the moment you sat on him and his statement that he knows you have a crush on him, that bravery has gone down the drain and now you're sitting on him more insecurely than ever, not really even knowing what you want to do or what your goal is.
The only thing you are able to do is to support yourself with your hands on his chest to avoid crashing into him.
You finally look him in the face again and are aware of how close his face is to yours as he whispers, "What do you want?"
You can feel his breath on your lips and gather the last of your functioning brain cells and breathe, "You know it."
Tighter than before, he presses you down and your heart stops as he kisses you.
A half-naked Rick kisses you, and it's not a quick smooch. It's a kiss like you've always imagined.
Your hands run over his chest and your fingers graze the scar he received from the gunshot that put him in a coma.
For a long time the kiss remains gentle and almost innocent, but without thinking you shift on his hip and get a muffled moan in response, which he clearly wanted to suppress because he mumbles "Sorry" shortly after.
Hearing that sound from him only turns you on more and you begin to slowly move back and forth on his hips, "Again." That's all you can bring yourself to say, and Rick releases his lips from yours to reach your throat, growling hoarsely, "You sure?"
Groaning, you dig your fingers into his skin, "Yes, please."
Breathing heavily, he pushes you a little lower on his body and you feel his erection pressing against you.
The man has a lot to offer and you are about to ask him to finally take off your bra, when you hear your sister calling for you.
Panicked, you tear yourself away from Rick and you can see his amusement in his eyes, "Your sister."
Hectically, you scramble off of him and hiss, "I know, Mister Obvious."
The faster you try to put your clothes back on, the longer it takes you and just as you're pulling your shirt over your head, you hear Maggie on the stairs, "You're taking forever."
You grab some shirt that's on the dresser and toss it to Rick, "Get dressed."
He looks like he can barely hold back the loud laugh, "Why? You came into the room earlier too when I was barely wearing anything."
Begging, I look at him and he hums softly, "All right."
Rather reluctantly he stands up and pulls his shirt over his head making the boxers look a little better and just in time as Maggie strides through the door, "What's taking so long?"
I hope she doesn't notice as I explain in a high pitched voice, "I was just telling Rick what to bring me."
Apparently he does want to come to my rescue, "Right, she asked for…"
He doesn't know what to say because I never told him, so he gestures with his hands, "Well, that thing. You know."
Your mind goes completely blank and it's only when Rick looks at you for help that you call out way too loudly, "Chocolate."
His eyes light up, "Yeah right and I'll bring it to you when I find some."
You mumble quietly, "Thanks," and look at your sister, who frowns at your behavior, but doesn't dwell on it and points with her head toward the stairs, "Come on. You said you were going to help me in the garden."
I nod and want to follow her out of the bedroom, when Rick holds me back by the arm for a moment and whispers softly in my ear, "When I get back tonight, I'll climb through your window. Stay awake, please."
@hail-yourselves @bean-is-reading @chanlvr2 @criminalwalkingsupernatural @sunshinevirus @toxic-ink @kingtwhiddleston
Don’t Call Me Selfish, I Hate Sharin'
Attack on Titan
Pairing: Yandere!ex!Eren x naive!female!reader
Genre: Angst & Smut
Synopsis: Did you really think you could slip out of Eren's grip so easily?
Word Count: 1K
CONTAINS DARK THEMES!
PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
A/N: first fic on this blog!! This fic is inspired by the song “New Magic Wand” by Tyler, The Creator. I hope you enjoy :)
Warning(s): Face slapping, spanking, toxic!eren, toxic relationship, dacryphilia kink, degradation, name calling, mentions of cheating, tummy bulge, safe word being ignored
THIS FIC CONTAINS NON CON! ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Shut it, slut.”
“We’re not even together. You can’t just take me away like this!”
Eren scoffed, pulling you with him to his car. “Oh really, who’s gonna stop me, huh? Your precious, little Jean?”
“Eren don’t be ridiculous, just stop! They’re waiting for us.” You planted your heels and tried to pull away but his grip was too tight.
“I don’t fucking care. I’m not letting you go back in there.”
“Please, just let me go! I’m tired of dealing with your shit all the time.”
Without warning, Eren turned around and slapped you hard. “You sat on Jean’s lap for what, 5 minutes and think you’re so tough now? Don’t you dare fucking talk to me in that way ever again.” You held your burning cheek and kept your eyes on the ground. Just like that, he was able to get you back under his control.
People often wondered how you two ended up dating. Eren, the jackass, and you, the sweetheart. It actually wasn’t complicated at all. Eren had always noticed you because of sweet nature and gathered the courage to ask you to the school dance in your senior year of high school. In the beginning, he was a wonderful boyfriend. He was changing, becoming more kind and considerate like you. That is, until you get into college.
It wasn’t exactly Eren’s fault that he was brainwashed by a bunch of jocks who were encouraging toxic masculinity. Some of his jock friends told him that he didn’t need your permission for anything. You’re his girl, he owns you, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you. That night, he dragged you into his dorm and fucked you hard, even though you told him you didn’t want to have sex because you had a lot of homework to do.
It all started on that night. For the first time, you used the safe word and to your shock, he ignored you. In fact, he began fucking you harder. You vividly remember trying to push him off of you, but with most of his body weight holding you down, it was next to impossible. The rest of the night, you were faced down on his pillow, soaking it up with tears. The next morning, while he snoozed, you exited quietly and avoided him the whole day. He’d finally got a hold of you in the library and asked why you'd been ignoring him. You were in disbelief and began tearing up in front of him. “How could you ask me that so calmly after what you did to me yesterday.”
“You were prioritising something else over me. I needed to show you that I should be your number one priority. Just like how you’re my number one priority.” It only took a couple days for you to forgive him but things still weren’t normal. Eren’s anger issues kept getting worse and worse by the day. The worst part of all, he’d take it out on you. He’d either lash out on you, make you cry then apologize an hour later with “makeup sex.”It was a cycle, and dear god, it was exhausting. Coming back to your dorm after a long day of class only to see Eren on your bed, ready to have sex. If you refuse, he’d argue. If you didn’t moan loud enough, he’d argue. If you fell asleep right after instead of giving him attention, he’d argue. There was no winning against this man. The last fight that you guys had was probably the worst.
He’d accused you of sleeping around with the football team even though he’d be fucking you every night. You, for the first time stood up for yourself. The night ended with both of you screaming at each other then parting ways. You did cry that night. Feeling overwhelmed with school plus the accusation of cheating when he knows god damn well you wouldn’t do anything like that gave you a terrible migraine.
All of that happened exactly two weeks ago.
Eren couldn’t last 2 weeks without you. You weren’t someone he could just replace. Though he would never it say it outloud, he can’t fucking live without you. You’ve adjusted to his life so perfectly, having his only joy taken drove him mad. The cherry on top was when he walked in on you and Jean, lips almost touching. Eren felt his world crumble apart.
So, here you guys are. In the back of Eren’s car, windows fogging up and you’re sobbing into his neck once again. He has your wrist pinned above your head while he continues ramming himself inside of you. The loud, wet claps and your sobbing weren’t soothing in the slightest. “Are you ever gonna leave me again?” You turned your head away from him but he grabbed your jaw and forced you to look into his emerald green eyes. “Answer my fucking question.”
“E- Eren please stop! P-please!”
You should know this by now. Eren Jaeger is a very impatient man who doesn’t like to repeat himself. He flipped you on all fours, and slipped back in. “I’m giving you one more chance to answer me.” He slightly picked up your hips, the position allowing him to penetrate deeper than before. You felt his cock kiss your cervix and that’s when your arms gave out and your upper body fell on the seat. “E-eren! You’re hurting me. Pull out, please.”
“You hurt me too! You left me, you fucking cunt! It’s all your fucking fault.”
“But I- I didn’t - ahh!” Another struggled moan left your lips as he landed a spank on your ass and pulled your hair until your back was against his chest. He placed his hand on your stomach, feeling his bulge move inside of you. “You’re the reason why I’m miserable. So, it’s only fair if you suffer with me. You deserve this, angel.”
“Eren, w-were not good for each. P-please, we keep hurting each other.” That earned you another slap on the face. “I’d rather fucking die then see you happy with someone else.”
sucks ass but it's 4:30am so I'm gonna go to sleep. I'll be doing the headcanon requests later today, I suppose. Thank you for requesting!
I Bite My Tongue It's a Bad Habit - Steddie + Male!Reader
Male!Reader, he/him, trying angst for the first time, this is for a special friend @eddieverse because they helped give me such a lovely little idea for suffering, enjoy this bestie, btw I don't care if this is all time accurate or not cause this was just made to make people cry, and it seems I have succeeded
CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!
You Are the Bane of My Existence, and the Object of All My Attractions (Happy Ending)
I Bite My Tongue, It's a Bad Habit (Sad Ending)
Tags: @qthetherapist, @eddieverse, @alexs-playground, @rlmt1
I picked up my guitar and slowly began to pluck the chords to a song I had grown familiar with, humming the lyrics at first before fully singing along.
“I wish I knew, I wish I knew you wanted me. I wish I knew, I wish I knew you wanted me. What you, oooh, uh, what you do?” Images of the two of them hugging and kissing flooded my mind, why did he have to get Eddie, why couldn’t it have been me that got him? What did I do wrong to push him away? We’ve been friends for years, I’ve stuck by his side since 4th grade, I did everything right, so why didn’t he choose me?
“Is it too late to pursue? I bite my tongue it’s a bad habit, kinda mad that I didn’t take a stab at it.” It was almost pitiful how sad I was over this, they’d been together for a couple weeks and having to see it every day was only making me feel worse. Why couldn’t I be the one that gets to kiss him, hold him, run my hands through his hair, comfort him when he’s sad, be his anything.
“Never gave me the time of day, my dear. It’s okay, things happen for reasons that I think are sure, yeah.” I tried to ask him out a few times, he always said thank you for having a friends day out, hearing him call us friends hurt more than I thought it would. Especially now when I ask him on one and he says he can’t, he’s got a date with him.
“I wish I knew, I wish I knew you wanted me.” I had committed so much time to him that I figured he would at least still care about me. In the last couple weeks he had slowly stopped hanging out with me bit by bit, stopped caring about if I showed up to school, stopped noticing me. I just wish he still cared about me even a little bit, or showed it at all.
“Say to me, please just say to me, if this could wind up. I wish you wouldn’t play with me, I wanna know, oh no.” God it hurt, tears were dripping onto my knees while I kept playing, voice beginning shake when I sang. I just wanted it to be me, I wanted so bad to be the one Eddie loved.
“Can I bite your tongue like my bad habit? Would you mind if I tried to make a pass at it?” I wanna be able to take a pass at him, kiss him, feel what it feels like to be Steve Fucking Harrington. The fuck boy of Hawkins high gets the Freak, why couldn’t the best friend of the freak get him?
“It’s okay, things happen for reasons that I can’t ignore, yeah.” I stopped strumming the guitar and just sang through sobs, my hands couldn’t stay still long enough to hold any notes. I just began to mumble the rest of the song to myself, sitting in my room, all lights but a nightstand lamp off, crying on the edge of my bed.
“You can’t surprise a Gemini, I’m everywhere, I’m cross-eyed, and now that you’re back, I can’t decide if I decide if you’re invited.” Fuck finishing the song, I just needed to leave, leave this fucking town, leave them to be who they want to be without me. I couldn’t even think of what I was doing anymore, barely saw what I grabbed, just throwing whatever clothes I could into a random bag. I snatched the car keys off my dresser, grabbing the bag and almost running down the stairs. The front door was already unlocked, guess I forgot to lock it when I got home earlier, it didn’t matter now. Rain poured down outside, I just sprinted through it to my car in the driveway, hopping in the drivers seat and tossing whatever bag I grabbed into the back seat. I’m sure I grabbed my wallet so I had at least 60 bucks to do whatever I wanted. Pulling out of the driveway I floored the gas pedal, getting out of this fucking town was the only thing I needed to do, and as I passed the leaving Hawkins sign I heard the familiar tune ringing in the back of my mind. I wish I knew, I wish I knew you wanted me…..
Tom Grant making you laugh after and awful day at work ❤️
ugh tommy yes my baby i had a shitty day today too so this is therapeutic for me lol
You sighed as you stepped into the trailer, setting your bag down heavily on the counter. The day had been a lot— not much had happened, but a night of bad sleep and a persistent bad mood had dampened the day and made every inconvenience all the much worse— and you wanted nothing more than to settle yourself in bed and ignore the world for the rest of the night.
Thankfully, though, your boyfriend had other ideas.
"Baby," Tom started when he got home, seeing your foul mood immediately; he was good at that sort of thing, sensing emotions and moods. "What's the pout all about?"
"I'm not pouting," you told him, fiddling with the blanket across your lap as you watched television. You couldn't look at him, knowing that, if you did, you would start to cry from your shitty day, and you clenched your back teeth as Tom leaned down and kissed your head.
"Looks like you're pouting," Tom said softly, his lips against your head. "Move over, let me get here."
You sighed and scooted over to allow Tom to sit right up next to you, and his arms went around you as he kissed your head once more. "What's wrong?" Tom whispered. "You've got a sad face."
"I don't have any face, Tommy," you told him firmly. "This is just my face. I'm just watching telly."
"No, no, you've got a face," Tom said, his eyes sweeping your cozy frame, all bundled in one of his shirts with the blanket over your legs. In an instant, he had scooped you up into his arms and settled you in his lap, and he popped a quick kiss on your cheek. "Tell me what's wrong. Please?"
You looked at Tom to find him looking at you with his dark eyes wide, his eyebrows furrowed, his lip pouted dramatically. His begging face was usually able to get you to confess whatever he wanted you to, and something stirred in your chest at the sight of it today. Your lip wobbled, and Tom started to speak before you whimpered and let your tears fall. "Today just sucked," you gasped as you cried, and Tom frowned as he held you closely. "Can you just hold me?"
"Of course, baby," Tom told you, and his arms tightened around you for a quick squeeze. "What happened?"
"Nothing really," you started. "I just slept like shit and I've felt like shit all day, and-and today was such shit."
"I'm sorry," Tom mumbled. "Do you wanna go to bed early tonight, maybe? Try to get some good sleep?"
"Yeah," you sniffled. "Can you make dinner tonight too? I-I mean, I can do it, but—"
"Of course I can," Tom said. "Are you hungry now? Maybe you're hungry and that's part of the problem?"
"Sure," you sighed, and you went to wipe away your tears, but Tom was quicker than you, smoothing away your tears on your cheeks with his thumbs. "You can start dinner now, if you want. B-But if it's gonna be too much, you just got home—"
"It's not an issue," Tom told you. "I'm hungry too."
When he stood up, he seemed to get an idea in his mind, because he hastily grabbed his phone from his shorts pocket and started to search for something specific on it. After a moment, some tinny music started to play from his phone, and Tom turned to you and started to move his hips and shoulders in time with the music. That goofy smile of his spread across his plush pink lips, and his hips began to gyrate as he pointed at you. "Can I see a smile?" he asked over the music, and you bit your bottom lip as Tom began to mimic the guitar in the song, strumming his hand along his stomach as he scrunched up his nose.
"Tommy—" you started, but he shook his head.
"Nuh-uh, baby," he said. "I'm not gonna stop until you smile. Even a fake one, just a smile, babe. Please?"
As Tom continued to dance around like a goof, you couldn't help but smile at him. Your boyfriend always knew what to do to make you grin, and you giggled as Tom held his hand out to you, inviting you to dance with him. You stood up and threw your arms around his firm middle, and his arms enveloped you as you two slowly swayed to the music. "Thank you," you whispered into his chest, and Tom rubbed his hand along your back as he pressed a hard kiss to your head.
"You're welcome, baby."
before there was a before (steddie x f!reader)
fluff and smut, plenty of plot but pretty porny. long af, but when am i to be short winded?
warnings: 18+ minors dni, some pretty violent violence at the beginning (bordering actual abuse), eddie to the rescue, some very sweet steve, casual dominance, daddy kink, swearing, p in v sex (unprotected), mocking language, some almost fighting, crying, oral (m receiving), mmf threesome
really want to reiterate that steve isn't just 'daddy' mean at the beginning, he's actually mean. reader beware.
Midwinter, Early 1991
"And now she's lookin' for a downtown man, that's what I am..." Eddie's hand falls on your thigh, his voice falling in harmony with Billy's while the song crackles through the speakers. He always put your mix on when you were in the car together, especially when you were like this.
You weren't sure where you were going, but he helped you pack a suitcase this morning for about a week long trip. He almost felt lucky that this blow out with Steve happened before your vacation so he could care for you properly.
Tears were pouring out of you while you looked out the window, remembering Steve's face while you left -- trying to hold back his own tears when Eddie looked back at him.
'You're gonna bring her back, right? It's just a week?' he asked weakly, turning to you, "You don't have to leave, baby. You don't have to do this to me. You know I'm sorry."
'I'll keep you posted, Steve,' Eddie's voice was cool and uncaring, shutting the door behind him. Steve looked out the window while you pulled away and he waved, you tried not to, but you waved back anyway. That's what had you crying now -- his broken face, like a little boy whose parents forgot to pick him up from school. But Eddie wanted you to remember Steve's face from last night, the whole reason he was taking you away.
"I d-didn't do anything wr-wrong, you j-just had a bad day at w-work," you'd cried out on your knees in the bedroom, his frame towering over you with your chin in his fingers.
"What're you talking back for?" he growled, the Maker's on his breath was distinct.
"I'm n-not talking back, Stevie. I don't know wh-why you're so upset with m-me," you tried to explain. He'd come home in a bad mood, obviously having stopped at the bar on the way to forget his sorrows in a bottle of bourbon. He made up in his head that you were out all day slacking off, 'probably flirting with the boys at the grocery store, like a fucking slut' and 'out spending all his fuckin' money,' -- all because there were dishes in the sink that he had asked you to do this morning. The thing is, you had done the dishes this morning. The house was immaculate because you didn't want to worry about it being messy during your staycation this week. The boys had promised to clean up after themselves.
Eddie had a later shift, so when you were out running errands he was making a cake for his co-worker for her birthday. You called him to complain about him leaving a mess in the kitchen and he begged you not to clean it up -- he'd do it when he got home. He apologized profusely over it.
"I did the dishes," you cried, your thighs and backside stinging from where he wailed on you in the kitchen with his belt, "I already t-told you they were Eddie's. He asked n-not to do them."
"And you're a fucking liar," he hissed.
"I'm not lying, Steve," you cry while he presses up on your chin, implying he wants you to stand -- you do slowly and gingerly. As you get to your height, he grips your jaw hard again and pulls you close to him. His eyes are menacing, challenging you.
"If you keep calling me Steve in my house, it's gonna get worse for you," his voice held nothing in it outside of superiority, "You want it to get worse for you?"
You shook your head no, not meeting his gaze. Too afraid to set him off.
"Bend over the bed," his demand made your knees buckle, a fresh crop of tears pouring from your eyes.
"Please don't, Stevie," you whimpered, your skin buzzing and welted from his belt and his hands from earlier. You shook while he maneuvered you, lifting your dress back up over your hips -- your underwear previously discarded on the kitchen floor.
"This is what you deserve," Steve's eyes were dark, "You earned this."
"Say it, baby," he ordered.
Your hung your head while hearing the clink of his belt getting wrapped around his hand again, your body shuddering with sobs, "I earned th-this."
The next blows made you scream, desperately trying to shimmy away from him. He hooked his arm around your waist roughly to keep you in place, his nails dragging hard and furiously over your beaten skin. A high pitched, pained whine erupted from your throat while he stood back up, rearing his arm back.
"No, please, please don't do it again," you cried, giving into his accusations, "I'll go do the dishes, please, let me go. I'm sorry I lied daddy, I'll be good -- just please stop."
Another hard blow from the belt seared across your ass, and another. Your blubbering booming through the room, into the hallway, and down the stairs.
"So you are a fuckin' liar?" Steve challenged.
You could hear Eddie bounding up the stairs at the sound of your voice, barreling through the bedroom door frame with a heated expression, "Woah, woah woah, what the fuck is going on in here? She told you to stop."
He pulled you out of the line of Steve's next whip of the belt before Steve could react, holding you tightly to his chest while he adjusted your dress back to its proper place. He rubbed soothing circles on your back with his warm, ringed hand while you collapsed into him.
"What's it for this time, Steve?" Ed asked, exasperated, "What could she have possibly done this time?"
"She's lying to me about what she did today," he said, crossing his arms, guilt settling in at the sight of your beaten skin, "I asked her to do the dishes this morning, and she did everything but that. Then she tried to say it was you. You'd be pissed too."
Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out of his nose, "It was me."
"She did the dishes this morning before she left to run errands, I made a cake for Sarah for her birthday -- I told her I'd clean them up when I got home," he said, "Why didn't you just believe her? You could've called the store and asked me."
"You're just covering for her like you always do," Steve said defiantly, standing up off the bed.
"You're refusing to be wrong, because now you feel bad," Eddie said, you could feel him start to vibrate, anger setting up in his chest, "You do this every, single, time, you let your bullshit get the better of you."
"It's not worth it," you said, looking up at Eddie and only seeing his chin. You tap his chest and he looks down at you, eyes sad at your tear streaked face, "It's not worth getting mad over, Ed."
"It is worth getting mad over, baby. He's just fucking beating you at this point," he almost yelled, "You can't just let him think that's okay."
"It's not worth it," you hiccup, "I d-don't want to do this any-anymore."
They both get quiet, listening to your shuddering breaths as you pull out of Eddie's hold and go grab some pajamas from your dresser. Steve doesn't look at you while you walk by him.
"Honey, let me take care of you," Eddie pleads, "Let's go relax in the other room, I'll make it better." He watches you shuffle and cry out into the hallway. You sulked into the guest room turned mancave next door, slamming the door behind you.
"You went to the bar again?" Ed asked, "You fuckin' reek of bourbon."
"What do you care?" Steve asked, defensively. Ed stood up close to him, chest puffed, glaring at him down the slope of his nose.
"I care --" he begins, giving him a tight shove in the chest, "Because every time you get drunk, you start acting like your fuckin' dad."
Steve's jaw clenches, but he doesn't retort. His brain was fuzzy and fuming, but he was lucid enough to know that whatever came out of his mouth next would sting -- and he wasn't in the head space to beat Eddie in a fist fight. (He's never won anyway.)
"Steve..." Eddie starts again, "She's gonna leave."
"She's not gonna leave, Ed," Steve huffs, "Where is she even gonna go? Back to her parents? She's living here rent fucking free, whose gonna take care of her like me, hm?"
"Like you? Psht, you really are so far gone, dude," Ed's brows knitted, staring down at him, "When're you gonna get your shit together? Why do I have to keep telling you to get your shit together? Why do I have to keep saving her from you? No one's taking care of her like you because you don't take care of her."
"I have my shit together, Munson," Steve cracked his neck, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."
"Aw you gonna hit me, Harrington?" he mocked with a grin, seeing Steve's hand twitch while his neck cracked, "Go for it, make my fuckin' day."
The boys stared each other down for a minute before Steve pushed past Eddie and went down the stairs, the door to the back yard slamming behind him. Eddie sighed, talking to Steve was like talking to a wall.
While he soothed you that night -- coming in and treating your battered thighs, rubbing your back and legs, covering you in kisses -- he thought about what he could do to make this a little better.
"I'm gonna take you somewhere this week," he mumbled between pecks to your lips, "I'll pack a bag for you tomorrow, and we can get out of here. You wanna do that?"
You considered it for a minute, "What about the store?"
"What about it?" he asked, "It's my store, I have employees. They can run it without me for a few days. Let's get outta dodge for a little, let Steve have some time alone."
Back in the van, Eddie frowned at your crying, letting his hand run over the top of your thigh, "It's okay, baby. I know he made you feel like you're doing this to punish him, but you just need a break. That's okay. No one's mad at you."
His voice felt like a hot bath on sore muscles, coaxing you to relax. Eddie knew he'd spend the first day trying to get your mind off Steve's desperate morning pleas to make you stay. Him waking up and making breakfast, spilling apologies over you while pouring your coffee. Trying to give you a kiss before you left, but Eddie wrapped an arm around you before he could.
"And when she knows what she wants from her ti-i-ime. And when she wakes up, and makes up her mi-i-ind," Eddie's voice continued to sing along.
You thought about the first time you heard Eddie sing it, sitting on his lap in the back seat of Steve's car when, things had just gotten interesting between the three of you. It was new and exciting, a secret you all liked keeping.
"She'll see I'm not so tough, just because, I'm in love--"
Early October, 1989
"--With an uptown girl! You know I've seen her in her uptown world. She's getting tired of her high-class toys, and all her presents from her uptown boys. She's got a choice--"
You were all piled in the BMW singing along badly, most of the kids were home for the long holiday weekend. Steve and Eddie and the girls wanted to do something fun and fall with them before they went back to school until November. So, apple picking it was -- even if it was a little too late in the season.
Steve would peer back at you in the rearview mirror and shoot you a smile just so you'd blush back at him. Robin in shotgun (always), Nancy planted firmly on her lap (despite her distress calls that all of this was dangeorus and they should just take the mini-van), and the boys plus Max piled on top of eachother next to you and Eddie.
"You sound good," you encouraged, turning to face him, your faces a little too close, "You a singer or something?"
He rolled his eyes, his voice drenched in sarcasm, "Oh, no, never sang before in my life."
"I don't know," you smiled playfully, "You're really good. You should like, start a band one day. Know anyone who plays music?"
"Can't think of anyone actually," he confessed, his eyes wide and over the top, "None of my friends play instruments -- I don't even know how to hold a guitar."
He watched you laugh and ached to touch you more, to hold you close to him. To put his hands on your thighs the way he knew you liked it. Ever since Eddie had gotten a taste of you, he selfishly only wanted more of it -- all of it, all of you.
'Uptown girl! You know I can't afford to buy her pearls, but maybe someday when my ship comes in. She'll understand what kind of guy I've been, and then I'll win.'
He confessed he was a little nervous he wouldn't be able to get enough at peak ripeness for the pies he wanted to make. He'd made keylime pies this past summer for the ladies at the women's shelter across from his record store and they were such a hit that he wanted to do apple and pumpkin pies for the fall.
You assured him ten times over that there would be enough apples for him to make pies. You promised you'd climb to the top of any tree if it meant getting all the apples he needed.
You regretted that promise after getting to the orchard.
"C'mon babe, you can do it," Eddie said, a couple of thick branches above you, holding out his hand while the other held tightly to the trunk of the tree.
"Ed, I -- I can't," you said, peering down at the ground, frozen in place. Steve laughed a little from back on the ground, cheering you on from the roots, "I'm too scared."
"Baby you got it, you just have to grab his hand. He's got you," he called up, "And if you fall, I got you. Either way, you're safe."
Eddie winced when Steve said 'if you fall', knowing that it would inadvertently put even more doubt in your mind. You looked at your beat up sneakers balancing on the bark.
"Why don't you climb up here, Harrington?" you called down, "Why does it have to be me?"
"You did promise," Eddie reminded softly, his hand still out while you met his gaze, beckoning you forward, "C'mon, come to daddy."
He grinned when you blushed hard, knowing that those couple of words would make your stomach flip and turn a switch in you. Suddenly overcome with a need to please him, you grab his hand, getting pulled up while your feet reached for the next branch for support -- hoisting your self up to meet Eddie, face to face with a cluster of gleaming red apples.
"Okay, hold open the bag for me, please?" he asked. You unhooked the half full bag from your shoulder and watched as he balanced close to the end of the branch, it creaking in response to the weight of him and his boots.
"Be careful, Ed," you warned, but he turned and tossed you a wink. Something he'd do every time you told him to be careful in the future.
He plopped the apples one by one into the bag, until all five had been shorn from their home. He took the handles from you and slung them over his own shoulder, knowing that the increase in weight was making you feel unbalanced. Your face really told him all he needed to know.
"Thank you for being so brave, baby," he murmurs while pressing a kiss to your lips, hidden behind the leaves. God forbid Nancy or Robin or the gang show up and see it. He left you breathless while he scrambled down the tree like a cat, his boots crunching on the leaves while he landed with a thud.
"Um!" you look down and seeing their feet at the base of the tree, "Guys I -- I don't know if I can get down."
Steve took a step forward, ducking under a branch to look up at you with his arms crossed. His green sweatshirt hugged his broad shoulders, forearms still slightly tanned from the summer. His watch glinted in the sunlight pooling in from the leaves, shimmering on the ground below.
"You okay, honey?" he asked, frowning at your reddened face, "Want me to come up there and help you?"
You shook your head no -- but wanted to say yes. You could do this, you made it all the way up here. You could find your way down.
"You're okay," he cooed, a hand coming up to the lowest branch, "I know you can do it. I'm right here, I got you!"
"Is she stuck?" you heard Dustin's voice before you saw his shoes approach Eddie's, then Robin's sneakers, then Nancy's, then the gang's. You huffed with embarrassment -- you were a grown woman damn it! You could climb down a tree! How hard could it be?
You trembled while you slowly turned around, treating the uneven branches like a make shift ladder -- opposite hand and leg working slowly as you made your way closer to the ground. Soon seeing the groups feet, then their legs, then their chests before Steve's strong arms wrapped around your middle and pulled you from the last couple of branches.
"Told you, I got you," he said in your ear, putting your feet on the ground, "What were you so nervous for? You climbed down that tree no problem."
"Maybe I just needed some of your encouragement," you flirted with a smile. Steve blushed, pulling you in by the back of the neck to give you a deep, slow kiss. The kind that made the kids still get a little squicked out.
"Alright, get a room Harrington, gross," Robin muttered, tossing a hand at the both of you while the group moved on to more trees. You stood breathless with Steve, staring at eachother while the cool air tinged both of your cheeks pink.
"So proud of you, angel," he flashed you a knowing smile while tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. The praise warmed you up quickly from your core to your finger tips. His fingers laced with yours while you strolled through the orchard. Robin, Nancy, and Max exchanged honey sticks in different flavors. Mike, Eddie, Lucas, and Dustin were chasing each other through the trees, chucking mushy rotten apples at each other that had fallen too soon.
"We're gonna walk down to the farm," Steve called out to the group, some strangers even turned to listen with how commanding his voice was.
"Who am I getting cider for?" he asked a little more quietly, everyone raising their hand, the boys making a big show of who wanted the first cup.
"Definitely not you, Wheeler," Steve muttered, while counting out how many cups he'd need to order. Mike, who'd grown tall and gangly, now in his late teens, still tossed him a face like he was twelve in his basement.
"We'll meet you down there," Nancy called over.
You walked together hand in hand, basking in the sun on your face -- the kind of sunshine where it was only hot if you stood directly in the rays but the shade was chilly. It wasn't cold enough for your breath to smoke around you, but the little chill in the wind let you know it wasn't far away.
"You cold?" Steve asked, "I can go get my jacket out of the car."
"That's what? A three mile walk away, Steve?" you laughed, "I'll be okay."
"I can run, I'm like -- super fast," he said, always talking with his hands in some way or another.
"It's okay, the cider's hot, it'll warm me up," you squeezed his hand.
"I can warm you up when we get home," he said under his breath. You hold back an eye roll -- with everyone out of ear shot it left a lot of leeway for Steve to act on some new things you'd been trying out. Some rules here and there, some mild punishment (if you could even call it that, it felt so good) -- but you weren't about to press his buttons on a nice day like today.
He let go of your hand to pull you in at the waist, walking with his arm around you. With anyone else the position would be awkward over such uneven ground, but Steve had such a way of making everything smooth. He loved being close to you, feeling your body heat, smelling the perfume he bought you ghosting off your skin.
"Is that better?" he asked, "A little warmer?"
You nod up at him, "Much better."
He keeps himself around you while you approach the large cabin in the farm, a grocery store of sorts. The sounds of children giggling and the petting zoo animals disappearing while the doors close behind you. The rush of warm air from the heating is welcome on your skin and you try to get out of Steve's hold to inspect a shelf of pumpkin flavored fudge nearby.
"Hey, hey, where you goin'?" he asked, snaking you back in by the belt loop, "We're here on a mission."
You huff a little while he pulls you in and you can feel his stare linger on you for a beat longer than normal. A shiver runs through you while he does it, but you don't meet his eyes. He opts to keep a hand on the small of your back while you both weave through patrons of the store, getting to the back wall where a counter was set up for walk away treats.
"Hi there, how are you?" Steve asked while approaching the counter, always so charming.
"I'm great, thanks for asking," replies the old woman, her apron tight around her. Her soft gray hair tied in a braid down her back, "What can I get you folks today?"
"I need nine cups of cider, if that's possible," he asked, already fishing for his wallet in his back pocket, "And um, a dozen of the cinnamon sugar donuts."
"Comin' right up," she beamed, disappearing into the kitchen.
You both waited, leaning against the counter. You could feel Steve staring again, his hand coming to cup your cheek so you'd face him.
"Hi, Stevie," you smile.
"Hi," he says back, "You look so pretty, today."
"Just today?" you laugh and he melts, his thumb sliding over your cheek bone, now pink from the praise.
"You're pretty every day," he confesses, "But there's something about you right now -- just extra pretty." He shrugs and you take his hand from your face, pressing a soft pillowy kiss to his palm. Steve's heart races, always a sucker for your soft touches. He's never gotten over how gentle you can be with him, the way your fingers lace through his hair, when you trace the veins on his hands. When you kiss him slow on the cheek when he's had a bad day.
The cider and donuts arrive and you check out. Steve, always observant and never one to deny you of anything, made sure to toss a small pack of the pumpkin fudge you were eyeing on the conveyor belt.
"Give me," he says, while you pick up the cardboard cup holders filled with lidless styrofoam cups. Steam floated up to your face, soothing you as Steve held open the door to the outside -- the wind was a little colder now.
"Give it to me, it's too hot," he demands. You frown and exchange the cider for the bag of donuts, walking over to the picnic tables a small distance away from the farm. The group had comandeered one, everyone with their bags of apples, cheering when you arrived with the goods. Steve sat at the empty spot across from Eddie while you went around serving everyone -- a barrage of 'thank you's' and 'your welcomes' exchanged throughout. When you got to the final cup of cider, your own, you looked around and realized there was no space for you. You stood there, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place, even though you knew all of these people -- they had become your friends too over the last ten months.
"Hey," Steve called over to you, patting his thigh, "This seat's all yours."
You do roll your eyes this time while you make your way over, discretely skating your fingers over Eddie's back while you walk around him to get to Steve's lap. He struggles to hide his giddiness at the attention, even as you slide onto Steve's thigh.
"Did you have a good day?" he asks, resting his head on your shoulder. You nod, putting your cider down and fishing the fudge out of the bag, covered in sugar from the donuts. You undo the plastic wrapping neatly, laying it out between you and Eddie, pulling a piece off after cutting it with the small plastic knife taped to the bottom.
Just as before, your face tells Eddie exactly what you need to know.
"You don't like it?" he asks with a giggle. Your face scrunches and you shake your head no.
"Oh, no, babe I'm sorry," Steve apologizes as if he made the suggestion to buy it, "Do you want me to go get you a different flavor?"
"No, no, it's okay," you say, sipping your cider to take the taste of your mouth, "Sorry for wasting it."
"Stop, I'll eat it," Eddie assured, shoving a piece in his mouth before wrapping it up and putting the remainder in his deep leather jacket pocket.
The ride home was much quieter, everyone a little tired out from running around all day. The BMW seemed to move slower with the weight of everyone's apples filling up the trunk. Most of the back seat crew was nodding off, Robin, Nancy, and Steve engrossed in a lively discussion about why Married to the Mob is a cinematic masterpiece. Eddie took this chance to snake his arm around your middle and pull you close enough that his nose was in your hair. He leaned his forehead on your shoulder, his hand warm and protective on your opposite hip -- your personal seatbelt.
By the time you got back home you were all exhausted, dragging yourselves out of the car -- the walk from the driveway to the front door feeling longer than usual. You took turns taking showers and mulling about the house, organizing the apples in the fridge -- Eddie starting on pie crusts.
Later in the night, you and Steve retreated off to the bedroom while Eddie went to his to read. He tried to ignore your whines and whimpers sneaking in from the cracks in the door, but after a little it got more difficult to not hear you.
"Oh, shit," Eddie could hear Steve's ragged breaths and moans through the wall.
"So good, baby, that's a good girl," Steve cooed, Eddie caught your gagging and sputtering. He groaned, closing his book, palming himself over his sweats. Just imagining you with your back arched on your knees on the bed, mouth full, your eyes like saucers while you look up for Steve's praise. He reached into his pants, letting his fingers graze gently over his length before gripping it at the base, pumping slowly. Thinking back to your last triste in Steve's room, your mouth wrapped around his cock while Steve's teased you with his fingers. Watching you moan while he called you his pretty baby, his sweet little whore.
"You wanna ask him?" he heard Steve ask.
"Yes, daddy," your voice had raised a few octaves. Eddie's breath hitched at your obedience, his strokes getting faster while his tip weeped into his boxers.
You knocked on his door, slick and aching between your legs, "Eddie?" you called out.
"Yes, angel?" he asked, snaking his hand out of his pants and opening the door, leaning against the door frame. He tutted at your face, needy and pathetic, a little bit of drool still wet on your chin.
"Can I help you with something?" he asked with a smirk, crossing his heavily inked arms over his chest.
"Will you come play with us?" you asked meekly, self concious over how naked you were in the hallway -- even with no one else in the house.
"What do you say when you ask for something?" Steve called sternly from the bedroom.
"Please?" you quickly added, your eyes rounding, ready to please.
"Well when you ask like that..." he says, tilting his head to the side, uncrossing his arms to run a finger down your face.
"C'mon," he says, offering his hand to you and you speedily take it while he guides you the five steps it takes to get to Steve's room. Steve is sitting against the headboard, as naked as you are, cock hard and angry in his hand lazily stroking himself in your absense.
You let go of Eddie's hand to climb back on the bed, marveling at him while he sheds his bottom layers, left only in the chain around his neck. He watches you kneel at the edge of the mattress, your hands outstretch for him, but he bypasses them to pull you in by the back of the neck and cheek. His kiss is hungry and aching, bursting with the heat of all the kisses he wanted to give you today. You return his intensity, snaking your tongue in his mouth -- gasping as your lips part only to meet again. Your hand sneaks down to his cock, hard and begging for you, you slide it through your hands and savoring the silky softness of the skin.
"Mmmf, please," he begs into your neck, teeth grazing over your jugular making you jump. Steve quickens his pace on his shaft, face getting hot at sight of both of you, honing in on both of your quickened breaths and moans.
Your thumb slides over the tip and he groans, his teeth marking your shoulder. He needed this, needed you to touch him, to make him feel good like this. His hands wandered, grasping at you, leaving indents on your more fleshy parts. You missed the feeling of his cold rings, he must've taken them off when he showered.
"Show daddy what you're doing, princess," Steve said softly, "Show me what's got Eddie feeling so good."
You pull back from Eddie a little, your hand working his cock like he paid you to do it. Your palms covered in a sheen of his pre-cum, helping you jerk him quicker while his breaths start picking up.
"Baby, baby, easy --" he pants, sweat starting to glisten at his hairline. He reaches for your forearm to steady you and you pout while he takes his cock out of your hand.
"I just wanted to make you feel nice," you say, a little whiny, playing up the part for the boys.
"You're making me feel so nice, sweet thing," he coos, "Are you feeling nice? Has anyone made you feel good yet?"
You shake your head no -- Steve tutts, "Don't be a liar, baby."
His low tone makes you sit back down on your calves, Eddie's eyes darken down on you, his hand on the side of your face snaking into your hair, "Did you already cum before I came in?"
He watches you nod, looking down at your knees.
"Look at me when I ask you a question," Eddie's voice gets a little sharp and you pulse between your legs, looking up at him through your lashes.
"I already got to cum, but it's been a long time," you urge.
Steve lets a chuckle out through his nose, his erection laying flush against his stomach, "It's been fifteen minutes."
"Greedy girl," Eddie chides, he tugs at your hair, tilting your head back so you meet his eyes, "I have an idea -- why don't you put that mouth back on Daddy's cock while I fuck you from behind."
"I think that's a great idea," Steve says, and you turn to look at him -- his eyes are lust blown -- the honey brown of them long forgotten, "Don't you, sweet thing? You were doing such a good job before."
"Yes, daddy," you nod, your head fuzzy and floaty at both men throwing demands your way.
"Go," Eddie says softly, letting go of your hair and nudging your shoulder towards Steve. You crawl the short distance over to him, starting in table top position before arching low. Steve leers at your back and how it curves out into your hips and ass while your lips slide softly over the thick vein starting at the base of his cock.
"Can't wait to see how pretty you look when you get fucked from behind," Steve coos, fingers carding through your hair, "Daddy never gets to see that pretty face when you cum."
"Mmm," you reply, hot all over. You suck softly on the tip, using your hand on the mid-shaft in the same motion as you did Eddie's. Twisting just slightly, squeezing at every flick of the wrist. You feel Ed position himself behind you, unaware of how nervous he is -- being only the second time he's been inside you. You shiver at his fingers testing your wetness between your folds, seeing how slick and ready you were before pushing himself in.
"Still a little too tight," he says, "Don't know if I'll fit, angel. We can try another time, yeah?"
"No," you whined at his teasing, spreading your legs further apart, "Please, sir. I need it."
"Aw, you need it?" Eddie mocks, two of his fingers sliding back and forth against the length of your slit, "But did you earn it?"
He smirks devilishy at your following whimper, muffled by Steve's cock hitting the back of your throat. Steve's head leaned back against the headboard, one hand gripping your hair at the scalp to control your movements on his cock.
"Oh, don't bully her, Ed," Steve says, making eye contact with him over your body, "She's definitely -- oh fuck -- earning it over here."
"Please," you whine again, coming up for air, "I'm being so good."
"She's being so good," Steve repeats to Eddie, his mocking makes your cheeks sting but you ignore the feeling as he guides you back down to his tip.
Eddie guides himself in slowly, just starting with the first couple of inches while you start to stretch for him. You gasp, arching deeper, pushing your hips back to take more of him.
"Watch yourself," Eddie hisses down at you, bringing his hand down in a sharp smack across your left cheek -- mouth watering at the reverb of your ass.
"Sorry, sir," you yelp, Steve chuckles at you, already watching you fade behind the eyes.
"Since you think you can take it like a big girl, I won't be so nice about it," he growls, shoving himself into you while you lurch forward, a pleasured cry creaking out of your throat. Eddie can barely contain himself, snapping his hips against you in a steady rythm, your slick already wetting the hair at his pelvis.
"Oh my god, oh my god," you string out, "Fuck, oh fuck, oh my god."
"Eddie, it's -- oh fuck it's so big," you whine, feeling one hand splay against your lower back, the other gripping your hip. Eddie chuckles darkly at your confession, feeling your walls clench lightly around him.
"Look at you, baby," Steve says, scooting forward to meet your face with his, losing your posture to probably take him in your mouth.
"Look at you taking that dick, you're doing so good," he lauds, "Daddy's so impressed with you."
"Thank you, Daddy," you gasp, eyes watering at the feeling of Eddie pounding into you. Your fingers gripping the sheets as your walls loosened further to accomodate his size, but it still wasn't enough. You felt so full of him, the tip of him just grazing your g-spot with every thrust.
"Why don't you look back and thank Eddie for fuckin' you so good," he recommends, but you know it's an order. Your pussy clenches again, feeling Steve's tongue and lips on your neck while you turn your head.
Eddie was drunk on the sound of you squelching over him he could barely register you talking. Eyes heavy lidded while your warm, wet slit swallowed him in, holding on tight when he got to the hilt of every thrust.
"What was that, baby?" he asks, slowing his thrusts down grunting at how you suddenly felt tighter than before.
"Thank you for -- mmm -- f-fucking me so s'good, sir," you manage to croak out.
"Just good?" he asks, reaching forward to grab gently at your chin -- admiring how your eyes rolled back when Steve sucked on a senstive part of your neck. He'd learn all your sensitive spots soon enough.
"I could fuck you even better," he says, "You want that?"
You nod feverishly, your cheeks red, your walls flutter around him with wanting.
"What do you say?" he asks, mimicking Steve from before.
"Please!" you cry out, feeling him pull his length out of you, approaching it from a different angle and -- oh. Oh.
You next cry was silent as each pump into you hit the spongey mass of your g-spot with percision. Tears took no time to start streaming down your cheeks, sending Eddie and Steve almost over the edge.
"That feels good?" Eddie asked with his brows raised, "You like getting fucked like this?"
"Y-yes," you whimper, "Yes s-sir. I love getting fucked like this."
"Why?" he asks, "Tell daddy why you love getting fucked like this."
You turn to Steve whose fisting himself hard, getting close to the edge -- his own personal porn video right here in living color. He uses his free hand to hold your head up, kissing you forcefully -- with ownership.
"Is it cause you're a pretty little whore?" Eddie asks, his rythym starting to stutter.
"Is it baby? Is it because you're a whore?" Steve's eyes narrow down at you, knowing what to say next to send you over the edge. He could tell Ed was close by the way he was biting his lip, his grip on your hips bound to leave bruises. The heat in your stomach was thrumming with excitement, building tigher and tighter, your eyes shutting tight has your ass bounced back against Eddie's deep thrusts.
Steve takes your chin roughly in his hand to steady you and your eyes pop open, his words come out sweet, "Are you daddy's filthy fucking whore?"
"Oh fuck!" you cry out, creamy spend coating Eddie's cock, squeezing down hard on him. He grunts, pulling you back on him so he can keep pumping into you -- beads of sweat springing from his forehead to your back.
You can barely control your mouth, letting out a string of expletives, finally settling on a breathy chant of, "Yes I'm a whore, yes I'm a whore, I'm such a whore, such a fucking whore for you..."
Eddie pulled out, gripping and pumping himself with speed, quickly ordering, "Knees, now."
You don't take a second to breathe, scrambling off the bed to get to your knees at the edge of the mattress. Both men, slick with swollen ruddy tips, loomig over your and your open mouth. You stick out your tongue, flattening it over your chin without being asked and you see Steve smile -- finally a learned behavior after weeks of trying to drill it into your head.
They cum simultaneously in ragged moans, a mix of their seed landing in your mouth, on your tongue, the rest smattering over the rest of your face and your closed eyes. You hear them kiss as they come down, sloppy and needy, soft little 'mms' escaping their lips as their breaths steadied.
You stay in position with your tongue out until you feel Steve take a soft tissue to your eyes. You open them gently, making sure there wasn't anything left sneaking around, letting them fully open the coast was clear. Your eyes glitter with left over tears, your pupils proving how fucked out you were. The only things in the world being Steve and Eddie, now standing over you.
"Swallow," Steve says, and you obediently put your tongue back in your mouth -- savoring the salty liquid mixing with your saliva as it pours down your throat.
"How you feeling, baby?" Eddie asks, while reaching for his boxer and sweat pants, slipping them on, "Are you okay?"
You nod, too tired to talk, but Steve asks again, "You okay?"
Whenver he repeats a question, you know it's because he wants to hear you. You've never been great at keeping your emotions at bay -- you had only cried a couple of times after sex with Steve, just from being over whelmed by the orgasms he'd give you. Even so, if you were gonna cry, he'd rather you do it with him around so he could hold you through it.
"I'm okay," you rasp out, your throat still sore from the assault of Steve's cock on your esophagus.
"You need some water?" he asked, "That was a lot, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, was a lot," you repeat, dazed. Eddie pulls you up from your knees gently and sits you on the bed, tilting your face toward him -- your eyes unfocused with a dreamy smile.
"You're not with us right now, huh?" Ed asks. You shake your head no, he sounds a little far away but his touch is electrifying. Before you know it, you're being laid back down with the covers smoothing over you. The boys shushing and cooing praises on either side of your body, covering you in kisses to the face, your lips, your neck.
You came to when a glass of cold water was pressed to your lips, an equally cool wash cloth wiping away the dried spend on your face. The biting cold of both shocked your nervous system, forcing you into a deep shuddering breath.
"There she is," Steve hums, "There's my girl."
"Hi," you say, taking another sip of water.
"Hi pretty," Eddie whispers, nuzzled against your cheek. He presses his lips against it, "Lost you there for a second."
"Sorry," you say, but your time between sips was too long for Steve's liking -- he presses the glass to your lips again.
"Don't apologize, baby. You did so good today," Steve assures, "You were such a good girl."
Such a good girl, such a good girl, such a good girl. You could float away at his words, the tone he says it in, the way he means it.
"I have to go start prepping the apples, so I'm gonna go down stairs," Eddie starts, sliding to the edge of the bed, "But I'll come back up later to come kiss you goodnight, okay?"
"Can I help?" you ask hopefully.
"Why don't you rest up a little bit more if you're feeling up to it, you can come help me," Eddie says, "That was a lot, you should just relax."
"Okay," your shoulders droop a little, but you know he's right. You watch him go, stopping in the bathroom to clean up. Steve puts the empty glass on the bedside table, pulling you close to him. You sink into his arms, feeling protected under the bulge of his bicep flexing over your chest.
"Today was nice," his voice like the warm sugar on the donuts earlier.
"Today was nice," you agree with a tired, happy sigh. You look at him, his eyes back to the honey brown you fell head over heels for, "I love you, Harrington."
He blushes, hiding his face in your shoulder, always so vulnerable after a fuck like that. He leaves a peck on the flesh there before meeting your forehead with his.
"I love you, too. I love you the most."
Midwinter, Early 1991
"Hey," you hear Eddie's voice, soft and gentle, "Wake up, baby."
Your eyes peel open, you're still in the van but parked. It's dark out now, you must've fallen asleep. Your face feels puffy from crying, the familiar post sob aches creaked in your joints. His hand rubs your shoulder and you lean into it, turning to face him.
"Hi sleepy," he smiles, "Were you dreamin'?"
You nod, but you aren't sure if you were dreaming -- more so caught in a memory.
"We're here, okay?" he asks, "You want to sit in the van for a minute and get your bearings?"
You rub your eyes and nod, looking out of the windsheild to see a cozy looking inn next to the small parking lot. You're not sure where you are, but through the first floor windows you can see a fireplace and plush leather chairs. He wanted to take you somewhere safe, you think. Somewhere that doesn't feel like home does right now. He's taking you to some version of The Shire, just like in his books.
You hear Eddie get out of the car to collect your bags from the back, he looks over his shoulder with a fond smile. You feel warm and it's not from the heat still blasting on you. Eddie feels so safe, just like he did on that tree branch at the apple orchard.
Your chest aches again, desperate for how it felt to be a trio again. How it was when Steve was okay, when Eddie wasn't always on defense, when you weren't afraid to come home some nights. Like it was before.
Before you had a before.
Before there was a before.
Stray Kids ✧ Their Kinks
Synopsis: Kinks that I think the Stray Kids members would have.
Warnings: Pure Sex/Kink Material so be warned about all of it.
Note: This is really all I thought about the past few days and I didn't want to suffer through it alone so here you go, loves.
♡︎ follow, provide feedback, or reblog if you enjoyed but please don't repost or translate!♡︎
MDNI, 18+ CONTENT
.·:*¨༺ Bang Chan ༻¨*:·.
Sir Kink ➵ Receiving
Auralism ➵ Music/Moaning
Body Worship/Praise Kink ➵ Giving
"We can take, we can take, we can take our time, baby"
He was always so soft with you, taking time to kiss every single insecurity of yours. He was never in a rush when he was with you, even curating a playlist that ran for hours without looping just for the two of you to listen in intimate moments like these.
"In slow motion"
You could hear the song faintly play in the background as he kissed down your abdomen, dragging out each touch as he whispered sweet nothings against your soft skin. Never did he fail to make you feel loved.
"We can take, we can take, we can take our time, stay here"
During your first time together, you couldn't help but bite back moans during the experience. He could tell it made you nervous to be so vocal about your own please, so he didn't hesitate to make sure you knew he loved you every moment from then on.
"You're so, so beautiful," he'd whisper. "I can't believe you're mine."
.·:*¨༺ Lee Know ༻¨*:·.
Cockwarming ➵ Receiving
Orgasm Denial ➵ Giving
Corruption Kink ➵ Prefers Inexperience
"I won't fuck you until you've earned it."
His harsh words went straight up to your core. He had first stuffed himself deep inside you when he got home from practice and found you up late, working on an assignment. To make matters worse, he told you not to move until you had finished every question on the assignment.
He was the first and only person you'd ever been with sexually, and to be honest, you didn't know much about that topic beforehand. You were more so the type of person to bury themselves in their work. Now though, it was like you were made to fit his girth. Or was it that he had trained your body to wrap around him perfectly?
You didn't know anymore, but you didn't care. All you could focus on now was finishing this last question. Or at least, that's what you tried to focus on, if it wasn't for the constant hope of him thrusting in and out of you that made your mind run instead. In your frustration, you subconsciously rub your thighs together in an effort to get something. Anything.
"Tsk, I told you not to move, doll. Up." You obey almost immediately, excited that maybe he'd end up fucking you to oblivion after what seemed like endless torture for hours. Instead, he too got up from the chair and started walking out the door.
"That assignment isn't going to finish itself, doll. Maybe I'll treat you tomorrow."
.·:*¨༺ Seo Changbin ༻¨*:·.
Thigh Riding ➵ Receiving
Breeding ➵ Giving
Breath Play ➵ Receiving/Giving
Your hands were knotted in his hair, as you bounced on his toned thigh. You moaned lightly at the sensation.
He chuckled a bit at the noises spilling from your lips. “Does that feel nice, pretty?”
“F-fuck god yes, please-”
He bounced his thigh a bit underneath you just to see how you would react, making you cry out in pleasure.
"Please what, pretty?"
You let another moan as you got closer and closer to your limit. "P-please, I need you in me."
You didn't have to ask him twice as he quickly flipped your position around from the edge of the bed to him on top of you. He brings his hands up to your throat, wrapping his fingers around tightly enough to pin you down as he holds his cock just outside your heat. You struggle in vain against his grip as you fight to get him inside you. He smirks as you push up into him and try to close the distance.
"Patience, pretty. We have all night so see how many times I can fill you up and get cum dripping out of you."
.·:*¨༺ Hwang Hyunjin ༻¨*:·.
Altocalciphilia ➵ High Heels
Exhibitionism ➵ Semi-Public
Katoptronophilia ➵ Mirror Sex
"Open those eyes for me, baby. Look at how pretty we look together."
You open your eyes to see the sight reflecting off the dressing room mirror in front of you. You're sitting between his legs, with your legs wrapped over his as he teased you, only dressed in a pair of heels. Your back is pressed against your chest as you keep from moaning too loud. He has his eyes trained on your body as he watches every attempt. He can tell that you're trying to keep your composure, but unfortunately for you, he intends to see you drift away in ecstasy.
He wants you to be desperate for his touch.
So he picks up the pace even more, determined to make beg. You whine at the pleasure, your nails digging deep into the sides of his legs. You're about to moan out once more before he shoves two of his fingers into your mouth.
"Suck on them, baby," He mumbles before planting a kiss on your shoulder. "Can't have you crying out to the whole store before we're done."
.·:*¨༺ Han Jisung ༻¨*:·.
Voyeurism ➵ Receiving/Giving
Praise Kink ➵ Receiving
Marking ➵ Receiving/Giving
"You're such a good boy for me, hm?"
You drag your fingers down his chest and abdomen, watching him shiver under your touch. He lets out a shaky gasp as he feels you wrap your fingers around his shaft and pump him slowly. He finds himself leaning his head into the crook of your neck
"With how loudly you were moaning my name when I got home, I'm starting to think you wanted me to catch you."
He would die before he admitted that you were absolutely right. In his defense, the first time was a complete accident. He needed a release and you just happened to show up at that moment. And as much as it should have disgusted him to moan your name on his lips without you knowing and then get caught, he found it thrilling. Exciting. He thrived on the idea that you could catch him hard for you.
Not until he caught you in the same position, arching your back, calling out his name did he realize you felt just as vulnerable for him as he did for you. Now, it had become an unspoken game for the two of you: seeing just how many times you can catch one another in such a compromising position.
He bit your shoulder to prevent himself from moaning once you began to pump him faster. He was so close. So, so close. That's when you stop and pull your hand away.
"Now, puppy, we're going to try that again. And this time," you drag a thumb against his bottom lip, "I want to hear those pretty sounds of yours."
.·:*¨༺ Lee Felix ༻¨*:·.
Massage ➵ Giving
Temperature Play ➵ Ice Cubes/Warm Oils
Oral Fixation ➵ Giving
"You'll be relaxed in no time."
You're laying on your stomach as he rubbed his hands in oil to warm them up before rubbing your shoulders. He could feel just how tense they were and no wonder, considering how stressful your day seemed to have been. He started moving down towards the middle of your back, releasing any knots he could feel. You let out a soft sigh of satisfaction at the feeling of your lover's hands on you.
"Could you do me a favor and turn onto your back, darling? I have something new I wanted to try on you that I thought would be relaxing."
You give a nod of affirmation before rolling onto your back and closing your eyes. It still made you nervous, being exposed in front of him, but he always had a way of reassuring you without pushing your boundaries too much.
You gasp when a sudden cold sensation hits your nipples. You open your eyes and look down to see he was now holding an ice cube. It was such a juxtaposition from the warmth of the oils you were feeling before, and it made you excited.
"Is it too cold? Here," He moves the ice cube away, "Let me warm them up for you."
You expect him to use the massage oils he used before but instead, he brings his tongue down onto your chest and plays with each nipple. The sensation is overwhelming, and you moan softly as he focuses on every part of your chest, alternating between his mouth and the ice.
"I wonder how much I can get you to shake if I move the ice lower, hm?"
.·:*¨༺ Kim Seungmin ༻¨*:·.
Cybersex ➵ Video Calls/Phone Calls
Degradation ➵ Giving
Daddy Kink ➵ Receiving
"It looks like you're missing me, bunny."
You whine in embarrassment as he watches you desperately get yourself off on your own. You both aren't overly sexual people, but somehow you'd get the neediest for his touch when he had to be away for long periods of time. On one hand, the filthiness of your own actions in front of the camera made you feel embarrassed. However, they'd also motivate you to be louder for him. To remind him that even when he's away, you're thinking of him. To let him know what awaits him when he comes back home.
"Daddy please, please. I want to see you. Stop being so mean to me."
What was even lewder was watching him rub over his sweatpants as he watched you with hunger in his eyes. Pressing your shoulders into the mattress and arching your back, you imagined how it'd feel if it were his hands touching you. But it wasn't enough. You had to see him. You needed to see him. But you'd be lying if you say that his teasing bothered you. If anything, it made you crave to work harder for him. To please him in a way that only you could.
"Aw, bunny, I'd take you more seriously if you weren't obviously so needy for me. Moan my name a little louder and I'll consider it."
.·:*¨༺ Yang Jeongin ༻¨*:·.
Sensory Deprivation ➵ Receiving/Giving
Restraints ➵ Giving
Overstimulation ➵ Giving/Receiving
"Is that comfortable? Not too tight?"
You shook your head, feeling the satin ropes tied around your wrists. He always prefers satin over the traditional handcuffs, which was you had also become accustomed to the black satin over your eyes. You can feel the bed shift as he moved beside you, every move calculated but foreign to you, as all you relied on was the sounds and sensations.
It wasn't long before one of his arms wrapped around your leg, pulling it aside while the other rests on your lower stomach to lightly pin you down. He was determined to please you by alternating between long and slow strokes and more short and quick ones. It wasn't until he looked up at you without stopping that you came undone, the pleasure growing tenfold with the loss of touch and sight. You trembled at the sudden release, but he kept at the task at hand, pleasing you through your orgasm. You sob out at the mix of pain and pleasure until he finally pulls away from you.
He leans back to observe the masterpiece before him: eyes lidded, lips parted, chest rising and falling in a shaking rhythm. He can't help but soak his two fingers in your opening before bringing his fingers to his mouth. The obscene sight made you clench your thighs as the desire in you began to rekindle its flame.
"Angel, fuck me, you taste delicious."
++ ENHYPEN's HYUNG LINE HAVING A CRUSH ON ANOTHER IDOL °.+*
pairing: idol!enhypen hyung line x idol!reader
warnings: none as i know of. maybe mention of getting stuck in an elevator, food mention
a/n: i didnt rlly know what to name this reaction this was the best i came up w 🥸 also im sorry hee and jays r much shorter i will make them longer next time
reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3
lee heeseung — 이희승
i have a huge Huge feeling dude would Not know what to do 😭
esp if ur under hybe as well??? He would always see u in the hallways and would be so starstruck by ur beauty every single time so would you
poor baby would be too shy to start up a conversation with you and would end up longing from afar :(
BUT!!! you guys got stuck in an elevator together. while its not the most ideal situation to be in.
He!! Lee Heeseung!! had the chance to talk to you!!!!!
he was So gonna rub this in ni-ki's face bc little shit said he was never gonna balls up and start a convo 😒
and start a conversation he did
you guys ending up hitting it off and exchanged numbers <3
talking whenever and eating lunch together when you both can <3
imagine learning each others dances together :(( AFFGH
SINGING EACH OTHERS SONGS AAHHHH
the hybe family games together agshdjsjcj
after the hybe family games u guys are one of the cutest friendships in kpop and everyone loves you so much
sunghoon owes jake 10 bucks now since hee talked to you
park jongseong — 박종성
jay really just Screams friends to lovers to me it makes so much sense
you guys have been friends ever since you met at inkigayooo.
sunoo actually gave you a sandwich cause he was a huge fan of ur group wanting to be friends pleek TT
ANYWAYS,,, ur group and enha became close, seeing as you debuted around the same time and were all around the same age.
jay fell for you so easily, your humor and personality were charming, inviting. everything about you was perfect to him.
honestly you never really knew jay liked you because you thought he treated you like everybody else???
THAT IS !!!! until you heard the jakehoon talking abt it
you went complete 🚨🚨🚨 /pos maybe like 🚨😮🥰🚨
YOU NEEDED TO KNOW IF THIS WAS SERIOUS??? obviously who wouldnt need to know if jay liked them???
you never thought of him in that way. but it just felt so right when you did
you didnt wanna push so you just sat not so calmy with this newfound information until you couldnt hold it in anymore.
safe to say, you two are partners and so are happy <3
sim jaeyun — 심재윤
jakey jakey jakey jakeyyy
your group had debuted before enha and niki was a huge fan because WOW?? UR DANCING SKILLS?? out of this WORLD
niki soon introduced ur group to sunoo, sunoo introduced it to jake and jake introduced it so Everybody.
he was just so captivated by you. ur vibe everything about you was just so interesting to him.
he spent the first whole night he learnt abt ur group binging video and compilations of you.
jakey was a hardcore fanboy now
everything was fine and he was fanboying alone until you both were promoting at the same time
poor puppy was a Mess.
remember how he was looking at the wall instead of wony? yeah thats him but 2007382 worse because his ears are so red from looking at you One time.
but somehow !! someway !! he mustered up the courage to talk to you
cue kissin u by miranda cosgrove sparks fly its like electricity i might die when i forget how to breathe you get closer and theres nowhere in this world id rather be
you thought he was so cute because he was so sweet and shy talking to you. and you!! YOU!!! gave him!! your number🥰
jakey would send you dog videos any chance and if ur a cat person he'd send cute cat videos too but mostly dogs aka layla
itd be kinda hard to hangout since ur in different companies but you guys facetimed any chance you could get
AGGH i love sim jake so much i might cry
"baby did you know that i was a huge fan of you and ur group! :D thats why i came and talked to you"
"i know jakey" "HOW????" "riki told me"
absolute betrayal noises he'd be so dramatic goodness
park sunghoon — 박성훈
i feel like he first saw you at music bank since he was an mc
your group was promoting ur new cute concept mini album and goodness
you were just. So. Cute.
absolutely melted but kept quite composed yk how it is professional things
hoon would talk abt u all the time but would Not make a move toward actually talking to you. smh
our wonyoung and enha were actually the ones who pushed him to Say Something
so one day on ur groups last day of promoting wony gave sunghoon a stern look and Bro Booked it trying to find you
he was looking around, out of breath from running and didnt even notice that he bumped into and knocked you over
was so extremely flustered
he did help you up tho like the gentleman he is <3
apologized profusely would not stop until he literally made you push him over also 😭
you just tapped him cause ??? why would you push him over pls
you guys did not exchange numbers cause hoon was too flustered to do anything and bowed and walked into a wall away
you guys will be pushed together again one day i promise you
You just have to ask for his number next time <:]
enposter @ tumblr | 2022
SUPER SAD SONGS!
its was 6pm, and kazuha had walked into the gym right on time. she looked around and saw sunghoon. she smiled and ran up to him and gave him a tight hug. “hi sunghoon” she said as she smiled at him.
she then heard a sound. it sounded as if someone make their thraot clear. she looked around and saw sunoo and her smile dropped but it quickly picked up as she didnt want anyone to notice. but sunoo did. “hi sunoo” she said with a fake smile. sunoo nodded.
“what did you wanna talk about?” she asked as she looked back at sunghoon. anyone could clearly see how she had heart eyes for him. “well uh-“ “cut the shit, whats your issue kazuha” sunoo cut sunghoon off as he crossed his arms.
“i-i- i dont know what you’re talking about” kazuha laughed nervously. “let me see” sunoo said as he stood up and started walking around the girl in a circle. “threats to sakura about doing all this? ruin all yn’s opportunities? oh and lets not forget, making sure yn didn’t debut? does any of those ring a bell?” sunoo continued as he stood right in front of kazuha, slightly looking down at her with a cold expression.
“w-w-what? how do you even know about all those things!” kazuha shouted in frustration. “we know alot, now are you gonna explain yourself?” sunghoon said as he looked at kazuha with cold eyes. she felt her heart break slightly. she had lost. she truly had. it was like the world was working against her in all ways. “agh that stupid bitch yn, if she wasn’t here then none of this would have happened. dont you see, she ruined my life! she took all the opportunities i could have had, even you sunghoon. im in love with you, but ofc you had to like her. she took everything from me, now its my turn to make her pay.” kazuha said as she grabbed her hair in frustration.
sunoo and sunghoon sat in silence for a while. “why” sunoo asked after a looking at sunghoon for a bit. lazuha sighed softly. “im so tired of being in yns shadow. she was always the one that did the best no matter what, but i’ll give it to her, she practiced hard for everything. she did her best so that she could excel and you could see it but im jus so tired of yn taking everything away from me. the thing that makes it worse is that when she didn’t get the debut spot, she didn’t even seem sad about it. she instead said i deserved it and carried on with her life like normal again which to me is such a huge thing to do. if i didn’t debut i would probably be crying rn yk?” kazuha said as a few tears dropped from her eyes.
“but dont you think you’re going the wrong way about this? like youre creating all this jus so she could feel some sort of remorse but cant you see its not working. yn would’ve shown so much already if it was different but she isnt. and that’s because shes a mentally strong person.” sunghoon said as he felt bad for kazuha.
“i know i have no excuse for what i did, i jus think i was so blinded by the fact that i got it and she didn’t that i wanted her to feel bad. as if all her hardwork went for nothing and that she was useless. it felt so good being in power for once.” kazuha said. “i understand but you need to realise that not everyone is the way you are and how you think.” sunghoon said. “i hope you know this means im not forgiving you at all, but thank you for telling us all this. you need help kazuha. you’re not mentally okay” sunoo said as he sighed and left the gym.
“sunghoon?” kazuha said after they sat in a while in silence. “hm” he hummed. “im sorry” she said softly. sunghoon sighed and walked towards the door. “i shouldn’t be the one youre saying sorry to. youve caused years of healing to sudden be ripped open again. yn needs the apology not me. i hope you know management will be told about all this.” sunghoon said coldly as he left kazuha in the room alone.
masterlist | previous | next
PAIRINGS — idol!park sunghoon x idol!fem!reader
SYPNOSIS — yln yn and park sunghoon are sworn enemies ever since highschool. unfortunately for yn, she had undeniably huge feelings for sunghoon and wrote love songs for him. now they both are out of school, one being an idol, the other still writing songs in the comfort of their home. what happens when yn accidentally leaks one of her songs that miraculously ends up blowing up? and why does her voice sound so familiar to sunghoon?
TAGLIST (closed) — @yunki4evr @ijustmetyouandthisiscrazy @thisisnotjacinta @trsrina @liliansun @shinsou-rii @seosracha @notdrunkbutdazed @shoooobin @vatterie @kimmchijjajang @ilvsoup @sungookie @vampsvngie @winteringdream @hikyeom @raimbows4u @gfksn @enhasengene @luviehyck @nyfwyeonjun @allcra @luveuly @jwsflower @jihyoscrown @wooniy @fadedluvv @jakelux @enheyy @y4wnjunz @yjwluvs @kyanmeai @indelicate-macalino @sophhloaff @02zluvbot @lowxkie @ohmyhuenings @nomniki @lost-leopard-beanie @captivq @cosmicwintr @ahnneyong @diamondx211 @cyuuupid @lvepsh @xtra-cheese @jeongintwt @butterflyy-ningg @dasa3040 @meiiiwa
Rottmnt Headcanons!! (2)
Leo listens to girl in red because April once forced him to and he fell in love with all the songs. When hanging out, they put girl in red in the background.
Raph has a lot of plushies from his childhood. He doesn't play with them anymore, but they're still they're and he would never give them up (haha just like me fr!!)
There was this one time where the turtles wanted pizza and instead of just ordering like any normal person they crashed a stranger's kitchen and stole every pizza related thing. It's still an unsolved crime.
Donnie always had problem with touching, but it got a lot worse after the movie. Now he doesn't let anyone hug him, slap him or anything. Especially on his shell. He feels bad for flinching when people try to hug him. The others tell him that they don't mind and they get it. He's really grateful for that.
When they were younger, Splinter got these really depressing episodes where he couldn't even get out of bed. Raph was the one to take care of them when this happened. The worst ones could last weeks.
Splinter didn't want to get attached to the turtles, so he tried to be as distant as possible whole still being a good caretaker. Also, he gave them as much freedom as possible because of how he didn't have any growing up, but since he never wanted to be with his grandfather he didn't think they would want to be with him. Which is why he was so surprised when four little children came into his room crying because he wouldn't play with them.
After explaining the whole future thing to Casey, she ran into the Lair, deciding to test her son. He passed immediately.
The twins have their own version of the Lair Games which they play everyday to decide who's the oldest. It can change from rock papper scissors to a fight to the death (Raph always stops them before they actually do anything).
The boys chose their own names. Splinter was reading them a book, and Donnie mentioned the fact that they don't have actual names, just weird color nicknames. So, Splinter tells them to find a name they like and make it their own. They decided to go by the names they have now because they wanted to match.
They all love Brooklyn 99 because I love Brooklyn 99.
Everytime they talk about “the family”, they include April, because she's their sister.
There was this one time where April didn't have anyone to go to the school dance with so Leo joined the school a few months before and went with her using Sunita's cloaking brooch (he had to fight Donnie because he also wanted to go to school).
Mikey tried to give Big Mama a redemption arc like he did with Draxum, but he didn't manage to fully do it so they now visit eachother once a week while still fighting whenever they're on duty.
The Krang is basically the only thing Leo won't joke about. They found out when Donnie said that “the last fun thing I did was two months ago and it was becoming a fucking Krang spaceship” and Leo stared at him for the next ten minutes.
Whenever Mikey or Leo go quiet, Raph is alone and Donnie is handling dangerous weapons without adult supervision it's because something is going down.
April is the only one who has a normal sleep schedule because her mom won't let her stay awake too late.
Mayhem thinks the family is stupid, but he loves them anyway. Sometimes.
Raph screamed when Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago kissed and everyone else worried.
Leo and Raph are basically the scene where Jake says “if I run at Terry he'll most likely catch me in his arms”. Raph would catch anyone else, but it's only Leo the one who throws himself at him.
April goes to the Lair almost everyday and complains about school with any of the boys. They always listen to her rants.
Leo figured out that he had adhd when April told him that she thought he had it. He never got the chance to get an actual diagnosis so he felt like he wasn't even if the sings were all there and he could see them.
Sunita found everyone a therapist at the Hidden City. Her name's Charlie and they all like her.
Donnie likes to threaten people he doesn't like. He also threatens Leo, but he doesn't actually mean them.
Because of being in contact with eachother when they were mutated, the turtles have traits of the other's species. That's why Donnie can go into his shell, why he has purple marks, why Raph's isn't as spiny as he should be, why their colors are different from the original species, etc.
Red eared sliders comunicate with vibrations, so Leo does this really low vibration thing when he feels happy, pleased or just when he's in a good mood that April calls purring no matter how much he complains about it.
The brainrot is real also this song makes me think of Jack
"Nobody will understand what we have."
You remembered Jack telling you that before and sometimes it bothered you more than other times. You'd thought you'd resigned to yourself that this just was a thing that simply...was. Whatever you could call this. Inwardly you called it a relationship, the levels of intimacy the two of you had started diving into.
And truthfully, it'd been some time since you'd felt so loved, so safe, that Jack was so caring and compassionate to you. Always checking on you, careful not to cross any of your boundaries, always prioritizing your comfort and feelings. And it felt incredible, the warmth that he brought to your life. Even now, while you were curled into his side on your bed in the cover of night.
But when you stepped out into the world outside your apartment door- nobody else could see him, see him with you. Nobody could hear him speak and you couldn't always answer-running the risk that you looked out of your mind and maybe you were? No. This...JACK, was real. Tangible under your fingertips now that dared to brush a tuft of cerulean from his forehead. You lamented you couldn't take him on traditional dates or hold his hand- not that it ever stopped him from slinging an arm around your shoulders or waist.
You weren't sure if life was blessing you or cursing you. A caring and loving boyfriend but...
"...mmngh...Sunshine...? Are you okay?" Jack groggily rolled over, large arms pulling you closer to nuzzle into your hair. Your hands immediately moved to embrace him back. To hold him close as though to ground yourself. He's here, beside you, warm and solid against you. A soft kiss is pressed behind your ear as Jack sighs and you swallow thickly.
"Y-Yeh...I'm alright. Just...kinda got in my own head, couldn't sleep." Your murmur softly, turning your head to get a better look at him, or attempt to in the moonlight that spilled through your curtains. You kiss the bridge of his nose sweetly in return and it pulls a sleepy smile to his lips before he gives a sharp inhale.
"Something bothering you?... we can talk about it." Jack offers, dark doe eyes opening slowly to gazd at you fondly. He's just so sweet and considerate...you feel your heart clench and warmth bloom in your chest. A smile tugs at your lips as you reach to guide him down for a lingering kiss and Jack's forehead rests upon yours.
"No...no I'm alright."
"If you're not, it's okay. You know you can tell me anything and I'll always be here for you no matter what." It's his turn to brush some hair from your face before pressing a kiss to your forehead, "It's easy to have your thoughts go late at night...why don't I fix you some tea?" Jack offers, propping himself up and already prepared to venture into the kitchen for you.
There's a soft sound of protest from you, almost akin to a whine at the slight absence of his warmth. You flush, a little embarrassed--oh god what if you're being needy?? Or clingy?? Fuck, there goes all those wild thoughts running in a few different directions that make you deflate slightly. Jack notices this, as he notices all things about you- he knows you like the back of his hand. "Oh, Sunshine..." he coos, craning his neck down to steal another kiss, "How about this-- we both make some tea, we put on that movie you like so much, cuddle up on the couch...and when you fall asleep, I'll tuck you right back in."
He's been pretty firm with not sleeping on the couch from the jump. It's sweet but you've slept in worse places or positions.
But the offer is genuine, focused on helping you clear your head and feel better from the hole your own brain has dug of doubts and self worth. There's no judgement to be seen on him, just that same warm soothing smile of Sunny Day Jack. You could almost cry, almost but you don't feel that bad about it anymore. How could you with such an enticing offer and Jack's abundance of affection? You nod and push yourself up from bed, peeling back the covers to pad into the kitchen, Jack's hand in yours in the short walk and your fingers laced together. Or rather more your hand engulfed in his.
But it feels nice. The gesture is comforting even if you can't do it in public. In this moment- you feel whole. As you often do in the private moments with Jack.
As tea is prepared, your preferred blend and choice of additions added just the way you like, Jack walks with you into the living room. You waste no time bundling back up in blankets with him, seated on his lap with your head against his chest, cradling a warm mug between your hands. The TV flickers to light as Jack fumbles a little to toggle over to the correct platform to watch your comfort show before his arms rest securely around your form. Your body relaxes against him and a hand rubs soothing patterns on your back, tracing the curve of your spine up to the nape of your neck as you release a content sigh. A warm chuckle reverberates through Jack's chest. "Feeling better, (Name)?"
You nod your head and give him a far more convincing smile. "I don't tell you enough but...I really appreciate you, Jack." The clown seems to melt at your words a little, blush dusting over the apples of his cheeks. "Thank you." A kiss is placed to the sharp curve of his jaw and it isn't far after Jack carefully catches your chin between his fingers. Carefully angling to kiss you proper and not spill the hot drink in your hands. The kiss is slow and with purpose, proclamation of unbridled adoration and love that he feels for you every moment of his existence.
"I love you, Sunshine."
Hear me out:
A Remus x Reader oneshot based on a Lana Del Ray song (if you haven't already done one)
cinnamon girl - r.l
summary; in which if remus holds you without hurting you, he'd be the first one who ever did.
warnings; reader was in abusive/toxic relationship before remus so there are some descriptions of what they did to the reader yk. also reader isn't straight (sorry if you are).
a/n; i'm not sure if this is exactly what cinnamon girl is about but i had this idea in my notes for a while. i also have more ideas for marauders era characters x reader one shots based on lana songs! i'll hope you enjoy this one and the upcoming ones too!
you were in a relationship before remus, all ending with disaster. you were afraid to get into another one because you started to think that you attracted assholes or worse, that it was you who caused all the disasters.
you were afraid that things with remus would end exactly like they did with john, a very handsome hufflepuff boy who you lost your virginity to. he told you how much he loved you and that he will marry you after school. that was only days before you found out he was cheating on you with your best friend. you never talked to any of them since.
or maybe it could end like with anna, the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. she listened to you when you talked about your problems or about john or about your ex best friend. everything seemed so perfect, as if the clouds finally uncovered the sun and you shone brightly. that was until you found out it was a bet. it was actually anna's friend who told you because she started to feel this was going too far.
maybe though it, only maybe, it could be like with lucas whom around you felt you couldn't breathe. and not in that way because you felt like everything will be okay, but in that way that you felt like if you did breathe, he would explode like a bomb, so unexpectedly. and then hit you. because somehow, it was always you who cut the wrong wire.
you knew that remus would never hurt you. that was not his intention. but that's what you thought about john, anna and after everything, even lucas.
remus knew about all of them, you had to explain to him why were you sometimes so insecure, why did you flinch during arguments or why did you once asked him if you could wear outside an outfit you liked.
he promised he would never do anything to hurt you, not intentionally. and you tried to believed him so badly, you truly did, but deep down there was still a piece of you that told you not to get attached because you never know how long is he planning on to stay.
when you two were lying in bed every night, he hold you so tightly, as if he was scared you'd suddenly run away. he whispered "i love you"s as he kissed the top of your head and you just couldn't help but to think. . .
will you hurt me now or will you hurt me later?
please do it now, you pleaded in your mind. so i could be prepared and not dissapointed after you do so.
you wanted to ask him, tell him how you were feeling but. . . what if that makes him go away? you wanted him to live and not to feel like a bother.
you started crying as soon as you got into james and lily's house. you wrote a letter to lily that day than you needed to talk. thankfully, james wasn't home that day.
"oh my poor y/n, what is going on?" she sat you on the couch and sat next to you.
"i love remus so much, lily, so so much," you sobbed.
"well, that is good thing, no? you love him, it is a good thing," she handed you a tissue.
"no, it's certainly not good," you said while blowing your nose. "i'm so scared."
"scared of what?"
later that day, remus got home work earlier than you expected, finding you crying in the kitchen, sitting by the table. you were sobbing loudly, that's why you didn't hear him coming
"oh, no, y/n," he immediately dropped the bags with groceries he bought before he got home and got on his knees in front of you. "what is it, my pretty girl?"
my pretty girl, your and his favourite nickname. because you were his, and the prettiest person on the earth for him.
"i don't want you to hurt me," you admitted, there it was. you finally did it.
unfortunately, his mind went somewhere else. his face went pale. "i. . ." he was speachless. "but you said you love me no matter what!"
"what?" you asked, completely clueless. was he thinking you'd love him and stay with him even if he was fucking around with other people? or that you'd never leave even after you find out it was all a bet or that you'd forgive him even if he hits you? you had no idea.
"you said that you don't mind what i turn once a month into!"
so that's what he was thinking. he thought you were afraid of him hurting you as a werewolf.
you opened your mouth, "remus—"
"no, that's okay," he cut you off. "i understand that you are scared of a monster like me."
"remus!" you said.
"i should just pack my things."
"i'll be at sirius's if—"
"remus!" you shouted now.
"that's not what i was thinking of," you assured. "that's not what i would ever think of."
"oh," he let out a sigh of relief. "so what is it?"
you stayed quiet for a moment. he was very patient, which was something you appraciated. "i don't want our relationship to end like it did with john, anna, or worse—"
"lucas," he finished and you nodded. as i said, he knew exactly what happened with every single one of them. "but, honey, who said anything about breaking up? did i say or do something to make you feel like that? i am so sorry if i did. id there anything i can do?"
"maybe remind me that you'll never hurt me?" you smiled and looked at your lap. "i really like to hear that."
he lifted your chin with his fingers and placed a sweet kiss on your lips. "my love, i will never hurt you or stop loving you or anything. how could i hurt or fall out of love with someone who irons my socks?"
he was happy to hear you laugh again.
"besides," he picked up a bag, "i brought you your favourite dinner!"
She Gets The Flowers Right?
Katsuki Bakugo X gn! Reader (Kinda)
This is super self-indulgent. I'm going through it right now. This is based on the song 'She gets the flowers'.
Link to the Song: https://youtu.be/dUUCZvKxzSQ
Summary: Bakugo leaves reader for someone else
Pairing: ex Bakugo X gn! Reader
Warnings: ANGST. There is no fluff. Character death. Depression. Not eating. Breakup.
Word Count: 1,039
Tell me what she has that I don't?
Why you were so fast to let go of us?
'Cause she's all you wanted
When it was my heart you didn't want it
Why wasn't I cast in your show?
I had noticed when we had started training with Class 1B that he stared at her a lot. It was small glances at first, but then it grew. I wasn’t insecure in our relationship then; I was sure we were going to make it.
A foreigner, she was naïve but kind and understanding. Pony Tsunotori was pretty, and apparently everything I wasn’t.
One second I was on solid ground then I was free-falling.
'Cause I gave you everything
All my friends are saying it's you, it's not me
Wish I could believe them
I wish I could’ve believed Momo when she said that it wasn’t my fault. The conviction in her voice wasn’t enough.
We had been together for 2 years and it had all been thrown away. I didn’t even get a say. He just walked away.
But she gets the flowers, right?
The posts made about her
A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah
A love that I gave
I got excuses and you got to use this
Leave me in the dust, with nothing and just, walk away
But she gets the flowers, right?
She gets the flowers
He treated her different. He went out of his way for her to be happy. She was loved and it was so obvious. Their love felt easy even to people watching. He was softer for her, less yelling, less insults, just less. I never thought that he was that kind of person to change for someone else. Even I molded myself to him in some ways.
The real heartbreaker was when he bought her flowers. I love flowers, but he always made excuses. “They’ll die soon anyways why waste money?” he’d say. He bought her flowers all the time now.
Tell me why I wasn't enough
After all that I gave up for you
Was it too much to ask
For just a part of what I gave you back
Why was I so hard to love?
Our relationship wasn’t always easy. We would fight, but it always worked out in the end. I gave up some of my hobbies just to fit into his schedule. Shifted my life to be with him.
When he broke up with me, he was so cold, so unlike him. He said we were too different, that we wouldn’t work out in the long run. There was nothing in his eyes when he saw me cry. All his promises gone in a matter of minutes.
He promised me forever. I loved him with everything I had. All of it gone.
And you found your person
Oh, there's nothing worse than knowing she's happy
The way I wanted to be
I must admit, Pony is pretty. She complements him in a lot of ways. The way they both get riled up for their beliefs. The way she just trusts people, and he doesn’t. The perfect blend.
It’s hard to watch him laugh with her. The way he throws his head back. It’s hard to watch him be gentle with her, only to treat me like a stranger.
It’s hard to watch him treat her the way I wanted to be treated.
And she gets the flowers, right?
The posts made about her
A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah
A love that I gave
I got excuses, you got to use this
Leave me in the dust, with nothing and just, walk away
And she gets the flowers, right?
Yes, she gets the flowers
I didn’t even get a break from him. I got two days then I was confronted with pitiful stares and hushed voices. People treated me different, some like I was damaged, others like I was going to explode at any time.
I didn’t realize how hard life got after someone broke your heart. I was left awake at night, head flooded with questions. I wasn’t hungry, too many things to think about. I was fading away and I didn’t feel like there was any escape. All I could wait for was graduation. I could leave to a place where no one knew what happened to me. I could get away from him and start over.
He even had the boldness to say we could be friends when I calmed down. We both knew that was a lie. We both knew that he would continue like he had never met me. That would pretend and he would continue to treat her better than anything I ever received form him.
Do her eyes look better when they shine?
Do her lips taste sweeter than mine?
Does she look prettier when she cries?
Was I just too hard to handle?
Too emotionally unstable?
You don't want me
And I can't change your mind
Being left with more questions than answers kept me up at night. I let myself wonder why he didn’t want me. What I did wrong. I stopped sleeping for the most part and it affected me. I lost too much weight from not eating.
I did throw myself into training though. If I couldn’t save myself then I would save others, even if it killed me in the end. I know my friends are worried about me, but it is what it is, and I can’t change that.
She gets the flowers, right?
The posts made about her
A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah
A love that I gave
I got excuses, you got to use this
Leave me in the dust, with nothing and just, walk away
And she gets the flowers, right?
I was right. I saved thousands of people, gave new starts to hundreds, but in the end it caught up with me.
He’s still with her, even after all this time. It’s all over the news, I couldn’t escape it. So I stayed the same, still throwing myself into my hero work.
I can be at peace now knowing I won’t hurt anymore.
Maybe now I’ll get the flowers.