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#this reminds me so much of Norway
ifindus · 3 months
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idk if you are a big handball fan, but can I request nyo norway vs. nyo france fanart? 🇫🇷🤾🏼‍♀️💥🇳🇴
The final today was such a suspenseful watch!! 😫😭 So sad, but all respect to France, they played amazing and were simply just better. The semi-final against Denmark was nerve-wracking tho 😳
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mxlynncizii · 2 years
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Not to spoil their fun, but I'm pretty sure Keith from subwoolfer could be bård from ylvis
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kllrwhale · 2 years
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svealandschoof
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minniepetals · 9 months
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cry me a river | the reckless
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— summary: in the face of danger, you run right into it
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: angst, mafia!au
— word count: 4.7k
— warnings: slight violence
— PART 24 / previous post / masterpost
It’s about one in the morning when you sneak out of the room with gentle steps, making sure to not wake the one who sleeps on the armchair beside the bed, his soft little snores still heard until his presence disappears with the closed door.
The hallways are as silent as it was back in the room, the only thing heard is the sounds of your footsteps echoing through, and as you close your shawl closer to your body, you look around to make your way to the familiar steps that lead outside where the greenhouse stands.
The doors are left unlocked so you let yourself in and step through the glass doors, closing your eyes for a moment to breathe in the scent of the greens all around you.
It’s during lonely moments like this you feel your heart craving for some sort of familiarity. Not just the presence of your Reapers but for the presence of your manor itself.
For years you spent hating that place more than anything because that was where everything happened; where you were born, where you grew up, watching your mother hating you with every fiber left in her, chasing after your father’s attention, shedding tears on top of gentle shoulders, trapped behind the steel door of a white room, training, meeting good people, meeting bad people, everything.
Everything.
You can’t recall when the feeling of dread and disdain turned to eyes seeking for it, feet yearning to step back into it. Maybe it was the moment your father died, when the dynasty he worked so hard to build broke down into pieces like a house of cards, when you took over and made it into the home that it is now starting to feel like.
You returned to it after Leehyun, locking yourself in the comfort of your room, knowing that if you were to step outside, your Reapers would be right there with the smallest calling of their names. It served as your escape when it used to be the very reason you hated your existence.
The manor has become home and perhaps the only reason it’s able to be such a thing is because of what you’ve built it to be.
You want to escape, to return to it and simply hide in it and have no one bother you until you’re ready to step out yourself.
On the bench where Alexander sat this morning, you take your seat and close your eyes, trying to manipulate your mind into thinking you aren’t in Norway, that you’re back in Seoul, back at the manor, and not somewhere far, far away.
It’s exhausting doing this, your revenge plan. It’s exhausting having to put up a front, exhausting having to freeze up and recall unwanted memories that you wish could bury forever in the back of your mind.
But buried memories can’t always stay buried. They return, eventually, in time, whether you’re prepared or not.
You can’t tell how much time has passed but when you feel something against your feet accompanied by small little pants, you open your eyes to find the little puppy that accepted you from the moment he laid eyes on you.
You look down at him and he returns your gaze with a tilt in his head, tail wagging, and swirls about in a circle once before using his nose to poke at your leg again. He reminds you of the children at The Academy, how they’ve never been scared of you despite wanting to always push them away with your cold demeanor. It’s like Kiwi sees right through you, just like them, and in your silence, you pick up the small little thing to bring him onto your lap.
His tail wags a little more and when you run your hand through his fur, he gets a little more excited and affectionate.
Besides the children, there’s someone else you see in him.
“You remind me of someone,” you say as he nuzzles into the feeling of your palm. “Though unlike you, he wasn’t too fond of me in the beginning. It took some time for him to warm up but once he got to that point, he wouldn’t stop following me around.”
You fall silent again, thinking, remembering, reminiscing, and your fingers stop playing around with the little puppy on your lap.
The memories aren’t as hazy as they used to be, they’re a little clearer, a little closer to home. You can feel it in your heart when something feels like it’s just stabbed it, and in your stomach when you feel a little drop.
“I’m sorry for being selfish,” a voice whispers into your ear. “I’m sorry for only ever thinking about myself.”
But the thing about that is, you cannot be sorry for something that is within your nature, you cannot be sorry for wanting to put yourself first in a cruel, cruel world. When everything feels wrong, when the world feels like it’s always against you, when you do not know who to put your trust in.
If you were a little more mature and a little more brave, would you have been able to tell him the things you want to say now?
Things like; it wasn’t your fault. Things like; it’s alright, and you’re okay, and rest well.
Rest well, rest well, rest well.
You lean your head forward to the sky, gaze closed, as if hoping the things you spoke within your heart could be heard from him wherever he stays.
And as the silence continues, you feel your consciousness eventually slip away as your shoulders loosen their tensions with the feel of the little puppy resting well in your lap.
You didn’t realize it, that you had fallen asleep, but you know yourself waking when you feel a presence closing in and immediately opening your eyes to meet the old man who has a blanket hovered before you, his eyes falling a little surprised because he hadn’t expected you to wake up so easily.
“It’s good to put your guard down a little, you know,” Alexander says with a small chuckle as you accept the blanket to drape it behind you.
“I’ve learned my lesson with that,” you answer him and scoot over to the edge of the bench in order to make room for him.
He takes his seat beside you though leaves enough space in between and you’re thankful this man is observant. Kiwi’s awake but remains quiet and still, head resting against his paws with his tail swaying side to side.
“Do you have anyone you can trust in this world?” Alexander crosses a leg over the other and you look at your watch to see that it’s about four in the morning.
You managed to sleep in an unfamiliar place while knowing there weren’t any Reapers that could come to you at any second. How odd.
“There are always chances someone can stab you in the back.” Maybe the presence of Kiwi helped you. “It’s never a good idea to put your full trust in anyone.”
“You say that but one day you might come to know it feels rather nice putting unconditional faith in someone.”
You shake your head, brows furrowing. “Even if that someone has a good heart and good intentions, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”
There’s only been one person you know you can truly trust but he’s gone from this world, only ever being able to see him again when he wishes to visit you in your dreams. He’s the only person you’d ever allow to hurt you over and over again, even if it isn’t the real version of him.
Mister Butler can hate you and betray you but you’d let him do it again and again and maybe that’s because in your heart, you know those versions that the nightmares give you are simply from your own imagination and that he’d never truly come to hate you. He’s incapable of betraying your trust. Someone like him, who stayed by your side when he didn’t have to, isn’t a man who can have his heart easily swayed into hating you.
“Are you tired of betrayal?”
“I’m tired of everything,” you admit and he looks at you up and down, eyes narrowing slightly.
“And yet here you are, out in Norway.” Alexander knows a thing or two, he isn’t dumb, and you aren’t someone to think otherwise. He wouldn’t be in the position he is now if he was, and you don’t deny what he implies in his words. “You run straight into the very things that make you tired.”
“Because it is the only way I can feel alive.” You look on straight ahead before you, watching the pretty sky that pokes out from behind the plants of the greenhouse. “Otherwise I’d be in my room, rotting away. There is no purpose in running away, there is no purpose in leaving things be. My father did not leave this world for me to simply carry on as if he never existed.”
Some may take that as you carrying on your father’s legacy and whatever Alexander is thinking, you don’t care too much for it because all it matters is what you know. You didn’t kill your father just to stay silent for the rest of your life. His death was the beginning of everything.
Your turning point.
“And no one can stop a mind that’s already been made up.” Alexander nods, understanding, and doesn’t push for answers, but perhaps in the back of his mind, he’s a little curious about you and your goals and aspirations in this life. What drives you, what made you into the sort of person you are today, but Alexander is wise unlike many old men you’ve met throughout your life, so he doesn’t question things beyond your boundary.
And so he diverts the subject once again, turning it to the puppy in your lap.
“Perhaps you should adopt a pet of your own, to help you ease your mind a little,” he tells you with a fond gaze at Kiwi. “Humans can be quite disappointing, but a loyal pet will stay loyal for the rest of its life. Not to mention they’re the greatest comfort when someone needs it.”
Maybe that’s true. Maybe you should turn to a dog rather than humans in your time of need. Humans are disappointing creatures after all. But, “It’s too much of a hassle,” you say. “I can’t even take care of my own self properly, it’d be unwise of me to try and take care of another being.”
“...Is that so?”
It becomes a daily occurrence; the talks in the greenhouse, and soon you come to realize that Alexander isn’t one to let just anyone into his greenhouse. The doors that are usually locked during hours when one should be asleep are kept open, and perhaps that’s because he’s come to realize that you don’t sleep a lot, at least not in the house of a stranger, so he leaves them open for you to visit when you need your space.
And in the morning, around four or five AM when he awakens, he’ll come along and strike up a conversation and the two of you will speak about the things he brings up. Things like Seoul and of the Reaper gang, sometimes he’ll ask of Master Kitagawa, other times he’ll ask how far your skills go.
You speak to him in vague terms, careful not to tell him everything, but he comes to know that you were an only child, married once in an arranged marriage, but divorced. He doesn’t seem too surprised by that fact probably because everyone knows this happens all the time.
And in him knowing a little more about you, you come to know a little more about him as well.
Like when Kiwi came into his life and the fact that he’s had other pets throughout his lifetimes before but they’ve all died and left him.
You asked him why he continues adopting pets when he knows they don’t live as long as humans do, why he hurts himself over and over again, but he simply smiles and says that sometimes being able to love is better than being lonely. That it doesn’t matter how many times he has to watch them die and that he’d never regret loving them.
Alexander believes in reincarnation, that the souls of his first puppy dies and returns in the form of the other pets he’s had, so he’s never truly lonely, and something about that, believing in such a thing, though it sounds a bit absurd, is a little bit beautiful in its own way.
If you could believe Mister Butler died and returned through someone else, it’d be a nice delusion to live in, and despite the fact that there have been one or two guys that have reminded you of him, the truth is, no one can ever be Mister Butler.
Not Hoseok. Not Mingyu.
Because Mister Butler is like family. He was. 
Through your marriage with Namjoon, he was your older brother, but he always felt closer to a father figure to you, and perhaps that’s because your father was never there for you. Mingyu is closer to an older brother. A companion. A friend.
And Hoseok?
The one that got away.
The right person at the wrong time.
And because of that fact, you don’t allow yourself to be near him for too long, hence denying his companionship when Jungkook told you it’d probably be better if Hoseok were standing guard at your side rather than him.
It’s true, Hoseok would be better. You wouldn’t be as cautious towards him as you are of Jungkook, but it’s that exact reason that you cannot let him near.
You cannot let him shake your core, so you endure what you can and let Jungkook stay near you despite the constant reminder of what he did all those years ago.
It’s not entirely his fault but as you’ve said, it doesn’t hurt any less.
In your time getting closer to Alexander, he’s refused the appearance of Karl several times. Asher says if he has to, his grandfather will meet him elsewhere. Just not in the house. The guy has come to guess that you’re here because of Karl, and if he’s guessed it, maybe Alexander has too.
Though the old man never brings it up despite the plenty of chances during your greenhouse talks.
“Any progress?”
Dawn remains in the sky as ever and while Jungkook sleeps, you sit on the windowsill to take a call from the other side of the world. It’s a bit chilly to head out today so you stay indoors this time, making sure to keep your voice low.
“Plenty. It’s been quite peaceful these days, it feels a bit out of place.” Alexander’s kindness wasn’t something you expected the first day you walked into Norway. You expected things to be harder after meeting Asher but surprisingly, things are quite…easy, to say the least. “I have a feeling it won’t last too long.”
“No?” Namjoon sounds a little confused on his end. “Why do you say that? Should we come over earlier than planned?”
“No, don’t do that. Come as scheduled,” you say and look away from the window to the man who’s moved from sleeping on the armchair to the bed. It took some time to convince him initially but eventually Jungkook agreed to take the bed since you don’t really sleep anyway.
“You have something planned, don’t you?” There’s some suspicion in his voice and you want to laugh a little at how things are right now.
Who would have thought you’d be back on speaking terms with the man you thought you’d push away for good? But here he is, back and ready to give you his trust. You don’t know if he’s smart or stupid or both. Maybe there’s a bit of both, but it probably took some time for him to consider it, being as the whole thing was about his brother whom he loves very dearly.
Namjoon’s finally using his head.
Though you aren’t too sure if you like it so much.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”
“Y/N.”
“It’s nothing bad.”
“I don’t know if I can trust those words so easily. The last time you left the country, you disregarded your life just for that plan of yours.”
“Listen.” You roll your eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
There’s a pause on his end before he speaks again. “You didn’t assure me that you won’t do something reckless,” he notes and you internally click your tongue, “which means that feeling of the peace not lasting for long is you actively causing that to happen.” When you don’t respond, he goes on. “Will you stop being so secretive and let me know what you’re thinking? Maybe then you won’t be in the same position you were with Leehyun, and me and my boys and the Reapers will know how to help you.”
Well.
“You can’t keep hiding, Y/N. Stop being so reckless, you’re too reckless.”
“Watch me.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “That wasn’t a challenge.”
“No?”
Another sigh and he knows he can’t win. “Just…if you decide it’s better for me to go over sooner rather than later, let me know. I’ll be waiting. Right here, just a phone call away.”
“...Sure.”
You don’t think too much about it. You don’t want to think too much about it. 
So when the cloud gives way to the sun and it shines higher in the sky, you finally take up Karl’s request to have tea and catch up, deciding you shouldn’t keep running away from what you’re trying to face.
You have Yeonjun stay by your side this time, rather than Jungkook, in case Karl says something out of line and Jungkook will hear more things than you want him to. You stay in the garden of Alexander’s mansion, keeping a little distance away from the building itself, and with the feel of eyes from a window behind you, the conversation begins.
“I remember him,” Karl points at your escort when he takes his first sip of the tea. “Jun? Joon?” Yeonjun doesn’t make an effort to fix him and simply remains quiet. “Right, never one to talk but always by your side.” His eyes settle back on you, a small glint of mirth in them. “You have quite the loyal companion.”
“Yes..I do.” You ignore his gaze to take a sip of your own tea, keeping your replies short.
“I’m still a bit hurt you didn’t reach out to me about your father’s death. We were good friends, you knew that.”
Of course you did. “I apologize, it slipped my mind.”
“Slipped your mind?” He raises a brow, unconvinced. “Hmm…and here I thought, I left a good impression in those four months I stayed in Seoul.”
You did. 
You did indeed leave an impression that will last a lifetime.
“Maybe I should have tried harder?”
That mirth in his eyes. Again.
You want to punch him.
“How did he die though? The man I knew isn’t someone who would have easily died and he would have updated me about his health had he fallen ill.”
“He was betrayed,” you say, not batting an eye, and Karl puts his cup down after hearing that.
His eyes are blown out. “Your father? Betrayed? And he didn’t see that coming?”
“They were smart.”
“Even still..” He can’t believe it, though you don’t blame him too much. The father you both know is not someone who’s easily trusting of others, therefore he’s always right there to pick out someone who will betray him before they can execute their plan. 
That’s why it took so long to manipulate him into believing you were a daughter full on worshiping his ground without an ounce of betrayal in your veins. That’s why your masterful plan took so long. You had to convince your father into believing he had won in manipulating you to his side when all along, you had been waiting to stab him in the back. Facing a man like him, smart, calculating, a manipulating gaslighter who thinks the world centers around him requires more than just simple brains and planning.
It took years to execute your plans and even then you feel like you could have done better with everything. For one, not letting anyone see what had happened, aka Bangtan. But what’s done is done. Dwelling on past mistakes is just stupid and a waste of time.
“And what about you?” When Karl points the finger at you, his gaze narrows, brows slightly furrowed. “You’re his daughter, his perfect little doll. You didn’t see that someone was plotting your father’s death? Is it not your job to protect him?”
“That’s right,” you give him nothing to fight against, just simply accepting the accusations placed upon you. “I failed in protecting him. I am an incompetent daughter who should have done better.”
Karl stands up, running a hand through his hair. “Your father did all that he could for you and still, you–” 
When he looks at you again and meets the gaze you send him, his word stops mid-sentence. Your stare isn’t threatening, it isn’t a glare, nor one that is meant to scare him off, yet something in them lies a hidden threat either way, were he to continue speaking. Karl, seeing that, lets out a chuckle and he closes in on you, patting you on the shoulder before simply leaving his hand there.
You look at it for a second before giving him the attention he wants as he leans in, nose inches away from you.
“Your father created you into the weapon that you are today, my dear little Y/N, and you’ve even been trained under Kitagawa, so why is it that you failed to protect him? Huh? Tell me.”
From the corner of your eye, Yeonjun moves slightly closer, though he keeps his distance and doesn’t dare to make a move unless you instruct him otherwise.
The breath against your face, the touch of skin burning through the thin cloth of your dress, the sides of your knees meeting one another, back straightening up, heels rising from the ground, fingers intertwined into each other, sitting on your lap.
You keep your eyes open, meeting his gaze, but internally you’re counting in your head and holding your breath, hearing the beat of your heart that might as well rip through your rib cages and past the barrier of your skin to physically beat widely before Karl himself.
Maybe he hears it, maybe he can feel it, but whether he does or not, he has no will to move away from you and you know Karl, he isn’t dumb. He knows exactly the effect he has on you right now. He saw it, knows just how you felt all those weeks ago when you were in the living room and he touched you.
He knows and doesn’t care one bit.
Just as he was all those years ago.
They never change.
“What is it that you want from me, Karl?” He doesn’t fix you into calling him uncle this time. “Do you want me to repent on my knees and beg for forgiveness? My father’s already six feet underground, it’s not as if he’ll hear me now, but as his close friend, if you wish for me to do just that, I will. Just for you.”
There’s malice in his eyes, a scoff that leaves him when he watches you, and finally, he moves back. Just a little. “You’ve gotten quite bold, haven’t you? Now that your father isn’t here to teach you a lesson.”
“And if I have? What will you do about it?” You push back, leaning forward, challenging him despite your body screaming at you to run away. “Go ahead and do whatever you’d like with me, there’s no one here right now that can stop you. I can tell Yeonjun to pluck his eyes out right now and he’ll do just that. He won’t say a word and he won’t move unless I tell him otherwise.”
At the mention of the boy, Karl looks over between you and him, and then something in him lights up slightly as if he’d just remembered something. As if he’d just realized something.
“That’s right...what loyal companions…” He steps back, releasing your shoulder, and tilts his head back as he laughs obnoxiously. “Is this all about that little boy I messed with? Him?” The laugh rings a little louder, a little more crazed. “You pretend you’re so cold and have no feelings and yet here you are, chasing after me all the way from Seoul, just for a boy, the second you got the chance. If your father were still here, he wouldn’t have let that happen, but now that he’s gone…-”
He pauses again, and after hurling over laughing, stands back up straight again as the laugh dies all too abruptly. So you stand up from your seat, the corner of your lip curling over as you notice just why he’s gone silent.
By now the tea is slowly getting cold but you don’t care much for it as you stand tall, hands held together before you in a formal manner.
“The person who betrayed him…” His eyes narrow. “Who was it?”
“Oh uncle,” you mock that title, mirth in your eyes, “I think you know exactly where that answer lies.”
Danger.
Something screams danger when his gaze darkens in realization.
And yet you seem to only be attracted to danger as it is the only thing you’ve ever gotten used to seeing every day. The danger of being born as a mafia heir, married to a mafia powerhouse, spiraled into a hellhole you cannot ever seem to escape so you run towards it.
Directly into the fire.
Into the danger.
Provoking your enemies, knowing exactly just what their reactions will be, because danger seems to be the one thing in your life that will never leave and abandon you out of nowhere. The only thing you can forever trust to catch you were you to fall blindly into it.
And blindly you fall, trusting it to come.
And comes it goes, directly your way.
Never disappointing.
Never disappointing.
Namjoon called you reckless and for the first time in forever, you might have to agree with him. Because being reckless means not caring for the consequences to come after committing a rash action. The reckless ones do not care what happens to them, they live off adrenaline, they run towards the fire when everyone else runs away.
Towards the danger despite knowing there will always be a chance they may not survive. Unheeding, stubborn, thoughtless, careless, negligent, imprudent. Unwise, unwary, incautious, hasty.
A fool.
A fool.
A fool.
But misguided and left on their own. Lonely, abandoned, hurt, isolated, rejected, forsaken. An outcast and unloved, a disappointment and broken.
Broken.
A broken little soul whose heart lies empty with a hole pierced through the middle.
You are reckless. You are broken.
And broken things do not know how to save themselves, they only know the warmth of the fire. That is the only thing they can rely on.
So you stay within his vicinity, within Karl’s reach, watching, simply standing there, keeping still, as if keeping vigil. Like you’re just waiting, just expecting for something, anything, the inevitable, to happen. And when it comes in the form of a harsh, harsh slap across the face that has your body turning over to the side and having to hold onto the table to keep your balance, you can’t even say that you are surprised.
It feels like being in the presence of your father all over again, in the face of danger, of a manipulator, of a gaslighter, of an abuser.
He returns hard and so vividly in the form of anger, in the form of a ghost, a spirit whom you see standing right behind Karl. He stands as still as ever, hands held behind his back, simply watching.
Watching.
While you stand before him in front of a man he’s using to command orders over him. Using violence through others because father never raises his hands, father never puts in the effort or strength or power into physical forms. He does it through others, he commands through others, he hurts through others.
Watching until he’s satisfied.
But he’s never satisfied. He’s never satisfied.
And on your end, you can do nothing but accept it all willingly.
There is nothing else you can do, there is nothing else that can be done. It is like being in his presence all over again. Yeonjun, the Reapers behind you, standing still, told to not do a thing, to not move an inch, and your father behind the violence, keeping silent with a deadly gaze.
You return to the past.
You see him.
He’s right there.
And Karl raises his hand again.
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ohnoitstbskyen · 1 year
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On God of War and "canon" in Norse mythology
Playing God of War: Ragnarök and reading writing about it reminds me of something a lot of people have trouble internalizing about Norse myth, which is is that
The vast, overwhelming majority of Norse mythology is lost and
There is no "canon" in Norse mythology
The concept of "canon" in religion is, at least in the west, very much a Christian thing (yes, it's also a feature of other religions). The idea that there is an authorized, central, divinely ordained, "official" central set of facts which are true, and everything else is fanfiction at best or heresy at worst.
And this is something we've taken with us into our general media criticism, hundreds of thousands of words exchanged between people debating which parts of Star Wars or the MCU are canon, or endlessly cycling through interpretations of what parts of Tolkien's mythos apply to each part of the Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit. I've participated in those discussions, and they can be a lot of fun, but it's worth remembering that this is only one of multiple ways to approach writing and narrative.
Norse mythology has no canon. There is no set of texts that have been declared by any central authority to be "the truth" of the Allfather, or the most correct depiction of Thor. Even in its own time, before its suppression by Christianity, Viking-age sailors, farmers and warriors would not have understood their religious practise as bounded by a finite and defined set of stories. It was an oral tradition, transmitted by telling and re-telling.
Your skjald knows some stories of the gods, maybe the guy the next town over knows some different ones, and maybe you go on a trading journey with a guy from Norway who knows completely different stories and you take those home with you where they become a part of the local rotation.
The primary sources for most Norse mythology (and certainly for God of War: Ragnarök) are the Prose Edda and Poetic Edda, two collections of texts compiled in the 13th century in Iceland by Snorri Sturluson, a Christian poet and politician, as well as possibly other contributors at the same time.
They are limited by their geography, consisting only of those stories that survived in Iceland, and limited by their time period. The Viking Age is generally considered to have ended around 1050 CE, so Sturluson was compiling these stories two hundred years after the time when Norse paganism would have been the dominant religious practise in Scandinavia or indeed Iceland.
We have other sources than the Eddas, of course, but they are painfully limited: Runestones and archeological artifacts, as well as stories told about the Vikings by people who weren't them, which obviously comes with a lot of biases. The Viking-era Scandinavians themselves simply didn't leave any substantial body of written sources that survived.
Sturluson being a Christian, writing for Christian audiences, also introduces a lot of suspicion of tampering. He might have had incentive to avoid recording certain stories, for fear of being accused of spreading heresy, and he may have edited or altered aspects of the stories he did record to make them palatable to his audience, or to serve his own political purposes. This, of course, is a concern with any author writing anything ever, but since Sturluson is quite literally our only source for so many of these stories, it is impossible to check his work against competing narratives.
The consequence of all of this is that the vast majority of Norse mythology is lost. We do not know the vast majority of what that old religious practise was, we do not know the vast majority of its stories. This was a set of beliefs and stories told and transmitted across populations ranging from what is now the inland plains of Germany to the heights of the mountains of Norway to the shores and harbors of Denmark to parts of modern day Russia. These disparate populations would have had an absolutely enormous range of shared and local religious practises, they would have emphasized and cared about different gods, they would have absorbed and incorporated stories from neighboring religious groups.
This has a couple of consequences. For one thing, the whiny pissbabies crying about Angrboða being portrayed as a person of color in God of War: Ragnarök because "there were no black people in Norse mythology!" are, indeed, full of piss and expired baby oil. They don't know that, because nobody knows that.
Viking sailors made it as far as Constantinople and old Norse was once spoken in parts of Crimea. They even managed to make it across the goddamn Atlantic to found a settlement in Newfoundland, so the idea that old Norse peoples wouldn't know what a person of color is or tell stories about them is just absurd on the face of it. We have no direct evidence that they told stories about gods of color, but to look at the tiny snapshot provided by one Christian poet writing for a Christian audience in Iceland two hundred years after the Christianization of Scandinavia and confidently concluding that people of color couldn't possibly have existed in the Norse imagination is like finding the Q key off a keyboard lying on the ground and concluding there can be no such thing as vowels or the letter L.
The tiny sliver of Norse mythology that has survived to the modern day should to a modern reader be a prompt to imagine the vast possibility of what has been lost, not a reason to reduce the entire culture of my ancestors to whatever bits that were left by the time some dude in Iceland found it interesting and convenient to write them down.
Which leads us on to the other interesting consequence of the facts of Norse mythology.
It is an oral tradition, with no central canon and no central authority, whose religious practises were local and varied, whose stories were designed to be shared and picked up by whoever finds them compelling. Which means that any story we tell, now, about the gods that we find compelling is every bit as "canon" as anything that survives in the Eddas.
Which is to say: not canon at all, unless you decide to believe in it. Or, hell, even if you just find it enjoyable.
God of War: Ragnarök is as canon as Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology is as canon as Jul i Valhal that ran on Danish TV in 2005 is as canon as the MCU Thor, is as canon as the Prose Edda, is as canon as the half-remembered re-telling of Norse myth I heard from my Danish teacher in class in 1998.
It is often very difficult for a lot of modern audiences to free themselves from the idea of "canon." We seem to instinctively want a certain set of stories to be "the real ones," a certain narrative to be the "official" one, and set adrift without that sense of central authority to guide us, a lot of people exhibit what I would call an almost resentful anxiety. If none of it is definitely true, then what is even the point of any of it? If you can't know for sure which story is the most real, then all of it must be meaningless!
And yeah. It's easy to feel that way. We live in the Age of Canon, the era of the cinematic universe and the franchise, the epoch of copyright. But that is only one way to understand stories and narrative.
If you listen to the stories of the old gods, whether out of the Eddas or re-told in pop culture, and you take some of that with you, and you pass the good bits on to someone else, then you are participating in the oldest and most sacred tradition of Norse mythology. These stories do not belong to any one author (especially not the goddamn Mouse!) or even to any one people. They were telling stories of Thor along the rivers of Russia a thousand years ago, Viking sailors scratched their names in runes in the Hagia Sophia, Islamic artifacts have been found in Viking burials. Those who look at the tradition of my ancestors and feel compelled to do enclosure around them are fools and charlatans, fearful and small-minded.
Our stories are monopolized these days by capital. Canon to them is a tool of enclosure, a way to shut people out of participating in the modern mythology they are trying to build, except with their permission and profit in mind. But there is another way.
Listen to the stories and pass them on. The story you believe in won't be the one everyone likes, and the version you tell won't be the same version someone else passes on from you. But every telling takes the soul of the teller with it, and the stories we weave together in communal tradition become a picture of every storyteller who has contributed to them. And you spite the fucking Mouse.
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milaisreading · 1 month
Note
2p Axis and 2p Allies reaction to a guy giving Valentine's Day gifts to y/n before they had a chance?
🌱🩷: Here u go! Hope it is ok, and thank you for the request!
2p!Italy🇮🇹
2p!Italy: Bella, these are for you~
Yn, while looking at the flower bouquet: Thank you! I didn't expect you to care about Valentine's Day! These are really pretty
2p!Italy: You care about this holiday and so do I. Besides, I wanted to be the first one to give you the present.
Yn:Oh... uhm...
2p!Italy:What?
Yn: Well... Actually... Sweden already gave me a present so...
2p!Italy: Really?
Yn: Yeah- WHY DID YOU TAKE YOUR KNIFE OUT?!
2p!Germany🇩🇪
Yn: Thanks for the chocolate!
2p!Germany, all proud that she likes it: Nothing to thank me for. I heard from people you like this flavor.
Yn: Yep! It's one of my favorites, actually.
2p!Germany, confused as he thought she likes this one: One of? What's your favorite? I can get you that instead.
Yn: No need! Besides, Denmark already gave me that this morning.
2p!Germany: ... What? Wait, so someone already gave you a gift?
Yn: Yeah. This morning
2p!Germany:....
Yn: Why is your gun out?
2p!Japan🇯🇵
2p!Japan:...
Yn, worried as his glare intensifies and his grip on the present tightens: Are...are you ok?
2p!Japan:Yes.
Yn: You look constipated. Was it the food you ate earlier?
2p!Japan, embarrassed as he shoves the present into her hands: Just take this stupid gift?!
Yn: Thanks... *opens to see what's inside*
2p!Japan, trying to look like he doesn't give af: And?
Yn: Oh! This is a cute figurine! It will go well with the one Korea gave me!
2p!Japan:...
2p!Japan: When did he give it to you?
Yn: This morning.
2p!Japan: Ah... so someone already gave you a gift?
Yn: Yeah- where are you going?
2p!Japan: Out for a walk.
2p!America🇺🇸
2p!America: Hey there, dollface! Happy Valentine's Day! Here is your present.
Yn, jumping in surprise as she takes it: Thank you! The bear is cute!
2p!America, swinging his arm around her shoulder: Not as cute as you.
Yn, blushing:O-oh...
2p!America: Anyway, want to go and eat something?
Yn: No, I just ate with Norway
2p!America: Excuse me? What?
Yn: He took me out to lunch as a gift.
2p!America,thinking of all the ways to kill a country: Oh... lovely...
2p!France🇫🇷
2p!France: What is that?
Yn, looking at the small cake 2p!France was pointing at: Oh! This? It's a cake Finland made me for Valentine's Day! Want to try? He made it with my favorite flavor.
2p!France while tightening his grip on a gift he got her: Oh... And you accepted the gift just like that?
Yn, confused by the question: Yeah? We always give each other gifts.
2p!France: You gave him gifts as well?!
Yn: Yeah... Are you mad?
2p!France: Yes.
Yn: O-oh... I will put it away then...
2p!France: Please do.
2p!England🇬🇧
2p!England: Poppet! I made you my special cupcakes! Try them!
Yn, nervous as she remembers what his special cupcakes might have:I am not really hungry, so...
2p!England: They don't have anything bad in them, I swear!
Yn, slowly nodding her head as she takes them: O-Ok.
2p!England: I wanted to make this present special! Do you like them?
Yn, surprised they taste like real, normal cupcakes: Yeah... they remind me of the ones Switzerland got me this morning.
2p!England: What?
Yn: Switzerland gave me some as a present this morning *continues eating*
2p!England, thinking: I will turn him into literal Swiss cheese
2p!Russia🇷🇺
Yn: Thanks for the presents, Russia... Isn't this too much? *looks at the mountain of gifts*
2p!Russia, shakes his head while patting hers: Not really. In fact, there are more I need to give you.
Yn:?!
2p!Russia: Don't worry your pretty brain about it, but... Who gave you those flowers over there? *points at the tulips*
Yn: Oh! Netherlands gave me them as a gift this morning! They smell so good- Why are you taking the vase away?
2p!Russia: They have gone bad. I will get you better ones
Yn: What?
2p!China🇨🇳
Yn, admiring the Hello kitty plushie: This is so adorable! I never saw this one!
2p!China, while having a huge grin on his face: Well, it was a special I requested for you. Happy you like it.
Yn: Thanks! You didn't have to go through so much trouble for me.
2p!China: It was more trouble at all~
Yn: It will look great with that plushie Estonia gave me this morning
2p!China:...
2p!China: Someone gave you a present already?
Yn: Yep~
2p!China: Oh... Can you do me a favor?
Yn: Sure. What is it?
2p!China: Can you sleep with your window open for tonight? And put that plushie from Estonia as close as possible to the the window
Yn:...
Yn: What?
2p!Canada🇨🇦
2p!Canada, blushing as Yn thanks him for the chocolate: It's nothing. Just a small token of appreciation.
Yn: Still! Thank you for remembering me! I didn't expect gifts from both Iceland and you, to be honest.
2p!Canada: Oh, it's nothing. I am happy you like- What do you mean by Iceland?
Yn: Him and Mr. Puffin gave me those cute Valentine's Day cards. They are so adorable~
2p!Canada, agitated while she is smiling: Aha...
An hour later...
Yn, yelling from her room: My cards are gone!!
2p!Canada as he lights up a fire: How tragic
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hugheses · 2 months
Text
literally years ago i started transcribing this and then never got around to finishing it but finally did with some help from oomf. pls tell me if you notice any errors!
below the cut:
5-3-21
AJ: We are so excited to have Ellen Hughes hop on the bus with us today. So Ellen, welcome. And to give a little background, you grew up in Dallas, which, a long time ago before the Stars, there were not- it was not a hockey hotbed, as maybe it is now. Played a lot of sports. You ended up playing soccer, hockey and lacrosse, three sports at UNH, made it to the NCAA semifinal game in Lacrosse in 1987, inducted into the UNH Athletic Hall of Fame in 2012. You ultimately pursued a graduate degree at UNH, and while you did that, assistant coached for both the soccer and hockey teams. Ultimately, you made Team USA for the 1992 World Championship, where with Cammi you won a silver, named to the tournament All-Star Team. Two years later, at the Worlds in ‘94, you served as an ambassador to Norway's national team, went on into broadcasting. You were in the booth for when Cam and I won gold in 1998 with CBS and then a sideline reporter for the 1999 World Cup of soccer. Your husband, Jim, is a former hockey player and coach, has worked for the Maple Leafs organization. And of course, you are the uber matriarch, hockey mom of North America because you have three superstar sons. You've got Quinn, drafted number seven overall, plays D for Vancouver. You've got Jack, who is number one overall with the New Jersey Devils and of course, Luke, eligible for the draft this year. So welcome, Ellen. We can't wait to catch up with you.
Ellen: Thanks so much for having me. And thanks for the nice intro. I know, AJ, you see Jack here and there with the Islanders, could you remind him of some of those things, that I actually had a life? And Cammi, I know you've been nice enough to have Quinn over for dinner, not this year because of COVID, but maybe you could give him that whole intro again that, I did something other than just being their mother.
Cammi: Well, you know, it's funny. There is probably, I don't know what it was, maybe four or five months ago, you had sent me a video that you guys found, which we have to post on our social media channel here. But it was you as this little cute, blond, tiny little voice hockey player being interviewed in Texas, of all places, for hockey. Right? A woman, a female playing hockey, let alone kids playing hockey in Texas is so rare. Right? And I remember Quinn texting me and being like, said something about your skating, how bad it was. And I was like, little do all your kids know is that their talent comes from their mom. I've nothing—taking away nothing from Jimmy, because Jimmy was a great athlete himself. But you and Quinn play almost identical. And I'm going to keep reminding him of that.
Ellen: I love it. I love it. I usually get like just one word, dust[?] with things like that.
Cammi: Yeah, well, thank you for being here.
AJ: Yeah, yeah. But I want to start back with the fact that you grew up in a nontraditional hockey market. I know. According to USA Hockey, we’re not supposed to say that anymore because there are all—they don't really consider that anymore. There are so many with the Coyotes and the Stars and the two teams in Florida and Southern California. But when you grew up in Dallas, hockey was not a mainstream sport. I can imagine you had to have been playing on the boys team. Can you tell us what it was like growing up in Dallas then?
Ellen: Well, it's so funny because you see, you know, it's so exciting to see where the women's game has gone. And, you know, you forget how old you are and you kind of forget like, wow, that was pretty unusual what I was doing back then. And, you know, I'm even older than Cammi, so Cammi's older than you, AJ. Sorry to age you there, Cammi. But you forget that what we were doing in those times as young girls and how… you know, unusual it was, because we were fortunate enough to have parents that encouraged us and led us and pushed us and created those opportunities to play with the boys. And it's amazing to think that we did that and it seemed so normal to me. And my dad's been gone a long time, like he used to coach us. But I think about the fact that as a young girl in Dallas, Texas, a nontraditional market, to have a father that said, “Oh, you want to play hockey? Okay, you can play with the boys and you can go do those things.” And just how lucky I was to have a father that created those opportunities and supported those opportunities. And so it's pretty great. But we used to play down at the fairground. So, so people that know Dallas know that, you know, there's a fairgrounds downtown and the Cotton Bowl is played there every year. And there used to be a CHL team. So the old CHL. And so for us, it was very normal. I have an older brother that played and then went off to prep school and played at Deerfield Academy and then played Division three college hockey at Bowden. He could have played Division one, very academically oriented, and that's what he chose to do. So you want to do everything that your brother did. So when we were really little, we moved from St Louis to Dallas, and when I was in St Louis, all I wanted to do was play hockey. But in the state of Missouri, and I may have this factually not correct, but this is what my parents told me, that the girls weren’t allowed to play on boys’ teams in the state of Missouri. So when I knew I was moving, it was on my eighth birthday and my dad said, Well, it'd be great because you can play on- you can play hockey when you move to Dallas. So that's when I was so excited about the move. Like I could go play on a boys team because there was no girls’ teams to play on. And so there's only one team, if you're good enough, you play on the best team. And we would travel to St Louis, we would travel to Kansas City, we would travel to Colorado a couple of times a year and we would go play the best teams that we could possibly play. I just didn't understand at that point that was the world that I was living in, that that was unusual or different. So every once in a while I look back on it and think how fortunate I was to have parents that really not only supported it but encouraged it and let me really sow my own oats.
Cammi: When you were in St Louis, you saw the game of hockey around you. You wanted to play, you couldn't play. Did you play off ice then to be ready for when you moved and were like able to play or did you just start fresh when you moved to Texas?
Ellen: You know, I don't even remember. I was eight, so I don’t- I don't- it I must have been- I must have learned how to skate, but I wasn't playing. I don't really remember playing, like I remember running around the rinks with your brothers. I mean, you know how that is. You play mini sticks at the rinks, y’know. But I always wanted to play. I wanted to play everything. So, you know, I was just… and then off I went and I just started playing and I loved it. And I was fortunate because, you know, Cammi, you never went to Bob Johnson’s hockey school in Colorado, did you, in Aspen?
Cammi: No.
Ellen: I know, because I know you have a close relations with that whole Wisconsin crew. But every summer we spent the month of August in Aspen, and I would do the Bob Johnson Hockey School. So I actually think I did that like, at seven, before I ever moved, and they would always let me play. So it was Bob, it was Grant Standbrook, it was Jeff Sauer, all these people that, y’know, were so supportive of the women's game, Art Berglund who just passed away. And so I would spend my summers there playing and being groomed by the players that played with Tony at Wisconsin. It would have been their generation of players that were the camp counselors and that was right around the ‘84 men's Olympics. And a lot of those guys went on to play in that. So I think culturally that was exciting for me and that's where my passion grew.
Cammi: And you played soccer as a young girl as well.
Ellen: Yes. So soccer: really competitive. You know, we won youth nationals. And I was, I mean, it's crazy to think that I'm going to be 53 years old. And when I was being recruited to play women's soccer, there were 31 Division one schools across the country offering scholarships. And so Wisconsin was one of them. And I really wanted to go there because of my allegiance with that. But they had no women's hockey. So when we— [...]
Cammi: That's where I- me, too. I wanted to go as well. We would have been teammates instead of rivals.
Ellen: Right, at least for one year. I think you were a freshman my senior year. Is that right?
Cammi: Either junior or senior. Yeah. Yeah.
Ellen: [Laughs] So anyway, so the soccer side of things, you know, if you were an elite player, you wanted to go to UNC. My very best friend on the team growing up on my youth hockey, my youth soccer team was Carla Werden, you know her as Carla Overbeck, who became the captain of the team in the first World Cup team. Mia Hamm, I played with on my state team, so we were really good in those days. Brandi Chastain was my roommate at my first youth national team camp for soccer. So that was my, you know, generation of players. And I wasn't recruited by UNC, but I was recruited by some of the other top schools and I had this like, crossroads, where am I going to go to a school like UNH, where there are startup women's soccer programs, but yet I can play two sports. And they were offering me a full scholarship. And the crazy thing is there was no school in the state of Texas that was playing Division one Women's soccer. Think about that. Not a one. I mean, there was 31. I think there's 360 some odd schools, Division one programs at this rate for women's soccer. So that's how the landscape changed and that's how the lack of landscape really drove my next move.
Cammi: So you chose UNH. You played soccer and hockey, but then you also added lacrosse.
Ellen: Yeah. And the interesting thing about hockey is here I am, this girl coming out of Dallas and nobody knew about me. And as you know, Providence at the time, so all the Ivy Leagues were playing hockey and then we didn't have a lot of programs back then that were playing. So it was all the Ivy- it was the ECAC. So it was what, maybe 15 teams playing? How many, 22?
Cammi: Yeah, roughly 22.
Ellen: And so there weren't a lot of options. So there were so many girls playing that wanted to get on those teams. So I remember reaching out to Russ McCurdy who was the coach and saying, “You know, I'm being looked at by UNH for women's soccer, but I'm only coming there because I want to play women's hockey,” and he was like, “Oh, you know, you're probably not going to make the team. You know, we're a fully funded program.” I mean, you know how that goes, right? Right, right. Why would you take a girl out of Dallas you knew nothing about, playing in these, he asked if I was playing women's hockey at that time. And so I had- you know, I wasn't guaranteed a spot, but I'd watched them play, and my mom and dad watched them play. And I really, in my heart of hearts thought I'd be able to play. And they were a fully funded program and my scholarship was coming from soccer. And so, I decided that I wanted to do it. And he said, and I remember having Bob Johnson at the time call on my behalf. He called, he was at Wisconsin still, and he called and said, you know, she can play, she’s been with me every summer, and I really think you should give her a shot. So he said, okay. So the deal was, I was going to play soccer. Well all the women start with hockey, probably—when did we start, in the fall, like in mid-September. And they had the whole training camp, while I was still playing soccer until Thanksgiving. And so I said, when you get done with soccer, just come see me and I'll give you a week to try out, to get up to speed. So he really had no thought of me or like, there was no, like, ‘she's not making this team.’ So we finished soccer and then I went over to hockey and I remember after my first day he said, “What size states do you wear?” So that was like, that, that made me happy. Like that was it. I was on the team, so it was pretty good.
And then our women's soccer coach, Marge Anderson, was one of the most decorated women's lacrosse players in those days. She had played at UMass for soccer and hockey, and she was on the World Cup team for lacrosse. So she would take a couple of athletes a year because in those days you needed female athletes to play more than one sport, to really round out your depth of your programs. So she had encouraged me to come out and play lacrosse. I knew nothing about it. So our first year they had just won the national championship the year before, believe it or not. Did you guys know UNH won the National Women's Lacrosse championship? Different landscape in those days. So they had won the national championship. None of the Southern schools were playing. Nobody across the country was playing. It was a real Northeast-driven collegiate world. And so I walked onto this field and, um, let's just say… I wasn't very good. I could run, but my stick skills- and I learned and I did everything, and it was great, and we went to the Final Four, but I was out at that point. So everybody always says I played three sports like, I was on the team. I was, you know, three sports at that level. I was done at that point and I stuck with soccer and hockey after my first year. But it was a really cool experience.
AJ: Well, a kudos, too, by the way, to go back to something you just said, that McCurdy asked what size state you are. Kudos to UNH for giving you guys skates back in the 80s. I didn't get skates in college until my senior year, which was the fall of 1998. That was the first time I got skates bought for me. So that's, that's pretty good on UNH, I give the Wildcats props.
Cammi: Well, Ellen, you know what? So, Russ, I actually- I was. I was the same, a kid coming from Illinois. So, such a similar story where nobody wanted to talk to me really, until someone saw me play when I went out to the East Coast, I just played with a girls’ team for one game and I got seen by Providence. Other than that, I called Russ. Same thing. No interest, but I got to say, Russ, and I know what he meant to you, when I look at all the coaches that I've been coached with, he coached us at the — at the ‘92 World Championships where you were named best defenseman of that tournament. He taught me a lot, not about, not just about hockey, but just like how to organize yourself off life, how to make your bed every day. Like, there's things that stuck with me from Russ from that one or two, I think, seasons we had him. He was a special guy, you know. You know, I just— he never gets any recognition. He's very unknown. But did you remember that about him? Do you have that same sort of view of him that I do?
Ellen: Totally. And I'm still really tight with him and Sheila. And, you know, when you think about it, for what he did as a male player, you know, in that generation, he was a heck of a hockey player. And then, I don't know what he did, but he left the game and did something, you know, I'm not really sure what he did and came back to the game, but for his stature to come back and coach the women and do what he did, and he coached tennis as well, and he cared so much. He was so passionate about the game, and teaching the game, and teaching away from the game. And he cared so much about the people, you as a person. And I always laugh because, you know, Quinn had Donnie, you know, your brother, at the NTDP. And he reminds me a lot of Donnie. I don't know if you feel that way, but-
Cammi: I totally feel that way because as you say, first of all, from a mental standpoint, they're both like, they help you so much with the side, the mental side, and also the skill based stuff that Russ taught us. He goes beyond the game and I feel, yeah, it's really interesting that you say that because I can see that as well.
Ellen: And it's just the, you know, some people have their skills and then some people like, have different skill sets. And I feel that the best of the best try to cover all the different skill sets and really get to know the different human being and try to push the buttons. And it doesn't work for everybody. Not everybody would feel that way, but he was an amazing man and still is an amazing man. And I also think it's funny because one thing that, you know, I don't know how you are with the kids, but this sticks with me. And I don't know if you remember this, Cammi, but the interesting thing is, I've seen my boys be taught that same lesson from coaches at a younger level, and I can particularly say the NTDP level is: get up every day and make your bed. You've accomplished one thing. Do you remember that from him? And then it was either Donnie-
Cammi: No! Always.
Ellen: Or Wroblewski that I remember had Quinn and Brady, like, make your bed every day. And then I saw with, with Jack and Luke. Like, “we got to make our bed every day because that's orderly” and like, little things like that.
Cammi: Well, I got to say, Ellen, that stuck with me for— still to this day, I think of Russ when I make my bed. I'm not kidding. And I tell the kids the same, like if you just… and it resonated with me. So like, I don't know, it stayed with me. It resonated with me when he said it. And then his… just his stuff about practicing skill. And we hadn't really done that so much, as an, I guess where we were at Providence. Like we would just go practice, but like, he was working on skill-based stuff. He’s a very smart man. So I'm happy to hear that you're still in touch with him and you felt the same way. But I love that we're both making our bed because of Russ McCurdy. You taught your kids that.
AJ: I obviously didn't have Russ, I obviously didn't have Russ McCurdy, you can see behind me in my hotel room here. So I do not make my bed every day. And I know the value of it, but yeah, no, never had a coach who told me that.
Cammi: He was pretty special.
Ellen: Then. AJ, I was thinking about when you said about getting skates. I don't know how you guys were, but how would your shot be today? Like when I was playing, like, of course I couldn't shoot the puck because we would take the old men's sticks that were wooden and they would cut them down for us. Like, how would I have any flex on the stick?
AJ: Right? Right. So stiff. And it's like, it's crazy when you think about that, and the technology. And even when I did get a pair of skates, when I came back after the Olympics and played at Harvard, they were so much lighter. They were just… the material and everything, and then you look at the sticks and it's crazy. I mean, I never played with the one piece that they have now, that was just coming out when I was at the tail end of my career. But I remember I tried them, but the puck was all bouncy and I didn't like them. But you think about how quick the release and all the kick point on those sticks, that technology's insane.
Ellen: Right? You also think about how great the women are and where they're at. Like we didn't go in the weight room. We did not go in the weight room. The weight room was not for women's sports.
AJ: Our coach actually, my first year at Harvard before Katie Stone took over, he actually thought weightlifting was unbecoming for women. He didn't, he didn't book us. He wouldn't let us go in weight room. It was a, it was sort of an off limits thing. So he was a lovely man. But it was… not appropriate.
Cammi: Well, our Providence College coach, John Marchetti, who I love, I have always loved him as a coach. We had to beg him to just get us to get in shape. He thought women, that was just the way it was at the time. He was old fashioned and women would skate from the blue line in, so we would have half ice practices. And I was like, “We're out of shape. Like we got to skate!” “You guys don't need to skate full ice.” And it was literally all great intentions. Wonderful man. But that's what he felt. And I mean, think about that. Like I tried- it blows people away to think that that was the way it was. But that's how we were viewed as women. We can't exert ourselves the same way as men. And we were begging him to.
Ellen: Okay, now I know why we won, then. Why we beat you? Because we skated. [unintelligible]
Cammi: You didn't. You didn't beat me. Did you beat me when I was there?
Ellen: I don't know.
Cammi: We won. We won. I think we went the last year. You remember freshman year. I think you beat us in the finals. I think we[...]
Ellen: I think we met four years. Was just super cool, but I only — I was there five years. Much shorter. One year. But we went three years.
Cammi: Okay? We went three years. So we must have crossed over. And you beat us once? Yeah, you beat us. Let's get into the hockey mom stuff because I think a lot of moms are interested in the landscape of sport. Our kids that are passionate about anything. And it typically it's like, well, we know the sports world, but I mean, nowadays it's, it's everything. Like, whether it's music or some sort of non-sport, a passion that someone has. We're always trying to get our kids to pursue excellence. And AJ and I have talked a lot on this podcast, how sometimes things are flipped a little backwards and we're a little bit out of skew right now with the way we push our kids and just how fast they're put through the system. And you had three boys that you raised with Jimmy, who are now… two are NHL superstars. One's on his way. How, what was it like in your house? How did it start with the kids? What were you like as a mom and Jimmy as far as like, having, cultivating that for them?
Ellen: You know, it all seems like a blur. You know how that is, right? You're in the middle of it, both of you with young kids. So you're just day to day. I mean, you're day to day, right?
Cammi: Survival.
Ellen: Right? It's survival mode. So for me, you do things that you enjoy or you- you teach them things that you feel like you can teach them, Right. So it's kind of a slight on me that I wasn't more worldly and wanting to take them to museums. Or maybe like I felt like I had do those things because like, ‘Oh my God, what am I teaching them?’ But you tend to do the things that you - you're trying to find activities. Jimmy was off coaching a lot, I had three young boys that were really close in age. So what do I know? What can I do to pass time and keep them active? It was kicking a soccer ball. It was throwing a ball, it was doing rollerblading, it was passing the puck, it was taking them skating. So for me, those were mommy and me activities, right? And then every once in a while I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, ‘uh, we got to do Kumon, we gotta do like - we gotta read.’
You know, academics was really important to me because I felt like I was so driven the other way that like, I didn’t want to miss out on the other. So for us, it was never this grandiose plan, and I'm sure you guys were the same way. It was more like, ‘be the best at whatever it is you're doing, work your hardest at whatever it is you're doing.’ Working the hardest didn't mean scoring the most goals. It was playing the right way, whatever it is, being a great teammate and working really, really hard and we always felt like the other would come.
AJ: Do you feel like with your boys having you as a mom, Jim as a dad, did they feel pressure to perform on the rink?
Ellen: I don't think so, because we never put pressure on them. We would put pressure on them to work hard and play the right way. I mean, there were days I can remember with Quinn when we moved to Toronto, we were like “Ah, he’s doing pretty good, he’s a pretty good little hockey player. This is good.” Like, hmm. And we were coming from New Hampshire and Jimmy taking the job up in Toronto and we got there and I remember Jimmy going somewhere and he's like, “He is not even in the top 300 players in the city.” Do you know what I mean? Like he was, this thing was not—
Cammi: Was that what age? What age is that?
Ellen: He probably would have been… I'm trying to think when we moved. So Luke was born six, seven, eight, maybe? He was in first grade. What grade are you in first grade?
Cammi: Yeah, about seven or seven. Seven.
Ellen: And we thought he was doing great, but we never cared. What we would just say to him, like, and he was on a good little team and we would get beat by Ryan McLeod, who just played with Edmonton in and, and, Strome was on that team, Matty Strome, the youngest of the Stromes. And those two were like, I mean, I mean, they would score five, six, seven goals and I would be in awe how good they were at a little age - at a young age. So what we would do is we would just put them up against the best in the spring and in clinics and have them chase, try to be the best you can be. It was never like, “why aren't you that good” or “why are you scoring” or - and, you know, Jack was a little bit different. He came in and he was playing up a year with the older kids, you know. And Luke, we didn't even think about, like, third child, he's probably benefited the best because we were just trying to get the other two other places and we didn't even know how he played or what happened. And, and I think that was the other thing with them. You know, Jim was so busy working that we didn't watch ‘em practice. We didn't, you know, I might drop one at a the game and try to get to the other one to the game, to get to the other one to the game. So they had to self evaluate at a young age and really decide how they played. You know, you guys are probably the same way with your busy schedules.
AJ: Yeah, it's interesting. I look at it like I'm at the Nationals right now with my daughter Jamie, and talking to some of the parents last night and they were asking me like, what did you think of the game? And we were talking about it. But they don't watch far more than I do because I travel. So, you know, they're asking me, knowing that I have a hockey background. But it's to your point, I love coming to watch my kids play, but I really feel like I can just watch them and enjoy. I'm not coaching this year and it's a really- it is fascinating because I do feel like my kids have sort of they'll tell me how they played and, you know, usually they're tougher on themselves. I mean, I think most kids or most athletes are probably tougher on themselves anyway. But when- like as a hockey parent, I'm surrounded by people and you see all the studies about the low percentage of players that will make it from youth hockey to even D-1, let alone the NHL. You have three kids, three boys, two that are gone first round. Luke obviously is on his way to the NHL. So at what point did you think they were going to make it? Like, was there a time like you're talking about when Quinn was seven and you guys were just trying to have them compete? But was there a moment where you were like, wow, our - our kids are legit?
Ellen: You know, there was a point where I said, All right, this is good. Like, they're going to get to Division one college hockey. Like, I was pretty pumped. And at the end of the day, there's a point where you say you can only provide so much information and now they have to have their inner drive. Now that's gotta kick in. And I think for each one of them, that was when they got to the program. So for junior hockey, I guess, would be the equivalent. And I think it's the every day focusing on getting better, doing I mean, living it, eating it, not liking it, loving it. Y’know? And there's kids who get better from 18 to 20. There's, you know, you got to keep getting better. Doesn’t matter if you're the best at 16 or 15. So I saw my kids take different paths, you know, and just staying to have fun and having fun. Having fun is everything, as you know. You know, I mean, it's got to be fun. I mean, Cammi, you have two sons who are elite little soccer players, but if they're not having fun, that changes their drive for wanting to get better.
Cammi: Fully and if it's not cultivated as well, I mean, you have to have the right people above you and leading you and coaching you to believe in just playing and not just playing for- to be this best. There's a lot of pressure on kids these days and I think about your boys and knowing your boys and, and getting to know Quinn better since he's been out here as a person. Your kids are such great people. They're so well-balanced. They're such they get it. Like when they met Reese and Riley, my sons, they get it. They look kids in the eye. They joke around. They look adults in the eye. I mean, there's- they're just great kids. The other thing I noticed about them and and before I let you comment is when they play, when things are not going their way, they go straight ahead, like there's no pouting, there's no emotion. I mean, of course, we get emotional about the game, but as far as like, you know, what you taught them, like, where did that come from, that confidence and that humility and then that just that drive inside to just keep going?
Ellen: Well, you are awfully kind. And, you know, it's like, up and down. You know how parenting is right. And, you know, for me, it's the competitiveness. You both were uber competitive, Olympians, got to the highest level, accomplished so much, gold medals. So you know, that competitiveness. So you instill that in your children. You don't realize that you're doing it, but it just organically happens. Right? I'm sure. And AJ I see some of the fun things that you do, but I'm sure it's competitive at dinner, whether it's, you know, Boggle that you're playing or - I aged myself. But you know what I mean? Or Jenga that you're playing or if it’s a race, or- everything is a game at my house! Like, Luke and Quinn this summer. We had a lot of time together and they're creating a game out of nothing in the pool. We're like - Jack and I are looking at each other like, ‘What are those two doing?’ Like, it's games and there's a winner and there's a loser. So for me, I think it's more about they really care about winning. They really want to win. And in everything’s a team sport and they wanna - They take it personally. They want to be the best that they can be to help their team win. You know, whether it's giving something up and feeling bad about that and wanting to get it back. And that's probably the same mindset both of you had as Olympians. Is that fair to say? 
AJ: Yeah. I mean, I think that that is, you know, the ultimate drive to compete is something that I'm not sure can be cultivated. Right. I mean, I think you but what what is so impressive about your boys is that the balance that Cammi’s talking about. Right. That confidence and that drive to compete coupled with the humility and on seeing them being interviewed, seeing the way they carry themselves at a very young age, that that's what I think is, you know, you and Jim should be very, very proud of. But I do think that that drive to win and it's not win at all costs, but it's win whether it's the right way or as a part of the team. I think that that is something that can be very unique. And obviously they come from two very competitive elite athlete parents. So they were, they were given that at a young age. I was just reminded while you were- we were talking about Quinn, last year in the playoffs, do you remember getting a text from me Ellen, when I talked about in on the broadcast, I talked about Quinn, he was so relaxed playing the power play that it was like he was playing shinny hockey. S H I N N Y and I got blown up on Twitter that people thought I said he played S H I T T Y hockey. That I was like, ‘oh my God, the Hughes family hears me on NBC telling like’ and it was a compliment. I mean, it was like the utmost like, this is amazing how great he is that, you know, as a young player in the NHL playing with this sort of poise but also like freedom, he just plays with his freedom. And I'm sitting there thinking and my producer was like, “You can't use that term. That's such a hockey term.” Like, who doesn't know shinny hockey? But anyway, that was just so.
Ellen: So I laughed at that when I got your text and I think I wrote back like, “it's okay if you ever want to say he's saying the other - the S H hockey too.”
AJ: I would never say that.
Ellen: You know the game, you're allowed to say that and we would be just okay with it. We would probably agree with you.
Cammi: So when you're watching Ellen, when you get to watch your kids and I know I've texted you before, I'm like, I wonder if she's still up. But of course, you're watching the games when you're on the East Coast and you're watching them and  watching the West Coast games, probably late at night. Right, with Quinn. And... can you relax? Like, are you feeling like now? Like you can relax? Is it still, like, feel intense? Like, what's the feeling that you get as a mom? You know, I know Luke’s on his way, but like, do you get to see you get to enjoy it all? Do you get to sit back and enjoy it?
Ellen: Let me ask you this. When you watch Riley play and it's a big game and [unintelligible], how do you feel?
Cammi: So do you feel like at every game - do you feel like that every game?
Ellen: Well, your logic tells you it should change.
Cammi: Yeah. 
Ellen: But I think it's just your competitiveness. But I can tell you this. Now my oldest two are at a level where I don't get involved in the hockey anymore, I just really try to be a support system. They don't need to hear from me when they get to the next level. You don't know how many people are badgering them or bothering them or sending texts[?]. And you know, they got here because this point, they got here and they're driving their own business. They don't need to hear from me. Now, do they… Do they lean on Jimmy with hockey? Do I know a lot about hockey? But I just need to be a different support system for them. You know, I need to be an outlet for them and someone that's not going to talk about hockey unless it's something specific. Does that make sense? Like when I talked to Quinn today, it wasn’t about last night's game. It was about other things, you know, he's got enough of last-
Cammi: That makes sense.
Ellen: And he's got this - he doesn't need to hear from his mother, that that ship has sailed. Does that make sense? And I don't mean that in a negative st-
Cammi: Totally, because.
Ellen: It's just that's not what they need and, and that's not what I want to be that - be there for them. That type of support system.
AJ: I don't know how you got away without having one of them play goalie. I'm just going to leave it out there.
Ellen: Well, Luke. [...] Luke in net. and I was telling this to someone the other day, I mean, I got funny stories, like when you say, oh, you guys were great parents. I'm like, Oh, really? Like the time I showed up for this massive tournament with Jack and Jimmy's taken everybody's skates sharpened and I got everybody’s skate sharpened and he was off somewhere. I was going to meet him at the university. I'll tell you one story. So this is just typical. So their cousin was playing for B.C. and we wanted to go to a college game because we want to expose these kids that were growing up in Toronto to what college hockey was, so that that could be an option. So we took ‘em to see B.C. versus Michigan, their big cousin. We're driving down and Jack had this massive tournament, which we thought was massive as a you know, you always think these youth tournaments are massive and have grandiose importance, sorry, because you are at nationals and that is important with your daughter AJ. So Jimmy had said, I think Quinn was going to play in Michigan. And I said, okay, I'll bring the boys down I’ll get the skates sharpened and then Jack and I will leave after the game. We won't tell his coach that, like, we're getting into a hotel in London at one in the morning to drive around- around the lake to get to Buffalo for his 9 a.m. game. So I'm driving to Michigan first so he can see his cousins. And then whereas all the other parents are in Buffalo for that 9 a.m. game spending the night getting a good sleep right. Well I let him come watch his brother play. I left two hockey bags with Jim, of Luke's bag and Quinn's bag and I, Jack and I left after the game. We got into London at like one in the morning. We went to sleep. We got back up at six and off he goes for his game. When we get to Buffalo, I'm like, ‘This is great. I did it.’ And they're playing. I think they're playing Shattuck St Mary's and Oliver Wahlstrom is on the other team just to give you a few names. Right. So because he's an Islander, right AJ?
AJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had a goal last night.
Ellen: And it was a non parent coach. So you don't talk to these coaches. I don't think I had a conversation with them and they're young they’re- I don’t know Jack was an underager so he's playing up a year. And so the coach calls me. He's like, “ Umm... We've got a problem. Can you come back to the locker room?” So I go back to the locker room and he goes, “Ummm Luke skates are in Jack's bag.” You know what that means? Where are Jack’s skates? In Luke’s bag or God knows where, right? So I'm like, agh and they're like, “Where are Luke’s skates?” And like, I think he - I left his bag in Toronto. So at this point. So I look at Jack, I'm like, “What you want to do?” and he goes, “Find [buy?] me some skates.” and I'm like, “Okay, what size are your skates?” So I go around, I find the Chicago mission, and if he was in CCM some guy had a Bauer of a size four and a half or five or six or whatever he was in, and they're like, You can borrow these skates, but our game is offset from yours so you can only play until we need the skates back.
Cammi: Oh my God.
Ellen: Right?
AJ: I'm like, my stomach's dropping listening to this. I know.
Ellen: So he’s in these random skates and sorry to go off on a tangent here, but you saying you were great, You know, we do the same things that everybody else does. So it wasn't a completely tightly run ship. So. But maybe that's the adaptability. So Jack goes out and he plays two great periods, and all of a sudden I see this guy walk around and you see them take Jack's skates off. And this is a tight game and it's a big tournament. And he sits on the end of the bench with no skates for the third period. So here you are. We both have - we all have husbands. So Jimmy’s like, “How was the game?” I'm like, “He played great for two periods and let's just leave it at that.” He's like, I was. [unintelligible] But so anyway.
AJ: Yeah, I think that's building resilience. I think you're right. There is something to be in moment. It's- that's the worst feeling possible. But in retrospect, it's a great story, right? And it's one period of hockey that-
Ellen: [unintelligible] five like that running down the coach whenever Jack's hockey bag and his helmet was sideways like, I hope you guys have stories like that.
Cammi: Oh, man. You know what is funny is, those- that's just part of sport and part of the life where you have that happen. But I do as a kid, remembering, feeling like there was nothing more important. And I remember my brother Tony had just got his license. He was driving me over to a friend's house that was going to take me to an away game. It was about 45 minutes away. He went through a stop sign with just skated through a stop sign, hit the front of another car. I'm in the front seat. No seatbelt at that time. Right. And the first thing he goes, “You okay?” and the first thing I said is, “I'm not going to miss my game, am I?” And sure enough, we had to drive home. Somehow we got home. My mom is pregnant with my younger brother Joey, eight months pregnant, and I somehow cried my way into making my mom get in our trans van massive truck with Tony in the passenger seat, driving through snow to get me to the game, which I got there in the third period. But it was to me it was like, I know that feeling like it's- you cannot miss, you cannot. And I see with my kids too. So yeah, those are the best. Some of those are the best memories actually, right?
Ellen: I'll give you one.
AJ: We spent about five and a half hours driving down here to Philadelphia. My daughter, I think, checked nine times to make sure her stuff was in the bag because I had to. She was at school and I had to get it. She does not trust me at all. I'm like, okay, yeah, you just make sure you got two- a right and a left skate in there.
Ellen: I'll give you one last story. To just - to say, like, like here I am, a hockey mom, thinking I’m going to teach my kids to skate. So when Jimmy was coaching in Boston with Robbie Ftorek, I didn't have Luke yet, so Jack... Quinn must've been three. So I wanted to have some one-on-one time. You know, with your first child, you feel like you have your second child and you just need some one-on-one time. So there was free kindergarten skating at the Reading arena. And so we were living in.. in uh.. oh my god I can’t even remember - right around the corner from there. So anyway, so every Tuesday I would take Quinn to skate and that's how he learned to skate. Like it wasn't like I was teaching him strides, I was teaching him to skate. I was getting him on skates. So I was really proud of this kid. He’d gotten off his crates that he was pushing and blah, blah, blah, blah. And at that point Robbie's parents were still alive. Steve and Ruth and they were amazing. And we would go to the games and, and so they didn't live far from there. So they wanted to come watch little Quinn that they see at the Bruins games skate. And I was so proud that I’d taught this kid to skate y’know, he was standing up on his own, he was pushing, the whole bit. So Steve comes out who had taught Robbie how to skate and Robbie was a great skater and I'm like this particular day, Quinn is terrible. He must have been three. Like he just looked like he had two left feet. I’m like, “he's not skating like, I swear, like he could skate, like, something's not right.” And Steve goes, “Ellen, I think his skates are on the wrong feet.” And they were! Do you know how little skates are? Yeah. How would you know? Like [unintelligible]. So we laugh about that story. So, Quinn doesn't know. He can't communicate to tell me that his skates are on the wrong feet. We sit him down, like literally in the doorway. We switch his feet and off this kid goes. And he's pushing and like a little three year old and he's doing great. So that's one of my many [unintelligible] stories.
AJ: But just to make you feel better, I did that to my son Sam, when he was however old, probably five. We went skiing. It was ski boots on the wrong feet. He kept telling us his feet hurt. And we basically were like, You're fine. It's just ski boots they hurt. And the end of the day I was like, Oh yeah, no, they really hurt. That's actually a legitimate point. So been there!
Cammi: Before we wrap up here and get to our rapid fire, I just wanted to ask you about the couple of times where I've seen the boys play tog- Well they played together on the World Junior team and it was in Vancouver. Jack and Quinn played together. What was that like and what was it like when they played their first NHL game toge- against each other for the Jersey Devils and for the Vancouver Canucks? Can you take us through those two times and what it felt like?
Ellen: Yeah, that's great. I mean, the- we had the fortune of them playing together at the World Junior Showcase up in Kamloops the summer before, leading up, kind of the tryouts. So I think that was my first experience. It was great. It was great. Really competitive. They played together. They were on the same PP that was a ton of fun. They were on the ice together a lot. Then the World Juniors that- in Vancouver, that was great too. But Jack was injured, so he was kind of in and out of the lineup, but it was just really great for them to be able to, as- they're so tight, they're best of friends, all three of them. So I think it was more letting them have that experience together and you know, you're disappointed for them in the way that the outcome was because they were so close to winning a gold medal. But it was super cool. It was a lot of fun. And then when they played against each other it was super special, I think for our family, just because it was the first time we got to share something like that with our whole family, we had a huge crew there. The Devils were nice enough, they were amazing. They had a box there and we were able to have all Jim's extended family there from the Northeast, which is a huge group of people. And Jack happened to score his first goal that night. So that was a relief and great and exciting. And then the next time they played together Cammi we went with you. You had the boys and Ray, and that was a great game, too, right? That was a lot of fun. I think the biggest thing is I like it better when they're not on the ice at the same time, especially with one being a D and one being a forward. I prefer, and it's hard to watch them. I don't know who you guys are, but AJ, your daughter right now at Nationals, is a stay at home defenseman so you watch all the D and you have a good feeling. It's really hard to watch two positions let alone two teams play.
AJ: I agree with that when I think about what you're, what you went through, with that and it's not even allegiance of which team you want to win. It's more what they're doing individually and you can't focus. I think that must have been so cool. Was there added pressure on the boys? Did you notice any nerves that night playing against each other?
Ellen: No, but I don't know what kind of side bets there were. Like. I'm going to need [unintelligible] Haha I could have used a girl so I could get a little more information, a daughter y’know they’re a little more forthcoming. I think it was exciting. They were both very young. I mean, it's crazy to think they entered their rookie year together. I think as they, y’know, hopefully have a really long, sustained career. That's your greatest hope for all of these players that play in the professional sports is to be able to stay healthy and have a long, sustained careers. So I think as they age and- it'll be more and more fun to watch it evolve.
AJ: Now we're talking about Quinn and Jack. Is there. Do you think that there's added pressure on Luke right now because of the successes that his brothers have had?
Ellen: You know, it's funny because I always worried about that with Luke, like, you know, as a parent, you know, I want them to all be successful in their own right. I want them all to have their own passion. I want them to care about school and do well in school and so, you know, you're always like, which one needs what someone will, you know, whatever it is you want to try to support them. And so Luke was really small for a while and he was playing against kids that had already hit puberty. And- and you know, I know you dealt with that Cammi with Riley and then he took off and he blew them like his whole game was a new you know, as soon as that- the playing field was evened. And that's a hard thing to try to nurture them through, you know, like, “just keep going” and “it's okay,” and “you’re gonna have your man strength,” and “you’re gonna have more separation speed because of that,” so Luke was really young and I mean, it took him a while before he grew. And so I wondered in my heart, like, is there pressure on him? Does he feel bad about himself? Like, I didn't know, you know what I mean? So then he made the program, which he just kind of started to take off.
Never in a million years did I think he was going to be 6’2” like you could’ve- I would never. I mean, he was who would have thought he was going to tower over his brothers? He was so late. So we used to talk to him about it, you know, and I used to try to ask, but it's hard to get information. But he drove his own bus and he had his own inner desires and his own inner strengths. And it never seemed to faze him or bother him, which, you know, was- we tried to communicate about it like you guys would as parents.
Cammi: It's so wonderful. I just love your whole family. I love everything you guys have instilled in your boys. I love watching them. We're such you know, we've grown so much closer. We get to see each other more often. And I just yeah, I commend you and totally appreciate all the insight that you've given us today. We've kept you a long time on, but we have our not so rapid, rapid fire, if you don't mind answering some rapid fire questions you can answer ‘em slow or fast. It's up to you. AJ and I seem to go the slow way sometimes with our long questions. But let's put you in the hot seat.
AJ: So, yeah, this means you're coming to the front of the bus. So I don't know if that in the bus or trips that you went on that meant you were in trouble. But I'll say that just.
Ellen: Time out before you go. Where were you guys on the bus?
Cammi: I was in the back on the right, about maybe three seats from the bathroom, two or three seats from the bathroom, and  AJ was up front.
AJ: I was more like middle, but on the other side. So it was like.
Cammi: You were like two rows ahead. Yeah. Yeah, where were you?
Ellen: Cammi. I think I was right where you were.
Cammi: Yeah. Okay
AJ: Not quite far enough back for, like, all the crazy card games and everything like that, right? That was always our bus. There was a lot of shenanigans in the way back of the bus. Actually maybe our rapid fire should be called Go to the back of the bus. That might be a little I don't know, might be a little different. All right. So here we go. Let's start. What is your favorite youth hockey, or any sports since you played a lot of sports, memory?
Ellen: Probably winning the national championship with the Dallas Sting in soccer, which still today is one of the premier club teams in the country. 
AJ: Oh, that's a good one. How old were you?
Ellen: I was probably 15. And then one other thing is we went to China when I was 15. That was a pretty cool experience. Before women's soccer had a national team and they were playing, they were having their first international tournament. And since we had won the club championship they sent us, which is amazing to think they sent a bunch of women to China to play in an international tournament. You know. 
AJ: That’s very cool.
Cammi: How’d you guys do?
Ellen: We won it.
Cammi: You're kidding.
Ellen: There's actually someone that's trying to, I just get the emails, that’s trying to make a movie about it, because it's pretty unheard of.
Cammi: It's amazing.
AJ: That is amazing. So we didn't really get into this. The one thing we were carrying our time up for is that you had the good fortune of having all of your boys home during COVID. Maybe a silver lining to what was going on in the world. Everybody got to be back under one roof. But when everyone's home, what's your go to family dinner?
Ellen: Oh, our go to family dinners, steak. They are all about steak. So steak and pesto pasta with a spinach salad is the go to. They would eat steak every night.
AJ: Oh, that sounds good.
Ellen: Cammi, Quinn’s cooking [?]. Believe it or not, [unintelligible]. When they're allowed to go places next year in Vancouver over you and Ray should-
Cammi: I can keep him honest for that?. Yeah, I know I will definitely. If I know that now. What is he cooking in these?
Ellen: Cooking steak and lots of he cooks some, tuna ahi tuna and lots of peppers and veggies and that's a good thing about COVID. Is that most of these young kids have learned to cook, which is amazing.
AJ: That is amazing. That's actually that is another- that's a good silver lining. I know. Speaking of your three boys, Quinn, Jack and Luke, which one was most mischievous as a kid.
Ellen: And I mean, you know how it is, it's a three month cycle like, just like one needs your attention more than the other when they were little. But um… Quinn and Jack together? This is not rapid fire, but I can remember when they were really level and I don't know. And I've already taken up too much of your time. But I remember Jimmy had taken off to Toronto and, oh no, then he must have been littler than this and Jimmy and I, Luke was just born, maybe six months old, and we heard this rustling. You know, you have that in the baby room, on the other room. And I don't know if this has happened to either one of you. And I'm like, it was like six in the morning. You're trying to get sleep, and I heard something. I mean, “Jimmy, what is that?” You know, So we listen to the voice and they had this grandiose idea that they were going to throw the baby out of the crib, Jack was inside the crib, picking up Luke to hand him off to Luke- to Quinn, who wasn't big enough, it was going tobe a  drop outside the crib. So let's just leave with that. Right?
Cammi: How old were they? How old were they when that happened?
Ellen: Luke was under one because he couldn't get out, right? I mean, it was not a great plan. Then. Thankfully, we rescued them.
Cammi: So if you would have had that nanny cams that are the baby cams, that would have been brilliant to have that on video.
Ellen: Right.
AJ: Good. Some Hughes boy mischief. I like it. Now, of the three, who is the most competitive?
Ellen: Probably, I don't, I can't.
Cammi: Can’t choose, you’re a mom.
AJ: Yeah no I actually we were just talking about the drive to win and everything. I understand that. But it's all three, I guess. Now we you, you mentioned being nervous still, when you watch your boys play, what can you remember being the most nervous you've ever been as a sports parent?
Ellen: Mmm that's a tough one. Probably for me, it's not about the kids. It was more about the team. So, you know, having your kids go through the NTDP you want them to win these big tournaments. So you’re nervous for the group because you want so well, they're representing their country so the World Championships, the World Juniors, I mean, Cammie, you've sat with me and seen me between periods at the World Juniors, so that might be a fair one you can attest to, like, you're like, Really? You probably walk away from meeting with the boys between periods and me. Like, she's a little wacky over there. I don't know.
Cammi: Oh, they love you.
Ellen: You're stressed. Not for your kids. You're stressed for the team in your country. And you want so well, you want them to win! Their competitive side and they're tight. And you’re just on the edge of your seat. More like a fan, I would say, than a mother. So much too. Is that fair to say?
AJ: Yeah. Did you ever coach any of them? 
Ellen: Yeah,
AJ: I think they're so close in age. You. Oh, you did?
Ellen: Yeah. So I coached them in soccer. I coached them in lacrosse, but they played box lacrosse. I didn't coach them in hockey. They would do a lot of spring hockey. What I would do is get on the I would just buy outdoor ice like and I would run the skates. But when I say I would run the skates is, I would get out of the way. I would turn the nets. Three on three, three on three, three on three, no direction, just let them. And then it was more, you know, just playing, like the environment, the competitors setting up the competitive- competitive mini games. So that type of stuff as extras.
AJ: The last question we have for you is what advice would you have to hockey parents out there or what kind of motto did you guys, would you say you followed?
Ellen: You know, who gave us really good advice, especially as they got older were Keith and Chantal Tkachuk. They were amazing role models for us. Quinn was fortunate enough to live with them and, and Keith always. They always said it, just be a great teammate, be a great human being, great- be a great person and work hard, be one of the hardest working. Get out there and have fun. You know, I know it's easy to say, but there's so many great things you can do in this life. There's so many greater things you can do in this life. You know, you find your passion, find lots of passions and be you and follow your heart in whatever it is that your [passion is like, live it, eat it, drink it and be it. I mean, I think those are the same advice that both of you as past Olympians give your own children.
Cammi: That's wonderful.
AJ: That is, that's awesome. And you are so awesome. I love hearing the sort of inside scoop from the first family of hockey, the Hughes family, and everybody's favorite hockey mom, Ellen Hughes. But at the same time, I love also taking that little walk down memory lane to make sure everybody remembers what a stud you are.
Ellen: Well, I so appreciate it. And I'm having so much fun listening to you two on your podcast. It's amazing what you're doing. I think you're amazing human beings. You both know how I feel about you and my admiration for what you've done for the women's game and what you're still doing in the game of hockey is so cool and you're both trailblazers. And I love this podcast and I love the guests that you have on. I take myself out of that like I don't fit in the realm of guests. 
AJ: Yes, yes you do. 
Ellen: I'm just saying that in the heart of hearts, I love the guests you've had on, and keep rocking it. You two are amazing and I'm lucky to have you as friends. And AJ, I laugh. I think about watching you at the Olympics and Cammi and I already had a relationship because we played together. And then I think about you today. And it's incredible.
AJ: And you are. I do remember you paved the way for us, but I do. I'm glad. I think you're buttering us up just in case I say, I will say anything negative about your sons on the ice, which so far I haven't had to because they're such superstars. But, you know, don't hold it against me if I do.
Ellen: You know, And then and hopefully things will get back to normal and we'll be traveling and I'll see you guys one day.
Cammi: Well, Ellen, thank you so much for being here. We were so happy you joined us and we'll have to have you on again at some point. And when the whole quarantine is over, well, I'll be looking forward to when you come to watch Quinn in Vancouver here.
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citrusses · 4 months
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January: 2023 Wrapped 🎁🍊
*some* of my favorite 2023 fics, by month they were published (or started to publish, or finished publishing, it's arbitrary bc i make the rules), plus some thoughts on what made these fics so special.
January | February | March | April, May, June | July | August | September | October | November | December
Chicken Shop Date by @sorrybutblog (T, 2K)
Draco and Harry sit down for an interview. Or is it a date?
This is such a fun premise and the Harry/Draco banter just sizzles. The atmosphere is so rich! 2K words of perfection that pack an outsized punch.
Close Behind by @oflights (M, 134K)
To rescue Draco from the Underworld, Harry has to look forward. Unfortunately, Draco has to look back.
A masterpiece that deconstructs every relationship in the HP universe and then rebuilds it, that does mind-boggling things with narrative structure, that stressed me out so badly I felt physically ill, that was so moving it left me bursting into tears for days after I read it, that had the funniest single line I've read in a fic maybe ever. So far reading this is the only time I've ever checked the tags on a fic for "happy ending" because I was so emotionally overwhelmed by it that I needed to know it would be ok in the end. I can't overstate how much I love this one.
For Lack of Wanting by @fluxweeed (E, 8K)
Over the last ten years, I’ve worked hard to become a better person. I hate being reminded of who I used to be. But Harry likes it when I’m mean.
A gorgeous, painful story that explores a kind of Harry/Draco dynamic that's not seen as often in fics (a SAD one), but is done exceptionally well here. It hurts so good!
Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58K)
Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend. Now all Draco has to do is convince him.
@the-sinking-ship regularly writes: my favorite kind of Draco, my favorite kind of romance/getting together AND my favorite kind of smut. This fic is all of those things.
Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor (E, 54K)
Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy. It's been ten years since they crossed paths, and Malfoy isn't exactly what Harry expected or remembered. For one thing, he wears a lot more hand-knits? When a sudden winter storm strands the pair, unable to use magic to rescue themselves, they take shelter in a one-room Norwegian hytte.
The hottest fic in the coldest setting, this one made me absolutely FERAL. The most evocative scenery, incredible characterization, and the perfect pacing building to an explosively sexy and tender relationship. Also I would read like, 100K more words on just the mittens and jumpers and scarves of this fic, which are not items of clothing I have cared much about in the past. It's just that every detail, down to the smallest, is incredible!
When It Returns by @academicdisasterfic (M, 8K)
‘You’re late, layabout,’ Malfoy drawled, pushing the whiskey over to him. ‘I’ll have you know that I am very busy maintaining a whole house and garden by myself now.’ ‘Oooh, the dead husband card. Before any alcohol. Is that a record?’ Harry's husband is dead, and Malfoy is the only one who gets it. Or, the one where they drink at a straight man pub, renovate a house, and learn how to find joy again.
January was a good month for feeling bad. It's another angsty one! This one is full of beautiful healing in the face of a loss that feels very real, Draco annoying Harry out of his grief spiral (but in a loving way?) and Harry being on the right side of almost too stubborn for it to work. I have read and reread this many times already!
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Your Strength
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Summary: After 2 losses in a row following a mediocre season, you become Kepa's source of strength when he finds he doesn't have any to spare.
Warning: Reminders of Chelsea's horrible game against Aston Villa, feelings of self doubt, slightly angsty but fluffy ending
Word Count: 1.1K
A/N: I don't wanna talk about Chelsea rn but at least Barcelona played my boy Pablo Torre
You and Kepa sat in silence as you drove the car back to your shared home. You knew there was nothing you could say that could make your boyfriend feel better.
Kepa hadn't had the easiest few years. Since his signing with Chelsea, he'd faced doubts, criticism, and negativity from all sorts of people. Even still, Kepa slowly rebuilt himself and it showed in his playing, regularly becoming a part of the starting XI and getting his first call up for the National Team in almost three years. His confidence was growing once more and he was becoming the player you knew he was always capable of being.
But just as quickly, things started to go downhill. Chelsea's season, quite frankly, had been shit. And although he'd managed a clean sheet against Norway in the European qualifiers, Spain lost to Scotland. 2-0. And tonight, Chelsea lost to Aston Villa. Another 2-0. It seemed like once again, the odds were against him, and he had no one to blame but himself.
"Do you wanna talk about it mi amor?" you asked as you parked the car in your driveway.
Kepa shook his head. He hadn't looked at you the whole ride, opting to stare out the window instead, afraid to see that you were disappointed in him too.
What Kepa didn't know was that he couldn't be more wrong. You'd always be proud of him regardless of whatever the outcome was. Tonight was no exception. He may not have kept a clean sheet, nor did he win the game, but he still went out there and gave it his all. And you were so proud of him.
You reached for his hand, which he gladly took in his. He intertwined your fingers, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb gently. He finally turned his head to look at you, trying his best to muster up a small smile. It broke your heart to see how upset he was.
"It's going to be okay Kepa. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, it will be," you said softly.
Kepa held your hand tighter before kissing the back of your hand in thanks.
"Let's go inside okay? That way you can shower before going to bed."
Kepa knew that he hadn't been the best throughout the past few games. He made mistakes that cost his team the game. He should've communicated better. He should've trusted his gut more instead of hesitating so much. He should've done this. He should've done that. His brain was on a constant loop of "You should've been better. If you were better, your team would've won. This is on you." After all, he was the goalkeeper and it was his job to prevent the other team from scoring.
Kepa barely registered that you'd led him into the shower. He didn't even flinch as the hot water hit his face. He only blinked, getting lost in his thoughts and self-doubt.
"Amor? I'm right here," you said as you hugged him from behind. "Stay with me right here, right now. I know you're hurting and I know you're blaming yourself. But you don't have to do that right now. Just focus on me and let me take care of you okay?"
He turned around, holding you close to him. Kepa was always touchy with you, but he especially needed your touch in moments like these. He didn't know how you did it, but you always found a way to bring him back when his mind wandered off. He closed his eyes, focusing on the way your touch made him feel. He reveled in the way your fingertips lightly scratched his scalp as you shampooed his hair. He shivered as you ran your hands all along his body, being as gentle as you possibly could. He lost himself in the sensations you gave him, allowing his mind to stop for a little while.
"Kep? I'm all done. You can get dressed now," you said while handing him a towel, turning the shower off.
Once the two of you were dressed, you led him under the covers of your bed. He laid his head on your chest, laying an arm around your stomach and intertwining your legs together. You ran your fingers through his hair and holding him close to you.
The tears slowly started to fall from Kepa's eyes as the events of the day starting to creep up on him once more. Kepa's silent tears quickly turned to sobbing, turning his head to further hide into your chest. You felt his arm tighten around you as he desperately tried to anchor himself. You kissed his head gently, allowing him to cry his stress and anguish away. Kepa needed this, and you just held him against your chest.
Eventually, the sobbing returned to quiet sniffles. Kepa's grip didn't let up, but you could feel his body loosen up ever so slightly. Even though words wouldn't take away his negative emotions, you hoped you could fill him with the love and strength you had for him.
"I know what you're probably thinking Kep. But no matter what, I'm here for you. I will always be here for you. A few bad games don't define you or your self worth. I'm sorry these past few games haven't gone the way you wanted. But you tried your best with what you were given and that's absolutely more than enough."
Kepa pulled you even closer to him. You stroked his hair as you continued.
"You'll bounce back from this, mi amor. I know you will. You've trained so hard for this and I know you put your heart and soul into what you do every time you step onto that field. So while it hurts now, I promise your hard work will pay off. And when it does, I'll be right there in the crowd to cheer you on. It's okay to feel hurt. It's okay to feel disappointed. But tomorrow is another day to restart and try again. So you don't have to be strong tonight if you don't want to Kepa. I've got you."
Kepa truly didn't know how he managed to get someone like you. You were always so patient with him, especially when he was at his lowest and didn't know what to do. You understood him like no one else, not even himself. While his head was full of nothing but disappointment, his heart was full of love, and it was all thanks to you. And he knew that no matter what happened, whether it was yesterday, today, or tomorrow, you'd always be there with him.
Kepa brought his hand to your cheek, allowing you to rest your forehead on his. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. The way he gently kissed you spoke to how grateful he was to have you in his life.
Taglist: @neverinadream @pulisicsgirl @masonspulisic @lovelynikol16​ @chelseagirl98​ @bracedes​ @lizzypotter14​ @notsoattractivearenti​ @thoseboysinblue​ @pianoisland​
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footywritingworks · 1 year
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Hurts so Good {Martin Ødegaard x fem!Reader}
Summary: Co-parenting your daughter with a footballer isn't always easy. Especially if there are still unresolved feelings lingering....
Wordcount: 1,5K
Warnings: angst, children, mentions of childbirth
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"No. She can't even walk yet."
"Please (Y/N). I'll carry her the whole time! I already talked to Mikel about it. And he likes the idea too. You know how special that would be for me."
Arguing with your ex-boyfriend wasn't how you had wanted to spend the time of you picking up your daughter from his house.
" Martin this isn't all about you. She's still so small. And you know how loud the Emirates gets. It would just hurt her ears and make her afraid. I don't think this is a good idea."
His sparkling blue eyes look down on you. A spitting image of those of your daughter. The eyes that were once your safe place. That were once filled with love, adoration and gentleness. Not anymore. But they still made your heart flutter just like they used to. You really needed to get yourself together.
A pleading look spread across his face and you knew he was starting to become desperate. He rarely pleaded for anything.
"She'll wear earmuffs as protection. Nothing will happen I promise. You can come along too if you want to make sure she's alright."
You can come along if you want. Not I want you to be there for me like it was before. Before everything had gone wrong. Before he had left and stomped on your heart.
You couldn't deny the hurtful tug on your heart his words had left. Tears started to well up in your eyes at the current situation. You needed to get out. Fast. But you needed to put yourself together just for a bit more. Avoiding his eyes was the way to go to not burst into tears.
"If it means that much to you to walk into the stadium with her then fine. But I'll take her as soon as you're done. It's my week anyways."
You didn't look up but you knew that a self satisfied smile graced his lips, his eyes shining bright like the ocean water on the first vacation you spent together. You stopped yourself from going even deeper into your memories.
"Amazing. Thank you. I'll give you tickets too so you can watch the game as well. Maybe catch up with some of the girls."
Giving him a tight smile and nodding you went into your daughters room in Martins house to pick her up. Your old home where you had wanted to watch her grow up together. All that a thing of the past.
Little Linnea cuddled into your neck when she was settled in your arms as you made your way outside and to your car. Martin had followed you when you were done strapping the little one in her seat.
"I'll text you all the details. See you on Saturday then?"
All you could manage again was a nod and you moved towards the drivers door, letting him say goodbye.
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Saturday came around quicker than you had imagined. Dressing up Linnea in her Arsenal kit with 'Papa' on the back made your heart hurt just that tiny bit. Looking at her now you were reminded just how much she looked like Martin. She had his crystal blue eyes and blond hair. Her dimpled smile looked just like the ones on Martins baby pictures his mum had shown you when you had visited his parents in Norway. Even her ability to laugh at every little thing reminded you of him. Everything about her did. It was as if you had given birth to Martins twin about a year ago.
But you were glad that she was. As much as your heart still hurt about losing Martin you were glad that your daughter had inherited all his good traits. She was that small wonderful part of him that you still had in your daily life.
The doorbell rang making Linnea look around curiously. You laughed and made your way to the door with her in your arms.
"This must be your Auntie Linn."
Just hearing the word Auntie made Linnea light up more. Her aunt, your best friend had been your safety net when you and Martin had broke up just a couple of weeks after Linnea was born. She had let you stay in her apartment with her and helped you take care care of your daughter. She had basically become a second mum in that time.
When Linnea saw her through the open door she already reached her arms out to get a cuddle.
"Oh hello little Linn. I missed you so so much. Mama has been keeping you all to herself hasn't she."
She peppered Linneas face with kisses which made a big belly laugh erupt from the little one. With you daughter still in her arms she made her way over to hug you.
"You still think this is a good Idea?"
When Martin had sent the information and tickets you had asked (Y/BF) to go with her. She wasn't happy with the reason why you were back at the Emirates but trusted you enough to make the right decisions for you and Linnea to not comment further on it.
She wasn't a massive fan of Martin after the breakup. He had broken your heart so he deserved to get his legs broken. Her words not yours. Your stroked Linneas cheek with the back of your hand.
“I think so yes. He took all the precautions and I trust him with her."
The topic was let go after your words. When it was finally time you made your way to the Emirates stadium. Linnea the ever curious girl that she was was looking out of the car windows to see all the people streaming into the stadium grounds.
The way to the locker rooms was still familiar to you. Having come here after every home game for years made the walk like you were on autopilot. You could see the players lining up already to get out to the stadium as Martin walked up to you with a huge smile on his face.
"Hello Kjæreste! Come to Papa."
Linnea also reached out her arms, wanting to be in his arms. He gave her kisses and held her close and you could see just how important this moment was for the two of them. He pulled the earmuffs over her little ears and turned back to you.
"Thank you for bringing her. Really. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."
For the first time in a long time you gave him a sincere smile. Seeing them matching in the same kit, in the stadium Martin called his home made your heart jump.
"Of course. Just be careful with her yeah?"
"Of course I will. You can go out after us and be next to the tunnel. For pictures and stuff. I'll get her back to you as soon as we're done."
You nodded and watched as Martin walked back to his team and led them out to the pitch with your smiling daughter in his arms. The crowd went wild but Linnea seemed to take it like a champ.
You followed with the staff and stood next to the tunnel and took pictures and videos of this moment. Something you knew you would hold dear in your heart forever. After the whole procedure had gone down Martin jogged to you and handed over your daughter.
"Meet me after the match, yeah?"
You nodded and started to make your way up to the family boxes. (Y/BF) was already up there waiting for you with some of the other WAGS and kids of the other players. Most of them knew you and (Y/BF) well and some of the game and halftime was spent chatting and catching up. And Linnea enjoyed all the kisses and cuddles she got from the WAGS you knew.
New women were in the box as well, probably the girlfriends and wives of the guys that transferred to Arsenal after you and Martin had broken up. But one in particular stood out to you.
She was blonde, tall and skinny. Absolutely gorgeous. She could be a model for all you cared. She looked to be about your age, maybe a bit younger. But you couldn't place her to any of the new players.
You stopped thinking about it when Bukayo scored the 1-0 for Arsenal, the stadium going crazy with happiness. But it didn't stop there. The game ended with 3-0 for Arsenal, leaving the team exhausted but happy.
You said your goodbyes to (Y/BF), reassuring her that you'd be fine and that she didn't have to wait for you and made your way down to the tunnels with the some of the girls and kids. You couldn't wait to see Martin and apparently so couldn't Linnea as she stared to wiggle around in your arms, impatient to see her Papa again. But it looked like someone had beat you to it.
As you walked into the tunnel with the girls you stopped in your tracks. And what you saw made all the happiness of today disappear with just a blink of an eye. Tears gathered in your eyes and your aching heart started to race as you took in the scene in front of you.
Martin kissing the blonde girl from earlier in the box just like he used to kiss you when you were together.
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operafantomet · 1 month
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I was asked in a PM how I would rate the different non-replica versions. Well. I have different level of knowledge about them. I have seen three of them live, I have seen a lot of full videos of other, while a handful haven't really interested me so I only know them through photos and short clips. And from that you can't make a fair ranking. But if stunting it - and also really assuming they all had equally great casts - I'd say something like this:
1. HUNGARY: I will always give this production props for being the first non-replica production, and a beautiful one. Very eerie and moody set design, and overall a colour scheme reminding of Maria Bjørnson's but with individual details. It was like looking at the Palais Garnier from another angle. My only main complain is that I like the costume sketches a lot more than then actual costumes. But first and foremost, MOODY. Yes.
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2. ROMANIA/NORWAY/GREECE/MIDDLE EAST: As such a bit difficult to rate it as a whole, as the Romanian production was a prototype massively pimped for the Norwegian premiere, and also slightly changed for the following productions. But if judging from the Norwegian production which I saw numerous times, it was all in, with the wildest chandelier crash, nice effects overall, a clear vision in the directing, and nice choreography. This too a take on the Palais Garnier which tried to find other angles and aspects than what Bjørnson did.
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3. ITALY / SPAIN / MEDITERRANEAN: Beautiful, creative and very Phantom-y. This too seems to reflect on the Palais Garnier, if a bit more abstracted than the ones above. Props for three equally strong leads, not merely in the acting but also directing.
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4. SYDNEY HARBOUR, AUSTRALIA: Humongous outdoor set! The same hint of fragmenter grander pieces as Bjørnson did so well. Colourful, an abundance of details, drapes, ideas. Flames! Floating gondolas! And a performance that went on regardless of massive rainstorms. With a backdrop of the evening sky and the Sydney Opera House. Gotta love it all.
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5. POLAND: I like it more now than when it first premiered. I was disappointed it stuck so close to the 2004 movie, in terms of direcing, costume design and tweaks (the sword fight in the Mausoleum scene, for example). But I do appreciate the set design a lot, and the production also feature a kick-ass chandelier crash. Here for it!
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6. KRISTIANSTAD, SWEDEN: A thoroughly original production, utilizing the small-ish stage to full effect. I was impressed by how much they made out of little, and how different it appeared life compared to photos. Even if the sets were clever, the golden moments of this production was in the smaller details, I felt. And I loved it.
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7. CZECH REPUBLIC: Colourful, loud and brassy design, and one functioning inside a pyramide shaped theatre. Fascinating, if a bit... wobbly. But passionate.
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8. RESTAGED TOUR: I mean, Maria Bjørnson's costumes (plus/minus). And very professionally executed. Some clever ideas for the staging and directing, and I do enjoy the overall idea of the drum set. But I don't think the busy sets and the ornate costumes is a good match. I wish they'd made a brand new costume design more suited for the sets. I also have massive issues with the portrayals of the Phantom, Christine and Raoul, both separately and their dynamics. In total a love/hate relationship.
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9. ESTONIA: Another thoroughly original production, set between WW1 and WW2, with a local spin, an eternal winter, and a costume design reflecting on Vivienne Westwood and 1990s couture in general. The set design is angled, featuring a stage-on-stage in the back, and boxes at the sides. I like this production more on an intellectual level than really feeling it.
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10. NEW ROMANIAN PRODUCTION: Rich AI based look, but oh! So crowded. I enjoy seeing a scene here and there, but seeing several is like eating a whole bag of candy: too much. I do however enjoy it in smaller portions, and I want to give props for being the first to do AI design in Phantom land.
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11. FINLAND/SWEDEN: Some of the sets are awesome. But the overall staging feels so alien, and the 1980s costumes and the Phantom's gold mask is killing me. I can't. Kudos for huge opera orchestra, though!
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12. BULGARIA: Too print and projection heavy for my liking, some LEGO like set pieces (including the chandelier and monkey musical box) and a costume design I'm understand very little of. This one just ain't for me and that is OK.
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13. SERBIA: Oh Serbia. I don't understand you. I don't understand your vibe, your 1990s costume design, your bridge-and-cube set design. I... can't.
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(and this is of course a highly subjective ranking based on my preferences and my limited knowledge of ome of the productions - it might change if I see more of them live later on)
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justabirdy · 2 months
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Nature Journaling - Girdled Tree
Originally posted on my work website but I wanted to share it here too.
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Whenever I’m leading a hike or even just talking with visitors in the nature center, there are always a few questions I find myself answering frequently enough that they stick in my mind. So, during a chilly hike through the fresh snow a few days ago, I stumbled upon the cause of one of these often asked questions: “Why is there a ring cut into some of the trees throughout the forest?”
To me this is the kind of question that begs for an entry in my nature journal, it’s the perfect subject o spark curiosity, make careful observations, and in this case, follow up with answers. But as much as I enjoy nature journaling outdoors, a growing cold breeze reminded me I could finish the project in the office, so I took some photos, made some notes about what I could see or feel and go to work in the warmth of the Nature Center.
Journaling About an Odd Tree
But my eyes, and fingers, are drawn to the sap, frozen by the temperature, mid-drip down the side of the tree in off-white streaks. In warmer months, I’ve touched it and pulled away sticky fingers, but now, the sap is solid, a little flaky, and cemented to the bark of the tree. I can’t help but think about maple syrup and wonder, how cold does sap need to be to freeze?
So many questions, thoughts, and ideas pop into my mind every time I see these trees. And while I could go on for pages about all three topics, I think I’d like to these observations to answer the question posed earlier: “Why is there a ring cut into some of the trees throughout the forest?”
What Makes This Tree Different?
To start, let’s take a moment to identify the tree itself. The trees on our trail system that are subject to this odd process are Norway Spruces, they make up a large portion of the forest just beyond the parking lot and along the trail to our bridges. These evergreens can grow quickly, reaching a height of 60 feet tall in a short twenty years. In its native European habitat, it can even grow to be 150 feet tall!
These trees being so far from their native habitat is part of the reason you might find a cut ring on the trunk. Nonnative trees like this are great for creating quick forests where there was once only agricultural field, but ideally, we want to restore the forest to native species like White pine, Hemlock, Black spruce, and other species. So as new native trees get planted, old Norway spruces get chopped down or have ring cut in them.
This process, called girdling, effectively kills the tree by removing the protective bark and the cambium layer. The bark protects the tree from sickness, fires, impacts and more while the cambium layer is responsible for creating new growth of the tree and passing nutrients between the roots and the canopy of the tree.
Without the protective bark or the cambium pathways for nutrients to travel, the tree will starve. The sap dripping down the trunk can no longer make it to the canopy high above. But it begs the question, “why not just cut the tree down?
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Girdled to Make a Healthier Forest
If we wanted to just remove the trees, cutting them down would be best, but girdling some of the trees and leaving them purposely creates standing dead trees which provide essential forest habitat for a wide variety of species including mammals, birds, insects, and even amphibians. Research done on “Attributes of Standing Dead Trees in Forests” indicates that on average, healthy forests in the United States tend to have 11 standing live trees for every standing dead one. By girdling a few trees, we are purposefully creating habitat that better aligns with other healthy forests.
So, the next time you hike on a managed trail system and find a girdled tree, pause a moment and try to identify the cambium layer, the state of the sap and what animals might decide to make a home in it. These trees may look odd, but they have an important role to play in our forest habitats.
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c0la-queen · 13 days
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Heya, I just sort of stumbled across your blog and I’m genuinely so impressed by how good your writing is! I ended up binge reading a bunch of your works lol. I was wondering if I could request something for Eddsworld? Honestly, your last Tord piece has been stuck in my mind so I was thinking of a situation where the reader is either uncomfortable because of some other guy or even something more dangerous like being followed and Tord ends up being involved. I know it’s really cliche but I’m interested in how he would handle it and what he would prioritise first. Obviously, I know you’re gonna be busy for a while so don’t feel pressured to get this done soon or at all if you don’t feel up to it. Hope you have a wonderful day/night ❤️
HIII OMG reading this made me so giddy!! I had free time this weekend and your request got my neurons firing so I HAD to write a piece for this right away!!! Thank you so much for your sweet words, and I hope you enjoy it! Mwah mwah!
Scary Dog Privilege | Tord x Reader
Warnings: Creepy incel guy, heavy misogyny, homophobia if you squint, I cringed writing this guy, Tord makes a threat
Words: ~1.9k
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The windows were down on Tord's car, letting the breeze in. It whipped your hair around, sometimes blowing a few strands into your face. It only made you giggle. A huff to your right drew your attention to the driver's side. Tord had one hand on the wheel, his other arm rested on the windowsill. His vape was in his hand.
"What are you laughing about over there?"
He blew a cloud out of the window before answering you.
"You're being silly. It's cute."
You settled back in your seat as you came to a stop at a red light. Without the rumble of the engine, the music playing from the speaker floated out into the town around you. You glanced at the display screen on the radio. fuK u lol by CORPSE. Your head bobbed as you took in the sights of the town. There was an older couple in the lane beside you. The woman seemed to be eyeing you suspiciously. It didn't bother you, though. You looked down, smoothing down the fabric of your outfit. White skirt, black tights, strawberry cardigan, and pink converse. Heart shaped earrings danged from your ears, and a matching heart shaped purse was at your feet. You felt cute and happy. Tord had, at least, put on a different outfit for your date, rather than wearing his usual red hoodie combo. It was still red themed, but you didn't expect any less. If your boys were anything, they were consistent.
You and Tord had always been opposites in most things. He was all doom and gloom, ice cold glares, vapes and cigarettes, black clothes and heavy rock music. He was blunt, he seemed apathetic, and often was rude. You were energetic and sweet. You loved bright colors and cutesy things. Cake and frappes with lots of whipped cream. You loved to share compliments with others, had a big heart, and cared deeply for others. That's not to say that you and Tord were incompatible - your relationship had been going strong for a couple of years now. Your opposite traits seemed to balance each other out. When you got too overwhelmed or worked up, he was there to douse you with a healthy round of realism, grounding you back to the present and calming you down. You were there when he started to feel like he wasn't himself, when he started to slip back into the person he was forced to be in the cold winters of Norway, you reminded him of the warmth of home.
And, over time, you developed similarities. Before you met him, you had dipped your toes into anime, but he let you watch them with him and soon it became a tradition of yours to binge-watch shows together. Tord had stopped drawing since high school, but watching you mindlessly doodle on blank paper while he tinkered away at his work desk reminded him of the joy it had brought him as a teen - so he started again. Plus, he had a brand new muse this time. Or if there was things that one of you enjoyed doing that wasn't quite the other's thing, that was okay too. Tord would sit at the kitchen table while you baked, scrolling away on his phone and occasionally showing you Tik Toks that you'd like. You would sit on his lap while he played PC games, either playing calmer games on your Switch or watching his gameplay until you fell asleep.
It looked strange to others, but for you and Tord, it worked.
You zoned back in as the car pulled into a parking space. Tord turned to you as he parked.
"Where'd you go, hm?"
"Nowhere. Just thinking of you."
Tord gave you a scrutinizing look, attempting to see if you were lying to him or not. (He always said you had a knack for downplaying your feelings. You insisted you had no idea what he was talking about.) Seemingly satisfied with what he found, he hummed and shut off the engine. You climbed out of the car, stretching out your legs.
The manga store that you and Tord liked to frequent was only a 20 minute ride into town from your neighborhood. It wasn't a little hole-in-the-wall, five sets of aisles in a tiny room type of place. This store was actually fairly popular, seeing an average flow of customers throughout the day. It helped that the owners had implemented a café area, where you could order anime character themed drinks.
The girl working the café counter waved at the two of you as you walked in. You smiled and waved as you walked over. She was familiar with you, since she worked on a lot of the days that you came in. You and her got along really well.
"Hi, Ruby! You dyed your hair a new color! The lavender looks really good on you."
"Thank you! I did love the red, but it was starting to get a little boring for me. Thought I'd spice it up."
She set down the equipment she was cleaning and walked over to the register.
"You guys gonna have your usual or do you wanna try something new?"
Tord was likely going to just have his usual drink, but you decided to give a new drink a chance. You looked up at Tord.
"I wanna try the Squirtle Sour Candy Boba."
He nodded, then ushered you off to the aisles. That's how things usually went during your outings here. He'd order your drinks while you went wandering off into the aisles, and he'd find you after the drinks were ready. It had taken a bit of argument between the two of you for you to give up trying to pay for your own drinks - he was just as stubborn as you were sometimes. You came to a compromise, though, when he let you buy your own manga and merch.
As usual, your first pit stop was to the romance manga. There weren't too many other customers - an older alt couple looking at the Jojo manga, a teenage boy at the BL section, and a small group of teenage girls giggling softly in the isekai aisle. You hummed softly as you looked over the covers, seeing if anything new caught your eye. You stopped once you reached the section you were looking for. Komi Can't Communicate.
You crouched down so you were level with the more recent volumes. Most of the time, you bought three volumes at a time. You huffed softly when you realized that this time, they were missing one of the ones you needed. Volumes 12, 13, and 15 were there - but no volume 14. With an exasperated sigh, you reached out and picked up volume 12, only to nearly drop it when a voice startled you.
"You know, there are more tasteful series that you'd probably enjoy more than that one."
You looked to your right. Someone had walked into the aisle with you when you weren't paying attention. It was a man, looking to be in around his 30s or so. You could feel yourself fight back a physical reaction to his appearance, and not in a good way. He had on what you could recognize as a Deadpool shirt on underneath a black zip-up hoodie that looked like it hadn't been washed in far too long. The ensemble was topped off perfectly with a leather necklace cord and a metal pendant that you would've guessed was a Naruto symbol of some kind (admittedly, you had never watched Naruto, and Tord mentioned that it wasn't really worth it in his opinion.)
Alarm bells were going off in your head at the sight of him.
"Oh. Is that so?"
As you stood up straight, you gave him a smile that you hoped wasn't too obviously forced. If he noticed, he didn't care.
"Since you're here by yourself, clearly you're a female of sense. You should start off with Dragon Ball. It is the very zenith of anime culture, and anyone who hasn't experienced it doesn't deserve to call themselves an anime fan."
Your alarm bells got louder.
"Actually, um, I know what Dragon Ball is. I've watched it since I was little - my older sibling showed it to me."
You hated the way an excited glint flashed across the man's eyes. He stepped a little closer to you.
"It seems I was right about you. You do have taste. It's not every day I meet a female who is familiar with real anime. Usually its only females who have been brainwashed by social media to think that they're bisexual, who come in here to read trash like Haikyu."
He stepped closer again. You tried to subtly shift backwards.
"Shows like that shouldn't even be categorized as anime. Its all woke propaganda that makes females change their dating standards for submissive men. But I can tell that you're different. You-"
"There you are."
Something solid and warm pressed against your back. You felt yourself immediately relax in Tord's presence. Turning to him, you gratefully took your drink from his hand.
His eyes weren't on you.
Tord was staring down the man in front of you, eyes the color of cold steel. He was easily taller than the other man, and definitely stronger. The man seemed to cower slightly.
"I was, uh, just talking to the lovely girl here-"
Tord cut him off by saying your name. Only when you tilted your head back to him did he finally glance at you.
"Get your other two volumes."
He didn't need to tell you twice. Ignoring the now blubbering man, who was once again the focus of Tord's piercing gaze, you dipped down and grabbed volumes 13 and 15. You could look for 14 some other time.
"Go to the plushie aisle. I'll meet you there."
You only spared one last glance at the man before slipping past Tord, heading around to the aisle filled with plushies and other merch. You couldn't see or hear Tord and the man, and you weren't sure you wanted to.
Standing in front of the bin of plushies, you slid your phone out of your purse and pulled up your private messages with Edd. You typed out a quick message to him.
'Tord might beat a guy to death.'
Edd, who was working on some commissions today, replied fast.
'Nothing new. What was it this time?'
'Creepy guy wouldn't leave me alone. Gave off incel vibes.'
'Yikes. I'm on Tord's side. Hope he kicks the guy's ass.'
Before you could continue the chat, you felt arms wrap around your waist. Tord rested his chin against your shoulder.
"You shouldn't tattle on me to Edd."
"Edd doesn't care, as long as you don't get yourself hurt. What did you do to the dude?"
Tord huffed. He was grumpy.
"Told him that if he was ever a creep to you again, I'd saw his balls off with a rusty scalpel and shove them down his throat. It was effective. He ran away, like a little bitch."
Despite it all, you couldn't help but giggle. You turned, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
"My hero. Let's go look at the Jujutsu Kaisen section."
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writerdream22 · 2 years
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requested by: no one, but I sincerely hope you like this anyways ✨🌻💛
pairings: Dream of the Endless x goddess!reader, Hob Gadling x goddess!reader (platonic), etc.
warnings: none, except for the presence of a few curse words
feedbacks are always appreciated!
Being betrothed to the Lord of Dreams himself wasn't an easy task, especially when you were a goddess that often had her own tasks to take care of.
In your 'past life', or so you liked to call it, people worshipped you and called you Athena. Even though wisdom was one of your virtues, you did some things that you now regretted; pride was one of your flaws after all, and you were working on smoothing out this imperfection.
Back when you wandered around Greece, you helped humankind and tried to aid them in the moment of need. As time went on, though, you noticed that less and less people asked for your help and you couldn't do anything but watch humanity start destroying itself.
One day, you dreamt of a better world. A world where you and all your brothers and sisters were still needed, where men were willing to listen to someone else's advice rather than act according to their own, individual needs.
And in a flowery field, which felt much too real to your liking, you saw him. Morpheus— the god of sleep.
You immediately recognized him thanks to the red ruby he wore around his neck; you'd met him once before, and you knew that he'd been married to one of your sisters, the muse Calliope, many centuries prior.
“Greetings, Athena”
“Greetings, Morpheus. Am I in the Dreaming?”
“Indeed, goddess of wisdom. And I've come to ask you what is the reason for your visit”
“Wow. I'm getting a special treatment, it seems”
“You are not answering my question”
“Well, if you must know... I ended up here. I did not intend to dream. I never did. It's the latest events that might have made my mind wander so far”
“I see.”
“I don't want to disturb you, Endless. I must wake up at once, for I have a few matters to take care of”
“On the contrary. It was an honour”
That is how your friendship started. You didn't dream often after that day, but when you did, Morpheus was there to keep away whichever Nightmare might have come your way.
As time went on, you decided to start roaming around the world, changing residence every few years so that no suspicions would rise regarding your inability to age. You lived in Turkey, Portugal, Spain, France, Morocco, Egypt, Italy, Germany and even Norway.
One day, in the 16th century, you found yourself walking through the streets of London. You were disguised as an ordinary woman, yet if another mystical being like you was to meet your eyes, they would have recognised the faint golden hue that was typical of the children of Zeus.
Somehow, you ended up in front of an inn, and after some hesitation you decided to walk in. You immediately felt the eyes of the few people inside burning into your back, as you asked for a pint of beer; your request was quickly denied, and your foolish pride brought you to begin arguing with the owner.
Just as things were about to escalate negatively, a dark-haired figure put himself between you and the man.
“My apologies, kind sir, but my little sister was just jesting”
“Yeah, keep that little thing away from stuff that isn't for her!”
“What? You filthy—”
“Now, my dear, let's sit at our table. I'm sorry, sir, she won't disturb you any longer. Right?”
“Right”
With that, the man led you away and invited you to sit in front of him at his table. Even though you didn't like talking to humans that much, he seemed interesting and deserving of your attention.
“You're not from here, aren't you?”
“No, I am not”
“Are you european?”
“I'm from Greece, yes. You were close, Mr.—”
“— Gadling. Hob Gadling. And you're— ”
“You can call me... Y/n, yes”
“I guess that it's not your real name”
“Indeed, it is not”
“You remind me of a friend. He must be here any minute now. I'll introduce him to you, if you want to wait for a little while”
“Yes, I can wait. I have all the time of the world, after all”
“You're funny”
“Thank you, Mr. Gadling”
While you waited for the man's mysterious friend, you started talking about even the stupidest of things. Thanks to him, you started thinking that humans weren't so boring, after all.
Suddenly, Hob's head turned towards the inn's door; you followed his gaze and you couldn't believe your eyes. It was him. Morpheus.
“Y/n, this is the friend I talked to you about.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you, sir”
“Likewise”
The two of you acted like you didn't know each other, though you were dying to talk to the Lord of Dreams alone. It had been some time since you last saw him and, even though you couldn't really admit it, you'd missed him dearly.
When he was about to leave, he asked if he could escort you home and you gladly accepted, not before bidding Hob Gadling goodbye and thanking him for his help.
“I see why you took an interest in him. He's a nice man”
“Indeed, he is”
“Why didn't you visit?”
“I was... busy”
“Doing what?”
“I had to find a suitable gift”
“You don't give gifts that easily, Dream. Is it for a new lover of yours?”
“No, actually. It is for you, Athena”
“Come on, you're kidding me. This means that— oh. Oh ! I get it now”
And in that moment, while the Endless handed you a little box, you realised what he meant by his gesture. He wanted to court you, and you were left speechless.
What he'd gifted you was even more surprising: a hairpin, which had an owl engraved on it. He knew how much you loved that animal, it was one of your symbols after all, and he also knew that you didn't like pompous stuff.
“This is beautiful, Morpheus. I don't know how to repay you”
“You don't have to. I only ask of you to love me, and I'll be happy. That is, if you reciprocate my feelings. If you don't, I'm sorry for having made such a bold move”
“It's not. I mean... your feelings are reciprocated”
“Really? Because I thought that—”
“Even I, goddess of wisdom, think that you sometimes think too much, Lord of Dreams.”
Soon after, you and Morpheus became husband and wife. Time was relative for you, but you were willing to spend your immortal life with him just as he was willing to devote himself to loving you for eternity.
The next few hundred years, you spent staying both in the Dreaming and the Waking World; you preferred staying with Dream and Lucienne, if you were honest, but you couldn't just leave humanity like that. And your husband fully supported your choice.
When he was captured, you didn't know what to do; being his consort, you were the Queen of Dreams, and you were appointed to rule over the Dreaming in his place. Lucienne aided you whenever you needed help, and Jessamy was left to look for Morpheus alone.
When she didn't come back either, your hopes to find your husband started fading away.
You regretted missing your centennial meetup with Hob Gadling and leaving your "human self" behind, but you were determined not to leave what your decaying realm unattended.
After more than a hundred years, in 2022, you felt his energy in the Dreaming, and so did Lucienne. Therefore, the two of you ran to greet Morpheus.
“Lucienne. Athena”
“My lord, you're back”
“I— uhm, we missed you, Dream.”
Then, the three of you got past your realm's gate, and to see sadness in Morpheus's eyes made you want to return to your old, vengeful self.
Nonetheless, you were set on helping your husband bring back who'd escaped from the Dreaming and retrieve what was stolen from him.
And you knew very well that it wasn't going to be easy.
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Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 2: Group B
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Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!
Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut
Pre-Frozen Norway: Epcot (1988-2014)
Propaganda:
"it's not technically GONE but it was totally rethemed to Frozen. It's so sucks."
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Future World fibre optic floor lights: Epcot (????-2019)
Propaganda:I AM SO FERAL ABOUT THIS AND WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR TAKING THESE OUT. Apparently at the newly open world celebration area, or whatever generic ass boring garden area took the place of Future World, there are some lame LED floor lights, but they apparently were malfunctioning the first week 🤪 It ain't got NOTHING on these! These babies were so magical, they seem simple, but as a kid, and heck even as an adult they brought me so much joy, but as a kid, this was pure disney magic! It will never be the same leaving Epcot and not having twinkling tinkerbell like lights on your path out 😭 Its the little things like this that made such a difference and is disappearing in the parks 😭
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bogkeep · 4 months
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im having more ISAT related feelings, spoilers under the cut
the island reminds me of northern norway. like, of course it does, that's my very first home that my family moved away from when i was a toddler. it's a place i will yearn for wildly and suddenly. of course, of course.
it's not a perfect match and that isn't the point, but. i think of fishing boats and fjords and dressing warm for the weather. i think of all the times i've joked with my friends about how northern norway isn't a real place. it's a very strange place - a vast wilderness where the sun doesn't set, or maybe doesn't rise at all. there's also the auroras, naturally, although i've never caught them at their brightest. someday, i hope.
it does get forgotten - or maybe neglected is a better word. so few people live up there it's hard for the big decision makers in the capital, snuggled up in the south, to understand what life is like up there. oh, and that one time it got burnt down - under ww2, when norway was under nazi occupation and they wanted to prevent russia from invading, they forced people to evacuate and set fire to all the houses. you can still find charred stumps of telephone poles scattered throughout.
my tiny hometown has shrunk, i think. the school closed long ago, as did the kindergarten. you gotta travel to the next towns over to do anything.
i can return if i want. it's not lost to me forever. i do visit, when i can. but i always wonder, if we had stayed, would i have been able to connect more with my sami and kvenish heritage? would i have learnt any of the northern sami language? i would at the very least have kept my dialect, i'm sure. these things aren't unattainable! but i don't know... how.
sorry i said i was going to talk about ISAT but just talked about my own first home instead. i can't claim to fully relate to siffrin and his situation, if anything i'm much closer to odile's... but the way siffrin's home feels to me in my heart is always going to be the way i feel about northern norway. something magical and far away that brought me into the world, something that shaped my marrow, something i left behind. i've had so many places to call home i'm always going to yearn for somewhere, it's not a game i can win, and i think that wistfulness is what siffrin and i can shake hands about.
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